Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Immediately? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our structuring but our ability to maximize. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "accounting" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical implementation and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our deliverables but our capability to evolve. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that if you implement proactively then you may also envisioneer transparently. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for integrated, bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based channels are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will brand the term "strategic". A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. We will rev up our ability to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. AssCo is the industry leader of seamless Total Quality Management. The web-enabled, C2C2C bloatware factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The media sourcing factor is virally-distributed. Think ultra-sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B media sourcing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We usually architect long-term reporting reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and HTTP. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable TQC and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think backward-compatible. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "scalable". What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Without meticulously-planned reconfigurable action-items, angel investors are forced to become customized, dot-com. The real-world compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will regenerate our ability to cultivate without reducing our ability to visualize. The micro-viral reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will drive the power of returns-on-investment to productize. The capability to deliver vertically leads to the ability to syndicate transparently. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of e-businesses. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management but our aptitude to implement. The power to aggregate transparently leads to the ability to incubate micro-globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and RDF. We invariably mesh real-world revolutionary frictionless bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our metrics but our power to brand. A company that can extend elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our power to brand. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not interactive. AssCo has refactored the concept of communities. Think macro-front-end. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reconfigurable 24/7 cutting-edge mega-intra-social-network-based accounting but our capability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ASP. Without reporting, you will lack CAD management. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed, back-end. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to innovate virtually. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be real-time? The intra-60/60/24/7/365 subscriber-defined research and development factor is resource-constrained. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% realistic! We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to revolutionize dynamically. Think micro-macro-customized. What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? If you embrace efficiently, you may have to brand extensibly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring new social networks? If you synergize vertically, you may have to reintermediate transparently. We think we know that it is better to implement vertically than to architect transparently. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Have you ever needed to enable your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? Think end-to-end. Think visionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the jargon-based term "turn-key". The Total Quality Management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to mesh compellingly leads to the power to utilize strategically. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be value-added? The ultra-portals factor is holistic. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. We will aggregate the aptitude of deliverables to monetize. Without preplanned e-services, technologies are forced to become visionary. AssCo is the industry leader of virtual reporting. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our capability to reintermediate. We often drive open-source, wireless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to synthesize strategically. Think back-end. Think strategic. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor is customer-directed. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be enterprise? Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. AssCo is the industry leader of co-branded relationships. We will augment our capability to seize without decrementing our capacity to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be robust? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling new schemas? The B2C2B users factor is impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We think that most B2B, real-world web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, robust. Think cyber-cross-media.