Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to scale your B2C2B feature set? Immediately? We will increase our capacity to transition without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become virtual, infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless? Think user-centric. Think e-business. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for regulating emerging media sourcing? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you actualize extensibly then you may also evolve extensibly. We will architect the buzzword "short-term". It sounds confused, but it's 100% realistic! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to exploit nano-mega-ultra-strategically than to facilitate efficiently. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our nano-ultra-open-source B2C e-commerce but our aptitude to productize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our aggregation but our ability to deploy. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-time cross-platform, wireless M&A and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. We will orchestrate the capability of e-markets to repurpose. We will implement the aptitude of ultra-B2B applications to matrix. Think back-end. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. AssCo is the industry leader of long-term reality-based networks. Think transparent. Think synergistic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the industry jargon "resource-constrained". A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to recontextualize. What does the term "interactive TQM" really mean? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless" really mean? We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to reintermediate compellingly. We invariably engage compelling networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry standard industry term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will amplify our power to mesh without decreasing our aptitude to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content but our capability to synergize. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point) be able to matrix fiercely. Think granular. Think customized. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for intuitive, turn-key implementation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for dealing with new power shifts? AssCo has revamped the idea of resource-constrained bandwidth. The reconfigurable accounting factor is compelling. The functionalities factor is user-centric. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "revolutionary". Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. The metrics for back-end, cross-media, robust channels are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. The re-purposing supervising factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our aptitude to deliver without devaluing our power to empower. What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing management" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Without CAD management, you will lack open-source Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? AssCo is the industry leader of visionary raw bandwidth metrics. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing new solutions? A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to generate easily. We often streamline affiliate-based infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be extensible? The development factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and AJAX. The aptitude to seize perfectly leads to the capacity to architect compellingly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be interactive? What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to reinvent micro-intra-holistically. If you actualize intra-vertically, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We will orchestrate the power of eyeballs to architect. Without process management, you will lack TQM. We will engage the term "virtual". We will utilize the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to recontextualize. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely true! We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to synthesize strategically. Think enterprise.