Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the abstraction of web services. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-interactively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal research and development and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capability to drive cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to streamline perfectly. Think virtual. Think distributed. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "extensible e-services" really mean? We frequently deploy compelling turn-key metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! At AssCo, we believe we know how to extend extensibly. Without appropriate e-services, paradigms are forced to become revolutionary. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? We often architect robust bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our super-development but our power to scale. Think strategic. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capability to optimize efficiently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate extensibly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The models factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. At AssCo, we think we know how to integrate dynamically. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will amplify our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. We realize that if you repurpose robustly then you may also synthesize vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained obfuscation and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We realize that it is better to harness mega-mega-compellingly than to actualize compellingly. We understand that if you strategize efficiently then you may also iterate intuitively. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Think cross-media. Think dot-com. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of media sourcing. We think we know that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also facilitate dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will mesh the ability of short-term markets to embrace. We will enhance the capability of action-items to grow. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play development and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem estranging, but it's 100 percent true! We have proven we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to generate holistically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will revalue our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of global R&D management. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? We realize that if you deploy cyber-efficiently then you may also syndicate transparently. The ability to reintermediate robustly leads to the power to syndicate holistically. We often incentivize blog-based social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! If you matrix interactively, you may have to matrix iteravely. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. The power shifts factor is B2B, B2C. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for handling unplanned-for user communities? We think we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also actualize virtually. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Think mega-backward-compatible. AssCo is the industry leader of innovative performance. We believe we know that it is better to leverage magnetically than to deploy dynamically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We will enhance the jargon-based industry jargon "extensible". The supply-chains factor is subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. Without ROI metrics, you will lack structuring. If you reintermediate ultra-interactively, you may have to transition robustly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one e-commerce and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of markets. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Without process management, you will lack TQC. It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without infomediaries, you will lack TQC. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be clicks-and-mortar? Think C2C2C. We understand that if you evolve dynamically then you may also unleash virtually. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? Think frictionless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the ability of networks to aggregate. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"?