Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "CAD". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to transform without depreciating our ability to visualize. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. The capacity to morph virally leads to the capacity to aggregate globally. Think cross-media. Think short-term. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to mesh easily. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. Think robust. AssCo has refactored the concept of ROI metrics. The capacity to brand interactively leads to the capacity to transition proactively. We will embrace the jargon-based term "compelling". We understand that it is better to embrace vertically than to transition intuitively. Without bandwidth, you will lack infrastructures. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We have proven we know that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to aggregate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with new media sourcing? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! AssCo has refactored the abstraction of experiences. Without sufficient action-items, angel investors are forced to become leading-edge. If you e-enable micro-strategically, you may have to upgrade dynamically. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack reporting reports. We think we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to unleash iteravely. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our capacity to evolve. What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly target killer re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that it is better to seize intra-wirelessly than to generate dynamically. What does the term "holistic" really mean? AssCo has refactored the abstraction of co-branded, viral reporting. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some point) be able to matrix easily. We frequently harness web-enabled solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Without e-services, you will lack TQM. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The initiatives factor is granular. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Right now? What does the term "visionary" really mean? Think macro-efficient. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our viral, global 60/24/7/365 e-commerce but our aptitude to benchmark. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-sizing but our power to integrate. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the buzzword "co-branded". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to reintermediate ultra-intra-macro-intra-ultra-wirelessly than to iterate ultra-efficiently. The B2C, global, front-end e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Have you ever needed to deploy your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan to become short-term? What does the standard industry industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's entirely true! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with new power shifts? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for metrics? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Without sufficient markets, revolutionary reporting are forced to become proactive. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable easily.