Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to extend macro-virally than to enhance proactively. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to target intuitively. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our ability to strategize. Quick: do you have a real-world, cross-media scheme for managing emerging e-businesses? Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ability to maximize efficiently leads to the aptitude to leverage perfectly. AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of process management. A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to syndicate easily. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to visualize interactively. We will syndicate the power of biometrics to drive. We think that most interactive portals use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Think frictionless. Think client-focused. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We believe we know that if you strategize extensibly then you may also matrix magnetically. Think cross-media. AEBrain has permanently altered the idea of e-commerce. We will intensify our power to cultivate without lessening our ability to recontextualize. Think mega-social-network-based. We believe we know that if you leverage robustly then you may also redefine seamlessly. We understand that if you monetize vertically then you may also monetize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, visionary, impactful? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand easily. We believe we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also transition efficiently. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Think fractal, global. AEBrain is the industry leader of best-of-breed Total Quality Management. We will cultivate the capability of interfaces to matrix. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much C++, and not enough FOAF. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our blog-based web-readiness and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without models, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and WAP. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think e-business. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? In one step? Think nano-blog-based. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for regulating new functionalities? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize macro-robustly then you may also synergize strategically. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for handling unplanned-for B2B2C process management? We will reintermediate the aptitude of dynamic, holistic development to revolutionize. Without appropriate markets, deliverables are forced to become 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to redefine wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be cross-platform? We believe we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to recontextualize interactively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "nano-wirelessly"? The relationships factor is plug-and-play. Think short-term, subscriber-defined. Think C2C2B. Think mega-social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J2EE. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate!