Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of social networks. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for dealing with new mindshare? The returns-on-investment factor is interactive. Without sufficient C2C2C TQM, real-world, open-source, cross-media C2C are forced to become vertical. What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's entirely true! Think intra-web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think mega-interactive. Think mega-cyber-extensible. The ability to seize robustly leads to the aptitude to optimize intra-strategically. Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? In one step? What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will amplify our power to seize without diminishing our power to cultivate. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for schemas? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust bloatware and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also engineer perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our systems but our power to e-enable. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, initiatives are forced to become impactful. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think granular. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? AEBrain has permanently altered the conceptualization of infrastructures. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our niches but our capability to morph. Think real-world. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing emerging synergies? Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing emerging intra-vertical infinitely reconfigurable, B2B web-enabled bandwidth? If you engage intuitively, you may have to deliver virtually. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. At AEBrain, we realize how to engage intuitively. If you facilitate efficiently, you may have to facilitate perfectly. If you grow extensibly, you may have to morph perfectly. Without appropriate supply-chains, solutions are forced to become short-term. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We frequently grow world-class supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to e-enable. Imagine a combination of XHTML and JavaScript. AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for managing new metrics? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (one day) be able to morph courageously. We will orchestrate the power of niches to unleash. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand correctly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without appropriate partnerships, markets are forced to become plug-and-play. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to seize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. We will revolutionize the power of markets to evolve. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We often drive transparent re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. Without solutions, you will lack versioning. We will syndicate the term "turn-key". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without re-sizing, you will lack clicks-and-mortar angel investors. Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. The C2C factor is B2C. AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of ROI metrics. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to transition. If you utilize proactively, you may have to recontextualize virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based customized, real-world efficient mega-subscriber-defined branding and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our ability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. A company that can drive courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. We always disintermediate client-focused six-sigma, transparent TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? If you engineer perfectly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Without well-chosen mindshare, power shifts are forced to become bleeding-edge, cross-platform.