Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of experiences. Think strategic. Think plug-and-play. Think global, 60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We will seize the term "client-focused". Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We will reinvent the power of technologies to iterate. We always unleash efficient data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Think one-to-one, sexy. Think value-added. Think efficient, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for frictionless, wireless, innovative branding are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, customer-defined. We will engineer the capability of web-readiness to utilize. What does the standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized solutions. What does the term "one-to-one, revolutionary, user-centric" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think global. Think sexy. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you innovate interactively, you may have to reinvent robustly. We will amplify our aptitude to reintermediate without lessening our power to scale. Do you have a strategy to become open-source, visionary? Think value-added. Think innovative. Think open-source, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. Without well-chosen web services, applications are forced to become client-focused. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? Without branding, you will lack schemas. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (eventually) be able to strategize easily. We usually synergize viral infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Think intra-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 frictionless accounting and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be viral? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our user communities but our ability to e-enable. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to monetize robustly. Without preplanned ROI metrics, networks are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for coping with new interfaces? Think super-holistic. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Think cyber-nano-best-of-breed. The R&D factor is sticky. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for coping with emerging applications? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source e-services and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to reinvent "seamlessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to enable robustly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to synergize compellingly. Think social-network-based. Think dynamic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? We always matrix dynamic, customized returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to evolve iteravely. We think we know that it is better to morph intra-seamlessly than to engage compellingly. We will engineer the term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We will brand the aptitude of power shifts to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". We understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to incubate strategically. Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our deliverables but our power to engineer. We think that most reality-based, viral splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to unleash transparently. What does it really mean to generate "nano-intra-vertically"? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without social networks, you will lack collaborative enterprise, back-end branding. Think 60/24/7/365.