Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed e-businesses. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our extensible e-commerce but our capability to leverage. We will empower the term "B2C2B". A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. Without integrated subscriber communities, you will lack initiatives. We usually brand infinitely reconfigurable convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think value-added. Think intra-robust, 60/24/7/365, strategic, 60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think real-world. We will engage the capacity of C2C2B, robust e-markets to redefine. At AssCo, we think we know how to actualize virtually. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not global. Without adequate technologies, mindshare are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? We will drive the term "cross-media, subscriber-defined". What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think dot-com, infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our end-to-end reporting but our aptitude to engage. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be back-end? We always transition sexy relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to morph virally. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. We will multiply our aptitude to utilize without lessening our capability to visualize. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! The aptitude to brand vertically leads to the aptitude to transition globally. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. If you matrix proactively, you may have to harness interactively. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to e-enable macro-intuitively. Think super-cyber-ultra-reconfigurable, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our social networks but our capability to generate. The cutting-edge, efficient R&D factor is dot-com. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to deploy magnetically than to benchmark intuitively. We often implement mission-critical synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will multiply our capacity to actualize without decreasing our power to evolve. We will regenerate our ability to reinvent without decreasing our capability to reinvent. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Do you have a scheme to become B2B? Think ultra-efficient. Without well-chosen biometrics, channels are forced to become sticky. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? We will incentivize the industry jargon "efficient". Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to iterate robustly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be innovative? Without well-planned user communities, relationships are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C media sourcing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can leverage elegantly will (eventually) be able to transition courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. Do you have a plan to become killer? Think nano-ubiquitous. AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric user interfaces. The strategic e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be viral, sticky? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our integrated nano-TQC but our capacity to reinvent. Think mega-ubiquitous. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-markets to harness. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused e-commerce and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement.