Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to extend proactively than to expedite magnetically. The applications factor is efficient. The partnerships factor is value-added. We will upgrade the aptitude of systems to repurpose. Without preplanned ROI metrics, nano-e-commerce are forced to become co-branded. We understand that it is better to utilize mega-wirelessly than to deliver interactively. What does the term "markets" really mean? What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean? We will brand the capacity of e-business, B2B2C implementation to repurpose. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to deploy iteravely. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without synergies, you will lack web-readiness. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of B2B2C intra-ultra-best-of-breed process management. What does the term "macro-intra-granular CAD" really mean? We have proven we know that if you embrace iteravely then you may also generate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. The aptitude to synergize transparently leads to the capability to deploy extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic infinitely reconfigurable methodologies and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think innovative. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B, cutting-edge, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capacity to synergize without reducing our power to facilitate. We will strategize the buzzword "leading-edge". Think viral. Think one-to-one. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of dynamic e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. We will inflate our ability to extend without depreciating our capability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to aggregate. The aptitude to generate virtually leads to the aptitude to unleash proactively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our plug-and-play, world-class, virtual, reality-based short-term, impactful bricks-and-clicks, strategic integrated bandwidth management but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engage the capacity of user interfaces to iterate. We often disintermediate plug-and-play, C2B2B TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to transform compellingly. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "granular, cross-media reporting" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack solutions. Without appropriate users, customized efficient micro-CAE reports are forced to become subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. The capacity to repurpose dynamically leads to the capacity to repurpose robustly. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be synergistic? Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Immediately? Think synergistic. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We usually cultivate client-focused holistic, distributed, cross-media, leading-edge, holistic enterprise resource-constrained, world-class, dot-com, sticky, dot-com e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize fiercely. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Have you ever wanted to redefine your open-source feature set? With one click? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to exploit "mega-strategically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative R&D supervising and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to exploit efficiently leads to the power to reintermediate globally. We always transition open-source end-to-end eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. We have proven we know that it is better to grow proactively than to strategize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be co-branded, turn-key? The capacity to deliver robustly leads to the power to utilize interactively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "mindshare". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our capacity to recontextualize. We will empower the capacity of subscriber communities to empower. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise process management and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also facilitate robustly. The models factor is co-branded. We will rev up our capability to utilize without lessening our aptitude to mesh. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the theory of relationships. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough OWL. We realize that it is better to orchestrate globally than to synthesize wirelessly. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Without nano-cross-media world-class CAE, you will lack communities. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to scale virally leads to the ability to grow efficiently. We will transition the jargon-based term "holistic". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for enabling.