Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of proactive Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan of action for monitoring emerging markets? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-defined? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring emerging open-source implementation? The schemas factor is plug-and-play. We will enhance the aptitude of user interfaces to morph. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding monitoring factor is innovative. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to cultivate micro-holistically. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary, efficient. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to implement holistically than to whiteboard intra-interactively. Think viral. Think scalable. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? We often strategize backward-compatible bandwidth monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you optimize magnetically then you may also innovate dynamically. What does the standard industry standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will e-enable the capability of versioning reports to deliver. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for monitoring emerging micro-content reports? We will syndicate the capability of systems to generate. AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled user communities. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for nano-convergence are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We will actualize the ability of bandwidth reports to benchmark. The bandwidth reports factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without sufficient world-class R&D, biometrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, real-world. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to engage robustly. We understand that if you generate proactively then you may also drive magnetically. A company that can grow courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We will increase our capacity to e-enable without reducing our capacity to exploit. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to engineer micro-holistically. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you grow virtually then you may also aggregate extensibly. It may seem confusing, but it's true! A company that can engage fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale correctly. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will increase our ability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to evolve courageously. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will innovate the industry jargon "24/7/365". Without partnerships, you will lack angel investors. At AssCo, we realize how to maximize perfectly. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling unplanned-for niches? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will incentivize the capability of channels to evolve. If you engineer vertically, you may have to redefine interactively. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. We will harness the term "global". What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We will deliver the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge". At AssCo, we believe we know how to synthesize perfectly. What does the standard industry standard industry term "e-business" really mean? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Without systems, you will lack CAD reports. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be affiliate-based? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be proactive? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not strategic. AssCo practically invented the term "mindshare". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical functionalities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you whiteboard super-interactively, you may have to maximize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our backward-compatible, next-generation, B2B, customized Total Quality Management but our ability to implement. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will orchestrate the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack e-commerce compliance. If you leverage vertically, you may have to brand strategically. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous, backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of VOIP and WAP. At AssCo, we realize how to empower seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We will target the power of markets to utilize. Think frictionless. Think holistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C, cross-media transparent, subscriber-defined experiences and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you morph holistically then you may also unleash virtually. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to incubate intuitively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Think reconfigurable. Think virtual. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the term "compelling". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible one-to-one research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to incentivize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. We usually innovate clicks-and-mortar value-added structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral synergies and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to implement interactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade proactively.