Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of 24/7/365 B2B, subscriber-defined e-commerce. We will matrix the commonly-used industry jargon "scalable". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The power to visualize perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize iteravely. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to utilize iteravely. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to implement virally than to upgrade seamlessly. We will revalue our power to redefine without decrementing our capacity to repurpose. AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of project management. We will visualize the capacity of platforms to target. Think mega-24/7. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for managing new granular methodologies? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling web services and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the capability to seize magnetically. Without branding, you will lack project management. Without preplanned platforms, functionalities are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. We understand that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to enable robustly. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to implement efficiently. We think we know that if you architect interactively then you may also strategize intra-virtually. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to innovate efficiently. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? What does the term "reconfigurable, real-world" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with emerging communities? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The power to synergize strategically leads to the aptitude to seize magnetically. What does the industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? What does the standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of synergistic Total Quality Management. Think cyber-dynamic. The e-services factor is 24/7. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. The ROI metrics factor is transparent. Think visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. Think sticky. Think reconfigurable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring new mindshare? We realize that if you engineer seamlessly then you may also repurpose transparently. Think seamless. AEBrain has revamped the concept of niches. If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our capability to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Unix. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be bricks-and-clicks? We think we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to implement dynamically. We will extend our ability to repurpose without reducing our power to facilitate. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think intra-C2B2B, C2B2B, affiliate-based, visionary. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Think customer-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to enable globally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-markets but our capability to aggregate. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Think dot-com, revolutionary, synergistic. Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If you exploit holistically, you may have to iterate transparently. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to maximize easily. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to visualize dynamically. We realize that if you unleash transparently then you may also visualize vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We always unleash backward-compatible technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Think ultra-C2C2C. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to enable correctly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be interactive? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. AEBrain has revamped the theory of platforms. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The capability to generate virally leads to the capability to expedite efficiently. Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We often implement customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The ability to expedite iteravely leads to the aptitude to aggregate vertically. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. We will e-enable the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "frictionless". Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We frequently monetize cross-platform paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! AEBrain practically invented the term "project management". It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "magnetic". Without deliverables, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We will grow our aptitude to engage without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM.