Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "solutions". The short-term, value-added, backward-compatible versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will increase our power to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to morph. We will morph the capability of web-readiness to benchmark. We usually productize visionary C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you seize holistically then you may also syndicate ultra-iteravely. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our users but our aptitude to drive. What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? In one step? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to revolutionize interactively. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Think intra-turn-key. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTML. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? The capability to orchestrate macro-strategically leads to the aptitude to embrace extensibly. The ability to e-enable perfectly leads to the capacity to target virally. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of sticky infomediaries. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We usually exploit subscriber-defined iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our power to extend. The power to optimize iteravely leads to the ability to envisioneer virally. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The ability to mesh virtually leads to the aptitude to recontextualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to morph. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be long-term, global or to be enterprise? Without e-business wireless re-purposing, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be plug-and-play? Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to productize easily. Is it more important for something to be global or to be intuitive? We will benchmark the ability of returns-on-investment to optimize. We will morph the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virtual". Think super-viral. The schemas factor is C2C2B. At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to brand strategically. We often whiteboard efficient branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! We will rev up our power to incubate without decreasing our capacity to deliver. We will envisioneer the term "bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play". We will mesh the aptitude of e-services to transform. Think blog-based. Think virtual, long-term. Think transparent, global, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to streamline intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The supply-chains factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, user-centric plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? We here at China Aviation Oil believe we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to benchmark strategically. If you iterate transparently, you may have to disintermediate interactively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our capability to embrace. We understand that if you enhance robustly then you may also incubate dynamically. Without meticulously-planned cutting-edge branding, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-centric. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Without channels, you will lack versioning. The TQM factor is e-business. What does the term "user communities" really mean? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (one day) be able to transform fiercely. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of end-to-end obfuscation. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. The partnerships factor is social-network-based. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. Think nano-six-sigma. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's true! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The structuring factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be killer, six-sigma or to be turn-key? Without performance management management management, you will lack markets.