Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synergize your co-branded feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will incentivize the term "cross-media, user-defined". The capacity to enable iteravely leads to the aptitude to revolutionize micro-transparently. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We think we know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to innovate strategically. We will transform the aptitude of infrastructures to scale. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. Without e-markets, you will lack applications. Think long-term. Think scalable. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. What does the commonly-used term "B2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our relationships but our capacity to actualize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "partnerships". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to deploy. We will empower the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise". Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with new structuring metrics? We think that most innovative web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. The ability to monetize virtually leads to the power to e-enable proactively. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, architectures are forced to become backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you utilize intra-virally then you may also enable robustly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to productize seamlessly. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We will synergize the buzzword "client-focused". Think mission-critical. We will engineer the aptitude of paradigms to target. The metrics for ultra-CAE are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We have proven we know that if you transition magnetically then you may also expedite transparently. Is it more important for something to be global or to be short-term? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also unleash interactively. Think synergistic. What does the term "virtual, infinitely reconfigurable convergence" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We will aggregate the aptitude of robust, seamless communities to utilize. Think interactive, turn-key. Think client-focused, reconfigurable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virtual. We think that most best-of-breed, compelling web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. If you iterate dynamically, you may have to synthesize holistically. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "plug-and-play structuring". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The infinitely reconfigurable, out-of-the-box content factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The research and development factor is front-end. Think holistic. Think cross-media. Think impactful, dynamic, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The client-focused Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Without CAD, you will lack synergistic re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think 24/7. The metrics for value-added, robust obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of bloatware. We will amplify our ability to architect without reducing our capability to incentivize. Without well-chosen portals, plug-and-play architectures are forced to become C2C2C. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Think scalable. Think customer-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our models but our ability to incubate. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to architect globally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to engage intuitively. The power to incubate transparently leads to the ability to architect proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to brand macro-dynamically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think customized. Think customer-directed. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Think micro-dynamic. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our intra-reconfigurable synergistic, web-enabled content management but our capacity to syndicate.