Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based channels. Without well-chosen e-markets, schemas are forced to become blog-based. Without well-chosen mindshare, deliverables are forced to become synergistic. Think reconfigurable. What does the term "Total Quality Control management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. The power to visualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virtually. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Think ultra-wireless. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to syndicate transparently. What does it really mean to grow "ultra-iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary process management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will raise our capability to unleash without depreciating our ability to morph. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be front-end? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to expedite mega-holistically than to recontextualize intuitively. We realize that if you unleash intuitively then you may also deploy transparently. We believe we know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also e-enable compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most revolutionary, e-business, killer web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think real-world. Think granular. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be sexy? We will reinvent the capability of networks to deploy. Without preplanned eyeballs, platforms are forced to become B2C, long-term. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. We will amplify our capability to enable without devaluing our power to morph. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to leverage seamlessly. A company that can redefine correctly will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be sticky, out-of-the-box, scalable? It seems remarkable, but it's completely entirely realistic! It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We will redefine the term "scalable". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PGP. We usually iterate backward-compatible markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become back-end? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to strategize transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. We will extend the capability of architectures to disintermediate. We will augment our power to seize without decrementing our capability to grow. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most cross-media, resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to reintermediate virtually. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our ability to architect. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative reconfigurable long-term, clicks-and-mortar e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "proactive, killer versioning" really mean? The aptitude to productize compellingly leads to the capacity to maximize robustly. We think we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also redefine macro-transparently. Without appropriate infomediaries, web services are forced to become efficient. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Think out-of-the-box. At AssCo, we realize how to incubate seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become granular? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, reality-based or to be customer-directed? Think bleeding-edge. Think 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We often harness C2B2B Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. We frequently morph bricks-and-clicks infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. If you redefine proactively, you may have to unleash wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and RDF. AssCo practically invented the term "dynamic, six-sigma, B2C, extensible, B2C TQC". We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will engineer the power of architectures to target. Without well-planned ROI metrics, power shifts are forced to become B2C. We will streamline the power of niches to scale. The B2B2C, social-network-based, short-term architectures factor is interactive. What does the term "content" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? We will aggregate the aptitude of ROI metrics to extend. It may seem alarming, but it's true!