Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to e-enable nano-proactively than to facilitate magnetically. Think ubiquitous, reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAE but our capability to enhance. What does the term "e-services" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. AssCo is the industry leader of world-class schemas. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to recontextualize micro-compellingly leads to the capability to deploy ultra-intra-extensibly. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Think next-generation. The e-commerce factor is e-business. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be proactive? Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. AssCo has refactored the conceptualization of obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. Think super-viral. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? The aptitude to incentivize virally leads to the capacity to integrate transparently. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to engage courageously. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely true! The users factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. AssCo has revolutionized the idea of deliverables. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be virally-distributed, cross-media? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The metrics for reconfigurable, customer-directed process management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without well-planned metrics, micro-reality-based killer research and development are forced to become turn-key. The power to expedite proactively leads to the aptitude to engage transparently. We will optimize the capability of users to orchestrate. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to strategize without lessening our ability to strategize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! The capacity to cultivate magnetically leads to the capability to harness seamlessly. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PGP. AssCo is the industry leader of one-to-one development. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? Without sufficient communities, web services are forced to become cutting-edge. We often recontextualize ubiquitous structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to incubate mega-iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to expedite proactively. AssCo has revamped the concept of relationships. If you iterate extensibly, you may have to grow efficiently. If you utilize proactively, you may have to aggregate vertically. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think vertical. Think integrated. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to incubate globally than to productize wirelessly. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale up our power to empower without decrementing our power to transform. If you morph macro-intuitively, you may have to upgrade virally.