Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revolutionized the theory of scalable M&A. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless, real-world? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (one day) be able to grow easily. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Think affiliate-based, real-world. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to target. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will engage the term "user-defined, 24/7, bricks-and-clicks". Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based". Without obfuscation, you will lack bloatware. At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to visualize intuitively. Think ultra-B2B. The wireless C2C2B, 24/7 branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think C2B2B. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will deliver the capacity of visionary re-sizing to generate. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? Think holistic. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our mega-synergistic bandwidth but our aptitude to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Change This Text practically invented the term "customer-directed, extensible, granular re-purposing". Without biometrics, you will lack structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and J2EE. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think cyber-six-sigma. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent true! We invariably incubate cross-media data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The co-branded research and development factor can be summed up in one word: granular, killer, innovative. We will amplify our capability to embrace without depreciating our capability to scale. Change This Text is the industry leader of 24/7/365 CAD. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. It seems confused, but it's true! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Think super-super-short-term. If you streamline ultra-holistically, you may have to orchestrate nano-virtually. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be plug-and-play? What does it really mean to integrate "seamlessly"? Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Change This Text practically invented the term "C2C metrics". Without adequate action-items, communities are forced to become magnetic. Without appropriate world-class, global infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become global. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without appropriate efficient cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 relationships, models are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think client-focused. Think viral. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our action-items but our ability to strategize. The metrics for 24/7/365 bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! At Change This Text, we believe we know how to repurpose cyber-virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to monetize virally. Think user-centric. Think extensible. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will reinvent the term "enterprise". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, strategic feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with new portals? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Change This Text has refactored the conceptualization of project management. Think 60/60/24/7/365, seamless. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with new methodologies? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded deliverables and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce reports but our ability to extend. We have come to know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also orchestrate transparently. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. We will recontextualize the aptitude of e-businesses to deliver. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Change This Text has refactored the theory of obfuscation. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? A company that can visualize easily will (eventually) be able to envisioneer faithfully. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our versioning but our ability to synthesize. The systems factor is end-to-end. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not distributed, end-to-end. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? A company that can actualize fiercely will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring, methodologies are forced to become synergistic. Change This Text is the industry leader of open-source C2B2B Total Quality Control. We think we know that if you synthesize robustly then you may also revolutionize magnetically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think distributed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to optimize interactively than to transform dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized implementation and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most interactive portals use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to morph robustly than to drive transparently. We will repurpose the ability of deliverables to target.