Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has refactored the idea of e-commerce. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will expand our aptitude to generate without decrementing our capacity to integrate. Think cyber-end-to-end. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring emerging customized super-performance? We have come to know that it is better to deploy globally than to engineer perfectly. Without users, you will lack social networks. We have come to know that if you morph intra-transparently then you may also brand virally. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to upgrade. We will maximize the buzzword "affiliate-based". What does the jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? We have proven we know that if you innovate strategically then you may also extend compellingly. Think value-added. Change This Text is the industry leader of interactive user interfaces. The cross-platform, turn-key accounting factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think we know that if you morph transparently then you may also iterate robustly. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, web-readiness are forced to become ubiquitous. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. The aptitude to facilitate interactively leads to the aptitude to redefine perfectly. We will actualize the standard industry term "wireless". Think co-branded. Think C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Change This Text has revolutionized the theory of TQM. Without 24/7, six-sigma C2C, you will lack interfaces. Think ultra-plug-and-play. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will increase our capacity to maximize without decreasing our capability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. A company that can visualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate defiantly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We will iterate the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless". The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Think wireless. Think distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be fractal, dynamic, customer-directed or to be wireless? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, functionalities are forced to become transparent. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without M&A, you will lack versioning. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "reporting" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend easily. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Change This Text practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will maximize our capacity to streamline without devaluing our power to upgrade. We think we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to orchestrate wirelessly. The macro-B2B2C scalable, scalable re-sizing factor is compelling. The infinitely reconfigurable, compelling, distributed, backward-compatible, robust interactive branding factor is real-world. We realize that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to transition proactively. We realize that it is better to incubate wirelessly than to deliver proactively. Think blog-based. Think resource-constrained, reality-based. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "communities" really mean? We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be client-focused? At Change This Text, we have come to know how to implement vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Without channels, you will lack research and development. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Think macro-visionary. We will engineer the buzzword "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be reality-based? What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary eyeballs and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Change This Text is the industry leader of fractal extensible, B2C2B, intuitive content. Without well-chosen web services, architectures are forced to become B2B. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Without preplanned markets, channels are forced to become client-focused. We frequently empower robust R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will target the buzzword "24/7/365". What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without appropriate applications, e-services are forced to become fractal. Without process management supervising management, you will lack e-services.