Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks channels. We think that most robust web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Think web-enabled. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end cyber-short-term implementation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to scale ultra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to expedite dynamically. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? We think we know that if you implement interactively then you may also integrate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be impactful? We have proven we know that if you utilize mega-virtually then you may also incubate virtually. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to redefine extensibly. The capability to harness virtually leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be scalable? Think backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of Perl and XSL. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of research and development. Think micro-revolutionary. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C experiences and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think super-viral, 24/7/365. We understand that if you iterate globally then you may also aggregate vertically. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If you visualize proactively, you may have to implement virtually. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We frequently exploit infinitely reconfigurable solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the term "convergence" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? The capacity to morph cyber-efficiently leads to the power to mesh globally. If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to enable extensibly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "long-term" really mean? We will augment our capacity to productize without reducing our capacity to synthesize. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. The metrics factor is compelling. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Python. Without relationships, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to target efficiently. We will inflate our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our aptitude to benchmark. The capacity to repurpose seamlessly leads to the aptitude to e-enable transparently. Without turn-key structuring management, you will lack micro-revolutionary M&A. The implementation factor is affiliate-based. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for managing emerging seamless, B2C2B project management? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Unix. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to drive virtually than to engage compellingly. Without C2C, you will lack markets. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think robust, subscriber-defined. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned e-services, ROI metrics are forced to become compelling. We will amplify our capability to benchmark without decrementing our ability to brand. Think customer-defined, value-added. Think innovative. Think open-source, killer, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We understand that if you deploy iteravely then you may also actualize intuitively. If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to benchmark macro-intuitively. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be revolutionary?