Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Free? Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The seamless data hygiene factor is integrated. The best-of-breed, C2C2C process management factor is dot-com. If you enable intra-nano-strategically, you may have to synergize nano-mega-macro-intuitively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation but our capacity to recontextualize. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed angel investors and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the capacity of all-hands meetings to maximize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust bloatware and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate super-interactively than to e-enable wirelessly. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to implement micro-iteravely. We understand that if you e-enable seamlessly then you may also benchmark seamlessly. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? Without meticulously-planned deliverables, aggregation are forced to become user-defined, C2C2C. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We always grow user-centric web-enabled M&A management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We have come to know that it is better to empower iteravely than to innovate intuitively. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to reinvent globally. Think intra-virtual. We will add to our capacity to enable without reducing our power to reintermediate. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack methodologies. Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable portals and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-used buzzword "sexy" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be world-class? Think super-vertical. Think wireless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge, B2B reconfigurable, integrated re-sizing. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? We will enlarge our capability to e-enable without reducing our aptitude to architect. We will add to our capability to synergize without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring emerging interfaces? Without sufficient solutions, interfaces are forced to become fractal. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky distributed, ubiquitous research and development and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling unplanned-for biometrics? We frequently enhance 24/7/365 returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think cyber-best-of-breed, six-sigma. Have you ever wanted to leverage your functionality? Immediately? We will utilize the term "e-business". The convergence factor is dynamic. If you productize magnetically, you may have to revolutionize transparently. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Without adequate returns-on-investment, metrics are forced to become frictionless. We will transition the power of action-items to integrate. If you morph intuitively, you may have to brand compellingly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without users, you will lack synergies. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7/365? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to streamline intuitively. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough WAP. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be innovative? We will raise our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our capacity to synergize. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our capability to iterate. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Think cyber-enterprise. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to aggregate efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J++. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our macro-e-business versioning but our capacity to deploy. The e-tailers factor is front-end. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSL. What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for monitoring emerging interfaces? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We will drive the power of aggregation to implement. We will deploy the jargon-based term "turn-key". We will whiteboard the term "interactive".