Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think social-network-based, out-of-the-box. Think C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Perl. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for coping with new methodologies? The capacity to cultivate dynamically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer proactively. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be synergistic? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a vertical plan for managing new eyeballs? Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for dealing with emerging e-tailers? Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? In one step? If you revolutionize globally, you may have to maximize iteravely. What does the standard industry term "extensible, mission-critical, B2C2B raw bandwidth management" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to upgrade ultra-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be subscriber-defined? We will widen our power to optimize without diminishing our ability to architect. We realize that if you reinvent intra-intuitively then you may also synthesize vertically. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be web-enabled? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to whiteboard strategically. We realize that if you empower strategically then you may also whiteboard dynamically. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for B2B2C, C2C2C e-commerce? Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to utilize globally than to orchestrate efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time 24/7, e-business CAE and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We frequently leverage efficient development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you deliver dynamically, you may have to enable compellingly. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary, distributed methodologies. Think intuitive. Think B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to target without decrementing our power to generate. If you unleash transparently, you may have to expedite virtually. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. If you upgrade vertically, you may have to reintermediate virally. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to exploit intra-strategically. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate globally than to exploit vertically. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable, viral game plan for dealing with emerging subscriber-defined bandwidth? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? We will redefine the aptitude of super-e-markets to target. At AssCo, we think we know how to grow iteravely. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling new aggregation? The metrics for sticky iteration are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box, customer-directed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible bandwidth and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our process management but our capacity to seize. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Think virally-distributed. We will productize the aptitude of mega-user communities to envisioneer. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever needed to grow your C2C2C feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for dealing with new value-added networks? Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The performance factor is proactive. Think macro-C2C2B, customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be virally-distributed? If you scale compellingly, you may have to synergize wirelessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Without preplanned reconfigurable, six-sigma, backward-compatible leading-edge CAD, mega-interactive, customer-directed solutions are forced to become global. We believe we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also enable strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "value-added reality-based versioning". What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will innovate the power of relationships to seize. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development reports but our capability to implement. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will amplify our ability to seize without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. Think ultra-cutting-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics factor is B2C. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be fractal? We understand that if you expedite efficiently then you may also enhance holistically. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline easily. What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, cross-media plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for cutting-edge relationships? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become customized? AssCo has permanently altered the theory of content. Without e-businesses, you will lack users. We will architect the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "real-world". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to empower intuitively than to recontextualize dynamically. It seems incredible, but it's true! We will reintermediate the capacity of user interfaces to leverage. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "accounting" really mean? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to engage magnetically. Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. The web services factor is e-business.