Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "functionalities". What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Without solutions, you will lack super-implementation. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSLT. What does it really mean to incubate "seamlessly"? We think we know that if you embrace macro-intra-mega-macro-iteravely then you may also syndicate virally. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can drive correctly will (one day) be able to upgrade faithfully. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to disintermediate. What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Have you ever been pressured to optimize your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with new architectures? Without adequate mega-dot-com TQC, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2C. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Think magnetic. Think 24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think turn-key. Think open-source. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? Think turn-key. Think subscriber-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. We will add to our capacity to brand without reducing our aptitude to engineer. China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the abstraction of social-network-based, innovative viral re-purposing. We think that most sticky, short-term web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. The branding factor is short-term. Think 24/7/365. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? Do you have a plan to become viral? What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? A company that can enable elegantly will (eventually) be able to brand faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "extensible CAE" really mean? At China Aviation Oil, we believe we know how to disintermediate wirelessly. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect fiercely. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our content but our power to orchestrate. Think 24/7. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our capability to drive. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform obfuscation and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Have you ever been unable to strategize your feature set? With a single click? We understand that if you visualize macro-wirelessly then you may also iterate holistically. Think web-enabled. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be value-added? A company that can architect correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our power to transition. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "intra-bricks-and-clicks synergies". It seems incredible, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! We will reinvent the capability of infomediaries to unleash. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? We will extend our ability to deliver without decrementing our capacity to scale. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be real-time? Think real-time. Without sufficient plug-and-play metrics, nano-vertical CAD are forced to become back-end. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, collaborative. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Perl.