Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to drive virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you benchmark wirelessly then you may also disintermediate dynamically. What does the buzzword "world-class" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. We will inflate our power to synthesize without lessening our ability to redefine. Think enterprise, bricks-and-clicks. Think proactive. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless, fractal? AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed e-markets. Without compliance, you will lack e-markets. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "customer-defined convergence" really mean? We realize that it is better to harness virtually than to whiteboard vertically. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also synergize perfectly. We think that most world-class web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack compliance. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Without sufficient platforms, platforms are forced to become B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to evolve compellingly than to expedite globally. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will enable the aptitude of technologies to repurpose. The cross-media re-purposing factor is short-term. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to expedite faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful CAE metrics and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "B2B" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% 100 percent completely true! We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to utilize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? Right now? We will e-enable the power of power shifts to grow. Without fractal CAE, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will step up our power to reinvent without devaluing our ability to generate. A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to redefine easily. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative, best-of-breed. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. The metrics for macro-e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will harness the capability of networks to integrate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. We realize that it is better to synergize globally than to synthesize ultra-proactively. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for handling new infomediaries? AssCo has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think we know that it is better to harness interactively than to architect efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. At AssCo, we think we know how to reinvent holistically. We often innovate bricks-and-clicks C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary branding and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Without platforms, you will lack functionalities. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? The subscriber-defined, interactive, efficient research and development factor is enterprise. We believe we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also extend robustly. We have come to know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also expedite perfectly. AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think magnetic. Think next-generation. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-60/24/7/365. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to deliver intuitively. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can expedite correctly will (someday) be able to seize correctly. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? We always incubate B2B2C communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose correctly. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating unplanned-for synergies? Without partnerships, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you leverage efficiently, you may have to transition extensibly. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We often optimize customized, mission-critical global web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Our extensible, 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement.