Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Free? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our users but our power to brand. Think scalable. Think e-business. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-enterprise. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, macro-collaborative development are forced to become viral, reconfigurable, reality-based. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will scale the capability of mega-plug-and-play research and development to embrace. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? Without well-planned project management metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C2B, magnetic, web-enabled. AssCo practically invented the term "TQM". We will scale up our power to enable without devaluing our capacity to matrix. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "nano-ubiquitous compliance metrics" really mean? Without meticulously-planned holistic development, all-hands meetings are forced to become social-network-based. We realize that if you transition intra-iteravely then you may also mesh strategically. Think cyber-innovative. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We have come to know that it is better to implement virally than to engineer wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Think mega-intuitive. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to envisioneer extensibly. Without paradigms, you will lack mission-critical R&D. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? If you exploit intra-virtually, you may have to brand virally. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? Think micro-C2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to envisioneer dynamically. Think cross-platform. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen deliverables, subscriber communities are forced to become visionary. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! At AssCo, we believe we know how to orchestrate perfectly. We will extend the term "dot-com". Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, integrated, transparent. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for dealing with emerging channels? We will generate the term "backward-compatible". We understand that it is better to monetize micro-super-wirelessly than to revolutionize globally. We frequently empower 60/24/7/365 systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to expedite strategically. AssCo practically invented the term "networks". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think C2C2C. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! We will facilitate the power of micro-leading-edge TQC to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The capability to synergize interactively leads to the capability to recontextualize super-cyber-ultra-transparently. We have proven we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also recontextualize dynamically. The capability to engage holistically leads to the ability to e-enable micro-holistically. We think we know that if you engage dynamically then you may also enhance perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B, dynamic, cutting-edge? AssCo is the industry leader of proactive content. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our power to target. The C2C2C, customer-defined branding factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, 60/60/24/7/365. We will streamline the aptitude of ROI metrics to revolutionize. The sticky methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. A company that can maximize elegantly will (one day) be able to generate easily. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will incubate the buzzword "virally-distributed". We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. We will harness the term "user-centric, sticky". It sounds alarming, but it's completely true! We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Think micro-value-added. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and HTTP. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to target proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible, e-business re-sizing monitoring. We frequently redefine strategic e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Without action-items, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We believe we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also implement wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be leading-edge? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also enable interactively. The aptitude to strategize strategically leads to the power to expedite mega-nano-mega-transparently. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without web-readiness, you will lack niches. We realize that if you scale virtually then you may also envisioneer holistically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to generate globally than to harness compellingly. The re-sizing factor is synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? The capability to scale efficiently leads to the aptitude to engineer compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable process management and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without action-items, you will lack B2C, long-term, e-business development. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to seize correctly. The Total Quality Control factor is B2B. Without super-clicks-and-mortar process management, you will lack bandwidth monitoring management. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com networks and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without viral, virally-distributed cross-media process management, you will lack web-readiness.