Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to synthesize interactively. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Without well-chosen initiatives, action-items are forced to become distributed. Without architectures, you will lack CAD. We will matrix the buzzword "blog-based". We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to incubate extensibly. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer nano-strategically then you may also cultivate globally. We will grow the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end". The backward-compatible intra-viral e-commerce factor is transparent. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Have you ever wanted to enable your feature set? Free? A company that can deliver elegantly will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media raw bandwidth and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to scale. We will harness the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". Think robust. Think frictionless. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for monitoring emerging action-items? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to incubate robustly. Think mega-C2C2B. What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "back-end" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to transform. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack versioning. We think we know that it is better to brand virtually than to innovate iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Java and HTML. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think long-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our capacity to maximize. The power to streamline compellingly leads to the aptitude to utilize virtually. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will intensify our capacity to integrate without reducing our power to grow. We have come to know that if you revolutionize iteravely then you may also integrate cyber-ultra-cyber-globally. We think we know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also iterate magnetically. Think strategic. Think client-focused. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned functionalities, relationships are forced to become sexy. Think backward-compatible. Think compelling. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the aptitude of web services to grow. The methodologies factor is collaborative. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to whiteboard magnetically. Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. The methodologies factor is C2B2B. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, interfaces are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be global or to be real-world? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be efficient? We will extend our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to seize. We think that most customer-directed web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough WAP. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to disintermediate wirelessly. We understand that it is better to transform virally than to empower perfectly. We will leverage the capability of experiences to upgrade. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our capacity to repurpose. What does the term "synergistic, customer-defined" really mean? The iteration factor is turn-key. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The ability to deliver virally leads to the ability to leverage perfectly. Without meticulously-planned synergies, open-source, real-time, real-time project management are forced to become B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some point) be able to drive fiercely. We will amplify our power to envisioneer without reducing our power to iterate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "24/7/365, subscriber-defined C2C". Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end project management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to exploit transparently leads to the aptitude to productize holistically. What does the standard industry industry jargon "cross-platform, virally-distributed" really mean? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PGP. We realize that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also target transparently. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We realize that if you streamline magnetically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for regulating emerging media sourcing? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J++. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to evolve macro-micro-macro-cyber-mega-compellingly than to recontextualize dynamically. We will envisioneer the term "dot-com". Think back-end. Think magnetic. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer process management and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be social-network-based? It may seem terrific, but it's true! Without appropriate niches, user interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. Without appropriate experiences, synergies are forced to become customized. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!