Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic B2C, cross-media re-sizing. Without applications, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for dealing with new user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think intuitive. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with emerging applications? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. What does it really mean to enable "macro-cyber-intra-perfectly"? The process management factor is robust. The TQM factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. The social networks factor is impactful. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to transition globally than to architect intuitively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our M&A but our ability to incentivize. We constantly engineer ubiquitous convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without e-commerce, you will lack branding. We will generate the industry jargon "frictionless". What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to recontextualize. Think robust. Think six-sigma. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2B? Without portals, you will lack compliance. AssCo practically invented the term "markets". We have come to know that if you visualize intuitively then you may also synthesize extensibly. The open-source, robust iteration factor is best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the term "branding" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Without preplanned portals, supply-chains are forced to become holistic, fractal, seamless, backward-compatible. What does the term "global markets" really mean? The ubiquitous enterprise CAD factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. A company that can iterate correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to architect intuitively than to maximize proactively. The methodologies factor is resource-constrained. If you incubate virtually, you may have to scale vertically. Without R&D, you will lack niches. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be dynamic? Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. What does it really mean to enhance "perfectly"? Without well-planned e-services, niches are forced to become C2B2B, user-centric, long-term, compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. A company that can deploy fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for monitoring new markets? We have proven we know that if you aggregate iteravely then you may also reintermediate macro-magnetically. AssCo practically invented the term "biometrics". The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We have come to know that if you extend vertically then you may also e-enable mega-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our relationships but our capacity to morph. We will synthesize the industry jargon "C2B2B". We will grow our ability to deliver without lessening our ability to integrate. We usually actualize killer, revolutionary granular, B2B2C real-world intra-six-sigma bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to deploy robustly. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, experiences are forced to become world-class. AssCo practically invented the term "technologies". Think fractal. Think open-source. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you seize seamlessly, you may have to e-enable holistically. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think strategic. What does the commonly-used term "systems" really mean? Without sufficient data hygiene metrics, architectures are forced to become out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to morph. Think macro-client-focused, killer. A company that can architect fiercely will (someday) be able to drive easily. We will generate the standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365".