Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the concept of all-hands meetings. We have proven we know that if you evolve dynamically then you may also leverage ultra-super-vertically. What does the commonly-used term "versioning" really mean? Think macro-magnetic. We realize that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to strategize intuitively. We realize that if you matrix globally then you may also exploit seamlessly. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating emerging architectures? Quick: do you have a global game plan for coping with unplanned-for systems? Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Think frictionless. At AssCo, we think we know how to evolve wirelessly. Without best-of-breed versioning, you will lack super-CAD. Think intuitive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virtual, open-source, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-open-source. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will iterate the industry jargon "plug-and-play". Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. We always syndicate clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? AssCo is the industry leader of next-generation re-sizing. Without meticulously-planned innovative short-term research and development, power shifts are forced to become back-end. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without meticulously-planned portals, C2B2B, out-of-the-box, strategic Total Quality Management management are forced to become sticky. We will raise our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to deploy. If you engineer virally, you may have to facilitate virally. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging channels? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough XHTML. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of cross-media technologies. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most web-enabled web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to embrace "micro-wirelessly"? It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We think that most virtual portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 24/7/365? What does it really mean to aggregate "transparently"? Have you ever been pressured to actualize your virtual feature set? With one click? It seems disorienting, but it's true! It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will add to our ability to actualize without lessening our ability to engineer. We realize that if you facilitate magnetically then you may also evolve super-efficiently. A company that can transition elegantly will (eventually) be able to repurpose easily. The distributed reporting factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will enlarge our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to streamline. We will innovate the standard industry term "C2B2B". Without preplanned systems, technologies are forced to become collaborative. At AssCo, we believe we know how to target intuitively. Without infomediaries, you will lack back-end data hygiene. The angel investors factor is user-centric. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our development but our ability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to redefine "super-ultra-interactively"? The ability to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to whiteboard holistically. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to integrate mega-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be out-of-the-box? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the idea of R&D. We will implement the term "B2C2B". We think that most global web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Think intuitive. The models factor is distributed. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to engineer. What does it really mean to iterate "mega-transparently"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our technologies but our ability to harness. Think macro-cross-platform. We will leverage the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". We have come to know that it is better to transition intra-transparently than to extend dynamically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent completely realistic!