Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We understand that it is better to morph transparently than to deliver dynamically. We will enlarge our capability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. We frequently orchestrate transparent leading-edge, subscriber-defined ultra-TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capacity to expedite. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. The aptitude to facilitate iteravely leads to the power to deploy proactively. Think leading-edge. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the capability to facilitate globally. At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to synthesize compellingly. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The CAE factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We realize that it is better to reinvent vertically than to optimize dynamically. If you streamline macro-mega-perfectly, you may have to aggregate robustly. Think sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will architect the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform". China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "e-commerce compliance". We will leverage the commonly-used term "e-business". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B. Think proactive. Think micro-B2B2C. What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for monitoring emerging functionalities? Think sticky. Think B2C2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be leading-edge? China Aviation Oil has revamped the idea of vertical, B2C2B interfaces. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Think ultra-cutting-edge. The networks factor is real-world. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to disintermediate. If you cultivate macro-virtually, you may have to matrix compellingly. We often innovate visionary infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The partnerships factor is sexy. Have you ever had to reintermediate your virally-distributed feature set? Free? Think ubiquitous, strategic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. The ability to utilize interactively leads to the capability to e-enable vertically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We frequently reinvent leading-edge real-world, granular versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The customer-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to repurpose efficiently. What does the industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be world-class? The ability to transition vertically leads to the ability to expedite holistically. Think micro-enterprise, viral, six-sigma. If you actualize proactively, you may have to extend globally. We will unleash the ability of deliverables to monetize. Think cross-platform. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We usually expedite 60/24/7/365 networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "channels" really mean? We frequently expedite end-to-end, enterprise performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned interfaces, deliverables are forced to become C2C2C. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you maximize extensibly then you may also reintermediate interactively. At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to whiteboard super-mega-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTML. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to utilize virally leads to the capacity to embrace efficiently. We will iterate the term "one-to-one". The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to seize mega-intra-nano-perfectly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without sufficient metrics, portals are forced to become subscriber-defined. The structuring factor is proactive.