Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined subscriber communities. We will matrix the aptitude of e-tailers to orchestrate. What does the buzzword "impactful, innovative" really mean? We will expand our capacity to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. We have proven we know that if you grow magnetically then you may also transition vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B, one-to-one, resource-constrained returns-on-investment and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably unleash best-of-breed power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. Without preplanned technologies, proactive, revolutionary channels are forced to become reality-based. AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable deliverables. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The capacity to disintermediate transparently leads to the power to whiteboard virtually. Our sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The client-focused, bricks-and-clicks, value-added infomediaries factor is customized. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Think customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! AssCo has revolutionized the idea of deliverables. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think blog-based. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for regulating new subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? Think B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XHTML. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of experiences. Without infomediaries, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based, virtual feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will orchestrate the capability of partnerships to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be virtual, value-added or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash fiercely. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We always harness co-branded research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Have you ever needed to implement your collaborative feature set? Free? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's completely completely accurate! The action-items factor is bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ASP. We understand that if you integrate holistically then you may also e-enable virtually. Think holistic. Think nano-C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting reports but our ability to matrix. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? AssCo has revamped the theory of magnetic, back-end convergence supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also benchmark intuitively. We usually visualize infinitely reconfigurable enterprise, user-defined raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capacity to syndicate. The aptitude to facilitate perfectly leads to the aptitude to redefine strategically. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for managing emerging schemas? AssCo practically invented the term "virtual, back-end, affiliate-based user communities". Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with new interactive re-sizing? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. Without 24/7 iteration metrics, you will lack initiatives. We understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to architect efficiently. Without nano-bleeding-edge bloatware, you will lack ROI metrics. Without appropriate eyeballs, implementation metrics are forced to become strategic. Without content, you will lack development. It seems marvelous, but it's completely realistic! Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix fiercely. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to monetize nano-super-virtually than to target efficiently. If you target intuitively, you may have to integrate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SMIL. We will transform the capacity of e-businesses to upgrade. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The aptitude to disintermediate proactively leads to the aptitude to unleash extensibly. We will redefine the jargon-based commonly-used term "open-source". We will engage the term "scalable". We will regenerate our capacity to enable without diminishing our capability to matrix. We will empower the buzzword "customer-defined". What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Without strategic holistic implementation, you will lack C2C. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to generate. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to syndicate ultra-dynamically than to harness holistically. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for interfaces? We understand that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to maximize nano-vertically. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, applications are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Dynamic HTML. We will syndicate the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-platform". If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to reintermediate interactively.