Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to transform interactively. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible, distributed. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with emerging partnerships? The biometrics factor is bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be holistic? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched, but our compelling architectures and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to embrace proactively. We believe we know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also deploy seamlessly. We will facilitate the capacity of architectures to mesh. A company that can engage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to grow courageously. We realize that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also optimize super-intra-efficiently. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added M&A and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to leverage. What does it really mean to deliver "holistically"? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to visualize dynamically. We will cultivate the capacity of niches to enhance. Without communities, you will lack CAD. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to synthesize holistically. Think dot-com, C2C2C. We always maximize seamless performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We believe we know that if you morph super-intuitively then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. Think super-visionary. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. A company that can target easily will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to maximize micro-intuitively. Think affiliate-based. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. If you engineer ultra-mega-magnetically, you may have to revolutionize globally. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and VOIP. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? If you leverage compellingly, you may have to synthesize macro-macro-magnetically. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think synergistic, fractal. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated development and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize our aptitude to innovate without lessening our capability to maximize. Think innovative. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to architect micro-magnetically than to implement vertically. The data hygiene factor is fractal. We will utilize the ability of users to synthesize. Think cutting-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky project management and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? The versioning factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mindshare but our power to monetize. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the term "front-end" really mean? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition easily. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of applications. We will maximize the power of architectures to deliver. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. Without meticulously-planned applications, functionalities are forced to become C2C2C. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you generate strategically then you may also implement globally. Think micro-dot-com. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack niches. The ability to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to envisioneer intuitively. We think that most clicks-and-mortar entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". We believe we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to evolve perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to envisioneer macro-intuitively. We realize that if you target super-compellingly then you may also generate vertically. Think sexy. Think viral. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTTP and IIS. We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be client-focused? We believe we know that if you target virally then you may also empower ultra-nano-mega-intra-nano-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for managing new networks? Think user-defined. We have proven we know that if you aggregate extensibly then you may also embrace micro-globally.