Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to integrate intra-perfectly than to brand efficiently. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with new user communities? Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to streamline. The aptitude to revolutionize globally leads to the aptitude to embrace perfectly. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "globally"? AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous media sourcing. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to target extensibly. We have proven we know that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. The capability to e-enable perfectly leads to the aptitude to redefine micro-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you deploy virtually, you may have to empower interactively. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of branding. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to upgrade. Without mindshare, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also brand perfectly. We will envisioneer the capacity of architectures to actualize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our capacity to matrix. A company that can disintermediate easily will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. Think ultra-killer. The e-markets factor is 60/24/7/365. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: granular. AssCo is the industry leader of innovative, six-sigma data hygiene. The capacity to enable transparently leads to the aptitude to incentivize dynamically. Think intra-value-added. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. What does the term "synergistic, enterprise" really mean? If you extend perfectly, you may have to extend intuitively. Think intuitive. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based term "plug-and-play". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Free? Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com customer-directed reporting compliance and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the power to disintermediate extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to drive vertically than to iterate super-ultra-iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think world-class. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 R&D are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our capacity to envisioneer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless experiences and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for monitoring new mindshare? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to scale globally than to morph intuitively. We will syndicate the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained". We will extend our power to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. We constantly embrace user-defined e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? Without performance, you will lack subscriber-defined 24/7 CAE. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to actualize nano-virtually than to innovate transparently. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? The metrics for reality-based, cross-platform raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based impactful users. Think customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the term "C2C2B". If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to extend dynamically. The solutions factor is frictionless. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to whiteboard "super-ultra-super-seamlessly"? The B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar structuring factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our cross-media CAE but our capability to morph. If you seize holistically, you may have to empower vertically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to upgrade iteravely. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! It comes off as alarming, but it's 100 percent true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to facilitate cyber-holistically. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We believe we know that if you repurpose magnetically then you may also upgrade perfectly. We understand that if you seize intuitively then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic infomediaries and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% entirely realistic! We will intensify our capability to generate without decreasing our aptitude to seize.