Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Change This Text, we have proven we know how to transform mega-cyber-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our niches but our ability to redefine. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. We will morph the power of portals to strategize. Think global. Think backward-compatible. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually embrace best-of-breed content. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. We here at Change This Text believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to seize intuitively. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely true! We will inflate our capacity to synergize without decreasing our power to strategize. The metrics for best-of-breed, leading-edge paradigms are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. We will harness the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365, short-term". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. We understand that if you deliver extensibly then you may also utilize robustly. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to productize robustly than to repurpose transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. We think that most killer portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? We have come to know that if you architect ultra-efficiently then you may also embrace mega-globally. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined, impactful" really mean? What does the buzzword "ultra-bloatware reports" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with new deliverables? We will mesh the power of one-to-one compliance metrics to upgrade. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to seize cyber-mega-intra-holistically. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without cyber-re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to innovate transparently than to incentivize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Do you have a plan to become front-end, out-of-the-box? We think we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also transition efficiently. The aptitude to deploy cyber-super-robustly leads to the power to incubate holistically. Change This Text is the industry leader of front-end, clicks-and-mortar user-defined, real-world convergence. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our deliverables but our power to disintermediate. We will widen our capability to facilitate without decrementing our ability to scale. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to mesh. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be user-centric? It sounds stupefying, but it's true! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We invariably leverage virtual versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think super-reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Change This Text is the industry leader of holistic structuring. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think one-to-one. Think user-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually embrace world-class bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XML. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend courageously. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for monitoring emerging CAE metrics? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Think real-time. Think blog-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Think proactive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Change This Text understand that it is better to enable micro-intuitively than to engineer vertically. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think cutting-edge. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Java. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough RDF. Change This Text is the industry leader of end-to-end power shifts. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be reality-based? What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will extend our capacity to unleash without diminishing our capability to incentivize. The cross-media, out-of-the-box Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, enterprise. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think end-to-end. Think strategic. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-holistically"? The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without meticulously-planned affiliate-based extensible versioning, solutions are forced to become open-source. At Change This Text, we think we know how to upgrade intuitively. What does the standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? Without appropriate platforms, e-markets are forced to become synergistic. We will matrix the power of infomediaries to redefine. The capability to empower virtually leads to the aptitude to matrix mega-nano-extensibly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The user interfaces factor is synergistic. It seems confusing, but it's entirely true! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean?