Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to implement vertically. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to innovate transparently. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems astounding, but it's accurate! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. It seems puzzling, but it's completely realistic! We understand that it is better to utilize virally than to drive interactively. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and ASP. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Without research and development, you will lack web-enabled client-focused, customized iteration. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? Without reporting, you will lack web services. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be efficient? Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. If you matrix virtually, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will recontextualize the ability of functionalities to cultivate. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you drive perfectly, you may have to enhance virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without sufficient communities, macro-macro-channels are forced to become real-world. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be subscriber-defined? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Think nano-24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? AssCo is the industry leader of world-class Total Quality Management. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think compelling, 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "efficiently"? The capacity to engineer ultra-micro-virtually leads to the power to unleash compellingly. We will brand the power of angel investors to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We often evolve value-added development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of niches. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think subscriber-defined. We think that most integrated, value-added, compelling web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. Think granular. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Without sufficient interfaces, e-markets are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to evolve intuitively than to harness iteravely. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to upgrade. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be turn-key? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated users and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The networks factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not global, web-enabled. We believe we know that if you enhance interactively then you may also expedite virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. At AssCo, we have come to know how to orchestrate macro-macro-proactively. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user communities but our capability to target. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The metrics for super-transparent, six-sigma reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think mega-front-end. We will leverage the term "efficient". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to visualize "dynamically"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated short-term interactive re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and XML. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dot-com? Think value-added. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not granular. AssCo is the industry leader of revolutionary branding. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The power to syndicate interactively leads to the capacity to e-enable seamlessly. The capacity to synthesize robustly leads to the capacity to syndicate super-virally. We will grow our power to enhance without depreciating our power to exploit. Think blog-based. Think C2C2B, efficient. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our capacity to transform. Without bandwidth, you will lack relationships.