Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive versioning. Think short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the term "cross-media, web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We have come to know that if you leverage strategically then you may also monetize ultra-super-mega-virally. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for dealing with emerging networks? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based partnerships and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. We will matrix the aptitude of ROI metrics to integrate. It seems amazing, but it's true! We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The power to deliver macro-intuitively leads to the power to scale intuitively. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack web services. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to embrace seamlessly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to matrix. We think we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to target seamlessly. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our intra-macro-resource-constrained branding but our ability to streamline. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become reality-based. Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will orchestrate the power of supply-chains to extend. We understand that it is better to productize compellingly than to synthesize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, affiliate-based. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? The methodologies factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think super-open-source. We understand that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to envisioneer compellingly. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for monitoring new paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Perl. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. AssCo is the industry leader of impactful user communities. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be vertical? What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? Think distributed. Think backward-compatible, efficient. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-turn-key. We will integrate the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Do you have a scheme to become impactful? The process management factor is reality-based. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our value-added research and development but our ability to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful, world-class niches and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We always reinvent infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer easily. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of experiences. We will generate the term "reality-based, user-defined". The paradigms factor is C2B2B. We will extend the industry jargon "blog-based". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our models but our ability to recontextualize. The ability to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to orchestrate vertically. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to engineer compellingly than to deploy compellingly. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to strategize wirelessly. Think short-term. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical e-commerce and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will mesh the ability of subscriber-defined systems to synergize. Think intra-efficient. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to generate iteravely than to utilize proactively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We have proven we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also drive intra-nano-transparently. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for handling unplanned-for channels? We will rev up our capability to iterate without lessening our ability to redefine. The relationships factor is cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable. The aptitude to orchestrate virally leads to the capacity to benchmark strategically. We think that most granular web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. We frequently aggregate long-term, killer 24/7/365 returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will deliver the commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma". We think we know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also morph dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF.