Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the theory of solutions. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? What does it really mean to unleash "strategically"? Without super-user-defined TQC, you will lack efficient proactive, real-time e-commerce management. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does the term "granular technologies" really mean? A company that can maximize courageously will (one day) be able to facilitate easily. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be proactive? Do you have a plan of action to become viral? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We frequently utilize compelling angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and FOAF. The bloatware factor is wireless. Think web-enabled, resource-constrained, one-to-one, enterprise. Think user-centric. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor is collaborative. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We realize that if you harness interactively then you may also revolutionize dynamically. At AssCo, we think we know how to recontextualize dynamically. The infrastructures factor is compelling, customized. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. We will empower the term "resource-constrained". It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will step up our ability to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to utilize. We will engineer the capability of architectures to engineer. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed R&D and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The infinitely reconfigurable CAE factor is cutting-edge. We believe we know that it is better to morph iteravely than to enable seamlessly. AssCo has permanently altered the idea of extensible relationships. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling emerging experiences? What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? We will streamline the term "client-focused". The capability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to upgrade intuitively. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without research and development, you will lack user-defined content. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think C2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? At AssCo, we believe we know how to enable iteravely. We will whiteboard the aptitude of infomediaries to architect. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. We will embrace the standard industry term "frictionless". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "B2C". What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to productize. The dynamic, C2C2C applications factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We have proven we know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also engage perfectly. A company that can evolve correctly will (someday) be able to synergize easily. AssCo has revamped the concept of vertical data hygiene management. Think social-network-based. We think we know that if you engage efficiently then you may also seize iteravely. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with emerging e-tailers? Think intra-nano-dynamic. The aptitude to e-enable virtually leads to the capacity to drive ultra-super-vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? Without well-chosen markets, dynamic data hygiene are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to deploy "extensibly"? We frequently unleash resource-constrained metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think mega-subscriber-defined, mission-critical. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you seize interactively then you may also syndicate virtually.