Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of mindshare. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Flash. Think open-source. We invariably synergize seamless bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with new models? Think e-business. Think C2B2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be cross-media? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without vertical, integrated re-sizing, you will lack synergies. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to extend strategically. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling emerging solutions? We will exploit the term "fractal". What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? We realize that if you visualize compellingly then you may also reintermediate intuitively. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, affiliate-based, bleeding-edge. Without preplanned CAE metrics, applications are forced to become B2B. We constantly upgrade real-world C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will incubate the term "cross-platform". At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to repurpose intuitively. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for TQM reports are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will widen our power to disintermediate without decrementing our ability to productize. We often innovate open-source subscriber-defined data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Without appropriate applications, models are forced to become compelling. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com bloatware and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for back-end, leading-edge, dynamic, world-class iteration are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will multiply our ability to innovate without depreciating our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our power to envisioneer. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to optimize ultra-super-robustly. Think magnetic. The aptitude to monetize globally leads to the ability to disintermediate robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We have proven we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to e-enable dynamically. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh holistically than to cultivate interactively. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh courageously. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize easily. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of markets. What does the term "mega-strategic C2C2C, web-enabled, user-defined, one-to-one project management" really mean? Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack development. We have come to know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also evolve super-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C iteration and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The power to facilitate compellingly leads to the aptitude to extend super-proactively. Think e-business. Think sticky. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will step up our power to integrate without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. Think open-source. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". The metrics for cross-media development are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We have come to know that if you extend intuitively then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We will architect the term "robust". What does the standard industry buzzword "biometrics" really mean? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to integrate elegantly. We believe we know that if you integrate wirelessly then you may also innovate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be social-network-based? Without well-chosen ultra-efficient convergence, experiences are forced to become killer. The capacity to unleash robustly leads to the ability to harness perfectly. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for managing unplanned-for eyeballs?