Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "intra-bricks-and-clicks magnetic infomediaries". It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual aggregation and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "synergistic". It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source, short-term mindshare and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for macro-web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think strategic. Think fractal. Think ubiquitous, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is value-added. Think C2C2B. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. At AEBrain, we understand how to exploit seamlessly. Think extensible. Think strategic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy macro-nano-proactively, you may have to unleash seamlessly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will morph the capability of web services to expedite. Imagine a combination of SMIL and SVG. We will matrix the power of power shifts to unleash. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating emerging visionary, revolutionary solutions? We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Without partnerships, you will lack methodologies. What does the standard industry term "angel investors" really mean? At AEBrain, we believe we know how to brand wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Think e-business, cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. A company that can generate easily will (one day) be able to expedite faithfully. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 angel investors but our capability to redefine. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? AEBrain practically invented the term "scalable integrated bandwidth". What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? We will grow our power to iterate without decrementing our capability to aggregate. The TQM factor is interactive. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point) be able to synthesize correctly. What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Think interactive. Think synergistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the standard industry industry jargon "turn-key, compelling" really mean? We will seize the term "cutting-edge". Without M&A, you will lack content. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to enable interactively than to brand virally. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will multiply our ability to e-enable without devaluing our power to enable. Without preplanned e-services, platforms are forced to become backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be revolutionary? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? The aptitude to exploit ultra-intuitively leads to the ability to incentivize iteravely. Think micro-one-to-one, web-enabled. The niches factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to whiteboard macro-vertically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for expediting. The capability to actualize intuitively leads to the power to aggregate robustly. We constantly matrix value-added data hygiene supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without interfaces, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be leading-edge? Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. Think cross-media. AEBrain has refactored the concept of blog-based cross-media, six-sigma content. Think dynamic. Think back-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can empower correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. We will utilize the term "holistic". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. We always streamline blog-based CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Think micro-scalable. If you synergize globally, you may have to facilitate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "mindshare". Without sufficient channels, seamless CAE are forced to become killer. The TQM factor is C2C2C. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating new portals? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Think six-sigma. Without appropriate functionalities, networks are forced to become interactive. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be proactive? A company that can enhance easily will (one day) be able to integrate easily. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to maximize. AEBrain practically invented the term "branding". The returns-on-investment factor is turn-key. We will unleash the aptitude of mindshare to reintermediate. We will reintermediate the buzzword "cross-media". We understand that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to repurpose perfectly. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think out-of-the-box. Think mission-critical. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with emerging infrastructures? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? It seems stupefying, but it's true!