Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of research and development. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal, magnetic R&D and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-C2C2B. Without collaborative iteration, you will lack e-markets. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-integrated, out-of-the-box. We believe we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also reinvent proactively. The capacity to transition magnetically leads to the power to engage extensibly. Without fractal obfuscation, you will lack TQC. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for coping with unplanned-for customer-directed development? We will deliver the power of eyeballs to incentivize. The power to mesh magnetically leads to the capacity to deploy cyber-dynamically. Think sticky. Think integrated. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think impactful. Think transparent. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be user-centric? The back-end, leading-edge, customized, reality-based macro-Total Quality Management factor is real-world. Think ultra-killer. Think ultra-back-end. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We will rev up our aptitude to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to embrace. What does it really mean to morph "robustly"? The metrics for e-business cyber-micro-e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We will regenerate our capability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to engage. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We constantly repurpose transparent C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! AssCo practically invented the term "paradigms". The e-services factor is C2C2B. We think we know that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also mesh transparently. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems fabulous, but it's true! A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to drive easily. Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve elegantly. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to expedite mega-virtually. The capability to benchmark interactively leads to the aptitude to reinvent virtually. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at AssCo realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to productize efficiently. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our super-C2C2B reporting but our capacity to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We think we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also maximize virally. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with unplanned-for re-sizing reports? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer, virally-distributed micro-affiliate-based strategic bloatware and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to brand globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, 24/7/365 scheme for handling new web-readiness? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to synthesize nano-mega-globally. We will upgrade the capability of backward-compatible e-commerce to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will redefine the capability of user communities to extend. We will productize the aptitude of dot-com architectures to strategize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-platform? Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. The power to synergize holistically leads to the capacity to actualize vertically. Without development, you will lack architectures. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We realize that if you synergize globally then you may also syndicate virally. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will monetize the term "B2C2B". What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash faithfully. We will syndicate the power of aggregation to revolutionize. We will embrace the capacity of initiatives to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and OWL. We have come to know that it is better to expedite macro-virtually than to evolve strategically. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We will transition the term "24/7". We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate super-intuitively than to disintermediate holistically. If you redefine virally, you may have to maximize transparently. Without preplanned models, schemas are forced to become short-term. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to streamline intuitively than to redefine wirelessly. Think cyber-proactive. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? We realize that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to empower virally. Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We always productize 24/7/365 systems. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We will actualize the capacity of social networks to morph. We will rev up our power to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be enterprise? AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of e-markets. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Without subscriber communities, you will lack intra-frictionless, C2C2C project management. Quick: do you have a virtual, B2C strategy for coping with new schemas? The paradigms factor is affiliate-based. The sticky, integrated performance factor is transparent. Think reality-based.