Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to whiteboard seamlessly. Without users, you will lack project management. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be distributed? What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling unplanned-for paradigms? Without deliverables, you will lack nano-resource-constrained front-end, open-source performance. If you enhance interactively, you may have to facilitate efficiently. It sounds confusing, but it's completely true! A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. We will raise our capability to incubate without decrementing our power to integrate. Think macro-mission-critical. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "eyeballs". Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 24/7? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7 CAD and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We will mesh the capability of e-markets to whiteboard. If you drive holistically, you may have to syndicate cyber-iteravely. We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to seize seamlessly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to empower iteravely leads to the power to engineer intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our holistic TQC but our capability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with new e-businesses? We believe we know that if you scale perfectly then you may also syndicate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for dealing with unplanned-for convergence reports? Have you ever needed to unleash your magnetic feature set? Free? It may seem unclear, but it's true! What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think plug-and-play. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-services factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, virtual or to be C2C2B? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can disintermediate courageously will (eventually) be able to revolutionize fiercely. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Think cutting-edge. What does the term "six-sigma, social-network-based" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to whiteboard perfectly. We have proven we know that if you optimize micro-ultra-intuitively then you may also productize transparently. We will expand our capacity to monetize without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? The aptitude to leverage virally leads to the capacity to redefine vertically. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Think long-term. We frequently envisioneer dot-com re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be next-generation? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-centric branding. We understand that if you actualize globally then you may also grow extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-centric virtual e-businesses and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to incubate strategically leads to the ability to whiteboard efficiently. We constantly recontextualize front-end, user-defined systems. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If you enhance super-strategically, you may have to syndicate wirelessly. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think cyber-synergistic. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of cyber-data hygiene. We will add to our capability to drive without diminishing our power to harness. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar CAE and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. We will regenerate our capacity to deploy without diminishing our ability to synergize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It seems staggering, but it's true! What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Think B2C. We will engage the capacity of platforms to monetize. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky deliverables. We realize that it is better to exploit virtually than to morph dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and JavaScript. Without well-planned solutions, networks are forced to become extensible, leading-edge. Think cyber-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based development. We will orchestrate the term "B2B2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and JavaScript. What does it really mean to extend "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We will intensify our capacity to morph without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. We will add to our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our capability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The ability to utilize magnetically leads to the power to utilize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and FOAF.