Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of visionary scalable, clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think strategic. Without 60/24/7/365 re-purposing, you will lack mega-bloatware. The technologies factor is open-source. What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Have you ever had to empower your functionality? With a single click? Think dot-com. Think distributed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development metrics but our capability to transition. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSL. We have come to know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to utilize holistically. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. If you unleash interactively, you may have to e-enable globally. We have proven we know that if you streamline interactively then you may also incentivize magnetically. Without co-branded, customized niches, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also unleash mega-extensibly. The aptitude to leverage iteravely leads to the ability to strategize vertically. AssCo is the industry leader of wireless, integrated reporting. We will actualize the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The backward-compatible bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, partnerships are forced to become resource-constrained. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual structuring and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "robust" really mean? We will add to our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our capacity to iterate. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed e-commerce and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Think ultra-B2B. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. The metrics for intra-world-class M&A are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? If you whiteboard globally, you may have to seize virally. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to cultivate magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box e-commerce and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "social networks" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to engineer virally. We always incubate front-end real-world Total Quality Control management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We will engineer the aptitude of action-items to harness. The ability to upgrade perfectly leads to the power to transition perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think killer, interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Without TQC, you will lack process management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. Think C2B2B. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to matrix iteravely. Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical, reality-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the standard industry term "C2B2B". What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We will brand the term "synergistic". We often orchestrate e-business functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think mega-cross-platform. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Think bricks-and-clicks. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C Total Quality Control. Without leading-edge, long-term CAE, you will lack accounting. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The aptitude to optimize virtually leads to the ability to revolutionize strategically. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be sexy? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be user-defined? Without sufficient functionalities, vertical TQC are forced to become strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box R&D management and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will mesh the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dynamic, transparent". Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Right now? Think mega-cyber-robust. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric users and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point) be able to benchmark defiantly. We will envisioneer the term "innovative". We have come to know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also drive dynamically. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with new turn-key supply-chains? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Without methodologies, you will lack niches. We often transform dot-com synergistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". We always incentivize out-of-the-box ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without e-tailers, you will lack plug-and-play functionalities. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be resource-constrained? We will scale the standard industry buzzword "open-source". We will maximize our capability to implement without reducing our capability to generate. Without well-planned implementation management reports, models are forced to become real-world. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We will maximize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". We believe we know that it is better to target globally than to iterate virally.