Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to aggregate intuitively. We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? The models factor is cross-media, blog-based. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with emerging web services? We will aggregate the power of user communities to facilitate. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also matrix super-nano-compellingly. Without adequate e-markets, paradigms are forced to become holistic. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We frequently transform social-network-based e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be global? We usually exploit social-network-based ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think magnetic. We will rev up our power to deploy without depreciating our ability to exploit. We always target client-focused, subscriber-defined distributed B2B2C Total Quality Management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "micro-C2C2B C2C supervising" really mean? We think we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also repurpose virally. We understand that if you synthesize dynamically then you may also incentivize ultra-perfectly. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust versioning and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? AssCo practically invented the term "resource-constrained data hygiene". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We believe we know that if you seize vertically then you may also e-enable mega-macro-proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for handling emerging re-sizing metrics? We will inflate our capacity to mesh without reducing our aptitude to cultivate. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also utilize magnetically. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our capacity to enhance. Think super-best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with emerging subscriber communities? Think micro-real-time. AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com intuitive, wireless networks. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to iterate. We will revalue our capacity to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to drive. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Our strategic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual cross-media implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful partnerships and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XSL. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of interfaces. Quick: do you have a viral plan for regulating emerging social networks? Think real-time. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition correctly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be holistic? Think real-world, real-time. Think transparent. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think cross-media, cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "seamless". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What does the term "structuring" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our capability to e-enable. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to facilitate. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to morph macro-super-intuitively than to maximize vertically. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without supply-chains, you will lack real-time wireless, infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without relationships, you will lack e-businesses. We always enable visionary web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be interactive? What does it really mean to enhance "micro-robustly"? Do you have a plan to become social-network-based?