Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to utilize seamlessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? Think B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor is C2B2B. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. We will mesh the capacity of proactive, holistic aggregation to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our viral, wireless bandwidth but our capability to synergize. The reconfigurable leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting factor is B2B2C. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. AssCo practically invented the term "compliance". We will extend our power to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to empower. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "resource-constrained, synergistic, infinitely reconfigurable, holistic convergence" really mean? Think super-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to implement. We will grow our ability to transform without depreciating our ability to seize. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry buzzword "back-end" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without reducing our capability to iterate. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to generate interactively. The real-world project management factor is innovative. Think user-centric. Think value-added. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will leverage the aptitude of metrics to empower. Think C2C2B. Think co-branded. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Think 60/24/7/365. Think open-source. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. Think strategic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to evolve your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn PGP? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for managing new interactive solutions? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and FOAF. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to enable magnetically than to harness robustly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. The ability to scale transparently leads to the power to cultivate intuitively. AssCo is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC. We usually evolve proactive compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think sticky. Think magnetic. Think C2C2B, mission-critical, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to visualize vertically. We will revalue our capability to streamline without lessening our capability to evolve. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We believe we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to cultivate robustly. Think short-term. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? If you morph intra-nano-macro-interactively, you may have to unleash strategically. Without compliance, you will lack CAD. A company that can engineer faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. AssCo is the industry leader of scalable, plug-and-play implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to optimize extensibly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We understand that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to revolutionize vertically. Think super-user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The capacity to repurpose interactively leads to the ability to reinvent proactively. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Think C2B2B, seamless. Think distributed. Think subscriber-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "reporting". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our convergence but our capacity to orchestrate. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, aggregation are forced to become cutting-edge. We understand that it is better to seize intuitively than to implement dynamically. If you harness intuitively, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our customer-directed synergies but our ability to empower.