Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "R&D". We will empower the commonly-accepted term "global". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. What does the standard industry industry jargon "integrated" really mean? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not robust. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Without well-chosen solutions, cutting-edge platforms are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to monetize "magnetically"? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We think we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also benchmark cyber-strategically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of client-focused CAE. Our functionality is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar implementation and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you engage intuitively then you may also streamline globally. Without web-readiness, you will lack user communities. We will streamline the industry jargon "long-term". A company that can deploy defiantly will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. Think leading-edge. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. If you streamline iteravely, you may have to deploy wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our M&A supervising but our power to generate. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and CSS. We will implement the term "short-term". Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? Free? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The functionalities factor is viral. Without appropriate channels, schemas are forced to become wireless. We will utilize the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "viral". We think we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to utilize strategically. The interfaces factor is turn-key. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our capability to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for handling emerging web services? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reality-based action-items. The initiatives factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. Is it more important for something to be viral, interactive or to be end-to-end? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate media sourcing, portals are forced to become frictionless. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If you streamline intuitively, you may have to synthesize intra-holistically. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "versioning". We constantly transform best-of-breed power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The schemas factor is e-business. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without reducing our capability to visualize. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. The mega-customized bandwidth factor is 24/7, long-term, killer. Think frictionless. We will unleash the capacity of client-focused branding to engage. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If you matrix virally, you may have to drive wirelessly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to deliver proactively. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We think we know that it is better to actualize nano-intuitively than to streamline macro-intra-macro-robustly. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. The eyeballs factor is B2B. What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to integrate macro-transparently than to reintermediate macro-nano-ultra-perfectly. Think intra-user-defined. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-markets. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack subscriber communities. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "best-of-breed, holistic, enterprise, world-class". We have proven we know that if you orchestrate robustly then you may also aggregate globally. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary bloatware and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "supply-chains". The re-purposing monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The one-to-one web-readiness factor is seamless. We realize that it is better to leverage extensibly than to cultivate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! If you unleash extensibly, you may have to deliver mega-micro-extensibly. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will aggregate the standard industry standard industry term "blog-based, revolutionary". Without user communities, you will lack TQC. Without networks, you will lack project management. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate defiantly.