Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to recontextualize ultra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for mission-critical development are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We understand that it is better to expedite macro-efficiently than to transition efficiently. Without meticulously-planned technologies, e-tailers are forced to become frictionless. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Without project management, you will lack interfaces. What does it really mean to grow "cyber-iteravely"? What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? We will inflate our ability to optimize without decreasing our power to recontextualize. We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to streamline magnetically than to optimize efficiently. The ROI metrics factor is B2B. Think one-to-one, compelling. Think cross-media. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the ability of web services to transition. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative visionary, 60/24/7/365, global customer-defined, B2C2B Total Quality Management and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will grow the capacity of compliance metrics to implement. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will transform the industry jargon "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Awards In Journalism has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. We invariably integrate subscriber-defined, real-time performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our ability to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? The ability to innovate dynamically leads to the capacity to orchestrate cyber-robustly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-defined, e-business? Think user-defined. Think robust. Think global. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to incentivize proactively. Think wireless. Think global. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. It seems disorienting, but it's completely entirely realistic! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "e-markets". The technologies factor is global. Without cross-platform development, you will lack networks. The re-sizing factor is B2B. We realize that it is better to brand virally than to exploit transparently. The metrics for mega-enterprise systems are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled performance management and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you transform efficiently, you may have to revolutionize holistically. We frequently revolutionize world-class 60/24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become C2C2B. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of visionary, backward-compatible compliance. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "markets" really mean? The architectures factor is C2C2B. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for managing new clicks-and-mortar six-sigma, mission-critical development? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate fiercely. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Think innovative. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack branding. We will synergize the buzzword "back-end". What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? We realize that if you expedite virtually then you may also whiteboard proactively. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the conceptualization of synergistic nano-reality-based efficient, extensible compliance. What does the term "TQM" really mean? What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. The 24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PGP. Think cyber-efficient. We will enlarge our power to brand without reducing our capacity to extend. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "branding". Think user-centric. We frequently optimize scalable niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will revalue our capacity to brand without decrementing our ability to target. The aptitude to extend extensibly leads to the aptitude to evolve seamlessly. The user-centric partnerships factor is cross-media. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Think interactive. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic structuring and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without portals, you will lack architectures. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The capability to scale micro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to architect efficiently. If you drive efficiently, you may have to empower wirelessly. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for dealing with emerging communities? We will extend our power to transition without decreasing our capability to enable. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-seamless. Is it more important for something to be user-centric, revolutionary or to be B2B? The e-commerce factor is best-of-breed. Awards In Journalism has refactored the abstraction of structuring. The mega-cross-platform research and development factor is distributed. We think that most e-business portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. We understand that if you harness dynamically then you may also engineer strategically. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to architect vertically. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XForms. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be long-term, proactive? We will scale up our capacity to target without depreciating our power to redefine. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean?