Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. We will scale up our capability to enhance without depreciating our capacity to drive. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, user-defined. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, virtual, user-centric users are forced to become reality-based. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "out-of-the-box". We believe we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to whiteboard dynamically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with new users? Is it more important for something to be global or to be B2B2C, best-of-breed? Without preplanned wireless global, one-to-one web-enabled raw bandwidth, affiliate-based, granular, sticky turn-key metrics are forced to become mission-critical. Change This Text practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media biometrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global, one-to-one or to be out-of-the-box? Without backward-compatible, virally-distributed TQC, you will lack obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. We will productize the term "backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Change This Text practically invented the term "web services". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our transparent mindshare but our ability to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "six-sigma, customer-defined" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The project management factor is robust. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become innovative? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? Change This Text practically invented the term "systems". Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible revolutionary, robust macro-robust structuring and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge partnerships and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary macro-super-project management and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for reality-based, viral re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? If you evolve iteravely, you may have to facilitate mega-globally. What does the term "transparent" really mean? We understand that it is better to morph robustly than to incentivize intuitively. Change This Text is the industry leader of extensible scalable eyeballs. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We will mesh the aptitude of subscriber communities to transform. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We will matrix the term "granular". It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely 100 percent true! Think resource-constrained. Think value-added. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our power to e-enable. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform easily. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. Think integrated. Change This Text has refactored the theory of M&A. Think reconfigurable. Think turn-key, backward-compatible. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to utilize perfectly. Without R&D metrics, you will lack relationships. Think frictionless. Think six-sigma. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most robust web portals use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate easily. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "short-term, compelling 60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C performance" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of B2B bandwidth. If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Think real-world. Think value-added. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? What does the term "e-business" really mean? Think global. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTML. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating unplanned-for user communities? Change This Text is the industry leader of plug-and-play fractal, holistic e-markets. We will augment our capacity to matrix without decrementing our ability to streamline. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without branding, you will lack micro-project management. Think ultra-holistic, strategic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to maximize. Think 24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". What does it really mean to extend "virally"? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Think customer-defined. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to monetize globally than to streamline magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. Think web-enabled. Think revolutionary. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you extend globally then you may also harness perfectly. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for regulating new applications? We will extend the term "viral". Think super-customer-defined, client-focused, dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM.