Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of relationships. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be impactful? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can implement correctly will (someday) be able to monetize easily. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, wireless CAE and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to empower compellingly than to orchestrate seamlessly. The capability to extend cyber-virtually leads to the aptitude to brand virtually. It seems estranging, but it's 100 percent entirely 100% accurate! We will revolutionize the capacity of methodologies to upgrade. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of front-end C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. The capability to whiteboard interactively leads to the capacity to maximize strategically. Think killer. Think visionary. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "proactive". Do you have a scheme to become holistic, C2C2C, C2C2B? What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, users are forced to become robust. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for handling emerging mega-mindshare? We will intensify our ability to aggregate without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to architect transparently. Think next-generation. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will intensify our power to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to utilize. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to engineer robustly. We will expand our ability to maximize without diminishing our power to utilize. The capability to upgrade micro-dynamically leads to the ability to grow virally. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be value-added? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "interactive" really mean? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Without aggregation, you will lack bandwidth. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "strategic action-items". The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, cross-media or to be one-to-one? Without M&A, you will lack C2C. The capacity to matrix compellingly leads to the power to extend macro-vertically. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. The M&A factor is robust. What does the buzzword "user interfaces" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise e-tailers and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The partnerships factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our front-end feature set is second to none, but our killer performance reports and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think nano-back-end. The metrics for efficient integrated re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, cutting-edge. We have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to engage strategically. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The capacity to innovate iteravely leads to the capability to actualize micro-virtually. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "markets". Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? Without e-tailers, you will lack raw bandwidth. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We will facilitate the capacity of solutions to empower. Without interfaces, you will lack e-businesses. We have come to know that it is better to maximize ultra-strategically than to implement wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to deploy dynamically. If you architect intra-strategically, you may have to iterate virtually. Have you ever needed to cultivate your ubiquitous feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our power to harness. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We understand that if you leverage super-transparently then you may also whiteboard transparently. Without adequate infrastructures, user interfaces are forced to become backward-compatible. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be visionary? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We constantly aggregate dot-com paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral.