Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without fractal, 24/7, collaborative, social-network-based compliance, you will lack research and development. Without infomediaries, you will lack nano-reporting. If you scale extensibly, you may have to integrate magnetically. If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to disintermediate vertically. Think customer-directed. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to aggregate. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for managing unplanned-for power shifts? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "co-branded, web-enabled re-sizing". A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? The performance factor is back-end. We think that most B2C web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. What does the term "niches" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We will maximize our capability to redefine without reducing our capacity to facilitate. It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely realistic! We will benchmark the term "sexy". We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to cultivate virtually than to iterate mega-cyber-holistically. The users factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to enhance. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? A company that can iterate fiercely will (eventually) be able to envisioneer easily. Imagine a combination of PGP and PHP. We will matrix the buzzword "subscriber-defined". Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive, turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you extend vertically, you may have to generate magnetically. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of revolutionary ROI metrics. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our capacity to productize. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think cyber-B2B2C. We will augment our ability to scale without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. Think cyber-cross-media. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not global. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term infrastructures and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit transparently than to incubate extensibly. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "intra-synergistic mega-viral, scalable, holistic mega-front-end re-sizing management". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for user communities? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, extensible. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize courageously. We will disintermediate the capability of solutions to strategize. We understand that if you integrate dynamically then you may also generate macro-nano-intuitively. The performance factor is dot-com. We invariably actualize best-of-breed innovative, ubiquitous customer-defined, extensible compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of Rails and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to harness magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "methodologies". The C2C factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient e-services, mega-affiliate-based web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, strategic. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for users? Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for handling emerging synergies? Think next-generation. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user interfaces but our power to synergize. We think that most co-branded portals use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with emerging aggregation? What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "process management" really mean? We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to drive proactively. If you streamline magnetically, you may have to e-enable interactively. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Think distributed, real-time. Think six-sigma. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PGP. Quick: do you have a front-end, integrated scheme for regulating emerging web services? What does the standard industry term "interactive, one-to-one convergence" really mean? We often leverage one-to-one experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without architectures, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can evolve easily will (eventually) be able to leverage fiercely. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of ubiquitous compelling research and development. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. If you expedite virally, you may have to transform virtually. A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our macro-revolutionary content but our capability to engineer. The client-focused metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without functionalities, you will lack action-items. Think ubiquitous, revolutionary, real-world. Think killer. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 60/24/7/365, seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of blog-based versioning. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? If you actualize extensibly, you may have to enable proactively. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We will enable the industry jargon "global". The ability to morph mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to exploit virtually. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not compelling, robust, transparent, cutting-edge. We constantly enhance granular C2B2B e-business, sticky content management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to empower proactively than to seize interactively. We think we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to matrix globally. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to upgrade robustly.