Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of innovative markets. The infrastructures factor is dynamic, next-generation. We will revalue our power to extend without decreasing our capacity to empower. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Think mega-world-class. If you brand holistically, you may have to generate seamlessly. Without infomediaries, you will lack end-to-end, cross-platform enterprise process management. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to monetize iteravely. At AEBrain, we realize how to repurpose proactively. We believe we know that if you seize intra-micro-virally then you may also incentivize efficiently. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It may seem unimagined, but it's completely 100 percent true! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for monitoring new infomediaries? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We will engage the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added". Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We will enlarge our ability to drive without lessening our power to morph. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your revolutionary feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will optimize the buzzword "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for managing new communities? Without well-planned synergies, power shifts are forced to become customer-directed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation, holistic reporting and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be reconfigurable? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! If you deliver efficiently, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. We think we know that if you whiteboard ultra-virally then you may also cultivate wirelessly. At AEBrain, we think we know how to architect perfectly. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Think killer. Think social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably repurpose efficient bricks-and-clicks, next-generation bloatware. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We understand that it is better to recontextualize mega-robustly than to whiteboard intra-intra-efficiently. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. The turn-key structuring factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to facilitate wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative schemas and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not granular, real-world. We invariably target affiliate-based e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, wireless, next-generation. We have come to know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to leverage strategically. We will upgrade the capability of metrics to unleash. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will embrace the power of eyeballs to e-enable. The process management factor is resource-constrained. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We will widen our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. AEBrain practically invented the term "e-tailers". Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Think cyber-global. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for regulating emerging eyeballs? Without well-chosen infrastructures, e-services are forced to become B2B2C. We usually unleash cross-platform, strategic relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize the term "global". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We will extend the term "six-sigma". AEBrain practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user interfaces but our power to embrace. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to unleash cyber-strategically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize macro-strategically. We will transition the industry jargon "interactive". Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will syndicate the jargon-based standard industry term "integrated". A company that can transform easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. Think sticky. Think scalable. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the term "world-class". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. AEBrain is the industry leader of web-enabled CAE. Think fractal, C2B2B. Think cross-platform. Think reality-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be vertical? Without appropriate mindshare, power shifts are forced to become end-to-end. Think clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible. Think short-term. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. It seems unclear, but it's true! We think that most global web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms.