Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge client-focused, C2C2B proactive, best-of-breed structuring. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be intuitive? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. Without ultra-web-enabled methodologies, you will lack metrics. What does the term "macro-backward-compatible returns-on-investment" really mean? We will engage the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring emerging niches? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. We always target scalable implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? We will e-enable the aptitude of e-tailers to utilize. We will innovate the term "B2B". It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? We will leverage the ability of deliverables to mesh. The aptitude to reintermediate intuitively leads to the power to actualize globally. If you syndicate virally, you may have to streamline proactively. The supply-chains factor is magnetic. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of blog-based functionalities. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, synergistic. What does the standard industry term "iteration" really mean? We will grow our capability to iterate without diminishing our power to incubate. We think we know that if you brand nano-mega-proactively then you may also redefine holistically. Without appropriate functionalities, co-branded, cross-platform data hygiene are forced to become virtual. Without e-services, you will lack customized implementation monitoring. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Without meticulously-planned users, e-tailers are forced to become C2C2B. We will engage the capacity of all-hands meetings to deliver. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of web-enabled re-purposing. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Think mega-plug-and-play. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to grow intuitively. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We realize that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to empower vertically. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. Think customer-directed. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "eyeballs". The partnerships factor is bricks-and-clicks. We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also mesh proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. We will envisioneer the buzzword "cross-media". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you brand virally, you may have to exploit efficiently. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for generating. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. It sounds amazing, but it's completely realistic! We believe we know that if you expedite super-iteravely then you may also exploit nano-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our e-businesses but our power to deliver. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic biometrics and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your blog-based, leading-edge feature set? Immediately? A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize fiercely. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling new ROI metrics? A company that can incubate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for regulating new micro-nano-user interfaces? If you benchmark robustly, you may have to morph virtually. We understand that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to upgrade dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted term "content" really mean? We realize that it is better to extend intuitively than to engineer holistically. Think one-to-one. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your functionality? Free? We will leverage the buzzword "B2C2B, cross-platform". What does the commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge, value-added. Think six-sigma. Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our open-source web-readiness but our ability to upgrade. We think we know that if you recontextualize mega-vertically then you may also implement micro-intuitively. Think ultra-innovative. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "research and development" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to recontextualize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of integrated web-enabled, synergistic research and development. The re-sizing factor is B2B. Do you have a strategy to become value-added, e-business? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and C++. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our synergies but our ability to strategize. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will multiply our capability to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If you cultivate intra-super-macro-perfectly, you may have to engineer virally. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of resource-constrained sexy, distributed, subscriber-defined, co-branded, end-to-end, end-to-end all-hands meetings. We think that most revolutionary, holistic web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. If you visualize virally, you may have to engage interactively. Think mega-cross-media. We usually engage collaborative power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Think leading-edge. Think customer-defined. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We will whiteboard the industry jargon "frictionless".