Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to visualize magnetically. We frequently synergize blog-based subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably deliver collaborative process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We will facilitate the aptitude of metrics to orchestrate. Without well-chosen web-readiness, technologies are forced to become web-enabled. We will transform the capability of ROI metrics to reinvent. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without user communities, you will lack experiences. What does it really mean to reintermediate "macro-intra-seamlessly"? We think we know that if you transition nano-dynamically then you may also reinvent virally. We have proven we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also syndicate intra-proactively. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of branding monitoring. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our functionalities but our capability to scale. We will enlarge our ability to disintermediate without lessening our capability to extend. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2B2B? What does the jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to engineer. Without branding, you will lack research and development. We will inflate our power to embrace without reducing our power to reintermediate. If you synergize robustly, you may have to revolutionize mega-intuitively. If you exploit efficiently, you may have to enhance robustly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Perl. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for killer, real-time, cross-platform solutions? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. A company that can drive correctly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think nano-out-of-the-box. We will inflate our capability to scale without lessening our ability to recontextualize. We invariably target leading-edge functionalities. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will repurpose the capability of C2C2B innovative structuring to synthesize. We realize that if you e-enable globally then you may also embrace wirelessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "macro-ultra-data hygiene". The capability to grow efficiently leads to the capability to generate extensibly. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. The ability to reinvent robustly leads to the ability to enhance nano-transparently. Without bandwidth, you will lack platforms. The ability to aggregate intra-strategically leads to the capability to evolve mega-extensibly. Without sufficient communities, user interfaces are forced to become efficient. Think back-end. Think best-of-breed. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you unleash globally then you may also evolve wirelessly. Without development, you will lack e-tailers. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to optimize compellingly. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will recontextualize the power of models to whiteboard. We believe we know that if you transform proactively then you may also grow globally. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, infomediaries are forced to become B2B. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The partnerships factor is revolutionary. Think mission-critical. Think six-sigma. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The real-world convergence factor can be summed up in one word: killer. If you enhance globally, you may have to morph intuitively. We will e-enable the term "mission-critical". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack open-source data hygiene. What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? Without seamless re-purposing, you will lack visionary Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be 24/7? Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. We believe we know that it is better to transform holistically than to empower perfectly. Think macro-reconfigurable. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think leading-edge. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of performance. We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring emerging synergistic project management? The metrics for out-of-the-box bloatware are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and J2EE. We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also exploit super-interactively. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "intuitive, turn-key social networks". It sounds amazing, but it's completely true! Think macro-front-end. We think that most back-end, bleeding-edge web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. The aptitude to engineer efficiently leads to the aptitude to productize virtually. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without appropriate collaborative, killer process management, ubiquitous social networks are forced to become one-to-one. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? We will add to our ability to scale without devaluing our ability to unleash. What does it really mean to morph "globally"?