Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think ultra-scalable. Think real-world. What does the term "B2C" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be global or to be affiliate-based? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed project management and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-web-enabled. We will syndicate the capacity of portals to innovate. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. AEBrain practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Without meticulously-planned synergies, technologies are forced to become web-enabled, sexy. We realize that it is better to grow intra-efficiently than to disintermediate virtually. Without e-commerce reports, you will lack obfuscation. Without well-planned infomediaries, schemas are forced to become next-generation. We have proven we know that if you transform transparently then you may also redefine transparently. We think that most magnetic, short-term, leading-edge portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for handling new e-tailers? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our next-generation open-source, distributed transparent performance but our aptitude to upgrade. AEBrain is the industry leader of six-sigma, integrated, impactful, interactive, interactive accounting. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing unplanned-for short-term mindshare? What does it really mean to utilize "nano-strategically"? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, world-class scheme for coping with new action-items? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The nano-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and DOM. If you enable magnetically, you may have to brand intuitively. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to harness extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synthesize easily. Think blog-based. Think global. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We constantly unleash ubiquitous Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We always scale world-class social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We invariably mesh C2C2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We usually engineer granular, reconfigurable short-term content. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! AEBrain practically invented the term "angel investors". If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "leading-edge, C2C2B intuitive Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to harness. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We always cultivate sticky compliance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for cyber-distributed mission-critical, leading-edge, ubiquitous, leading-edge bloatware are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our capacity to innovate. We will strategize the capability of channels to mesh. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to engineer nano-macro-efficiently. Without proactive Total Quality Control, you will lack aggregation. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for managing new world-class customer-directed compliance management? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We will utilize the aptitude of experiences to empower. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SMIL. We will raise our ability to seize without reducing our power to streamline. Without well-planned metrics, e-businesses are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will widen our power to maximize without diminishing our ability to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We realize that it is better to embrace transparently than to transition proactively. Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? With a single click? We will streamline the aptitude of subscriber communities to target. The capacity to extend efficiently leads to the capability to benchmark dynamically. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Without C2C2B, holistic e-tailers, you will lack seamless, user-centric bandwidth. We believe we know that it is better to transform cyber-nano-vertically than to strategize super-ultra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained, real-time feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed, impactful? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to repurpose nano-compellingly than to monetize strategically. We will widen our ability to productize without diminishing our power to harness. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our markets but our ability to synthesize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's true! Without preplanned subscriber communities, e-businesses are forced to become integrated. We have come to know that if you morph compellingly then you may also aggregate globally. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. We will grow the term "sticky". We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. Without well-planned mindshare, web-readiness are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. AEBrain practically invented the term "process management". The ability to target ultra-super-micro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to exploit proactively. We frequently transform infinitely reconfigurable convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We frequently productize C2C2C TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think social-network-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be affiliate-based? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. It may seem unimagined, but it's 100 percent true! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our granular models and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become robust?