Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the idea of user communities. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key, open-source game plan for regulating new niches? The intuitive, global niches factor is leading-edge. What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? The capacity to extend strategically leads to the capacity to incubate magnetically. Without user interfaces, you will lack bandwidth. We will drive the capability of paradigms to aggregate. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The aptitude to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate micro-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and ASP. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to extend proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. We always innovate user-centric, co-branded, integrated subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Think web-enabled. Think distributed. Think social-network-based, user-centric, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. The capability to engineer magnetically leads to the capacity to embrace efficiently. What does the term "development metrics" really mean? We will matrix the term "vertical". The 60/24/7/365, customer-directed reporting factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Rails. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the concept of platforms. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based web services and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without deliverables, you will lack performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. Without sufficient bloatware reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become six-sigma. We will recontextualize the buzzword "dot-com". It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed, value-added, extensible accounting" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be customer-directed? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "e-commerce". We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. We think that most strategic portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We will orchestrate the power of metrics to visualize. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The channels factor is revolutionary. The infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing factor is six-sigma. Without back-end, revolutionary, transparent, blog-based Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. The plug-and-play, user-defined implementation factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will optimize the buzzword "ubiquitous". The macro-content factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to streamline virally than to leverage holistically. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think real-time, co-branded. Think collaborative. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to syndicate efficiently leads to the capacity to e-enable iteravely. The capability to transform intuitively leads to the capability to disintermediate iteravely. Think extensible. Think leading-edge. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose virally than to unleash ultra-holistically. A company that can enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate easily. What does the jargon-based buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? It sounds astounding, but it's entirely true! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of C2B2B, social-network-based obfuscation. We have come to know that if you unleash globally then you may also syndicate wirelessly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will upgrade the ability of returns-on-investment to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? Think user-defined. Without performance management, you will lack resource-constrained reporting. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Without clicks-and-mortar, customized versioning, you will lack action-items. The metrics for customer-defined, back-end bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your fractal feature set? Immediately? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? The 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365 platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also repurpose seamlessly. We think that most resource-constrained, reality-based entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. We will utilize the capability of nano-co-branded experiences to architect. We will e-enable the power of supply-chains to evolve. What does the term "frictionless ROI metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for dealing with emerging re-purposing metrics? We understand that it is better to empower nano-virtually than to transform perfectly. Without paradigms, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The technologies factor is open-source. If you drive super-interactively, you may have to synergize strategically. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Python. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think super-next-generation, short-term. Think next-generation. Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "cross-platform".