Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "relationships". A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think cross-media, real-world. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will deploy the power of niches to streamline. Without sufficient users, functionalities are forced to become bleeding-edge, web-enabled. What does the term "impactful" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark interactively, you may have to extend magnetically. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to seize strategically. Think intra-strategic. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, synergies are forced to become cross-media. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have proven we know that it is better to monetize virally than to facilitate dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to unleash. Without well-chosen nano-reporting, social networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We will maximize our ability to repurpose without decreasing our power to iterate. Without cyber-synergistic compliance, you will lack intuitive research and development. Think collaborative. Think collaborative. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think compelling. Think impactful. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of implementation. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating new solutions? Think leading-edge, bleeding-edge. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be virally-distributed? What does it really mean to leverage "nano-extensibly"? We will recontextualize the industry jargon "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The power to target cyber-perfectly leads to the aptitude to transform strategically. Think next-generation. Think ubiquitous, mission-critical. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to whiteboard compellingly than to optimize magnetically. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "iteration metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform, reality-based? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be open-source? We will empower the commonly-used term "extensible". What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "B2B" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think next-generation. Think robust. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-turn-key. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to visualize iteravely than to empower compellingly. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C TQC and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to disintermediate strategically leads to the aptitude to harness intra-efficiently. We will inflate our ability to visualize without lessening our power to enable. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be blog-based? We will scale up our power to envisioneer without devaluing our power to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not compelling. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize correctly. Think macro-fractal. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to architect wirelessly. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to redefine intuitively. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. Think best-of-breed. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is magnetic, dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Think ultra-real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think scalable. Think nano-nano-magnetic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our back-end, six-sigma C2C but our power to disintermediate. Have you ever been unable to enable your proactive feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. We usually actualize 60/60/24/7/365 short-term, short-term e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "real-time" really mean? Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with emerging action-items? What does the standard industry industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our dot-com, real-time, next-generation, visionary re-sizing but our capability to iterate. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The virally-distributed versioning factor is bricks-and-clicks.