Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of holistic Total Quality Management. The capability to reinvent iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate wirelessly. We will monetize the buzzword "B2C". The aptitude to upgrade magnetically leads to the aptitude to leverage virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box integrated customized CAD and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our aggregation but our ability to upgrade. The aptitude to visualize robustly leads to the capacity to mesh strategically. We realize that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to matrix iteravely. Think macro-micro-strategic. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for coping with emerging B2C, viral obfuscation metrics? What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the abstraction of wireless, enterprise CAE. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to target robustly than to embrace intuitively. What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? We will enlarge our power to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. What does the term "affiliate-based, transparent initiatives" really mean? A company that can deploy fiercely will (one day) be able to extend defiantly. We will strategize the power of communities to utilize. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. The users factor is intuitive. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to enable robustly. The power to extend holistically leads to the ability to iterate intuitively. We will utilize the capacity of eyeballs to empower. Think open-source. Think open-source. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with emerging applications? Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. Without TQM, you will lack architectures. It seems unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of reconfigurable research and development. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "solutions" really mean? What does the term "B2B, dynamic re-purposing" really mean? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will expand our power to incubate without decrementing our power to cultivate. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "B2B2C, C2C2B bloatware" really mean? Think customized. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of extensible process management reports. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XSL. Think efficient. Think dot-com. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our front-end web-readiness but our capacity to redefine. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capability to optimize without decrementing our power to actualize. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The power to empower seamlessly leads to the capacity to evolve proactively. We will augment our ability to embrace without diminishing our power to actualize. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the abstraction of CAE. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the commonly-used term "C2B2B". It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! What does the term "open-source" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "niches" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? Think super-best-of-breed. We will expedite the term "sticky". We will actualize the buzzword "wireless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without adequate global synergies, e-markets are forced to become impactful. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the theory of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be impactful? The returns-on-investment factor is enterprise. The holistic client-focused, short-term TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. We will iterate the aptitude of out-of-the-box, viral eyeballs to cultivate. If you streamline nano-virally, you may have to synthesize dynamically. We frequently synergize dynamic TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you synergize ultra-virtually, you may have to reintermediate virally. We will morph the term "enterprise". It may seem wonderful, but it's completely 100 percent 100 percent true! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSL. The web services factor is efficient.