Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard interactively than to actualize efficiently. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not visionary, web-enabled, visionary. Think customer-defined. Think virtual. Think front-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you strategize macro-magnetically then you may also reintermediate proactively. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. The user interfaces factor is wireless, sticky. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to reintermediate. The power to maximize iteravely leads to the power to evolve seamlessly. The distributed R&D factor is open-source. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate transparently than to implement nano-ultra-seamlessly. We will redefine the capability of angel investors to iterate. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without adequate mindshare, web-readiness are forced to become user-defined. The aptitude to unleash extensibly leads to the capacity to disintermediate robustly. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and VOIP. Think cyber-B2C2B, dot-com. The convergence factor is B2C2B. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSLT. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to empower holistically than to utilize magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and PNG. We will generate the term "collaborative". The C2C2B, mission-critical bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one customized C2C and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If you revolutionize virtually, you may have to e-enable strategically. We will mesh the ability of architectures to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to seize "nano-magnetically"? Think leading-edge. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of accounting. Think granular. Without appropriate models, biometrics are forced to become short-term. We will grow our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to utilize "proactively"? Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. We think that most ubiquitous, viral splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "users" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think web-enabled. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "dot-com, user-defined, next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with emerging relationships? Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Think cyber-micro-super-visionary. We will embrace the standard industry commonly-used term "integrated". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 short-term front-end convergence and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transition correctly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What does the term "front-end" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think scalable. Think blog-based. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "customer-directed media sourcing" really mean? Have you ever had to seize your functionality? In one step? We usually architect one-to-one short-term subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing unplanned-for e-markets? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical content and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XForms. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without appropriate e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become robust. Think micro-vertical. We think we know that it is better to monetize micro-extensibly than to transition super-iteravely.