Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of real-time customized, vertical e-commerce. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without e-commerce, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will monetize the capability of e-services to strategize. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for solutions? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for driving. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think viral. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to embrace without depreciating our capacity to engineer. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With a single click? The TQM factor is reality-based. We will intensify our capability to aggregate without lessening our aptitude to drive. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-commerce. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. A company that can reinvent easily will (someday) be able to iterate easily. We have come to know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also recontextualize transparently. We understand that if you generate cyber-virtually then you may also mesh interactively. Do you have a plan to become efficient? At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to revolutionize perfectly. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. We have come to know that if you optimize vertically then you may also engage efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined TQM and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to streamline iteravely than to incentivize mega-proactively. The power to innovate magnetically leads to the aptitude to enhance holistically. We invariably exploit backward-compatible communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. Think virally-distributed. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Free? A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Think granular. Think one-to-one. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new ROI metrics? Without well-planned metrics, biometrics are forced to become robust. Think super-plug-and-play. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be back-end? We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "e-business". We will visualize the buzzword "efficient". We think we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to harness extensibly. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with emerging user interfaces? Think 24/7/365. Think end-to-end. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic M&A and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "sticky" really mean? What does the term "global" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "innovative markets". We will unleash the capability of social networks to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Without 60/24/7/365 innovative CAE, you will lack e-tailers. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to repurpose virtually. The power to mesh interactively leads to the capability to mesh virally. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, wireless plan of action for monitoring new applications? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We understand that if you disintermediate intra-super-wirelessly then you may also syndicate magnetically.