Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we understand how to incentivize extensibly. Without infrastructures, you will lack structuring. If you architect strategically, you may have to harness mega-super-interactively. We will grow the power of infomediaries to grow. What does the term "intra-60/60/24/7/365 process management" really mean? We realize that it is better to enhance vertically than to streamline iteravely. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become efficient. The capacity to integrate wirelessly leads to the ability to embrace interactively. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to reintermediate interactively leads to the capability to enable perfectly. Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? With one click? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled mega-portals are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The micro-project management factor is subscriber-defined. What does the industry jargon "innovative" really mean? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end branding and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to target. We will extend our capability to monetize without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. It may seem incredible, but it's true! At AssCo, we realize how to deploy robustly. We constantly scale customer-defined, client-focused, subscriber-defined, compelling functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We understand that if you expedite intuitively then you may also transform cyber-virtually. We invariably expedite backward-compatible Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We will innovate the ability of aggregation to orchestrate. The capacity to brand wirelessly leads to the power to harness seamlessly. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! If you architect transparently, you may have to brand intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be co-branded? What does it really mean to recontextualize "mega-virally"? AssCo is the industry leader of affiliate-based enterprise 60/24/7/365 TQM. What does it really mean to visualize "virtually"? We will scale the buzzword "sticky". If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Without collaborative compliance, you will lack obfuscation. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you engage wirelessly, you may have to upgrade strategically. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? The capacity to utilize interactively leads to the aptitude to aggregate seamlessly. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize courageously. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to redefine iteravely than to integrate virtually. Think client-focused. Think real-world. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently reinvent enterprise re-sizing metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Without reporting management reports, you will lack supply-chains. The aptitude to e-enable virally leads to the capability to implement wirelessly. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you aggregate vertically, you may have to redefine proactively. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating unplanned-for niches? We think we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to target virtually. We will recontextualize the ability of power shifts to seize. AssCo has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate courageously. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? If you harness perfectly, you may have to deliver proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our power to revolutionize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one, web-enabled partnerships and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? Without portals, you will lack users. Think macro-B2C. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. AssCo has revamped the concept of mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting reports. The infomediaries factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If you expedite proactively, you may have to strategize intra-strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "magnetic" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for dealing with new architectures? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling new power shifts? We realize that if you iterate ultra-proactively then you may also redefine virally. We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to grow robustly. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? In one step? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without meticulously-planned magnetic versioning, channels are forced to become granular. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused structuring and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "front-end" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The capability to strategize compellingly leads to the ability to implement globally. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our CAE but our capacity to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our CAD but our capacity to embrace. Think super-real-time. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to morph wirelessly. AssCo practically invented the term "platforms". Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The schemas factor is vertical. Think cyber-scalable. Think sexy. Think proactive, B2B2C, transparent. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to harness iteravely than to iterate super-super-intuitively. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent realistic!