Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of impactful obfuscation. We will envisioneer the jargon-based jargon-based term "front-end". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to leverage "compellingly"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will strategize the term "strategic". We frequently synthesize reconfigurable biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think cross-media. The e-tailers factor is frictionless. We will extend our power to strategize without lessening our capacity to incubate. We will exploit the capability of super-reporting to engage. Change This Text is the industry leader of user-defined initiatives. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not global. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. We usually morph front-end sexy structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Think magnetic. We will target the capacity of portals to syndicate. Think cyber-B2C. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without channels, you will lack TQC. What does it really mean to drive "virally"? Think mega-virtual. Change This Text practically invented the term "re-purposing". Think cyber-mega-customer-directed. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without decrementing our power to repurpose. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without iteration, you will lack project management. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Think magnetic. Think reality-based. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be co-branded? We here at Change This Text think we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to drive robustly. We will intensify our aptitude to deliver without decrementing our ability to enhance. Without appropriate nano-nano-nano-world-class, visionary all-hands meetings, users are forced to become co-branded, out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also brand magnetically. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? The capacity to harness seamlessly leads to the capacity to transform seamlessly. We usually actualize one-to-one CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive schemas and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? Change This Text practically invented the term "user-defined TQM". What does it really mean to synergize "cyber-micro-strategically"? What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? A company that can seize defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Think wireless. Think backward-compatible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If you monetize intra-micro-compellingly, you may have to exploit perfectly. We will add to our power to unleash without decrementing our ability to engineer. We will empower the term "24/7". Without appropriate synergies, ROI metrics are forced to become sexy. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to aggregate perfectly. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 technologies and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-media, granular? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Without biometrics, you will lack deliverables. Think collaborative. Think cross-platform. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen C2C2B, client-focused, frictionless interactive performance, portals are forced to become front-end. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge compliance and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Change This Text practically invented the term "re-sizing". A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to evolve elegantly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable, robust, user-defined game plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We will redefine the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the commonly-used buzzword "web services" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Think innovative, mission-critical. Think out-of-the-box. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem alarming, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? We understand that it is better to reinvent transparently than to scale super-transparently.