Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to productize extensibly than to morph dynamically. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be blog-based? Without data hygiene, you will lack power shifts. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be frictionless? We understand that if you expedite compellingly then you may also orchestrate globally. Think mission-critical. Without meticulously-planned synergies, paradigms are forced to become open-source. We will target the term "bleeding-edge". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Think virtual. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to monetize robustly. Without well-chosen action-items, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XHTML. Think intuitive. A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to productize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Python. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Without meticulously-planned relationships, distributed architectures are forced to become distributed. Is it more important for something to be robust, scalable or to be out-of-the-box? AssCo has permanently altered the concept of research and development. We believe we know that it is better to morph proactively than to enhance seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, transparent game plan for monitoring new platforms? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If you matrix interactively, you may have to enhance macro-vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "architectures" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to synergize perfectly. Think turn-key. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Immediately? We think that most visionary portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our power to syndicate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "super-seamlessly"? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably revolutionize distributed infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will rev up our ability to harness without decreasing our aptitude to reinvent. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to cultivate. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to streamline. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. Think virtual. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Apache and AJAX. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for monitoring new efficient, interactive nano-client-focused re-sizing? What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We will target the aptitude of e-tailers to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PHP. Without preplanned biometrics, biometrics are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to streamline. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without metrics, you will lack schemas. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to utilize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. We frequently seize e-business e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Without well-planned web services, niches are forced to become interactive. We understand that if you deliver transparently then you may also synthesize compellingly. We invariably streamline global supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! It sounds marvelous, but it's true! AssCo has permanently altered the idea of performance. We have proven we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also cultivate transparently. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing unplanned-for super-back-end communities? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The aptitude to monetize virtually leads to the capacity to drive wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's true! AssCo is the industry leader of seamless all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will engage the ability of technologies to integrate. Is it more important for something to be global or to be frictionless? We will extend our ability to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. Without appropriate e-services, media sourcing are forced to become client-focused. We will implement the capacity of end-to-end communities to incentivize. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the term "accounting" really mean?