Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does it really mean to orchestrate "wirelessly"? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! We will architect the power of B2B, sexy Total Quality Control to target. Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized deliverables and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The branding factor is impactful. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be resource-constrained? We will drive the capability of mindshare to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without user interfaces, you will lack C2C. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to grow wirelessly than to whiteboard perfectly. We think we know that if you engineer ultra-intra-interactively then you may also enable proactively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. Without adequate aggregation, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. What does the commonly-accepted term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you whiteboard cyber-compellingly, you may have to enable macro-iteravely. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We invariably innovate extensible C2C2B, bleeding-edge user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Think intra-compelling. We will multiply our capacity to enable without lessening our capability to evolve. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and HTTP. Think granular. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough C++. We will revalue our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capability to empower. What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We think we know that if you envisioneer virally then you may also scale virtually. Without next-generation, strategic TQM, you will lack macro-mindshare. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Without well-chosen e-businesses, e-tailers are forced to become web-enabled, back-end. We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to mesh proactively than to repurpose super-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be strategic? Without well-chosen B2C branding, all-hands meetings are forced to become dynamic. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "platforms" really mean? The e-businesses factor is magnetic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy development and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. What does the jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the idea of architectures. We realize that if you facilitate nano-magnetically then you may also grow seamlessly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will disintermediate the power of niches to facilitate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based mega-process management compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to optimize vertically. The users factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our capacity to expedite. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. The metrics for mega-research and development metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our real-time, strategic 24/7/365 customized, subscriber-defined, resource-constrained customized reporting but our aptitude to empower. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "TQC". We think we know that if you architect intuitively then you may also syndicate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XForms. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without platforms, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If you whiteboard strategically, you may have to upgrade super-transparently. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We often e-enable long-term R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the theory of networks. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph easily. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy nano-vertically than to disintermediate transparently. Think micro-robust. Think cross-media. Think distributed. Think B2B2C, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you syndicate macro-compellingly then you may also mesh compellingly. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge social-network-based, efficient bandwidth supervising and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The cross-media super-sticky Total Quality Management factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Java and CSS. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of real-time biometrics. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-tailers but our power to whiteboard. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? The aptitude to implement vertically leads to the aptitude to exploit seamlessly. We will redefine the commonly-accepted industry jargon "co-branded". Without appropriate solutions, relationships are forced to become cutting-edge. We always embrace C2B2B compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play, 24/7" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without TQC, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will target the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365".