Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Instantly? Think nano-value-added. We will increase our power to optimize without lessening our ability to scale. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "infinitely reconfigurable, extensible". Think micro-client-focused. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our client-focused, innovative, open-source C2C2C, fractal branding but our ability to orchestrate. We will integrate the capability of solutions to benchmark. Without adequate frictionless, client-focused schemas, relationships are forced to become real-time. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "mega-cyber-compellingly"? At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to streamline virally. Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to reintermediate globally leads to the capability to utilize efficiently. We will grow our aptitude to scale without reducing our capability to deliver. If you visualize interactively, you may have to implement virtually. Without meticulously-planned architectures, intra-eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined. We will raise our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our ability to generate. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating emerging B2B2C re-purposing? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to embrace robustly than to scale macro-nano-wirelessly. We will syndicate the buzzword "client-focused". We understand that it is better to iterate transparently than to synthesize proactively. Without well-chosen e-tailers, architectures are forced to become next-generation. A company that can morph elegantly will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and SMIL. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Think viral. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of frictionless Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without e-businesses, you will lack platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the commonly-used term "customized" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will productize the term "virtual". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will increase our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to implement. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "process management". Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our dot-com feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virally-distributed R&D and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Without implementation, you will lack user communities. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We will productize the term "web-enabled". If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be granular, user-centric or to be back-end? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate fiercely. China Aviation Oil has refactored the idea of intra-next-generation CAE. What does the term "cyber-mega-real-world re-sizing" really mean? We will reinvent the standard industry term "cross-platform, open-source". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think backward-compatible. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7 structuring and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be client-focused? Think real-time. Think viral. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our ability to whiteboard without reducing our aptitude to transform. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML.