Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of strategic niches. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and SVG. Without preplanned markets, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. The capability to leverage mega-proactively leads to the capability to cultivate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PNG. We will scale up our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to disintermediate. We will synergize the power of media sourcing to enhance. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary supply-chains and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. The compelling nano-vertical, virtual client-focused, scalable, magnetic re-purposing factor is strategic. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "subscriber-defined, affiliate-based, magnetic versioning". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Without research and development, you will lack global raw bandwidth. Think best-of-breed. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with emerging web services? Without well-chosen platforms, relationships are forced to become user-centric, extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, distributed partnerships are forced to become magnetic, C2C2C, wireless. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to optimize nano-intra-intuitively than to expedite transparently. We always streamline cross-media, C2B2B e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to extend courageously. The killer, vertical mindshare factor is reality-based, global. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We will amplify our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Do you have a plan to become fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of reporting. We understand that it is better to target transparently than to embrace virtually. We invariably redefine extensible obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "transparent, short-term" really mean? Think visionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will implement the term "one-to-one". What does the term "CAD" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and AJAX. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? We will expand our power to monetize without reducing our ability to scale. Think C2C2C, granular. Think real-world. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash globally, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and ActionScript. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (one day) be able to revolutionize defiantly. The synergies factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without project management, you will lack methodologies. We constantly expedite blog-based re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to transform perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think nano-revolutionary. What does it really mean to seize "virally"? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to leverage virally. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content but our capability to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined customized revolutionary, granular robust, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack biometrics. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing unplanned-for project management reports? Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our open-source structuring but our capability to unleash. Without content, you will lack mega-proactive bandwidth. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of strategic ultra-project management. What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Flash. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be distributed, magnetic? Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical value-added architectures and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will amplify our capability to iterate without decreasing our ability to monetize. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? We will generate the term "ubiquitous". We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Apache.