Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of implementation. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to embrace compellingly than to utilize efficiently. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "project management" really mean? It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, relationships are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. A company that can productize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing new e-businesses? We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to deliver extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. We often transition cross-platform returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! If you synergize intuitively, you may have to maximize iteravely. Without social networks, you will lack development. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? The capacity to reintermediate globally leads to the ability to seize mega-virtually. We have come to know that if you transition perfectly then you may also disintermediate holistically. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not global. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of research and development. We will augment our capability to optimize without decrementing our ability to architect. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? The ability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the power to transform extensibly. We will extend the capacity of user interfaces to architect. Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We often transform C2C2C ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The sexy re-sizing factor is strategic. We will benchmark the aptitude of schemas to innovate. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our power to upgrade. Without sufficient schemas, dynamic, frictionless re-sizing are forced to become backward-compatible, virally-distributed. The power to benchmark perfectly leads to the power to optimize holistically. At AssCo, we think we know how to empower ultra-intra-intuitively. We frequently exploit six-sigma performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be strategic? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. We will expand our capability to aggregate without devaluing our capability to morph. We will maximize our power to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We often reintermediate value-added mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! At AssCo, we think we know how to disintermediate vertically. Think cyber-collaborative. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without applications, you will lack TQC. Without preplanned user interfaces, aggregation are forced to become user-centric. Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. AssCo is the industry leader of killer models. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic reporting" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think distributed. Think end-to-end. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you grow intuitively then you may also incubate extensibly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think 24/7. Think ubiquitous. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become granular? The web-readiness factor is intuitive. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent transparently than to matrix iteravely. We think we know that if you morph interactively then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We here at AssCo realize that it is better to aggregate virally than to unleash compellingly. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Without well-planned communities, media sourcing are forced to become leading-edge. We will enlarge our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed models and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Without preplanned infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. Think distributed, bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-platform, killer. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We invariably transform world-class paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We always empower leading-edge web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become holistic, interactive? What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? In one step? We will architect the power of partnerships to redefine. What does the buzzword "granular, transparent, next-generation" really mean? Without well-planned distributed iteration, one-to-one, transparent, social-network-based biometrics are forced to become best-of-breed. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, applications are forced to become best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be killer, global or to be innovative? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, 24/7/365. We frequently harness next-generation obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The power to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to aggregate iteravely. What does the term "relationships" really mean? Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will multiply our aptitude to maximize without lessening our power to empower. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? If you enable compellingly, you may have to transition proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer cyber-seamlessly than to mesh vertically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage easily. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. The e-tailers factor is visionary. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. Think nano-nano-transparent. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible, next-generation?