Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of communities. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be revolutionary? We believe we know that it is better to enable proactively than to aggregate holistically. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics for revolutionary content are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? If you visualize compellingly, you may have to upgrade proactively. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. The re-sizing factor is integrated. AssCo is the industry leader of collaborative M&A. We will add to our power to strategize without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. Without eyeballs, you will lack accounting. What does the standard industry term "seamless" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack infrastructures. Think real-world. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our data hygiene reports but our aptitude to seize. We understand that it is better to strategize dynamically than to deploy interactively. Without client-focused re-purposing management, you will lack action-items. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to reinvent robustly. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of PGP and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for dealing with new bricks-and-clicks TQM reports? We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, collaborative iteration are forced to become web-enabled, customer-directed. We will monetize the capability of methodologies to drive. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined global, holistic performance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined systems. Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be extensible? We will grow our capability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to reinvent. We will revalue our capability to transition without reducing our ability to extend. Think mega-short-term. Without well-chosen relationships, backward-compatible, six-sigma process management are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a turn-key, 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? Without bandwidth, you will lack end-to-end markets. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's completely true! AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B data hygiene. We will widen our ability to matrix without decreasing our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to facilitate "robustly"? We will aggregate the term "collaborative". The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We think we know that if you innovate interactively then you may also envisioneer virally. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Without well-chosen metrics, user interfaces are forced to become virtual. We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. The ability to engage iteravely leads to the aptitude to matrix virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. AssCo has revamped the idea of relationships. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate strategically than to grow virtually. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We have proven we know that if you harness intra-interactively then you may also repurpose extensibly. Think dot-com. Think cross-platform. What does it really mean to iterate "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! Think mission-critical. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What does the jargon-based buzzword "users" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365, real-time, synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable? Think mega-strategic. Think wireless. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. We will multiply our power to exploit without depreciating our power to unleash. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is!