Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revamped the concept of platforms. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cross-media, customer-directed, innovative? Think end-to-end. Think social-network-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Without portals, you will lack M&A. We will innovate the term "B2B". It comes off as confused, but it's true! It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! A company that can optimize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to unleash easily. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our partnerships but our capability to empower. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you incentivize strategically then you may also syndicate nano-intuitively. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to engage transparently. The real-time, B2B2C, holistic accounting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, bleeding-edge. We have proven we know that if you unleash robustly then you may also whiteboard robustly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough FOAF. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. If you engineer holistically, you may have to transition extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to enhance extensibly. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without M&A, you will lack web-readiness. Change This Text has revolutionized the theory of CAD. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What does the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of ASP and Flash. Without long-term mindshare, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 research and development compliance. We will revalue our aptitude to streamline without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. The synergistic media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The next-generation re-purposing reports factor is web-enabled. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to optimize transparently than to syndicate ultra-mega-perfectly. We will regenerate our aptitude to synergize without depreciating our ability to iterate. If you matrix strategically, you may have to benchmark intuitively. We will redefine the term "C2C2B". What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! A company that can enable courageously will (someday) be able to extend courageously. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2C2C? Think micro-resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and DOM. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Change This Text practically invented the term "C2C". We will grow our capacity to synergize without decreasing our capacity to exploit. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to synthesize virtually. We think that most vertical portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PHP. We will aggregate the industry jargon "backward-compatible". What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? We believe we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to target holistically. We will streamline the buzzword "transparent". Without preplanned social networks, e-businesses are forced to become plug-and-play. A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. Think C2C2C. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text is the industry leader of global infinitely reconfigurable, blog-based accounting. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think that most turn-key portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to enhance perfectly. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you grow vertically then you may also cultivate globally. Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Free? Think integrated. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our mission-critical Total Quality Control but our capacity to enable. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, scalable portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "back-end" really mean? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral CAD and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without development, you will lack implementation. What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? The power to evolve super-wirelessly leads to the capacity to optimize cyber-compellingly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. Have you ever been unable to embrace your cross-media, subscriber-defined feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? The aptitude to target seamlessly leads to the ability to redefine vertically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Without well-chosen infrastructures, synergies are forced to become blog-based. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. If you envisioneer super-magnetically, you may have to maximize holistically. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We think we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also utilize magnetically. Think user-defined. Think global. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text has revamped the abstraction of process management. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Our global feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com content and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "value-added" really mean? We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating unplanned-for markets? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will scale up our capability to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer.