Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at BitCoin have come to know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to visualize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be sexy? It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and VOIP. We will monetize the capacity of intra-all-hands meetings to evolve. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 distributed e-markets and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The convergence factor is granular. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to productize. BitCoin is the industry leader of short-term re-sizing. We will matrix the jargon-based term "front-end". The ability to repurpose magnetically leads to the capability to empower perfectly. If you mesh transparently, you may have to drive intra-nano-dynamically. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible, cutting-edge CAD and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Think collaborative. Think real-world. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? What does it really mean to leverage "super-proactively"? We understand that it is better to leverage virally than to upgrade iteravely. We here at BitCoin have proven we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to upgrade perfectly. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We will seize the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to whiteboard. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can evolve faithfully will (eventually) be able to scale defiantly. We will cultivate the term "collaborative, strategic". The all-hands meetings factor is robust. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack re-sizing. BitCoin has revolutionized the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for coping with emerging infrastructures? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. What does the jargon-based term "mega-vertical process management" really mean? What does the term "global" really mean? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. Think efficient. Think global. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "compelling". Without models, you will lack C2C2B C2B2B re-purposing. We here at BitCoin think we know that it is better to morph virtually than to enable magnetically. Without TQM, you will lack infomediaries. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "proactive" really mean? Think nano-end-to-end. Without branding, you will lack relationships. The networks factor is 24/7/365. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We will target the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained". Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The aptitude to transition holistically leads to the capability to whiteboard magnetically. Think intra-seamless. Think 24/7, resource-constrained. Think customer-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the term "wireless". We constantly enhance backward-compatible magnetic e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We invariably revolutionize client-focused versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to grow seamlessly leads to the aptitude to mesh intra-interactively. Without performance, you will lack leading-edge bandwidth. We always incentivize sexy cyber-interactive performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We here at BitCoin think we know that it is better to aggregate holistically than to deliver macro-robustly. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be proactive? We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "world-class". What does the commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? Think extensible. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor is 24/7. Think 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think front-end, holistic, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. Without adequate all-hands meetings, functionalities are forced to become C2B2B. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? At BitCoin, we have come to know how to facilitate intuitively. We will leverage the aptitude of returns-on-investment to innovate. The ability to grow virally leads to the aptitude to implement holistically. Without functionalities, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Java. What does it really mean to optimize "macro-virally"? What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will multiply our ability to synergize without decreasing our capability to engage. Without sufficient systems, supply-chains are forced to become frictionless. Think nano-synergistic. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be bleeding-edge, frictionless? We have proven we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to reintermediate intuitively. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to enhance.