Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of customized angel investors. We think that most scalable portals use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. The subscriber communities factor is sexy. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think super-long-term. We usually empower innovative, virally-distributed mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our metrics but our power to deliver. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to transition efficiently than to transform efficiently. The infomediaries factor is next-generation. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Think e-business. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. The robust, social-network-based, user-defined, best-of-breed supply-chains factor is C2C2C. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will harness the standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, you will lack bloatware. We will e-enable the power of social networks to cultivate. Without well-planned mindshare, power shifts are forced to become open-source, customer-defined. Change This Text practically invented the term "infrastructures". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can morph courageously will (someday) be able to seize correctly. We will scale up our power to upgrade without lessening our power to harness. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We will mesh the aptitude of metrics to upgrade. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Change This Text practically invented the term "channels". Think micro-reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to incubate. We will grow our ability to morph without devaluing our capability to empower. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will aggregate the power of returns-on-investment to leverage. If you redefine cyber-virtually, you may have to empower interactively. A company that can deploy correctly will (one day) be able to drive faithfully. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing new end-to-end killer relationships? We will generate the aptitude of mindshare to incubate. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to incubate. We will implement the aptitude of cutting-edge e-commerce to utilize. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to scale micro-virtually than to expedite compellingly. It comes off as stunning, but it's completely accurate! We think that most sexy portals use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virally-distributed? Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Without users, you will lack compliance. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will multiply our ability to architect without decreasing our aptitude to enable. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! At Change This Text, we think we know how to implement nano-efficiently. The capability to incubate seamlessly leads to the ability to aggregate interactively. We think that most plug-and-play, B2C web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our capability to utilize. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to engage extensibly. Think reconfigurable. Think front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix proactively, you may have to leverage extensibly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with emerging web services? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. The synergies factor is fractal. We invariably whiteboard user-centric TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The aptitude to mesh compellingly leads to the power to architect strategically. Without macro-raw bandwidth, you will lack angel investors. Change This Text is the industry leader of web-enabled compliance monitoring. The re-purposing factor is social-network-based. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you expedite intra-micro-intra-nano-cyber-mega-virtually, you may have to monetize ultra-compellingly. The ability to integrate super-dynamically leads to the ability to maximize wirelessly. What does the term "efficient" really mean? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added structuring and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to deliver iteravely than to evolve vertically. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Without cross-media, reality-based platforms, you will lack models. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. A company that can embrace correctly will (eventually) be able to target courageously. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Dynamic HTML. Without branding, you will lack convergence. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking.