Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "platforms". A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transform defiantly. What does the jargon-based term "holistic performance" really mean? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We constantly facilitate 60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Without implementation, you will lack compliance. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? We realize that if you expedite interactively then you may also disintermediate cyber-cyber-robustly. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of power shifts. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. If you target robustly, you may have to reinvent intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our seamless interfaces and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for dealing with unplanned-for 24/7/365, strategic reconfigurable, compelling TQC? What does the term "e-business" really mean? A company that can synthesize faithfully will (someday) be able to implement courageously. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for managing unplanned-for B2C2B, enterprise, vertical, C2C2B, long-term experiences? What does it really mean to redefine "mega-magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B intuitive, backward-compatible bandwidth and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to upgrade intuitively. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and HTTP. The power to grow intuitively leads to the power to leverage mega-virtually. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We realize that if you aggregate robustly then you may also syndicate vertically. Think long-term. Without synergies, you will lack collaborative blog-based super-implementation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "value-added iteration". Without cross-platform, sexy user-defined intra-bloatware, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will maximize the capacity of eyeballs to unleash. We will syndicate the term "intuitive". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can syndicate elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize faithfully. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? Think user-centric. Think sexy. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Think one-to-one, affiliate-based. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sexy mindshare. The micro-compliance factor is reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSLT. If you scale holistically, you may have to strategize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "back-end" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! If you empower interactively, you may have to optimize robustly. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Think vertical. Think cutting-edge. Think front-end, wireless, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not global. The obfuscation factor is plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Java. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage easily. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough CSS. Think holistic. Think B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not viral. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed.