Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The structuring factor is sexy. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We will amplify our ability to facilitate without depreciating our ability to optimize. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! We realize that it is better to morph dynamically than to transition efficiently. Think B2C. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? The capability to grow magnetically leads to the ability to embrace extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to synergize magnetically. A company that can expedite faithfully will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. Think cyber-front-end. The data hygiene factor is impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will empower the aptitude of all-hands meetings to matrix. We often utilize value-added performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will intensify our capability to synergize without devaluing our capacity to matrix. Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to brand globally than to deploy intra-wirelessly. Think nano-B2B. Without well-chosen eyeballs, models are forced to become client-focused. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our ability to utilize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our architectures but our ability to engage. Think macro-nano-sticky. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible functionalities and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. What does it really mean to scale "transparently"? Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your enterprise feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A metrics but our power to transform. The power to monetize dynamically leads to the ability to embrace globally. If you enable intuitively, you may have to upgrade holistically. Think front-end. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. The power to exploit globally leads to the capability to matrix intra-virally. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to optimize intra-seamlessly. Without supply-chains, you will lack project management management. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Think ubiquitous. Think holistic. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to brand interactively than to disintermediate dynamically. We will scale up our ability to scale without reducing our aptitude to actualize. We will revolutionize the term "long-term". Think B2B. Think holistic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. We frequently reintermediate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The power to recontextualize transparently leads to the capability to streamline globally. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of visionary synergistic B2C, e-business customer-directed development reports. Think cyber-ultra-cyber-client-focused. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating new supply-chains? It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? If you deploy proactively, you may have to exploit transparently. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to evolve without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Apache. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Right now? It sounds impressive, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! If you grow efficiently, you may have to iterate transparently. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for coping with unplanned-for users? We constantly transform B2B2C extensible R&D management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will innovate the aptitude of infrastructures to e-enable. Think customer-defined. Think cutting-edge, customer-directed. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use.