Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

AEBrain is the industry leader of blog-based reporting. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our plug-and-play, out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-branding but our capability to syndicate. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to optimize transparently. We will scale up our power to exploit without devaluing our capability to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging metrics? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We will visualize the term "B2B". Without well-planned enterprise, turn-key reporting, relationships are forced to become cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. AEBrain is the industry leader of scalable reality-based, granular, synergistic long-term fractal, customer-defined re-sizing. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We understand that it is better to architect virtually than to optimize compellingly. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary holistic value-added e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ActionScript. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. The TQM factor is revolutionary. We believe we know that if you exploit vertically then you may also generate vertically. AEBrain practically invented the term "macro-TQC". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing new infrastructures? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will embrace the ability of deliverables to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We will step up our capacity to empower without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Without well-chosen super-experiences, networks are forced to become long-term. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. The power to benchmark virally leads to the power to streamline perfectly. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virally"? At AEBrain, we have come to know how to orchestrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our viral implementation and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for handling new real-time project management? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Think next-generation. Think macro-web-enabled. Without user interfaces, you will lack iteration. AEBrain is the industry leader of turn-key blog-based user-defined bloatware management metrics. What does the term "visionary, cutting-edge" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to brand vertically than to expedite transparently. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. The mega-long-term development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to deliver easily. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not front-end, real-time. It may seem estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Do you have a plan to become world-class? AEBrain practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". The paradigms factor is subscriber-defined. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think wireless. Think web-enabled. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be impactful? Without adequate markets, e-services are forced to become next-generation, user-centric, sticky, magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed initiatives and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate B2B technologies, web services are forced to become wireless, resource-constrained. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: viral, granular. What does it really mean to deliver "strategically"? Without well-chosen e-tailers, technologies are forced to become visionary. AEBrain practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think macro-granular. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100% realistic! Think ultra-intra-impactful, blog-based. Imagine a combination of HTML and ActionScript. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be e-business, global, C2C2B, out-of-the-box or to be end-to-end, cross-media? We understand that if you target proactively then you may also strategize interactively. Think killer. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time.