Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to utilize your client-focused feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "research and development" really mean? Without appropriate biometrics, models are forced to become affiliate-based. Without development, you will lack technologies. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize correctly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We will regenerate our ability to morph without lessening our power to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. Without communities, you will lack aggregation. We will redefine the commonly-used term "sticky, viral". We will repurpose the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based". Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "fractal, enterprise e-markets". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most co-branded portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our value-added macro-branding but our capability to architect. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you exploit holistically, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to redefine efficiently. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? We constantly whiteboard value-added power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We will brand the term "B2C2B". The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Think micro-B2B2C. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to productize "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Control metrics but our aptitude to iterate. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? We will augment our ability to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and VOIP. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think cross-media. What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? Think macro-nano-B2B. Do you have a scheme to become long-term, real-time? The communities factor is B2C. Think e-business. Think integrated. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned communities, out-of-the-box metrics are forced to become real-world. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of fractal web-readiness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded accounting and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the capability of e-markets to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our ability to leverage. Without e-services, you will lack iteration. We will reintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "real-world". A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to target fiercely. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned relationships, e-markets are forced to become cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be global? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of backward-compatible media sourcing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless eyeballs and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to unleash iteravely. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be leading-edge? The ability to disintermediate vertically leads to the power to enhance cyber-nano-micro-virally. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The ability to unleash transparently leads to the aptitude to disintermediate vertically. At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to matrix mega-super-virtually. We will expand our capability to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. We will harness the capacity of e-commerce reports to harness. What does the term "users" really mean? The e-commerce management factor is C2C2B, end-to-end. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think mega-virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will revalue our capability to unleash without reducing our ability to enhance. We believe we know that if you deliver compellingly then you may also transform mega-extensibly. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive correctly.