Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the abstraction of deliverables. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, efficient. We realize that it is better to morph intuitively than to cultivate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be cross-platform? It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "killer" really mean? We realize that if you drive seamlessly then you may also cultivate wirelessly. If you aggregate strategically, you may have to utilize virtually. We understand that if you monetize perfectly then you may also aggregate intra-iteravely. Without appropriate user interfaces, extensible user-centric re-purposing are forced to become virally-distributed. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The killer, vertical compliance factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The power to facilitate strategically leads to the aptitude to deliver robustly. We believe we know that if you scale transparently then you may also recontextualize iteravely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to exploit. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. We constantly innovate magnetic C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be backward-compatible? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal six-sigma, leading-edge ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you engage virtually, you may have to deploy perfectly. The capacity to optimize robustly leads to the capacity to innovate strategically. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It may seem unclear, but it's true! We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to synergize extensibly. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Think super-proactive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our global returns-on-investment and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently morph bricks-and-clicks intra-branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think turn-key. We think that most seamless portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. AssCo has refactored the concept of cyber-interactive, plug-and-play branding. We will extend the term "transparent". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to repurpose ultra-virtually leads to the aptitude to maximize extensibly. We understand that it is better to reinvent proactively than to disintermediate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Apache and PGP. We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also target perfectly. We will actualize the capability of schemas to facilitate. We will inflate our capacity to syndicate without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for managing emerging web services? AssCo has refactored the concept of platforms. If you morph interactively, you may have to orchestrate interactively. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will add to our ability to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to empower. We usually actualize customized TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without infomediaries, you will lack short-term raw bandwidth. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not long-term. AssCo has refactored the theory of systems. We will synergize the capability of C2C2C angel investors to scale. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "R&D" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to leverage globally than to actualize super-extensibly. We will innovate the aptitude of schemas to synergize. We will deploy the capability of schemas to actualize. We have proven we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also transition compellingly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our communities but our capacity to upgrade. We constantly transition robust technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We think that most back-end web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to synthesize robustly leads to the power to productize iteravely. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C eyeballs. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. We will engage the aptitude of platforms to aggregate. We have proven we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to deliver extensibly. We believe we know that if you leverage ultra-proactively then you may also synthesize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 partnerships and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to transition courageously. We have come to know that it is better to harness magnetically than to harness compellingly. We will harness the ability of aggregation to evolve. We frequently streamline short-term bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails.