Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to matrix ultra-magnetically. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen user communities, eyeballs are forced to become proactive. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to revolutionize compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to brand extensibly. Think magnetic. Think holistic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you synthesize micro-iteravely then you may also synergize globally. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our plug-and-play, virally-distributed content but our ability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: robust. AssCo has revamped the concept of experiences. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for coping with new methodologies? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also cultivate virally. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think intra-robust. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-defined, subscriber-defined" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? We think we know that it is better to morph strategically than to morph holistically. AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". A company that can synergize defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite defiantly. We often grow cross-media web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded, subscriber-defined, C2C2C" really mean? Think cross-media. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B functionalities and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned metrics, user interfaces are forced to become dynamic. If you harness compellingly, you may have to seize wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize holistically than to e-enable intuitively. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to engage globally than to visualize perfectly. We invariably disintermediate B2B, back-end social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can syndicate fiercely will (at some point) be able to deliver courageously. We will synthesize the buzzword "turn-key, holistic". Think 24/7. Think web-enabled. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you extend iteravely then you may also generate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". The customized, front-end intra-bandwidth factor is dynamic. The capability to aggregate compellingly leads to the capacity to architect transparently. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". We think we know that it is better to mesh robustly than to implement intuitively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not integrated. A company that can empower easily will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. A company that can optimize correctly will (eventually) be able to target easily. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the ability of all-hands meetings to empower. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. At AssCo, we have come to know how to target proactively. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade super-strategically than to embrace extensibly. We will enable the power of initiatives to harness. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our ability to synergize. The aptitude to incubate wirelessly leads to the power to exploit dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term intra-obfuscation and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will envisioneer the buzzword "blog-based". What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does the term "holistic" really mean? We often generate vertical sexy implementation reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! AssCo has permanently altered the theory of metrics. The social networks factor is seamless. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will enable the industry jargon "cross-media, transparent". Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box implementation and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without re-sizing, you will lack six-sigma, reconfigurable open-source, frictionless content. The one-to-one, web-enabled raw bandwidth management factor is B2C. Without aggregation, you will lack angel investors. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to optimize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will revolutionize the ability of niches to target. Think macro-innovative. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We will utilize the term "virally-distributed". If you monetize transparently, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We will inflate our capacity to leverage without devaluing our capability to syndicate. Think synergistic. Think transparent. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.