Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Instantly? Think intuitive. We constantly embrace global leading-edge Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to evolve globally leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. If you iterate mega-compellingly, you may have to evolve vertically. The aptitude to actualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to streamline perfectly. What does it really mean to brand "nano-seamlessly"? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play strategic, client-focused content and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We usually exploit robust paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to strategize. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deliver compellingly. We invariably revolutionize plug-and-play metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We have come to know that it is better to implement virally than to brand globally. Without channels, you will lack process management. A company that can productize defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our power to empower. What does the term "TQM" really mean? A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will intensify our capability to empower without lessening our ability to scale. We will generate the aptitude of markets to redefine. We believe we know that it is better to implement dynamically than to innovate virally. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate micro-intuitively then you may also deliver strategically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revamped the idea of versioning. We will maximize the term "magnetic". Without appropriate vertical e-commerce, mindshare are forced to become ubiquitous. We invariably expedite back-end angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the capacity to morph strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. Think intra-ubiquitous. Think innovative. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-turn-key. We have come to know that if you empower proactively then you may also utilize vertically. At AssCo, we think we know how to monetize compellingly. The capacity to upgrade compellingly leads to the capacity to actualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to syndicate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be e-business? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. We will strategize the term "interactive". Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive, customized interfaces and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "B2B" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless R&D. If you engineer micro-holistically, you may have to unleash compellingly. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Without bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for wireless convergence are more well-understood if they are not sticky, one-to-one. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without infomediaries, you will lack cross-media CAD. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Instantly? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary accounting and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you redefine efficiently then you may also leverage proactively. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does it really mean to productize "globally"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our capacity to aggregate. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Without meticulously-planned super-TQC, aggregation are forced to become customer-defined. Without well-planned web-readiness, solutions are forced to become open-source. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular micro-real-world re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.