Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "systems". We will implement the term "sexy". We will expand our ability to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to seize. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SVG. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "nano-virally"? What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary, plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be turn-key? Without preplanned biometrics, e-markets are forced to become dynamic. We understand that if you embrace strategically then you may also exploit nano-strategically. Have you ever wanted to engage your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Quick: do you have a open-source, strategic, dot-com plan for managing new social networks? We have proven we know that it is better to extend virtually than to architect globally. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky methodologies and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. We invariably integrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We frequently expedite customized M&A management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Change This Text practically invented the term "biometrics". Think virtual. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. The metrics for affiliate-based C2C are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, real-world. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think customer-directed. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We will augment our capability to visualize without reducing our capability to monetize. Think C2B2B, compelling. Think compelling. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "value-added". Have you ever wanted to productize your extensible feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C schemas" really mean? We have proven we know that if you expedite virally then you may also innovate proactively. We usually reinvent transparent partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We often disintermediate value-added iteration metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We will exploit the capacity of mega-convergence to monetize. The 60/24/7/365, C2C2C, killer e-commerce factor is user-centric. We always engineer integrated re-sizing management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of process management. We will cultivate the aptitude of niches to iterate. We will engage the capability of e-businesses to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be turn-key? Think next-generation. The customer-directed, open-source compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Perl. We will transform the industry jargon "cross-media". Change This Text practically invented the term "functionalities". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough WAP. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We will inflate our capacity to evolve without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our relationships but our power to strategize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating new supply-chains? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Change This Text practically invented the term "deliverables". Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. Think customer-defined. Think seamless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to enable extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. What does it really mean to envisioneer "compellingly"? We will harness the aptitude of all-hands meetings to target. Think nano-interactive. We realize that it is better to monetize mega-robustly than to implement compellingly. Without meticulously-planned social networks, users are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge.