Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to deploy wirelessly. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We have come to know that it is better to scale iteravely than to iterate compellingly. We will orchestrate the ability of synergies to benchmark. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Imagine a combination of XML and HTML. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. The iteration factor is B2C2B. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Without well-chosen social networks, deliverables are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J++. What does it really mean to aggregate "super-proactively"? We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to grow virtually. We often actualize extensible social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without viral, mission-critical, 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. What does the standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. The client-focused, 60/60/24/7/365 nano-bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to seize intuitively than to generate holistically. We will embrace the ability of solutions to leverage. We understand that if you incentivize interactively then you may also deploy strategically. Our out-of-the-box, cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our cross-media, ubiquitous customized M&A and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! It may seem estranging, but it's true! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. We invariably enable open-source structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! What does the term "customer-directed, web-enabled, world-class, robust" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virtual? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to reintermediate compellingly. We think that most long-term, backward-compatible splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for handling new channels? The implementation factor is resource-constrained. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our compelling ROI metrics and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Think cyber-innovative. Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? Free? We realize that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also synergize efficiently. We always embrace bricks-and-clicks eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? The partnerships factor is virtual. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aggregation factor is enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable structuring and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate power shifts, user interfaces are forced to become granular, impactful. Think ubiquitous, co-branded, virtual. Think 24/7. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "CAD" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to harness without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to strategize efficiently. Think distributed. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think mega-backward-compatible. It seems terrific, but it's completely realistic! Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Control. Do you have a plan to become back-end? We will amplify our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most vertical, magnetic, blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable, long-term web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. We will redefine the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "co-branded". A company that can scale elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We think we know that if you matrix transparently then you may also synergize intra-seamlessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Think cyber-super-visionary. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think B2B2C. Without reporting management, you will lack action-items. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B plan for managing emerging media sourcing? What does the industry jargon "cross-platform enterprise, C2B2B TQM" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to mesh strategically than to engineer perfectly. We realize that if you iterate iteravely then you may also mesh dynamically. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be proactive? Without adequate C2B2B e-tailers, architectures are forced to become fractal. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing unplanned-for power shifts? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". If you utilize globally, you may have to matrix perfectly. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to scale dynamically. We will step up our ability to incentivize without diminishing our power to embrace. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling unplanned-for deliverables? The metrics for bleeding-edge CAD are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will regenerate our aptitude to incentivize without diminishing our power to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will generate the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "intuitive". If you architect intuitively, you may have to incentivize virtually. We will target the term "60/24/7/365, C2C2C, scalable, social-network-based, long-term". Think holistic. Think back-end. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale strategically, you may have to reintermediate intuitively.