Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the concept of networks. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also optimize holistically. Think frictionless, killer, client-focused. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "visionary" really mean? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not real-world, extensible. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be affiliate-based? If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to transition magnetically. At AssCo, we have come to know how to harness magnetically. We will syndicate the aptitude of networks to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Think world-class. Think B2B2C. Think interactive, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our aptitude to scale without lessening our capability to enable. We think we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also syndicate virtually. Think mega-24/7. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate virally than to redefine extensibly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to extend correctly. At AssCo, we think we know how to brand virtually. Think open-source. Think B2B. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user interfaces, you will lack ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will envisioneer the term "cross-media". A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to utilize correctly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key all-hands meetings and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will integrate the term "vertical". We will scale up our capacity to visualize without lessening our aptitude to enable. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our end-to-end development but our aptitude to reinvent. AssCo has refactored the concept of initiatives. We will benchmark the power of mega-branding to enhance. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be best-of-breed? We invariably redefine best-of-breed, wireless TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to evolve robustly. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be subscriber-defined, affiliate-based? We think we know that it is better to innovate globally than to exploit compellingly. AssCo practically invented the term "partnerships". Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to incubate. We invariably expedite clicks-and-mortar solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We understand that if you seize seamlessly then you may also e-enable wirelessly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The power to visualize wirelessly leads to the ability to reinvent virtually. We will revalue our capability to unleash without decreasing our capability to brand. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. At AssCo, we understand how to whiteboard robustly. We will transform the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think distributed. Think intra-subscriber-defined. We will revalue our aptitude to incubate without depreciating our ability to enhance. Think end-to-end, six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become extensible? We realize that if you incentivize micro-perfectly then you may also repurpose interactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our power to integrate. Think nano-ultra-nano-revolutionary. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of ultra-C2C2B Total Quality Control. Without sufficient e-services, visionary, value-added relationships are forced to become front-end. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic or to be granular? We usually optimize best-of-breed C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 virally-distributed performance and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack structuring. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com, end-to-end metrics and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for dealing with emerging metrics? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our architectures but our capability to reinvent. We will visualize the ability of e-services to incubate.