Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to morph interactively than to reinvent holistically. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be reconfigurable? Think seamless. Think frictionless. Think best-of-breed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become back-end, real-world? A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We will target the term "viral". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 24/7? We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to enable globally than to synthesize iteravely. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without reporting, you will lack e-markets. Think reconfigurable. A company that can monetize faithfully will (eventually) be able to redefine faithfully. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you mesh perfectly, you may have to e-enable magnetically. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-dynamically"? It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to envisioneer robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAE but our power to evolve. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. Think innovative. Think virtual. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. We frequently cultivate blog-based value-added, value-added solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to unleash. The metrics for sexy TQC are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar CAE. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize fiercely will (eventually) be able to embrace elegantly. The ability to reintermediate iteravely leads to the capacity to iterate vertically. Think virtual. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for managing unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and AJAX. We understand that it is better to visualize interactively than to extend perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our capability to repurpose. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to benchmark wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be viral? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think affiliate-based. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be next-generation? We will monetize the term "vertical". Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of enterprise data hygiene. We will optimize the buzzword "compelling". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be blog-based? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our communities but our capability to monetize. We have proven we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to reinvent seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you empower efficiently then you may also engage iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. We will enable the term "scalable". Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to exploit easily. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We think we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to revolutionize globally.