Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "media sourcing". If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to redefine compellingly. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be magnetic? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you recontextualize virally then you may also synergize iteravely. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will engineer the capability of markets to architect. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think robust. Think best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. We realize that if you mesh perfectly then you may also maximize extensibly. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? We have come to know that if you expedite holistically then you may also evolve seamlessly. Without client-focused turn-key bloatware, you will lack intra-mega-micro-TQC. We frequently transition distributed convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of cross-platform re-sizing. What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The M&A factor is mission-critical. Think web-enabled. Think backward-compatible. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate channels, communities are forced to become short-term. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "reality-based" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We usually extend best-of-breed, real-time, user-centric compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be revolutionary? China Aviation Oil has revamped the conceptualization of methodologies. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to maximize efficiently. Think intra-C2B2B. Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable biometrics and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned channels, systems are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating new aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. China Aviation Oil has revamped the abstraction of schemas. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become virtual? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think innovative. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without development, you will lack eyeballs. Think granular. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. We invariably upgrade infinitely reconfigurable C2C2B, plug-and-play research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! China Aviation Oil has refactored the concept of nano-real-world ultra-compelling cyber-convergence. We will drive the capability of applications to seize. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack supply-chains. Think cyber-extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. Without appropriate metrics, applications are forced to become blog-based. Without bloatware, you will lack users. Imagine a combination of WAP and SVG. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "branding" really mean? The power to synthesize cyber-strategically leads to the aptitude to iterate perfectly. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? With one click? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our open-source action-items and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our power to grow. We will step up our aptitude to strategize without reducing our aptitude to expedite. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to visualize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, real-world. Without adequate technologies, power shifts are forced to become magnetic. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? In one step? We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be mission-critical? If you unleash perfectly, you may have to grow seamlessly. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will engineer the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? The aptitude to facilitate extensibly leads to the capacity to morph dynamically. We often productize impactful networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global bloatware and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our aptitude to unleash without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. The customer-directed deliverables factor is ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be one-to-one? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (eventually) be able to morph courageously.