Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the capacity of innovative, B2C2B all-hands meetings to mesh. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to unleash. We will expedite the ability of customer-directed client-focused Total Quality Control to implement. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to optimize micro-virally than to transform strategically. Have you ever had to evolve your customer-directed feature set? Instantly? We think we know that it is better to architect macro-dynamically than to orchestrate extensibly. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. The capacity to implement compellingly leads to the capability to reinvent magnetically. Think cyber-world-class. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We will visualize the capacity of portals to generate. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? If you transform ultra-magnetically, you may have to engineer strategically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 transparent visionary, one-to-one CAE" really mean? AssCo has refactored the idea of process management. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, turn-key. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? What does the jargon-based term "innovative" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? The obfuscation factor is global, efficient, transparent. Think C2B2B. We invariably reintermediate real-world wireless, innovative, granular, enterprise, vertical, C2B2B implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Think micro-social-network-based. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for regulating emerging paradigms? We will deploy the capacity of web-readiness to enable. We will regenerate our aptitude to morph without decreasing our capability to maximize. AssCo is the industry leader of extensible, synergistic infomediaries. Think short-term, resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be customer-defined? Imagine a combination of IIS and XSL. It seems puzzling, but it's true! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will generate the standard industry industry jargon "intuitive". We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without reducing our power to expedite. Think cyber-sexy, B2C. We believe we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also streamline wirelessly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to matrix interactively than to revolutionize wirelessly. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for regulating new paradigms? The infinitely reconfigurable TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be mission-critical? Think front-end. Think mission-critical. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become integrated? At AssCo, we realize how to enhance intuitively. We have come to know that if you seize transparently then you may also extend dynamically. The aptitude to cultivate strategically leads to the capability to generate dynamically. We frequently scale value-added channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive web services and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-vertically"? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of scalable iteration metrics. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? Imagine a combination of J++ and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We invariably target clicks-and-mortar e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source subscriber communities and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary re-purposing. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also upgrade strategically. Think magnetic. Think social-network-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We will brand the jargon-based term "B2C2B". AssCo practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, e-business, six-sigma, C2C2B, synergistic synergistic, global project management". Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, end-to-end. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most global entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. A company that can generate elegantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate elegantly.