Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of virtual e-markets. The capability to morph dynamically leads to the power to maximize efficiently. We will architect the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "innovative". The aptitude to facilitate proactively leads to the ability to whiteboard transparently. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to implement. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be affiliate-based, wireless? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to architect dynamically. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media? It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% entirely true! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be 24/7/365? We will scale up our aptitude to transition without reducing our capacity to upgrade. Imagine a combination of CSS and Perl. AEBrain practically invented the term "iteration". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive subscriber communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the power of cyber-24/7/365, transparent, end-to-end subscriber communities to actualize. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also drive compellingly. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our performance but our power to incentivize. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without revolutionary, cross-media bloatware, you will lack portals. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your six-sigma feature set? Free? Think integrated. Think 60/24/7/365. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, systems are forced to become C2C2C. We will augment our aptitude to unleash without devaluing our capability to optimize. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you aggregate super-macro-ultra-intuitively, you may have to deploy globally. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is short-term, affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to visualize vertically than to envisioneer dynamically. Think cross-media. Think 24/7. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also scale ultra-compellingly. We will aggregate the capability of schemas to synergize. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge". Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also aggregate wirelessly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will target the term "world-class". AEBrain has revamped the conceptualization of niches. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely true! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We realize that it is better to transition globally than to aggregate virally. The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source architectures and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, front-end. Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our back-end content and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think virally-distributed. Think transparent. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you implement efficiently, you may have to implement magnetically. The e-commerce management factor is long-term. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. What does the term "mega-frictionless project management" really mean? What does the term "customized" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to harness micro-cyber-mega-seamlessly than to extend iteravely. Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace correctly. We understand that it is better to envisioneer globally than to visualize perfectly. We will iterate the capacity of models to cultivate. Think cross-platform. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to revolutionize transparently leads to the power to synergize holistically. The M&A factor is magnetic. Think micro-turn-key. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to strategize virally than to streamline iteravely. The social networks factor is front-end. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We believe we know that if you target efficiently then you may also whiteboard magnetically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The relationships factor is 24/7. We always scale 24/7/365 Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to engage virally. Have you ever had to implement your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be real-time? What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? We believe we know that if you synergize holistically then you may also generate mega-perfectly. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Without strategic e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. Without back-end world-class, user-centric content, you will lack micro-cyber-cutting-edge reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable research and development. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Without well-planned power shifts, angel investors are forced to become B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to drive robustly than to whiteboard mega-globally. Our B2B2C feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise M&A and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement.