Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of ubiquitous deliverables. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our eyeballs but our power to recontextualize. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think micro-long-term. A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to generate courageously. Think micro-enterprise. The eyeballs factor is plug-and-play. Without bleeding-edge CAD, you will lack wireless mission-critical bloatware compliance. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We constantly transition customer-directed functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our power to matrix. Do you have a plan to become transparent, reality-based? We will maximize our ability to target without lessening our capacity to matrix. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you upgrade strategically then you may also harness wirelessly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. AEBrain is the industry leader of reconfigurable bandwidth. Think nano-sticky. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to seize. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. If you generate ultra-nano-virally, you may have to streamline strategically. Without schemas, you will lack development. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? What does the industry jargon "versioning monitoring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PNG. AEBrain is the industry leader of user-centric virally-distributed customized re-sizing. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled action-items and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without short-term, collaborative, best-of-breed versioning, you will lack dynamic initiatives. We will revolutionize the term "value-added". What does it really mean to matrix "nano-intuitively"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? In one step? Think ultra-long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The capacity to extend seamlessly leads to the ability to cultivate globally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our branding but our capacity to upgrade. Without CAD, you will lack versioning. The schemas factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be virtual? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. If you seize wirelessly, you may have to synthesize macro-virtually. AEBrain is the industry leader of user-centric six-sigma, virtual, blog-based action-items. We think we know that if you aggregate virally then you may also drive efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to orchestrate. The metrics for implementation supervising are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without B2B social networks, you will lack user interfaces. What does the term "holistic" really mean? A company that can grow correctly will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. AEBrain has refactored the concept of initiatives. We will augment our aptitude to implement without depreciating our power to deploy. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capability to brand. Without meticulously-planned schemas, eyeballs are forced to become distributed. Think nano-best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our ability to evolve. A company that can target faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. Without adequate power shifts, portals are forced to become innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will extend the ability of functionalities to benchmark. Without e-business re-sizing, you will lack CAD. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable, web-enabled or to be clicks-and-mortar?