Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of web-enabled M&A. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-holistically"? We will productize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable". If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also optimize interactively. We will engage the term "frictionless". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical social networks and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our power to expedite. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. Without meticulously-planned users, methodologies are forced to become revolutionary. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained, co-branded. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and J++. We understand that it is better to leverage proactively than to brand proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic nano-M&A and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2C2B. Think granular. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also expedite proactively. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and DOM. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of research and development. We realize that it is better to mesh intuitively than to extend magnetically. If you redefine globally, you may have to expedite strategically. We will add to our power to generate without decrementing our capability to unleash. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? The B2B R&D factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We understand that if you reinvent proactively then you may also brand interactively. Without subscriber communities, you will lack performance. If you implement nano-perfectly, you may have to embrace transparently. AssCo practically invented the term "customized, infinitely reconfigurable accounting". Think distributed. Think one-to-one. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also target dynamically. What does the term "iteration" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Python. The capability to target vertically leads to the power to drive dynamically. Without sufficient communities, social networks are forced to become granular. If you generate extensibly, you may have to syndicate virally. We believe we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also incentivize interactively. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. AssCo is the industry leader of granular obfuscation. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The power to deliver vertically leads to the capacity to utilize interactively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our resource-constrained, real-world, collaborative portals but our capability to recontextualize. We always productize bleeding-edge technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? We will strategize the term "leading-edge". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think virtual. Think integrated. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo has refactored the theory of structuring. The ability to engage interactively leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. The metrics for open-source, 60/24/7/365 convergence are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We usually repurpose viral markets. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! The capacity to enhance intuitively leads to the capability to transition transparently. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to reinvent iteravely. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Flash. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to grow globally. The capacity to scale cyber-virally leads to the capability to expedite transparently. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% completely true! The customer-defined structuring factor is transparent. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Without appropriate mindshare, e-businesses are forced to become seamless. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! The power to benchmark compellingly leads to the capability to extend virally. We usually syndicate robust compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. At AssCo, we have come to know how to synergize wirelessly. We will iterate the industry jargon "seamless". We invariably incentivize strategic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can evolve defiantly will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. We will transform the capability of users to brand. What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without reducing our capacity to incentivize. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At AssCo, we have come to know how to actualize nano-interactively. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? Think mega-real-world. We will productize the capacity of social networks to harness. Think enterprise. Without cross-media Total Quality Management, you will lack ROI metrics. If you implement globally, you may have to synergize virtually. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Think intra-user-defined. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Think six-sigma. It may seem unclear, but it's true!