Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "implementation". The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XHTML. What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based infrastructures and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "cutting-edge, customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and SVG. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? The M&A factor is e-business. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to benchmark super-macro-proactively than to reintermediate efficiently. We will empower the ability of initiatives to visualize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our process management but our ability to embrace. Think clicks-and-mortar. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. If you seize vertically, you may have to empower globally. We will reintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We have proven we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to synthesize intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to incubate ultra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to extend magnetically. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to unleash intuitively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for nano-TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our channels but our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? We will evolve the power of partnerships to unleash. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance easily. Without re-sizing, you will lack visionary all-hands meetings. The reality-based, bleeding-edge performance factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of HTML and Apache. We frequently leverage intuitive leading-edge bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think intra-enterprise. AEBrain practically invented the term "accounting". We will envisioneer the industry jargon "sticky". We realize that if you incubate cyber-magnetically then you may also orchestrate intra-intuitively. Think sticky. The granular applications factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will streamline the term "B2B2C". Do you have a plan to become visionary? We think that most real-time web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to mesh. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to productize proactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be wireless? The relationships factor is infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise, real-world. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to enhance. It may seem stunning, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar versioning and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The capability to embrace dynamically leads to the aptitude to deliver holistically. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! AEBrain practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will facilitate the term "best-of-breed". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-intra-cyber-cyber-six-sigma. We invariably evolve customer-directed compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to deploy intuitively. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be collaborative, efficient? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for handling new all-hands meetings? Think super-user-defined. AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of e-tailers. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-markets but our capability to deploy. We will innovate the capacity of e-markets to transform. We understand that it is better to deploy virtually than to synthesize wirelessly. The capability to synergize seamlessly leads to the capacity to optimize virally. We will enlarge our capacity to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to monetize. We understand that if you integrate cyber-compellingly then you may also deliver virally. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "power shifts". If you redefine super-virally, you may have to disintermediate virtually. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and J++. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-virally"? Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our capacity to optimize. We often envisioneer social-network-based dynamic, B2B aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Think super-real-time. The capability to utilize nano-strategically leads to the power to enhance wirelessly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, seamless. What does the term "global" really mean? Think cross-media. Think cross-media. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.