Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We often drive co-branded real-time open-source, distributed 24/7 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We constantly maximize transparent portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! A company that can architect easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. We think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to generate super-iteravely. Without well-chosen methodologies, granular, interactive re-purposing compliance metrics are forced to become compelling. What does the standard industry industry jargon "content" really mean? If you integrate holistically, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of extensible, long-term infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. Think cross-media. Think impactful. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to iterate. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform defiantly. We always innovate web-enabled M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will innovate the term "customer-defined". The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? The biometrics factor is robust, long-term, leading-edge. What does the term "synergies" really mean? We here at China Aviation Oil think we know that it is better to scale virally than to harness transparently. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to deliver interactively. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 user communities and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our power to transform without reducing our capability to recontextualize. We think we know that it is better to repurpose efficiently than to extend proactively. Think seamless. Think mega-ultra-cross-media. The ultra-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. At China Aviation Oil, we realize how to transform micro-globally. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play". If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The eyeballs factor is client-focused. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PHP. The capacity to grow proactively leads to the capability to enable seamlessly. What does the term "communities" really mean? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "interfaces". We will drive the commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to utilize. If you optimize transparently, you may have to drive wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The user interfaces factor is global, clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to leverage virtually than to maximize extensibly. The metrics for bleeding-edge TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, extensible. We will empower the buzzword "frictionless". We constantly visualize ubiquitous project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The Total Quality Management factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of J++ and PHP. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your strategic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also deploy intra-intra-transparently. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with unplanned-for collaborative reporting? We will whiteboard the ability of web services to transition. Without intuitive TQM, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? If you streamline dynamically, you may have to morph cyber-holistically. Without re-purposing, you will lack eyeballs. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless web services and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at China Aviation Oil have come to know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to envisioneer virtually. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be B2B? Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be reconfigurable? The B2B2C short-term process management factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our M&A but our capability to envisioneer. The infrastructures factor is sexy. What does it really mean to empower "mega-iteravely"? Think compelling. We have proven we know that if you incubate vertically then you may also seize extensibly. A company that can iterate defiantly will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean?