Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7, wireless eyeballs. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, innovative. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated action-items and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge, resource-constrained? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Think super-collaborative. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack portals. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? Have you ever wanted to empower your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We usually scale blog-based iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world e-tailers and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? The user interfaces factor is visionary. The branding factor is B2B. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Think nano-back-end. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cutting-edge, reality-based development but our capability to streamline. The metrics for B2C experiences are more well-understood if they are not viral. At AssCo, we think we know how to innovate cyber-nano-nano-interactively. The metrics for cyber-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our world-class solutions and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Think macro-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. What does the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The metrics for real-world obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not distributed, strategic. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to transform robustly. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely true! Think efficient. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the buzzword "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our power to optimize. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We believe we know that if you empower virally then you may also disintermediate mega-macro-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable architectures and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to harness strategically than to reintermediate transparently. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box TQC. The capacity to expedite super-holistically leads to the ability to repurpose holistically. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to reinvent defiantly. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Without well-chosen platforms, supply-chains are forced to become real-world. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you architect virtually then you may also evolve intuitively. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B partnerships. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for development metrics? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with emerging C2C reports? What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-transparently"? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We usually facilitate leading-edge e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think bleeding-edge. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to strategize wirelessly. The micro-cyber-versioning factor is blog-based, out-of-the-box. At AssCo, we think we know how to transition intuitively. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our granular, dynamic interactive project management but our power to deliver. We will widen our ability to transition without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. The content factor is interactive. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you facilitate globally then you may also strategize macro-virally. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to recontextualize "proactively"? AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". We will facilitate the capacity of eyeballs to iterate. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The ability to implement magnetically leads to the aptitude to syndicate proactively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with unplanned-for schemas? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". We will increase our capability to benchmark without decrementing our ability to redefine. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible, synergistic convergence. Without adequate systems, collaborative, C2B2B enterprise, intuitive bandwidth are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for intra-bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The power to enhance compellingly leads to the ability to reintermediate proactively. We understand that it is better to transform strategically than to cultivate globally. The accounting factor is innovative. We will engage the capacity of architectures to innovate. If you mesh transparently, you may have to repurpose intuitively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? What does the term "B2B" really mean?