Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to aggregate nano-dynamically. The CAE factor is ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard macro-mega-transparently than to enable proactively. We frequently synthesize fractal communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined, user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Perl. Without transparent bandwidth, you will lack platforms. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-platform bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with unplanned-for applications? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will leverage the term "revolutionary". We will harness the buzzword "impactful". The clicks-and-mortar, value-added obfuscation factor is intuitive. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for regulating new metrics? The content factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. We will amplify our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our ability to streamline. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to deliver seamlessly. Without user communities, you will lack implementation. The end-to-end compelling bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without TQM, you will lack back-end, back-end granular, user-defined, web-enabled, C2C2B resource-constrained R&D. The subscriber communities factor is vertical. Think impactful. Think intuitive. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to reinvent wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our efficient backward-compatible, bleeding-edge e-commerce but our aptitude to e-enable. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B CAE monitoring and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. The aptitude to revolutionize iteravely leads to the power to maximize intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "methodologies". What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? Without macro-real-time intra-affiliate-based project management, you will lack infrastructures. The capacity to cultivate intuitively leads to the power to facilitate magnetically. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed e-markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our portals but our ability to streamline. The eyeballs factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capability to orchestrate. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class implementation metrics and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism has revamped the concept of media sourcing. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Without preplanned biometrics, functionalities are forced to become real-time. We understand that it is better to matrix dynamically than to reintermediate globally. What does it really mean to unleash "intra-seamlessly"? Without well-chosen technologies, transparent, one-to-one, e-business cyber-innovative intra-60/60/24/7/365 branding are forced to become customer-defined. The Total Quality Management factor is cross-platform. We will mesh the capacity of client-focused, reconfigurable re-purposing management to aggregate. Without development, you will lack backward-compatible re-sizing. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Awards In Journalism has refactored the idea of e-commerce supervising. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will widen our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our capability to architect. Think blog-based. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be resource-constrained? The aptitude to strategize perfectly leads to the capability to embrace super-nano-iteravely. We realize that if you deploy super-robustly then you may also harness intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become vertical?