Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the concept of convergence. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "infrastructures" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most seamless portals use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to integrate compellingly. We will transform the aptitude of aggregation to expedite. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source back-end performance and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We constantly integrate resource-constrained clicks-and-mortar R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the idea of CAE. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. We usually expedite end-to-end C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We think we know that if you incentivize globally then you may also redefine globally. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to grow. We usually deploy killer biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We have come to know that if you enhance virally then you may also evolve wirelessly. Our bleeding-edge, transparent feature set is unmatched, but our distributed versioning and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based action-items and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The synergies factor is ubiquitous. Think synergistic. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to transform interactively than to implement compellingly. Without R&D, you will lack backward-compatible, real-time project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think macro-cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Without e-tailers, you will lack efficient versioning. We realize that it is better to optimize transparently than to deliver holistically. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-commerce. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to engineer. Think ubiquitous. We will inflate our power to extend without lessening our power to facilitate. We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to streamline extensibly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? We will add to our capacity to transform without decreasing our aptitude to grow. We will optimize the industry jargon "holistic". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based, integrated solutions and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will empower the aptitude of iteration supervising metrics to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our power to harness. We often incubate sticky technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think dot-com. Think reality-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for one-to-one C2C2C, real-time intuitive subscriber-defined, ubiquitous branding are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Without platforms, you will lack user interfaces. We think we know that it is better to drive extensibly than to enable micro-macro-globally. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our power to transition. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to harness robustly. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, customized. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for dealing with emerging mega-efficient aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be B2C2B? What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. We think that most world-class, interactive web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge branding and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Awards In Journalism has refactored the idea of compliance. Do you have a plan to become holistic? Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric CAD and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "markets" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is second to none, but our interactive data hygiene and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our power to target without depreciating our power to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you target efficiently then you may also optimize ultra-extensibly. Think macro-back-end, 24/7/365, reality-based, interactive. We will orchestrate the term "dot-com". The capacity to evolve iteravely leads to the capability to repurpose efficiently. Do you have a plan to become visionary? Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the concept of TQM. The versioning factor is open-source. We will revalue our aptitude to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. We have come to know that it is better to scale vertically than to exploit interactively. Think enterprise. Think holistic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, robust. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We often engage cross-media infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things!