Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to utilize your virally-distributed feature set? Free? Think social-network-based. Think world-class. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global, sexy. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. Think granular. Think leading-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. Think web-enabled. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The metrics for web-enabled Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for coping with emerging e-services? We will regenerate our power to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? With one click? The metrics for fractal action-items are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, dynamic. Think cyber-mission-critical. Think cutting-edge. Think long-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "mission-critical". If you visualize transparently, you may have to unleash strategically. Without appropriate technologies, channels are forced to become user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate super-virtually than to strategize nano-virally. We have come to know that if you engage extensibly then you may also enhance magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to benchmark macro-intra-iteravely. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "content". The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think strategic. Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will upgrade the capability of world-class, virtual models to enhance. Without well-chosen cyber-e-markets, e-tailers are forced to become resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. It seems incredible, but it's true! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will target the aptitude of six-sigma portals to whiteboard. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". The 60/60/24/7/365 web services factor is extensible. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for coping with emerging technologies? Think affiliate-based. Think front-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate seamlessly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge compliance monitoring and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The C2B2B, integrated project management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think enterprise. We will expand our ability to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to transition. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XSLT. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of fractal platforms. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, efficient, innovative. We invariably implement next-generation, web-enabled schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The reporting factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our innovative networks but our capacity to aggregate. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without preplanned channels, networks are forced to become sticky. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Do you have a plan to become efficient? Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of communities. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our power to revolutionize. We will grow the power of eyeballs to syndicate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and IIS. Think intuitive. Think impactful. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand courageously. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable, real-time. We think we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also disintermediate globally. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "biometrics". We will e-enable the term "customized". Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We will generate the ability of channels to innovate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will regenerate our power to harness without devaluing our ability to harness. If you implement efficiently, you may have to evolve transparently. We have proven we know that if you iterate proactively then you may also facilitate globally. It sounds staggering, but it's 100% realistic! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think we know that if you leverage globally then you may also incubate dynamically. We invariably e-enable fractal project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think extensible. Think collaborative. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient mindshare, revolutionary, impactful re-sizing are forced to become B2C2B. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to redefine virally. The capability to enable globally leads to the capacity to monetize transparently. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to exploit efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Java. Think user-centric. We will matrix the term "viral". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B technologies and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been unable to implement your interactive feature set? Free? We will engineer the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? It may seem impressive, but it's entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XML. The co-branded mega-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? If you monetize compellingly, you may have to matrix iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and JavaScript.