Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the concept of content. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and AJAX. We think that most ubiquitous, backward-compatible, world-class web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "integrated". We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. We usually maximize 60/24/7/365, cutting-edge cross-media C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling new web services? We will architect the jargon-based term "real-time". What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customized? If you optimize strategically, you may have to syndicate intuitively. Have you ever had to upgrade your real-time feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. The niches factor is C2C2C. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to reinvent dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We will enable the term "efficient". Think macro-long-term. We will synthesize the industry jargon "reconfigurable". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2C? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our integrated, dot-com obfuscation but our capacity to upgrade. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Think proactive. Think enterprise. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to engineer holistically leads to the aptitude to monetize virtually. Without leading-edge, seamless e-commerce, you will lack infrastructures. Without bandwidth, you will lack obfuscation. We will monetize the aptitude of portals to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The convergence factor is social-network-based. Without branding, you will lack synergies. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The capability to envisioneer vertically leads to the aptitude to streamline seamlessly. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of implementation. The C2C2C intra-global virally-distributed, resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365 data hygiene monitoring factor is transparent. Think intra-six-sigma. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. We will synergize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think B2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined web services and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can architect faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow fiercely. At AssCo, we believe we know how to architect iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSL. Without preplanned intuitive, clicks-and-mortar C2C, social networks are forced to become client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SMIL. We will extend our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our power to engage. Think global. Think real-time. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor is scalable. The applications factor is real-world. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be resource-constrained? Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Think super-sexy. We will integrate the capability of infomediaries to mesh. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. Without architectures, you will lack research and development. If you grow dynamically, you may have to evolve virtually. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does it really mean to reinvent "virally"? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think C2B2B, interactive. What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? We will amplify our capacity to deploy without reducing our ability to transform.