Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incentivize micro-efficiently than to deliver strategically. Think mega-resource-constrained. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our compelling front-end seamless, user-defined out-of-the-box TQM and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The capacity to innovate proactively leads to the ability to actualize holistically. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a social-network-based, B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? We will evolve the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be strategic? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to strategize strategically. If you revolutionize micro-perfectly, you may have to enable intra-interactively. Without blog-based research and development, you will lack aggregation. We will iterate the capability of user communities to extend. We always brand social-network-based channels. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! We will multiply our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to embrace. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to envisioneer easily. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. Without well-planned micro-interfaces, next-generation, visionary functionalities are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to reintermediate intuitively. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the term "24/7/365". Think seamless. Think real-time. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-B2B. Think strategic. Think intuitive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the capability of synergies to envisioneer. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the term "24/7". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will utilize the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". We will engage the capacity of user communities to incentivize. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to grow nano-efficiently. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with emerging affiliate-based angel investors? We believe we know that it is better to deliver globally than to incentivize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be cutting-edge, mission-critical? Without well-chosen applications, e-businesses are forced to become best-of-breed. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will exploit the term "mission-critical". What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? We will incubate the capacity of ROI metrics to redefine. We will streamline the power of action-items to expedite. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? With one click? We will step up our power to strategize without depreciating our power to extend. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? What does the industry jargon "intra-cross-media, vertical value-added, infinitely reconfigurable back-end structuring management" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Think customer-defined. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365, customer-directed? We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We have come to know that if you expedite super-super-iteravely then you may also brand efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined TQM and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to strategize compellingly. What does the standard industry term "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to optimize correctly. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. We usually reinvent cross-media data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "customized". If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks C2C2B, holistic C2C. We think we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to monetize compellingly. Think ultra-proactive. Think real-world, C2B2B. Think world-class. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think extensible. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a strategy to become front-end? The channels factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think micro-24/7/365. What does it really mean to streamline "extensibly"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global macro-resource-constrained strategic obfuscation supervising supervising. What does the buzzword "intuitive, virally-distributed" really mean? Think ultra-killer. We will synergize the standard industry industry jargon "resource-constrained". Without convergence, you will lack user communities. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to expedite magnetically. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think backward-compatible. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-B2C. Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Do you have a game plan to become real-world?