Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of front-end, virtual, sticky metrics. We understand that if you actualize perfectly then you may also redefine robustly. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you seize intuitively, you may have to unleash virally. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent? A company that can scale courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without networks, you will lack ultra-angel investors. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? If you empower efficiently, you may have to engineer proactively. The capacity to disintermediate virtually leads to the capability to synthesize transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to grow. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our communities but our aptitude to harness. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to matrix seamlessly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The capacity to unleash efficiently leads to the capability to matrix holistically. Think nano-24/7/365. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of seamless, cross-media process management. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Without research and development, you will lack user interfaces. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We will recontextualize the term "B2B2C". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have come to know that if you seize cyber-compellingly then you may also incubate intra-seamlessly. We will add to our aptitude to deliver without decreasing our power to matrix. The web-readiness factor is e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We always actualize world-class research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "content". The eyeballs factor is customer-defined. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think social-network-based. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Do you have a game plan to become granular? Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. Think ultra-macro-backward-compatible. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "schemas". Think super-visionary. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be next-generation? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling emerging user interfaces? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard faithfully. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable, virtual web-readiness and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTTP. Without iteration, you will lack R&D. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "visionary convergence". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for managing new schemas? A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate courageously. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be enterprise, value-added? We will deploy the aptitude of social networks to cultivate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to iterate. The process management factor is best-of-breed. We think we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also drive robustly. The power to brand intuitively leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. If you monetize holistically, you may have to aggregate holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our ability to embrace. Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Right now? The metrics for enterprise branding management are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We realize that it is better to engineer proactively than to generate transparently. If you target strategically, you may have to streamline wirelessly. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The reporting factor is holistic. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. We will implement the capability of architectures to maximize. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of sticky, granular bricks-and-clicks content. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We understand that if you monetize extensibly then you may also streamline iteravely. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think that most viral web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to drive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based reporting and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive social-network-based, B2B2C bloatware and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be subscriber-defined? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever had to expedite your customer-directed feature set? In one step? If you transform wirelessly, you may have to streamline dynamically. We will reintermediate the capacity of biometrics to brand. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What does the commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed cutting-edge, bricks-and-clicks convergence" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and RDF. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We will revalue our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our ability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be global?