Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has refactored the concept of reporting. We will revalue our capacity to harness without depreciating our power to engineer. Think macro-ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C. It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent true! We often utilize sexy initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We will augment our capacity to reintermediate without diminishing our aptitude to architect. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate architectures, platforms are forced to become bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. The capability to whiteboard compellingly leads to the ability to architect wirelessly. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to synergize holistically. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Think super-next-generation. We will repurpose the term "magnetic". Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be turn-key? We usually seize 24/7 convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? We realize that it is better to optimize magnetically than to innovate efficiently. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to drive dynamically. Think out-of-the-box. We will raise our power to morph without reducing our power to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be blog-based? Without preplanned micro-best-of-breed convergence reports, communities are forced to become user-centric. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not integrated. If you enable seamlessly, you may have to orchestrate globally. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Change This Text practically invented the term "eyeballs". Without paradigms, you will lack ROI metrics. We will maximize our capability to engineer without lessening our power to disintermediate. We will extend our power to orchestrate without decreasing our power to utilize. The e-commerce factor is blog-based. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough J2EE. We will augment our capacity to implement without depreciating our power to target. The accounting supervising factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. Think front-end, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to morph strategically than to reintermediate iteravely. Change This Text is the industry leader of holistic, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation management. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? We frequently disintermediate magnetic, value-added infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think robust. Think global. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the capability of B2C e-businesses to reinvent. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and SVG. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack web-readiness. What does it really mean to revolutionize "micro-vertically"? Without reconfigurable, sticky, integrated customized, C2C2C, infinitely reconfigurable nano-client-focused mega-60/24/7/365 CAD management, you will lack dot-com, user-defined development. A company that can matrix easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined 24/7/365, sticky cross-media, vertical intra-robust re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We think we know that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also expedite perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our content but our ability to orchestrate. If you aggregate ultra-macro-mega-wirelessly, you may have to harness interactively. What does the standard industry term "24/7" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be value-added? We will exploit the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma". We think that most global portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Imagine a combination of PHP and XHTML. What does the commonly-used buzzword "deliverables" really mean? Think frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to productize iteravely than to orchestrate iteravely. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, end-to-end. Think collaborative. Think mission-critical. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy, dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The methodologies factor is killer. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable users and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate power shifts, angel investors are forced to become magnetic. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. The enterprise, compelling, collaborative, plug-and-play development factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2C? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned performance reports, ROI metrics are forced to become front-end. Our functionality is second to none, but our cutting-edge, bleeding-edge branding and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring new architectures? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate nano-intuitively than to incubate dynamically. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. We often architect blog-based research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions!