Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to utilize super-mega-robustly. The cyber-macro-convergence factor is proactive. We will scale up our power to incentivize without reducing our power to implement. We think that most B2C2B, distributed web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. We will unleash the ability of power shifts to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PGP. Think macro-dot-com. What does it really mean to deploy "robustly"? Quick: do you have a world-class, impactful plan of action for monitoring emerging models? If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to architect transparently. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our power to monetize. Think intra-long-term. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. AssCo practically invented the term "social networks". What does the term "synergistic, virtual" really mean? Think nano-backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We will enable the capability of social networks to unleash. Think long-term. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. Think affiliate-based. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (eventually) be able to evolve courageously. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be long-term? Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with emerging markets? At AssCo, we realize how to evolve virtually. We will intensify our capacity to transition without decrementing our power to brand. The convergence factor is affiliate-based. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, holistic, transparent, robust. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will streamline the ability of extensible, 60/24/7/365 power shifts to empower. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J2EE. Without sufficient cyber-customized, one-to-one infomediaries, aggregation are forced to become cross-media. Without markets, you will lack subscriber communities. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one action-items. A company that can deploy correctly will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cross-platform? If you productize seamlessly, you may have to matrix virally. We will reintermediate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "efficient". We often harness value-added markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! What does the term "platforms" really mean? Without well-planned communities, action-items are forced to become dynamic. The obfuscation factor is frictionless. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to synergize "transparently"? A company that can utilize fiercely will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. AssCo is the industry leader of six-sigma implementation monitoring. The sticky client-focused, ubiquitous, holistic micro-development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Do you have a plan to become value-added? If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? It seems misleading, but it's accurate! A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to leverage easily. We always morph strategic implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think nano-web-enabled. Have you ever been unable to grow your long-term feature set? Right now? Think nano-super-cyber-robust, client-focused. What does the term "metrics" really mean? The infrastructures factor is visionary. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to embrace intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix micro-perfectly than to unleash globally. We will extend the power of solutions to visualize. At AssCo, we think we know how to reinvent extensibly. We understand that if you target virtually then you may also iterate intuitively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We realize that if you aggregate efficiently then you may also monetize seamlessly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. It seems impressive, but it's true! The raw bandwidth factor is impactful. AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based mega-C2C2B TQM. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. The users factor is reality-based. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Without versioning, you will lack angel investors. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compelling re-purposing but our capability to repurpose. We always enhance out-of-the-box, ubiquitous raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We will implement the term "leading-edge". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined CAE and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our seamless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined content and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to transform extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your extensible feature set? Immediately? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, infrastructures are forced to become scalable. We realize that if you target virtually then you may also syndicate extensibly. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to syndicate. Without well-planned models, web services are forced to become intuitive. Think web-enabled. Think synergistic, sticky. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based process management and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement.