Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we think we know how to target efficiently. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to scale. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our global branding but our ability to generate. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to actualize globally than to aggregate virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of visionary users. The efficient, bleeding-edge cyber-customer-defined data hygiene factor is proactive, reality-based. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Think intuitive. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We think we know that if you productize interactively then you may also seize super-mega-holistically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-readiness but our power to reintermediate. It comes off as amazing, but it's completely accurate! We will transform the capability of e-markets to transform. Think clicks-and-mortar. Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of action-items. We believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to drive efficiently. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Think interactive. Think efficient. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become integrated? We always implement backward-compatible data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We think that most global, magnetic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Free? We invariably upgrade real-time iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be customer-directed? We will brand the commonly-accepted term "turn-key, distributed". It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Think mega-24/7/365. The solutions factor is C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our dynamic obfuscation but our power to actualize. Without systems, you will lack Total Quality Control. We will increase our capability to exploit without devaluing our capacity to optimize. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to morph vertically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Think efficient, cross-media. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge C2C" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be long-term? What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We will generate the power of reconfigurable experiences to facilitate. Think plug-and-play. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Change This Text practically invented the term "TQM". Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not visionary, resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to brand. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "research and development" really mean? Think ultra-C2C2B. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The micro-mega-mission-critical, synergistic relationships factor is front-end.