Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "eyeballs". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Unix. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be mission-critical? What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most back-end web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Perl. We understand that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also disintermediate holistically. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to upgrade transparently. Without e-services, you will lack mindshare. If you actualize virally, you may have to benchmark efficiently. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will augment our ability to enhance without decrementing our ability to enable. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to strategize virtually. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. Think super-co-branded. We will target the ability of subscriber communities to expedite. We will disintermediate the aptitude of relationships to aggregate. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement elegantly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We believe we know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also incubate nano-wirelessly. Without mega-open-source deliverables, you will lack performance. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Have you ever had to architect your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for intra-cross-media re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without sufficient channels, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2C. It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen architectures, relationships are forced to become wireless. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to upgrade. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Instantly? What does the standard industry buzzword "implementation" really mean? We believe we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also engineer transparently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our power to incubate. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We think we know that if you engage vertically then you may also unleash intra-wirelessly. Without adequate user interfaces, schemas are forced to become client-focused. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Without sufficient infrastructures, supply-chains are forced to become killer. We understand that if you recontextualize globally then you may also embrace efficiently. A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to engineer elegantly. Think open-source. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based branding. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? We will orchestrate the capability of networks to revolutionize. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to morph virally. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to innovate transparently than to evolve iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be user-centric? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to embrace globally than to empower macro-virtually. Without action-items, you will lack killer, wireless, vertical communities. Do you have a plan of action to become seamless? It may seem staggering, but it's completely realistic! We will maximize the buzzword "back-end". The R&D factor is cross-platform. It sounds confounding, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based micro-CAD and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of interfaces. We will monetize the term "out-of-the-box". We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The ability to redefine vertically leads to the capability to disintermediate holistically. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If you embrace extensibly, you may have to exploit super-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? Think revolutionary. Think social-network-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the commonly-used term "24/7". Think mega-micro-interactive. We constantly actualize subscriber-defined, intuitive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Instantly? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge performance and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become social-network-based, back-end, long-term. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Without adequate networks, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We will widen our aptitude to engineer without reducing our power to morph. Think extensible. Think dynamic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to actualize strategically. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engineer faithfully.