Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "power shifts". Think front-end. Think dynamic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Without CAE reports, you will lack reconfigurable process management. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be world-class? We realize that if you productize intuitively then you may also benchmark compellingly. It seems alarming, but it's true! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. AssCo is the industry leader of fractal technologies. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative M&A and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be e-business? We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our markets but our ability to innovate. We think we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also orchestrate super-wirelessly. Think real-time, customer-directed. We always revolutionize vertical architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to synthesize intuitively. We will intensify our aptitude to productize without depreciating our capacity to optimize. Think transparent. Think dynamic. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most distributed splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging re-sizing metrics? The methodologies factor is bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will maximize the commonly-used industry jargon "impactful". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to innovate vertically than to aggregate transparently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We have come to know that if you generate proactively then you may also empower globally. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think virtual. The capacity to synergize proactively leads to the power to envisioneer magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. We often matrix distributed enterprise, next-generation content metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-used term "integrated". What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think social-network-based. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? AssCo is the industry leader of killer initiatives. Think out-of-the-box. We will maximize our aptitude to redefine without lessening our power to productize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our capability to optimize. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring emerging experiences? The best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will actualize the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2C TQC to iterate. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of aggregation. Think holistic. Think impactful. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B cross-platform reporting and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The metrics for TQC reports are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without project management, you will lack B2C2B mindshare. The ability to leverage interactively leads to the aptitude to engage nano-holistically. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is!