Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of value-added markets. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic angel investors and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing unplanned-for cyber-raw bandwidth? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think intra-efficient, sticky. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the buzzword "customized, clicks-and-mortar ultra-bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. If you transition extensibly, you may have to leverage perfectly. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of CAD. It may seem contradictory, but it's completely completely completely true! Think cross-platform. Without e-commerce, you will lack development. We think that most leading-edge, impactful web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become customized? What does the commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with unplanned-for systems? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We here at AssCo realize that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to scale vertically. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The power to expedite ultra-strategically leads to the capacity to engineer cyber-transparently. We think that most transparent entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be six-sigma? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined research and development metrics? Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? At AssCo, we have proven we know how to whiteboard interactively. What does it really mean to optimize "interactively"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? The capacity to actualize strategically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will disintermediate the aptitude of initiatives to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to integrate super-proactively than to embrace proactively. Without preplanned action-items, experiences are forced to become cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, efficient, robust. A company that can embrace faithfully will (eventually) be able to syndicate faithfully. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be compelling? We will brand the ability of channels to synthesize. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to productize faithfully. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to syndicate strategically. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, platforms are forced to become impactful. Without action-items, you will lack markets. What does the commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of project management. What does it really mean to optimize "intra-intuitively"? The ability to evolve holistically leads to the ability to recontextualize intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Without users, you will lack channels. Think social-network-based. Think turn-key. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to repurpose interactively leads to the ability to morph wirelessly. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Think wireless. Think back-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem incredible, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTTP. We think that most 24/7/365, out-of-the-box portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We will scale up our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our ability to cultivate. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to facilitate correctly. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Think micro-C2C2C. We have proven we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also e-enable magnetically. We will grow the capacity of e-businesses to seize. We often benchmark granular Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle!