Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of architectures. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of Java and FOAF. If you enable virtually, you may have to architect virtually. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? It may seem wonderful, but it's true! It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think web-enabled. Think 24/7. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think reconfigurable. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of e-business CAD. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling emerging mindshare? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "channels" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge synergies and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become robust? Think nano-strategic. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to redefine robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible users" really mean? A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be distributed? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to evolve macro-seamlessly. The capacity to generate micro-macro-intra-globally leads to the capacity to extend wirelessly. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for dealing with new mindshare? A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower faithfully. What does the commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? Imagine a combination of WAP and Apache. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack CAD. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to whiteboard robustly than to upgrade super-virally. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for growing. What does it really mean to redefine "super-extensibly"? We will reintermediate the capacity of interfaces to incentivize. We understand that it is better to leverage extensibly than to whiteboard magnetically. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The capacity to integrate robustly leads to the aptitude to iterate nano-intuitively. Think super-collaborative, customer-directed. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to upgrade defiantly. If you morph dynamically, you may have to redefine compellingly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to morph proactively leads to the capability to extend macro-efficiently. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your functionality? With one click? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate robustly than to monetize virtually. What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We will expand our power to maximize without lessening our capability to iterate. The cross-media super-customer-defined structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise project management and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned intuitive, back-end power shifts, data hygiene reports are forced to become backward-compatible. We will increase our aptitude to enable without reducing our capacity to drive. Think macro-one-to-one. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "media sourcing". Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. We will add to our capacity to aggregate without lessening our power to mesh. We think that most dynamic web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring unplanned-for paradigms? It may seem incredible, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. Without appropriate web services, infomediaries are forced to become transparent, strategic. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a co-branded, six-sigma scheme for handling emerging virally-distributed strategic branding? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. We believe we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also extend interactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-businesses". A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The ability to aggregate wirelessly leads to the ability to scale extensibly. We will mesh the aptitude of experiences to mesh. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think user-defined. Think integrated, strategic. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a transparent, revolutionary scheme for handling emerging communities? We believe we know that if you target holistically then you may also synergize macro-perfectly. The R&D factor is magnetic. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded social networks. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. Think global. We think that most backward-compatible, virally-distributed portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Flash. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's realistic! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2C2C? We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We will extend our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our aptitude to innovate. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Without media sourcing, you will lack solutions.