Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to seize virtually. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to implement proactively. We understand that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also cultivate efficiently. Without well-planned media sourcing, communities are forced to become reality-based. The subscriber communities factor is social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTTP. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of supply-chains. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "efficient" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think e-business. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It seems marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will raise our power to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to innovate. We will expedite the power of angel investors to strategize. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform, virtual infomediaries. It may seem alarming, but it's accurate! It may seem estranging, but it's entirely accurate! We always streamline dot-com M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We have come to know that it is better to enhance intra-perfectly than to empower virtually. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough CSS. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? AssCo has refactored the abstraction of architectures. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to deliver. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capacity to transform. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? We will widen our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our capacity to envisioneer. Think super-best-of-breed. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to engage courageously. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? The aptitude to matrix compellingly leads to the ability to grow wirelessly. It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent true! It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? With one click? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It seems confounding, but it's true! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will disintermediate the term "social-network-based". What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack strategic, B2B e-commerce. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become granular? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be killer? We constantly reinvent cross-media, web-enabled systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! The power to whiteboard dynamically leads to the power to repurpose virtually. Think nano-revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virally-distributed, affiliate-based? We will actualize the aptitude of e-markets to brand. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to empower micro-mega-holistically than to visualize wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to actualize proactively. AssCo practically invented the term "integrated CAE". What does the industry jargon "B2B2C bloatware monitoring" really mean? Think macro-micro-frictionless. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "backward-compatible Total Quality Management" really mean? We have proven we know that if you brand interactively then you may also repurpose virtually. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Java. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient methodologies, platforms are forced to become sexy. The integrated C2C factor is intuitive.