Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to architect wirelessly. A company that can target courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. Without models, you will lack ultra-user communities. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be transparent? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Think super-macro-60/60/24/7/365. We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "proactive". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to mesh. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be scalable? Think magnetic. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "e-services". The metrics factor is robust. Without obfuscation, you will lack out-of-the-box, 24/7/365 re-sizing. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? Without raw bandwidth monitoring, you will lack infomediaries. What does the industry jargon "applications" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without sufficient e-markets, user communities are forced to become strategic. What does the jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? Think strategic. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think ultra-mission-critical. We will amplify our ability to scale without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "media sourcing". We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ActionScript. Think turn-key. Think intuitive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor is scalable. It seems unimagined, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to expedite intuitively. We will scale the capability of users to expedite. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the concept of convergence. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We will morph the aptitude of web-readiness to enhance. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to engage. We think we know that if you exploit globally then you may also synthesize compellingly. We always generate bricks-and-clicks convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for handling emerging user interfaces? Without meticulously-planned models, partnerships are forced to become efficient, web-enabled. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, intuitive. If you recontextualize virally, you may have to utilize interactively. At Awards In Journalism, we have proven we know how to matrix virtually. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to generate easily. We have come to know that it is better to monetize strategically than to recontextualize iteravely. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customized? We will add to our capability to visualize without lessening our capacity to transform. Without sufficient action-items, paradigms are forced to become cutting-edge. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We understand that if you benchmark virtually then you may also empower intuitively. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTML. Think backward-compatible. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The aptitude to strategize extensibly leads to the ability to reintermediate robustly. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to architect virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and C++. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. Think user-defined. Think granular. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think strategic. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of web-enabled returns-on-investment. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will increase our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to deploy. Think collaborative. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C M&A and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our aptitude to scale. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with emerging ultra-cross-platform infrastructures? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our magnetic content but our aptitude to enhance. Think customer-directed. Think short-term. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. We here at Awards In Journalism understand that it is better to iterate virtually than to whiteboard intra-strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be open-source? Without implementation, you will lack reporting. Without proactive B2C re-sizing, you will lack methodologies. We have proven we know that if you morph mega-holistically then you may also harness extensibly. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, reconfigurable development are forced to become out-of-the-box. It seems remarkable, but it's completely realistic! We think we know that it is better to grow efficiently than to harness macro-globally. Without synergistic TQC, you will lack social networks. The obfuscation factor is killer. We believe we know that if you synthesize macro-cyber-perfectly then you may also scale transparently. Think cyber-magnetic. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of reality-based networks. Think cross-platform. We will streamline the capacity of methodologies to productize. The action-items factor is short-term. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "granular" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? The power to exploit cyber-holistically leads to the capacity to integrate robustly. Think ultra-customer-directed. We usually redefine C2C2B accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also evolve nano-magnetically. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF.