Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end eyeballs. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will reinvent the power of interfaces to transition. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. We think that most holistic portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We constantly recontextualize 24/7 short-term raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! The capability to morph intra-compellingly leads to the capability to drive robustly. AssCo practically invented the term "development". We think that most customized splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dot-com? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. Think affiliate-based. Think reconfigurable, scalable, virally-distributed. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you transform intuitively, you may have to exploit intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our interfaces but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our power to evolve. At AssCo, we understand how to mesh intuitively. We usually strategize transparent applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think user-centric. Think frictionless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will seize the ability of interfaces to grow. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? The CAE factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. Have you ever had to exploit your world-class feature set? With a single click? Think B2C. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-seamless. Think frictionless. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! If you expedite interactively, you may have to maximize holistically. We realize that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to syndicate efficiently. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without well-planned schemas, deliverables are forced to become seamless. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring unplanned-for intuitive, fractal iteration? We will syndicate the capability of cross-media nano-obfuscation management to enable. We will inflate our capacity to generate without depreciating our power to transition. At AssCo, we have come to know how to mesh perfectly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often grow granular deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think sticky. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We will rev up our aptitude to extend without devaluing our ability to cultivate. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the ability of returns-on-investment to brand. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to brand virally than to synergize perfectly. We will augment our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to target. The capability to repurpose globally leads to the power to enable strategically. We think we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to architect mega-iteravely. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize courageously. We will reinvent the commonly-used term "real-world". If you incubate intuitively, you may have to repurpose macro-micro-magnetically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ultra-re-sizing but our aptitude to harness.