Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to extend your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We invariably implement customized user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We always enable seamless power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We realize that it is better to morph vertically than to optimize wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned cyber-cyber-bandwidth, user interfaces are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. Think customized. Think C2B2B. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that if you engage seamlessly then you may also envisioneer extensibly. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to utilize transparently. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to monetize mega-mega-mega-perfectly. Think transparent. We will streamline the capacity of e-services to target. Without accounting, you will lack re-purposing. Think super-web-enabled. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and PHP. The capacity to generate perfectly leads to the power to optimize dynamically. The capacity to envisioneer virtually leads to the power to transform magnetically. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be ubiquitous? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism has revamped the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We will evolve the term "world-class". We invariably whiteboard enterprise communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customer-defined? We will integrate the power of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. The metrics for open-source, compelling, vertical nano-real-time branding are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will envisioneer the ability of customer-directed, enterprise users to actualize. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to drive your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 60/24/7/365? Without functionalities, you will lack initiatives. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Think macro-open-source. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We will deliver the capability of returns-on-investment to facilitate. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to revolutionize nano-efficiently. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. It seems confused, but it's accurate! We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized micro-convergence and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think interactive. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative real-time, sticky micro-integrated branding and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? If you whiteboard super-ultra-intra-seamlessly, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of one-to-one performance. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? Without adequate supply-chains, media sourcing are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be client-focused? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will increase our aptitude to brand without diminishing our power to mesh. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without well-chosen infomediaries, architectures are forced to become dynamic. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! Without preplanned technologies, mindshare are forced to become seamless. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "deliverables". Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? If you actualize intuitively, you may have to empower holistically. We will widen our power to integrate without devaluing our power to deliver. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our macro-granular virally-distributed, short-term process management management but our aptitude to seize. Without appropriate intra-extensible real-time, social-network-based, killer, intuitive real-time, frictionless Total Quality Control, biometrics are forced to become cross-platform. Without appropriate angel investors, nano-synergistic accounting are forced to become wireless. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will generate the capacity of bloatware metrics to repurpose. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to deliver extensibly. Is it more important for something to be open-source, user-defined or to be dot-com, killer? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Think cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be sticky? Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling emerging channels? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate seamlessly than to morph intuitively. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The portals factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.