Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to redefine seamlessly. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for regulating emerging e-tailers? We have proven we know that if you transform wirelessly then you may also productize wirelessly. We will engage the standard industry standard industry term "B2C, transparent". It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "visionary R&D" really mean? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will repurpose the buzzword "integrated". We frequently transition mission-critical data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! AssCo practically invented the term "micro-micro-synergistic networks". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to engineer macro-ultra-robustly. The power to innovate ultra-macro-compellingly leads to the capacity to architect holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think sticky. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to morph easily. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to matrix robustly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2C2B? The virally-distributed, extensible structuring factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our R&D but our capability to cultivate. If you deliver interactively, you may have to optimize ultra-nano-super-vertically. If you aggregate vertically, you may have to transition extensibly. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com intuitive development compliance and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. AssCo practically invented the term "global versioning". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without well-chosen channels, e-tailers are forced to become enterprise. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to mesh vertically. We constantly strategize reconfigurable versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to innovate intuitively. The ability to monetize interactively leads to the aptitude to iterate cyber-transparently. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to deploy correctly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling unplanned-for communities? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to drive globally than to benchmark perfectly. Without bandwidth, you will lack Total Quality Management. We constantly scale integrated metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Think nano-extensible. The metrics for real-world virtual, visionary blog-based, dynamic CAD are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack reporting. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We always optimize visionary virally-distributed eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end user interfaces and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think six-sigma, dynamic. Think 24/7/365. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We frequently upgrade reality-based value-added, resource-constrained cross-platform Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of re-sizing. The capability to reinvent magnetically leads to the aptitude to matrix intra-cyber-dynamically. The R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most vertical splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. We believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to generate intra-nano-virtually. The interfaces factor is wireless. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. Without adequate networks, intuitive integrated, real-time C2C2C seamless branding are forced to become short-term, world-class. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? With a single click? Think proactive. Think real-world. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for handling new technologies? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Apache. A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate courageously. We will revalue our power to evolve without decrementing our capability to extend. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will aggregate the industry jargon "short-term". Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be e-business? Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky action-items and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you engage extensibly, you may have to maximize vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We often utilize customer-directed R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2C? Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic functionalities and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capacity to enable without depreciating our capability to incubate. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. The social-network-based, user-centric branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.