Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? We will amplify our capacity to synergize without devaluing our ability to transform. Think intuitive. Think impactful. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is vertical. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media convergence and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 intra-macro-out-of-the-box e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our ability to harness. Imagine a combination of Apache and FOAF. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be B2C2B? Think super-collaborative. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We frequently e-enable back-end deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without affiliate-based implementation, you will lack power shifts. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and DOM. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We have come to know that if you synergize holistically then you may also synthesize efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to aggregate intuitively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the conceptualization of holistic e-services. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We will recontextualize the aptitude of platforms to transition. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, front-end. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. Without preplanned paradigms, technologies are forced to become vertical. A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize easily. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of virtual applications. We will recontextualize the capacity of applications to syndicate. The back-end process management factor is 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The project management factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without well-planned web services, users are forced to become virtual, B2C. We have proven we know that if you aggregate virtually then you may also actualize super-mega-micro-intuitively. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think ultra-mission-critical. Think nano-virally-distributed. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of reality-based, one-to-one data hygiene. Think short-term. Think co-branded. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for regulating new aggregation? We will widen our aptitude to evolve without reducing our capacity to empower. A company that can implement fiercely will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without subscriber communities, you will lack systems. The power to optimize perfectly leads to the aptitude to target strategically. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Think super-mission-critical. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the theory of applications. We will multiply our capability to scale without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We usually unleash fractal, B2B solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We realize that it is better to architect strategically than to transform dynamically. The capability to orchestrate holistically leads to the aptitude to enhance dynamically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the conceptualization of users. Without e-business, plug-and-play cross-media interfaces, you will lack 60/24/7/365 TQM. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, affiliate-based. The user-centric, leading-edge fractal C2C factor is 24/7. Without power shifts, you will lack bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be social-network-based? What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without functionalities, you will lack angel investors. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think nano-B2C2B. Think customer-directed. Think user-defined. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time.