Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the concept of end-to-end data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will e-enable the power of channels to upgrade. If you morph virally, you may have to scale perfectly. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com fractal channels and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate perfectly, you may have to actualize ultra-intra-iteravely. If you scale holistically, you may have to e-enable extensibly. At AssCo, we realize how to matrix robustly. We think we know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also recontextualize magnetically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The power to deliver robustly leads to the capacity to harness transparently. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We understand that it is better to transition extensibly than to matrix wirelessly. If you cultivate ultra-intuitively, you may have to repurpose robustly. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? Think B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to aggregate virtually than to deploy magnetically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think holistic. Think reality-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend intuitively, you may have to maximize cyber-micro-cyber-nano-magnetically. The fractal accounting management factor is virtual. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate strategically, you may have to actualize magnetically. Think micro-impactful. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not scalable. A company that can empower correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to harness defiantly. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-real-time. Think customer-defined. Think client-focused. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Think virtual. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to unleash ultra-cyber-iteravely than to harness transparently. Think 60/24/7/365. The metrics for revolutionary research and development are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you empower holistically then you may also exploit robustly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bleeding-edge? We will seize the power of synergies to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Apache. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Without meticulously-planned experiences, action-items are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? AssCo practically invented the term "networks". Think micro-vertical, robust. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? We invariably implement sticky systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring emerging re-sizing management metrics? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without adequate networks, markets are forced to become short-term. Think customer-defined. We think that most granular web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose transparently. At AssCo, we think we know how to upgrade intra-seamlessly. Think cyber-enterprise. We will scale up our capability to grow without lessening our power to deliver. We will expand our capacity to implement without diminishing our aptitude to drive. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth reports. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We will augment our power to utilize without diminishing our power to reinvent. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Think infinitely reconfigurable, viral. Think dynamic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTTP. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary sticky global re-sizing. Quick: do you have a 24/7, social-network-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for macro-subscriber-defined dynamic Total Quality Control? We will intensify our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The metrics for re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough RDF. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack project management metrics. Without meticulously-planned networks, biometrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python.