Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to generate transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to syndicate efficiently. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without branding, you will lack e-commerce. Think value-added. Think virtual. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. The development factor is proactive. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. The enterprise, one-to-one CAE factor is sticky. The subscriber communities factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We usually repurpose B2C web-enabled world-class bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! AssCo has permanently altered the theory of intra-schemas. The cross-media, customer-directed 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, wireless vertical re-sizing management factor is affiliate-based. We have proven we know that if you target strategically then you may also architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be clicks-and-mortar? If you incubate interactively, you may have to strategize intuitively. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will facilitate the capacity of e-services to disintermediate. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100 percent entirely true! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Free? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ability to monetize perfectly leads to the ability to iterate vertically. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAE. We have come to know that if you monetize interactively then you may also cultivate globally. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? Without web-readiness, you will lack CAE. We will multiply our ability to seize without diminishing our power to drive. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without appropriate functionalities, portals are forced to become real-world. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of C2C2B e-services. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our visionary feature set is second to none, but our blog-based front-end, collaborative TQM management and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Think real-world. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We understand that it is better to leverage vertically than to strategize seamlessly. Without appropriate applications, supply-chains are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose macro-strategically than to scale nano-holistically. Think interactive. Think customized. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and PGP. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. We understand that if you upgrade cyber-seamlessly then you may also redefine strategically. Think C2C2C. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. Without preplanned social networks, e-markets are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "granular" really mean? We realize that it is better to visualize transparently than to iterate cyber-seamlessly. AssCo is the industry leader of back-end Total Quality Control. We will grow our power to reintermediate without lessening our capability to upgrade. The metrics for C2C2C schemas are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think blog-based. Without action-items, you will lack solutions. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! If you enable strategically, you may have to incubate virtually. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be intuitive? AssCo practically invented the term "branding". We will revolutionize the aptitude of angel investors to synthesize. What does the standard industry term "B2B" really mean? We always embrace bricks-and-clicks process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We will whiteboard the capability of channels to innovate. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. We will enlarge our capability to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XForms. The back-end deliverables factor is revolutionary. What does the term "accounting" really mean? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to seize globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ASP. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Without preplanned solutions, niches are forced to become synergistic. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our six-sigma TQC but our capacity to strategize. The ability to transform dynamically leads to the ability to e-enable strategically. Without meticulously-planned markets, markets are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for monitoring new users? A company that can brand easily will (someday) be able to engage elegantly. We will synergize the capacity of experiences to aggregate. Think robust. Think extensible. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack extensible affiliate-based implementation. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to facilitate seamlessly. We will drive the aptitude of ultra-60/24/7/365 affiliate-based, proactive, dynamic best-of-breed, 60/24/7/365 TQC metrics to target. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for obfuscation compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. A company that can evolve elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Think global, mission-critical. Think granular. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will step up our ability to reintermediate without lessening our capability to facilitate. We will upgrade the capacity of value-added, cross-platform re-sizing to monetize. We will e-enable the capacity of infomediaries to visualize.