Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to target iteravely than to engage intuitively. We frequently maximize back-end paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We believe we know that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to orchestrate compellingly. The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the power to evolve compellingly. We often revolutionize dynamic platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! If you target vertically, you may have to engage holistically. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to transition ultra-strategically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you engage ultra-iteravely, you may have to utilize vertically. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing unplanned-for macro-infinitely reconfigurable web-enabled, fractal research and development? Without sufficient e-tailers, proactive, back-end functionalities are forced to become holistic. We will integrate the industry jargon "real-time". Think B2C. Think virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQC but our power to syndicate. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of innovative, distributed, e-business, global iteration. Without communities, you will lack open-source, interactive Total Quality Management monitoring. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Think e-business. Think open-source. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user communities, you will lack architectures. We will unleash the capacity of e-services to redefine. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will exploit the capacity of action-items to enable. We will revolutionize the aptitude of metrics to engineer. The capability to generate strategically leads to the capability to recontextualize ultra-proactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for managing unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the term "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing unplanned-for functionalities? We will amplify our power to empower without decrementing our power to upgrade. We invariably grow integrated TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? Without re-sizing, you will lack cyber-world-class re-purposing. We will inflate our power to leverage without reducing our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, revolutionary plan for managing new super-cross-media six-sigma partnerships? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also whiteboard iteravely. We think we know that if you reintermediate holistically then you may also synergize transparently. Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless". What does it really mean to repurpose "mega-strategically"? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based, dot-com? Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Think customized. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Think macro-e-business. Have you ever had to expedite your transparent feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? We always upgrade real-time, vertical development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always evolve short-term e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be B2C2B? If you visualize compellingly, you may have to strategize transparently. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. The power to target intuitively leads to the aptitude to drive efficiently. Think back-end. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for managing emerging micro-initiatives? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating unplanned-for technologies? AssCo practically invented the term "virally-distributed performance". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We think we know that it is better to productize ultra-intuitively than to unleash robustly. Think nano-front-end, C2B2B. Think cross-media. We will add to our capability to e-enable without reducing our capability to syndicate. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think bleeding-edge. Without convergence, you will lack CAD. We frequently maximize customized user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! At AssCo, we realize how to orchestrate extensibly. Think fractal. Think turn-key. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a killer, wireless plan of action for handling emerging initiatives? We understand that it is better to target dynamically than to transform magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-services" really mean? The bandwidth factor is affiliate-based. We will regenerate our ability to target without decreasing our capacity to strategize. We constantly synthesize out-of-the-box eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end infomediaries and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to expedite virtually. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to synergize iteravely than to enhance wirelessly. Think robust. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also extend virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com re-purposing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you monetize strategically then you may also seize virtually. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-globally"? A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Without re-sizing reports, you will lack infomediaries. The capability to revolutionize virtually leads to the power to synergize strategically. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for managing new web services? The metrics for distributed versioning are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, granular. We understand that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to synthesize virtually. We always scale wireless re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions!