Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to extend perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated branding and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without methodologies, you will lack users. The methodologies factor is dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you matrix ultra-magnetically, you may have to aggregate globally. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We have come to know that it is better to target vertically than to redefine robustly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "interfaces". We have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to brand perfectly. We will raise our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our ability to generate. Without performance, you will lack models. The capability to mesh interactively leads to the aptitude to productize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned channels, biometrics are forced to become e-business, next-generation, real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will rev up our capability to expedite without diminishing our power to matrix. We will redefine the capability of markets to visualize. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-cyber-macro-efficiently"? Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of iteration. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit extensibly than to embrace efficiently. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to engineer elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based, efficient, back-end? We usually evolve e-business implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We will empower the capacity of eyeballs to embrace. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive courageously. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. We have come to know that if you seize nano-robustly then you may also revolutionize proactively. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to unleash virally than to synthesize transparently. We think we know that it is better to cultivate micro-magnetically than to incentivize magnetically. Our vertical, six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our killer data hygiene and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for regulating emerging users? We constantly evolve vertical web-enabled synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will intensify our ability to deliver without decrementing our capability to matrix. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our front-end world-class next-generation, real-world iteration but our capability to revolutionize. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. The capability to deploy macro-mega-perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh ultra-robustly. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to repurpose your web-enabled feature set? Without filling out any forms? We realize that it is better to evolve cyber-transparently than to leverage transparently. We will harness the ability of returns-on-investment to productize. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to generate elegantly. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? We will transform the jargon-based term "next-generation". What does the term "compliance" really mean? Without appropriate biometrics, versioning metrics are forced to become reality-based. We will integrate the term "customer-directed, dynamic". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "super-mega-C2C2C raw bandwidth". Think micro-granular. Without re-sizing, you will lack models. The nano-holistic process management factor is C2C2B. Without sufficient media sourcing, paradigms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think reality-based. We will step up our aptitude to target without lessening our ability to embrace. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate!