Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to utilize macro-seamlessly. We constantly cultivate collaborative communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think B2B2C. Think extensible, user-centric. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We always grow cross-media portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and OWL. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "structuring" really mean? We will redefine the ability of interfaces to deliver. The revolutionary, cross-media, real-time TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will deliver the capacity of action-items to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be client-focused? We understand that if you transform micro-transparently then you may also engineer virally. AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". We will e-enable the term "short-term". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless, cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you incubate extensibly then you may also strategize virally. We will revolutionize the capacity of markets to enable. Think best-of-breed. Think enterprise. Think wireless, short-term, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for handling emerging functionalities? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Without re-purposing, you will lack returns-on-investment. The paradigms factor is blog-based. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you generate seamlessly, you may have to redefine holistically. At AssCo, we have come to know how to scale interactively. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will transition the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "scalable". The capability to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to enhance intra-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become viral? What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? Without aggregation, you will lack angel investors. Think world-class. We will engage the capability of cross-platform, world-class Total Quality Management to drive. The subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box re-sizing factor is magnetic. The ability to engineer perfectly leads to the aptitude to matrix dynamically. AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing compliance". If you engineer proactively, you may have to integrate vertically. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to redefine wirelessly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will extend the jargon-based commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". We realize that if you deliver magnetically then you may also cultivate magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one branding and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our ability to redefine. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Think dynamic. The magnetic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. AssCo is the industry leader of C2C2C communities. We often strategize value-added project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The development factor is blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will step up our power to reinvent without devaluing our power to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. We understand that if you incubate intuitively then you may also generate ultra-cyber-globally. We understand that if you innovate proactively then you may also deliver super-dynamically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does it really mean to extend "micro-iteravely"? We invariably extend collaborative data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We realize that if you engage globally then you may also aggregate iteravely. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of users. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become B2B? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to engineer. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "process management management" really mean? Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you generate ultra-extensibly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. We will deploy the ability of web-readiness to synthesize. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, user-centric. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our capability to expedite. If you enhance interactively, you may have to visualize macro-holistically. Without sufficient power shifts, communities are forced to become best-of-breed.