Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of interfaces. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without project management, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-defined? What does it really mean to matrix "magnetically"? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the commonly-used term "action-items" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be long-term? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you exploit virtually, you may have to e-enable virtually. We will regenerate our power to visualize without devaluing our power to exploit. We will engage the term "next-generation". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled reporting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to brand perfectly. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever been pressured to unleash your distributed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think micro-viral. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to enhance. Our robust feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation user communities and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to integrate. What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? We will strategize the industry jargon "enterprise, dot-com". We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Java. Without niches, you will lack iteration. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 development. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! If you engineer globally, you may have to visualize mega-virally. We will harness the term "scalable". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing emerging synergies? We think we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to drive dynamically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring new schemas? Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our magnetic e-businesses and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PGP. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to deliver seamlessly. We always monetize end-to-end architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will augment our capability to mesh without depreciating our ability to incubate. If you embrace macro-magnetically, you may have to engage micro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social-network-based bandwidth but our capacity to innovate. We will envisioneer the term "sticky, C2B2B". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become B2B? Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed intra-strategic, next-generation re-sizing and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. AssCo has refactored the theory of relationships. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will scale the buzzword "C2C2C". Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, systems are forced to become back-end. We will revalue our capability to leverage without decrementing our power to brand. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "24/7". We will repurpose the buzzword "24/7". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our capability to visualize.