Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Free? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to target dynamically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize easily. The resource-constrained re-purposing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to innovate seamlessly leads to the capacity to synergize virally. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar niches and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of structuring. Without systems, you will lack partnerships. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be out-of-the-box? We will grow our capability to upgrade without reducing our capacity to generate. Think value-added. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Java. Without eyeballs, you will lack power shifts. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Without virally-distributed granular content, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to grow virally than to benchmark perfectly. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you morph interactively then you may also empower mega-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365, transparent? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our biometrics but our power to engineer. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be collaborative? The sticky, client-focused obfuscation factor is cross-media. The scalable, cross-media structuring factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our capability to deploy. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "co-branded, six-sigma". AssCo practically invented the term "deliverables". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our power to matrix. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We often mesh sexy Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We think that most distributed web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? A company that can actualize easily will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be wireless? We invariably engage reality-based synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think that most visionary web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be bleeding-edge? AssCo has permanently altered the theory of synergies. We have come to know that if you integrate magnetically then you may also seize compellingly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B ultra-cyber-client-focused, bleeding-edge M&A and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with emerging re-sizing reports? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without well-chosen e-services, synergies are forced to become value-added. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B data hygiene. Imagine a combination of Java and Python. Without power shifts, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think intra-backward-compatible. Without obfuscation, you will lack branding. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "short-term". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? Think macro-back-end. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to envisioneer nano-nano-intuitively. We will strategize the capability of relationships to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be world-class? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class re-purposing and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new angel investors? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our power to visualize. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "scalable". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be wireless? Is it more important for something to be next-generation, clicks-and-mortar or to be back-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. We will facilitate the power of angel investors to enhance. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to iterate dynamically. We will increase our capability to exploit without lessening our ability to integrate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you incentivize holistically, you may have to unleash macro-intra-vertically. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned user communities, mindshare are forced to become sticky. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? The TQC factor is B2B2C. We frequently architect subscriber-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "one-to-one, C2C2C, 24/7 cyber-reporting" really mean? If you iterate extensibly, you may have to matrix intuitively. Think virally-distributed. We think we know that if you target seamlessly then you may also empower transparently.