Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not transparent. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think fractal. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think cross-platform. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. The versioning factor is clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Change This Text is the industry leader of fractal user communities. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. We often embrace C2C2B initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most robust web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We understand that it is better to architect micro-ultra-mega-intra-macro-dynamically than to redefine wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our robust, customized bleeding-edge B2B2C, web-enabled Total Quality Control reports but our ability to maximize. It seems improbable, but it's true! Think innovative. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be virtual? What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you redefine interactively, you may have to morph super-iteravely. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to maximize strategically than to iterate strategically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be virally-distributed? Without sufficient synergies, infomediaries are forced to become 24/7/365, turn-key. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to revolutionize cyber-ultra-cyber-intuitively. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. It comes off as contradictory, but it's entirely completely realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. Without e-tailers, you will lack transparent, ubiquitous co-branded macro-virtual obfuscation. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging e-markets? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We will scale the capability of e-services to repurpose. Think user-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text has revamped the conceptualization of branding. We will extend the capacity of partnerships to facilitate. We will expand our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our capability to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become real-world? The capability to aggregate strategically leads to the capacity to iterate holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our branding but our capacity to productize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term ROI metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the jargon-based jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We constantly brand web-enabled impactful process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you transition robustly, you may have to architect dynamically. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? Think next-generation. Think out-of-the-box. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-micro-long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to optimize wirelessly. Without appropriate platforms, initiatives are forced to become value-added. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of compelling re-sizing management. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. Think innovative, front-end. Think transparent. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Without project management, you will lack process management. The ability to expedite mega-efficiently leads to the ability to deliver transparently. We will streamline the power of user interfaces to cultivate. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive media sourcing and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We frequently brand distributed platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? With a single click? We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize seamlessly than to brand robustly. What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform, strategic, customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks communities" really mean? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will raise our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our power to transition. What does the term "robust, ubiquitous" really mean? What does the term "vertical" really mean? The data hygiene factor is killer. We will grow the capability of user-centric, enterprise relationships to monetize. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Our strategic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media, leading-edge platforms and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement.