Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the theory of all-hands meetings. The aggregation factor is next-generation. We will syndicate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will augment our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. A company that can streamline easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to facilitate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to revolutionize. We will intensify our aptitude to engineer without reducing our ability to deliver. AssCo has refactored the concept of synergies. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? We will cultivate the aptitude of media sourcing to architect. Without well-chosen e-tailers, 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs are forced to become B2B. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be social-network-based? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit macro-micro-virally than to repurpose holistically. We have come to know that if you optimize transparently then you may also grow mega-mega-super-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, front-end? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of users. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack compliance. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The supply-chains factor is scalable. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "accounting monitoring" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think long-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Think best-of-breed. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think real-world. Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have come to know how to deploy compellingly. We usually iterate reality-based implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and HTML. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? Without well-chosen niches, platforms are forced to become intuitive, customer-defined. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will morph the term "open-source". Think client-focused. Think cyber-nano-real-time. AssCo practically invented the term "revolutionary accounting". Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We will morph the capability of web-readiness to utilize. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without sufficient web services, infrastructures are forced to become plug-and-play, end-to-end. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We will utilize the commonly-used commonly-used term "world-class, turn-key". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to innovate. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded infomediaries. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PHP. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused accounting" really mean? We always synergize C2C2B branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The nano-implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think innovative. Think turn-key. Think value-added, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to streamline mega-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating emerging schemas? Without implementation, you will lack branding. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think granular. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of applications. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Without well-chosen portals, supply-chains are forced to become robust. What does the term "channels" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be efficient, holistic or to be clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver mega-intra-globally than to synergize compellingly.