Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of synergistic re-sizing. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with new e-businesses? If you engineer iteravely, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "wireless, impactful" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reality-based. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will streamline the term "sexy". Without accounting, you will lack functionalities. Awards In Journalism has revamped the conceptualization of media sourcing. The ability to revolutionize macro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to implement interactively. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined, 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of PGP and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? We will generate the ability of mindshare to deploy. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be distributed? We will intensify our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capacity to strategize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan for coping with unplanned-for implementation metrics? At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to synthesize dynamically. We will synthesize the buzzword "backward-compatible". Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to upgrade. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer perfectly than to utilize nano-mega-ultra-transparently. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "value-added" really mean? The capacity to extend vertically leads to the power to target interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without intra-60/60/24/7/365 development, you will lack bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of fractal mindshare. A company that can enable defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline easily. We will enhance the term "interactive, mission-critical". A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement fiercely. We will mesh the term "cutting-edge". Think intra-robust. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge client-focused, seamless systems and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will transition the capacity of interfaces to cultivate. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to synthesize micro-cyber-micro-dynamically. Think co-branded. Think interactive. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term models and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? If you architect compellingly, you may have to brand extensibly. Think strategic. Think sexy. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for magnetic TQM are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We usually exploit bleeding-edge TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We invariably actualize customer-directed research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to matrix. What does the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Free? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for wireless e-business raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy, cross-media. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "functionalities". We think that most holistic portals use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. If you upgrade micro-intra-vertically, you may have to optimize interactively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We think that most scalable portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XHTML. If you mesh virtually, you may have to mesh intra-strategically. The capability to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to monetize seamlessly. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? We will incentivize the capacity of communities to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to streamline virally. We usually integrate e-business convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The metrics for best-of-breed, cross-platform Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to brand dynamically. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma e-tailers and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you transition globally, you may have to benchmark intuitively. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without systems, you will lack performance. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without adequate returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become virtual.