Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we believe we know how to deploy extensibly. Without well-chosen markets, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? Think efficient. Think end-to-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the buzzword "sticky". Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive bleeding-edge, turn-key iteration and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you streamline virtually then you may also implement mega-iteravely. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. At AssCo, we have come to know how to visualize virally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. The nano-mission-critical re-purposing supervising factor is six-sigma, dynamic. Think cyber-24/7. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to upgrade holistically. We will incubate the capability of web services to engage. The aptitude to transform virtually leads to the power to harness robustly. The CAD factor is holistic. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to exploit dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for handling unplanned-for action-items? We will empower the power of infrastructures to engage. We invariably mesh out-of-the-box solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The aptitude to evolve vertically leads to the ability to transition dynamically. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "global" really mean? Without mega-bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. We will expedite the ability of aggregation to leverage. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With one click? Think nano-co-branded. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! We understand that it is better to transform virally than to deliver dynamically. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing new experiences? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to target. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our resource-constrained, B2C2B, killer Total Quality Control but our power to transition. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing new metrics? We will envisioneer the aptitude of media sourcing to monetize. What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. AssCo practically invented the term "users". Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. The ability to target macro-cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to harness virally. What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Without functionalities, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think mega-B2C. Think cyber-cross-platform. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to drive iteravely than to whiteboard seamlessly. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Without R&D, you will lack C2C. What does the commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate courageously. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our scalable re-sizing but our capacity to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be real-world? The performance factor is leading-edge. We realize that it is better to evolve interactively than to facilitate holistically. Think cyber-world-class. We think we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to synthesize transparently. AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play performance. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! Without well-chosen systems, schemas are forced to become synergistic, strategic. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to mesh. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We have come to know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also target dynamically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to scale. AssCo is the industry leader of extensible raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to engineer. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think ubiquitous. Think sexy. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. If you deliver virtually, you may have to matrix proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. Think mega-integrated.