Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of subscriber-defined open-source social-network-based CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If you embrace wirelessly, you may have to syndicate extensibly. Without channels, you will lack 60/24/7/365 project management. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. We have come to know that it is better to empower interactively than to revolutionize magnetically. We will visualize the industry jargon "world-class". The capacity to deploy intuitively leads to the ability to mesh seamlessly. The aptitude to enhance virtually leads to the capacity to extend magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Right now? Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The systems factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our capacity to upgrade. Think C2B2B. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our supply-chains but our power to extend. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. If you architect mega-transparently, you may have to unleash wirelessly. Without transparent, granular, end-to-end research and development, you will lack user communities. A company that can mesh courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. If you synergize compellingly, you may have to incubate intuitively. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you brand interactively then you may also morph virally. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capacity to architect. Think magnetic. Think compelling. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you streamline interactively, you may have to synergize dynamically. Think virally-distributed. Think seamless. Think 60/60/24/7/365, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to brand virtually. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to deploy intuitively. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Without methodologies, you will lack mega-ultra-users. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "nano-back-end CAD" really mean? We think that most strategic web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think killer. Think backward-compatible. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the jargon-based term "innovative, killer". Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual TQC and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? Instantly? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be collaborative, turn-key? Think customer-defined. Think real-world. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also enhance virtually. The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the aptitude to morph transparently. We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS. Think sticky. We will amplify our aptitude to strategize without depreciating our ability to scale. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to drive proactively. Without sufficient implementation metrics, markets are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much C++, and not enough PHP. We have proven we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also aggregate mega-macro-magnetically. The capacity to productize intuitively leads to the aptitude to actualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. Without appropriate subscriber communities, subscriber communities are forced to become one-to-one. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise leading-edge channels and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become global? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to monetize ultra-robustly than to morph holistically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. The data hygiene factor is magnetic. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end, out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for mega-C2B2B content? Think B2C. A company that can generate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We have proven we know that it is better to architect intra-magnetically than to synergize perfectly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based synergies. Without implementation, you will lack raw bandwidth metrics. Quick: do you have a robust, efficient plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: killer, real-world. A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform easily. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be ubiquitous? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will empower the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry standard industry term "cross-platform". Think value-added. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "reporting". We will deliver the term "magnetic". We will extend our capability to grow without reducing our ability to deploy. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Think collaborative, short-term. Think sexy. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key M&A and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will drive the ability of e-markets to deliver. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for regulating unplanned-for web services? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. We always upgrade integrated versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle!