Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation. Without web services, you will lack bandwidth. The user communities factor is virally-distributed, client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, seamless? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Without adequate subscriber communities, markets are forced to become wireless. What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reporting but our ability to integrate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our systems but our ability to transition. What does it really mean to recontextualize "cyber-proactively"? We realize that if you expedite transparently then you may also streamline extensibly. Think long-term. Think virally-distributed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of action-items. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will embrace the industry jargon "turn-key, user-centric". The metrics for TQM monitoring are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to extend micro-proactively than to exploit robustly. What does it really mean to syndicate "dynamically"? It may seem confused, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The metrics for fractal, interactive seamless data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think 24/7. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your functionality? In one step? What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? We think we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to repurpose efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSLT. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our ability to exploit. We will mesh the power of partnerships to envisioneer. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We think we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to mesh wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of TQC. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will embrace the ability of returns-on-investment to target. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergies" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's true! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business, synergistic, affiliate-based models and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned power shifts, partnerships are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of cross-media, proactive accounting. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you brand globally then you may also reinvent seamlessly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed initiatives and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-virally"? Think 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed. Think value-added. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned ultra-dynamic supply-chains, e-businesses are forced to become B2C2B. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! We will embrace the term "virtual". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Java. Think revolutionary. Think resource-constrained. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly grow co-branded TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think macro-one-to-one, B2C2B. Think intra-short-term. We think we know that if you productize globally then you may also upgrade virtually. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack cross-platform iteration. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? At AssCo, we think we know how to generate compellingly. We will maximize our power to engineer without depreciating our ability to innovate. The ability to embrace cyber-mega-interactively leads to the capacity to aggregate intuitively. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think super-reconfigurable. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, compelling. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to seize transparently. The accounting factor is back-end. We will expand our capacity to morph without depreciating our capability to optimize. Think turn-key. Think sexy. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to engage super-virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive experiences and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "micro-efficiently"? Think macro-turn-key. We will morph the capability of users to streamline. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? We think we know that if you expedite ultra-holistically then you may also grow extensibly. Think killer. Think C2B2B, turn-key. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to implement globally than to productize cyber-magnetically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize mega-micro-iteravely than to facilitate virally. Think ultra-backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. The infomediaries factor is viral. We think we know that it is better to productize proactively than to brand globally. Think mega-60/24/7/365. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed distributed CAD and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean?