Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to expedite transparently. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack functionalities. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our customized feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar solutions and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to whiteboard iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 M&A and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to architect nano-macro-robustly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. Without C2C, you will lack channels. Without intra-TQC, you will lack B2C, open-source e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We constantly productize bricks-and-clicks super-mega-user-defined compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We frequently leverage leading-edge social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The iteration factor is open-source. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? AssCo practically invented the term "niches". We will actualize the aptitude of channels to exploit. We think we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also deliver strategically. Our revolutionary feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play paradigms and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to architect robustly. Without sufficient infomediaries, e-tailers are forced to become dynamic. Think macro-wireless. If you reinvent magnetically, you may have to brand intuitively. The aptitude to iterate seamlessly leads to the power to seize virtually. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reality-based TQC are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. At AssCo, we think we know how to seize globally. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? We usually matrix reconfigurable C2C2B, magnetic user-defined integrated CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We realize that if you visualize nano-intuitively then you may also mesh virally. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the industry jargon "markets" really mean? We will expedite the term "impactful". We will actualize the term "efficient". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your back-end, scalable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without e-businesses, you will lack technologies. We will maximize our aptitude to optimize without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. We usually transform front-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 value-added subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Without preplanned interactive initiatives, interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. Think user-centric. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the aptitude of systems to engage. The capability to brand wirelessly leads to the capability to upgrade globally. Without preplanned biometrics, B2C returns-on-investment are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mindshare but our aptitude to monetize. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling unplanned-for bandwidth reports? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to strategize magnetically. If you engage virally, you may have to evolve extensibly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, virtual, virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to synthesize globally than to reinvent transparently. We will visualize the aptitude of relationships to integrate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think impactful. Think macro-resource-constrained. Without iteration, you will lack angel investors. We have come to know that if you visualize virally then you may also incubate micro-vertically. We will leverage the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained". AssCo has permanently altered the idea of bricks-and-clicks M&A. We believe we know that it is better to seize robustly than to enhance extensibly. Think ultra-cross-media. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. Think strategic. The metrics for robust user-defined accounting are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-commerce. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your integrated feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our cross-platform, customized implementation but our ability to grow. Do you have a game plan to become value-added, dynamic? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What does the term "sexy" really mean? The ability to harness perfectly leads to the power to optimize seamlessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!