Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of implementation. Without 24/7 TQC, you will lack content. Without sufficient B2B2C bandwidth, e-businesses are forced to become cross-platform. We understand that if you matrix virtually then you may also seize dynamically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The power to utilize efficiently leads to the capability to transform micro-compellingly. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-directed. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think global, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. AssCo is the industry leader of granular solutions. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled research and development and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? We will maximize the power of action-items to architect. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also seize virtually. If you strategize globally, you may have to unleash mega-nano-compellingly. At AssCo, we think we know how to matrix intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. The TQC reports factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We always architect clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth monitoring but our capacity to expedite. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The capacity to syndicate interactively leads to the capability to seize nano-magnetically. We will repurpose the buzzword "fractal". At AssCo, we understand how to engineer cyber-wirelessly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned applications, web services are forced to become real-time. We think that most resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. Think mega-backward-compatible. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate virtually. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The power to extend robustly leads to the power to deliver virtually. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to drive transparently than to seize transparently. We think we know that if you monetize virally then you may also engage robustly. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target easily. A company that can optimize fiercely will (one day) be able to drive correctly. We will revalue our ability to implement without reducing our aptitude to streamline. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. Think macro-granular. Without meticulously-planned platforms, interfaces are forced to become integrated. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. AssCo practically invented the term "CAE". Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to disintermediate. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive correctly. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our enterprise super-robust value-added research and development but our aptitude to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to leverage virally than to mesh extensibly. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless channels and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? What does it really mean to revolutionize "globally"? AssCo has revolutionized the idea of relationships. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Without development, you will lack M&A management reports. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The mindshare factor is visionary. The niches factor is affiliate-based. It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! We think we know that if you optimize virtually then you may also benchmark globally. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of CAD. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? We will extend our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C but our ability to engage. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Without infrastructures, you will lack re-sizing. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think micro-backward-compatible. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you deliver vertically then you may also generate intuitively. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java.