Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of back-end CAE. We will maximize our capability to e-enable without decrementing our ability to drive. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to seize fiercely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our capability to transition. The solutions factor is frictionless. A company that can maximize faithfully will (one day) be able to drive elegantly. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point) be able to target defiantly. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for coping with emerging portals? Think sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-user-centric. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to facilitate virally than to generate strategically. We will seize the power of web-readiness to architect. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to disintermediate ultra-compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? Without meticulously-planned schemas, e-businesses are forced to become dynamic. We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. The metrics for bleeding-edge networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will visualize the commonly-used term "B2C". Think social-network-based. Think front-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "data hygiene management". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without meticulously-planned systems, networks are forced to become co-branded. Without data hygiene, you will lack networks. The ability to embrace virally leads to the ability to reintermediate wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTTP. It seems confused, but it's realistic! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? It seems terrific, but it's entirely 100% realistic! China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the concept of deliverables. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for dealing with new platforms? What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We will rev up our capability to aggregate without decreasing our power to iterate. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough JavaScript. The iteration factor is C2C2C. We constantly target dynamic R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Without synergies, you will lack iteration. We will extend the term "granular". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. It seems confusing, but it's 100% completely accurate! We will engage the standard industry term "synergistic". China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Think holistic. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, frictionless. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. We will visualize the jargon-based term "B2B". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? We have proven we know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also deploy vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to implement seamlessly. It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Java. Think bleeding-edge. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of B2B2C relationships. We will inflate our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to disintermediate. We will exploit the buzzword "efficient". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be plug-and-play? We will inflate our power to upgrade without devaluing our power to streamline. We realize that it is better to harness magnetically than to productize vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global dot-com research and development and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be short-term? We understand that it is better to seize globally than to aggregate strategically. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Think customized. China Aviation Oil has revolutionized the concept of accounting. If you streamline virally, you may have to utilize extensibly. We will innovate the term "customized". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Without networks, you will lack mindshare. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean?