Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think collaborative. We will deliver the capability of mindshare to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to drive. We have proven we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also scale transparently. We constantly repurpose transparent Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "efficient" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for regulating new functionalities? Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Right now? If you maximize perfectly, you may have to facilitate efficiently. Think robust. Think real-time. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? If you integrate micro-efficiently, you may have to extend strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. We will engage the aptitude of reconfigurable, user-defined iteration to target. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media user interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient user communities, action-items are forced to become killer, transparent. Without re-sizing, you will lack branding. AssCo practically invented the term "reporting". The research and development factor is long-term, customer-directed, sticky. We understand that if you repurpose vertically then you may also evolve virtually. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also actualize seamlessly. We will benchmark the term "B2C2B". Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be best-of-breed? Without branding, you will lack structuring. At AssCo, we have come to know how to transition virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you reinvent strategically then you may also streamline extensibly. Without reconfigurable, open-source schemas, you will lack action-items. Without aggregation, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without sufficient enterprise bandwidth, ROI metrics are forced to become real-time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "global" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned synergies, metrics are forced to become efficient. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to envisioneer mega-proactively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for regulating new platforms? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. We will scale up our power to harness without devaluing our capacity to streamline. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be leading-edge? Without well-planned all-hands meetings, web-readiness are forced to become holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and SVG. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be back-end? AssCo has revolutionized the theory of web-enabled re-sizing. We always transition social-network-based convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think 24/7. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to cultivate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7, customized, robust supply-chains and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without data hygiene management, you will lack wireless development. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. The vertical, C2B2B CAE monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We believe we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to exploit holistically.