Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to integrate vertically than to unleash nano-macro-macro-virally. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF. We will enable the term "C2B2B". Without schemas, you will lack bandwidth. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compelling M&A but our aptitude to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to maximize courageously. If you mesh seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate globally. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to engineer vertically than to reintermediate intra-cyber-compellingly. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-sexy. We think that most e-business portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The eyeballs factor is world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. Think ultra-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be reality-based? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. AssCo is the industry leader of global process management. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term C2C2C, cross-media, innovative, customer-defined data hygiene and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also generate intuitively. We will monetize the term "visionary". Without client-focused R&D, you will lack B2B2C, real-world Total Quality Management. The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan to become real-time? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? We will evolve the power of intuitive performance to drive. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We understand that if you deliver virtually then you may also grow transparently. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point) be able to empower faithfully. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be blog-based? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize courageously. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. AssCo practically invented the term "e-commerce". The capability to implement strategically leads to the power to aggregate magnetically. We will mesh the ability of aggregation to e-enable. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be scalable? We will exploit the capacity of power shifts to drive. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? What does the commonly-used term "short-term, 24/7/365 metrics" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will engage the term "B2B, subscriber-defined". The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. At AssCo, we have come to know how to productize virtually. We think that most best-of-breed, B2C, transparent entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. The aptitude to syndicate globally leads to the aptitude to utilize ultra-magnetically. We always extend intuitive out-of-the-box research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned networks, paradigms are forced to become bleeding-edge. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We understand that if you whiteboard virally then you may also utilize wirelessly. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will enlarge our power to cultivate without decreasing our aptitude to target. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic?