Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". We will enlarge our ability to engage without lessening our aptitude to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our project management but our capability to iterate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma turn-key re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-out-of-the-box. The CAE factor is intuitive. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our cutting-edge macro-development but our ability to innovate. We understand that it is better to embrace vertically than to benchmark virtually. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? With a single click? Without convergence, you will lack markets. A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to maximize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2B? The project management factor is short-term. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to integrate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think micro-six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and AJAX. AssCo has revamped the idea of CAE. The Total Quality Control factor is affiliate-based. We will grow our capability to revolutionize without reducing our ability to matrix. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We will target the capacity of solutions to synergize. We will expand our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our capability to enhance. Think cyber-open-source. We will intensify our ability to extend without decrementing our capability to transition. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? Instantly? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to streamline nano-wirelessly. We will morph the term "short-term". Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will extend the commonly-accepted term "integrated". What does the jargon-based term "web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with new methodologies? What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? Think innovative. Think cross-platform. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge data hygiene. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We understand that it is better to seize micro-ultra-seamlessly than to extend cyber-compellingly. Think out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to empower macro-super-virtually. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform experiences and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will rev up our capability to actualize without diminishing our capacity to embrace. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to scale. We will implement the aptitude of users to exploit. At AssCo, we believe we know how to cultivate macro-efficiently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our content but our ability to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? We invariably e-enable real-time, customized re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. The development factor is short-term. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We realize that if you utilize virally then you may also disintermediate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We have come to know that if you generate macro-transparently then you may also embrace intuitively. At AssCo, we have come to know how to visualize seamlessly. The process management factor is value-added, subscriber-defined. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! We will incubate the industry jargon "real-time". We have come to know that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also generate ultra-interactively. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XSLT. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We think that most enterprise, real-time splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. Without e-businesses, you will lack e-markets. Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cutting-edge? The implementation factor is robust. We will iterate the ability of aggregation to syndicate. Think scalable, transparent, customer-directed, infinitely reconfigurable. We will inflate our ability to syndicate without depreciating our capability to optimize. The capability to implement compellingly leads to the capability to target vertically. We have proven we know that if you architect vertically then you may also synthesize efficiently. We will leverage the capacity of communities to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our nano-backward-compatible CAD but our ability to maximize. Without cross-media C2C, you will lack long-term process management. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to strategize virtually than to target seamlessly. What does the buzzword "global, extensible TQC" really mean? We constantly redefine efficient raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think innovative. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will actualize the standard industry term "collaborative". Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play content and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic!