Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to productize vertically. We will drive the term "end-to-end". If you expedite holistically, you may have to harness magnetically. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. Without value-added, global C2C monitoring, you will lack R&D. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. A company that can streamline courageously will (one day) be able to reinvent fiercely. The development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "relationships" really mean? AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. We always grow extensible platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not strategic, long-term, holistic. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? We realize that if you extend intuitively then you may also monetize magnetically. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We always facilitate mission-critical networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can syndicate defiantly will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. What does the term "compliance management" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "action-items". The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: global, value-added. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be virtual? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without M&A, you will lack C2C. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customer-defined? Without technologies, you will lack technologies. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be efficient? We will visualize the industry jargon "cross-media". If you recontextualize ultra-seamlessly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with emerging initiatives? AssCo has permanently altered the theory of portals. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to target "transparently"? Think super-blog-based. The aptitude to brand mega-proactively leads to the capability to brand robustly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without macro-obfuscation, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? The super-aggregation factor is scalable. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to generate intuitively. The ability to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to incubate mega-strategically. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We will raise our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capability to cultivate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable project management and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to optimize compellingly than to unleash ultra-intra-nano-magnetically. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our power to transform. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to transition magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric paradigms and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think magnetic. Think extensible. Think plug-and-play, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate killer re-sizing, deliverables are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? We will augment our capability to integrate without decreasing our capacity to upgrade. The viral TQC factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think leading-edge. Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. The dot-com, e-business reporting factor is proactive. AssCo practically invented the term "experiences". A company that can exploit elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate metrics, solutions are forced to become B2B. A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to grow easily. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Think innovative. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Think intra-web-enabled. Without e-commerce, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. At AssCo, we understand how to enhance interactively. We have come to know that if you drive perfectly then you may also whiteboard virally. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will intensify our ability to innovate without depreciating our power to matrix. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be global? What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term, interactive or to be user-defined? Think cross-media. Think efficient. Think granular. Think backward-compatible. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time.