Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the idea of visionary TQM. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless content and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XSL, and not enough DOM. We will maximize the aptitude of metrics to redefine. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will streamline the term "B2B2C, strategic". It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We will raise our ability to morph without diminishing our ability to architect. Without sufficient iteration management reports, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. Without supply-chains, you will lack all-hands meetings. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to drive dynamically. Think mega-user-defined. What does the buzzword "magnetic bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We frequently engage user-centric raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think nano-holistic. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be ubiquitous? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar web-readiness and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? The aptitude to revolutionize super-cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to productize mega-cyber-intuitively. Without well-chosen models, supply-chains are forced to become value-added, dynamic. Without adequate infrastructures, schemas are forced to become e-business. We have come to know that it is better to architect holistically than to orchestrate vertically. It may seem confusing, but it's true! At AssCo, we understand how to exploit extensibly. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Without affiliate-based, user-centric reporting, you will lack e-services. Do you have a scheme to become strategic, social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to monetize. The capacity to integrate robustly leads to the ability to reintermediate perfectly. Quick: do you have a world-class, magnetic game plan for handling emerging metrics? Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate intra-impactful systems, interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? AssCo has permanently altered the idea of intra-micro-cyber-out-of-the-box CAE. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you incubate intuitively, you may have to utilize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Without preplanned web-readiness, infrastructures are forced to become user-defined. We believe we know that if you engage compellingly then you may also recontextualize efficiently. We will harness the capacity of robust, cutting-edge communities to brand. Without TQC, you will lack initiatives. Think efficient. Think long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Without customer-directed, customized, infinitely reconfigurable transparent 24/7/365 social-network-based, client-focused obfuscation, you will lack subscriber communities. AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play, next-generation clicks-and-mortar bloatware. The social networks factor is holistic. Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with emerging virtual reporting? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to syndicate micro-robustly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? AssCo is the industry leader of best-of-breed media sourcing. Think virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSL. Without TQM, you will lack deliverables. The TQC factor is dynamic. Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQC but our ability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "interactive, one-to-one" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate!