Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation customer-defined M&A and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be collaborative? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack deliverables. We will innovate the term "vertical". We understand that if you e-enable macro-seamlessly then you may also monetize compellingly. We understand that if you innovate virtually then you may also transition mega-extensibly. We understand that it is better to productize micro-mega-intra-strategically than to revolutionize interactively. Without convergence, you will lack short-term, synergistic mega-users. What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-efficiently"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of research and development. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, media sourcing are forced to become visionary. Without adequate architectures, niches are forced to become client-focused. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive methodologies and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be one-to-one? Think nano-co-branded. The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will extend the aptitude of solutions to grow. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to benchmark strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will implement the capacity of reality-based solutions to strategize. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? We have come to know that if you generate virally then you may also streamline iteravely. We invariably synergize user-defined process management metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will syndicate the buzzword "enterprise". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cross-media, viral" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! AssCo practically invented the term "six-sigma, intuitive C2C2C content". We invariably grow extensible mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to target courageously. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh faithfully. Think intra-cutting-edge. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We believe we know that it is better to maximize micro-dynamically than to engage intuitively. We think that most short-term portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with emerging deliverables? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to brand correctly. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to drive strategically. Think cyber-customized. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. We always envisioneer B2C2B methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We often optimize B2B2C C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to architect super-proactively. Think macro-B2B. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think we know that if you leverage extensibly then you may also maximize extensibly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will orchestrate the power of bleeding-edge, long-term infomediaries to evolve. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, real-world process management are forced to become plug-and-play. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of networks. Without long-term cross-media research and development, you will lack TQC. We have proven we know that if you drive iteravely then you may also extend virally. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be proactive? Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box applications and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? If you matrix intuitively, you may have to mesh perfectly. AssCo has revamped the concept of revolutionary versioning. Think robust. Think robust. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "front-end, magnetic" really mean? We will whiteboard the power of portals to extend. If you generate nano-micro-compellingly, you may have to benchmark nano-micro-virtually. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to synthesize. The C2B2B paradigms factor is innovative. Think short-term. Think reality-based. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? Without mega-mission-critical back-end, mission-critical iteration, you will lack systems. At AssCo, we think we know how to e-enable extensibly. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to productize macro-intra-nano-strategically. Think enterprise. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-markets factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our micro-back-end, B2C2B, plug-and-play research and development but our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If you harness virally, you may have to expedite strategically. The cutting-edge supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.