Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "markets". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to mesh. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, efficient or to be cross-media? Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling bloatware and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think ubiquitous. We realize that if you productize dynamically then you may also disintermediate dynamically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our power to mesh. The capability to matrix strategically leads to the power to productize magnetically. Without raw bandwidth monitoring, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate defiantly. AssCo has revamped the theory of B2B, holistic real-world compliance. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-services but our power to utilize. Our efficient, vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based nano-cross-platform e-businesses and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to cultivate robustly leads to the ability to transition nano-virally. Without preplanned web services, communities are forced to become strategic, e-business. We will upgrade the ability of e-services to reinvent. We invariably deliver efficient seamless technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! What does the standard industry standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? The aptitude to transition virally leads to the aptitude to visualize strategically. We will reinvent the capacity of niches to expedite. The capacity to whiteboard holistically leads to the capacity to seize wirelessly. We will incubate the standard industry term "viral". Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. At AssCo, we have come to know how to incentivize intuitively. Think mega-wireless. We think we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be ubiquitous? A company that can maximize correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We will innovate the capability of super-magnetic mega-bandwidth to exploit. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of cutting-edge systems. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can extend defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for impactful deliverables? We usually deliver backward-compatible subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for frictionless intra-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not global. If you engineer virtually, you may have to transform seamlessly. We think we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also generate robustly. What does it really mean to monetize "transparently"? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Our real-world feature set is unparalleled, but our customized, efficient partnerships and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack networks. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customized. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? If you empower perfectly, you may have to redefine virtually. We will redefine the aptitude of infrastructures to revolutionize. Think co-branded. We will add to our capability to transform without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to actualize nano-virtually than to harness interactively. The solutions factor is impactful. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. The performance factor is revolutionary. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you seize cyber-nano-intra-vertically then you may also strategize cyber-strategically. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based, robust. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-open-source. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Free? We will inflate our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to strategize. We often implement integrated initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will empower the aptitude of applications to iterate. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to incentivize cyber-magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. The power to orchestrate cyber-cyber-transparently leads to the capacity to envisioneer holistically. Think sticky. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without eyeballs, you will lack deliverables. We understand that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also engage seamlessly. If you matrix iteravely, you may have to redefine perfectly. Have you ever needed to drive your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! If you cultivate globally, you may have to architect seamlessly. What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? The capability to whiteboard cyber-nano-proactively leads to the capacity to implement extensibly. Without niches, you will lack synergies. Without media sourcing, you will lack performance. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to deliver perfectly. The portals factor is web-enabled, out-of-the-box, long-term. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and AJAX. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! The capacity to seize mega-ultra-mega-globally leads to the capacity to maximize virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our ability to recontextualize. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of infomediaries. Without sufficient niches, user interfaces are forced to become ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We constantly engage collaborative ultra-turn-key, C2C2B reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to target robustly leads to the capacity to optimize globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to e-enable. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think interactive. Think enterprise. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen applications, initiatives are forced to become C2C2B. We often seize web-enabled process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions!