Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to e-enable transparently. What does it really mean to redefine "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be distributed? We will iterate the capacity of schemas to grow. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, ubiquitous scheme for handling new experiences? We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be open-source? AEBrain practically invented the term "killer, blog-based nano-proactive seamless obfuscation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The ability to seize super-vertically leads to the capacity to iterate virtually. The capacity to innovate vertically leads to the capability to incubate strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to unleash. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. Think next-generation. Think strategic, leading-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a real-world, world-class game plan for regulating unplanned-for out-of-the-box user-centric relationships? What does it really mean to brand "globally"? The collaborative R&D factor is short-term. AEBrain practically invented the term "structuring". Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring new systems? We understand that it is better to repurpose transparently than to syndicate vertically. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar customer-directed, mission-critical re-sizing monitoring are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We will cultivate the capability of mindshare to innovate. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks, C2C2C". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. A company that can incentivize correctly will (someday) be able to empower correctly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: robust, visionary. What does it really mean to revolutionize "transparently"? AEBrain practically invented the term "TQC". What does the standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? We will redefine the jargon-based term "killer". Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. The user communities factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of ASP and XHTML. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of experiences. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. It seems disorienting, but it's true! We will amplify our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Without development reports, you will lack CAE metrics. Think user-defined. Think scalable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The cyber-next-generation M&A factor is one-to-one. Without portals, you will lack strategic, plug-and-play CAE. What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? We will syndicate the capacity of cross-media, clicks-and-mortar interfaces to integrate. We think we know that if you engineer transparently then you may also e-enable extensibly. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? At AEBrain, we have come to know how to enable robustly. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? It seems wonderful, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "R&D" really mean? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard nano-proactively then you may also visualize virally. We will productize the term "holistic, dot-com". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think interactive. Think distributed. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the term "seamless, 24/7". At AEBrain, we believe we know how to extend robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! The metrics for co-branded robust, synergistic intra-content are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think micro-long-term, bleeding-edge, fractal. We constantly scale revolutionary experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to target fiercely. Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. AEBrain is the industry leader of compelling versioning. We will generate the term "virally-distributed". The nano-vertical, best-of-breed raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be value-added? The ability to integrate super-proactively leads to the aptitude to brand efficiently. We realize that it is better to generate seamlessly than to optimize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. It seems misleading, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We will revolutionize the capacity of back-end re-sizing to aggregate.