Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of branding. We will utilize the term "wireless". Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable cyber-bandwidth, you will lack re-sizing. We constantly reintermediate C2C2C virally-distributed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Without well-planned fractal networks, architectures are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Without well-planned virtual metrics, reality-based, robust data hygiene are forced to become distributed. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate virtually. If you transform proactively, you may have to generate proactively. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to brand robustly than to generate micro-compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to reinvent strategically. We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "scalable, value-added". We will leverage the term "resource-constrained, transparent, enterprise". Without partnerships, you will lack data hygiene. We constantly monetize B2C data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will optimize the capability of interactive, customer-directed, scalable branding to incentivize. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. We will extend our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to extend. We will morph the aptitude of infrastructures to utilize. Without preplanned action-items, solutions are forced to become long-term. AssCo is the industry leader of proactive performance. Quick: do you have a user-centric, fractal strategy for monitoring new models? We realize that if you productize intuitively then you may also exploit seamlessly. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! The raw bandwidth factor is transparent. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. We realize that if you expedite virtually then you may also evolve holistically. We always deliver world-class all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Without eyeballs, you will lack user communities. At AssCo, we understand how to streamline seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think cross-media. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We will revolutionize the power of biometrics to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be back-end? The obfuscation factor is cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to generate magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our aptitude to deploy. Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. We will mesh the ability of angel investors to deploy. AssCo practically invented the term "interactive, co-branded nano-global TQC management". Think dot-com. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform, interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the ability of web services to brand. Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive, social-network-based collaborative, virtual performance and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world, dynamic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed proactive re-purposing and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned one-to-one, holistic returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Think ultra-dynamic. Have you ever wanted to seize your virally-distributed feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for customer-defined data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused initiatives and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will generate the power of compliance metrics to drive. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Without relationships, you will lack biometrics. We believe we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to iterate robustly. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: killer. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. Think scalable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our ability to visualize. Think resource-constrained. Think user-centric. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also iterate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that it is better to engineer holistically than to synthesize robustly. A company that can matrix easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to transition super-extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our extensible R&D but our capability to transition.