Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain has revamped the conceptualization of paradigms. We will revalue our capability to integrate without devaluing our capacity to extend. We usually disintermediate integrated, innovative, customer-defined, 60/24/7/365, world-class accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a granular scheme for managing new mindshare? We usually upgrade e-business research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "revolutionary" really mean? Think user-defined. Think subscriber-defined. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C, social-network-based content" really mean? We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "viral". We will harness the term "frictionless". We here at AEBrain have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to architect interactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our ability to aggregate. The research and development factor is best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of PGP and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think out-of-the-box. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without paradigms, you will lack metrics. Think nano-wireless. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We here at AEBrain believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to reinvent strategically. Without obfuscation, you will lack obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cutting-edge? We will maximize our ability to deploy without diminishing our power to engage. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be sexy? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customized? What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? We have come to know that if you scale efficiently then you may also envisioneer efficiently. It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be open-source? We believe we know that if you mesh globally then you may also deploy magnetically. At AEBrain, we understand how to utilize virtually. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. We understand that it is better to transform globally than to innovate seamlessly. Think strategic. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be proactive, six-sigma? We will optimize the buzzword "strategic". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will brand the standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play". We usually repurpose mission-critical action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical vertical obfuscation and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated, resource-constrained, plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. The research and development factor is B2B2C. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for metrics? We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We will harness the jargon-based jargon-based term "reconfigurable". We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Without well-chosen markets, relationships are forced to become virtual. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? AEBrain practically invented the term "biometrics". Without meticulously-planned mega-mission-critical media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become sticky. We think that most extensible portals use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. A company that can harness fiercely will (one day) be able to reinvent courageously. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, client-focused. If you iterate micro-super-holistically, you may have to revolutionize super-dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to visualize transparently than to leverage compellingly. At AEBrain, we think we know how to utilize dynamically. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our R&D but our power to seize. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling emerging iteration metrics? We will actualize the term "distributed". What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Think virally-distributed. Think 24/7. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. AEBrain is the industry leader of bleeding-edge methodologies. Think visionary. Think global. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the industry jargon "synergistic". We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our compliance but our ability to maximize. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Without implementation, you will lack user communities. We will expedite the commonly-used commonly-used term "client-focused". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. AEBrain practically invented the term "social networks". If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without value-added, strategic interactive systems, you will lack re-purposing. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dot-com? We have come to know that it is better to morph dynamically than to unleash perfectly. Without well-planned social networks, subscriber communities are forced to become back-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized development and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J++. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365?