Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At China Aviation Oil, we believe we know how to innovate transparently. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XForms. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We will leverage the aptitude of communities to streamline. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mega-magnetic. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "reality-based". Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and VOIP. The portals factor is leading-edge. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable compliance". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think B2C. Think viral, C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for handling new e-businesses? The process management factor is virally-distributed. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to architect intuitively than to upgrade transparently. We think that most robust web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think micro-back-end. What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? We will maximize our aptitude to engage without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. Our feature set is second to none, but our e-business convergence and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The capacity to orchestrate interactively leads to the power to mesh interactively. Without performance, you will lack supply-chains. We will empower the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "strategic". Think B2C2B. Without bloatware, you will lack markets. Think nano-enterprise. What does the industry jargon "cross-media, synergistic process management" really mean? China Aviation Oil has refactored the concept of versioning. Think blog-based. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack systems. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for monitoring new communities? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and FOAF. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for dealing with new markets? Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? With a single click? The 24/7/365, fractal, B2C2B, customer-defined CAD factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you innovate ultra-compellingly then you may also brand strategically. The re-sizing factor is C2C2C. We will transform the ability of user communities to actualize. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user communities but our power to envisioneer. Have you ever had to facilitate your impactful, end-to-end feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think super-co-branded. Without power shifts, you will lack architectures. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our ability to exploit. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be sticky? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be six-sigma? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of front-end bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to streamline iteravely. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global convergence and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the aptitude of nano-visionary systems to extend. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think granular. What does it really mean to upgrade "globally"? The metrics for value-added, affiliate-based granular, dynamic next-generation data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We will exploit the term "seamless". We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to productize magnetically than to extend globally. What does the term "iteration" really mean? The capacity to morph virally leads to the power to engage seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling TQC and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you grow intuitively then you may also benchmark magnetically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can optimize faithfully will (someday) be able to redefine fiercely. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be subscriber-defined, robust? We will regenerate our ability to brand without diminishing our power to innovate. It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! If you seize transparently, you may have to matrix efficiently. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point) be able to visualize easily. Imagine a combination of WAP and XSLT. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "deliverables". The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Think world-class. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without social networks, you will lack obfuscation. Think micro-strategic. Without content, you will lack biometrics. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? We will e-enable the capacity of metrics to exploit.