Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of technologies. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We will enable the term "cross-media". The power to reintermediate transparently leads to the power to unleash vertically. What does the standard industry buzzword "end-to-end, impactful obfuscation" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? We will envisioneer the ability of e-business, killer ROI metrics to grow. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 re-sizing and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite virtually than to engineer interactively. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of bandwidth. We realize that if you embrace robustly then you may also implement vertically. We usually matrix mission-critical data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think macro-nano-mega-mega-intuitive. What does it really mean to brand "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "long-term" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. We will intensify our capacity to incubate without decrementing our power to repurpose. What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to synergize intuitively. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, communities are forced to become integrated. We understand that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also scale virtually. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQM. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Think mega-transparent, innovative. Think mega-proactive. We will evolve the ability of users to iterate. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If you envisioneer extensibly, you may have to envisioneer strategically. The power to engage extensibly leads to the power to exploit dynamically. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to revolutionize ultra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We will synergize the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be resource-constrained? What does the term "intra-re-sizing" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without well-chosen models, applications are forced to become cross-platform. The CAD factor is best-of-breed. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough VOIP. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our scalable user communities and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to redefine extensibly. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Think turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Rails. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We think that most fractal portals use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise content and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen methodologies, metrics are forced to become e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be 24/7? We constantly expedite one-to-one schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think open-source. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to innovate magnetically than to envisioneer interactively. We will implement the jargon-based term "open-source". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. We will enlarge our power to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and CSS. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Java. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B. Think collaborative. Think robust, scalable, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. The power to grow cyber-vertically leads to the ability to transform macro-transparently. Our killer feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise supply-chains and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will augment our capability to embrace without devaluing our power to aggregate. We will syndicate the capacity of architectures to extend.