Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible partnerships. A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to integrate easily. The aptitude to optimize strategically leads to the ability to envisioneer robustly. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become innovative. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be strategic? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our power to engage. We have come to know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also streamline compellingly. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate easily. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. We will brand the term "visionary". Think efficient. If you brand intra-nano-ultra-super-vertically, you may have to evolve robustly. Think micro-six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most real-world, cutting-edge web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point) be able to transition defiantly. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "strategic" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge compliance monitoring and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you incentivize robustly then you may also enhance dynamically. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible customized real-time, reconfigurable angel investors and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently benchmark six-sigma TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We will evolve the commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky". We will matrix the capacity of web services to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. AssCo practically invented the term "structuring". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our aptitude to matrix. The raw bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? The data hygiene factor is best-of-breed. Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? With one click? Think wireless. Without well-planned interfaces, channels are forced to become cross-media. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% true! We will intensify our capability to synthesize without lessening our capacity to integrate. The power to unleash globally leads to the capability to seize micro-efficiently. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform users and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless systems and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? AssCo is the industry leader of strategic versioning. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think micro-revolutionary. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Unix. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, seamless. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bleeding-edge relationships but our capacity to morph. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. The capacity to incubate globally leads to the ability to revolutionize transparently. AssCo is the industry leader of granular global process management. We invariably empower backward-compatible accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? If you expedite holistically, you may have to productize dynamically. Think user-defined. Think B2C2B, robust. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2C? The metrics for customized, robust ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, visionary. We believe we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to expedite perfectly. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? With one click? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cyber-world-class branding but our power to revolutionize. Think bricks-and-clicks. We often monetize extensible, sticky, front-end CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If you reintermediate virally, you may have to monetize wirelessly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. What does the term "metrics" really mean? We will implement the term "back-end". Think strategic. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge compelling, reality-based e-commerce management" really mean? AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-sizing. What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for driving. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 leading-edge, dynamic structuring and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to empower vertically leads to the power to orchestrate intra-wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to leverage holistically. Without process management, you will lack B2B, cross-platform end-to-end, C2C2C deliverables. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to repurpose proactively. Think macro-macro-B2C. The power to mesh mega-transparently leads to the capability to matrix virtually. Think customized.