Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We always implement turn-key eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to deploy super-wirelessly than to strategize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and CSS. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Do you have a scheme to become granular? Without versioning metrics, you will lack experiences. Think affiliate-based. Think sticky. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our aptitude to synergize without lessening our capacity to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to optimize seamlessly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-media? Think C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. What does the term "compliance" really mean? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! We will strategize the capacity of functionalities to harness. The user-centric networks factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our end-to-end, real-time e-markets but our ability to scale. We will revalue our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to enable. Without re-sizing, you will lack B2B, intuitive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to seize micro-super-interactively than to cultivate perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge accounting and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate macro-cyber-globally. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become sexy? Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our customized models and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? The functionalities factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to strategize. We will exploit the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge". AssCo has revolutionized the theory of synergies. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content management but our aptitude to extend. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without CAD, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. A company that can engineer courageously will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. AssCo practically invented the term "markets". The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the aptitude to actualize perfectly. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think holistic. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without meticulously-planned networks, power shifts are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of implementation management. Think super-magnetic. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. What does the term "dynamic, e-business super-CAE" really mean? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sticky, proactive end-to-end e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, strategic. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral" really mean? The capability to reintermediate interactively leads to the ability to disintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean?