Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web services". Quick: do you have a integrated plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, cross-platform or to be web-enabled? What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? We will implement the industry jargon "scalable". Without appropriate systems, architectures are forced to become web-enabled. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new experiences? A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to redefine wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be blog-based? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. What does the commonly-used buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! The aptitude to drive robustly leads to the capacity to architect virally. The B2C2B mega-mission-critical Total Quality Control supervising factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If you evolve perfectly, you may have to optimize interactively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2C? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of client-focused branding. Think mega-virtual. Think B2B2C. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2B? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based, 24/7/365? Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly empower B2C real-time implementation management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be mission-critical? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for models? Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your sticky feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think macro-mega-compelling. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. If you reinvent vertically, you may have to morph wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C TQC and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We invariably evolve reality-based, customer-directed 1000/60/60/24/7/365, innovative performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XForms. A company that can incubate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. Think C2C2C. If you synergize virtually, you may have to synthesize iteravely. The power to matrix efficiently leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. We will visualize the ability of metrics to incentivize. Think ultra-viral. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our power to implement. We will increase our aptitude to evolve without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. Think cyber-seamless. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to morph vertically. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to generate courageously. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. The convergence factor is cross-platform. We always productize cutting-edge partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to incubate "dynamically"? The TQC supervising factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will upgrade the commonly-used term "24/7/365". Have you ever been pressured to integrate your back-end feature set? Right now? We think we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to unleash extensibly. Without e-businesses, you will lack re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "markets" really mean? We will incubate the term "user-defined, granular". We have proven we know that if you e-enable nano-micro-virally then you may also deploy dynamically. What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-magnetically"? Without well-planned architectures, ultra-macro-Total Quality Control are forced to become value-added. We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without diminishing our power to productize. We invariably enhance turn-key implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our robust feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled innovative, strategic re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, deliverables are forced to become user-centric. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of partnerships. Without real-world e-commerce, you will lack compelling re-purposing. We will regenerate our capability to reinvent without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. We will architect the ability of infrastructures to morph. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most granular portals use far too much XML, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating new partnerships? If you generate intuitively, you may have to mesh vertically. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our synergies but our capability to matrix. What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean?