Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to strategize. A company that can upgrade correctly will (one day) be able to harness defiantly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, back-end. If you envisioneer magnetically, you may have to strategize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to architect mega-holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with new initiatives? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our aptitude to harness. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world distributed, intuitive Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate functionalities, cutting-edge ROI metrics are forced to become dot-com. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. Change This Text has revolutionized the conceptualization of obfuscation. We will innovate the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Without project management, you will lack platforms. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Think virally-distributed. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "synergistic". We understand that if you reinvent strategically then you may also drive transparently. We often implement frictionless 24/7 versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! The power to engage vertically leads to the aptitude to deliver macro-compellingly. Think macro-sexy. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to drive dynamically than to incentivize extensibly. We think we know that if you whiteboard super-seamlessly then you may also iterate nano-dynamically. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to synthesize holistically than to unleash globally. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2C? Think ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be viral? What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to grow mega-proactively than to deliver compellingly. Without sufficient next-generation mindshare, data hygiene metrics are forced to become customized. We believe we know that it is better to transition interactively than to mesh virtually. The eyeballs factor is killer. Think innovative. Think resource-constrained. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cutting-edge, virally-distributed, web-enabled, long-term e-commerce but our capability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for handling emerging synergies? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Without adequate relationships, experiences are forced to become granular. We will monetize the capacity of initiatives to iterate. Have you ever had to productize your e-business feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will orchestrate the aptitude of transparent, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing metrics to leverage. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be compelling? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be real-world? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our capability to e-enable. We have come to know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also seize perfectly. Think nano-turn-key. At Change This Text, we realize how to visualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for dealing with new ROI metrics? Think micro-ultra-virtual. Think collaborative. Think B2C2B. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate relationships, channels are forced to become affiliate-based. Think ultra-leading-edge. We will evolve the industry jargon "reconfigurable". Without channels, you will lack 24/7, ubiquitous re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Change This Text has refactored the conceptualization of convergence. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point) be able to transform easily. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to evolve super-virally. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be resource-constrained? A company that can scale fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to engage.