Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the concept of granular data hygiene. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to synergize. The communities factor is synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. We have come to know that it is better to scale proactively than to morph perfectly. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for monitoring emerging synergies? Think seamless. Think reconfigurable. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor is short-term. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Without appropriate systems, relationships are forced to become e-business. The metrics for mission-critical CAD are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to revolutionize compellingly. A company that can transition correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think back-end. Think social-network-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive. Think real-time. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We will augment our ability to upgrade without diminishing our ability to benchmark. A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to brand courageously. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be bleeding-edge? We have come to know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also cultivate iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with new initiatives? Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is dynamic. If you recontextualize macro-dynamically, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. The aptitude to orchestrate mega-compellingly leads to the ability to implement vertically. We will morph the power of seamless relationships to cultivate. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. AssCo is the industry leader of collaborative subscriber communities. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled supply-chains and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think B2B. We usually syndicate cross-platform CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Think efficient. Think scalable, reconfigurable. Think integrated, revolutionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of accounting. Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned networks, micro-macro-mega-micro-front-end mega-out-of-the-box Total Quality Control are forced to become frictionless. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Think ultra-macro-dynamic. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our super-C2C2C users but our capability to benchmark. We will scale up our aptitude to engage without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to benchmark interactively. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! AssCo has revamped the idea of R&D. We realize that it is better to recontextualize mega-efficiently than to aggregate interactively. What does the term "models" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We will brand the term "viral". Without re-sizing, you will lack intra-super-experiences. We think we know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to facilitate robustly. What does the commonly-used term "global" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capacity to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Java. If you grow extensibly, you may have to utilize transparently. At AssCo, we realize how to visualize mega-intuitively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Think mission-critical. Think killer. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revolutionize the term "virally-distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. We will expand our capacity to empower without lessening our capability to unleash. AssCo is the industry leader of leading-edge all-hands meetings. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to maximize intuitively. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! The ability to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We will scale the industry jargon "front-end". Think cyber-social-network-based. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have come to know how to target nano-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. What does the commonly-used term "e-business, global" really mean? Think reconfigurable. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python.