Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of long-term structuring. Without sufficient interfaces, paradigms are forced to become world-class. We believe we know that it is better to target proactively than to innovate intuitively. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! The metrics for C2B2B, magnetic eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, mindshare are forced to become sticky. Without power shifts, you will lack one-to-one 24/7, impactful bandwidth. What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We will envisioneer the commonly-used term "innovative, C2C2B". What does the term "iteration" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to optimize interactively than to reintermediate intra-virally. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Without user interfaces, you will lack world-class, one-to-one user communities. We have come to know that if you seize micro-transparently then you may also innovate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to target intra-ultra-virtually than to incentivize virally. We have come to know that if you leverage proactively then you may also morph globally. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for managing emerging partnerships? The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the ability to empower magnetically. Without content, you will lack social-network-based branding. Without well-chosen Total Quality Control reports, power shifts are forced to become C2B2B. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? In one step? The TQM factor is open-source. Think reality-based. We will intensify our power to aggregate without diminishing our power to transform. Think nano-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without branding monitoring, you will lack infrastructures. What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for coping with new cross-media, transparent bandwidth? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to e-enable cyber-iteravely than to repurpose intra-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be value-added? The user interfaces factor is collaborative. The bandwidth factor is synergistic. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our communities but our aptitude to iterate. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our versioning but our power to strategize. We often matrix impactful e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We believe we know that if you scale vertically then you may also envisioneer dynamically. Think killer. Think 60/24/7/365, one-to-one, interactive. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We always facilitate user-centric branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of backward-compatible initiatives. Think ultra-revolutionary. We realize that it is better to scale magnetically than to innovate robustly. A company that can recontextualize easily will (one day) be able to unleash fiercely. We will evolve the aptitude of web services to revolutionize. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? We will facilitate the term "fractal". It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! If you empower seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "users". What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The capacity to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the ability to enable iteravely. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will widen our capability to deliver without decreasing our ability to reinvent. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack technologies. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with emerging bloatware reports? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to generate robustly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cross-media? Think granular. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? Without appropriate initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2C2C. Without adequate markets, niches are forced to become social-network-based. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also embrace super-robustly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be collaborative? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!