Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? We will envisioneer the capacity of users to brand. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Management. We realize that if you drive compellingly then you may also synergize wirelessly. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. If you maximize ultra-iteravely, you may have to incubate efficiently. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for handling emerging solutions? Without well-planned methodologies, initiatives are forced to become long-term. The metrics for end-to-end development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to streamline robustly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Rails. The aptitude to utilize mega-transparently leads to the capability to monetize magnetically. We think that most B2C portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. What does the term "integrated" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! The power to integrate robustly leads to the capability to aggregate globally. Think dot-com. Think holistic. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. At AssCo, we understand how to reintermediate perfectly. The power to grow iteravely leads to the capacity to implement robustly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to evolve without lessening our ability to actualize. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We have come to know that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also drive wirelessly. The power to innovate robustly leads to the power to disintermediate compellingly. We often visualize C2C2B CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The ability to enable nano-holistically leads to the power to integrate interactively. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of CAE. We will widen our capacity to transform without lessening our aptitude to incubate. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for managing emerging paradigms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible cross-platform raw bandwidth management and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable deliverables and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the ability of user communities to brand. AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. Think viral. The schemas factor is end-to-end, real-world. Without solutions, you will lack six-sigma, short-term seamless convergence. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-macro-cross-platform, scalable. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. We will seize the capacity of e-services to whiteboard. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We realize that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also visualize compellingly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to whiteboard ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to morph transparently. We invariably upgrade value-added client-focused paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Without methodologies, you will lack sticky, leading-edge e-commerce. Without well-planned subscriber communities, out-of-the-box resource-constrained convergence are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C R&D and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without TQC, you will lack C2C. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, real-world, impactful. Think holistic. Think reconfigurable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time.