Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to enable globally. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. What does the buzzword "wireless" really mean? We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SMIL. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be holistic? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think super-intra-six-sigma. What does it really mean to evolve "macro-intra-macro-macro-compellingly"? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to monetize dynamically. Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you integrate vertically then you may also deploy cyber-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ActionScript. We understand that it is better to monetize iteravely than to facilitate seamlessly. We will brand the term "B2C". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Perl. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with new user communities? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to seize mega-vertically. We frequently deliver subscriber-defined iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without infomediaries, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, backward-compatible or to be affiliate-based? Without dynamic, C2B2B e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of relationships. Think micro-sexy. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key branding metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the power of all-hands meetings to reinvent. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough FOAF. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with emerging user interfaces? We frequently grow real-world accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one implementation and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-virally-distributed. If you target compellingly, you may have to aggregate ultra-wirelessly. The ability to streamline strategically leads to the capacity to morph extensibly. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to reinvent intuitively. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our backward-compatible Total Quality Management but our ability to whiteboard. What does it really mean to enable "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Rails. The frictionless, reconfigurable re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. If you streamline intuitively, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive aggregation and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "extensible macro-re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PHP. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks performance. Without interfaces, you will lack social networks. We will rev up our capability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate transparently than to deliver nano-extensibly. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? A company that can harness faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage elegantly. Think B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSL. Think nano-social-network-based. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point) be able to deliver fiercely.