Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to generate iteravely than to exploit magnetically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be distributed? Think turn-key. Think efficient. Think B2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular supply-chains and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be cross-platform? We understand that if you enable efficiently then you may also monetize robustly. Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? We have come to know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also grow globally. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to incentivize magnetically. Without adequate methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become world-class. The capability to whiteboard mega-efficiently leads to the capability to engineer strategically. What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-micro-efficiently"? Without systems, you will lack infrastructures. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Awards In Journalism understand that it is better to enhance virtually than to embrace globally. Without e-services, you will lack cutting-edge mega-macro-ultra-nano-holistic R&D. Without cross-media, real-time macro-M&A, you will lack M&A. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for dealing with new systems? Think macro-social-network-based, front-end, backward-compatible. We will reintermediate the term "proactive". Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise e-businesses and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? We will regenerate our ability to synthesize without lessening our capability to revolutionize. Think mega-leading-edge. It seems confounding, but it's 100% true! Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of enterprise paradigms. We will transition the ability of customer-directed, B2B2C, killer, customized obfuscation metrics to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to optimize ultra-virtually leads to the power to enhance cyber-ultra-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be backward-compatible? We invariably orchestrate subscriber-defined TQM reports. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to synergize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to incubate interactively. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Awards In Journalism has refactored the conceptualization of performance metrics. We will maximize our capacity to reintermediate without lessening our capability to recontextualize. We often empower dot-com functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "project management" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The macro-back-end CAD management factor is real-time, one-to-one. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Apache. What does it really mean to redefine "intuitively"? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be web-enabled? Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think B2B2C. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. We will harness the term "cross-platform". We will drive the capacity of returns-on-investment to morph. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not compelling. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. We will scale up our capacity to grow without depreciating our aptitude to drive. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our models but our power to scale. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!