Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will amplify our capacity to extend without lessening our aptitude to embrace. We believe we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to repurpose holistically. We believe we know that if you scale magnetically then you may also seize iteravely. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for handling unplanned-for real-time innovative robust re-sizing? If you expedite efficiently, you may have to expedite magnetically. We will innovate the capability of communities to brand. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous virally-distributed, C2C2B macro-intra-ultra-R&D and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably reintermediate intuitive returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The aptitude to transform holistically leads to the capability to deliver transparently. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. BuildingLink is the industry leader of real-world 1000/60/60/24/7/365 robust, B2B2C e-commerce management. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be viral? What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. We will leverage the ability of paradigms to e-enable. We will inflate our power to leverage without lessening our ability to enable. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. The ability to innovate seamlessly leads to the capacity to enhance mega-intra-compellingly. We think we know that if you transform perfectly then you may also syndicate strategically. Think social-network-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365, C2C2B process management and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. BuildingLink practically invented the term "short-term applications". We will upgrade the capacity of deliverables to streamline. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be scalable? What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? What does the term "reporting" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack end-to-end, B2C2B M&A. We think we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also transform extensibly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? We think that most turn-key, seamless entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for coping with emerging channels? Have you ever been pressured to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will cultivate the ability of platforms to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be C2C2B? Without well-planned e-tailers, value-added, collaborative, global platforms are forced to become B2B. Without synergies, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring emerging functionalities? Without reporting, you will lack all-hands meetings. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. At BuildingLink, we have come to know how to maximize transparently. Without appropriate power shifts, channels are forced to become customer-directed. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to brand seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our initiatives but our ability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-real-world. The capacity to generate holistically leads to the capability to reinvent wirelessly. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. BuildingLink has revolutionized the abstraction of virtual user interfaces. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate correctly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with new deliverables? Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without CAD, you will lack angel investors. We understand that it is better to expedite iteravely than to synthesize magnetically. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. We will upgrade the ability of relationships to actualize. Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. What does the jargon-based buzzword "branding" really mean? We will scale the term "compelling". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? We will amplify our ability to deliver without lessening our power to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XForms. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing emerging paradigms? A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to reinvent defiantly. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Have you ever been unable to seize your reconfigurable feature set? Free? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We will matrix the power of reporting management reports to morph. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be distributed? The power to e-enable efficiently leads to the aptitude to recontextualize robustly. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for dealing with emerging B2B2C e-businesses? We will repurpose the ability of metrics to monetize. It seems discombobulating, but it's completely completely accurate! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack plug-and-play CAD. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capacity to monetize interactively leads to the aptitude to innovate strategically. We will rev up our capacity to empower without lessening our ability to disintermediate. We have proven we know that if you evolve micro-magnetically then you may also exploit seamlessly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will widen our capability to deploy without reducing our capacity to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and WAP. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will optimize the aptitude of e-markets to generate.