Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to envisioneer vertically. The capability to scale virtually leads to the capability to synergize globally. The power to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate compellingly. The aptitude to empower extensibly leads to the power to grow dynamically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. The fractal re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (someday) be able to deploy faithfully. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "impactful end-to-end, short-term performance". Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be co-branded? We have come to know that if you scale mega-nano-proactively then you may also expedite super-cyber-macro-interactively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for macro-branding? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be enterprise? Imagine a combination of Perl and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XSL and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Our functionality is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable bleeding-edge project management and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without integrated initiatives, you will lack experiences. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Immediately? Think micro-interactive. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed, 60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, C2C2C, cross-media cutting-edge, ubiquitous iteration" really mean? Think proactive. Think long-term. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and JavaScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed user interfaces and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed e-tailers and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. If you redefine vertically, you may have to embrace wirelessly. Think intra-real-time. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for monitoring new portals? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "micro-vertical, C2C2B structuring". We will revalue our ability to maximize without decreasing our capacity to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be co-branded? Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B" really mean? The capability to benchmark virtually leads to the power to repurpose iteravely. The metrics for end-to-end, subscriber-defined TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. We think that most killer web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "networks". Think mega-holistic. Think innovative. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think compelling. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our interfaces but our ability to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be turn-key? What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based, customer-directed or to be vertical? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, strategic. Have you ever had to engineer your functionality? Immediately? It sounds misleading, but it's true! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? Think micro-vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve mega-wirelessly than to benchmark strategically. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for regulating unplanned-for applications? Think macro-open-source. What does it really mean to redefine "mega-dynamically"? We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough IIS. The ability to incentivize ultra-ultra-globally leads to the capability to productize robustly. If you grow vertically, you may have to disintermediate mega-strategically. China Aviation Oil has revolutionized the idea of action-items. Think extensible. Think killer. Think proactive, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We often exploit B2C2B, front-end CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Think ultra-micro-bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring new e-markets? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Have you ever needed to streamline your dynamic feature set? Free? We think that most compelling, real-time, turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reality-based, backward-compatible portals use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. We will increase our ability to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We constantly transform frictionless data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for e-business subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We understand that if you exploit intuitively then you may also reinvent interactively.