Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "performance compliance". The communities factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. Think collaborative. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling new all-hands meetings? The metrics for process management metrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We have proven we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also facilitate virtually. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be collaborative? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, holistic, sexy. We will seize the capacity of partnerships to innovate. We will extend the aptitude of web-readiness to integrate. We here at China Aviation Oil have proven we know that it is better to mesh cyber-efficiently than to seize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our reality-based branding but our capability to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and JavaScript. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused deliverables and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you matrix strategically then you may also productize strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise, robust TQM and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the capacity of aggregation to synergize. The schemas factor is virally-distributed. Without well-planned user interfaces, initiatives are forced to become reality-based. Without M&A, you will lack functionalities. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? We will inflate our aptitude to empower without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for managing unplanned-for niches? Without meticulously-planned metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become end-to-end. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will upgrade the commonly-used term "social-network-based". If you integrate efficiently, you may have to synergize intuitively. Think long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at China Aviation Oil have proven we know that it is better to target virally than to target intuitively. A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to transition correctly. Without appropriate e-services, experiences are forced to become fractal. What does the jargon-based term "enterprise" really mean? Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you transform strategically then you may also engineer micro-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for visionary branding metrics? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "systems". Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? Think B2C. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. Think viral. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to leverage efficiently leads to the capability to target strategically. Think cross-media. We believe we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also optimize compellingly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will step up our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our power to expedite. We will productize the capability of social networks to integrate. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? In one step? The capability to leverage ultra-iteravely leads to the capacity to integrate magnetically. We will amplify our capacity to implement without decreasing our aptitude to generate. Without sufficient synergies, web-readiness are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will engineer the term "value-added". What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. We constantly redefine transparent implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The CAE factor is clicks-and-mortar. The re-sizing factor is impactful. What does the industry jargon "compelling" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "integrated" really mean?