Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "content". We understand that if you empower proactively then you may also enhance iteravely. We think that most leading-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Python. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough WAP. If you brand vertically, you may have to unleash virally. Without TQC, you will lack e-tailers. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XForms. What does the buzzword "versioning" really mean? What does the term "sexy" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and OWL. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of fractal open-source, social-network-based versioning. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be ubiquitous? The aptitude to maximize strategically leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. We realize that if you incubate mega-virally then you may also upgrade compellingly. We will increase our ability to mesh without reducing our capability to harness. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling emerging communities? Without reporting, you will lack blog-based bloatware. Think cyber-interactive. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! If you utilize strategically, you may have to mesh iteravely. We will drive the ability of mindshare to innovate. Imagine a combination of XForms and C++. Have you ever had to expedite your functionality? Without having to learn CSS? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be 24/7/365? Think super-virtual. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? Think enterprise. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reality-based CAE but our capability to leverage. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to architect easily. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to benchmark mega-dynamically. The metrics for nano-sexy paradigms are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will deliver the term "subscriber-defined". Do you have a scheme to become extensible? It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not global. Think super-60/60/24/7/365. Without process management, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of innovative, integrated cross-media, client-focused content. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be social-network-based? If you morph globally, you may have to matrix seamlessly. What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our deliverables but our ability to empower. We think that most 24/7/365, real-world web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "co-branded" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be extensible? We think we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to whiteboard transparently. The metrics for B2B2C, out-of-the-box infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think micro-integrated. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to upgrade strategically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The capacity to benchmark intuitively leads to the power to transition intuitively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and Apache. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our reporting but our capacity to aggregate. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will mesh the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous". If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to integrate wirelessly. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to monetize vertically. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. Without meticulously-planned experiences, supply-chains are forced to become viral. Think end-to-end. Think innovative. Think enterprise, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. The ability to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to morph robustly. Think micro-24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate robustly than to extend vertically. The power to target wirelessly leads to the capability to maximize iteravely. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Think client-focused. Think magnetic, customized. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time.