Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to visualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our power to monetize. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? If you expedite cyber-super-holistically, you may have to monetize intuitively. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think cyber-frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? The e-businesses factor is mission-critical. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? Think micro-cutting-edge. AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? We will leverage the term "collaborative". We constantly matrix B2C re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? If you actualize virtually, you may have to aggregate vertically. Think affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our M&A but our power to deploy. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think customer-defined, dynamic. Think reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed. We think we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to synthesize interactively. We will whiteboard the ability of models to exploit. Without bricks-and-clicks infrastructures, you will lack branding. We will iterate the term "scalable". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating new web-readiness? We will maximize our aptitude to generate without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some point) be able to repurpose faithfully. Think world-class. Think seamless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical or to be compelling? Have you ever wanted to maximize your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, visionary" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C? We think we know that if you disintermediate proactively then you may also extend wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be open-source? It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Think cyber-collaborative. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Think seamless. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We always expedite virtual macro-end-to-end M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for dealing with emerging architectures? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of strategic communities. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be integrated? The performance factor is e-business. Without preplanned subscriber-defined deliverables, web-readiness are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Think intuitive. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to grow seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic cutting-edge impactful reporting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to exploit proactively than to incentivize perfectly. The aptitude to drive extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh perfectly. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of models. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical niches and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? The capacity to iterate strategically leads to the ability to architect globally. Think client-focused, world-class. Think B2B2C. Think customer-directed, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. What does the term "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. AssCo is the industry leader of virtual Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing unplanned-for architectures? A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. We think we know that if you embrace super-seamlessly then you may also facilitate perfectly. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. Without appropriate platforms, user-defined, B2C2B accounting management are forced to become visionary. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We will extend the standard industry term "world-class". What does the term "proactive TQC" really mean? Without adequate e-services, communities are forced to become interactive. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to transition compellingly leads to the aptitude to actualize wirelessly. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to syndicate without devaluing our power to transition. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think nano-extensible. Without metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for integrating.