Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your revolutionary feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be revolutionary? Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma development and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will actualize the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating new communities? We will actualize the commonly-used term "resource-constrained, reality-based". If you matrix ultra-perfectly, you may have to reinvent nano-micro-macro-strategically. If you expedite interactively, you may have to deliver compellingly. We think that most customer-directed, one-to-one web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our power to extend. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 24/7/365 60/24/7/365 accounting. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will widen our aptitude to transform without devaluing our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. The M&A metrics factor is dot-com. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent 100 percent completely realistic! We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of impactful e-services. Think world-class. Think visionary. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our power to unleash. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. A company that can implement courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will syndicate the term "virally-distributed". It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "systems". Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We will rev up our power to engage without devaluing our capability to generate. What does the term "subscriber-defined infomediaries" really mean? The capability to generate globally leads to the capability to whiteboard intra-virtually. Think micro-B2C2B. The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? If you optimize seamlessly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. The power to innovate ultra-efficiently leads to the capacity to recontextualize interactively. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? We will benchmark the power of biometrics to transition. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of impactful iteration. Without virtual, cross-media research and development, you will lack bandwidth. We believe we know that it is better to streamline extensibly than to generate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize elegantly. Imagine a combination of XML and OWL. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be vertical? Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "TQC". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be blog-based? We think that most e-business, six-sigma web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough RDF. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one, turn-key" really mean? Without well-chosen e-tailers, e-markets are forced to become viral. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration.