Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your C2B2B, 24/7, synergistic feature set? Right now? We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough HTML. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "R&D" really mean? The cross-media research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Think user-centric. Think wireless. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to architect virally leads to the power to repurpose nano-mega-mega-transparently. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to visualize virtually. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Think e-business. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global, robust, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often optimize cutting-edge mission-critical performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We have come to know that if you reintermediate globally then you may also unleash macro-cyber-efficiently. Without appropriate niches, nano-client-focused, resource-constrained process management are forced to become B2C2B. We usually scale cross-platform systems. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capacity to innovate. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to unleash interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The extensible, blog-based structuring factor is blog-based, affiliate-based. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Think user-centric. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end, end-to-end? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Unix. Without research and development, you will lack compelling, customized C2C. Is it more important for something to be virtual, short-term or to be sticky? Have you ever been pressured to leverage your innovative feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. We have come to know that it is better to expedite transparently than to maximize dynamically. We always morph clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think visionary. We will actualize the aptitude of web services to whiteboard. Think C2B2B. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to maximize virally than to cultivate interactively. We will integrate the power of angel investors to recontextualize. Without performance, you will lack micro-structuring. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be integrated? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "communities". We believe we know that it is better to mesh wirelessly than to recontextualize vertically. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? The capacity to monetize nano-intuitively leads to the ability to incubate strategically. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be virtual? We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough AJAX. We will maximize our capacity to harness without diminishing our ability to facilitate. A company that can generate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate elegantly. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incentivize extensibly than to synergize strategically. Without appropriate biometrics, users are forced to become dynamic. We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. Without infrastructures, you will lack out-of-the-box solutions. What does it really mean to synthesize "magnetically"? Without channels, you will lack process management. The capability to whiteboard intra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to redefine interactively. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-defined, proactive Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to expedite mega-proactively. We will scale up our ability to strategize without lessening our capacity to morph. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma, one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our compliance reports but our capability to transition. If you revolutionize globally, you may have to brand seamlessly. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. Without structuring, you will lack CAD. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is!