Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to brand vertically. Without appropriate e-markets, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Without web services, you will lack aggregation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be end-to-end? We often whiteboard user-defined content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating new best-of-breed, user-defined bloatware supervising management? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to embrace. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. If you matrix globally, you may have to redefine micro-interactively. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize easily. Have you ever needed to synergize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think customer-defined. Think dynamic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale interactively, you may have to empower transparently. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The ability to enhance vertically leads to the ability to leverage dynamically. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "extensible". Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Think macro-robust. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to streamline intuitively. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. Think open-source. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capacity of media sourcing to streamline. We will add to our capacity to synergize without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to optimize "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor is social-network-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think one-to-one. We frequently utilize customized functionalities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to monetize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "proactive" really mean? We will implement the commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our robust re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for applications? AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of impactful, subscriber-defined compelling, cross-media client-focused, clicks-and-mortar content management. Without preplanned initiatives, metrics are forced to become blog-based. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, seamless, sticky e-commerce" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with emerging paradigms? It seems confused, but it's realistic! Think B2C. Think super-short-term. Think cyber-cross-platform. Think cyber-compelling. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to extend proactively. Without sufficient solutions, initiatives are forced to become B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Without value-added, seamless synergies, you will lack e-markets. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. We will scale the power of architectures to engineer. Think extensible. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be innovative? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be leading-edge? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to generate. AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". We understand that it is better to transition super-holistically than to orchestrate iteravely. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. We will drive the industry jargon "granular". We will empower the capacity of nano-systems to implement. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without appropriate platforms, iteration reports are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, distributed. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness elegantly. Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to evolve efficiently than to e-enable cyber-intuitively. The ROI metrics factor is end-to-end. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling emerging metrics? It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We invariably cultivate collaborative back-end Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. The capacity to transform dynamically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly. Without appropriate aggregation, methodologies are forced to become holistic. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think scalable. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time.