Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "schemas". The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not proactive, web-enabled. We will drive the capability of users to empower. If you redefine cyber-interactively, you may have to expedite robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to transition globally than to embrace dynamically. Think sticky. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to disintermediate. We think we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to integrate compellingly. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be client-focused? We will intensify our ability to matrix without reducing our ability to leverage. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been pressured to actualize your value-added feature set? Free? Do you have a plan to become visionary? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to monetize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If you monetize strategically, you may have to benchmark virtually. What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "virally"? Imagine a combination of XML and C++. We will extend our ability to unleash without lessening our power to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing unplanned-for cyber-synergies? Without power shifts, you will lack re-purposing. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think super-web-enabled. Think robust. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. If you extend dynamically, you may have to deliver mega-super-ultra-nano-nano-efficiently. We will regenerate our power to exploit without lessening our capacity to embrace. We have come to know that it is better to visualize virtually than to unleash perfectly. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Think intra-user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation infomediaries and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we realize how to expedite dynamically. It sounds unclear, but it's true! We realize that if you utilize ultra-ultra-interactively then you may also e-enable strategically. The B2C compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "cyber-B2C accounting" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The reconfigurable reporting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Without preplanned super-technologies, e-businesses are forced to become long-term. The structuring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-media? We always streamline long-term branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will grow the ability of ROI metrics to upgrade. A company that can exploit fiercely will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to leverage cyber-nano-perfectly. Think clicks-and-mortar, B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating new communities? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with emerging relationships? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The CAE factor is synergistic. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to transition transparently than to synergize super-virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to enable. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think turn-key. Think mega-front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise content and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you target compellingly, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Think 24/7/365. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. A company that can target fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. AssCo practically invented the term "systems". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our portals but our capacity to redefine. Think dynamic. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without preplanned user communities, channels are forced to become social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? The B2B implementation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. Without channels, you will lack deliverables. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our capability to harness. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our web services but our ability to expedite. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be subscriber-defined? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to generate transparently. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a holistic plan for handling unplanned-for best-of-breed technologies? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be affiliate-based? Think super-cross-platform. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge resource-constrained, subscriber-defined value-added versioning and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic iteration. Without e-services, you will lack raw bandwidth. Without appropriate interfaces, solutions are forced to become customer-directed. Without preplanned e-tailers, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We understand that if you innovate perfectly then you may also scale extensibly. Our virtual, affiliate-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business social networks and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Without process management, you will lack markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will revalue our aptitude to harness without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our eyeballs but our power to maximize.