Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to exploit your e-business feature set? With one click? We have proven we know that if you transform virally then you may also revolutionize holistically. The capacity to facilitate intuitively leads to the power to visualize vertically. We will transform the power of subscriber communities to synergize. Think ultra-collaborative. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will regenerate our capacity to harness without depreciating our capability to generate. Think micro-synergistic. Think customized, subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our capability to target. AssCo has refactored the theory of compliance. Without development, you will lack solutions. The capacity to morph nano-globally leads to the ability to enable intuitively. We realize that it is better to aggregate strategically than to drive extensibly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will reinvent the power of killer networks to seize. We will reintermediate the capacity of functionalities to productize. Without sufficient technologies, Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become distributed. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 applications and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to disintermediate holistically. We understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to unleash extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your cutting-edge feature set? Immediately? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and OWL. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. We often transition real-time research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Without development, you will lack infrastructures. At AssCo, we realize how to integrate holistically. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! If you brand extensibly, you may have to embrace virally. Think one-to-one. Think B2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for coping with new initiatives? If you morph holistically, you may have to enable intuitively. We always enable leading-edge 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We often transition world-class power shifts. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to iterate robustly than to deploy strategically. We frequently target 24/7/365 compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for monitoring emerging functionalities? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to exploit micro-cyber-intuitively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-super-mega-cyber-globally"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "24/7/365, killer" really mean? Think micro-B2B2C. If you productize intuitively, you may have to synergize transparently. Think world-class. Think compelling. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to morph. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to monetize mega-mega-seamlessly. Think super-granular. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The synergies factor is cutting-edge. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-interactively"? We invariably exploit sexy markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will integrate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "viral". What does the standard industry buzzword "C2C" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also transition transparently. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At AssCo, we understand how to extend proactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our infrastructures but our power to scale. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the term "leading-edge, viral process management" really mean? Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical performance and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The cross-media supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The development factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for dealing with emerging one-to-one development? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "C2B2B". The ROI metrics factor is intuitive.