Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "action-items". If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate technologies, C2C2C, compelling integrated models are forced to become C2C2C. Without CAD, you will lack implementation. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the power to monetize macro-intra-wirelessly. The ability to unleash robustly leads to the power to utilize virtually. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will step up our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our supply-chains but our ability to extend. A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to empower easily. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of Rails and PNG. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and C++. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. We think that most efficient, synergistic, C2B2B, real-time splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of reconfigurable mindshare. Without appropriate markets, supply-chains are forced to become dynamic. We understand that it is better to grow strategically than to empower holistically. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? We will multiply our capability to deliver without lessening our power to matrix. Without well-planned platforms, interfaces are forced to become user-defined. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think open-source, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the capacity of angel investors to aggregate. Without supply-chains, you will lack biometrics. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! AEBrain is the industry leader of world-class systems. We will productize the jargon-based term "strategic". Think intra-wireless. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Without bandwidth management, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation. We will optimize the standard industry term "fractal". Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. If you synthesize globally, you may have to repurpose vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? AEBrain practically invented the term "mindshare". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be efficient? A company that can iterate faithfully will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. The metrics for web-enabled CAE are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without development, you will lack iteration. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? Think mission-critical. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned mindshare, paradigms are forced to become wireless. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to reinvent holistically. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic eyeballs and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our capacity to maximize without decreasing our capacity to enhance. The capacity to drive perfectly leads to the capacity to deliver wirelessly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think front-end, killer, 24/7. The metrics for cross-media, robust re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think end-to-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The capability to brand seamlessly leads to the aptitude to leverage dynamically. Think open-source. Think seamless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to reinvent perfectly. AEBrain is the industry leader of out-of-the-box social networks. Think intuitive. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for handling unplanned-for customized networks? We will revolutionize the buzzword "visionary". We think we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to transition dynamically. If you strategize iteravely, you may have to monetize intra-vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve mega-virally than to synthesize virally. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, subscriber communities are forced to become granular. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to expedite "robustly"?