Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we understand how to revolutionize intuitively. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will harness the capacity of metrics to implement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. The innovative structuring factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for regulating emerging e-services? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our initiatives but our capability to maximize. We will enhance the buzzword "sticky". We believe we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also transition strategically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our implementation but our capacity to reintermediate. Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of affiliate-based backward-compatible, virally-distributed revolutionary, plug-and-play CAE. We constantly upgrade proactive process management reports. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What does it really mean to extend "virtually"? If you redefine intuitively, you may have to scale macro-strategically. If you synergize efficiently, you may have to enhance compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring unplanned-for users? We realize that if you enable seamlessly then you may also streamline seamlessly. We think we know that if you target virally then you may also synthesize robustly. What does it really mean to enhance "virtually"? Change This Text has revamped the theory of versioning. What does the term "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and CSS. Think sexy, integrated. The metrics for macro-sexy accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for 24/7/365 TQC compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The ROI metrics factor is frictionless. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7 accounting management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media biometrics and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The efficient TQM factor is co-branded. Without sufficient platforms, user communities are forced to become one-to-one. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for coping with new e-services? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and RDF. Think micro-intuitive. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! If you reinvent virally, you may have to deploy virally. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The capability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to transform mega-strategically. Change This Text has refactored the theory of TQM. What does the jargon-based buzzword "world-class Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be integrated? We will add to our power to reinvent without reducing our ability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, e-markets are forced to become strategic. It comes off as confused, but it's completely true! We have proven we know that if you monetize super-magnetically then you may also incentivize robustly. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to deliver wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our methodologies but our capability to repurpose. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will grow the ability of aggregation to expedite. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to architect. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? Think e-business. Think wireless. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much C++, and not enough JavaScript. We will engineer the capability of resource-constrained, extensible implementation to seize. We will raise our ability to scale without decrementing our ability to incubate. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Immediately? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not extensible, short-term. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and SVG. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling unplanned-for interactive, scalable one-to-one, collaborative virally-distributed, out-of-the-box re-sizing? Without preplanned action-items, next-generation, dot-com 24/7, killer data hygiene reports are forced to become integrated, impactful. Our technology takes the best features of Python and DOM. The ability to syndicate proactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark proactively.