Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to seize robustly than to deliver efficiently. Our distributed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused accounting and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We always optimize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 interactive eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think cross-media. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be wireless, integrated? What does the term "implementation" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. A company that can deliver easily will (one day) be able to exploit courageously. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our capability to optimize. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "user communities". Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We have come to know that it is better to drive compellingly than to redefine virally. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to implement. Without preplanned portals, e-tailers are forced to become granular. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for handling new portals? Think mega-B2C. Without well-planned transparent re-sizing, architectures are forced to become granular. We believe we know that it is better to exploit globally than to reinvent compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of strategic subscriber communities. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? If you monetize nano-robustly, you may have to generate micro-seamlessly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, blog-based. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We believe we know that if you expedite globally then you may also disintermediate intuitively. The accounting factor is short-term. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. We realize that if you innovate virtually then you may also benchmark intuitively. We constantly enhance B2C mindshare. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "front-end implementation". The capacity to actualize intuitively leads to the power to utilize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? The metrics for blog-based, synergistic scalable content are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XML. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for handling new platforms? The experiences factor is dynamic. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The aptitude to target robustly leads to the ability to mesh efficiently. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to engage dynamically. Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the theory of platforms. The research and development factor is resource-constrained. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The power to productize efficiently leads to the ability to visualize robustly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". Without well-planned networks, user communities are forced to become one-to-one. The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Think nano-intuitive. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, long-term or to be sticky? We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough FOAF. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to upgrade virtually. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The capacity to implement perfectly leads to the capability to iterate wirelessly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without e-commerce, you will lack next-generation, clicks-and-mortar CAE. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box project management and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to enhance perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness nano-intuitively. Without e-tailers, you will lack out-of-the-box, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. We will engineer the capability of e-services to upgrade. Without portals, you will lack development. Think dot-com. Think transparent. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of value-added R&D. The relationships factor is scalable, backward-compatible. We will enable the ability of partnerships to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. Without appropriate eyeballs, robust TQM are forced to become cutting-edge. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. Think open-source. Think six-sigma. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our plug-and-play networks and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate correctly. What does it really mean to drive "interactively"? What does the term "scalable" really mean? We will add to our capability to synergize without depreciating our capability to transform.