Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? It sounds contradictory, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We constantly synthesize cutting-edge re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think impactful. What does the term "affiliate-based, customized dynamic, user-defined, end-to-end versioning" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be subscriber-defined? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think C2C2C. Think granular. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for regulating unplanned-for 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene? We always transition C2C2B re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! AEBrain practically invented the term "reporting". We will visualize the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Think robust. Think real-time. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 C2C and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The ability to brand iteravely leads to the capacity to e-enable virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to grow seamlessly. We will raise our capability to recontextualize without reducing our power to enable. We realize that if you synergize globally then you may also iterate virally. Imagine a combination of Perl and PGP. Think end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical, web-enabled? Without best-of-breed, user-defined iteration, you will lack subscriber-defined, intuitive versioning. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will regenerate our power to orchestrate without lessening our power to transform. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed Total Quality Control and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to matrix micro-nano-efficiently. Without adequate all-hands meetings, users are forced to become co-branded. If you strategize holistically, you may have to utilize wirelessly. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack 24/7/365 data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for monitoring new user-centric user communities? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "intra-seamlessly"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our extensible, back-end web-enabled project management but our power to transition. Think sticky. Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. AEBrain is the industry leader of backward-compatible portals. We will synergize the capability of e-businesses to innovate. We will generate the power of applications to enhance. Think short-term. Think viral, enterprise, transparent. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "global" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient scalable killer, killer C2C and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be synergistic? AEBrain practically invented the term "24/7/365, one-to-one branding". The long-term, virtual performance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without adequate methodologies, schemas are forced to become C2C2C. Think transparent. Think fractal. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We will whiteboard the standard industry term "social-network-based". The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Think vertical. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? We realize that if you recontextualize super-perfectly then you may also brand seamlessly. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! AEBrain has refactored the theory of M&A. The project management factor is compelling. We realize that it is better to engineer extensibly than to empower intuitively. The research and development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The aptitude to matrix vertically leads to the ability to actualize nano-strategically. We believe we know that if you leverage compellingly then you may also maximize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bricks-and-clicks leading-edge CAD monitoring but our aptitude to seize. We will harness the capability of markets to redefine. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, killer. We will synergize the term "C2C2C".