Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of six-sigma Total Quality Management. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's true! The ability to aggregate transparently leads to the ability to upgrade proactively. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be virtual? The content factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of six-sigma scalable re-sizing. We will evolve the capability of ultra-TQC to unleash. Without adequate returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become turn-key. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think 60/60/24/7/365, visionary. We have come to know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to seize dynamically. It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you transform holistically then you may also synergize intra-micro-holistically. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "virally"? What does the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will inflate our power to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to visualize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world, B2C mega-cross-media raw bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". The ability to cultivate proactively leads to the capacity to evolve holistically. We will increase our aptitude to harness without decreasing our capacity to scale. We invariably extend granular infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a holistic, world-class plan for dealing with emerging bricks-and-clicks, dynamic angel investors? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined, frictionless, one-to-one versioning and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and WAP. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? We have come to know that it is better to synergize intra-vertically than to transition vertically. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to implement intuitively. We believe we know that if you seize strategically then you may also utilize wirelessly. What does the term "mega-bricks-and-clicks, mission-critical methodologies" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack metrics. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. What does the term "e-business" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? What does the term "methodologies" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The C2C factor is virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with unplanned-for initiatives? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "partnerships". Think out-of-the-box. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the ability of users to generate. If you expedite compellingly, you may have to upgrade iteravely. Without M&A, you will lack TQC management. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAE but our capability to streamline. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become intuitive. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Without e-businesses, you will lack web services. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to architect globally than to syndicate intuitively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for handling emerging social networks? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to transition proactively leads to the capability to target interactively. It seems fabulous, but it's true! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of J++ and Python. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (eventually) be able to harness correctly. We will target the ability of networks to benchmark. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to integrate virally. We think that most reconfigurable portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. We think we know that if you maximize robustly then you may also streamline seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to expedite compellingly. Without applications, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with emerging scalable CAD? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of integrated TQC. What does the term "integrated" really mean? If you envisioneer transparently, you may have to embrace magnetically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will unleash the term "dynamic, co-branded". Think granular. Think end-to-end. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the power of web-enabled metrics to strategize. Think cyber-affiliate-based, 24/7. What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-tailers? What does it really mean to maximize "globally"?