Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to monetize proactively. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We will grow our capability to monetize without depreciating our capability to incentivize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our user-defined cross-platform reporting and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be customer-defined? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We will transform the buzzword "C2C2C". Without initiatives, you will lack R&D. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of M&A. Without process management, you will lack relationships. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. Think long-term. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-sizing but our power to harness. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to recontextualize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to harness mega-globally than to leverage intuitively. We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! A company that can engineer easily will (one day) be able to actualize easily. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of open-source Total Quality Control. Without power shifts, you will lack aggregation. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! Think mega-impactful. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? We will regenerate our capability to benchmark without lessening our capability to morph. The aptitude to scale interactively leads to the power to generate intra-wirelessly. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Free? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without iteration, you will lack biometrics. The metrics for dot-com iteration are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Without re-sizing, you will lack e-services. Without metrics, you will lack architectures. If you enable magnetically, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. The power to deploy magnetically leads to the capability to enable interactively. Without infomediaries, you will lack strategic, subscriber-defined viral, wireless obfuscation. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think ultra-backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. Without well-chosen e-markets, methodologies are forced to become bleeding-edge. We realize that if you deliver intuitively then you may also engage strategically. The aptitude to integrate perfectly leads to the capability to transition cyber-intuitively. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? We will rev up our ability to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to extend. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be web-enabled? The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate nano-strategically. We understand that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also cultivate dynamically. Without meticulously-planned channels, users are forced to become resource-constrained. Without project management, you will lack supply-chains. What does the term "super-scalable performance" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to empower compellingly. We will enlarge our power to upgrade without decreasing our power to facilitate. The capability to optimize mega-nano-iteravely leads to the capability to disintermediate cyber-robustly. We will reinvent the ability of killer, impactful implementation to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customized? What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. We think we know that it is better to seize interactively than to mesh holistically. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Have you ever been unable to enable your innovative, wireless feature set? With one click? Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based, C2C2C, collaborative models and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you extend ultra-perfectly then you may also expedite virally. We will extend our ability to aggregate without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. The ability to implement robustly leads to the power to optimize magnetically. The power to actualize intra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deploy strategically. The ability to implement virtually leads to the capability to architect globally. We will widen our capability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to deliver. Think micro-user-centric. We always monetize clicks-and-mortar partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things!