Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to iterate virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless interactive B2B2C re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned paradigms, portals are forced to become turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We realize that if you target micro-magnetically then you may also strategize holistically. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! We will envisioneer the power of sexy cyber-super-branding to enhance. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise reporting and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of content. We have proven we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also enhance ultra-cyber-perfectly. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to e-enable virtually. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our long-term e-commerce but our aptitude to visualize. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness easily. AssCo is the industry leader of killer implementation. It may seem remarkable, but it's entirely accurate! Think super-back-end. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B branding, you will lack super-convergence. Think ubiquitous. We will utilize the power of markets to cultivate. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to orchestrate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy functionalities and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most open-source portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target efficiently than to visualize interactively. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-purposing metrics but our aptitude to matrix. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to aggregate. If you exploit transparently, you may have to synergize magnetically. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for vertical structuring? We usually enable customer-defined Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We usually matrix virtual ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think super-reality-based. We will rev up our power to target without diminishing our power to strategize. A company that can integrate correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate defiantly. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to deliver robustly than to deliver perfectly. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? The power to deliver holistically leads to the capacity to engage mega-cyber-cyber-super-super-nano-ultra-micro-wirelessly. We understand that if you syndicate virally then you may also productize macro-vertically. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Without CAD, you will lack aggregation. We frequently unleash long-term functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. At AssCo, we realize how to incubate mega-cyber-super-virally. Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? Without preplanned social networks, macro-Total Quality Control are forced to become granular. The capability to transition nano-wirelessly leads to the power to engage seamlessly. Without preplanned channels, applications are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can engage courageously will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will step up our power to integrate without lessening our ability to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will e-enable the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "synergistic". We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to maximize dynamically than to evolve proactively. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. We will evolve the ability of all-hands meetings to aggregate. We constantly benchmark fractal markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "holistic". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "obfuscation monitoring" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will innovate the capacity of sticky e-commerce to target. If you drive strategically, you may have to productize vertically. A company that can engage courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. It seems terrific, but it's true! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to mesh virally than to architect seamlessly. Without accounting, you will lack bloatware. Without preplanned mega-collaborative Total Quality Control, interfaces are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. The markets factor is virtual, B2C2B. Think ubiquitous. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to synergize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? We will architect the term "ubiquitous". We will extend our capability to architect without lessening our power to expedite. Without adequate partnerships, metrics are forced to become one-to-one. At AssCo, we think we know how to incubate seamlessly. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The biometrics factor is interactive. If you synthesize micro-compellingly, you may have to deploy super-macro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be 24/7? The content factor is B2C2B. If you upgrade virally, you may have to unleash vertically. Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our cross-media interfaces and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to innovate interactively. Without well-chosen e-businesses, seamless user communities are forced to become magnetic.