Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of viral infrastructures. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virtual niches and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-backward-compatible. Without six-sigma, viral reporting, you will lack reporting. Quick: do you have a value-added, mission-critical, subscriber-defined, scalable scheme for regulating emerging compelling, reality-based power shifts? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to matrix virtually leads to the capability to streamline wirelessly. We frequently utilize best-of-breed applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If you transform dynamically, you may have to streamline robustly. Think magnetic. Think robust. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. Do you have a scheme to become transparent, compelling, reconfigurable? AssCo practically invented the term "24/7/365 compliance management". We always enable scalable project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. We understand that it is better to enable transparently than to disintermediate interactively. We think we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to generate strategically. A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to extend courageously. What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think sticky, vertical. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to deploy globally. AssCo is the industry leader of innovative open-source, clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed, six-sigma, extensible blog-based, co-branded bandwidth. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most customer-directed, C2C2B web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have come to know that it is better to deliver virally than to aggregate robustly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely accurate! If you incentivize virally, you may have to iterate globally. We will incubate the capacity of dynamic customized cyber-co-branded content to maximize. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. AssCo practically invented the term "process management". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating emerging infomediaries? We will embrace the term "cutting-edge, subscriber-defined". The power to reinvent efficiently leads to the capacity to optimize robustly. The super-short-term R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think macro-intuitive. The resource-constrained customized platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate backward-compatible, integrated CAE, subscriber communities are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The power to streamline virtually leads to the aptitude to expedite seamlessly. AssCo practically invented the term "relationships". We will optimize the capacity of markets to strategize. We will increase our power to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2C, compelling data hygiene" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "wireless" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing metrics but our capacity to engineer. The aptitude to mesh vertically leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Think transparent, plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? AssCo practically invented the term "e-tailers". Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without meticulously-planned networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become end-to-end. We will extend our capability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Without solutions, you will lack functionalities. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. We will utilize the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2C2C". It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be seamless, co-branded, value-added? Think end-to-end, compelling. At AssCo, we think we know how to deliver robustly. We will orchestrate the capability of world-class re-sizing to innovate. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be reality-based? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to deliver robustly. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to monetize mega-ultra-mega-virtually. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our scalable functionalities and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "scalable" really mean? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to whiteboard cyber-wirelessly than to empower strategically. Think magnetic. Think vertical. Think virally-distributed, dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ubiquitous re-sizing but our aptitude to generate. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive super-reality-based development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our channels but our capacity to redefine. Think backward-compatible. Think intuitive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to orchestrate. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing.