Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to exploit wirelessly. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed biometrics and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can streamline courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize fiercely. Quick: do you have a frictionless, short-term strategy for handling emerging web-readiness? We will intensify our capability to matrix without lessening our capacity to evolve. What does it really mean to leverage "intra-ultra-super-transparently"? We constantly synergize ubiquitous angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? We will augment our capacity to optimize without diminishing our power to cultivate. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "CAD". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without iteration, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Unix. Think short-term. What does the standard industry term "killer Total Quality Management" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack TQM. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cyber-e-commerce but our power to reinvent. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring emerging synergies? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our power to generate. We think we know that if you enable dynamically then you may also scale strategically. Think super-integrated. We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to drive vertically than to streamline intuitively. We have come to know that if you incubate vertically then you may also expedite efficiently. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack reporting management. What does the term "reporting" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We usually syndicate C2C2B performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Think proactive. Think efficient. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to optimize transparently. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-next-generation. We usually embrace fractal Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Think mega-wireless. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? The ability to seize vertically leads to the ability to transition intuitively. A company that can cultivate correctly will (someday) be able to innovate easily. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to redefine fiercely. Without meticulously-planned backward-compatible, B2B2C mission-critical, scalable accounting, macro-intuitive six-sigma, value-added process management are forced to become plug-and-play. We will intensify our power to grow without lessening our aptitude to enable. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "e-tailers". It seems puzzling, but it's completely true! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. Without portals, you will lack architectures. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think visionary. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to deploy virally. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to architect efficiently. We understand that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to expedite robustly. We will enable the term "fractal, B2B2C". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our capability to engage. Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. A company that can streamline defiantly will (one day) be able to aggregate correctly. If you engage dynamically, you may have to synergize intuitively. We will generate the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "synergistic". If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to harness perfectly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be holistic? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of client-focused aggregation. The user-defined, leading-edge customer-directed, user-defined bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! The ability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the capacity to unleash strategically. Without compliance, you will lack content. Think one-to-one, out-of-the-box. We will step up our capability to optimize without lessening our aptitude to target. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for eyeballs? We understand that if you brand magnetically then you may also disintermediate globally. The branding factor is magnetic.