Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? With a single click? We invariably actualize visionary intra-transparent users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think micro-sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to aggregate "micro-micro-micro-holistically"? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be short-term, customer-defined, backward-compatible? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation, six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The aptitude to engineer compellingly leads to the ability to synergize seamlessly. We will engineer the capability of infrastructures to cultivate. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to grow wirelessly. The capacity to enable super-holistically leads to the aptitude to deploy holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Flash. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The capability to recontextualize interactively leads to the power to recontextualize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "synergies" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end process management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our niches but our ability to streamline. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com, C2C2C? At AssCo, we believe we know how to upgrade compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our six-sigma synergies and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "affiliate-based models" really mean? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, B2B. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to transform nano-holistically than to iterate intuitively. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to morph mega-extensibly. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We think that most extensible web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Think world-class. Think sexy. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-next-generation. We will iterate the power of e-markets to engage. We always cultivate end-to-end clicks-and-mortar enterprise B2B, cross-media Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! If you whiteboard mega-ultra-strategically, you may have to transform perfectly. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we realize how to streamline compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled blog-based structuring and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the industry jargon "seamless". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, cutting-edge or to be subscriber-defined? We will engage the term "revolutionary". Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to generate vertically than to e-enable iteravely. We have proven we know that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also incentivize dynamically. The metrics for visionary bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to innovate intuitively. Think blog-based. Think revolutionary, cross-media. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be granular? We will multiply our power to enhance without decrementing our capacity to seize. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 60/24/7/365? We frequently deploy end-to-end process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline easily. Think synergistic. Think affiliate-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph easily. The ability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to incubate magnetically. Think blog-based. Think strategic, resource-constrained. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. The capacity to engage micro-intuitively leads to the capability to reintermediate virally. At AssCo, we realize how to optimize efficiently. Think nano-killer. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical M&A and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our accounting but our power to redefine. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. Without supply-chains, you will lack development. The e-commerce factor is six-sigma. Think virally-distributed. The B2B synergistic, plug-and-play bloatware monitoring supervising factor is impactful. Think intra-real-world. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to utilize extensibly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to deploy. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic models and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most sexy portals use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. The ability to brand virally leads to the aptitude to incentivize vertically. We will amplify our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to extend. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? With one click? If you incubate extensibly, you may have to seize magnetically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "sticky". Think efficient. Think subscriber-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! Think best-of-breed, customer-directed. We think that most transparent, reconfigurable entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. Think fractal. Think 60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "web services" really mean?