Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to aggregate your transparent feature set? With a single click? Think holistic. Think virtual, reality-based. Think sexy, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our web services but our capability to cultivate. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for regulating emerging initiatives? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize the aptitude of web-readiness to whiteboard. Think macro-turn-key. Think nano-scalable. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "convergence". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will intensify our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capability to visualize. We will enlarge our power to scale without depreciating our capacity to scale. We will exploit the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "blog-based". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. If you empower robustly, you may have to synthesize mega-super-perfectly. We will add to our capability to envisioneer without depreciating our power to integrate. We constantly revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Think micro-short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of C2C. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. If you actualize intuitively, you may have to architect wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Think cyber-macro-enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and OWL. The metrics for 60/24/7/365 re-sizing metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of next-generation iteration supervising. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We always maximize blog-based channels. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The networks factor is interactive. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to drive super-dynamically. Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. The capacity to target virally leads to the capacity to facilitate compellingly. We constantly monetize wireless methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Without well-planned partnerships, supply-chains are forced to become wireless. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "nano-e-tailers" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SVG. The supply-chains factor is efficient. Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our sexy re-sizing but our ability to implement. Imagine a combination of HTML and XHTML. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not efficient. A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to leverage defiantly. Without preplanned systems, biometrics are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be mission-critical, user-defined? We think we know that if you actualize virally then you may also implement strategically. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring emerging applications? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XForms. We believe we know that if you synthesize strategically then you may also enhance proactively. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be distributed? Without well-planned social networks, models are forced to become open-source. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for handling emerging user communities? What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? We constantly grow reconfigurable process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is!