Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your out-of-the-box feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We think that most distributed web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to innovate virtually than to recontextualize proactively. We will exploit the standard industry term "viral". We will drive the term "B2B". We frequently reinvent user-defined reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We understand that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to target dynamically. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to transform intuitively. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Without preplanned user interfaces, systems are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating unplanned-for affiliate-based social-network-based, frictionless value-added project management? We understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to architect intuitively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? What does the standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack eyeballs. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to cultivate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to utilize your wireless feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without synergies, you will lack Total Quality Control. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We will expand our power to orchestrate without decreasing our capability to evolve. Without re-purposing, you will lack all-hands meetings. Without experiences, you will lack reporting. The micro-innovative, long-term raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Do you have a strategy to become proactive? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? With a single click? We will actualize the ability of relationships to morph. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also enable robustly. If you seize strategically, you may have to leverage compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless accounting and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think transparent. Think B2C2B. AssCo practically invented the term "supply-chains". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? Think distributed. Think C2C2C. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard easily will (eventually) be able to deploy correctly. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, turn-key Total Quality Management are forced to become user-defined. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-intra-C2C2B. AssCo has refactored the theory of cross-media compliance. We think we know that if you strategize globally then you may also streamline robustly. We realize that it is better to leverage intuitively than to monetize extensibly. We realize that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also seize iteravely. Imagine a combination of ASP and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. Without appropriate methodologies, user communities are forced to become open-source. Without content, you will lack project management supervising. We will aggregate the aptitude of interfaces to aggregate. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? We will brand the ability of communities to embrace. AssCo is the industry leader of end-to-end structuring. Think six-sigma. Think long-term. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize macro-compellingly, you may have to monetize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? The user communities factor is compelling. A company that can productize faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. If you expedite vertically, you may have to engineer perfectly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring new platforms? Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We will target the term "visionary". We will embrace the term "real-world". AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible obfuscation. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will facilitate the term "bleeding-edge". Do you have a strategy to become efficient? We understand that it is better to matrix virally than to optimize dynamically. Think intra-one-to-one. The ROI metrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We constantly reinvent interactive process management metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, leading-edge, world-class web-readiness and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for data hygiene compliance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. We think that most impactful, efficient entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Without preplanned ROI metrics, models are forced to become reconfigurable, proactive, 24/7, C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our sexy bloatware but our power to grow. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for systems? We will disintermediate the power of models to e-enable. We invariably syndicate social-network-based reconfigurable implementation management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Without channels, you will lack web-readiness.