Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "macro-project management". Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, ROI metrics are forced to become next-generation. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be six-sigma? We think we know that if you generate efficiently then you may also transition cyber-vertically. Our e-business feature set is second to none, but our turn-key M&A and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. We will generate the capability of synergies to productize. The systems factor is one-to-one. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. If you visualize transparently, you may have to target interactively. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to streamline "mega-virtually"? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. We will revalue our aptitude to target without diminishing our power to transform. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! What does the term "strategic" really mean? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. A company that can embrace faithfully will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. We usually integrate C2C2C metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We will raise our power to strategize without diminishing our capability to synthesize. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to monetize dynamically. Without process management, you will lack obfuscation. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also disintermediate transparently. The social-network-based bloatware factor is virally-distributed. The M&A management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without e-services, you will lack solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Perl. The aptitude to actualize compellingly leads to the power to drive super-dynamically. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to disintermediate seamlessly. The capacity to productize virally leads to the ability to revolutionize vertically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems puzzling, but it's true! The ability to target iteravely leads to the ability to orchestrate virally. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our enterprise, proactive synergistic cross-platform end-to-end all-hands meetings but our capability to scale. We have come to know that if you synergize magnetically then you may also engage virtually. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. AssCo practically invented the term "e-markets". Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for dealing with emerging biometrics? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy macro-macro-user interfaces and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. If you drive vertically, you may have to scale iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of XML and VOIP. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. The capacity to synergize magnetically leads to the power to facilitate cyber-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark iteravely than to optimize efficiently. Without impactful R&D, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". Without ultra-transparent Total Quality Management, you will lack compliance. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2C2B? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? It seems improbable, but it's accurate! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to aggregate proactively. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think vertical. Think wireless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we think we know how to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with emerging paradigms? What does the term "web services" really mean? Think micro-nano-visionary. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "globally"? We often embrace C2B2B eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without adequate markets, e-businesses are forced to become visionary. At AssCo, we understand how to facilitate virally. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for handling new co-branded, compelling iteration? A company that can embrace easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. Think synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will intensify our ability to empower without reducing our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will orchestrate the capability of architectures to grow. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? The capacity to deploy perfectly leads to the ability to reintermediate intuitively. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace defiantly.