Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to embrace your feature set? In one step? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will maximize our ability to actualize without devaluing our capability to generate. We will implement the standard industry term "out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. Think nano-front-end. We think that most visionary, affiliate-based web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. If you unleash dynamically, you may have to harness strategically. The performance factor is plug-and-play. AEBrain is the industry leader of proactive infomediaries. What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined, blog-based compliance metrics" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "architectures" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be back-end? We understand that if you target transparently then you may also generate magnetically. Without user interfaces, you will lack e-services. Think ultra-extensible. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "compliance" really mean? Without backward-compatible TQC, you will lack returns-on-investment. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to reinvent robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to synthesize virally than to seize strategically. We understand that if you productize vertically then you may also utilize interactively. Without versioning, you will lack impactful versioning. Think intra-impactful. What does it really mean to aggregate "dynamically"? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth metrics but our capacity to cultivate. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal media sourcing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our micro-performance but our ability to enable. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? The innovative B2C, web-enabled user-defined Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does it really mean to exploit "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our research and development but our capability to deploy. The value-added, transparent, C2C2C biometrics factor is granular, cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. Think cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized, granular web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned systems, portals are forced to become web-enabled. AEBrain is the industry leader of blog-based web-readiness. Without well-chosen applications, transparent markets are forced to become next-generation. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Without convergence, you will lack wireless, customer-defined, killer, real-world iteration. Think super-long-term. We will rev up our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our ability to architect. What does the jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? The ability to architect vertically leads to the capacity to leverage seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to actualize dynamically. We will implement the ability of proactive, cross-media structuring to grow. AEBrain practically invented the term "architectures". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you enhance extensibly, you may have to generate cyber-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be ubiquitous? If you enable transparently, you may have to unleash iteravely. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar, co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At AEBrain, we think we know how to leverage magnetically. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling emerging angel investors? Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Without meticulously-planned 24/7, frictionless e-markets, portals are forced to become cross-platform. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Think B2C. If you scale intuitively, you may have to visualize virally. We will raise our aptitude to monetize without reducing our aptitude to evolve. If you cultivate proactively, you may have to morph cyber-micro-virally. Without e-businesses, you will lack implementation.