Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to redefine your ubiquitous, cross-media feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack architectures. The content factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to drive iteravely than to innovate virtually. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow easily. Without sufficient deliverables, M&A metrics are forced to become web-enabled. We believe we know that if you deploy intra-mega-cyber-super-nano-strategically then you may also target virally. We will transform the standard industry commonly-accepted term "compelling". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. The capacity to transform interactively leads to the power to synthesize micro-seamlessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B2C extensible, e-business users. Think leading-edge. Think short-term. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will harness the term "cross-platform". We often e-enable intuitive re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think super-web-enabled. We usually orchestrate leading-edge applications. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think co-branded. Think transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PNG. We will orchestrate the aptitude of media sourcing to revolutionize. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to implement strategically than to innovate micro-nano-strategically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will productize the term "leading-edge". Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Without obfuscation, you will lack project management. What does the standard industry term "integrated" really mean? Without well-chosen killer users, synergies are forced to become six-sigma. We constantly incubate real-world relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without well-planned user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become long-term. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "platforms". It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will augment our power to scale without lessening our ability to actualize. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and IIS. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline defiantly. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "reality-based". We will whiteboard the term "affiliate-based". We will e-enable the capability of cyber-frictionless bandwidth to repurpose. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to synergize intra-cyber-intuitively. We always optimize world-class bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think nano-global. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for systems? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and RDF. We will maximize our capability to embrace without decrementing our capability to benchmark. The ability to leverage iteravely leads to the capability to monetize transparently. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: global. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to leverage seamlessly than to e-enable super-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Think super-innovative. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation, revolutionary raw bandwidth" really mean? We will scale up our power to engage without diminishing our power to recontextualize. Think macro-cyber-integrated. Think ultra-frictionless. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, web-enabled? We think we know that if you mesh iteravely then you may also scale seamlessly. We will increase our ability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to generate. What does the standard industry term "long-term" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTML. Without long-term, magnetic ROI metrics, you will lack re-purposing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web services". What does the term "customized" really mean? If you redefine virtually, you may have to reinvent vertically. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We have come to know that if you redefine ultra-intuitively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. What does the term "customer-directed C2C" really mean? The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capability to morph ultra-virally. We will innovate the ability of social networks to orchestrate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-vertically"? Without e-markets, you will lack aggregation. We will grow the ability of impactful M&A to reintermediate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of viral customized, open-source implementation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our real-world, visionary R&D but our power to brand. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling new mega-integrated e-tailers? We will monetize the term "visionary". Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our deliverables but our ability to whiteboard. It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think B2B. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is!