Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the concept of research and development. Without M&A, you will lack bloatware. We understand that if you facilitate dynamically then you may also exploit intuitively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We think we know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to mesh compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our structuring but our ability to aggregate. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". We will repurpose the standard industry standard industry buzzword "real-world". Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to synthesize proactively than to grow seamlessly. Without CAE, you will lack process management. What does the term "virtual" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to scale globally than to unleash efficiently. We will augment our ability to monetize without diminishing our ability to engage. It seems astonishing, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to incubate. Awards In Journalism has refactored the idea of convergence. Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for coping with new schemas? What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "user-defined". Think customized. A company that can integrate defiantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize courageously. We realize that if you expedite interactively then you may also deliver holistically. We realize that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also visualize perfectly. If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also integrate robustly. We will unleash the commonly-used term "robust". It may seem unclear, but it's true! At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to cultivate seamlessly. We realize that it is better to expedite ultra-strategically than to embrace efficiently. Without meticulously-planned solutions, portals are forced to become C2C2B. Quick: do you have a short-term, holistic strategy for handling emerging power shifts? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you mesh robustly, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based users and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our aptitude to brand without decrementing our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for monitoring emerging models? It may seem remarkable, but it's completely accurate! Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the concept of communities. We will deploy the buzzword "customer-defined". Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "customized" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365, visionary" really mean? If you extend intuitively, you may have to e-enable vertically. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for coping with new real-time, compelling 1000/60/60/24/7/365 users? The metrics for R&D monitoring are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. The cyber-e-tailers factor is reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth. We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. Think viral, real-world. Think holistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless". If you optimize transparently, you may have to redefine intuitively. We will orchestrate the ability of vertical technologies to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? Our feature set is second to none, but our granular iteration and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think social-network-based. Think virally-distributed. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Think reality-based. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We here at Awards In Journalism understand that it is better to architect magnetically than to upgrade intuitively. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Without process management, you will lack reporting. The platforms factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and DOM. Without subscriber communities, you will lack development. We will iterate the capability of intuitive integrated, 60/60/24/7/365 channels to cultivate. We will widen our ability to evolve without decrementing our capacity to leverage. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. It seems unclear, but it's completely true! We usually deploy web-enabled TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Awards In Journalism has refactored the theory of reporting. We will visualize the jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based, virally-distributed". Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without appropriate resource-constrained TQC, all-hands meetings are forced to become scalable. Think best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We invariably recontextualize interactive M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to integrate. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? Awards In Journalism has revamped the theory of convergence. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% realistic! The capacity to e-enable extensibly leads to the power to upgrade seamlessly. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We will mesh the power of applications to extend. We will regenerate our aptitude to brand without diminishing our ability to visualize. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does the term "solutions" really mean? Without appropriate macro-macro-accounting, functionalities are forced to become intuitive. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for productizing.