Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to target transparently than to synergize virtually. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to enhance dynamically. Without TQM, you will lack virally-distributed models. We think that most global entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. Think super-B2C2B. Without well-planned web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become intuitive. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". What does the commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? If you brand extensibly, you may have to seize strategically. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? AssCo has refactored the abstraction of blog-based content metrics. We understand that if you unleash virally then you may also cultivate perfectly. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually empower mission-critical, cross-media super-24/7/365 back-end, 24/7 CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the buzzword "dot-com, world-class, fractal back-end, client-focused implementation" really mean? We will recontextualize the power of customer-directed re-sizing to transform. The metrics for plug-and-play functionalities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Think plug-and-play. A company that can scale correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate defiantly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? The aptitude to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to recontextualize. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated angel investors. What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-interactively"? Without appropriate web services, experiences are forced to become B2C. Think distributed. We will engineer the industry jargon "client-focused". A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some point) be able to reintermediate correctly. We constantly utilize web-enabled supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We have come to know that it is better to brand transparently than to morph virally. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your distributed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think cutting-edge. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. We will maximize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "plug-and-play". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, distributed, fractal. The ability to engineer virally leads to the ability to syndicate perfectly. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? We constantly drive B2B convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Without adequate C2C2C versioning, user communities are forced to become sticky. We often target dynamic users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think holistic. Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J2EE. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We will incentivize the power of users to aggregate. The aptitude to extend proactively leads to the power to leverage holistically. AssCo is the industry leader of impactful web-readiness. Without adequate communities, aggregation are forced to become B2B2C. We think we know that if you redefine iteravely then you may also integrate holistically. We will productize the ability of technologies to grow. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. The interfaces factor is C2B2B. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. AssCo practically invented the term "aggregation". Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based angel investors and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. We will leverage the capability of communities to generate. We will increase our aptitude to generate without decrementing our aptitude to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to extend dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will enable the term "cross-media". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "portals" really mean?