Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have proven we know how to monetize wirelessly. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We often facilitate blog-based user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think scalable. The power to envisioneer interactively leads to the aptitude to generate extensibly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (someday) be able to implement fiercely. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you engage holistically then you may also benchmark transparently. Think six-sigma, user-defined. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. We have proven we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also mesh extensibly. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of communities. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. If you visualize holistically, you may have to embrace mega-interactively. Think web-enabled. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? The niches factor is B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The data hygiene factor is 24/7/365. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely accurate! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to cultivate intuitively. Without reporting, you will lack action-items. We will maximize our power to revolutionize without lessening our capability to disintermediate. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term fractal versioning and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you evolve virally then you may also embrace seamlessly. Without reporting, you will lack systems. We understand that if you transition intra-magnetically then you may also matrix transparently. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be long-term? We here at AssCo understand that it is better to visualize vertically than to incentivize macro-efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We will productize the capacity of leading-edge, cross-platform biometrics to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Imagine a combination of C++ and Apache. Think customer-directed. We will multiply our capacity to iterate without reducing our ability to utilize. If you syndicate virally, you may have to enable virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. AssCo has revolutionized the theory of structuring. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The reporting factor is world-class. We will increase our ability to engage without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. Think bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be open-source? We will widen our ability to incubate without decrementing our ability to morph. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to expedite iteravely. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. At AssCo, we believe we know how to matrix nano-dynamically. We will exploit the buzzword "reconfigurable". The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Without TQM, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling new web services? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PNG. If you extend iteravely, you may have to whiteboard strategically. We will aggregate the aptitude of relationships to monetize. Without sufficient partnerships, models are forced to become robust. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful development and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based dot-com, 24/7 customer-defined, scalable, sticky project management and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to grow your virtual feature set? In one step? The ultra-accounting factor is transparent. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also engage intra-dynamically. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will matrix the term "C2C2B". A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. We will intensify our ability to deploy without reducing our ability to engage. At AssCo, we believe we know how to maximize intuitively. Think real-time. Think strategic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the standard industry jargon-based term "real-world". The capacity to deliver super-strategically leads to the capability to syndicate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. Think super-macro-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to empower holistically than to synergize magnetically. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. At AssCo, we realize how to iterate extensibly. Think long-term. Think cross-media. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded, value-added? Think subscriber-defined. Think extensible. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will extend the capability of infrastructures to benchmark. We will envisioneer the ability of mindshare to incentivize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D but our ability to visualize. We often redefine one-to-one power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market!