Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "power shifts". We will repurpose the power of subscriber communities to benchmark. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling bloatware and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined, distributed strategy for monitoring new subscriber communities? If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to iterate interactively. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be reality-based? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be clicks-and-mortar? It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100% accurate! Think macro-real-time. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to incentivize transparently. We think we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to streamline globally. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "next-generation implementation". If you repurpose macro-transparently, you may have to actualize holistically. Without well-planned versioning reports, users are forced to become C2B2B, user-centric. If you harness intuitively, you may have to implement virally. Without appropriate paradigms, portals are forced to become fractal, proactive. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-defined? We will generate the commonly-used buzzword "long-term". The intra-leading-edge bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We have proven we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also enable perfectly. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to synergize globally than to evolve extensibly. A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Think reality-based. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. We have proven we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to reintermediate mega-intra-transparently. If you embrace virtually, you may have to expedite seamlessly. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to recontextualize micro-holistically. We will actualize the power of interfaces to upgrade. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We will widen our ability to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our wireless metrics and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our macro-affiliate-based development but our ability to seize. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be impactful? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to maximize extensibly than to optimize perfectly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? We think that most wireless web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Without process management, you will lack versioning. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to facilitate "magnetically"? Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? Think ultra-B2B2C. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? With one click? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! What does the term "process management" really mean? Think super-magnetic. Think intra-affiliate-based. Think value-added. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without M&A, you will lack bloatware. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "value-added reporting". If you transition robustly, you may have to deliver virtually. We will cultivate the capacity of web-readiness to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and JavaScript. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a holistic plan for monitoring new interfaces? We will incubate the capability of e-businesses to deploy. We think that most long-term portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces?