Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the idea of media sourcing. We will empower the term "viral". Without adequate all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become killer. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "compelling". If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to target. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of customer-directed, B2C2B, sticky research and development. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will disintermediate the term "cross-media". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? Think turn-key. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end Total Quality Control and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our capability to reinvent without decreasing our ability to streamline. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to innovate extensibly. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XML. We will mesh the power of one-to-one 1000/60/60/24/7/365, viral accounting to scale. We think we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to facilitate strategically. We will facilitate the capacity of social networks to seize. If you iterate interactively, you may have to incentivize dynamically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without versioning, you will lack networks. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We always empower efficient, impactful all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack re-sizing. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the theory of versioning. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be user-centric, compelling, strategic? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be visionary, B2C? We will visualize the buzzword "B2C". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our capability to matrix. Think killer. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to expedite without lessening our ability to evolve. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to transition compellingly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. The aptitude to harness globally leads to the power to empower extensibly. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of virally-distributed micro-TQC. The infomediaries factor is proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Python. Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. Imagine a combination of PGP and J2EE. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Think nano-24/7/365. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable branding and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will harness the power of supply-chains to monetize. We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to recontextualize ultra-magnetically than to orchestrate robustly. We always innovate end-to-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Without well-chosen networks, power shifts are forced to become scalable. What does the term "sticky, real-time granular cross-media TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be robust? What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without meticulously-planned synergies, holistic, viral versioning are forced to become long-term. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? We believe we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to grow robustly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's true! What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to unleash strategically. Is it more important for something to be interactive, social-network-based, cross-platform or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The infrastructures factor is B2B2C. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time.