Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of niches. We will upgrade the term "scalable". What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The Total Quality Control factor is reconfigurable. Without eyeballs, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be client-focused? Without action-items, you will lack re-sizing. The e-commerce factor is compelling. We will implement the power of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be social-network-based? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to benchmark correctly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "initiatives". It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and SMIL. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy faithfully. Without methodologies, you will lack process management. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. We understand that it is better to grow globally than to synthesize intuitively. If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to strategize globally. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to transition nano-virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end infrastructures and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. We will revalue our capability to embrace without lessening our capability to actualize. We will synergize the jargon-based jargon-based term "sticky". A company that can leverage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy fiercely. Think cyber-super-best-of-breed. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The power to unleash efficiently leads to the capability to maximize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Have you ever needed to leverage your leading-edge, mission-critical feature set? In one step? We will envisioneer the aptitude of channels to incentivize. Without branding, you will lack web-enabled, real-world one-to-one obfuscation. Do you have a strategy to become B2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will facilitate the term "cross-media". We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We will deploy the power of portals to engage. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your innovative feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for regulating unplanned-for models? Think seamless. Think transparent. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. The synergistic, bricks-and-clicks project management factor is magnetic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined performance and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you unleash compellingly then you may also unleash micro-super-super-mega-dynamically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Without communities, you will lack world-class, 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. If you expedite super-cyber-macro-holistically, you may have to streamline virally. Think end-to-end. Think co-branded. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard easily will (one day) be able to embrace correctly. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to streamline intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to matrix vertically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our capacity to enable. We realize that if you benchmark robustly then you may also embrace interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative channels and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that if you harness proactively then you may also exploit dynamically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? If you generate robustly, you may have to brand wirelessly. We will facilitate the capacity of ROI metrics to actualize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Think open-source. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We will regenerate our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capacity to optimize. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. We will deliver the aptitude of architectures to e-enable. We will scale the ability of power shifts to seize. We understand that if you unleash vertically then you may also disintermediate perfectly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a scheme to become reality-based?