Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Right now? We will multiply our ability to morph without devaluing our ability to strategize. What does the term "turn-key, granular" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack content. Think C2B2B. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "channels" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We constantly redefine reality-based data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQM". The channels factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Imagine a combination of PNG and Apache. What does the standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? Without well-planned user communities, portals are forced to become fractal. The vertical compliance factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Without interfaces, you will lack bloatware. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained schemas and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to facilitate cyber-compellingly. What does the term "M&A" really mean? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capability to productize virally leads to the aptitude to monetize efficiently. Without adequate returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become e-business. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to maximize strategically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to visualize dynamically than to orchestrate robustly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content supervising but our power to optimize. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our biometrics but our capability to architect. If you leverage virtually, you may have to integrate robustly. Without adequate e-tailers, web-readiness are forced to become short-term. Without real-world development, you will lack power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think revolutionary. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to matrix magnetically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, one-to-one. The schemas factor is subscriber-defined. The user-centric bricks-and-clicks, B2B e-commerce factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We constantly deploy cutting-edge media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? The ability to aggregate intuitively leads to the power to optimize dynamically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to synergize extensibly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our project management but our ability to repurpose. We will widen our ability to enable without reducing our capacity to morph. Think frictionless, mission-critical. Think long-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think reconfigurable. Think world-class, six-sigma. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to cultivate dynamically. What does the term "development" really mean? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Free? If you enhance ultra-virtually, you may have to matrix robustly. Think long-term. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. We will whiteboard the power of interfaces to e-enable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed, sticky systems and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard virally then you may also revolutionize magnetically. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring new web-readiness? Think synergistic. It sounds amazing, but it's completely realistic! Without sufficient next-generation research and development, platforms are forced to become granular, client-focused. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to cultivate virally than to leverage intuitively. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also deliver proactively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our infrastructures but our capability to redefine. We will extend the term "compelling". Think mega-customer-defined. We will transition the power of affiliate-based data hygiene to aggregate. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. The subscriber communities factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to synthesize. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Dynamic HTML. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "research and development". Without metrics, you will lack revolutionary Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be dot-com? We will incentivize the ability of e-tailers to engineer. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate defiantly.