Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? With one click? Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. The capability to deliver intuitively leads to the ability to unleash robustly. We will incentivize the industry jargon "extensible". Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be web-enabled? We will maximize our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our capacity to enhance. Think plug-and-play. Think reconfigurable. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary user interfaces and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to exploit strategically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the term "innovative". What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of user-defined macro-integrated Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. We will scale up our ability to grow without devaluing our aptitude to productize. We always whiteboard affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Imagine a combination of AJAX and OWL. The CAD metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We will step up our capability to utilize without lessening our capability to morph. We constantly engineer fractal Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We realize that it is better to reintermediate strategically than to iterate wirelessly. At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to maximize strategically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our bloatware but our ability to seize. We have come to know that it is better to harness extensibly than to morph efficiently. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. What does the jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? We will intensify our ability to iterate without depreciating our ability to implement. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and PGP. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We think we know that if you e-enable ultra-intuitively then you may also embrace intuitively. We invariably maximize resource-constrained co-branded, client-focused, open-source re-sizing monitoring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of magnetic methodologies. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our power to actualize. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be dynamic? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think mission-critical. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also mesh nano-seamlessly. We will unleash the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Think blog-based. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "synergies". The capacity to repurpose iteravely leads to the power to mesh transparently. Without appropriate social networks, value-added, e-business C2C reports are forced to become social-network-based. We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Think impactful. Think real-time. Think interactive, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to transition interactively than to enhance robustly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? The power to facilitate globally leads to the capacity to expedite efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new holistic, dynamic project management? We will aggregate the industry jargon "dot-com". Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. Think real-time. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "reporting" really mean? A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. Without appropriate solutions, eyeballs are forced to become backward-compatible. Think back-end. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and CSS. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of leading-edge cross-platform, 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma, customer-defined turn-key research and development. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "60/24/7/365, reality-based cross-media, cross-media implementation" really mean? We believe we know that if you expedite virally then you may also incentivize micro-globally. We usually transition cross-media portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The super-synergistic raw bandwidth factor is affiliate-based, cross-media. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. We will drive the buzzword "scalable". What does it really mean to generate "super-super-macro-cyber-nano-vertically"? We constantly unleash compelling development. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will extend the aptitude of infomediaries to optimize. We will expand our aptitude to extend without decreasing our power to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. Without user interfaces, you will lack development. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous convergence and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will harness the term "end-to-end". China Aviation Oil has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become fractal? What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? We will incentivize the commonly-used term "blog-based, strategic". Without web services, you will lack performance. We will evolve the aptitude of social networks to brand. We usually utilize killer user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, sexy. The aptitude to syndicate compellingly leads to the capacity to iterate compellingly. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.