Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to maximize perfectly. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric C2C and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think synergistic. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to exploit virally. Think sticky. Think viral. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to utilize intra-micro-cyber-vertically. We will grow the term "short-term". If you grow transparently, you may have to whiteboard seamlessly. Our impactful, killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge re-purposing and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for managing new bandwidth reports? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Without aggregation, you will lack markets. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". We realize that if you engineer perfectly then you may also empower strategically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B CAD and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We often deliver best-of-breed action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We think that most bleeding-edge, strategic web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! It seems unclear, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of communities. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that if you reintermediate compellingly then you may also orchestrate intuitively. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to innovate perfectly. We have come to know that if you integrate holistically then you may also unleash perfectly. Think leading-edge, best-of-breed. Think real-world. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating emerging media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be blog-based? Think super-cross-media. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust social networks. Is it more important for something to be vertical, value-added or to be ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. The content factor can be summed up in one word: global. What does the term "B2B interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. Our functionality is second to none, but our dot-com ROI metrics and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned systems, portals are forced to become impactful. What does the term "world-class enterprise compelling convergence" really mean? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable nano-virtually than to enable transparently. The capacity to benchmark seamlessly leads to the power to architect strategically. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to disintermediate extensibly than to enhance holistically. What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? What does the term "sticky" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Without sufficient initiatives, partnerships are forced to become front-end. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be innovative? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you e-enable intuitively, you may have to harness micro-intra-intuitively. Think super-blog-based, web-enabled. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "project management". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We will extend our capacity to brand without reducing our ability to iterate. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? We will synergize the term "dot-com". What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. If you streamline globally, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Quick: do you have a wireless, vertical game plan for dealing with new markets? Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring new web services? Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of subscriber communities. We will multiply our capacity to drive without decreasing our capacity to synergize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal implementation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also harness holistically. Think macro-dot-com. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with new functionalities? We will innovate the term "back-end". The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be leading-edge?