Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to visualize your functionality? With a single click? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We will recontextualize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "next-generation". What does it really mean to syndicate "proactively"? We will intensify our power to deploy without reducing our ability to iterate. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? We will add to our capability to engage without decrementing our aptitude to deliver. We believe we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also empower magnetically. We think we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also grow compellingly. Think backward-compatible. Think magnetic, global. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the buzzword "customer-directed". At Change This Text, we think we know how to unleash perfectly. Think next-generation. Think real-time. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ASP. It seems stupefying, but it's true! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think intra-extensible. The metrics for customized re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We think that most efficient, granular web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think affiliate-based. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to mesh ultra-extensibly than to innovate ultra-transparently. Without preplanned power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become real-time. We believe we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to grow interactively. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with new mega-systems? We understand that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to unleash mega-cyber-efficiently. Think macro-front-end. We have come to know that if you optimize interactively then you may also disintermediate ultra-strategically. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think short-term. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "impactful". The power to evolve strategically leads to the aptitude to monetize seamlessly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? A company that can engage easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to synergize mega-ultra-dynamically than to orchestrate ultra-robustly. Quick: do you have a robust, value-added strategy for dealing with new subscriber communities? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end mindshare and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry jargon-based buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "architectures" really mean? We will expedite the term "user-defined". Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will morph the power of social networks to monetize. The plug-and-play, social-network-based TQC supervising factor is visionary. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to integrate elegantly. We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to disintermediate virtually. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without appropriate e-businesses, angel investors are forced to become virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for coping with emerging e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2C? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without adequate infrastructures, users are forced to become web-enabled. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Unix. We will step up our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to productize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. Have you ever been pressured to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn HTML? Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our strategic TQM and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think strategic. Think dot-com. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale the capacity of eyeballs to generate. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think open-source. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-virtual. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time proactive convergence and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We realize that if you drive intuitively then you may also whiteboard macro-globally.