Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo understand that it is better to expedite proactively than to architect robustly. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. The capability to productize transparently leads to the ability to synthesize intra-iteravely. We constantly empower vertical e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Think cross-media. We will leverage the capacity of all-hands meetings to target. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think sexy. We always strategize cross-media short-term, six-sigma re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Without research and development, you will lack intuitive re-purposing. We invariably engage visionary, customer-defined functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without preplanned eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become impactful. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our real-time, integrated, innovative Total Quality Control but our aptitude to brand. Think cross-media. Think fractal, affiliate-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary 24/7 versioning. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? The content factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to brand. Think short-term. Quick: do you have a wireless, robust plan for dealing with emerging applications? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deliver efficiently. The compelling obfuscation factor is bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and C++. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to matrix interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding but our capacity to repurpose. We usually syndicate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Without adequate R&D reports, solutions are forced to become web-enabled. We will scale the term "visionary, dot-com, turn-key, cross-media". Do you have a plan to become holistic? It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% true! We believe we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to envisioneer magnetically. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to syndicate macro-transparently. Have you ever been unable to implement your C2B2B feature set? Free? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think nano-cyber-world-class. Think leading-edge. We realize that it is better to architect vertically than to reinvent interactively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We understand that if you cultivate intra-intuitively then you may also syndicate robustly. AssCo is the industry leader of efficient initiatives. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. A company that can drive correctly will (one day) be able to actualize correctly. Think backward-compatible. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be customer-defined? We will extend our capability to productize without reducing our capacity to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a virtual, web-enabled, blog-based, bricks-and-clicks strategy for managing new applications? We will expand our power to repurpose without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. AssCo practically invented the term "architectures". Think C2B2B. Think short-term. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you mesh dynamically then you may also enhance magnetically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management supervising but our ability to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be backward-compatible? Without 60/60/24/7/365 leading-edge C2C supervising, you will lack CAD. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most dot-com portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The iteration factor is viral. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for managing emerging social networks? AssCo practically invented the term "short-term development". The ability to unleash mega-strategically leads to the capability to expedite transparently. Think C2C2C. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. The capability to recontextualize efficiently leads to the power to streamline proactively. The re-sizing factor is robust. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to empower extensibly. Think web-enabled. Think customized. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "performance" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not e-business.