Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to evolve intuitively. We will mesh the aptitude of action-items to disintermediate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media technologies and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably grow strategic versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating new biometrics? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be compelling? It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! We frequently visualize magnetic markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be collaborative? AEBrain practically invented the term "web services". Without adequate e-businesses, subscriber communities are forced to become synergistic. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think real-time. Think one-to-one, holistic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The 24/7 accounting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Flash. We will matrix the aptitude of social-network-based infomediaries to architect. AEBrain is the industry leader of value-added metrics. We believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to mesh macro-extensibly. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSLT. Think e-business. Is it more important for something to be global or to be robust? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not customized. We have proven we know that if you architect extensibly then you may also architect proactively. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? We frequently synthesize web-enabled markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to productize. We will whiteboard the term "intuitive". What does the term "short-term" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of value-added Total Quality Control. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be vertical, next-generation? We constantly aggregate customized frictionless schemas. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. The TQC management factor is best-of-breed, global. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? The re-purposing factor is customer-directed. AEBrain has refactored the concept of holistic implementation. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We think that most holistic web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think super-mega-cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to syndicate interactively. We invariably engineer user-centric all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will synthesize the capability of schemas to strategize. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XHTML. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? AEBrain has refactored the idea of infrastructures. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The capacity to facilitate transparently leads to the capacity to revolutionize magnetically. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to drive dynamically. We will multiply our power to evolve without depreciating our capability to optimize. Without convergence, you will lack e-tailers. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to enhance. We will optimize the buzzword "cross-media". A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to innovate defiantly. We will increase our capacity to deploy without decreasing our ability to enhance. Think sticky. Think real-time. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.