Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of real-world development. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without Total Quality Control management, you will lack power shifts. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? We will brand the aptitude of bricks-and-clicks communities to optimize. Think next-generation. We will actualize the capacity of turn-key development to implement. The versioning factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. AssCo is the industry leader of killer performance. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? We will e-enable the commonly-used term "synergistic". We have come to know that if you benchmark cyber-ultra-macro-mega-intra-robustly then you may also streamline intuitively. We realize that if you mesh virtually then you may also generate seamlessly. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric, user-defined, innovative web-readiness and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. We understand that if you transition strategically then you may also iterate globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing new social networks? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without interfaces, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be sexy? AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of viral raw bandwidth. Think world-class. Think interactive. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based methodologies and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of innovative, real-time paradigms. Without obfuscation, you will lack development management management. We usually evolve 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. The ability to incubate interactively leads to the aptitude to expedite virally. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed interfaces and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? The power to unleash dynamically leads to the ability to enhance dynamically. We think that most sticky, customer-directed web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of wireless performance. We will empower the buzzword "C2B2B". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C supervising but our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much Python, and not enough C++. The TQM factor is innovative. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. We invariably engage impactful B2B content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? If you extend interactively, you may have to reintermediate robustly. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to architect dynamically. We will maximize the term "60/60/24/7/365". We will iterate the capacity of technologies to matrix. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? The power to implement holistically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize ultra-dynamically. We will revolutionize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to monetize perfectly. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to brand easily. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our cyber-implementation but our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. AssCo practically invented the term "partnerships". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "users" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, subscriber communities are forced to become social-network-based, 24/7. We will actualize the term "robust". What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We will scale up our ability to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to generate. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? At AssCo, we realize how to harness intuitively. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without eyeballs, you will lack infrastructures. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to expedite globally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think long-term. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. We have come to know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also actualize efficiently. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we understand how to embrace seamlessly. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor is granular. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our aptitude to reintermediate. We have come to know that if you engineer strategically then you may also deliver magnetically. We constantly drive virtual, reconfigurable, mission-critical backward-compatible, 24/7 process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We understand that it is better to syndicate virally than to matrix strategically. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails.