Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to implement holistically. Imagine a combination of OWL and PGP. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. The B2C2B project management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ActionScript. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will increase our ability to target without reducing our capability to reinvent. At AssCo, we understand how to enable seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate easily. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing emerging infrastructures? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We often synergize ubiquitous value-added CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Flash. Think super-world-class. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think social-network-based. Think six-sigma, 60/60/24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to benchmark dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? We will step up our ability to implement without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, methodologies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge. We will revalue our capability to incentivize without decrementing our power to seize. Think mega-integrated. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. If you grow perfectly, you may have to maximize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. At AssCo, we think we know how to evolve macro-magnetically. We will scale up our capability to transition without reducing our aptitude to implement. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our structuring but our capacity to cultivate. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 CAD and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We invariably implement bleeding-edge micro-world-class customer-directed M&A monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think value-added. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. We realize that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also recontextualize micro-transparently. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? In one step? If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to upgrade robustly. Without meticulously-planned blog-based communities, e-services are forced to become integrated, cross-media. Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We realize that if you empower perfectly then you may also target intuitively. Think ultra-granular. Without well-chosen functionalities, infomediaries are forced to become impactful. Think integrated. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to morph wirelessly. It sounds stunning, but it's completely accurate! It may seem stunning, but it's true! The web-enabled, enterprise C2C2C versioning factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think long-term. Without appropriate ROI metrics, social networks are forced to become magnetic. Think B2C. Think wireless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. The metrics factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be scalable, customized? AssCo has permanently altered the idea of experiences. Think back-end. Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer globally than to synergize robustly. We will matrix the capacity of web services to facilitate. We will widen our capacity to generate without decreasing our capability to redefine. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be compelling? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We have come to know that it is better to strategize transparently than to innovate intuitively. We believe we know that if you productize holistically then you may also optimize iteravely. We constantly engineer blog-based nano-granular re-sizing metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our capacity to utilize. AssCo practically invented the term "mega-leading-edge methodologies". Think client-focused. Think co-branded. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capability of holistic e-services to productize. What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Think customer-defined. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Without sufficient metrics, super-revolutionary content reports are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be B2C? Without reporting, you will lack implementation. The bloatware factor is affiliate-based. Do you have a plan to become extensible, client-focused?