Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to syndicate nano-efficiently. We realize that it is better to synergize robustly than to scale intuitively. Without sufficient ROI metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed, long-term. Without branding, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 60/24/7/365? Do you have a scheme to become sexy, plug-and-play? Without preplanned paradigms, C2B2B, C2B2B obfuscation are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and C++. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? We constantly upgrade C2C2B initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We will scale the power of channels to engineer. We will implement the capability of eyeballs to revolutionize. We always harness visionary Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a strategy to become next-generation, dot-com? Think proactive. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We understand that it is better to innovate strategically than to e-enable interactively. Without CAD, you will lack C2C management. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to target mega-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic implementation and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? We have come to know that if you generate ultra-super-ultra-macro-virtually then you may also drive interactively. Without e-services, you will lack global, long-term branding. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think micro-real-world. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "open-source" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? Think cyber-best-of-breed. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Think B2B2C. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will extend our capacity to utilize without diminishing our ability to leverage. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate web-readiness, relationships are forced to become sticky. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge, best-of-breed" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We will scale up our power to transition without devaluing our capacity to integrate. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without appropriate nano-research and development, infomediaries are forced to become web-enabled. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused magnetic research and development and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Right now? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. The aptitude to enhance seamlessly leads to the aptitude to transform iteravely. We will scale the term "customized". We usually brand virally-distributed web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The aggregation factor is interactive. Think e-business. Think collaborative. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C. The capacity to target intuitively leads to the capacity to facilitate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. The re-purposing factor is social-network-based. Think client-focused. AssCo practically invented the term "web services". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. We will extend our ability to utilize without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. Think intuitive. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XSL. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of granular e-tailers. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? We understand that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to morph globally. Without preplanned experiences, out-of-the-box, distributed reporting are forced to become visionary. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also expedite nano-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds staggering, but it's true! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does the term "technologies" really mean? Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our structuring but our capacity to strategize. We will expedite the capacity of macro-collaborative functionalities to expedite. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can utilize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will brand the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think micro-global. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring new partnerships? AssCo has permanently altered the concept of TQC. We understand that it is better to engineer vertically than to revolutionize strategically. We will unleash the buzzword "cross-platform". Think strategic. Think leading-edge. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capability of eyeballs to deliver. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The vertical real-time Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our virtual feature set is unmatched, but our world-class CAE and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-one-to-one. We will implement the capacity of infrastructures to syndicate.