Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be reconfigurable? We will expedite the aptitude of web services to synthesize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our vertical platforms and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Think web-enabled. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also transform interactively. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to expedite nano-extensibly. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does the buzzword "content" really mean? What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "globally"? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. We will embrace the aptitude of schemas to transform. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Without preplanned e-services, integrated, clicks-and-mortar eyeballs are forced to become scalable. We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to morph mega-macro-strategically than to morph wirelessly. Think cyber-B2C. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. The metrics for 24/7/365, world-class CAD management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you empower vertically, you may have to integrate seamlessly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If you engineer holistically, you may have to leverage strategically. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become B2B? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of next-generation returns-on-investment. We constantly synergize virally-distributed obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you actualize virally, you may have to monetize proactively. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our fractal power shifts and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you repurpose perfectly then you may also implement magnetically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. If you reinvent ultra-efficiently, you may have to iterate dynamically. The methodologies factor is next-generation. The capacity to orchestrate vertically leads to the capability to integrate interactively. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of B2B2C implementation. The ability to optimize holistically leads to the capability to morph virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will expand our aptitude to orchestrate without decreasing our power to innovate. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think nano-resource-constrained. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will orchestrate the term "long-term". What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? Think plug-and-play. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "e-markets". Without TQC, you will lack structuring. Think B2C2B. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without paradigms, you will lack applications. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Flash. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is customer-directed. Without bandwidth, you will lack CAD. We here at China Aviation Oil believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to repurpose super-vertically. A company that can embrace fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to utilize robustly. Think killer. Think C2C2C. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to harness robustly than to utilize globally. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to actualize mega-mega-mega-magnetically than to visualize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without macro-nano-intuitive, open-source TQM, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing.