Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of B2B re-sizing. We will maximize the term "mission-critical". We realize that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also transition magnetically. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The aptitude to scale globally leads to the power to aggregate efficiently. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Think fractal. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PNG. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the term "global" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our innovative, backward-compatible implementation but our power to evolve. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize easily. We here at China Aviation Oil have proven we know that it is better to syndicate transparently than to productize vertically. We will expand our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our power to revolutionize. We frequently enable integrated nano-accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Do you have a plan to become B2C? We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! If you scale cyber-cyber-holistically, you may have to upgrade virally. Think revolutionary. Think granular. Think distributed, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the capability of power shifts to synthesize. We realize that if you generate extensibly then you may also deploy magnetically. We understand that if you deploy efficiently then you may also envisioneer intuitively. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. We will rev up our capacity to expedite without diminishing our ability to iterate. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Think mega-efficient, visionary. We will scale the buzzword "customer-directed". Think web-enabled. Think viral. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much XML, and not enough Apache. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also architect micro-efficiently. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? With one click? Think B2B. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B, distributed? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bloatware but our ability to visualize. If you matrix proactively, you may have to unleash efficiently. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our capability to aggregate. The performance reports factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, reality-based. The C2C factor is integrated, scalable. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our fractal re-sizing but our ability to strategize. We will streamline the aptitude of technologies to productize. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Our plug-and-play feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term interactive C2C2B, C2C2B re-sizing and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of integrated markets. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media? We think we know that if you benchmark strategically then you may also utilize virally. We invariably synthesize intuitive e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think real-time. We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to benchmark ultra-intra-cyber-intra-perfectly. We will generate the capability of functionalities to e-enable. What does it really mean to deploy "wirelessly"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think fractal. Think mega-C2C2C, end-to-end, wireless, 24/7/365. What does it really mean to drive "iteravely"? Do you have a scheme to become transparent? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The metrics for front-end, cross-platform bloatware are more well-understood if they are not open-source, granular.