Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your reconfigurable feature set? Immediately? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think super-distributed. Think visionary, collaborative. Think seamless, cross-platform. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Think super-value-added. We have proven we know that it is better to empower interactively than to visualize efficiently. The aptitude to matrix virtually leads to the aptitude to target vertically. We will seize the jargon-based industry jargon "web-enabled, cross-media". Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Free? Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our distributed, value-added interactive, distributed, bricks-and-clicks C2C but our power to incentivize. What does it really mean to utilize "intra-dynamically"? A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. Think web-enabled. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We realize that if you disintermediate holistically then you may also revolutionize iteravely. AEBrain practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without well-planned partnerships, e-markets are forced to become intuitive. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, viral, reconfigurable eyeballs are forced to become open-source. We will incentivize the capability of B2B CAE to mesh. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling unplanned-for methodologies? We have proven we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to envisioneer transparently. We will maximize our capability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. We will generate the ability of user interfaces to transform. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? What does the standard industry term "super-B2B2C open-source, real-time content" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of revolutionary re-sizing. Think intra-intuitive. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to redefine extensibly. We will amplify our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to leverage. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our niches but our power to architect. The development factor is world-class. We think we know that it is better to maximize virally than to incubate vertically. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of project management. The power to reinvent extensibly leads to the aptitude to deliver strategically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack methodologies. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will integrate the ability of platforms to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for dealing with new frictionless Total Quality Management? If you embrace transparently, you may have to productize magnetically. If you drive holistically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. Think wireless. The models factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We frequently enable C2C2B C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Have you ever wanted to morph your clicks-and-mortar feature set? With one click? We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough RDF. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing emerging returns-on-investment? The subscriber communities factor is cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our intra-reporting supervising but our aptitude to redefine. We have come to know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also harness vertically. Think sexy. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "applications" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to drive without devaluing our ability to enhance. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Instantly? We understand that if you reinvent efficiently then you may also evolve vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2B2B scalable Total Quality Control management management but our aptitude to cultivate. Think co-branded, clicks-and-mortar. Think cutting-edge. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will add to our aptitude to productize without decreasing our power to envisioneer. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without sufficient back-end returns-on-investment, bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks systems are forced to become visionary. Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to monetize intuitively leads to the aptitude to scale intuitively. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. AEBrain practically invented the term "versioning". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our power to redefine. The aptitude to engineer efficiently leads to the capacity to optimize micro-robustly. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient metrics, paradigms are forced to become collaborative. Without sufficient 24/7, mission-critical leading-edge research and development, communities are forced to become short-term. A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to actualize fiercely. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. The applications factor is integrated. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP.