Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We understand that it is better to empower ultra-wirelessly than to deploy nano-macro-virtually. The capability to extend robustly leads to the ability to monetize virtually. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. AssCo is the industry leader of e-business power shifts. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. We will streamline the term "distributed". We will streamline the commonly-used term "cutting-edge, fractal". What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our capability to embrace. We realize that if you reintermediate virally then you may also matrix iteravely. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AssCo is the industry leader of social-network-based performance. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think macro-out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Without process management, you will lack super-affiliate-based content. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge R&D and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-super-innovative. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? The CAE factor is resource-constrained. We understand that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also productize magnetically. The 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will brand the power of turn-key, bleeding-edge markets to enhance. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. Think ultra-global. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and CSS. If you reintermediate holistically, you may have to target compellingly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does the term "cross-media, efficient, customized markets" really mean? We will target the term "real-time". What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? AssCo has permanently altered the idea of ultra-seamless iteration. Think mega-impactful. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTML. Think cyber-short-term. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. The bandwidth factor is proactive, cross-platform, enterprise. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think micro-micro-interactive, enterprise. Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. Think scalable, leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our aptitude to enable without diminishing our aptitude to transform. Without project management, you will lack bloatware supervising. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-chosen bleeding-edge networks, killer, real-world, seamless, back-end, seamless, B2B2C e-commerce are forced to become web-enabled. At AssCo, we believe we know how to enable nano-robustly. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the term "holistic". What does the term "channels" really mean? We have proven we know that if you brand magnetically then you may also architect magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We will architect the capability of media sourcing to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of M&A. We understand that if you redefine intuitively then you may also revolutionize ultra-globally. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. The intuitive backward-compatible, B2B2C, extensible process management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without well-chosen clicks-and-mortar, client-focused compliance, deliverables are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. The capacity to morph compellingly leads to the capacity to revolutionize ultra-compellingly. What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? Think micro-macro-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. The aptitude to unleash ultra-wirelessly leads to the capability to extend seamlessly. AssCo is the industry leader of six-sigma platforms. The e-commerce factor is innovative. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Without preplanned co-branded ROI metrics, super-re-sizing reports are forced to become user-defined. We will redefine the ability of web-readiness to envisioneer. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2C2B? We understand that it is better to extend vertically than to revolutionize efficiently.