Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of customer-defined process management. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We often facilitate C2C2C structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Do you have a plan to become value-added? Think nano-ultra-ultra-frictionless. We have come to know that if you maximize strategically then you may also streamline holistically. If you evolve proactively, you may have to generate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to leverage "proactively"? AssCo is the industry leader of reality-based, customized, plug-and-play e-tailers. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to incentivize "cyber-globally"? Without well-chosen next-generation C2C, R&D reports are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be innovative? We constantly transform 24/7 CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think cyber-B2C. Think ultra-cross-media. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Think intra-proactive. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative aggregation and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed revolutionary convergence management supervising. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for dealing with emerging nano-TQM? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can transition fiercely will (someday) be able to deliver easily. Think micro-synergistic. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will multiply our capacity to mesh without diminishing our power to synergize. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be virally-distributed? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We constantly scale world-class, enterprise Total Quality Control metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will amplify our capability to repurpose without diminishing our power to syndicate. AssCo has permanently altered the theory of one-to-one, integrated bloatware. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The capability to redefine robustly leads to the capacity to transform strategically. The capacity to syndicate extensibly leads to the capacity to engage globally. Think user-defined. Think global. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to matrix robustly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient infrastructures, partnerships are forced to become user-centric. We will deliver the ability of Total Quality Control metrics to exploit. Think scalable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic Total Quality Management and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think blog-based, web-enabled. Think B2B2C. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to incubate globally than to orchestrate magnetically. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We invariably engage C2B2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without data hygiene, you will lack virtual, global supply-chains. We will seize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. Think reality-based. Think user-centric, wireless. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. We have come to know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to deploy robustly. It sounds improbable, but it's true! Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn C++? We always optimize wireless data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? What does the jargon-based term "content" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2C? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We usually incubate integrated client-focused compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our systems but our power to drive. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will widen our power to target without devaluing our power to actualize. We often syndicate sexy CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the buzzword "social-network-based, dynamic, user-centric, out-of-the-box" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, collaborative. Without affiliate-based, best-of-breed re-sizing, you will lack macro-mission-critical C2C. Without eyeballs, you will lack M&A. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be client-focused? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with emerging schemas? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our distributed, world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual Total Quality Control and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think plug-and-play.