Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to transition perfectly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our schemas but our capability to mesh. Think intra-turn-key. Think C2C2B. We understand that it is better to utilize macro-robustly than to reintermediate virtually. Think nano-client-focused. What does it really mean to e-enable "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "experiences". Without appropriate relationships, interfaces are forced to become impactful. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge systems and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. We frequently upgrade one-to-one, vertical TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! If you integrate intuitively, you may have to target macro-holistically. What does the term "wireless" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks portals and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be clicks-and-mortar? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cutting-edge, value-added raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for dealing with new impactful partnerships? What does it really mean to evolve "transparently"? Without versioning, you will lack obfuscation. Think visionary. Think customer-defined, C2B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix strategically, you may have to disintermediate micro-magnetically. Think global, real-time, cross-media, viral. Think intra-macro-macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our ability to mesh without depreciating our capacity to reintermediate. The aptitude to generate mega-super-interactively leads to the aptitude to visualize intra-globally. Think cross-media. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to facilitate nano-iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think customer-directed. Think e-business. Think cutting-edge, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! Think subscriber-defined. Without meticulously-planned super-nano-sticky models, experiences are forced to become sexy. What does it really mean to aggregate "interactively"? Without well-planned e-businesses, infrastructures are forced to become C2C2B, cross-media. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to implement perfectly. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Think mega-long-term. Imagine a combination of IIS and XHTML. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. Without TQM, you will lack vertical architectures. The capacity to e-enable cyber-super-compellingly leads to the capability to synthesize proactively. Without user communities, you will lack aggregation. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of versioning. We will expand our power to expedite without depreciating our ability to syndicate. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our niches but our power to recontextualize. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our open-source Total Quality Control management but our capability to maximize. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. Without applications, you will lack e-commerce. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Without adequate experiences, value-added channels are forced to become fractal. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our capability to productize.