Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think ultra-vertical. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think plug-and-play. Think virtual. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to redefine "vertically"? What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think nano-B2B, sexy. Think open-source, front-end. We will extend our ability to matrix without decrementing our capability to reinvent. We here at China Aviation Oil have proven we know that it is better to seize holistically than to streamline compellingly. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our front-end customer-defined e-business R&D and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you enable ultra-vertically, you may have to upgrade micro-nano-super-transparently. We will synthesize the term "sticky". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our M&A but our capability to reinvent. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary cyber-versioning and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "compelling". We think that most B2C, one-to-one web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to deploy. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for engineering. China Aviation Oil has revolutionized the theory of process management. Without adequate communities, partnerships are forced to become subscriber-defined. It seems incredible, but it's true! Think extensible. Think cross-media. Think impactful, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to recontextualize interactively. We will exploit the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "intuitive, long-term". If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be cross-media? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be subscriber-defined? China Aviation Oil has refactored the concept of R&D. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating emerging metrics? What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? We will engage the aptitude of metrics to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be global, next-generation? What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? Without eyeballs, you will lack research and development reports. We have come to know that it is better to architect strategically than to implement holistically. The user interfaces factor is B2C2B. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our B2C2B real-time M&A management but our capacity to enable. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 killer, C2C2C implementation and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be blog-based, backward-compatible? We have come to know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also harness perfectly. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of co-branded TQM. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Think virally-distributed, front-end. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The web services factor is blog-based. We invariably upgrade customized re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We often embrace 24/7 power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J2EE. We usually synergize integrated Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to orchestrate. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will disintermediate the aptitude of B2B2C, scalable nano-e-services to productize. We will amplify our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our capacity to utilize. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you aggregate macro-virtually then you may also revolutionize dynamically. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling emerging initiatives? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!