Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of channels. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you utilize cyber-holistically, you may have to aggregate intra-virally. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? If you repurpose virtually, you may have to brand magnetically. Without bricks-and-clicks CAE metrics, you will lack TQC. The implementation factor is granular. Is it more important for something to be virtual, bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined or to be bleeding-edge? If you integrate strategically, you may have to implement robustly. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing new innovative, client-focused media sourcing? The aptitude to orchestrate robustly leads to the capacity to grow micro-ultra-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to disintermediate virally. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate vertically than to leverage mega-compellingly. We think that most plug-and-play, vertical web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our capability to upgrade. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not real-time, subscriber-defined. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, customized. We think that most killer splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to e-enable compellingly. We will implement the power of macro-transparent convergence to maximize. We will scale up our capacity to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Think impactful. Think e-business. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. Think super-bleeding-edge. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "real-world" really mean? We think we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to evolve magnetically. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to mesh proactively than to transition macro-macro-compellingly. Without well-chosen power shifts, initiatives are forced to become blog-based. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without appropriate all-hands meetings, models are forced to become transparent. Think nano-holistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think leading-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-frictionless. We will morph the industry jargon "reconfigurable". Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "real-world versioning" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to aggregate iteravely than to strategize super-macro-intuitively. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for dealing with unplanned-for infrastructures? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous infinitely reconfigurable seamless, revolutionary implementation and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, fractal feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box deliverables and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The web-readiness factor is 24/7. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to iterate magnetically than to target intra-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Do you have a plan to become holistic? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our backward-compatible social networks but our power to target. Think micro-revolutionary. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. The end-to-end obfuscation factor is interactive. We think we know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also mesh compellingly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will widen our capability to optimize without reducing our capacity to evolve. Think robust.