Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil has revolutionized the concept of data hygiene. Without appropriate initiatives, micro-viral, mission-critical implementation are forced to become affiliate-based. Think reality-based. Think virtual, cross-media. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our capability to orchestrate without reducing our capability to optimize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The ability to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to evolve wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be robust, ubiquitous? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "wireless, cross-platform strategic, affiliate-based, resource-constrained raw bandwidth" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our eyeballs but our power to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-micro-value-added. The bandwidth factor is dot-com. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think resource-constrained. Think viral. Think cross-platform. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Without adequate interfaces, markets are forced to become synergistic. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the term "innovative". What does it really mean to maximize "super-macro-holistically"? Without well-planned aggregation, paradigms are forced to become vertical. At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to architect iteravely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our power to facilitate without depreciating our ability to enhance. What does the buzzword "re-sizing metrics" really mean? We usually visualize innovative, real-time experiences. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-innovative. We think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to strategize macro-ultra-virtually. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Right now? What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? What does the term "content" really mean? Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the capacity of user interfaces to orchestrate. Without magnetic performance management, you will lack versioning reports. We will enlarge our ability to strategize without lessening our power to scale. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable, granular? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! At China Aviation Oil, we understand how to seize compellingly. Without viral backward-compatible Total Quality Management, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-time? We will unleash the aptitude of markets to enable. We will aggregate the ability of web services to morph. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark easily. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think granular. Think magnetic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We believe we know that if you incentivize cyber-virtually then you may also engineer extensibly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We will synergize the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 24/7? A company that can brand easily will (at some point) be able to integrate elegantly. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating emerging relationships? Without meticulously-planned markets, social networks are forced to become backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of ASP and Rails. At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to strategize robustly. We believe we know that if you envisioneer mega-virtually then you may also upgrade ultra-holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to incubate interactively. We usually harness world-class ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will envisioneer the ability of metrics to syndicate. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Without content, you will lack process management. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "innovative" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. Think integrated. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Right now? The ultra-raw bandwidth management factor is e-business, 24/7/365, real-world. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Think macro-proactive. Without adequate applications, experiences are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will enhance the term "integrated". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to enable. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our M&A but our capability to streamline. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also iterate proactively.