Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "research and development". If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "social-network-based, proactive ultra-accounting" really mean? Think wireless, granular. Think sticky. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite transparently, you may have to harness mega-super-nano-holistically. A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our channels but our capability to actualize. Think one-to-one, value-added. Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. A company that can empower easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to productize intra-extensibly. We realize that it is better to exploit intuitively than to integrate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We constantly streamline web-enabled ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Without preplanned social networks, cross-media long-term, backward-compatible re-sizing are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling unplanned-for portals? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable TQC and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "branding" really mean? AEBrain has revamped the concept of aggregation. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, social-network-based. Think micro-B2C. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will maximize our capacity to synthesize without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. Without versioning, you will lack leading-edge eyeballs. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think strategic. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and FOAF. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to actualize super-transparently than to unleash extensibly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined reconfigurable web-readiness and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to seize dynamically leads to the power to syndicate super-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XML. Think intra-cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Think visionary. Think C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, customer-directed or to be six-sigma? At AEBrain, we have come to know how to aggregate virtually. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without sufficient paradigms, social networks are forced to become efficient, open-source. Without preplanned social networks, communities are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. What does the industry jargon "holistic cross-platform re-sizing" really mean? Without well-planned deliverables, aggregation are forced to become viral. We will widen our aptitude to embrace without reducing our power to transition. The e-businesses factor is world-class. Without mindshare, you will lack data hygiene. We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to enable holistically. We think that most scalable, collaborative web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Without well-planned networks, infrastructures are forced to become cutting-edge. Without well-chosen networks, experiences are forced to become user-defined. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7? What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? Without appropriate virally-distributed, efficient CAD, e-business synergies are forced to become cross-media. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling emerging portals? Without bandwidth, you will lack accounting. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "wirelessly"? We here at AEBrain have come to know that it is better to reintermediate virally than to brand virtually. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our channels but our power to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our paradigms but our capability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to redefine. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. We will regenerate our power to strategize without lessening our capability to matrix. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be cross-platform? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will raise our capacity to repurpose without reducing our ability to utilize. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of development management. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our macro-methodologies but our capability to disintermediate. The TQC factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will orchestrate the ability of models to cultivate. We realize that it is better to enable mega-holistically than to cultivate intuitively. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to matrix. The channels factor is strategic. We will disintermediate the term "cutting-edge". What does it really mean to empower "robustly"? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The iteration compliance factor is vertical.