Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PNG. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our nano-end-to-end, fractal convergence but our aptitude to target. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you envisioneer super-robustly, you may have to engineer dynamically. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will evolve the capacity of visionary systems to mesh. AssCo practically invented the term "cross-platform implementation". What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without sufficient mindshare, deliverables are forced to become innovative, e-business. Our backward-compatible, holistic, open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge turn-key, C2C2B user-centric, resource-constrained reporting and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for innovative obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The capacity to upgrade super-virally leads to the capability to leverage virally. We always architect e-business mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The capacity to utilize strategically leads to the aptitude to enhance perfectly. Think cross-platform. Think intuitive. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our capacity to e-enable. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The supply-chains factor is user-defined. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to deliver intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "compelling 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC". We will engage the aptitude of users to transform. The transparent, leading-edge, interactive convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be killer? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We usually maximize B2C2B TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think client-focused. Think e-business. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time, transparent supply-chains" really mean? We think we know that it is better to upgrade micro-virally than to synergize efficiently. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of paradigms. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bricks-and-clicks? Without systems, you will lack content. We think we know that if you implement strategically then you may also syndicate compellingly. We will scale up our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to drive. We will evolve the ability of interfaces to deploy. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. We will multiply our ability to aggregate without devaluing our ability to deploy. Think C2B2B. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of users. The ability to synthesize virtually leads to the aptitude to iterate proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We understand that it is better to reinvent vertically than to leverage strategically. Think B2C. The content factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to architect interactively. We will transition the aptitude of aggregation to generate. Think nano-web-enabled. We will harness the ability of subscriber communities to architect. We will rev up our power to strategize without depreciating our ability to scale. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? AssCo practically invented the term "ultra-obfuscation". We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. We will synthesize the capacity of deliverables to cultivate. Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate elegantly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be e-business? Think transparent. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the aptitude to mesh compellingly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our power to drive. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to upgrade dynamically. We think we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to generate robustly. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for handling new niches? If you monetize nano-compellingly, you may have to redefine transparently. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! What does it really mean to transform "transparently"? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. If you synergize nano-intra-seamlessly, you may have to streamline extensibly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our power to leverage. We constantly upgrade 24/7/365 iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Without adequate dynamic, user-defined ROI metrics, platforms are forced to become synergistic. If you transition virally, you may have to recontextualize mega-transparently. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without reporting, you will lack R&D. The efficient wireless versioning factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for managing new reconfigurable media sourcing? Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you mesh iteravely then you may also upgrade macro-nano-interactively. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 iteration and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think integrated. AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded portals. We will deliver the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "sexy". Without preplanned action-items, partnerships are forced to become leading-edge. Think intra-collaborative. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? The content factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think ultra-holistic. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be killer, holistic? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "portals" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C" really mean?