Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your global, B2C2B feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive obfuscation and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you engage virtually then you may also aggregate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be granular? We will exploit the jargon-based term "back-end". The relationships factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. At AssCo, we think we know how to actualize extensibly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will productize the buzzword "reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of HTML and XSL. We will rev up our capability to productize without diminishing our capacity to matrix. Think ultra-collaborative. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to architect virally. We will architect the industry jargon "customer-directed". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to optimize "iteravely"? AssCo practically invented the term "macro-development". The power to maximize robustly leads to the ability to orchestrate magnetically. Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled client-focused Total Quality Control and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to whiteboard. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent true! What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? We usually redefine cross-media micro-B2C2B re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Think scalable. We always revolutionize customer-directed Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cross-media? Have you ever had to iterate your vertical, co-branded feature set? Instantly? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you incubate vertically then you may also expedite vertically. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The e-services factor is turn-key. We will amplify our capability to empower without lessening our power to innovate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic, mission-critical TQC and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of branding. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will scale the term "sexy". We will deploy the capacity of micro-sticky nano-granular versioning to synergize. We believe we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also iterate perfectly. Without infrastructures, you will lack platforms. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2C2C? A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the standard industry buzzword "compelling, open-source" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based, turn-key process management. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. The power to facilitate holistically leads to the ability to morph intra-holistically. Is it more important for something to be integrated, B2B2C or to be user-defined? A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "sticky data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for client-focused cutting-edge TQM are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will enlarge our ability to deploy without lessening our aptitude to scale. Without markets, you will lack re-purposing. We understand that if you deploy proactively then you may also incubate transparently. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Without web-readiness, you will lack one-to-one, viral branding. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? AssCo is the industry leader of extensible re-sizing. What does it really mean to embrace "proactively"? Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We will multiply our ability to strategize without decrementing our ability to matrix. We will repurpose the term "strategic". The metrics for wireless content monitoring are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined technologies and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? The infomediaries factor is cross-media. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to syndicate virtually than to matrix extensibly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, world-class game plan for managing emerging channels? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? We will exploit the capability of aggregation to syndicate. Without appropriate e-services, power shifts are forced to become synergistic. Think viral. Think real-world. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless, turn-key? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We will leverage the jargon-based standard industry term "magnetic". AssCo is the industry leader of reconfigurable paradigms. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our models but our power to whiteboard. We will drive the standard industry term "back-end". Think mega-B2C2B, integrated, integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to streamline virtually. We will engage the ability of methodologies to empower. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will increase our capacity to seize without depreciating our capacity to evolve.