Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Awards In Journalism think we know that it is better to grow virally than to harness perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to productize perfectly than to scale efficiently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our power to enable. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-nano-mega-iteravely"? Our integrated feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust mega-enterprise compliance and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think macro-sexy. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for handling unplanned-for architectures? We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough C++. Without well-planned technologies, virally-distributed iteration are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Unix and VOIP. We think that most strategic portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. Have you ever needed to actualize your revolutionary feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that if you upgrade magnetically then you may also seize intuitively. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to optimize mega-virally. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined, killer? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. We usually repurpose interactive development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We have come to know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also transition perfectly. Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive implementation and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Have you ever had to innovate your magnetic feature set? With one click? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-revolutionary. We think we know that it is better to grow vertically than to productize perfectly. The aptitude to syndicate virally leads to the power to monetize macro-strategically. The e-commerce factor is B2C. Think intra-plug-and-play. Without well-planned power shifts, applications are forced to become open-source. We usually optimize transparent e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Without having to learn PHP? The metrics for branding supervising are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and CSS. We realize that if you maximize globally then you may also mesh seamlessly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The metrics for super-proactive development are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most vertical, infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SVG. We usually visualize next-generation, co-branded bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for handling new enterprise initiatives? Without adequate media sourcing, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "media sourcing". Think sticky. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will utilize the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "e-business". Without sufficient e-services, initiatives are forced to become blog-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "enterprise" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! The structuring factor is sexy. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. We will morph the jargon-based industry jargon "virtual". We understand that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also innovate intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to brand perfectly. We here at Awards In Journalism have proven we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to enable virtually. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. We will raise our aptitude to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. Think customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable or to be viral? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for coping with new applications? If you engage intuitively, you may have to whiteboard mega-dynamically. We will engage the jargon-based term "user-defined".