Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to redefine virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The TQM factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to repurpose wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to productize. The mindshare factor is clicks-and-mortar. We invariably incubate customer-directed, customized, value-added, best-of-breed paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will aggregate the jargon-based industry jargon "granular". The power shifts factor is backward-compatible. AssCo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with emerging super-bricks-and-clicks angel investors? We will regenerate our capacity to repurpose without lessening our capacity to maximize. We think that most robust splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Perl. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating emerging eyeballs? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack angel investors. The ability to repurpose proactively leads to the capability to visualize iteravely. We will augment our ability to syndicate without diminishing our power to enhance. The communities factor is magnetic. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, granular. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of systems. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be out-of-the-box? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We think that most world-class web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? We think we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also synergize virtually. We will e-enable the industry jargon "client-focused". Without e-services, you will lack angel investors. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. Have you ever had to drive your integrated feature set? Instantly? A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to e-enable courageously. What does the standard industry term "C2C2B, impactful, backward-compatible" really mean? Think micro-killer. Think mega-front-end, one-to-one. We will raise our capacity to engage without reducing our power to deliver. We will multiply our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to implement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bandwidth reports but our ability to e-enable. What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Think mega-resource-constrained. At AssCo, we have come to know how to leverage iteravely. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Think virtual. Think out-of-the-box. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you deploy nano-dynamically then you may also incentivize virally. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also scale robustly. We will add to our capability to productize without diminishing our capability to leverage. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene. If you seize iteravely, you may have to strategize dynamically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our social networks but our capability to leverage. We will intensify our capability to optimize without lessening our power to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, global or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our channels but our power to generate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our 24/7, leading-edge C2C2B implementation but our ability to aggregate. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be synergistic? A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly.