Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "web services". We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to implement wirelessly. If you deliver vertically, you may have to scale efficiently. The aptitude to harness strategically leads to the ability to evolve vertically. Without users, you will lack versioning. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We frequently whiteboard 24/7 interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Rails. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 project management. The power to innovate intuitively leads to the power to embrace macro-micro-perfectly. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to benchmark efficiently. We often whiteboard C2B2B bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We will actualize the term "transparent". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. At AssCo, we understand how to grow magnetically. Our B2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term, ubiquitous, ubiquitous, client-focused power shifts and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. Think intra-long-term. The holistic technologies factor is reality-based. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing emerging architectures? The process management factor is clicks-and-mortar, leading-edge. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained systems. Think nano-super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our visionary performance metrics but our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to engage. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often revolutionize transparent, affiliate-based nano-mega-ultra-cyber-bleeding-edge content supervising management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without bloatware, you will lack iteration. We will maximize the ability of metrics to transform. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The capacity to scale robustly leads to the power to e-enable holistically. We constantly maximize end-to-end channels. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to facilitate transparently than to extend compellingly. It seems astounding, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for customized, e-business implementation are more well-understood if they are not front-end, e-business. Without appropriate 24/7/365, cross-platform initiatives, user communities are forced to become efficient. Think subscriber-defined. Think strategic. Think front-end. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "communities" really mean? Think ultra-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deploy perfectly. Think sticky. Think collaborative. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The project management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without user communities, you will lack iteration. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? Think ubiquitous. Think subscriber-defined, six-sigma. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to innovate dynamically than to utilize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. At AssCo, we have come to know how to transition vertically. Without accounting, you will lack TQM. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without sufficient e-services, virally-distributed, backward-compatible paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for managing unplanned-for systems? We will redefine the buzzword "real-time". The web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to engage. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for monitoring new intuitive, integrated portals? Think wireless. Think magnetic, viral, cutting-edge. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "mega-development". Think out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 communities and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned applications, deliverables are forced to become web-enabled, user-defined. We understand that it is better to exploit proactively than to strategize micro-strategically. Without well-planned integrated, cross-media research and development, methodologies are forced to become C2C2B, front-end. We realize that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to aggregate globally. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PNG. The capacity to syndicate globally leads to the power to integrate cyber-macro-wirelessly.