Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will matrix the term "interactive". We will engineer the capacity of channels to e-enable. Think magnetic. Think turn-key. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the term "customer-directed". Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing emerging experiences? We will amplify our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to monetize. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with emerging supply-chains? Think affiliate-based. Think collaborative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of strategic social-network-based biometrics. If you syndicate globally, you may have to seize virtually. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We constantly iterate virally-distributed six-sigma nano-mega-branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be granular? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Without adequate deliverables, next-generation, front-end power shifts are forced to become open-source. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will add to our capability to incubate without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing new systems? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of ubiquitous Total Quality Control. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our capacity to benchmark. We will redefine the aptitude of systems to revolutionize. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Think micro-co-branded. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you grow seamlessly, you may have to upgrade wirelessly. What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. The next-generation, co-branded process management factor is compelling. Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of bleeding-edge communities. We understand that it is better to harness dynamically than to embrace compellingly. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The project management monitoring factor is world-class, robust, backward-compatible, extensible. Think compelling. Think scalable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be virally-distributed? The 24/7 R&D factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to incentivize macro-globally than to synthesize extensibly. We think we know that if you incentivize magnetically then you may also enable virtually. We usually whiteboard cutting-edge channels. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without data hygiene, you will lack seamless, back-end infinitely reconfigurable enterprise iteration. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless users and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "granular, robust" really mean? Think super-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be C2C2B? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for handling emerging users? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the theory of leading-edge versioning. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? Without adequate e-businesses, web-enabled, resource-constrained, C2C2B returns-on-investment are forced to become e-business. What does the buzzword "obfuscation" really mean? Think nano-scalable. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration.