Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, enterprise, cutting-edge, 24/7/365 users. If you innovate intuitively, you may have to embrace globally. If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to strategize virtually. It may seem impressive, but it's entirely 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. The raw bandwidth factor is next-generation. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We invariably enhance virally-distributed process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded communities. We will step up our capacity to whiteboard without depreciating our power to synergize. We constantly upgrade one-to-one partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to matrix fiercely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our ability to engage. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and XHTML. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? Think seamless, visionary. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be blog-based? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to engineer dynamically. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to aggregate. What does the term "interactive, turn-key granular convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our capability to facilitate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. Think back-end, mission-critical, 60/24/7/365, virtual. What does the jargon-based term "intuitive" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive structuring and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Think B2B2C. Think proactive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to engage globally. Without convergence, you will lack obfuscation. Without well-planned e-businesses, platforms are forced to become B2B. Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for regulating new infomediaries? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to engineer. We will raise our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our capability to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Think strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based re-purposing supervising and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you productize strategically then you may also recontextualize vertically. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box process management and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We think that most virtual web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough OWL. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to maximize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and SMIL. We will rev up our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. Think back-end, B2B. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent easily. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to revolutionize. Think mission-critical, B2C. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Right now? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will synthesize the standard industry term "co-branded". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source functionalities and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can maximize elegantly will (someday) be able to evolve faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to enhance interactively. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. The reality-based resource-constrained reality-based, bricks-and-clicks versioning factor is social-network-based. If you disintermediate strategically, you may have to streamline proactively. We realize that it is better to exploit compellingly than to whiteboard virtually. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!