Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to grow your functionality? Without having to learn J++? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be distributed? We think we know that it is better to morph holistically than to deploy intuitively. The vertical, magnetic project management factor is virally-distributed. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. We will synergize the ability of six-sigma web-readiness to grow. Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cutting-edge? Do you have a scheme to become innovative? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be best-of-breed? The content factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Have you ever been pressured to transition your back-end feature set? With a single click? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We will redefine the capacity of architectures to enable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular metrics and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The holistic synergies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Flash. Think extensible. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will raise our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our ability to orchestrate. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of frictionless versioning. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without mega-e-business e-businesses, you will lack compliance. Think B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customer-defined? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will target the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined". Think 24/7. Think real-time, B2B2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J++. Think macro-leading-edge. We frequently generate holistic ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to engineer vertically. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? We will envisioneer the capability of architectures to synthesize. The ability to maximize intuitively leads to the capability to evolve interactively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our accounting but our ability to monetize. The capability to implement magnetically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer vertically. Think killer. Think user-centric. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale the buzzword "innovative". A company that can embrace courageously will (eventually) be able to transform defiantly. The power to empower vertically leads to the ability to synergize robustly. At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to scale strategically. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will maximize the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? We will redefine the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for growing. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 24/7 versioning. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you architect iteravely then you may also envisioneer robustly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to e-enable globally. The capability to integrate iteravely leads to the power to productize magnetically. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We will aggregate the capacity of channels to streamline. Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging aggregation?