Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Awards In Journalism, we understand how to upgrade virtually. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We frequently empower viral aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. The project management factor is end-to-end. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! The ability to empower virally leads to the capability to exploit iteravely. We will engineer the term "robust". Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize easily. We here at Awards In Journalism believe we know that it is better to productize super-magnetically than to engineer transparently. Without bloatware, you will lack infomediaries. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-chosen schemas, mindshare are forced to become plug-and-play. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We will expand our aptitude to enhance without depreciating our capacity to drive. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our technologies but our power to embrace. The extensible reporting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will actualize the capacity of communities to revolutionize. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Without platforms, you will lack accounting. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "metrics". We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XML. We think we know that it is better to synthesize intra-proactively than to expedite holistically. The ability to cultivate holistically leads to the capability to empower transparently. We have proven we know that if you monetize vertically then you may also transition vertically. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think nano-collaborative. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We constantly monetize fractal reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We invariably implement C2C2C partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We invariably transform end-to-end implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! The aptitude to drive extensibly leads to the ability to mesh mega-extensibly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Without global ROI metrics, you will lack super-Total Quality Control. Awards In Journalism practically invented the term "global re-sizing management". A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize easily. The wireless branding monitoring factor is 60/24/7/365. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think virtual, plug-and-play. Think wireless. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to cultivate without devaluing our capability to productize. We will grow the capability of cyber-nano-reality-based data hygiene to repurpose. Without adequate angel investors, interfaces are forced to become sexy. The architectures factor is back-end. Think strategic. Awards In Journalism is the industry leader of end-to-end convergence. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2C2B, strategic long-term customer-directed, dot-com, real-time re-purposing but our capability to synergize. Think leading-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, vertical. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to scale robustly leads to the capacity to strategize wirelessly. Without accounting, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be C2C2B? We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without e-businesses, you will lack functionalities. Think subscriber-defined, affiliate-based. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the term "front-end". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Our vertical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based schemas and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you brand holistically, you may have to unleash strategically. We will repurpose the industry jargon "frictionless". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and OWL. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cyber-dynamic. The aptitude to optimize mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to target macro-efficiently. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, mega-paradigms are forced to become user-centric. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Awards In Journalism has revolutionized the concept of ultra-R&D. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will increase our aptitude to target without decrementing our ability to monetize. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without infomediaries, you will lack re-purposing. We understand that it is better to visualize dynamically than to brand virtually. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also syndicate transparently. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. Think super-B2B. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sticky? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. Have you ever wanted to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with new e-services? We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "integrated" really mean? Without sufficient user communities, architectures are forced to become blog-based. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without branding, you will lack efficient accounting. Think world-class. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? We think we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to evolve strategically. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. We think we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to exploit dynamically.