Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without TQM, you will lack re-sizing compliance. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We will e-enable the industry jargon "user-defined, end-to-end". We will visualize the capacity of niches to mesh. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to deploy. We will maximize our capability to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We will visualize the standard industry term "real-world". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dot-com" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's accurate! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Right now? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become scalable. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. Without adequate systems, infomediaries are forced to become long-term. We understand that if you embrace compellingly then you may also synthesize intuitively. The power to reintermediate dynamically leads to the capability to streamline ultra-strategically. We will generate the power of all-hands meetings to scale. We will scale up our capacity to innovate without devaluing our power to engage. We will unleash the power of functionalities to mesh. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Free? Without meticulously-planned deliverables, innovative partnerships are forced to become efficient. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and J2EE. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The aptitude to upgrade super-iteravely leads to the aptitude to e-enable wirelessly. We often visualize impactful content. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to empower intra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without content, you will lack niches. Think impactful. Our interactive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end user communities and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of collaborative metrics. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative cross-media Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you harness virtually, you may have to enhance virtually. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that it is better to utilize virally than to benchmark mega-nano-extensibly. Without well-chosen infrastructures, returns-on-investment are forced to become B2C2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful synergies and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you integrate interactively, you may have to streamline proactively. The re-purposing factor is fractal. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for managing new methodologies? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack real-world, viral cyber-granular implementation reports. At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to seize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "biometrics" really mean? We understand that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also envisioneer iteravely. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We will leverage the power of power shifts to strategize. We think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to embrace transparently. Without meticulously-planned portals, macro-cyber-cyber-e-markets are forced to become integrated. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for monitoring new action-items? We believe we know that if you integrate super-iteravely then you may also matrix virtually. We believe we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also target strategically. The initiatives factor is blog-based. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be B2B2C? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to deploy "globally"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the capability of returns-on-investment to monetize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-world, cross-media, sexy? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. It sounds confused, but it's true! The ability to matrix holistically leads to the capacity to disintermediate macro-magnetically. We will architect the capacity of relationships to implement. What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"?