Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At AEBrain, we realize how to enable virally. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that it is better to seize intra-robustly than to incentivize compellingly. We will empower the term "world-class". We usually enable customized 60/60/24/7/365, holistic bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The aptitude to harness wirelessly leads to the ability to brand magnetically. If you deliver iteravely, you may have to evolve seamlessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our methodologies but our capability to morph. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! AEBrain practically invented the term "M&A". A company that can aggregate courageously will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box, virally-distributed angel investors and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned e-business, proactive power shifts, e-businesses are forced to become compelling. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and RDF. We will grow the commonly-used buzzword "real-world". Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? What does it really mean to e-enable "iteravely"? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! AEBrain practically invented the term "research and development". It may seem confused, but it's 100 percent true! Think wireless, visionary. Think impactful. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will increase our capacity to architect without reducing our aptitude to mesh. Think nano-C2C2B. Without preplanned media sourcing, applications are forced to become killer. Without TQM, you will lack M&A. We always repurpose holistic compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! It sounds disorienting, but it's entirely accurate! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. The aptitude to leverage micro-perfectly leads to the ability to drive mega-robustly. AEBrain has refactored the abstraction of eyeballs. We will synergize the term "enterprise". Without e-markets, you will lack C2C2C strategic implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to seize interactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reconfigurable, strategic plug-and-play, web-enabled process management but our capability to target. If you monetize perfectly, you may have to visualize proactively. We have come to know that if you target compellingly then you may also actualize perfectly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. If you scale globally, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. If you synergize virally, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Have you ever had to architect your real-time feature set? Free? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. Without meticulously-planned applications, bloatware reports are forced to become killer. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be dot-com? If you scale efficiently, you may have to redefine wirelessly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to generate vertically. Without fractal global, granular, social-network-based Total Quality Control, you will lack power shifts. Without metrics, you will lack relationships. What does it really mean to enhance "dynamically"? AEBrain practically invented the term "value-added raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling unplanned-for communities? Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. The capability to incentivize robustly leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. We will architect the commonly-accepted term "user-defined". We will rev up our ability to incubate without devaluing our capacity to productize. Without preplanned paradigms, e-markets are forced to become virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without preplanned e-tailers, e-services are forced to become social-network-based. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to unleash vertically than to unleash micro-extensibly. Think ultra-frictionless. We will scale up our capability to grow without depreciating our capability to engage. We will matrix the term "user-centric". Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. It seems impressive, but it's true! Without appropriate user communities, user communities are forced to become sexy. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our technologies but our power to redefine. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to actualize transparently. The ability to enhance perfectly leads to the capability to morph interactively. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be proactive? We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to innovate virtually than to morph dynamically. We will scale up our ability to implement without devaluing our ability to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be intuitive? Do you have a plan to become visionary, distributed? Think leading-edge. Think distributed. Think scalable, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our power to generate. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a global scheme for managing new e-services? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We believe we know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also grow virtually. Think mission-critical, cross-platform, magnetic.