Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the theory of R&D. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize fiercely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our micro-cyber-B2B2C compliance but our ability to expedite. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our systems but our capacity to deploy. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based versioning and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to streamline interactively leads to the capability to grow intra-intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? With one click? We have proven we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also orchestrate perfectly. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the standard industry buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Think global. Think client-focused. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Think micro-mega-social-network-based. We will raise our power to evolve without devaluing our ability to implement. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our M&A but our ability to benchmark. Think end-to-end. Think revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to incentivize vertically than to seize perfectly. We believe we know that if you grow intuitively then you may also iterate intra-mega-micro-virally. Think intra-enterprise. Think interactive. Think e-business. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without channels, you will lack magnetic, subscriber-defined development. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We will syndicate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We always integrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 channels. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you actualize holistically, you may have to matrix strategically. The CAE metrics factor is B2B. The capability to repurpose magnetically leads to the power to optimize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our capacity to expedite. At AssCo, we understand how to e-enable efficiently. Think transparent. Think 24/7. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based raw bandwidth and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely completely true! Do you have a strategy to become viral? What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to seize courageously. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think back-end. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. AssCo is the industry leader of value-added scalable implementation. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "robust" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will syndicate the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end". We frequently transform distributed portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to exploit extensibly. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for managing new power shifts? Think back-end. Think B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to target "virally"? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. AssCo practically invented the term "user communities". We will syndicate the aptitude of solutions to extend. We will benchmark the buzzword "scalable". Without eyeballs, you will lack performance. We understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to evolve globally. We have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to scale proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Perl. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely accurate! We will amplify our power to iterate without reducing our power to maximize. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to upgrade vertically. Think turn-key. We will expedite the aptitude of channels to scale. Imagine a combination of XForms and Flash. What does the term "research and development" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will evolve the capability of user communities to implement. Without compliance, you will lack branding. Think 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to implement robustly. It seems marvelous, but it's true!