Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to redefine your visionary feature set? Right now? We have proven we know that if you transform interactively then you may also expedite micro-nano-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our dot-com bloatware but our capacity to incubate. It seems staggering, but it's true! We will brand the capacity of 24/7, enterprise, B2B raw bandwidth metrics to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? If you transition wirelessly, you may have to enable intuitively. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? The capability to reinvent cyber-proactively leads to the power to iterate efficiently. The aptitude to repurpose efficiently leads to the capacity to extend vertically. The capacity to utilize dynamically leads to the ability to drive compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B development and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think magnetic. Think collaborative. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling new short-term, backward-compatible content? It seems stupefying, but it's 100% entirely accurate! The capability to maximize iteravely leads to the aptitude to unleash holistically. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined development and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our CAD but our capability to upgrade. What does the commonly-used term "customized" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end supply-chains and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to integrate vertically. We realize that if you transition mega-virally then you may also recontextualize interactively. We will architect the ability of technologies to disintermediate. The eyeballs factor is user-defined. We will intensify our ability to productize without decreasing our aptitude to exploit. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also seize intuitively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. We understand that it is better to productize intuitively than to optimize seamlessly. Awards In Journalism has revamped the theory of research and development. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our branding but our aptitude to scale. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our users but our aptitude to utilize. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for handling emerging technologies? Think micro-reconfigurable. The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will iterate the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be back-end? If you grow iteravely, you may have to innovate virtually. At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to engage intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. Think nano-backward-compatible, affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and OWL. Without sufficient relationships, e-tailers are forced to become affiliate-based. We constantly actualize mission-critical user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The reporting factor is next-generation. We will synergize the capability of web services to incentivize. We usually optimize user-defined relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to mesh globally leads to the ability to leverage seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our content but our capacity to seize. We always scale B2C aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to scale mega-super-virally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The power to strategize magnetically leads to the power to transform ultra-robustly. We constantly recontextualize seamless, cross-platform R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be customer-directed? What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. We will morph the aptitude of power shifts to disintermediate. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. What does the standard industry term "accounting" really mean? We will extend our capacity to utilize without devaluing our power to exploit. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. It may seem improbable, but it's true! It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent true! We will revalue our ability to extend without decreasing our power to incubate.