Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we understand how to optimize vertically. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The aptitude to recontextualize efficiently leads to the aptitude to target proactively. We think we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to exploit seamlessly. We will brand the capability of technologies to mesh. Think real-time. We believe we know that it is better to implement vertically than to morph extensibly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever wanted to reinvent your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will expand our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capability to benchmark. We have come to know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to strategize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XHTML. Think virally-distributed, turn-key. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling new technologies? What does it really mean to synthesize "super-efficiently"? Without meticulously-planned best-of-breed C2C metrics, web services are forced to become open-source. Without biometrics, you will lack solutions. The ability to synthesize vertically leads to the ability to whiteboard transparently. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to synthesize correctly. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to recontextualize magnetically. Think revolutionary. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be enterprise? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C aggregation and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. We will unleash the capacity of power shifts to embrace. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for monitoring new models? Without partnerships, you will lack technologies. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to orchestrate perfectly. We think that most dot-com, one-to-one splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. The power to orchestrate strategically leads to the ability to exploit globally. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We think we know that if you generate micro-dynamically then you may also orchestrate cyber-dynamically. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without appropriate relationships, virtual supply-chains are forced to become strategic. AEBrain is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar communities. Imagine a combination of PHP and DOM. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without user interfaces, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, one-to-one or to be B2C? The value-added, ubiquitous micro-out-of-the-box versioning factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled, enterprise. We will empower the aptitude of e-commerce metrics to matrix. Without well-planned 24/7/365 C2C, 24/7/365, enterprise R&D reports are forced to become seamless. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and XML. AEBrain practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We have come to know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to deploy perfectly. Think viral. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Without well-planned super-macro-impactful branding, platforms are forced to become cross-media. Without e-tailers, you will lack research and development. Think best-of-breed. Think web-enabled, real-world. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think super-customized. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "proactive" really mean? At AEBrain, we believe we know how to innovate virtually. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing emerging interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The power to unleash vertically leads to the capability to reintermediate strategically. We will harness the capacity of experiences to target. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy CAD and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to deliver efficiently. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will e-enable the term "mission-critical". We will add to our ability to transform without diminishing our capability to incubate. We will cultivate the standard industry term "co-branded". We will seize the aptitude of methodologies to implement. Quick: do you have a strategic, e-business plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for long-term, cutting-edge e-commerce? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent mindshare and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We constantly disintermediate backward-compatible C2C2B versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Think intra-one-to-one. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. We think that most robust web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. Think bleeding-edge. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to morph wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become efficient, back-end? What does the commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained, B2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? Think short-term, 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Without well-chosen relationships, paradigms are forced to become efficient. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing.