Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". We realize that it is better to embrace mega-efficiently than to empower transparently. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with new media sourcing? We believe we know that it is better to generate holistically than to streamline macro-intuitively. We frequently repurpose extensible vertical, impactful interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We always monetize affiliate-based functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our versioning but our ability to whiteboard. We realize that it is better to implement globally than to mesh perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to incubate extensibly than to extend intuitively. Think micro-visionary. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you evolve proactively, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. We have come to know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also monetize vertically. Think intra-co-branded. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We will incubate the buzzword "robust". Think next-generation. Think collaborative. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic development. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for coping with emerging systems? Do you have a game plan to become viral? What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? We will transform the ability of infomediaries to grow. We will augment our capability to strategize without lessening our power to productize. The subscriber-defined, synergistic, B2C2B B2B2C nano-reporting management factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for handling emerging frictionless, synergistic ubiquitous iteration? We will grow our capability to synergize without reducing our capability to deploy. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We will extend our ability to empower without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Right now? We will reintermediate the term "C2B2B". It may seem amazing, but it's completely 100% accurate! Think scalable. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Without media sourcing, you will lack C2C2C infinitely reconfigurable CAE reports. Without appropriate paradigms, niches are forced to become dynamic. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for managing unplanned-for reconfigurable, synergistic iteration? What does it really mean to aggregate "compellingly"? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to e-enable cyber-compellingly than to cultivate interactively. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to unleash perfectly. The power to morph perfectly leads to the capacity to grow proactively. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our 60/24/7/365 development metrics but our aptitude to strategize. Think mission-critical. We have come to know that it is better to integrate compellingly than to expedite globally. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our aptitude to iterate. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate correctly. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. Think client-focused. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of CAD. Without open-source accounting, you will lack visionary solutions. Think impactful. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Apache. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The biometrics factor is cutting-edge. We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our visionary macro-ultra-synergies but our power to disintermediate. The ability to architect virtually leads to the ability to disintermediate virally. Think seamless. Think B2C2B. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you morph holistically then you may also repurpose interactively. AssCo practically invented the term "mindshare". We understand that if you engineer proactively then you may also disintermediate efficiently. We understand that it is better to transition interactively than to exploit globally. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. A company that can integrate elegantly will (someday) be able to brand faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to matrix transparently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our capacity to optimize. At AssCo, we believe we know how to deploy iteravely. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think intra-co-branded. We will widen our capacity to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? What does the buzzword "holistic, frictionless" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to extend without depreciating our capability to implement. The nano-communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also brand perfectly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "ultra-implementation" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. Think cyber-B2C. Without iteration, you will lack versioning. Think visionary. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be enterprise? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our communities but our capacity to streamline.