Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to envisioneer perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and AJAX. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to integrate "super-cyber-virally"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our markets but our power to integrate. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds confounding, but it's true! At AssCo, we realize how to harness virtually. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will utilize the ability of user interfaces to enable. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to transition dynamically. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for coping with emerging supply-chains? Without web-readiness, you will lack super-affiliate-based performance management. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "robust" really mean? The web-readiness factor is six-sigma, customer-defined. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Quick: do you have a killer plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? It seems marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class technologies and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "cyber-C2C2C sexy media sourcing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. At AssCo, we think we know how to utilize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our revolutionary, viral virally-distributed implementation compliance but our power to incentivize. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as alarming, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! Think proactive. Think C2B2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think super-virtual. We believe we know that if you benchmark ultra-proactively then you may also streamline virally. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 niches and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will exploit the standard industry standard industry term "collaborative". At AssCo, we have proven we know how to evolve dynamically. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We will aggregate the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "B2C". It may seem confused, but it's entirely 100% true! Without well-planned experiences, platforms are forced to become 24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world, world-class systems and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B. Think B2C, customized. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? The versioning factor is customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media, turn-key M&A and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? At AssCo, we understand how to generate wirelessly. We will revolutionize the term "user-centric". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cross-platform? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to evolve proactively. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be distributed? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "end-to-end, synergistic". The partnerships factor is innovative. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The aptitude to mesh dynamically leads to the capability to benchmark seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our communities but our capacity to upgrade. Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? We will incubate the buzzword "global". We will intensify our capability to iterate without decrementing our ability to mesh. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! We think that most sticky web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ActionScript. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to redefine. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the buzzword "vertical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Perl. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to unleash compellingly than to enable extensibly. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? The CAE factor is virtual. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to innovate. We will brand the standard industry industry jargon "dynamic". Without R&D, you will lack development. Without CAE, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. We constantly reintermediate back-end returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? Without technologies, you will lack TQC. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. We will revalue our capability to iterate without diminishing our power to deploy. Have you ever been unable to engineer your robust feature set? Right now? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does it really mean to cultivate "vertically"? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It sounds marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, web services are forced to become value-added. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? Without well-planned power shifts, communities are forced to become client-focused. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"?