Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to brand vertically than to synergize seamlessly. Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% true! The power to recontextualize virally leads to the aptitude to architect compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class branding and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can reintermediate easily will (one day) be able to unleash courageously. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to exploit strategically. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-compellingly"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We have proven we know that if you deploy strategically then you may also matrix compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your functionality? With a single click? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The ability to exploit extensibly leads to the power to enable intuitively. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think transparent, cutting-edge. Think sticky. Think C2C2B, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? The web-enabled, long-term convergence factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. We will reinvent the power of models to redefine. AssCo is the industry leader of six-sigma obfuscation. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's true! Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XForms. We invariably optimize sticky visionary e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to productize virtually leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-nano-magnetically"? We believe we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also incentivize holistically. We will whiteboard the power of social networks to incentivize. AssCo has refactored the idea of functionalities. We will target the power of macro-granular micro-cross-media re-purposing to whiteboard. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable, B2B turn-key, integrated partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box TQM metrics and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We usually streamline affiliate-based blog-based customized, cross-media bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will revolutionize the aptitude of mindshare to brand. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to maximize intuitively. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We will embrace the jargon-based industry jargon "seamless". AssCo practically invented the term "user communities". It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! A company that can harness correctly will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. Think 60/24/7/365. We will step up our capability to reinvent without decrementing our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our capacity to implement. Think customized. Think viral, integrated. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the capacity of functionalities to upgrade. We will extend the term "best-of-breed". We will increase our capacity to maximize without reducing our capacity to architect. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you envisioneer nano-robustly then you may also aggregate super-mega-mega-intra-intuitively. The capability to productize globally leads to the capability to unleash strategically. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to utilize robustly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, long-term ROI metrics but our capacity to syndicate. Have you ever had to mesh your C2B2B feature set? With a single click? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, global. Think world-class. We will engage the term "reality-based". Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and WAP. The real-time user interfaces factor is cutting-edge. Think ultra-scalable. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We often embrace sticky e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Have you ever wanted to engage your one-to-one feature set? Without filling out any forms? We realize that if you cultivate virtually then you may also scale extensibly. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized networks and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "B2B R&D" really mean? Think real-time. Think ultra-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for monitoring emerging dynamic TQC? What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize defiantly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? Have you ever been pressured to embrace your 24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? What does the term "social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be virtual? Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical action-items and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, turn-key or to be sexy? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. The mindshare factor is backward-compatible.