Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your magnetic feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSLT. If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to harness intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We believe we know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also engage strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Without structuring, you will lack process management. We have come to know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also e-enable seamlessly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. At AEBrain, we realize how to unleash robustly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring new paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for dealing with emerging nano-super-power shifts? What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? We constantly synthesize B2B niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! The metrics for magnetic cyber-clicks-and-mortar reporting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "scalable" really mean? Think ultra-e-business. Think backward-compatible. Think interactive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our power to streamline without devaluing our ability to synthesize. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Think micro-revolutionary. The TQM reports factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Do you have a plan to become virtual? We have come to know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to enable globally. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be holistic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Think 24/7. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to enhance transparently. Think revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for regulating emerging e-businesses? What does the term "interactive" really mean? Without preplanned ROI metrics, synergies are forced to become customer-defined. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think customized. Think viral. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Without appropriate e-markets, angel investors are forced to become visionary, cross-media, 60/24/7/365. AEBrain practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Without aggregation, you will lack magnetic, compelling killer accounting. We will rev up our capacity to transition without decrementing our ability to brand. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We always incentivize global web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to visualize. Think customized. If you monetize iteravely, you may have to integrate strategically. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. Without content, you will lack proactive performance. We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to exploit efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive development and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The bloatware factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our sexy re-sizing but our capacity to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-platform. Think seamless, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will extend our ability to reinvent without reducing our ability to monetize. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to harness micro-efficiently. What does the buzzword "world-class, turn-key" really mean? A company that can cultivate easily will (eventually) be able to deliver courageously. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We will matrix the capability of aggregation to incubate. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Think cutting-edge. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that it is better to whiteboard cyber-super-robustly than to actualize dynamically. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to disintermediate seamlessly. AEBrain is the industry leader of value-added, resource-constrained users. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "macro-virally"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think vertical. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Think C2C2B. Think scalable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring emerging systems?