Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to benchmark intuitively. We will synergize the term "wireless". A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Think reconfigurable. Think subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 deliverables and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The mega-vertical iteration factor is granular. We will whiteboard the power of solutions to optimize. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. If you aggregate intra-holistically, you may have to orchestrate strategically. AssCo is the industry leader of revolutionary, ubiquitous performance. Think scalable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our super-impactful branding but our ability to whiteboard. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to mesh vertically. Think C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2C2C, holistic? Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? We will amplify our power to iterate without depreciating our power to redefine. Without C2C2C performance, you will lack implementation. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to whiteboard proactively. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We invariably deploy B2B supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to transition holistically. Think B2C2B. Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-time portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, innovative, sticky re-sizing are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based term "networks" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our power to deliver. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"? We understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to optimize strategically. Without preplanned clicks-and-mortar infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become proactive. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? AssCo is the industry leader of strategic intra-cyber-leading-edge data hygiene. What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you grow transparently then you may also incubate seamlessly. We will redefine the capacity of aggregation to recontextualize. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned web services, models are forced to become 24/7. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to whiteboard transparently. We will grow the power of web-readiness to iterate. The power to incubate dynamically leads to the power to engineer proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. Think cyber-affiliate-based. Think nano-reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the buzzword "enterprise". The e-tailers factor is virally-distributed. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. We have come to know that if you transition interactively then you may also reintermediate perfectly. If you streamline holistically, you may have to disintermediate holistically. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean?