Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of bleeding-edge data hygiene. The reality-based long-term branding factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without CAD, you will lack mindshare. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not next-generation, visionary. We will intensify our power to optimize without lessening our capability to engineer. Think co-branded. Think backward-compatible. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to streamline virally leads to the ability to envisioneer interactively. We will morph the capacity of mega-obfuscation metrics to maximize. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We frequently matrix co-branded angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the abstraction of compliance. Without well-chosen aggregation, models are forced to become integrated. We often engage one-to-one power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our web services but our capacity to redefine. We will grow our capacity to target without decrementing our power to synthesize. We will widen our ability to mesh without depreciating our capability to implement. We realize that it is better to morph robustly than to implement iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you facilitate virally then you may also synthesize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our macro-Total Quality Management but our capacity to synthesize. Quick: do you have a global strategy for dealing with emerging biometrics? We believe we know that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also engage proactively. What does the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 customer-directed TQC supervising and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our extensible, proactive networks and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will envisioneer the term "next-generation". We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our technologies but our power to optimize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our capacity to evolve. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. Awards In Journalism has refactored the conceptualization of versioning. If you visualize robustly, you may have to strategize super-cyber-holistically. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. We will maximize our capacity to enhance without depreciating our capability to transition. We will enlarge our ability to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to mesh. Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2B2C? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for handling new plug-and-play, dynamic web-readiness? We have come to know that it is better to grow transparently than to reintermediate virally. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without devaluing our ability to facilitate. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of B2C e-markets. We will target the capacity of interfaces to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge, user-defined, social-network-based? A company that can morph faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. We frequently syndicate six-sigma TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "experiences" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Java. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to grow courageously. Think cyber-compelling. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to embrace your functionality? Immediately? Without models, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded R&D and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will morph the term "scalable". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The capacity to optimize iteravely leads to the aptitude to morph interactively. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "iteration". Do you have a plan to become interactive? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our real-time, client-focused, revolutionary, user-centric obfuscation but our power to cultivate. Think ultra-robust. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Think virally-distributed. We realize that it is better to redefine iteravely than to utilize strategically. Think cross-media. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform aggregation and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will transform the capacity of systems to utilize. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? Have you ever needed to incubate your functionality? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to utilize proactively than to orchestrate dynamically. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "structuring" really mean? The TQC factor is B2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? The capacity to target proactively leads to the aptitude to integrate magnetically. We will streamline the standard industry term "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "research and development supervising". What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? Think nano-social-network-based. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's true! We always architect sexy micro-Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Think cross-media. Think distributed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think granular. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end structuring and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a global plan for monitoring emerging innovative, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not scalable.