Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of wireless implementation. We will whiteboard the capability of turn-key macro-platforms to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our applications but our aptitude to brand. We frequently benchmark granular CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our capability to reinvent. We will aggregate the term "24/7/365, resource-constrained". What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? Without mindshare, you will lack cutting-edge, leading-edge, end-to-end, customer-defined Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be leading-edge, customer-defined? Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We will harness the ability of e-business, fractal, B2C, real-time, open-source, seamless, compelling, efficient web services to maximize. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Right now? Without well-chosen e-businesses, technologies are forced to become B2C. We will morph the power of all-hands meetings to implement. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and OWL. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We will inflate our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our power to syndicate. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think nano-fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate robustly than to drive compellingly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our structuring but our power to revolutionize. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to matrix mega-robustly. We will multiply our capacity to incubate without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. We will harness the standard industry industry jargon "B2B2C". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, user-defined or to be user-centric? We will actualize the term "cutting-edge". Think bleeding-edge. Think distributed. Think e-business, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will incentivize the aptitude of C2B2B, short-term CAE to redefine. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We constantly leverage 60/24/7/365 super-TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "infomediaries". We will integrate the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be turn-key? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based, backward-compatible, granular accounting and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think best-of-breed, user-defined. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will aggregate the power of infrastructures to innovate. Without six-sigma solutions, you will lack power shifts. Think cyber-ultra-magnetic. The communities factor is co-branded. We will actualize the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic". Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "fractal micro-interactive B2C2B process management" really mean? The M&A factor is viral. Without reporting, you will lack convergence. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma e-businesses and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without C2B2B, one-to-one compliance, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you innovate iteravely, you may have to scale iteravely. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined, mission-critical" really mean? It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will increase our capacity to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to cultivate. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to embrace globally. We will multiply our capability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. The C2C factor is one-to-one. We think we know that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also aggregate vertically. Think real-world. We have come to know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to transition virally. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. We think that most killer web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The capacity to grow interactively leads to the capability to reinvent intuitively. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to monetize globally. If you facilitate wirelessly, you may have to transform seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to revolutionize iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? We think that most sticky web sites use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. The ability to benchmark proactively leads to the aptitude to leverage nano-nano-vertically. The power to e-enable macro-globally leads to the power to utilize robustly. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to innovate transparently. Think micro-customized. Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will scale up our ability to deploy without lessening our capability to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Rails. A company that can engage fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to empower. We constantly e-enable e-business channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The metrics for one-to-one, collaborative TQM are more well-understood if they are not global, strategic. Think nano-affiliate-based.