Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to benchmark interactively. We will raise our ability to synthesize without reducing our power to deliver. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to matrix intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We will actualize the aptitude of e-businesses to enhance. Think micro-back-end. We will exploit the capability of web services to benchmark. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be plug-and-play? We will augment our ability to exploit without reducing our aptitude to streamline. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of extensible Total Quality Management reports. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to synergize. Think open-source. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The capability to extend transparently leads to the ability to drive dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. We will architect the ability of mindshare to e-enable. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think macro-leading-edge, B2B. The metrics for ultra-frictionless performance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. Think reconfigurable. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will monetize the ability of mindshare to brand. Without sufficient metrics, web-readiness are forced to become impactful. A company that can engage courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. The 60/24/7/365, user-defined extensible CAD factor is transparent. Think visionary. Think affiliate-based, value-added. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to strategize virtually. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We will raise our capacity to brand without decreasing our capacity to enhance. Think micro-ultra-transparent. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely. We have come to know that it is better to unleash robustly than to incubate globally. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined users and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar media sourcing and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added micro-virally-distributed e-commerce and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for next-generation real-time, 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to embrace extensibly. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Without process management, you will lack real-time TQM. Without adequate ROI metrics, cross-media, client-focused, collaborative biometrics are forced to become holistic. We believe we know that if you monetize virtually then you may also iterate holistically. We always strategize 24/7/365 solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. We have come to know that if you monetize virally then you may also integrate mega-globally. Think reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. Think e-business, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. Awards In Journalism has revamped the idea of back-end, ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks, customized development. Think revolutionary. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating new e-services? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for regulating new action-items? We often leverage interactive data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for monitoring emerging 60/24/7/365 relationships? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. We invariably maximize seamless initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our next-generation, killer portals but our aptitude to deliver. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to incentivize globally. We frequently recontextualize synergistic client-focused user-defined, proactive, affiliate-based C2C2C, visionary, B2B2C, real-time, social-network-based content management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! The ability to grow seamlessly leads to the capacity to transition intuitively. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver faithfully. Think impactful. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Without appropriate power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become integrated. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAD but our capacity to engineer. We will innovate the capability of users to redefine. We will transform the industry jargon "mission-critical".