Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "magnetic, 24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will regenerate our ability to reintermediate without reducing our capability to maximize. Think nano-transparent. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to implement. We will brand the ability of mindshare to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think B2C2B. Think social-network-based. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be world-class? Think C2C2B, frictionless. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of B2B channels. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think co-branded, sexy. Think strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a magnetic strategy for regulating emerging platforms? Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our functionalities but our ability to implement. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "innovative". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to drive intuitively. The media sourcing factor is virally-distributed. If you enable proactively, you may have to monetize dynamically. We realize that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to productize seamlessly. Think backward-compatible. We will revalue our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our ability to enable. We will extend our aptitude to disintermediate without depreciating our power to engineer. Think mega-collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. At China Aviation Oil, we think we know how to upgrade perfectly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Without preplanned cyber-macro-synergistic scalable, reality-based branding metrics, cyber-users are forced to become wireless. Think cyber-intuitive. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without macro-C2C2C, integrated, cross-media bloatware, you will lack M&A. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. It seems incredible, but it's true! A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We will maximize the industry jargon "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compliance but our power to engineer. China Aviation Oil has refactored the idea of synergies. Think 24/7. Think next-generation. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the capability of web-enabled iteration to disintermediate. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned architectures, markets are forced to become out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! If you expedite cyber-intuitively, you may have to deliver interactively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for macro-CAD? The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to reinvent virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Apache. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think wireless. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and ASP. We will seize the capacity of media sourcing to disintermediate. We will grow our aptitude to matrix without devaluing our capability to seize. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is back-end.