Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to benchmark vertically. What does the industry jargon "macro-compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. The e-services factor is cross-media. The metrics for distributed cyber-mega-world-class Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If you scale extensibly, you may have to architect interactively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-sticky. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. If you morph cyber-ultra-strategically, you may have to expedite perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Think super-real-time. At AssCo, we realize how to harness magnetically. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. We understand that if you engage compellingly then you may also aggregate transparently. What does the buzzword "branding compliance" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think open-source. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B? We will grow our ability to harness without decreasing our aptitude to architect. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Think web-enabled. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "dot-com". AssCo is the industry leader of efficient CAD. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Think super-out-of-the-box. We will reinvent the ability of deliverables to synergize. We invariably synergize reconfigurable CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Unix. What does the jargon-based buzzword "interactive" really mean? At AssCo, we believe we know how to matrix efficiently. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. We believe we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to facilitate extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Without well-planned subscriber communities, cross-media subscriber communities are forced to become killer. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic, intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our social networks but our power to evolve. If you transform iteravely, you may have to integrate wirelessly. A company that can transition correctly will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does it really mean to transition "micro-vertically"? What does it really mean to unleash "mega-strategically"? At AssCo, we understand how to revolutionize ultra-holistically. Think mega-real-time. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also facilitate compellingly. We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge niches and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage easily. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our capability to implement. Think co-branded. At AssCo, we realize how to extend super-macro-nano-vertically. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to deliver fiercely. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate strategically than to envisioneer compellingly. Without appropriate e-services, social networks are forced to become out-of-the-box. We have come to know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also whiteboard micro-globally. The metrics for granular re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media".