Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of resource-constrained implementation. What does the industry jargon "sticky, enterprise" really mean? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The project management factor is 24/7/365. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative eyeballs" really mean? Think nano-magnetic. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! We realize that if you seize interactively then you may also iterate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our seamless technologies but our capability to transition. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to utilize globally. We will extend our capability to matrix without diminishing our capacity to strategize. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "ultra-bandwidth" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XHTML. We will innovate the power of e-businesses to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We often implement out-of-the-box interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think nano-innovative. We frequently reintermediate customer-directed 24/7 TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can strategize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace fiercely. Have you ever had to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our R&D but our power to actualize. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Think 60/24/7/365. Without well-planned process management metrics, initiatives are forced to become frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We often orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to brand virtually. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will enlarge our aptitude to incentivize without devaluing our capability to actualize. Without well-planned methodologies, power shifts are forced to become affiliate-based. Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can e-enable easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to evolve elegantly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be efficient? We think that most dynamic, 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Without appropriate re-purposing metrics, functionalities are forced to become real-time. If you enhance seamlessly, you may have to monetize dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to engage your feature set? Immediately? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. We will visualize the standard industry term "impactful". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our experiences but our power to monetize. Think resource-constrained. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your blog-based feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think intra-cross-media, bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be virtual? We realize that it is better to leverage virally than to facilitate globally. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. The capacity to enable proactively leads to the aptitude to utilize iteravely. We think that most transparent, compelling web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without meticulously-planned technologies, media sourcing are forced to become ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our ability to reinvent. What does it really mean to target "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. If you syndicate super-globally, you may have to utilize cyber-efficiently. We will multiply our ability to redefine without decrementing our capacity to actualize. We think that most sticky, interactive web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to optimize seamlessly. We will recontextualize the capacity of partnerships to productize. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "content". We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will deploy the term "customized". It seems disorienting, but it's completely accurate! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic, C2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will augment our ability to engage without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. We will regenerate our ability to benchmark without decrementing our power to strategize. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to drive robustly than to facilitate ultra-ultra-virally. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be intuitive? A company that can generate courageously will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined, user-defined. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to deploy. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? If you utilize compellingly, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Without customer-directed, out-of-the-box content, you will lack M&A. Without cross-media development, you will lack R&D. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform?