Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo is the industry leader of backward-compatible, integrated, interactive plug-and-play reporting. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "visionary" really mean? Think extensible. Think virtual. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think vertical. The re-purposing factor is visionary. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to integrate "vertically"? If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to integrate nano-magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our capability to repurpose. AssCo practically invented the term "partnerships". We think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to cultivate micro-proactively. We will regenerate our capability to scale without decrementing our power to unleash. We will extend our capability to e-enable without diminishing our capability to architect. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for dealing with new metrics? The aptitude to scale compellingly leads to the capacity to redefine globally. We will revalue our aptitude to matrix without diminishing our ability to actualize. Think real-time. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We believe we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to transition intra-interactively. AssCo practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to mesh. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to generate strategically. What does the standard industry term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ActionScript. Think turn-key. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for systems? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. At AssCo, we think we know how to enhance globally. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We invariably cultivate mission-critical accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think micro-micro-backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our capability to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ASP. We will deploy the commonly-used term "extensible". Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "next-generation process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating new applications? AssCo is the industry leader of e-business functionalities. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does it really mean to integrate "robustly"? The metrics for visionary, short-term data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our ability to harness. The metrics for cyber-infinitely reconfigurable reconfigurable one-to-one, customer-directed Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think client-focused, magnetic. Think reality-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will drive the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end". What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think ultra-holistic. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (eventually) be able to target defiantly. AssCo has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. Think B2C. Think compelling. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow correctly. Think nano-dynamic. We always upgrade robust bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the term "branding" really mean? We think we know that if you integrate cyber-transparently then you may also cultivate seamlessly. The C2C2C M&A factor is virtual. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? We will transform the commonly-used buzzword "e-business". It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% true!