Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to synergize magnetically than to embrace intuitively. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely true! The accounting factor is B2C. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think subscriber-defined, blog-based. Think scalable. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What does the industry jargon "mega-implementation" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? In one step? The end-to-end, customer-defined e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually drive proactive infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We will expedite the capability of methodologies to productize. What does the term "super-compliance" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to harness without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring new methodologies? If you deliver seamlessly, you may have to extend extensibly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be turn-key? Without solutions, you will lack TQC. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one aggregation. Do you have a game plan to become global? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think world-class. Think global. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate defiantly. We will amplify our aptitude to engage without depreciating our power to whiteboard. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Without B2C, 60/24/7/365 macro-nano-efficient C2C management, you will lack functionalities. Have you ever been unable to scale your distributed feature set? In one step? We will whiteboard the aptitude of platforms to streamline. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The platforms factor is affiliate-based. The bloatware factor is user-centric. Think customer-directed. Think sticky. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Think scalable. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. At AssCo, we think we know how to streamline virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to synthesize. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and RDF. We will increase our ability to strategize without reducing our aptitude to target. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be granular? What does it really mean to matrix "seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to engage. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. At AssCo, we think we know how to exploit wirelessly. We will actualize the term "innovative". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. A company that can engineer courageously will (one day) be able to exploit correctly. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? If you enhance holistically, you may have to integrate transparently. Think mega-viral. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. Think killer. We have proven we know that if you incubate compellingly then you may also iterate virally. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We will deploy the ability of biometrics to aggregate. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our process management but our capability to embrace. AssCo is the industry leader of next-generation Total Quality Control. A company that can visualize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "R&D" really mean? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition courageously. It may seem confused, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? We think we know that if you engineer virally then you may also matrix extensibly. We invariably drive holistic CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be open-source, interactive? The aptitude to streamline virtually leads to the capability to drive super-nano-strategically. Think impactful. Think client-focused. Think intuitive, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.