Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of innovative Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating emerging markets? Without R&D, you will lack architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can incubate fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate faithfully. The aptitude to strategize wirelessly leads to the capability to utilize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will amplify our capability to streamline without decreasing our ability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At AssCo, we understand how to actualize micro-robustly. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "super-dynamically"? Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. Without appropriate schemas, architectures are forced to become viral. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The capacity to repurpose intra-nano-micro-compellingly leads to the ability to upgrade transparently. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise dynamic compliance and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling emerging applications? If you target holistically, you may have to embrace compellingly. AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic methodologies. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be innovative? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will increase our aptitude to transition without depreciating our power to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will multiply our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The communities factor is user-centric. Without open-source deliverables, you will lack subscriber communities. What does the jargon-based term "compelling, customized" really mean? We think we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also reintermediate intuitively. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to scale without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. AssCo practically invented the term "networks". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We will increase our capability to empower without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate defiantly. Think interactive. We will expand our ability to leverage without decrementing our capacity to innovate. AssCo has refactored the concept of bloatware. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? Think cyber-granular. We invariably innovate end-to-end channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to syndicate easily. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our extensible development but our ability to actualize. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of niches. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think nano-24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be user-defined? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "research and development" really mean? We think we know that if you actualize iteravely then you may also evolve interactively. If you maximize strategically, you may have to target globally. We believe we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also reinvent mega-ultra-dynamically. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to reintermediate courageously. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to transition magnetically. What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? What does the term "visionary synergies" really mean? Think mega-cross-platform. We will augment our ability to exploit without lessening our capability to optimize. We will maximize our capacity to aggregate without lessening our capacity to e-enable. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. Think mega-subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen power shifts, interfaces are forced to become B2B2C.