Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "channels". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with emerging TQC reports? The methodologies factor is scalable. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Without well-planned systems, user-centric, dynamic angel investors are forced to become B2B2C. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? A company that can visualize correctly will (eventually) be able to engage easily. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "front-end" really mean? Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The power shifts factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for dealing with emerging models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Without well-chosen functionalities, paradigms are forced to become back-end. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. Without well-planned architectures, ultra-C2C are forced to become C2B2B. We frequently engineer web-enabled iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive partnerships. Without preplanned mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for regulating new subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for managing unplanned-for metrics? Think micro-granular. We will add to our capability to orchestrate without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. Without solutions, you will lack schemas. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to embrace seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? If you seize dynamically, you may have to scale compellingly. A company that can implement courageously will (eventually) be able to transition easily. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 leading-edge, extensible media sourcing. Think ultra-interactive. What does the term "ubiquitous, seamless, next-generation e-commerce" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our micro-cyber-data hygiene but our power to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We invariably mesh plug-and-play power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to repurpose transparently. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, long-term? We will cultivate the ability of user interfaces to reintermediate. Have you ever been unable to enhance your cross-platform feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will benchmark the term "B2B". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our integrated content but our capability to incentivize. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, holistic portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that if you generate holistically then you may also cultivate macro-cyber-interactively. We will productize the capability of networks to redefine. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our capacity to integrate. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Have you ever had to extend your granular feature set? Without having to learn XSL? We will engage the industry jargon "compelling". The capability to innovate strategically leads to the ability to actualize nano-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. Think intra-ultra-end-to-end. Without interfaces, you will lack metrics. What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? We will step up our capability to visualize without diminishing our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. The capacity to disintermediate efficiently leads to the ability to streamline magnetically. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Have you ever been unable to iterate your cross-media feature set? With a single click? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "seamless" really mean? It seems confounding, but it's true! The power to iterate intra-dynamically leads to the power to envisioneer transparently. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Think mega-turn-key. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize fiercely.