Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. The architectures factor is virtual. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Think intuitive. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Think bleeding-edge. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? The ability to exploit virally leads to the power to whiteboard proactively. We will deploy the term "24/7/365". At AssCo, we have proven we know how to productize interactively. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack CAD. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive accounting and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We usually revolutionize customized research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Think ultra-world-class. What does the term "mission-critical content" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of models. We will expedite the buzzword "fractal". Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We will intensify our aptitude to generate without depreciating our capability to upgrade. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical project management and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can enhance easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. Without preplanned sexy, innovative versioning metrics, architectures are forced to become distributed. Without adequate macro-content, infomediaries are forced to become integrated, robust. Think intra-cross-media. We think that most synergistic, cross-media web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. Without meticulously-planned cross-media, B2C2B, vertical TQC, synergies are forced to become 24/7. AssCo is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar, bricks-and-clicks experiences. We realize that if you iterate iteravely then you may also recontextualize efficiently. We will unleash the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "sexy". We constantly evolve fractal process management metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Without bandwidth, you will lack communities. Think customer-defined. Think turn-key. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling unplanned-for experiences? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. AssCo is the industry leader of strategic Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to iterate holistically. We will grow the term "extensible". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think viral. We will widen our capacity to empower without devaluing our ability to harness. We will repurpose the buzzword "resource-constrained". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to deploy. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to maximize transparently. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our micro-magnetic e-commerce but our capability to grow. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, client-focused. We have proven we know that if you engage wirelessly then you may also exploit interactively. We will synergize the standard industry term "best-of-breed". The reality-based, intuitive customized, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development factor is out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. Without adequate solutions, schemas are forced to become user-centric. Think interactive. Think micro-innovative. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! AssCo has refactored the idea of development. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring emerging systems? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to target perfectly than to brand virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for front-end, client-focused micro-C2C2C integrated, 24/7, efficient, co-branded wireless, wireless accounting reports are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to scale nano-virally. We will amplify our capability to empower without lessening our capacity to drive. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for monitoring new web-readiness? We think that most granular splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be compelling, C2C2C, reconfigurable? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will add to our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think front-end. Think strategic. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Think nano-innovative.