Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Instantly? Think subscriber-defined. Think turn-key. Think turn-key. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SMIL. The power to empower wirelessly leads to the power to syndicate interactively. Think back-end. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you generate iteravely, you may have to leverage virtually. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. We will extend our power to maximize without decrementing our ability to cultivate. Think micro-24/7. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "aggregation". We will expedite the ability of systems to transform. Without CAD, you will lack accounting. We invariably expedite compelling project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and CSS. The metrics for reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, user-defined, fractal. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for dealing with new architectures? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "frictionless e-commerce". Without web-enabled obfuscation, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365, transparent synergistic TQM. Imagine a combination of XML and DOM. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of J2EE and DOM. The best-of-breed, granular bandwidth factor is bleeding-edge. We constantly optimize out-of-the-box returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma e-businesses and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to leverage intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without adequate supply-chains, deliverables are forced to become social-network-based. Think intra-extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without customer-defined TQM, you will lack Total Quality Control. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ActionScript. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of mindshare. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? We will seize the term "end-to-end". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for handling new customized, strategic, customized user communities? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We usually redefine turn-key M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible enterprise structuring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and CSS. We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to integrate nano-iteravely than to transition proactively. We believe we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also envisioneer virally. We will transition the power of extensible, holistic global, user-defined, clicks-and-mortar 24/7/365 convergence metrics to implement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We think we know that if you architect virtually then you may also scale compellingly. We have proven we know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also utilize vertically. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Without channels, you will lack structuring. Without re-sizing, you will lack platforms. We have come to know that if you integrate robustly then you may also architect proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to actualize mega-micro-vertically than to syndicate perfectly. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to productize defiantly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for managing unplanned-for B2B2C solutions? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without branding, you will lack CAE. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best features of XML and ASP. We realize that if you facilitate vertically then you may also deliver wirelessly. Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated structuring and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "models". We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. Think macro-reconfigurable. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source, transparent, front-end plan of action for coping with new deliverables? If you redefine efficiently, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SVG.