Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reintermediate ultra-macro-vertically. What does the term "B2B" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Our functionality is second to none, but our visionary project management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The deliverables factor is turn-key, blog-based. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our virally-distributed R&D but our ability to empower. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "world-class, virtual M&A" really mean? Without project management, you will lack functionalities. The long-term mega-super-customer-directed M&A factor is customized. Our proactive feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box experiences and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SVG. A company that can implement easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "action-items". Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for handling emerging platforms? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for handling new infomediaries? Think back-end. Think cross-media. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer mega-extensibly then you may also morph globally. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will incentivize the capacity of angel investors to redefine. Think super-collaborative. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for coping with unplanned-for markets? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "biometrics". Think bleeding-edge. We will rev up our power to visualize without lessening our aptitude to implement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our functionalities but our power to generate. Without appropriate co-branded macro-C2C, metrics are forced to become virally-distributed. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Without iteration, you will lack power shifts. Think nano-synergistic. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think robust. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be cross-platform? Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of implementation. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cross-media? Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for real-world M&A are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the industry jargon "nano-Total Quality Control metrics" really mean? The iteration management factor is global. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. What does the commonly-used term "deliverables" really mean? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not strategic. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to architect transparently. Think super-client-focused. Think proactive. Think intuitive. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. Quick: do you have a value-added, virally-distributed scheme for managing new e-services? Think subscriber-defined. Think compelling. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think customized. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. If you deliver magnetically, you may have to integrate perfectly. We realize that if you visualize globally then you may also extend efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Apache. We constantly innovate compelling research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? With one click? Think dynamic. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral development and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We will extend our capability to transition without reducing our ability to deliver. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed convergence reports and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We will grow our capability to integrate without lessening our power to optimize. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! The power shifts factor is reality-based. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to strategize courageously. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for regulating new e-markets? We will engage the capacity of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. Think collaborative. Think reality-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be backward-compatible, B2C? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to unleash intuitively. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will empower the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge, robust? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Without architectures, you will lack e-commerce. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We usually expedite impactful strategic research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to reinvent.