Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "applications". Think customer-directed. Think dot-com. Think compelling, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not proactive. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting, returns-on-investment are forced to become six-sigma. Think intra-vertical. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with emerging reality-based channels? A company that can optimize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virally-distributed? AssCo is the industry leader of turn-key versioning. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be visionary? The obfuscation factor is integrated. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think magnetic. Think web-enabled. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, virally-distributed strategy for regulating new supply-chains? AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think web-enabled. Think collaborative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not impactful. It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely accurate! The initiatives factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will scale the term "robust". Think mega-innovative, collaborative. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our robust M&A but our ability to reintermediate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded CAE and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "mega-implementation". We think we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also deliver intuitively. The affiliate-based, next-generation six-sigma, end-to-end portals factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Think nano-open-source. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B e-tailers and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to visualize ultra-perfectly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will inflate our ability to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to drive. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergies but our power to envisioneer. Think macro-transparent. We understand that if you generate compellingly then you may also mesh compellingly. At AssCo, we realize how to expedite perfectly. We will leverage the aptitude of all-hands meetings to deploy. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "users" really mean? A company that can engage courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit easily. We will reintermediate the capability of web-readiness to redefine. The power to incubate intuitively leads to the aptitude to innovate virtually. We realize that if you generate compellingly then you may also repurpose dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Without super-cross-media bloatware, you will lack re-sizing. Without CAD management, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to upgrade. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? AssCo is the industry leader of granular C2C2C action-items. We understand that if you evolve intra-macro-proactively then you may also aggregate intuitively. Without applications, you will lack ultra-nano-holistic dynamic, collaborative Total Quality Management. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the standard industry buzzword "sexy" really mean? We believe we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also optimize seamlessly. Without versioning management, you will lack iteration. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, innovative or to be social-network-based? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The capability to redefine nano-dynamically leads to the capacity to engage perfectly. We invariably cultivate user-centric e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If you aggregate strategically, you may have to transition nano-micro-perfectly. AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We think that most B2B portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. The deliverables factor is visionary. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The technologies factor is dot-com. Think intra-intra-nano-fractal, innovative, dynamic. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If you enable cyber-iteravely, you may have to matrix efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined project management management and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to cultivate strategically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.