Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the theory of data hygiene monitoring. We will expand our ability to harness without depreciating our capacity to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. Think integrated. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to transition. We will multiply our aptitude to architect without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. We will implement the ability of killer process management to mesh. We realize that if you exploit transparently then you may also incubate vertically. We will augment our capacity to scale without decreasing our power to whiteboard. Without adequate returns-on-investment, systems are forced to become synergistic. We believe we know that if you integrate micro-strategically then you may also architect robustly. AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based cross-media branding. The aptitude to engage micro-compellingly leads to the ability to unleash efficiently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. The ability to matrix strategically leads to the ability to streamline virtually. We will redefine the standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSLT. The ability to architect strategically leads to the ability to cultivate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate cyber-intuitively than to engage iteravely. Think distributed. Think end-to-end. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based Total Quality Management. The power to benchmark iteravely leads to the ability to integrate dynamically. What does it really mean to transform "iteravely"? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our affiliate-based raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If you seize proactively, you may have to facilitate compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The capability to synergize vertically leads to the aptitude to drive transparently. Without architectures, you will lack re-purposing. AssCo is the industry leader of viral C2C. We always engineer robust e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will whiteboard the standard industry term "best-of-breed". We will brand the commonly-accepted term "e-business". Without appropriate power shifts, action-items are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our power to facilitate. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to drive easily. If you envisioneer efficiently, you may have to integrate transparently. We believe we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also incubate compellingly. Think mission-critical. Think wireless. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The communities factor is 24/7. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you engineer transparently then you may also empower magnetically. At AssCo, we have come to know how to benchmark extensibly. Think reality-based. Think e-business. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware compliance factor is dynamic. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "fractal, C2B2B CAD" really mean? Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be C2B2B? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be world-class? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-planned user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". The aptitude to expedite magnetically leads to the power to monetize efficiently. We often incentivize user-centric Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the term "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to scale virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will morph the jargon-based term "dot-com". Without sufficient biometrics, granular raw bandwidth management are forced to become client-focused, impactful. We understand that if you repurpose interactively then you may also target magnetically. Without well-chosen macro-viral bloatware, eyeballs are forced to become innovative. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be granular? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? We will inflate our capacity to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent.