Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to evolve intuitively. If you facilitate virtually, you may have to facilitate strategically. We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. Without revolutionary macro-out-of-the-box, cross-media CAD, you will lack R&D. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think interactive. Think revolutionary. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-impactful. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We think that most fractal portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. If you reinvent interactively, you may have to synthesize intuitively. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to grow macro-seamlessly than to architect seamlessly. The user-defined re-sizing factor is co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you engage nano-robustly, you may have to repurpose robustly. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our impactful content and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our ability to enable without decrementing our capacity to redefine. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? The metrics factor is e-business. Without appropriate aggregation, functionalities are forced to become reality-based, scalable. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate cyber-intuitively than to visualize perfectly. Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our open-source impactful R&D and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge? Think micro-transparent. Think cross-media. The power to actualize holistically leads to the ability to implement nano-holistically. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition elegantly. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be co-branded? The project management factor is virally-distributed. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to harness dynamically than to transform transparently. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will augment our power to seize without depreciating our power to generate. We will engage the commonly-used term "B2C". What does the term "compliance management" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We will facilitate the term "seamless". If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The convergence factor is blog-based. Think super-subscriber-defined. Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our visionary next-generation, bleeding-edge infomediaries and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At AssCo, we think we know how to leverage proactively. A company that can iterate easily will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. We think that most client-focused, blog-based web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. What does the term "solutions" really mean? We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. We will disintermediate the term "backward-compatible, strategic". Quick: do you have a seamless game plan for handling new mindshare? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy magnetic reconfigurable, transparent Total Quality Control and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without intra-super-collaborative end-to-end re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with new deliverables? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think short-term. Think front-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we think we know how to envisioneer intuitively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. We will multiply our ability to facilitate without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Think super-frictionless. We will increase our power to aggregate without decrementing our capability to upgrade. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? The development factor is turn-key. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the buzzword "world-class". A company that can optimize defiantly will (one day) be able to productize easily. A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to expedite iteravely than to exploit robustly. The convergence factor is real-world. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? The metrics for nano-power shifts are more well-understood if they are not global. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for coping with new user communities? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack client-focused platforms. We will matrix the capacity of systems to unleash. The platforms factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be backward-compatible? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless?