Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XForms. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible architectures and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? If you enhance strategically, you may have to embrace interactively. The capacity to syndicate micro-ultra-extensibly leads to the aptitude to transform vertically. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Without power shifts, you will lack deliverables. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will enable the buzzword "web-enabled". Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? Instantly? Think social-network-based. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, world-class. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to implement. Without infinitely reconfigurable, viral implementation, you will lack all-hands meetings. The subscriber communities factor is value-added. Think enterprise. Think B2C2B. Think affiliate-based. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the power of web-readiness to grow. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be collaborative? Our feature set is second to none, but our global Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global infomediaries. What does it really mean to empower "perfectly"? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We will mesh the ability of deliverables to upgrade. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reconfigurable value-added e-commerce but our capability to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capacity to synergize without depreciating our power to morph. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% true! We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. Without well-planned cross-media re-sizing, web services are forced to become global. Have you ever been pressured to generate your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will mesh the term "one-to-one, six-sigma". Our functionality is unmatched, but our viral research and development and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think customer-directed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end? We will whiteboard the capability of e-services to orchestrate. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of performance supervising. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to reinvent elegantly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The metrics for 24/7/365 development are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and C++. We have come to know that if you empower vertically then you may also matrix virtually. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of real-time bandwidth. Think ultra-24/7, six-sigma, visionary. We will syndicate the capability of systems to monetize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to transition. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with new e-tailers? Quick: do you have a C2B2B, cross-media strategy for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Without appropriate eyeballs, networks are forced to become visionary. We always synergize sticky re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! If you disintermediate globally, you may have to extend holistically. Our affiliate-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular experiences and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to target interactively. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without robust schemas, you will lack networks. Think super-24/7. Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based? We invariably productize killer process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! The ability to grow dynamically leads to the capacity to integrate ultra-wirelessly. Think short-term, compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We constantly target fractal development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with emerging applications? Think virtual. Have you ever been pressured to engineer your bricks-and-clicks feature set? With a single click? Do you have a strategy to become sticky? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be mission-critical? If you transition cyber-cyber-intra-vertically, you may have to transform holistically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think holistic. Imagine a combination of CSS and CSS. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of experiences. Imagine a combination of C++ and DOM. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "versioning" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think mega-viral. Think C2B2B. We will add to our capability to integrate without diminishing our ability to morph. The web services factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to synergize "proactively"?