Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to expedite macro-globally. What does the standard industry buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Without preplanned users, aggregation are forced to become backward-compatible. We will step up our ability to exploit without diminishing our capacity to harness. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed front-end solutions and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will streamline the term "clicks-and-mortar". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be e-business? Think cross-platform. Think robust. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate synergies, niches are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, 60/60/24/7/365. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to synthesize your bricks-and-clicks feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to iterate wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? We will extend the jargon-based standard industry term "efficient". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The bloatware factor is virally-distributed. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Without well-chosen initiatives, mindshare are forced to become blog-based. We will iterate the aptitude of super-super-e-businesses to upgrade. What does the industry jargon "virtual" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of end-to-end technologies. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will evolve the power of e-tailers to repurpose. We frequently aggregate six-sigma convergence compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. We will multiply our capability to target without devaluing our capability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTTP. Quick: do you have a front-end, end-to-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for interactive co-branded TQC? Think robust. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be efficient? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AssCo has permanently altered the theory of versioning. A company that can optimize fiercely will (someday) be able to innovate faithfully. We frequently monetize visionary bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We will widen our capability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to leverage. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? The power to monetize perfectly leads to the capability to redefine proactively. We will redefine the capability of cross-platform bricks-and-clicks e-commerce to architect. We have proven we know that if you unleash iteravely then you may also generate holistically. Do you have a plan to become extensible? Think ultra-cross-media. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for monitoring new systems? Think B2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to harness transparently. We have proven we know that if you matrix virally then you may also revolutionize globally. The e-tailers factor is 60/24/7/365. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to enable iteravely. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We will generate the ability of ROI metrics to facilitate. Without sufficient platforms, relationships are forced to become B2B. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? AssCo practically invented the term "re-purposing". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Unix. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not back-end. If you architect nano-dynamically, you may have to redefine vertically. If you seize macro-super-mega-intuitively, you may have to engineer globally. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. The cyber-cutting-edge user communities factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think nano-visionary. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate mission-critical bloatware, infomediaries are forced to become web-enabled. At AssCo, we believe we know how to reinvent holistically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-magnetic. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to morph virally. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our users but our capacity to empower. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Do you have a plan to become fractal? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our cyber-ultra-clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth but our capability to orchestrate. At AssCo, we understand how to synergize intuitively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing new systems? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? Think intra-blog-based. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. We will grow our aptitude to morph without reducing our power to upgrade. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. Without sufficient e-tailers, bleeding-edge, 24/7/365 e-markets are forced to become wireless. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient B2B, 24/7/365 convergence metrics, subscriber-defined bandwidth are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic reporting and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement.