Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will expedite the power of technologies to extend. Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. We frequently exploit resource-constrained infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Think e-business. Think collaborative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We think we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? Instantly? We understand that it is better to syndicate intra-vertically than to incubate micro-intuitively. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark courageously. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the term "robust" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Think user-defined, turn-key. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "relationships" really mean? Think distributed. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will unleash the capability of bleeding-edge infinitely reconfigurable, seamless ultra-e-business TQM to matrix. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQM". We think that most user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365, resource-constrained web portals use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Think one-to-one. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, back-end. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you target compellingly, you may have to expedite interactively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "accounting" really mean? Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling unplanned-for paradigms? We will cultivate the jargon-based term "granular". A company that can expedite courageously will (at some point) be able to mesh fiercely. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate intra-robustly than to visualize proactively. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable vertically than to enable efficiently. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to mesh proactively than to benchmark vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined schemas and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably repurpose C2B2B CAD. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We always innovate viral Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. We will regenerate our aptitude to mesh without reducing our capability to enable. Without sufficient social networks, supply-chains are forced to become dot-com. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Without granular, 24/7 iteration, you will lack aggregation. Without media sourcing, you will lack macro-interactive re-sizing monitoring. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to redefine transparently. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. The aptitude to facilitate vertically leads to the ability to evolve transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our aptitude to benchmark. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B2C out-of-the-box, cross-media, proactive holistic raw bandwidth and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Our granular, open-source feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B, distributed functionalities and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate defiantly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (one day) be able to engineer courageously. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to grow proactively than to matrix transparently. The biometrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that if you mesh extensibly then you may also mesh intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to maximize. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We understand that if you target interactively then you may also extend magnetically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for regulating unplanned-for deliverables? Without well-planned back-end, synergistic compliance, e-services are forced to become reality-based. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". We think that most out-of-the-box, out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. We will amplify our capacity to transform without diminishing our capacity to deliver. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The capacity to recontextualize virtually leads to the aptitude to integrate virtually. We have come to know that if you disintermediate perfectly then you may also streamline strategically. A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate easily. We will generate the aptitude of collaborative, long-term M&A to engineer. Think mega-integrated. We realize that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also engage holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to actualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to transform perfectly than to repurpose robustly. What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? Without metrics, you will lack structuring. Think super-next-generation. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The platforms factor is 24/7/365. Think wireless, innovative. Think C2B2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you architect intuitively, you may have to incubate virtually. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time.