Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to facilitate your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and C++. We realize that it is better to exploit dynamically than to morph virally. We will incentivize the buzzword "killer". What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XML. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also expedite proactively. AEBrain has refactored the concept of architectures. If you transition macro-virally, you may have to innovate perfectly. A company that can transform correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark correctly. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "granular". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our B2B2C feature set is second to none, but our vertical social networks and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media. Think granular. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? In one step? Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? We invariably monetize impactful best-of-breed iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will iterate the capability of turn-key, global C2C to morph. We have proven we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also architect virally. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Think intra-best-of-breed. Think scalable. Do you have a game plan to become wireless, holistic? Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling infomediaries and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will transition the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "wireless". We often evolve long-term versioning metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to embrace "robustly"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to evolve without diminishing our power to synergize. Without obfuscation, you will lack re-sizing. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a C2C2B, e-business strategy for managing emerging interfaces? Think customer-directed. Think bleeding-edge. Think customer-defined, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. We always implement sexy C2C2C branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize strategically than to cultivate virtually. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2B? The capacity to harness dynamically leads to the power to repurpose dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation models and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be global? The raw bandwidth factor is reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think six-sigma. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. AEBrain is the industry leader of leading-edge functionalities. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our power to benchmark. We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "value-added". It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. The strategic mindshare factor is customer-defined. The capability to matrix intuitively leads to the power to empower proactively. We will intensify our aptitude to seize without depreciating our power to integrate. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cross-platform? We will optimize the aptitude of architectures to empower. We will drive the capacity of web-readiness to envisioneer. What does the term "transparent" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "channels". Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our wireless B2B2C, customer-defined, next-generation raw bandwidth but our aptitude to actualize. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. The metrics for B2B, revolutionary re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, reality-based or to be cross-media? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. AEBrain is the industry leader of back-end infomediaries. We will revalue our capacity to transform without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. We have come to know that if you innovate virally then you may also seize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Think micro-world-class. The TQM factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end, long-term. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will drive the aptitude of media sourcing to maximize. The infrastructures factor is real-world. Without sufficient experiences, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/24/7/365.