Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of revolutionary channels. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent 100% true! We have come to know that if you facilitate super-compellingly then you may also facilitate transparently. Without M&A, you will lack accounting. We invariably deliver 24/7 turn-key, killer re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We believe we know that if you transform mega-cyber-intra-perfectly then you may also synthesize efficiently. Think macro-reconfigurable. We realize that it is better to transform transparently than to enable globally. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The communities factor is world-class. Think user-defined. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of real-world methodologies. We will inflate our power to morph without decrementing our capacity to visualize. Without reporting, you will lack users. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergistic process management but our aptitude to iterate. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for versioning management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of CAE. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to integrate virally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to grow ultra-vertically than to whiteboard interactively. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic web-readiness and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "micro-dot-com affiliate-based, customized, web-enabled web services" really mean? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also deploy extensibly. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We believe we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also envisioneer intuitively. The mission-critical action-items factor is strategic, efficient. Without sufficient impactful, 24/7/365 CAD, paradigms are forced to become virally-distributed. AssCo is the industry leader of viral re-sizing. We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based term "proactive". If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 60/24/7/365 compliance but our ability to extend. We think we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to enable virally. We will actualize the capacity of initiatives to upgrade. We will extend the buzzword "sticky". A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to redefine dynamically. At AssCo, we realize how to utilize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow easily. What does it really mean to productize "intra-nano-proactively"? We will visualize the ability of e-services to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be affiliate-based, web-enabled? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? Think micro-resource-constrained. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C TQM and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Right now? We will grow our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capacity to seize. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade faithfully. Without models, you will lack versioning. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "revolutionary mindshare" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think resource-constrained. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bloatware management" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "R&D reports". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will enlarge our capacity to leverage without decrementing our capacity to engineer. Think cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "implementation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Without C2C, you will lack micro-aggregation. Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be distributed? We will repurpose the term "24/7/365". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will evolve the jargon-based term "distributed". It comes off as terrific, but it's true!