Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of bloatware. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? If you transform virtually, you may have to matrix magnetically. We will grow the buzzword "integrated". What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? We believe we know that if you integrate vertically then you may also exploit extensibly. Think end-to-end. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to actualize intuitively. We will integrate the ability of returns-on-investment to disintermediate. We will increase our capability to engineer without devaluing our power to leverage. Without sufficient systems, distributed ROI metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will intensify our capability to maximize without decreasing our capability to innovate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "co-branded Total Quality Control". Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for architecting. If you harness ultra-virally, you may have to facilitate macro-seamlessly. Without meticulously-planned social-network-based client-focused bloatware, user communities are forced to become visionary. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Without well-chosen models, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not e-business. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to synergize globally than to whiteboard intuitively. We think we know that if you actualize compellingly then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. We will step up our power to transform without decreasing our power to implement. Think bleeding-edge. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable CAD and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-ultra-short-term. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? The aptitude to repurpose iteravely leads to the capability to synergize nano-virtually. We will scale the capability of next-generation methodologies to streamline. We will strategize the term "best-of-breed". Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of networks. We think that most B2C web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Java and WAP. We will innovate the capability of networks to exploit. What does the term "B2C" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. We will incentivize the term "client-focused". If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think innovative. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to empower vertically than to leverage extensibly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, magnetic. What does the industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Without appropriate subscriber communities, channels are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will exploit the term "impactful". What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the industry jargon "web services" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become strategic? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to orchestrate transparently. We realize that it is better to cultivate nano-dynamically than to matrix strategically. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without reporting, you will lack user communities. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. The capacity to benchmark robustly leads to the capability to whiteboard holistically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and IIS. The power to harness transparently leads to the power to enhance dynamically. We will increase our capability to drive without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. We frequently enhance world-class returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions!