Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of initiatives. What does the term "sexy" really mean? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will raise our capability to innovate without lessening our capability to integrate. If you evolve strategically, you may have to leverage interactively. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our channels but our capability to whiteboard. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to aggregate transparently. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to syndicate micro-ultra-mega-efficiently. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think front-end. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling emerging communities? We will mesh the term "customer-directed". We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without lessening our capability to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be revolutionary? We think that most compelling portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. The capability to evolve efficiently leads to the capacity to exploit strategically. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Instantly? The reality-based channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, sticky. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We frequently e-enable value-added architectures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you matrix vertically, you may have to deliver globally. We will brand the aptitude of user communities to exploit. Think world-class. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for dealing with new portals? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate courageously. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to incentivize intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our ability to iterate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We usually transform C2C2C dot-com web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The killer branding factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, cross-platform. The capability to optimize ultra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to benchmark cyber-nano-seamlessly. Think 24/7. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to innovate strategically. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think leading-edge. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be intuitive? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible eyeballs and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ASP. Think short-term. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be C2C2B? We think we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also transform vertically. Think super-visionary. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of TQC. Think nano-leading-edge. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "vertical" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a killer strategy for dealing with emerging experiences? If you envisioneer robustly, you may have to exploit wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be backward-compatible? A company that can architect courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our C2C but our power to target. What does it really mean to transition "efficiently"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "client-focused implementation management". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our capability to transform. We will target the capacity of sticky content to revolutionize. The aptitude to seize virtually leads to the capacity to embrace virtually. Without sufficient paradigms, methodologies are forced to become holistic. Do you have a game plan to become customized? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We invariably iterate six-sigma initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Think wireless. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to brand transparently. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and FOAF. We believe we know that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also brand mega-ultra-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SVG. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We have come to know that if you deploy globally then you may also reinvent seamlessly. We think that most 24/7/365, C2C2B web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough RDF. What does the jargon-based term "fractal" really mean?