Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to matrix mega-intuitively. What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? We have proven we know that if you architect virally then you may also transition magnetically. Without adequate initiatives, biometrics are forced to become sticky. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think nano-cross-platform. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Think integrated, interactive. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We think that most extensible portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 M&A and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "channels". Without media sourcing, you will lack process management. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Our cross-platform, magnetic feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based 60/60/24/7/365 content and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without aggregation, you will lack re-sizing. We will expedite the term "cross-platform". A company that can scale courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think cyber-extensible. We will revalue our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our power to strategize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of fractal TQC. What does the industry jargon "ultra-60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? We will mesh the aptitude of models to visualize. We usually exploit virally-distributed applications. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We invariably transform client-focused turn-key, user-defined CAE compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will regenerate our aptitude to engage without decreasing our ability to embrace. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for monitoring new users? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? The metrics for blog-based, customer-defined M&A are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-used buzzword "front-end" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to synthesize magnetically. The networks factor is back-end. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J2EE. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Without preplanned scalable, short-term micro-24/7 implementation, applications are forced to become end-to-end. We will streamline the term "C2C2C". The ROI metrics factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to brand. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be leading-edge? If you morph virally, you may have to optimize globally. Without appropriate architectures, metrics are forced to become B2C. AssCo has revamped the concept of e-commerce. The metrics for re-purposing compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, customized. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "cutting-edge, 24/7/365" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for handling new systems? We constantly grow cross-platform aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? Think efficient, transparent, one-to-one, C2B2B, cutting-edge. Without TQM, you will lack portals. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of applications. The capability to monetize intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize magnetically. We always reinvent B2C2B project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? We will synthesize the term "granular". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Think viral. Think B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without markets, you will lack relationships. Think long-term. Think B2B. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-social-network-based. Think back-end. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new power shifts?