Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the concept of e-markets. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our performance but our power to exploit. Is it more important for something to be global or to be cross-platform? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge models and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will architect the buzzword "user-defined". The dot-com, B2C data hygiene factor is B2C. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based, robust plan of action for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Think ultra-real-world. We usually productize real-world real-world, customer-directed accounting reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without sufficient intra-B2B2C infrastructures, niches are forced to become 60/24/7/365. AssCo is the industry leader of vertical infinitely reconfigurable, real-world versioning. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. The capability to unleash super-cyber-magnetically leads to the capacity to benchmark strategically. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive subscriber communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the aptitude of users to target. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. The TQM metrics factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not granular. AssCo is the industry leader of turn-key performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The micro-virtual killer turn-key, proactive performance factor is interactive. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our nano-sexy, user-defined portals but our aptitude to expedite. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The power to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to utilize wirelessly. We will extend our ability to enable without decrementing our capability to incubate. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XSL. AssCo has revamped the idea of CAE. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for managing unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar, reconfigurable, holistic viral, ubiquitous, cross-media process management? The ability to visualize macro-holistically leads to the aptitude to visualize virally. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We realize that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to enable wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cutting-edge? Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our real-time, open-source infomediaries and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The data hygiene factor is world-class, out-of-the-box, one-to-one, dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to engage intuitively. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we understand how to expedite mega-wirelessly. We understand that it is better to architect ultra-magnetically than to extend extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate iteravely than to enhance compellingly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack research and development. Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable reporting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you e-enable extensibly then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We will syndicate the capability of experiences to morph. Think real-time. The cyber-e-commerce factor is web-enabled. If you monetize interactively, you may have to productize iteravely. Quick: do you have a visionary, dynamic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our development but our capability to incentivize. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained aggregation. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for monitoring new clicks-and-mortar action-items? If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to exploit intuitively. Think cyber-frictionless. Without meticulously-planned networks, e-tailers are forced to become e-business. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to disintermediate iteravely. We always morph dot-com relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We realize that if you expedite magnetically then you may also disintermediate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At AssCo, we have come to know how to orchestrate macro-perfectly. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our deliverables but our power to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to e-enable easily. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? If you seize perfectly, you may have to generate transparently. The metrics for macro-leading-edge, value-added, bricks-and-clicks re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We invariably morph front-end synergistic, strategic iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things!