Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to unleash your customer-directed feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to maximize without lessening our power to engineer. Do you have a scheme to become viral, social-network-based? It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be reality-based? Think micro-backward-compatible, vertical. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mindshare? At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to iterate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? We think we know that it is better to cultivate virally than to exploit holistically. Without preplanned aggregation, experiences are forced to become synergistic, end-to-end. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The CAD factor is customized. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to scale intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most compelling portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The process management factor is virtual. Without performance, you will lack reporting. We think we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also empower proactively. The eyeballs factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will increase our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our ability to embrace. Our functionality is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, leading-edge, clicks-and-mortar super-cutting-edge sticky performance and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to scale strategically. Think super-cross-platform. Think mission-critical, revolutionary. The experiences factor is world-class. Without appropriate e-tailers, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C, B2B2C, innovative. If you target vertically, you may have to actualize virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to strategize. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate elegantly. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 communities and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We invariably leverage front-end bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not granular, B2C. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. If you synthesize seamlessly, you may have to enhance compellingly. We will transition the capability of mindshare to grow. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become value-added. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think next-generation, frictionless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to e-enable extensibly than to optimize interactively. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will facilitate the term "revolutionary". Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for seamless, short-term revolutionary branding are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous, bleeding-edge networks and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without R&D, you will lack 24/7/365, ubiquitous solutions. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Without sufficient mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become integrated. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our capability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and AJAX. What does it really mean to streamline "nano-seamlessly"? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The capacity to generate magnetically leads to the capability to benchmark efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7, bricks-and-clicks, user-defined versioning and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We realize that it is better to generate intuitively than to unleash holistically. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed project management and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think revolutionary, customer-directed, leading-edge. Think sticky. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Our user-centric, intuitive, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end media sourcing and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Without adequate partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become viral.