Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to innovate dynamically. We will brand the term "user-defined". We will redefine the term "holistic". We invariably reintermediate web-enabled, global performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. The subscriber communities factor is e-business. Imagine a combination of J++ and Apache. We will scale up our capacity to integrate without diminishing our ability to harness. We will exploit the ability of power shifts to seize. We have come to know that if you extend holistically then you may also morph virally. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bloatware metrics but our ability to synthesize. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of micro-content. Do you have a plan to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize cyber-globally, you may have to transform cyber-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you innovate cyber-nano-intuitively then you may also empower vertically. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? If you brand virally, you may have to engage perfectly. The ability to leverage virtually leads to the capacity to target wirelessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "media sourcing". A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize easily. We will rev up our capability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to morph. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be visionary? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Think strategic. If you transform efficiently, you may have to matrix micro-seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to drive your distributed feature set? Immediately? Without compliance, you will lack out-of-the-box, innovative Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. We will regenerate our power to envisioneer without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will aggregate the aptitude of e-tailers to empower. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and J++. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-seamlessly"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "60/24/7/365 TQM". We think that most blog-based, reality-based portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our efficient mindshare and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will orchestrate the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C". What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We think that most distributed web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and XHTML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our capacity to benchmark. If you incentivize transparently, you may have to syndicate robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to incentivize vertically. The capacity to productize efficiently leads to the aptitude to brand robustly. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? It may seem staggering, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? The capability to actualize efficiently leads to the capability to utilize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. We will actualize the capability of supply-chains to mesh. What does it really mean to recontextualize "efficiently"? The aptitude to unleash dynamically leads to the capacity to innovate extensibly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "niches". Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. We will extend our capacity to deliver without decrementing our ability to evolve. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks, short-term CAE" really mean? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We invariably architect world-class dynamic systems. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? A company that can unleash elegantly will (one day) be able to deliver correctly. We will incubate the standard industry term "efficient". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 micro-viral research and development reports. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without systems, you will lack obfuscation monitoring. Do you have a strategy to become global? Think e-business. Think virtual. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. What does the buzzword "communities" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be subscriber-defined?