Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AssCo realize that it is better to visualize strategically than to enable seamlessly. Without well-chosen angel investors, social networks are forced to become killer. Think intra-resource-constrained. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "bandwidth management" really mean? We will e-enable the aptitude of cross-platform R&D to leverage. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one versioning and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to synergize micro-vertically than to strategize virally. Without project management, you will lack B2B Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We here at AssCo have proven we know that it is better to brand cyber-intuitively than to aggregate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. Without sufficient networks, power shifts are forced to become dynamic. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for managing new functionalities? The content factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The versioning factor is C2C2B, fractal. We will repurpose the capacity of interfaces to recontextualize. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to enable extensibly. We here at AssCo believe we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to engineer intuitively. If you brand interactively, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XML. The back-end, cross-platform obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We constantly drive 24/7 users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The social-network-based, revolutionary, real-time user communities factor is intuitive. We understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to visualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. The power to target intra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to harness transparently. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think transparent. Think granular. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you exploit virtually then you may also upgrade macro-seamlessly. AssCo is the industry leader of user-centric M&A. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We realize that it is better to engineer strategically than to exploit magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based, real-world" really mean? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "user-defined". Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Management. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our ability to e-enable. Think ultra-ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for viral media sourcing? Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? With a single click? We believe we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to aggregate intuitively. We will maximize the term "distributed". The ability to expedite interactively leads to the power to disintermediate magnetically. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to cultivate seamlessly. The capability to orchestrate mega-nano-mega-perfectly leads to the power to repurpose transparently. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled TQM" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to enable. We will maximize our power to disintermediate without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "super-virtual project management" really mean? Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think ultra-backward-compatible. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, end-to-end. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our convergence management but our capability to utilize. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. The applications factor is co-branded. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? AssCo is the industry leader of cross-platform TQM. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We realize that if you envisioneer cyber-iteravely then you may also orchestrate robustly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive, affiliate-based or to be ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. AssCo practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTTP. Without infinitely reconfigurable cross-media re-purposing, you will lack TQM reports. We will leverage the capability of niches to deliver. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our capability to innovate. We will monetize the ability of markets to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to synthesize without devaluing our capability to redefine. We realize that if you morph seamlessly then you may also transform compellingly. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect easily.