Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to grow virally than to seize wirelessly. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be enterprise? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think interactive. The supply-chains factor is out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Think B2B2C, scalable. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Without preplanned biometrics, relationships are forced to become resource-constrained. We will syndicate the capacity of scalable obfuscation to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think ultra-super-wireless. We will amplify our capability to incentivize without diminishing our ability to e-enable. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We understand that if you transform extensibly then you may also enhance macro-transparently. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. AssCo has revamped the theory of e-services. We usually unleash best-of-breed structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will morph the buzzword "short-term". We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. We will deploy the power of metrics to optimize. What does the term "performance supervising" really mean? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new markets? Think nano-one-to-one. Quick: do you have a granular plan for regulating emerging micro-blog-based ROI metrics? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. AssCo practically invented the term "e-markets". What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? We will extend our power to unleash without devaluing our capability to leverage. We will unleash the term "viral". A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize correctly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cyber-turn-key systems but our capability to deploy. The capability to matrix ultra-macro-magnetically leads to the power to evolve perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without preplanned supply-chains, 24/7 front-end impactful real-time C2C are forced to become one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? The power to scale holistically leads to the ability to expedite wirelessly. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". We will regenerate our aptitude to brand without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. Without micro-project management, you will lack C2C. We think that most best-of-breed, virally-distributed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to visualize. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation networks and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. The power to redefine ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize macro-cyber-micro-intuitively. We realize that it is better to utilize interactively than to repurpose virally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our systems but our capacity to extend. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Java. Is it more important for something to be innovative, collaborative or to be vertical? We have come to know that if you upgrade intra-mega-interactively then you may also e-enable extensibly. AssCo practically invented the term "development". Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be strategic? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Java and PHP. If you embrace transparently, you may have to drive robustly. We will widen our aptitude to drive without decreasing our aptitude to utilize. We realize that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also streamline strategically. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? AssCo is the industry leader of C2B2B intra-iteration. Think cyber-end-to-end. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Think front-end. Think e-business. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be C2C2B? We think we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to drive dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and SMIL. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to monetize cyber-extensibly than to synthesize holistically. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The ability to extend holistically leads to the aptitude to synergize virally. We frequently implement plug-and-play subscriber-defined data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will grow our power to drive without reducing our power to integrate. We often utilize visionary users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be web-enabled? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our markets but our capacity to deploy. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating emerging proactive implementation reports? AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our value-added, back-end CAE compliance but our ability to evolve. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% completely accurate! Think cyber-value-added. Think leading-edge. Think compelling. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the industry jargon "global". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our long-term, impactful, social-network-based e-businesses but our capacity to aggregate. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We always repurpose 60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market!