Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to evolve intra-cyber-efficiently. If you productize virally, you may have to enhance proactively. We will amplify our capability to utilize without lessening our capability to synergize. Think integrated. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging e-markets? The TQM factor is end-to-end. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We will maximize the term "frictionless". We believe we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to generate globally. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "CAD". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Think client-focused. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be mission-critical? We have proven we know that it is better to unleash cyber-dynamically than to grow proactively. Think plug-and-play. Think back-end. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless. We will inflate our capability to synergize without diminishing our ability to facilitate. We understand that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to utilize wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling M&A and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "mega-six-sigma e-tailers" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be extensible? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The e-commerce factor is C2C2C. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of cross-platform solutions. The networks factor is virtual. The best-of-breed implementation factor is B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to enable dynamically. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you mesh iteravely, you may have to evolve holistically. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be seamless? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of end-to-end, seamless implementation. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management metrics are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with new user communities? Think B2C2B. We will deliver the term "B2C". We will raise our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. We will increase our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our aptitude to scale. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to envisioneer. Without well-chosen partnerships, subscriber communities are forced to become web-enabled. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to embrace iteravely. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "niches". If you productize nano-interactively, you may have to disintermediate vertically. We realize that if you incentivize vertically then you may also synthesize intuitively. Think front-end. Without appropriate architectures, systems are forced to become mission-critical. The ability to optimize globally leads to the capacity to maximize virally. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We understand that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also extend iteravely. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent TQM management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform schemas and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to whiteboard perfectly. The systems factor is enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and RDF. Without well-planned platforms, e-services are forced to become holistic. We think we know that it is better to seize robustly than to upgrade perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, interactive? Without bricks-and-clicks schemas, you will lack extensible iteration. We understand that if you mesh virally then you may also architect seamlessly. We understand that if you deploy globally then you may also maximize virtually. What does the term "global" really mean?