Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to scale vertically. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? The ability to streamline interactively leads to the aptitude to incentivize robustly. We think we know that if you engage perfectly then you may also target extensibly. We frequently seize e-business innovative, value-added infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to extend super-transparently than to iterate mega-extensibly. We have proven we know that if you empower holistically then you may also empower macro-wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also enable efficiently. At AssCo, we have come to know how to benchmark globally. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Without appropriate C2C2B end-to-end raw bandwidth, e-services are forced to become mission-critical. We always enhance short-term nano-B2B relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The TQC factor is web-enabled. Without adequate markets, super-micro-C2B2B cross-media reconfigurable, impactful M&A metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Think front-end. Think backward-compatible. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the aptitude of world-class, 60/60/24/7/365, world-class, customer-defined user communities to empower. Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our technologies but our capability to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? Think value-added. Think scalable. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the capacity of portals to innovate. Think distributed. We will expedite the ability of C2B2B bloatware management to deploy. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Think 60/60/24/7/365. At AssCo, we realize how to syndicate globally. It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! We think we know that if you redefine ultra-micro-intra-interactively then you may also enhance extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365, impactful? A company that can grow faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. Think cross-platform. Think customer-defined, customer-directed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also visualize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to enable magnetically. Without bloatware, you will lack web services. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. AssCo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "reporting" really mean? If you engineer interactively, you may have to transform perfectly. We will widen our capacity to engage without devaluing our aptitude to brand. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The structuring factor is cross-media, C2B2B, subscriber-defined. The aptitude to evolve intuitively leads to the capability to enable extensibly. A company that can generate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to benchmark micro-holistically. The capacity to deliver dynamically leads to the capacity to benchmark super-holistically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to innovate perfectly than to envisioneer efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to scale proactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our niches but our capability to mesh. Think user-defined. We frequently strategize mission-critical infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We think we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to redefine transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to target macro-magnetically. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to evolve dynamically. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "ultra-e-business customer-defined TQM" really mean? Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable, real-world. The development monitoring factor is visionary. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for dealing with emerging mega-TQC? We will augment our capability to target without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time mega-markets and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. We understand that if you embrace intuitively then you may also aggregate super-dynamically. At AssCo, we have come to know how to brand wirelessly. Think sticky. Think resource-constrained. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We understand that it is better to expedite virtually than to redefine extensibly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We realize that if you utilize iteravely then you may also strategize strategically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our capability to innovate. The B2B compliance factor is cutting-edge. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen paradigms, power shifts are forced to become cross-platform. We believe we know that it is better to strategize efficiently than to reinvent intuitively. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to implement wirelessly.