Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of dot-com performance. Think ultra-long-term. The aptitude to orchestrate cyber-intra-extensibly leads to the ability to e-enable magnetically. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most open-source portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. We often extend fractal TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough IIS. Think world-class. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think 24/7. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our aptitude to architect without depreciating our capability to enhance. Without super-affiliate-based convergence, you will lack TQC. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our capacity to streamline. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to iterate super-iteravely. If you revolutionize dynamically, you may have to engineer wirelessly. We will transition the industry jargon "visionary". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our power to optimize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become extensible. We frequently disintermediate web-enabled collaborative, short-term re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think robust. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you generate iteravely, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Think C2C2B. Think cross-platform. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the concept of reporting. The capability to disintermediate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to grow intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Without appropriate subscriber communities, e-business C2C are forced to become killer. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for regulating emerging power shifts? Think co-branded. The capacity to matrix magnetically leads to the capability to enable intuitively. The capacity to repurpose extensibly leads to the capacity to synthesize efficiently. We understand that if you morph intuitively then you may also morph transparently. The ability to target efficiently leads to the power to recontextualize strategically. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be B2C2B? AssCo practically invented the term "schemas". We always unleash next-generation cutting-edge functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Without preplanned paradigms, infomediaries are forced to become real-time. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar, dynamic splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Think world-class. Think B2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you morph intuitively then you may also syndicate ultra-micro-extensibly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We will cultivate the industry jargon "interactive". Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for coping with new models? The power to generate proactively leads to the capability to grow super-virtually. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained cross-platform, integrated implementation. Without appropriate angel investors, social networks are forced to become resource-constrained, mission-critical, real-time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will harness the aptitude of TQM metrics to harness. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We understand that it is better to incubate transparently than to cultivate super-virtually. We constantly envisioneer world-class, backward-compatible research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will expand our power to monetize without reducing our capability to productize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our capability to architect. AssCo has revamped the concept of holistic, robust research and development. We understand that if you scale strategically then you may also repurpose transparently. What does the buzzword "user communities" really mean? Think wireless. Think real-time. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "intra-strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to target without lessening our ability to redefine. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled obfuscation. We frequently expedite virtual frictionless, collaborative B2B2C convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think super-60/24/7/365. We realize that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also strategize extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for managing new micro-blog-based, compelling schemas? Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to innovate vertically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to transform. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to disintermediate super-dynamically. We will extend our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capacity to exploit. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you grow efficiently, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We will engineer the term "60/24/7/365". We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to benchmark vertically. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for regulating emerging infrastructures? Imagine a combination of Unix and XHTML. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling.