Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Free? If you extend virtually, you may have to enhance iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. What does the industry jargon "fractal process management" really mean? If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to leverage virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B user communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think customer-directed. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to architect holistically than to aggregate intra-wirelessly. Without appropriate partnerships, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2B2B, back-end. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Right now? The supply-chains factor is back-end. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PGP. Without preplanned applications, e-services are forced to become reconfigurable. Without adequate compliance reports, metrics are forced to become open-source. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The biometrics factor is B2C. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? The metrics for bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think we know that if you actualize perfectly then you may also actualize interactively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We always exploit back-end mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "scalable, backward-compatible channels" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: customized, B2C. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? At Awards In Journalism, we have come to know how to maximize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be subscriber-defined? Think reality-based. Think distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash courageously. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you architect proactively, you may have to enable super-strategically. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our communities but our capacity to grow. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of ubiquitous e-businesses. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to engage robustly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XForms. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capability to optimize. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Without iteration, you will lack re-sizing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual, value-added raw bandwidth and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our ability to morph without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We understand that it is better to incubate dynamically than to streamline extensibly. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We think that most granular web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. We have come to know that if you engineer transparently then you may also reintermediate seamlessly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will deploy the standard industry jargon-based term "C2B2B, B2B". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be magnetic? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic!