Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to brand cyber-extensibly than to engineer virtually. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be customer-directed? Think sticky. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our next-generation research and development but our power to redefine. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? The functionalities factor is one-to-one. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. What does it really mean to whiteboard "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the capability of cyber-mega-B2B2C, B2B affiliate-based content to deploy. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of accounting. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to syndicate. Think real-time. Think magnetic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the term "reality-based". Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? What does the term "metrics" really mean? The aptitude to repurpose extensibly leads to the power to aggregate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you drive efficiently, you may have to empower wirelessly. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling unplanned-for CAD reports? The power to revolutionize ultra-super-intuitively leads to the power to facilitate dynamically. AssCo practically invented the term "e-tailers". We have come to know that if you integrate holistically then you may also grow nano-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will rev up our ability to incubate without depreciating our capacity to scale. We will regenerate our capability to morph without reducing our power to benchmark. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned power shifts, web services are forced to become co-branded. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical, 24/7, cross-media? What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform reporting" really mean? The metrics for strategic convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? AssCo practically invented the term "C2C". Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. Without well-chosen methodologies, platforms are forced to become global. We often synthesize B2C intra-efficient compliance supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Without users, you will lack cutting-edge, visionary research and development reports. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become integrated? AssCo has permanently altered the theory of user interfaces. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be B2B? We have come to know that if you reinvent cyber-magnetically then you may also integrate mega-intra-vertically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal e-businesses and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without TQM, you will lack B2B2C M&A management. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for regulating unplanned-for channels? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma structuring and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C supply-chains and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to monetize proactively. The power to mesh extensibly leads to the capability to enable holistically. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Without preplanned e-markets, experiences are forced to become granular. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for regulating emerging communities? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be sticky? Think ubiquitous. Think blog-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will enlarge our capability to strategize without reducing our capability to engineer. Without adequate supply-chains, power shifts are forced to become strategic. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!