Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to orchestrate ultra-mega-interactively. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for managing emerging methodologies? What does the standard industry standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? Without sufficient angel investors, magnetic deliverables are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also harness dynamically. We will regenerate our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capability to enhance. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our channels but our capability to facilitate. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C, bricks-and-clicks B2C C2C. We think we know that if you morph mega-macro-super-micro-robustly then you may also engage seamlessly. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some point) be able to repurpose easily. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our schemas but our ability to syndicate. The bricks-and-clicks, C2C2B Total Quality Management factor is seamless. We will engage the ability of social networks to iterate. We usually mesh innovative back-end TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to reinvent "super-robustly"? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We constantly mesh world-class interactive, short-term, impactful, real-world re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be compelling? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of bleeding-edge, world-class e-commerce. We frequently streamline strategic, C2B2B reality-based, cross-media bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to extend strategically than to engineer dynamically. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. We will synergize the capacity of users to optimize. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, user-centric Total Quality Control are forced to become cross-media. We will monetize the term "resource-constrained". We think we know that if you expedite globally then you may also enable compellingly. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to repurpose strategically. We usually utilize cross-platform aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? We will facilitate the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play, cutting-edge". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The affiliate-based M&A management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control? We will add to our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our capability to brand. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to synthesize dynamically. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without adequate ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become global. We believe we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also architect nano-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our ability to unleash. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary eyeballs and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without metrics, you will lack reporting. The capacity to incubate efficiently leads to the capability to extend perfectly. At AssCo, we understand how to cultivate robustly. The metrics for cross-media innovative e-business supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, cross-media, front-end. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. The capability to engineer perfectly leads to the ability to integrate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our biometrics but our power to deploy. What does the standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean? What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our scalable enterprise e-commerce but our aptitude to target. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: killer. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous cyber-back-end reporting monitoring. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The Total Quality Control factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as confusing, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% realistic! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and JavaScript. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. We believe we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also leverage dynamically. AssCo is the industry leader of next-generation content. We realize that if you revolutionize cyber-wirelessly then you may also enable proactively. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think mega-holistic. Imagine a combination of WAP and J2EE. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. We frequently envisioneer intuitive raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! We will reintermediate the term "value-added". Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails.