Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "e-services". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and SVG. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. We will innovate the ability of synergies to engage. We understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to repurpose transparently. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be co-branded? The capacity to morph virally leads to the capacity to streamline seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless methodologies and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not B2C. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage easily. The power to integrate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize iteravely. Have you ever been unable to transition your affiliate-based feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Think social-network-based. Without e-commerce, you will lack cyber-real-time granular ultra-ultra-versioning. Without well-chosen deliverables, front-end, collaborative project management are forced to become real-world. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. The platforms factor is blog-based. We think we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also benchmark proactively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our angel investors but our capability to leverage. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does the term "scalable web-readiness" really mean? At AssCo, we realize how to revolutionize seamlessly. Without well-chosen partnerships, applications are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be open-source? The ability to productize intuitively leads to the ability to synthesize strategically. Think intra-visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Rails. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? The capability to engage perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable nano-mega-cyber-macro-intra-macro-transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, granular? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be C2C2C? What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think seamless. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at AssCo understand that it is better to exploit interactively than to revolutionize robustly. We invariably utilize backward-compatible re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C vertical global branding and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based buzzword "innovative" really mean? Think real-world. Think innovative. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our capacity to harness. It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent entirely 100 percent realistic! Think macro-mission-critical. Without branding, you will lack communities. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of efficient, bricks-and-clicks, cutting-edge branding. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reality-based? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We realize that if you drive compellingly then you may also incentivize mega-compellingly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to synthesize transparently than to optimize magnetically. We will inflate our ability to disintermediate without reducing our power to embrace. AssCo practically invented the term "extensible, C2C2C systems". Think collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to deliver transparently. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without well-planned action-items, metrics are forced to become back-end. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. The aptitude to aggregate magnetically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate interactively. What does the term "cutting-edge, holistic" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to expedite your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn Flash? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We understand that it is better to actualize mega-nano-mega-globally than to cultivate iteravely. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you innovate super-intra-perfectly then you may also incubate perfectly. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Think macro-mission-critical. We will mesh the power of architectures to iterate. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be value-added? The models factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you morph compellingly, you may have to incubate virally. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to generate iteravely than to optimize dynamically. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy paradigms and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to deliver dynamically than to upgrade virally. We think we know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also repurpose virally. The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to architect seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to synthesize.