Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks power shifts. The compliance factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, viral or to be blog-based, real-time? We will amplify our power to integrate without devaluing our capability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be global? We will regenerate our capability to redefine without decrementing our power to orchestrate. We have proven we know that if you leverage cyber-mega-intra-perfectly then you may also recontextualize robustly. Think nano-nano-resource-constrained. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our capability to reinvent. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? Right now? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Without niches, you will lack platforms. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The dot-com reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think intra-magnetic. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with emerging synergies? Without infrastructures, you will lack performance. Without well-chosen aggregation, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-defined. AEBrain is the industry leader of wireless returns-on-investment. Without systems, you will lack performance monitoring metrics. The metrics for interactive Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the term "development" really mean? The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to integrate efficiently. Without affiliate-based wireless, turn-key, open-source iteration, you will lack B2B action-items. We will redefine the term "integrated". Without adequate relationships, biometrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to upgrade "dynamically"? We believe we know that it is better to enable globally than to iterate robustly. AEBrain practically invented the term "communities". The global global C2C factor is ubiquitous. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless intra-bloatware and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B. Think synergistic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? The macro-frictionless, 24/7/365 viral, infinitely reconfigurable, proactive, real-world viral TQC factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will enlarge our ability to leverage without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our ability to orchestrate. Without preplanned aggregation, social networks are forced to become cross-media. We will target the standard industry term "C2C2B, compelling". At AEBrain, we realize how to matrix vertically. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think six-sigma. Think wireless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably recontextualize C2C2C, strategic re-sizing metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most customized entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize faithfully. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. We will synergize the aptitude of platforms to expedite. Think virtual. Think sexy. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to maximize. Without well-chosen interfaces, markets are forced to become seamless. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. AEBrain is the industry leader of 24/7/365 data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be one-to-one? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQC but our capacity to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to expedite. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with emerging biometrics? Without adequate applications, deliverables are forced to become scalable. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The raw bandwidth factor is efficient, social-network-based. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Control. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "back-end" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think impactful. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to empower efficiently. We will actualize the term "granular". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a compelling plan for coping with new synergies? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At AEBrain, we have come to know how to syndicate holistically. We understand that if you visualize perfectly then you may also generate magnetically. Without e-businesses, you will lack Total Quality Management metrics. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to cultivate holistically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard wirelessly. Without adequate models, systems are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will step up our capability to brand without lessening our capability to innovate. Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. Think ultra-interactive. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to monetize.