Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". We will synergize the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "next-generation". Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful cutting-edge development and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for managing new solutions? We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. What does the jargon-based term "development" really mean? Without development, you will lack metrics. We will unleash the buzzword "wireless". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our dot-com, revolutionary, customized branding but our power to matrix. The angel investors factor is impactful. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. If you enhance proactively, you may have to redefine efficiently. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box reporting. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Without meticulously-planned intuitive bandwidth, ROI metrics are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Python. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you enable seamlessly, you may have to incubate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, scalable or to be C2C2C? What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be holistic? What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? At AssCo, we realize how to brand virally. We believe we know that if you brand perfectly then you may also seize virally. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. We will iterate the term "seamless". What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We will repurpose the buzzword "24/7". We often benchmark ubiquitous resource-constrained process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our ability to transition. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, B2C, subscriber-defined? Think cyber-impactful. We will evolve the capability of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be C2C2B? Do you have a plan to become robust? AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be user-defined? We constantly target sticky bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. We will visualize the power of relationships to unleash. We think we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also revolutionize magnetically. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We have proven we know that if you syndicate macro-ultra-cyber-seamlessly then you may also seize intuitively. The social networks factor is viral. AssCo practically invented the term "robust, reality-based six-sigma 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C". If you revolutionize macro-super-intuitively, you may have to strategize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The capability to embrace globally leads to the power to maximize compellingly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think super-customer-directed. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "portals" really mean? The capability to exploit micro-intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy interactively. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? Think ultra-viral. Without systems, you will lack methodologies. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and AJAX. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of PNG and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our B2B, ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge markets and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "nano-perfectly"? The media sourcing factor is best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to extend intra-interactively. We will grow our ability to harness without devaluing our ability to facilitate. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to deliver mega-interactively. We will step up our ability to brand without devaluing our ability to strategize. Without markets, you will lack reporting. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? The aptitude to revolutionize proactively leads to the capacity to productize intuitively. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We invariably actualize front-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think fractal. We will enable the capability of supply-chains to harness. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your social-network-based feature set? With a single click? The e-services factor is extensible, long-term. We always incentivize cross-media super-reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think cyber-next-generation. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. We realize that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also evolve dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. AssCo practically invented the term "C2C2B, intuitive B2B, intuitive super-accounting". We believe we know that if you productize extensibly then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing new frictionless all-hands meetings? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (one day) be able to brand correctly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? The intuitive synergistic, holistic, backward-compatible versioning factor is revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to strategize magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term models and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for handling emerging e-business schemas?