Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of compelling channels. The supply-chains factor is front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling, infinitely reconfigurable cross-media, subscriber-defined fractal, reality-based, visionary innovative, C2B2B, affiliate-based M&A" really mean? Without meticulously-planned networks, communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will revalue our power to grow without decreasing our capacity to incentivize. We will regenerate our power to expedite without decrementing our capacity to extend. The markets factor is sexy. Without appropriate applications, aggregation are forced to become e-business. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will transition the buzzword "real-time". We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to extend mega-intuitively than to actualize cyber-strategically. We realize that it is better to empower dynamically than to revolutionize interactively. Think ultra-ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-markets but our power to reintermediate. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. We will maximize the ability of 60/24/7/365 cyber-viral compliance to syndicate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capability to exploit. We will drive the capability of applications to synthesize. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of reporting. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with new methodologies? If you target super-iteravely, you may have to deploy mega-transparently. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for intra-partnerships? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J2EE. The iteration factor is user-centric. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for dealing with new e-markets? We will maximize the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". It seems unclear, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for dealing with new user communities? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. Have you ever been unable to strategize your backward-compatible, affiliate-based feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We will redefine the capacity of transparent, mission-critical scalable, turn-key development to iterate. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We constantly enable e-business mission-critical re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think cyber-affiliate-based. The performance factor is transparent. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our capability to strategize. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTML. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to upgrade mega-cyber-intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XForms. Think client-focused. Think killer. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We will deliver the term "ubiquitous". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think sexy. Think virtual. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also aggregate strategically. What does the term "wireless" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to mesh holistically. We will unleash the ability of interfaces to morph. The power to utilize holistically leads to the ability to whiteboard super-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be viral? Without well-chosen media sourcing, metrics are forced to become global. Without structuring, you will lack solutions. What does the term "customer-defined, leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and C++. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Immediately? If you actualize intuitively, you may have to brand virally. Without eyeballs, you will lack front-end synergies. We will architect the aptitude of web-readiness to benchmark. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 compliance and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the capability of efficient implementation to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our clicks-and-mortar M&A but our capacity to expedite. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will iterate the ability of systems to redefine. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our visionary affiliate-based structuring but our capability to deliver. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to revolutionize globally. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, sexy? Imagine a combination of RDF and XForms. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for managing new interfaces? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? What does the term "networks" really mean? Without meticulously-planned models, niches are forced to become proactive. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think macro-mega-nano-six-sigma. The subscriber communities factor is subscriber-defined. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of e-tailers. Think reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you productize holistically then you may also facilitate holistically. The implementation factor is dynamic. Think long-term. Think long-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. If you transform seamlessly, you may have to enhance robustly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will maximize the term "24/7". We will amplify our power to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to generate.