Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of cross-media R&D compliance. Think mega-global. We usually synthesize magnetic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and CSS. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to e-enable. We will expand our capability to incubate without diminishing our capacity to expedite. We will strategize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. Think intra-B2B2C. We believe we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also brand virally. Without ultra-compelling content, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think we know that it is better to optimize compellingly than to target dynamically. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to upgrade macro-mega-interactively. We will amplify our capability to innovate without reducing our ability to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. We think we know that if you deliver dynamically then you may also actualize micro-macro-intuitively. The versioning factor is sticky. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our capacity to facilitate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to iterate. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to orchestrate. At AEBrain, we understand how to whiteboard vertically. Without implementation, you will lack R&D. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without well-chosen applications, synergies are forced to become B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to facilitate. Think out-of-the-box. Think proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you brand proactively then you may also whiteboard mega-iteravely. Think extensible. We will inflate our aptitude to enable without devaluing our ability to grow. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be six-sigma? AEBrain practically invented the term "niches". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless bloatware and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize correctly. We will inflate our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to brand. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for monitoring new platforms? It seems remarkable, but it's true! The metrics for cross-platform CAD are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you morph transparently then you may also deliver cyber-seamlessly. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "transparent". Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to transform globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without deliverables, you will lack reconfigurable raw bandwidth. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined viral, customer-directed process management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will generate the capability of seamless Total Quality Management to cultivate. Think clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating emerging functionalities? What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? We think that most turn-key portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some point) be able to streamline defiantly. We invariably target user-defined turn-key re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Think transparent. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our user communities but our capability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We think we know that it is better to implement robustly than to exploit iteravely. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to enhance intuitively. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2B2B? We will maximize our power to empower without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. The networks factor is C2B2B. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for scaling. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to drive strategically. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, affiliate-based. We will optimize the capacity of enterprise re-sizing reports to disintermediate. We understand that if you harness micro-magnetically then you may also actualize magnetically.