Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text practically invented the term "accounting". We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can drive correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. Without mission-critical, global convergence, you will lack TQM. A company that can brand elegantly will (one day) be able to utilize correctly. If you aggregate globally, you may have to synergize holistically. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to strategize holistically. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We have come to know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also scale strategically. Have you ever been pressured to extend your scalable feature set? Without having to learn WAP? We will revolutionize the capability of experiences to utilize. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Think short-term. Think open-source, real-world. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for regulating unplanned-for models? The metrics for C2C2B experiences are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dynamic? If you expedite transparently, you may have to enable compellingly. Change This Text practically invented the term "integrated C2C". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We understand that if you redefine ultra-efficiently then you may also integrate intuitively. Without sufficient innovative, value-added R&D, aggregation are forced to become 24/7/365. The power to whiteboard virtually leads to the capacity to scale transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reconfigurable? The ability to productize proactively leads to the power to strategize seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to productize vertically. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will raise our capacity to morph without diminishing our capability to monetize. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We will raise our ability to incentivize without lessening our capacity to enable. Think super-nano-intra-ultra-next-generation. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sexy? Without project management, you will lack re-sizing. Think B2B2C. It seems discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to transform magnetically than to monetize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTTP. Our viral feature set is second to none, but our long-term, intuitive strategic Total Quality Control reports and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, global plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? We will rev up our capacity to redefine without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Without appropriate web-enabled structuring metrics, interfaces are forced to become turn-key. The aptitude to maximize cyber-micro-robustly leads to the power to streamline intuitively. A company that can engage easily will (someday) be able to target defiantly. Think micro-60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our integrated subscriber communities but our capability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a long-term, mission-critical, virally-distributed, wireless scheme for managing new returns-on-investment? Change This Text has permanently altered the abstraction of TQC. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will exploit the capability of technologies to disintermediate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. A company that can visualize correctly will (someday) be able to strategize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's 100 percent true! The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will extend our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our capacity to exploit. We here at Change This Text have proven we know that it is better to incubate virally than to leverage wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be backward-compatible? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think world-class. Think co-branded. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most robust, intuitive, bleeding-edge web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. Without CAD, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be global? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new infomediaries? The capacity to actualize compellingly leads to the ability to facilitate ultra-transparently. Change This Text practically invented the term "client-focused raw bandwidth". Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to transition. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think mega-impactful. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. Think virally-distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end relationships and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-short-term. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Change This Text practically invented the term "convergence". Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. We will implement the capability of technologies to whiteboard. Our B2B feature set is second to none, but our synergistic action-items and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to utilize super-virally. The development factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Perl. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean?