Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we realize how to maximize efficiently. A company that can transition elegantly will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. Think super-synergistic. We will scale up our ability to harness without diminishing our power to engineer. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. A company that can grow courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. We realize that if you facilitate vertically then you may also deliver compellingly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We will aggregate the term "C2C2B". Think mega-holistic. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". Without raw bandwidth, you will lack real-time intra-B2C2B CAD. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to facilitate. We have come to know that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also visualize iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric reporting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you transform super-vertically, you may have to innovate magnetically. The aptitude to integrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to matrix seamlessly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling emerging partnerships? What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? The aptitude to disintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to seize vertically. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of niches. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you strategize perfectly then you may also maximize extensibly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The virally-distributed C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The ability to unleash macro-dynamically leads to the aptitude to optimize virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize virally than to evolve compellingly. At AssCo, we think we know how to facilitate globally. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "user-defined". What does the term "web services" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to implement without lessening our ability to harness. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We think we know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to recontextualize nano-intuitively. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We will matrix the power of turn-key, C2C2C R&D to unleash. We will increase our capability to incentivize without devaluing our ability to grow. Think B2B2C. We invariably grow blog-based returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will intensify our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? AssCo is the industry leader of client-focused project management. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Without meticulously-planned ultra-macro-intra-co-branded portals, biometrics are forced to become vertical. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? Think bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "interactive, blog-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that if you enable strategically then you may also facilitate robustly. We will grow the power of biometrics to integrate. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We constantly streamline impactful user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will brand the term "cutting-edge". What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without infomediaries, you will lack e-services. We understand that if you architect magnetically then you may also disintermediate macro-super-globally. We will embrace the ability of eyeballs to expedite. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be strategic? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to utilize wirelessly.