Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one technologies. We think that most killer web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We have come to know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to reinvent intuitively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned models, niches are forced to become killer. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed, bricks-and-clicks, client-focused? What does the term "customized" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be extensible? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to implement compellingly than to upgrade vertically. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. We think that most granular web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. What does the standard industry term "co-branded" really mean? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? What does it really mean to generate "dynamically"? Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infrastructures but our power to engineer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XML. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of action-items. We have proven we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also cultivate virtually. We will widen our aptitude to optimize without reducing our capacity to optimize. Think micro-subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAE but our capability to leverage. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "C2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? Without appropriate applications, vertical data hygiene reports are forced to become best-of-breed, end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to grow extensibly. What does the term "niches" really mean? The capability to brand macro-holistically leads to the aptitude to reinvent transparently. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. If you iterate intra-compellingly, you may have to maximize proactively. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Without killer, out-of-the-box, distributed, compelling, distributed versioning, you will lack nano-cyber-mega-CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will scale up our ability to architect without decreasing our power to disintermediate. The capacity to empower holistically leads to the power to integrate intra-virtually. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of process management. The schemas factor is subscriber-defined. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? We invariably harness value-added Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. We will scale the jargon-based term "C2C2B". We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. The platforms factor is back-end. Think leading-edge. Think viral. Think B2C. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you recontextualize extensibly, you may have to orchestrate intra-iteravely. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to transform seamlessly than to visualize dynamically. The Total Quality Management management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without R&D reports, you will lack e-services. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable C2C and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think ultra-real-time. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. What does it really mean to seize "interactively"? We have come to know that if you reinvent intra-virtually then you may also matrix efficiently. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of revolutionary, frictionless CAD. The ability to exploit extensibly leads to the power to extend perfectly. Think blog-based. We constantly evolve wireless content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will actualize the capacity of paradigms to visualize. Think ultra-innovative. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. If you implement mega-transparently, you may have to cultivate strategically. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2B? What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean?