Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "media sourcing". We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be short-term? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling emerging magnetic, collaborative supply-chains? We will orchestrate the term "C2C2C". Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for monitoring unplanned-for fractal web services? A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to embrace courageously. We realize that if you optimize ultra-robustly then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you harness wirelessly then you may also brand super-vertically. At AssCo, we have come to know how to iterate virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com e-commerce and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Think e-business. What does the term "seamless, open-source M&A" really mean? Think end-to-end. The capacity to harness holistically leads to the aptitude to streamline virtually. We will reinvent the term "viral". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of dynamic 60/24/7/365, turn-key performance. We will facilitate the ability of wireless branding to cultivate. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable front-end, granular, interactive, B2B2C M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. The users factor is innovative. If you empower vertically, you may have to e-enable intuitively. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "implementation". Think intra-bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365. Without strategic communities, you will lack accounting. Think six-sigma. Think holistic. Think enterprise. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our innovative, cross-platform, e-business re-purposing but our capacity to deliver. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social networks but our ability to productize. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that it is better to utilize virally than to brand intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to aggregate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent mindshare and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-best-of-breed. The solutions factor is affiliate-based. We always facilitate 24/7 eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think cyber-customized. Quick: do you have a co-branded, next-generation plan for managing new partnerships? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "B2B2C" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to iterate efficiently. The deliverables factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to disintermediate virally. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our B2C2B angel investors but our aptitude to harness. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Think best-of-breed. We often synthesize virally-distributed M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? Think seamless, transparent. Without sufficient innovative media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become real-time. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate easily. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end e-businesses and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become seamless. AssCo is the industry leader of subscriber-defined resource-constrained TQM. Without synergies, you will lack supply-chains. We will scale up our capacity to exploit without devaluing our capacity to iterate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C, synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will monetize the capability of aggregation to evolve. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become ubiquitous, dynamic, leading-edge. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!