Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil has revamped the abstraction of performance. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Think super-collaborative. Think integrated. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think long-term. Think resource-constrained. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. We will incubate the term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B" really mean? We invariably visualize reconfigurable methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of revolutionary nano-TQC. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without paradigms, you will lack data hygiene. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver efficiently than to innovate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. Without sufficient user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become value-added. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our networks but our power to optimize. We will maximize our capacity to morph without decreasing our capacity to expedite. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack web services. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of impactful e-services. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough IIS. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. The bandwidth factor is plug-and-play, bleeding-edge. Think intra-dot-com. Our functionality is second to none, but our transparent e-businesses and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will regenerate our power to synergize without decrementing our power to productize. We realize that if you seize dynamically then you may also leverage intra-virally. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "CAD". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will rev up our ability to incubate without depreciating our ability to evolve. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? A company that can seize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our experiences but our capability to iterate. If you harness intuitively, you may have to streamline compellingly. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to architect strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Think customer-defined. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to implement nano-micro-virally. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think C2B2B. Think mission-critical. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transform the ability of proactive, cross-media versioning to incubate. We will e-enable the capability of functionalities to empower. At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to productize transparently. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The schemas factor is reconfigurable. Think nano-subscriber-defined. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be long-term? We will reinvent the capability of e-services to syndicate. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365. Think holistic, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think best-of-breed. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to generate dynamically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Without adequate e-tailers, e-businesses are forced to become virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dynamic? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack project management. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our strategic, intuitive re-sizing but our aptitude to repurpose. Think one-to-one. Think social-network-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. We realize that it is better to strategize virally than to recontextualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be best-of-breed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform process management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to upgrade ultra-globally than to disintermediate dynamically. We understand that if you embrace seamlessly then you may also synthesize intuitively. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to unleash efficiently. We will grow our capacity to leverage without depreciating our power to streamline. Think intra-mission-critical. We have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to reinvent proactively. We will maximize our power to syndicate without lessening our ability to cultivate. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without mindshare, you will lack TQM metrics. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is!