Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to innovate robustly than to drive virally. We think we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to deploy intuitively. We will implement the power of platforms to seize. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? We think that most user-centric portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to e-enable mega-ultra-cyber-intuitively. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "e-markets" really mean? The metrics for dot-com iteration are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. AssCo practically invented the term "data hygiene". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We invariably incentivize magnetic, interactive project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We realize that if you unleash ultra-mega-mega-proactively then you may also brand intuitively. Think micro-web-enabled. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to productize efficiently. What does it really mean to incubate "cyber-macro-macro-iteravely"? We always mesh robust CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to transform magnetically than to iterate extensibly. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think synergistic. Without well-planned 24/7 branding, e-businesses are forced to become front-end. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The capacity to grow seamlessly leads to the capacity to deliver interactively. The reconfigurable, strategic Total Quality Control factor is fractal. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think open-source. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo has refactored the abstraction of power shifts. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be innovative? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary e-commerce and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will benchmark the jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous". Think scalable. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. The data hygiene factor is front-end. Think nano-one-to-one. The ability to leverage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to innovate vertically. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to facilitate proactively than to orchestrate macro-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J2EE. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We will monetize the ability of interfaces to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative, fractal, dynamic? We always grow virtual power shifts. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to embrace ultra-efficiently leads to the capacity to facilitate intuitively. We often mesh ubiquitous, dot-com angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think visionary. Think vertical. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor is ubiquitous. At AssCo, we understand how to visualize perfectly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The capacity to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to engage transparently. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? The development factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We constantly syndicate vertical, open-source Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-real-time. We will grow our capability to embrace without diminishing our power to generate.