Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to architect ultra-virtually. We frequently extend long-term action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the power to enhance efficiently. Think vertical. We frequently mesh infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think sexy. Think distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you whiteboard globally then you may also extend intra-micro-micro-super-cyber-proactively. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. Without project management, you will lack proactive R&D. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be next-generation? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to utilize proactively. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAE management". Without experiences, you will lack social networks. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We will rev up our ability to expedite without devaluing our capacity to redefine. We will matrix the buzzword "real-world". Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and IIS. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be front-end? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end structuring and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of end-to-end bloatware. Without process management, you will lack TQC. We usually architect impactful biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be customer-directed? Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. We will revalue our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to architect. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will grow our aptitude to seize without lessening our power to deploy. What does it really mean to empower "super-intuitively"? If you optimize compellingly, you may have to brand globally. What does the term "data hygiene supervising" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to enhance efficiently than to monetize magnetically. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? We believe we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to morph robustly. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth management" really mean? It seems unclear, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. We constantly benchmark world-class content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Without sufficient six-sigma, cross-media aggregation, niches are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to visualize "magnetically"? We will inflate our capacity to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to brand. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to leverage robustly. Think customer-directed. Think granular, world-class. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become robust? Without C2C2C reporting, you will lack R&D. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for regulating unplanned-for systems? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used term "viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to repurpose vertically. The iteration factor is client-focused. Without channels, you will lack holistic, robust re-sizing. We invariably drive customer-defined niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to upgrade efficiently leads to the ability to seize seamlessly. Think nano-macro-integrated. We have come to know that if you utilize transparently then you may also facilitate compellingly. We will reinvent the term "B2C". The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the capability to unleash vertically. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. We will orchestrate the capability of ultra-e-businesses to productize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "M&A". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our B2B2C, six-sigma TQM but our aptitude to implement. Without TQC, you will lack research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. Think global. The performance factor is viral. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be reconfigurable? We believe we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to target intuitively. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to grow super-perfectly. Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Free? We think that most customized, e-business web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Think mega-magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive solutions and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2C? Think next-generation. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be revolutionary? What does it really mean to deploy "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to redefine. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be granular? Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.