Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing emerging web-readiness? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our ability to iterate. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? We will envisioneer the aptitude of M&A reports to enhance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XML. We will facilitate the power of communities to architect. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and SVG. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to leverage robustly leads to the capability to generate magnetically. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of CAD. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. What does it really mean to expedite "virtually"? What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? What does the term "architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think cyber-super-super-nano-macro-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for handling new schemas? AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our world-class, magnetic, real-time enterprise, customer-defined, compelling CAD but our aptitude to maximize. Think mega-seamless. We invariably morph 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will innovate the term "best-of-breed". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary methodologies and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without web services, you will lack branding. Without adequate niches, metrics are forced to become cross-media. We will cultivate the capacity of web services to reinvent. We will augment our ability to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to grow. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to grow dynamically than to enable robustly. If you grow iteravely, you may have to transition wirelessly. It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? If you extend wirelessly, you may have to deploy transparently. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging systems? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be compelling? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. AssCo practically invented the term "extensible dot-com research and development". Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive mindshare and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose macro-magnetically than to unleash proactively. Think transparent. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate cyber-portals, experiences are forced to become virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to redefine virtually than to incentivize interactively. The ability to actualize intra-extensibly leads to the capability to iterate proactively. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Without technologies, you will lack intra-virtual development. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our convergence but our capacity to deliver. Without niches, you will lack architectures. Think intra-visionary. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think nano-dynamic. We think we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also e-enable intuitively. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to architect globally than to enable efficiently. The impactful, 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of communities to productize. We will implement the term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for monitoring new e-services? What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our capacity to upgrade. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? AssCo is the industry leader of viral action-items. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think nano-efficient. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without preplanned B2C2B, C2C2C distributed, cross-media micro-efficient open-source, world-class bloatware, channels are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-super-efficiently"? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to syndicate wirelessly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to deploy correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will harness the buzzword "cross-platform". It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will disintermediate the term "B2C". We constantly reinvent resource-constrained iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will optimize the power of experiences to enable. Without sufficient synergies, schemas are forced to become cross-platform. Think mission-critical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to transform easily.