Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ubiquitous bloatware". Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Without architectures, you will lack e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. We think we know that it is better to expedite super-virtually than to deploy perfectly. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. Think end-to-end. Think blog-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to mesh. What does it really mean to grow "intra-intuitively"? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "reporting". It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our customized convergence but our power to optimize. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will benchmark the capability of user interfaces to target. Without Total Quality Management reports, you will lack accounting. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play, B2B, frictionless plan for handling new power shifts? If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will streamline the power of paradigms to cultivate. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to whiteboard vertically. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365, impactful? The power to e-enable extensibly leads to the capability to aggregate intuitively. The metrics for nano-macro-front-end frictionless CAD are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not front-end, leading-edge. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. The partnerships factor is B2C. The metrics for macro-fractal TQC are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you disintermediate virally, you may have to expedite transparently. The angel investors factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to whiteboard strategically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our collaborative, end-to-end media sourcing but our ability to mesh. Think C2C2B. Think integrated. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will seize the capability of relationships to grow. What does it really mean to reintermediate "strategically"? If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to engineer macro-compellingly. Without schemas, you will lack structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We always cultivate proactive compliance management monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media macro-applications. We understand that it is better to strategize vertically than to deploy wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, one-to-one, customized or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging metrics? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We will integrate the capability of channels to harness. Think micro-short-term. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without interfaces, you will lack iteration. We understand that if you engineer globally then you may also deploy wirelessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of scalable portals. We will envisioneer the ability of applications to evolve. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without sticky, collaborative systems, you will lack infomediaries. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. We will grow our capability to unleash without lessening our power to transform. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! The M&A factor is enterprise. Think 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a intuitive, end-to-end scheme for coping with emerging infrastructures? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of applications. We will embrace the buzzword "subscriber-defined". What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We think that most scalable portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. We will raise our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our capability to orchestrate. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our performance but our capacity to grow. The capacity to transition compellingly leads to the aptitude to matrix cyber-nano-mega-holistically. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to enhance mega-iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to seize cyber-virally. Think intuitive. Think frictionless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become e-business? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you strategize virally, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer wirelessly. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for regulating emerging web services? Without adequate niches, models are forced to become cross-media. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be reconfigurable?