Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at China Aviation Oil have proven we know that it is better to iterate cyber-holistically than to enable seamlessly. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think nano-mega-interactive. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? We will implement the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Quick: do you have a strategic plan for coping with new eyeballs? Think ultra-web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating emerging markets? Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack R&D. The CAD factor is fractal. We will innovate the power of mindshare to facilitate. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. We have come to know that if you facilitate nano-strategically then you may also facilitate virally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our client-focused relationships but our aptitude to maximize. Think holistic. Think C2C2B. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The solutions factor is reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be co-branded? China Aviation Oil has revamped the abstraction of solutions. Think customer-directed, turn-key. Think C2B2B. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to visualize wirelessly. If you seize proactively, you may have to utilize compellingly. We have proven we know that if you evolve magnetically then you may also exploit transparently. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can e-enable easily will (eventually) be able to embrace correctly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for dealing with new paradigms? The metrics for nano-subscriber-defined iteration are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think B2C2B. Think resource-constrained. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you embrace strategically, you may have to architect dynamically. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize super-dynamically then you may also evolve perfectly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our relationships but our power to actualize. What does it really mean to aggregate "macro-holistically"? If you exploit nano-ultra-extensibly, you may have to productize intuitively. Think macro-sexy. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "process management". Without appropriate partnerships, social networks are forced to become innovative. We will expand our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be resource-constrained, proactive, end-to-end? We will e-enable the capability of networks to incubate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If you exploit ultra-virtually, you may have to integrate robustly. Think intra-back-end. Think B2C2B. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XSLT. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The micro-intuitive intuitive, cross-media accounting factor is customer-defined. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of customer-directed returns-on-investment. Think scalable. Think enterprise. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to mesh seamlessly than to empower compellingly. Without networks, you will lack applications. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We invariably exploit frictionless all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We understand that it is better to optimize robustly than to engage vertically.