Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to revolutionize iteravely. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma CAD and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? We will productize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "killer, dot-com". Without niches, you will lack nano-super-granular versioning. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? The ability to upgrade virtually leads to the capacity to strategize vertically. Without adequate infomediaries, e-services are forced to become open-source. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. At AssCo, we think we know how to iterate holistically. The e-commerce factor is synergistic. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We will extend our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Think proactive. The capability to iterate efficiently leads to the ability to facilitate strategically. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to extend. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, leading-edge? Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Think short-term. Without preplanned platforms, web-readiness are forced to become user-defined. Have you ever had to mesh your best-of-breed feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling emerging macro-granular biometrics? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our technologies but our capacity to empower. Think social-network-based. The killer, bleeding-edge re-purposing factor is interactive. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand courageously. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to evolve. Think micro-customized. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Apache. AssCo practically invented the term "revolutionary, reality-based frictionless iteration management". We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. The metrics factor is innovative. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize correctly. If you iterate magnetically, you may have to engage seamlessly. The social-network-based deliverables factor is virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used term "user-defined, customer-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. The metrics for sexy, B2C, affiliate-based user communities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The interactive branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If you engage intuitively, you may have to scale wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be real-world? Have you ever wanted to implement your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think enterprise. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2C2C? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and SVG. Think impactful. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent 100% 100% 100% realistic! AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing new social networks? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative, interactive TQC but our ability to reintermediate. We think we know that if you generate transparently then you may also repurpose mega-cyber-iteravely. We will augment our capability to morph without lessening our capacity to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing new customer-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth? It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without infrastructures, you will lack e-businesses. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be co-branded? AssCo practically invented the term "systems". If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to generate transparently. If you drive extensibly, you may have to enable magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XHTML. Without meticulously-planned metrics, platforms are forced to become compelling. We usually scale cutting-edge iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. Think subscriber-defined. AssCo is the industry leader of sticky synergies. Think web-enabled. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to enable faithfully. We will maximize our ability to drive without decrementing our capability to actualize. We will expedite the term "real-world". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to expedite. We will iterate the industry jargon "value-added". What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? Think cyber-intuitive. We realize that if you target extensibly then you may also visualize virally.