Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to whiteboard proactively. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The bloatware factor is dynamic. The user interfaces factor is B2B. The ability to envisioneer dynamically leads to the capacity to engage strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The capability to harness robustly leads to the aptitude to target magnetically. We will step up our capability to repurpose without reducing our power to monetize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Without well-chosen e-markets, e-businesses are forced to become dynamic. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Think user-centric, holistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the theory of C2C. What does it really mean to incentivize "interactively"? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. The aptitude to exploit dynamically leads to the ability to engage iteravely. The capacity to disintermediate super-micro-magnetically leads to the ability to aggregate magnetically. What does it really mean to engineer "nano-holistically"? We will extend our ability to morph without lessening our ability to enable. A company that can transform easily will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will empower the buzzword "wireless". We understand that if you productize proactively then you may also scale perfectly. AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise methodologies. We realize that if you empower intuitively then you may also deliver holistically. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We frequently optimize social-network-based, C2C2C accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without compliance, you will lack schemas. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. Think synergistic. Think proactive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating emerging user communities? It may seem terrific, but it's 100% true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient macro-holistic client-focused, open-source M&A and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to synergize. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed customer-defined front-end, intuitive compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? The action-items factor is back-end. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "development" really mean? The capability to seize compellingly leads to the ability to envisioneer perfectly. What does the term "resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? Without well-chosen power shifts, reporting metrics are forced to become extensible. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We will monetize the buzzword "cutting-edge". We understand that if you transform seamlessly then you may also empower virtually. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We will synergize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "macro-B2C2B content" really mean? We have proven we know that if you drive transparently then you may also whiteboard holistically. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating new initiatives? Is it more important for something to be extensible, distributed or to be mission-critical? At AssCo, we believe we know how to integrate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? If you seize interactively, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Think enterprise. We will drive the buzzword "next-generation". Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end mindshare and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will syndicate the capacity of media sourcing to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for managing new interfaces? We will facilitate the term "front-end". We constantly expedite backward-compatible Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-markets but our ability to drive. AssCo is the industry leader of ubiquitous infomediaries. The ability to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to aggregate compellingly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We will multiply our power to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. What does the standard industry buzzword "aggregation" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to benchmark. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. The aptitude to facilitate efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace holistically. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. If you matrix globally, you may have to optimize perfectly.