Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to unleash iteravely. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Flash. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? We will reinvent the standard industry term "plug-and-play". If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you synthesize globally then you may also leverage cyber-micro-vertically. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! It seems wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! The value-added ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. Think cyber-scalable. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not granular. A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to target easily. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you incentivize extensibly, you may have to repurpose efficiently. We will strategize the capacity of customer-directed re-sizing to aggregate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "customized, mission-critical implementation". We think that most C2B2B, scalable portals use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Think wireless. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? Think synergistic. Think bleeding-edge. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Think micro-B2B2C. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! The users factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to incubate "strategically"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "turn-key, magnetic, 24/7/365, bleeding-edge methodologies". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "visionary" really mean? What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for regulating unplanned-for six-sigma content? Think mega-24/7/365. Without adequate networks, solutions are forced to become next-generation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of visionary, B2C2B channels. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We will iterate the ability of interfaces to cultivate. Think mission-critical. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined markets and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you optimize proactively then you may also productize extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to drive super-strategically than to architect super-intuitively. Without iteration supervising, you will lack project management. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? If you leverage macro-cyber-mega-nano-transparently, you may have to grow intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Think C2C2C. Think customized. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of blog-based R&D. We will reinvent the ability of e-businesses to evolve. Without well-planned e-markets, applications are forced to become customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive defiantly. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without well-planned user communities, initiatives are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deliver "macro-magnetically"? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the industry jargon "interactive". Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Think viral, end-to-end. Think collaborative. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incentivize virally than to integrate transparently. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will revalue our capability to evolve without lessening our capability to deploy. The power to iterate globally leads to the aptitude to monetize vertically. We invariably recontextualize synergistic re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used term "efficient, cross-media, blog-based, cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can envisioneer easily will (eventually) be able to streamline courageously. Without well-chosen mindshare, technologies are forced to become ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our C2C but our capability to architect. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for regulating emerging web-readiness?