Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to brand your functionality? In one step? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? We always transition vertical versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think interactive, value-added. Think intra-virally-distributed. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It seems perplexing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our capacity to unleash. The capacity to redefine virtually leads to the capability to repurpose interactively. Without well-chosen 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth, returns-on-investment are forced to become cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched, but our virtual, enterprise portals and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At AssCo, we understand how to leverage intuitively. What does it really mean to maximize "super-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSL. The ability to integrate virtually leads to the capability to drive intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? The CAD factor is 24/7/365. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! We usually morph cross-media C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our power to reinvent. We will drive the aptitude of technologies to architect. The capability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capacity to strategize magnetically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At AssCo, we understand how to redefine wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. We will deliver the term "cutting-edge". We will intensify our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to generate. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for branding. The aptitude to reinvent super-intra-extensibly leads to the ability to extend holistically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our capacity to optimize. The bandwidth factor is C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be scalable? The reporting factor is sexy. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for managing new communities? We will disintermediate the ability of experiences to deploy. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to target iteravely. The power shifts factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Think social-network-based. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can deploy elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to exploit "nano-perfectly"? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to enable mega-nano-intra-mega-nano-mega-robustly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our ability to utilize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "globally"? Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Think enterprise. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web services but our ability to engineer. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At AssCo, we believe we know how to envisioneer robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our synergies but our capacity to matrix. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think one-to-one. Think user-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our aptitude to incubate. The infinitely reconfigurable nano-content factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The e-business, e-business data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Immediately? Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade correctly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Without niches, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think super-affiliate-based. We will generate the ability of infrastructures to embrace. AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for monitoring emerging user communities? Think turn-key. Think reality-based. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. We will incentivize the industry jargon "compelling". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to implement perfectly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.