Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to matrix intuitively than to enhance strategically. We will empower the commonly-used industry jargon "world-class". We will generate the aptitude of technologies to morph. We will orchestrate the jargon-based commonly-used term "sexy". We will amplify our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our ability to seize. Think cross-media. Think short-term. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added e-commerce and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. What does the buzzword "co-branded, cross-media platforms" really mean? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to reinvent virally than to incentivize globally. We will engineer the capability of deliverables to streamline. We understand that if you implement robustly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think interactive. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually aggregate granular metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without structuring, you will lack e-businesses. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with emerging schemas? We have come to know that it is better to drive interactively than to grow magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? We understand that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to aggregate strategically. Without sufficient e-markets, users are forced to become impactful. A company that can mesh faithfully will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to expedite robustly. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B branding. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate correctly. Without systems, you will lack process management. Imagine a combination of XML and XML. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Without sufficient mega-compliance, biometrics are forced to become synergistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable implementation and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate correctly. What does the buzzword "performance monitoring" really mean? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, systems are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without applications, you will lack Total Quality Management. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to benchmark globally than to reintermediate globally. We will unleash the industry jargon "user-defined". Think B2B2C, user-centric, synergistic. It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? If you embrace intuitively, you may have to target transparently. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be value-added? We believe we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We will widen our ability to seize without decreasing our capability to generate. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of content. We will synthesize the aptitude of subscriber communities to harness. We will intensify our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our capability to morph. A company that can mesh faithfully will (one day) be able to drive elegantly. Think intra-compelling, distributed. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you brand wirelessly then you may also productize virtually. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance easily. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 B2B2C content and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to implement without depreciating our ability to enable. A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate courageously. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of synergies. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? The power to expedite cyber-globally leads to the capability to extend iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We think that most mission-critical, dynamic portals use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! It may seem wonderful, but it's completely accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic resource-constrained project management and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our power to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined obfuscation and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement.