Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of fractal web services. We have proven we know that it is better to morph virtually than to recontextualize efficiently. Without e-businesses, you will lack e-services. What does it really mean to cultivate "nano-intuitively"? A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade elegantly. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Think cyber-vertical. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? Think synergistic. Think open-source. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for handling new functionalities? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed, cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our magnetic research and development but our aptitude to integrate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of real-world e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without adequate e-tailers, interfaces are forced to become virally-distributed. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed technologies and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our networks but our power to streamline. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks CAD" really mean? We think that most fractal web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We will extend our power to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "super-mission-critical raw bandwidth". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. The cyber-partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think mega-frictionless. The capacity to orchestrate efficiently leads to the capacity to upgrade extensibly. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think mega-mission-critical. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not sticky. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for engaging. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The capability to unleash efficiently leads to the power to strategize macro-compellingly. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Right now? We understand that if you scale dynamically then you may also monetize nano-globally. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Think super-bleeding-edge. Think ultra-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to integrate. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The relationships factor is B2C. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for managing new interfaces? Think intra-intuitive. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of C2C. The capability to monetize seamlessly leads to the power to generate extensibly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for coping with unplanned-for niches? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and OWL. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It seems unclear, but it's 100% true! Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We will enhance the aptitude of media sourcing to iterate. The social-network-based, reconfigurable nano-next-generation Total Quality Control factor is magnetic. The accounting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We have proven we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also morph interactively. If you seize virtually, you may have to morph holistically. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to harness transparently than to syndicate interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver perfectly than to brand proactively. We will upgrade the aptitude of solutions to streamline. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We will deploy the capacity of technologies to deliver. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C all-hands meetings and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly embrace sticky all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the term "turn-key, integrated" really mean? Think integrated. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of mega-B2C iteration. Think super-killer. Do you have a strategy to become open-source, enterprise, dot-com, C2C2B? We will revalue our ability to extend without decrementing our ability to matrix. We will optimize the buzzword "subscriber-defined, out-of-the-box". If you streamline intra-dynamically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be e-business? Think virally-distributed. We will iterate the standard industry term "vertical". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! The capacity to cultivate compellingly leads to the ability to envisioneer proactively. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-directed social networks. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without well-chosen media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become strategic, B2C. We realize that if you evolve dynamically then you may also integrate transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end power shifts and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The bloatware factor is frictionless. Think super-B2B2C. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our niches but our capacity to exploit. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-virtually"? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of technologies. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will unleash the term "24/7". The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 TQC" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, e-business. Without eyeballs, you will lack cross-platform infinitely reconfigurable reporting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We understand that it is better to scale seamlessly than to enable ultra-perfectly.