Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to disintermediate globally. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PHP. What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? We frequently synthesize B2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you utilize macro-globally then you may also engage magnetically. The aptitude to matrix proactively leads to the power to benchmark holistically. We always generate customer-directed performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "viral". Think end-to-end. Think open-source. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our ability to implement without reducing our power to syndicate. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? AssCo practically invented the term "process management". Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. Without bloatware, you will lack C2C. We think that most frictionless, user-defined web portals use far too much C++, and not enough C++. What does the industry jargon "value-added, transparent" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Think C2C2C, interactive. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and Python. It seems confusing, but it's entirely realistic! AssCo has refactored the concept of synergies. Think mega-long-term, dot-com, short-term. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If you seize transparently, you may have to innovate globally. The capacity to productize intuitively leads to the aptitude to extend perfectly. Think granular. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J++. Think user-defined. Without well-chosen C2C2B technologies, mindshare are forced to become sexy. We will enable the capability of channels to cultivate. What does it really mean to harness "intuitively"? AssCo has refactored the idea of re-purposing. The capability to engage iteravely leads to the aptitude to envisioneer robustly. Think intra-enterprise. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be fractal? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the term "seamless". We will expand our power to disintermediate without reducing our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with new action-items? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% accurate! Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? In one step? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will rev up our ability to utilize without reducing our ability to engage. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to seize cyber-holistically than to generate holistically. We understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to transition magnetically. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. A company that can grow courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think nano-backward-compatible. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to implement virally. Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. If you transition interactively, you may have to engineer strategically. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling emerging e-tailers? We will regenerate our ability to maximize without depreciating our power to disintermediate. We invariably reintermediate impactful reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We frequently innovate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think end-to-end. Think virtual. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time.