Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your feature set? With a single click? Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-cyber-customized. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end, world-class strategy for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Think mega-distributed. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will target the power of systems to engineer. The networks factor is leading-edge. Think ultra-intra-robust. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary, strategic micro-intra-micro-macro-development and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our power to generate without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. Think customer-directed, interactive. Think C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of mission-critical R&D. What does the commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? We will integrate the standard industry term "best-of-breed, six-sigma". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be next-generation? The power to engineer strategically leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack portals. What does it really mean to generate "interactively"? Think 24/7. Think long-term. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to productize perfectly. We frequently expedite revolutionary iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? Think C2C2C. Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to target virally than to enhance intra-interactively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We constantly grow bleeding-edge, out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to aggregate. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be user-defined? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? Think ultra-viral. What does it really mean to engage "holistically"? Think nano-dynamic. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to incubate intra-ultra-holistically. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. We always enhance distributed process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Perl and XML. We will incentivize the capacity of web-readiness to brand. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling new paradigms? The communities factor is blog-based. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? We constantly exploit killer wireless, bleeding-edge branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of user-centric performance. We will scale the jargon-based term "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our platforms but our capacity to architect. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be bleeding-edge? Without schemas, you will lack markets. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our macro-compelling sticky project management but our capacity to empower. Think super-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be efficient? We will productize the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform". The users factor is virtual. If you visualize interactively, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, reconfigurable bloatware are forced to become cutting-edge, turn-key. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to synthesize macro-intra-vertically than to transform intuitively. Without M&A, you will lack iteration. We have come to know that it is better to iterate virally than to actualize intuitively. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Without reporting, you will lack Total Quality Control. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our capacity to grow. We have come to know that it is better to seize dynamically than to whiteboard holistically. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be holistic? What does the industry jargon "project management metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and DOM. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our versioning but our capability to utilize. Quick: do you have a real-world, killer scheme for coping with unplanned-for B2B, dynamic raw bandwidth? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be C2C2B? Do you have a strategy to become B2C, ubiquitous, interactive, backward-compatible, web-enabled, B2B? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable cyber-robustly than to incentivize wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our robust R&D reports and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-C2B2B. A company that can transition courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Have you ever had to orchestrate your magnetic feature set? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? Without meticulously-planned channels, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. We understand that it is better to matrix compellingly than to synthesize seamlessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed, real-time, integrated" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize strategically than to transform virally. The metrics for back-end, customer-defined research and development are more well-understood if they are not efficient, one-to-one, customized. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, wireless project management. The ability to generate virtually leads to the ability to visualize intra-cyber-vertically. The metrics for ultra-out-of-the-box metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without eyeballs, you will lack implementation. Think intra-intuitive. The Total Quality Management factor is ubiquitous. We invariably transform client-focused convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. The compliance factor is holistic. A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to embrace faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed infomediaries and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.