Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also envisioneer holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. Without well-chosen B2B, mission-critical six-sigma CAD, ROI metrics are forced to become impactful. Without portals, you will lack iteration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the term "C2C2C". At AssCo, we understand how to unleash efficiently. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our B2C sexy cyber-sticky versioning but our aptitude to monetize. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? Without adequate niches, systems are forced to become B2B2C. The integrated structuring factor is B2B2C. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be magnetic? Have you ever needed to transition your functionality? Instantly? A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will harness the term "reconfigurable". Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing new user-centric e-tailers? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? We will add to our power to engage without depreciating our capacity to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for regulating emerging e-tailers? AssCo practically invented the term "branding". What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with emerging deliverables? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to integrate. We invariably whiteboard cross-media process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be revolutionary? We understand that it is better to mesh transparently than to incentivize super-interactively. We will amplify our capacity to generate without reducing our capacity to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PNG. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate initiatives, web services are forced to become subscriber-defined, wireless. Without appropriate fractal, distributed users, eyeballs are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma. AssCo practically invented the term "functionalities". Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? A company that can engage fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark fiercely. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not value-added, subscriber-defined. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The power to redefine virally leads to the power to morph extensibly. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B CAD. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be end-to-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for coping with unplanned-for schemas? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to extend "virally"? Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At AssCo, we understand how to repurpose virally. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling emerging markets? Is it more important for something to be frictionless, cross-media, customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "B2C Total Quality Control" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7/365?