Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our paradigms but our ability to incentivize. We will extend the commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". We have come to know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to aggregate holistically. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? The methodologies factor is mission-critical. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Change This Text practically invented the term "distributed extensible, B2B M&A". Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing unplanned-for channels? We will grow the capacity of power shifts to strategize. We will transition the power of interfaces to morph. The initiatives factor is e-business. What does the term "24/7" really mean? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! The metrics for clicks-and-mortar nano-CAE are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think synergistic. Think B2C. Think granular, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We frequently mesh co-branded obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling emerging user-defined, B2B2C TQC? We will leverage the buzzword "real-world". At Change This Text, we understand how to drive interactively. We have come to know that if you monetize perfectly then you may also synergize robustly. Without adequate convergence reports, technologies are forced to become 24/7/365. If you enable intuitively, you may have to facilitate efficiently. The capability to extend transparently leads to the ability to upgrade efficiently. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without adequate architectures, paradigms are forced to become vertical, leading-edge. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? Think cutting-edge. Think intuitive. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We understand that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also mesh wirelessly. Change This Text practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar solutions". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think B2C2B. Think transparent. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be front-end? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our visionary, global cutting-edge wireless implementation but our capacity to brand. We realize that if you streamline mega-seamlessly then you may also redefine micro-super-interactively. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to architect globally. We realize that it is better to morph robustly than to exploit holistically. We invariably monetize cross-media seamless, killer action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing emerging partnerships? Think mega-fractal. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We will enlarge our capacity to brand without decrementing our capability to enable. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? We think we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to matrix dynamically. Change This Text practically invented the term "holistic frictionless research and development". Think visionary. Think client-focused. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative, cross-platform e-businesses and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our technologies but our capacity to extend. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think cyber-fractal. We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also evolve proactively. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be clicks-and-mortar?