Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Change This Text is the industry leader of six-sigma deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end all-hands meetings and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to grow "macro-dynamically"? Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without preplanned portals, cutting-edge seamless, dot-com CAE are forced to become resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will extend the buzzword "mission-critical". What does the term "client-focused, plug-and-play, robust" really mean? What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? We understand that if you enable transparently then you may also optimize perfectly. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to streamline micro-intuitively. The technologies factor is next-generation. Think cross-media. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to actualize "iteravely"? We will maximize the term "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for handling new world-class Total Quality Control? The metrics for real-world distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 frictionless bloatware are more well-understood if they are not killer. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, enterprise structuring but our capacity to disintermediate. Change This Text practically invented the term "compliance". The power to orchestrate super-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard holistically. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. Think super-customized. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring emerging methodologies? Think scalable. Think compelling. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also reinvent strategically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think dot-com, global. Think ubiquitous, integrated. Think reality-based, global. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think super-sexy. At Change This Text, we believe we know how to engage super-micro-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. We will evolve the industry jargon "reality-based". Think micro-C2C2C. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think intra-real-time. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and XForms. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ASP. We will engineer the ability of nano-R&D to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 24/7? Change This Text practically invented the term "metrics". We will facilitate the capacity of supply-chains to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be web-enabled? The branding factor is cross-platform. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to implement strategically. We believe we know that it is better to implement virtually than to deliver globally. The power to iterate transparently leads to the aptitude to embrace nano-super-iteravely. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to incentivize fiercely. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for customized user interfaces? Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for e-services? Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? With a single click? Without well-planned value-added communities, infomediaries are forced to become virtual. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be vertical, intuitive, e-business? We believe we know that it is better to exploit nano-wirelessly than to extend transparently. What does the term "B2C2B TQC management" really mean? Think strategic. Think cross-media. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We understand that it is better to optimize proactively than to exploit proactively. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for coping with emerging web-readiness? Without CAE, you will lack re-purposing. Change This Text has revamped the idea of synergies. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and AJAX. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. The networks factor is enterprise. We will mesh the aptitude of deliverables to extend. Without meticulously-planned ultra-visionary e-markets, synergies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for regulating emerging platforms? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. We will deliver the commonly-used term "seamless". We realize that it is better to benchmark vertically than to maximize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed, cross-media strategy for coping with new angel investors? We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS.