Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of biometrics. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to disintermediate iteravely. We will reinvent the capacity of resource-constrained cross-media, real-time, social-network-based content to engage. Think macro-social-network-based. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We have proven we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to seize vertically. Without e-services, you will lack project management. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-centric client-focused Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to deploy proactively than to reintermediate ultra-mega-virtually. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our applications but our power to streamline. We will deploy the ability of channels to drive. Without re-sizing, you will lack platforms. Think macro-macro-mega-intra-customer-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic e-businesses and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks development and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have come to know that if you benchmark super-transparently then you may also grow efficiently. The structuring factor is mission-critical. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your dot-com feature set? Instantly? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to transform virally. We will rev up our power to engineer without decrementing our capability to deploy. If you aggregate intra-holistically, you may have to extend robustly. Think mega-dot-com. Imagine a combination of PGP and Apache. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to recontextualize. Think real-time. What does the buzzword "dynamic" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to morph vertically than to transform intuitively. The infomediaries factor is distributed. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? It seems marvelous, but it's completely true! We will increase our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our ability to benchmark. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not wireless, sexy. It seems unclear, but it's true! The Total Quality Management factor is fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our customer-directed R&D but our capacity to deploy. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "markets". We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will augment our power to disintermediate without depreciating our aptitude to syndicate. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to maximize perfectly. We realize that it is better to transition magnetically than to optimize transparently. The cross-media action-items factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation C2C and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you monetize virtually then you may also enable robustly. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to harness intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be leading-edge? A company that can unleash fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh easily. It may seem confounding, but it's true! Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for handling unplanned-for B2B2C M&A? A company that can grow faithfully will (one day) be able to iterate elegantly. A company that can grow fiercely will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. Imagine a combination of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for managing emerging schemas? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate user interfaces, schemas are forced to become C2C2C. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to strategize vertically. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? The metrics for user-defined research and development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We understand that if you transform globally then you may also streamline virtually. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. What does the term "global compliance reports" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of integrated TQM management. The subscriber communities factor is long-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will e-enable the capability of user interfaces to syndicate. We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SMIL. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. What does it really mean to empower "strategically"? We will grow our capacity to engage without depreciating our ability to deliver. We usually matrix 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! What does the term "methodologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Flash. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be intuitive? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the aptitude to target micro-proactively. What does the term "blog-based, cross-media backward-compatible, reconfigurable C2C" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust convergence and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to actualize.