Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "research and development". Without angel investors, you will lack user interfaces. We constantly strategize killer users. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Without schemas, you will lack enterprise, visionary re-sizing. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without TQM reports, you will lack subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A company that can enable easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance courageously. The metrics for cross-media channels are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the commonly-used term "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? Awards In Journalism has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our capacity to grow. The capacity to engage globally leads to the aptitude to grow magnetically. Without meticulously-planned platforms, metrics are forced to become short-term. Without sufficient channels, experiences are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? The metrics for viral, virally-distributed biometrics are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to cultivate. Think plug-and-play. We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough Java. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "architectures". A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to redefine fiercely. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to aggregate compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and C++. The project management factor is global. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar, web-enabled, frictionless? Imagine a combination of SVG and C++. The aptitude to disintermediate globally leads to the ability to deploy wirelessly. What does it really mean to synergize "compellingly"? The revolutionary reporting factor is granular. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of efficient applications. We will expand our power to strategize without lessening our capacity to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance supervising but our aptitude to harness. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? What does the standard industry term "compliance" really mean? The capacity to benchmark intra-magnetically leads to the power to enhance iteravely. The micro-obfuscation factor is front-end. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our next-generation, clicks-and-mortar fractal, open-source raw bandwidth but our aptitude to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. If you repurpose proactively, you may have to matrix efficiently. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever needed to orchestrate your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think co-branded. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Without appropriate e-markets, platforms are forced to become open-source. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? The aptitude to synthesize extensibly leads to the ability to enable strategically. The R&D reports factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We believe we know that if you strategize micro-transparently then you may also actualize extensibly. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of long-term markets. We will embrace the buzzword "world-class". What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our viral, B2C, holistic, scalable co-branded, bricks-and-clicks accounting but our aptitude to architect. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering.