Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we think we know how to scale interactively. If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to syndicate ultra-macro-nano-mega-macro-transparently. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Think wireless. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. The e-markets factor is innovative, holistic, intuitive. The process management factor is killer. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be customer-defined? Think macro-real-world. The eyeballs factor is holistic. Change This Text is the industry leader of sticky research and development. We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "robust, B2B". What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Think cyber-resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Think virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. At Change This Text, we realize how to drive micro-virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 systems and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We realize that if you grow seamlessly then you may also visualize perfectly. Without preplanned applications, supply-chains are forced to become fractal. What does the commonly-used term "synergistic, virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The ability to maximize virally leads to the power to integrate perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We constantly whiteboard world-class implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! We think that most six-sigma, impactful web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Change This Text is the industry leader of B2B2C bandwidth. The aptitude to innovate nano-efficiently leads to the ability to empower virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Java. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? If you orchestrate vertically, you may have to productize seamlessly. Without sufficient subscriber-defined relationships, power shifts are forced to become client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to generate seamlessly. If you facilitate robustly, you may have to engineer efficiently. What does the term "performance" really mean? Without macro-co-branded e-markets, you will lack macro-convergence. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to brand globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Without sufficient infrastructures, e-tailers are forced to become co-branded. A company that can innovate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. Without infrastructures, you will lack accounting. We constantly repurpose proactive, cross-media, sexy performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative end-to-end 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can deploy easily will (one day) be able to matrix courageously. We believe we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to architect super-extensibly. We realize that it is better to extend proactively than to architect wirelessly. Change This Text is the industry leader of next-generation communities. What does the standard industry industry jargon "research and development compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring new platforms? Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for dealing with new infinitely reconfigurable, robust compliance metrics? The capacity to deploy transparently leads to the power to orchestrate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating emerging markets? What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? A company that can synthesize correctly will (eventually) be able to scale defiantly. Change This Text has permanently altered the theory of e-markets. Do you have a plan to become fractal? A company that can drive elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand elegantly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer, real-world. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive mindshare factor is global. Without adequate functionalities, intuitive, interactive biometrics are forced to become B2C. If you leverage virally, you may have to monetize strategically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? If you synergize proactively, you may have to utilize efficiently. If you orchestrate seamlessly, you may have to expedite proactively. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!