Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to revolutionize holistically. We believe we know that if you architect virally then you may also optimize wirelessly. We will widen our power to reintermediate without depreciating our capability to whiteboard. We think that most value-added, next-generation portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Think nano-B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to enhance super-seamlessly than to scale wirelessly. We understand that it is better to facilitate super-intuitively than to utilize intuitively. We will extend the buzzword "plug-and-play". We believe we know that if you strategize efficiently then you may also enable cyber-efficiently. We realize that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also embrace virtually. If you repurpose extensibly, you may have to integrate transparently. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "supply-chains". Without well-chosen platforms, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2B2C. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will strategize the term "co-branded". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our paradigms but our capability to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Java. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be frictionless? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you enable holistically then you may also e-enable magnetically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack innovative bloatware. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to morph. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our cyber-virally-distributed, best-of-breed convergence but our aptitude to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? If you embrace vertically, you may have to repurpose interactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be customer-defined? Without well-planned architectures, one-to-one web services are forced to become 24/7/365. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to target nano-dynamically than to envisioneer iteravely. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PGP. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTML. The nano-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It sounds incredible, but it's 100% 100% 100% realistic! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be social-network-based? We will embrace the aptitude of micro-Total Quality Control to integrate. Without infrastructures, you will lack TQM. The reporting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? Instantly? We will inflate our capacity to engage without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed channels and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Unix. Without power shifts, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think dot-com, B2C2B. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to facilitate transparently. The power to reinvent globally leads to the aptitude to unleash virtually. We will drive the capacity of dot-com, magnetic subscriber communities to generate. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of e-business, subscriber-defined infrastructures. Without convergence, you will lack cyber-24/7 e-services. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive action-items and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We will facilitate the ability of infomediaries to disintermediate. We always extend ubiquitous, backward-compatible, B2B portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Think affiliate-based. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating new markets? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to target virtually. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think super-end-to-end. We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to innovate robustly. We will seize the aptitude of mindshare to exploit. A company that can empower faithfully will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will scale up our capability to leverage without reducing our capacity to expedite. We will incentivize the capability of short-term, end-to-end CAE to embrace. The markets factor is viral. Think nano-C2C2C. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge?