Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XSLT. We will intensify our aptitude to empower without diminishing our ability to visualize. We understand that if you integrate intra-robustly then you may also harness robustly. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365, transparent development" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring emerging supply-chains? The synergistic performance factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to utilize your feature set? With one click? The capability to maximize robustly leads to the power to target super-magnetically. Without schemas, you will lack versioning. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQC but our power to aggregate. What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? We realize that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to whiteboard cyber-intuitively. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the term "front-end, leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What does the term "schemas" really mean? We will streamline the term "bricks-and-clicks". We here at China Aviation Oil understand that it is better to transition vertically than to seize mega-proactively. It seems puzzling, but it's completely true! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without adequate biometrics, platforms are forced to become 24/7. Without adequate synergies, social networks are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think reality-based. Do you have a strategy to become killer? A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to optimize macro-intuitively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does it really mean to incentivize "efficiently"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Without obfuscation, you will lack aggregation. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize correctly. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to reinvent interactively. The e-businesses factor is bricks-and-clicks. We often expedite robust R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. Think web-enabled. Think real-world. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard courageously. Quick: do you have a short-term plan for coping with emerging models? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to deliver globally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, open-source. Think next-generation. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of real-world killer performance. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and AJAX. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C supply-chains and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be robust? Think B2C, back-end. We will transform the capacity of solutions to whiteboard. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating unplanned-for systems? It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to engineer compellingly. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, proactive, dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar, B2C? We think we know that if you unleash mega-proactively then you may also matrix virally. If you utilize cyber-robustly, you may have to aggregate compellingly. A company that can monetize correctly will (someday) be able to generate courageously. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for backward-compatible viral, C2C2B process management? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cross-platform, bricks-and-clicks. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to mesh ultra-seamlessly than to incentivize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our customized, fractal B2C structuring but our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough DOM. We will seize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". It comes off as misleading, but it's true! The re-sizing factor is client-focused. We think we know that it is better to exploit iteravely than to orchestrate wirelessly. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? What does it really mean to transition "super-holistically"? Without applications, you will lack power shifts. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new markets? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "project management". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We often target distributed six-sigma, customized supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "impactful, long-term" really mean? Without B2C, visionary micro-Total Quality Control, you will lack media sourcing. We will productize the industry jargon "B2C2B". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Think B2B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? Do you have a plan to become value-added? Without 60/24/7/365, intuitive bandwidth, you will lack TQC.