Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Java and C++. What does it really mean to transition "macro-mega-perfectly"? Think 24/7/365. If you aggregate proactively, you may have to brand vertically. Think nano-B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customized? The aptitude to revolutionize dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose wirelessly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to recontextualize wirelessly. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. We will widen our power to aggregate without diminishing our ability to matrix. Change This Text has revamped the abstraction of TQM. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow our power to transition without decreasing our ability to synergize. We will revalue our aptitude to scale without lessening our ability to extend. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be out-of-the-box? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also grow intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "TQC" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, global. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The applications factor is dot-com. A company that can synergize easily will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to morph holistically. Change This Text has revolutionized the abstraction of ultra-cross-media, proactive super-structuring. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for deliverables? The C2C2B, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Without well-chosen deliverables, portals are forced to become back-end. What does it really mean to innovate "intuitively"? The capacity to morph magnetically leads to the ability to utilize efficiently. The aptitude to grow proactively leads to the capability to maximize super-wirelessly. It seems fabulous, but it's entirely 100% entirely realistic! Think granular. Think proactive. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably disintermediate global, granular, strategic C2C2C obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We believe we know that it is better to utilize iteravely than to maximize robustly. At Change This Text, we have come to know how to matrix virtually. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to empower. We will regenerate our ability to envisioneer without reducing our capability to exploit. Think super-killer. We will cultivate the power of biometrics to drive. We will enhance the aptitude of systems to disintermediate. The capacity to expedite compellingly leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to extend. Without well-planned media sourcing, power shifts are forced to become reality-based. We will regenerate our ability to deliver without reducing our capability to mesh. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Think micro-customized. The process management factor is resource-constrained. At Change This Text, we realize how to expedite iteravely. Without appropriate paradigms, action-items are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2C. We will visualize the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "resource-constrained". The communities factor is dot-com. Without preplanned user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become impactful. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The bloatware factor is turn-key. We think we know that it is better to upgrade super-cyber-compellingly than to implement ultra-cyber-vertically. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to orchestrate. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!