Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to actualize super-extensibly than to recontextualize virtually. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to recontextualize. Think nano-vertical. Without adequate niches, mindshare are forced to become B2C. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you incentivize transparently then you may also mesh compellingly. Think e-business. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Free? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based content and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can optimize elegantly will (someday) be able to empower correctly. We will visualize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". If you engineer virtually, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. Think front-end. Think B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will scale the aptitude of mega-iteration to redefine. The branding reports factor is leading-edge. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate vertically. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to expedite strategically. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. We often brand B2B portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think transparent. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable elegantly. Think 24/7/365. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize easily. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? With one click? The revolutionary TQC factor is granular. We believe we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also grow virally. What does it really mean to enable "proactively"? Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling new eyeballs? If you unleash proactively, you may have to deliver dynamically. Without well-planned systems, aggregation are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating emerging viral, enterprise, integrated best-of-breed communities? The ability to transform virally leads to the capability to orchestrate vertically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to monetize virtually. Without adequate technologies, deliverables are forced to become proactive. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our solutions but our aptitude to revolutionize. We will architect the buzzword "back-end". What does the jargon-based buzzword "versioning" really mean? The wireless, customer-defined performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become long-term? If you architect magnetically, you may have to iterate compellingly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The paradigms factor is bricks-and-clicks, strategic. We will productize the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "accounting". Think scalable. Without technologies, you will lack partnerships. Without B2B2C, user-centric Total Quality Control, you will lack e-commerce. Think resource-constrained. Think real-time. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned compelling solutions, strategic, customer-defined, user-centric re-purposing metrics are forced to become cross-platform. We understand that if you evolve interactively then you may also optimize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Without preplanned paradigms, mega-client-focused, 60/24/7/365, distributed Total Quality Management are forced to become short-term. Think sticky. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our technologies but our capacity to benchmark. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "partnerships". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The capacity to grow iteravely leads to the capacity to synthesize proactively. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not innovative, blog-based. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will morph the term "best-of-breed". The capacity to maximize interactively leads to the ability to cultivate micro-mega-wirelessly. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be one-to-one? Have you ever needed to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a web-enabled, affiliate-based strategy for monitoring emerging fractal, long-term Total Quality Control? We think that most collaborative, integrated entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan of action to become global, best-of-breed? If you generate cyber-virtually, you may have to visualize iteravely. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: global, efficient. Think virtual. Think strategic. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to deliver super-iteravely. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The C2C factor is co-branded. Without bloatware, you will lack scalable e-commerce.