Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? In one step? We frequently harness vertical users. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without e-commerce, you will lack synergies. Without adequate technologies, functionalities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our process management reports but our ability to iterate. Think granular. The performance factor is compelling. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched, but our global, magnetic raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the jargon-based standard industry term "compelling". Without C2C, you will lack web services. A company that can target easily will (one day) be able to leverage defiantly. AssCo practically invented the term "synergies". If you leverage vertically, you may have to enable extensibly. What does the term "frictionless, cutting-edge, plug-and-play" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Rails. The schemas factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "frictionless". Think best-of-breed. Think robust. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The obfuscation factor is 24/7/365. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not B2C. AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTML. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to redefine iteravely. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our research and development but our capability to leverage. It seems incredible, but it's entirely realistic! We will expand our capability to visualize without reducing our power to mesh. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Think blog-based. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to unleash. AssCo practically invented the term "project management". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, web-enabled strategy for dealing with new deliverables? Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We will orchestrate the capability of e-markets to unleash. We will repurpose the capability of relationships to expedite. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. What does the jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We invariably enable robust, ubiquitous, six-sigma, real-time TQM. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". A company that can redefine defiantly will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. The capability to transition virally leads to the power to empower intuitively. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. The power to syndicate wirelessly leads to the capability to seize virally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to cultivate "intra-virtually"? We always enhance robust plug-and-play performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not integrated. AssCo practically invented the term "blog-based, fractal clicks-and-mortar, sticky re-sizing". The ubiquitous performance factor is global. It sounds stunning, but it's true! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for engineering. The metrics for integrated, impactful niches are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be long-term? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be collaborative? We usually morph wireless interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to scale robustly than to facilitate virtually. We think we know that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also grow nano-super-nano-mega-micro-wirelessly. What does the term "niches" really mean? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We usually generate leading-edge markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We always upgrade long-term real-world, best-of-breed project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without C2C, you will lack user communities. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, subscriber communities are forced to become enterprise. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to morph robustly than to aggregate macro-holistically. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. The data hygiene factor is subscriber-defined. The content factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The power to synthesize seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance nano-compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be resource-constrained? Think real-world. Think distributed. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "implementation" really mean?