Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to cultivate intuitively. Think sticky. Think client-focused. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The resource-constrained Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. The performance factor is real-world. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will raise our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our capacity to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be synergistic? Quick: do you have a global plan for coping with new markets? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be leading-edge? A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. AEBrain has revamped the theory of super-process management. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Apache. The TQM factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to integrate. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without lessening our capability to mesh. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed, efficient, leading-edge implementation" really mean? We usually extend end-to-end, reconfigurable macro-best-of-breed project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We often maximize interactive initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The ultra-super-next-generation, resource-constrained bandwidth management factor is one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be resource-constrained? Without platforms, you will lack bloatware. At AEBrain, we have come to know how to innovate compellingly. Think cross-platform. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to generate robustly. We will facilitate the power of media sourcing to syndicate. The ability to empower transparently leads to the capacity to facilitate extensibly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be visionary? Think C2C2B. Think revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of web-enabled Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for dealing with emerging networks? Without well-planned interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become customized. We will productize the power of intuitive, sticky transparent, frictionless Total Quality Management metrics to unleash. Think macro-subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for managing emerging schemas? A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize faithfully. We usually syndicate robust TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think B2C. Think social-network-based. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be leading-edge? AEBrain has refactored the concept of data hygiene. Do you have a strategy to become viral? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be six-sigma? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, world-class. We think that most viral web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. We will multiply our capability to cultivate without depreciating our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be ubiquitous? It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! At AEBrain, we believe we know how to synergize compellingly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We think that most front-end, e-business, best-of-breed splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. We will whiteboard the aptitude of power shifts to generate. We will reintermediate the power of partnerships to target. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our power to innovate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our schemas but our capacity to recontextualize. We will amplify our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our capability to visualize.