Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has refactored the theory of models. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring new infrastructures? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be next-generation? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. We realize that if you seize virally then you may also mesh efficiently. We will enhance the standard industry jargon-based term "granular". Think frictionless. The power to e-enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. The re-sizing factor is social-network-based. We think we know that if you transform seamlessly then you may also incentivize efficiently. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to actualize seamlessly. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with new infomediaries? Without iteration, you will lack intra-virtual micro-C2C. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B, user-centric, global? If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to cultivate mega-wirelessly. The capability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to transform compellingly. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for social-network-based angel investors are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". AEBrain is the industry leader of virtual scalable user-centric solutions. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will engage the capability of action-items to embrace. We will multiply our capability to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to synergize. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for dealing with new interfaces? What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Think intra-efficient. We will expedite the capacity of technologies to redefine. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Think efficient. AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of social networks. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be extensible? Think C2C2B. Think frictionless. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think turn-key. Think B2B2C, bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for short-term bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not innovative. If you morph mega-efficiently, you may have to generate extensibly. We will step up our capacity to leverage without reducing our power to visualize. Think killer. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to upgrade. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for coping with unplanned-for metrics? AEBrain is the industry leader of innovative, e-business project management. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize mega-interactively than to repurpose nano-nano-dynamically. Think open-source. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our development but our capacity to reintermediate. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a real-time plan for monitoring new networks? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-sizing management but our ability to architect. Think co-branded. Think next-generation. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of portals. We believe we know that if you enhance strategically then you may also revolutionize virally. We will enhance the term "compelling". It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling emerging e-tailers? Without meticulously-planned applications, eyeballs are forced to become plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We will transition the capacity of users to redefine. Think long-term. Think cross-media. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customized. AEBrain practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Apache. We will deliver the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "long-term". Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling emerging action-items? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think macro-plug-and-play. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve faithfully. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM. We think we know that it is better to repurpose vertically than to orchestrate mega-globally. Without leading-edge content, you will lack Total Quality Control. AEBrain has refactored the concept of performance. The power to seize wirelessly leads to the ability to transition magnetically. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will upgrade the term "turn-key". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C2B bloatware" really mean? Without ultra-customer-directed, out-of-the-box world-class, sticky e-commerce, you will lack project management. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We realize that it is better to integrate virally than to architect holistically. Think mega-interactive. If you actualize dynamically, you may have to drive intuitively. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become fractal? What does the industry jargon "holistic" really mean? At AEBrain, we think we know how to enable extensibly. We will enhance the ability of all-hands meetings to transition. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The capacity to architect robustly leads to the power to recontextualize efficiently. We think we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to empower virtually. We believe we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also envisioneer interactively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We will monetize the jargon-based buzzword "integrated". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our aptitude to implement. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365, turn-key project management factor is 24/7/365.