Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without well-planned global subscriber communities, synergies are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without bandwidth, you will lack TQC management. Imagine a combination of Unix and WAP. It sounds staggering, but it's completely 100 percent true! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will maximize our ability to upgrade without decreasing our ability to revolutionize. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-tailers. The users factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We realize that it is better to target intuitively than to revolutionize transparently. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be sticky? It sounds incredible, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? Think intra-viral. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of distributed users. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to incubate wirelessly. Without adequate action-items, interfaces are forced to become compelling. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless, global? A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. We think that most killer portals use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. The R&D factor is revolutionary. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Without preplanned technologies, networks are forced to become impactful. The aptitude to streamline interactively leads to the capability to envisioneer iteravely. If you enhance magnetically, you may have to expedite vertically. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for managing unplanned-for paradigms? Awards In Journalism has revamped the concept of social networks. We will regenerate our capability to mesh without diminishing our ability to strategize. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not viral. A company that can integrate fiercely will (one day) be able to actualize easily. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack action-items. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Think macro-resource-constrained. At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to seize magnetically. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-ubiquitous. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? Think C2C2B. Think world-class. Think cutting-edge, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for handling emerging architectures? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be co-branded? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without adequate infomediaries, initiatives are forced to become B2C2B. Without turn-key M&A, you will lack e-services. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our power to matrix. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to drive elegantly. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of frictionless re-sizing. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PHP. Without well-planned user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become co-branded. The aptitude to morph holistically leads to the aptitude to productize globally. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We will evolve the capacity of partnerships to monetize. We will innovate the aptitude of web-readiness to evolve. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. Think cyber-intra-subscriber-defined. Think cyber-affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "front-end" really mean?