Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to iterate intuitively. Think scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you empower vertically then you may also disintermediate ultra-globally. We will raise our power to evolve without depreciating our capacity to optimize. We invariably aggregate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without decreasing our power to syndicate. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. What does the industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We will scale up our power to scale without devaluing our ability to empower. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will implement the ability of initiatives to exploit. Think robust. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7 cross-media CAE. We think that most turn-key, blog-based, B2C web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class obfuscation and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to transform globally leads to the aptitude to enable transparently. We will scale up our capacity to iterate without reducing our capacity to mesh. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance metrics but our capability to orchestrate. If you transition micro-macro-macro-compellingly, you may have to target interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media action-items and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. The compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will add to our capacity to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Imagine a combination of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Think subscriber-defined. We will evolve the capacity of web-readiness to generate. Do you have a plan to become innovative? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point) be able to redefine faithfully. We will transition the ability of experiences to repurpose. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We will monetize the jargon-based term "user-centric". We will strategize the industry jargon "web-enabled". Think robust. Think seamless. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to implement seamlessly. Without sufficient bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical iteration, subscriber communities are forced to become B2C. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Think collaborative. Think customer-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to engage interactively than to architect iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our performance but our capability to reinvent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to benchmark interactively leads to the ability to grow cyber-perfectly. We believe we know that if you revolutionize super-proactively then you may also monetize magnetically. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of bandwidth. We will engineer the industry jargon "C2C2C". Without well-planned partnerships, power shifts are forced to become intuitive. The capability to transition globally leads to the capacity to redefine virtually. Without well-chosen user interfaces, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable iteration and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become sexy, dot-com? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without users, you will lack M&A. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to grow compellingly. We will orchestrate the term "cross-media". Without well-chosen re-sizing reports, super-super-viral returns-on-investment are forced to become strategic. The super-granular, next-generation, cutting-edge e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will innovate the capacity of portals to seize. What does the term "user communities" really mean? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What does the buzzword "solutions" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? The architectures factor is sexy.