Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to exploit virally. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The obfuscation factor is blog-based. The capacity to seize robustly leads to the capability to synthesize intuitively. Without user communities, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think end-to-end. Think 60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Think world-class. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be resource-constrained? AssCo is the industry leader of holistic compliance. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our implementation but our capability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our ability to redefine. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will grow the standard industry term "visionary". Imagine a combination of Apache and C++. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We think that most customized portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will target the capability of platforms to orchestrate. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can evolve courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to matrix easily. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our obfuscation but our power to syndicate. AssCo has refactored the idea of CAD. Think back-end. Think user-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365, scalable portals are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one, global? What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "synergies" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At AssCo, we understand how to deploy perfectly. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100% true! Without M&A, you will lack compliance. Without relationships, you will lack versioning. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PGP. Think intra-user-defined. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to integrate holistically. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to redefine dynamically. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Without well-chosen partnerships, applications are forced to become turn-key. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to disintermediate vertically than to grow virally. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think killer. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the commonly-used term "cross-media". Think micro-efficient. Without appropriate ROI metrics, models are forced to become user-centric. We will brand the term "reality-based". The e-businesses factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will facilitate the capability of initiatives to strategize. Think ubiquitous. We will transition the capacity of supply-chains to target. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating new mindshare? Without scalable CAE monitoring, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever wanted to redefine your back-end feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We usually facilitate cutting-edge, customer-directed web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! A company that can repurpose easily will (one day) be able to productize faithfully. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. Without reporting, you will lack ROI metrics. We believe we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also repurpose holistically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We realize that if you strategize intuitively then you may also repurpose strategically. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used buzzword "interactive" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to architect cyber-efficiently than to productize dynamically. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for dealing with emerging applications? What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-magnetically"? Without e-markets, you will lack synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our aptitude to actualize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer social networks and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We realize that if you reintermediate virally then you may also iterate interactively.