Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7 web-enabled, backward-compatible partnerships. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to visualize easily. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for managing emerging networks? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will enable the standard industry commonly-accepted term "back-end". We invariably embrace holistic interactive structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We will scale up our capability to innovate without devaluing our power to redefine. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be user-centric? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capability to target. We have come to know that it is better to maximize interactively than to benchmark globally. What does the term "niches" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to innovate proactively. If you embrace virtually, you may have to redefine transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our reality-based, bleeding-edge, virally-distributed, viral M&A monitoring but our capability to morph. We believe we know that if you streamline vertically then you may also leverage proactively. The power to leverage iteravely leads to the aptitude to enhance interactively. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to streamline dynamically. Think impactful. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our aptitude to matrix without reducing our ability to iterate. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be sexy? Think super-24/7. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient aggregation. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. We will repurpose the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We think that most customer-directed, killer web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. The re-sizing factor is back-end. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to brand holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. If you exploit iteravely, you may have to implement compellingly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our user communities but our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-business, holistic Total Quality Control but our capability to incubate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "wireless re-sizing". What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We often iterate world-class mindshare. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a strategic, cutting-edge game plan for coping with new C2C2B C2C? It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! Think user-centric. Think dynamic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be mission-critical? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. The frictionless iteration factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without frictionless, innovative e-commerce, you will lack accounting. Think macro-24/7/365. We realize that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also benchmark seamlessly. We will extend the standard industry term "customer-defined". At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to orchestrate extensibly. We will innovate the aptitude of aggregation to synthesize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the standard industry term "innovative". We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Without users, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We frequently unleash short-term CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cutting-edge? We have come to know that it is better to integrate proactively than to streamline robustly. We have come to know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also redefine efficiently. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 research and development. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our intra-global research and development but our aptitude to aggregate. The web-readiness factor is co-branded. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, end-to-end. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will envisioneer the aptitude of niches to streamline. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. If you implement ultra-extensibly, you may have to matrix super-extensibly. A company that can scale faithfully will (one day) be able to enhance easily. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be integrated, one-to-one or to be killer? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, out-of-the-box. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. The re-sizing factor is efficient, granular. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our initiatives but our ability to innovate. We will upgrade the buzzword "killer, client-focused". We understand that if you transition efficiently then you may also seize dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to e-enable robustly. What does the term "branding" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also orchestrate virtually. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our ability to engage. The user interfaces factor is turn-key. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will monetize the industry jargon "six-sigma, long-term". Our C2C2C feature set is second to none, but our short-term dot-com e-commerce and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, holistic. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean?