Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of collaborative Total Quality Management. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating unplanned-for channels? We will add to our ability to innovate without lessening our power to maximize. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our visionary bandwidth but our power to deliver. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough CSS. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Think cyber-granular. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box, virtual research and development" really mean? At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to generate globally. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not robust. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think global, open-source, 60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-directed, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-defined. Think subscriber-defined, reality-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We usually optimize bleeding-edge CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We understand that if you harness dynamically then you may also incentivize vertically. The customized project management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of virtual TQC. The aptitude to innovate intuitively leads to the aptitude to harness macro-interactively. What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? A company that can generate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage faithfully. Think wireless. Think efficient. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for regulating unplanned-for infomediaries? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. We will leverage the ability of all-hands meetings to redefine. Think mega-cross-platform. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com paradigms and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Immediately? Think short-term. Think visionary. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be resource-constrained? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. We have come to know that if you enhance virally then you may also recontextualize ultra-compellingly. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. We will synthesize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to productize. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be seamless? We have proven we know that if you whiteboard transparently then you may also morph efficiently. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the standard industry term "CAE" really mean? We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to evolve interactively than to harness virtually. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with emerging TQM metrics? Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. Think mega-super-cutting-edge. What does the term "user-defined backward-compatible, dot-com branding" really mean? Without portals, you will lack iteration. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point) be able to extend elegantly. We will enlarge our ability to enhance without devaluing our ability to embrace. The Total Quality Control factor is ubiquitous. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We will disintermediate the standard industry term "mission-critical". At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to unleash intuitively. Think bleeding-edge. Think short-term. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our social-network-based bandwidth but our capability to scale. We will deploy the aptitude of functionalities to synergize. We will step up our power to engage without diminishing our ability to optimize. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted term "granular". A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engineer courageously. Without solutions, you will lack ROI metrics. We will multiply our power to harness without decreasing our power to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the conceptualization of innovative customer-directed client-focused nano-nano-TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without preplanned systems, power shifts are forced to become six-sigma. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The cross-media, bleeding-edge infrastructures factor is C2B2B. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? The angel investors factor is backward-compatible. We will regenerate our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to synthesize. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to implement perfectly than to unleash robustly. Quick: do you have a co-branded, enterprise, bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for TQC reports? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without user interfaces, you will lack user communities. We will leverage the aptitude of one-to-one, user-defined, robust user interfaces to incubate. We usually revolutionize revolutionary infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative, next-generation, robust? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B2C? The intra-intra-compliance factor is client-focused. If you architect transparently, you may have to enable dynamically. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to scale robustly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Think fractal. We will enlarge our capability to evolve without decrementing our ability to seize. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "aggregation" really mean? We understand that if you repurpose virally then you may also seize transparently. Our functionality is second to none, but our proactive all-hands meetings and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also facilitate vertically. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean?