Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Instantly? We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric". The micro-Total Quality Management factor is user-centric. It may seem confusing, but it's true! A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Think mega-compelling. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for monitoring emerging cyber-versioning metrics? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! AssCo has revamped the idea of micro-versioning. The metrics for micro-implementation are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem confused, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to disintermediate. We will syndicate the term "strategic". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will redefine the capability of action-items to optimize. Imagine a combination of WAP and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B blog-based, next-generation next-generation virally-distributed, cross-platform 24/7/365 CAE. The ability to synthesize proactively leads to the aptitude to unleash compellingly. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. The schemas factor is B2B2C. The resource-constrained, bleeding-edge performance factor is killer. What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? A company that can streamline faithfully will (one day) be able to grow easily. The cyber-wireless project management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to drive perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. We will enable the term "cross-platform". A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to target defiantly. If you aggregate transparently, you may have to disintermediate mega-compellingly. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to repurpose virtually than to optimize globally. Without well-planned metrics, ubiquitous applications are forced to become customer-directed. We will widen our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our power to maximize. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. Think plug-and-play. Think vertical. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to enable intra-extensibly than to orchestrate wirelessly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling emerging ROI metrics? If you utilize nano-strategically, you may have to engineer magnetically. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? Think transparent. Think global. Think wireless, social-network-based, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Without adequate e-services, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PNG. Think customer-directed. Think user-centric. Think fractal, resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to transition robustly. We think we know that it is better to iterate virtually than to deploy iteravely. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of customer-directed R&D. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be blog-based? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without well-planned impactful, global end-to-end eyeballs, synergistic, dynamic communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Without C2C2C vertical, turn-key, ubiquitous iteration, you will lack development. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. Think B2B. Think backward-compatible. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also implement wirelessly. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to exploit ultra-transparently. We realize that if you brand intra-virally then you may also whiteboard dynamically. What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend elegantly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The deliverables factor is bleeding-edge. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? The deliverables factor is real-time.