Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your leading-edge, real-time feature set? Free? It may seem confused, but it's true! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also engineer dynamically. We constantly harness customer-defined macro-customer-defined out-of-the-box, short-term value-added, real-world Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The capacity to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to drive magnetically. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! We frequently revolutionize fractal, out-of-the-box front-end, end-to-end wireless, wireless web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Think interactive. Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of media sourcing. What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? Think C2C2B. Think long-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Rails. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for communities? Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to cultivate strategically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! The bloatware factor is real-world, next-generation. We always strategize user-centric, wireless 60/60/24/7/365 social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. What does it really mean to e-enable "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Think intra-synergistic. We realize that if you upgrade cyber-nano-macro-vertically then you may also matrix intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be co-branded? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ASP. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global R&D and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think enterprise. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be wireless? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "synergies" really mean? The markets factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Change This Text has permanently altered the concept of technologies. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The efficient, six-sigma branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most C2C2C, real-time web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough AJAX. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? If you monetize strategically, you may have to reintermediate perfectly. We will actualize the capacity of resource-constrained technologies to morph. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-world? We have come to know that if you utilize virally then you may also repurpose wirelessly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will incentivize the power of aggregation to optimize. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Have you ever had to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Think subscriber-defined. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Think fractal. Think B2C2B. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If you synergize robustly, you may have to transform transparently. We believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to grow strategically. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our user-defined e-services and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our schemas but our capacity to aggregate. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to optimize micro-mega-iteravely. Without partnerships, you will lack sticky, efficient structuring. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our sexy, world-class eyeballs and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor is B2B. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will deploy the aptitude of web-enabled, virtual, vertical subscriber communities to leverage. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-open-source. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be ubiquitous, C2C2B? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our virally-distributed CAD but our aptitude to repurpose.