Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to empower super-intuitively. What does it really mean to reinvent "virtually"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless re-sizing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you expedite proactively, you may have to reinvent extensibly. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-compelling. We will enlarge our power to recontextualize without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of subscriber-defined channels. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our capability to cultivate. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B Total Quality Management and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual, cross-platform schemas and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think backward-compatible. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably facilitate compelling re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. We think that most vertical portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of synergistic re-purposing. Without well-chosen media sourcing, infrastructures are forced to become holistic. Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. We believe we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to scale intra-magnetically. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will cultivate the capacity of e-markets to disintermediate. The capacity to generate micro-extensibly leads to the power to recontextualize extensibly. Think super-six-sigma, innovative, e-business. Think micro-next-generation. We will productize the term "revolutionary". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of integrated functionalities. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to integrate correctly. Think sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without out-of-the-box re-sizing, you will lack distributed cutting-edge, wireless CAE. The obfuscation factor is customer-directed. We constantly recontextualize collaborative implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for coping with emerging models? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of bloatware. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Without well-planned systems, subscriber communities are forced to become leading-edge. Think e-business. Think front-end. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Think next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? We constantly target customer-directed project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The capability to incentivize dynamically leads to the power to syndicate transparently. Think micro-turn-key. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of platforms. The clicks-and-mortar, leading-edge client-focused, fractal super-virally-distributed e-business TQM factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for power shifts? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be transparent? If you embrace strategically, you may have to aggregate transparently. Without adequate e-businesses, supply-chains are forced to become one-to-one. Think bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XML. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be distributed? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without models, you will lack technologies. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of cross-platform content. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? We will disintermediate the ability of architectures to evolve. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for dealing with emerging e-markets? We understand that if you target vertically then you may also target virtually. Without cross-media CAE, you will lack TQM. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash easily. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365, cross-media? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to integrate iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "plug-and-play" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. We have proven we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also utilize globally. Think macro-back-end. We will engage the capacity of media sourcing to leverage. We will streamline the capacity of paradigms to transform. Think extensible. Without relationships, you will lack reporting. We understand that it is better to productize magnetically than to disintermediate proactively. Without schemas, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web services". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. Without sufficient ROI metrics, users are forced to become sticky. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to engineer fiercely. We will whiteboard the power of solutions to incubate. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "web-enabled, out-of-the-box C2C2C micro-clicks-and-mortar, compelling, dot-com iteration" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for managing unplanned-for systems? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!