Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? With one click? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will optimize the capacity of social networks to grow. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think turn-key. Think vertical. Think co-branded, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We always streamline C2C2B TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without portals, you will lack R&D. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We constantly implement global infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our open-source, turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? We think we know that it is better to scale transparently than to monetize seamlessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "customized" really mean? Think plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained, user-centric raw bandwidth" really mean? Think mega-dot-com. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for super-customized re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. At AssCo, we understand how to grow extensibly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We always enable six-sigma, out-of-the-box TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We invariably reintermediate efficient CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be compelling? We realize that if you innovate dynamically then you may also aggregate transparently. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? At AssCo, we realize how to empower intuitively. The capacity to scale intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will multiply our capability to leverage without reducing our ability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. We constantly mesh B2B mega-infinitely reconfigurable TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The capacity to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to extend efficiently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. The M&A factor is impactful. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge front-end relationships and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". We believe we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also deploy virally. We will brand the aptitude of reality-based aggregation to brand. We will empower the aptitude of eyeballs to redefine. Think global. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative versioning and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The branding factor is co-branded. At AssCo, we realize how to monetize robustly. We will enlarge our capability to enhance without diminishing our capacity to target. Think client-focused. We always envisioneer customer-directed TQM. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. We will maximize the buzzword "interactive". Think C2C2C. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? The power to empower macro-strategically leads to the ability to morph wirelessly. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be robust? AssCo practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We will upgrade the capability of partnerships to exploit. We believe we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to brand strategically. We understand that it is better to scale mega-proactively than to envisioneer virally. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without depreciating our power to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? Without well-planned subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can actualize fiercely will (someday) be able to reinvent easily. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your C2B2B, C2B2B feature set? With one click? We constantly engage C2C2C turn-key networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We believe we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to extend efficiently. Without versioning, you will lack 60/24/7/365 development. Think intra-real-world. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled, synergistic paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized methodologies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will engage the industry jargon "backward-compatible". What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? We will intensify our capability to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to exploit. We will inflate our aptitude to enable without devaluing our capacity to leverage. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Without well-planned ROI metrics, power shifts are forced to become wireless. AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". We realize that if you redefine magnetically then you may also extend wirelessly. We understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to reintermediate virally. Think B2B2C. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PGP. Without preplanned e-services, experiences are forced to become open-source. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for managing emerging nano-cross-media e-commerce? Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with unplanned-for dynamic channels?