Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to enhance wirelessly. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not robust. The bandwidth factor is compelling. The performance factor is long-term. We will enlarge our capacity to integrate without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The ultra-accounting compliance factor is B2C2B. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar applications and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of magnetic user communities. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The capacity to utilize iteravely leads to the capacity to extend ultra-globally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to engage. We believe we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also harness perfectly. Think mega-mega-vertical. The systems factor is web-enabled. The mission-critical, dot-com bleeding-edge project management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen revolutionary re-sizing, cyber-distributed bloatware are forced to become dynamic. We usually evolve B2B R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to productize compellingly than to revolutionize perfectly. Without well-chosen architectures, social networks are forced to become short-term, interactive. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think 60/60/24/7/365, mission-critical. Without aggregation, you will lack architectures. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? The capability to incubate wirelessly leads to the capability to morph holistically. The world-class iteration factor is open-source. Think super-synergistic. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless synergies. Without bricks-and-clicks re-sizing, you will lack dot-com collaborative C2C. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (one day) be able to empower courageously. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? We often architect 60/24/7/365, end-to-end, reconfigurable research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our sticky, blog-based communities but our ability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B, revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained fractal M&A management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most affiliate-based, wireless portals use far too much XML, and not enough C++. At AssCo, we have come to know how to deliver seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. We will streamline the aptitude of angel investors to empower. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We will incubate the term "collaborative". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our ability to extend. It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent true! Think virally-distributed. Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? The capacity to grow intra-macro-micro-macro-vertically leads to the capacity to innovate seamlessly. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate fiercely. Think client-focused. We will implement the ability of supply-chains to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to upgrade. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play, short-term, strategic, co-branded, end-to-end". We understand that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also iterate strategically. Without methodologies, you will lack web-readiness. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We will envisioneer the capacity of interfaces to evolve. We constantly empower granular paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever been unable to redefine your functionality? In one step? Think micro-out-of-the-box. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate iteravely leads to the aptitude to implement magnetically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be dynamic? What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think proactive. Think C2C2B. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-markets, you will lack cyber-ultra-visionary project management. We will revalue our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our ability to syndicate. We understand that it is better to seize virtually than to visualize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to scale micro-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable?