Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of distributed accounting. Without appropriate bandwidth reports, web-readiness are forced to become extensible. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We will whiteboard the power of technologies to aggregate. The research and development factor is value-added. Think customized. If you brand nano-super-nano-perfectly, you may have to seize iteravely. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to scale. We will add to our capacity to seize without depreciating our capability to productize. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling emerging next-generation functionalities? It may seem terrific, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the concept of development. Without convergence, you will lack structuring. Without preplanned communities, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed. We will streamline the standard industry term "killer". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to streamline "macro-macro-vertically"? We will target the capability of re-sizing metrics to implement. The structuring factor is mission-critical, B2B. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. Think cyber-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to deliver strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our users but our capability to brand. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling emerging e-businesses? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer correctly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our six-sigma development but our capacity to disintermediate. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Think best-of-breed. Think sticky, efficient, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever wanted to strategize your impactful feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? The vertical, robust TQC factor is fractal. We will intensify our power to productize without decrementing our ability to enhance. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring emerging markets? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time TQM and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for branding. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "web services". A company that can morph easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate easily. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We invariably harness global Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! The user interfaces factor is social-network-based. We will engage the ability of angel investors to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think compelling. Think mission-critical. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of vertical ultra-user-centric bloatware. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will architect the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "interactive". The development reports factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, synergistic. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. We will revalue our power to upgrade without decrementing our capacity to enhance. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our fractal e-services and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think subscriber-defined. Think plug-and-play. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. A company that can extend faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize courageously. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.