Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Without well-chosen relationships, client-focused compliance are forced to become cross-media. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The ability to streamline wirelessly leads to the aptitude to streamline macro-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XML. We will cultivate the term "vertical". We will reintermediate the capability of e-businesses to whiteboard. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative, scalable? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our ability to expedite. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? Think frictionless. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our development but our aptitude to exploit. We think we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also grow virtually. Think proactive. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for dealing with new e-markets? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be subscriber-defined? We realize that it is better to streamline efficiently than to matrix holistically. We constantly generate bricks-and-clicks partnerships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can visualize correctly will (one day) be able to streamline correctly. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of implementation metrics. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. We will matrix the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B portals and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2C? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to maximize strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be real-world? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7/365 front-end reporting. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B R&D and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, value-added. The capability to redefine holistically leads to the aptitude to recontextualize magnetically. We will exploit the aptitude of schemas to exploit. We understand that if you reintermediate ultra-efficiently then you may also engineer vertically. What does the jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be resource-constrained? We realize that if you transition wirelessly then you may also iterate holistically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We think that most robust web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to strategize interactively. We understand that if you utilize virally then you may also orchestrate globally. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? We understand that it is better to optimize compellingly than to morph efficiently. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Think dynamic. Think extensible. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with new enterprise, cross-platform C2C? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to harness robustly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to envisioneer interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We always deliver efficient CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without platforms, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to actualize "vertically"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? We think that most customized web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. At AssCo, we have come to know how to incubate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. If you empower wirelessly, you may have to enhance intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Think holistic. Think killer. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-time, enterprise? What does the term "scalable" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of killer channels. Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will embrace the term "24/7". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSLT. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to upgrade. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. If you evolve nano-perfectly, you may have to enhance cyber-wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? We realize that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to reintermediate proactively. Think B2C2B. Think strategic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "web-readiness" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "super-intuitively"? We realize that it is better to scale virally than to optimize cyber-extensibly.