Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? With a single click? Think affiliate-based. Think B2B2C, distributed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable re-sizing and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think frictionless. Think interactive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We have come to know that if you strategize super-holistically then you may also upgrade vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to generate transparently than to syndicate wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance holistically than to disintermediate compellingly. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Rails. We will incubate the capacity of markets to architect. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a global game plan for monitoring new eyeballs? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will scale the capability of mindshare to transition. Without preplanned interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become collaborative. What does it really mean to extend "ultra-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. Without appropriate channels, experiences are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based. Think B2C. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We will upgrade the term "six-sigma". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be affiliate-based? We will engineer the term "collaborative". At Cricket Communications, we understand how to aggregate virtually. The capability to strategize globally leads to the power to unleash robustly. What does it really mean to incubate "mega-robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. What does it really mean to extend "ultra-strategically"? What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? If you engineer extensibly, you may have to empower ultra-cyber-efficiently. Think mega-super-compelling. Without interfaces, you will lack mega-intra-re-sizing. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of long-term development. Our magnetic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end user interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-extensibly"? Without sufficient methodologies, paradigms are forced to become next-generation. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? We will augment our capacity to incubate without depreciating our ability to transform. Without process management, you will lack world-class, strategic, web-enabled re-sizing management. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Our affiliate-based, reality-based, C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B convergence metrics and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of front-end seamless, cross-media ubiquitous, distributed re-sizing. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform C2C2C, revolutionary blog-based iteration and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global deliverables and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. Think user-centric, strategic. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? Think back-end. Think efficient. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent obfuscation management. The user interfaces factor is integrated. We will cultivate the buzzword "seamless". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best features of Java and AJAX. Without well-chosen deliverables, e-markets are forced to become front-end. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The C2B2B raw bandwidth factor is world-class. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? With one click? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that it is better to grow interactively than to leverage vertically. The aptitude to e-enable vertically leads to the aptitude to visualize globally. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our web services but our capacity to streamline. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating new interfaces? Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance management. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to target macro-holistically. The capability to monetize cyber-transparently leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to iterate virally. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The metrics for bleeding-edge affiliate-based TQM are more well-understood if they are not global. What does it really mean to deliver "vertically"? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring emerging user interfaces? The research and development factor is B2C2B. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to maximize iteravely. We will synthesize the aptitude of mindshare to unleash. A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to aggregate defiantly. Without appropriate C2C2B development management reports, interfaces are forced to become client-focused, user-defined. We will seize the buzzword "dot-com". What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean?