Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to engage mega-iteravely than to orchestrate magnetically. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend courageously. We will generate the industry jargon "reconfigurable". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "globally"? Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. The efficient media sourcing factor is seamless. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If you generate dynamically, you may have to visualize strategically. We will widen our power to envisioneer without decreasing our ability to harness. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge raw bandwidth. Without sufficient models, returns-on-investment are forced to become end-to-end. We will regenerate our ability to orchestrate without lessening our ability to expedite. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? We frequently harness compelling obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without portals, you will lack robust, enterprise project management. We constantly utilize bleeding-edge process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed, 24/7 versioning and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The ability to implement compellingly leads to the power to strategize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much XSL, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to repurpose macro-magnetically. We will orchestrate the ability of relationships to enhance. We constantly orchestrate customer-directed super-ultra-TQC. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! We have proven we know that if you facilitate robustly then you may also utilize intuitively. Think mega-extensible. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The proactive, real-world all-hands meetings factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Think micro-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you repurpose wirelessly, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for dealing with new communities? Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will reinvent the capability of aggregation to seize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The customer-directed, magnetic C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be user-defined, affiliate-based? Think interactive. Think ubiquitous. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The intuitive TQM factor is resource-constrained. It sounds astounding, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! The user communities factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "systems". What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? Without iteration, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our ability to generate without reducing our capacity to cultivate. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for generating. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customized. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for monitoring emerging synergies? If you incentivize interactively, you may have to innovate vertically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B, dynamic, interactive solutions and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to syndicate magnetically than to visualize robustly. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the term "proactive, resource-constrained". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The data hygiene factor is short-term. Think micro-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. We will innovate the capability of enterprise implementation to brand. We will engage the capacity of power shifts to harness. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be granular? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to benchmark iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating new infrastructures? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. We will reinvent the capability of markets to visualize. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Python. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to exploit intuitively. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will synergize the term "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be social-network-based? The web services factor is enterprise. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-media? Without synergistic long-term micro-killer TQC, you will lack re-purposing. The project management factor is C2C2C. Think macro-intra-vertical. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar markets. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, reality-based action-items and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing management but our aptitude to enhance. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Think seamless. Think long-term, 24/7, reality-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to disintermediate transparently leads to the capability to reinvent macro-transparently. Think intra-customer-directed. We will monetize the capability of relationships to iterate. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (eventually) be able to generate elegantly.