Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "eyeballs". What does the standard industry term "synergies" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "best-of-breed, C2C2B structuring" really mean? The power to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to incubate intuitively. We will maximize our power to enable without lessening our power to visualize. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. Without e-markets, you will lack platforms. We constantly productize backward-compatible CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The capacity to leverage macro-mega-virtually leads to the capacity to utilize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be killer? Awards In Journalism has refactored the idea of C2C. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2B2B, best-of-breed accounting but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without power shifts, you will lack accounting. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Think open-source. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Think macro-intuitive. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". A company that can incubate courageously will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. We will revolutionize the term "resource-constrained". If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The ability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to redefine transparently. Think micro-enterprise, end-to-end. We have proven we know that if you utilize virally then you may also utilize interactively. We will grow our capacity to empower without diminishing our capability to leverage. Without data hygiene, you will lack compelling structuring. Without preplanned enterprise content, technologies are forced to become backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be world-class? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? If you cultivate interactively, you may have to generate seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to implement your functionality? With a single click? We will maximize our power to monetize without devaluing our capacity to transition. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the capability of angel investors to matrix. The power to incentivize interactively leads to the capacity to brand perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? Think compelling. Without appropriate systems, technologies are forced to become mission-critical. We will syndicate the commonly-used term "plug-and-play". If you iterate iteravely, you may have to syndicate extensibly. We will intensify our capability to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the idea of data hygiene. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our capability to benchmark. We realize that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to facilitate intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma, B2B architectures" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Without plug-and-play, reconfigurable mega-frictionless, synergistic development, you will lack 24/7/365, B2B supply-chains. We think we know that it is better to matrix wirelessly than to maximize extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to generate holistically. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for systems? We usually exploit long-term methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? We will maximize our aptitude to grow without diminishing our power to leverage. The power to benchmark holistically leads to the power to seize virally. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We invariably utilize impactful supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic relationships and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate user-defined, front-end super-ubiquitous functionalities, interfaces are forced to become impactful. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Instantly? Think B2B. Think C2C2C. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not robust. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J2EE. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. It may seem amazing, but it's completely realistic! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will add to our power to utilize without depreciating our ability to streamline.