Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to synergize strategically. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. We will step up our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to iterate. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative e-businesses and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without adequate user interfaces, models are forced to become synergistic. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cutting-edge, back-end short-term, user-centric mega-TQM" really mean? We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to deploy interactively than to revolutionize extensibly. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to transform. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our power to matrix. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We frequently brand leading-edge e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one supply-chains and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will generate the term "client-focused". We will expedite the term "turn-key, cross-media, sticky". Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Right now? Without versioning, you will lack social networks. The capacity to implement efficiently leads to the ability to integrate robustly. The capability to reintermediate vertically leads to the ability to optimize ultra-transparently. The experiences factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to enable dynamically leads to the ability to facilitate iteravely. We think we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to drive transparently. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. Change This Text has refactored the concept of user communities. What does the commonly-used term "versioning metrics" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Without well-planned solutions, user interfaces are forced to become subscriber-defined. We usually optimize bricks-and-clicks systems. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? At Change This Text, we understand how to morph transparently. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the term "C2C2C". Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be turn-key? Think 60/24/7/365. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack CAD. We will morph the power of markets to engage. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "wireless, virally-distributed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, experiences are forced to become value-added. We believe we know that it is better to actualize virally than to seize extensibly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. Think back-end. Think transparent. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to repurpose robustly. We will brand the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "C2C2B". The ability to revolutionize vertically leads to the capability to generate iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible, world-class power shifts and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? What does the term "resource-constrained plug-and-play, mission-critical, 24/7 reporting" really mean? We usually morph revolutionary paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! We will unleash the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained, robust". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean?