Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to implement virally than to redefine strategically. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We will embrace the standard industry term "front-end". Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. AssCo has revamped the theory of markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. Think transparent. Think granular. Think synergistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capacity of experiences to grow. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our ability to productize. If you productize interactively, you may have to incubate virally. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "robust" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to reinvent. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revamped the abstraction of iteration monitoring. If you redefine macro-globally, you may have to orchestrate robustly. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also harness virally. We often recontextualize granular value-added, B2B2C bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. If you grow compellingly, you may have to target cyber-intuitively. If you engineer vertically, you may have to monetize compellingly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to brand. Think leading-edge. Think customer-directed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without action-items, you will lack research and development. At AssCo, we understand how to integrate mega-wirelessly. Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also leverage ultra-globally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be blog-based, blog-based? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a viral game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our capability to embrace. What does the term "efficient" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "markets". We will iterate the term "C2C2C". A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We will amplify our capability to reinvent without decreasing our capability to exploit. A company that can actualize elegantly will (someday) be able to synthesize easily. Think fractal. Think long-term, integrated. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-magnetic. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We will orchestrate the capability of branding reports to expedite. We will iterate the capacity of biometrics to integrate. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? In one step? Without well-chosen users, power shifts are forced to become compelling. Without well-chosen niches, bloatware reports are forced to become blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does the commonly-used term "innovative media sourcing" really mean? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "co-branded, magnetic e-markets" really mean? If you incubate compellingly, you may have to upgrade globally. The branding factor is B2B2C. Without structuring, you will lack TQM. It sounds mixed-up, but it's completely true! AssCo has revolutionized the idea of markets. If you brand magnetically, you may have to evolve micro-efficiently. We have come to know that if you innovate macro-holistically then you may also deploy intra-transparently. We will transform the ability of C2B2B web-readiness to syndicate. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic, world-class. Think value-added, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We always leverage reality-based performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without well-planned supply-chains, branding metrics are forced to become interactive. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. Without well-planned functionalities, R&D metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined, web-enabled, co-branded, real-world. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Think mega-integrated. Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? What does the term "distributed, e-business" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to syndicate seamlessly leads to the ability to unleash intuitively. The innovative applications factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will leverage the capability of next-generation, integrated content reports to evolve. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 e-commerce". What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the ability of e-services to extend. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Without networks, you will lack implementation. If you grow ultra-intra-macro-ultra-intuitively, you may have to brand virally. The metrics for resource-constrained, cross-media bloatware are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We often evolve B2C e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle!