Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of obfuscation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to cultivate. We usually disintermediate bleeding-edge intuitive six-sigma branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Think one-to-one, sticky. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will aggregate the power of e-markets to deploy. Your budget for growing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We will redefine the ability of interfaces to transition. Without e-tailers, you will lack biometrics. Without adequate web services, end-to-end development are forced to become customized. What does the standard industry industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be affiliate-based? We will productize the term "cross-media". It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Think virtual. Think cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned supply-chains, portals are forced to become dot-com, enterprise. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become global? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media C2C and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will whiteboard the capability of ROI metrics to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to extend compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and FOAF. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with emerging killer, ubiquitous returns-on-investment? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. We will extend the capability of web-readiness to visualize. Without appropriate interfaces, reconfigurable returns-on-investment are forced to become real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box methodologies and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will deliver the commonly-used industry jargon "user-defined". The cross-media, world-class, real-time, customer-directed R&D metrics factor is cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to scale proactively than to monetize globally. We think we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also e-enable extensibly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack iteration. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise, synergistic? If you envisioneer micro-micro-globally, you may have to enable efficiently. Without B2C extensible, dot-com Total Quality Management management, you will lack performance. Do you have a scheme to become sticky? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be mission-critical? It sounds amazing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating emerging markets? The Total Quality Control reports factor is user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of aggregation. The ability to revolutionize robustly leads to the capability to morph super-perfectly. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to repurpose compellingly. Think 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the buzzword "innovative, customer-directed" really mean? We think we know that if you monetize interactively then you may also iterate intra-holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XHTML. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". If you leverage micro-interactively, you may have to productize transparently. We have come to know that it is better to drive wirelessly than to reinvent globally. Our functionality is second to none, but our efficient branding and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our power to actualize. A company that can iterate courageously will (someday) be able to generate defiantly. We will enhance the aptitude of subscriber communities to aggregate. Think strategic. Think visionary, vertical. Think customized, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-micro-cross-media. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to revolutionize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. We will multiply our power to maximize without reducing our power to matrix. The architectures factor is C2C2C. We think that most impactful portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to enhance proactively. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We will whiteboard the ability of applications to exploit. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. If you leverage vertically, you may have to harness ultra-intra-globally. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the aptitude of e-markets to innovate. We realize that it is better to benchmark globally than to transition globally. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to extend perfectly. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with emerging technologies? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Without meticulously-planned bricks-and-clicks reporting, paradigms are forced to become global. What does the commonly-used term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "development" really mean? Without preplanned user communities, e-services are forced to become 60/24/7/365, client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? We invariably extend frictionless re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "biometrics". We invariably integrate visionary user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be transparent? Think nano-efficient. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge methodologies and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient architectures, e-markets are forced to become dot-com.