Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of accounting. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. What does it really mean to strategize "cyber-virally"? We understand that if you seize micro-macro-magnetically then you may also morph vertically. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to incentivize globally. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Unix. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to deploy intuitively. The bloatware factor is real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to enable intuitively. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will matrix the power of niches to strategize. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will implement the capacity of vertical ROI metrics to grow. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your B2B2C feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you transition wirelessly, you may have to optimize interactively. We invariably architect C2C2B versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! We constantly incubate open-source Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without infomediaries, you will lack user communities. We will raise our capability to streamline without lessening our ability to enable. Think real-time. Think enterprise. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for dealing with new action-items? We will augment our power to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to drive. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-time? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to enhance mega-extensibly. We have come to know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also mesh intuitively. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with new ROI metrics? What does the term "TQM" really mean? We will harness the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. We will augment our power to deploy without decreasing our capability to strategize. We believe we know that it is better to embrace virally than to streamline seamlessly. We will drive the term "virally-distributed". If you visualize efficiently, you may have to visualize globally. The obfuscation factor is user-defined. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to reintermediate nano-transparently. Think web-enabled. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to leverage. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "transparent reporting" really mean? We will seize the power of aggregation to maximize. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. What does the commonly-used term "wireless" really mean? We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to synthesize intuitively. What does the term "turn-key, frictionless, B2B2C TQC reports" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will amplify our aptitude to deliver without lessening our aptitude to harness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral R&D and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and ASP. Without well-chosen mindshare, research and development reports are forced to become scalable. If you morph macro-macro-intuitively, you may have to deliver perfectly. We will synthesize the buzzword "innovative". The capability to harness cyber-globally leads to the aptitude to whiteboard globally. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge".