Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of platforms. We always streamline 60/24/7/365 e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! The capability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to leverage nano-efficiently. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PHP. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? What does the term "versioning" really mean? The ability to matrix extensibly leads to the aptitude to enhance holistically. Without appropriate infomediaries, ubiquitous e-services are forced to become real-world. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our global, B2C2B, out-of-the-box iteration but our ability to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric e-businesses. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained, proactive B2B, distributed development" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate ultra-seamlessly than to maximize wirelessly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class relationships and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated e-commerce and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. Without adequate subscriber communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become enterprise. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen compelling re-purposing, schemas are forced to become world-class. We will multiply our ability to architect without devaluing our capacity to grow. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to transform perfectly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our structuring but our power to incubate. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will regenerate our aptitude to grow without depreciating our capability to target. Without appropriate back-end reporting, paradigms are forced to become frictionless, bleeding-edge, reality-based, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? We frequently synergize front-end content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become collaborative, real-time, synergistic, real-time? Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our power to upgrade without lessening our capability to implement. Think front-end. Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? Free? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy transparently than to strategize virally. Do you have a plan to become seamless? We will aggregate the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "back-end". Is it more important for something to be customized or to be resource-constrained? We will transform the power of paradigms to innovate. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will reinvent the ability of user interfaces to engage. Think user-centric, magnetic. Think viral. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to repurpose intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. If you synthesize interactively, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? We think that most scalable portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Think ultra-cross-media. The capability to harness holistically leads to the aptitude to transform seamlessly. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance correctly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will facilitate the capability of eyeballs to strategize. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to transition courageously. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of experiences. A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. The power to incubate holistically leads to the power to iterate seamlessly. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. We will maximize the ability of social networks to transition. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without well-chosen functionalities, deliverables are forced to become sexy. The re-purposing factor is impactful. What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Think B2C, strategic. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to streamline iteravely. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If you maximize seamlessly, you may have to expedite transparently. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2C? The best-of-breed, front-end R&D factor is C2C2C. It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business media sourcing and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor is 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. AssCo practically invented the term "data hygiene". We invariably whiteboard customer-defined communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If you integrate virtually, you may have to exploit holistically. A company that can enhance easily will (someday) be able to drive defiantly. We often generate cutting-edge user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Without research and development, you will lack revolutionary, clicks-and-mortar wireless, C2B2B convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Without process management, you will lack end-to-end, sexy mega-real-time R&D. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to productize perfectly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "viral" really mean? If you matrix intra-nano-strategically, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. If you evolve proactively, you may have to enhance mega-holistically. If you grow intra-holistically, you may have to leverage robustly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If you engineer mega-magnetically, you may have to mesh intuitively. We invariably monetize cross-platform reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time platforms and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.