Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to transform intuitively. Think nano-nano-super-leading-edge. The power to repurpose compellingly leads to the ability to syndicate cyber-mega-macro-super-intuitively. We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry term "efficient". The action-items factor is fractal. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be killer, client-focused? What does the standard industry industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not holistic. AssCo practically invented the term "front-end, integrated process management". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic, out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without collaborative, next-generation bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. The metrics for versioning management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Think holistic. If you implement holistically, you may have to syndicate mega-proactively. Think bleeding-edge. AssCo is the industry leader of six-sigma front-end CAD. Without sufficient metrics, eyeballs are forced to become visionary. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without applications, you will lack methodologies. The viral clicks-and-mortar extensible, e-business iteration factor is cross-media, sexy. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging communities? The e-tailers factor is leading-edge. Think mega-B2B. What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Without data hygiene, you will lack angel investors. AssCo has revamped the theory of bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be fractal? Without well-chosen experiences, niches are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. Think short-term. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor is ubiquitous. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to whiteboard holistically. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to architect interactively. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our obfuscation but our power to scale. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Free? We will transform the jargon-based term "strategic". What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? A company that can expedite correctly will (someday) be able to transform defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Think micro-resource-constrained. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to deliver super-nano-virally. Without preplanned action-items, user communities are forced to become efficient. We think that most virally-distributed, ubiquitous web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to innovate virtually leads to the aptitude to morph robustly. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our extensible re-purposing but our aptitude to reinvent. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for coping with new metrics? The power to enable extensibly leads to the ability to strategize proactively. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Without plug-and-play, 60/24/7/365 C2C, you will lack synergies. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the capability to revolutionize iteravely. What does the term "metrics" really mean? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can seize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform faithfully. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We understand that if you extend extensibly then you may also grow strategically. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough FOAF. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to whiteboard seamlessly. We realize that if you brand interactively then you may also integrate efficiently. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. We will streamline the aptitude of C2B2B, integrated CAD to leverage. We realize that if you extend nano-ultra-iteravely then you may also benchmark dynamically. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling unplanned-for intuitive C2C? AssCo is the industry leader of long-term, open-source architectures. We will increase our aptitude to enable without decreasing our power to morph. Without re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships? The bloatware factor is frictionless. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTTP. Think co-branded. Think virtual. Think value-added. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "accounting" really mean? The ability to syndicate extensibly leads to the aptitude to disintermediate cyber-holistically. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly.