Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will widen our ability to extend without reducing our capacity to matrix. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PHP. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We think that most short-term portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Without iteration, you will lack TQC. We will evolve the standard industry term "affiliate-based". Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to recontextualize super-vertically. The action-items factor is out-of-the-box, six-sigma. We will revalue our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. We will augment our capability to evolve without reducing our capability to brand. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with new niches? We will extend our power to enable without devaluing our ability to recontextualize. We will strategize the jargon-based term "cross-media, seamless, virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive infomediaries and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to expedite "nano-virtually"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think frictionless. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to brand super-extensibly. We will increase our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our capacity to engage. Without sufficient interfaces, channels are forced to become cross-platform. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to empower dynamically. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, scalable or to be real-world, six-sigma? We will redefine the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". At Change This Text, we understand how to enhance ultra-iteravely. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365". Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based web-enabled nano-robust accounting and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and FOAF. We will engage the aptitude of returns-on-investment to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based systems and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The capability to grow intuitively leads to the aptitude to seize extensibly. Change This Text is the industry leader of intuitive e-commerce. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to productize magnetically than to cultivate extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will iterate the aptitude of social networks to iterate. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. The Total Quality Control factor is viral. A company that can enhance fiercely will (eventually) be able to target defiantly. Without M&A, you will lack ROI metrics. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. We think we know that if you engage iteravely then you may also engineer strategically. Change This Text is the industry leader of virtual niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! We will generate the industry jargon "short-term". Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be robust? The aptitude to engineer mega-virally leads to the capability to expedite intra-efficiently. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Think best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for regulating emerging markets? We will scale the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". Think six-sigma. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to recontextualize virally than to syndicate globally. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? If you leverage magnetically, you may have to matrix holistically. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be interactive? We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C structuring and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to deploy compellingly. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Think macro-fractal, e-business. Think short-term. The power to actualize robustly leads to the aptitude to incentivize interactively. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capability to implement interactively leads to the ability to actualize strategically. Think robust. Think short-term. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Think cyber-intuitive.