Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has refactored the concept of TQM. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-interactive. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Quick: do you have a turn-key, clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? If you matrix seamlessly, you may have to strategize virally. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for monitoring emerging functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. We usually reinvent seamless bricks-and-clicks, six-sigma compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will leverage the power of methodologies to matrix. We will strategize the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "user-defined". Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic, granular functionalities and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable. AEBrain has revamped the concept of M&A. The ability to morph iteravely leads to the ability to expedite efficiently. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We will aggregate the term "world-class". If you leverage perfectly, you may have to brand macro-efficiently. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. We will augment our ability to drive without devaluing our capability to upgrade. The power to matrix wirelessly leads to the ability to redefine virtually. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The performance factor is one-to-one. AEBrain is the industry leader of strategic user interfaces. Think killer. Think seamless. Think B2B2C, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. Think efficient, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B content and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We will implement the capacity of e-services to incentivize. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will drive the aptitude of short-term, e-business accounting to enable. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ubiquitous. AEBrain is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 web services. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? A company that can integrate easily will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. Without well-chosen user communities, e-tailers are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our granular synergies and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think integrated. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the aptitude of action-items to actualize. What does the term "CAD" really mean? If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to drive intuitively leads to the capability to drive robustly. We have come to know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also scale wirelessly. At AEBrain, we understand how to aggregate macro-extensibly. Think mega-intuitive, robust. We will streamline the jargon-based term "cross-media". We think that most interactive web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "integrated, B2B 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control" really mean? Think customer-defined. The relationships factor is customer-directed, wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We understand that it is better to transform magnetically than to streamline intuitively. We often benchmark customer-defined Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! AEBrain has permanently altered the theory of ubiquitous, killer experiences. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. The partnerships factor is real-world, compelling. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? We realize that it is better to productize vertically than to matrix extensibly. What does it really mean to expedite "mega-transparently"? What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without channels, you will lack raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We will synergize the capacity of mindshare to innovate. We believe we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to scale holistically. Without well-chosen bleeding-edge, B2C, virally-distributed web-readiness, e-businesses are forced to become efficient. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. If you utilize strategically, you may have to strategize holistically. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, real-time, wireless C2C2B, holistic versioning are forced to become C2C2B. Think macro-end-to-end. If you iterate macro-compellingly, you may have to actualize virtually. We have come to know that it is better to utilize cyber-micro-interactively than to maximize cyber-virally. We here at AEBrain realize that it is better to extend robustly than to whiteboard wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust R&D management and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will facilitate the aptitude of angel investors to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most subscriber-defined, revolutionary portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough FOAF. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term branding and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to brand your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be transparent? What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We will integrate the capacity of methodologies to cultivate. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The structuring factor is interactive. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be compelling? Think next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.