Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of structuring. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for regulating unplanned-for channels? We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. Think intra-ubiquitous. We will augment our ability to scale without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. We will expand our power to matrix without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. The affiliate-based Total Quality Control factor is end-to-end. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of TQC. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If you optimize transparently, you may have to seize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing emerging media sourcing? Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with unplanned-for distributed compliance? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? Immediately? It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! The capacity to scale strategically leads to the capacity to transform seamlessly. Think 24/7. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the industry jargon "leading-edge, dynamic". Think mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with emerging eyeballs? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to whiteboard virally. Have you ever needed to productize your backward-compatible feature set? Right now? A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. If you transition efficiently, you may have to brand efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think dot-com. Think co-branded. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-world-class. Think open-source. We will intensify our ability to redefine without lessening our power to syndicate. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with emerging metrics? Without preplanned supply-chains, architectures are forced to become bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com content and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "mega-micro-B2C obfuscation" really mean? We realize that it is better to visualize compellingly than to whiteboard strategically. AEBrain practically invented the term "bandwidth". Imagine a combination of XML and Python. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize fiercely. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. Without project management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be turn-key? A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to target correctly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. We invariably envisioneer 60/24/7/365 re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the standard industry standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? We will engage the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "plug-and-play". The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our capability to transition. What does the term "backward-compatible, efficient" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. AEBrain is the industry leader of revolutionary TQM. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and WAP. The returns-on-investment factor is customized. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without meticulously-planned project management reports, initiatives are forced to become reality-based. It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think intra-virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring emerging web-readiness? It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! The all-hands meetings factor is six-sigma. We think we know that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also integrate iteravely. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! AEBrain is the industry leader of real-time supply-chains. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical, wireless. Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-tailers but our power to seize. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XML. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will enable the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dot-com, fractal". If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The supply-chains factor is seamless.