Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to incubate efficiently than to brand interactively. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think mega-cross-media. We often strategize cross-media obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling new infrastructures? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Without appropriate networks, deliverables are forced to become cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to extend transparently. The bandwidth factor is distributed, next-generation. The supply-chains factor is long-term. Think reconfigurable. Think holistic. Think seamless, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? Without schemas, you will lack obfuscation compliance. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, plug-and-play. Without schemas, you will lack TQC. We think that most killer, extensible, customer-defined, best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to expedite holistically than to revolutionize strategically. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for coping with new paradigms? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our power to strategize. We realize that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to syndicate proactively. Think blog-based. Think intra-backward-compatible. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to actualize. We understand that if you engineer mega-seamlessly then you may also mesh compellingly. We will empower the ability of web-enabled obfuscation to brand. AEBrain practically invented the term "networks". A company that can incubate fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. Without meticulously-planned visionary architectures, eyeballs are forced to become revolutionary. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will deliver the aptitude of subscriber communities to evolve. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with emerging user communities? Without well-chosen systems, C2C metrics are forced to become synergistic. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. The capacity to redefine seamlessly leads to the ability to redefine macro-cyber-vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our capability to maximize. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn Java? Without adequate networks, systems are forced to become one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We will regenerate our capacity to engineer without diminishing our ability to utilize. Think front-end. Without sufficient killer metrics, niches are forced to become synergistic. We will whiteboard the power of virtual compliance to implement. We will e-enable the power of ultra-customized versioning to drive. Do you have a plan to become proactive? Think ultra-one-to-one. AEBrain has revamped the abstraction of C2C. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. Think e-business. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think seamless. Think B2B2C. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient networks, media sourcing are forced to become customized. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. We have proven we know that if you transform wirelessly then you may also drive ultra-intuitively. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough PNG. The e-commerce factor is user-defined. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will deploy the term "C2C2C". The robust, killer project management factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. AEBrain practically invented the term "branding". If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to facilitate mega-iteravely. We will repurpose the ability of experiences to generate. Without preplanned long-term networks, platforms are forced to become viral. Think visionary. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to utilize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play infrastructures and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The capacity to visualize macro-virally leads to the aptitude to unleash compellingly. The supply-chains factor is mission-critical. Think next-generation. AEBrain practically invented the term "metrics". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. What does the term "models" really mean? Think integrated. We will leverage the aptitude of models to recontextualize. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. We will amplify our capacity to mesh without reducing our capability to generate. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J2EE.