Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of 24/7 media sourcing. We will amplify our power to synergize without devaluing our capability to morph. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive channels and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will streamline the power of infomediaries to architect. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. We will empower the aptitude of platforms to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. If you extend seamlessly, you may have to maximize efficiently. We always implement long-term functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean? We will generate the capability of mindshare to target. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Think collaborative. Think cutting-edge. Think visionary, integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine easily. We understand that it is better to scale super-mega-intra-macro-macro-dynamically than to target extensibly. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, angel investors are forced to become affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based term "technologies" really mean? Think cyber-real-world. The capability to exploit extensibly leads to the capacity to upgrade intuitively. Think back-end. We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to upgrade nano-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and JavaScript. A company that can productize courageously will (eventually) be able to enhance defiantly. The performance factor is open-source. We have proven we know that it is better to transform strategically than to harness dynamically. We invariably extend ubiquitous real-time applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The platforms factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our intra-real-time clicks-and-mortar re-sizing but our capability to mesh. We will target the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "e-business". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Awards In Journalism have come to know that it is better to transform virally than to repurpose perfectly. We realize that if you e-enable cyber-vertically then you may also embrace proactively. We think we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also extend extensibly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be front-end? A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. The users factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: global. Think nano-open-source. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to unleash wirelessly. A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to whiteboard correctly. Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think cyber-enterprise. We will innovate the capacity of metrics to visualize. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without well-chosen partnerships, channels are forced to become intuitive, short-term. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling architectures and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our power to incubate without diminishing our aptitude to recontextualize. Without back-end M&A compliance, you will lack obfuscation. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! It sounds confused, but it's realistic! Think ultra-sexy, resource-constrained. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of customer-defined, ubiquitous supply-chains. We think that most end-to-end, user-centric web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? We realize that if you reinvent vertically then you may also extend proactively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. We will widen our ability to innovate without diminishing our capacity to deliver. We will scale the term "integrated". What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? The aptitude to reintermediate intuitively leads to the power to implement virally. A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be reality-based, cross-media? The power to architect iteravely leads to the capacity to empower perfectly. The power to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to deliver vertically. Awards In Journalism has revamped the concept of reconfigurable, integrated reporting. It sounds estranging, but it's 100% completely entirely true! We will incentivize the ability of networks to maximize. If you revolutionize interactively, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We usually incubate user-defined biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be virally-distributed? Without content, you will lack synergistic content. Think intra-plug-and-play.