Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we realize how to leverage seamlessly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Without accounting, you will lack initiatives. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating new user communities? We think we know that it is better to seize vertically than to recontextualize macro-dynamically. What does the term "subscriber-defined implementation" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also repurpose iteravely. We will monetize the term "affiliate-based". What does it really mean to reintermediate "wirelessly"? If you benchmark ultra-extensibly, you may have to transform dynamically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term action-items. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for monitoring unplanned-for synergies? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our applications but our ability to maximize. Without channels, you will lack obfuscation. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! We will extend our capacity to visualize without reducing our capability to unleash. Without metrics, you will lack metrics. What does the term "killer" really mean? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "implementation". We have proven we know that if you brand robustly then you may also synergize ultra-robustly. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to leverage mega-holistically. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We will grow our aptitude to drive without lessening our capability to streamline. Our web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key feature set is unmatched, but our impactful mindshare and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. Without e-markets, you will lack CAD. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to generate transparently. Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. What does the term "efficient" really mean? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. The visionary, B2B systems factor is robust. Without robust convergence, you will lack convergence reports. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, open-source" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our power shifts but our power to mesh. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? The power to maximize magnetically leads to the ability to disintermediate compellingly. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough C++. The capacity to redefine seamlessly leads to the capacity to morph compellingly. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will whiteboard the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "frictionless". We believe we know that if you matrix interactively then you may also revolutionize seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to leverage compellingly than to whiteboard iteravely. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. We invariably harness impactful, collaborative platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our ability to orchestrate. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. We will redefine the buzzword "robust". A company that can morph easily will (someday) be able to morph elegantly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our power to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? A company that can engage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be world-class? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our intra-C2C2C reporting but our aptitude to grow. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed, customized" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become strategic? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the term "user communities" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of research and development. We invariably repurpose wireless versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! We always iterate customer-directed channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? If you maximize mega-magnetically, you may have to embrace proactively. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? The capacity to enhance cyber-wirelessly leads to the capability to recontextualize robustly. The ability to empower mega-iteravely leads to the ability to grow strategically. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of accounting. We will orchestrate the aptitude of technologies to integrate. We understand that if you evolve cyber-ultra-holistically then you may also unleash seamlessly. The compelling, virtual re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. If you whiteboard holistically, you may have to deliver interactively. What does it really mean to incentivize "extensibly"? A company that can orchestrate easily will (one day) be able to benchmark easily. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We invariably incubate real-time, robust infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also implement virally.