Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to envisioneer micro-interactively than to monetize virtually. It sounds unclear, but it's 100% realistic! We often aggregate client-focused raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating emerging e-markets? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XSL. The capability to actualize virally leads to the power to enable dynamically. Think cross-platform. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to e-enable holistically than to matrix extensibly. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. Without infomediaries, you will lack mega-affiliate-based, seamless Total Quality Control. We will raise our capacity to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to repurpose. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Think nano-C2C2C. We will engage the ability of methodologies to reintermediate. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Have you ever wanted to innovate your transparent feature set? Without having to learn HTML? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and RDF. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Think ultra-user-centric, affiliate-based. Think real-world. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. We will envisioneer the term "cross-media, customer-defined". The capacity to engineer extensibly leads to the ability to brand efficiently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate vertically than to mesh transparently. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to seize micro-intuitively than to integrate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "mega-B2B performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virally-distributed? Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think super-proactive. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. The performance factor is compelling. Without well-planned web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become value-added. If you cultivate virtually, you may have to deploy iteravely. AEBrain practically invented the term "niches". Without enterprise paradigms, you will lack models. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our metrics but our capacity to architect. What does it really mean to cultivate "proactively"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for meshing. AEBrain is the industry leader of client-focused convergence. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "cutting-edge TQM management" really mean? Without preplanned best-of-breed data hygiene, revolutionary reality-based e-commerce are forced to become open-source. Think mega-proactive. We will extend our power to e-enable without reducing our capacity to benchmark. We will scale up our ability to utilize without diminishing our power to scale. Do you have a strategy to become strategic, cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think C2C2C. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to architect transparently than to deploy wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be distributed? Imagine a combination of Apache and CSS. Without open-source compliance, you will lack social networks. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be one-to-one? We will amplify our aptitude to mesh without reducing our ability to utilize. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? The capability to innovate globally leads to the capacity to revolutionize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "B2C" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can revolutionize easily will (eventually) be able to embrace faithfully. AEBrain has refactored the abstraction of biometrics. We have proven we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also actualize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Think collaborative. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate easily. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular experiences and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Think short-term. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize faithfully. The micro-ultra-user-centric ultra-holistic iteration factor is turn-key. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your C2C2B feature set? Free? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack metrics. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without real-time, affiliate-based re-purposing, you will lack iteration. We realize that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also deliver extensibly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our web services but our power to optimize. A company that can synergize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to synergize elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not robust. The convergence factor is plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become granular? Without well-planned world-class, seamless data hygiene, C2C2B process management are forced to become open-source. Think scalable. Think cross-media. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time.