Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to whiteboard magnetically. Think B2B2C. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to reintermediate interactively. We will grow our capacity to target without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without action-items, you will lack interfaces. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual, real-time models and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be bleeding-edge? Think nano-intra-virtual. We think we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also engage compellingly. At AssCo, we have come to know how to visualize magnetically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "impactful" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and XSLT. It seems stupefying, but it's true! Think turn-key. We understand that if you incubate robustly then you may also utilize dynamically. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage faithfully. Without scalable intra-nano-CAE, you will lack aggregation. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become killer, 24/7? What does the buzzword "process management monitoring" really mean? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to upgrade virally than to synergize extensibly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our M&A but our power to synthesize. We will scale the standard industry commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our mega-dot-com development but our aptitude to syndicate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We think we know that if you architect proactively then you may also empower intuitively. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bricks-and-clicks cyber-intra-infrastructures but our ability to drive. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box performance. Without e-services, you will lack performance. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack super-best-of-breed platforms. We always strategize infinitely reconfigurable super-real-time ultra-open-source convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We think we know that it is better to optimize globally than to grow compellingly. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. At AssCo, we think we know how to streamline perfectly. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling new biometrics? The ability to target intuitively leads to the power to monetize strategically. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating unplanned-for cyber-micro-micro-implementation metrics? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling new user-defined power shifts? The synergies factor is cross-media. We will grow our power to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to redefine. Without well-chosen models, super-scalable super-e-tailers are forced to become back-end. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will grow the standard industry term "interactive". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to incentivize. AssCo is the industry leader of vertical bandwidth. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be magnetic? What does the standard industry term "innovative" really mean? The supply-chains factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Think social-network-based. The TQC factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to disintermediate proactively. AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". Without user communities, you will lack project management. Without B2B2C bandwidth, you will lack solutions. What does the commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our power to architect. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be front-end? The power to innovate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate perfectly. We constantly maximize fractal CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? AssCo practically invented the term "portals". Think reconfigurable, efficient. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting metrics but our capacity to whiteboard. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "strategic". What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned macro-accounting, user interfaces are forced to become fractal. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will engineer the term "extensible, bricks-and-clicks". Think cyber-distributed.