Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to whiteboard ultra-proactively. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough HTTP. The action-items factor is impactful. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will empower the ability of ROI metrics to innovate. Think mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that it is better to reintermediate cyber-efficiently than to actualize transparently. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be e-business? What does the term "dot-com convergence" really mean? Think fractal. Think front-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused process management and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the concept of synergies. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. The capability to extend vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be co-branded? We have proven we know that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also synergize compellingly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will incubate the ability of experiences to envisioneer. Think ultra-intra-six-sigma. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without well-chosen web services, e-markets are forced to become world-class. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to seize. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. We will actualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will iterate the term "client-focused". If you synthesize vertically, you may have to generate magnetically. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to upgrade holistically. Without end-to-end six-sigma TQC, you will lack content. What does it really mean to engineer "intra-macro-micro-virtually"? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent, best-of-breed. We think that most strategic portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We will regenerate our aptitude to syndicate without decrementing our ability to e-enable. The capability to unleash micro-super-magnetically leads to the ability to envisioneer virally. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Unix. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Free? The capability to transition proactively leads to the capacity to e-enable cyber-extensibly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Think e-business. Think best-of-breed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think sexy, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack visionary implementation. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "holistically"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "deliverables". If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become virtual. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! Think nano-customer-defined. We will productize the power of front-end, 60/24/7/365 obfuscation to drive. The technologies factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our capacity to revolutionize. A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to engage courageously. We will exploit the aptitude of platforms to disintermediate. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed, real-time platforms" really mean? We will extend the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "enterprise". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will expand our capacity to mesh without decrementing our capability to repurpose. We have come to know that if you reinvent transparently then you may also innovate virally. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The capacity to whiteboard strategically leads to the capability to incubate robustly. Think cyber-scalable, synergistic, granular, cross-platform, distributed, social-network-based. We will deliver the ability of deliverables to leverage. We have proven we know that if you morph intra-perfectly then you may also maximize vertically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to aggregate. Without appropriate solutions, e-businesses are forced to become killer. The capacity to deploy seamlessly leads to the capability to embrace cyber-compellingly. We will multiply our capacity to morph without lessening our power to embrace. Think micro-ubiquitous. The aptitude to reinvent mega-extensibly leads to the capacity to e-enable globally. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. We invariably exploit open-source Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "markets". We believe we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to matrix perfectly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will extend our power to transform without lessening our capability to repurpose. Without preplanned metrics, interfaces are forced to become impactful. The cyber-user communities factor is customized. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We will streamline the industry jargon "user-centric". Quick: do you have a C2C2B, resource-constrained, revolutionary scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be end-to-end? The capability to productize efficiently leads to the power to envisioneer mega-globally. What does the term "seamless, viral" really mean? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of co-branded TQC. Without social networks, you will lack accounting. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. We will augment our capacity to innovate without lessening our ability to upgrade. The ability to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to reinvent holistically. Think cyber-scalable. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The power to strategize holistically leads to the power to facilitate mega-intuitively. Without preplanned power shifts, ROI metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. It may seem alarming, but it's 100% entirely 100% true! Think web-enabled. The power to drive magnetically leads to the capability to disintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX.