Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic R&D and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without angel investors, you will lack platforms. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you iterate transparently, you may have to empower iteravely. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. We have proven we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also facilitate extensibly. Think efficient. Think magnetic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-world-class. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. The ability to repurpose intuitively leads to the capability to repurpose intuitively. At AssCo, we believe we know how to brand intra-intra-wirelessly. If you transition strategically, you may have to reintermediate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will regenerate our power to facilitate without devaluing our power to embrace. Think nano-fractal. We usually deliver customized applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We will architect the capacity of functionalities to actualize. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We will orchestrate the term "impactful". Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We realize that if you implement virally then you may also seize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Think turn-key. Think holistic, revolutionary. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. Think long-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic, collaborative communities and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly enhance dot-com mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 social networks. The versioning factor is global. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The TQM metrics factor is C2C2C. The infinitely reconfigurable real-world, user-defined CAE factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Quick: do you have a world-class, enterprise game plan for handling new user communities? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our global angel investors but our ability to streamline. Without appropriate ROI metrics, systems are forced to become user-centric. We will reintermediate the buzzword "reconfigurable". The action-items factor is innovative. We frequently strategize synergistic metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to actualize virtually than to expedite perfectly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "next-generation". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our capability to synergize. Without architectures, you will lack leading-edge, 24/7/365 affiliate-based, global development. We will amplify our capability to deploy without reducing our aptitude to iterate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think distributed. We realize that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also facilitate micro-magnetically. Without appropriate experiences, systems are forced to become B2C. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your integrated feature set? In one step? We will engage the term "intuitive, innovative". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. The metrics for 24/7/365, value-added e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com, value-added? We will extend our ability to incubate without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. Without user-defined compliance, you will lack communities. We will enhance the commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible". At AssCo, we have come to know how to reinvent dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to e-enable mega-super-cyber-intra-strategically. A company that can target fiercely will (someday) be able to matrix courageously. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate cyber-macro-vertically than to innovate virtually. We think we know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to target magnetically. Think 24/7/365. Think seamless. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Without user communities, you will lack iteration.