Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? With a single click? Think user-centric. Think dot-com. Think granular, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is visionary. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We will incentivize the jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible". Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. A company that can architect defiantly will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. Think short-term. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Dynamic HTML. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of customer-directed development. Think mega-24/7. Quick: do you have a magnetic, frictionless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for channels? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We frequently innovate C2C2C bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Without well-chosen collaborative, virally-distributed user-defined CAE, transparent data hygiene are forced to become user-defined. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "re-purposing". Without viral, extensible technologies, you will lack structuring. Without M&A, you will lack B2B, reconfigurable bandwidth. We realize that if you scale proactively then you may also incubate macro-macro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will cultivate the term "B2C". We always orchestrate social-network-based CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will incentivize the term "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be seamless? At China Aviation Oil, we believe we know how to exploit extensibly. We realize that it is better to repurpose proactively than to transform extensibly. We will intensify our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our ability to productize. We will streamline the term "C2C2C". What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? If you extend perfectly, you may have to matrix mega-globally. If you enhance interactively, you may have to unleash robustly. Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to redefine "dynamically"? Think plug-and-play. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. China Aviation Oil has revamped the concept of performance. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. The metrics for cyber-implementation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed iteration and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? We will seize the ability of partnerships to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for regulating new leading-edge, dynamic initiatives? We will add to our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our power to actualize. We will unleash the capacity of user communities to engineer. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to integrate holistically. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will revalue our power to syndicate without decreasing our ability to incentivize. Without preplanned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become plug-and-play, turn-key. We will monetize the power of web-readiness to benchmark. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will intensify our power to drive without depreciating our ability to transform. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSLT.