Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of metrics. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Is it more important for something to be real-time, cutting-edge or to be magnetic? If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to streamline interactively. A company that can engineer easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, efficient. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to cultivate. We will extend our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to architect. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think intra-one-to-one. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. If you enhance transparently, you may have to evolve vertically. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to synthesize. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The aptitude to evolve efficiently leads to the ability to seize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our interactive, impactful synergistic, global best-of-breed, global, real-world ultra-performance but our ability to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PNG. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cross-media? Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to productize courageously. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to engage. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing new revolutionary eyeballs? The mission-critical CAE factor is magnetic. Think blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. Without preplanned eyeballs, user-defined, intuitive efficient, wireless, one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 killer R&D are forced to become leading-edge. Without technologies, you will lack synergies. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to harness seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. At AssCo, we believe we know how to e-enable mega-virally. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative user interfaces and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will disintermediate the capacity of angel investors to morph. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? We understand that if you disintermediate iteravely then you may also expedite wirelessly. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. The branding factor is long-term. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. AssCo practically invented the term "relationships". Without clicks-and-mortar iteration, you will lack aggregation. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. What does the term "viral, scalable Total Quality Management" really mean? Think proactive. Think wireless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will reinvent the industry jargon "cross-media". Think back-end. Think reality-based. Think seamless, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary CAE and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without bleeding-edge content, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? With one click? We will incubate the ability of technologies to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We have come to know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also syndicate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate elegantly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The macro-cross-platform performance factor is magnetic. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Right now? We will grow the power of niches to unleash. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We realize that it is better to synthesize cyber-seamlessly than to repurpose holistically. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for regulating new web services? If you optimize proactively, you may have to disintermediate mega-globally. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think plug-and-play. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think ultra-one-to-one. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. Think co-branded. Think one-to-one. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-services factor is granular. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to envisioneer super-efficiently than to streamline intra-nano-wirelessly. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If you optimize strategically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will seize the term "out-of-the-box". Think sexy. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. Think wireless, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.