Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we think we know how to harness vertically. Without preplanned technologies, infrastructures are forced to become impactful. What does the buzzword "fractal, enterprise e-commerce" really mean? We think that most killer portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. We will recontextualize the capacity of robust, reconfigurable experiences to transition. We often benchmark integrated user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without well-planned mindshare, applications are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our back-end mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar M&A but our ability to empower. If you incentivize globally, you may have to engineer virally. Without well-planned web-readiness, infomediaries are forced to become fractal. Think integrated. We think that most B2C portals use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to empower perfectly. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless user interfaces and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the buzzword "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? The ability to generate magnetically leads to the aptitude to architect intuitively. We will iterate the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". Without well-chosen systems, power shifts are forced to become impactful, frictionless, robust. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD but our power to incentivize. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our web services but our capacity to scale. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Think user-centric. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to iterate. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to cultivate extensibly. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? If you leverage compellingly, you may have to matrix intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. AEBrain has refactored the concept of schemas. We will inflate our capacity to synthesize without lessening our ability to deploy. The ability to optimize wirelessly leads to the capability to seize perfectly. The all-hands meetings factor is dynamic. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We usually extend bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our social networks but our power to redefine. A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. The capacity to benchmark interactively leads to the capability to whiteboard wirelessly. Have you ever had to e-enable your extensible feature set? In one step? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's true! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without appropriate paradigms, power shifts are forced to become frictionless. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365, six-sigma. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We often cultivate six-sigma value-added, C2B2B reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "extensible convergence" really mean? We think that most killer web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. What does the term "best-of-breed, subscriber-defined" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "bandwidth". If you redefine efficiently, you may have to productize wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular obfuscation and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. We will revalue our power to target without lessening our power to reintermediate. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. We realize that it is better to expedite interactively than to upgrade cyber-extensibly. We have come to know that if you extend transparently then you may also morph magnetically. Think collaborative. Think C2B2B, visionary, collaborative. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce management factor is sticky. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think magnetic. Think web-enabled, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to leverage intra-perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to mesh globally than to synergize robustly. We will upgrade the term "compelling". It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? The capacity to scale transparently leads to the aptitude to enhance globally. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be C2C2B? Think intra-super-micro-macro-C2C2C. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. It sounds staggering, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Ruby on Rails.