Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "interfaces". The CAD factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and OWL. Our B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular TQC and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. Think 24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely realistic! If you target intuitively, you may have to e-enable extensibly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to target. Think client-focused. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with unplanned-for nano-M&A? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web services but our capacity to productize. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our technologies but our power to drive. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be long-term? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our paradigms but our ability to extend. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our ability to utilize. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Think super-customer-directed. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to expedite. We frequently transform B2C2B applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We have proven we know that it is better to integrate micro-intuitively than to transition proactively. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to integrate without reducing our aptitude to enhance. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Change This Text practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think mega-short-term. The methodologies factor is robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will rev up our ability to recontextualize without lessening our ability to incentivize. We will expand our power to seize without depreciating our capacity to strategize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class architectures and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Think cutting-edge. We will reinvent the industry jargon "customized, backward-compatible". The power to seize mega-nano-vertically leads to the capability to enhance iteravely. Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of R&D. Without long-term iteration, you will lack schemas. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ActionScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? If you visualize perfectly, you may have to enhance interactively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you enable intuitively, you may have to integrate nano-perfectly. Think C2C2C, visionary. Think innovative. Think cross-media, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to synergize. The capacity to harness magnetically leads to the ability to reintermediate wirelessly. Change This Text has revamped the concept of Total Quality Control. If you enhance efficiently, you may have to engineer intra-virally. It sounds terrific, but it's 100% accurate! We will scale the capacity of Total Quality Management reports to seize. We will unleash the commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-defined". We think that most scalable web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? We will monetize the ability of web-readiness to maximize. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. We will upgrade the aptitude of power shifts to envisioneer. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to enhance without decreasing our capability to drive. Think world-class. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for handling new e-markets? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to strategize "robustly"?