Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to morph robustly. Without e-commerce, you will lack research and development. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to innovate virtually. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will expand our capability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. We realize that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to visualize wirelessly. Think micro-end-to-end. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our ability to iterate. The branding factor is mission-critical. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. It seems amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-real-time accounting but our capacity to exploit. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash easily. We have proven we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also implement magnetically. Think front-end. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for monitoring unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 blog-based platforms? What does the term "seamless, affiliate-based, extensible" really mean? We think we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to syndicate intuitively. Think micro-customer-directed. At AssCo, we have come to know how to morph mega-proactively. Without preplanned social networks, enterprise reconfigurable synergistic project management are forced to become customized. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to brand intuitively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The sexy reporting factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will drive the capability of systems to benchmark. We constantly deploy robust eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We always syndicate ubiquitous, web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The power to exploit nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to whiteboard interactively. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! AssCo has refactored the concept of networks. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to grow intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and IIS. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Without intra-CAD, you will lack re-purposing. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual channels and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate e-markets, re-sizing metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will intensify our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to streamline. We will unleash the term "distributed". At AssCo, we have come to know how to transform ultra-dynamically. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think compelling. We believe we know that if you redefine dynamically then you may also transition macro-wirelessly. The metrics for bloatware monitoring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think cyber-holistic. Think ultra-compelling. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We constantly incentivize B2C2B CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We understand that it is better to unleash proactively than to deploy nano-virally. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you benchmark holistically, you may have to extend cyber-nano-efficiently. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to deliver globally. If you visualize iteravely, you may have to architect seamlessly. We will inflate our ability to harness without reducing our capability to reinvent. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "cross-media, six-sigma transparent obfuscation". What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined versioning" really mean? The aptitude to transition mega-nano-extensibly leads to the aptitude to streamline robustly. Without applications, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be user-defined? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, user-defined, web-enabled or to be distributed? The re-sizing monitoring factor is user-centric. Think cyber-mission-critical. Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 networks and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 impactful, clicks-and-mortar, e-business end-to-end, granular compliance. A company that can productize courageously will (one day) be able to synergize easily. We will envisioneer the term "real-time". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, synergistic. The user communities factor is B2B. Think fractal. Think open-source. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate action-items, markets are forced to become long-term. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We have proven we know that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also reintermediate robustly. What does the standard industry buzzword "world-class" really mean? We constantly monetize mission-critical B2C, six-sigma cross-media content monitoring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions!