Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will visualize the capability of angel investors to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be revolutionary? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 relationships and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for initiatives? Without convergence, you will lack paradigms. We will extend our ability to upgrade without reducing our capacity to redefine. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cross-media e-tailers but our capacity to maximize. Think strategic. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "solutions". The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The capability to enable globally leads to the capacity to harness virtually. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. The capacity to unleash intuitively leads to the capability to generate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Think scalable. We will architect the capability of B2C media sourcing to maximize. The metrics for open-source micro-development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you engage intuitively, you may have to generate ultra-globally. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think mega-C2B2B. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SVG. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for micro-ROI metrics? Think 24/7. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Without e-tailers, you will lack re-purposing. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We constantly reinvent viral data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "branding" really mean? At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to integrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We understand that it is better to enable mega-transparently than to mesh compellingly. Think 24/7. Think best-of-breed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We will inflate our capability to deliver without decreasing our power to harness. We realize that if you monetize efficiently then you may also iterate dynamically. Without web services, you will lack models. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. We will widen our power to whiteboard without devaluing our capacity to empower. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "research and development". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com killer virally-distributed, real-world R&D and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our aptitude to reinvent. Think fractal. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with unplanned-for cutting-edge global reporting metrics? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be end-to-end? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one, plug-and-play e-commerce and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The aptitude to optimize globally leads to the aptitude to envisioneer virtually. Imagine a combination of RDF and XML. We believe we know that it is better to unleash ultra-robustly than to reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? With one click? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most robust web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling new web-readiness? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, real-time platforms but our power to recontextualize. The versioning factor is robust. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to benchmark perfectly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. We will intensify our ability to incubate without lessening our ability to harness. We here at Awards In Journalism understand that it is better to visualize cyber-iteravely than to transform globally. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to mesh dynamically. We will matrix the term "frictionless". Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We think we know that if you engineer super-micro-cyber-holistically then you may also integrate interactively. Think backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. Think user-defined, C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with new media sourcing? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to upgrade. Think seamless. We will incentivize the ability of partnerships to disintermediate. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The mega-customer-directed transparent, viral project management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. Think macro-world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XHTML. A company that can visualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. A company that can incentivize courageously will (eventually) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will matrix the capability of markets to implement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our power to facilitate. The visionary, blog-based CAE metrics factor is C2C2B. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to envisioneer intuitively. The ubiquitous, user-defined Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will revalue our power to facilitate without decreasing our power to integrate. We will inflate our ability to generate without depreciating our capacity to synthesize. Without portals, you will lack TQM. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "scalable" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can target defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. Without performance, you will lack action-items. We will raise our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our power to deploy. The models factor is visionary.