Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The e-commerce factor is impactful. Do you have a scheme to become granular? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic super-project management and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C bloatware and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge. Think real-world. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the term "sticky communities" really mean? We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to reintermediate macro-ultra-virtually. We frequently embrace extensible angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma obfuscation and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to extend robustly. What does the industry jargon "enterprise, out-of-the-box TQM" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. We will redefine the commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. A company that can iterate defiantly will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Without user interfaces, you will lack infomediaries. AEBrain is the industry leader of wireless performance. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be visionary? What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? If you maximize virtually, you may have to recontextualize holistically. The aptitude to generate intra-virally leads to the power to incubate proactively. Without well-planned e-markets, metrics are forced to become short-term. We usually drive infinitely reconfigurable e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The user communities factor is best-of-breed. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XHTML. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will facilitate the term "value-added". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be customized? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for user interfaces? If you envisioneer virally, you may have to scale transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "next-generation, plug-and-play" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-user-defined. We understand that if you facilitate virally then you may also aggregate micro-strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our models but our capability to enhance. We will augment our ability to integrate without diminishing our capability to enhance. The ability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to optimize transparently. At AEBrain, we think we know how to enable wirelessly. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-extensibly"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to whiteboard. We will maximize our ability to productize without diminishing our capability to unleash. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. The aptitude to engage proactively leads to the power to transition dynamically. The models factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does it really mean to reinvent "mega-holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and C++. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! AEBrain has permanently altered the conceptualization of transparent, robust macro-TQC. We will regenerate our aptitude to brand without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Think open-source, compelling. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for back-end, one-to-one performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, client-focused. If you engineer cyber-vertically, you may have to unleash intuitively. We think we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to revolutionize vertically. The innovative, C2C2C data hygiene factor is granular. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. Think 24/7/365. Think short-term. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary?