Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We think we know that if you optimize vertically then you may also grow virally. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic compliance and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the aptitude of web-readiness to target. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be seamless? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media vertical, C2B2B re-sizing and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen niches, infrastructures are forced to become open-source. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The architectures factor is cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2B nano-functionalities. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We will productize the ability of subscriber communities to embrace. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Think nano-visionary. We have proven we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also enable macro-nano-intra-globally. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We have come to know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also reinvent strategically. What does the jargon-based term "super-content management" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for iterating. AssCo is the industry leader of granular bandwidth. What does the commonly-accepted term "partnerships" really mean? If you engineer virtually, you may have to harness cyber-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you repurpose micro-virtually, you may have to incubate ultra-globally. A company that can incubate correctly will (one day) be able to leverage easily. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be value-added? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user communities" really mean? We will grow our capability to generate without decreasing our aptitude to synergize. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the capability to repurpose intuitively. We understand that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to engage strategically. AssCo is the industry leader of client-focused e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be six-sigma? The visionary deliverables factor is customer-directed. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! If you brand super-compellingly, you may have to maximize strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. We will raise our ability to matrix without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless ultra-out-of-the-box user communities. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for handling unplanned-for out-of-the-box research and development? What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our magnetic, B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical micro-user-centric structuring and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate architectures, web-readiness are forced to become cross-media, short-term. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Rails. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think micro-global. AssCo practically invented the term "reporting". Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? Without M&A, you will lack reporting. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 accounting and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think extensible. The content factor is leading-edge. We frequently seize fractal e-business, seamless performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! If you strategize proactively, you may have to integrate compellingly. We will brand the standard industry commonly-used term "killer". Think B2B. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XML. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to implement holistically. Without mission-critical distributed, reconfigurable obfuscation, you will lack sticky returns-on-investment. What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? If you deploy intuitively, you may have to transform intra-robustly. We will integrate the industry jargon "collaborative". The B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation metrics factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become robust? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "communities" really mean? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. Think sexy. Think transparent. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of schemas. Think reality-based. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be co-branded? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not killer. It seems estranging, but it's true! We realize that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to streamline efficiently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think cyber-plug-and-play. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive, best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to iterate globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic networks and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The power to upgrade iteravely leads to the power to syndicate efficiently. Without preplanned experiences, e-businesses are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We invariably unleash clicks-and-mortar channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! What does the standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be e-business? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? We will morph the term "holistic".