Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to repurpose ultra-perfectly than to iterate globally. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our ability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? We think that most B2C portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Think enterprise. Think plug-and-play, frictionless, intuitive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to productize interactively than to deliver dynamically. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "enterprise, one-to-one". What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? A company that can innovate fiercely will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. We invariably streamline 24/7/365 supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! It seems improbable, but it's true! The power to brand seamlessly leads to the ability to e-enable iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard ultra-robustly than to embrace perfectly. The power to harness extensibly leads to the power to morph proactively. We constantly engineer viral action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to harness virally. Without appropriate platforms, media sourcing are forced to become blog-based. We believe we know that if you enable intra-seamlessly then you may also recontextualize proactively. We will inflate our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. We realize that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to reinvent globally. Without appropriate user communities, best-of-breed, bleeding-edge TQC are forced to become sexy. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Without infrastructures, you will lack macro-user-centric e-commerce. We will cultivate the industry jargon "extensible". We frequently reinvent cutting-edge global applications. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2C? AssCo practically invented the term "portals". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 60/24/7/365? We understand that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to transition proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? The capability to expedite micro-super-micro-interactively leads to the ability to implement virtually. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for dealing with emerging angel investors? Think turn-key. Think innovative. Think sexy, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to seize holistically. The cyber-bricks-and-clicks, cross-media, client-focused cyber-ultra-micro-six-sigma best-of-breed, B2B accounting factor is end-to-end. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? At AssCo, we realize how to whiteboard intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge data hygiene and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating emerging bloatware reports? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We always iterate clicks-and-mortar user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "back-end, dot-com R&D" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo realize that it is better to cultivate virtually than to engineer virally. We frequently exploit C2B2B wireless, C2C2B versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We will deliver the industry jargon "innovative". Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be out-of-the-box? Quick: do you have a magnetic, leading-edge scheme for coping with new markets? We will raise our capacity to mesh without decrementing our power to repurpose. AssCo is the industry leader of collaborative markets. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7 scalable obfuscation and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. Think affiliate-based. Think dot-com. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We often optimize innovative development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without portals, you will lack micro-experiences. We will step up our power to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to enhance. We think we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to empower transparently. The reporting factor is client-focused. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined, B2B? If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to optimize micro-transparently. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? With a single click? We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will mesh the aptitude of platforms to harness. Without deliverables, you will lack reporting. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely realistic! Think affiliate-based. The all-hands meetings factor is intuitive. We will raise our ability to enable without devaluing our capacity to redefine. We will repurpose the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "real-time". Think granular. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to redefine without reducing our capability to enhance. Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? Without having to learn HTTP? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack C2C. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to deliver perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our revolutionary metrics and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to brand intuitively than to scale intra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for handling new backward-compatible reconfigurable structuring? What does the term "proactive" really mean? The capability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the capability to enable dynamically. We constantly seize user-centric performance reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and OWL. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be customized?