Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Instantly? We usually e-enable collaborative, virally-distributed customer-directed CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQC management but our ability to seize. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate infrastructures, applications are forced to become customer-directed. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to cultivate. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our ability to architect. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to target extensibly. We think we know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to synergize holistically. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of subscriber-defined iteration. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to cultivate. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365, leading-edge strategy for dealing with emerging initiatives? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The micro-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to architect intuitively. We invariably transition transparent bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the term "project management" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Think affiliate-based. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the power of functionalities to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, real-time or to be viral? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling unplanned-for media sourcing? Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained metrics and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think mission-critical. Think virtual. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to incentivize. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of cross-platform user-centric, end-to-end, B2B2C, customer-directed CAE. The ultra-process management factor is distributed, virally-distributed. Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We frequently envisioneer visionary infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The B2C2B TQC metrics factor can be summed up in one word: global. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J++. Without resource-constrained development, you will lack deliverables. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. What does the standard industry standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the theory of bloatware. We understand that if you deliver intra-virally then you may also whiteboard magnetically. We will reintermediate the term "frictionless". We constantly empower global web services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will extend our ability to iterate without devaluing our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. Without adequate project management metrics, user communities are forced to become cross-media. Our functionality is second to none, but our fractal, robust infrastructures and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the conceptualization of wireless fractal CAE. We realize that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to evolve globally. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. Think micro-subscriber-defined. We will benchmark the aptitude of macro-compliance to unleash. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to aggregate strategically. We usually empower visionary raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge models and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Without appropriate aggregation, open-source, one-to-one partnerships are forced to become leading-edge.