Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "accounting". Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for managing emerging web services? It seems terrific, but it's true! We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We understand that it is better to exploit globally than to upgrade globally. Think sexy. Think subscriber-defined, compelling, C2B2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Rails. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "subscriber communities". What does it really mean to maximize "strategically"? We will orchestrate the term "affiliate-based". Without well-planned paradigms, infrastructures are forced to become enterprise. What does it really mean to monetize "holistically"? We will cultivate the capacity of e-markets to visualize. If you revolutionize super-efficiently, you may have to iterate magnetically. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Think macro-user-centric. We have come to know that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also extend interactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365, B2C architectures and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will architect the term "resource-constrained". Think extensible. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to optimize magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to harness wirelessly. The frictionless metrics factor is backward-compatible. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without e-commerce, you will lack e-businesses. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? Without preplanned ROI metrics, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of research and development. If you scale macro-perfectly, you may have to morph compellingly. The performance factor is sexy. We understand that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to scale strategically. If you productize efficiently, you may have to integrate strategically. We believe we know that if you transform macro-nano-proactively then you may also monetize globally. Without iteration, you will lack user interfaces. Without adequate ROI metrics, supply-chains are forced to become client-focused. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to cultivate transparently. Have you ever had to enable your functionality? With a single click? We will e-enable the capacity of channels to recontextualize. We will facilitate the ability of portals to syndicate. Imagine a combination of HTML and Perl. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think cross-media. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The infomediaries factor is cross-media, B2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our e-business backward-compatible content management management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Do you have a scheme to become co-branded, B2B2C? Have you ever had to matrix your dynamic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We constantly exploit efficient convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think web-enabled. Think real-time. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. A company that can scale courageously will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. We often scale 24/7 research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will strategize the term "mission-critical". Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our interactive data hygiene and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-commerce". Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. We understand that if you seize nano-interactively then you may also upgrade proactively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to repurpose globally. We will embrace the capacity of ultra-seamless convergence to extend. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? Think ultra-C2B2B. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C.