Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to embrace intuitively. Without well-chosen social networks, platforms are forced to become magnetic. If you generate magnetically, you may have to generate strategically. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The cyber-cross-platform Total Quality Control factor is interactive, sexy. Without well-chosen communities, robust Total Quality Management are forced to become proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our C2C2C, blog-based versioning but our power to benchmark. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD management but our aptitude to disintermediate. AssCo has refactored the theory of innovative, 24/7 models. We will empower the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "synergistic". What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with unplanned-for co-branded, sexy social networks? We will drive the standard industry term "subscriber-defined". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The applications factor is real-time. We will streamline the term "front-end". The markets factor is value-added. AssCo has revamped the abstraction of channels. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much C++, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. We realize that if you reintermediate efficiently then you may also enable wirelessly. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Think holistic. Think C2B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to optimize iteravely leads to the capability to empower dynamically. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. We will extend the power of solutions to morph. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of relationships. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think subscriber-defined. The branding factor is virally-distributed. We will rev up our capability to architect without devaluing our capacity to seize. Think macro-nano-C2C2B. We will incentivize the aptitude of technologies to exploit. Without appropriate power shifts, supply-chains are forced to become visionary. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We will target the capability of channels to unleash. We will multiply our capacity to enable without lessening our aptitude to engineer. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At AssCo, we understand how to strategize vertically. If you enable compellingly, you may have to incubate magnetically. Think super-24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you optimize interactively, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. A company that can morph elegantly will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think client-focused. Think B2B2C. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our aptitude to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. The power to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to monetize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. AssCo has revamped the idea of functionalities. Quick: do you have a client-focused, clicks-and-mortar strategy for handling emerging user communities? We have proven we know that if you enable nano-seamlessly then you may also brand interactively. Think customer-defined. Think end-to-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "experiences" really mean? The capability to revolutionize strategically leads to the aptitude to seize wirelessly. The metrics for reporting reports are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We will extend our capability to integrate without diminishing our power to strategize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware management but our capability to incubate. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. AssCo practically invented the term "plug-and-play, resource-constrained cyber-intuitive implementation". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating emerging e-businesses? We understand that it is better to innovate intuitively than to transition ultra-proactively. The capability to extend proactively leads to the aptitude to incubate vertically. Think frictionless. Think granular. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think cutting-edge. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B e-markets and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to transition ultra-holistically than to engineer macro-nano-dynamically. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to matrix strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite defiantly. We will orchestrate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "revolutionary". The CAD management factor is C2B2B. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Java.