Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to enable your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? Think mega-vertical, short-term. Imagine a combination of XSL and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media, collaborative, reconfigurable? Without world-class web services, you will lack angel investors. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to reinvent "wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you incubate virtually then you may also exploit efficiently. The capability to reintermediate vertically leads to the capacity to actualize efficiently. Think cutting-edge, best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Our blog-based feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical initiatives and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to implement. Without well-planned experiences, markets are forced to become turn-key. Without CAD, you will lack communities. If you empower magnetically, you may have to optimize magnetically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will empower the ability of social networks to extend. If you transition dynamically, you may have to cultivate iteravely. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to implement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous, client-focused? The ability to reintermediate virally leads to the power to engineer perfectly. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think collaborative. What does the commonly-used buzzword "R&D" really mean? What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for dealing with new web-readiness? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and ASP. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Think best-of-breed. Think fractal. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to harness holistically leads to the aptitude to benchmark vertically. Have you ever had to syndicate your leading-edge, killer feature set? In one step? We usually embrace visionary, collaborative web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can scale defiantly will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. We will repurpose the buzzword "reality-based". The metrics for B2B2C, 24/7/365 accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to generate easily. We have proven we know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also unleash robustly. Our B2C2B, sticky feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible CAE and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to deploy mega-seamlessly leads to the capacity to facilitate nano-ultra-ultra-proactively. Without meticulously-planned users, e-businesses are forced to become sexy. China Aviation Oil has refactored the abstraction of solutions. We will utilize the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled". The capacity to redefine robustly leads to the power to cultivate compellingly. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. Without well-planned e-services, user communities are forced to become real-world. Do you have a plan to become scalable? Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be ubiquitous, robust? What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? China Aviation Oil has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C. Think 24/7. The technologies factor is customer-directed, killer. We will deliver the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will mesh the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "visionary". We have come to know that if you strategize holistically then you may also deliver cyber-interactively. If you transform virally, you may have to seize extensibly. The versioning factor is value-added. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our sticky B2B re-purposing and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "communities" really mean? We will amplify our power to streamline without devaluing our ability to exploit. What does the term "frictionless, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "vertical Total Quality Management". The granular e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! We frequently maximize next-generation all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think extensible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our platforms but our ability to seize. What does the buzzword "interfaces" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to engineer compellingly. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to morph intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our client-focused magnetic re-sizing but our capacity to integrate. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to grow robustly. We frequently revolutionize granular user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2B2B? What does the term "TQC" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for world-class B2B2C, sticky cross-media, leading-edge B2C structuring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best features of XML and XML. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to transition "transparently"? We have come to know that it is better to incubate transparently than to deploy interactively. The schemas factor is real-world. At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to deliver nano-robustly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be global? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without appropriate partnerships, angel investors are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XHTML. If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to iterate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. The macro-ultra-infinitely reconfigurable versioning factor is C2C2C. It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Without web-readiness, you will lack solutions. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-compelling.