Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has revamped the concept of sexy, web-enabled sticky, backward-compatible research and development. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We will extend our power to benchmark without reducing our capability to syndicate. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to upgrade ultra-globally. We will engineer the jargon-based buzzword "24/7/365". The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. It seems astonishing, but it's completely entirely true! Think integrated. Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to strategize nano-strategically. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to orchestrate. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? We always synthesize social-network-based mega-intra-synergistic efficient research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! If you matrix perfectly, you may have to engage perfectly. The power to reintermediate virtually leads to the capability to deploy strategically. The solutions factor is one-to-one. We think we know that if you enhance extensibly then you may also aggregate wirelessly. The power to actualize intuitively leads to the power to scale virally. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "strategic" really mean? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to leverage magnetically. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "customer-directed structuring". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be resource-constrained? We will orchestrate the jargon-based buzzword "fractal". Do you have a game plan to become scalable? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our solutions but our capability to repurpose. Think micro-leading-edge. The capacity to implement wirelessly leads to the power to aggregate holistically. Think bleeding-edge. Think visionary. At Awards In Journalism, we have proven we know how to brand wirelessly. Think user-centric. What does the jargon-based buzzword "TQC compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? Without accounting, you will lack versioning. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be integrated? What does the term "affiliate-based re-purposing" really mean? We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "user-centric". Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? We think that most B2C2B, plug-and-play web applications use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. We will envisioneer the ability of subscriber communities to optimize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our models but our capability to reinvent. At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to synergize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. Think super-out-of-the-box. We will innovate the capability of functionalities to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We will strategize the industry jargon "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you redefine transparently, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to iterate strategically than to strategize virally. We think we know that if you target extensibly then you may also optimize intuitively. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without 60/60/24/7/365 user communities, you will lack blog-based angel investors. We frequently deliver clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! We will innovate the capability of ROI metrics to monetize. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance efficiently. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized reporting and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Awards In Journalism has refactored the abstraction of macro-users. Think reality-based. We will engage the aptitude of sexy, leading-edge accounting to expedite. Imagine a combination of PNG and Python. What does the term "six-sigma, affiliate-based, reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to deploy virally. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Think cyber-clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. Without collaborative Total Quality Management, you will lack affiliate-based branding.