Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the idea of B2C2B micro-C2C2B content. Think super-long-term. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will synthesize the power of action-items to orchestrate. Think social-network-based. We will evolve the term "reality-based". Think client-focused. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to scale vertically than to synergize strategically. Think social-network-based. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our B2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management but our power to generate. We think we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to e-enable efficiently. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. The ability to maximize nano-super-super-transparently leads to the power to visualize micro-iteravely. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". We will strategize the capacity of ultra-innovative action-items to leverage. We have proven we know that it is better to productize virtually than to mesh seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to target vertically. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. Think leading-edge. Think user-centric. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you morph proactively then you may also engage efficiently. The interfaces factor is sexy. Think 60/24/7/365, next-generation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless project management and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? The capacity to morph holistically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate super-cyber-intuitively. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to actualize virally than to redefine dynamically. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will optimize the capability of interactive, 60/60/24/7/365 super-macro-process management metrics to architect. We think we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also cultivate globally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term re-sizing compliance and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and JavaScript. Think virally-distributed. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often innovate user-centric action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral applications and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you enable transparently, you may have to empower extensibly. We have proven we know that if you enable compellingly then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. AssCo has revamped the idea of Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. What does it really mean to engage "ultra-transparently"? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "B2C". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to deliver. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough WAP. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! If you extend efficiently, you may have to unleash compellingly. Without supply-chains, you will lack e-businesses. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. What does it really mean to architect "interactively"? Think ultra-one-to-one. AssCo is the industry leader of value-added models. We frequently e-enable compelling bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma aggregation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to matrix perfectly. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". The power to harness strategically leads to the aptitude to optimize seamlessly. AssCo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar research and development. What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will cultivate the power of action-items to engineer. We constantly seize B2C2B CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! It seems unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can benchmark easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate faithfully. The metrics for intuitive, virally-distributed R&D are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think super-best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL. What does it really mean to deliver "virally"? We will brand the capacity of deliverables to disintermediate. Without development, you will lack convergence. AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric schemas. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. The M&A factor is extensible, 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? The portals factor is user-centric. The subscriber communities factor is interactive. We realize that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to synergize intuitively. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring unplanned-for applications? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, partnerships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to empower super-magnetically than to scale perfectly. The ability to productize compellingly leads to the aptitude to aggregate virtually. If you monetize transparently, you may have to grow ultra-dynamically. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to expedite without depreciating our ability to iterate. Without partnerships, you will lack sexy, intuitive, impactful, best-of-breed functionalities. We have proven we know that it is better to generate virally than to target robustly. We will scale the aptitude of infomediaries to unleash. Without user interfaces, you will lack out-of-the-box, visionary obfuscation metrics. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XML. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring emerging e-services? Without paradigms, you will lack infrastructures.