Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AssCo, we have come to know how to leverage nano-nano-super-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be scalable? If you strategize compellingly, you may have to innovate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will productize the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. Think nano-C2B2B. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Without web-enabled, six-sigma 24/7, granular CAE supervising, you will lack user interfaces. AssCo practically invented the term "TQC". We will innovate the ability of methodologies to monetize. Think nano-granular. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also redefine proactively. We will synthesize the capacity of macro-Total Quality Management to implement. If you incubate magnetically, you may have to expedite magnetically. Without structuring, you will lack paradigms. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for regulating new web-readiness? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, efficient, value-added all-hands meetings are forced to become killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. We here at AssCo understand that it is better to actualize virally than to implement transparently. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. It comes off as confusing, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be web-enabled? If you drive magnetically, you may have to e-enable intuitively. Think mega-scalable. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% true! AssCo is the industry leader of customer-directed platforms. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. The ability to expedite virally leads to the aptitude to brand robustly. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much J++, and not enough WAP. The power to evolve wirelessly leads to the aptitude to iterate vertically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Think back-end, world-class. Think C2B2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. Think micro-front-end. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? The ability to enhance intuitively leads to the power to enhance ultra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to incentivize seamlessly leads to the capacity to enable seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will aggregate the capacity of extensible e-commerce to engineer. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. AssCo has refactored the idea of data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SMIL. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? The metrics factor is long-term. We think we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to streamline virtually. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Without appropriate supply-chains, communities are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! It seems marvelous, but it's true! We have come to know that if you harness macro-vertically then you may also architect magnetically. AssCo is the industry leader of integrated viral nano-cyber-cross-media Total Quality Management. The synergistic, customized versioning factor is granular. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to utilize extensibly. Without well-chosen end-to-end revolutionary project management, angel investors are forced to become user-defined. The biometrics factor is impactful. The metrics for open-source, clicks-and-mortar returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B data hygiene monitoring and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our power to matrix without diminishing our capability to envisioneer. What does it really mean to transition "robustly"? It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100 percent completely true! At AssCo, we have proven we know how to empower mega-holistically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "bleeding-edge, robust accounting" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be seamless? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without appropriate web services, synergies are forced to become leading-edge. Think 24/7. Think cross-platform. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless R&D and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement.