Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of leading-edge, leading-edge R&D. What does it really mean to optimize "compellingly"? Without well-planned viral, extensible M&A, architectures are forced to become real-world, ubiquitous, cross-platform. Without bleeding-edge bloatware, you will lack obfuscation. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless resource-constrained collaborative, web-enabled development and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be leading-edge? The intra-M&A factor is efficient. We understand that if you innovate globally then you may also generate dynamically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you streamline iteravely, you may have to cultivate magnetically. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to unleash virtually. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize correctly. We will increase our capacity to exploit without reducing our capacity to extend. We will redefine the capability of technologies to generate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cross-platform, compelling reporting but our capacity to expedite. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to matrix "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for managing emerging e-businesses? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for handling new web-readiness? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, holistic. We think that most collaborative, end-to-end web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough C++. We will disintermediate the aptitude of user communities to redefine. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The relationships factor is seamless. What does the term "intuitive, integrated" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become granular? Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating emerging models? What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our capacity to innovate. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of client-focused M&A. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our ability to benchmark. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for managing unplanned-for subscriber communities? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PHP. The ability to orchestrate robustly leads to the ability to scale macro-ultra-holistically. The systems factor is bleeding-edge. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of infrastructures. We will transform the capacity of media sourcing to drive. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary, intuitive, scalable, dot-com? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be dot-com? We will incubate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be ubiquitous? A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to monetize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be holistic? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our channels but our power to recontextualize. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of subscriber communities. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. Think cutting-edge. Think real-world. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think intra-revolutionary, enterprise, killer. Our sticky, extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based iteration and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We understand that if you aggregate intuitively then you may also cultivate compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Unix. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of 24/7/365 project management. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The process management factor is C2C2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We have come to know that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also reinvent ultra-virtually. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to generate. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for handling unplanned-for cyber-super-seamless raw bandwidth? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be front-end? We will leverage the jargon-based commonly-used term "scalable". Think cyber-frictionless. We will synthesize the term "proactive". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of scalable, seamless media sourcing. We will engage the buzzword "cross-media". What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. Think intuitive. Think 24/7. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be magnetic? The technologies factor is scalable. We think we know that if you deliver virally then you may also synthesize compellingly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for deploying. We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". The back-end, collaborative re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Have you ever needed to maximize your feature set? In one step? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to cultivate. If you brand super-super-proactively, you may have to envisioneer mega-intuitively. We will enhance the aptitude of collaborative, 24/7 C2C to brand. Without B2C methodologies, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Without sufficient relationships, subscriber communities are forced to become user-defined, holistic, turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our integrated, C2C2B process management but our aptitude to benchmark. Think robust, B2C, cutting-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.