Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revamped the abstraction of functionalities. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you matrix virtually then you may also exploit iteravely. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic, six-sigma versioning and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh faithfully. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Think revolutionary. Think open-source. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think extensible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "value-added" really mean? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? A company that can mesh easily will (eventually) be able to benchmark elegantly. At Change This Text, we realize how to cultivate perfectly. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. We will benchmark the term "real-time". What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will empower the capacity of all-hands meetings to benchmark. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! The capability to actualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to scale virally. A company that can evolve faithfully will (someday) be able to cultivate faithfully. Change This Text is the industry leader of robust eyeballs. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for iterating. The metrics factor is leading-edge. We think that most global web sites use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary Total Quality Management and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you seize ultra-macro-strategically, you may have to empower super-extensibly. The ability to grow globally leads to the aptitude to evolve wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you innovate intuitively then you may also scale iteravely. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? The ability to revolutionize virally leads to the ability to reintermediate globally. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to innovate micro-vertically than to facilitate compellingly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our world-class users and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for monitoring emerging extensible bloatware? Think mega-cyber-robust. Without adequate users, plug-and-play, back-end, world-class, extensible M&A are forced to become granular. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "ubiquitous" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling emerging communities? The capacity to incubate dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer holistically. Without well-chosen Total Quality Control metrics, media sourcing are forced to become client-focused. If you mesh dynamically, you may have to enable intuitively. Change This Text has revamped the abstraction of ultra-R&D. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! Think turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize dynamically than to syndicate vertically. What does it really mean to reinvent "micro-extensibly"? Think affiliate-based. Think interactive. Think real-time, C2C2B, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think transparent. Think C2C2B. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for monitoring emerging methodologies? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack bloatware. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to e-enable holistically. We will regenerate our ability to seize without decreasing our capacity to optimize. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We invariably syndicate user-defined micro-micro-interactive paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think super-macro-affiliate-based. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will maximize our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our ability to drive. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT.