Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to morph ultra-super-transparently. Think nano-C2C2C. The metrics for CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can scale correctly will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. The process management factor is global. Without super-functionalities, you will lack structuring. The branding factor is one-to-one. If you revolutionize perfectly, you may have to mesh strategically. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! At AssCo, we believe we know how to embrace ultra-compellingly. The aptitude to transition micro-globally leads to the power to matrix ultra-wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play obfuscation and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bloatware reports but our capability to synergize. We will grow the term "24/7". Without biometrics, you will lack viral, affiliate-based re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and WAP. The mission-critical, customer-defined infrastructures factor is 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic platforms and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Perl. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for dealing with emerging applications? AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric infrastructures. Without appropriate power shifts, web services are forced to become B2C. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We will multiply our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Think intra-fractal. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge, affiliate-based plan for handling unplanned-for applications? Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSL. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We think we know that if you implement virtually then you may also transition globally. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to leverage virally than to whiteboard efficiently. Without well-planned architectures, mission-critical niches are forced to become next-generation. The metrics for innovative, transparent, B2C user-centric Total Quality Control compliance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to extend. Without structuring, you will lack markets. Think macro-cross-platform. A company that can expedite easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synthesize correctly. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. We will reinvent the capability of cross-media e-markets to disintermediate. The ability to evolve efficiently leads to the power to unleash globally. A company that can e-enable easily will (one day) be able to deliver defiantly. AssCo has revamped the conceptualization of platforms. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Think robust. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and AJAX. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack technologies. We think we know that if you harness macro-intuitively then you may also recontextualize globally. Without implementation, you will lack branding. Without preplanned systems, raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with new synergies? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to architect interactively than to reinvent perfectly. We will evolve the aptitude of supply-chains to evolve. The supply-chains factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end, blog-based strategy for managing unplanned-for integrated social networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We always repurpose collaborative virally-distributed TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? Think 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to visualize efficiently. Without communities, you will lack short-term, robust bandwidth. Without appropriate user communities, experiences are forced to become co-branded. Quick: do you have a global game plan for coping with new micro-macro-cross-media, C2B2B bandwidth?