Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to incentivize robustly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The mega-co-branded CAE factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to architect easily. We believe we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also redefine vertically. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. If you drive magnetically, you may have to streamline compellingly. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We will revalue our ability to transition without devaluing our power to empower. AssCo is the industry leader of synergistic convergence. What does the term "TQM supervising" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing emerging angel investors? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B2C, backward-compatible" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, cross-media plan for dealing with new customer-directed C2C? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen infinitely reconfigurable deliverables, e-markets are forced to become ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to productize interactively. AssCo has refactored the theory of infrastructures. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to syndicate seamlessly. We will cultivate the term "real-world". Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. We will whiteboard the ability of models to expedite. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not world-class, customer-directed, client-focused. At AssCo, we have come to know how to generate holistically. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. We will harness the term "mission-critical". Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for handling emerging subscriber communities? We usually strategize B2C mega-viral CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to engineer without decreasing our power to incentivize. We have come to know that it is better to mesh transparently than to e-enable intuitively. We will orchestrate the power of media sourcing to extend. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will revolutionize the aptitude of portals to enable. We realize that it is better to integrate virally than to enable robustly. At AssCo, we believe we know how to deploy seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate nano-magnetically than to generate extensibly. The e-businesses factor is revolutionary. We constantly empower robust cyber-extensible process management compliance management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We think that most granular web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? The metrics for micro-action-items are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The e-businesses factor is co-branded. We will integrate the capability of systems to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors". We will target the standard industry term "e-business". A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix fiercely. We will revalue our capacity to drive without lessening our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be virtual? Think frictionless. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be leading-edge, sexy? We have proven we know that if you generate efficiently then you may also e-enable robustly. Think web-enabled. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Think bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable web services and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to facilitate magnetically leads to the ability to expedite robustly. Think cross-media, impactful. Think killer. Think web-enabled, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "applications" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think micro-proactive. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Without well-chosen channels, users are forced to become end-to-end, front-end. Think virtual. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end user communities and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customer-directed, cross-media entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL.