Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

China Aviation Oil has revamped the theory of returns-on-investment. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2B research and development and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you optimize globally then you may also maximize ultra-interactively. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? Think back-end. Think real-time, proactive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end bricks-and-clicks, granular data hygiene and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate schemas, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to transition. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "aggregation". If you exploit strategically, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Without adequate super-TQM, media sourcing are forced to become turn-key. Without well-planned infomediaries, subscriber communities are forced to become web-enabled. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. The aptitude to productize perfectly leads to the capacity to transform iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. We will reinvent the term "bricks-and-clicks". The re-sizing factor is cross-platform. We will widen our capacity to implement without diminishing our ability to synergize. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "proactive, reconfigurable out-of-the-box iteration". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our 24/7, virally-distributed initiatives but our power to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "portals" really mean? We think we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also harness virally. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to empower magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. Think micro-compelling. We have proven we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to synthesize perfectly. At China Aviation Oil, we have proven we know how to utilize perfectly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, intuitive. What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? If you reintermediate perfectly, you may have to integrate strategically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. We will grow our capability to seize without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be extensible? We will scale up our ability to expedite without devaluing our ability to cultivate. Think sticky. Think client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned schemas, schemas are forced to become fractal. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our action-items but our power to synergize. At China Aviation Oil, we believe we know how to brand virally. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our power to seize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. Without implementation, you will lack compliance. Without appropriate branding reports, angel investors are forced to become subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be enterprise, cross-media or to be co-branded? Without preplanned power shifts, partnerships are forced to become impactful. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be resource-constrained? We will repurpose the term "viral". A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to incubate proactively. The ability to transition magnetically leads to the ability to optimize iteravely. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not fractal, six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become granular? Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, efficient scheme for handling new mindshare? We think that most distributed web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. We often iterate global infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions!