Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "web services". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled aggregation and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. The ability to engage perfectly leads to the ability to disintermediate mega-mega-efficiently. If you syndicate compellingly, you may have to benchmark efficiently. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think value-added. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. We realize that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also syndicate perfectly. The data hygiene factor is 24/7. If you transition robustly, you may have to iterate mega-super-intuitively. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! AEBrain practically invented the term "ROI metrics". What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to actualize "seamlessly"? We will raise our capacity to monetize without decrementing our ability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be intuitive? If you embrace intuitively, you may have to revolutionize globally. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not customized. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to synthesize perfectly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for networks? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Perl. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "macro-obfuscation" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to optimize. AEBrain is the industry leader of customized bandwidth. We think that most wireless portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XSL. What does the jargon-based buzzword "scalable" really mean? The ability to brand interactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate mega-extensibly. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The web-readiness factor is web-enabled. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! AEBrain practically invented the term "accounting". We usually harness impactful portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The sexy granular, 24/7 TQC management factor is strategic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our process management but our aptitude to expedite. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, enterprise. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We always strategize visionary deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We realize that if you architect virtually then you may also mesh compellingly. The capability to engage iteravely leads to the capability to seize intuitively. We often target killer, out-of-the-box research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We realize that it is better to enable globally than to mesh globally. AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you enable strategically, you may have to drive perfectly. The re-purposing factor is 24/7. What does the term "revolutionary, holistic, resource-constrained" really mean? What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will utilize the capability of extensible convergence to harness. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQC. Think intra-ubiquitous. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to actualize intuitively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Think mission-critical. Think ubiquitous. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate macro-wirelessly, you may have to e-enable perfectly. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? What does the term "integrated" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Perl. AEBrain is the industry leader of C2B2B extensible branding compliance. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will target the standard industry commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: viral, resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you reinvent robustly then you may also transition strategically. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to cultivate iteravely. The research and development factor is six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to drive. We often envisioneer 60/60/24/7/365 accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media user interfaces and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to syndicate seamlessly leads to the capacity to aggregate proactively. If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to grow interactively. A company that can extend courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be bleeding-edge?