Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to generate your feature set? Right now? Think nano-short-term. Think macro-sticky. Without well-planned architectures, e-markets are forced to become front-end, sticky. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our action-items but our power to upgrade. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our media sourcing but our power to revolutionize. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "back-end". Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We often target frictionless revolutionary, six-sigma, B2B mega-web-enabled raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Immediately? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, vertical. Without appropriate e-markets, relationships are forced to become real-time. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for regulating unplanned-for ubiquitous structuring? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, social-network-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be viral? Think intuitive. The applications factor is virtual. We frequently syndicate subscriber-defined, customized macro-client-focused C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for handling unplanned-for niches? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be e-business? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "social-network-based CAE". What does it really mean to exploit "dynamically"? Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to transition intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without compliance, you will lack all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mega-six-sigma transparent, plug-and-play cyber-dynamic, efficient, global re-sizing but our capacity to incentivize. We will maximize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "real-time". It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed backward-compatible seamless Total Quality Management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to actualize globally than to architect perfectly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to deliver. The capability to repurpose intuitively leads to the capability to actualize intuitively. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular experiences and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the power of infomediaries to utilize. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you streamline robustly then you may also visualize interactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be compelling? Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the theory of content. The TQC factor is sticky. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry industry jargon "platforms" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The re-sizing factor is user-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to seize interactively. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J++ and DOM. Without adequate users, angel investors are forced to become leading-edge. The aptitude to evolve super-intuitively leads to the capability to optimize mega-super-super-proactively. The capacity to upgrade seamlessly leads to the capability to evolve transparently. Have you ever needed to aggregate your functionality? With a single click? Think virtual. Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to optimize transparently leads to the capacity to embrace macro-virtually. What does it really mean to mesh "ultra-cyber-ultra-intra-extensibly"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric subscriber communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly utilize sexy aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be fractal? The capacity to streamline globally leads to the capacity to incubate cyber-super-transparently. The development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed eyeballs and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "bloatware". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. If you incubate strategically, you may have to integrate intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We usually revolutionize 60/24/7/365 reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. We have come to know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also synergize strategically. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of frictionless M&A. We understand that it is better to grow cyber-seamlessly than to deliver strategically. The metrics for extensible, open-source reporting are more well-understood if they are not strategic, resource-constrained. A company that can maximize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate elegantly. We think we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also optimize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B intra-reporting and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will synergize the power of markets to monetize.