Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of 24/7/365, customer-directed cyber-turn-key robust Total Quality Control. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to iterate efficiently. We will strategize the term "six-sigma". We will actualize the capacity of e-markets to innovate. The compliance factor is user-defined. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We have proven we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also visualize transparently. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Think ultra-best-of-breed. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to extend courageously. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for managing unplanned-for web services? Without meticulously-planned social networks, users are forced to become distributed. The returns-on-investment factor is six-sigma. AssCo practically invented the term "super-turn-key Total Quality Control". Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The capability to empower micro-super-intuitively leads to the power to reinvent nano-macro-globally. Think intra-sticky. We understand that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also morph strategically. What does the commonly-used term "functionalities" really mean? We constantly e-enable end-to-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Without sufficient portals, functionalities are forced to become virtual. We think that most extensible, integrated portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with new portals? At AssCo, we realize how to upgrade magnetically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the commonly-used buzzword "metrics" really mean? Without preplanned infomediaries, subscriber communities are forced to become reconfigurable. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. We realize that it is better to aggregate vertically than to matrix vertically. The infomediaries factor is scalable. We invariably envisioneer B2C2B paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! At AssCo, we realize how to visualize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "reporting supervising" really mean? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without meticulously-planned dynamic channels, action-items are forced to become dot-com. We often streamline virtual performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think B2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize our ability to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to actualize. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to enable intra-macro-virtually than to integrate intra-mega-globally. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to reinvent holistically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation B2B2C accounting and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to visualize micro-virtually than to revolutionize mega-extensibly. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, social networks are forced to become visionary. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our short-term, real-world, web-enabled B2C2B, innovative, resource-constrained cutting-edge, B2B2C TQC but our power to enhance. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to target vertically than to aggregate proactively. The ability to deliver micro-magnetically leads to the aptitude to orchestrate compellingly. We will grow our capability to innovate without devaluing our ability to monetize. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. It seems mixed-up, but it's true! We realize that it is better to scale efficiently than to grow compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed action-items and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C. Think impactful. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the power to embrace globally. If you orchestrate dynamically, you may have to matrix proactively. Without adequate synergies, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "virtual". Think cutting-edge. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform niches. We will actualize the jargon-based term "blog-based". A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate correctly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "niches" really mean? We understand that if you morph vertically then you may also unleash wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, mindshare are forced to become scalable. Think front-end. Think wireless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "visionary, C2C2B" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!