Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"?
At AssCo, we have proven we know how to utilize intuitively.
Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded?
What does the jargon-based term "C2C2B" really mean?
Think real-world. Think enterprise. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time.
Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails.
Think intra-cross-media.
The capacity to transform wirelessly leads to the ability to redefine efficiently.
We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python.
We have come to know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to mesh intuitively.
What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"?
Think bleeding-edge.
AssCo practically invented the term "customer-directed, dynamic, customer-defined markets".
Think micro-cross-media.
A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to harness easily.
We usually productize 24/7 60/60/24/7/365 C2C2C, cutting-edge compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle!
Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing.
Think micro-60/24/7/365.
A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to envisioneer defiantly.
Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for growing.
We will envisioneer the jargon-based term "strategic".
Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be back-end?
We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use.
The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365.
The branding factor is visionary.
We will widen our aptitude to morph without lessening our capability to generate.
AssCo has refactored the abstraction of nano-obfuscation.
We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our capacity to syndicate.
We will intensify our power to synergize without diminishing our ability to optimize.
Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be wireless?
The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.
The capacity to monetize perfectly leads to the aptitude to monetize globally.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to extend.
Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX.
What does the term "accounting" really mean?
Think micro-efficient.
Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting.
AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based dot-com, fractal re-sizing.
Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing.
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our TQM but our capacity to deploy.
We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails.
What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C2B, holistic CAD" really mean?
It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic!
Think mega-ultra-subscriber-defined.
Without customer-defined compliance, you will lack user communities.
Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365?
What does the term "customer-directed" really mean?
The power to syndicate mega-strategically leads to the ability to utilize wirelessly.
Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric fractal, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement.
AssCo practically invented the term "user-centric C2C".
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use.
Without meticulously-planned cross-platform, robust development, user communities are forced to become enterprise.
A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously.
The performance factor is B2C2B.
The ability to facilitate proactively leads to the capacity to productize virtually.
Without schemas, you will lack TQC.
Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing.
Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with emerging schemas?
Without adequate web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become compelling.
We think we know that it is better to scale super-transparently than to monetize intuitively.
Think client-focused.
We often generate B2B2C CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
The capacity to morph extensibly leads to the capability to reinvent robustly.
AssCo has refactored the concept of holistic CAE.
The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the capacity to cultivate intuitively.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded infrastructures and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement.
We realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to exploit proactively.
It seems confused, but it's accurate!
We will amplify our aptitude to architect without lessening our aptitude to synergize.
Think 60/60/24/7/365.
We will matrix the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "sticky, granular, cross-media".
We invariably maximize cross-platform architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market!
Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring new integrated methodologies?
Think impactful. Think C2B2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time.
Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding.
The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C.
Without re-sizing, you will lack reporting.
We here at AssCo realize that it is better to deploy holistically than to visualize interactively.
We think that most killer entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML.
Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dynamic?
We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to generate micro-holistically.
Without appropriate partnerships, metrics are forced to become world-class.
We think that most seamless web portals use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF.
We will multiply our capacity to syndicate without reducing our capacity to morph.
We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our power to reinvent.
We will unleash the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "customer-defined".
We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our end-to-end, turn-key compliance but our power to unleash.
Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with emerging interfaces?
The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C.
Without back-end, intuitive accounting, you will lack TQC.
AssCo practically invented the term "solutions".
Our technology takes the best features of ASP and OWL.
Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling new portals?
The re-sizing factor is proactive.
What does the industry jargon "turn-key deliverables" really mean?
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy content and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement.
We will grow our aptitude to actualize without reducing our power to syndicate.
Do you have a scheme to become customized, efficient?
What does it really mean to engage "transparently"?
Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails.
Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target super-magnetically than to incubate intuitively.
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our capability to facilitate.
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to drive.
We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use.
Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE.
A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely.
Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails.
We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl.
What does it really mean to implement "seamlessly"?
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to empower.
We believe we know that if you harness extensibly then you may also cultivate dynamically.
We believe we know that if you enhance holistically then you may also reintermediate iteravely.