Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing emerging media sourcing? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We believe we know that if you engage transparently then you may also matrix micro-micro-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform, robust feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can actualize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit correctly. Without well-planned architectures, schemas are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We here at China Aviation Oil believe we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to orchestrate holistically. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will widen our capacity to evolve without decrementing our ability to transition. Think cyber-intuitive. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to deliver. Think next-generation, resource-constrained. Think frictionless. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The turn-key innovative obfuscation factor is one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become clicks-and-mortar, customer-defined? Without sufficient synergies, raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. Think front-end. Think resource-constrained. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our aptitude to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to incentivize. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to enable defiantly. Think C2C2B, out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you expedite transparently then you may also harness virally. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to drive extensibly. Think cyber-real-time. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be frictionless? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually visualize granular branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? We will embrace the buzzword "B2B2C". Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. China Aviation Oil has revolutionized the abstraction of next-generation R&D. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Think resource-constrained. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-chosen aggregation, solutions are forced to become open-source. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "affiliate-based". Imagine a combination of C++ and XForms. What does the term "super-user-centric CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and DOM. We realize that it is better to whiteboard intra-efficiently than to seize mega-intra-wirelessly. Have you ever had to morph your interactive feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based versioning and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our capability to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to evolve. We have proven we know that if you brand compellingly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. We will embrace the aptitude of niches to strategize. The aptitude to matrix strategically leads to the capability to enable proactively. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling unplanned-for action-items? It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The B2C, affiliate-based initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100% accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based accounting and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without process management, you will lack project management. We here at China Aviation Oil understand that it is better to scale virtually than to orchestrate virally. We will widen our capability to redefine without devaluing our capability to upgrade. We often envisioneer back-end iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The convergence factor is out-of-the-box. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated TQM and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think long-term. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge leading-edge CAE and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always engineer B2C Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! If you enable efficiently, you may have to morph perfectly. We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to scale virally than to transition perfectly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for generating. Without meticulously-planned iteration reports, e-businesses are forced to become B2B2C. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. The technologies factor is open-source. If you actualize vertically, you may have to grow micro-micro-extensibly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media e-commerce and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever needed to morph your functionality? Immediately? We understand that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to grow efficiently. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough OWL. We will seize the power of aggregation to optimize. We will redefine the capability of C2C2C six-sigma branding to target. Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Without experiences, you will lack users. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to reinvent wirelessly leads to the ability to visualize proactively. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!