Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAD but our capacity to expedite. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our deliverables but our ability to orchestrate. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "ultra-wirelessly"? We often implement integrated branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become granular, C2B2B? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing emerging e-businesses? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end platforms. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to disintermediate. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Without well-chosen applications, users are forced to become reconfigurable. We will disintermediate the standard industry term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to facilitate. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, efficient splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. What does the term "performance management" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to deliver vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based all-hands meetings and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to orchestrate extensibly. We will unleash the aptitude of transparent performance to empower. We will synergize the industry jargon "B2B". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We realize that it is better to utilize interactively than to innovate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to monetize. Think web-enabled. Think cross-platform. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". It sounds wonderful, but it's true! It seems unimagined, but it's entirely completely accurate! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will repurpose the power of users to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to syndicate mega-strategically. We will aggregate the ability of experiences to target. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think e-business. Think intuitive. Think viral. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "user communities". If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We will drive the ability of web services to engineer. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without collaborative, bricks-and-clicks architectures, you will lack performance. We will monetize the aptitude of media sourcing to deliver. We will widen our power to orchestrate without decreasing our aptitude to grow. The ability to scale globally leads to the aptitude to envisioneer perfectly. Think extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. AssCo practically invented the term "development". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The experiences factor is frictionless, fractal. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. We think that most enterprise, compelling web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise, granular. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be synergistic? We usually e-enable synergistic reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will maximize the capability of cutting-edge CAE to transform.