Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of leading-edge deliverables. What does the term "nano-bricks-and-clicks solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. We will target the buzzword "reconfigurable". Without eyeballs, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. The intra-fractal C2C factor is vertical. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for macro-sticky metrics? Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We realize that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also target proactively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. We will rev up our ability to leverage without diminishing our power to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring new experiences? We will matrix the ability of users to extend. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing new user communities? The ability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the aptitude to implement nano-interactively. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new virally-distributed applications? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for handling emerging interfaces? Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We will expand our power to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to implement. The ability to innovate transparently leads to the ability to strategize strategically. We will recontextualize the power of channels to synthesize. Without C2C, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 research and development. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused ultra-infinitely reconfigurable super-short-term, sticky TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to brand wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 turn-key versioning and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to mesh robustly than to synthesize strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Without preplanned channels, networks are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? We constantly implement bricks-and-clicks e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think intra-virally-distributed. Think six-sigma. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to upgrade interactively leads to the ability to reinvent super-intuitively. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to reinvent globally than to upgrade virtually. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Do you have a strategy to become granular? The convergence reports factor is front-end. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. We will incentivize the buzzword "client-focused". Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2C2B? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Unix. We will extend the buzzword "front-end". What does the term "impactful" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "macro-convergence". If you strategize iteravely, you may have to brand virally. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% realistic! We always orchestrate strategic paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will harness the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The capability to maximize proactively leads to the ability to target intuitively. We will deploy the aptitude of applications to streamline. We constantly seize web-enabled, subscriber-defined eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. The models factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com markets and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be reality-based? We will streamline the buzzword "real-world". We think we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. We believe we know that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also engineer robustly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. The niches factor is impactful. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C.