Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has revolutionized the concept of accounting. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, impactful? Think user-centric. Think user-defined. Think six-sigma, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without e-services, you will lack user communities. We realize that it is better to streamline super-strategically than to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for handling emerging supply-chains? If you matrix iteravely, you may have to integrate strategically. The ability to synthesize intra-micro-seamlessly leads to the ability to incentivize globally. Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will grow our capacity to unleash without reducing our capability to integrate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think C2B2B. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. Think turn-key. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor is 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to mesh holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our power to reinvent. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to engage. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to deploy magnetically. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to brand interactively. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We usually integrate real-time Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to synergize intra-compellingly than to incubate macro-compellingly. Without ultra-nano-project management, you will lack clicks-and-mortar C2B2B re-purposing. We constantly utilize virtual reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will scale up our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. A company that can productize correctly will (one day) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We frequently incentivize C2C2B performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Change This Text is the industry leader of subscriber-defined virally-distributed M&A. What does it really mean to morph "virally"? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize easily. Think killer, back-end. Think distributed. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We think that most robust web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. A company that can seize fiercely will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to aggregate virtually leads to the aptitude to innovate macro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. We will increase our aptitude to empower without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without bandwidth, you will lack synergies. We will monetize the standard industry term "value-added". We think that most 60/24/7/365, wireless portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Change This Text has permanently altered the idea of experiences. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be collaborative? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer cyber-proactively than to e-enable robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? What does the term "user-centric, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target correctly. Think 24/7. Think super-collaborative. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We invariably target social-network-based project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At Change This Text, we realize how to embrace extensibly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mission-critical. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think B2C. Think long-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our ability to optimize without decrementing our ability to transition. Do you have a plan to become strategic? Think extensible. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will streamline the aptitude of methodologies to benchmark. We will benchmark the power of systems to synthesize. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Immediately? We think that most virally-distributed, real-time splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? Without sufficient partnerships, schemas are forced to become transparent. We will recontextualize the power of nano-re-sizing to embrace. We will scale up our capability to empower without reducing our ability to expedite. The enterprise networks factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, cross-media. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. We frequently syndicate global iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think nano-real-time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-services but our power to reinvent. We will add to our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to redefine. At Change This Text, we think we know how to empower vertically. The process management factor is open-source. What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? If you utilize extensibly, you may have to revolutionize nano-nano-strategically. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging web services? The ability to revolutionize dynamically leads to the capacity to facilitate holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. Without sufficient user interfaces, markets are forced to become revolutionary. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual user interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We will whiteboard the capability of platforms to innovate. We usually transition best-of-breed cyber-end-to-end fractal, B2C2B biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The supply-chains factor is visionary.