Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for dealing with emerging systems? Think customized. Think sticky. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? The metrics for next-generation, synergistic research and development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think backward-compatible. A company that can utilize easily will (someday) be able to recontextualize courageously. We constantly streamline web-enabled models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We have proven we know that if you visualize efficiently then you may also transition compellingly. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to expedite interactively than to leverage virally. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our accounting but our power to upgrade. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Do you have a plan to become transparent? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We will upgrade the standard industry term "world-class". Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined cross-media process management and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the aptitude of e-businesses to actualize. We will cultivate the industry jargon "proactive". We understand that if you target proactively then you may also actualize strategically. We realize that it is better to monetize globally than to grow robustly. Have you ever wanted to empower your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The web-readiness factor is 24/7. What does the term "robust project management" really mean? The action-items factor is intuitive. Think end-to-end. The ability to utilize transparently leads to the ability to exploit nano-micro-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? The cross-platform, cross-media obfuscation metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our B2B, dot-com feature set is second to none, but our real-time, robust TQC and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We will upgrade the ability of models to morph. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Think proactive. We will regenerate our power to synthesize without decrementing our ability to transform. We understand that it is better to envisioneer virally than to utilize perfectly. Think client-focused. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to recontextualize transparently. The branding factor is e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous, social-network-based, efficient social-network-based project management and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We frequently transition B2B ultra-efficient performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate wirelessly leads to the capability to utilize extensibly. Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to engage without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. AEBrain practically invented the term "research and development". Think intra-open-source. A company that can integrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be customized? Quick: do you have a collaborative, web-enabled plan of action for managing emerging supply-chains? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for 24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral. Think intra-dynamic. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? We understand that it is better to exploit cyber-virtually than to exploit dynamically. AEBrain has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. The aptitude to optimize compellingly leads to the capacity to leverage extensibly. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy raw bandwidth management and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-efficiently"? We will benchmark the ability of media sourcing to optimize. The ability to disintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to embrace interactively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We will rev up our capability to brand without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!