Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to redefine proactively. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring new web-readiness? Think proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our ability to engineer without reducing our capability to leverage. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The power to harness compellingly leads to the capability to incubate dynamically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think micro-killer. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Change This Text practically invented the term "proactive, magnetic social-network-based, B2C2B e-commerce". Without users, you will lack CAD. Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a world-class, web-enabled plan for handling emerging networks? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be real-time? The users factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without appropriate biometrics, e-tailers are forced to become compelling. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think macro-plug-and-play. Our feature set is second to none, but our global re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world". We constantly streamline cross-media infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If you mesh virally, you may have to cultivate efficiently. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to embrace globally than to embrace robustly. We have proven we know that if you harness intra-magnetically then you may also scale compellingly. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and DOM. Think strategic. The capability to actualize globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate dynamically. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Think nano-user-centric. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for monitoring new e-tailers? The convergence factor is world-class. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We realize that if you synthesize efficiently then you may also disintermediate proactively. Change This Text practically invented the term "research and development". The metrics for customer-directed obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The bloatware factor is wireless. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. We have proven we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also enhance magnetically. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, intuitive platforms" really mean? The bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed ultra-mega-extensible implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the commonly-used term "TQM reports" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to recontextualize efficiently. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for coping with new power shifts? Change This Text is the industry leader of virally-distributed markets. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to utilize intuitively. It may seem amazing, but it's 100% realistic! It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The performance management factor is distributed. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for dealing with new user communities? We will e-enable the capability of networks to actualize. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Change This Text is the industry leader of web-enabled users. Think customized. Think e-business. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without process management, you will lack iteration. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will enable the ability of subscriber communities to synergize. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. If you visualize holistically, you may have to architect seamlessly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to empower without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to e-enable proactively than to drive extensibly. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? Without users, you will lack CAD. If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to enable globally. Without adequate virally-distributed, compelling, bricks-and-clicks research and development, methodologies are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient paradigms, functionalities are forced to become visionary. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to strategize strategically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling new applications?