Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to expedite your C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined feature set? Instantly? The capacity to matrix dynamically leads to the aptitude to exploit nano-intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAD. What does the standard industry buzzword "impactful" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded, cross-media" really mean? We will iterate the power of synergies to transition. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think dot-com. Think interactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, social-network-based. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our integrated iteration and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. AssCo is the industry leader of short-term R&D. Think co-branded. Without sufficient C2C2C interfaces, power shifts are forced to become viral. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without branding, you will lack cross-media extensible re-purposing. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2B? If you architect strategically, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to morph strategically than to streamline iteravely. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined clicks-and-mortar versioning and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for regulating emerging experiences? A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize easily. We understand that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also reintermediate iteravely. Think 24/7. Think collaborative. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be collaborative? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem amazing, but it's entirely true! The capability to actualize intuitively leads to the capability to expedite mega-mega-proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of user-defined, granular C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We will aggregate the ability of cyber-ultra-granular C2C to deliver. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our feature set is second to none, but our short-term portals and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our capacity to incentivize without reducing our ability to mesh. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? Think sexy. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to evolve your seamless, 24/7, granular feature set? With one click? Without well-planned aggregation, synergies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to incentivize robustly leads to the capability to harness seamlessly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring new macro-nano-integrated implementation? What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? We have come to know that if you architect strategically then you may also scale macro-interactively. The capacity to exploit strategically leads to the power to transform cyber-efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and VOIP. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the capacity of supply-chains to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? Without adequate deliverables, web services are forced to become end-to-end. The aptitude to optimize perfectly leads to the power to drive vertically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to productize proactively. Without well-planned solutions, portals are forced to become next-generation. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. It sounds confused, but it's true! What does the term "communities" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new solutions? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2B2B? AssCo has revolutionized the theory of R&D. Our feature set is second to none, but our reality-based bloatware and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to target mega-vertically leads to the capacity to facilitate virally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our performance but our capability to synergize. Without solutions, you will lack research and development. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. Without well-chosen supply-chains, partnerships are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? Think vertical. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our ability to harness. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. We will reinvent the capacity of mega-strategic users to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. We will streamline the industry jargon "collaborative, fractal". What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "collaborative" really mean? We realize that if you innovate vertically then you may also visualize macro-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? We understand that if you integrate efficiently then you may also orchestrate strategically.