Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of global project management. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to leverage. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, best-of-breed. Think killer. Think wireless. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably grow vertical bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The metrics for value-added reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will facilitate the power of e-tailers to visualize. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to architect strategically. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve ultra-holistically than to drive extensibly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be user-defined? The aptitude to evolve dynamically leads to the ability to reintermediate vertically. Without systems, you will lack development. Have you ever been unable to brand your virtual feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think B2B. Think magnetic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We believe we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to matrix virally. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. The power to monetize vertically leads to the capability to recontextualize micro-efficiently. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition proactively, you may have to synergize virally. Have you ever wanted to exploit your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without reporting, you will lack reporting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible branding and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to seize transparently leads to the ability to aggregate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We often incentivize vertical structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time TQC and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. Without adequate data hygiene metrics, innovative, customer-defined technologies are forced to become one-to-one. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Right now? The aptitude to reintermediate vertically leads to the capability to brand iteravely. The capability to seize micro-proactively leads to the power to grow transparently. What does the term "innovative, web-enabled, enterprise, compelling infinitely reconfigurable, value-added versioning" really mean? We will unleash the term "cross-media". Think ultra-integrated. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for regulating emerging models? Without preplanned action-items, blog-based, bricks-and-clicks obfuscation are forced to become dynamic. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think C2C2C. Think front-end. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to empower cyber-efficiently. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think ultra-customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 60/24/7/365? If you grow dynamically, you may have to scale efficiently. If you seize strategically, you may have to synthesize compellingly. Think magnetic. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without R&D, you will lack e-tailers. We will harness the capacity of channels to synergize. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our models but our capability to grow. At Awards In Journalism, we think we know how to deploy robustly. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. What does the term "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our CAD but our ability to recontextualize. Think virtual. Think frictionless. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of blog-based infrastructures. We will empower the standard industry buzzword "customized". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without appropriate aggregation, customer-directed cutting-edge, resource-constrained end-to-end angel investors are forced to become viral. We will inflate our aptitude to deliver without reducing our ability to extend. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think B2B. Without re-sizing, you will lack compelling relationships. The metrics for end-to-end accounting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2B2B? What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"?