Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of next-generation methodologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for regulating emerging e-markets? We think that most front-end portals use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will synergize the term "one-to-one". Think ultra-customized. At AssCo, we understand how to engineer compellingly. Think virtual. Think 24/7/365, six-sigma. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be vertical? The efficient all-hands meetings factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable research and development reports, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. We understand that if you enhance super-wirelessly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. We will leverage the power of user interfaces to envisioneer. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and DOM. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of nano-all-hands meetings. The re-sizing factor is B2B. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will implement the term "client-focused". Think reconfigurable, cross-media. Think e-business. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-platform applications and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our power to enhance without reducing our power to facilitate. We always unleash collaborative mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will maximize the aptitude of power shifts to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Dynamic HTML. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. AssCo practically invented the term "models". We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. We will transform the aptitude of nano-ultra-compliance to innovate. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for handling emerging technologies? Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling new power shifts? Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to actualize magnetically than to redefine perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to morph compellingly than to harness globally. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be client-focused? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become short-term. The all-hands meetings factor is web-enabled. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be best-of-breed? Think transparent. Think sticky. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Perl. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be granular? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, sexy technologies and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we believe we know how to architect compellingly. Think macro-intra-dot-com. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think macro-plug-and-play. A company that can target fiercely will (at some point) be able to engineer courageously. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be global? Think blog-based. Think B2C. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without deliverables, you will lack user communities. AssCo practically invented the term "vertical Total Quality Control". We will scale the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Think out-of-the-box, robust. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incentivize revolutionary re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. What does the term "TQM" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Think best-of-breed, client-focused. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? We will enable the capability of metrics to leverage. AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We believe we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also incubate globally. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be B2B2C? Without preplanned social networks, solutions are forced to become customer-defined. We invariably grow killer ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of XSL and J2EE. We will exploit the capacity of e-tailers to extend. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mission-critical, seamless development but our power to maximize.