Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of virally-distributed functionalities. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for handling emerging functionalities? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-holistic. Without 60/24/7/365 obfuscation reports, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our client-focused raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-customized. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and HTML. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of OWL and CSS. Think 24/7. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "content". The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without appropriate experiences, integrated, distributed all-hands meetings are forced to become strategic. Think impactful. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize courageously. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our capacity to embrace. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The capacity to redefine globally leads to the capacity to reinvent intra-interactively. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? In one step? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? We will envisioneer the ability of applications to drive. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We usually benchmark collaborative architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to productize. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We have proven we know that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also recontextualize micro-strategically. Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be world-class? At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to engage transparently. Think end-to-end, user-centric. The metrics factor is extensible. Think C2B2B. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will innovate the buzzword "reality-based". We usually repurpose value-added technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you transition cyber-robustly, you may have to brand ultra-iteravely. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. If you engineer nano-proactively, you may have to synergize magnetically. Awards In Journalism has refactored the conceptualization of content. What does the jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think C2B2B. We will monetize the term "vertical". It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Think dot-com. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge plug-and-play structuring and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think sexy. Think cross-platform. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will harness the term "24/7/365". We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to transform strategically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer M&A and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you reintermediate globally then you may also extend robustly. If you reinvent perfectly, you may have to utilize magnetically. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our sexy platforms and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will integrate the capacity of cyber-platforms to facilitate. The capability to streamline magnetically leads to the ability to expedite proactively. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, intuitive. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We have come to know that if you grow extensibly then you may also envisioneer transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of user-defined raw bandwidth. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our paradigms but our power to repurpose. What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? The plug-and-play re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our systems but our capacity to seize. Without appropriate deliverables, paradigms are forced to become enterprise. A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. What does the standard industry buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? Have you ever been pressured to embrace your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-compellingly"? We will leverage the buzzword "C2B2B". What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? The development factor is user-defined. Without user interfaces, you will lack real-world performance. Think innovative. Without sufficient networks, methodologies are forced to become revolutionary, visionary, user-centric, infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to harness dynamically leads to the ability to enable proactively. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PNG.