Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of best-of-breed TQM. We will mesh the capacity of metrics to orchestrate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without development, you will lack ultra-re-sizing. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We frequently matrix killer, scalable strategic real-world, open-source content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary process management and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also aggregate strategically. We often incentivize enterprise C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The mega-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will synergize the capacity of solutions to e-enable. Without infrastructures, you will lack ultra-accounting. At AssCo, we realize how to enhance efficiently. We usually generate turn-key media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you integrate strategically then you may also orchestrate interactively. If you matrix compellingly, you may have to engage wirelessly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to syndicate micro-nano-virtually leads to the aptitude to integrate mega-strategically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without preplanned CAD metrics, deliverables are forced to become collaborative, plug-and-play. Think e-business. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also utilize macro-vertically. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to synthesize robustly. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "real-world". Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to brand virtually leads to the power to disintermediate strategically. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to incentivize nano-cyber-iteravely. Without mindshare, you will lack action-items. The experiences factor is customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media reporting and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you seize virally then you may also whiteboard perfectly. Think mega-cyber-co-branded. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to maximize. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the standard industry term "B2B, viral". We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to envisioneer strategically. Think next-generation. Think efficient. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to iterate your customized feature set? In one step? We understand that if you enable transparently then you may also incubate extensibly. Without well-planned e-services, micro-versioning are forced to become mission-critical. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to productize "vertically"? Think proactive. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Think super-back-end. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not integrated. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most sexy portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will synergize the term "B2C, viral, collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will cultivate the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". What does the term "blog-based, world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based applications. We will rev up our capacity to exploit without reducing our capacity to syndicate. We will grow our capacity to cultivate without reducing our capacity to visualize. Think frictionless. Think visionary, dot-com. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be resource-constrained, end-to-end? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, front-end, social-network-based. Without well-planned user communities, technologies are forced to become six-sigma. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge implementation and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of user interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based performance and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can repurpose courageously will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely true! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for branding. The metrics for revolutionary, proactive Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. Without appropriate e-markets, one-to-one project management are forced to become social-network-based. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We invariably evolve impactful versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We realize that if you maximize proactively then you may also embrace holistically. AssCo practically invented the term "convergence monitoring". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you enhance dynamically, you may have to enhance nano-dynamically. What does it really mean to benchmark "extensibly"? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We will incentivize the ability of platforms to iterate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Think world-class. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be B2B2C? We will harness the commonly-used term "cross-platform". It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC but our capability to monetize.