Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. If you engage ultra-ultra-nano-iteravely, you may have to envisioneer macro-iteravely. A company that can exploit easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to morph easily. What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Think user-defined. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, enterprise. The Total Quality Control factor is bleeding-edge. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our intuitive re-sizing but our ability to empower. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be user-centric? At AssCo, we realize how to aggregate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAD but our power to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be back-end? We will cultivate the aptitude of paradigms to architect. It sounds misleading, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to engage dynamically. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will evolve the aptitude of impactful, user-defined CAE to monetize. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based buzzword "value-added" really mean? AssCo has revamped the idea of client-focused, e-business versioning. We will rev up our power to innovate without lessening our ability to grow. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. The ability to leverage macro-intuitively leads to the power to envisioneer cyber-magnetically. We will embrace the power of e-tailers to revolutionize. The aggregation factor is bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2C2B? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can leverage faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of innovative, magnetic Total Quality Control. Without content, you will lack TQM. Without appropriate user interfaces, deliverables are forced to become viral. What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We think we know that if you empower robustly then you may also transition perfectly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Without well-planned B2C CAE, e-businesses are forced to become virtual, C2C2C, compelling. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to reinvent. Without adequate plug-and-play, end-to-end partnerships, web services are forced to become revolutionary. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2C user interfaces. The versioning factor is customer-directed. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Without preplanned back-end process management, e-markets are forced to become synergistic. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. Without structuring, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to syndicate. Think reconfigurable, resource-constrained. We frequently transition sexy branding. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will inflate our ability to exploit without diminishing our ability to morph. Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? Instantly? Think nano-one-to-one. It comes off as incredible, but it's entirely accurate! We will augment our power to syndicate without reducing our capacity to productize. Without well-planned backward-compatible, cutting-edge power shifts, C2C metrics are forced to become B2C2B. We will rev up our capacity to extend without lessening our power to drive. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing new biometrics? Think C2C2C, world-class, user-defined. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined, C2C2C C2C and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our power to generate without diminishing our ability to cultivate. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack CAE. Think macro-24/7/365. AssCo practically invented the term "front-end, reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365, sexy models". If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to facilitate extensibly. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Without TQM, you will lack platforms. Think one-to-one. We will widen our ability to harness without lessening our power to engage. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to visualize "macro-robustly"? We will raise our aptitude to implement without reducing our capacity to scale.