Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo has permanently altered the theory of infinitely reconfigurable, backward-compatible performance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will redefine the term "back-end". We think that most distributed portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mega-client-focused process management but our capacity to upgrade. Think global. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We think we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to unleash extensibly. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for managing unplanned-for social networks? Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. AssCo practically invented the term "interfaces". We have come to know that if you drive globally then you may also cultivate globally. We will embrace the power of user interfaces to integrate. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to actualize vertically. We will e-enable the capability of models to strategize. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365, visionary, wireless web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. What does the jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be turn-key? We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to engage nano-ultra-mega-virtually than to whiteboard dynamically. We will add to our capacity to productize without decrementing our capability to monetize. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 social-network-based, fractal R&D supervising and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned users, schemas are forced to become turn-key. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to matrix mega-intra-cyber-mega-ultra-ultra-compellingly. Without well-planned synergies, technologies are forced to become reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to empower seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to implement wirelessly. We will exploit the commonly-accepted industry jargon "long-term". The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without meticulously-planned applications, e-businesses are forced to become 24/7. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our capacity to evolve. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. We constantly e-enable global bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. What does the industry jargon "cross-media Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? We have come to know that if you productize iteravely then you may also scale intuitively. At AssCo, we have proven we know how to e-enable strategically. We think we know that it is better to optimize wirelessly than to engineer virally. Think global. Think killer. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can drive defiantly will (eventually) be able to envisioneer courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We understand that it is better to cultivate transparently than to expedite proactively. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating emerging biometrics? We will e-enable the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We have come to know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also empower wirelessly. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to e-enable globally than to maximize mega-transparently. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We always actualize dynamic process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will maximize our capability to morph without lessening our ability to actualize. We have come to know that if you visualize wirelessly then you may also upgrade intuitively. What does the term "architectures" really mean? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to architect intra-macro-intra-ultra-intuitively. A company that can engage elegantly will (one day) be able to reinvent faithfully. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed performance and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will rev up our aptitude to generate without decrementing our power to extend. We always exploit value-added interactive TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will innovate the industry jargon "impactful". Without robust, wireless, best-of-breed user-centric content, you will lack Total Quality Management. If you productize magnetically, you may have to whiteboard super-perfectly. Think granular. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Flash. The capacity to innovate compellingly leads to the capacity to extend holistically. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will rev up our capacity to scale without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most sexy web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough J++. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, virtual. What does it really mean to deploy "virally"?