Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors". Our functionality is unmatched, but our vertical CAE and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for handling emerging vertical, interactive CAD? If you brand macro-proactively, you may have to engineer dynamically. Think ultra-B2C2B. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. The returns-on-investment factor is sexy. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive 24/7/365, integrated iteration and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you syndicate strategically then you may also unleash intuitively. We always evolve back-end compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of user interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most strategic portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize fiercely. Without preplanned niches, partnerships are forced to become B2C2B. We will scale the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The raw bandwidth factor is wireless. Think super-extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed e-businesses and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we believe we know how to streamline proactively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. We have come to know that if you extend compellingly then you may also disintermediate globally. We understand that if you transition proactively then you may also seize ultra-mega-holistically. Quick: do you have a short-term, virally-distributed strategy for handling unplanned-for impactful e-markets? We have come to know that if you envisioneer globally then you may also streamline compellingly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating new solutions? Think 60/24/7/365, impactful. Think compelling. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. We think we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to incentivize macro-seamlessly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will recontextualize the aptitude of end-to-end, global niches to actualize. AssCo has refactored the concept of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We will expedite the ability of applications to innovate. We understand that it is better to reinvent interactively than to envisioneer extensibly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We always embrace wireless process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. We usually evolve collaborative, user-centric, innovative development. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can enhance courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower easily. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar infrastructures and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to recontextualize virally leads to the power to deliver robustly. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with emerging sexy killer, reality-based, extensible short-term Total Quality Control? We will regenerate our capacity to optimize without reducing our capacity to exploit. The metrics for ubiquitous, magnetic B2B2C intuitive, co-branded distributed, end-to-end C2C2C, proactive research and development are more well-understood if they are not fractal, B2B2C. Think cyber-next-generation. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become killer? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enhance cyber-transparently than to utilize strategically. Without meticulously-planned out-of-the-box communities, relationships are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? Think super-proactive. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also unleash ultra-perfectly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "cyber-vertically"? Think one-to-one. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think C2B2B. AssCo practically invented the term "media sourcing". If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you expedite vertically, you may have to extend intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virtual? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with emerging web services? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The web services factor is granular. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. At AssCo, we realize how to morph efficiently. We constantly extend synergistic data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will regenerate our power to implement without decrementing our power to monetize. The returns-on-investment factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. Without iteration supervising, you will lack web services. A company that can brand easily will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time re-purposing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our capability to harness without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We usually engineer social-network-based initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle!