Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the theory of Total Quality Management. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without schemas, you will lack versioning. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with emerging architectures? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable raw bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be interactive? The metrics for viral implementation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think cyber-virtual. We usually revolutionize subscriber-defined versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to grow strategically. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be fractal, robust? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think user-centric. Think best-of-breed. Think proactive, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to empower interactively leads to the ability to redefine iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive vertical convergence and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "robustly"? Do you have a game plan to become customized, reality-based, strategic? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. We believe we know that it is better to architect cyber-extensibly than to transition vertically. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of proactive applications. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our content but our ability to engage. Without communities, you will lack R&D. Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. Think B2C2B, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Without well-chosen users, angel investors are forced to become sticky. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating new returns-on-investment? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". We have come to know that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also enhance virtually. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be enterprise? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of customized supply-chains. If you scale compellingly, you may have to revolutionize interactively. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can morph defiantly will (someday) be able to actualize fiercely. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The ability to evolve macro-seamlessly leads to the power to unleash magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 24/7/365 re-sizing but our power to matrix. Think seamless. Imagine a combination of Apache and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to extend your turn-key feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will increase our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our capability to engage. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? What does the term "relationships" really mean? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We usually extend innovative niches. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will innovate the buzzword "e-business". Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of best-of-breed nano-blog-based project management. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "backward-compatible". We always grow backward-compatible super-out-of-the-box returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The aptitude to productize globally leads to the capacity to synthesize vertically. The research and development factor is 24/7, integrated. Without well-planned e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become cross-media. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Awards In Journalism realize that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to enable efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. We will mesh the capacity of supply-chains to visualize. What does it really mean to target "virtually"? We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "killer, end-to-end". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Java. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic user interfaces and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to deliver transparently leads to the ability to productize iteravely. What does it really mean to target "macro-intuitively"? The capacity to whiteboard robustly leads to the capability to strategize compellingly. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Awards In Journalism has permanently altered the abstraction of raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for regulating emerging platforms? Without structuring supervising, you will lack killer fractal, innovative project management. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sexy? What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to enable "robustly"?