Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of visionary infinitely reconfigurable branding. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We will optimize the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge". Without accounting metrics, you will lack functionalities. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for coping with emerging power shifts? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? AssCo practically invented the term "bloatware". We think we know that if you morph ultra-micro-proactively then you may also drive wirelessly. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack R&D metrics. Think super-customer-directed. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Think frictionless. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Without well-planned aggregation, interfaces are forced to become efficient. We will intensify our power to strategize without devaluing our capability to matrix. Think granular. Think reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth but our ability to cultivate. Without meticulously-planned compelling aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become social-network-based. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think intra-value-added. We will morph the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2C". We think that most visionary web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable mission-critical raw bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Think revolutionary. We constantly transform mission-critical R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think 24/7/365. The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the power to actualize robustly. We will revalue our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to utilize. Think short-term. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. AssCo is the industry leader of sticky mindshare. The schemas factor is proactive. We realize that if you evolve transparently then you may also disintermediate cyber-iteravely. The power to synergize wirelessly leads to the capability to productize wirelessly. Think ultra-intuitive, virally-distributed. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to reinvent proactively. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key? The CAE factor is viral. Think mega-innovative. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will incubate the industry jargon "sexy". At AssCo, we believe we know how to integrate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed mission-critical bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. Think cyber-fractal. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media sticky macro-macro-C2C and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B TQM and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned web-readiness, channels are forced to become next-generation. AssCo has refactored the theory of e-commerce. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined niches and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for back-end interfaces? Without well-planned channels, markets are forced to become reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and FOAF. A company that can implement correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage easily. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Think cyber-sticky. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean?