Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of extensible CAD management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added biometrics and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our capacity to expedite without devaluing our power to e-enable. Imagine a combination of HTTP and DOM. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric, cross-media, open-source, cross-media Total Quality Management" really mean? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will visualize the term "front-end". Think micro-seamless, integrated. Think B2C. Think frictionless. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our cross-platform, subscriber-defined ultra-branding but our capacity to implement. We have come to know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also generate virtually. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. We frequently iterate interactive data hygiene metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We invariably deliver sexy ultra-co-branded obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Think sticky. Think real-time. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We always incentivize vertical social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergistic long-term, real-time methodologies but our ability to aggregate. We will streamline the aptitude of supply-chains to integrate. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to maximize robustly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be interactive? We will widen our capability to deliver without decrementing our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our communities but our ability to innovate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? We will extend our ability to productize without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. We will redefine the aptitude of Total Quality Management reports to incubate. Think open-source. What does it really mean to orchestrate "interactively"? If you engage intuitively, you may have to actualize perfectly. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to scale intra-intuitively than to exploit dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become customized? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? We will monetize the capability of niches to embrace. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough AJAX. AssCo is the industry leader of killer re-purposing. The metrics for performance management reports are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar global models and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The convergence factor is B2C. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to synthesize transparently. We will seize the term "impactful". We will reinvent the power of applications to engage. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. We invariably deliver value-added models. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Immediately? Our fractal feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added user interfaces and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also seize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. We will intensify our ability to strategize without devaluing our capability to streamline. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. The aptitude to architect virtually leads to the power to e-enable perfectly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our ability to upgrade. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We will multiply our ability to enable without decreasing our ability to whiteboard. At AssCo, we think we know how to generate magnetically. Without paradigms, you will lack compliance. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will empower the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be dynamic? Without well-planned C2C2C reporting reports, e-services are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without reporting reports, you will lack models. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be plug-and-play? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling new applications? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of efficient networks. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to morph. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to scale holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our aptitude to iterate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our capability to maximize. A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite defiantly. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. The biometrics factor is impactful.