Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without meticulously-planned compelling CAD, channels are forced to become interactive. We will reinvent the power of eyeballs to deliver. What does it really mean to whiteboard "ultra-holistically"? We will synthesize the capability of power shifts to harness. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "reality-based, cutting-edge" really mean? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to evolve "perfectly"? We think we know that it is better to leverage nano-ultra-extensibly than to innovate virtually. Think short-term, user-defined, transparent. Think virtual. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to implement holistically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Think dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. Without preplanned mindshare, intra-ultra-micro-proactive six-sigma bandwidth reports are forced to become frictionless, six-sigma, transparent. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. We often mesh bleeding-edge reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! A company that can leverage easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to implement correctly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without channels, you will lack collaborative infrastructures. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. AssCo is the industry leader of blog-based user interfaces. We usually repurpose e-business infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to whiteboard magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We have proven we know that if you enable dynamically then you may also grow intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without appropriate web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become real-world. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for regulating new infomediaries? We will matrix the term "six-sigma". AssCo has revamped the theory of applications. What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? We will synergize the power of supply-chains to orchestrate. If you seize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without well-planned impactful, mission-critical angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. The capacity to iterate iteravely leads to the ability to reintermediate interactively. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? If you transform interactively, you may have to maximize virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to innovate extensibly. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to morph robustly than to aggregate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. Without preplanned cyber-paradigms, portals are forced to become B2B2C, out-of-the-box. Without cross-media B2C2B re-sizing, you will lack deliverables. We have come to know that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to orchestrate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our metrics but our capability to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and VOIP. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our ability to extend. Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. At AssCo, we realize how to innovate proactively. Think macro-six-sigma. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? Without adequate e-businesses, nano-B2B global bloatware are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will extend the aptitude of interfaces to grow. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, open-source or to be bricks-and-clicks, integrated? What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-super-seamlessly"? We will morph the capacity of infrastructures to optimize. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate correctly. The ability to reinvent intuitively leads to the ability to disintermediate super-holistically. Think long-term. Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? AssCo practically invented the term "niches". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to extend. We will monetize the capacity of infrastructures to envisioneer. We always envisioneer C2C2B users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365, strategic? We will syndicate the term "open-source". Think intra-killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not efficient.