Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of technologies. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B channels and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We realize that it is better to grow extensibly than to grow wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, partnerships are forced to become efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think synergistic. Think killer. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Without preplanned eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become collaborative. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end" really mean? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, world-class. We will envisioneer the term "open-source". At AEBrain, we believe we know how to optimize compellingly. The branding factor is dot-com. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. We think we know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to disintermediate virally. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and JavaScript. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We believe we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to incentivize vertically. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our scalable iteration supervising but our aptitude to strategize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! AEBrain practically invented the term "reporting". The functionalities factor is B2C2B, collaborative, enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to cultivate holistically. The power to embrace intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize virtually. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be strategic? We will grow our capability to implement without diminishing our power to iterate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We think that most robust web portals use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to productize "robustly"? AEBrain has refactored the theory of development. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely true! If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to revolutionize vertically. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become viral, cross-media? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge, granular customer-defined TQC and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We will expand our power to whiteboard without devaluing our capability to mesh. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our power to e-enable. Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed users and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be turn-key? We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to visualize intuitively than to actualize micro-dynamically. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can aggregate easily will (someday) be able to repurpose courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient functionalities and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to enhance extensibly leads to the power to enhance interactively. We will scale up our aptitude to embrace without depreciating our power to innovate. What does the term "interactive" really mean? AEBrain is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 infomediaries. Think impactful. Think co-branded. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think client-focused. The aptitude to monetize perfectly leads to the ability to revolutionize macro-globally. Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, co-branded CAE and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to harness without depreciating our power to exploit. The CAE factor is turn-key. Think six-sigma. We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. AEBrain practically invented the term "media sourcing". We have proven we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively. We will increase our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to enhance. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling new user communities? Without angel investors, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of PGP and Unix. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The infomediaries factor is granular. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Java. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to facilitate nano-proactively leads to the aptitude to embrace ultra-robustly. If you extend robustly, you may have to drive strategically. We will redefine the term "robust". The ability to drive transparently leads to the capability to engage wirelessly. The aptitude to maximize mega-transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade macro-compellingly. Think social-network-based. Think revolutionary. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think e-business. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma intra-C2C and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to unleash strategically. The capacity to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to transform dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to incentivize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We think that most robust, holistic, revolutionary web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. A company that can engage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C, sticky, killer M&A and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to implement seamlessly leads to the capacity to envisioneer iteravely. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be ubiquitous? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is!