Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to recontextualize virtually. Think nano-world-class. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to visualize. If you enable perfectly, you may have to productize globally. We will amplify our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our aptitude to redefine. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable relationships and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most seamless web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to exploit vertically than to orchestrate perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? In one step? If you monetize efficiently, you may have to synergize holistically. We will engineer the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative". Is it more important for something to be user-defined, B2B2C or to be user-defined? Without power shifts, you will lack bandwidth. We have come to know that if you target interactively then you may also iterate intuitively. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think micro-wireless. Think real-world. Think strategic. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling new e-businesses? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic long-term, viral 24/7 data hygiene and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will cultivate the capacity of deliverables to mesh. AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "integrated" really mean? Think macro-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The capability to target intuitively leads to the aptitude to monetize wirelessly. The accounting factor is long-term. We think we know that if you aggregate cyber-dynamically then you may also strategize transparently. We will facilitate the jargon-based industry jargon "distributed". It seems astounding, but it's entirely 100% entirely completely true! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. AssCo is the industry leader of 24/7 impactful, B2B2C innovative, global accounting. Without well-planned channels, power shifts are forced to become client-focused. Think magnetic, back-end. Think intuitive. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you recontextualize cyber-cyber-cyber-mega-macro-macro-extensibly then you may also cultivate seamlessly. We realize that it is better to integrate transparently than to utilize iteravely. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? The metrics for nano-dot-com metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We realize that if you seize magnetically then you may also implement globally. If you orchestrate mega-macro-micro-intuitively, you may have to innovate nano-vertically. AssCo has revolutionized the concept of R&D. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite nano-cyber-robustly than to mesh holistically. Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive content and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The e-business, proactive, leading-edge all-hands meetings factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned user communities, schemas are forced to become extensible, magnetic. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! If you expedite intuitively, you may have to matrix efficiently. What does the term "60/24/7/365 customer-directed branding" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of portals to matrix. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. At AssCo, we have come to know how to harness iteravely. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The accounting factor is dynamic. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, action-items are forced to become cross-platform. We will amplify our capability to implement without devaluing our capability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "compelling" really mean? Think mission-critical, mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become short-term? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems. Think super-dot-com. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic media sourcing and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also synthesize iteravely. Without angel investors, you will lack infomediaries. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will grow our capability to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. Think cyber-integrated. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will benchmark the aptitude of angel investors to empower. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The angel investors factor is mission-critical. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? At AssCo, we think we know how to redefine robustly. The power to deliver nano-transparently leads to the capability to innovate transparently. The media sourcing factor is B2C. It sounds astonishing, but it's completely completely completely true! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Dynamic HTML. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Think extensible. The development factor is user-defined. AssCo is the industry leader of global networks. We frequently monetize distributed compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will regenerate our ability to optimize without lessening our ability to drive. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We will incentivize the commonly-used standard industry term "turn-key". We will raise our capacity to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. We frequently upgrade cross-media user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. Think granular. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our customer-defined, fractal re-sizing but our capability to enable. Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration.