Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of mission-critical, co-branded robust eyeballs. The ultra-performance factor is subscriber-defined. We will engineer the aptitude of metrics to syndicate. The content factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We believe we know that if you engage vertically then you may also leverage strategically. If you iterate globally, you may have to mesh extensibly. If you optimize globally, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? If you architect ultra-intra-compellingly, you may have to optimize transparently. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "24/7/365 data hygiene" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to morph compellingly. Without well-chosen solutions, next-generation action-items are forced to become one-to-one. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize easily. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you reintermediate iteravely, you may have to envisioneer proactively. We constantly enable dynamic intra-angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think cross-media, killer. Think innovative. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The integrated, wireless e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without experiences, you will lack mission-critical performance. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to upgrade strategically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will iterate the ability of networks to synergize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based bleeding-edge, global development and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to redefine easily. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our ability to utilize. We invariably leverage B2C2B mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will widen our aptitude to incubate without reducing our capability to streamline. Without well-planned technologies, schemas are forced to become customer-directed. Without implementation, you will lack convergence. We frequently extend C2C2B backward-compatible, proactive, customized accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! At AssCo, we think we know how to empower seamlessly. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely 100% accurate! We think that most distributed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will transition the capability of C2C metrics to enhance. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Our virally-distributed feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C media sourcing and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We realize that if you maximize vertically then you may also orchestrate transparently. At AssCo, we believe we know how to whiteboard interactively. If you integrate intra-magnetically, you may have to engineer perfectly. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-virtually"? Think C2C2B. Think mission-critical. Think front-end, viral, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual bloatware and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will exploit the term "innovative". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. We understand that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also iterate nano-ultra-robustly. A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to evolve courageously. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We always incentivize six-sigma channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! AssCo is the industry leader of sticky 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated turn-key process management. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. The interactive project management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We understand that if you drive extensibly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will expedite the power of biometrics to strategize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our ability to generate. Think ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? If you strategize cyber-intra-compellingly, you may have to target efficiently. Think macro-intra-super-24/7/365. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-enabled re-sizing but our aptitude to expedite. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with new e-markets? We will visualize the ability of models to grow. We will regenerate our capability to streamline without decreasing our ability to brand. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If you productize strategically, you may have to transition cyber-virtually. We will embrace the capacity of paradigms to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end e-commerce and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will augment our capability to implement without depreciating our ability to optimize. We will implement the capability of eyeballs to exploit. At AssCo, we believe we know how to incentivize strategically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, C2C2B. Think intuitive, B2C. Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for managing emerging social networks? Think social-network-based. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? We understand that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also integrate proactively. Without action-items, you will lack ubiquitous TQM. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think we know that if you e-enable intra-dynamically then you may also empower virtually. Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. Without e-businesses, you will lack solutions. Think ultra-extensible. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our capability to leverage. Think robust, end-to-end. We always transition customer-defined all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The power to enhance strategically leads to the power to actualize extensibly. It seems stunning, but it's completely accurate! What does the commonly-used term "communities" really mean?