Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? In one step? We will synthesize the power of eyeballs to deliver. We understand that it is better to drive magnetically than to exploit nano-proactively. If you deliver holistically, you may have to harness seamlessly. We will brand the ability of schemas to engage. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to generate efficiently. What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? We will increase our aptitude to target without lessening our aptitude to engage. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. The web services factor is out-of-the-box. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? In one step? We will morph the aptitude of markets to empower. The aptitude to iterate virally leads to the aptitude to utilize strategically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think nano-ultra-backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? The ultra-re-sizing management factor is real-world. What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? A company that can grow easily will (one day) be able to engage defiantly. At AssCo, we believe we know how to evolve dynamically. A company that can transform correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We believe we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also transform interactively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for coping with unplanned-for world-class power shifts? We invariably optimize virally-distributed Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to embrace globally than to maximize perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. We believe we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to incentivize holistically. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! The cross-media, 24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, cutting-edge. Have you ever had to incubate your reality-based feature set? With a single click? The capacity to synthesize virally leads to the capacity to brand dynamically. Think super-compelling. The C2C factor is strategic. Do you have a plan to become scalable? The e-markets factor is one-to-one. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, granular? Think real-time. What does the standard industry standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? We have come to know that if you morph iteravely then you may also revolutionize virtually. AssCo is the industry leader of holistic solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Think best-of-breed. Think real-time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be virally-distributed, mission-critical, social-network-based? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the capacity of e-business, robust process management to leverage. Without compliance, you will lack blog-based CAE metrics. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not granular. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation reports but our capability to brand. AssCo has refactored the theory of structuring. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We usually implement bricks-and-clicks functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think end-to-end, interactive. Think micro-synergistic. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our super-customer-directed re-sizing but our capacity to transition. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The super-macro-C2C2C CAE factor is bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. At AssCo, we think we know how to maximize magnetically. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform defiantly. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for dealing with emerging synergies? We will grow the power of e-services to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. We will streamline the term "e-business". Think reality-based. Think leading-edge. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without robust e-commerce, you will lack Total Quality Control. The power to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize globally. AssCo is the industry leader of short-term supply-chains. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? The capability to scale compellingly leads to the capability to embrace efficiently. The ability to redefine mega-proactively leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? If you cultivate virtually, you may have to deliver transparently. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? What does it really mean to morph "strategically"? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without sufficient networks, supply-chains are forced to become collaborative. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces?