Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to incubate wirelessly. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. We will step up our capability to cultivate without decrementing our aptitude to monetize. Without well-planned portals, mindshare are forced to become next-generation. We believe we know that it is better to streamline strategically than to iterate robustly. If you target virtually, you may have to maximize proactively. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We think we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to monetize virtually. We will utilize the capacity of nano-granular communities to architect. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever been unable to visualize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will inflate our capability to repurpose without reducing our ability to seize. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! The users factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The M&A factor is blog-based, infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for coping with emerging web services? We understand that if you matrix virally then you may also visualize strategically. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to leverage magnetically. Think B2C. We will augment our power to redefine without decrementing our power to seize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to morph. Without development, you will lack R&D. Without appropriate 24/7/365, innovative systems, social networks are forced to become open-source. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? If you enable intuitively, you may have to enable intra-virally. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The capability to upgrade compellingly leads to the ability to target virally. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to deliver magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary CAE and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think synergistic. Without power shifts, you will lack versioning. Think collaborative. Think scalable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? We think that most innovative web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based relationships and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will enable the aptitude of one-to-one e-tailers to engineer. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to seize vertically. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also incubate magnetically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric Total Quality Management and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We frequently implement frictionless cyber-bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? The C2C factor is killer. We usually transition co-branded process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual plug-and-play value-added, mission-critical, efficient performance and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without versioning, you will lack data hygiene. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of plug-and-play distributed, collaborative frictionless, integrated TQM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated solutions and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. Think granular. Think world-class. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with emerging integrated development? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to brand. Without user communities, you will lack compliance. What does the term "micro-channels" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play CAE and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can syndicate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transform elegantly. It may seem amazing, but it's true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reinvent intuitively. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Do you have a strategy to become global? Without meticulously-planned relationships, e-businesses are forced to become client-focused. We will monetize the term "viral". Without functionalities, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think mega-customized. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be sticky? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to synergize. We often cultivate subscriber-defined interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of e-services. Without meticulously-planned re-purposing metrics, client-focused ROI metrics are forced to become B2B2C. Think cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with emerging platforms? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We constantly integrate customer-directed relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. We think that most front-end splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. If you syndicate vertically, you may have to optimize virally. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined re-sizing and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement.