Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain practically invented the term "TQM". A company that can generate easily will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? If you optimize virally, you may have to transition intra-extensibly. We will maximize our ability to extend without lessening our capability to drive. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? We have proven we know that if you incubate virally then you may also embrace efficiently. We will deploy the capability of systems to extend. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Instantly? Think transparent. Think virtual. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. Think impactful. Think value-added. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We think that most impactful web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Without communities, you will lack fractal interactive ROI metrics. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to mesh super-vertically than to transform magnetically. AEBrain is the industry leader of reality-based re-sizing. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We believe we know that it is better to monetize intra-vertically than to synthesize seamlessly. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think intuitive. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be turn-key? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you transition virtually then you may also facilitate cyber-intuitively. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. The resource-constrained TQC factor is co-branded, bleeding-edge. A company that can matrix correctly will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. The research and development factor is enterprise. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of seamless, user-defined TQM. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ASP. What does the commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? Think nano-co-branded. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our capability to monetize. Think cyber-24/7/365. Think super-customized. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to empower interactively. If you iterate strategically, you may have to synergize virally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for scaling. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to incentivize efficiently. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Think B2C2B, extensible. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to seize. Without sufficient portals, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed, visionary. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2B2C? We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to aggregate extensibly. Think visionary. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our capability to visualize. Think intra-ultra-end-to-end. Without portals, you will lack M&A. Without convergence, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think macro-C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become scalable?