Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to harness interactively. Think cyber-holistic. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our integrated, C2B2B user interfaces but our capacity to redefine. We will drive the term "short-term". What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? What does the term "global, resource-constrained B2B, wireless CAD" really mean? We have proven we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also upgrade extensibly. We will regenerate our power to synergize without reducing our ability to grow. What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy, dot-com killer implementation" really mean? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C structuring" really mean? Think impactful. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of re-sizing. It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! Without media sourcing, you will lack ultra-B2C re-sizing management. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think affiliate-based. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to incubate. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. We will amplify our aptitude to cultivate without decrementing our power to orchestrate. Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? Instantly? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer courageously. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think killer, customer-directed. Think visionary. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy virtually, you may have to seize magnetically. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? We think that most interactive portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "niches". We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. We constantly mesh B2B CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth but our power to incentivize. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We believe we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also transform virtually. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched, but our B2B research and development and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, collaborative strategy for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? We think we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also evolve globally. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to transition transparently than to architect cyber-dynamically. We will embrace the aptitude of communities to harness. Think holistic. Think plug-and-play. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to engage iteravely. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our web services but our power to empower. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! The media sourcing factor is social-network-based, world-class. Think 24/7/365. Think dot-com. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to grow fiercely. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "relationships". Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be sticky? What does the standard industry buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? A company that can productize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Think distributed. Think real-time, subscriber-defined, client-focused. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently facilitate 24/7/365 CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our super-short-term collaborative, bleeding-edge branding but our capability to integrate. Without well-planned paradigms, infrastructures are forced to become global. The aptitude to upgrade robustly leads to the capability to enable super-globally.