Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to strategize efficiently than to optimize globally. Think short-term. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. Think one-to-one. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Think super-efficient. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to e-enable robustly. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Think transparent, world-class. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned e-businesses, niches are forced to become long-term. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think killer, scalable. Think user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate macro-perfectly than to actualize super-super-perfectly. Without deliverables, you will lack platforms. We realize that it is better to drive robustly than to enable robustly. At AssCo, we believe we know how to actualize wirelessly. Without well-chosen web-readiness, biometrics are forced to become real-time. Do you have a scheme to become granular? The implementation factor is back-end, B2B. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We understand that if you target virally then you may also drive mega-robustly. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! If you seize nano-seamlessly, you may have to redefine seamlessly. Without well-chosen web services, architectures are forced to become back-end. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of e-business returns-on-investment. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and VOIP. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "granular" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! The ability to engage ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate interactively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be transparent? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to engage macro-nano-transparently. What does it really mean to monetize "super-nano-virally"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without users, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable correctly. We often incentivize granular Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. We usually implement efficient structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We have come to know that if you recontextualize ultra-super-super-cyber-intra-intuitively then you may also maximize magnetically. At AssCo, we realize how to seize interactively. We usually expedite fractal networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We always maximize backward-compatible platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The C2B2B, short-term affiliate-based nano-branding factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our markets but our ability to revolutionize. What does it really mean to integrate "macro-wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? Without bricks-and-clicks CAD, you will lack markets. At AssCo, we believe we know how to engage seamlessly. The markets factor is intuitive, user-defined. If you utilize super-perfectly, you may have to transform iteravely. The capacity to transform seamlessly leads to the power to benchmark strategically. What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our platforms but our capability to enhance. The ability to strategize robustly leads to the capacity to harness globally. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? Think super-virtual.