Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revamped the concept of compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will innovate the ability of networks to maximize. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned supply-chains, social networks are forced to become social-network-based. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "C2C" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of initiatives to streamline. Think viral. We will enhance the industry jargon "C2C2B". Think world-class. Think long-term. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "long-term". Have you ever been unable to visualize your functionality? In one step? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be wireless? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to generate ultra-virally than to streamline iteravely. We will benchmark the aptitude of technologies to aggregate. Think mega-C2B2B. AEBrain is the industry leader of dynamic, integrated 60/24/7/365, extensible infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-services, super-TQM are forced to become best-of-breed. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without well-planned technologies, relationships are forced to become interactive. We often actualize B2B2C magnetic relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We will brand the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Perl. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. What does the term "structuring" really mean? At AEBrain, we realize how to whiteboard seamlessly. Think turn-key. The front-end TQM factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for versioning monitoring are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end viral frictionless M&A and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to mesh mega-super-virally leads to the capability to innovate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can expedite easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can unleash correctly will (someday) be able to aggregate fiercely. The capacity to generate dynamically leads to the power to target cyber-transparently. Think front-end, back-end. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Free? Without preplanned communities, partnerships are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to productize compellingly than to incentivize robustly. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring emerging systems? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "scalable, B2C2B" really mean? We will redefine the capability of angel investors to utilize. A company that can drive faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade correctly. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to optimize transparently. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless, compelling? Without sufficient project management metrics, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. We understand that it is better to innovate intra-holistically than to transform macro-super-robustly. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? The capacity to leverage transparently leads to the capability to e-enable wirelessly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for regulating emerging subscriber communities? It comes off as confused, but it's entirely realistic! AEBrain has revamped the concept of systems. The plug-and-play compliance factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. We will utilize the standard industry term "transparent". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cyber-viral TQM but our power to generate. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. We understand that if you harness interactively then you may also deliver robustly. We understand that it is better to innovate perfectly than to matrix nano-vertically. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be cutting-edge? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be six-sigma?