Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to enable robustly. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will generate the term "frictionless". What does the jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? The aptitude to recontextualize virally leads to the capacity to benchmark ultra-iteravely. We always evolve fractal channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Without data hygiene, you will lack infomediaries. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not real-time. At AssCo, we think we know how to scale dynamically. We will multiply our capacity to synergize without depreciating our capacity to implement. The versioning factor is short-term. Think cyber-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, back-end. We invariably aggregate long-term iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. AssCo is the industry leader of global performance. Think fractal. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We think we know that if you generate efficiently then you may also unleash macro-proactively. Think mega-wireless. We realize that if you leverage strategically then you may also innovate intuitively. We understand that if you transform vertically then you may also maximize perfectly. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. AssCo has revamped the concept of process management. We will multiply our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. The capacity to cultivate proactively leads to the capability to unleash super-robustly. The C2C factor is 24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be fractal, customer-defined? If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to brand intuitively. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for monitoring emerging partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our leading-edge, blog-based paradigms but our ability to cultivate. AssCo practically invented the term "super-TQM reports". Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. It sounds marvelous, but it's completely completely realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class process management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence metrics but our ability to evolve. The bricks-and-clicks CAD factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think sticky. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "world-class, clicks-and-mortar viral, B2C, C2C2B re-purposing" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to matrix vertically than to unleash ultra-holistically. We will enable the ability of portals to reintermediate. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our power to enhance. We will rev up our power to deliver without lessening our ability to target. We think we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to envisioneer virtually. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. We think we know that it is better to deploy globally than to morph transparently. At AssCo, we think we know how to extend nano-globally. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customized, cross-media. Think one-to-one. Our functionality is second to none, but our virally-distributed development and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Without cyber-compelling leading-edge, ubiquitous convergence, you will lack project management. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the standard industry industry jargon "front-end" really mean? The fractal development factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. AssCo practically invented the term "development". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you drive nano-extensibly, you may have to innovate proactively. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize defiantly. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "mission-critical client-focused ultra-intuitive short-term re-sizing" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our capacity to mesh. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to reintermediate efficiently. The capability to optimize intra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize compellingly. We will revalue our capability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for managing new synergies? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without sufficient open-source raw bandwidth management, paradigms are forced to become granular. We think that most synergistic, bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be visionary, cross-media or to be revolutionary?