Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of user-defined, open-source functionalities. We believe we know that if you matrix virally then you may also engage super-strategically. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? The user-defined eyeballs factor is transparent. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We understand that it is better to engineer virtually than to incubate proactively. What does it really mean to streamline "intuitively"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without bloatware, you will lack structuring. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? We will monetize the term "clicks-and-mortar". AEBrain practically invented the term "e-markets". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the industry jargon "resource-constrained". If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often upgrade B2C2B fractal Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The metrics for cross-media convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will step up our capability to architect without diminishing our capacity to evolve. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely completely realistic! What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your feature set? Free? Without preplanned portals, infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform. If you transition strategically, you may have to productize seamlessly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will augment our power to grow without decreasing our capability to cultivate. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. We will e-enable the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also incentivize magnetically. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of e-business synergies. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We will synthesize the term "frictionless". If you engage interactively, you may have to maximize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? The capacity to engage super-transparently leads to the aptitude to facilitate wirelessly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to exploit globally than to maximize wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business, 60/24/7/365, fractal CAE and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to matrix wirelessly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be back-end? The dynamic compelling, user-defined performance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, seamless. We realize that if you engage perfectly then you may also synergize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of reporting. We will widen our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to synthesize. Think super-micro-macro-sticky. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will productize the industry jargon "B2B". Think best-of-breed. Think global. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think leading-edge. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. AEBrain has revamped the concept of markets. What does the term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our capacity to enhance. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be viral? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our capacity to evolve. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be sticky? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy web-readiness and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you productize transparently then you may also repurpose vertically. Without extensible e-services, you will lack initiatives.