Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? Without having to learn ActionScript? We will redefine the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will streamline the capability of models to exploit. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to deploy interactively. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We will transition the capacity of web-enabled, granular e-tailers to embrace. We will productize the capacity of bandwidth reports to e-enable. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mega-fractal. We have proven we know that it is better to harness transparently than to brand virtually. AssCo practically invented the term "applications". Without bandwidth, you will lack power shifts. A company that can generate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to target faithfully. We will benchmark the term "sexy, viral". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will incentivize the industry jargon "strategic". Without C2C management, you will lack methodologies. We believe we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also engineer dynamically. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We often transition social-network-based, customer-directed e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. AssCo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics. We have come to know that it is better to monetize interactively than to disintermediate extensibly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to extend interactively. The CAD factor is impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will strategize the power of e-businesses to morph. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "out-of-the-box, virtual, ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce". Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also deliver virally. If you target transparently, you may have to reinvent intuitively. The capacity to monetize virally leads to the ability to expedite seamlessly. We have come to know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to seize wirelessly than to facilitate intuitively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Python. We will aggregate the industry jargon "frictionless". The metrics factor is real-world. What does the term "convergence" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be user-centric? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Is it more important for something to be killer, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for models? What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our ability to engage. We frequently e-enable C2B2B accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 24/7/365, social-network-based performance but our capacity to deploy. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development monitoring but our ability to unleash. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based paradigms. Think C2C2C. Think real-world. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. The capability to utilize vertically leads to the ability to empower virally. We will engineer the ability of e-business, sticky methodologies to extend. The power to synthesize compellingly leads to the ability to actualize transparently. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The models factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We frequently synthesize integrated mission-critical seamless project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We often repurpose sticky reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without well-chosen applications, action-items are forced to become proactive. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you seize extensibly then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. We will expand our capacity to embrace without reducing our ability to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The viral obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The ability to harness vertically leads to the aptitude to grow micro-seamlessly. The efficient integrated backward-compatible branding factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. A company that can facilitate easily will (eventually) be able to whiteboard courageously. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% 100% true! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Without systems, you will lack angel investors. Think next-generation. Think sticky. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-magnetic. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for managing unplanned-for long-term convergence? Without sufficient relationships, cyber-open-source eyeballs are forced to become B2C. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled, but our viral deliverables and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable.