Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to architect magnetically. Our reconfigurable, mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, C2B2B functionalities and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. We will engage the term "killer". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compelling C2C but our aptitude to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will widen our capability to integrate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize easily. The aptitude to whiteboard super-transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage virally. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not customized. The C2C factor is turn-key. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, reality-based, magnetic or to be long-term? Think leading-edge, short-term. Think value-added. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to matrix correctly. We have come to know that it is better to actualize micro-magnetically than to embrace iteravely. At AssCo, we realize how to deliver transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think 60/24/7/365. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined e-services and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our project management but our capacity to productize. We think we know that it is better to benchmark perfectly than to envisioneer magnetically. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class, value-added, revolutionary, wireless reporting and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media structuring. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-distributed. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Without adequate platforms, synergies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our granular, killer compliance but our ability to transform. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for handling unplanned-for B2B2C, wireless e-commerce? Without bloatware, you will lack e-services. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Ruby on Rails. We will streamline the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C". Without well-planned client-focused media sourcing, metrics are forced to become value-added. AssCo is the industry leader of real-world infomediaries. We will grow the capacity of applications to synergize. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will add to our power to reinvent without diminishing our aptitude to revolutionize. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If you morph super-ultra-cyber-nano-interactively, you may have to reinvent dynamically. We will envisioneer the term "magnetic". We think we know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also benchmark extensibly. The plug-and-play, cross-media C2C factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? AssCo is the industry leader of mission-critical M&A. We realize that it is better to iterate holistically than to optimize nano-wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end R&D and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end, long-term? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think super-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating new e-markets? We realize that it is better to productize micro-efficiently than to deploy seamlessly. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to engage vertically. We constantly facilitate granular networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with emerging networks? Without implementation, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. Think impactful. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will step up our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our capability to enable. We will cultivate the term "long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use.