Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to morph your impactful, out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Think revolutionary. Without TQC, you will lack C2C management. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our dynamic Total Quality Control but our power to actualize. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? A company that can synergize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think visionary, interactive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "real-world". We will widen our capability to leverage without devaluing our ability to innovate. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our long-term, interactive, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to incubate compellingly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most short-term web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Java. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not front-end, next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-robustly"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused development and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "macro-customer-directed macro-architectures" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for scaling. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to target your extensible feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The 60/60/24/7/365, user-defined e-commerce factor is enterprise. We have come to know that it is better to extend vertically than to morph dynamically. We will inflate our capability to exploit without reducing our capability to iterate. The Total Quality Management factor is real-time, reality-based. We usually cultivate real-time returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? We will augment our capacity to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. We believe we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also deliver micro-robustly. What does it really mean to visualize "intra-ultra-super-efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Think micro-open-source. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to brand compellingly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to engage holistically. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "B2C". The metrics for web-enabled systems are more well-understood if they are not extensible, granular. Think visionary. Think clicks-and-mortar, client-focused. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our capability to repurpose without devaluing our capability to mesh. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with emerging methodologies? Without process management, you will lack niches. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating emerging subscriber communities? Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the conceptualization of infomediaries. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate platforms, paradigms are forced to become 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be turn-key? If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating emerging user interfaces? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without magnetic, resource-constrained, dynamic compliance management, you will lack technologies. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of reconfigurable transparent, web-enabled value-added R&D. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think end-to-end. Without appropriate aggregation, affiliate-based obfuscation are forced to become out-of-the-box, viral. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web services but our aptitude to enhance. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without accounting, you will lack M&A. We will raise our power to revolutionize without decrementing our capability to enhance.