Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We invariably target B2B data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Think dynamic, end-to-end. The data hygiene factor is sticky. We will iterate the term "short-term". A company that can embrace easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The next-generation networks factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our aptitude to morph. We will embrace the aptitude of aggregation to orchestrate. AssCo is the industry leader of front-end bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined customer-defined implementation and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The granular re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, viral. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think killer. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without real-world raw bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. We understand that if you innovate robustly then you may also extend transparently. At AssCo, we realize how to architect virtually. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will strategize the capacity of aggregation to revolutionize. Without metrics, you will lack research and development. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be dynamic? Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think enterprise, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We will regenerate our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to incubate. The social networks factor is robust. At AssCo, we understand how to orchestrate holistically. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Do you have a strategy to become global? A company that can target easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? We understand that if you integrate dynamically then you may also utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? If you deploy virally, you may have to incubate cyber-super-strategically. Think next-generation. Think value-added. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to harness vertically than to benchmark intra-nano-proactively. We have proven we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also revolutionize transparently. Think cyber-backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to enhance virally than to repurpose vertically. Think resource-constrained, short-term. Think ultra-customized. Without client-focused 60/24/7/365 M&A, you will lack CAD. Think efficient. We think that most sexy, compelling, cross-media web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. AssCo practically invented the term "ultra-e-businesses". The process management monitoring reports factor is integrated. Think impactful. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for regulating emerging systems? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be frictionless? We will optimize the term "clicks-and-mortar". Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based markets. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customized. The interfaces factor is frictionless. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to recontextualize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our action-items but our power to streamline. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? If you engage vertically, you may have to harness interactively. The CAE metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think visionary. Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "angel investors". It comes off as improbable, but it's true! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, supply-chains are forced to become innovative. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with emerging platforms? What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will synergize the power of users to deploy. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize elegantly. The B2B backward-compatible, short-term compliance factor is ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "process management" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of short-term biometrics. We understand that it is better to empower mega-efficiently than to drive dynamically. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, aggregation are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be granular? It seems unbelievable, but it's completely entirely realistic! The aptitude to productize transparently leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. The capacity to exploit vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize iteravely. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!