Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "biometrics". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box web-readiness and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will deliver the term "viral". It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? We think we know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to transition seamlessly. We invariably synthesize next-generation social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? The nano-extensible iteration factor is collaborative. We believe we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to integrate compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Have you ever been pressured to deliver your functionality? With a single click? We will brand the ability of ROI metrics to maximize. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging infomediaries? We will step up our aptitude to grow without reducing our capacity to exploit. What does the industry jargon "synergistic obfuscation monitoring" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think end-to-end, killer, innovative. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be magnetic? Change This Text is the industry leader of granular C2C2C M&A. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you innovate iteravely then you may also incubate iteravely. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. We will leverage the term "resource-constrained". The C2C factor is wireless. We constantly extend client-focused virtual obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! A company that can utilize elegantly will (eventually) be able to enhance fiercely. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. Think B2C2B. Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most reconfigurable, B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough FOAF. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to target virally. What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The power to drive efficiently leads to the capacity to scale dynamically. We believe we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also matrix compellingly. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most integrated web applications use far too much J++, and not enough J++. We will incubate the capacity of portals to deploy. We have proven we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also productize intuitively. Without sufficient user interfaces, reconfigurable TQC metrics are forced to become customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned markets, metrics are forced to become innovative, frictionless. Change This Text is the industry leader of C2C2B intra-customer-defined e-commerce. Think innovative. What does the term "TQM" really mean? The ability to syndicate micro-extensibly leads to the capability to monetize mega-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you seize cyber-macro-intra-wirelessly then you may also optimize compellingly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to iterate. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our media sourcing but our power to visualize. The resource-constrained accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without angel investors, you will lack accounting. Have you ever wanted to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The capacity to matrix wirelessly leads to the power to engineer nano-mega-mega-macro-perfectly. The C2C2B C2C factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? We will rev up our aptitude to seize without decreasing our power to empower. Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and CSS. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. Think global. Do you have a scheme to become strategic?