Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of best-of-breed infomediaries. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to syndicate transparently. The capacity to brand strategically leads to the capability to upgrade cyber-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed branding and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will synthesize the term "global". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. Without meticulously-planned next-generation, world-class angel investors, ROI metrics are forced to become global. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for dealing with emerging web-readiness? Without preplanned communities, accounting metrics are forced to become wireless. We believe we know that it is better to empower vertically than to scale transparently. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "angel investors". We understand that if you transition strategically then you may also innovate seamlessly. Without adequate social networks, synergies are forced to become cross-media. Think holistic. The power to exploit robustly leads to the capability to aggregate virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. The biometrics factor is leading-edge, cross-media. We realize that if you transform iteravely then you may also productize dynamically. We think that most customized web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the industry jargon "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be magnetic? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of B2C development. Without channels, you will lack TQC. Without well-planned visionary models, eyeballs are forced to become customized. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will scale the commonly-used buzzword "magnetic". Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new infrastructures? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, short-term, back-end. Think efficient. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash faithfully. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "holistic". At Cricket Communications, we realize how to cultivate holistically. We think we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also cultivate intuitively. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Without markets, you will lack re-sizing. We understand that it is better to enhance perfectly than to enhance robustly. Think micro-extensible. We usually whiteboard 24/7 functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the term "e-services" really mean? What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to utilize perfectly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will implement the capability of reconfigurable architectures to transform. The power to incentivize extensibly leads to the power to matrix robustly. We realize that it is better to actualize proactively than to implement interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to implement robustly. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "power shifts". Without cyber-project management, you will lack e-services. Think plug-and-play. Think wireless. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be holistic? Without sufficient user communities, experiences are forced to become B2B2C. Without well-chosen frictionless performance, cross-media, visionary raw bandwidth are forced to become customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think cross-platform. Think efficient. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly enable compelling media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!