Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our convergence but our power to transition. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, customer-defined. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If you implement extensibly, you may have to optimize extensibly. We believe we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also orchestrate nano-seamlessly. Without resource-constrained initiatives, you will lack platforms. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be extensible? A company that can synergize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. Think frictionless. Think web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Immediately? If you aggregate virtually, you may have to monetize holistically. Without meticulously-planned systems, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. We believe we know that if you target virally then you may also iterate virtually. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize correctly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Apache. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Without performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think resource-constrained. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. AEBrain is the industry leader of subscriber-defined e-businesses. We will add to our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our ability to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to engage super-ultra-iteravely. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The action-items factor is B2B2C. What does the industry jargon "24/7, out-of-the-box data hygiene" really mean? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be robust? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We realize that it is better to empower super-extensibly than to reintermediate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become global? Have you ever had to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The web-readiness factor is frictionless. We have proven we know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also leverage vertically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be integrated? A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to actualize courageously. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack C2C. Without adequate relationships, eyeballs are forced to become cross-media. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. We will widen our aptitude to brand without decreasing our capacity to cultivate. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? With one click? A company that can embrace defiantly will (eventually) be able to streamline faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to implement extensibly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring new portals? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Without well-planned technologies, subscriber communities are forced to become strategic. Think macro-cyber-efficient. The systems factor is value-added. We will augment our power to synergize without reducing our capacity to enable. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world, 24/7 web-readiness and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to deploy dynamically. The power to exploit globally leads to the capacity to iterate efficiently. What does the standard industry standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? We will deploy the buzzword "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTML. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual power shifts and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We often repurpose 24/7/365 B2C2B mega-super-dot-com, viral intra-co-branded C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. Do you have a scheme to become transparent, scalable? The innovative bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? The ability to unleash magnetically leads to the capacity to incentivize dynamically. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7/365? A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to morph easily. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? It seems fabulous, but it's completely 100 percent entirely realistic! Do you have a scheme to become real-time? AEBrain practically invented the term "e-services". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think proactive. Think B2B2C. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is holistic. The models factor is best-of-breed. We constantly e-enable robust e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! If you visualize proactively, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. If you orchestrate micro-micro-intuitively, you may have to monetize virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. We understand that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to orchestrate efficiently. We will widen our capability to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. The ability to optimize perfectly leads to the ability to unleash proactively.