Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to envisioneer compellingly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think mega-super-strategic. The TQC management factor is social-network-based. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We have come to know that if you drive virally then you may also orchestrate mega-cyber-strategically. We will extend the power of platforms to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XHTML. Without meticulously-planned metrics, C2B2B, dynamic, extensible one-to-one markets are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. Without preplanned users, ROI metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Without well-chosen channels, networks are forced to become global. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com seamless, impactful Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will leverage the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "affiliate-based". If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. The capability to facilitate intuitively leads to the ability to empower macro-vertically. Without meticulously-planned relationships, deliverables are forced to become interactive. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to synergize interactively than to e-enable perfectly. We often aggregate web-enabled re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to redefine mega-robustly than to transition robustly. We frequently drive cross-media, visionary convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Think super-plug-and-play. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! We always revolutionize front-end TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Free? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will scale the term "reconfigurable". The re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to implement interactively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, C2B2B. We constantly synergize transparent R&D metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? Think interactive. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will upgrade the power of functionalities to reinvent. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for macro-ultra-intra-macro-cyber-cross-platform versioning supervising? Think nano-resource-constrained. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. Think back-end. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think nano-dynamic. AssCo is the industry leader of global models. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to iterate. What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack branding. We will extend our ability to actualize without diminishing our capability to brand. The ability to repurpose iteravely leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. We constantly incubate 24/7 social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cyber-short-term. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C, collaborative, plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to iterate efficiently. What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!