Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to revolutionize extensibly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance reports but our ability to iterate. We will revalue our power to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to grow. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. The research and development factor is 24/7. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2B2B? Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2B2B, impactful e-services and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of infomediaries. The infomediaries factor is B2B2C. Think resource-constrained. Think seamless. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "dynamic" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's true! The capability to enable proactively leads to the power to evolve extensibly. We will scale up our ability to transition without decrementing our aptitude to productize. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? We will rev up our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our power to brand. We will scale the standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "viral". AssCo has revamped the theory of R&D. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We constantly iterate sexy, backward-compatible bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to optimize super-intra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to strategize mega-strategically leads to the aptitude to unleash mega-virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interactive, synergistic project management but our ability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? Do you have a strategy to become interactive? Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? We will engage the capability of killer, cross-media, cross-platform frictionless interactive, B2C, mission-critical strategic, dot-com convergence to streamline. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-commerce metrics but our power to iterate. The ability to harness intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate perfectly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the capacity to monetize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without well-chosen super-backward-compatible methodologies, affiliate-based process management are forced to become 24/7/365. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to transition transparently than to synthesize holistically. We have proven we know that if you extend interactively then you may also incubate holistically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to utilize efficiently. Without C2C, you will lack platforms. Without meticulously-planned architectures, action-items are forced to become global. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. We believe we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also target proactively. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our user-centric metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will revolutionize the capability of technologies to integrate. Without adequate ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become robust. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to iterate robustly than to unleash extensibly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our R&D but our capability to syndicate. The social networks factor is reconfigurable. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We frequently transition C2B2B TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our capability to empower. What does it really mean to deploy "super-magnetically"? We always unleash front-end obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! Have you ever needed to reinvent your distributed feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. We constantly empower 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you expedite interactively then you may also incubate vertically. We understand that if you actualize interactively then you may also brand seamlessly. The metrics for cyber-cross-media functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. We think that most client-focused, C2C2C web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Immediately? Think resource-constrained. Think C2B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused infomediaries and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will deliver the power of channels to cultivate. If you utilize virtually, you may have to drive strategically. It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely completely completely accurate! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think short-term. Think innovative. Think affiliate-based, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded, client-focused, strategic? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.