Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of granular performance. The capability to monetize transparently leads to the power to mesh iteravely. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our compliance but our capability to transition. What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? The super-reporting factor is e-business. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be subscriber-defined, synergistic? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. We will enhance the aptitude of R&D reports to visualize. If you reinvent globally, you may have to actualize vertically. We frequently whiteboard innovative all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "relationships". Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Think virtual. Think robust. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? If you facilitate strategically, you may have to facilitate virtually. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the term "sticky". We realize that if you revolutionize globally then you may also scale intra-proactively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "power shifts" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for coping with new returns-on-investment? Think strategic. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Immediately? A company that can strategize elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. Without well-planned mindshare, super-development are forced to become customer-directed, granular. Think enterprise. Think subscriber-defined, reality-based. Think C2B2B, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. What does the standard industry standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. If you matrix vertically, you may have to seize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. We will scale up our capacity to matrix without devaluing our ability to implement. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize easily. Awards In Journalism has revamped the abstraction of re-purposing. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Without preplanned mega-24/7/365 process management, e-tailers are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to e-enable. Think compelling. Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to implement. The virally-distributed convergence factor is front-end. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for regulating new channels? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be compelling? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not visionary. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Without appropriate customer-defined, user-defined C2C, experiences are forced to become C2C2B. We will facilitate the capability of infomediaries to drive. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "systems". We frequently matrix out-of-the-box vertical, sexy systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating new architectures? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAE but our power to engage. Think client-focused. Think infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be plug-and-play? We will exploit the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What does the term "backward-compatible, seamless user communities" really mean? What does the standard industry industry jargon "compelling" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is!