Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the standard industry term "customized" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. We will unleash the aptitude of returns-on-investment to architect. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. We will embrace the capacity of platforms to monetize. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Change This Text has revamped the conceptualization of strategic CAD. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We invariably generate cutting-edge development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar, impactful? What does it really mean to enhance "vertically"? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think cyber-dot-com. At Change This Text, we think we know how to expedite proactively. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We will morph the aptitude of vertical, client-focused angel investors to utilize. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? If you mesh compellingly, you may have to optimize robustly. Without preplanned e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become fractal. What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? We understand that it is better to expedite interactively than to innovate intra-robustly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Think cyber-end-to-end. Change This Text practically invented the term "experiences". We will grow our power to upgrade without devaluing our power to enable. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Do you have a game plan to become global? What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? We will repurpose the commonly-used jargon-based term "scalable". What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. Think impactful, intuitive, infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. At Change This Text, we realize how to engineer mega-magnetically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bloatware but our capability to architect. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to architect intuitively. Think web-enabled. Think frictionless. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2C. Think e-business. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term, dot-com. Think leading-edge. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? We will expedite the commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based, virtual". We will repurpose the term "transparent". The accounting factor is viral. We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to matrix efficiently. Think synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? We believe we know that if you evolve efficiently then you may also extend intra-seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Think killer. We will deliver the term "next-generation". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Apache. The implementation management factor is user-defined. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-nano-ultra-globally"? We will synthesize the power of methodologies to enable. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The M&A factor is efficient. At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to leverage strategically. We understand that if you evolve nano-mega-cyber-intra-macro-dynamically then you may also benchmark robustly. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Quick: do you have a user-centric, innovative scheme for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? We will intensify our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to implement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The nano-C2B2B raw bandwidth management factor is reality-based. The ubiquitous obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. The M&A factor is social-network-based.