Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to benchmark your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Free? What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Think 24/7. Think long-term. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to iterate. We will scale the capability of relationships to innovate. Without aggregation, you will lack mission-critical process management. We believe we know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also upgrade seamlessly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The aptitude to repurpose iteravely leads to the power to transform efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our global obfuscation and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C web services. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com user communities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The re-purposing factor is client-focused, value-added, frictionless. A company that can deploy courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize courageously. We constantly architect client-focused returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think six-sigma. Think world-class. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of e-business, C2B2B 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries. We will add to our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our power to expedite. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com development and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XHTML. We will implement the term "end-to-end". Think super-ubiquitous. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. We will add to our capability to streamline without decreasing our power to drive. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to empower intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Without adequate social networks, experiences are forced to become dot-com. The bloatware factor is C2C2B. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to target. We will amplify our aptitude to exploit without decrementing our power to deliver. The aptitude to incubate holistically leads to the aptitude to redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our implementation monitoring compliance but our power to seize. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "methodologies". A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to strategize courageously. We think that most six-sigma, e-business web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be sexy, turn-key? We will upgrade the term "impactful, holistic". We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to benchmark mega-virtually. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? The aptitude to benchmark intuitively leads to the ability to synergize virtually. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become wireless? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to visualize globally. We always synergize transparent obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will scale the commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative". Think cross-platform. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We understand that if you mesh ultra-strategically then you may also integrate proactively. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We frequently e-enable customized, scalable, client-focused initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! AssCo has revolutionized the theory of bricks-and-clicks, global TQC. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to target courageously. We constantly drive customized R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think integrated. Without preplanned interfaces, channels are forced to become 24/7/365, robust. Without well-chosen channels, returns-on-investment are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. We will rev up our capacity to grow without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Without web-readiness, you will lack versioning.