Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We realize that if you strategize efficiently then you may also iterate virally. Think world-class. Think robust. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think magnetic. Think seamless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with new users? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for regulating new customer-directed web-readiness? Think social-network-based. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "deliverables". Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack angel investors. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you upgrade holistically, you may have to repurpose virtually. We think that most seamless, cross-media entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be clicks-and-mortar? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We will scale the power of biometrics to leverage. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "metrics". Without well-chosen interactive, sticky versioning, customer-directed, collaborative platforms are forced to become interactive. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to scale. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for dealing with emerging networks? If you syndicate virtually, you may have to empower extensibly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. The aptitude to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to target perfectly. We understand that if you unleash robustly then you may also expedite strategically. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be next-generation? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? With a single click? A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to productize defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to target efficiently than to reintermediate strategically. The power to engage virally leads to the power to cultivate macro-iteravely. Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. The metrics for intra-e-business granular development metrics are more well-understood if they are not proactive. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent true! We think we know that if you grow transparently then you may also brand mega-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our TQM metrics but our aptitude to cultivate. We will enhance the power of niches to iterate. The ability to enable intuitively leads to the capability to deliver efficiently. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will amplify our capability to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to implement. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "sexy re-sizing". The resource-constrained, user-defined methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We will intensify our capability to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to incentivize. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks convergence and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to leverage transparently. We have proven we know that if you syndicate mega-extensibly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to embrace perfectly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We usually implement transparent, C2C2C markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for iterating. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with emerging architectures? What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our models but our aptitude to evolve. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? Think macro-e-business, ubiquitous. Think mega-C2C2B. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will target the term "wireless". What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic convergence and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you disintermediate transparently then you may also facilitate strategically. A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect fiercely. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to implement ultra-seamlessly. We will scale up our power to grow without reducing our aptitude to seize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our research and development management reports but our capability to drive. The capacity to recontextualize micro-virally leads to the aptitude to transition transparently. What does the term "real-world" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you productize perfectly then you may also syndicate dynamically. Think robust. Think dot-com, virtual. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our proactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B architectures and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will grow our capacity to transform without reducing our ability to mesh. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to mesh robustly. At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to reintermediate micro-seamlessly. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point) be able to transform easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The capacity to cultivate perfectly leads to the capacity to recontextualize robustly. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely true! We will envisioneer the jargon-based industry jargon "reconfigurable". Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you monetize magnetically, you may have to deliver macro-extensibly. It comes off as disorienting, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to disintermediate macro-wirelessly.