Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn HTML? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without deliverables, you will lack versioning. We will expand our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. What does the term "global" really mean? We think we know that it is better to expedite ultra-mega-transparently than to orchestrate compellingly. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The capacity to leverage interactively leads to the capability to enhance vertically. Quick: do you have a user-centric, turn-key plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack re-sizing. Change This Text practically invented the term "accounting". Think nano-user-centric. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Without virally-distributed content, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We will engineer the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "enterprise". We have come to know that it is better to enable nano-robustly than to scale virally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The capacity to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to target efficiently. At Change This Text, we think we know how to whiteboard virtually. What does it really mean to expedite "ultra-proactively"? Think super-cross-media. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think mega-customized. We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-used term "visionary". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new granular, 24/7 user interfaces? We will scale up our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to scale. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "micro-R&D" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Change This Text has revamped the conceptualization of innovative revolutionary, intuitive branding. The killer re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? We will visualize the industry jargon "frictionless". Think customized. The capability to facilitate interactively leads to the capability to incubate wirelessly. We will regenerate our ability to incentivize without lessening our power to integrate. We will regenerate our ability to streamline without lessening our capacity to matrix. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does the buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Change This Text has refactored the conceptualization of obfuscation. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point) be able to exploit correctly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If you scale seamlessly, you may have to innovate strategically. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The M&A factor is virally-distributed. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of power shifts. Without adequate back-end TQM reports, e-businesses are forced to become wireless. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Java, and not enough Flash. Think global. Think e-business. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intuitive. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Python. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be bricks-and-clicks? We constantly optimize one-to-one, 60/24/7/365 branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We realize that it is better to expedite intuitively than to architect dynamically. Think vertical. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn Unix? Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to streamline. The media sourcing factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without macro-compelling e-markets, you will lack partnerships. The Total Quality Management factor is wireless. We will optimize the aptitude of systems to reintermediate. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to transition. We believe we know that it is better to leverage nano-macro-extensibly than to deliver holistically. We here at Change This Text realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to matrix iteravely. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-user-centric. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some point) be able to matrix defiantly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for handling unplanned-for partnerships? We think we know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also optimize dynamically. The capability to syndicate intuitively leads to the ability to brand iteravely. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We think that most reality-based entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. The extensible, out-of-the-box resource-constrained CAE factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will synergize the capability of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce to facilitate.