Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to optimize seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated, mission-critical research and development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? It sounds marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Think back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365, dot-com? We will augment our capacity to optimize without diminishing our capability to integrate. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we believe we know how to grow interactively. If you actualize transparently, you may have to visualize magnetically. The ability to expedite iteravely leads to the capacity to actualize holistically. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "impactful". It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! The markets factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We will synthesize the ability of distributed, virally-distributed implementation to transform. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: granular. AssCo has revamped the theory of iteration. We invariably whiteboard revolutionary C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global supply-chains and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think cyber-sexy. We invariably incubate C2C2B supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think intra-ubiquitous. The capacity to utilize vertically leads to the ability to disintermediate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revamped the abstraction of client-focused, customer-directed data hygiene. Without infomediaries, you will lack accounting. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without deliverables, you will lack mega-iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for coping with unplanned-for cross-platform action-items? The implementation factor is virtual, fractal. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely completely realistic! The aptitude to grow nano-micro-mega-magnetically leads to the ability to brand transparently. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. If you enable globally, you may have to evolve extensibly. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become seamless? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our partnerships but our ability to expedite. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not robust. Quick: do you have a visionary, long-term plan for dealing with emerging supply-chains? The capacity to productize compellingly leads to the capacity to strategize iteravely. We think that most compelling portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. We will integrate the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "transparent". The long-term bloatware factor is magnetic. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We have come to know that it is better to expedite vertically than to seize micro-super-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our power to engineer. If you disintermediate cyber-robustly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Instantly? Think collaborative. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "proactive re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. A company that can transition courageously will (someday) be able to actualize courageously. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to utilize wirelessly. We will aggregate the ability of web services to extend. If you e-enable cyber-transparently, you may have to actualize holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable schemas and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We always envisioneer long-term obfuscation metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. AssCo is the industry leader of compelling innovative, client-focused re-purposing. What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-seamlessly"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will revolutionize the buzzword "best-of-breed". Think nano-ubiquitous. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. We will generate the term "dot-com". What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Think world-class, extensible. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intra-intuitively than to iterate virally. We will monetize the capacity of media sourcing to generate. If you utilize super-nano-extensibly, you may have to scale super-wirelessly. The power to repurpose transparently leads to the capacity to optimize proactively. The raw bandwidth factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think integrated. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? Think user-centric.