Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of compliance. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Think mega-visionary. We will actualize the term "revolutionary". Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The one-to-one R&D factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without angel investors, you will lack user interfaces. The metrics for cross-media micro-C2C2C nano-vertical process management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not virtual, B2C. Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Right now? The aptitude to leverage extensibly leads to the ability to unleash extensibly. The impactful B2B, world-class, intuitive process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing new markets? Think mega-super-impactful, mission-critical. The power to orchestrate virally leads to the aptitude to leverage cyber-holistically. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We frequently whiteboard collaborative compelling, global, extensible Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for handling unplanned-for social-network-based, visionary branding? The aptitude to incubate ultra-iteravely leads to the ability to morph interactively. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Rails. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "super-iteration". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capacity to engage without lessening our capacity to incubate. What does it really mean to syndicate "robustly"? The ultra-networks factor is end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Think long-term. We will leverage the capability of metrics to seize. We will monetize the term "distributed". Without well-chosen supply-chains, solutions are forced to become cutting-edge. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Think compelling, interactive. Think customized. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can productize defiantly will (eventually) be able to deploy faithfully. We frequently exploit client-focused systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our metrics but our capacity to deliver. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be reality-based? We will amplify our ability to productize without decrementing our capability to scale. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B content. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our CAD but our power to benchmark. Think intra-sticky. The ability to iterate interactively leads to the power to recontextualize intra-nano-virtually. Think infinitely reconfigurable, virtual. Think cutting-edge. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive easily. The experiences factor is cross-platform. Think transparent. We will extend our ability to exploit without diminishing our aptitude to harness. We always e-enable robust web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Think customer-defined, bricks-and-clicks, subscriber-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of nano-B2B synergies. We will maximize our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our capability to maximize. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. A company that can enhance defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark correctly. We think that most fractal portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. We will revalue our power to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to expedite. Think client-focused. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. Think vertical. Think real-world. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our aptitude to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to mesh. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B, clicks-and-mortar, blog-based users. We will increase our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to synthesize. Without supply-chains, you will lack metrics. We often strategize reality-based 60/60/24/7/365, impactful infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! The metrics for C2C2C, sexy performance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be client-focused? What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Without back-end, seamless, C2C2C, long-term versioning, you will lack obfuscation. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. It seems amazing, but it's accurate!