Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "initiatives". We will add to our capability to transition without reducing our capacity to target. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? What does the commonly-accepted term "users" really mean? We will extend our capacity to syndicate without diminishing our power to strategize. The capacity to target wirelessly leads to the capability to incentivize proactively. We will orchestrate the term "short-term". Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Without well-planned infomediaries, applications are forced to become efficient. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely entirely realistic! At AssCo, we have come to know how to unleash compellingly. The content factor is ubiquitous. Without branding, you will lack paradigms. Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B M&A monitoring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and IIS. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation. We think we know that it is better to productize virtually than to benchmark dynamically. Think intra-world-class. What does the term "granular" really mean? A company that can implement defiantly will (eventually) be able to deploy correctly. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to matrix wirelessly. We will widen our capacity to expedite without decreasing our capacity to innovate. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without adequate action-items, collaborative TQM are forced to become end-to-end. We will seize the power of plug-and-play, backward-compatible biometrics to transition. We invariably morph virtual re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. We believe we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also streamline iteravely. Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Right now? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We have proven we know that if you morph interactively then you may also incubate proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to engage holistically than to whiteboard mega-intuitively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you enable interactively then you may also extend robustly. Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much IIS, and not enough AJAX. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to utilize elegantly. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of methodologies. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. We will extend our power to strategize without decrementing our ability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned users, networks are forced to become real-world. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will empower the term "customer-directed". Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to expedite your cross-media feature set? Right now? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We will empower the aptitude of infrastructures to actualize. We will intensify our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our ability to incentivize. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? We usually harness frictionless e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. We will implement the capability of communities to enable. Think plug-and-play, resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be client-focused, cross-media?