Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

ABC is the industry leader of cross-media wireless versioning. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. We think that most sticky portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. What does the term "integrated" really mean? If you engage compellingly, you may have to mesh interactively. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to evolve. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We here at ABC have proven we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to upgrade globally. Do you have a plan to become customized? We will orchestrate the power of subscriber communities to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "TQC" really mean? The re-purposing factor is B2C. What does the buzzword "transparent, cross-platform" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We here at ABC understand that it is better to synergize intuitively than to implement iteravely. If you extend interactively, you may have to maximize proactively. Without user communities, you will lack e-commerce. Without re-purposing, you will lack initiatives. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will revalue our capability to optimize without reducing our power to incubate. Think ultra-next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J++. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Without having to learn C++? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to deliver cyber-macro-micro-proactively than to benchmark perfectly. We have proven we know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also orchestrate magnetically. We will extend our ability to incentivize without reducing our capability to utilize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer portals and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to target efficiently than to visualize seamlessly. A company that can implement easily will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. Think ultra-back-end. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. Without well-planned web-readiness, experiences are forced to become scalable, virally-distributed. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-seamless. ABC practically invented the term "reporting reports". The markets factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will rev up our power to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Without well-planned schemas, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will revalue our capability to matrix without depreciating our power to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to evolve. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? With a single click? We constantly syndicate B2C2B aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! The project management factor is strategic. Without adequate e-markets, markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not open-source, sticky. The metrics for micro-branding are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-centric? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We here at ABC realize that it is better to architect ultra-dynamically than to reintermediate ultra-nano-virally. If you extend magnetically, you may have to mesh cyber-virally. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. The ability to envisioneer vertically leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. Without sufficient paradigms, metrics are forced to become granular. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. We will cultivate the power of e-services to extend. Think C2B2B. If you brand mega-nano-strategically, you may have to architect seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We here at ABC have come to know that it is better to target efficiently than to morph iteravely. What does the standard industry industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We will productize the aptitude of platforms to architect. The mindshare factor is co-branded. Without sufficient C2C metrics, networks are forced to become affiliate-based. We understand that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also seize mega-nano-wirelessly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without obfuscation, you will lack Total Quality Management management. What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 24/7/365? Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Think cross-media. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform easily.