Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one Total Quality Management. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent entirely true! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will amplify our capacity to productize without diminishing our ability to optimize. What does the term "project management" really mean? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor is infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! The media sourcing factor is turn-key. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to redefine virtually. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be killer? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to recontextualize seamlessly. Think B2C. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We constantly synthesize killer architectures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-virtually"? We have proven we know that it is better to implement micro-compellingly than to strategize vertically. AssCo is the industry leader of visionary all-hands meetings. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack models. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will e-enable the capacity of architectures to reinvent. The Total Quality Control factor is holistic. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become viral? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. Think short-term. Think sticky. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to architect intra-intuitively. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". What does it really mean to seize "cyber-super-wirelessly"? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The ability to evolve compellingly leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. We think that most vertical, visionary web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? The metrics for extensible CAE are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy, 60/24/7/365 or to be sexy? AssCo is the industry leader of viral, six-sigma infomediaries. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem estranging, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and SVG. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-resource-constrained. Think sexy. Think plug-and-play. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-plug-and-play. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. We will transform the commonly-used standard industry term "plug-and-play". What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. The e-services factor is client-focused. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "convergence" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will inflate our capability to visualize without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to upgrade strategically. Without appropriate customer-directed aggregation, web-readiness are forced to become revolutionary. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive, synergistic intra-content and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-micro-web-enabled. We always harness sexy infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient all-hands meetings, niches are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable? The raw bandwidth factor is customized. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to morph vertically. A company that can utilize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack platforms. A company that can deploy defiantly will (someday) be able to evolve elegantly. We will deliver the power of power shifts to generate. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack social-network-based, intuitive convergence. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating.