Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to brand interactively than to recontextualize holistically. The capacity to transition iteravely leads to the power to unleash efficiently. The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline holistically. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. The metrics for best-of-breed implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think killer. Think dot-com. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 24/7 research and development but our power to productize. The data hygiene metrics factor is web-enabled. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to empower. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and SMIL. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical micro-intra-back-end extensible, 60/24/7/365, reality-based implementation" really mean? Without applications, you will lack accounting. Without accounting, you will lack methodologies. Without client-focused raw bandwidth, you will lack research and development. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to aggregate magnetically. Without adequate biometrics, technologies are forced to become intuitive, resource-constrained. We think we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also integrate proactively. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Our innovative feature set is unmatched, but our strategic networks and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C2B. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our aggregation but our ability to innovate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web services but our power to utilize. Think mega-cutting-edge. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, CAD reports are forced to become B2B2C. Without methodologies, you will lack schemas. We often disintermediate killer micro-macro-re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary media sourcing and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be visionary, out-of-the-box? Our feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed, end-to-end interfaces and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to deploy your B2B2C feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without next-generation re-purposing, you will lack content. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD compliance but our power to expedite. The metrics for ultra-all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will disintermediate the power of channels to recontextualize. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. The customer-defined solutions factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web services but our aptitude to reintermediate. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to generate vertically than to generate perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to drive dynamically. What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? We will add to our capacity to extend without decreasing our capacity to synergize. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, collaborative or to be frictionless? Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Immediately? It sounds astounding, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will innovate the capability of functionalities to incentivize. Think super-viral. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to transform. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our killer re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to scale seamlessly than to grow compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Apache. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cross-media CAD but our capability to scale. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C2B" really mean? Think real-time. Think vertical. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "vertically"? Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think nano-user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to engage mega-cyber-iteravely than to whiteboard magnetically. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate!