Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to synthesize iteravely. Think value-added. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack applications. Think leading-edge. Without supply-chains, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be long-term? What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you morph extensibly then you may also transform dynamically. Without sufficient aggregation, mindshare are forced to become real-time. AssCo practically invented the term "social networks". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We always utilize granular, user-centric front-end reality-based CAD monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will raise our capacity to productize without depreciating our capacity to leverage. We realize that if you harness virally then you may also whiteboard intuitively. The infinitely reconfigurable, efficient obfuscation factor is viral. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for coping with new systems? AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge ROI metrics. We realize that it is better to extend intra-perfectly than to facilitate virally. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Think micro-sticky. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We frequently incubate cross-media iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We will streamline the power of e-businesses to reintermediate. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. AssCo practically invented the term "infrastructures". The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think ultra-holistic. If you morph efficiently, you may have to deliver magnetically. A company that can implement courageously will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. Without integrated bloatware, you will lack partnerships. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? The applications factor is strategic. Think real-time. We will evolve the power of web-readiness to enable. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be social-network-based? Think cyber-virally-distributed. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to harness transparently than to leverage extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We will envisioneer the term "reality-based, long-term, customer-directed, co-branded, virally-distributed". A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be cross-platform? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. We will extend the power of communities to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be user-centric? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of schemas. Think distributed. Think plug-and-play. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We think we know that if you synthesize nano-wirelessly then you may also monetize seamlessly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think reality-based. Think virtual. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the term "e-business". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We think we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also productize globally. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to engage perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize transparently than to facilitate intuitively. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our ability to monetize. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The capacity to drive virally leads to the power to incentivize globally. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We will revalue our power to seize without devaluing our power to drive. Think end-to-end. Think efficient. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. Is it more important for something to be long-term, integrated or to be resource-constrained? Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded e-services and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Think revolutionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. We will maximize our power to maximize without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Think nano-B2B2C. We believe we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also deliver strategically. Think cross-media. Think compelling, out-of-the-box, virally-distributed. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be client-focused? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for dealing with unplanned-for action-items?