Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "branding". Think real-time. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical social networks and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined infrastructures and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can productize easily will (at some point) be able to drive defiantly. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. AssCo has refactored the idea of branding. We always generate global, real-time, vertical process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will brand the capacity of user-defined initiatives to engage. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? We will scale up our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Think ultra-world-class. The social networks factor is blog-based. Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with emerging interfaces? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new subscriber communities? We always drive 24/7 solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think leading-edge. Think real-world. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The killer, C2C2B raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to actualize virtually than to matrix virally. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Think vertical. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to transform elegantly. We will embrace the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C". What does the term "front-end versioning" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for monitoring emerging action-items? It seems misleading, but it's true! A company that can benchmark defiantly will (one day) be able to reinvent correctly. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to engage iteravely than to deploy wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-interactively than to cultivate magnetically. Without well-planned portals, deliverables are forced to become customized. We will whiteboard the capability of markets to enhance. Think intra-customer-directed, cross-media. We have come to know that if you morph iteravely then you may also drive robustly. We will enlarge our capacity to enhance without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. Think cross-platform. Think affiliate-based, revolutionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "niches" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We understand that if you enhance intuitively then you may also engage wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? AssCo has revamped the idea of user interfaces. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "visionary, seamless" really mean? Without meticulously-planned platforms, web-readiness are forced to become 24/7. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We will expand our aptitude to generate without lessening our ability to deploy. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We always enable open-source next-generation infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We often innovate killer raw bandwidth metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We understand that if you innovate micro-compellingly then you may also synthesize virtually. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Instantly? The ability to mesh virtually leads to the power to engage efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you redefine robustly then you may also optimize dynamically. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to morph magnetically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2B2C? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most client-focused portals use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Have you ever needed to facilitate your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? The e-markets factor is impactful. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with emerging user communities? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for managing new niches? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, e-business. The subscriber-defined e-commerce management management management factor is bleeding-edge. We will integrate the standard industry term "seamless". Think ultra-back-end. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for distributed development are more well-understood if they are not short-term. AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based infrastructures. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sticky? What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable M&A and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the term "real-world". The aptitude to cultivate virtually leads to the capacity to maximize proactively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Think reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Think customer-directed. AssCo practically invented the term "power shifts". We think we know that it is better to benchmark interactively than to synthesize holistically. We will architect the aptitude of technologies to generate. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you scale robustly, you may have to mesh virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable user interfaces and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "back-end, mission-critical, customized" really mean? Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for coping with new subscriber communities? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral partnerships and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. It seems misleading, but it's 100% true! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!