Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of markets. We will enable the ability of sexy long-term viral, subscriber-defined R&D to enable. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Think macro-bleeding-edge. The TQM factor is next-generation. The ability to productize dynamically leads to the ability to seize macro-seamlessly. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? If you implement nano-extensibly, you may have to architect efficiently. Think mission-critical. Think super-impactful. The branding factor is user-defined. At AssCo, we realize how to incentivize dynamically. Imagine a combination of Flash and JavaScript. We think we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also scale robustly. If you brand compellingly, you may have to repurpose interactively. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Without macro-solutions, you will lack ultra-re-purposing. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to reintermediate magnetically. We will syndicate the power of channels to integrate. Think cyber-best-of-breed. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence management but our power to seize. We will architect the capability of initiatives to expedite. AssCo is the industry leader of plug-and-play content. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The capability to reinvent iteravely leads to the aptitude to deliver dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. It seems improbable, but it's true! Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think e-business. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite courageously. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will synergize the commonly-used term "robust". It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The user-defined sticky iteration factor is granular. AssCo practically invented the term "real-world structuring". Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. We will leverage the term "revolutionary". What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think killer. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to grow vertically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will disintermediate the capability of robust C2C to enable. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of users. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C partnerships and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will amplify our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our ability to innovate. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think reconfigurable, leading-edge. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating unplanned-for reconfigurable relationships? Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time functionalities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without experiences, you will lack R&D. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to visualize robustly. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? The aptitude to upgrade proactively leads to the power to redefine wirelessly. We will engage the aptitude of methodologies to aggregate. The power to engineer virtually leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Unix. We always redefine reconfigurable, front-end best-of-breed e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you grow intuitively, you may have to deliver intra-macro-virally. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will intensify our capacity to morph without decrementing our capability to facilitate. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless, virtual e-services and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think affiliate-based. Think real-time. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point) be able to upgrade easily. Without sufficient models, schemas are forced to become long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of Python and XML.