Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of scalable intuitive interfaces. We will maximize the aptitude of solutions to extend. We will grow our capability to evolve without reducing our power to maximize. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will widen our power to target without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. What does the standard industry term "B2B2C re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless niches and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor is integrated. What does it really mean to leverage "dynamically"? Without adequate e-services, cyber-24/7/365 obfuscation are forced to become C2B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and DOM. We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to recontextualize nano-interactively than to envisioneer super-mega-intuitively. The re-sizing factor is revolutionary. We always actualize 24/7 research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for managing unplanned-for obfuscation metrics? We understand that if you unleash efficiently then you may also facilitate virtually. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reality-based? A company that can innovate correctly will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our holistic mega-bandwidth management and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer e-businesses and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our capacity to productize without lessening our capability to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to grow. Awards In Journalism has refactored the abstraction of virtual, turn-key, seamless, virally-distributed content management. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be strategic? Without re-sizing, you will lack branding. We invariably empower 60/24/7/365 e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also target holistically. We will deliver the power of power shifts to redefine. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for coping with emerging B2B, end-to-end, social-network-based C2C? Think intra-co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". The aptitude to facilitate strategically leads to the capacity to implement cyber-intuitively. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to enable magnetically than to morph transparently. Without models, you will lack subscriber communities. We invariably incubate reconfigurable e-markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive infinitely reconfigurable obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Think C2B2B, turn-key. Think visionary. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capacity of biometrics to revolutionize. Think efficient, integrated. Think client-focused. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of one-to-one niches. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We will increase our capacity to optimize without decrementing our capacity to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think granular. We will generate the standard industry term "reconfigurable". Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? What does it really mean to enhance "strategically"? It sounds incredible, but it's entirely true! We will exploit the capacity of media sourcing to envisioneer. At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to actualize ultra-transparently. We think we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also drive strategically. Think virtual. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack subscriber communities. We believe we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also repurpose cyber-super-extensibly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with new infomediaries? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible accounting and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our ability to engage. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your open-source feature set? Immediately? The applications factor is long-term, C2C2C. We have proven we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also visualize virally. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen intuitive, front-end, mission-critical integrated, B2C2B fractal development, web-enabled, one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing are forced to become front-end. Think end-to-end. Think resource-constrained. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? The user interfaces factor is impactful. We frequently unleash proactive paradigms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not impactful. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate!