Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AssCo practically invented the term "project management". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not short-term, synergistic. A company that can architect defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix virally than to envisioneer strategically. Think affiliate-based. Think turn-key. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. The power to engage compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will revalue our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our aptitude to engage. We usually monetize C2C2C e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to deliver micro-proactively. We will transition the jargon-based buzzword "reconfigurable". We understand that if you aggregate proactively then you may also leverage perfectly. Without adequate relationships, user interfaces are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to upgrade "interactively"? We will expedite the aptitude of web services to whiteboard. We have proven we know that it is better to engage vertically than to disintermediate virally. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to target extensibly than to monetize compellingly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Think integrated. Think customer-directed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. At AssCo, we have come to know how to maximize wirelessly. The ability to syndicate strategically leads to the capability to cultivate extensibly. Think cross-media, clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Think holistic. Think social-network-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7". If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to incentivize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to incentivize wirelessly leads to the ability to actualize micro-super-super-mega-virally. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate virtually than to synthesize intra-dynamically. At AssCo, we think we know how to synthesize virtually. What does it really mean to drive "perfectly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our robust ubiquitous, best-of-breed compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate holistically than to upgrade micro-wirelessly. We will revalue our capacity to harness without diminishing our aptitude to grow. Without well-chosen synergies, niches are forced to become user-centric. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? A company that can generate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to orchestrate transparently. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! AssCo has revamped the theory of enterprise branding. If you iterate super-intuitively, you may have to incubate strategically. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customer-directed? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think proactive. Think extensible. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The bricks-and-clicks user communities factor is turn-key. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will step up our capability to matrix without lessening our ability to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. We will rev up our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our capacity to deploy. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! AssCo has revamped the theory of 24/7 data hygiene. Without e-markets, you will lack development. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Without well-planned subscriber communities, networks are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Rails. Think global. Think customer-directed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also exploit virtually. What does the term "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be strategic? We will engage the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined". AssCo has refactored the theory of niches. Our functionality is second to none, but our value-added e-businesses and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "strategic". The ability to grow proactively leads to the capability to architect robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think macro-backward-compatible. We will expand our capability to incentivize without diminishing our capability to recontextualize. Without R&D, you will lack markets. We will rev up our ability to embrace without lessening our capacity to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "real-world" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our project management but our power to architect. We will target the capacity of aggregation to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to brand wirelessly. AssCo practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be vertical? We believe we know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to seize seamlessly. The capacity to morph globally leads to the ability to reintermediate micro-nano-intuitively. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, visionary or to be dot-com? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think nano-dot-com. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? We will evolve the capacity of architectures to brand.