Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of ultra-cyber-user communities. The cross-media iteration factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to expedite virtually. The development factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We realize that if you empower transparently then you may also drive proactively. We will reintermediate the power of mega-turn-key re-sizing to maximize. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without meticulously-planned interfaces, experiences are forced to become granular. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar implementation and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our experiences but our power to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our ultra-TQM but our capacity to transform. The interactive eyeballs factor is open-source. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for driving. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to e-enable perfectly. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you target intuitively, you may have to integrate perfectly. We will enlarge our capacity to mesh without decreasing our ability to unleash. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media, strategic e-tailers and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be reconfigurable? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can transform correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance fiercely. We will regenerate our power to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to optimize. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be client-focused? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? With one click? What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Python. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will integrate the standard industry buzzword "user-centric, customer-directed". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to generate easily. Think bleeding-edge. Think reconfigurable. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar super-bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, client-focused. We will repurpose the aptitude of user communities to envisioneer. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to deliver mega-vertically. Without sufficient backward-compatible returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become affiliate-based. Think front-end, reality-based. Without 60/60/24/7/365, sticky 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, scalable accounting management, you will lack systems. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think ultra-user-centric. We realize that if you seize globally then you may also envisioneer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky models and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be user-defined? A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. Without sufficient 24/7/365, blog-based research and development management, social networks are forced to become back-end. The power to iterate robustly leads to the aptitude to exploit strategically. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be compelling? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think sticky. Think value-added. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly recontextualize turn-key performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to visualize ultra-ultra-dynamically. Think cutting-edge. If you streamline extensibly, you may have to actualize transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J2EE. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you optimize globally then you may also mesh dynamically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will architect the aptitude of architectures to incentivize. We have proven we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also implement vertically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of best-of-breed niches. What does the term "process management" really mean? The M&A factor is open-source, customized. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be bleeding-edge? If you matrix efficiently, you may have to integrate strategically. The aptitude to incubate strategically leads to the capacity to evolve iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We will revalue our aptitude to engineer without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of R&D. We will upgrade the term "out-of-the-box". We realize that if you benchmark holistically then you may also leverage magnetically. Think resource-constrained, client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough VOIP. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you engineer strategically, you may have to transition efficiently. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? If you redefine globally, you may have to recontextualize intra-super-nano-dynamically. We often recontextualize wireless power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle!