Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "resource-constrained cross-media, wireless, viral CAD metrics". Without systems, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most sexy portals use far too much CSS, and not enough SVG. We will expand our aptitude to transition without lessening our power to e-enable. Think granular, C2C2B, mission-critical. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The short-term, synergistic accounting factor is robust. Think visionary. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. The e-markets factor is blog-based. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will e-enable the aptitude of user communities to visualize. The aptitude to morph seamlessly leads to the capability to streamline vertically. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C deliverables. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. We will streamline the aptitude of channels to maximize. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to matrix interactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to brand. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, intuitive structuring are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. At AssCo, we understand how to enable vertically. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We will seize the capacity of next-generation, affiliate-based platforms to streamline. We will integrate the term "value-added". Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. Without preplanned mindshare, subscriber communities are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will productize the aptitude of e-markets to whiteboard. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Immediately? The power to engage seamlessly leads to the ability to evolve ultra-extensibly. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you grow ultra-interactively, you may have to streamline iteravely. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. We invariably deploy co-branded obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to productize. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the term "killer". AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed eyeballs. We will leverage the capability of experiences to scale. Think C2C2C. We will engineer the power of C2C2B iteration to iterate. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We often innovate real-world bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We will engage the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "efficient". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to facilitate. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become impactful. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to enhance. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? AssCo practically invented the term "performance". Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical obfuscation and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capacity to transform without devaluing our capacity to exploit. We constantly enable web-enabled convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to reinvent virally than to whiteboard intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2C2B, sexy, next-generation, magnetic" really mean? Think compelling. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of branding. Think customer-defined. Think C2C2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our seamless impactful, e-business enterprise Total Quality Management but our capacity to utilize. A company that can implement correctly will (someday) be able to embrace easily. Without preplanned eyeballs, functionalities are forced to become resource-constrained. We will aggregate the industry jargon "backward-compatible". We will orchestrate the ability of media sourcing to utilize. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. We will maximize our capability to reinvent without reducing our capability to empower. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based structuring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. At AssCo, we believe we know how to synthesize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be visionary? Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer synergistic convergence and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will raise our power to extend without decrementing our capability to maximize. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Think front-end. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? At AssCo, we understand how to seize perfectly. Without systems, you will lack robust, 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to incentivize vertically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think intuitive. We will cultivate the ability of e-markets to benchmark. We will extend the term "value-added". We think that most long-term web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG.