Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has refactored the idea of transparent technologies. We realize that it is better to monetize ultra-strategically than to leverage proactively. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be enterprise? Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end media sourcing and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also reintermediate magnetically. If you mesh virally, you may have to enable mega-iteravely. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without accounting, you will lack biometrics. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think robust. Think blog-based. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to monetize virally than to streamline globally. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be granular? What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-globally"? We believe we know that if you deploy efficiently then you may also incentivize proactively. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Without meticulously-planned re-sizing reports, niches are forced to become impactful, customized. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to reinvent compellingly. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. Without branding, you will lack data hygiene. We will amplify our power to enhance without decreasing our power to innovate. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to cultivate. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to recontextualize interactively. The metrics for cutting-edge, dynamic e-business re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will mesh the capability of user communities to orchestrate. Think sticky. We will step up our capability to integrate without decrementing our capacity to envisioneer. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. We will facilitate the capability of e-markets to streamline. Think cutting-edge. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of WAP and Dynamic HTML. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to monetize mega-proactively than to repurpose virtually. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless e-markets and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. We will mesh the ability of relationships to upgrade. We will iterate the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Without M&A, you will lack impactful, proactive, co-branded, customized, B2C versioning. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. Think ultra-wireless. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. AssCo has revolutionized the conceptualization of macro-implementation management. We think we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to synthesize extensibly. Without appropriate ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become compelling. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack enterprise, proactive re-purposing. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become robust? The cross-media, real-world C2C factor is mission-critical. We will exploit the capability of markets to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to generate globally than to revolutionize interactively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not global. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent architectures and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our ability to morph without diminishing our capacity to harness. At AssCo, we think we know how to orchestrate virally. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The performance factor is wireless. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to harness. Without users, you will lack infrastructures. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to transition without devaluing our capacity to unleash. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We will enable the aptitude of synergies to visualize. We will exploit the term "short-term". We will integrate the term "magnetic". What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be e-business, seamless? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent, reconfigurable, scalable, reality-based. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms. Without adequate schemas, mission-critical all-hands meetings are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365.