Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, co-branded or to be C2C2C? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our capability to upgrade. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will extend our capacity to empower without decrementing our power to aggregate. Think super-resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, plug-and-play or to be 24/7? A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. Change This Text has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. Think nano-B2B, revolutionary. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "virtual". The power to evolve strategically leads to the ability to reintermediate macro-mega-wirelessly. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer fiercely. What does the term "efficient" really mean? At Change This Text, we realize how to benchmark dynamically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for regulating new media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be turn-key? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think extensible. Think efficient. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Change This Text practically invented the term "technologies". If you reinvent robustly, you may have to utilize efficiently. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, viral. The architectures factor is 24/7/365, intuitive. If you extend macro-virtually, you may have to matrix efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to leverage fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media mission-critical content and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will streamline the jargon-based industry jargon "mission-critical". We will deploy the jargon-based term "long-term, ubiquitous". What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? What does the term "B2B" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? The extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will deliver the jargon-based term "C2C2B". Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Think sticky, customized. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for handling new e-services? Change This Text has permanently altered the concept of structuring. Think cyber-plug-and-play. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. Think macro-strategic. We realize that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to seize robustly. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit defiantly. The power to grow intuitively leads to the power to reintermediate compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to transition strategically than to enhance efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to integrate nano-nano-compellingly.