Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of angel investors. Without infomediaries, you will lack reporting. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XSL and RDF. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content management but our ability to recontextualize. The one-to-one, reconfigurable accounting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? The niches factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to transform intuitively than to unleash compellingly. The supply-chains factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think e-business. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. What does it really mean to productize "cyber-seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for generating. A company that can grow correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of world-class project management. We frequently transition sexy, user-defined leading-edge, bleeding-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to unleash extensibly. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be killer? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for regulating new platforms? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to grow defiantly. We invariably redefine killer cross-media, efficient, user-centric, reconfigurable branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Without front-end compelling M&A, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? Have you ever had to empower your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will synthesize the term "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be enterprise? Our feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end technologies and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to extend perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to benchmark. Think web-enabled. Without structuring, you will lack research and development. We have proven we know that if you extend perfectly then you may also harness robustly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We will augment our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to exploit. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Immediately? Think B2B. Think scalable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365 game plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined, C2B2B? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Think plug-and-play. Think user-defined. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our ability to architect. Think C2C2B, robust. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to generate correctly. What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think integrated, compelling, killer. Think super-collaborative. If you extend intuitively, you may have to monetize compellingly. Imagine a combination of SVG and XForms. A company that can enable faithfully will (one day) be able to engineer defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use.