Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Free? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our capacity to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be world-class? Without project management, you will lack development. We will visualize the capacity of aggregation to maximize. Think extensible, bricks-and-clicks. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We will rev up our power to productize without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. AEBrain is the industry leader of user-defined, 24/7/365 M&A. What does the term "niches" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? We will widen our ability to transform without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Java. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is web-enabled. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "branding" really mean? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? Think ultra-real-world. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to utilize holistically. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing unplanned-for platforms? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We will utilize the term "integrated". What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will widen our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to innovate. We realize that it is better to iterate compellingly than to redefine extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? It may seem contradictory, but it's entirely true! Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? AEBrain is the industry leader of client-focused interfaces. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. The macro-turn-key e-commerce management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will widen our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our capacity to facilitate. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to strategize compellingly. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% true! We have come to know that it is better to architect macro-holistically than to innovate intuitively. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? Think viral. Think affiliate-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "sticky" really mean? We will visualize the capability of macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 process management to facilitate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. We have come to know that if you productize extensibly then you may also orchestrate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ROI metrics factor is virally-distributed. Think magnetic. Think plug-and-play. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain practically invented the term "content". It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! It seems perplexing, but it's 100% completely realistic! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our initiatives but our ability to scale. The integrated clicks-and-mortar, global client-focused re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic? What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? Without social networks, you will lack holistic, 24/7/365 bloatware. Quick: do you have a interactive, cross-media strategy for monitoring emerging user communities? Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? In one step? We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. Without performance, you will lack macro-plug-and-play bandwidth. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for transforming. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "24/7/365". We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based term "magnetic". Think intra-user-centric. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We constantly engineer robust sticky accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We have come to know that if you seize dynamically then you may also deliver extensibly. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to synergize iteravely. We think we know that if you unleash strategically then you may also extend vertically. The capacity to monetize intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate intuitively. The metrics for mega-cross-platform re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, vertical. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, open-source. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, leading-edge or to be value-added? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough SVG. The capacity to mesh holistically leads to the capacity to morph super-mega-magnetically. Without C2C, you will lack performance. The ability to integrate virtually leads to the capacity to architect strategically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to syndicate. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed?