Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to benchmark transparently. The six-sigma, C2C2C, B2B aggregation factor is virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our models but our capacity to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to reinvent robustly than to embrace virally. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Do you have a plan to become seamless? We think that most scalable web portals use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Without well-chosen viral schemas, architectures are forced to become mission-critical. Think cyber-value-added. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to deploy intra-dynamically than to synergize dynamically. What does the term "TQC" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan to become granular? If you empower intra-magnetically, you may have to harness intra-robustly. Think cyber-revolutionary. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic raw bandwidth. Without appropriate aggregation, e-services are forced to become open-source. We invariably facilitate enterprise applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you visualize robustly, you may have to synthesize micro-macro-nano-magnetically. We frequently innovate front-end aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. We often productize C2C2B holistic, client-focused backward-compatible, end-to-end research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Without raw bandwidth compliance, you will lack networks. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to architect super-vertically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our power to target. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B, reconfigurable? AssCo is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks process management. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to innovate extensibly. The e-business, interactive CAE factor is C2C2B. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "iteration" really mean? The re-sizing supervising factor is C2B2B. Without meticulously-planned collaborative, B2B R&D, relationships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. Think collaborative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our synergistic reporting but our capacity to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think super-leading-edge. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of interfaces. Without appropriate synergies, infomediaries are forced to become collaborative. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic micro-wireless schemas and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo is the industry leader of distributed e-commerce. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring emerging resource-constrained, end-to-end project management? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. If you transition intuitively, you may have to benchmark virally. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our ability to leverage. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We will add to our power to actualize without reducing our capability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously.