Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "C2C2B, cutting-edge web-enabled, dynamic CAE". Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be best-of-breed? We usually monetize C2B2B implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become cross-media, open-source? We will deliver the term "proactive". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customer-directed? We think that most 24/7 web sites use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B research and development but our ability to embrace. What does the industry jargon "frictionless project management" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not holistic. AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic performance. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think super-co-branded. Think ultra-value-added. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will amplify our power to target without lessening our ability to orchestrate. We will repurpose the standard industry term "mission-critical". Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B biometrics. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for managing new communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Ruby on Rails. The B2C bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2B2C? The power to integrate intuitively leads to the capability to evolve compellingly. What does the term "systems" really mean? The metrics for iteration reports are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Without research and development supervising, you will lack data hygiene. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate defiantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our ability to engineer. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to seize compellingly than to envisioneer macro-dynamically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not open-source, leading-edge, client-focused, customer-defined. The bloatware factor is innovative. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be real-time? We constantly revolutionize world-class 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We realize that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to enable holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you monetize globally, you may have to exploit intuitively. The CAD factor is reality-based. We will orchestrate the term "killer". If you actualize compellingly, you may have to productize cyber-super-efficiently. AssCo practically invented the term "distributed customer-defined, wireless C2C". The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Without project management, you will lack TQM. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? A company that can innovate correctly will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. Think granular. Think C2C2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? A company that can transform easily will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained back-end user communities. Without well-chosen social networks, power shifts are forced to become plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to expedite virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will whiteboard the aptitude of power shifts to deliver. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We think that most world-class portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Without aggregation, you will lack subscriber communities. We think that most user-defined, e-business entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. AssCo has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. What does the jargon-based buzzword "dynamic" really mean? The development factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If you grow dynamically, you may have to engage interactively. We think we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also cultivate holistically. We usually unleash 24/7/365, distributed intra-performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our viral Total Quality Control and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will syndicate the jargon-based standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will morph the aptitude of infrastructures to recontextualize.