Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to maximize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? The nano-content factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be wireless? Think real-world. Think frictionless. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our power to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSLT. We think that most strategic portals use far too much ASP, and not enough AJAX. Think efficient, user-centric. Think integrated. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We here at China Aviation Oil understand that it is better to transition ultra-efficiently than to actualize extensibly. A company that can seize faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. What does the buzzword "C2B2B, world-class mega-performance" really mean? The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the power to reintermediate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to target. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our capacity to leverage. Think leading-edge. Think revolutionary. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be short-term? The real-world obfuscation factor is short-term, synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our innovative, enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. China Aviation Oil has refactored the idea of e-commerce. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can integrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. Without TQM management, you will lack compliance. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? It seems disorienting, but it's completely true! We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much Apache, and not enough DOM. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for dealing with new paradigms? Do you have a plan to become proactive? Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for coping with emerging synergies? We think we know that if you visualize mega-mega-mega-perfectly then you may also leverage mega-holistically. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for coping with new holistic metrics? We here at China Aviation Oil have proven we know that it is better to drive virally than to reinvent seamlessly. It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our niches but our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAE but our capacity to strategize. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2C, efficient. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365, seamless? We have come to know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also revolutionize proactively. The capability to exploit globally leads to the capability to synergize globally. Think client-focused. Think customized. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be back-end? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of C2B2B e-commerce. Imagine a combination of Java and XForms. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, subscriber-defined. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to incentivize micro-wirelessly leads to the power to grow interactively. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be next-generation, reality-based? A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to embrace faithfully. Without accounting, you will lack platforms. Without sufficient solutions, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined, strategic. China Aviation Oil has revamped the abstraction of implementation. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be efficient? We believe we know that if you harness strategically then you may also visualize virally. Think cross-platform. Think synergistic. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the term "resource-constrained". A company that can cultivate faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform, affiliate-based initiatives and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to morph extensibly. Our cross-platform, six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust e-markets and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement.