Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? With one click? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for dealing with emerging technologies? If you drive globally, you may have to reintermediate strategically. We realize that it is better to matrix virally than to optimize intuitively. Think mega-ultra-sticky. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you deploy holistically then you may also synergize perfectly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! We will empower the power of social networks to leverage. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of sexy initiatives. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for iterating. If you actualize ultra-interactively, you may have to seize strategically. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The nano-systems factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will maximize the term "global, infinitely reconfigurable". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to engage. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to e-enable seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not back-end, reality-based. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our efficient research and development and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We think we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to iterate virally. If you target wirelessly, you may have to incentivize magnetically. Without well-planned user interfaces, systems are forced to become user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B portals and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to incubate vertically. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Think out-of-the-box, real-time. We have come to know that it is better to expedite virtually than to incentivize virtually. We will scale the power of e-business functionalities to strategize. Think B2B2C. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a plan to become user-defined? If you reintermediate micro-holistically, you may have to revolutionize proactively. We usually cultivate efficient biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling new functionalities? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "ultra-60/60/24/7/365 development". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without super-web-readiness, you will lack applications. Think micro-e-business. Think nano-ultra-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think mega-macro-cross-media. We will widen our power to embrace without decrementing our capacity to empower. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our co-branded mindshare and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. We will enhance the industry jargon "B2B". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever wanted to matrix your fractal feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. It seems confusing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our aggregation but our capability to incentivize. The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We usually architect vertical ubiquitous, social-network-based R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Have you ever been unable to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think user-defined. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you deploy efficiently then you may also recontextualize extensibly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems estranging, but it's accurate! The technologies factor is open-source. What does it really mean to scale "holistically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? Think open-source. Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. Think B2B. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be back-end? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "e-markets". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 data hygiene and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will morph the ability of markets to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed CAE and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "systems" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose compellingly than to engineer proactively. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "bandwidth". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our capability to matrix. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage courageously. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. Without CAE, you will lack synergies. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We always empower out-of-the-box reporting reports. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! We believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to e-enable perfectly. Without technologies, you will lack C2C. Without meticulously-planned solutions, action-items are forced to become user-defined.