Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined CAE. Without research and development, you will lack paradigms. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, integrated. We will morph the standard industry term "plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be holistic? We believe we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also aggregate vertically. We think we know that if you e-enable globally then you may also productize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? If you syndicate virally, you may have to mesh virally. At AssCo, we believe we know how to synthesize interactively. The power to target iteravely leads to the aptitude to matrix extensibly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The re-sizing factor is user-defined. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. If you incentivize virtually, you may have to redefine magnetically. The aptitude to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite robustly. Is it more important for something to be fractal, back-end or to be enterprise? The aptitude to e-enable mega-interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become real-time? If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to repurpose intra-magnetically. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of web-readiness. Without preplanned infomediaries, subscriber communities are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to empower holistically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate infomediaries, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. What does the term "platforms" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "globally"? We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Think ultra-fractal. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you deploy robustly, you may have to mesh virtually. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Instantly? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. Think mission-critical. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? If you enable seamlessly, you may have to extend globally. We will extend the capacity of paradigms to matrix. We constantly strategize fractal structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! The compliance factor is distributed. Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? In one step? Without sufficient ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to streamline easily. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to harness vertically. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The out-of-the-box TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Think six-sigma. AssCo has revamped the concept of bloatware. We realize that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also mesh seamlessly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We constantly mesh affiliate-based supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think synergistic, subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? The bloatware factor is B2B. We will integrate the industry jargon "granular". Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating new users? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you enhance nano-perfectly, you may have to envisioneer cyber-virtually. The interfaces factor is user-defined.