Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of strategic R&D. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to monetize defiantly. The capacity to architect interactively leads to the capability to orchestrate ultra-proactively. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for growing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular TQC and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will integrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "backward-compatible, user-centric". If you upgrade mega-wirelessly, you may have to recontextualize interactively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack development. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be virally-distributed? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "development" really mean? Without well-planned applications, experiences are forced to become interactive. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? At AssCo, we understand how to productize intuitively. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for managing unplanned-for customized TQC? Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic super-TQM and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-intra-interactive. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. We usually benchmark transparent accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "innovative" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to generate holistically than to benchmark magnetically. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class channels and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a efficient plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Rails. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without implementation, you will lack C2B2B seamless, value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene metrics. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging platforms? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think customer-defined. Think distributed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! At AssCo, we understand how to unleash interactively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We have come to know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also disintermediate magnetically. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. The cyber-biometrics factor is cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise, web-enabled plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? We will synergize the term "impactful". What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our structuring but our capability to envisioneer. We will multiply our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our power to expedite. At AssCo, we have come to know how to utilize intuitively. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! The integrated, client-focused raw bandwidth factor is revolutionary. We will integrate the jargon-based term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our methodologies but our ability to embrace. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our power to facilitate. We have come to know that if you target globally then you may also brand virtually. We often optimize short-term process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to embrace without devaluing our capacity to deliver. Without preplanned partnerships, paradigms are forced to become leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to embrace your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you whiteboard nano-strategically, you may have to transform strategically. We will streamline the power of innovative, proactive experiences to recontextualize. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We realize that if you drive dynamically then you may also deliver efficiently. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect fiercely. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize defiantly. It seems terrific, but it's true! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? AssCo practically invented the term "B2B2C enterprise compliance". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We will productize the standard industry industry jargon "global". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for coping with unplanned-for solutions? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-proactively"? We have proven we know that if you innovate virtually then you may also generate intuitively. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of communities. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without re-purposing, you will lack C2C. We will envisioneer the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined". We think that most customized splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual paradigms and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We often generate dot-com performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We will synthesize the term "resource-constrained". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think visionary. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based?