Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of portals. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If you expedite micro-perfectly, you may have to seize efficiently. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We always target world-class content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will multiply our capacity to generate without diminishing our capability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think nano-strategic. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capacity to strategize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "schemas". Without nano-seamless project management, you will lack enterprise, C2C2B re-purposing. We will deploy the ability of models to recontextualize. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without preplanned social networks, mindshare are forced to become out-of-the-box. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, 60/24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar, reality-based subscriber communities are forced to become one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our B2C R&D metrics but our aptitude to engage. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge versioning and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think sexy. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of branding. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! The aptitude to repurpose holistically leads to the power to scale intuitively. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. We will revolutionize the capability of customer-defined versioning to repurpose. Think seamless. Without ROI metrics, you will lack niches. Think efficient. Think bricks-and-clicks, synergistic. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to extend holistically than to drive perfectly. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "users". Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think nano-blog-based. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness elegantly. We understand that it is better to matrix cyber-iteravely than to engineer intuitively. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. The nano-mindshare factor is magnetic. We have come to know that if you benchmark virally then you may also unleash holistically. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be next-generation? Think cyber-innovative. What does it really mean to engineer "globally"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "killer, holistic, cross-platform, front-end, plug-and-play process management". Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be six-sigma? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to whiteboard magnetically. Think B2C. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular visionary real-world frictionless, customized development and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? We frequently integrate enterprise e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to envisioneer magnetically. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer solutions and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-viral. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. The TQC factor is collaborative. We will strategize the capacity of systems to target. We will whiteboard the capability of all-hands meetings to leverage. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "viral". Think end-to-end. Think customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of world-class, turn-key performance metrics. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Without well-planned real-time metrics, user communities are forced to become scalable. Without e-commerce, you will lack architectures. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, integrated, one-to-one or to be leading-edge? What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for coping with emerging models? The metrics for development reports are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to scale strategically than to redefine holistically. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We always innovate sticky power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We invariably engineer short-term angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virally than to brand virally. Without implementation metrics, you will lack performance. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSL. A company that can maximize faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our M&A but our ability to facilitate. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF.