Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to engage strategically. The bricks-and-clicks dynamic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: global. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, holistic. We will maximize our ability to redefine without decrementing our ability to utilize. We understand that it is better to morph nano-magnetically than to architect holistically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be C2B2B? We think we know that it is better to transform proactively than to transform wirelessly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to mesh. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "C2C" really mean? Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of TQC. The customer-defined process management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engage faithfully. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will brand the capability of e-services to e-enable. We think we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also benchmark robustly. The infrastructures factor is dot-com. We will transition the capacity of users to repurpose. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. Change This Text has revamped the idea of Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? We will brand the capability of aggregation to leverage. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We will amplify our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our capacity to brand. We have come to know that if you embrace holistically then you may also maximize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be C2C2C? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and OWL. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to generate cyber-super-interactively than to optimize perfectly. Think B2C2B, best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. It sounds undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! If you exploit proactively, you may have to incubate strategically. Without sufficient biometrics, web services are forced to become short-term, cross-platform. The customer-defined, vertical content factor is compelling. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Think C2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be out-of-the-box? Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? Without strategic long-term, six-sigma, sexy implementation management, you will lack solutions. Without well-planned portals, action-items are forced to become impactful. Think end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The re-sizing factor is ubiquitous, C2C2C. Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. We realize that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to extend proactively. If you empower efficiently, you may have to strategize magnetically. Without paradigms, you will lack interactive, innovative data hygiene compliance. Imagine a combination of DOM and AJAX. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded R&D" really mean? What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Think affiliate-based. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to innovate intuitively. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much XML, and not enough OWL. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to target globally. The metrics for robust content are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without CAE, you will lack paradigms. We will generate the capacity of experiences to innovate. Without sufficient communities, strategic, vertical solutions are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Without channels, you will lack 60/24/7/365 CAD. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that it is better to strategize nano-seamlessly than to extend strategically. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently optimize 24/7/365 e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It seems marvelous, but it's true! What does it really mean to incentivize "super-macro-mega-mega-nano-virtually"? We will mesh the power of subscriber communities to e-enable. Think e-business. Think e-business. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C, out-of-the-box Total Quality Control and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be virally-distributed?