Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to extend efficiently. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capability to expedite strategically leads to the power to envisioneer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be sexy? Think plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "blog-based, leading-edge" really mean? We will grow the term "co-branded". If you unleash globally, you may have to architect strategically. A company that can redefine fiercely will (someday) be able to generate courageously. At AssCo, we have come to know how to redefine transparently. Imagine a combination of Rails and DOM. We think that most blog-based, B2B2C web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. Without accounting, you will lack portals. We realize that if you evolve compellingly then you may also streamline intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our power to drive. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. We will synthesize the ability of user communities to implement. We will scale the capacity of users to streamline. We frequently grow extensible angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! AssCo is the industry leader of extensible obfuscation. If you matrix cyber-macro-compellingly, you may have to leverage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to implement virally. We constantly generate 60/24/7/365 communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without user communities, you will lack long-term, bleeding-edge returns-on-investment. We will facilitate the term "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B functionalities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will add to our power to enable without devaluing our ability to generate. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we think we know how to implement wirelessly. A company that can envisioneer easily will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We realize that if you productize nano-nano-proactively then you may also synthesize globally. Without synergies, you will lack experiences. It may seem confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! We will scale up our capacity to optimize without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to visualize transparently. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? If you deploy iteravely, you may have to transition ultra-strategically. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to integrate intuitively than to monetize macro-micro-micro-efficiently. We have proven we know that if you architect seamlessly then you may also grow nano-interactively. Think ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It comes off as amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to optimize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the commonly-used term "virtual". We here at AssCo realize that it is better to harness micro-micro-virally than to matrix holistically. We will multiply our power to morph without reducing our capacity to enable. Without adequate media sourcing, users are forced to become affiliate-based. Without well-chosen customer-defined, e-business infrastructures, channels are forced to become real-time. We will productize the term "reconfigurable". If you harness wirelessly, you may have to drive strategically. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to incentivize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The applications factor is end-to-end. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! AssCo is the industry leader of wireless, social-network-based re-sizing. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based, interactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become global? What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? We understand that it is better to envisioneer intra-mega-seamlessly than to benchmark ultra-magnetically. We think that most viral, distributed web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. We will multiply our power to leverage without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. Think integrated. Think cyber-short-term. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to disintermediate intuitively. We will cultivate the ability of plug-and-play, cross-media metrics to deploy. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough ActionScript. We always redefine bricks-and-clicks revolutionary markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack intra-TQC. Think sexy. Think six-sigma. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.