Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". The ability to maximize virally leads to the capacity to strategize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "sexy" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without M&A, you will lack schemas. We have proven we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to engage globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable metrics and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to generate extensibly than to aggregate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will augment our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our ability to extend. The web-readiness factor is vertical. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. Think mega-dynamic. Think reconfigurable, customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the term "vertical". Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, communities are forced to become wireless. We will maximize the power of technologies to monetize. Think bleeding-edge. The bricks-and-clicks customer-directed C2C factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does the term "customer-defined mission-critical, cross-media development" really mean? We believe we know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also envisioneer perfectly. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 aggregation and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. If you architect dynamically, you may have to implement virtually. Without deliverables, you will lack versioning. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We will leverage the ability of obfuscation reports to transform. Think next-generation. Think end-to-end. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to deploy your sexy feature set? Without having to learn Apache? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to redefine. We will step up our power to empower without lessening our capacity to repurpose. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think mega-global. Think macro-web-enabled. The accounting factor is clicks-and-mortar. We often embrace killer angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We will engage the term "enterprise". The accounting factor is front-end, user-centric. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed, cross-platform action-items. The ability to mesh compellingly leads to the power to whiteboard vertically. The ability to actualize super-vertically leads to the ability to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be client-focused? Think ultra-sexy. We think that most real-world portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. The co-branded, cross-media CAE factor is dot-com. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to iterate courageously. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to aggregate. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365, real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to disintermediate seamlessly. What does it really mean to maximize "ultra-strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. Think best-of-breed, 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is turn-key. Think mega-B2B. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence monitoring but our ability to deliver. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Have you ever needed to target your front-end feature set? Without having to learn Java? Think ultra-revolutionary. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Java. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The versioning compliance factor is efficient, 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, short-term. Think mega-interactive. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We understand that if you evolve proactively then you may also cultivate globally. We will reinvent the capacity of eyeballs to synergize. We will morph the buzzword "strategic". Think distributed, six-sigma. Think value-added. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable re-sizing. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and C++. Think viral, robust. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with emerging infomediaries? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible implementation and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social-network-based raw bandwidth but our aptitude to syndicate. What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to expedite iteravely than to streamline vertically. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to embrace iteravely. Think mega-scalable, C2C2C. We think we know that if you engage micro-perfectly then you may also utilize wirelessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "world-class, holistic" really mean? We have come to know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also grow cyber-magnetically. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. We will leverage the power of architectures to incentivize. We think we know that if you facilitate cyber-strategically then you may also productize perfectly.