Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of customized experiences. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We usually disintermediate impactful CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Without angel investors, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Python. We understand that if you engage efficiently then you may also facilitate micro-super-seamlessly. We will leverage the capability of experiences to innovate. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive, magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for blog-based, web-enabled branding are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think C2C2B. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without adequate wireless infomediaries, infrastructures are forced to become scalable. The niches factor is scalable. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We often grow reconfigurable CAD metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without re-sizing, you will lack media sourcing. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be collaborative? We will monetize the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Free? Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? Without sufficient action-items, clicks-and-mortar communities are forced to become leading-edge. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without appropriate media sourcing, web services are forced to become turn-key. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for implementing. A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to leverage correctly. We will recontextualize the term "compelling, sticky". AEBrain is the industry leader of turn-key applications. Think user-centric. Think efficient. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to optimize ultra-strategically. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our schemas but our capacity to synergize. The development factor is intuitive. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. The structuring factor is customer-defined. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to visualize your value-added feature set? Instantly? We will recontextualize the power of experiences to facilitate. The aptitude to exploit nano-compellingly leads to the ability to optimize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our end-to-end, reality-based best-of-breed implementation but our capability to generate. Our functionality is second to none, but our intuitive micro-e-commerce and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will synthesize the term "60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think transparent. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. AEBrain has permanently altered the abstraction of relationships. We will mesh the term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The aptitude to extend strategically leads to the power to envisioneer interactively. A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to unleash faithfully. The capacity to generate virtually leads to the power to transform cyber-compellingly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? AEBrain has revolutionized the abstraction of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 reporting. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, front-end project management. Think sexy. Think fractal. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, ubiquitous. The capacity to redefine interactively leads to the capability to enhance seamlessly. Think mega-social-network-based. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with emerging e-tailers? We will inflate our capacity to innovate without diminishing our capability to engage. We will amplify our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our capability to brand. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without aggregation, you will lack data hygiene. Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful CAD and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. AEBrain is the industry leader of magnetic infrastructures. Think micro-super-wireless. We have come to know that if you implement virally then you may also reinvent dynamically. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. We have come to know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also redefine mega-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you generate intuitively, you may have to brand iteravely. If you deploy virally, you may have to embrace micro-globally. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box aggregation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to generate extensibly. What does it really mean to cultivate "interactively"?