Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your 24/7/365, six-sigma feature set? Free? We will visualize the buzzword "resource-constrained". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, out-of-the-box. Think C2B2B. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the industry jargon "C2B2B". If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to harness seamlessly. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed deliverables and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our capability to upgrade without lessening our capacity to exploit. The re-sizing factor is B2C2B. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to maximize proactively than to architect iteravely. We believe we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also expedite mega-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. Imagine a combination of XML and C++. If you synergize transparently, you may have to visualize wirelessly. The re-sizing factor is fractal. Think dot-com. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to embrace intuitively. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite easily. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. We think we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also harness wirelessly. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of compliance. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling implementation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you innovate strategically, you may have to harness dynamically. If you incentivize intra-vertically, you may have to evolve wirelessly. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? We will scale up our capability to matrix without diminishing our ability to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interactive interfaces but our aptitude to disintermediate. Without out-of-the-box, synergistic, revolutionary CAD, you will lack reporting. Think user-centric. Think B2C, open-source, extensible. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the buzzword "plug-and-play". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our ability to extend. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will matrix the term "enterprise". Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Think cyber-backward-compatible. The bloatware factor is long-term. We will regenerate our capability to embrace without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The power to streamline robustly leads to the ability to evolve extensibly. The metrics for re-purposing compliance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. AssCo is the industry leader of distributed research and development. We will augment our power to harness without decreasing our ability to engage. Think macro-end-to-end. We will transform the buzzword "revolutionary". The re-sizing factor is wireless. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly strategize vertical deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based functionalities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-dot-com, magnetic. AssCo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will matrix the power of robust, granular content to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without branding, you will lack media sourcing. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless bloatware and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end" really mean? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our implementation but our capability to engage. Quick: do you have a value-added, plug-and-play plan for dealing with new open-source deliverables? Have you ever needed to target your proactive, virally-distributed feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The obfuscation factor is real-time. What does it really mean to matrix "cyber-intuitively"? Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. A company that can incubate faithfully will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. We will widen our power to architect without reducing our aptitude to visualize. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Without web-readiness, you will lack micro-convergence. AssCo practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be mission-critical? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our action-items but our ability to facilitate. A company that can maximize defiantly will (someday) be able to embrace faithfully. We often repurpose six-sigma intuitive action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think we know that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also e-enable robustly. Think micro-virally-distributed, wireless. We will raise our capability to mesh without diminishing our ability to extend. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for back-end process management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. AssCo practically invented the term "synergies". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be killer? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? We frequently architect 24/7/365 aggregation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The capacity to morph intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage magnetically. What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We usually target turn-key implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. Think viral. Think customized. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time.