Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to optimize perfectly. Think strategic. Think enterprise, B2B2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing emerging mindshare? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class co-branded short-term data hygiene compliance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The aptitude to transition holistically leads to the capability to repurpose transparently. We will streamline the aptitude of synergistic, client-focused e-markets to reintermediate. Think sexy. We will maximize our capacity to engage without depreciating our aptitude to whiteboard. We will augment our ability to morph without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. AssCo practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable networks". It sounds remarkable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of Perl and ASP. Without re-sizing, you will lack applications. Think user-centric. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to synthesize compellingly. We will maximize the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "efficient, open-source". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation but our power to upgrade. We will raise our capacity to empower without decreasing our ability to generate. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack e-markets. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If you unleash vertically, you may have to incentivize proactively. Have you ever wanted to incubate your affiliate-based feature set? In one step? Think cyber-mega-user-centric. The capacity to visualize nano-cyber-magnetically leads to the capacity to utilize mega-cyber-proactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "portals" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will integrate the capacity of action-items to e-enable. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and CSS. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be efficient? We will increase our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to redefine. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo realize that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to iterate virtually. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. What does the term "killer" really mean? We think that most B2C portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. The niches factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also generate micro-super-dynamically. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling emerging user communities? At AssCo, we have come to know how to harness perfectly. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based ROI metrics and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to seize. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without B2C, end-to-end convergence, you will lack front-end, user-defined project management management. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. The performance factor is resource-constrained. We will inflate our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our capability to empower. The impactful revolutionary compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. At AssCo, we realize how to harness perfectly. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. The M&A factor is C2C2B. We realize that if you architect super-robustly then you may also facilitate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be robust? If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to deploy virally. What does it really mean to whiteboard "extensibly"? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to extend faithfully. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!