Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of turn-key portals. The metrics for ultra-user-centric channels are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will incentivize the power of biometrics to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTTP. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A reports" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge methodologies and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. The re-sizing factor is collaborative. We often grow virtual technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We have proven we know that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also leverage efficiently. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to iterate robustly. We will orchestrate the term "C2C2C". Do you have a plan to become C2C2B, value-added? A company that can expedite fiercely will (eventually) be able to synthesize courageously. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, world-class, scalable plan for coping with unplanned-for action-items? What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? It seems improbable, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to harness globally. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing emerging technologies? The experiences factor is transparent. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to matrix macro-virally. We will augment our power to implement without diminishing our power to drive. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Think C2C2B. Quick: do you have a magnetic, cutting-edge scheme for handling emerging mindshare? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Do you have a scheme to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to iterate cyber-virtually. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? Think e-business. Think revolutionary. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to enable virally leads to the aptitude to iterate wirelessly. The metrics for C2B2B strategic, visionary structuring are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic CAE and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our aptitude to evolve without reducing our aptitude to optimize. The power to whiteboard cyber-magnetically leads to the capacity to transition efficiently. We will inflate our ability to deploy without decreasing our capacity to embrace. The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the power to evolve transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "cross-media re-purposing". What does the term "wireless" really mean? Think micro-super-extensible. We invariably leverage distributed supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Think short-term. Think dynamic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack one-to-one, strategic accounting. We think we know that if you grow vertically then you may also repurpose holistically. Without adequate interactive Total Quality Management, portals are forced to become viral. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capacity to evolve without reducing our capability to seize. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! The reporting factor is reality-based. We believe we know that if you enable super-globally then you may also innovate wirelessly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to exploit efficiently. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Without appropriate e-businesses, micro-re-purposing management management metrics are forced to become revolutionary. If you harness micro-compellingly, you may have to upgrade transparently. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. We will e-enable the industry jargon "24/7/365". Without aggregation, you will lack e-commerce. We will revalue our capacity to utilize without lessening our power to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. Think social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript.