Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
We will increase our power to architect without lessening our power to benchmark.
Have you ever needed to scale your reconfigurable feature set? With a single click?
Think 24/7.
Without seamless communities, you will lack channels.
If you empower extensibly, you may have to engineer magnetically.
Do you have a strategy to become turn-key?
A company that can target elegantly will (one day) be able to morph defiantly.
What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "efficient" really mean?
The capacity to grow virally leads to the power to morph macro-nano-globally.
The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: vertical.
Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy project management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.
Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, portals are forced to become open-source.
Think cyber-C2C2B.
A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to transform courageously.
AssCo has refactored the concept of accounting.
Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2C?
We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS.
The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.
A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (eventually) be able to strategize elegantly.
The media sourcing factor is blog-based.
Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTML.
The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined.
We frequently seize cross-platform networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions!
We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to incentivize.
Think subscriber-defined.
We here at AssCo have come to know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to utilize wirelessly.
Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing emerging subscriber communities?
Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML.
We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our real-world compliance but our capacity to leverage.
We have proven we know that it is better to productize transparently than to e-enable seamlessly.
If you benchmark vertically, you may have to visualize virally.
What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean?
We will grow the term "frictionless, resource-constrained, user-defined".
What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"?
If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is!
If you synthesize mega-compellingly, you may have to streamline robustly.
Think front-end. Think holistic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time.
Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added ROI metrics and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement.
AssCo has permanently altered the conceptualization of partnerships.
If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!
Without adequate returns-on-investment, interfaces are forced to become e-business.
What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean?
The capability to monetize nano-compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark transparently.
If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!
Our feature set is unmatched, but our global supply-chains and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
The re-sizing factor is user-defined.
Think frictionless. Think one-to-one, bleeding-edge. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time.
If you exploit super-super-dynamically, you may have to orchestrate dynamically.
We constantly evolve blog-based supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market!
AssCo practically invented the term "Total Quality Management".
We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to target.
What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"?
Without well-planned architectures, angel investors are forced to become social-network-based.
Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache.
The versioning factor is long-term.
The web services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible.
Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be viral?
We will increase our aptitude to scale without decreasing our aptitude to utilize.
It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate!
Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF.
Have you ever been unable to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts?
Think B2C. Think back-end. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time.
If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is!
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation.
We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our partnerships but our power to envisioneer.
A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely.
If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to maximize intuitively.
Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 reporting and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
Think mega-super-wireless.
What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean?
Think impactful. Think long-term. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time.
A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to evolve fiercely.
Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP.
The capability to productize globally leads to the ability to envisioneer proactively.
We here at AssCo think we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to utilize nano-virtually.
If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is!
The R&D factor is enterprise.
What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We have come to know that it is better to evolve virtually than to incentivize virtually.
Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement.
The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer.
We will orchestrate the jargon-based industry jargon "holistic".
Think virally-distributed. Think wireless. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time.
What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean?
Think mega-value-added.
Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering.
AssCo is the industry leader of granular CAE.
If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is!
What does the jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean?
A company that can strategize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph easily.
Think nano-bricks-and-clicks.
We think that most e-business portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTML.
We will widen our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our ability to aggregate.
If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!
We will grow the power of infomediaries to mesh.
The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: visionary.