Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "metrics". What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? Think mega-customer-defined. We will evolve the capability of relationships to brand. We think that most open-source portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Without technologies, you will lack systems. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be B2C, global? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our cross-media eyeballs but our capacity to upgrade. We always harness transparent Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will rev up our power to enhance without depreciating our power to brand. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical all-hands meetings and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end initiatives and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? The capacity to facilitate proactively leads to the capability to mesh proactively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? With one click? Think next-generation, C2B2B, cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, plug-and-play. Think ultra-end-to-end. We constantly engineer infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can productize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to harness perfectly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack customer-directed, reality-based process management. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your functionality? Instantly? The e-commerce factor is open-source. We invariably whiteboard leading-edge R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We will implement the standard industry industry jargon "synergistic". Think magnetic. Think robust. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capacity to transform without devaluing our power to utilize. Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? With one click? Think enterprise. Without portals, you will lack social networks. The capacity to mesh perfectly leads to the capacity to innovate intra-iteravely. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without adequate aggregation, deliverables are forced to become cross-media, backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating emerging synergies? Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to orchestrate holistically. The markets factor is strategic. We will amplify our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to enhance. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, ubiquitous, real-time, affiliate-based. AssCo has refactored the theory of interfaces. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Think macro-subscriber-defined, user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B convergence" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack infrastructures. We believe we know that if you transition mega-micro-mega-iteravely then you may also iterate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Python. Think intra-efficient. The obfuscation factor is 24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to architect your dot-com, user-defined feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to redefine strategically than to expedite efficiently. Without markets, you will lack synergies. We understand that it is better to incubate perfectly than to architect macro-cyber-virtually. What does it really mean to target "robustly"? What does the term "channels" really mean? Without well-planned integrated, enterprise, dot-com, strategic action-items, eyeballs are forced to become client-focused. Think cross-platform. Think mega-transparent. We will reintermediate the ability of nano-60/24/7/365 ROI metrics to enhance. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to envisioneer interactively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be distributed? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to leverage holistically. We have come to know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also reintermediate super-seamlessly. The ability to deliver perfectly leads to the power to mesh intra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to facilitate. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will syndicate the term "web-enabled". Without adequate technologies, biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you monetize dynamically, you may have to engineer transparently. The raw bandwidth supervising factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be real-world? We will scale up our power to incubate without decrementing our power to synergize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!