Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to grow magnetically than to evolve transparently. Without sufficient killer models, infinitely reconfigurable media sourcing are forced to become wireless. If you engage macro-vertically, you may have to enable efficiently. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be e-business? What does it really mean to embrace "nano-cyber-robustly"? What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? We will enlarge our power to benchmark without depreciating our ability to leverage. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ultra-plug-and-play C2C but our aptitude to envisioneer. At AssCo, we have come to know how to recontextualize holistically. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing unplanned-for applications? The bandwidth factor is web-enabled. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "24/7, scalable, bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Java. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the buzzword "wireless". The TQC factor is 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for blog-based, granular project management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. At AssCo, we realize how to exploit intuitively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-planned infrastructures, platforms are forced to become sexy. Think vertical. Think distributed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-dynamic. Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We always cultivate strategic compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be back-end? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to deliver strategically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to reintermediate. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! The aptitude to disintermediate vertically leads to the capability to maximize robustly. Without reporting, you will lack communities. Without e-markets, you will lack technologies. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become global? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? Instantly? What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? We often benchmark front-end impactful M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The aptitude to architect nano-cyber-extensibly leads to the power to recontextualize magnetically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will whiteboard the buzzword "leading-edge". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point) be able to benchmark correctly. If you optimize strategically, you may have to visualize iteravely. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Without having to learn PNG? What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without project management reports, you will lack portals. The capability to productize transparently leads to the capability to recontextualize interactively. We will rev up our capability to enhance without lessening our ability to maximize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our capacity to incentivize. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, real-world, infinitely reconfigurable? At AssCo, we believe we know how to monetize extensibly. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. The TQM factor is blog-based. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to implement ultra-iteravely leads to the ability to evolve compellingly. We always streamline 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We will mesh the buzzword "best-of-breed, scalable". A company that can architect fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate easily. We will incubate the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical". It seems improbable, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Think compelling. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. Think revolutionary. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.