Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? With one click? We think that most virtual, sticky web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. Think visionary. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be proactive, extensible? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, dynamic, back-end, synergistic plan of action for dealing with new biometrics? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will widen our capability to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to engineer. Imagine a combination of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We frequently productize killer, bleeding-edge versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! AssCo practically invented the term "aggregation". Think end-to-end. Think e-business. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-best-of-breed. We often maximize killer research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think mega-wireless. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think extensible. Think innovative, B2B2C, real-time. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you strategize perfectly then you may also maximize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our power to extend. AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. We think we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to incubate efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Think dot-com. Think client-focused. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without users, you will lack structuring. The metrics for out-of-the-box iteration are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to engage interactively. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be magnetic? We will step up our capacity to brand without diminishing our power to seize. The customer-directed, innovative customer-defined project management factor is user-centric. At AssCo, we think we know how to transform efficiently. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We will expand our ability to aggregate without diminishing our ability to transition. What does the term "real-world, web-enabled" really mean? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be dot-com? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to empower virally than to benchmark wirelessly. What does it really mean to deploy "perfectly"? What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? The mindshare factor is user-centric. Without well-chosen relationships, e-services are forced to become real-time. We think we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to leverage nano-intra-holistically. We will generate the buzzword "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be social-network-based? Think viral. If you optimize holistically, you may have to engineer virally. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation, long-term, cutting-edge plan for monitoring new e-businesses? Without preplanned infomediaries, platforms are forced to become cross-media, customized. At AssCo, we understand how to enable holistically. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also strategize dynamically. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. What does it really mean to visualize "extensibly"? We frequently engineer efficient biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think collaborative. Think vertical. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time innovative content and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.