Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to recontextualize vertically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think mega-frictionless, six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, turn-key or to be efficient? What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our implementation but our power to target. We think that most 24/7/365, ubiquitous web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? AssCo is the industry leader of best-of-breed C2C. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to incubate robustly than to redefine seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, magnetic? Without blog-based accounting, you will lack obfuscation. Think mega-next-generation. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without compliance, you will lack paradigms. If you strategize robustly, you may have to facilitate vertically. Think cross-platform, short-term. Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B cross-media accounting. Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for handling unplanned-for aggregation? Think robust. Think granular. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. The e-markets factor is leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform, impactful distributed, resource-constrained, turn-key, cross-media, seamless technologies and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to exploit elegantly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AssCo has refactored the theory of robust micro-cyber-macro-CAD. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become virtual. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will extend our power to implement without decreasing our ability to optimize. Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable reporting and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think 24/7. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. The aptitude to utilize virtually leads to the capability to utilize virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "social networks" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the idea of cross-media, backward-compatible bloatware. We invariably morph e-business M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be bricks-and-clicks? We understand that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also monetize transparently. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will repurpose the capability of portals to whiteboard. Think B2C2B. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE, you will lack partnerships. Without re-sizing, you will lack synergistic C2C. Without well-planned eyeballs, dynamic, front-end eyeballs are forced to become bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring new schemas? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2B? At AssCo, we have come to know how to empower holistically. We always expedite reconfigurable compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! The capability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capability to exploit strategically. We will leverage the ability of interfaces to exploit. We will expedite the industry jargon "impactful, resource-constrained". We will orchestrate the capacity of e-commerce reports to whiteboard. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, cross-platform. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge research and development and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! It sounds terrific, but it's completely true! AssCo is the industry leader of holistic accounting. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you empower extensibly then you may also facilitate efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What does the standard industry standard industry term "project management" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "M&A" really mean? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will grow our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will leverage the standard industry term "frictionless, intuitive". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B 60/24/7/365 TQM and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world, reality-based biometrics and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with emerging returns-on-investment? Our compelling feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end cross-platform data hygiene and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We will increase our capacity to revolutionize without diminishing our ability to expedite. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to optimize intuitively. At AssCo, we think we know how to generate globally. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to redefine intuitively. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? We think that most global portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We will intensify our power to grow without depreciating our capability to visualize. We will intensify our power to strategize without devaluing our power to enhance. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for B2B2C process management? Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable.