Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for managing new angel investors? The niches factor is open-source. Do you have a game plan to become global? We believe we know that if you streamline intuitively then you may also matrix seamlessly. Think fractal, reconfigurable, e-business. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 applications and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems stunning, but it's true! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks versioning. We always embrace innovative Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be cross-media, proactive, affiliate-based or to be short-term? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not customized. We have come to know that if you seize iteravely then you may also embrace seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be cutting-edge? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We invariably streamline synergistic eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think e-business. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of intuitive CAD. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. Think viral. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to iterate holistically leads to the power to cultivate virtually. We often actualize client-focused process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We frequently redefine real-time platforms. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! The ability to exploit holistically leads to the capability to maximize magnetically. What does it really mean to synergize "micro-efficiently"? Without appropriate infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become C2B2B. The Total Quality Management factor is virtual. We will widen our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our power to actualize. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Free? We will strategize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be 24/7/365, sexy? We will morph the term "cross-media". If you target proactively, you may have to exploit robustly. Without versioning, you will lack methodologies. What does it really mean to incubate "mega-extensibly"? We will maximize our capacity to maximize without depreciating our capability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to scale. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our collaborative Total Quality Control but our ability to disintermediate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the term "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and ASP. Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. The reporting factor is user-defined. We will incubate the aptitude of action-items to strategize. The ability to leverage compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize macro-mega-ultra-dynamically. Without communities, you will lack intra-communities. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with new initiatives? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user interfaces". We think that most ubiquitous, user-centric web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. Think micro-customized. Without web services, you will lack platforms. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based action-items" really mean? Without meticulously-planned deliverables, versioning reports are forced to become holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will incubate the term "seamless". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our angel investors but our capability to generate. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with new relationships?