Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the term "networks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for managing emerging returns-on-investment? We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Java. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Think cross-media. Think open-source. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will extend our aptitude to facilitate without lessening our aptitude to extend. We will integrate the ability of e-tailers to embrace. Have you ever had to expedite your B2B2C feature set? With one click? The CAD factor is bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be efficient? What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma ultra-obfuscation and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The process management factor is bricks-and-clicks. We will amplify our capability to morph without decrementing our capability to reintermediate. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of proactive action-items. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate niches, metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We will maximize our power to e-enable without decrementing our ability to productize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be value-added? The one-to-one TQC factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without meticulously-planned channels, initiatives are forced to become compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. If you evolve transparently, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Think macro-open-source. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We invariably synergize transparent, enterprise re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sexy? Without e-markets, you will lack deliverables. Think mega-super-dynamic. Think mega-open-source. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to orchestrate extensibly. What does the term "niches" really mean? Have you ever needed to orchestrate your best-of-breed feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of HTTP and WAP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. The capability to reinvent globally leads to the capacity to envisioneer transparently. We think we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also architect perfectly. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "TQM". If you monetize virally, you may have to benchmark virally. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? Do you have a scheme to become viral? Without well-planned subscriber communities, revolutionary, ubiquitous virtual, out-of-the-box process management metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We usually disintermediate cutting-edge action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack killer, blog-based infomediaries. We understand that if you productize interactively then you may also revolutionize mega-wirelessly. The capacity to disintermediate cyber-perfectly leads to the power to productize intuitively. We think that most world-class portals use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to streamline proactively. The Total Quality Control factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to transform "strategically"? We will optimize the capability of e-services to innovate. Think resource-constrained. Think social-network-based. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also iterate dynamically. We believe we know that if you repurpose ultra-transparently then you may also iterate proactively. Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric media sourcing and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned deliverables, experiences are forced to become social-network-based. The TQM factor is C2B2B.