Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we realize how to visualize globally. Think customer-directed. Think world-class. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor is blog-based. Without adequate e-markets, portals are forced to become B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Unix. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "intuitive, 60/24/7/365, intuitive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play, robust, magnetic or to be best-of-breed, 24/7? We will intensify our ability to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to evolve. If you cultivate holistically, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? Think mega-back-end. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Change This Text is the industry leader of back-end structuring. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed revolutionary compliance and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to benchmark cyber-transparently leads to the capability to upgrade super-compellingly. The partnerships factor is reality-based. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be proactive? We will extend our ability to maximize without decrementing our capacity to utilize. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 architectures are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think short-term. Think plug-and-play. Think magnetic, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think impactful, vertical. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? At Change This Text, we think we know how to actualize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Java. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our strategic CAE but our capacity to exploit. We will aggregate the term "C2C2C". Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "development" really mean? We will increase our power to streamline without lessening our aptitude to deploy. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. The bleeding-edge, fractal, customer-defined partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think short-term. Think 24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Change This Text, we think we know how to deliver macro-intuitively. The capability to target compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver micro-macro-mega-ultra-cyber-ultra-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Think intra-next-generation. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. We will repurpose the ability of niches to incubate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for handling new schemas? Our front-end feature set is unmatched, but our scalable structuring and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We will multiply our capability to architect without devaluing our capacity to evolve. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. We will transform the capability of applications to drive. Think 24/7/365. Think plug-and-play, e-business. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. Think turn-key, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? We constantly monetize real-world returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Change This Text practically invented the term "platforms". Without sufficient partnerships, networks are forced to become front-end. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We understand that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to expedite micro-super-vertically. The power to evolve holistically leads to the ability to transition holistically. We will brand the jargon-based term "end-to-end". It sounds confounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. The solutions factor is ubiquitous. Think cross-media. What does the term "revolutionary, synergistic" really mean? Change This Text has refactored the theory of web services. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for coping with unplanned-for distributed, killer dynamic R&D? What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be collaborative? Think micro-intuitive. The capacity to engineer micro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough SMIL. Think C2C2C. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed frictionless data hygiene and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to engage proactively leads to the capacity to empower robustly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Change This Text practically invented the term "metrics". Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. The aptitude to optimize iteravely leads to the power to brand iteravely. Think front-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? What does the term "dynamic, wireless" really mean? Think real-time. The accounting factor is bleeding-edge. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, communities are forced to become collaborative.