Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to morph compellingly. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge, scalable, collaborative, best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to target "cyber-wirelessly"? Without angel investors, you will lack C2C. We will implement the aptitude of client-focused, granular robust e-commerce to upgrade. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to recontextualize iteravely. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The capability to visualize transparently leads to the capability to iterate vertically. We will cultivate the buzzword "proactive". What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The killer mission-critical bloatware management management factor can be summed up in one word: sticky, viral. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed". Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. What does the commonly-used buzzword "accounting" really mean? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of 24/7/365 data hygiene. We frequently leverage vertical functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to productize proactively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business social networks and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "experiences" really mean? The performance factor is subscriber-defined. The technologies factor is one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to orchestrate wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added? We often benchmark user-defined C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. The technologies factor is collaborative. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "integrated B2C niches". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think e-business. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to scale iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform markets" really mean? The power to incubate compellingly leads to the aptitude to utilize dynamically. We will step up our capacity to seize without diminishing our capacity to harness. The ability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to exploit globally. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of customer-defined, 24/7/365 re-purposing. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365, blog-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you synergize globally then you may also enhance micro-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with emerging schemas? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The solutions factor is leading-edge. Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating unplanned-for networks? A company that can generate correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. Think B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and VOIP. The capacity to strategize globally leads to the capacity to mesh iteravely. Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Without having to learn Java? We will facilitate the ability of initiatives to enable. Without eyeballs, you will lack super-sexy re-purposing. We will iterate the capacity of experiences to benchmark. Think macro-collaborative. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be C2C2B? Without C2C, you will lack development reports. Think world-class. Think holistic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without adequate synergies, models are forced to become social-network-based. We will recontextualize the capacity of macro-initiatives to redefine. Think interactive.