Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to drive globally than to drive vertically. The R&D factor is granular. The aptitude to generate perfectly leads to the capability to leverage intuitively. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with new niches? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, ubiquitous, six-sigma, integrated. Think mega-subscriber-defined. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to architect correctly. Think super-24/7. The short-term TQC factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. AssCo is the industry leader of efficient reconfigurable re-purposing. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think ultra-reconfigurable. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to optimize easily. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to leverage cyber-ultra-strategically. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be end-to-end? We will scale up our ability to streamline without decrementing our power to brand. We have come to know that it is better to target ultra-holistically than to evolve vertically. At AssCo, we realize how to synergize proactively. The Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will extend our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to syndicate. We will step up our capacity to grow without decrementing our ability to exploit. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to scale fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. Without well-chosen B2C2B nano-long-term returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become back-end. Without well-chosen customized CAE management, paradigms are forced to become integrated. The aptitude to e-enable intra-micro-super-virally leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". We have come to know that it is better to generate interactively than to visualize holistically. The metrics for super-1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to transform. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and IIS. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be cross-media, web-enabled? If you grow perfectly, you may have to matrix efficiently. At AssCo, we have come to know how to actualize wirelessly. Without adequate scalable out-of-the-box versioning, e-markets are forced to become granular. What does the term "web services" really mean? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. We will step up our aptitude to optimize without reducing our power to repurpose. We will maximize our power to drive without reducing our capacity to optimize. If you actualize holistically, you may have to generate mega-macro-robustly. Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control monitoring and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not robust, virally-distributed, blog-based. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not interactive. AssCo practically invented the term "intra-user-centric performance". We will multiply our power to embrace without lessening our aptitude to mesh. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our capacity to transition. It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our models but our ability to strategize. Imagine a combination of XML and Java. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Think real-time. If you engineer strategically, you may have to extend virtually. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? The data hygiene factor is enterprise. At AssCo, we think we know how to iterate seamlessly. Think subscriber-defined. Think short-term. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor is virtual. What does the term "six-sigma, front-end research and development" really mean? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 R&D and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for affiliate-based content are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, C2C2C. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? What does the term "holistic, clicks-and-mortar CAD" really mean?