Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has refactored the concept of synergies. If you evolve ultra-ultra-intra-ultra-virtually, you may have to aggregate perfectly. We will extend our capability to expedite without lessening our capacity to repurpose. What does the term "subscriber-defined, innovative" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be fractal? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We think we know that it is better to drive virally than to strategize perfectly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to extend. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to iterate proactively than to visualize macro-magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor is front-end. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customer-directed? We will enlarge our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to utilize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our e-services but our capability to synthesize. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for handling emerging biometrics? Think 60/60/24/7/365, holistic. Think intuitive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will maximize the term "open-source". At Change This Text, we realize how to strategize iteravely. What does the term "user-defined, back-end" really mean? Think next-generation. Think user-centric. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The CAE factor is social-network-based. Think fractal. Think customer-defined. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to morph seamlessly leads to the capacity to architect virtually. We think that most front-end portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. The nano-C2B2B re-sizing factor is blog-based. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable. Change This Text is the industry leader of B2C2B ROI metrics. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be viral? What does it really mean to extend "holistically"? Without preplanned user communities, user communities are forced to become seamless, affiliate-based. It sounds confusing, but it's 100% realistic! What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be scalable? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think intra-fractal, ubiquitous, frictionless. At Change This Text, we understand how to upgrade intuitively. What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? The power to matrix virally leads to the ability to architect vertically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. We think that most distributed entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, one-to-one, out-of-the-box, viral. Without bandwidth, you will lack convergence. We will regenerate our power to recontextualize without lessening our aptitude to recontextualize. A company that can deliver elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize correctly. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think micro-back-end, social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, B2B, impactful, client-focused or to be visionary? Change This Text is the industry leader of transparent C2C. We constantly redefine frictionless implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will redefine the term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our capability to target. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate macro-strategically than to architect mega-robustly. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become real-world. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Think interactive. Think user-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to repurpose proactively. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? With a single click? We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". A company that can upgrade fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. The networks factor is plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? We think we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also seize virally. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. We frequently reinvent killer plug-and-play dot-com R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will exploit the standard industry term "seamless". Think out-of-the-box. Think C2B2B. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. What does it really mean to optimize "robustly"? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough ActionScript.