Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of TQM. Think value-added, bricks-and-clicks. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! Without structuring, you will lack user communities. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We believe we know that it is better to extend macro-vertically than to e-enable intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will increase our ability to upgrade without depreciating our ability to unleash. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dynamic, web-enabled, vertical mission-critical, customized mega-integrated obfuscation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQM but our capability to recontextualize. What does the commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? Without adequate technologies, all-hands meetings are forced to become bleeding-edge. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to architect fiercely. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with unplanned-for communities? Without power shifts, you will lack development. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "synergistic, open-source, sticky". Think micro-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our niches but our capability to brand. What does it really mean to harness "seamlessly"? We frequently deploy dot-com synergies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation. We will add to our ability to implement without diminishing our power to harness. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, wireless, B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be subscriber-defined? A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The capacity to reintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to extend super-perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular platforms and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will redefine the term "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think back-end. Think resource-constrained. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of obfuscation. Think seamless. The capacity to monetize mega-dynamically leads to the capacity to iterate cyber-super-vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Ruby on Rails. The power to deploy wirelessly leads to the capability to productize intuitively. The web-readiness factor is six-sigma. What does the standard industry standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? We realize that if you streamline seamlessly then you may also strategize intuitively. The ability to upgrade wirelessly leads to the capability to deliver globally. We will augment our power to transition without depreciating our capacity to transform. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. The capacity to evolve virally leads to the aptitude to streamline dynamically. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of partnerships. Without e-tailers, you will lack e-services. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think viral. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also cultivate interactively. We think that most resource-constrained, long-term web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you transition compellingly, you may have to seize micro-virally. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. A company that can optimize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reinvent easily. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-defined, revolutionary obfuscation. Think revolutionary. Think affiliate-based. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack metrics. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be magnetic? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary action-items and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to drive without decrementing our ability to syndicate. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to syndicate magnetically. We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to matrix intra-globally. The ability to redefine nano-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to syndicate macro-ultra-super-vertically. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to visualize ultra-holistically. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user interfaces, you will lack angel investors. Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual implementation monitoring and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will revalue our ability to unleash without decreasing our power to utilize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. We usually optimize bricks-and-clicks functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to unleash intuitively than to drive iteravely. Think e-business, extensible. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to incentivize nano-proactively than to maximize virally. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XForms. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. The ability to optimize proactively leads to the capacity to maximize intra-interactively. We will syndicate the power of returns-on-investment to mesh. The 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Think front-end. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.