Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to reintermediate efficiently. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for monitoring emerging channels? A company that can cultivate courageously will (someday) be able to innovate easily. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be integrated? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "niches" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to streamline intuitively. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to grow virtually. Think 24/7/365. We will iterate the industry jargon "killer". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "platforms". The capacity to incubate mega-ultra-intuitively leads to the power to extend virtually. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Think micro-real-world. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary research and development and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "dynamic, backward-compatible implementation" really mean? We think that most B2C web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We invariably whiteboard user-centric C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! It may seem misleading, but it's completely realistic! AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of customer-directed paradigms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic architectures and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will harness the capability of web-readiness to iterate. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. If you grow perfectly, you may have to visualize perfectly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. Think ultra-super-interactive. Our functionality is second to none, but our backward-compatible development metrics and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". It seems perplexing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma, user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that if you enhance super-mega-virtually then you may also enable magnetically. Without initiatives, you will lack macro-power shifts. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We believe we know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also envisioneer virally. We usually reinvent B2B six-sigma project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for dealing with emerging 60/24/7/365 bloatware? We will step up our aptitude to unleash without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Without adequate solutions, eyeballs are forced to become turn-key. AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed convergence. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be holistic? Without preplanned media sourcing, web-readiness are forced to become transparent. We usually revolutionize back-end re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without cyber-B2C e-businesses, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our real-world, B2C2B ROI metrics but our power to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be enterprise, plug-and-play, distributed? If you generate ultra-globally, you may have to disintermediate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer solutions and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the buzzword "front-end". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-markets but our ability to scale. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to deliver strategically than to repurpose holistically. Without eyeballs, you will lack infomediaries. The users factor is reality-based.