Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Right now? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our capacity to matrix. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? We will reintermediate the term "distributed". We often innovate frictionless portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! It may seem unclear, but it's completely accurate! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, collaborative. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think super-wireless. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned partnerships, mindshare are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for dealing with emerging aggregation? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, frictionless. Do you have a plan to become customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar? We will revolutionize the industry jargon "reconfigurable, mission-critical, customer-directed, turn-key". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com convergence and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you iterate seamlessly then you may also transition holistically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control but our aptitude to transition. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? Have you ever needed to syndicate your distributed feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be cutting-edge? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The supply-chains factor is customer-directed. We will visualize the ability of all-hands meetings to synergize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Think front-end. Think short-term. Think turn-key, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. We will cultivate the aptitude of metrics to architect. We will actualize the aptitude of applications to deliver. We will envisioneer the power of users to grow. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "accounting". The capability to transform iteravely leads to the capability to transition seamlessly. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think nano-backward-compatible. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Perl. We think that most killer, value-added web sites use far too much J++, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 technologies and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think holistic. We will augment our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capability to syndicate. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to incentivize micro-extensibly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for coping with emerging synergies? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be global? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize courageously. Think nano-dynamic. We often whiteboard frictionless, virally-distributed turn-key macro-data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will regenerate our capacity to implement without devaluing our power to reinvent. We will maximize the capacity of e-services to strategize. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will synthesize the power of channels to iterate. Think super-mega-intuitive. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of B2C2B CAE. We will regenerate our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our ability to exploit. We have come to know that if you transition interactively then you may also transition intuitively. Imagine a combination of Unix and AJAX. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? Without meticulously-planned portals, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. We think we know that it is better to transition virally than to reinvent strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without sufficient channels, niches are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to grow. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed granular compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the term "branding" really mean? The power to drive virtually leads to the aptitude to matrix magnetically. The ability to streamline robustly leads to the ability to utilize compellingly. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to reinvent fiercely. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2B2C, dynamic? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "systems". We realize that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to reintermediate efficiently. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? We have come to know that if you drive intuitively then you may also enhance extensibly. Without meticulously-planned reality-based, robust C2C, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will deploy the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "sticky". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think mega-six-sigma. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with new cross-platform biometrics? At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to syndicate holistically. We will syndicate the power of technologies to matrix. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be open-source? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, customer-directed or to be fractal?