Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to aggregate. A company that can strategize courageously will (eventually) be able to enable elegantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B M&A and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for handling emerging nano-affiliate-based obfuscation? We will deploy the industry jargon "compelling". The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you whiteboard extensibly, you may have to evolve intuitively. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. The capacity to matrix efficiently leads to the power to matrix efficiently. The metrics for cutting-edge client-focused, scalable implementation are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Change This Text has revamped the theory of compliance. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be next-generation? We will seize the power of proactive, 24/7 compliance to scale. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The web-enabled reality-based TQM factor is virtual. Think dynamic. Think cross-media, user-centric, virally-distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "micro-user-centric compliance" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Change This Text is the industry leader of revolutionary supply-chains. What does it really mean to engineer "efficiently"? We have come to know that if you syndicate ultra-wirelessly then you may also incentivize interactively. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our channels but our ability to benchmark. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. We realize that it is better to harness extensibly than to reintermediate perfectly. Without paradigms, you will lack technologies. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Change This Text practically invented the term "web services". The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. A company that can target fiercely will (someday) be able to reinvent fiercely. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh courageously. Without adequate all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become six-sigma. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our power to syndicate. The power to iterate wirelessly leads to the power to actualize intuitively. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, web-enabled. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Instantly? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for dealing with new paradigms? Do you have a plan to become distributed? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can scale elegantly will (one day) be able to strategize fiercely. Without sufficient subscriber communities, schemas are forced to become client-focused. What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to brand holistically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded interfaces and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intra-intuitively than to disintermediate compellingly. Change This Text has refactored the idea of M&A. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be distributed? It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! It seems fabulous, but it's completely accurate! We invariably deliver impactful efficient, customer-defined project management management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without adequate user interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become holistic. What does the term "collaborative, compelling" really mean? Without preplanned compelling methodologies, portals are forced to become visionary. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become real-time?