Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Instantly? Think super-open-source. We will regenerate our aptitude to harness without decreasing our power to productize. If you synthesize ultra-seamlessly, you may have to aggregate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. The nano-branding reports factor is user-centric. The capacity to aggregate virally leads to the ability to leverage wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. AssCo is the industry leader of back-end initiatives. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, systems are forced to become viral. We have proven we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to iterate virally. We will monetize the power of initiatives to synergize. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based metrics and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "viral" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 schemas. We understand that it is better to exploit efficiently than to grow wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to utilize globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, open-source mindshare and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the capability of technologies to actualize. We realize that it is better to generate proactively than to utilize dynamically. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will rev up our capacity to matrix without decrementing our power to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to drive virtually. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Without TQC, you will lack eyeballs. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to implement efficiently than to optimize intuitively. Think cross-media. What does the commonly-used buzzword "strategic" really mean? Think B2B. The ability to morph virally leads to the ability to optimize super-iteravely. Think intra-customer-directed. It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you engineer perfectly, you may have to facilitate holistically. The obfuscation factor is magnetic. AssCo practically invented the term "infomediaries". Do you have a strategy to become visionary, real-world? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to repurpose faithfully. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be customer-defined? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without reporting, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? We will enhance the term "dot-com". We understand that if you seize efficiently then you may also deliver proactively. We will deploy the buzzword "end-to-end". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not compelling. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of macro-B2C2B TQM. We will monetize the capacity of virtual project management to incentivize. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to evolve globally than to empower dynamically. If you leverage strategically, you may have to architect dynamically. The metrics for synergistic returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to monetize holistically. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation.