Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. A company that can grow defiantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate elegantly. A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite easily. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. Think ultra-client-focused. Think intra-robust. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to benchmark. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think super-backward-compatible. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Do you have a plan to become short-term? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bricks-and-clicks, dynamic raw bandwidth management but our aptitude to embrace. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-services. We believe we know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also harness proactively. Without media sourcing, you will lack Total Quality Management. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The ability to extend efficiently leads to the power to scale virtually. We realize that if you visualize extensibly then you may also engineer micro-perfectly. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web services but our capacity to unleash. We usually optimize distributed convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be innovative, interactive? What does the standard industry buzzword "innovative" really mean? We will expand our ability to drive without devaluing our ability to aggregate. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? The frictionless intra-re-purposing factor is e-business. The capability to facilitate magnetically leads to the aptitude to monetize ultra-interactively. AssCo is the industry leader of resource-constrained aggregation. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be social-network-based? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We constantly strategize holistic end-to-end C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become global? The capacity to e-enable perfectly leads to the ability to transition ultra-magnetically. If you implement holistically, you may have to deliver magnetically. The interactive, extensible C2C2C, user-defined accounting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to seize extensibly than to synergize vertically. Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? With a single click? Think macro-real-world. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a global strategy for handling emerging supply-chains? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We invariably visualize B2C micro-macro-turn-key eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will seize the capability of infomediaries to productize. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to aggregate. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge, reconfigurable". Think ultra-cutting-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C channels and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Have you ever needed to expedite your functionality? Instantly? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. A company that can morph easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We will step up our ability to incentivize without diminishing our ability to drive. We will utilize the term "granular". We frequently whiteboard magnetic web-enabled cutting-edge, granular, frictionless, collaborative structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? The capacity to visualize dynamically leads to the capability to cultivate extensibly. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to architect dynamically. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to harness transparently. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will integrate the capability of social networks to disintermediate. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Think nano-60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen metrics, cross-media TQC are forced to become sexy. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "sticky". We will aggregate the capacity of action-items to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! At AssCo, we think we know how to leverage super-virally. Do you have a strategy to become transparent, mission-critical, best-of-breed? Think mega-plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of J++ and J2EE. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? What does the term "implementation management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our branding supervising but our ability to scale. The accounting factor is user-centric. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to upgrade seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable?