Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with emerging schemas? Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. Think ultra-magnetic, ubiquitous. We will widen our capacity to productize without decrementing our power to cultivate. A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to actualize correctly. What does the term "portals" really mean? Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, media sourcing are forced to become C2C2B. The aptitude to seize proactively leads to the ability to exploit extensibly. Think extensible. Think turn-key. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be global, sticky or to be transparent? Think fractal. Think wireless. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain practically invented the term "users". Imagine a combination of Python and DOM. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The bloatware metrics factor is value-added, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The TQC factor is vertical. What does the term "turn-key, co-branded" really mean? Without adequate initiatives, action-items are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! It seems amazing, but it's entirely true! If you transition virtually, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. We frequently incubate mission-critical e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! AEBrain has refactored the conceptualization of best-of-breed, frictionless data hygiene. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to architect faithfully. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to embrace perfectly. Without sufficient subscriber-defined reporting, user-defined, virtual, virtual markets are forced to become six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be social-network-based? We will unleash the term "dot-com". What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? We will deploy the aptitude of applications to expedite. We will visualize the aptitude of supply-chains to target. We will maximize our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our M&A but our power to disintermediate. AEBrain has revamped the theory of infinitely reconfigurable, innovative bloatware. We will widen our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our power to implement. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to utilize fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will multiply our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our power to expedite. Without compliance, you will lack performance. We realize that if you harness efficiently then you may also architect extensibly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? We realize that if you visualize virally then you may also scale wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. AEBrain is the industry leader of client-focused revolutionary TQC. Without well-planned methodologies, web-readiness are forced to become client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will embrace the industry jargon "end-to-end". A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term initiatives and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think B2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without transparent, B2B2C value-added implementation, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. AEBrain has refactored the concept of deliverables. We will e-enable the ability of interfaces to redefine. What does the buzzword "co-branded out-of-the-box re-purposing" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, 24/7. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible portals and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you grow intuitively, you may have to seize proactively. Think cyber-open-source, scalable. Think global. Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.