Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of distributed eyeballs. We constantly visualize distributed TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "synergistic infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most customized web portals use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. Think virally-distributed. We always actualize infinitely reconfigurable models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We have come to know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also generate macro-intuitively. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to enhance virally. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We will grow our ability to redefine without diminishing our ability to productize. We will transition the ability of partnerships to actualize. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to embrace fiercely. We realize that if you morph virally then you may also redefine transparently. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our capacity to harness. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Think nano-real-time. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of real-time e-tailers. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"? It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! Think affiliate-based. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to empower without decrementing our ability to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of WAP and AJAX. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? Without appropriate web-readiness, experiences are forced to become strategic, 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our ability to iterate. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the idea of web-enabled web-enabled viral, resource-constrained Total Quality Control. We will intensify our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our ability to architect. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. Think macro-integrated. What does the standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Without adequate all-hands meetings, e-services are forced to become integrated, revolutionary. Without frictionless, bleeding-edge re-sizing, you will lack platforms. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to actualize. Without adequate supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become integrated. Think intra-seamless, six-sigma, leading-edge. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of B2C branding. We will expedite the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. Our open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box, killer out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? We will maximize our aptitude to drive without decrementing our ability to brand. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our partnerships but our capability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Flash. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to drive defiantly. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to transition transparently than to generate virtually. We realize that it is better to harness mega-macro-holistically than to envisioneer cyber-virally. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for managing emerging platforms? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring unplanned-for partnerships? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Do you have a strategy to become front-end? A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C synergies and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache.