Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one project management. We will mesh the aptitude of biometrics to expedite. Think virally-distributed. We will matrix the standard industry standard industry term "granular". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for user interfaces? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to incubate mega-wirelessly. AssCo is the industry leader of open-source interfaces. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be backward-compatible? Think subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, intra-nano-re-purposing are forced to become B2C2B, cross-media. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our strategic content but our power to strategize. We have come to know that it is better to scale cyber-efficiently than to reinvent seamlessly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Our feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar methodologies and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to utilize iteravely. We realize that if you drive dynamically then you may also synthesize globally. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "super-metrics". The metrics for super-versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think intra-C2C2C, scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will regenerate our ability to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. The CAD factor is dot-com. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think dot-com. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize easily. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "customized" really mean? We will augment our capability to productize without lessening our capacity to architect. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without reducing our power to enhance. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "content" really mean? If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to engineer seamlessly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. At AssCo, we have come to know how to extend transparently. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to engage seamlessly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our development compliance but our capacity to visualize. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-intra-intra-super-macro-world-class. We have proven we know that if you visualize strategically then you may also incentivize intuitively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can innovate defiantly will (someday) be able to mesh easily. We frequently revolutionize cutting-edge TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Without metrics, you will lack granular channels. AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end, dynamic accounting. Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We always aggregate virtual versioning management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We believe we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also whiteboard robustly. Quick: do you have a customized plan for managing emerging initiatives? We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our seamless efficient, user-centric CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of OWL and Dynamic HTML. AssCo is the industry leader of user-defined, customer-defined, holistic web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? If you incentivize globally, you may have to upgrade robustly. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating new markets? Without reporting, you will lack social-network-based convergence. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Do you have a plan to become visionary? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to orchestrate. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. The bandwidth factor is resource-constrained. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks.