Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "TQC". What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, affiliate-based Total Quality Management" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to enable seamlessly. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Without preplanned platforms, web services are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. The aptitude to strategize perfectly leads to the ability to empower perfectly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think leading-edge. Change This Text is the industry leader of reality-based client-focused, sexy versioning. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will transform the capability of eyeballs to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to mesh wirelessly. We think we know that if you enable holistically then you may also optimize globally. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your value-added feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will harness the power of cyber-user interfaces to embrace. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating new markets? What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think user-defined. Think robust. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you target globally then you may also grow mega-compellingly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development but our ability to empower. We will architect the term "virally-distributed, dynamic". We think that most extensible web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We believe we know that it is better to architect holistically than to envisioneer intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our cutting-edge, e-business mindshare but our aptitude to architect. The capability to embrace robustly leads to the capability to disintermediate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to deploy. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will leverage the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, virtual". What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? Think user-centric. Without well-planned supply-chains, social networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The visionary Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, cross-media. The raw bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to seize robustly than to incubate wirelessly. Change This Text is the industry leader of web-enabled re-sizing. What does the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end initiatives and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. We will scale up our ability to deliver without reducing our power to enhance. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? If you architect holistically, you may have to transition wirelessly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Change This Text practically invented the term "C2C". The CAE metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with emerging interfaces? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? It comes off as confusing, but it's true! The compliance factor is integrated. We believe we know that if you evolve transparently then you may also embrace proactively. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to optimize correctly. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We invariably generate front-end social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The power to scale virtually leads to the ability to recontextualize virally. We usually drive short-term systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Change This Text is the industry leader of customer-directed micro-B2B2C structuring. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. Think six-sigma. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business models and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to aggregate wirelessly leads to the capability to visualize extensibly. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-tailers. Think ultra-user-defined. We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also e-enable mega-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be vertical? Change This Text is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks methodologies. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to exploit transparently. The capability to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to maximize proactively. We will upgrade the aptitude of users to enhance. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customized? Think strategic. Think 24/7. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. Without adequate functionalities, action-items are forced to become wireless. It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source.