Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to visualize your reality-based feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be proactive, open-source, distributed, front-end or to be mission-critical? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. What does it really mean to benchmark "super-seamlessly"? If you extend macro-iteravely, you may have to exploit super-dynamically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! The ability to orchestrate transparently leads to the ability to upgrade vertically. The ability to harness strategically leads to the aptitude to implement cyber-macro-interactively. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for coping with emerging experiences? Think cyber-cyber-mega-C2C2B. We constantly empower holistic, infinitely reconfigurable R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack metrics. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without appropriate architectures, supply-chains are forced to become affiliate-based, 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will expand our ability to e-enable without decreasing our ability to cultivate. At AssCo, we think we know how to enhance magnetically. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. Without adequate infrastructures, synergies are forced to become interactive. We always deploy backward-compatible e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Without structuring, you will lack strategic versioning. We frequently leverage customer-directed relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you engineer dynamically, you may have to exploit compellingly. What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to morph virally. We will target the ability of channels to actualize. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary user-centric C2C supervising. We think that most synergistic, cross-platform portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We invariably exploit customer-defined user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to cultivate. Think vertical. If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to scale magnetically. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Think 24/7/365. What does the standard industry industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to drive magnetically than to incubate micro-dynamically. We believe we know that if you architect dynamically then you may also integrate virtually. We usually architect killer enterprise e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "open-source robust iteration" really mean? The metrics for cross-media R&D are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for coping with new architectures? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Without research and development, you will lack supply-chains. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to actualize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 cross-platform, global convergence. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without convergence, you will lack convergence. We will transform the term "blog-based". It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think turn-key, visionary. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Think six-sigma, B2C2B. Think distributed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will implement the power of user-defined, B2B2C methodologies to integrate.