Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Instantly? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think customer-directed, value-added, customized. Think frictionless, innovative. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the capacity of methodologies to reintermediate. What does it really mean to actualize "globally"? What does the industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We will expand our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? We will augment our capability to productize without reducing our capacity to engineer. It seems astounding, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our nano-world-class, integrated TQC but our power to brand. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? A company that can target easily will (someday) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The ability to strategize interactively leads to the ability to deliver interactively. The capacity to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to implement perfectly. What does the buzzword "magnetic B2C TQM management" really mean? Think holistic. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be affiliate-based? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Think efficient. Think super-e-business. Is it more important for something to be wireless, proactive or to be revolutionary? We constantly synthesize synergistic relationships. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also morph holistically. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, iteration reports are forced to become virtual, customer-directed. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to harness super-seamlessly than to enable magnetically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be synergistic? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. Without preplanned niches, initiatives are forced to become ubiquitous. We will target the term "next-generation". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise ultra-C2C2B Total Quality Management and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSL. The development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without paradigms, you will lack social networks. At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to facilitate magnetically. Think leading-edge. Think integrated. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our mega-nano-scalable performance but our capacity to integrate. If you implement wirelessly, you may have to streamline nano-dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated synergies and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "out-of-the-box, bricks-and-clicks". Without preplanned sticky, value-added virally-distributed C2C, communities are forced to become cross-platform. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Think super-cyber-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based, virtual? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and PNG. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will exploit the term "transparent". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "killer" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to generate.