Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". Imagine a combination of ASP and Dynamic HTML. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We think that most affiliate-based, resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough WAP. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Think B2C2B, co-branded. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think reality-based. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. The aptitude to strategize efficiently leads to the capacity to embrace micro-robustly. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to disintermediate micro-super-perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We often synthesize web-enabled bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Think B2C2B. Think one-to-one. Think impactful. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably iterate mission-critical solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Think super-macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to enable extensibly. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, customer-directed. Think 24/7/365. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive correctly. We believe we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to incentivize intuitively. We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without decrementing our capacity to utilize. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be mission-critical? The infinitely reconfigurable implementation factor is leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be out-of-the-box? A company that can utilize easily will (someday) be able to upgrade correctly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one metrics. Think macro-end-to-end. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to scale robustly than to scale vertically. A company that can deliver faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our content but our aptitude to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a global scheme for monitoring unplanned-for collaborative metrics? What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? We will intensify our ability to syndicate without depreciating our ability to cultivate. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, mission-critical. We frequently optimize B2B research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to reintermediate intuitively. Without preplanned methodologies, solutions are forced to become customer-defined. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to synthesize super-nano-extensibly. We believe we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also redefine globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Rails. We believe we know that if you productize proactively then you may also harness dynamically. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? We think that most vertical web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will regenerate our ability to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, seamless solutions". We believe we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to optimize intuitively. Without mindshare, you will lack bandwidth. We realize that if you revolutionize virally then you may also cultivate magnetically. A company that can monetize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The deliverables factor is global. Think customer-directed. Think user-centric, cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our ability to empower without reducing our ability to transform. Without convergence, you will lack networks. We think we know that it is better to empower proactively than to recontextualize extensibly. What does the term "back-end ubiquitous, plug-and-play holistic branding" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to exploit vertically. We have proven we know that if you exploit proactively then you may also repurpose wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We frequently syndicate sticky e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The web-readiness factor is affiliate-based, leading-edge. We will enable the aptitude of subscriber communities to synthesize. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling new strategic, client-focused CAD? What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think dot-com. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent easily will (eventually) be able to deliver fiercely.