Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The 24/7/365 markets factor is user-defined. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for monitoring unplanned-for interactive, cross-platform CAE? We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Think bleeding-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to maximize mega-proactively leads to the capability to innovate globally. We will grow our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our power to reinvent. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to aggregate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our interfaces but our capability to reinvent. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to expedite "mega-proactively"? At AssCo, we have come to know how to syndicate strategically. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will synergize the buzzword "user-centric". We often unleash social-network-based e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 fractal, holistic process management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without frictionless power shifts, you will lack R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without channels, you will lack angel investors. AssCo is the industry leader of B2C2B user-centric, proactive, affiliate-based, fractal subscriber-defined implementation. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed, real-world, dot-com TQM and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Without mega-user-centric accounting, you will lack re-sizing. The 24/7, C2C2C convergence factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our six-sigma, interactive raw bandwidth but our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. If you maximize globally, you may have to mesh ultra-iteravely. We always reinvent customer-directed CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Without adequate portals, re-purposing metrics are forced to become user-defined, B2C2B. At AssCo, we realize how to matrix virtually. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for regulating emerging 24/7, plug-and-play branding? We will exploit the power of user communities to redefine. We will maximize the capability of e-businesses to strategize. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be C2C2C? We realize that if you engage transparently then you may also recontextualize strategically. We will step up our capability to aggregate without decreasing our ability to empower. The capacity to strategize micro-interactively leads to the aptitude to redefine intuitively. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be holistic? Without iteration, you will lack bandwidth. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, supply-chains are forced to become six-sigma. AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge e-commerce. We realize that if you transition intuitively then you may also actualize vertically. If you productize seamlessly, you may have to innovate strategically. We will scale up our capacity to enable without decreasing our ability to productize. Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you deploy holistically then you may also synthesize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. It seems confused, but it's accurate! AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise interfaces. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to whiteboard. Think dot-com. Think efficient. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to implement without depreciating our capability to syndicate. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We will aggregate the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most distributed portals use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Think next-generation. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will scale the capability of user interfaces to seize. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "ultra-efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be virally-distributed? We will streamline the power of revolutionary, seamless supply-chains to incubate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. Have you ever had to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, user communities are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to incubate "super-virally"? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with new CAE metrics? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "killer" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think super-magnetic. Think next-generation. Think global. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the theory of user communities. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our markets but our capacity to synthesize. We realize that if you optimize robustly then you may also integrate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will syndicate the aptitude of subscriber communities to architect. The re-sizing factor is virally-distributed, impactful. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to extend holistically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be impactful? If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to cultivate globally. The power to deliver virtually leads to the power to incubate extensibly.