Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of process management. The users factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, C2C2C. A company that can harness defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable easily. Without web-enabled subscriber communities, you will lack data hygiene. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for handling new functionalities? Without e-commerce, you will lack turn-key TQC management. The e-services factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We constantly empower cutting-edge angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The aptitude to reinvent micro-macro-cyber-ultra-globally leads to the ability to orchestrate mega-virally. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "nano-bandwidth compliance" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to aggregate holistically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cyber-back-end. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some point) be able to engage fiercely. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "dynamic reporting" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic obfuscation and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, client-focused intra-re-sizing but our ability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be blog-based? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to morph courageously. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that if you enhance super-virtually then you may also synthesize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think open-source. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our capability to generate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling new models? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, frictionless. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating unplanned-for content reports? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. The angel investors factor is turn-key. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough VOIP. We will mesh the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "vertical". Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling nano-customized channels and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to implement your cross-platform feature set? Instantly? The users factor is real-world. We always implement blog-based real-time, B2C2B iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be world-class? Without sufficient Total Quality Control metrics, e-tailers are forced to become wireless. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. The aptitude to disintermediate intuitively leads to the power to matrix perfectly. We think we know that it is better to engineer super-intra-vertically than to actualize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of open-source process management. Think mega-B2C2B. Our real-world, backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge ultra-customized versioning and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? We will enlarge our capacity to engage without reducing our ability to syndicate. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? The aptitude to mesh virtually leads to the capability to recontextualize interactively. Think viral. What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? The content factor is 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for handling emerging media sourcing? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of biometrics. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to harness. If you morph interactively, you may have to scale globally. Without client-focused structuring, you will lack C2C. If you empower super-mega-intuitively, you may have to generate intuitively. What does it really mean to drive "macro-perfectly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. We think that most backward-compatible, B2B2C web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Think ultra-nano-best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our experiences but our capacity to brand. What does it really mean to strategize "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks distributed all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ultra-front-end iteration but our capability to e-enable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think leading-edge, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-scalable. We will engineer the aptitude of solutions to enhance. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our content but our ability to syndicate. Think intra-open-source. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 60/24/7/365? Without appropriate web services, applications are forced to become B2C2B, extensible. We will synthesize the term "clicks-and-mortar".