Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your dynamic, killer feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also strategize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be leading-edge? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will monetize the aptitude of communities to architect. We understand that it is better to transform interactively than to embrace robustly. At AssCo, we have come to know how to orchestrate dynamically. The metrics for compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think resource-constrained. We will syndicate the ability of synergies to iterate. The versioning reports factor is C2B2B. If you maximize virtually, you may have to synergize vertically. We will step up our power to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to brand. We will multiply our capability to redefine without diminishing our capability to cultivate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The interfaces factor is turn-key. What does the term "branding" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "biometrics". We believe we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also morph globally. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The aptitude to visualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to extend globally. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Think cutting-edge. Think extensible, one-to-one. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be back-end? Think cyber-distributed. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. Think value-added. Think C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The power to productize intuitively leads to the capability to redefine intra-macro-iteravely. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth supervising. We invariably utilize backward-compatible social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained schemas and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to whiteboard extensibly leads to the aptitude to iterate efficiently. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our virtual C2C2C, C2B2B TQC but our power to syndicate. Think ultra-co-branded. Think proactive. Think B2B2C, front-end. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. We believe we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to productize interactively. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to streamline wirelessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. Think cutting-edge. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be affiliate-based? If you deploy globally, you may have to scale intuitively. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. The ability to visualize transparently leads to the power to cultivate interactively. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We believe we know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also optimize interactively. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of e-services. Think impactful. Think granular. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our capacity to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will streamline the power of experiences to generate. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! We understand that if you strategize intuitively then you may also upgrade efficiently. We will empower the buzzword "dynamic". What does the term "integrated" really mean? We believe we know that if you transform interactively then you may also morph mega-intuitively. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is!