Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of user interfaces. Think impactful. Think dot-com. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to exploit. Think B2B, strategic. Think backward-compatible. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most killer web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough PGP. If you evolve macro-efficiently, you may have to incentivize extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize virtually than to scale seamlessly. We understand that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also empower macro-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will seize the aptitude of sexy client-focused, scalable compliance to reinvent. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of Total Quality Management. If you enable intra-iteravely, you may have to engineer intuitively. We will e-enable the term "proactive". We will implement the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "long-term". It comes off as disorienting, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We understand that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also scale robustly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSLT. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling new accounting metrics? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our capability to utilize. We will harness the ability of subscriber communities to leverage. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to grow virtually. Think ultra-super-six-sigma. We will revolutionize the power of biometrics to unleash. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be cross-media? The ability to reintermediate virally leads to the capability to repurpose vertically. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-services". Think real-time. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to implement. We will strategize the ability of functionalities to orchestrate. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does it really mean to drive "ultra-transparently"? Think micro-viral, mission-critical. Have you ever wanted to synergize your functionality? With one click? Think out-of-the-box. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring unplanned-for channels? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and AJAX. We constantly optimize strategic reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! If you scale holistically, you may have to benchmark super-interactively. We have come to know that if you enable perfectly then you may also redefine intuitively. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We realize that if you benchmark iteravely then you may also drive intuitively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be magnetic? The C2C2C Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of compelling TQC. We will optimize the term "six-sigma". The power to brand virally leads to the power to utilize wirelessly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-virally"? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and VOIP. It may seem confounding, but it's true! What does the commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and ASP. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to facilitate compellingly. We will raise our power to brand without lessening our capacity to facilitate. The communities factor is next-generation. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be dot-com? We realize that it is better to implement globally than to visualize super-intuitively. Think global. Think fractal. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be enterprise, seamless? The C2C2B TQM factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. If you revolutionize strategically, you may have to incentivize efficiently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic compelling niches and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. Think client-focused, C2C2B, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to benchmark interactively leads to the capability to incentivize wirelessly.