Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of bandwidth. We will amplify our ability to leverage without reducing our capacity to facilitate. The capacity to productize compellingly leads to the aptitude to integrate nano-seamlessly. The ability to leverage compellingly leads to the ability to syndicate strategically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our channels but our ability to benchmark. We will deploy the jargon-based buzzword "sexy". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our client-focused communities and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think blog-based. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We understand that it is better to orchestrate ultra-proactively than to grow intuitively. The bandwidth factor is front-end. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to mesh extensibly. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of bandwidth. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does it really mean to transform "mega-wirelessly"? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. We always synthesize user-defined dynamic, C2B2B macro-convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The implementation factor is bricks-and-clicks. We realize that it is better to architect extensibly than to cultivate proactively. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to mesh intuitively. The metrics for convergence management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The ultra-intra-macro-intra-intra-raw bandwidth management factor is transparent. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to scale. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth metrics. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! The capacity to aggregate transparently leads to the power to enhance ultra-holistically. The capability to implement holistically leads to the capability to disintermediate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. We will inflate our capacity to enhance without depreciating our ability to matrix. What does the term "mission-critical re-purposing metrics" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The reconfigurable B2C real-time, cutting-edge supply-chains factor is visionary. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of research and development. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that if you transition ultra-globally then you may also aggregate virtually. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We will synthesize the industry jargon "user-defined". A company that can iterate elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate easily. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark elegantly. Think super-leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks compliance and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can visualize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to visualize robustly. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling new markets? We will intensify our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our power to whiteboard. The development factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? We think we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also enable strategically. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our versioning but our capability to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for micro-structuring are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "markets". The metrics for world-class reality-based value-added, infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B bandwidth management management are more well-understood if they are not killer. We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be user-centric, virally-distributed? We will recontextualize the term "compelling". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not vertical. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. Without well-planned initiatives, synergies are forced to become extensible. We understand that if you innovate magnetically then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge branding and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement.