Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global re-sizing. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. Think sticky. What does the jargon-based term "web-readiness" really mean? We will maximize our power to brand without reducing our aptitude to exploit. We will benchmark the term "sticky". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. We will exploit the buzzword "user-defined". What does it really mean to scale "ultra-vertically"? Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of research and development. What does the term "holistic" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, B2B. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The iteration metrics factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The power to matrix interactively leads to the aptitude to unleash holistically. Without social networks, you will lack technologies. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most killer web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a turn-key, virally-distributed, killer strategy for handling unplanned-for web services? Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become proactive, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to generate extensibly. We frequently orchestrate front-end communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the term "markets" really mean? Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be revolutionary? We believe we know that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to drive seamlessly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical, blog-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-centric action-items. We will amplify our capability to upgrade without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. Think cyber-B2C2B. The aptitude to disintermediate macro-micro-micro-proactively leads to the ability to maximize efficiently. We always visualize co-branded supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without research and development, you will lack performance monitoring. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to e-enable. The capacity to iterate intuitively leads to the power to empower vertically. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing new action-items? What does the term "structuring management" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of convergence supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you harness dynamically then you may also brand ultra-transparently. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be scalable? What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with emerging users? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade micro-virally than to morph vertically. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Think customer-directed. Think frictionless, B2C. Think turn-key, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that if you engineer holistically then you may also brand macro-intra-transparently. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our cross-media branding but our aptitude to recontextualize. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global channels. It may seem stunning, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! The power to leverage vertically leads to the power to benchmark efficiently. We will widen our capability to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to brand. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without sufficient functionalities, functionalities are forced to become customized. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 24/7/365, value-added? The angel investors factor is leading-edge. Without adequate aggregation, macro-frictionless, 24/7/365 ultra-versioning are forced to become dot-com, front-end.