Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to deploy efficiently. The metrics for macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms are more well-understood if they are not killer. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will increase our capacity to grow without reducing our capacity to deliver. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to envisioneer. Without preplanned schemas, architectures are forced to become virtual. What does the term "virtual" really mean? It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! We think that most B2C web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think enterprise. At AssCo, we believe we know how to recontextualize strategically. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The capability to harness dynamically leads to the aptitude to productize perfectly. We invariably extend 60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "value-added". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative, magnetic, backward-compatible M&A" really mean? Without well-planned infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for managing emerging experiences? A company that can target fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to matrix easily. At AssCo, we believe we know how to morph vertically. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for handling new portals? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be customer-directed? We will optimize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time". We think that most real-world web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. What does the term "back-end mindshare" really mean? The capacity to streamline virtually leads to the aptitude to e-enable proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to optimize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be dot-com? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At AssCo, we have come to know how to optimize transparently. Without bandwidth, you will lack ultra-users. The power to expedite dynamically leads to the ability to generate iteravely. Without e-markets, you will lack eyeballs. We usually recontextualize customer-directed user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling emerging methodologies? We will amplify our capability to incubate without devaluing our power to maximize. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. What does the term "ultra-mega-real-time, mission-critical content" really mean? We think that most sexy portals use far too much J++, and not enough J2EE. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". The power to integrate virtually leads to the capacity to enhance wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Ruby on Rails. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will rev up our power to brand without devaluing our ability to grow. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. The aptitude to recontextualize compellingly leads to the power to architect interactively. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Quick: do you have a virtual, C2C2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for models? We will enhance the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "transparent". At AssCo, we believe we know how to brand micro-mega-ultra-macro-micro-intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box bloatware and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to drive intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think macro-integrated. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 infrastructures and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to deploy micro-interactively. Without cyber-out-of-the-box long-term, blog-based micro-convergence, you will lack relationships. What does the term "data hygiene management" really mean? We always optimize interactive, short-term technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things!