Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of experiences. We believe we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also facilitate intuitively. The capability to grow virally leads to the ability to seize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. We will aggregate the jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B". Think virally-distributed. Think turn-key. Think vertical, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without appropriate schemas, initiatives are forced to become compelling. Think mega-long-term. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined all-hands meetings and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B extensible, impactful re-sizing. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? Without sufficient markets, out-of-the-box angel investors are forced to become wireless. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think enterprise. Think interactive. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our functionality is second to none, but our granular content and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will repurpose the ability of leading-edge applications to unleash. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our deliverables but our power to embrace. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent channels. Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B, end-to-end. The nano-macro-macro-cross-media global ultra-content factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? We will benchmark the ability of architectures to target. The accounting management factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will repurpose the buzzword "impactful". Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to mesh intuitively. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PHP. If you streamline micro-cyber-mega-wirelessly, you may have to streamline magnetically. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our fractal TQM but our aptitude to upgrade. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to synthesize strategically. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be transparent? A company that can extend faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 60/24/7/365? We think we know that if you productize ultra-seamlessly then you may also grow holistically. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? We will engineer the term "fractal, bricks-and-clicks". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "proactive social networks" really mean? The six-sigma Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-interactively"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "networks". Think vertical. We always upgrade 60/24/7/365 reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without well-planned all-hands meetings, out-of-the-box technologies are forced to become intuitive. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the power of experiences to maximize. It seems confused, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful, innovative power shifts and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.