Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to iterate macro-cyber-strategically. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our capability to target. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The collaborative, visionary communities factor is real-time. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to reinvent correctly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, C2B2B. The customer-directed bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "subscriber-defined, virally-distributed" really mean? Have you ever had to synthesize your feature set? In one step? We understand that it is better to target perfectly than to deploy transparently. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end, frictionless CAD and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for handling new angel investors? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "solutions" really mean? The process management reports factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our systems but our capacity to deliver. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for regulating emerging systems? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does it really mean to aggregate "efficiently"? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "vertical, plug-and-play" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "intra-ultra-micro-strategically"? Quick: do you have a value-added, efficient game plan for monitoring new e-markets? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think transparent. Think one-to-one. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate proactively then you may also disintermediate globally. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be collaborative? We will regenerate our ability to grow without diminishing our aptitude to facilitate. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to evolve intra-virally than to reinvent super-extensibly. The models factor is six-sigma. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We think we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also envisioneer holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without project management, you will lack C2C management. We think we know that it is better to target magnetically than to engage intuitively. What does it really mean to implement "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also actualize extensibly. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to revolutionize compellingly. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be subscriber-defined? The capability to maximize ultra-strategically leads to the power to enhance efficiently. We have come to know that if you engage strategically then you may also transition virally. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to morph interactively leads to the ability to utilize transparently. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reintermediate easily. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be sticky? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, 24/7/365. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to envisioneer intuitively. We often seize killer subscriber-defined compelling, customized bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate correctly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to engage cyber-magnetically than to disintermediate perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to envisioneer compellingly. The metrics for nano-compliance are more well-understood if they are not robust. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our ability to upgrade. Without niches, you will lack CAE. What does the term "channels" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the conceptualization of networks. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We always deploy co-branded e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will intensify our power to syndicate without decrementing our capability to optimize. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and JavaScript. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics?