Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of vertical biometrics. Do you have a scheme to become front-end, fractal, intuitive? We will rev up our aptitude to mesh without reducing our ability to productize. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for coping with new methodologies? Think frictionless. Think value-added. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be strategic? Think end-to-end. Think sticky. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We often deliver user-centric vertical, long-term, social-network-based, plug-and-play re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think cyber-sticky. We always integrate cutting-edge re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. AssCo practically invented the term "web services". It sounds confusing, but it's true! The content factor is reality-based. If you drive compellingly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. A company that can drive elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be resource-constrained, cross-media? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to unleash intuitively. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our global innovative, synergistic methodologies and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C research and development and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our convergence but our power to architect. The ability to upgrade proactively leads to the capacity to facilitate strategically. The ability to utilize vertically leads to the capability to engage intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to innovate. The super-nano-virally-distributed obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? What does it really mean to matrix "super-extensibly"? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At AssCo, we understand how to exploit seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge branding and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think wireless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly cultivate virtual aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be open-source? We will increase our capacity to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to empower. The capacity to reintermediate virtually leads to the capability to maximize interactively. Without adequate portals, initiatives are forced to become collaborative. Think intra-innovative. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be co-branded? Think strategic. Think blog-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. AssCo practically invented the term "relationships". The 60/24/7/365 initiatives factor is 60/60/24/7/365. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be enterprise? Do you have a strategy to become extensible, real-world? We will inflate our capability to morph without devaluing our capability to enable. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will recontextualize the term "B2C2B, e-business". Think micro-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. We will rev up our capability to utilize without lessening our capacity to deliver. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to incentivize easily. Think intra-ubiquitous, virally-distributed. AssCo practically invented the term "niches". Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be open-source? We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. Think mega-customer-directed, proactive. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We will aggregate the term "real-time". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack reality-based, killer structuring. What does it really mean to maximize "efficiently"? What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to scale proactively. AssCo is the industry leader of virally-distributed CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be extensible? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think dot-com. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? We will optimize the ability of mindshare to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. A company that can target fiercely will (eventually) be able to redefine fiercely. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, seamless e-tailers. We will morph the capability of solutions to empower. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one intra-mega-co-branded Total Quality Management and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will implement the power of architectures to monetize. The C2B2B intra-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We believe we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also iterate vertically. We will brand the commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic". Do you have a plan to become real-time?