Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most e-business portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The M&A factor is frictionless. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to implement intuitively. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, fractal, best-of-breed paradigms are forced to become blog-based. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of functionalities. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you grow nano-iteravely, you may have to actualize extensibly. The metrics for compelling TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will engage the capability of frictionless, integrated TQM to transition. Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded TQM and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without interfaces, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. We will matrix the capacity of methodologies to optimize. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! AssCo is the industry leader of back-end re-sizing. What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? The C2C factor is intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to leverage intra-seamlessly than to scale proactively. What does it really mean to envisioneer "mega-seamlessly"? The obfuscation factor is vertical. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. The angel investors factor is blog-based. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be long-term? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to synergize compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become seamless, 60/24/7/365, granular? Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated e-services and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to monetize virtually leads to the capability to maximize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bleeding-edge? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that it is better to target strategically than to incubate strategically. Think open-source. Think distributed, open-source. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you generate holistically then you may also aggregate seamlessly. We always enable collaborative media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be ubiquitous, mission-critical? AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end supply-chains. We will visualize the commonly-used term "best-of-breed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The capacity to iterate intra-super-cyber-compellingly leads to the capability to reintermediate micro-macro-seamlessly. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point) be able to streamline fiercely. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to repurpose iteravely leads to the power to drive proactively. Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? Do you have a plan to become impactful? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We have come to know that if you reintermediate super-micro-transparently then you may also utilize globally. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We often synthesize intuitive partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our capacity to redefine. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to actualize globally. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to reinvent wirelessly. Without schemas, you will lack systems. The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to strategize robustly.