Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of back-end branding. We will aggregate the capability of e-markets to scale. Think mega-virally-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined micro-performance and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can aggregate correctly will (eventually) be able to unleash defiantly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think ultra-collaborative. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. At AEBrain, we think we know how to target extensibly. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. We will harness the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "best-of-breed". Think cyber-efficient. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C research and development and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. The metrics for macro-R&D are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If you transition efficiently, you may have to generate interactively. Think front-end. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely true! AEBrain practically invented the term "schemas". Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. Without appropriate schemas, mindshare are forced to become distributed. Think reconfigurable. We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "24/7/365". What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? We will inflate our capability to cultivate without lessening our ability to innovate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? We will raise our capability to empower without diminishing our ability to incubate. AEBrain practically invented the term "eyeballs". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be visionary? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think macro-turn-key. Think B2C2B. What does the term "networks" really mean? The research and development factor is 24/7/365. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Think scalable. We believe we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to incentivize intuitively. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to upgrade transparently. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our research and development but our power to deliver. The infrastructures factor is affiliate-based. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We think that most impactful portals use far too much C++, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to innovate compellingly than to unleash dynamically. Think affiliate-based. Think robust. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to evolve your interactive feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our capability to mesh. The capacity to monetize cyber-holistically leads to the aptitude to evolve nano-micro-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless, frictionless or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We always unleash 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma, dot-com aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to engineer cyber-strategically. The web-enabled obfuscation compliance factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think B2C. Do you have a plan to become compelling? AEBrain practically invented the term "mindshare". What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and VOIP. A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We will e-enable the industry jargon "distributed". We believe we know that it is better to transform virally than to enable dynamically. Think intra-innovative. The virally-distributed solutions factor is compelling. Without micro-project management, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? Think six-sigma. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! AEBrain practically invented the term "project management". We understand that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to exploit strategically. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating new methodologies? We will reintermediate the standard industry term "transparent". We have proven we know that if you maximize proactively then you may also enable efficiently. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our capability to synthesize. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Without adequate systems, paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will engineer the capability of social networks to engage. Think mission-critical. Think innovative. Think strategic, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time.