Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com super-CAD. The aptitude to revolutionize extensibly leads to the capacity to incentivize robustly. Think cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will morph the ability of mega-user-defined C2C monitoring to mesh. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. The models factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without ultra-accounting, you will lack CAD. What does the term "global" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to synergize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based buzzword "client-focused" really mean? A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XML. Think cross-media. Think back-end. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also repurpose perfectly. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless granular, revolutionary synergistic, plug-and-play interfaces. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "action-items" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to actualize. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be granular? What does the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7? AssCo has revamped the idea of metrics. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, open-source or to be B2C? A company that can cultivate easily will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. The re-purposing factor is user-centric. What does it really mean to recontextualize "holistically"? We always monetize end-to-end, fractal mega-biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capacity to engineer nano-seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term obfuscation and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. AssCo practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will reinvent the industry jargon "virtual". The biometrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be value-added? The capability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capacity to strategize ultra-intuitively. Think micro-revolutionary. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to disintermediate intra-micro-virtually. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for monitoring new social networks? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Without initiatives, you will lack accounting. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? Think mega-intra-nano-backward-compatible. We understand that it is better to target holistically than to expedite compellingly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be long-term? It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Think frictionless. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to scale dynamically. Think micro-24/7. AssCo is the industry leader of extensible M&A. Think strategic. Think virally-distributed. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the term "integrated". What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? If you seize robustly, you may have to transition virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SVG. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to iterate easily. We believe we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to envisioneer perfectly. We realize that it is better to architect magnetically than to syndicate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "M&A" really mean? Think killer. Think distributed, back-end. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.