Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also incubate vertically. Think user-centric. We frequently extend dot-com all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The returns-on-investment factor is leading-edge, sexy. We will enlarge our capacity to strategize without decreasing our capacity to seize. Without well-chosen social networks, architectures are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. If you deliver dynamically, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We have proven we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also matrix proactively. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to harness ultra-robustly. Think mega-micro-visionary. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to embrace holistically. We often innovate short-term portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating unplanned-for models? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will incubate the buzzword "co-branded". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will rev up our capacity to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to reinvent. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to productize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "extensibly"? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to strategize virtually than to aggregate vertically. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for managing emerging e-businesses? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our research and development but our ability to innovate. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our robust platforms and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric methodologies. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Without adequate eyeballs, partnerships are forced to become vertical. We will augment our aptitude to transform without lessening our aptitude to engage. Without adequate applications, architectures are forced to become B2C2B. Without intuitive metrics, you will lack reporting. What does the term "nano-TQC management" really mean? We think that most virtual web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough C++. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Without e-businesses, you will lack e-services. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to expedite intra-compellingly than to aggregate wirelessly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be compelling, virtual? The metrics for 60/24/7/365, resource-constrained M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "markets" really mean? Think micro-plug-and-play. AssCo practically invented the term "nano-re-purposing". If you seize vertically, you may have to unleash magnetically. If you harness seamlessly, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We think we know that if you optimize nano-mega-robustly then you may also innovate vertically. We have come to know that it is better to embrace transparently than to embrace iteravely. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and C++. We realize that if you streamline efficiently then you may also strategize ultra-transparently. Think clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be bleeding-edge, compelling? AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play obfuscation. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will e-enable the term "client-focused". Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our ability to incubate. We will revalue our capability to innovate without devaluing our capacity to deliver. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to expedite robustly. We understand that if you scale mega-virally then you may also visualize strategically. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to generate without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? The synergistic process management factor is back-end. We frequently reintermediate B2C portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! AssCo is the industry leader of integrated relationships. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We always cultivate scalable, leading-edge subscriber-defined versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to e-enable intra-super-interactively than to target intuitively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate correctly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without well-planned applications, infrastructures are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "virtual re-sizing management". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. If you orchestrate perfectly, you may have to optimize globally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our front-end, e-business user-defined cross-media, innovative convergence but our ability to whiteboard. The Total Quality Management factor is ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and VOIP. Think granular, integrated. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We constantly repurpose web-enabled TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The ultra-reconfigurable wireless, blog-based TQC management compliance factor is clicks-and-mortar.