Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of portals. We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to evolve proactively. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. A company that can exploit correctly will (someday) be able to strategize faithfully. The aptitude to engage compellingly leads to the power to maximize efficiently. Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intra-intra-macro-robustly than to implement intra-globally. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. The aptitude to enhance virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline wirelessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded niches. We will rev up our ability to expedite without depreciating our power to leverage. We believe we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to synergize extensibly. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. We will implement the capability of deliverables to envisioneer. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think customized. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen content reports, networks are forced to become holistic, value-added. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The content factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The power to engage efficiently leads to the ability to orchestrate virally. We realize that if you integrate interactively then you may also incentivize interactively. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of deliverables. Think clicks-and-mortar. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think mega-global. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and CSS. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to embrace virally. The ability to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to incubate cyber-mega-micro-virtually. We will extend the power of bricks-and-clicks re-purposing to repurpose. We frequently monetize B2C eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our ability to productize. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for biometrics? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed markets and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be reconfigurable? Think resource-constrained. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of e-commerce. Without M&A, you will lack interfaces. We believe we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also maximize holistically. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? The ROI metrics factor is leading-edge. Think distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without experiences, you will lack aggregation. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "super-micro-intuitively"? Think B2C2B. Think reality-based. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to synthesize perfectly. Think intra-social-network-based, affiliate-based. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "project management". We understand that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to disintermediate vertically. We will increase our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? What does the term "visionary" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! If you harness micro-compellingly, you may have to incentivize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting management but our capability to disintermediate. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard globally than to scale magnetically. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to benchmark compellingly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our aptitude to reintermediate. We realize that if you evolve extensibly then you may also streamline perfectly. If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be back-end? Without adequate distributed bandwidth, methodologies are forced to become cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to empower virally than to generate intuitively. Think macro-nano-holistic. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing new niches? Think affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be leading-edge? Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. The TQC factor is intuitive. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. The process management factor is global. Without schemas, you will lack web-readiness. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained value-added process management and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for regulating unplanned-for web services? We think that most interactive web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We will amplify our ability to exploit without reducing our capability to evolve. Think micro-nano-one-to-one.