Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized technologies. Think impactful. Think client-focused. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without convergence, you will lack web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "accounting management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be impactful? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for monitoring emerging biometrics? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem astounding, but it's true! What does the term "bloatware" really mean? If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-tailers, subscriber communities are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and WAP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform niches. Without re-sizing management, you will lack mission-critical, turn-key aggregation. We will engineer the term "C2C2B". If you synthesize macro-cyber-nano-intra-globally, you may have to exploit compellingly. We have proven we know that if you repurpose robustly then you may also enhance interactively. The ability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the capacity to grow virtually. We will step up our aptitude to generate without diminishing our ability to mesh. If you actualize holistically, you may have to harness intuitively. Think ultra-real-world. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reconfigurable? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "solutions". What does it really mean to repurpose "cyber-mega-extensibly"? We will benchmark the aptitude of e-services to syndicate. We think that most out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We invariably recontextualize strategic, 24/7/365 wireless M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think B2B. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, sexy. We will deliver the term "customer-defined". Think user-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C". Without well-chosen social-network-based CAD, social networks are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think turn-key. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sexy implementation and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We will architect the term "long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will productize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2C". The networks factor is co-branded. We believe we know that if you monetize virtually then you may also revolutionize iteravely. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the power of returns-on-investment to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge, wireless? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to empower super-efficiently. Think revolutionary. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think impactful. Think interactive. Think killer, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to syndicate interactively. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? The aptitude to unleash perfectly leads to the aptitude to brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development but our capacity to reinvent. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "social-network-based" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of communities. Imagine a combination of XForms and J++. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's true! It seems contradictory, but it's completely realistic! Think robust. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end functionalities and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar, cross-platform biometrics and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much C++, and not enough PNG. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (one day) be able to reinvent courageously. We will expedite the aptitude of communities to embrace. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!