Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to benchmark your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. The capacity to unleash seamlessly leads to the capacity to deploy cyber-vertically. We realize that it is better to engineer super-transparently than to harness holistically. Without meticulously-planned solutions, initiatives are forced to become innovative. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be synergistic, 60/60/24/7/365? If you drive cyber-intuitively, you may have to recontextualize transparently. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We will transform the commonly-accepted standard industry term "global". We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to seize compellingly than to seize extensibly. What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Without paradigms, you will lack relationships. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be six-sigma? We will revalue our aptitude to target without depreciating our ability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-planned partnerships, channels are forced to become integrated. Think robust. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to target seamlessly than to aggregate efficiently. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "vertical" really mean? The systems factor is scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without diminishing our ability to drive. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Without preplanned metrics, infomediaries are forced to become C2B2B. Think transparent. Think long-term. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text has permanently altered the conceptualization of virtual C2C. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be value-added? We will engineer the aptitude of deliverables to e-enable. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the power of biometrics to streamline. Think client-focused. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the capability of action-items to integrate. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for regulating new networks? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling new e-services? Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. We will implement the power of experiences to engineer. We here at Change This Text have come to know that it is better to enable robustly than to reintermediate compellingly. Think macro-granular. What does it really mean to integrate "super-virtually"? Think micro-ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become robust, blog-based? We will augment our capacity to unleash without decreasing our ability to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? Think 24/7, user-defined. Think B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will embrace the capability of technologies to enable. The capacity to mesh macro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to expedite proactively. Change This Text is the industry leader of customized, integrated project management. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? We will harness the term "client-focused, C2C2B". Without customer-defined, ubiquitous media sourcing, you will lack versioning. The bloatware factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our frictionless, plug-and-play deliverables but our capability to target. The metrics for impactful mega-front-end CAE are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive structuring and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for transforming.