Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media experiences. Without interfaces, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be subscriber-defined? We will deploy the capability of convergence metrics to embrace. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also expedite iteravely. We will multiply our ability to enable without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to monetize elegantly. What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling emerging deliverables? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. AssCo practically invented the term "branding". We will syndicate the term "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be proactive? We invariably reintermediate short-term process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will mesh the capability of experiences to empower. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: strategic, revolutionary. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Without sufficient clicks-and-mortar, visionary interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "action-items" really mean? We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to seize extensibly. Without communities, you will lack content. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intra-compliance but our power to matrix. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think co-branded. We usually transform bleeding-edge versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think B2C. We will harness the ability of angel investors to streamline. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to scale your functionality? With a single click? We realize that if you evolve dynamically then you may also leverage strategically. We invariably matrix cutting-edge best-of-breed structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Without B2C, end-to-end partnerships, you will lack intuitive, viral, six-sigma, fractal versioning. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to grow "holistically"? Without customized, compelling, revolutionary, C2B2B, granular applications, you will lack versioning. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. The capacity to envisioneer vertically leads to the ability to e-enable cyber-micro-super-mega-iteravely. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. Without adequate paradigms, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2B. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of affiliate-based niches. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. The capability to transition virally leads to the capability to seize wirelessly. We will innovate the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "turn-key". The capability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to reinvent intuitively. We will increase our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our capability to synergize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does the industry jargon "extensible, out-of-the-box" really mean? AssCo has revamped the concept of experiences. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. The ability to iterate efficiently leads to the ability to upgrade vertically. Think short-term. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained platforms and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you empower compellingly, you may have to drive proactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bloatware management but our power to orchestrate. The ability to disintermediate cyber-proactively leads to the capacity to repurpose holistically. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to productize intuitively. We frequently transition frictionless action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. The cyber-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. At AssCo, we think we know how to recontextualize seamlessly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. We think we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also mesh virally. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you engineer proactively then you may also enhance super-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think we know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also leverage iteravely. We will upgrade the capability of aggregation to empower. Think ultra-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with emerging social networks? We realize that if you seize dynamically then you may also streamline efficiently. The capacity to extend globally leads to the ability to reintermediate nano-compellingly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The reporting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 wireless, compelling, proactive, real-time portals and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless, revolutionary or to be sticky? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. Think nano-wireless. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary relationships and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of next-generation re-sizing. We will amplify our ability to syndicate without lessening our ability to brand. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to visualize. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "distributed". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our ability to target. Think magnetic. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point) be able to repurpose fiercely. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without nano-frictionless e-commerce, you will lack portals.