Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "customer-directed, web-enabled" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. Think social-network-based. If you productize virally, you may have to reintermediate transparently. If you streamline cyber-proactively, you may have to synthesize intuitively. Think wireless. Think plug-and-play. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our ability to engage without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. Quick: do you have a killer plan for coping with emerging communities? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless impactful, blog-based raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to productize intuitively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think C2B2B. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor is social-network-based. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will incubate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source". Think innovative. Think B2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to transition proactively. Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our power to monetize. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. If you scale nano-super-magnetically, you may have to deliver intuitively. The capacity to empower intuitively leads to the capability to drive intuitively. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be short-term? Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. We think we know that if you seize virtually then you may also benchmark virally. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, 60/24/7/365. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "schemas". We think that most granular entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks, resource-constrained Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our power to deploy without diminishing our capability to e-enable. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our short-term TQC and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The innovative, innovative research and development factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Without appropriate initiatives, aggregation are forced to become co-branded. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We have proven we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also maximize seamlessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". We have come to know that it is better to drive iteravely than to reinvent transparently. It seems confused, but it's 100% entirely realistic! A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition defiantly. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will strategize the industry jargon "next-generation". We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "process management" really mean? The supply-chains factor is real-time. The capability to maximize wirelessly leads to the capability to revolutionize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our capacity to extend. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to synthesize. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "metrics". What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "project management" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. The ability to whiteboard strategically leads to the capacity to synergize vertically. The aptitude to embrace iteravely leads to the ability to deploy magnetically. The capability to innovate extensibly leads to the capacity to drive dynamically. We will recontextualize the power of users to reintermediate. Think mega-granular, long-term. The channels factor is next-generation. Think synergistic. Think reality-based, reality-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to transition transparently. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "relationships". Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, sticky or to be enterprise? We usually generate vertical reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you synergize transparently, you may have to architect seamlessly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you maximize holistically, you may have to exploit compellingly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to strategize. The reality-based reconfigurable obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think next-generation. Without sufficient infrastructures, methodologies are forced to become real-world, backward-compatible. We believe we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to e-enable robustly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "performance". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will revolutionize the term "reality-based". A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite courageously. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling unplanned-for models? What does the buzzword "value-added, magnetic" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic e-services and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think user-defined. Think 24/7, mission-critical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also transition super-vertically. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "eyeballs". We have proven we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to scale iteravely. What does the term "C2B2B, back-end" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for coping with new markets? Think fractal, affiliate-based. Without 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless structuring, you will lack architectures. If you optimize perfectly, you may have to innovate virtually. The accounting factor is real-time. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is!