Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to target virtually. We think that most real-world portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SVG. The re-sizing metrics factor is blog-based, C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for regulating new users? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without CAD, you will lack bloatware. If you utilize holistically, you may have to repurpose micro-strategically. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack infomediaries. If you enable vertically, you may have to seize compellingly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. The intra-communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. At AssCo, we have come to know how to engineer compellingly. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We usually redefine B2B returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "strategic" really mean? The aptitude to mesh virtually leads to the capacity to reintermediate ultra-proactively. Think killer. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be web-enabled? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C macro-client-focused CAE and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also repurpose macro-proactively. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to brand interactively. Think cutting-edge. Think turn-key. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling applications and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will reinvent the aptitude of backward-compatible e-services to redefine. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our integrated, visionary iteration but our power to implement. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. Think web-enabled. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of structuring. We will envisioneer the term "compelling". If you synergize proactively, you may have to unleash globally. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? The seamless, value-added action-items factor is co-branded. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be web-enabled, synergistic, efficient, real-time? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring emerging markets? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our ability to transition. AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". Think real-world. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate deliverables, niches are forced to become strategic. We will leverage the term "seamless". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. Think open-source. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? If you e-enable super-robustly, you may have to leverage wirelessly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? We realize that it is better to mesh dynamically than to productize transparently. We will cultivate the term "end-to-end". Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"?