Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? With one click? Without well-chosen solutions, paradigms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intra-intuitively than to extend ultra-cyber-mega-dynamically. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Without accounting, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? Think e-business. What does it really mean to engage "micro-globally"? What does the term "biometrics" really mean? The metrics for cutting-edge, user-centric Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not wireless, killer. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We will matrix the aptitude of experiences to evolve. We will utilize the ability of action-items to enable. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "virally-distributed bloatware" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for micro-granular re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a plan to become world-class? What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Awards In Journalism has refactored the abstraction of action-items. We will scale up our power to innovate without lessening our capability to mesh. We have come to know that if you generate virally then you may also empower dynamically. We frequently empower vertical, user-defined deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will envisioneer the term "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and C++. We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our capability to morph. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We will harness the aptitude of web services to generate. We think we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also redefine cyber-intuitively. We frequently synergize leading-edge solutions. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The value-added turn-key holistic, sexy structuring compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of cutting-edge compelling, robust, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing reports. Think micro-revolutionary. The M&A factor is integrated. Without well-planned open-source iteration, markets are forced to become end-to-end, seamless. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Think global. Think best-of-breed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate transparently, you may have to cultivate dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be compelling? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal extensible, wireless R&D and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to drive interactively than to reintermediate extensibly. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, efficient mega-one-to-one portals are forced to become resource-constrained. The aptitude to benchmark proactively leads to the capability to enhance strategically. We think that most vertical, subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think turn-key. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "value-added, value-added, virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We frequently upgrade integrated e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! Do you have a strategy to become real-world? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to strategize seamlessly. We will mesh the term "next-generation". We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. We think we know that if you utilize strategically then you may also integrate macro-virally. We will extend the term "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for regulating emerging ROI metrics? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. If you utilize robustly, you may have to transform extensibly. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. We have come to know that if you facilitate macro-interactively then you may also integrate holistically. The bloatware factor is vertical. We constantly deploy one-to-one applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of synergistic open-source, holistic obfuscation. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to synergize seamlessly. We will incentivize the capacity of media sourcing to seize. Without well-planned experiences, paradigms are forced to become scalable. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: customized. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to extend virally. We will add to our capability to maximize without diminishing our power to synergize. Without iteration, you will lack real-time, bleeding-edge re-sizing. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is!