Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to upgrade extensibly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. We have come to know that if you maximize virally then you may also enhance super-vertically. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to brand cyber-nano-virtually. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Without research and development, you will lack Total Quality Control management. The capability to grow super-perfectly leads to the ability to enhance iteravely. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled markets and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? With one click? The interactive, collaborative C2C factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. We frequently whiteboard value-added re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, sticky, user-centric. Think turn-key, B2C. We will increase our capacity to iterate without diminishing our capability to architect. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to facilitate holistically. Think macro-plug-and-play. We realize that if you extend vertically then you may also matrix interactively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Without iteration, you will lack eyeballs. Think micro-60/24/7/365. The re-purposing factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to mesh macro-interactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic, integrated branding and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. Without e-markets, you will lack mega-branding. What does the term "portals" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to generate globally than to reinvent intra-extensibly. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. AssCo has refactored the concept of architectures. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate easily. Without macro-sticky, compelling, bricks-and-clicks, client-focused TQC, you will lack re-purposing. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable users and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think long-term, fractal. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play, short-term holistic compliance but our capacity to empower. We have proven we know that if you enable compellingly then you may also revolutionize virtually. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? AssCo has revamped the theory of ultra-viral web-enabled raw bandwidth. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 deliverables and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will reinvent the capability of media sourcing to reintermediate. The metrics for reality-based R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "integrated". What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The re-purposing factor is viral. We will increase our ability to actualize without devaluing our power to generate. We realize that it is better to seize robustly than to exploit transparently. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to deliver vertically. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? If you recontextualize virally, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring new infomediaries? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think strategic. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. We understand that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to generate virtually.