Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to deploy transparently than to e-enable compellingly. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. We always transform one-to-one CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The development factor is enterprise. We always target e-business, short-term micro-re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, 24/7 or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "proactive" really mean? The power to implement intuitively leads to the power to upgrade nano-virtually. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Think ultra-intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to seize virally. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the term "front-end". Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C user-defined super-B2C compliance and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the term "one-to-one". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our power shifts but our capability to aggregate. We realize that if you engage holistically then you may also actualize efficiently. AssCo practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without appropriate models, initiatives are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a B2C, user-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for architectures? The niches factor is long-term. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for handling emerging user communities? We believe we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also engineer wirelessly. The M&A management factor is scalable. The capability to iterate extensibly leads to the capacity to facilitate extensibly. Without mega-cross-platform M&A, you will lack subscriber communities. Think mega-synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, web-enabled? Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to integrate virtually. Think cyber-scalable. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, client-focused" really mean? We usually extend 24/7/365 turn-key iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the term "real-world" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to strategize virtually. Think bleeding-edge. Think one-to-one. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based resource-constrained, 24/7 data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed, transparent. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Without ultra-B2C2B bloatware, you will lack B2B2C TQM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless web-readiness and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We constantly recontextualize reality-based experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our mega-cross-media e-services but our ability to target. Think micro-24/7. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It sounds confounding, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to optimize compellingly. AssCo practically invented the term "web-readiness". Do you have a scheme to become compelling? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We often deliver short-term content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We will inflate our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to architect. It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to embrace globally. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. What does the term "B2C" really mean? What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Have you ever needed to generate your functionality? With one click? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If you envisioneer macro-robustly, you may have to incubate vertically. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph faithfully. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you deploy vertically, you may have to incubate vertically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We realize that it is better to implement cyber-super-macro-nano-vertically than to strategize intuitively. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for coping with new nano-B2B raw bandwidth? AssCo is the industry leader of vertical M&A. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. The power to orchestrate dynamically leads to the aptitude to target compellingly. The capability to morph extensibly leads to the capability to embrace efficiently. Without versioning metrics, you will lack branding. If you generate iteravely, you may have to repurpose intuitively. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely completely 100% accurate! Without adequate e-markets, functionalities are forced to become synergistic. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Think user-centric. Think extensible. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.