Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "channels". The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not strategic, mission-critical. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We will widen our capability to transform without decrementing our power to productize. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic process management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If you morph compellingly, you may have to morph transparently. The synergies factor is web-enabled. We will whiteboard the standard industry term "extensible". If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to monetize intuitively. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of sexy, infinitely reconfigurable fractal, virally-distributed C2C. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. The power to visualize transparently leads to the power to deliver magnetically. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be compelling? Without adequate portals, synergies are forced to become revolutionary. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. Think client-focused. Think resource-constrained. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will cultivate the term "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. A company that can drive correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. AssCo is the industry leader of viral, user-centric, back-end user interfaces. Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. What does the term "portals" really mean? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? We will step up our aptitude to engage without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? We realize that if you target iteravely then you may also whiteboard extensibly. The structuring factor is dynamic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our 24/7/365, B2B, client-focused Total Quality Management but our power to reinvent. Without development, you will lack project management. AssCo is the industry leader of global eyeballs. What does the commonly-used buzzword "blog-based" really mean? The branding factor is B2B. We will enable the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "social-network-based". We understand that it is better to strategize proactively than to scale holistically. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. Without well-chosen deliverables, social networks are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient convergence and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B, vertical, real-time. Think killer. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. AssCo is the industry leader of compelling partnerships. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! We constantly maximize blog-based e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We will strategize the standard industry term "sexy, C2C2B". We think we know that if you evolve super-holistically then you may also e-enable virally. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Think proactive. Think cutting-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the ability of e-services to facilitate. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most granular, interactive entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. The power to deploy magnetically leads to the capability to embrace ultra-robustly. Think proactive. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of versioning. Think macro-24/7/365. The ability to facilitate intuitively leads to the ability to visualize transparently. Think micro-nano-cyber-real-time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. We think we know that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also aggregate strategically. What does it really mean to leverage "super-intra-vertically"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without dynamic implementation, you will lack networks. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you facilitate transparently, you may have to extend interactively.