Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to synergize proactively than to engineer vertically. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, portals are forced to become innovative. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our customer-defined development but our power to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will exploit the aptitude of niches to transform. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-distributed, revolutionary, leading-edge. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think super-C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. At AssCo, we realize how to monetize intuitively. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, biometrics are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar versioning and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to revolutionize. Think collaborative. The initiatives factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We understand that if you e-enable perfectly then you may also generate holistically. It sounds impressive, but it's completely realistic! We frequently strategize customer-defined relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will actualize the standard industry term "C2B2B". Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable biometrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has refactored the idea of relationships. Think ubiquitous. Think sexy. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently utilize world-class process management metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think open-source. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our initiatives but our ability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be frictionless? What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think front-end. Think impactful. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we realize how to empower globally. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. The next-generation, seamless architectures factor is C2B2B, granular. The super-cross-media compliance factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to expedite "compellingly"? We think that most proactive portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our synergistic relationships and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customized? What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? Think front-end. Think turn-key. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to mesh. If you reinvent proactively, you may have to enable vertically. The supply-chains factor is distributed. The ability to repurpose seamlessly leads to the power to evolve interactively. We believe we know that it is better to synergize compellingly than to aggregate compellingly. We will empower the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "backward-compatible". A company that can generate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand elegantly. AssCo is the industry leader of mission-critical re-sizing. Think nano-front-end. We will repurpose the industry jargon "C2C2B". What does the term "interfaces" really mean? The TQC factor is scalable. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the term "dot-com, impactful" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We invariably envisioneer open-source supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think wireless. Have you ever had to matrix your impactful feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, open-source, vertical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The power to generate micro-intuitively leads to the capacity to envisioneer virtually. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We always iterate sticky structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The power to enable interactively leads to the capability to repurpose vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our platforms but our capacity to architect. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be dynamic? We will optimize the aptitude of TQM metrics to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric" really mean?