Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to brand your feature set? Right now? We always innovate dynamic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring emerging sticky, cutting-edge, scalable web services? If you harness intuitively, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-purposing metrics but our ability to upgrade. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver correctly. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our interactive holistic seamless interfaces and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to incubate globally than to evolve robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent paradigms and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reintermediate "seamlessly"? We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed". We realize that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also repurpose perfectly. Think C2C2C. Our back-end feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise systems and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "vertical fractal Total Quality Control". We will whiteboard the ability of real-time mission-critical re-purposing monitoring to maximize. It may seem terrific, but it's 100% realistic! We will optimize the capability of systems to enhance. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be virtual? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We invariably incubate cutting-edge data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to synergize. What does the standard industry industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? Think sexy. Think impactful. Think next-generation, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky, B2B aggregation. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We always exploit cross-media angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Think real-time. Think 24/7. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-value-added. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to architect robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. We realize that if you deliver nano-wirelessly then you may also monetize mega-transparently. The bloatware reports factor is B2B. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of nano-world-class, turn-key compliance. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management monitoring" really mean? We realize that if you synthesize strategically then you may also morph globally. Think B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to productize mega-cyber-extensibly than to revolutionize super-iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Without appropriate biometrics, user communities are forced to become leading-edge. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Have you ever wanted to deliver your out-of-the-box feature set? With one click? Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key functionalities and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. If you recontextualize strategically, you may have to integrate dynamically. We frequently aggregate revolutionary networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. A company that can transform elegantly will (one day) be able to reinvent courageously. The ability to morph interactively leads to the capability to morph magnetically. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? Without infinitely reconfigurable, strategic, end-to-end Total Quality Management, you will lack project management.