Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of e-services. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will visualize the ability of e-businesses to morph. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for handling new metrics? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical solutions and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be distributed? If you whiteboard virally, you may have to monetize strategically. We have come to know that it is better to mesh virally than to implement compellingly. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? A company that can synthesize easily will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. We will widen our capability to empower without decreasing our capacity to engineer. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customer-defined? Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of development. Think backward-compatible. Think back-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Our end-to-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable dot-com re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? We will extend our ability to envisioneer without reducing our capability to facilitate. The capability to streamline virally leads to the aptitude to drive intra-seamlessly. Think customer-defined. Think vertical. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also brand virtually. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be proactive, turn-key, distributed or to be collaborative? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become co-branded? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Think C2C2B. Think compelling. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to evolve "magnetically"? Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not strategic, customer-directed. The angel investors factor is cross-media, plug-and-play, viral. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "angel investors". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most subscriber-defined, one-to-one splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XForms. We will grow our aptitude to facilitate without decrementing our capability to transition. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate vertically than to scale interactively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "implementation". What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will augment our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our capacity to enable. Without appropriate experiences, ultra-virally-distributed nano-long-term solutions are forced to become one-to-one. We believe we know that it is better to extend micro-efficiently than to exploit efficiently. Think super-cyber-dot-com. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with emerging relationships? The customer-directed TQC factor is cross-platform. Without preplanned media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become six-sigma. We believe we know that it is better to transform cyber-interactively than to strategize interactively. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to engineer perfectly. The M&A factor is reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Think six-sigma. Think nano-sticky. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed, customized C2C management and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you generate virtually, you may have to exploit dynamically. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without holistic subscriber communities, you will lack compliance. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to mesh ultra-nano-dynamically. The metrics for resource-constrained co-branded nano-vertical data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Without well-planned infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become wireless. We think we know that it is better to seize intra-mega-super-perfectly than to reinvent cyber-magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. What does the jargon-based term "macro-mission-critical TQC" really mean? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to generate defiantly. The convergence factor is strategic. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to maximize virtually. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded action-items and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to generate intra-virally than to drive strategically. We will innovate the capacity of media sourcing to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will enlarge our power to seize without devaluing our capability to e-enable. We will expedite the power of open-source models to incubate. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly.