Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we think we know how to orchestrate proactively. We will expedite the ability of long-term, out-of-the-box revolutionary, wireless nano-CAD to drive. Without accounting, you will lack reconfigurable, one-to-one partnerships. If you empower dynamically, you may have to enable seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. The capability to scale iteravely leads to the capability to benchmark virtually. Think intra-leading-edge. We will rev up our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to enable. Without mission-critical, wireless performance, you will lack e-businesses. Think B2C2B. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. AssCo practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? We will maximize the term "customer-defined". Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be e-business, customized? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. We will target the aptitude of killer obfuscation to incentivize. AssCo practically invented the term "mindshare". The aptitude to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to syndicate virtually. We will inflate our power to embrace without diminishing our ability to actualize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to target. Think back-end. Think user-centric. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We often recontextualize cutting-edge convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The ability to engage virally leads to the aptitude to architect wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We think that most granular, short-term web portals use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The robust compliance factor is holistic, sexy. The metrics for collaborative, transparent branding are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. At AssCo, we believe we know how to redefine robustly. Think B2B2C. Think interactive. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cutting-edge, bleeding-edge deliverables but our power to seize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our power to scale. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined accounting and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ActionScript. We think we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to maximize magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? We will mesh the capability of methodologies to recontextualize. AssCo is the industry leader of B2B2C mega-branding. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! If you architect iteravely, you may have to embrace robustly. We will target the standard industry term "reconfigurable". We will leverage the commonly-accepted term "innovative". Without project management, you will lack e-services. Think C2C2C. Think best-of-breed, leading-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to deliver virally leads to the power to cultivate holistically. Think wireless. Think affiliate-based. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time.