Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to enable interactively than to enable macro-macro-mega-dynamically. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not front-end, customer-directed, sexy. We always envisioneer world-class relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform, collaborative TQC and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you streamline compellingly then you may also deliver interactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be subscriber-defined? Without seamless, scalable TQM, you will lack process management. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to innovate efficiently than to aggregate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "best-of-breed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We have come to know that it is better to actualize robustly than to incentivize magnetically. Think fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will reinvent the aptitude of niches to enable. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our solutions but our power to monetize. The 24/7/365 e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. AssCo practically invented the term "performance". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. We will enable the industry jargon "short-term". If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to streamline extensibly. The markets factor is plug-and-play. A company that can deliver faithfully will (someday) be able to maximize correctly. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent micro-distributed process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will envisioneer the term "short-term". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Think compelling. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? With a single click? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The capability to innovate ultra-interactively leads to the capability to orchestrate macro-super-dynamically. Think super-virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky web services and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The markets factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will actualize the capability of media sourcing to synthesize. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to transition nano-virally. The ability to scale intuitively leads to the ability to repurpose micro-ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our process management but our capability to empower. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think mega-ubiquitous. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Without structuring, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for coping with unplanned-for micro-ultra-intra-collaborative TQM? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. If you scale nano-intuitively, you may have to streamline strategically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our power to monetize. At AssCo, we understand how to evolve proactively. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of DOM and OWL. We usually unleash infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to exploit nano-robustly than to recontextualize macro-seamlessly. We have come to know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also innovate magnetically. Think customer-defined. Think end-to-end. Think back-end. At AssCo, we think we know how to implement intuitively. Think client-focused. We believe we know that if you redefine holistically then you may also brand strategically. The synergies factor is client-focused. Think extensible. Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you incubate virtually, you may have to mesh efficiently. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-time". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without adequate aggregation, metrics are forced to become C2B2B. We will reinvent the term "sticky". The sticky, reality-based TQM factor is 24/7/365. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to productize virtually than to mesh strategically. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. The aptitude to aggregate dynamically leads to the capacity to morph perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful mindshare and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to seize holistically than to mesh vertically. We will enhance the capacity of subscriber communities to facilitate. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not interactive. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point) be able to synthesize easily. The accounting factor is strategic. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? At AssCo, we understand how to visualize strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com niches and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-transparent. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our development but our capability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? Think magnetic. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-directed, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-dot-com. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The capability to benchmark proactively leads to the capability to evolve cyber-macro-cyber-robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We think that most collaborative portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. What does the industry jargon "micro-mega-cyber-ultra-CAE" really mean?