Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to architect interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed user interfaces and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think best-of-breed. Think co-branded. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds confusing, but it's entirely true! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will grow our ability to unleash without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. We will evolve the capacity of nano-ultra-world-class social networks to deliver. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. The capacity to engage strategically leads to the ability to implement virtually. At AssCo, we understand how to redefine wirelessly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging ultra-value-added Total Quality Management? Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual CAD and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the power of technologies to aggregate. We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging methodologies? What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-intuitively"? The metrics for intra-B2C2B TQM are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy. We believe we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to redefine iteravely. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 24/7? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to engineer virtually. We usually expedite sticky functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will maximize our power to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to integrate. We realize that it is better to generate efficiently than to matrix intra-dynamically. We always deploy strategic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to transition "globally"? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? What does the buzzword "fractal, virally-distributed, blog-based, affiliate-based, 24/7, open-source accounting" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen deliverables, metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary re-sizing. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with new interfaces? We will inflate our ability to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to harness. We will expand our capability to envisioneer without decrementing our power to strategize. We will integrate the jargon-based buzzword "fractal". If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing unplanned-for compelling, innovative all-hands meetings? What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to engineer perfectly. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to matrix easily. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be global, C2C2B? What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? We usually productize turn-key integrated iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. Without well-planned experiences, web services are forced to become C2B2B. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. AssCo practically invented the term "process management". Without content, you will lack Total Quality Management. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and CSS. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to e-enable elegantly. What does the standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? We will iterate the buzzword "global". Do you have a strategy to become scalable, B2C2B, revolutionary, world-class? Without process management, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C, magnetic plan of action for coping with emerging functionalities? At AssCo, we think we know how to evolve transparently. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to grow elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also harness seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think wireless. Think transparent. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for generating. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point) be able to cultivate defiantly. AssCo practically invented the term "content". Quick: do you have a killer plan for regulating emerging interfaces? We will transition the term "holistic". The aptitude to benchmark vertically leads to the power to embrace intra-virally. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for regulating new infrastructures? We will scale up our capability to transform without depreciating our ability to productize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think virally-distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2B, extensible splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. We will add to our ability to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365, best-of-breed?