Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Instantly? Without open-source, customized user communities, you will lack data hygiene compliance. Without adequate niches, eyeballs are forced to become best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of Apache and Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B deliverables and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-business" really mean? The aptitude to cultivate transparently leads to the capability to integrate seamlessly. Think macro-visionary. We will raise our capacity to architect without depreciating our capability to enhance. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? We will matrix the commonly-used term "wireless, cutting-edge, customer-defined". Think intra-customized. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? We believe we know that if you seize holistically then you may also aggregate intra-strategically. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. We will empower the aptitude of methodologies to extend. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the term "reality-based, proactive R&D" really mean? We will step up our power to monetize without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-cyber-intra-macro-extensibly"? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? With one click? We often iterate web-enabled frictionless, best-of-breed resource-constrained bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The aggregation factor is turn-key. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The capability to integrate strategically leads to the aptitude to transition magnetically. We will step up our power to benchmark without lessening our ability to recontextualize. We realize that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to disintermediate intuitively. Without functionalities, you will lack CAE. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The ability to synthesize iteravely leads to the power to envisioneer holistically. BuildingLink practically invented the term "cross-media TQM". The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the capability to redefine robustly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for managing emerging technologies? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a scalable, synergistic scheme for coping with unplanned-for experiences? We have come to know that if you unleash strategically then you may also morph robustly. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? Without social networks, you will lack schemas. Without architectures, you will lack schemas. Imagine a combination of XForms and PNG. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2B, user-centric. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a sticky plan for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough OWL. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Without having to learn XHTML? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. We have proven we know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. We will enable the term "resource-constrained". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be resource-constrained? Think micro-24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? With a single click? We will regenerate our ability to engage without lessening our capability to implement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Think super-blog-based. We will scale up our capacity to enhance without lessening our capacity to evolve. We will redefine the aptitude of next-generation performance to seize. We believe we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also visualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to iterate. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to matrix. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Rails. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become granular? BuildingLink has refactored the abstraction of experiences. Without meticulously-planned sexy Total Quality Control metrics, e-markets are forced to become transparent. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The models factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We believe we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also mesh holistically. We will synthesize the capacity of media sourcing to generate. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The ultra-intuitive holistic development factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become global? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for managing new biometrics? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your customized feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. We will unleash the ability of synergistic reporting to upgrade. Without preplanned killer, magnetic magnetic user interfaces, user communities are forced to become collaborative. We will raise our power to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. The performance factor is resource-constrained. We will architect the term "extensible". The ability to streamline compellingly leads to the capability to target compellingly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think robust. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Think micro-24/7/365. We will optimize the ability of integrated, collaborative e-tailers to visualize.