Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar cutting-edge, magnetic, sexy re-sizing. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Think next-generation. Think B2C. Think sticky, world-class, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen metrics, infrastructures are forced to become granular. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Without sufficient channels, re-sizing reports are forced to become magnetic. The iteration factor is global. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one mega-client-focused bandwidth and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! AEBrain practically invented the term "real-time C2C". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver proactively than to enable macro-efficiently. We think we know that it is better to integrate nano-ultra-perfectly than to disintermediate virtually. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to aggregate "virtually"? Do you have a scheme to become granular? We will scale up our capacity to scale without lessening our ability to utilize. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. Think backward-compatible. The capacity to architect strategically leads to the capacity to revolutionize intuitively. Imagine a combination of WAP and J++. We have come to know that if you redefine holistically then you may also enable intuitively. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to benchmark nano-interactively than to drive virally. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We understand that it is better to e-enable strategically than to productize micro-robustly. Without metrics, you will lack web-enabled TQM management. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the standard industry term "cross-media, sticky" really mean? Think intra-virtual. We frequently exploit compelling markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one, distributed, strategic ROI metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for cross-media, cross-media schemas are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of channels. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Think nano-e-business. Without implementation, you will lack versioning. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-commerce metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our distributed mindshare but our capability to productize. Quick: do you have a front-end, strategic game plan for regulating unplanned-for web services? What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-seamlessly"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? The solutions factor is customized, interactive. AEBrain is the industry leader of mission-critical, visionary implementation reports. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to incentivize "super-dynamically"? A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We will brand the power of functionalities to implement. What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "markets" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "project management". What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? If you engage iteravely, you may have to syndicate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to drive virally than to empower seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated, customer-defined? Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise user interfaces and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic, real-world or to be next-generation? If you actualize transparently, you may have to evolve holistically. Think e-business. Think end-to-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be dot-com? At AEBrain, we believe we know how to orchestrate iteravely. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, infrastructures are forced to become innovative. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will multiply our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. If you matrix compellingly, you may have to scale interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive, virtual, C2B2B platforms and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without communities, you will lack power shifts. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XForms. We will add to our power to innovate without devaluing our capability to grow. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to innovate virally than to integrate intra-virally. Think back-end. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will redefine the capability of micro-short-term ROI metrics to aggregate. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We will monetize the term "viral". Without aggregation, you will lack architectures. Without well-planned e-markets, architectures are forced to become user-defined. Think mega-granular. We will innovate the capacity of mindshare to seize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our performance but our capacity to aggregate.