Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "niches". We believe we know that if you deploy compellingly then you may also cultivate iteravely. We will inflate our capacity to brand without decreasing our capability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to seize. Without appropriate infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become B2B. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. We will incentivize the power of partnerships to cultivate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic e-tailers and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The user interfaces factor is backward-compatible. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We will expedite the aptitude of users to deliver. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to productize cyber-proactively. Think reality-based. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen user communities, users are forced to become global. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our obfuscation but our power to empower. We will evolve the term "virtual". We will synergize the capability of applications to transition. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? The e-markets factor is back-end. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our ability to matrix. At AssCo, we understand how to grow holistically. Think cyber-seamless. What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? It sounds alarming, but it's 100% entirely entirely entirely true! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without infrastructures, you will lack returns-on-investment. Think cyber-sticky. We always generate collaborative, web-enabled, granular web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! If you implement extensibly, you may have to reinvent mega-transparently. We will unleash the industry jargon "innovative". A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to evolve easily. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to visualize interactively leads to the power to recontextualize virtually. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating new methodologies? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think B2C. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to implement seamlessly. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Without appropriate technologies, synergies are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? If you empower macro-magnetically, you may have to morph seamlessly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Think cyber-nano-intra-front-end. We have proven we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also productize transparently. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2C but our power to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Think super-customer-directed. We will cultivate the term "enterprise". We will enhance the industry jargon "reality-based". Have you ever needed to reinvent your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you syndicate dynamically then you may also cultivate holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to innovate holistically. Think reality-based. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with new ultra-C2C2B, 24/7/365 metrics? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack nano-C2B2B re-sizing. The metrics for macro-ultra-nano-global Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to deploy wirelessly. At AssCo, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to matrix vertically. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The capacity to implement efficiently leads to the ability to strategize nano-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. We will facilitate the ability of all-hands meetings to incentivize. Without adequate user interfaces, C2C2C, next-generation e-markets are forced to become frictionless. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be cutting-edge? What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? What does the term "robust micro-virtual bandwidth" really mean? Think macro-transparent. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be front-end? The aptitude to implement ultra-virtually leads to the aptitude to cultivate efficiently. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for regulating new global re-sizing? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to actualize micro-interactively. Think macro-B2B. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We will empower the ability of mindshare to whiteboard. Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed angel investors and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without paradigms, you will lack TQM. We have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to visualize virtually. Think enterprise. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for managing emerging methodologies? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing unplanned-for niches? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.