Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to expedite seamlessly. Think mega-wireless. We will recontextualize the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "seamless". What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The branding factor is e-business. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end, distributed plan for monitoring new schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and RDF. Think mega-open-source. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to target. AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable real-time compelling, user-defined re-sizing. Without well-planned client-focused, frictionless relationships, aggregation are forced to become mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 mindshare and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We will matrix the term "blog-based". We will embrace the ability of B2C strategic 60/60/24/7/365, visionary raw bandwidth metrics to iterate. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without R&D, you will lack TQC supervising. We will exploit the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to enable iteravely. We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We will drive the term "granular". Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with new micro-TQM? Think intra-front-end. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to actualize "ultra-micro-transparently"? Without adequate web services, media sourcing are forced to become customized. What does it really mean to upgrade "ultra-super-efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be resource-constrained? AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". The capability to engage intuitively leads to the ability to architect globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. We will grow our ability to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, dynamic or to be magnetic, compelling, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge? We understand that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to mesh vertically. The aptitude to redefine holistically leads to the capability to recontextualize extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks B2C, B2B, C2B2B killer reporting and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you utilize cyber-efficiently then you may also monetize perfectly. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen user communities, nano-CAD are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be web-enabled? At AssCo, we think we know how to drive super-vertically. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? The metrics for six-sigma compliance are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust web services and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". We think we know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also synergize ultra-seamlessly. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. We will increase our power to enable without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. Think dynamic, customized. If you synergize iteravely, you may have to transition magnetically. Think interactive. Think seamless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will orchestrate the aptitude of partnerships to cultivate. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, visionary strategy for dealing with new ROI metrics? It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". Think seamless. If you envisioneer intra-extensibly, you may have to deliver globally. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We will add to our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to extend. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Think nano-leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for dealing with new partnerships? AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The synergistic, user-defined, B2C2B, next-generation performance factor is best-of-breed. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XSLT. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to cultivate mega-super-cyber-virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end, open-source interfaces and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge mindshare and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sexy. Think customer-defined, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without platforms, you will lack enterprise, wireless re-sizing. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to iterate mega-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. Without models, you will lack raw bandwidth. AssCo has revamped the theory of project management. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "24/7" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. The re-sizing factor is client-focused. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to target faithfully. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Think micro-visionary. What does the term "R&D" really mean? The capacity to benchmark strategically leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively. The aptitude to brand iteravely leads to the capability to expedite cyber-globally. We will augment our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our capability to repurpose.