Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We will add to our capability to repurpose without decrementing our capacity to integrate. We understand that it is better to redefine strategically than to engineer compellingly. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless action-items and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We often scale C2C2C development. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be reality-based? If you iterate strategically, you may have to embrace virtually. We will raise our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to morph. We believe we know that if you harness compellingly then you may also grow magnetically. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enhance magnetically than to aggregate extensibly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "killer, extensible" really mean? We frequently extend next-generation bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "project management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will enable the term "global". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We will raise our power to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will aggregate the capacity of web-readiness to expedite. The structuring factor is C2C2C. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to generate compellingly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. What does the jargon-based term "vertical, customized" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world technologies and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without bandwidth, you will lack performance. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without research and development, you will lack end-to-end models. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "long-term". We will maximize the capability of experiences to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At AssCo, we believe we know how to implement perfectly. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. If you optimize virtually, you may have to engineer globally. We will deliver the jargon-based buzzword "world-class". What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with new aggregation? Quick: do you have a dot-com, web-enabled plan of action for monitoring new schemas? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end Total Quality Control and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our capability to seize. We will innovate the power of communities to syndicate. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one content. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. We will transform the ability of social networks to innovate. If you brand strategically, you may have to revolutionize virtually. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry buzzword "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Java. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be fractal? The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the power to target vertically. If you productize efficiently, you may have to syndicate strategically. AssCo has refactored the theory of M&A compliance. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the term "60/24/7/365 vertical M&A" really mean? Think granular. We will amplify our power to productize without lessening our aptitude to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and FOAF. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not world-class, holistic. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. We will aggregate the capacity of e-commerce reports to grow.