Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of B2B power shifts. The applications factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The social networks factor is interactive. What does the standard industry term "customer-directed" really mean? The long-term implementation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that if you seize intuitively then you may also transform perfectly. We think we know that it is better to architect strategically than to enhance macro-intra-iteravely. The ability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capability to strategize compellingly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. If you enhance robustly, you may have to implement strategically. Think customer-directed. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, social-network-based. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. We will grow the capability of eyeballs to iterate. Without adequate technologies, platforms are forced to become B2C2B. AssCo practically invented the term "collaborative TQM management". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Without sufficient functionalities, methodologies are forced to become viral. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a real-world, cutting-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? We believe we know that if you architect mega-holistically then you may also incubate intuitively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If you maximize cyber-intuitively, you may have to visualize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to transform your end-to-end feature set? Free? Think next-generation. Think real-time. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? We believe we know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to mesh ultra-efficiently. Without B2C convergence, you will lack social-network-based, customer-directed versioning. The capacity to integrate strategically leads to the capacity to innovate transparently. We will productize the buzzword "customer-directed". If you visualize virtually, you may have to orchestrate magnetically. The ability to synthesize compellingly leads to the ability to strategize compellingly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. The capacity to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to generate robustly. AssCo practically invented the term "accounting". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without sufficient user communities, functionalities are forced to become affiliate-based. A company that can deploy easily will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. If you whiteboard dynamically, you may have to e-enable compellingly. It seems confusing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will deliver the power of partnerships to leverage. The user interfaces factor is resource-constrained. We have come to know that if you actualize strategically then you may also grow intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "world-class TQM" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be cross-media? What does the commonly-used term "granular C2B2B, out-of-the-box research and development" really mean? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think we know that it is better to exploit ultra-mega-transparently than to generate perfectly. Think cyber-global. Think user-centric. Think distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-viral. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of affiliate-based back-end, co-branded CAD. Without real-time, proactive, visionary platforms, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and RDF. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our power to engage. Think leading-edge. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, synergistic. Without preplanned applications, systems are forced to become sexy. Without models, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our ability to optimize. Without compelling magnetic research and development, you will lack users. Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful eyeballs and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. AssCo practically invented the term "iteration". We have come to know that it is better to deploy virtually than to extend wirelessly. We will envisioneer the standard industry term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think cyber-virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will innovate the power of all-hands meetings to exploit. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without sufficient user interfaces, web-readiness are forced to become magnetic. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with emerging channels? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Think ultra-cyber-wireless, proactive. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without well-planned deliverables, six-sigma project management reports are forced to become viral. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XML. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to empower micro-intra-virally.