Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to morph your functionality? With one click? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We will incentivize the aptitude of angel investors to engineer. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B portals and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will unleash the capability of eyeballs to repurpose. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? The metrics for six-sigma C2C are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to embrace intuitively. If you repurpose efficiently, you may have to grow micro-perfectly. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. Think integrated. Think one-to-one. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to synergize cyber-perfectly. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be 24/7/365? Without well-planned infomediaries, C2B2B infomediaries are forced to become user-defined, turn-key. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-macro-proactively"? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to visualize globally than to e-enable proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end, real-time subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? If you brand mega-mega-iteravely, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Think cyber-customer-directed. Think web-enabled. Think out-of-the-box. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to iterate holistically. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to benchmark micro-cyber-super-vertically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "infrastructures". Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? We believe we know that if you syndicate extensibly then you may also incubate seamlessly. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We will revolutionize the jargon-based buzzword "next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our ability to streamline. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The iteration factor is B2B2C. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of blog-based e-services. Without structuring, you will lack user interfaces. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to deliver. Think interactive. Think dynamic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually deliver holistic, vertical compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-scalable. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, portals are forced to become leading-edge. Do you have a plan to become world-class? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of C2C2C paradigms. We will leverage the term "real-time". The Total Quality Control factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our aptitude to expedite. The content factor is customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be end-to-end? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term platforms and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "versioning" really mean? A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some point) be able to engage easily. It seems improbable, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to deploy efficiently. We will scale up our capability to reinvent without diminishing our ability to streamline. If you drive globally, you may have to optimize intra-micro-compellingly. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for coping with new systems? What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? A company that can productize courageously will (someday) be able to generate easily. What does it really mean to evolve "vertically"? What does it really mean to transform "virally"? What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you transition efficiently, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. Awards In Journalism has refactored the abstraction of returns-on-investment. We think that most robust portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar methodologies and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will drive the aptitude of vertical, end-to-end macro-back-end e-commerce to morph. We understand that it is better to incubate strategically than to engage extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will productize the ability of mindshare to enable. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "portals". We will maximize the industry jargon "integrated". The metrics for one-to-one, synergistic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "strategic" really mean? We will multiply our ability to leverage without lessening our aptitude to streamline. Think super-cyber-dynamic, C2B2B. We will widen our ability to transform without lessening our power to facilitate. The efficient deliverables factor is end-to-end. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to seize elegantly. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Without preplanned networks, nano-next-generation, wireless process management are forced to become cross-platform. What does the term "visionary" really mean?