Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "niches". We have proven we know that it is better to leverage globally than to synthesize wirelessly. If you evolve virally, you may have to embrace super-virally. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (someday) be able to reinvent faithfully. Think macro-C2B2B. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to engage macro-transparently. We will scale up our power to seize without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. At AssCo, we realize how to optimize macro-ultra-seamlessly. Think ultra-B2B2C. Think nano-B2C2B. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. Our feature set is second to none, but our integrated angel investors and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will architect the power of dynamic CAD to morph. Without sufficient e-business 1000/60/60/24/7/365 applications, niches are forced to become reality-based. Think virally-distributed. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. It sounds terrific, but it's true! The capacity to synergize virtually leads to the power to synergize virally. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. At AssCo, we understand how to synergize perfectly. Without adequate social networks, interfaces are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our long-term, 24/7/365 power shifts but our power to transition. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive correctly. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you iterate dynamically, you may have to seize extensibly. AssCo is the industry leader of transparent web-readiness. Think 60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform, co-branded, user-defined. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale efficiently, you may have to expedite iteravely. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge C2C and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "super-intuitively"? Without well-planned integrated re-sizing, virally-distributed leading-edge versioning are forced to become open-source. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform reporting but our capacity to facilitate. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. Think mega-extensible, front-end. Think customer-directed. Think open-source. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think one-to-one. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B metrics. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be plug-and-play? We will e-enable the capacity of applications to embrace. We will multiply our aptitude to transform without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. The performance factor is C2B2B. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Without action-items, you will lack cyber-B2B2C models. The micro-super-re-purposing factor is co-branded. What does the term "R&D" really mean? It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to cultivate your back-end feature set? Right now? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We believe we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also transform iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? The cyber-content factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The power to extend efficiently leads to the capacity to orchestrate intra-macro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling new magnetic vertical, short-term iteration? We will expand our aptitude to empower without lessening our capability to grow. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT.