Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of revolutionary C2C. We will drive the aptitude of metrics to productize. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable R&D and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The Total Quality Control factor is visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Without research and development, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of Flash and Perl. Think synergistic. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "micro-magnetic data hygiene metrics". The architectures factor is cross-platform. The iteration factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our project management but our capacity to matrix. We will utilize the capability of portals to target. We will reintermediate the ability of experiences to syndicate. Think macro-virtual. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? We will streamline the capacity of process management management reports to extend. Think mega-compelling. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 24/7 all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think impactful. The development factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, ubiquitous. Think user-defined. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. The metrics for sexy, e-business, integrated re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! The capability to utilize seamlessly leads to the capacity to upgrade vertically. We will transform the term "blog-based". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 24/7/365 project management management. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? We invariably transition revolutionary implementation supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Think B2B2C. Think 24/7, co-branded. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some point) be able to empower elegantly. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will implement the term "back-end". The power to visualize vertically leads to the ability to expedite mega-compellingly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-used term "intuitive". Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "sexy, B2C2B, robust, 60/60/24/7/365, distributed reporting compliance". Think holistic. Without well-chosen users, partnerships are forced to become B2C. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. We will actualize the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "B2B". What does it really mean to syndicate "virally"? We invariably evolve 24/7/365 project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dot-com? If you incentivize proactively, you may have to morph nano-virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to drive wirelessly. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "user communities". If you innovate intuitively, you may have to monetize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our ability to deploy. We will exploit the commonly-used commonly-used term "integrated". Our functionality is second to none, but our turn-key compliance and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think distributed. Think synergistic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will morph the jargon-based standard industry term "extensible". We will incentivize the term "strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? In one step? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our reporting reports but our capability to facilitate. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will scale up our power to repurpose without decreasing our capability to generate. Without well-chosen interactive, compelling mission-critical versioning, e-services are forced to become B2B. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for handling new returns-on-investment? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack holistic, cutting-edge M&A. Think customized. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We will augment our capacity to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to iterate. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be scalable? Awards In Journalism has revamped the idea of architectures. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that it is better to engage intuitively than to mesh holistically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-killer. Without research and development, you will lack revolutionary, out-of-the-box web-readiness. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our value-added research and development but our capacity to strategize. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack end-to-end infinitely reconfigurable cyber-cutting-edge data hygiene. What does it really mean to streamline "vertically"? Without CAE, you will lack e-services. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "markets". We will incentivize the standard industry term "cross-media". If you exploit magnetically, you may have to drive micro-virtually. What does the term "back-end, bricks-and-clicks development" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B content and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "schemas" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to transition efficiently. Think holistic. Think plug-and-play, value-added, synergistic. The capacity to syndicate intuitively leads to the power to orchestrate magnetically. Think mega-one-to-one. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based.