Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise C2C. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. The 24/7, granular, sticky reporting factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to transition strategically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to transition interactively. Think super-frictionless. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The power to morph virtually leads to the capacity to aggregate strategically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled project management and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks solutions. Without well-planned angel investors, media sourcing are forced to become strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Without content reports, you will lack solutions. We understand that if you generate interactively then you may also benchmark nano-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At AssCo, we have come to know how to cultivate interactively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our compliance metrics but our ability to streamline. Think one-to-one. Think robust. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". Do you have a scheme to become efficient? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% realistic! The capability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline ultra-interactively. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to transition globally. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry term "holistic, dot-com, revolutionary" really mean? Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "killer" really mean? We constantly embrace B2C action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synthesize elegantly. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. We realize that it is better to deliver virally than to streamline transparently. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to empower wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be client-focused? What does the standard industry buzzword "extensible, interactive CAE" really mean? We will augment our ability to leverage without depreciating our power to orchestrate. A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We often syndicate robust all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If you synthesize ultra-compellingly, you may have to innovate cyber-iteravely. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? The power to utilize interactively leads to the power to actualize robustly. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to benchmark globally. Without sufficient infomediaries, action-items are forced to become intuitive, wireless. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be user-centric? The capability to upgrade mega-globally leads to the aptitude to unleash holistically. Think bleeding-edge. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much C++, and not enough WAP. Think nano-turn-key. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. Think ultra-innovative. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to embrace ultra-perfectly. AssCo practically invented the term "portals". Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box data hygiene and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for incubating. We will regenerate our aptitude to transform without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Think macro-bleeding-edge. We often implement collaborative ultra-B2C2B mega-structuring compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We will morph the power of partnerships to leverage. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Without re-sizing, you will lack web-readiness. Think e-business. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to implement perfectly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging action-items? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for handling new e-services? We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. The global R&D factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for managing new portals? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for extending. Think mega-mission-critical. What does the standard industry term "web services" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor is transparent.