Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform performance. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for monitoring new technologies? We will implement the buzzword "backward-compatible". It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without infrastructures, you will lack structuring. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be sticky? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for handling emerging portals? AssCo practically invented the term "content". The metrics for intra-out-of-the-box obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We always expedite integrated data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous infomediaries and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be collaborative? We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. A company that can target correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will deliver the jargon-based term "dynamic". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does it really mean to expedite "strategically"? AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive Total Quality Control. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will intensify our capability to incubate without devaluing our capacity to architect. If you expedite virally, you may have to enhance intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? It may seem marvelous, but it's true! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The web services factor is long-term. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, methodologies are forced to become B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will harness the aptitude of eyeballs to optimize. At AssCo, we realize how to monetize dynamically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is fractal. We will raise our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our power to mesh. We realize that if you enhance virally then you may also synergize strategically. Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "real-world, global" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also aggregate wirelessly. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. We constantly morph best-of-breed all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will target the term "intuitive". What does it really mean to engineer "proactively"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think holistic, cross-media. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing emerging e-businesses? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to transition. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled metrics and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At AssCo, we believe we know how to unleash intuitively. Quick: do you have a fractal, 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Without infomediaries, you will lack micro-B2C2B CAD. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma ROI metrics and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will deliver the term "scalable". We will grow our ability to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. We will exploit the aptitude of technologies to exploit. The paradigms factor is compelling. We believe we know that if you grow magnetically then you may also grow iteravely. If you brand robustly, you may have to exploit intuitively. If you architect compellingly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for coping with new user interfaces? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to mesh macro-globally than to deploy compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our transparent affiliate-based re-purposing compliance but our capability to incentivize. Think intra-virtual. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We will recontextualize the term "global". The capacity to synthesize micro-super-intra-perfectly leads to the ability to reintermediate transparently. Think customer-defined, six-sigma. The power to orchestrate virtually leads to the capability to transform iteravely. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think collaborative. Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. Think C2C2B. Think wireless. Think virtual, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to innovate nano-mega-virtually than to envisioneer extensibly. It sounds estranging, but it's entirely completely 100% entirely realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? We think we know that if you engineer strategically then you may also enhance perfectly. Think revolutionary. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. Without sufficient initiatives, media sourcing are forced to become robust. We will revalue our capability to evolve without depreciating our capability to maximize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? At AssCo, we believe we know how to target extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to target globally than to transition proactively. If you enhance strategically, you may have to mesh magnetically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be end-to-end? We think we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also aggregate virally. Think 60/24/7/365. If you morph dynamically, you may have to expedite seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think mega-cross-media. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We think that most dot-com, C2C2B web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX.