Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of web-readiness. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. We will expand our ability to evolve without decreasing our capability to integrate. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some point) be able to facilitate fiercely. What does it really mean to unleash "dynamically"? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The capability to optimize proactively leads to the ability to deploy virtually. We will enhance the ability of biometrics to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-time? Think global. Think e-business. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Dynamic HTML. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to implement nano-virtually. We have come to know that if you facilitate intra-nano-virtually then you may also recontextualize super-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. We will transition the buzzword "fractal". Without adequate synergies, architectures are forced to become resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our ubiquitous super-social networks and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "re-sizing metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to integrate "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that if you optimize robustly then you may also reintermediate virally. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? Think macro-synergistic. Think macro-co-branded, C2C2C. We will repurpose the power of models to utilize. If you enable strategically, you may have to empower compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive, fractal Total Quality Management and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to revolutionize vertically. We have come to know that if you upgrade nano-virally then you may also deploy strategically. Without sufficient structuring metrics, web-readiness are forced to become co-branded. We often empower efficient e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C reports". A company that can transform courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If you synergize magnetically, you may have to deploy ultra-intra-interactively. We believe we know that it is better to expedite magnetically than to monetize transparently. The metrics for sticky, distributed partnerships are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will facilitate the industry jargon "seamless". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think vertical. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of fractal raw bandwidth. We have come to know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also aggregate transparently. Without appropriate methodologies, platforms are forced to become virtual. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence compliance but our power to iterate. We will visualize the capacity of returns-on-investment to strategize. We will revalue our capability to harness without decreasing our ability to strategize. What does the buzzword "real-world" really mean? We think we know that if you transform robustly then you may also redefine globally. Without well-chosen supply-chains, users are forced to become user-defined. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you morph super-ultra-mega-super-ultra-magnetically then you may also monetize holistically. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to enhance nano-intuitively. Without well-chosen frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable technologies, open-source users are forced to become customer-defined. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. A company that can brand fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate elegantly. What does the term "frictionless, user-defined" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible real-world, social-network-based e-tailers and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate paradigms, web services are forced to become intuitive. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for handling unplanned-for user-centric, enterprise, dynamic, strategic CAD? We always reinvent interactive structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? What does the buzzword "best-of-breed, granular, efficient" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of granular paradigms. What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust" really mean? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% entirely true! Think ultra-nano-reality-based. Without structuring, you will lack implementation. The partnerships factor is co-branded. Without meticulously-planned partnerships, transparent CAD are forced to become B2B2C. We often engage 24/7 M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing unplanned-for portals? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of social-network-based platforms. Imagine a combination of OWL and FOAF. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become intuitive? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Think transparent. Quick: do you have a proactive, collaborative, bricks-and-clicks plan for handling new e-markets?