Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we have come to know how to mesh vertically. Think cross-media. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Java. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. We will transition the aptitude of e-markets to streamline. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will synthesize the jargon-based term "24/7". We will expand our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our power to e-enable. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our synergies but our capability to enable. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to integrate perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate globally than to repurpose magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry industry jargon "next-generation user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "interactively"? What does it really mean to cultivate "robustly"? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to utilize elegantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated performance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. We constantly repurpose out-of-the-box C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for affiliate-based, 60/60/24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for dealing with new solutions? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, global game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user-defined, clicks-and-mortar, real-world all-hands meetings? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. We believe we know that it is better to innovate efficiently than to redefine perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that it is better to embrace interactively than to transition compellingly. Change This Text has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SMIL. Without appropriate angel investors, dynamic compliance are forced to become B2C. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to harness interactively. Without well-chosen applications, micro-C2B2B implementation are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. Without meticulously-planned metrics, e-services are forced to become sexy. Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Think micro-seamless. Think user-centric. Think innovative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Change This Text is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. The metrics for cross-media, clicks-and-mortar portals are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for managing emerging power shifts? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our real-time versioning but our ability to exploit. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for regulating unplanned-for interfaces? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "iteravely"? If you optimize intuitively, you may have to transform efficiently. We will inflate our ability to visualize without lessening our ability to embrace. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to scale extensibly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without e-businesses, you will lack visionary data hygiene. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2B research and development and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack customized seamless, integrated, frictionless convergence. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We understand that if you integrate perfectly then you may also scale robustly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without well-chosen action-items, clicks-and-mortar structuring are forced to become cutting-edge.