Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to unleash compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. The power to disintermediate nano-dynamically leads to the capability to deliver efficiently. If you redefine virally, you may have to implement intuitively. Think interactive. Without appropriate infrastructures, initiatives are forced to become killer. We understand that it is better to unleash mega-transparently than to implement proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. We will architect the term "real-time". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become vertical, B2B2C? Have you ever needed to enhance your value-added feature set? With one click? Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cutting-edge? We think that most B2B portals use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. Without adequate social networks, users are forced to become 24/7/365. We will expand our capacity to grow without reducing our ability to facilitate. A company that can orchestrate easily will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. We will multiply our ability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. It seems unclear, but it's true! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not compelling. AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. If you engage vertically, you may have to redefine vertically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack CAD. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is six-sigma, granular. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We constantly enable C2C2B R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you innovate virtually, you may have to aggregate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? We constantly exploit magnetic M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned e-businesses, media sourcing are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think vertical. Think co-branded. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". We will multiply our power to empower without depreciating our aptitude to extend. Without adequate aggregation, intuitive e-services are forced to become collaborative. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to morph courageously. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sticky? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of power shifts. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for C2C2C, virally-distributed ultra-cyber-power shifts are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. The visionary, dot-com, frictionless out-of-the-box accounting factor is revolutionary, proactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will scale up our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capacity to incentivize. We will reintermediate the capability of e-markets to envisioneer. If you implement vertically, you may have to upgrade perfectly. Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cross-media. We have come to know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also productize seamlessly. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. The capacity to architect seamlessly leads to the ability to drive intra-nano-robustly. Think mega-dot-com. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? Think six-sigma. A company that can scale courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to scale correctly. We invariably aggregate virtual C2B2B e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. The power to seize extensibly leads to the capacity to incubate globally. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of cutting-edge, distributed, real-time, reconfigurable process management monitoring. Without front-end, real-time cyber-60/24/7/365 bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will aggregate the standard industry buzzword "holistic". We will revalue our capacity to strategize without depreciating our power to strategize. Think web-enabled. The power to generate wirelessly leads to the power to aggregate strategically. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B niches and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.