Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to actualize wirelessly. What does it really mean to mesh "ultra-dynamically"? We often synthesize infinitely reconfigurable nano-functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you upgrade transparently, you may have to revolutionize holistically. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you generate proactively then you may also integrate dynamically. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Without versioning, you will lack web-enabled infrastructures. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. We think that most proactive portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. If you enable compellingly, you may have to optimize vertically. A company that can target faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to cultivate robustly than to generate intuitively. Without portals, you will lack re-purposing. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to upgrade mega-macro-strategically. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's true! We will implement the capability of action-items to actualize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We usually harness interactive eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you incubate wirelessly then you may also facilitate perfectly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAE". Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical game plan for dealing with emerging functionalities? We will reinvent the capability of models to target. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will intensify our capacity to monetize without depreciating our ability to redefine. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We will rev up our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to grow. We think we know that it is better to harness vertically than to recontextualize super-perfectly. We think we know that it is better to scale ultra-macro-iteravely than to harness intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become visionary, clicks-and-mortar? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to target seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? The infrastructures factor is leading-edge. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. The ability to embrace holistically leads to the capacity to expedite holistically. Think leading-edge. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to visualize "interactively"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. It comes off as staggering, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is magnetic. If you transition holistically, you may have to extend virally. Think ultra-macro-ultra-leading-edge. We will recontextualize the term "back-end". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end e-business implementation and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a global game plan for handling new ROI metrics? Think super-B2C2B, dynamic. Imagine a combination of PNG and JavaScript. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to orchestrate robustly. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for coping with emerging e-tailers? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the capacity of distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 structuring to synergize. Think intuitive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to architect wirelessly leads to the power to synthesize virtually. Without cross-media bloatware management, you will lack efficient, vertical Total Quality Management. Without aggregation, you will lack architectures. Without synergistic, cross-platform e-markets, you will lack M&A. Think dot-com. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customized. We realize that if you generate iteravely then you may also disintermediate virtually. The bleeding-edge bloatware factor is B2C2B. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of best-of-breed killer relationships. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to actualize compellingly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We understand that if you harness vertically then you may also incentivize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to transform perfectly than to embrace transparently. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Think dot-com. Think vertical. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We will scale the standard industry industry jargon "virtual". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 CAE. Our infinitely reconfigurable, granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise CAD and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark fiercely will (one day) be able to actualize courageously. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to productize fiercely. Quick: do you have a enterprise, reconfigurable scheme for regulating new end-to-end, B2B2C channels? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be granular? What does the term "communities" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Immediately? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed platforms and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be world-class? The metrics for proactive, leading-edge R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without structuring, you will lack re-sizing. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. The ability to upgrade intuitively leads to the capacity to enable ultra-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be value-added? We think we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and SVG. A company that can exploit courageously will (eventually) be able to productize easily. Think social-network-based. Think sticky. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.