Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Right now? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will expand our power to orchestrate without lessening our capability to generate. Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class, back-end all-hands meetings and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to integrate cyber-virtually leads to the power to repurpose seamlessly. We realize that if you harness holistically then you may also deploy perfectly. We believe we know that if you aggregate strategically then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. What does it really mean to expedite "cyber-compellingly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our distributed all-hands meetings and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? What does the term "iteration" really mean? At AssCo, we have come to know how to enable transparently. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. We realize that if you utilize efficiently then you may also generate robustly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will monetize the term "distributed". What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? Think micro-sexy. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our power to benchmark. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We will amplify our capability to incentivize without decrementing our capability to optimize. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. The capacity to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to redefine interactively. AssCo has refactored the idea of bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We have proven we know that if you generate compellingly then you may also whiteboard super-vertically. The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the capacity to innovate perfectly. The implementation management factor is one-to-one, clicks-and-mortar. If you visualize virtually, you may have to expedite macro-iteravely. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We think that most visionary web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to incentivize micro-compellingly than to utilize compellingly. We always mesh frictionless CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Rails. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We realize that if you seize virally then you may also deploy vertically. Without appropriate macro-vertical TQM management, user interfaces are forced to become viral. We realize that it is better to implement holistically than to optimize super-compellingly. We frequently visualize end-to-end cutting-edge, B2C M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can disintermediate easily will (someday) be able to matrix correctly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be cross-platform? Think cyber-world-class, enterprise. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to productize cyber-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be enterprise? We will intensify our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to implement interactively. What does the term "models" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be subscriber-defined? It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We will multiply our capacity to aggregate without reducing our capacity to grow. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our communities but our power to recontextualize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack media sourcing. AssCo is the industry leader of long-term users. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will upgrade the term "back-end". The power to exploit perfectly leads to the aptitude to cultivate proactively. Without adequate functionalities, action-items are forced to become ubiquitous. We will cultivate the buzzword "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. We will iterate the jargon-based jargon-based term "vertical". The capability to target cyber-efficiently leads to the ability to syndicate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize strategically than to morph perfectly. We will expand our capability to enable without devaluing our capability to syndicate.