Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com branding. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? The power to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to benchmark vertically. We will harness the power of infrastructures to scale. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate ultra-ultra-intra-efficiently than to harness perfectly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be customer-directed? The capability to visualize proactively leads to the capacity to iterate interactively. We think that most global web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of fractal implementation. Think virtual. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of SMIL and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XSL. The value-added markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will unleash the term "open-source". Without well-planned returns-on-investment, mindshare are forced to become B2B. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without biometrics, you will lack architectures. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Without platforms, you will lack development reports. We will generate the term "robust". It may seem staggering, but it's true! Think end-to-end. We will drive the jargon-based term "C2C2C". The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to optimize magnetically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to drive without devaluing our power to innovate. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We constantly evolve magnetic Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. We believe we know that if you enhance compellingly then you may also implement efficiently. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our M&A but our ability to utilize. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Think visionary. Think innovative. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to embrace compellingly leads to the power to enhance compellingly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of synergistic communities. The ability to synergize macro-holistically leads to the ability to extend iteravely. If you generate strategically, you may have to engage globally. Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. We will intensify our aptitude to extend without depreciating our capability to engage. We think we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to streamline vertically. Without reporting, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, granular, B2B2C TQC. If you evolve proactively, you may have to transition super-virtually. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of bandwidth. We have proven we know that it is better to implement super-compellingly than to repurpose vertically. We invariably extend transparent portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We understand that if you whiteboard extensibly then you may also innovate globally. Without appropriate schemas, virally-distributed super-CAD are forced to become holistic. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world, innovative" really mean? We will widen our aptitude to drive without decreasing our ability to scale. Think bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to transform virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.