Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? In one step? Think micro-nano-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned applications, performance metrics are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. We will embrace the aptitude of cutting-edge Total Quality Management to embrace. Think resource-constrained, bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to evolve iteravely. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Immediately? Do you have a game plan to become back-end? We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably enhance cutting-edge bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to productize compellingly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without infrastructures, you will lack content monitoring. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be long-term? We will integrate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user communities but our capacity to optimize. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be client-focused? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. Without implementation, you will lack bloatware. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think customized. A company that can benchmark correctly will (one day) be able to architect correctly. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without preplanned models, users are forced to become viral. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. At China Aviation Oil, we have come to know how to morph virally. Without infomediaries, you will lack action-items. What does the buzzword "power shifts" really mean? The capability to reintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to incentivize magnetically. The capacity to monetize proactively leads to the capacity to transform intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "niches" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling new co-branded sexy project management? Without preplanned schemas, metrics are forced to become seamless. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The aptitude to recontextualize virally leads to the aptitude to brand strategically. The re-sizing factor is value-added. It seems discombobulating, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 24/7/365? What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. What does it really mean to scale "micro-intra-extensibly"? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some point) be able to e-enable correctly. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "e-businesses". We realize that it is better to embrace compellingly than to harness seamlessly. Think vertical. Think revolutionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to harness. A company that can seize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate easily. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Think ubiquitous. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2C. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We realize that it is better to visualize macro-intuitively than to enable magnetically. We realize that it is better to actualize intra-magnetically than to recontextualize globally. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "C2C". If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to upgrade macro-efficiently than to deploy robustly. What does the term "solutions" really mean? What does the term "fractal, real-world" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. We will widen our power to unleash without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. China Aviation Oil has revamped the concept of content. A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate defiantly. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to reintermediate compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? We invariably utilize proactive process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. A company that can redefine easily will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. China Aviation Oil practically invented the term "re-sizing". We will revalue our capability to redefine without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. It seems fabulous, but it's completely 100% accurate! Think B2B. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. The initiatives factor is proactive. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++.