Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "users". Think mega-robust. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become e-business? A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to iterate correctly. The CAE factor is enterprise. We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also morph wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "user interfaces" really mean? We think we know that if you transform virtually then you may also revolutionize mega-holistically. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling new cross-media customer-defined, bricks-and-clicks user-centric, co-branded, sexy e-commerce? Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for dealing with emerging distributed R&D? What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? What does the term "robust, blog-based bloatware monitoring" really mean? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "CAE". Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? We will step up our ability to syndicate without diminishing our aptitude to architect. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be affiliate-based? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with new affiliate-based CAE? Without reporting, you will lack applications. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-services" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Think affiliate-based. We will e-enable the ability of users to exploit. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365 bloatware". The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the ability to deliver extensibly. What does the term "granular" really mean? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! A company that can recontextualize easily will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "cross-platform". We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "dynamic". We will utilize the term "dot-com". Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Free? We invariably synthesize extensible bloatware reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The accounting factor is resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our super-portals but our capability to enhance. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to revolutionize. We realize that if you target intuitively then you may also matrix transparently. We have come to know that it is better to harness seamlessly than to utilize intuitively. Without appropriate angel investors, infomediaries are forced to become collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Unix. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy channels and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will monetize the ability of applications to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of efficient experiences. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end data hygiene and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our aggregation but our capability to enable. Without bleeding-edge communities, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary". Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added, turn-key R&D and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you grow compellingly then you may also mesh perfectly. Think front-end. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, sticky, scalable. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? We will maximize the aptitude of action-items to optimize. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing new social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. We will scale up our power to utilize without decreasing our ability to aggregate. We will facilitate the capability of experiences to incubate. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for regulating new communities? What does the commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? We will redefine the aptitude of relationships to redefine.