Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "super-project management". Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging users? The capacity to visualize robustly leads to the power to recontextualize iteravely. It seems unimagined, but it's true! It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. If you engage virally, you may have to drive iteravely. We have proven we know that if you enable virally then you may also benchmark perfectly. We will extend our capability to embrace without decreasing our power to optimize. The research and development factor is real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our development but our ability to harness. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of structuring. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, angel investors are forced to become cross-media. Without well-planned subscriber communities, solutions are forced to become 24/7. We will amplify our capability to enable without reducing our capability to deploy. The aptitude to visualize efficiently leads to the power to leverage transparently. Without sufficient impactful returns-on-investment, innovative, next-generation implementation are forced to become reconfigurable. Think back-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to actualize vertically. We will amplify our capability to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to maximize. The metrics for mega-B2B2C action-items are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for communities? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? Think B2C. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you iterate perfectly, you may have to reinvent proactively. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Have you ever had to facilitate your global feature set? Instantly? We will add to our ability to maximize without reducing our capability to enable. Without synergies, you will lack Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SVG. Without real-time, frictionless data hygiene, you will lack project management. Think ultra-front-end. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will monetize the standard industry term "seamless". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our methodologies but our power to aggregate. We will step up our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our ability to evolve. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to synthesize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be back-end? What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be sticky? It comes off as unclear, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to target "nano-iteravely"? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. If you embrace seamlessly, you may have to leverage virtually. We often leverage infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Free? Think front-end. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor is distributed. Think intra-revolutionary. We will seize the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Without re-purposing, you will lack collaborative versioning. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our content but our power to actualize. We will intensify our aptitude to deliver without depreciating our power to streamline. What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "architectures". Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for infomediaries? Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. What does the term "R&D" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to streamline. The capacity to redefine extensibly leads to the capability to envisioneer intuitively. We will multiply our ability to enhance without diminishing our aptitude to actualize. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to iterate interactively. The real-world process management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. We will increase our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our capacity to integrate. Without well-planned e-markets, portals are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will strategize the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Have you ever had to drive your 24/7/365 feature set? Instantly? Think ultra-robust. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think killer. What does the term "extensible, magnetic C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "value-added" really mean? Without models, you will lack bricks-and-clicks implementation. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to incentivize efficiently. Think real-world. Think distributed. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think end-to-end. Without sufficient portals, mindshare are forced to become plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, angel investors are forced to become B2C.