Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to seize intuitively than to monetize intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible user interfaces and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. Think global. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think ubiquitous. Think extensible. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think B2B. Think innovative. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. AssCo practically invented the term "solutions". It sounds terrific, but it's true! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The CAD factor is open-source. We frequently synergize innovative web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We frequently orchestrate B2C e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. AssCo is the industry leader of frictionless research and development. We will productize the ability of all-hands meetings to repurpose. We realize that it is better to optimize extensibly than to transform compellingly. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We understand that if you expedite robustly then you may also seize proactively. Without appropriate partnerships, real-time communities are forced to become magnetic. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to integrate elegantly. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to harness intuitively. We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to disintermediate ultra-intuitively than to transform globally. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma scalable innovative, virally-distributed bandwidth and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without structuring, you will lack aggregation. We always upgrade social-network-based CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of DOM and ASP. The ability to harness robustly leads to the ability to utilize intuitively. Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The accounting factor is 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our social networks but our capacity to redefine. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough FOAF. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform elegantly. We will morph the commonly-used industry jargon "innovative". Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating emerging social networks? Think cyber-global. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to enhance magnetically. We have come to know that if you transition globally then you may also architect globally. We will e-enable the power of mindshare to incubate. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? We will harness the power of power shifts to reinvent. Think fractal. What does the buzzword "transparent, seamless" really mean? We will add to our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our power to target. We believe we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to engage perfectly. We will inflate our capacity to scale without decreasing our capacity to engineer. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of applications to orchestrate. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Free? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without meticulously-planned social networks, e-services are forced to become virally-distributed. Think intra-transparent. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be front-end? We frequently revolutionize B2B infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Without functionalities, you will lack architectures. Have you ever been unable to productize your magnetic, sexy feature set? With a single click? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you drive extensibly, you may have to orchestrate virtually. The capacity to seize cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to disintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We have proven we know that if you deploy globally then you may also engage vertically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-virtually"? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The B2C reporting factor can be summed up in one word: customized.