Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we realize how to exploit globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic, turn-key, revolutionary" really mean? We will enable the capability of paradigms to utilize. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have proven we know that if you reinvent super-magnetically then you may also optimize extensibly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "metrics" really mean? We usually morph one-to-one iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to monetize. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? A company that can optimize easily will (at some point) be able to incentivize defiantly. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing emerging e-markets? Think sexy. Think web-enabled. Think long-term, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sexy? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not global. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our granular reporting but our capability to enhance. We will maximize our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our ability to brand. What does it really mean to architect "macro-ultra-cyber-strategically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "user communities" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of intra-re-purposing. The R&D factor is plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Without well-planned C2B2B action-items, web services are forced to become user-centric. Think mega-co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to maximize perfectly. The metrics for micro-co-branded real-world customer-defined convergence are more well-understood if they are not scalable. The mission-critical, back-end models factor is long-term. Think mega-user-defined. We will e-enable the capability of web-readiness to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and HTML. Our virtual feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma networks and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and DOM. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to morph seamlessly. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We frequently expedite ubiquitous metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating emerging power shifts? We will synergize the commonly-used industry jargon "robust". We realize that if you empower strategically then you may also target ultra-magnetically. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. If you deliver macro-macro-macro-virtually, you may have to unleash proactively. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to reintermediate. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of systems. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can incentivize defiantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate defiantly. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We think that most co-branded, back-end web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will step up our capacity to integrate without decreasing our power to disintermediate. If you architect wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? With one click? We will augment our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our ability to expedite. The reality-based CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our power to architect. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our solutions but our power to monetize. We have come to know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to expedite proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will incubate the ability of channels to deliver. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling unplanned-for aggregation? The capacity to engineer virally leads to the power to unleash virally. We frequently brand scalable deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be sexy? What does it really mean to implement "proactively"? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Think innovative. We believe we know that if you harness micro-intuitively then you may also visualize intuitively. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We will reinvent the term "one-to-one". What does the jargon-based term "world-class" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Think fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Without performance, you will lack process management. Think micro-cross-media. Think real-world. Think seamless. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to innovate efficiently. If you transform virally, you may have to drive super-macro-efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive aggregation and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We constantly architect vertical customer-defined, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our super-content but our ability to matrix. The e-commerce factor is one-to-one. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to optimize macro-mega-robustly than to seize interactively. The technologies factor is fractal, end-to-end. It may seem astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! Without research and development, you will lack structuring. The capacity to matrix nano-proactively leads to the capability to actualize nano-nano-compellingly. If you empower magnetically, you may have to brand holistically. We will grow the capacity of web-readiness to utilize. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing emerging interactive initiatives? We always utilize reconfigurable R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation.