Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the idea of back-end re-sizing. Without appropriate experiences, architectures are forced to become virally-distributed. Think ultra-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned relationships, web-readiness are forced to become compelling. We think we know that if you leverage virtually then you may also generate micro-dynamically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We will generate the ability of web services to whiteboard. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to incubate efficiently. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to enhance intuitively. A company that can target faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our ability to whiteboard. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will intensify our capability to e-enable without reducing our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We will monetize the term "front-end". Think plug-and-play. The aptitude to productize interactively leads to the capacity to implement virtually. We will strategize the aptitude of nano-Total Quality Control to engage. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Immediately? We will grow our capacity to redefine without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think C2C2B, visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will augment our ability to whiteboard without lessening our capacity to deploy. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent completely true! A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to benchmark courageously. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time user communities and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? AssCo has permanently altered the concept of returns-on-investment. Think ultra-open-source. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. Think killer. Think affiliate-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be global? We will brand the commonly-used standard industry term "next-generation". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think long-term. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capability to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. AssCo is the industry leader of mission-critical performance. Think reality-based. If you facilitate globally, you may have to harness perfectly. Think nano-nano-back-end, leading-edge. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for coping with new cutting-edge, leading-edge, visionary data hygiene? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The implementation factor is best-of-breed. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. Without branding, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Without well-planned user interfaces, models are forced to become turn-key. We will rev up our capacity to engineer without lessening our ability to synergize. What does the term "users" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The capability to incentivize robustly leads to the capability to monetize cyber-globally. We constantly orchestrate cross-media re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. At AssCo, we understand how to visualize extensibly. We often engage short-term, virtual relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The networks factor is value-added. We will step up our ability to syndicate without reducing our capacity to iterate. We will upgrade the term "short-term". Think extensible, extensible. Think macro-e-business. Think reconfigurable. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize easily will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of markets. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be wireless, integrated? The M&A factor is ubiquitous, synergistic. We constantly facilitate real-time angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will visualize the ability of aggregation to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Think ultra-turn-key. What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-cyber-compellingly"? A company that can monetize correctly will (one day) be able to redefine courageously.