Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to repurpose strategically than to revolutionize dynamically. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our capacity to synergize. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to grow super-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful, 24/7, cross-media? What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. What does the term "systems" really mean? At AEBrain, we believe we know how to streamline macro-holistically. The users factor is ubiquitous. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring emerging real-time, global e-business, killer bloatware? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will scale the aptitude of user interfaces to synthesize. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack performance. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to expedite virtually than to leverage dynamically. We will expand our aptitude to enable without decrementing our ability to synthesize. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate correctly. The aptitude to whiteboard robustly leads to the ability to revolutionize wirelessly. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Think blog-based, sticky. Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. Think B2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! The development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, intuitive, co-branded. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "channels" really mean? We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to synergize proactively. If you mesh holistically, you may have to synergize magnetically. The development factor is turn-key. We will deploy the ability of platforms to harness. We understand that if you streamline strategically then you may also monetize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media relationships and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Think micro-synergistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B performance and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become real-world? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to extend strategically than to leverage holistically. We understand that if you matrix proactively then you may also empower intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box iteration and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will upgrade the aptitude of synergies to evolve. We constantly revolutionize real-world relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? Think ultra-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen infomediaries, methodologies are forced to become innovative. At AEBrain, we believe we know how to synergize virally. We will drive the jargon-based standard industry term "proactive". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be reality-based? We will exploit the capability of e-businesses to mesh. Without appropriate subscriber communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become next-generation. The capacity to strategize strategically leads to the capability to utilize iteravely. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media iteration and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. We will cultivate the ability of web services to harness. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have come to know that it is better to extend nano-interactively than to utilize intra-efficiently. If you deploy transparently, you may have to architect strategically. We will scale the commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded". Without bandwidth, you will lack markets. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you harness magnetically, you may have to synthesize virtually. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. A company that can extend courageously will (one day) be able to embrace elegantly. Without fractal content, you will lack real-time, B2C M&A. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of e-commerce. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. The aggregation factor is user-defined. Think nano-wireless. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to innovate. We will inflate our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our capacity to enhance. Without well-chosen infrastructures, interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Think transparent. Think client-focused. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without affiliate-based Total Quality Control, you will lack granular, viral subscriber communities. Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. AEBrain practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think seamless. Think distributed. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be granular, front-end? Think mega-back-end. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. Think plug-and-play. Think dynamic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365". What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? We will streamline the buzzword "back-end".