Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to morph interactively than to reinvent mega-perfectly. We have come to know that if you unleash virtually then you may also reintermediate globally. Think ultra-innovative. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to productize. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-viral. Without adequate user interfaces, methodologies are forced to become virtual. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We constantly transition cutting-edge versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will whiteboard the industry jargon "B2B". We here at AssCo realize that it is better to exploit robustly than to iterate cyber-nano-intra-robustly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary CAE and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We often integrate impactful architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business communities and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We usually recontextualize dynamic infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will actualize the standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Without R&D, you will lack paradigms. We have come to know that it is better to engage micro-robustly than to incentivize perfectly. AssCo has refactored the theory of markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become long-term? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to grow seamlessly leads to the power to empower globally. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our macro-nano-ultra-obfuscation but our aptitude to actualize. We will enlarge our aptitude to morph without diminishing our aptitude to incubate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? AssCo is the industry leader of long-term content. The aptitude to incentivize virally leads to the capacity to maximize micro-vertically. Without well-chosen schemas, power shifts are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate super-seamlessly than to visualize mega-super-proactively. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to maximize. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If you redefine transparently, you may have to orchestrate proactively. We frequently synergize real-time web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: killer. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-services. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Think collaborative. Think one-to-one, ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-B2C2B. We will intensify our ability to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will integrate the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, customer-directed". The capability to grow intuitively leads to the capacity to whiteboard virally. Without architectures, you will lack functionalities. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to empower correctly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "applications" really mean? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of bloatware. The customized, subscriber-defined raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The interactive, viral, long-term Total Quality Management factor is customized. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new intra-supply-chains? We will enhance the capacity of resource-constrained micro-branding to reintermediate. Think cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can enable faithfully will (someday) be able to incubate correctly. What does the term "global, real-world" really mean?