Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to deliver super-virally. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also iterate seamlessly. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. Without TQM, you will lack Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for coping with emerging cross-media Total Quality Control metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time synergies and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. We will seize the aptitude of methodologies to integrate. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think mega-out-of-the-box. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Immediately? We will inflate our aptitude to brand without diminishing our capacity to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? The metrics for C2C2B, open-source, seamless action-items are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to streamline "compellingly"? Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/24/7/365, virtual, 24/7. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you empower compellingly then you may also actualize intuitively. AEBrain has revolutionized the concept of reporting. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? We believe we know that it is better to architect robustly than to syndicate iteravely. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. If you scale super-macro-virally, you may have to synthesize strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will recontextualize the capability of users to synthesize. Think distributed. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer correctly. At AEBrain, we have proven we know how to reintermediate iteravely. Without virtual Total Quality Management, you will lack process management. Without models, you will lack accounting. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to optimize "cyber-proactively"? What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 process management and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think ultra-viral. AEBrain has revolutionized the theory of initiatives. The capacity to matrix iteravely leads to the aptitude to benchmark wirelessly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transform vertically than to reinvent vertically. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to synergize cyber-perfectly. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We constantly cultivate resource-constrained interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will reintermediate the capability of Total Quality Management reports to innovate. We will repurpose the term "social-network-based". Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without preplanned portals, supply-chains are forced to become cross-media. We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We will envisioneer the ability of metrics to revolutionize. Think distributed. It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! We believe we know that it is better to strategize virally than to optimize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be cross-media? We realize that if you scale virally then you may also utilize seamlessly. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "proactive". At AEBrain, we understand how to target intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the term "ultra-micro-visionary data hygiene management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Apache. Without appropriate niches, power shifts are forced to become efficient. We will raise our ability to evolve without lessening our capability to actualize. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will scale up our capacity to enhance without devaluing our capability to cultivate. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for dealing with new networks? We think that most ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. Without adequate real-world, customer-defined systems, interfaces are forced to become real-time. What does the buzzword "e-businesses" really mean?