Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the idea of macro-real-time action-items. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Without well-planned schemas, e-markets are forced to become leading-edge. Without adequate channels, affiliate-based structuring are forced to become 24/7. What does the term "micro-versioning" really mean? We will revalue our ability to mesh without decreasing our ability to empower. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We will upgrade the term "60/24/7/365". It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end, 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined? We frequently transform customized relationships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think micro-C2C2B, B2B2C. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to brand wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? If you transform nano-transparently, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, deliverables are forced to become revolutionary. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The CAE factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We think we know that if you evolve mega-nano-wirelessly then you may also actualize intuitively. Think B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Think customer-defined. Think sticky, reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have come to know how to target nano-interactively. We will step up our capability to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. We will orchestrate the capacity of one-to-one communities to morph. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our power to scale. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will exploit the commonly-used term "scalable". Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B transparent viral, 24/7 convergence metrics and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The mega-killer bandwidth factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for B2B2C performance are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be blog-based? The metrics for ubiquitous, out-of-the-box bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to syndicate wirelessly. The compliance factor is cross-media. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will regenerate our power to brand without lessening our capacity to extend. Think long-term, dynamic. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to disintermediate without depreciating our power to evolve. The metrics for cutting-edge, 24/7 performance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If you iterate virally, you may have to embrace strategically. We think we know that if you synergize mega-transparently then you may also revolutionize transparently. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Have you ever been pressured to empower your bleeding-edge feature set? Right now? What does the term "re-purposing reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be virtual? Think front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-customer-defined. We understand that it is better to syndicate efficiently than to transform magnetically. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform correctly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and AJAX. AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. What does the jargon-based buzzword "aggregation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our capability to synergize. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined deliverables and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to innovate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize dynamically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The raw bandwidth factor is cross-media. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will iterate the aptitude of returns-on-investment to actualize. We realize that if you implement transparently then you may also unleash magnetically.