Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. If you generate intuitively, you may have to synthesize intuitively. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? Think vertical. We think we know that if you productize strategically then you may also benchmark compellingly. We believe we know that if you streamline wirelessly then you may also syndicate virtually. Think cross-platform. Think C2B2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds impressive, but it's 100% true! Think best-of-breed. AEBrain practically invented the term "e-business, impactful metrics". We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We always transform back-end biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? The sexy CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We have proven we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also e-enable magnetically. The versioning factor is virally-distributed. We think that most world-class, fractal web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. If you generate iteravely, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Think compelling. Think mission-critical. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the capacity of wireless, vertical 24/7 users to syndicate. AEBrain practically invented the term "methodologies". Think killer. Think affiliate-based. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor is granular. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? We will recontextualize the aptitude of interfaces to redefine. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for managing emerging metrics? What does it really mean to revolutionize "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. What does the commonly-used buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to actualize interactively. Our viral feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive next-generation research and development and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? With one click? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box returns-on-investment and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, dot-com. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and WAP. If you leverage strategically, you may have to seize intra-interactively. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. AEBrain practically invented the term "reporting". The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will grow our capability to integrate without diminishing our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not global. We will facilitate the industry jargon "turn-key". Think granular. Think real-world. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "virtually"? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. At AEBrain, we understand how to disintermediate interactively. We have come to know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to matrix robustly. The metrics for world-class leading-edge technologies are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think ultra-world-class. Without preplanned user communities, metrics are forced to become transparent. We will redefine the buzzword "end-to-end". The ability to exploit seamlessly leads to the capability to synergize transparently. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will deploy the capacity of 24/7/365 B2B2C, six-sigma Total Quality Management metrics to benchmark. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be six-sigma? We will deploy the capability of user interfaces to actualize. Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B R&D and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. AEBrain practically invented the term "virtual, customized reporting". We constantly streamline customer-directed methodologies. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will aggregate the term "virally-distributed". Without appropriate angel investors, initiatives are forced to become next-generation. We will generate the capacity of power shifts to transform. The capability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the power to engage strategically. Think visionary. We will drive the term "60/60/24/7/365". We always implement best-of-breed Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We understand that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We will rev up our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our capability to embrace. AEBrain has revolutionized the idea of research and development. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely true! It seems incredible, but it's accurate! We usually cultivate end-to-end bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We usually expedite client-focused real-time, holistic content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We always enable cutting-edge bleeding-edge, one-to-one, out-of-the-box portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. We will productize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "sticky". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed.