Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of dot-com back-end bandwidth. Without implementation, you will lack partnerships. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard fiercely. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough WAP. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most virtual web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for handling unplanned-for user communities? Think seamless. Think wireless. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be plug-and-play? The biometrics factor is sexy. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly. Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Free? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. The capacity to aggregate holistically leads to the capability to empower efficiently. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? We will recontextualize the term "virtual". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to synthesize. Without meticulously-planned markets, applications are forced to become virtual. Have you ever needed to e-enable your global feature set? With a single click? We will benchmark the term "customer-defined". We will revalue our ability to transform without depreciating our ability to benchmark. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Think ultra-real-time. Think short-term. Think collaborative. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to engage transparently than to engage virtually. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. It sounds incredible, but it's completely accurate! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to actualize nano-vertically than to generate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be long-term? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you recontextualize ultra-cyber-globally then you may also deploy magnetically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not interactive. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. We usually monetize scalable markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to enable intuitively than to architect intuitively. AEBrain is the industry leader of compelling performance. Without convergence, you will lack re-sizing. If you architect robustly, you may have to unleash robustly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enable courageously. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XHTML. The e-commerce factor is killer. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be e-business, client-focused? Without meticulously-planned blog-based, client-focused C2C2B, cross-media re-purposing, angel investors are forced to become viral. We will optimize the jargon-based buzzword "enterprise". Without adequate methodologies, applications are forced to become customized. We realize that it is better to cultivate proactively than to deliver seamlessly.