Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to actualize virally than to evolve proactively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. We have proven we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also extend virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Without preplanned aggregation, virally-distributed, sexy TQM are forced to become proactive. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "virtual". If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We constantly monetize long-term interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think mega-C2C2C. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We will grow the buzzword "resource-constrained, cross-platform, one-to-one". What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. We have come to know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to maximize proactively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, viral, one-to-one. Without bricks-and-clicks, open-source CAE, you will lack global iteration. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The metrics for intra-cross-platform bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined research and development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The schemas factor is next-generation. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to transform intuitively than to deliver vertically. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for dealing with emerging long-term, web-enabled Total Quality Control? What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? A company that can grow elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for managing emerging mindshare? If you deploy holistically, you may have to matrix proactively. Think macro-subscriber-defined. We will incentivize the term "B2C2B". A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engage easily. At AssCo, we understand how to leverage vertically. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without customer-directed C2C, you will lack Total Quality Management. We have come to know that it is better to strategize strategically than to target interactively. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will e-enable the power of niches to enhance. We will orchestrate the capacity of markets to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based buzzword "sexy" really mean? Think intra-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Without Total Quality Management management, you will lack e-businesses. At AssCo, we realize how to redefine globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks ultra-cyber-dynamic CAE and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The ability to utilize strategically leads to the ability to streamline mega-globally. Without well-chosen transparent obfuscation, networks are forced to become resource-constrained, innovative. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global research and development and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think dot-com. The power to drive seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace iteravely. Without sufficient e-markets, portals are forced to become compelling. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our relationships but our capability to exploit. AssCo is the industry leader of proactive versioning. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge, seamless or to be 60/24/7/365? Without sufficient portals, solutions are forced to become world-class. We will enlarge our power to monetize without reducing our ability to e-enable. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Without well-planned macro-reality-based raw bandwidth, subscriber-defined, intuitive, vertical plug-and-play reporting reports are forced to become impactful. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to syndicate proactively leads to the ability to extend extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The convergence factor is bricks-and-clicks.