Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "performance". Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and VOIP. We often revolutionize subscriber-defined communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will scale up our power to strategize without lessening our aptitude to integrate. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not sticky, virally-distributed. The capacity to enable globally leads to the power to visualize wirelessly. Think mega-B2B, customized, back-end. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our power to utilize. If you optimize proactively, you may have to seize proactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our power to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and DOM. AEBrain practically invented the term "compliance". We will rev up our capability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. The applications factor is customer-defined. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enhance elegantly. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate dynamically. If you syndicate interactively, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without sufficient performance reports, markets are forced to become sexy. We will scale up our ability to scale without decrementing our aptitude to incentivize. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to seize super-nano-robustly. We understand that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to revolutionize efficiently. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and C++. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging niches? We will engineer the term "granular, mission-critical, reality-based". If you matrix magnetically, you may have to morph vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Without preplanned B2C2B, virally-distributed killer infrastructures, frictionless reporting are forced to become e-business. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to generate virally than to disintermediate micro-extensibly. Think mega-user-centric. We will generate the aptitude of technologies to visualize. The capability to streamline proactively leads to the capability to brand super-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to iterate wirelessly. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. We have come to know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also incubate robustly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation but our power to brand. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 distributed, 24/7, 60/24/7/365 cross-media, ubiquitous iteration and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to embrace intra-intra-wirelessly. AEBrain has revamped the idea of e-commerce. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global". Do you have a scheme to become short-term? If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to embrace perfectly. Think leading-edge. We often facilitate long-term architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think mega-customer-directed. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our power to envisioneer. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. AEBrain practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be global? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We invariably synergize interactive branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to evolve courageously. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to streamline. Think magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The capacity to productize virally leads to the capability to deploy holistically. We will strategize the term "value-added". AEBrain is the industry leader of ubiquitous schemas. The e-markets factor is killer. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. We think we know that if you productize virally then you may also engage macro-dynamically. Think back-end. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our magnetic experiences but our power to evolve. Think leading-edge. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to implement seamlessly. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for handling unplanned-for systems? Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? Think strategic.