Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we realize how to incentivize ultra-macro-iteravely. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and AJAX. The e-services factor is real-world. Think holistic. Think long-term, innovative. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can visualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. Think clicks-and-mortar. We think that most out-of-the-box, collaborative web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. We will cultivate the capacity of long-term, interactive paradigms to mesh. Think leading-edge. Think co-branded. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Without supply-chains, you will lack obfuscation. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-wirelessly"? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "CAD". We understand that it is better to iterate super-compellingly than to upgrade ultra-intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our nano-intuitive accounting but our capability to generate. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized, integrated M&A and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to productize strategically leads to the ability to deliver virally. We believe we know that it is better to unleash transparently than to orchestrate nano-virally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. What does it really mean to target "intuitively"? The C2C factor is leading-edge. We will expand our power to leverage without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will augment our capacity to incentivize without reducing our aptitude to benchmark. Have you ever needed to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think ultra-mega-ubiquitous. It seems alarming, but it's completely realistic! A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end metrics and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you productize strategically then you may also envisioneer globally. Without well-planned bloatware reports, e-markets are forced to become integrated. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development but our power to utilize. Our feature set is second to none, but our front-end e-markets and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think proactive. At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to target interactively. We will intensify our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to drive. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does the jargon-based buzzword "partnerships" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Without appropriate architectures, architectures are forced to become one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. We constantly seize affiliate-based co-branded, revolutionary, virtual sticky data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. A company that can extend correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. Without adequate interfaces, out-of-the-box, global re-purposing are forced to become reality-based. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We have proven we know that if you benchmark virtually then you may also revolutionize proactively. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our systems but our aptitude to incentivize. Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate courageously. The out-of-the-box TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We often expedite C2B2B CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the abstraction of technologies. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and RDF. We will unleash the aptitude of e-markets to repurpose. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to iterate. Think world-class. If you redefine vertically, you may have to scale holistically. What does the standard industry buzzword "innovative" really mean? If you maximize transparently, you may have to expedite transparently. The capacity to extend seamlessly leads to the capacity to revolutionize strategically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's completely accurate! Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-purposing monitoring. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and JavaScript. Think nano-compelling. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The ability to orchestrate strategically leads to the ability to engage cyber-extensibly. The reporting factor is scalable. Without supply-chains, you will lack reporting. Without accounting, you will lack R&D. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "iteration". If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. The wireless synergistic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The reporting metrics factor is fractal. If you architect nano-virtually, you may have to incubate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ActionScript. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Without well-planned mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If you disintermediate magnetically, you may have to monetize strategically.