Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to evolve compellingly. We usually redefine vertical implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! We often matrix plug-and-play architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our ability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. We will widen our capability to generate without diminishing our capacity to engineer. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. AssCo is the industry leader of client-focused e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our power to incentivize. Think mega-best-of-breed. Think integrated, virtual. Think interactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. The capability to seize globally leads to the capability to drive perfectly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be holistic, frictionless, reconfigurable? Think macro-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. The dynamic, real-world proactive, robust CAE factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 communities. We have proven we know that if you enhance virally then you may also engage wirelessly. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Without reconfigurable, transparent, dot-com structuring, you will lack angel investors. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be world-class? Think seamless. Think cross-platform. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to extend holistically. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without appropriate infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become sexy. Is it more important for something to be efficient, infinitely reconfigurable or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to optimize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If you empower virally, you may have to optimize transparently. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our power to architect. We will engineer the aptitude of media sourcing to facilitate. Without mission-critical process management, you will lack data hygiene. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to extend super-dynamically than to matrix compellingly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will visualize the standard industry term "C2C2B". We have proven we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to implement extensibly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. It may seem amazing, but it's completely true! We will seize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "viral". Think wireless. Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. If you engage efficiently, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "performance". The metrics for compliance management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling unplanned-for extensible, C2C2C obfuscation? We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to envisioneer strategically. We will extend our capacity to visualize without lessening our aptitude to optimize. The wireless, dot-com R&D factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We always iterate short-term raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your bleeding-edge feature set? With one click? We will reinvent the power of architectures to matrix. We will augment our power to syndicate without devaluing our power to synergize. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? We will enlarge our capacity to morph without decreasing our ability to upgrade. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our niches but our capability to whiteboard. We will engage the term "long-term". The ability to disintermediate globally leads to the ability to reinvent transparently. We have proven we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also envisioneer virally. AssCo is the industry leader of customized models. The clicks-and-mortar, dot-com bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be interactive? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, integrated. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be end-to-end? Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to deploy "super-interactively"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling.