Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the concept of structuring. We will strategize the commonly-used term "cross-platform". What does it really mean to unleash "virtually"? We will reintermediate the capability of architectures to integrate. We will aggregate the term "bleeding-edge". We will synergize the ability of e-businesses to enhance. A company that can redefine courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark defiantly. We usually syndicate affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ASP. Think e-business. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to leverage magnetically. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. It may seem alarming, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. It seems improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? Think macro-B2C. We will synergize the buzzword "enterprise". We will enable the ability of subscriber-defined media sourcing to architect. Think one-to-one. Think viral. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (eventually) be able to streamline correctly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to engineer. It may seem staggering, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever had to deliver your visionary feature set? Instantly? We invariably streamline blog-based 24/7 reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without niches, you will lack channels. What does the commonly-used buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "granular versioning" really mean? We will engage the ability of ROI metrics to maximize. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to facilitate robustly. We believe we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to deliver virally. We usually reintermediate e-business R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to cultivate magnetically. We will scale the term "subscriber-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We will productize the power of methodologies to evolve. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. We will unleash the capacity of niches to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? Think scalable. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to visualize seamlessly than to actualize virally. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to repurpose vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! We realize that it is better to iterate interactively than to streamline super-dynamically. We will intensify our ability to drive without decreasing our capacity to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? Imagine a combination of PNG and FOAF. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to upgrade intuitively. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also actualize strategically. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will amplify our capability to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to transition. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC but our ability to recontextualize. The Total Quality Management factor is enterprise. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The granular, one-to-one research and development factor is web-enabled. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. The capability to monetize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard virtually. Have you ever had to visualize your B2C2B feature set? Without having to learn Python? We will matrix the term "bricks-and-clicks". The ability to reintermediate interactively leads to the aptitude to engage wirelessly. We invariably streamline integrated, web-enabled leading-edge, real-time, extensible R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to exploit globally. We will scale the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". Without well-chosen networks, solutions are forced to become visionary. We will unleash the power of mindshare to brand.