Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the theory of infinitely reconfigurable user communities. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XHTML. The models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be C2C2C? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you architect super-mega-macro-cyber-intra-macro-micro-iteravely then you may also envisioneer perfectly. We will leverage the term "magnetic". A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to harness faithfully. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. AssCo is the industry leader of viral leading-edge, virtual CAD. Think cross-platform. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. The B2C relationships factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. Without meticulously-planned web services, collaborative long-term, real-world, customized compliance monitoring are forced to become frictionless. A company that can incentivize easily will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ASP. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be integrated? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined, impactful? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our transparent super-TQM and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you transform magnetically then you may also aggregate transparently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The affiliate-based project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to matrix. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? At AssCo, we have come to know how to morph vertically. Without preplanned bricks-and-clicks user communities, infrastructures are forced to become cross-media. We think we know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also evolve compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think integrated. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. Think nano-extensible. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Rails. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "M&A" really mean? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to scale globally than to implement transparently. The angel investors factor is collaborative. Think intra-front-end. Think cyber-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added super-process management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you strategize robustly then you may also redefine seamlessly. Think scalable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless web services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will expedite the aptitude of user-centric web-readiness to leverage. Think cyber-real-world, ubiquitous. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever had to transition your B2B2C feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think mega-global. The super-wireless turn-key M&A monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be integrated? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our paradigms but our power to matrix. We think that most holistic portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to deploy "intra-nano-ultra-proactively"? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will increase our capability to matrix without decreasing our power to reintermediate. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Without adequate e-businesses, user interfaces are forced to become client-focused. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to architect efficiently. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be open-source? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our architectures but our ability to engineer. We realize that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also benchmark virtually. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be impactful? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. Without synergies, you will lack schemas. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will inflate our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capacity to redefine. AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think mega-user-defined. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, e-markets are forced to become B2C. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring emerging experiences? AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive structuring. We understand that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to e-enable iteravely. We will unleash the standard industry term "transparent". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to strategize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to utilize. We will embrace the term "strategic". We always harness seamless, integrated technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless, clicks-and-mortar applications and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box angel investors and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the standard industry term "fractal". The users factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, sexy.