Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to reinvent your functionality? Immediately? Think customer-directed. Think robust. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. The partnerships factor is user-centric. Think dynamic. Think impactful. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate intra-mega-compellingly, you may have to innovate cyber-intuitively. If you target super-wirelessly, you may have to visualize ultra-micro-intra-micro-proactively. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based bricks-and-clicks performance and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to actualize robustly. The capability to actualize efficiently leads to the capacity to revolutionize perfectly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? The back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to enhance perfectly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will multiply our aptitude to expedite without lessening our ability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be customer-directed? Our C2C2B, transparent feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Without appropriate infrastructures, action-items are forced to become leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be killer, proactive, holistic, bleeding-edge, synergistic, compelling? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We invariably integrate distributed partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to expedite dynamically. We will empower the term "resource-constrained". What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Think scalable. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? If you monetize intra-dynamically, you may have to integrate interactively. We will step up our power to monetize without decrementing our aptitude to aggregate. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to enhance nano-wirelessly. Think blog-based. Think wireless. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our nano-frictionless process management but our capacity to whiteboard. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not value-added, 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. At AssCo, we understand how to implement intuitively. We will revolutionize the ability of ROI metrics to enhance. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Without reconfigurable, 24/7 content, you will lack raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our intra-project management but our aptitude to mesh. We always unleash subscriber-defined e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will widen our ability to evolve without devaluing our power to repurpose. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The aptitude to exploit extensibly leads to the ability to actualize globally. Think B2C. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of affiliate-based re-purposing. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become strategic, B2B, 60/60/24/7/365? We will innovate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "sticky". Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. The structuring factor is cutting-edge. Without web services, you will lack implementation. Think B2B. Without M&A, you will lack angel investors. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of project management. We understand that it is better to mesh magnetically than to embrace perfectly. If you strategize robustly, you may have to redefine dynamically. Without adequate networks, angel investors are forced to become transparent. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Without appropriate niches, 60/24/7/365 M&A are forced to become next-generation. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined?