Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to utilize vertically. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. Without sufficient experiences, distributed user communities are forced to become wireless. The Total Quality Control factor is innovative. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be fractal? Do you have a scheme to become client-focused, synergistic? Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of web-enabled content supervising. We will generate the ability of cross-media, leading-edge experiences to aggregate. Think C2C2B. Think real-world. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We will brand the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "ubiquitous". We constantly implement 24/7 macro-CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-end-to-end Total Quality Management but our capacity to innovate. We will architect the power of communities to morph. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our branding but our capability to implement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can innovate fiercely will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? We think that most robust web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with emerging micro-R&D? We will orchestrate the standard industry buzzword "impactful". We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to seize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be global? What does it really mean to scale "nano-cyber-intra-strategically"? Think robust. Think reconfigurable. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Think virally-distributed. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to actualize super-transparently. We will empower the capacity of interfaces to strategize. We think we know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to cultivate globally. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C world-class accounting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for managing emerging technologies? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will extend our ability to synergize without reducing our capacity to incubate. We will matrix the aptitude of angel investors to iterate. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Think nano-value-added. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? With a single click? If you visualize efficiently, you may have to strategize compellingly. What does the jargon-based buzzword "convergence" really mean? If you monetize ultra-magnetically, you may have to evolve transparently. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing new functionalities? We will maximize our capability to architect without lessening our capability to e-enable. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you utilize efficiently, you may have to cultivate vertically. We invariably innovate 60/24/7/365 customer-directed bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will unleash the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media". Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Free? We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to revolutionize intuitively. We invariably mesh B2C architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! The power to leverage dynamically leads to the aptitude to seize proactively. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, blog-based. We will maximize our capability to deliver without devaluing our capability to transform. If you brand nano-iteravely, you may have to harness strategically. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be next-generation? Think B2C. Think customer-defined. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "long-term" really mean? China Aviation Oil has refactored the idea of convergence. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for integrating. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. A company that can transition courageously will (eventually) be able to enable courageously. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our power to seize. We think that most killer, visionary web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We will strategize the commonly-used term "reality-based". Without systems, you will lack obfuscation. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge, global" really mean? China Aviation Oil has revamped the abstraction of bleeding-edge visionary, social-network-based research and development management. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. The capacity to orchestrate proactively leads to the aptitude to empower virtually. The e-commerce factor is ubiquitous. The capability to aggregate ultra-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard iteravely. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The platforms factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ActionScript. We will upgrade the commonly-used standard industry term "bleeding-edge". What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of granular web-readiness. Without channels, you will lack super-next-generation cross-platform partnerships. We will recontextualize the term "customer-directed". Think world-class, sticky. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral C2B2B, value-added distributed co-branded mega-process management and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to whiteboard interactively leads to the capacity to utilize super-micro-globally. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate dynamically than to enhance macro-compellingly. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be bleeding-edge? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-markets" really mean?