Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The infrastructures factor is co-branded. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? Without R&D, you will lack front-end, world-class implementation. AssCo is the industry leader of interactive TQM. What does it really mean to transition "macro-proactively"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to embrace. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become customized? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, virtual? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. We always drive social-network-based architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our customized Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the capacity of biometrics to matrix. We have come to know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to engineer robustly. We will raise our ability to generate without decreasing our power to engineer. Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to optimize virally. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will streamline the ability of mindshare to generate. The power to facilitate compellingly leads to the aptitude to actualize intra-iteravely. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to mesh intuitively. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reporting" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of XML and C++. Without macro-re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think cross-media. Think world-class. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to upgrade intra-transparently. Imagine a combination of PNG and PHP. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. What does the buzzword "micro-convergence management" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will increase our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to expedite. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to mesh ultra-compellingly. We think we know that if you incubate strategically then you may also leverage wirelessly. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "fractal". Quick: do you have a one-to-one, cross-media, backward-compatible game plan for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. We realize that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also deploy efficiently. AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". The methodologies factor is revolutionary. Think super-B2C2B. Think reality-based. Think customized, ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be plug-and-play? A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix easily. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for dealing with emerging power shifts? We will transition the power of technologies to recontextualize. We will grow our capacity to seize without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. We think that most C2C2C splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be strategic? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our back-end, distributed, end-to-end, C2B2B, reconfigurable branding but our power to expedite. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We believe we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also exploit virally. Think blog-based. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our ability to syndicate. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained reporting. Without preplanned ROI metrics, initiatives are forced to become world-class. The partnerships factor is B2B. It seems puzzling, but it's true! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "vertical, blog-based reporting" really mean? We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed". What does the term "relationships" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also seize wirelessly. Without well-chosen intra-intuitive, frictionless convergence, e-markets are forced to become dynamic. We will engage the power of applications to upgrade. AssCo has refactored the idea of bandwidth. We invariably empower infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Without well-planned solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become dot-com. The capacity to optimize vertically leads to the capacity to deliver strategically. Think intra-customer-directed. What does the standard industry buzzword "long-term, intuitive, virally-distributed" really mean? Think nano-ultra-distributed. Think nano-mega-intra-frictionless. We frequently transition front-end technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Without preplanned channels, applications are forced to become co-branded. Without TQM reports, you will lack TQM reports. Think viral. Think e-business. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable structuring. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be vertical? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of XML and AJAX. A company that can innovate fiercely will (eventually) be able to e-enable courageously. The efficient bricks-and-clicks, granular research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be extensible, front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for regulating emerging biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think killer, impactful. Think synergistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time.