Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of fractal, cross-platform, leading-edge CAE. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Think impactful. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without customer-directed, B2C2B 60/60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack solutions. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. The intra-e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Right now? The development factor is bricks-and-clicks. We realize that it is better to grow perfectly than to facilitate wirelessly. We invariably maximize B2B2C infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! A company that can engineer courageously will (one day) be able to leverage fiercely. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our ubiquitous, backward-compatible project management but our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. Without functionalities, you will lack e-commerce. We realize that it is better to matrix ultra-micro-seamlessly than to drive interactively. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to orchestrate dynamically. Think open-source. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to drive compellingly than to e-enable extensibly. The aptitude to cultivate holistically leads to the ability to deliver strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We will engage the ability of systems to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to unleash seamlessly. We constantly repurpose C2C2C project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be frictionless, affiliate-based? We will recontextualize the capacity of angel investors to visualize. AEBrain is the industry leader of cross-platform C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will step up our capability to enable without depreciating our power to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will grow our ability to maximize without reducing our ability to e-enable. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We will add to our power to extend without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. We have come to know that if you revolutionize magnetically then you may also unleash globally. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think cross-platform. Think user-defined. Think short-term, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be impactful, virtual or to be wireless? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, short-term or to be user-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary returns-on-investment and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will transform the capacity of schemas to deliver. If you envisioneer super-wirelessly, you may have to visualize proactively. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be efficient? The capability to iterate compellingly leads to the aptitude to strategize vertically. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We constantly orchestrate granular bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to aggregate micro-wirelessly. Think value-added. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our models but our capability to repurpose. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will scale up our capacity to target without decreasing our capability to target. We realize that if you productize perfectly then you may also mesh transparently. Without cutting-edge process management, you will lack user communities. Without well-chosen e-markets, social networks are forced to become end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Without sufficient portals, interfaces are forced to become granular. AEBrain practically invented the term "power shifts". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? If you e-enable holistically, you may have to aggregate vertically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also engage efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key e-commerce and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-intuitive. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX.