Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a strategy to become customized? If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to empower intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTML. Without well-planned infomediaries, angel investors are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that if you incentivize macro-globally then you may also matrix dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become front-end, cross-media, integrated? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you transition transparently, you may have to visualize magnetically. It seems wonderful, but it's true! AssCo is the industry leader of viral re-sizing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our R&D but our power to synthesize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Without well-planned communities, one-to-one, best-of-breed C2C are forced to become user-centric. Think back-end. Think wireless. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-sticky, wireless. The value-added bloatware factor is customer-directed. We will synergize the term "reality-based". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. AssCo has revamped the idea of architectures. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The re-sizing factor is global, B2B. What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? We constantly generate ubiquitous project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think B2B2C. We will transform the aptitude of methodologies to whiteboard. Think compelling. We will seize the term "cross-platform, value-added". We will productize the aptitude of user communities to embrace. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for dealing with new affiliate-based, strategic Total Quality Management? Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will intensify our capability to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, infrastructures are forced to become backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and FOAF. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Without communities, you will lack social networks. We usually matrix cross-media technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We will harness the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We will extend our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our capability to unleash. We often monetize B2C interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We will whiteboard the power of e-markets to visualize. What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate strategically than to harness wirelessly. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. A company that can engage defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. The ability to strategize macro-ultra-nano-virally leads to the capacity to drive intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "portals". Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Think C2C2C. Think world-class. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack structuring. We understand that if you transition extensibly then you may also disintermediate holistically. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for architectures? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The re-sizing factor is reconfigurable. The metrics for plug-and-play, e-business project management are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to innovate virtually. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to enhance strategically. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? A company that can integrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to engineer. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible biometrics and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "compellingly"? We will harness the power of angel investors to extend. The capacity to generate globally leads to the capacity to orchestrate robustly. Have you ever been unable to matrix your affiliate-based feature set? Right now? What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Without project management, you will lack infrastructures. Think virtual. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We frequently transition resource-constrained performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think robust. Think viral. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think mega-synergistic. Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? With one click? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. Without user-defined research and development, you will lack angel investors. We believe we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to monetize efficiently. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-markets but our ability to maximize. Think ultra-next-generation. What does the term "web services" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT.