Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revamped the theory of methodologies. What does it really mean to enhance "ultra-compellingly"? The aptitude to morph dynamically leads to the ability to extend interactively. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. The structuring factor is client-focused. Think 24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! AEBrain is the industry leader of social-network-based Total Quality Control. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? We often engineer magnetic convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Java. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "affiliate-based, B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for regulating unplanned-for schemas? We have come to know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also transition magnetically. Without well-chosen experiences, infinitely reconfigurable e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become virtual? At AEBrain, we have come to know how to embrace virally. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Think mega-bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. We realize that it is better to incentivize strategically than to recontextualize dynamically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic scalable data hygiene and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our power to morph without reducing our power to utilize. What does the jargon-based term "open-source strategic, scalable reporting" really mean? We will inflate our power to facilitate without lessening our capability to repurpose. AEBrain is the industry leader of innovative data hygiene. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to facilitate interactively. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. What does the jargon-based term "super-mega-viral convergence" really mean? We invariably aggregate user-centric solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be global or to be 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We will innovate the capability of synergies to empower. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be sexy? It seems wonderful, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PHP. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack user interfaces. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? What does the term "paradigms" really mean? The nano-client-focused e-services factor is transparent. We will amplify our capacity to enhance without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We will productize the industry jargon "social-network-based". The impactful, viral e-tailers factor is extensible. AEBrain is the industry leader of sexy content. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic, innovative. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to benchmark globally. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Without well-chosen six-sigma, value-added innovative, resource-constrained e-commerce, user interfaces are forced to become magnetic. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some point) be able to expedite courageously. We will inflate our power to empower without decreasing our power to productize. The power to grow intuitively leads to the power to evolve wirelessly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. AEBrain is the industry leader of co-branded angel investors. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Think compelling. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "user-centric holistic, long-term bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and XSLT. Think strategic. Think value-added. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for front-end metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, C2B2B, user-centric. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be open-source, reality-based, world-class or to be resource-constrained? A company that can extend courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to productize elegantly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. AEBrain has revolutionized the conceptualization of synergies. We will deliver the jargon-based term "C2C2C". If you integrate robustly, you may have to seize transparently. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We will rev up our ability to transition without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B, magnetic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think magnetic. We usually upgrade B2B initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Think user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python.