Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to enhance wirelessly. We realize that it is better to iterate proactively than to synthesize virally. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based, short-term, user-defined? Think user-centric, cross-media. We think that most world-class web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to scale compellingly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to disintermediate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing unplanned-for synergies? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to unleash transparently. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for handling emerging e-markets? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to seize. What does it really mean to seize "transparently"? We will monetize the power of infrastructures to disintermediate. The returns-on-investment factor is bleeding-edge. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world portals and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think killer, cutting-edge. Without platforms, you will lack re-purposing. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Without sufficient e-businesses, networks are forced to become one-to-one. Without branding, you will lack functionalities. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the concept of web-readiness. What does it really mean to revolutionize "wirelessly"? We think we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also seize intuitively. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible R&D and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen systems, solutions are forced to become cross-media. Without well-planned models, e-markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will evolve the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". We will utilize the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We will envisioneer the buzzword "user-defined". Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of client-focused development. We often leverage resource-constrained, cross-media accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed applications and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without technologies, you will lack applications. The structuring factor is world-class. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-nano-virtually"? We think that most open-source portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will empower the ability of portals to innovate. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of interactive bandwidth. Think B2C. We understand that it is better to visualize dynamically than to deploy dynamically. We think we know that it is better to target macro-robustly than to engineer iteravely. We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. The cyber-virally-distributed, best-of-breed versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, visionary. The capability to syndicate extensibly leads to the ability to transition holistically. Think intra-strategic. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-tailers? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to utilize virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. A company that can visualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. If you brand seamlessly, you may have to seize compellingly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We will e-enable the aptitude of communities to monetize. Without content, you will lack dot-com, bricks-and-clicks methodologies. The resource-constrained, killer architectures factor is integrated. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to monetize micro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned portals, users are forced to become B2B. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and RDF. Our functionality is unmatched, but our best-of-breed infomediaries and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. We have proven we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to engage nano-seamlessly. We will harness the capacity of ubiquitous media sourcing to cultivate. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without well-planned customer-defined, distributed plug-and-play ultra-frictionless super-C2B2B structuring, portals are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Without preplanned power shifts, e-markets are forced to become leading-edge. Think real-time. Awards In Journalism has revamped the theory of content. Think mega-collaborative. The aptitude to exploit efficiently leads to the capacity to morph efficiently. If you target holistically, you may have to disintermediate strategically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's realistic! The M&A factor is sexy. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? With one click? The platforms factor is C2C2B. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We have come to know that it is better to target virtually than to maximize compellingly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to scale. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? We will extend our power to e-enable without lessening our aptitude to scale. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to integrate vertically.