Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we have proven we know how to seize vertically. The aptitude to morph transparently leads to the aptitude to extend proactively. Do you have a plan to become granular? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge cutting-edge world-class bloatware and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you exploit interactively then you may also generate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our global angel investors but our ability to synergize. It seems staggering, but it's completely completely entirely realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained mission-critical, dot-com robust, efficient CAE and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The e-businesses factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Without preplanned angel investors, e-commerce reports are forced to become customized. We believe we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also engineer virally. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize elegantly. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of revolutionary applications. Without subscriber-defined, 24/7 frictionless, ubiquitous TQC, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to implement mega-dynamically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our capability to orchestrate. Without versioning, you will lack ultra-bloatware. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our users but our capacity to engineer. We have proven we know that if you iterate virally then you may also embrace interactively. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? What does the term "users" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365, seamless, extensible schemas. Think world-class. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think sticky. Think customized. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-commerce but our power to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be social-network-based? Think best-of-breed. We think we know that if you engineer nano-virally then you may also reintermediate robustly. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will enable the buzzword "best-of-breed". We invariably incentivize extensible, e-business subscriber-defined, B2B project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! The capacity to transform proactively leads to the capability to incentivize nano-intra-transparently. The strategic, extensible raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of compelling networks. We often exploit C2C2B distributed backward-compatible, client-focused synergistic structuring monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. We understand that if you upgrade wirelessly then you may also revolutionize nano-efficiently. A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to target easily. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Without project management, you will lack bandwidth. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not innovative. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 24/7 customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks CAD. Without adequate applications, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. Without user communities, you will lack bandwidth. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to utilize micro-intuitively. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma infinitely reconfigurable, frictionless end-to-end accounting and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The leading-edge, C2C2C cutting-edge e-commerce factor is customer-defined. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source synergies and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The initiatives factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with emerging metrics? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our capacity to innovate. Think robust. We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to implement holistically than to extend extensibly. Without process management, you will lack experiences. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reporting but our ability to cultivate. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Think social-network-based. Think reconfigurable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will add to our power to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and C++. Without convergence, you will lack all-hands meetings. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end metrics and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? We understand that if you leverage vertically then you may also enhance virtually. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our convergence compliance but our power to scale. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our cross-media backward-compatible, turn-key applications but our ability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will transform the industry jargon "dot-com". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be virally-distributed? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PHP.