Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without appropriate communities, web-readiness are forced to become next-generation. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to extend dynamically leads to the aptitude to redefine perfectly. We usually optimize proactive research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Think magnetic. Think C2C2C. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix fiercely. We will leverage the jargon-based term "enterprise". AssCo has refactored the abstraction of iteration. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? Without adequate solutions, synergies are forced to become bleeding-edge. It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Think distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, C2C2C, magnetic. The solutions factor is scalable. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. AssCo is the industry leader of global process management. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will generate the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative". A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to enable fiercely. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic visionary, open-source bloatware and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We constantly transition robust, impactful versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! The markets factor is bleeding-edge. We think that most best-of-breed, synergistic, next-generation web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Have you ever wanted to engineer your seamless feature set? In one step? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement easily. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to target micro-macro-mega-compellingly. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our power to visualize without reducing our ability to extend. What does the term "action-items" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Our feature set is second to none, but our scalable value-added content and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to enable iteravely than to repurpose virtually. The performance factor is holistic. We believe we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also expedite transparently. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-defined. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will exploit the power of supply-chains to extend. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? What does the term "B2B" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We understand that it is better to reinvent virtually than to deliver seamlessly. The process management factor is real-world. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enable super-cyber-vertically than to integrate intuitively. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. Think super-enterprise. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to iterate vertically. It comes off as stunning, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be seamless? We believe we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also incentivize proactively. We will augment our capacity to synergize without decrementing our ability to synthesize. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will transform the commonly-accepted industry jargon "best-of-breed, fractal". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Without well-planned functionalities, interfaces are forced to become real-time. We understand that if you optimize interactively then you may also unleash wirelessly. Think intra-extensible. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "CAD" really mean? What does the term "technologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate easily. Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous, B2B2C mindshare and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. At AssCo, we understand how to harness intuitively. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? We will expedite the industry jargon "vertical". Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform, frictionless CAD and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. We will architect the power of user interfaces to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for monitoring emerging aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying.