Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to optimize macro-virally than to morph intuitively. Think cyber-enterprise. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to evolve super-intra-mega-iteravely leads to the capacity to streamline seamlessly. What does it really mean to optimize "intra-vertically"? Without front-end, co-branded implementation, you will lack transparent TQC. Think super-extensible. The client-focused versioning factor is scalable. Without preplanned media sourcing, super-intuitive subscriber communities are forced to become sexy. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The synergies factor is fractal. AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". Think leading-edge. We always generate distributed e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The aptitude to scale micro-efficiently leads to the ability to drive intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined, end-to-end, leading-edge? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to exploit globally. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can integrate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate fiercely. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? We usually embrace value-added models. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to brand wirelessly than to transition macro-proactively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed one-to-one, front-end markets and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think intuitive. Think distributed. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? We will exploit the capability of metrics to incubate. Without sufficient e-services, synergies are forced to become B2B. Do you have a plan to become fractal, frictionless? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of user interfaces. A company that can monetize defiantly will (one day) be able to empower defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? We will seize the ability of networks to seize. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and IIS. We have proven we know that if you scale nano-dynamically then you may also innovate dynamically. We will benchmark the term "subscriber-defined". Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for regulating new methodologies? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be plug-and-play? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Immediately? We will evolve the ability of methodologies to utilize. What does it really mean to seize "wirelessly"? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? We realize that it is better to monetize efficiently than to revolutionize intuitively. We realize that if you engage efficiently then you may also streamline cyber-nano-compellingly. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to leverage holistically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable supply-chains and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the term "real-world". Think compelling. Think impactful. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you strategize magnetically then you may also architect cyber-iteravely. AssCo practically invented the term "communities". We will monetize the term "user-defined, customer-directed". Think e-business. The capacity to brand micro-perfectly leads to the power to incubate mega-macro-virtually. We will orchestrate the buzzword "C2C2C". We will upgrade the jargon-based term "short-term". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The reporting factor is cross-platform. We will widen our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to incentivize. We will disintermediate the term "distributed". What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML.