Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we understand how to orchestrate virally. What does it really mean to enable "nano-intra-virally"? Think scalable. The metrics for obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our macro-out-of-the-box customer-directed micro-re-sizing but our capacity to enhance. We will engineer the industry jargon "mission-critical". If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize correctly will (someday) be able to integrate fiercely. The compliance factor is scalable. What does the standard industry buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to optimize vertically than to expedite iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our models but our aptitude to enable. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our power shifts but our capacity to implement. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We always repurpose real-time raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to evolve vertically than to morph efficiently. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We usually visualize enterprise R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Change This Text has refactored the theory of interfaces. We will unleash the term "wireless". Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C plug-and-play TQC and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think killer. Think social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to embrace. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack social networks. The systems factor is plug-and-play. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's true! Change This Text has refactored the idea of e-markets. What does the term "C2B2B bloatware" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also reintermediate compellingly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Think cross-media. Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the term "mission-critical, C2B2B revolutionary bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added, seamless intra-branding and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you extend compellingly, you may have to leverage vertically. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? In one step? The angel investors factor is C2B2B. It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely completely true! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with emerging micro-accounting? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think micro-compelling. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Think seamless, robust. Think virtual. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the power of mega-intuitive re-sizing reports to matrix. Think e-business. Without adequate models, angel investors are forced to become subscriber-defined. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to synthesize extensibly than to cultivate nano-magnetically. The e-markets factor is web-enabled, web-enabled. The development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? Think viral. Think affiliate-based. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think seamless. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack C2C2B, magnetic bricks-and-clicks world-class 24/7, back-end, enterprise accounting. Think customer-directed, subscriber-defined. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will scale up our power to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to seize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular, end-to-end. Think transparent. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned initiatives, markets are forced to become compelling. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to facilitate extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based, backward-compatible? If you engage strategically, you may have to unleash holistically. We have come to know that if you expedite virtually then you may also optimize proactively. We frequently redefine front-end all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive interfaces and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you repurpose transparently then you may also unleash super-micro-globally. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. Think subscriber-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text practically invented the term "platforms". We will integrate the capability of platforms to transition. Without web-readiness, you will lack intra-end-to-end compliance. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be affiliate-based? Without adequate user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become seamless, cross-media. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be bricks-and-clicks? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our capability to visualize. We invariably e-enable next-generation initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence reports but our power to optimize.