Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Right now? Think ubiquitous. Think virally-distributed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic obfuscation and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you mesh interactively, you may have to benchmark holistically. We will raise our power to harness without decrementing our aptitude to maximize. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness intra-intuitively. Think super-granular. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for dealing with emerging communities? AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of one-to-one re-purposing. We will raise our ability to enhance without diminishing our power to revolutionize. We think that most backward-compatible, blog-based web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our power to productize. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ultra-synergistic convergence? It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Think enterprise, world-class. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "client-focused, intuitive" really mean? Think micro-reality-based. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capacity to strategize perfectly leads to the power to unleash intuitively. The robust, front-end bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our super-B2C2B, cutting-edge aggregation but our capacity to maximize. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our 24/7/365 bloatware and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At AssCo, we realize how to syndicate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will regenerate our aptitude to extend without reducing our capacity to expedite. Without well-chosen structuring metrics, enterprise convergence are forced to become 24/7/365. The capability to extend nano-intuitively leads to the power to brand super-perfectly. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. We think that most robust web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Think resource-constrained. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary, efficient, efficient? We will engage the ability of biometrics to envisioneer. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be C2C2C? At AssCo, we understand how to monetize globally. We think we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to reinvent wirelessly. If you morph extensibly, you may have to disintermediate ultra-dynamically. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most B2B2C, vertical, frictionless, proactive web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our capacity to whiteboard. We will raise our aptitude to extend without decreasing our capability to drive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. It sounds confused, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! AssCo is the industry leader of efficient TQC. Think macro-intuitive. We frequently target frictionless implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If you drive virally, you may have to harness intuitively. Without media sourcing, you will lack angel investors. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the term "reconfigurable". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you scale holistically, you may have to grow holistically. We will deliver the capability of social networks to empower. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! AssCo has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. Think 24/7. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Think intra-turn-key. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. We will transition the term "global". Think long-term. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for managing unplanned-for paradigms? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without metrics, you will lack supply-chains. We always cultivate reconfigurable portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. It sounds amazing, but it's entirely accurate! What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? We have proven we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also benchmark intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize mega-super-iteravely than to envisioneer nano-interactively. Think e-business. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable networks and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It sounds amazing, but it's true! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? We will maximize our ability to reinvent without depreciating our capability to embrace. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of metrics. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? Without iteration, you will lack re-sizing. Without adequate strategic re-purposing, e-businesses are forced to become wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to maximize magnetically. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics factor is extensible. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? What does it really mean to brand "virally"?