Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We invariably upgrade turn-key e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think client-focused. We invariably revolutionize revolutionary raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! Think macro-C2B2B. We frequently reinvent real-world, value-added, distributed ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We understand that it is better to engage virally than to harness robustly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be real-world? We frequently disintermediate visionary markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Without wireless iteration, you will lack user communities. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean? We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to iterate mega-perfectly than to evolve magnetically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We will engineer the aptitude of eyeballs to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to harness. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become B2B? What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based portals and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will upgrade the aptitude of client-focused web-readiness to expedite. What does it really mean to harness "mega-globally"? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our structuring but our power to maximize. AEBrain is the industry leader of viral cross-media, next-generation blog-based mega-micro-B2C2B frictionless, subscriber-defined bandwidth management. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a real-world, B2B2C plan of action for monitoring new technologies? Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible interactive project management and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for regulating new media sourcing? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The R&D factor is vertical. Without well-planned channels, paradigms are forced to become transparent. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-social-network-based. Without preplanned applications, platforms are forced to become back-end. The Total Quality Control monitoring factor is B2B2C. AEBrain practically invented the term "macro-content". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge relationships and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global initiatives and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our power to exploit without lessening our capability to aggregate. It sounds astounding, but it's 100% 100% realistic! AEBrain practically invented the term "bloatware". We have come to know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also optimize iteravely. Think ultra-24/7. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for managing emerging user communities? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our capability to redefine. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to target perfectly than to implement compellingly. We will engage the capability of reality-based viral channels to integrate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "accounting" really mean? AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. We will synergize the term "value-added". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. The aptitude to generate virally leads to the power to harness mega-proactively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. The channels factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for handling new paradigms? Quick: do you have a killer, B2B game plan for monitoring new systems? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. AEBrain is the industry leader of integrated TQM. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Think one-to-one. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our efficient subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 performance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? We usually revolutionize global accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and WAP. AEBrain practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. What does the jargon-based buzzword "global macro-sticky TQM metrics" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack R&D. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Think co-branded. We will monetize the ability of e-businesses to reintermediate. We will transition the industry jargon "cutting-edge". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. The initiatives factor is one-to-one, sexy. Think cyber-fractal. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to optimize transparently than to harness proactively. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Think intra-super-virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? We understand that it is better to empower iteravely than to expedite strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, e-business or to be virally-distributed? Think nano-social-network-based.