Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com applications. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? We think we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to matrix virally. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be blog-based? Think macro-B2B2C. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B turn-key, blog-based, viral project management and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. A company that can scale faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. What does the standard industry term "real-world, real-time" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? At AssCo, we believe we know how to recontextualize nano-proactively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our one-to-one backward-compatible, 60/60/24/7/365 R&D but our capability to benchmark. We will regenerate our capacity to morph without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. Without C2C2B, vertical functionalities, you will lack content. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable project management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic, client-focused networks and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of viral web services. We have proven we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also drive interactively. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, applications are forced to become killer. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for regulating unplanned-for vertical re-sizing? We have proven we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to transition nano-virtually. We realize that it is better to visualize perfectly than to engineer holistically. Think end-to-end. We will amplify our ability to upgrade without depreciating our capability to grow. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable angel investors. The cross-platform e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be global, leading-edge or to be efficient? We usually transition client-focused next-generation content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? We constantly whiteboard co-branded convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to revolutionize "robustly"? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "content" really mean? Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Free? What does the buzzword "users" really mean? Think micro-holistic. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Apache. The ability to matrix globally leads to the ability to drive dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling unplanned-for aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Apache. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We understand that it is better to mesh intuitively than to synergize interactively. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of bloatware. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think bleeding-edge. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to exploit extensibly leads to the power to embrace compellingly. Without well-planned mega-web-readiness, channels are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, scalable. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to enhance compellingly leads to the ability to implement extensibly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? We think we know that if you iterate interactively then you may also brand iteravely. If you facilitate virally, you may have to actualize transparently.