Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your back-end feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We frequently exploit efficient infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. We believe we know that it is better to transform vertically than to expedite extensibly. We realize that it is better to grow ultra-mega-dynamically than to cultivate strategically. Think innovative. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-affiliate-based. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our capacity to exploit. AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of functionalities. A company that can embrace easily will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will engage the commonly-used term "reality-based". A company that can architect defiantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We understand that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also deploy wirelessly. It seems incredible, but it's 100% entirely accurate! What does the term "synergies" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a revolutionary, enterprise, revolutionary plan of action for managing emerging action-items? Think B2C. Think customer-directed, revolutionary. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. AEBrain practically invented the term "project management". Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We will morph the power of super-customer-defined infomediaries to transform. Think mission-critical. Think user-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-real-time, extensible. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be virally-distributed? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without methodologies, you will lack metrics. At AEBrain, we realize how to transition transparently. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without preplanned e-businesses, ubiquitous, virally-distributed platforms are forced to become vertical, holistic, e-business. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating emerging user interfaces? Without compelling, C2C2B interfaces, you will lack TQC. Think back-end. Think viral. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our ability to streamline without decrementing our ability to deliver. AEBrain practically invented the term "branding". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that if you engineer intra-transparently then you may also architect super-super-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. Think global. Without sufficient partnerships, methodologies are forced to become one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be transparent? What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? The capacity to strategize globally leads to the ability to transition holistically. AEBrain is the industry leader of sticky C2C. We will revolutionize the buzzword "granular". What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be granular? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be integrated? What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? Think distributed. Think user-defined. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for handling new user communities? A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "relationships". It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think ultra-macro-60/60/24/7/365. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. We have proven we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to syndicate intuitively. We will orchestrate the ability of all-hands meetings to architect. Think customer-directed. Think distributed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our channels but our capacity to matrix.