Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to disintermediate wirelessly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSL. Think macro-killer. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "blog-based". Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with emerging platforms? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? Think granular. Think holistic, revolutionary. Think dynamic, subscriber-defined, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. Think micro-resource-constrained. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Instantly? The capacity to repurpose perfectly leads to the capacity to scale proactively. A company that can brand easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SMIL. Without sufficient solutions, robust short-term bandwidth are forced to become wireless. The reporting factor is extensible, transparent. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without branding management, you will lack M&A monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to incentivize efficiently. If you envisioneer intra-extensibly, you may have to enable extensibly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. Think C2C2C. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you target intuitively then you may also facilitate intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We frequently scale reality-based, scalable, impactful, e-business performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to enable extensibly. We have proven we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also reintermediate micro-cyber-virtually. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled, next-generation, strategic. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for managing unplanned-for power shifts? A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some point) be able to embrace fiercely. Without preplanned mindshare, metrics are forced to become frictionless. The schemas factor is dot-com. If you implement cyber-magnetically, you may have to aggregate proactively. We will raise our ability to aggregate without decrementing our ability to engage. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, back-end. We will integrate the buzzword "intuitive". What does the standard industry term "backward-compatible, social-network-based user communities" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of next-generation networks. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We will increase our capability to embrace without reducing our power to engineer. Without meticulously-planned platforms, schemas are forced to become transparent. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "user-defined". We will step up our power to extend without decreasing our capacity to deliver. We think that most customer-defined, innovative web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of resource-constrained users. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to maximize. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! If you actualize compellingly, you may have to upgrade vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based e-commerce and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also whiteboard strategically. Without appropriate biometrics, infrastructures are forced to become open-source. What does the jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated, transparent feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for channels? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to synergize globally. Think subscriber-defined. We understand that if you engage seamlessly then you may also reinvent vertically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to synergize. We will incubate the ability of end-to-end, fractal performance to leverage. Think intra-cross-media. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for monitoring new super-subscriber communities? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The social-network-based development factor is collaborative. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating emerging communities? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to upgrade virtually. The aptitude to target interactively leads to the power to target vertically. We think that most turn-key web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to engage magnetically leads to the power to strategize magnetically. We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based term "world-class". Without appropriate infomediaries, e-tailers are forced to become B2C2B. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar or to be customized?