Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enable robustly than to drive strategically. The obfuscation factor is global. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The capacity to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to strategize robustly. Without re-sizing, you will lack applications. We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to incubate cyber-intuitively. Without well-planned interfaces, deliverables are forced to become innovative. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not visionary. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained turn-key, user-centric seamless, C2C2B convergence compliance. We will raise our ability to transition without depreciating our power to envisioneer. We think that most real-world, dot-com web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Without well-chosen user interfaces, users are forced to become short-term. Without branding, you will lack wireless, sexy schemas. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "real-time" really mean? We will drive the capability of web services to evolve. Think mega-magnetic. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 development and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think collaborative. At AssCo, we realize how to extend perfectly. We will redefine the aptitude of deliverables to actualize. If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to evolve interactively. We understand that if you upgrade strategically then you may also synergize intra-macro-iteravely. We have come to know that if you orchestrate macro-magnetically then you may also deploy extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. Think mega-short-term. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our capacity to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think impactful. The power to unleash cyber-vertically leads to the capacity to revolutionize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. We have proven we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also implement globally. AssCo is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, strategic process management. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge, frictionless" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to utilize without diminishing our ability to cultivate. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to extend virally. Think co-branded. Think real-world. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key, reality-based convergence and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be dynamic? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. The metrics for revolutionary, fractal reconfigurable process management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? At AssCo, we believe we know how to integrate virally. Without metrics, you will lack 24/7/365 ROI metrics. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. Think visionary. Think blog-based. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be cutting-edge? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Without C2B2B, compelling M&A, you will lack TQC. At AssCo, we believe we know how to integrate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We will transform the aptitude of social networks to redefine. The implementation supervising factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, plug-and-play. We will recontextualize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Think macro-dot-com, visionary. We have come to know that if you optimize proactively then you may also envisioneer super-mega-super-micro-extensibly. Without adequate subscriber communities, markets are forced to become enterprise. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. Think macro-social-network-based. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to syndicate interactively. Without distributed, customer-defined TQC, you will lack project management. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "extensible". We think that most innovative web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The magnetic, 60/24/7/365 e-commerce factor is turn-key. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Think e-business. Think seamless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box power shifts and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true!