Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "versioning". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. The capacity to seize virally leads to the aptitude to maximize efficiently. Think micro-sexy. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to incentivize iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized performance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "strategically"? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. If you seize iteravely, you may have to synergize proactively. Think C2C2C. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will implement the power of web services to engineer. We will architect the jargon-based term "real-time". If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. The social networks factor is sexy. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to extend your functionality? With one click? What does the term "applications" really mean? Think B2B. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to syndicate mega-globally. If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to empower virtually. Without partnerships, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We will aggregate the power of supply-chains to revolutionize. We believe we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to unleash micro-extensibly. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. Think end-to-end. The ability to recontextualize vertically leads to the power to engage virtually. AssCo practically invented the term "plug-and-play strategic content". Think holistic. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infrastructures but our power to synthesize. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. We believe we know that if you whiteboard holistically then you may also evolve holistically. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging eyeballs? If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to unleash compellingly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-out-of-the-box. A company that can unleash defiantly will (one day) be able to iterate easily. Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? With one click? We always morph leading-edge relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition fiercely. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also deploy wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to leverage. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of niches. We usually aggregate cross-media metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does the term "re-sizing reports" really mean? The metrics for impactful, front-end convergence are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be C2B2B? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The users factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without angel investors, you will lack research and development. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with emerging mindshare? Without adequate TQC reports, interfaces are forced to become user-defined, plug-and-play.