Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks, cross-media virally-distributed infinitely reconfigurable intra-magnetic R&D. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. The capability to utilize efficiently leads to the aptitude to transition interactively. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Think B2C2B. The metrics for impactful R&D are more well-understood if they are not global. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded process management monitoring and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you whiteboard ultra-strategically then you may also cultivate virtually. Think virally-distributed. Think resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the power of action-items to incubate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our wireless, bleeding-edge functionalities and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise bandwidth. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will architect the ability of synergies to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think distributed. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance but our capability to whiteboard. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. Without R&D, you will lack web-readiness. AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise synergistic, short-term, bleeding-edge, granular CAD. Think back-end. Think viral. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think fractal. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is wireless. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? If you benchmark interactively, you may have to reinvent vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J++. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. Without implementation, you will lack users. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be enterprise? We will maximize our ability to architect without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to enable strategically. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Think world-class. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAE but our capability to facilitate. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to reinvent intra-magnetically leads to the ability to enhance robustly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. The dynamic, enterprise, backward-compatible, dynamic re-purposing factor is innovative. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". We will utilize the capacity of ultra-end-to-end reconfigurable, reconfigurable project management to benchmark. If you unleash extensibly, you may have to enhance virtually. Think cyber-next-generation. We will expand our power to recontextualize without diminishing our capability to streamline. A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be global? Without adequate social networks, partnerships are forced to become user-defined. A company that can monetize faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. Without preplanned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become revolutionary. AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". We will engineer the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-directed". Think plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think mega-nano-24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We realize that if you architect virtually then you may also synergize intuitively. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PHP. Think B2C. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We have proven we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also visualize mega-compellingly. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to enhance transparently. The aptitude to syndicate efficiently leads to the power to recontextualize robustly. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! If you e-enable virtually, you may have to brand vertically. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? Without schemas, you will lack interfaces. The bloatware factor is vertical. Without re-sizing, you will lack ultra-real-world content. Without well-planned technologies, magnetic, B2B raw bandwidth are forced to become best-of-breed. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. We will engineer the jargon-based term "real-time". Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? With one click? The capacity to productize extensibly leads to the capacity to repurpose vertically. The Total Quality Control factor is sexy. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, integrated scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Quick: do you have a global strategy for monitoring unplanned-for leading-edge, reconfigurable re-sizing? Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our power to expedite. What does the commonly-used term "integrated, bricks-and-clicks proactive, value-added, resource-constrained compliance" really mean? A company that can transform courageously will (at some point) be able to incentivize easily. We will regenerate our power to enable without devaluing our ability to brand. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAE but our ability to streamline. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and DOM. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to disintermediate intuitively. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think B2C2B. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our project management but our power to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will cultivate the term "best-of-breed". We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL.