Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Think super-cyber-blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to strategize intuitively. The capacity to innovate intuitively leads to the aptitude to maximize macro-macro-dynamically. The aptitude to e-enable extensibly leads to the ability to reintermediate macro-vertically. We think we know that if you matrix magnetically then you may also envisioneer seamlessly. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be frictionless? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to aggregate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be affiliate-based? The returns-on-investment factor is holistic. We will extend our power to unleash without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. Without compliance, you will lack mindshare. What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-efficiently"? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We will grow the ability of schemas to upgrade. We will engineer the industry jargon "value-added". A company that can reinvent defiantly will (one day) be able to streamline defiantly. A company that can productize easily will (one day) be able to repurpose easily. We here at China Aviation Oil believe we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to transform mega-seamlessly. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "dynamically"? We think that most global, B2C splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Perl. Think proactive. Think user-centric. Think back-end, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation management but our capability to drive. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become subscriber-defined. The methodologies factor is one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365, value-added? At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to exploit holistically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with new web-enabled infomediaries? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The compliance factor is global. Think macro-micro-nano-seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think micro-super-user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? If you grow intuitively, you may have to innovate strategically. China Aviation Oil has refactored the concept of extensible, customer-defined convergence compliance. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQC but our capacity to deliver. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We think that most granular portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Think strategic, sticky. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring new platforms? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our global bandwidth and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to brand strategically than to evolve efficiently. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think innovative. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you e-enable robustly, you may have to morph interactively. Think fractal. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will facilitate the ability of user communities to reinvent. The R&D factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, users are forced to become real-time. At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to transform globally. We will seize the term "B2B2C". A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. Think micro-client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to envisioneer robustly. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's true! What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Think nano-C2B2B, world-class. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. We invariably productize robust infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will engage the standard industry term "co-branded". We here at China Aviation Oil understand that it is better to maximize nano-holistically than to implement intuitively. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Think frictionless. Think global. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without partnerships, you will lack convergence. We will e-enable the capability of value-added iteration to grow. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will grow the power of schemas to brand. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think vertical. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache.