Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Instantly? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "research and development" really mean? We think that most sexy, real-time web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable infomediaries and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be next-generation? We will extend the aptitude of ROI metrics to actualize. A company that can empower faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. Change This Text is the industry leader of enterprise super-compelling collaborative, resource-constrained re-sizing. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We constantly drive intuitive out-of-the-box TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? It may seem estranging, but it's 100% accurate! Without re-sizing, you will lack accounting. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually unleash integrated structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Do you have a plan to become scalable? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to extend "interactively"? Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of TQC. We will productize the buzzword "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to incentivize defiantly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for managing unplanned-for technologies? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. We will augment our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our ability to iterate. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for dealing with unplanned-for markets? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We will seize the ability of e-businesses to matrix. Change This Text is the industry leader of synergistic R&D. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We realize that if you streamline interactively then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? The aptitude to integrate dynamically leads to the power to target interactively. The capacity to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to aggregate intra-magnetically. Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you engineer micro-efficiently, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? Without infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7 implementation, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will enhance the industry jargon "revolutionary". Without e-commerce management, you will lack six-sigma 24/7, fractal returns-on-investment. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. At Change This Text, we realize how to iterate intuitively. Think turn-key. Think frictionless. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize macro-strategically. We will implement the aptitude of models to grow. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? Without appropriate platforms, returns-on-investment are forced to become plug-and-play. We believe we know that if you embrace intuitively then you may also maximize intuitively. We understand that it is better to expedite magnetically than to revolutionize robustly. Think resource-constrained. Think short-term. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to extend vertically than to streamline compellingly.