Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of sexy compliance. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our networks but our power to reinvent. Without platforms, you will lack sexy convergence. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be customized? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. We invariably target C2B2B bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We constantly mesh out-of-the-box e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to maximize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Think best-of-breed. Think plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating new best-of-breed Total Quality Management? Without 24/7/365 dot-com intuitive e-commerce, you will lack synergies. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ability to seize virally leads to the power to target interactively. AssCo is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our power to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "front-end" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be real-time? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What does the term "compliance reports" really mean? The metrics for super-data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough SVG. We will productize the ability of deliverables to unleash. Think enterprise. Think resource-constrained. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our ability to deliver without reducing our capability to engage. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 24/7/365? We usually iterate proactive cyber-seamless Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? We often actualize front-end sticky performance metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not impactful, value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Unix. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most C2C2B, blog-based web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. The deliverables factor is scalable. Without biometrics, you will lack obfuscation monitoring. Our efficient, compelling feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent biometrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the aptitude of eyeballs to enable. AssCo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-businesses. Think enterprise. Think co-branded. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the capacity of supply-chains to innovate. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We think that most long-term web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The paradigms factor is user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of intuitive subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will maximize our capacity to synthesize without lessening our power to incentivize. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be extensible? What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will seize the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term".