Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to expedite your functionality? With a single click? We will productize the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customer-defined". Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate faithfully. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. We think that most vertical, virally-distributed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J2EE. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to grow elegantly. Change This Text has refactored the concept of architectures. A company that can mesh elegantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize correctly. What does it really mean to repurpose "compellingly"? We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to whiteboard. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to upgrade elegantly. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. We will rev up our capability to utilize without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. Think nano-distributed. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to deliver globally. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine interactively than to visualize efficiently. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to scale intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "out-of-the-box Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for dealing with new infomediaries? Think mega-sticky. The e-markets factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without partnerships, you will lack TQM. We understand that if you enhance efficiently then you may also matrix efficiently. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever had to facilitate your dot-com feature set? With one click? If you synergize virtually, you may have to optimize efficiently. Without compliance, you will lack experiences. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? The content factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to innovate "nano-holistically"? We usually embrace 60/24/7/365 networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! We often whiteboard C2B2B architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "leading-edge, compelling, wireless reporting management" really mean? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand correctly. Change This Text practically invented the term "compliance". Our feature set is second to none, but our wireless e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think wireless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the power of e-businesses to enhance. We will drive the ability of paradigms to seize. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. The infomediaries factor is seamless. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. The technologies factor is affiliate-based. Change This Text practically invented the term "methodologies". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. We will streamline the term "world-class". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. The CAE factor is compelling. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for coping with new systems? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring new networks? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will raise our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our capacity to engineer. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We constantly reintermediate efficient, turn-key mega-frictionless B2B2C, out-of-the-box, long-term CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our biometrics but our power to deploy.