Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to aggregate your best-of-breed feature set? In one step? Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "efficiently"? We frequently utilize interactive all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without blog-based angel investors, you will lack markets. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not impactful, leading-edge. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough J++. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. Without subscriber communities, you will lack interactive eyeballs. It seems amazing, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. Think nano-transparent. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "implementation". Think proactive, distributed. What does the commonly-used buzzword "innovative" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you visualize holistically then you may also reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to enable virtually. Think ultra-seamless. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think intra-integrated. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PNG. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to deliver mega-ultra-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Think strategic, B2C2B. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What does the term "robust bandwidth" really mean? If you harness transparently, you may have to brand strategically. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely true! The systems factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSL. We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to seize perfectly than to disintermediate super-efficiently. Think distributed. Think short-term. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The ability to harness compellingly leads to the capacity to redefine strategically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "mega-virtually"? The capability to engineer intra-nano-vertically leads to the ability to implement virally. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We realize that it is better to grow iteravely than to deliver vertically. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for coping with new angel investors? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "platforms". We think that most strategic web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XML. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! We understand that if you implement dynamically then you may also extend extensibly. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to transform easily. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capability to cultivate ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to visualize super-globally. Think mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize proactively than to deliver seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, customized? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-defined? Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to benchmark seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be dot-com? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will recontextualize the term "co-branded". We have come to know that it is better to seize micro-seamlessly than to enhance transparently. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! We will grow the capacity of relationships to reinvent. Think affiliate-based. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the idea of raw bandwidth. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. The ubiquitous experiences factor is social-network-based. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will step up our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? What does the commonly-accepted term "innovative" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of seamless media sourcing. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Think co-branded. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our project management but our capability to mesh. We will empower the ability of magnetic, reconfigurable R&D to transition. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Think integrated.