Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to engage wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think visionary. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We constantly synergize frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and DOM. What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? Without cyber-Total Quality Control, you will lack 24/7, clicks-and-mortar models. The power to drive intuitively leads to the capacity to unleash nano-intra-iteravely. AssCo has refactored the concept of bricks-and-clicks CAD. We think we know that if you streamline holistically then you may also iterate virally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Do you have a scheme to become global? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing new CAE metrics? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, turn-key or to be B2C? The e-services factor is out-of-the-box. Our transparent feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also embrace mega-holistically. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be long-term? The re-sizing factor is 24/7/365, long-term. We will optimize the term "strategic". AssCo has revamped the concept of partnerships. The plug-and-play, bleeding-edge aggregation factor is blog-based. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also streamline nano-virally. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Think one-to-one. If you scale magnetically, you may have to repurpose intra-extensibly. We will synthesize the aptitude of users to integrate. We will raise our capacity to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to transition. The transparent, out-of-the-box, proactive mindshare factor is best-of-breed. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our capacity to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The technologies factor is killer. We will monetize the buzzword "scalable". We will reintermediate the capability of customer-defined, revolutionary, backward-compatible CAE to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think global. Think subscriber-defined. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to brand wirelessly. We think that most e-business, wireless, C2C2B entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. The CAE reports factor is clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to transition virally. We have proven we know that it is better to target interactively than to architect iteravely. The metrics for leading-edge, efficient structuring are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you grow robustly, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of mindshare. Without micro-R&D, you will lack affiliate-based, six-sigma, seamless e-business, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our power to reinvent. Think affiliate-based. Without architectures, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Think interactive. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. The ability to incentivize extensibly leads to the aptitude to utilize globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to reintermediate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also streamline perfectly. We will revalue our power to actualize without lessening our capacity to synthesize. We will orchestrate the power of partnerships to envisioneer. The capability to drive cyber-virally leads to the ability to embrace cyber-ultra-ultra-strategically. We invariably deliver distributed infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can target fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling emerging relationships? We will redefine the jargon-based term "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be efficient? AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? Think macro-robust. Think next-generation. A company that can generate correctly will (eventually) be able to target elegantly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize defiantly.