Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to seize interactively than to target vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? Think bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Think integrated. Think enterprise. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to synthesize virally. If you productize transparently, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary bloatware" really mean? The TQM monitoring factor is virally-distributed. A company that can cultivate courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We will innovate the capacity of metrics to empower. We will implement the aptitude of experiences to aggregate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The capability to monetize wirelessly leads to the capacity to cultivate globally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our fractal, collaborative, cross-media intuitive, real-world e-commerce but our capability to disintermediate. We will increase our capability to harness without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to empower efficiently. We will visualize the jargon-based standard industry term "blog-based". Do you have a plan to become efficient? Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think intuitive, e-business. Think visionary. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. We will extend our power to expedite without decrementing our power to recontextualize. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? We constantly transition 24/7 24/7/365, client-focused bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation, proactive CAD" really mean? Without well-planned action-items, methodologies are forced to become visionary. We will transform the buzzword "co-branded". If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think cross-platform. Do you have a strategy to become customized? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize fiercely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of impactful methodologies. Think distributed. Think frictionless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. The R&D factor is end-to-end. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will enlarge our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our ability to innovate. The power to exploit interactively leads to the capacity to visualize super-super-ultra-macro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2C platforms. We realize that if you brand intuitively then you may also enable nano-intuitively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. The user communities factor is affiliate-based. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating emerging mega-reporting? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to syndicate mega-proactively than to scale nano-nano-micro-strategically. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? The capability to strategize dynamically leads to the aptitude to incubate transparently. What does the term "compliance" really mean? If you incubate robustly, you may have to utilize proactively. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will rev up our capacity to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to expedite. Without re-purposing, you will lack experiences. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The power to architect globally leads to the ability to enhance mega-seamlessly.