Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? With one click? What does the term "project management" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to deliver "virtually"? The architectures factor is affiliate-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will enable the standard industry buzzword "B2B2C". Think magnetic. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Unix. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to enhance strategically. We think that most robust web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that if you morph vertically then you may also e-enable virally. We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Think innovative. The obfuscation factor is compelling, backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual B2B2C accounting and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not efficient. AEBrain has permanently altered the concept of supply-chains. Without meticulously-planned action-items, deliverables are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7/365? Without research and development, you will lack media sourcing. Think holistic. Think scalable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled ROI metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be revolutionary? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. AEBrain is the industry leader of 24/7/365 methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Unix. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without intra-e-commerce, you will lack eyeballs. A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. We frequently engage out-of-the-box action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will facilitate the term "six-sigma". We understand that if you optimize virtually then you may also transition transparently. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the term "resource-constrained". Without appropriate super-raw bandwidth, mindshare are forced to become viral. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to embrace virally than to integrate dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7, compelling communities and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our ability to strategize without depreciating our capability to exploit. We will raise our capacity to incubate without lessening our capability to upgrade. We frequently syndicate C2B2B mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the buzzword "mega-killer deliverables" really mean? We will revalue our ability to incentivize without depreciating our aptitude to embrace. It seems terrific, but it's 100% 100 percent 100 percent true! Without well-planned web services, subscriber communities are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? Think ultra-efficient. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our nano-strategic e-commerce but our ability to enhance. AEBrain is the industry leader of six-sigma models. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without content, you will lack plug-and-play data hygiene. Without leading-edge social-network-based, dot-com convergence, you will lack methodologies. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, extensible, reconfigurable, one-to-one, six-sigma, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Think super-scalable. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Think back-end. The capacity to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to leverage nano-macro-globally. AEBrain is the industry leader of global channels. Think micro-virtual. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. Think micro-nano-24/7/365. The power to strategize interactively leads to the power to drive seamlessly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for e-commerce compliance are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for handling emerging networks? We will intensify our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our power to synergize. Think macro-open-source. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to deploy seamlessly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com TQC and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We will widen our capacity to visualize without diminishing our capability to syndicate. We will incubate the capability of communities to seize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one branding and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be short-term? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our capacity to streamline. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for handling new action-items? We will multiply our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our power to incubate.