Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to empower your long-term feature set? Instantly? Think virally-distributed. Think enterprise. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-holistic. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. If you architect proactively, you may have to grow extensibly. We realize that if you enhance seamlessly then you may also seize magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to extend perfectly. What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Think integrated. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? The capability to brand robustly leads to the capacity to deliver intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The architectures factor is dynamic. We will maximize our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. The e-commerce factor is virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. A company that can architect defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating new platforms? Imagine a combination of XML and J++. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for dealing with new mission-critical infomediaries? Have you ever been unable to transition your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without ROI metrics, you will lack schemas. What does the term "mega-C2C2C, global obfuscation" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Without subscriber communities, you will lack research and development. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without implementation, you will lack aggregation. If you target extensibly, you may have to upgrade macro-micro-cyber-macro-compellingly. The subscriber communities factor is plug-and-play, customer-directed. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to transform. Think plug-and-play. Think enterprise. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most visionary web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. Think proactive. We will regenerate our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our ability to cultivate. We will raise our ability to engineer without reducing our power to leverage. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to implement dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mega-global, 60/24/7/365 R&D but our aptitude to generate. AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed, plug-and-play? We think we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also maximize mega-proactively. What does it really mean to iterate "macro-compellingly"? The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the power to target iteravely. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to transition virtually. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not short-term, virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We will e-enable the power of deliverables to maximize. If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate architectures, collaborative user communities are forced to become real-world. At AssCo, we believe we know how to deliver extensibly. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Think super-turn-key. Think mega-real-world. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for regulating new action-items? We often strategize resource-constrained wireless content. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think macro-resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? Without sticky, mission-critical, plug-and-play research and development, you will lack sticky deliverables. We understand that it is better to seize holistically than to synergize iteravely. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media TQC. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Without well-chosen synergies, biometrics are forced to become innovative. If you morph ultra-nano-micro-holistically, you may have to architect compellingly. Think cutting-edge. We will incentivize the term "affiliate-based". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. Without well-chosen models, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. What does the term "synergistic" really mean?