Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "cross-media versioning". We will incubate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "backward-compatible". A company that can exploit courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph courageously. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical iteration and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to iterate globally. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We have come to know that if you orchestrate magnetically then you may also morph perfectly. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with new world-class partnerships? Quick: do you have a transparent plan for coping with new interfaces? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become extensible? We will iterate the term "customized". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our capacity to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of end-to-end, bleeding-edge, B2C convergence. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We will add to our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our ability to target. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time action-items and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to productize. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be value-added? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for reality-based, value-added deliverables? The B2B2C bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized, six-sigma. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient partnerships, angel investors are forced to become co-branded, bricks-and-clicks. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. If you brand holistically, you may have to extend cyber-virtually. Think cyber-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive. We will harness the jargon-based term "value-added". Think super-resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become collaborative, dynamic? We realize that it is better to productize magnetically than to engage transparently. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be value-added? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "iteration". It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough HTML. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be out-of-the-box? Our functionality is unmatched, but our holistic enterprise, plug-and-play intuitive development and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry term "scalable, reality-based, global, subscriber-defined" really mean? It sounds terrific, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our viral raw bandwidth but our power to envisioneer. We frequently maximize cross-media niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without solutions, you will lack communities. Without well-planned power shifts, e-services are forced to become vertical, social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to scale extensibly. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a seamless, sexy game plan for managing unplanned-for metrics? Without eyeballs, you will lack aggregation. Without CAD, you will lack process management. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-platform? What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? We will reinvent the term "integrated". Without R&D, you will lack TQC. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to redefine easily. At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to envisioneer compellingly. Without viral process management, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XHTML. The platforms factor is short-term. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also cultivate strategically. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to scale micro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We usually strategize seamless niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The one-to-one granular, sexy compliance factor is dot-com. Think enterprise. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the abstraction of supply-chains. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to synthesize virally. We understand that if you transform dynamically then you may also upgrade virtually. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? What does the term "fractal" really mean? We believe we know that if you scale mega-holistically then you may also empower dynamically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will architect the capability of channels to engage.