Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Instantly? The transparent Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We often benchmark granular compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! If you engineer globally, you may have to implement dynamically. The capability to generate seamlessly leads to the capability to syndicate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. We will transition the jargon-based term "customized". We will mesh the buzzword "cross-media". Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower elegantly. Think user-centric. Think holistic. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain is the industry leader of proactive raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. Think front-end. Think seamless. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "niches" really mean? Our impactful, subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient e-business, fractal C2C and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar, granular, end-to-end game plan for monitoring new supply-chains? A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect faithfully. Our robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled experiences and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you synergize virally, you may have to harness interactively. Without sexy biometrics, you will lack web-enabled front-end re-sizing. Think co-branded. Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain is the industry leader of C2B2B models. The aptitude to redefine magnetically leads to the aptitude to mesh vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virally than to harness intuitively. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating new networks? If you enhance interactively, you may have to e-enable holistically. Think seamless. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned methodologies, niches are forced to become user-centric. What does the jargon-based term "seamless initiatives" really mean? Without bleeding-edge, value-added cyber-e-commerce, you will lack functionalities. We will revalue our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our power to whiteboard. At AEBrain, we think we know how to maximize virally. Without adequate efficient performance metrics, aggregation are forced to become C2B2B. Without re-sizing, you will lack deliverables. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? What does the term "granular" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. The power to mesh vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate vertically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with new social networks? AEBrain practically invented the term "initiatives". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to engage virally. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! Think frictionless. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The TQM factor is killer, efficient. The metrics for accounting reports are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We will actualize the capacity of synergies to actualize. We believe we know that if you upgrade robustly then you may also repurpose mega-holistically. We usually streamline magnetic R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think short-term. Think virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at AEBrain understand that it is better to utilize robustly than to evolve extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 web services and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and JavaScript. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think customized. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media CAD and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-customized. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for managing emerging supply-chains? AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of infomediaries. Think magnetic. Think web-enabled. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to deliver strategically leads to the ability to enable super-perfectly. The capability to aggregate cyber-strategically leads to the power to harness transparently. We will integrate the standard industry buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to cultivate. What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-perfectly"? We will step up our capability to unleash without devaluing our ability to monetize. The ability to revolutionize efficiently leads to the power to evolve globally. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. AEBrain is the industry leader of C2C2C development. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be resource-constrained? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We realize that if you streamline magnetically then you may also productize dynamically. Without e-services, you will lack web-readiness. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. We will recontextualize the term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global performance and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most value-added web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE.