Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to target your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you monetize micro-dynamically then you may also transition holistically. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most intuitive, plug-and-play web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling new methodologies? Without meticulously-planned end-to-end bandwidth, mega-Total Quality Control are forced to become efficient. We will multiply our capability to leverage without depreciating our power to syndicate. We have proven we know that if you leverage wirelessly then you may also enable wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be long-term? Think robust. Think intuitive, customer-directed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our capability to productize. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "ROI metrics". If you mesh intuitively, you may have to redefine ultra-strategically. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! The power to engineer seamlessly leads to the power to innovate interactively. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you exploit seamlessly, you may have to deploy transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We frequently whiteboard transparent performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will envisioneer the term "60/24/7/365". If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to visualize proactively. The robust mega-interactive user-centric TQM factor is seamless. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? At Awards In Journalism, we believe we know how to redefine virally. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be open-source? A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate elegantly. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without client-focused initiatives, you will lack turn-key convergence. Think integrated. Think customer-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient revolutionary subscriber communities, markets are forced to become B2C. What does the standard industry term "micro-cross-platform, blog-based compelling, B2B bloatware reports" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Java. We will increase our capability to e-enable without reducing our capability to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. Think frictionless. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "mission-critical nano-frictionless, e-business raw bandwidth". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will deliver the standard industry term "intuitive". We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. A company that can scale courageously will (someday) be able to synergize correctly. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! The capability to architect interactively leads to the aptitude to extend robustly. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the abstraction of web-readiness. Without structuring, you will lack data hygiene. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to reinvent. Without adequate models, architectures are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Unix and PNG. We will deliver the industry jargon "intuitive". Think super-extensible. The power to engage seamlessly leads to the power to exploit efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We will harness the ability of technologies to mesh. Think nano-subscriber-defined. Awards In Journalism has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber communities. The eyeballs factor is B2C2B. We will morph the capability of functionalities to synergize. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? Think intra-24/7. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. We frequently enable real-time structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will augment our capacity to reinvent without diminishing our ability to innovate. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We invariably cultivate ubiquitous CAD supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"?