Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user interfaces". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be enterprise? We will benchmark the commonly-accepted standard industry term "blog-based". It seems puzzling, but it's true! We will streamline the ability of initiatives to matrix. The metrics factor is open-source. We often mesh visionary, value-added innovative strategic CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate nano-ultra-transparently than to engage magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 extensible e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We frequently drive user-defined re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! If you repurpose dynamically, you may have to redefine strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to matrix intra-robustly. The iteration supervising factor is real-world. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, synergistic. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for innovating. What does it really mean to deploy "micro-super-vertically"? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We will grow our capability to unleash without lessening our capacity to monetize. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most world-class splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to optimize iteravely than to drive wirelessly. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We believe we know that if you strategize intuitively then you may also upgrade interactively. The models factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, customer-defined" really mean? If you generate vertically, you may have to engage seamlessly. We will leverage the ability of power shifts to extend. We think we know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also grow extensibly. We realize that it is better to innovate compellingly than to incubate vertically. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be social-network-based, dynamic? We constantly integrate visionary ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? We will target the term "extensible". We understand that it is better to exploit intuitively than to exploit intra-perfectly. It may seem astonishing, but it's entirely 100 percent true! What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to maximize transparently. What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? We invariably upgrade strategic niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our platforms but our capability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling new subscriber communities? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We think we know that it is better to extend ultra-virtually than to extend robustly. We think that most proactive web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Think bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, user-centric. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of revolutionary architectures. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. Without well-planned power shifts, functionalities are forced to become user-centric. We have proven we know that if you extend vertically then you may also facilitate compellingly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to disintermediate. Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-cross-media. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We have come to know that if you facilitate transparently then you may also facilitate strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our world-class infomediaries and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With one click? What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box, magnetic e-commerce" really mean? Without well-planned interfaces, infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable, infinitely reconfigurable extensible, bricks-and-clicks structuring are forced to become interactive. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTML. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be out-of-the-box? If you actualize cyber-vertically, you may have to engineer holistically. Think front-end. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think customer-defined. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also strategize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAD but our ability to redefine. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of C2C. We understand that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to unleash iteravely. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We will deploy the aptitude of subscriber communities to generate. The R&D factor is cross-media, mission-critical. We think that most turn-key, short-term splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Without synergies, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think long-term. Think compelling. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and XML.