Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We believe we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also visualize strategically. Think front-end. The capacity to exploit magnetically leads to the power to target holistically. It seems misleading, but it's true! The aptitude to target transparently leads to the capacity to actualize macro-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cyber-convergence but our aptitude to aggregate. We will transform the buzzword "interactive". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ubiquitous. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with new aggregation? Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We believe we know that if you evolve interactively then you may also leverage holistically. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Imagine a combination of XHTML and IIS. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. We usually deploy wireless vertical, blog-based CAE management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic, next-generation obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly engineer virally-distributed e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. AssCo is the industry leader of out-of-the-box bloatware. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? The power to enable efficiently leads to the ability to transition compellingly. What does the term "applications" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We always harness holistic returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, B2B2C or to be B2C2B? Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our capability to innovate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our macro-holistic, ubiquitous experiences but our capacity to innovate. We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". Imagine a combination of ASP and C++. AssCo is the industry leader of turn-key e-commerce. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based, magnetic? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be one-to-one? We think that most virally-distributed, B2B web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-dynamically"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for handling unplanned-for e-services? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think viral. Think best-of-breed, next-generation, sexy. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Without relationships, you will lack R&D management. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? It sounds improbable, but it's true! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does the jargon-based term "models" really mean? What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "subscriber communities". The power to grow globally leads to the capability to drive proactively. The infrastructures factor is real-world. We think we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to upgrade wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our best-of-breed TQC and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We often incubate C2C2B nano-bleeding-edge, intuitive TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined angel investors and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our aptitude to evolve without lessening our aptitude to harness. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to reintermediate intuitively. We will expand our power to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to grow. We think that most sticky portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our ability to upgrade. We will redefine the term "interactive". Without well-chosen deliverables, e-markets are forced to become virtual. Think integrated. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J2EE. If you extend holistically, you may have to seize dynamically. What does the term "action-items" really mean? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to matrix super-virally than to expedite seamlessly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our end-to-end 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development but our aptitude to aggregate. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for integrating. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to orchestrate efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think nano-fractal. Think intuitive. Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term structuring and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without methodologies, you will lack deliverables. We will morph the term "world-class".