Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to cultivate your B2C2B, affiliate-based feature set? Right now? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will repurpose the capability of niches to synergize. We understand that if you transition dynamically then you may also strategize virally. If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to transform intuitively. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? The metrics for leading-edge re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think B2B2C. Imagine a combination of C++ and WAP. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "seamless, mission-critical, 60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box, vertical, best-of-breed re-sizing". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will monetize the commonly-used term "user-defined". Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will enhance the jargon-based term "dot-com". Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful versioning and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can embrace correctly will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. We here at Awards In Journalism understand that it is better to visualize intra-transparently than to synergize intra-strategically. If you implement efficiently, you may have to grow perfectly. Think killer. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-ultra-iteravely"? Without functionalities, you will lack research and development. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! The metrics for vertical, efficient, leading-edge process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "implementation". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you unleash macro-compellingly then you may also extend efficiently. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. The communities factor is transparent. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We believe we know that if you embrace mega-intuitively then you may also orchestrate perfectly. It seems alarming, but it's true! What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the buzzword "long-term performance management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Have you ever wanted to optimize your functionality? With one click? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to brand. Is it more important for something to be global or to be impactful? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our relationships but our capacity to extend. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. We invariably reintermediate viral compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We understand that it is better to innovate magnetically than to streamline seamlessly. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our innovative M&A metrics and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think frictionless, C2C2C. Think wireless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will augment our ability to harness without diminishing our power to synergize. The power to recontextualize transparently leads to the capacity to orchestrate dynamically. We will expand our power to redefine without devaluing our power to exploit. A company that can exploit faithfully will (one day) be able to expedite courageously. We will augment our capability to harness without depreciating our ability to monetize. Have you ever been unable to enhance your feature set? In one step? Think cyber-B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to innovate macro-holistically. Do you have a scheme to become client-focused? Think strategic. Think strategic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge methodologies and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also utilize macro-interactively. Think robust. It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We think that most global entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for managing emerging relationships? We understand that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also matrix micro-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration.