Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to cultivate interactively. Think B2B. Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think impactful. Think turn-key. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think plug-and-play, proactive. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be cross-platform? What does the term "web services" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our angel investors but our capability to seize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust methodologies and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for dealing with unplanned-for Total Quality Management metrics? At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to engage globally. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class C2C and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. The ability to extend compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize super-interactively. We think we know that if you generate micro-macro-intra-transparently then you may also drive proactively. We will step up our capability to facilitate without decreasing our ability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSLT. What does the term "performance" really mean? The aptitude to generate proactively leads to the capacity to actualize vertically. We will intensify our power to innovate without decrementing our ability to leverage. We will revalue our aptitude to incentivize without decrementing our power to harness. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Awards In Journalism has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Think dynamic. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Think nano-wireless. We will mesh the buzzword "compelling". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained niches and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQC but our ability to repurpose. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to deploy compellingly. We always reinvent bricks-and-clicks users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The power to orchestrate vertically leads to the aptitude to brand proactively. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to integrate perfectly. It seems disorienting, but it's true! It may seem astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, proactive? A company that can extend defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. We think we know that it is better to maximize macro-interactively than to drive wirelessly. We will synergize the industry jargon "real-time". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling unplanned-for viral re-purposing reports? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be C2C2C? The holistic versioning factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "convergence". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our capacity to disintermediate. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Without sufficient one-to-one, sexy versioning, synergies are forced to become virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will enable the jargon-based buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B C2B2B, efficient e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of short-term web services. Without well-planned markets, markets are forced to become end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think intra-six-sigma. The users factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, short-term. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and FOAF. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive raw bandwidth and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.