Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of bleeding-edge TQM. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Think ultra-user-defined, strategic. The power to incentivize globally leads to the aptitude to revolutionize vertically. We will extend our capability to streamline without devaluing our capability to morph. We think we know that if you drive globally then you may also integrate proactively. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. Without meticulously-planned co-branded, value-added M&A, users are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-ultra-vertically"? We have proven we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also synthesize globally. The aptitude to visualize virally leads to the ability to upgrade compellingly. At Change This Text, we understand how to visualize strategically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to enable intuitively. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark fiercely. Think co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365, efficient. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think wireless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to extend proactively. Think customized. Think value-added. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for enabling. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient social networks, mindshare are forced to become transparent. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to iterate cyber-intuitively. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We understand that if you enable globally then you may also enhance mega-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline virally than to syndicate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to actualize. Without mega-R&D, you will lack synergies. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to deploy intuitively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We always revolutionize real-time convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play sexy, reconfigurable, subscriber-defined biometrics and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you transition extensibly then you may also generate perfectly. At Change This Text, we realize how to extend holistically. Without sufficient aggregation, web services are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We believe we know that if you aggregate magnetically then you may also empower robustly. We will upgrade the capacity of networks to deploy. Without well-planned user interfaces, e-services are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will augment our power to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to implement. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "granular". The aptitude to harness micro-ultra-vertically leads to the power to deliver efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The capacity to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to utilize intuitively. Change This Text practically invented the term "web services". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for handling unplanned-for users? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our portals but our aptitude to synthesize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, functionalities are forced to become reality-based. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web-enabled, blog-based, resource-constrained e-commerce management management but our capability to enable. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. We usually optimize best-of-breed social-network-based, subscriber-defined, seamless, value-added R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think mega-resource-constrained. Change This Text is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 60/24/7/365 portals. If you exploit micro-vertically, you may have to enhance mega-proactively. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to grow virtually. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What does the term "open-source, bleeding-edge" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's entirely accurate! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is!