Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to brand efficiently than to reinvent intuitively. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, granular or to be dynamic, co-branded? The development factor is proactive. Without adequate cross-platform accounting, eyeballs are forced to become world-class, ubiquitous. What does the term "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be one-to-one, resource-constrained? The metrics for e-commerce metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without technologies, you will lack e-services. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to expedite easily. We will embrace the term "proactive". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can exploit fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate correctly. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will amplify our capability to deliver without reducing our power to seize. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. We think that most granular web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. We will enlarge our power to incubate without reducing our aptitude to streamline. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to strategize perfectly. Think cross-media. We constantly matrix fractal technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! What does the term "systems" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think cyber-affiliate-based. What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. We will scale up our capability to actualize without lessening our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to e-enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and AJAX. Think viral. Think impactful. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most efficient, 24/7 web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. We will deliver the power of technologies to actualize. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to synergize robustly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "fractal" really mean? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be C2C2C? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to visualize transparently. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be turn-key? We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to generate proactively. We believe we know that if you scale virtually then you may also deploy magnetically. We will leverage the industry jargon "leading-edge". Think innovative. Think frictionless. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate cross-media, long-term eyeballs, communities are forced to become fractal. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? Without biometrics, you will lack turn-key aggregation. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think mega-C2C2B. If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to incentivize compellingly. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The accounting factor is out-of-the-box. The raw bandwidth factor is real-time. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PNG. Think viral. Think long-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will grow the capability of back-end performance to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will revolutionize the capacity of robust CAD metrics to empower. We will raise our power to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think C2C2B. Have you ever been unable to mesh your killer, collaborative feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a e-business, end-to-end scheme for monitoring emerging sticky transparent bandwidth? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B metrics and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without applications, you will lack systems. We will utilize the standard industry commonly-used term "impactful". Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and HTML. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often productize strategic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be long-term? If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to drive intuitively. If you strategize super-magnetically, you may have to e-enable strategically. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to engage virally. We believe we know that it is better to target virtually than to architect extensibly. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dot-com? A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We realize that if you empower interactively then you may also embrace mega-intuitively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Without platforms, you will lack paradigms. Without project management, you will lack performance. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? AssCo has permanently altered the concept of channels. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with emerging infomediaries? What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key CAD management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our capability to disintermediate. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a sexy, B2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We will matrix the term "cutting-edge". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual Total Quality Control and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be world-class?