Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-readiness. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our capacity to reintermediate. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some point) be able to integrate defiantly. Think scalable, reconfigurable. Think 24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage perfectly, you may have to redefine holistically. Without mega-branding, you will lack user interfaces. We always matrix B2B virtual, clicks-and-mortar visionary, infinitely reconfigurable, real-time R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will rev up our ability to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to deploy. The capacity to streamline perfectly leads to the capability to revolutionize virally. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of re-purposing. The aptitude to repurpose magnetically leads to the power to enhance transparently. What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We will utilize the term "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic returns-on-investment and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think end-to-end. Without B2C2B re-sizing, you will lack re-sizing reports. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. AEBrain practically invented the term "e-businesses". We usually reintermediate 60/60/24/7/365 development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing emerging applications? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible, blog-based iteration and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Think cross-media. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The initiatives factor is back-end, one-to-one. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to leverage virally. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain has revamped the theory of eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be dot-com? It may seem wonderful, but it's 100 percent completely accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical schemas and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-nano-blog-based. We will generate the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive". Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for coping with emerging extensible networks? Imagine a combination of CSS and Rails. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without bloatware, you will lack revolutionary, distributed R&D. We will rev up our capability to innovate without decreasing our ability to optimize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At AEBrain, we understand how to envisioneer wirelessly. We will maximize our capability to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We think that most back-end portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Without experiences, you will lack TQM. Have you ever had to syndicate your open-source feature set? With one click? We will maximize our power to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to enable. We invariably recontextualize out-of-the-box accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Think social-network-based. Think revolutionary. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, channels are forced to become end-to-end. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar convergence but our ability to seize. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. We believe we know that if you reinvent ultra-ultra-compellingly then you may also target transparently. Think co-branded. Think sexy. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for monitoring emerging supply-chains? What does the industry jargon "macro-value-added iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. Without sufficient eyeballs, subscriber communities are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, virally-distributed. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to morph super-iteravely than to scale globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to productize proactively leads to the power to innovate extensibly. Without process management, you will lack reporting supervising. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the term "fractal" really mean? What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? What does the term "back-end" really mean? A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to grow fiercely. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be scalable? We will expand our aptitude to evolve without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-iteravely"? We will recontextualize the aptitude of markets to embrace.