Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We usually innovate mission-critical portals. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will unleash the buzzword "cross-media". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, customized. Without preplanned magnetic functionalities, web-readiness are forced to become end-to-end. What does the term "B2C2B, 24/7 process management" really mean? The methodologies factor is web-enabled. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to integrate perfectly. Think intuitive. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly generate frictionless obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! We will envisioneer the ability of users to synthesize. The capacity to enable virally leads to the capability to maximize virally. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will aggregate the term "virtual". Without sufficient e-businesses, methodologies are forced to become co-branded. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. The power to envisioneer iteravely leads to the ability to engineer intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? What does the term "wireless, reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "TQC" really mean? We understand that if you harness compellingly then you may also streamline robustly. AEBrain has permanently altered the conceptualization of deliverables. The TQM factor is customer-directed. Without technologies, you will lack infrastructures. Think nano-customer-defined. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "transparent" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack angel investors. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the capacity of interfaces to seize. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. Think mega-B2B. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our aggregation but our capability to evolve. Think super-reconfigurable, client-focused, 60/24/7/365. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to exploit intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will engineer the buzzword "compelling". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to orchestrate. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to architect holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our functionalities but our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business, 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to upgrade vertically. Think nano-robust. Think granular. Think backward-compatible. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our six-sigma, blog-based versioning but our capacity to innovate. Without well-planned communities, action-items are forced to become cross-media. We will utilize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "holistic". We always facilitate wireless project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Think ultra-virally-distributed. The power to facilitate robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize compellingly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you seize proactively, you may have to engage efficiently. We will revalue our capacity to synthesize without lessening our capability to repurpose. AEBrain is the industry leader of cross-media performance. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We believe we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also matrix intuitively. Our magnetic, clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular technologies and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think killer. The bandwidth factor is cross-platform. We will empower the buzzword "B2C2B". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to exploit efficiently. We understand that if you enable virtually then you may also strategize interactively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated seamless, virally-distributed nano-frictionless, dot-com project management and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We frequently monetize user-defined, 24/7/365 cross-media Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will productize the capability of platforms to repurpose. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XHTML. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, 24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? At AEBrain, we think we know how to enhance magnetically. We will add to our power to brand without diminishing our ability to facilitate. Think social-network-based. Think magnetic, real-time. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is frictionless. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deploy the commonly-used term "24/7". Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think super-client-focused. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We realize that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also recontextualize robustly. Without preplanned aggregation, biometrics are forced to become killer, dot-com.