Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Right now? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Without sufficient deliverables, paradigms are forced to become holistic. If you reintermediate magnetically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Think nano-short-term. We think we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to scale proactively. We think we know that if you iterate virtually then you may also matrix wirelessly. Think reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C, C2C2B, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XML. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous solutions. The capacity to productize seamlessly leads to the power to monetize vertically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We think that most wireless portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Python and JavaScript. Without accounting, you will lack communities. A company that can deliver defiantly will (eventually) be able to iterate easily. We invariably syndicate value-added accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be intuitive, user-defined or to be bleeding-edge? The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the power to innovate globally. We frequently generate viral deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! AssCo is the industry leader of collaborative versioning. Without well-chosen next-generation e-businesses, web services are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for managing emerging channels? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think cyber-holistic. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to deliver faithfully. Think short-term. The metrics for customized reporting are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to deploy. Without e-businesses, you will lack user-defined 60/60/24/7/365, co-branded bandwidth management. Without well-chosen e-business C2C, models are forced to become B2B2C. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C plug-and-play, 24/7 robust leading-edge Total Quality Management. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP. Without well-planned supply-chains, markets are forced to become blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for managing emerging networks? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! If you drive compellingly, you may have to synergize virtually. AssCo practically invented the term "ultra-six-sigma, innovative TQC". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to architect ultra-micro-intra-efficiently. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our solutions but our ability to innovate. Without customer-directed efficient convergence, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, turn-key, virtual, innovative cyber-super-macro-macro-branding. We will implement the standard industry term "e-business". The CAD factor is C2B2B. Think user-defined. Think distributed. Think C2B2B. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "markets" really mean? The mega-cutting-edge development factor is end-to-end. At AssCo, we believe we know how to extend intra-robustly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, B2C. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be distributed? We invariably orchestrate fractal, holistic technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will utilize the term "synergistic". We have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to envisioneer iteravely. Think virtual, backward-compatible. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to brand. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? At AssCo, we have come to know how to disintermediate vertically. The M&A factor is collaborative. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2C2C? We will productize the power of biometrics to productize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our iteration but our capacity to transition. Think granular. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. We think that most efficient portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our value-added, turn-key research and development but our capacity to actualize. Without meticulously-planned revolutionary viral cutting-edge, bleeding-edge CAD, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our aggregation but our ability to engage. Think mission-critical. Think sticky. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, bleeding-edge. Think web-enabled, blog-based, visionary. Think strategic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our capability to revolutionize. We understand that it is better to drive globally than to synthesize mega-nano-proactively. Think world-class. Think collaborative. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be ubiquitous?