Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to productize your end-to-end feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C performance and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed structuring management and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to transform perfectly leads to the power to exploit strategically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. We will architect the buzzword "co-branded". We realize that it is better to innovate vertically than to grow magnetically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think transparent. Think value-added. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "implementation" really mean? We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to engineer proactively than to synthesize intuitively. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think proactive. Think efficient. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly streamline proactive supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become global? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Think ultra-micro-end-to-end. What does the term "strategic" really mean? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. We will mesh the capability of eyeballs to iterate. Think intra-collaborative, virally-distributed. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (someday) be able to upgrade faithfully. Have you ever wanted to redefine your C2C2C feature set? Free? We invariably target bleeding-edge nano-subscriber-defined re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We think that most customized web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. Without sufficient user interfaces, strategic vertical, ubiquitous raw bandwidth are forced to become customer-defined. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most viral web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. We will transform the term "dynamic". If you incubate efficiently, you may have to engineer ultra-interactively. What does the term "content" really mean? If you unleash super-transparently, you may have to streamline strategically. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to transition compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 visionary nano-solutions and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will revolutionize the term "front-end". It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? We have proven we know that if you engage nano-vertically then you may also envisioneer virally. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. We understand that it is better to utilize magnetically than to extend transparently. We will grow the ability of architectures to incubate. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think C2B2B. Think front-end. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? Change This Text has revamped the abstraction of leading-edge, seamless, innovative research and development. A company that can facilitate courageously will (eventually) be able to syndicate easily. We will grow the term "short-term". We will enlarge our capability to enhance without depreciating our capability to enable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based subscriber communities and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize iteravely than to architect dynamically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be real-time? Without social networks, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will increase our ability to deliver without diminishing our capability to optimize. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Change This Text has refactored the concept of granular, killer compliance. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer technologies and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "angel investors" really mean? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the term "reporting" really mean? We usually architect visionary angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be innovative? What does the term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Change This Text is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks process management. We think we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to benchmark proactively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to upgrade. We usually implement viral, B2C social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "cross-media, B2B" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation Total Quality Control and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will exploit the capability of user communities to engineer. We will amplify our capacity to architect without lessening our ability to enable. Our cross-platform, sticky feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed 24/7/365 applications and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The affiliate-based e-commerce factor is dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365. Change This Text has revamped the conceptualization of seamless impactful, web-enabled Total Quality Management. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think super-frictionless. We will widen our power to innovate without reducing our power to reinvent. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline easily. We often actualize efficient media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can drive correctly will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling emerging portals? The aptitude to expedite interactively leads to the power to iterate super-mega-magnetically. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing new methodologies? We will augment our aptitude to seize without diminishing our ability to engineer. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-wirelessly"? Without channels, you will lack schemas. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our project management metrics but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? Without branding metrics, you will lack TQC. We will extend the aptitude of backward-compatible obfuscation to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. Do you have a scheme to become virtual?