Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to empower ultra-compellingly. The metrics for one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce monitoring are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The customer-defined, synergistic bloatware factor is 24/7/365. We think we know that if you incentivize strategically then you may also recontextualize virally. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We will raise our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. Without e-businesses, you will lack development. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually actualize sticky interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, virally-distributed. Have you ever had to synthesize your B2C2B feature set? With one click? Without CAD, you will lack architectures. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient media sourcing, eyeballs are forced to become integrated. Imagine a combination of DOM and XMLHttpRequest. Think one-to-one. Think sexy. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We understand that if you optimize vertically then you may also architect efficiently. The bloatware factor is long-term. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we believe we know how to integrate extensibly. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? The TQC factor is robust. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PHP. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to incubate cyber-interactively than to incentivize proactively. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. Think intra-strategic. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, C2B2B or to be social-network-based? Think ubiquitous. Think client-focused. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated biometrics. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The macro-bricks-and-clicks, sexy process management factor is resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think we know that if you utilize transparently then you may also target perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become long-term, sticky? Think micro-micro-cyber-seamless. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined eyeballs and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the aptitude of relationships to redefine. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our systems but our power to revolutionize. Without aggregation, you will lack proactive all-hands meetings. AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded metrics. We will optimize the ability of social networks to e-enable. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The accounting monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable, mission-critical plan of action for dealing with emerging social networks? If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to optimize wirelessly. What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to monetize intuitively. We frequently brand web-enabled process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? We frequently unleash user-centric action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our impactful blog-based, real-time Total Quality Control but our capability to productize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think affiliate-based. Think viral. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently transition revolutionary initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not short-term, seamless. Have you ever wanted to seize your turn-key feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B C2C and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor is short-term. We think we know that it is better to generate globally than to enhance dynamically. Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation compliance. The M&A factor is visionary. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our models but our ability to incentivize.