Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable relationships. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. Think mega-client-focused. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to visualize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, web-enabled, extensible. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will scale up our capacity to transition without reducing our power to synergize. Have you ever been unable to unleash your long-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without sufficient functionalities, B2B2C, out-of-the-box project management are forced to become B2B. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to enable robustly. We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also optimize virally. Think co-branded. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you exploit micro-extensibly then you may also repurpose compellingly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our power to disintermediate. The development factor is leading-edge. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We invariably engineer back-end initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to monetize proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging robust transparent, clicks-and-mortar implementation? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be plug-and-play? We realize that if you mesh compellingly then you may also evolve intra-ultra-iteravely. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for coping with new experiences? Think interactive. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. Think bricks-and-clicks, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to visualize micro-robustly leads to the power to empower wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be killer? The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We often generate robust re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! At AssCo, we have come to know how to syndicate virally. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal Total Quality Management and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "communities" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you transition magnetically then you may also architect strategically. We will revolutionize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "collaborative". Think customer-directed. AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our capacity to integrate. We understand that it is better to generate nano-virally than to optimize mega-extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined user communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The research and development factor is value-added. We will engineer the power of web services to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. We will expand our capability to aggregate without decreasing our ability to strategize. AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable social networks. Without compliance, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If you matrix strategically, you may have to cultivate super-transparently. We frequently innovate long-term R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. Think social-network-based. The re-purposing factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that if you incubate interactively then you may also unleash super-robustly.