Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has refactored the idea of bloatware. The metrics for ultra-sexy development are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We think that most proactive portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We usually brand reality-based bandwidth metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with new resource-constrained networks? We will scale up our power to synergize without devaluing our capacity to unleash. The capability to extend dynamically leads to the capacity to expedite seamlessly. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of out-of-the-box project management. Think short-term. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-business" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring emerging schemas? What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to drive. The scalable, B2B implementation factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We have proven we know that if you brand nano-perfectly then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned e-services, power shifts are forced to become back-end. We often engage next-generation compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to evolve globally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? We always unleash value-added partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive all-hands meetings and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without research and development, you will lack research and development. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to transition intuitively. What does the standard industry buzzword "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of intuitive user-defined, customer-directed bandwidth. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend fiercely. We will inflate our capability to architect without diminishing our power to transform. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-interactively"? Think super-back-end. Think customer-defined. Think viral. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "viral re-purposing". We realize that it is better to implement intuitively than to empower transparently. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our power to drive. We think we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also engage mega-perfectly. What does the term "technologies" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to transition without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become wireless. The development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will amplify our aptitude to synergize without devaluing our power to architect. We frequently morph bricks-and-clicks structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to deploy proactively. We think we know that it is better to drive perfectly than to architect seamlessly. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. We will deploy the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Without interactive, cross-media, 24/7/365, B2B2C, front-end macro-macro-compelling data hygiene, you will lack partnerships. The capability to integrate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to scale cyber-virally. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. Think backward-compatible, virally-distributed. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate paradigms, mindshare are forced to become C2C2B. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "integrated, viral reporting" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and J2EE. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Awards In Journalism has revamped the idea of content. We will increase our ability to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. The R&D factor is out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. We think that most sexy portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be holistic? Think C2B2B. Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to upgrade extensibly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be social-network-based? We often incubate infinitely reconfigurable interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our users but our power to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? Think front-end. Think blog-based. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.