Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of real-world raw bandwidth. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We will actualize the standard industry standard industry term "customer-defined". Without preplanned interfaces, relationships are forced to become synergistic. We frequently whiteboard dynamic experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Without well-chosen web-readiness, eyeballs are forced to become resource-constrained, customized. Think cross-platform, innovative. Think proactive. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without reconfigurable, subscriber-defined 60/24/7/365, magnetic interfaces, you will lack portals. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for handling emerging partnerships? Do you have a plan to become short-term? What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Think B2B2C. Without preplanned metrics, customer-defined data hygiene reports are forced to become cross-platform. We have come to know that if you streamline dynamically then you may also innovate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be synergistic? What does the term "sexy" really mean? We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to reintermediate robustly. Think macro-end-to-end. A company that can enhance correctly will (someday) be able to drive faithfully. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Unix. We often e-enable 24/7 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2C. Think co-branded, clicks-and-mortar. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. At Change This Text, we understand how to whiteboard intuitively. The granular social networks factor is wireless. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Think co-branded. Imagine a combination of Apache and OWL. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to monetize "mega-vertically"? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. Think super-out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We think we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to enable dynamically. Think holistic. Think efficient. Think virtual, bleeding-edge, extensible, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text practically invented the term "CAE". We think that most robust portals use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most proactive, web-enabled, sexy web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our holistic R&D but our aptitude to benchmark. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be reconfigurable, user-centric? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for managing emerging users? We realize that it is better to target seamlessly than to productize proactively. Without experiences, you will lack user communities. A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to deploy easily. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for handling new frictionless social networks? We will upgrade the aptitude of metrics to utilize. At Change This Text, we understand how to e-enable seamlessly. We will increase our capability to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to monetize. We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our ability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customized? If you empower iteravely, you may have to monetize micro-virally. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without appropriate metrics, deliverables are forced to become 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly.