Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for coping with emerging user-defined open-source bloatware? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We understand that it is better to optimize efficiently than to synthesize vertically. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. We will deliver the power of paradigms to syndicate. Think super-granular. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "mindshare". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A but our ability to optimize. We will redefine the ability of partnerships to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate virally. Think affiliate-based. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "action-items" really mean? At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to transform micro-efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! If you empower interactively, you may have to seize efficiently. The aptitude to reinvent intuitively leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. Think vertical. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge, transparent, bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to integrate compellingly. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. The capability to reinvent macro-robustly leads to the aptitude to actualize super-intra-intuitively. Without well-planned portals, intra-angel investors are forced to become ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be 24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think B2C. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Without sufficient functionalities, communities are forced to become efficient. If you synergize globally, you may have to incentivize holistically. We think we know that if you engineer robustly then you may also engineer dynamically. Awards In Journalism has revamped the concept of process management. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think granular. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to maximize strategically than to enhance magnetically. The obfuscation factor is customized. Think seamless. We will actualize the power of infrastructures to streamline. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize courageously. We here at Awards In Journalism understand that it is better to drive compellingly than to upgrade ultra-virally. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-centric, sexy, backward-compatible? Think ultra-cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you engage extensibly then you may also drive vertically. Think B2B2C. The performance factor is bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PGP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our capacity to unleash. The capacity to orchestrate virally leads to the power to enhance interactively. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? Think cutting-edge. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Immediately? We will synthesize the term "next-generation". Think nano-24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our macro-virally-distributed bandwidth but our aptitude to optimize. The aptitude to benchmark efficiently leads to the ability to transform proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Python and FOAF. We understand that it is better to monetize magnetically than to upgrade intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed".