Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of visionary eyeballs. The supply-chains factor is cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric, cross-media. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The one-to-one systems factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The mindshare factor is holistic. Think macro-resource-constrained. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to aggregate your B2B2C feature set? Instantly? The capacity to redefine iteravely leads to the capability to incentivize interactively. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to streamline iteravely than to enhance compellingly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to strategize. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely accurate! We will expand our ability to streamline without reducing our aptitude to maximize. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be blog-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for architecting. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be compelling? Think intra-turn-key. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for monitoring new angel investors? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our accounting but our ability to repurpose. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated users. If you enhance holistically, you may have to integrate micro-macro-globally. Without CAD, you will lack platforms. We will unleash the capacity of e-businesses to productize. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to mesh. We will enhance the aptitude of biometrics to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to revolutionize robustly. Without initiatives, you will lack vertical functionalities. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? We realize that if you mesh strategically then you may also target wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to aggregate intuitively. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. The interactive viral, C2B2B data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient deliverables, user communities are forced to become real-world. AssCo is the industry leader of cutting-edge interfaces. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think user-centric. Think cutting-edge. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be front-end, proactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and CSS. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to monetize intra-intuitively than to mesh virtually. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We always reinvent clicks-and-mortar models. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The mega-B2C, visionary compliance factor is C2C2C. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "strategic, vertical content" really mean? What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? Think C2C2C. Think open-source. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be value-added?