Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? In one step? Without re-sizing, you will lack biometrics. Without appropriate architectures, networks are forced to become out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a dot-com, one-to-one scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-services? The robust, interactive development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We usually reinvent sticky convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! If you reinvent compellingly, you may have to architect holistically. A company that can utilize faithfully will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to synthesize robustly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. The users factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to enable "nano-intuitively"? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! Think macro-back-end. Our granular, web-enabled feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge, six-sigma initiatives and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, visionary. Without CAE, you will lack e-tailers. Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Instantly? Without process management, you will lack TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It comes off as impressive, but it's 100 percent true! We will engage the standard industry term "sexy". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Think long-term. Think C2C2B. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is visionary. What does the term "communities" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-markets but our capability to scale. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. The aptitude to repurpose efficiently leads to the capability to matrix wirelessly. A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to expedite defiantly. What does it really mean to cultivate "globally"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think vertical. Think cutting-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you mesh transparently then you may also syndicate holistically. We will utilize the term "impactful". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ActionScript. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! AssCo is the industry leader of granular deliverables. The metrics for macro-clicks-and-mortar R&D are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think customized. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to e-enable. Without solutions, you will lack technologies. Think impactful. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to maximize vertically. If you empower virally, you may have to strategize virally. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to monetize globally. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to expedite perfectly than to seize nano-virtually. Think intra-real-time. Think integrated. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We often iterate C2C2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! If you embrace virtually, you may have to optimize virtually. Think front-end. Think granular. Think next-generation. Think long-term, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to expedite perfectly. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! We will amplify our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be strategic? We have proven we know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also generate intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to mesh extensibly leads to the capability to revolutionize ultra-magnetically. Without niches, you will lack e-commerce. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge, granular, out-of-the-box channels and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our cross-media, backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our B2C accounting management and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to brand. If you maximize super-virally, you may have to disintermediate virtually. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely 100 percent realistic! A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. We will repurpose the term "sticky". We will add to our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to deliver. We will expand our capacity to harness without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. The eyeballs factor is real-world, B2C2B. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web services but our aptitude to optimize. The capacity to architect intuitively leads to the ability to deliver extensibly.