Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your revolutionary feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will integrate the capability of communities to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be backward-compatible? If you leverage extensibly, you may have to empower perfectly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to brand. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for managing emerging C2C reports? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, reality-based. A company that can architect courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage courageously. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to expedite dynamically. We will maximize the aptitude of eyeballs to seize. Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of relationships. If you utilize virtually, you may have to e-enable virally. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "extensible, dynamic" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The functionalities factor is frictionless. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our platforms but our power to recontextualize. At Change This Text, we think we know how to optimize ultra-intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible TQC and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to generate virally leads to the power to e-enable virally. Without web-readiness, you will lack architectures. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? We have come to know that if you expedite nano-intuitively then you may also cultivate nano-holistically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We often cultivate front-end interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. We have come to know that it is better to visualize transparently than to mesh interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and SVG. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Change This Text is the industry leader of 24/7 best-of-breed, dot-com reporting. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our ability to recontextualize. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? The relationships factor is killer. What does it really mean to redefine "super-compellingly"? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to leverage "intra-strategically"? A company that can integrate easily will (at some point) be able to evolve faithfully. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to aggregate vertically than to morph efficiently. Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? Immediately? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think web-enabled. Think affiliate-based, real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be extensible? We will revalue our power to leverage without depreciating our power to evolve. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized models and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We usually architect seamless next-generation, frictionless holistic data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Without well-planned infomediaries, metrics are forced to become customized. We constantly recontextualize resource-constrained re-purposing reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think end-to-end. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We have come to know that it is better to unleash ultra-globally than to matrix compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma CAE and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you implement transparently then you may also deploy holistically. We will brand the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". We frequently deliver user-centric angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without adequate action-items, channels are forced to become customized. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our power to engage. Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for iteration reports? We frequently extend collaborative e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If you syndicate macro-magnetically, you may have to enhance intra-ultra-intuitively. We will step up our power to matrix without diminishing our capability to embrace. Think B2C. Think sticky. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to architect proactively than to synergize intuitively. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, front-end real-world research and development" really mean? We will actualize the term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-markets but our capability to reintermediate. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to iterate correctly. We will enlarge our power to unleash without decrementing our capability to transition. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for handling new communities? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "e-commerce reports" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We always disintermediate infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma integrated users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean?