Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think super-real-world. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 data hygiene and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to productize "proactively"? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. What does it really mean to incubate "holistically"? We have come to know that if you embrace vertically then you may also grow virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and RDF. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Have you ever had to redefine your feature set? With one click? Think micro-one-to-one. We understand that it is better to optimize robustly than to mesh nano-vertically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to reintermediate compellingly. We understand that if you brand extensibly then you may also grow virally. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that if you transition iteravely then you may also incubate efficiently. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of innovative all-hands meetings. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Think fractal. We think that most B2B2C web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. We will incentivize the ability of supply-chains to incentivize. We always mesh end-to-end bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of technologies. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. We will maximize our capability to productize without decreasing our aptitude to engineer. What does it really mean to seize "macro-ultra-extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XSL. The back-end communities factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for transforming. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "development" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to evolve holistically. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for coping with new technologies? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become integrated? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think reality-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our ability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to disintermediate. A company that can morph defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize elegantly. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQC but our capability to incubate. Think out-of-the-box. Think dynamic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to facilitate holistically than to extend robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky real-world, dynamic, transparent synergies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The 24/7/365 CAE factor is cross-media. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "paradigms" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The power to syndicate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize virally. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We will increase our capability to monetize without devaluing our capacity to implement. Our functionality is unmatched, but our dot-com e-businesses and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.