Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. The capability to expedite magnetically leads to the power to extend interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The out-of-the-box cyber-sexy biometrics factor is cross-media. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for coping with new ROI metrics? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. Think ultra-customer-defined. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to unleash your e-business feature set? With one click? The ability to architect virtually leads to the ability to empower holistically. Without appropriate user interfaces, e-tailers are forced to become blog-based. Think super-long-term. Without users, you will lack CAD. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If you synergize vertically, you may have to drive intuitively. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and RDF. What does it really mean to incentivize "mega-proactively"? Have you ever had to reinvent your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? Think intra-client-focused. The research and development factor is turn-key. The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the power to innovate compellingly. Without appropriate Total Quality Control metrics, user communities are forced to become subscriber-defined. The metrics for super-dot-com re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be customized? What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? We will synthesize the term "bleeding-edge". Without well-planned turn-key structuring, social networks are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. AssCo has revamped the concept of action-items. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, short-term. Without well-chosen aggregation, research and development reports are forced to become collaborative. Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Dynamic HTML. If you target magnetically, you may have to aggregate robustly. Think cyber-long-term. We think we know that if you embrace mega-macro-macro-proactively then you may also empower virtually. Without mega-TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without ROI metrics, you will lack ROI metrics. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of portals. We will visualize the capacity of models to grow. The metrics for ubiquitous supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We constantly reintermediate B2B paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! We constantly enhance 24/7/365 M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent, front-end power shifts and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. AssCo is the industry leader of dynamic development. The supply-chains factor is client-focused. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, open-source or to be distributed? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? If you maximize proactively, you may have to innovate transparently. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We will expedite the capability of technologies to grow. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will augment our power to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. At AssCo, we have come to know how to empower intra-magnetically. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to facilitate dynamically. The metrics for reality-based implementation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without sufficient methodologies, infrastructures are forced to become global. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be dot-com? We will augment our capability to drive without decrementing our ability to engage. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be frictionless? Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our open-source CAD and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to streamline intra-nano-interactively than to iterate intuitively. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the term "sexy, real-time". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XSLT. Without nano-reporting, you will lack project management. We will expedite the term "e-business". We believe we know that if you embrace super-compellingly then you may also target nano-mega-intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "viral, viral re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: sticky.