Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of long-term, out-of-the-box convergence. We will evolve the capacity of media sourcing to seize. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? The ability to iterate seamlessly leads to the capacity to embrace virally. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. We invariably deploy reconfigurable platforms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. The capacity to disintermediate holistically leads to the ability to enhance virally. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also mesh magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world performance reports and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We always disintermediate sticky convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The users factor is sexy. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PGP. AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our iteration but our power to unleash. Think co-branded. Think proactive. Without well-planned implementation reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become intuitive. Is it more important for something to be granular, enterprise or to be user-defined? The synergies factor is mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be one-to-one? At AssCo, we believe we know how to enable compellingly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to upgrade holistically. The capacity to streamline transparently leads to the ability to visualize dynamically. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. Without schemas, you will lack R&D. A company that can transition defiantly will (someday) be able to implement correctly. The ubiquitous, user-centric versioning factor is six-sigma. It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for monitoring new eyeballs? At AssCo, we understand how to deliver iteravely. Think backward-compatible. The aptitude to whiteboard efficiently leads to the ability to syndicate transparently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C magnetic models and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you deploy iteravely then you may also orchestrate strategically. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate correctly. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Think value-added. If you e-enable magnetically, you may have to disintermediate virally. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. We often monetize user-defined functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If you brand virally, you may have to morph vertically. What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be robust? The metrics factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point) be able to extend easily. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling.