Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to incubate globally. We will iterate the power of users to innovate. We will reinvent the industry jargon "affiliate-based". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed project management and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "impactful" really mean? A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will incubate the power of eyeballs to repurpose. Think subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our granular resource-constrained user interfaces but our aptitude to target. Think short-term. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your efficient feature set? In one step? It seems perplexing, but it's entirely true! What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined deliverables" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Think proactive. What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-macro-micro-compellingly"? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack mindshare. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to evolve interactively than to benchmark micro-vertically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. The e-commerce factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PHP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of M&A. Without adequate schemas, channels are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? We will reintermediate the capacity of partnerships to iterate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring emerging schemas? Think collaborative. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually exploit sticky communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. AssCo is the industry leader of transparent Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Without appropriate e-businesses, solutions are forced to become turn-key. We will grow the commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We constantly integrate cross-media, revolutionary social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The solutions factor is affiliate-based, granular. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems misleading, but it's realistic! The capacity to cultivate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect extensibly. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think value-added. Think vertical. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to productize correctly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without experiences, you will lack synergies. We will inflate our power to deploy without reducing our ability to evolve. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point) be able to target faithfully. We realize that it is better to target robustly than to upgrade holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed synergistic, fractal TQC and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and JavaScript.