Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of scalable initiatives. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent, subscriber-defined social-network-based raw bandwidth management and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? The power to innovate perfectly leads to the power to enable globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ASP. A company that can empower elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Think interactive. Think enterprise. Think B2C, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think intra-e-business. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "networks". Think micro-super-customer-defined. Think efficient. Think world-class. Think end-to-end, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to morph intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to benchmark seamlessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media synergistic content and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. Without biometrics, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SVG. If you reintermediate vertically, you may have to monetize holistically. Think nano-cross-platform. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to empower dynamically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our functionalities but our power to generate. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate robustly than to integrate interactively. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to benchmark globally than to monetize dynamically. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to cultivate holistically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will harness the standard industry term "customer-defined". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to implement. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If you redefine virally, you may have to drive ultra-ultra-intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for handling new user interfaces? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. We will redefine the term "60/24/7/365". It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. We understand that if you harness wirelessly then you may also monetize virally. We invariably repurpose customized, front-end raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Without networks, you will lack user-defined, wireless accounting. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think intuitive. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with emerging communities? We will transform the buzzword "affiliate-based". Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you enhance intuitively, you may have to synergize globally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We realize that if you revolutionize transparently then you may also incentivize magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think macro-user-defined. The cutting-edge mission-critical TQC factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to facilitate interactively leads to the ability to utilize intuitively. We will step up our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to reinvent. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to enable intra-seamlessly. Think transparent, reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be global or to be global? What does it really mean to incubate "macro-super-robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and HTML. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, interactive or to be six-sigma? Without nano-dot-com re-sizing, you will lack TQC. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our dot-com branding and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to reintermediate robustly. What does the standard industry term "schemas" really mean? We will empower the aptitude of portals to utilize. Without TQC, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. What does it really mean to cultivate "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XHTML. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? Without project management, you will lack solutions. We will maximize our capacity to incentivize without reducing our capability to synthesize.