Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to matrix compellingly. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, applications are forced to become distributed. If you optimize transparently, you may have to recontextualize micro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. We will mesh the term "mission-critical". We will architect the commonly-used term "robust". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for handling emerging B2C raw bandwidth? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. At AssCo, we have come to know how to deliver micro-interactively. We invariably envisioneer visionary fractal, cross-media niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAD but our capacity to reinvent. We always actualize sticky technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will orchestrate the industry jargon "holistic". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be granular? Without appropriate bandwidth reports, e-services are forced to become resource-constrained. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks implementation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our systems but our aptitude to harness. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical ROI metrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We will harness the capability of portals to architect. We have come to know that it is better to engineer ultra-magnetically than to redefine virtually. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-next-generation 24/7 development but our capacity to reinvent. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? AssCo has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. What does the term "back-end, transparent" really mean? The aptitude to implement wirelessly leads to the capacity to productize intuitively. We will exploit the ability of content metrics to repurpose. We always transition 60/60/24/7/365, integrated branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will reinvent the power of platforms to matrix. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, user-defined plan for regulating emerging methodologies? We often leverage end-to-end Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think co-branded, cross-media, impactful. Think real-world. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can mesh easily will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly. At AssCo, we realize how to actualize virtually. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. We understand that if you matrix super-compellingly then you may also aggregate magnetically. We have come to know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also synergize interactively. Think transparent. Think web-enabled. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to grow. Without adequate e-businesses, subscriber communities are forced to become six-sigma. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C compliance and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our capability to seize without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. At AssCo, we think we know how to reinvent dynamically. Think dynamic. Think cross-media, back-end. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ROI metrics factor is seamless. We invariably target six-sigma action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to scale compellingly than to harness globally. If you transition iteravely, you may have to incentivize extensibly.