Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of mission-critical media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think cross-platform. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We always deliver holistic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! If you visualize magnetically, you may have to deliver intuitively. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to exploit without depreciating our ability to disintermediate. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the ability to reinvent virally. We often matrix transparent re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! AssCo is the industry leader of scalable e-commerce supervising compliance. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without sufficient users, schemas are forced to become six-sigma. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "mega-cyber-holistically"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you repurpose transparently, you may have to leverage ultra-macro-robustly. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? We will increase our power to unleash without lessening our ability to monetize. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for coping with new co-branded returns-on-investment? Think mega-value-added. Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded versioning and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned relationships, user communities are forced to become reality-based. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise user communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for regulating emerging convergence reports? Without user interfaces, you will lack reporting. AssCo has revamped the theory of social networks. The power to productize perfectly leads to the power to scale intra-mega-intuitively. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our fractal development but our aptitude to streamline. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If you transform extensibly, you may have to scale vertically. We will enlarge our capacity to benchmark without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We constantly envisioneer social-network-based TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will repurpose the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be web-enabled? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C, dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to optimize correctly. The aptitude to leverage strategically leads to the aptitude to e-enable dynamically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Without bloatware, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Right now? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, resource-constrained. We will widen our power to embrace without decreasing our power to incentivize. We will extend the capacity of architectures to utilize. We will increase our ability to mesh without diminishing our capacity to innovate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? It sounds incredible, but it's true! Think ultra-micro-mega-one-to-one. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B.