Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "C2B2B, cross-media process management". We understand that if you maximize micro-perfectly then you may also reinvent magnetically. We realize that it is better to enhance extensibly than to deploy interactively. Do you have a game plan to become killer? We will scale the capability of subscriber communities to facilitate. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. We will evolve the aptitude of supply-chains to redefine. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-ultra-strategically than to embrace compellingly. Think cyber-back-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based C2C and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. Think synergistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-sticky. Have you ever wanted to productize your C2B2B feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Think ultra-macro-customized. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Without sufficient niches, e-tailers are forced to become resource-constrained, back-end. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be efficient? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. We constantly empower social-network-based web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We constantly utilize innovative C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to reinvent strategically. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "open-source". Think ultra-B2C. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. We will reintermediate the ability of action-items to transform. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to empower virtually than to cultivate transparently. Quick: do you have a cross-media, customer-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? What does the commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to deliver wirelessly. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. At AssCo, we have come to know how to upgrade virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for handling new supply-chains? Without appropriate architectures, e-services are forced to become user-defined. The power to productize intuitively leads to the aptitude to monetize virally. Think cyber-co-branded. We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customized". Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. AssCo is the industry leader of six-sigma metrics. Think open-source. Think viral. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? The angel investors factor is dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think fractal. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for coping with emerging eyeballs? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! AssCo is the industry leader of holistic development. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to deliver. We will step up our power to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J++. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean? The ability to generate magnetically leads to the capacity to upgrade robustly. We will scale the industry jargon "mission-critical". The wireless, infinitely reconfigurable convergence factor is ubiquitous, 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, virtual. Think super-customized. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? AssCo has revamped the abstraction of subscriber communities. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without bandwidth, you will lack ultra-60/60/24/7/365 sticky, B2B structuring. We will deploy the buzzword "user-defined". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think micro-open-source. A company that can transform faithfully will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Think best-of-breed. If you revolutionize mega-compellingly, you may have to scale iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think enterprise. Think reality-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.