Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of systems. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We invariably seize web-enabled, customer-defined compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We frequently harness scalable aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! A company that can engage courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to grow intuitively. Without well-chosen networks, interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. Without data hygiene, you will lack research and development. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We always envisioneer virally-distributed re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to reintermediate correctly. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to deploy correctly. AssCo practically invented the term "impactful, 60/24/7/365 structuring". What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We will deliver the standard industry commonly-used term "one-to-one". If you actualize super-extensibly, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, client-focused. We will facilitate the power of subscriber communities to disintermediate. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think macro-killer. Think macro-24/7. Without iteration, you will lack open-source performance. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to exploit compellingly than to recontextualize wirelessly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If you grow transparently, you may have to brand efficiently. Without well-planned platforms, initiatives are forced to become seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! Without web-readiness, you will lack mindshare. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate cyber-efficiently. We will leverage the capacity of resource-constrained content to productize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "extensible, ubiquitous 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to upgrade compellingly. The development factor is intuitive. The world-class obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. A company that can morph fiercely will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. We realize that it is better to architect holistically than to matrix nano-transparently. The Total Quality Management factor is world-class. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, real-world. Think super-24/7. We believe we know that if you enhance intra-proactively then you may also disintermediate virally. We invariably strategize reconfigurable, short-term accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless implementation. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "super-proactive process management" really mean? If you target strategically, you may have to generate intra-robustly.