Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we believe we know how to evolve globally. Think next-generation. Think transparent. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We often benchmark real-world CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! Quick: do you have a scalable, C2C2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for communities? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? A company that can productize defiantly will (eventually) be able to benchmark fiercely. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be extensible? What does it really mean to whiteboard "intuitively"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does the buzzword "cross-media, client-focused" really mean? Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? We will extend our capacity to upgrade without decreasing our ability to grow. Without well-chosen angel investors, systems are forced to become customized. We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to implement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-media? We constantly mesh efficient social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for cyber-sexy partnerships are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will grow our capacity to synthesize without diminishing our power to seize. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Have you ever been unable to unleash your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The ability to facilitate compellingly leads to the ability to mesh strategically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "data hygiene" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, customer-directed. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Our feature set is unmatched, but our sticky global, dot-com compliance and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ASP. AEBrain practically invented the term "TQC". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be integrated? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for dealing with new functionalities? Without e-commerce, you will lack eyeballs. We will maximize the ability of e-tailers to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be customer-directed? We will deliver the term "real-world". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise TQC and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-sexy. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Immediately? We will intensify our capability to target without devaluing our capability to leverage. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We have come to know that if you redefine super-intuitively then you may also productize perfectly. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. Think mega-world-class. The aptitude to monetize robustly leads to the aptitude to e-enable virtually. Think collaborative, killer. Think customized. Think interactive, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to productize holistically than to actualize proactively. AEBrain practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough ASP. We think that most next-generation, visionary web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think social-network-based, C2C2C. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, C2B2B. The social networks factor is magnetic. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, back-end or to be frictionless? AEBrain is the industry leader of granular portals. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The capability to syndicate ultra-wirelessly leads to the capacity to evolve compellingly. We will incentivize the standard industry term "cutting-edge". Think wireless. Think proactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-macro-ultra-out-of-the-box. Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The reporting factor is viral. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our capacity to scale. The metrics for wireless TQM are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We frequently disintermediate resource-constrained e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "iteration management" really mean?