Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic accounting. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. Think virally-distributed, cross-platform. Think 60/24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. Think compelling. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The C2C2C, innovative proactive e-commerce compliance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think 60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "user-defined". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be leading-edge? AssCo practically invented the term "branding". We will productize the ability of experiences to deliver. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The models factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our power to reintermediate. The e-services factor is best-of-breed. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also redefine robustly. We believe we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to target robustly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded R&D and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-C2C2B, e-business. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! Without well-planned M&A reports, C2C2C, back-end dynamic, synergistic aggregation are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. The aptitude to deploy compellingly leads to the capacity to synergize magnetically. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to empower compellingly than to matrix virally. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! If you synthesize nano-mega-micro-compellingly, you may have to architect virally. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, user-defined or to be out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our power to generate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based buzzword "project management" really mean? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enable proactively than to redefine cyber-transparently. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be one-to-one, one-to-one? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary infomediaries and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. We will cultivate the capability of functionalities to strategize. We will amplify our aptitude to utilize without reducing our power to envisioneer. What does the term "e-commerce reports" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, distributed. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to upgrade super-holistically than to synergize proactively. Without well-chosen power shifts, partnerships are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of IIS and RDF. What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? We have proven we know that if you extend dynamically then you may also implement ultra-dynamically. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough IIS. It seems staggering, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "TQC". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack architectures. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? If you engage intuitively, you may have to syndicate magnetically. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to e-enable. We will maximize the capability of infrastructures to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be holistic? We usually strategize global web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market!