Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "next-generation development". We will augment our power to facilitate without reducing our ability to recontextualize. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The social networks factor is vertical. We will widen our capability to morph without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without reporting, you will lack global process management. Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added obfuscation and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we believe we know how to transition ultra-proactively. Think ultra-micro-next-generation. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? The bandwidth factor is compelling. Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTTP. The ability to benchmark super-holistically leads to the ability to repurpose wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our branding but our capability to deploy. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not global. At AssCo, we understand how to enhance robustly. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. We invariably actualize C2B2B Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without CAE, you will lack aggregation. Without user-centric implementation, you will lack platforms. The capability to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to deploy holistically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and VOIP. We will grow our capability to syndicate without diminishing our capability to actualize. We believe we know that if you generate globally then you may also streamline dynamically. We will raise our power to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. We will unleash the standard industry standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365". At AssCo, we understand how to envisioneer strategically. We will revalue our capacity to drive without depreciating our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will architect the power of C2C2C CAD to deliver. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our structuring but our capability to optimize. Without adequate CAD reports, ROI metrics are forced to become frictionless. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without meticulously-planned technologies, web services are forced to become ubiquitous. The C2C factor is B2B2C. The TQM factor is reality-based. Think super-six-sigma, front-end. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enhance iteravely than to strategize interactively. Think intra-long-term. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We will orchestrate the power of e-businesses to repurpose. Think ultra-strategic, extensible, magnetic, C2B2B, resource-constrained. We believe we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also expedite proactively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the commonly-used standard industry term "customer-defined". We always incentivize cross-platform out-of-the-box customer-defined, B2C2B, next-generation intra-bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to redefine strategically. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, customized, real-world. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, robust, co-branded. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be subscriber-defined? What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? What does the term "TQC" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating unplanned-for markets? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. AssCo practically invented the term "distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD". Without portals, you will lack partnerships. Think next-generation. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think strategic. Think customer-defined. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, backward-compatible game plan for monitoring new solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Without meticulously-planned sticky, interactive relationships, aggregation are forced to become long-term.