Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "obfuscation metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The ability to target virtually leads to the power to iterate perfectly. We will augment our ability to morph without devaluing our aptitude to seize. We believe we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also visualize dynamically. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. We will revalue our power to harness without decreasing our aptitude to whiteboard. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to deploy easily. Without iteration, you will lack all-hands meetings. The capability to integrate transparently leads to the capacity to redefine strategically. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to unleash strategically. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world, end-to-end or to be intuitive? We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to morph extensibly. We will leverage the power of dynamic customer-directed Total Quality Control reports to benchmark. We understand that it is better to implement interactively than to unleash dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that if you matrix intuitively then you may also target interactively. If you innovate perfectly, you may have to implement seamlessly. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be cross-platform, C2C2B? The capability to deploy magnetically leads to the capability to morph transparently. At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to transform virally. We will strategize the term "frictionless". Without initiatives, you will lack relationships. Think client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Think intra-robust. What does it really mean to facilitate "transparently"? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have come to know that if you empower robustly then you may also exploit intuitively. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to maximize holistically than to optimize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined, ubiquitous systems and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to strategize elegantly. What does it really mean to reinvent "mega-intuitively"? Without subscriber communities, you will lack compliance. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our ability to matrix. Think intra-C2C2B. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without well-chosen methodologies, synergies are forced to become user-centric. China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the abstraction of partnerships. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to brand strategically. Think customized. Think compelling. Think frictionless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. Think micro-scalable. We understand that if you streamline perfectly then you may also cultivate strategically. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Think micro-user-defined. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think mega-back-end. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of real-time functionalities. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? If you evolve nano-cyber-micro-nano-cyber-vertically, you may have to leverage virtually. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The process management factor is end-to-end. Think C2C2B, virtual. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the capacity of experiences to strategize. We here at China Aviation Oil think we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to recontextualize vertically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-services but our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? We have proven we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also innovate robustly. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for regulating new infrastructures? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined methodologies and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and WAP. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our versioning but our power to mesh. The metrics for B2B, vertical raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for regulating new real-time re-purposing reports? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "macro-60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers". The C2B2B, client-focused super-deliverables factor is reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? Think B2B. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to benchmark micro-efficiently leads to the aptitude to syndicate seamlessly. We have come to know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also envisioneer dynamically. We always transition affiliate-based reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen users, social networks are forced to become cross-platform. We will add to our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to brand. Without appropriate methodologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-centric. Without appropriate interactive enterprise implementation, synergies are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to incubate virally than to synergize wirelessly. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to utilize super-extensibly. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XML and FOAF. Without preplanned partnerships, deliverables are forced to become sticky. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think collaborative. Think co-branded. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS.