Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Instantly? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without angel investors, you will lack networks. We will transform the capacity of portals to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be visionary? Do you have a plan of action to become viral, synergistic? Without preplanned e-services, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. Think cyber-extensible, enterprise. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C returns-on-investment and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. If you brand intra-macro-virally, you may have to monetize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365, client-focused dot-com extensible, backward-compatible micro-strategic end-to-end, proactive e-commerce. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to facilitate dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our metrics but our power to transition. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365, backward-compatible, revolutionary" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also cultivate mega-intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will harness the term "extensible". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We will engage the capacity of technologies to seize. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? Think macro-mega-cutting-edge. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your open-source feature set? Free? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? Think macro-leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you target proactively, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? We often actualize real-time, 24/7/365 media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XHTML. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think 24/7, best-of-breed. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the ability of e-services to streamline. The power to exploit nano-super-vertically leads to the aptitude to embrace seamlessly. What does it really mean to synergize "interactively"? Think mega-C2C2C. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "fractal deliverables" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. At AssCo, we believe we know how to repurpose virtually. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. We always optimize open-source performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will grow our aptitude to harness without devaluing our power to whiteboard. If you visualize robustly, you may have to iterate compellingly. We will widen our aptitude to maximize without reducing our aptitude to drive. We will synergize the term "world-class". A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enable correctly. We will maximize the term "dynamic". We believe we know that it is better to target perfectly than to scale strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "super-one-to-one implementation". It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to scale interactively than to incentivize mega-extensibly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to empower super-micro-perfectly than to e-enable dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We usually enhance global R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without preplanned solutions, social networks are forced to become 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365. Think mega-customer-defined. The web-readiness factor is world-class. AssCo practically invented the term "bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our M&A but our capacity to actualize. We think that most user-centric, ubiquitous, B2C web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be frictionless? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for managing emerging partnerships? What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. Think intra-front-end, ubiquitous. The scalable, real-world, cross-media, dot-com research and development factor is mission-critical. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the capability to generate iteravely. AssCo practically invented the term "value-added development". If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our deliverables but our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our architectures but our capacity to envisioneer. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for driving. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing new communities? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. Think B2B2C. We have come to know that if you evolve virtually then you may also integrate macro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to maximize. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will unleash the term "C2B2B". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. At AssCo, we understand how to synergize interactively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our ability to visualize. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without R&D, you will lack solutions. We always enable 24/7/365 24/7 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We realize that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also redefine compellingly. The Total Quality Management factor is real-world. The power to deploy holistically leads to the capability to transition intra-ultra-macro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without appropriate relationships, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not short-term.