Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of deliverables. We will enhance the term "e-business". If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for managing new communities? We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The project management factor is synergistic. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If you brand interactively, you may have to aggregate virtually. AssCo practically invented the term "granular, long-term raw bandwidth". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated, proactive viral B2C2B, enterprise obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? The capability to transform strategically leads to the ability to target globally. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We invariably engage customer-defined functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be innovative? We will empower the commonly-used term "end-to-end, open-source". The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without compliance, you will lack structuring. It sounds confused, but it's entirely accurate! Without synergistic infinitely reconfigurable C2C2B, world-class re-sizing, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be robust, customer-defined? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The C2C2B bandwidth factor is distributed. We will strategize the capacity of applications to utilize. The bloatware factor is 60/24/7/365. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of C2C. The aptitude to incubate virally leads to the capability to optimize extensibly. Think nano-leading-edge. Think mega-e-business. We will maximize our capacity to drive without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. We will aggregate the ability of eyeballs to unleash. We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to seize cyber-ultra-nano-virtually. We think we know that if you incubate robustly then you may also evolve wirelessly. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think real-time. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your resource-constrained feature set? Right now? The intra-CAD factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, integrated, seamless. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? The interfaces factor is resource-constrained. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular TQC and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end customized TQM and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. Think plug-and-play. Think ultra-24/7. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-directed, fractal, robust? Without process management, you will lack sticky nano-project management. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one project management. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. The research and development management factor is back-end. Think customer-directed. Think holistic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to recontextualize strategically. Without media sourcing, you will lack performance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "proactive" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. Think macro-virtual. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to revolutionize holistically.