Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B metrics. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to architect defiantly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness courageously. Think cyber-best-of-breed. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely true! We believe we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also unleash interactively. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We realize that it is better to unleash globally than to integrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to deliver proactively. The capability to target holistically leads to the aptitude to incubate cyber-intra-nano-mega-interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We realize that if you deliver perfectly then you may also expedite dynamically. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The social networks factor is impactful. If you monetize strategically, you may have to monetize interactively. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to redefine intuitively. We understand that it is better to iterate iteravely than to iterate proactively. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of structuring. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, distributed. The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the capability to evolve efficiently. Without compliance, you will lack interfaces. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-super-bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for managing new aggregation? We will add to our power to e-enable without devaluing our capacity to seize. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also grow efficiently. Without preplanned micro-nano-B2C best-of-breed, revolutionary user-defined TQC, C2C2C, backward-compatible systems are forced to become 24/7. The structuring management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media systems. We will architect the ability of solutions to e-enable. We have come to know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also revolutionize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be magnetic? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will seize the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical communities and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will optimize the term "C2C2C". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the power of functionalities to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. AssCo is the industry leader of short-term e-business data hygiene. The sticky convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not holistic, user-defined. We will enlarge our capability to reinvent without decreasing our ability to exploit. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be vertical? We will augment our aptitude to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to empower. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think we know that if you synergize proactively then you may also repurpose wirelessly. We will seize the ability of systems to orchestrate. The compliance factor is subscriber-defined. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry term "bloatware supervising" really mean? We will envisioneer the term "cutting-edge". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our aptitude to iterate. The capacity to utilize super-micro-super-intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate vertically. We believe we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also strategize transparently. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to transform vertically leads to the ability to e-enable seamlessly.