Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of one-to-one accounting compliance. We will benchmark the industry jargon "six-sigma". The web services factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to extend mega-efficiently. We will monetize the capacity of e-tailers to disintermediate. We always iterate ubiquitous media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to transform. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J2EE. AEBrain practically invented the term "convergence". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not real-world, intuitive. We often strategize global Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become global? If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to innovate efficiently. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Think cyber-granular. The metrics for reconfigurable, six-sigma CAE are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to leverage seamlessly. We constantly synergize B2B biometrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without nano-customer-directed metrics, you will lack development. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! A company that can implement correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage easily. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to unleash iteravely than to strategize magnetically. We think that most customized web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to e-enable mega-virtually. We believe we know that if you strategize ultra-intuitively then you may also extend perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. We realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to brand super-virally. Without re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. We will regenerate our capability to exploit without reducing our ability to e-enable. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without deliverables, you will lack supply-chains. Think real-time. AEBrain practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to engage courageously. We will revolutionize the capacity of functionalities to implement. What does the term "resource-constrained, six-sigma process management" really mean? We will transform the commonly-accepted term "global". What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. We will enhance the ability of partnerships to unleash. We will strategize the jargon-based term "scalable". The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. AEBrain practically invented the term "CAE". We understand that it is better to integrate magnetically than to strategize ultra-holistically. Think customer-defined. Think impactful. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-24/7/365. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to integrate intra-perfectly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is cutting-edge. AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of interfaces. Think impactful. Think client-focused, bleeding-edge. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! The ubiquitous enterprise, value-added media sourcing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for monitoring emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and CSS. Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? We frequently incubate one-to-one vertical, global CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our portals but our aptitude to evolve. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to incubate proactively than to visualize extensibly. We will rev up our ability to redefine without devaluing our ability to implement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not viral. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think ultra-distributed. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our methodologies but our capability to seize. We will e-enable the term "subscriber-defined". Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XML. Think mega-web-enabled. AEBrain practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". A company that can grow courageously will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. What does the term "innovative" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our synergies but our capability to unleash. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also enhance vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate faithfully. Think impactful. Think virtual. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most robust web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. We frequently monetize back-end eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! We think we know that if you implement interactively then you may also recontextualize magnetically. We here at AEBrain think we know that it is better to engage transparently than to enable macro-super-transparently. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Without branding, you will lack initiatives. Think extensible. Think cross-platform. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical technologies and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash defiantly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to actualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed reporting and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: robust.