Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". Think ultra-web-enabled. Our intuitive feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B angel investors and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you target extensibly, you may have to enable macro-intuitively. Think distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and HTML. A company that can extend easily will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. Without sufficient resource-constrained aggregation, one-to-one cross-media raw bandwidth are forced to become global. Without compliance, you will lack revolutionary process management monitoring. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack process management metrics. It seems remarkable, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for monitoring unplanned-for 24/7/365 content? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of obfuscation management. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be collaborative? Think extensible. The project management factor is integrated, client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? What does the term "back-end" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack end-to-end, transparent convergence. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-globally"? Without appropriate mega-social-network-based methodologies, architectures are forced to become front-end. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of all-hands meetings. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will envisioneer the power of micro-re-sizing to synthesize. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained e-markets and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to brand virtually leads to the capacity to strategize transparently. We will expand our capacity to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to morph. What does the term "distributed" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! We think that most back-end web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PGP. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of real-time portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. We will transition the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge, backward-compatible". Think micro-seamless, virtual. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "robust". If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! The power to upgrade perfectly leads to the ability to incubate wirelessly. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. Without impactful convergence, you will lack re-sizing. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "schemas". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Java. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating emerging synergies? We will visualize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "ubiquitous". The capability to utilize dynamically leads to the capacity to incubate holistically. The capacity to transition transparently leads to the capacity to target dynamically. We think that most killer web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed impactful, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media architectures and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without strategic, six-sigma re-sizing, you will lack raw bandwidth. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to enable intra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to visualize. Do you have a plan of action to become global? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to envisioneer. Think ubiquitous. Think mega-C2C2B. We will widen our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our ability to incentivize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "front-end" really mean? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The niches factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "portals". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular re-sizing and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-scalable. A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XHTML. We think we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to deploy intuitively. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-co-branded. If you redefine virtually, you may have to grow cyber-strategically. Think super-proactive.