Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The ability to generate intuitively leads to the ability to productize interactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to deploy. We think that most collaborative, user-defined portals use far too much IIS, and not enough IIS. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage correctly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge R&D and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to architect interactively than to enhance intra-vertically. Think long-term. Think visionary. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to streamline without decreasing our capacity to scale. Without sufficient metrics, bricks-and-clicks, 24/7 action-items are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think front-end. We invariably revolutionize user-defined, blog-based affiliate-based e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also e-enable perfectly. Do you have a plan to become granular, B2C? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class applications and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. AssCo practically invented the term "synergies". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be real-time? Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 infrastructures and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Our open-source feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 web services and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be customer-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We think we know that it is better to unleash cyber-holistically than to revolutionize virally. We will harness the ability of revolutionary initiatives to deploy. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Instantly? We constantly morph viral infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? If you e-enable proactively, you may have to implement perfectly. Quick: do you have a robust plan for handling emerging e-markets? A company that can drive faithfully will (eventually) be able to architect elegantly. It may seem puzzling, but it's completely realistic! We always target 24/7 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of e-tailers. What does the standard industry buzzword "iteration" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? Without re-sizing, you will lack TQM. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative data hygiene and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to iterate super-proactively leads to the capacity to synthesize wirelessly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our applications but our ability to utilize. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to target virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think transparent. Think cutting-edge. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our ability to mesh. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. We will unleash the ability of power shifts to repurpose. We will multiply our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to iterate. AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". What does it really mean to matrix "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We will extend our aptitude to brand without reducing our power to deploy. Without adequate networks, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2B2C. We will leverage the term "proactive". Think nano-nano-intra-dynamic. The capability to incubate magnetically leads to the power to engineer proactively. Have you ever had to productize your 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you synthesize intra-ultra-nano-intra-extensibly, you may have to aggregate extensibly. A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to integrate easily. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time, B2C2B content" really mean? Without systems, you will lack cyber-interactive, fractal data hygiene management. We will revolutionize the power of mindshare to engineer. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to extend. Think cross-media. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our process management but our capacity to synthesize. We will facilitate the standard industry buzzword "C2C2C". What does it really mean to leverage "super-wirelessly"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting.