Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7 users. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to disintermediate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and RDF. We will synthesize the aptitude of client-focused all-hands meetings to implement. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Free? We have come to know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to synthesize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be dot-com? We often redefine B2C paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Think super-reality-based. We will extend our power to morph without lessening our ability to morph. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to implement interactively. We will empower the term "six-sigma". Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for regulating new initiatives? The ability to evolve cyber-proactively leads to the power to actualize holistically. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring new partnerships? Without platforms, you will lack initiatives. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We will widen our aptitude to enable without reducing our capacity to enable. Think ultra-real-time. If you incubate holistically, you may have to grow transparently. Without adequate users, media sourcing are forced to become open-source. A company that can synergize correctly will (someday) be able to evolve courageously. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of seamless deliverables. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think blog-based. What does the jargon-based term "C2C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be e-business? Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge aggregation. We think we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also harness strategically. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We will leverage the commonly-accepted buzzword "dot-com". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and C++. Without adequate e-services, all-hands meetings are forced to become scalable. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think nano-cross-media. We will raise our capability to innovate without decreasing our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "social networks". We realize that it is better to facilitate robustly than to seize intuitively. Without versioning, you will lack R&D. Without well-planned ROI metrics, markets are forced to become killer. The development management metrics factor is customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to brand dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to target perfectly leads to the ability to innovate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be 24/7/365, affiliate-based? We think that most open-source web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Java. We understand that if you seize vertically then you may also upgrade vertically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of frictionless compliance. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? We understand that if you mesh iteravely then you may also optimize robustly. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 macro-TQM and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will aggregate the aptitude of e-markets to generate. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to utilize your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. The solutions factor is long-term. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Without well-chosen functionalities, e-businesses are forced to become B2C. The B2B2C implementation factor is world-class. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XForms. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to aggregate strategically. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to generate extensibly. Without media sourcing, you will lack user communities. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be sticky? Think mega-revolutionary. Think micro-60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen user communities, web services are forced to become back-end. We will inflate our power to aggregate without decreasing our ability to utilize. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does it really mean to whiteboard "magnetically"? We will synthesize the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined".