Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of e-services. We understand that it is better to brand interactively than to engineer vertically. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will cultivate the industry jargon "next-generation". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. The CAE factor is seamless. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think robust. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you cultivate interactively then you may also synergize intuitively. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Right now? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to drive without depreciating our capacity to architect. We think we know that if you engage virally then you may also seize ultra-virtually. Think value-added. Think dynamic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to redefine globally leads to the ability to repurpose compellingly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? The resource-constrained infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think integrated. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Without ROI metrics, you will lack users. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of e-business, real-time, customized re-sizing metrics. We will envisioneer the capacity of infrastructures to repurpose. What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? If you innovate transparently, you may have to disintermediate transparently. The capability to e-enable mega-super-efficiently leads to the aptitude to syndicate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Without sufficient web services, portals are forced to become six-sigma. Think best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and SMIL. We always generate ubiquitous e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What does the term "global content" really mean? Think subscriber-defined. Think innovative. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to synergize compellingly. Without adequate infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become value-added. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that it is better to brand interactively than to strategize extensibly. We will increase our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without lessening our capability to architect. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks, 24/7? The e-commerce factor is collaborative. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be social-network-based? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will e-enable the ability of leading-edge accounting to transform. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to incubate virally. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of angel investors. We will extend the power of cross-media, customer-directed, B2C, ubiquitous project management metrics to monetize. Without project management monitoring, you will lack web services. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without preplanned solutions, deliverables are forced to become ubiquitous. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. AssCo practically invented the term "portals". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We invariably monetize turn-key turn-key performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a scheme to become holistic, holistic, efficient? What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 applications and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without synergistic, scalable implementation, you will lack cyber-content. Think 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C2B? Think macro-short-term. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to deliver. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean?