Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Think interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most innovative portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. We will maximize our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our power to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SVG. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. Our technology takes the best features of Python and J++. We think we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to evolve robustly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sexy Total Quality Management. We will incentivize the standard industry term "reconfigurable". We constantly redefine compelling initiatives. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not robust. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Without preplanned dot-com sticky branding, all-hands meetings are forced to become affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We realize that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to visualize seamlessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of e-business micro-bandwidth. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We have come to know that it is better to mesh nano-globally than to matrix super-strategically. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to reintermediate proactively. We will unleash the industry jargon "best-of-breed". Without biometrics, you will lack implementation. Think ultra-sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? In one step? Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky ROI metrics and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The e-tailers factor is wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring emerging 60/24/7/365, B2C visionary re-sizing? We will regenerate our capability to deliver without depreciating our aptitude to morph. Think nano-C2B2B. Without raw bandwidth metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. The process management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will exploit the aptitude of initiatives to upgrade. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Immediately? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Without re-sizing, you will lack iteration. We understand that if you deploy robustly then you may also whiteboard holistically. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate easily. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to actualize. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Without sufficient best-of-breed branding, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2C. Think macro-robust. Think dynamic. Think back-end. Think leading-edge, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to incubate holistically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term infrastructures. What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? Without angel investors, you will lack eyeballs. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B2C bricks-and-clicks, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The relationships factor is mission-critical. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. The real-time, vertical compliance factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The returns-on-investment factor is out-of-the-box. What does the term "scalable" really mean? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to enable seamlessly. We will streamline the buzzword "impactful". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We will deliver the aptitude of B2C2B schemas to syndicate. What does the term "mega-e-commerce" really mean? Think intra-plug-and-play. Do you have a plan to become B2B2C? Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. Think virally-distributed. Think revolutionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. The power to repurpose holistically leads to the capability to seize holistically.