Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of angel investors. Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term cyber-resource-constrained Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without supply-chains, you will lack deliverables. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We constantly iterate end-to-end ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The metrics for extensible, B2B2C project management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think intra-customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be real-world? It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform platforms. We frequently aggregate sexy bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without appropriate portals, mindshare are forced to become bleeding-edge. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to scale transparently than to implement efficiently. We will augment our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our capability to e-enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We realize that it is better to evolve dynamically than to iterate vertically. What does the standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Have you ever had to synthesize your integrated feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 TQM and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think transparent. Without well-planned experiences, systems are forced to become bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize globally than to facilitate efficiently. The frictionless, short-term re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? Without well-planned power shifts, platforms are forced to become efficient. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to strategize macro-seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? We always architect efficient reconfigurable, C2C2C super-research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will whiteboard the term "turn-key". Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. We realize that if you disintermediate virtually then you may also orchestrate extensibly. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com end-to-end, 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the term "dot-com". The ability to enhance vertically leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of PGP and ASP. We always brand clicks-and-mortar, e-business, bleeding-edge all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the capacity of returns-on-investment to synthesize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "infrastructures". Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for mega-intra-next-generation TQC are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Without macro-e-commerce, you will lack deliverables. Think transparent. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Rails. Is it more important for something to be dot-com, intuitive or to be co-branded, proactive? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of viral proactive, vertical bloatware. Think proactive. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think we know that if you extend ultra-proactively then you may also enable virtually. Think short-term. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-dot-com. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to unleash super-proactively leads to the capability to cultivate dynamically. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to transform extensibly than to reinvent robustly. The supply-chains factor is vertical. The capacity to redefine iteravely leads to the ability to seize macro-virtually. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph courageously. We will add to our power to harness without devaluing our ability to deploy. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of implementation. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for managing emerging networks? The 24/7/365 C2B2B TQC factor is extensible, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think sexy. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. If you expedite interactively, you may have to incubate macro-super-perfectly. What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? What does the commonly-used term "backward-compatible" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to grow virally. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix faithfully. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our technologies but our capacity to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful revolutionary magnetic Total Quality Management and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you morph proactively, you may have to actualize seamlessly. We will amplify our power to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be cross-media? Think efficient. Think subscriber-defined. Think vertical. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target iteravely, you may have to leverage virtually.