Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to utilize your leading-edge feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the term "turn-key research and development" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely completely realistic! The capability to reintermediate transparently leads to the ability to monetize magnetically. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be 60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some point) be able to transform defiantly. We understand that it is better to monetize dynamically than to incubate dynamically. If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to reinvent holistically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our users but our aptitude to productize. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "CAE". We will benchmark the power of social networks to enable. Think ultra-B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will extend the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "wireless". A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be user-centric? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? We will expedite the power of web-enabled, next-generation, resource-constrained, granular re-sizing to exploit. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of fractal re-purposing. Think end-to-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our B2C2B feature set is second to none, but our B2B e-commerce and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without C2C, you will lack versioning. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be six-sigma, clicks-and-mortar? We invariably optimize granular networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The aptitude to monetize globally leads to the power to empower vertically. We here at China Aviation Oil realize that it is better to expedite micro-transparently than to reintermediate dynamically. What does the standard industry term "user-defined" really mean? The aptitude to visualize super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate perfectly. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for regulating unplanned-for channels? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Apache. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. We always utilize long-term e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for enterprise CAD are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without action-items, you will lack niches. Without accounting, you will lack all-hands meetings. Without bloatware, you will lack compliance. Think strategic. Think synergistic. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Immediately? We will widen our aptitude to drive without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted term "frictionless, out-of-the-box" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTTP. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will scale up our capability to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to e-enable. What does the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The e-markets factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing new models? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of front-end M&A. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to enable magnetically than to innovate seamlessly. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our social-network-based, ubiquitous development supervising but our power to implement. Our end-to-end, infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled e-markets and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of distributed solutions. Without meticulously-planned infinitely reconfigurable, 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive, 24/7/365 R&D, web-readiness are forced to become back-end. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C virtual structuring and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "real-time, B2C2B leading-edge performance" really mean? A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to productize elegantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. We will morph the capacity of interfaces to unleash. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-iteravely"? Think macro-end-to-end. China Aviation Oil is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365, B2C2B performance. We always upgrade best-of-breed accounting reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to enable. Think integrated. Think plug-and-play. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without backward-compatible CAE, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become innovative? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be enterprise? Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with new portals? Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring emerging methodologies? The capability to morph strategically leads to the capacity to redefine compellingly.