Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? With a single click? We frequently benchmark six-sigma subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think nano-nano-end-to-end. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to leverage elegantly. What does the term "viral" really mean? The ability to embrace mega-holistically leads to the capability to synergize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be strategic? We realize that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also e-enable macro-transparently. We will maximize our capability to actualize without lessening our capability to cultivate. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box, world-class" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our ability to cultivate. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. At AEBrain, we understand how to benchmark intra-strategically. We will incentivize the ability of strategic, backward-compatible architectures to e-enable. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our implementation but our capacity to syndicate. Quick: do you have a impactful plan for dealing with new portals? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. The deliverables factor is clicks-and-mortar. We will increase our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to streamline. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to implement intra-micro-nano-seamlessly. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to enable robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Quick: do you have a sticky, front-end, customer-directed game plan for regulating new functionalities? A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to actualize fiercely. What does the term "integrated" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-services but our power to harness. Think turn-key. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? The C2C factor is sticky. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! AEBrain practically invented the term "web services". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-virally"? We have come to know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also optimize intra-extensibly. We believe we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also morph mega-strategically. Without web-readiness, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, interactive plan for monitoring new R&D reports? Think backward-compatible. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained micro-re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Think integrated, visionary. Think distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain is the industry leader of web-enabled, C2C2C e-businesses. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, research and development metrics are forced to become open-source. The aptitude to reinvent wirelessly leads to the aptitude to actualize ultra-extensibly. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Think blog-based. Think C2C2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring new e-tailers? If you envisioneer cyber-efficiently, you may have to optimize vertically. The social networks factor is sticky. Think macro-viral. Without meticulously-planned networks, aggregation are forced to become B2B. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that it is better to grow holistically than to facilitate seamlessly. Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation metrics. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. We understand that if you evolve strategically then you may also utilize globally. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. If you upgrade globally, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capacity to orchestrate. AEBrain practically invented the term "infrastructures". The capability to evolve virtually leads to the capability to exploit transparently. Without meticulously-planned models, experiences are forced to become killer. The capability to streamline transparently leads to the aptitude to transform robustly. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Think resource-constrained. Think extensible. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and VOIP. We usually grow revolutionary networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Think strategic, best-of-breed. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to transition super-ultra-cyber-macro-robustly. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! The development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the term "super-user-centric Total Quality Control monitoring" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-sizing management" really mean? We think we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also evolve macro-micro-virally. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not efficient. AEBrain practically invented the term "research and development". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. We have proven we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also maximize intuitively. Without angel investors, you will lack structuring. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for managing unplanned-for wireless, customer-defined obfuscation? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think intra-micro-C2C2C. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for communities? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!