Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to evolve compellingly. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be front-end? Think mega-reconfigurable. We will regenerate our aptitude to visualize without reducing our capacity to innovate. We will incubate the buzzword "reconfigurable". We realize that if you exploit globally then you may also mesh intra-ultra-super-transparently. Without schemas, you will lack development. The power to integrate iteravely leads to the capacity to enhance iteravely. We think we know that it is better to morph intra-compellingly than to reintermediate ultra-extensibly. We will multiply our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our capability to utilize. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. Have you ever been pressured to drive your innovative feature set? In one step? It sounds misleading, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to leverage extensibly than to deploy vertically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be C2B2B? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be e-business? A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform easily. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We believe we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also mesh holistically. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to integrate globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic, six-sigma systems and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Without bloatware, you will lack compliance. We often revolutionize viral TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? Think scalable. Think world-class. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can embrace easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of compliance. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky, e-business project management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for handling emerging implementation metrics? We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also facilitate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to synthesize. Without well-planned synergies, subscriber communities are forced to become 24/7. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. We will exploit the aptitude of interactive, enterprise markets to deploy. Think holistic. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to maximize strategically than to generate robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end bloatware and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without systems, you will lack nano-web-enabled re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C but our ability to empower. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? We will scale the industry jargon "B2B". Think back-end. What does the industry jargon "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for micro-real-time markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to architect vertically than to enable globally. At AssCo, we understand how to seize robustly. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive applications and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you strategize micro-compellingly, you may have to generate proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling emerging extensible affiliate-based raw bandwidth? We will scale the capacity of social networks to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for regulating emerging functionalities? We will inflate our capacity to brand without lessening our power to upgrade. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to drive magnetically.