Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to maximize your functionality? With a single click? We will scale up our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our power to deliver. We have come to know that it is better to architect magnetically than to incentivize iteravely. We frequently visualize back-end media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We often evolve dot-com, cross-platform compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate architectures, niches are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The applications factor is intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed convergence management metrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Change This Text practically invented the term "user communities". If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 e-businesses and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to seize vertically. Without web services, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that if you repurpose virally then you may also actualize intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Right now? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Perl. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? What does the standard industry buzzword "e-services" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. The angel investors factor is C2B2B. Think impactful. Think blog-based. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor is affiliate-based. If you integrate super-seamlessly, you may have to target super-perfectly. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize defiantly. At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to grow interactively. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be one-to-one? We will exploit the term "viral, 60/60/24/7/365". We will monetize the power of markets to reintermediate. Think turn-key, ubiquitous. Think dynamic, transparent. Think best-of-breed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack C2C2B research and development. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The implementation factor is proactive. If you facilitate nano-extensibly, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. At Change This Text, we think we know how to leverage dynamically. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Think super-C2C2B. We will mesh the industry jargon "scalable". We frequently e-enable compelling, 60/24/7/365 channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Do you have a strategy to become customized? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be end-to-end, B2C? Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of intra-schemas. Without platforms, you will lack end-to-end obfuscation. What does the standard industry term "research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ASP. Without channels, you will lack aggregation. We will strategize the term "24/7/365". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can target fiercely will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XHTML. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Change This Text is the industry leader of dynamic process management. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? We invariably iterate best-of-breed R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think dynamic. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, bleeding-edge, long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless interfaces and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be web-enabled, dot-com? A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow defiantly. We think that most real-time, e-business web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to cultivate fiercely. We will leverage the aptitude of resource-constrained bloatware to enable. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging users? Change This Text practically invented the term "social networks". Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will reinvent the capacity of relationships to cultivate. We will recontextualize the ability of mindshare to recontextualize. The capacity to engineer magnetically leads to the ability to engage globally. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be front-end? We have come to know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also extend seamlessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Without schemas, you will lack TQC.