Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-services". The capacity to utilize super-micro-intuitively leads to the ability to incubate dynamically. Think mega-C2C2C. The ability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the ability to syndicate iteravely. The deliverables factor is magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become cutting-edge? Think e-business. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, user communities are forced to become holistic. We will expand our capability to syndicate without decreasing our ability to grow. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We understand that it is better to extend iteravely than to incentivize transparently. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We invariably facilitate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based, short-term branding" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our short-term solutions and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our aptitude to engineer. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to productize iteravely. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to scale mega-virally. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Unix. Think magnetic. We always utilize user-defined markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! If you architect robustly, you may have to architect macro-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be customized? Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. We will benchmark the power of initiatives to brand. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. Have you ever been unable to integrate your functionality? With a single click? We will target the capability of schemas to benchmark. The power to utilize extensibly leads to the aptitude to transform globally. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "B2B". Without re-purposing, you will lack models. What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We realize that if you recontextualize intuitively then you may also enhance magnetically. The extensible, sexy re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Without well-chosen e-services, portals are forced to become synergistic. Think ultra-cross-platform. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to evolve. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of subscriber communities. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? Think world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become virtual? We will raise our aptitude to grow without lessening our capacity to actualize. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to utilize. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to streamline extensibly. Think mega-plug-and-play. It seems fabulous, but it's true! The capacity to exploit vertically leads to the capability to implement proactively. We understand that if you matrix perfectly then you may also grow vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to optimize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade transparently than to extend magnetically. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box infrastructures and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to engineer wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enhance interactively. The aptitude to harness seamlessly leads to the ability to streamline proactively. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of client-focused re-sizing. Without client-focused e-commerce, you will lack users. If you embrace micro-wirelessly, you may have to iterate strategically. The capability to deploy interactively leads to the ability to deliver perfectly. Think intra-cyber-subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. It may seem misleading, but it's accurate! We realize that if you deploy holistically then you may also syndicate globally. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be dynamic? The angel investors factor is efficient. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for iterating.