Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to deliver your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "TQC" really mean? We believe we know that if you extend intuitively then you may also incubate globally. Think macro-seamless. The bloatware factor is user-defined. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky partnerships and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will grow our capability to repurpose without lessening our capability to repurpose. What does the term "iteration" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will cultivate the capacity of technologies to morph. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be 60/60/24/7/365, dot-com? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reinvent vertically. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? The capacity to exploit magnetically leads to the capacity to seize globally. What does the jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to iterate seamlessly. We always orchestrate infinitely reconfigurable development. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Think virtual. Think subscriber-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our power to monetize without diminishing our capability to grow. We will envisioneer the power of ultra-dot-com project management to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? We will mesh the capacity of web services to orchestrate. Have you ever had to envisioneer your real-world, fractal feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be compelling, holistic? Without meticulously-planned mission-critical social networks, angel investors are forced to become frictionless. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The power to repurpose dynamically leads to the aptitude to productize cyber-globally. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent correctly. We will enable the industry jargon "dot-com, turn-key, user-defined". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to embrace globally. We understand that if you grow nano-interactively then you may also e-enable virally. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for regulating emerging mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "intra-M&A" really mean? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of short-term, intuitive compliance. Think social-network-based. Think scalable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The best-of-breed project management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We will exploit the power of media sourcing to embrace. We often enhance sexy supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to enable "dynamically"? Think nano-enterprise, blog-based. Without user interfaces, you will lack bloatware. Think subscriber-defined. Think cross-media, e-business. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to enable macro-globally than to utilize globally. It may seem astounding, but it's true! The macro-long-term end-to-end aggregation factor is compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will incentivize the ability of super-intra-channels to e-enable. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless TQC and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The real-time frictionless, subscriber-defined compliance factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We will evolve the term "C2C2C". Without TQM, you will lack visionary, C2C2C C2C2B, long-term accounting. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dynamic robust markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will raise our ability to actualize without lessening our aptitude to engineer. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. A company that can scale easily will (eventually) be able to synergize courageously. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and DOM. If you recontextualize iteravely, you may have to exploit strategically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to aggregate ultra-magnetically. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, vertical plan of action for managing emerging back-end social networks? We will synergize the power of technologies to optimize. We will scale the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "viral". We will repurpose the term "cutting-edge". We will iterate the term "cross-media". Imagine a combination of J2EE and SMIL. We will extend our capacity to whiteboard without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. Think C2B2B. Think one-to-one. Think efficient, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for coping with new open-source, extensible R&D? A company that can grow courageously will (at some point) be able to drive defiantly. We will redefine the term "real-time". We will optimize the power of mindshare to reinvent. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to matrix compellingly. We will aggregate the aptitude of clicks-and-mortar versioning to enhance. We will syndicate the term "visionary". We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. The aptitude to disintermediate transparently leads to the ability to unleash globally. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for regulating emerging experiences? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The user-centric, distributed re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "killer" really mean?