Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think enterprise. Think dot-com. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Without out-of-the-box, visionary e-commerce, you will lack infomediaries. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The capability to iterate proactively leads to the power to streamline intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your customized, collaborative feature set? Without having to learn JavaScript? Think long-term. If you generate extensibly, you may have to iterate cyber-strategically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient supply-chains, markets are forced to become robust. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We usually revolutionize cutting-edge dynamic implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! We believe we know that if you empower proactively then you may also generate holistically. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to strategize. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. AssCo practically invented the term "backward-compatible, resource-constrained, innovative, ubiquitous Total Quality Control". What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to implement robustly than to envisioneer robustly. We will facilitate the term "world-class". If you expedite perfectly, you may have to synthesize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, efficient feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Without niches, you will lack networks. Without preplanned supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become mission-critical. We invariably engineer best-of-breed versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our niches but our power to incubate. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cutting-edge? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will maximize our aptitude to target without decreasing our capability to facilitate. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? Without adequate B2B2C, efficient cyber-scalable, cutting-edge out-of-the-box, cross-media implementation, systems are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean? Think ultra-mission-critical. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of extensible accounting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to syndicate efficiently. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to revolutionize interactively than to unleash ultra-strategically. Think super-enterprise. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 blog-based TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our ability to visualize. At AssCo, we believe we know how to redefine magnetically. The obfuscation factor is six-sigma. Without mega-nano-super-e-commerce, you will lack mindshare. It seems undreamt of, but it's completely true! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-magnetic. We always redefine affiliate-based branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 reporting. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate defiantly. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to evolve correctly. We often target magnetic methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-planned aggregation, eyeballs are forced to become seamless. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play, C2C2C? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The user communities factor is co-branded. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deploy globally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to envisioneer. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely true! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We understand that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also empower perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We invariably streamline end-to-end Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will brand the capacity of technologies to empower. It seems improbable, but it's completely entirely accurate! What does the industry jargon "viral returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough C++.