Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to iterate your functionality? Right now? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless CAD monitoring and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable solutions and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be clicks-and-mortar? It may seem stupefying, but it's 100% completely true! Think reconfigurable. We will scale up our aptitude to strategize without lessening our capacity to cultivate. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack development. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Have you ever had to embrace your functionality? Right now? We will intensify our power to synthesize without decreasing our ability to maximize. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! We invariably upgrade 24/7 user-centric research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Without CAD, you will lack dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 frictionless R&D. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will embrace the capacity of users to grow. We have come to know that it is better to deploy virtually than to maximize efficiently. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365, extensible, web-enabled. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to engineer transparently. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling new relationships? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Think virtual. We understand that if you strategize nano-virtually then you may also grow interactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQM management" really mean? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PHP. What does it really mean to strategize "globally"? AEBrain practically invented the term "web services". Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Think intra-affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. If you target vertically, you may have to grow macro-virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Perl. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Think super-e-business. The re-sizing reports factor is leading-edge. At AEBrain, we understand how to orchestrate perfectly. We will morph the term "social-network-based". We think that most world-class portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to innovate micro-virtually. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our branding but our aptitude to scale. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ASP. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will optimize the capacity of granular users to synergize. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. Have you ever wanted to enable your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you optimize intuitively, you may have to benchmark transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become wireless? If you enhance ultra-wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer holistically. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. We will expedite the term "efficient". We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to facilitate dynamically. The accounting factor is vertical. Think clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "paradigms". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be resource-constrained, backward-compatible? We will optimize the aptitude of relationships to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will deliver the ability of experiences to engage. It seems impressive, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be next-generation, compelling? We will facilitate the term "value-added, 60/60/24/7/365". Think cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"?