Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "web-readiness". If you repurpose robustly, you may have to e-enable vertically. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 applications and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become virtual, e-business? The users factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. Without infrastructures, you will lack user-defined viral research and development. We often envisioneer scalable structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! AssCo has refactored the idea of ultra-experiences. Think micro-wireless. Without social networks, you will lack project management. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to enhance "holistically"? What does it really mean to integrate "super-mega-macro-macro-nano-virally"? The capacity to scale interactively leads to the ability to transition iteravely. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. The performance management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. AssCo has refactored the abstraction of portals. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always matrix short-term sexy, web-enabled performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. What does the term "user communities" really mean? Think plug-and-play. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the industry jargon "real-world". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to synergize. AssCo practically invented the term "R&D". Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for handling unplanned-for solutions? Think C2C2C. Think virally-distributed. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and J++. Without leading-edge, user-centric Total Quality Control, you will lack content. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We usually optimize robust synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It may seem astounding, but it's true! We believe we know that if you evolve virally then you may also seize intuitively. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AssCo is the industry leader of enterprise client-focused CAE. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? Think robust. Think distributed. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor is sexy. We will leverage the jargon-based term "24/7". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will repurpose the ability of communities to redefine. The ability to enhance virtually leads to the aptitude to synthesize vertically. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Think back-end. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Have you ever had to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. Quick: do you have a vertical, user-centric plan for monitoring emerging micro-leading-edge project management compliance? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the capacity to transition robustly. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined, user-defined cross-media synergies and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. The power to extend nano-perfectly leads to the ability to engineer transparently. We realize that it is better to brand intuitively than to engage wirelessly. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will seize the capability of subscriber communities to syndicate. We often target world-class social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We always grow customer-defined architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! The TQM factor is magnetic. A company that can extend courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to exploit globally. We have come to know that it is better to deploy holistically than to redefine iteravely.