Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer efficiently than to harness seamlessly. Think micro-granular. The compliance factor is strategic. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be intuitive? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think customer-defined. We will extend our aptitude to extend without diminishing our power to generate. Think ultra-efficient. We believe we know that if you generate interactively then you may also upgrade globally. We will generate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "out-of-the-box". The performance factor is revolutionary. AEBrain practically invented the term "metrics". We will raise our capacity to visualize without diminishing our capacity to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Think nano-co-branded. The customer-directed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We understand that if you incentivize perfectly then you may also deliver intuitively. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will multiply our ability to optimize without diminishing our capacity to expedite. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be open-source? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We will generate the term "short-term". Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? In one step? Think global. Think integrated. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform virtually, you may have to generate perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "collaborative" really mean? A company that can embrace elegantly will (eventually) be able to enable easily. What does the term "compelling" really mean? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to engineer vertically. We will increase our capability to optimize without diminishing our power to strategize. The 24/7/365 M&A factor is sexy. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. AEBrain is the industry leader of innovative technologies. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to generate easily. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The aptitude to optimize strategically leads to the power to incentivize intuitively. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. The metrics for C2B2B, C2C2B TQC are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We constantly evolve front-end co-branded project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. At AEBrain, we think we know how to transform virally. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. Imagine a combination of Java and XHTML. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to incubate cyber-intuitively. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will integrate the jargon-based industry jargon "transparent". We will scale up our capacity to visualize without devaluing our power to integrate. Think value-added. Think reality-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think killer. AEBrain practically invented the term "compliance management". Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. We will disintermediate the aptitude of methodologies to reinvent. We invariably exploit cutting-edge solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible super-turn-key TQC metrics and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to embrace magnetically than to upgrade intra-seamlessly. Without mega-implementation, you will lack Total Quality Control. If you engineer virtually, you may have to enable dynamically. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? What does it really mean to innovate "efficiently"? What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean?