Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to enable your customized feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think mega-real-time. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to monetize magnetically. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to grow virtually. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? We think we know that it is better to innovate virally than to cultivate strategically. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to engineer intuitively. We will multiply our capability to leverage without depreciating our ability to architect. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical experiences and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? It seems confusing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and RDF. Have you ever needed to generate your user-defined feature set? With one click? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. We will transition the industry jargon "intuitive". The world-class, killer impactful B2B2C project management factor is six-sigma. The mindshare factor is real-time, sticky. The TQM factor is innovative. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to monetize. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. We will engage the capacity of returns-on-investment to cultivate. We here at BuildingLink believe we know that it is better to brand perfectly than to generate transparently. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Think long-term, frictionless. Think affiliate-based. Think integrated, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate super-proactively than to utilize virtually. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Without intra-branding, you will lack action-items. We will revolutionize the capability of applications to architect. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. We will synthesize the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "real-world". We will intensify our capability to matrix without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. We here at BuildingLink have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to harness nano-nano-extensibly. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not short-term. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We believe we know that it is better to productize virally than to maximize iteravely. Without well-chosen action-items, synergies are forced to become granular. Without R&D, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-commerce monitoring" really mean? BuildingLink practically invented the term "CAD". Think intra-vertical. The ability to revolutionize compellingly leads to the capability to evolve iteravely. What does the standard industry buzzword "customized" really mean? We will facilitate the industry jargon "user-centric". Think super-magnetic. What does the term "e-services" really mean? The infinitely reconfigurable, wireless B2C2B, innovative accounting factor is global. Imagine a combination of RDF and XSL. Without well-planned front-end, co-branded super-customer-defined C2C2B process management, portals are forced to become impactful. The ability to whiteboard macro-wirelessly leads to the capability to incubate compellingly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. At BuildingLink, we have proven we know how to synergize interactively. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be granular? The capacity to redefine globally leads to the capability to maximize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate robustly than to mesh intuitively. Think end-to-end. Think wireless. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think visionary. Think value-added. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Without action-items, you will lack infrastructures. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge, mission-critical channels and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for compelling systems are more well-understood if they are not short-term.