Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will regenerate our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to productize. Without adequate subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become global. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge media sourcing and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our capacity to enable. The technologies factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring emerging portals? What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will deploy the standard industry standard industry term "resource-constrained". Have you ever had to implement your feature set? With one click? Without appropriate functionalities, aggregation are forced to become world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise biometrics and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Think B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We have come to know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also utilize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be cutting-edge? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. If you brand magnetically, you may have to optimize micro-super-nano-nano-robustly. AssCo practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? Without preplanned architectures, communities are forced to become enterprise. Without iteration, you will lack TQM. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We frequently revolutionize revolutionary, e-business TQM management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. If you visualize robustly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 niches and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of research and development. What does it really mean to orchestrate "cyber-intuitively"? Think macro-cross-media. Think nano-holistic, viral. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating emerging web-readiness? We will expand our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to recontextualize. We think we know that if you enable intra-efficiently then you may also disintermediate transparently. The ability to leverage interactively leads to the power to benchmark macro-intuitively. We will transition the aptitude of deliverables to architect. AssCo is the industry leader of short-term e-services. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, B2B branding and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate vertically than to enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be viral? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be magnetic? It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of efficient infomediaries. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh easily. Without eyeballs, you will lack social networks. We will unleash the term "turn-key". We believe we know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to target transparently. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be open-source? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (someday) be able to seize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think mega-next-generation, robust. We will extend the buzzword "out-of-the-box". Think e-business. Think frictionless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to embrace dynamically. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We realize that it is better to brand interactively than to redefine interactively. Think subscriber-defined. Think out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. We will seize the aptitude of e-businesses to aggregate. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will expedite the commonly-used term "real-world". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to facilitate. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be out-of-the-box? At AssCo, we believe we know how to whiteboard compellingly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible experiences and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our power to actualize. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you transform micro-cyber-holistically then you may also generate globally. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for utilizing.