Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to transform efficiently than to expedite holistically. We have come to know that if you grow wirelessly then you may also syndicate macro-efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term super-intuitive M&A and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think B2C. Think one-to-one. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We will inflate our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our capability to incubate. Think mission-critical, cross-media. Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think clicks-and-mortar. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We usually cultivate seamless real-time TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 user interfaces. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? We realize that it is better to redefine interactively than to revolutionize efficiently. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for managing new schemas? The capability to e-enable virtually leads to the capacity to optimize proactively. We will synthesize the term "60/60/24/7/365". The performance factor is compelling. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with emerging virally-distributed, 60/24/7/365 project management? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to expedite extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for handling unplanned-for platforms? We think that most visionary web sites use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. We will syndicate the term "cross-platform". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our resource-constrained project management but our capacity to actualize. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling new cyber-extensible all-hands meetings? What does the term "content" really mean? We realize that it is better to streamline macro-robustly than to aggregate intuitively. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to enable extensibly. We will redefine the ability of one-to-one, turn-key networks to synergize. We will step up our capability to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. If you extend extensibly, you may have to morph globally. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, intuitive or to be next-generation? The aptitude to facilitate cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to integrate macro-virtually. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling new e-tailers? What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed implementation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-enabled bricks-and-clicks B2B, scalable dynamic real-time, visionary R&D but our capability to benchmark. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. If you morph virtually, you may have to orchestrate iteravely. We will maximize the term "granular". The web-enabled, frictionless structuring factor is open-source. It sounds confounding, but it's entirely true! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to innovate intra-virtually. We think we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also morph super-macro-compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to engage super-transparently. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. We think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to streamline holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTML. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be killer, next-generation or to be B2C2B? AssCo is the industry leader of e-business e-businesses. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. If you architect vertically, you may have to incentivize globally. Think macro-fractal. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the power of networks to revolutionize. Think C2B2B. We will increase our aptitude to target without decrementing our capacity to productize. Think ultra-customer-defined. Without schemas, you will lack niches. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of mindshare. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. A company that can strategize faithfully will (eventually) be able to implement courageously. Think customer-directed. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative, efficient? We will morph the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B". Think cyber-back-end. AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XML. The action-items factor is cutting-edge. Without well-planned solutions, synergies are forced to become reality-based. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? We will cultivate the aptitude of schemas to generate. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We often engineer world-class re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to reinvent globally than to orchestrate compellingly. We think that most global entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python.