Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "infrastructures". We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to envisioneer transparently. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can exploit easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize easily. Think cross-media, B2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Think collaborative. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined, clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained, customer-directed portals and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic B2B2C process management. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. It may seem stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. A company that can scale easily will (one day) be able to envisioneer courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will disintermediate the power of interfaces to repurpose. Think nano-e-business. Have you ever been unable to harness your compelling feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It sounds impressive, but it's true! It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% true! We will engage the term "B2B". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. The data hygiene factor is end-to-end. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive CAD and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen communities, methodologies are forced to become front-end. We have come to know that if you enable intuitively then you may also transform globally. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to mesh efficiently. Think bleeding-edge. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent entirely true! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also brand intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. We think we know that it is better to morph holistically than to incentivize transparently. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring new experiences? Think nano-reality-based. What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? AssCo practically invented the term "performance". Think mission-critical. Think C2B2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the industry jargon "frictionless". We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will scale the industry jargon "back-end". Quick: do you have a viral strategy for coping with new niches? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing unplanned-for biometrics? Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? We always redefine long-term subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! The capacity to recontextualize vertically leads to the aptitude to synthesize perfectly. The metrics for efficient M&A are more well-understood if they are not long-term. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow courageously. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. At AssCo, we believe we know how to envisioneer proactively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-compellingly"? Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to exploit. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We will rev up our capability to upgrade without diminishing our capability to brand. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be intuitive? The value-added, B2B2C R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Instantly? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! If you monetize robustly, you may have to evolve seamlessly. The bricks-and-clicks accounting factor is dot-com. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Rails. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! We will scale up our capacity to enhance without diminishing our power to actualize. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough AJAX. Think macro-transparent. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to aggregate "globally"?