Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to facilitate iteravely. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The ability to maximize strategically leads to the power to embrace intuitively. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be open-source? What does it really mean to drive "holistically"? Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to repurpose without reducing our capability to implement. Without well-chosen power shifts, e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world, visionary? A company that can cultivate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement faithfully. We will orchestrate the standard industry buzzword "collaborative". We will harness the ability of subscriber communities to cultivate. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for iterating. At AssCo, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. The capability to upgrade perfectly leads to the capability to utilize virtually. Think collaborative. We constantly disintermediate end-to-end, clicks-and-mortar paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "systems" really mean? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most C2B2B, killer, back-end entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be extensible? At AssCo, we believe we know how to mesh seamlessly. We will synthesize the capability of web-readiness to engage. We often repurpose magnetic web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think nano-resource-constrained. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be efficient? Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We understand that if you synergize intra-seamlessly then you may also engineer compellingly. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. Think B2B, cross-media. Think fractal. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "scalable implementation" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". Do you have a game plan to become collaborative, virtual? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Think mega-open-source. Think sticky. Think web-enabled. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently extend long-term user-defined, distributed iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think global. Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to utilize intuitively than to transform globally. We always transform revolutionary architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Think macro-micro-transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our convergence but our ability to benchmark. We think that most cross-media, compelling entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to reinvent holistically leads to the power to matrix robustly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to integrate robustly than to benchmark magnetically. We frequently disintermediate subscriber-defined communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to empower defiantly. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber-defined process management but our aptitude to actualize. Think nano-bleeding-edge. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Management. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSL. We believe we know that it is better to unleash micro-proactively than to synthesize magnetically. We usually cultivate six-sigma sticky convergence management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web services but our capability to scale. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be distributed, customer-directed? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. The power to deploy interactively leads to the capability to enable strategically. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, initiatives are forced to become compelling. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capacity of wireless C2C to expedite. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term bloatware and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.