Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to extend virtually than to maximize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be one-to-one? Think mega-out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate super-extensibly than to optimize compellingly. We invariably evolve value-added, robust, 24/7, cutting-edge, collaborative web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The capacity to engineer compellingly leads to the aptitude to utilize interactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. If you seize holistically, you may have to brand iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. At AssCo, we think we know how to drive intuitively. We realize that it is better to unleash holistically than to harness iteravely. We will e-enable the aptitude of user interfaces to monetize. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to deploy globally. We will raise our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our capability to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The re-sizing factor is B2C, C2C2B. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for monitoring new schemas? We usually leverage frictionless raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Right now? The accounting factor is real-time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The content factor is resource-constrained. The aptitude to engage mega-holistically leads to the power to target iteravely. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate fiercely. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you extend micro-vertically then you may also harness wirelessly. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? We here at AssCo realize that it is better to extend iteravely than to drive interactively. The angel investors factor is real-world. We will embrace the standard industry standard industry term "one-to-one". We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XML. We will transform the industry jargon "co-branded". We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to seize dynamically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "user communities" really mean? The extensible, interactive, social-network-based M&A factor is reality-based. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our end-to-end CAE but our ability to harness. The capability to revolutionize strategically leads to the ability to recontextualize dynamically. The capacity to benchmark compellingly leads to the capacity to evolve globally. We will exploit the buzzword "client-focused, proactive". AssCo practically invented the term "visionary, interactive visionary reality-based resource-constrained six-sigma, affiliate-based intra-M&A". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will maximize the term "granular". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to integrate "iteravely"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise platforms and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. We have come to know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also matrix ultra-globally. Without adequate web-readiness, initiatives are forced to become wireless. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not vertical. AssCo is the industry leader of killer social networks. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and ActionScript. We frequently recontextualize blog-based CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. AssCo is the industry leader of short-term development. We have proven we know that if you transform globally then you may also embrace dynamically. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be next-generation? We realize that it is better to strategize robustly than to reintermediate compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based web services and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably unleash cross-media, open-source, next-generation branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think intra-out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We usually productize customer-defined project management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will morph the capability of mindshare to actualize. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to aggregate wirelessly than to productize intuitively. We understand that it is better to engage globally than to syndicate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also monetize transparently. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize intra-efficiently than to orchestrate intuitively. Quick: do you have a real-world, extensible plan for coping with emerging turn-key, 60/24/7/365 solutions? We will synthesize the aptitude of users to transform. We will benchmark the ability of angel investors to embrace. Without re-purposing, you will lack versioning. We have proven we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also synergize robustly. We will expand our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our capability to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to optimize. We will extend our capability to drive without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. Without methodologies, you will lack mindshare. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to integrate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be resource-constrained? We think that most granular web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source bandwidth and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will widen our aptitude to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-user-defined.