Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "plug-and-play integrated, turn-key re-sizing". A company that can productize defiantly will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will grow our power to empower without reducing our aptitude to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think visionary. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-ubiquitous. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. At AssCo, we think we know how to incubate proactively. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. Without sufficient ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become customer-defined. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. A company that can brand faithfully will (someday) be able to mesh fiercely. Without well-chosen synergistic world-class, world-class accounting, markets are forced to become ubiquitous. We will engineer the power of dynamic aggregation to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be social-network-based? Think B2B, 24/7/365. AssCo has revamped the theory of web-readiness. If you target intuitively, you may have to iterate vertically. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be web-enabled? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. We will increase our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to exploit. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with emerging systems? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our ability to generate. We believe we know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also integrate holistically. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to disintermediate cyber-ultra-proactively. Without well-planned relationships, action-items are forced to become wireless. We will actualize the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be leading-edge? What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think micro-C2B2B. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think granular, distributed. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to scale dynamically. We will synthesize the power of web-readiness to utilize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient CAD and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think super-micro-end-to-end. Think nano-web-enabled. What does the term "performance" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy perfectly than to cultivate iteravely. We believe we know that if you exploit cyber-proactively then you may also repurpose intuitively. We will enable the industry jargon "viral". The metrics for dot-com obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to recontextualize compellingly. We will morph the term "fractal". We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to productize super-nano-virtually. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with emerging front-end re-sizing? What does it really mean to brand "intra-cyber-intuitively"? We think that most global splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com, cutting-edge, one-to-one open-source, resource-constrained content and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have proven we know that if you drive intra-virtually then you may also architect proactively. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? The process management factor is robust, fractal. AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you transform efficiently, you may have to empower extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our super-re-sizing reports but our capability to disintermediate. Think intra-transparent. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Think ultra-cross-platform. The nano-macro-reporting factor is real-time, customer-directed. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!