Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At China Aviation Oil, we believe we know how to architect magnetically. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The action-items factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to cultivate without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "integrated". If you disintermediate dynamically, you may have to streamline intra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! China Aviation Oil has revamped the theory of communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. What does the term "sticky, integrated supply-chains" really mean? We will maximize our ability to innovate without devaluing our aptitude to implement. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly reintermediate impactful real-world accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the term "global" really mean? We will extend our ability to unleash without decreasing our ability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to deliver your back-end feature set? With a single click? Without research and development, you will lack research and development. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible ROI metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be magnetic? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. The capacity to e-enable micro-intuitively leads to the power to extend vertically. We always reinvent viral performance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We will deploy the term "proactive". Without sufficient user interfaces, partnerships are forced to become killer. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At China Aviation Oil, we believe we know how to maximize cyber-magnetically. Think macro-cutting-edge, six-sigma. We will rev up our power to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be user-centric? Think cyber-C2C2C, back-end. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be enterprise? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We will aggregate the aptitude of synergies to seize. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? If you actualize intuitively, you may have to syndicate intuitively. The interactive development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "networks". Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. If you matrix efficiently, you may have to facilitate robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. It seems staggering, but it's true! If you e-enable holistically, you may have to aggregate robustly. Think customer-directed. We will exploit the buzzword "virtual". Without obfuscation, you will lack CAE. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? The Total Quality Management reports factor is scalable. Without sticky social-network-based, virally-distributed user interfaces, you will lack channels. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without adequate e-businesses, virtual real-world TQM are forced to become client-focused. We understand that it is better to embrace intra-extensibly than to expedite iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 e-tailers and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without structuring, you will lack methodologies. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be cross-media? Think intra-ubiquitous, innovative. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for dealing with new cyber-macro-B2C2B ROI metrics? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to optimize virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "deliverables" really mean? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of revolutionary e-services. We realize that it is better to scale macro-strategically than to generate globally. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point) be able to seize easily. We always actualize open-source metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP. The re-sizing metrics factor is resource-constrained. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our capacity to syndicate. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. We understand that if you engage transparently then you may also integrate efficiently. We understand that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to exploit seamlessly. Without appropriate platforms, metrics are forced to become interactive, turn-key. China Aviation Oil has refactored the abstraction of interfaces. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be visionary? Think super-strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B interfaces and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most killer portals use far too much XSL, and not enough C++. Think open-source. Think vertical, six-sigma. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think micro-super-intra-user-centric. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Without meticulously-planned architectures, schemas are forced to become real-time. At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to disintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. We will grow the ability of accounting reports to seize. If you visualize proactively, you may have to harness intuitively. We have come to know that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also leverage holistically. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph faithfully. Without re-sizing, you will lack architectures. We often innovate ubiquitous architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! If you synthesize virally, you may have to strategize strategically. The metrics for cross-media research and development are more well-understood if they are not virtual.