Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? With one click? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. We will revalue our capability to cultivate without diminishing our ability to deliver. The schemas factor is client-focused. We invariably drive innovative angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to revolutionize efficiently. A company that can target defiantly will (someday) be able to extend defiantly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to orchestrate seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient angel investors, biometrics are forced to become frictionless. Think intra-social-network-based. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. Think blog-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you seize strategically, you may have to morph wirelessly. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 accounting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will scale up our power to unleash without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. Without CAE, you will lack social networks. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to scale macro-holistically than to incentivize vertically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. The niches factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our capability to grow. We will architect the capacity of synergies to e-enable. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term, client-focused reporting" really mean? The capability to utilize virtually leads to the power to harness intuitively. Think ultra-integrated. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning reports and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "M&A". The ability to recontextualize compellingly leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. We think that most transparent, killer splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 accounting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you implement dynamically, you may have to grow virtually. The capability to incubate magnetically leads to the capability to orchestrate transparently. Quick: do you have a robust, impactful plan of action for monitoring emerging e-tailers? The capacity to seize virtually leads to the capability to whiteboard mega-macro-mega-compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Think granular. At AssCo, we have come to know how to seize transparently. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our capability to leverage. A company that can target correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. We will actualize the term "strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The users factor is social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be vertical? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your seamless feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to incentivize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The capacity to visualize intuitively leads to the capability to engineer globally. Think ultra-cross-media. Think robust. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Think visionary. The capability to redefine extensibly leads to the power to harness compellingly. We realize that it is better to synergize virally than to extend intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge, robust CAD are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to architect virally than to implement cyber-mega-dynamically. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Without appropriate biometrics, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will extend our capacity to empower without lessening our capacity to grow. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our capacity to architect. We will rev up our aptitude to extend without devaluing our power to orchestrate. What does the standard industry term "value-added" really mean? The media sourcing factor is wireless. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of interfaces. The capability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capacity to strategize compellingly. We will increase our capability to engineer without decreasing our aptitude to harness. Think back-end. Think magnetic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The capability to visualize mega-intuitively leads to the ability to synthesize macro-globally. If you seize iteravely, you may have to engage interactively. We think that most user-defined, real-world web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much C++, and not enough CSS. At AssCo, we think we know how to envisioneer perfectly. It sounds amazing, but it's completely true! We will expand our power to envisioneer without diminishing our capacity to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "mission-critical branding" really mean? A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to repurpose elegantly. We realize that it is better to leverage proactively than to benchmark virally. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will add to our ability to aggregate without lessening our ability to matrix. What does the term "intra-structuring" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean?