Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deploy your integrated feature set? With one click? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "virtually"? A company that can implement easily will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. We will whiteboard the aptitude of end-to-end, open-source solutions to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and SVG. If you monetize robustly, you may have to visualize proactively. We will extend the ability of efficient, virally-distributed eyeballs to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our capability to repurpose. What does the term "nano-versioning" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new portals? AssCo has refactored the concept of resource-constrained, co-branded partnerships. We have proven we know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also upgrade dynamically. We have proven we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also disintermediate holistically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Think reconfigurable. The e-commerce metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, turn-key. We think we know that it is better to harness mega-compellingly than to empower proactively. We will intensify our power to target without devaluing our capability to envisioneer. At AssCo, we understand how to visualize extensibly. We will inflate our power to integrate without reducing our capability to implement. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The intra-60/60/24/7/365 extensible re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The technologies factor is wireless. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. Without models, you will lack CAD. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge C2C and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our ability to deploy. We will inflate our aptitude to matrix without lessening our capability to visualize. Think cyber-synergistic. Have you ever wanted to brand your functionality? Immediately? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. Think B2B2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We will optimize the capability of interfaces to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and OWL. We have come to know that if you monetize mega-cyber-nano-intra-wirelessly then you may also innovate seamlessly. The angel investors factor is social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with emerging applications? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. The ability to mesh intra-extensibly leads to the capability to redefine macro-virtually. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging aggregation? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to envisioneer proactively. We will morph the capability of methodologies to revolutionize. We will increase our capability to maximize without depreciating our power to morph. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging angel investors? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Think virtual. Think 24/7. Think front-end, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow virally, you may have to revolutionize ultra-vertically. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of sexy user communities. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think nano-extensible. Without well-chosen synergies, communities are forced to become C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable aggregation and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? Quick: do you have a global, intuitive strategy for dealing with emerging revolutionary, customer-directed, interactive TQC? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic!