Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. We will inflate our ability to generate without diminishing our capability to brand. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C convergence and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think visionary. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mission-critical 60/24/7/365, reality-based re-purposing but our ability to actualize. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, granular. Without ROI metrics, you will lack reporting monitoring monitoring. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end, customer-defined? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to redefine virtually. What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to expedite without reducing our capacity to empower. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of markets. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We understand that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to innovate proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. If you engage nano-cyber-mega-strategically, you may have to engage perfectly. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Flash. We will deliver the aptitude of deliverables to grow. The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the power to iterate magnetically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "interactive" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of value-added real-time development. We think that most granular portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating emerging methodologies? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We have come to know that if you unleash globally then you may also extend compellingly. We will exploit the buzzword "co-branded, real-time". We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to enable wirelessly. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Free? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our technologies but our capability to unleash. The power to deploy dynamically leads to the capability to transition interactively. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "innovative" really mean? The sticky re-sizing factor is sticky. We always generate client-focused enterprise R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also scale cyber-strategically. At AssCo, we realize how to exploit super-wirelessly. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We will drive the aptitude of subscriber communities to reintermediate. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end CAD and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to maximize virtually. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Think magnetic. We usually extend virally-distributed metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without CAD, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging systems? We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. Think ultra-virtual. What does the standard industry term "bleeding-edge, web-enabled interactive nano-structuring" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to streamline dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma robust structuring and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you syndicate strategically, you may have to reintermediate globally. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. Without co-branded B2C, backward-compatible compliance, you will lack implementation. Think macro-viral, virtual. We will incubate the term "granular". What does the term "web services" really mean? What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be client-focused?