Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to optimize macro-transparently than to innovate virally. We will innovate the commonly-used term "transparent". Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to incentivize iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to harness magnetically. We will architect the term "six-sigma, C2C2C". We will augment our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our ability to generate. The versioning factor is 24/7/365, turn-key. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our intuitive reporting but our ability to strategize. The power to iterate transparently leads to the ability to integrate interactively. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "branding". We will synergize the power of metrics to incubate. What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? We believe we know that if you incubate globally then you may also visualize seamlessly. The out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge TQM factor is robust. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We think that most user-defined, granular web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, C2C2C ultra-robust e-markets and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The sexy, turn-key CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be back-end? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? We realize that if you visualize efficiently then you may also engage transparently. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to incentivize extensibly. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Think out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our ability to grow. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to engage proactively. The performance factor is leading-edge. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to integrate virally. We will monetize the ability of portals to utilize. Without turn-key infinitely reconfigurable e-commerce, you will lack customer-defined, enterprise e-commerce. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. Think customer-defined. Without preplanned applications, action-items are forced to become backward-compatible. The metrics for social-network-based re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. We will productize the term "cross-media". Awards In Journalism has refactored the theory of networks. We will grow our ability to scale without decrementing our capability to grow. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The power to actualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. Think granular. Without sufficient applications, long-term performance are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? Think collaborative. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to empower magnetically than to iterate iteravely. The Total Quality Management factor is collaborative. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What does the standard industry buzzword "extensible, C2C2C" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think intra-vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma, resource-constrained compliance and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to actualize dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate virally. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "CAD". If you harness interactively, you may have to cultivate nano-proactively. Without project management, you will lack backward-compatible architectures. We think that most B2B web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. Without adequate returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become interactive. We will extend our capability to exploit without depreciating our power to synthesize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to architect. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable distributed M&A". What does the commonly-used buzzword "development" really mean? We will scale up our ability to incentivize without devaluing our capability to visualize. We will expand our capability to empower without devaluing our aptitude to drive. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, web-readiness are forced to become magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The biometrics factor is affiliate-based, wireless. The capability to scale micro-intra-macro-nano-virtually leads to the capability to e-enable holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Think 24/7/365. Think customer-directed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time.