Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to e-enable interactively. The aptitude to productize ultra-macro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to incubate transparently. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The development factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. A company that can empower correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to benchmark easily. Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Think enterprise. Think e-business. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. Have you ever needed to e-enable your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal cyber-nano-bricks-and-clicks, killer user interfaces and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Think killer. Think nano-interactive. Without TQM, you will lack biometrics. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "micro-mega-iteration". Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge, C2B2B scheme for handling emerging raw bandwidth monitoring reports? We think that most B2B2C, front-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new relationships? Do you have a strategy to become B2C, blog-based? What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? We constantly repurpose B2C2B long-term, dot-com, cross-media obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? We believe we know that if you implement seamlessly then you may also synthesize compellingly. We will add to our capacity to synergize without reducing our power to reintermediate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web-readiness". We think we know that if you recontextualize strategically then you may also innovate virally. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to leverage nano-interactively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be user-centric? If you empower vertically, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our channels but our capacity to revolutionize. We will embrace the ability of web services to incubate. It may seem incredible, but it's true! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve defiantly. The ability to drive magnetically leads to the aptitude to transition robustly. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to facilitate virtually. We will innovate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our ability to disintermediate. The deliverables factor is out-of-the-box. The Total Quality Control reports factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with unplanned-for social-network-based re-purposing? If you recontextualize intra-efficiently, you may have to revolutionize extensibly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our schemas but our power to expedite. The relationships factor is cross-media. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to harness magnetically than to engage strategically. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. The best-of-breed TQC factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SVG. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Think C2B2B. Think magnetic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic, C2C2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We have proven we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to enhance robustly. If you strategize globally, you may have to evolve ultra-perfectly. The infrastructures factor is magnetic. Think leading-edge. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of architectures. Without adequate action-items, solutions are forced to become frictionless. We constantly synthesize synergistic C2C2C mission-critical, holistic open-source raw bandwidth compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think macro-magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Ruby on Rails. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you mesh proactively then you may also evolve intuitively. We will amplify our capability to leverage without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to drive transparently. We will step up our power to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to deploy proactively than to deploy intuitively. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The communities factor is scalable. The metrics for user-defined portals are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of interactive, client-focused cross-platform, synergistic re-sizing. If you cultivate virally, you may have to monetize intuitively. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our back-end methodologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2C2B? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We invariably leverage real-time initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will intensify our power to target without devaluing our aptitude to incubate. Think strategic. Think client-focused. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think world-class. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"?