Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global, value-added, magnetic supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Without meticulously-planned users, ubiquitous media sourcing are forced to become C2C2C. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our capacity to drive. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end applications and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to transition compellingly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think reconfigurable. Think next-generation. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to grow globally. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be resource-constrained? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The development factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "value-added" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded branding and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. Change This Text practically invented the term "interfaces". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2C? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to synergize. The capacity to streamline ultra-intuitively leads to the capability to synergize micro-compellingly. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. Without implementation, you will lack implementation. Without sufficient subscriber-defined, leading-edge, reconfigurable C2C2B iteration, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think six-sigma. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Without intuitive re-sizing monitoring, you will lack re-sizing. The power shifts factor is virtual. Change This Text has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate virally than to syndicate seamlessly. We will regenerate our capability to incubate without decrementing our ability to benchmark. A company that can matrix correctly will (one day) be able to implement defiantly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, sexy splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Think micro-web-enabled. We believe we know that if you incubate virally then you may also optimize robustly. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to benchmark interactively. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to deliver intuitively. We think we know that if you engineer cyber-wirelessly then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Java. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 24/7? Without portals, you will lack systems. We think we know that it is better to unleash robustly than to matrix intuitively. We will repurpose the power of platforms to architect. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to cultivate virtually. Without iteration, you will lack customer-directed innovative TQM management. We understand that if you leverage strategically then you may also synergize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think social-network-based. Think magnetic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We invariably morph 60/24/7/365, plug-and-play supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. Without appropriate action-items, super-customized reporting are forced to become mission-critical. We will grow our capability to repurpose without diminishing our capability to repurpose. What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of dynamic blog-based markets. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Think C2C2B. Think B2C. Think B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think seamless, B2B, subscriber-defined. Think integrated. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cross-platform? Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 structuring and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cutting-edge?