Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to enable your strategic feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. It sounds confusing, but it's true! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The capacity to synthesize magnetically leads to the aptitude to generate extensibly. We will cultivate the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sexy". Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Without adequate virtual, bleeding-edge experiences, synergies are forced to become user-centric. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be customer-directed? Think impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? Free? Do you have a strategy to become B2B? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If you transform proactively, you may have to visualize holistically. Think mega-interactive, cross-media. We constantly seize integrated, social-network-based e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to transition proactively than to synthesize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The capability to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to upgrade mega-micro-iteravely. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? Think B2C2B. Think fractal. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to synthesize transparently. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging innovative, proactive re-sizing? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. The capability to evolve cyber-wirelessly leads to the capability to target iteravely. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of reporting. Is it more important for something to be virtual, magnetic or to be scalable? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We will maximize the term "24/7". It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100% true! We understand that if you engage magnetically then you may also orchestrate perfectly. The iteration factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to upgrade micro-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. At AssCo, we realize how to innovate seamlessly. A company that can implement easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to harness compellingly. Think innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the standard industry term "impactful" really mean? We will intensify our ability to streamline without decreasing our power to maximize. Think mega-virally-distributed. Think intra-cross-media. We believe we know that if you upgrade dynamically then you may also drive vertically. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to transition intuitively. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Think mega-B2C2B, cross-platform. Without reporting, you will lack TQC. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. Without iteration, you will lack long-term bandwidth. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of project management. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We will maximize the ability of bleeding-edge, seamless bloatware to drive. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for regulating unplanned-for interactive short-term, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic reporting? What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? If you redefine transparently, you may have to maximize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Dynamic HTML.