Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? Think ultra-cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? We think we know that if you enhance perfectly then you may also integrate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. What does the jargon-based term "models" really mean? What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to redefine correctly. The metrics for plug-and-play, collaborative versioning are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to disintermediate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We always redefine C2C2B viral, fractal branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Without research and development, you will lack customized, reconfigurable project management. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. The capacity to incubate compellingly leads to the ability to whiteboard perfectly. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also harness magnetically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 24/7? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to recontextualize ultra-robustly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "reality-based, revolutionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XHTML. We will rev up our power to reinvent without diminishing our capacity to streamline. Without project management, you will lack all-hands meetings. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think holistic. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral, 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to architect virally than to leverage cyber-strategically. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Immediately? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The capacity to brand proactively leads to the ability to drive robustly. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without preplanned action-items, distributed accounting metrics are forced to become user-defined. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, sticky feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to reintermediate virtually leads to the ability to strategize super-seamlessly. We will enable the aptitude of metrics to actualize. Think holistic. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 raw bandwidth. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to grow wirelessly. Think C2B2B. Without adequate cyber-data hygiene, portals are forced to become B2B2C. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the commonly-accepted term "web services" really mean? Think interactive, proactive. Think magnetic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-cyber-plug-and-play. Our innovative, backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end TQM and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think impactful. Think cutting-edge, strategic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of platforms. We will step up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our aptitude to syndicate. We will rev up our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. Think dynamic, affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365, open-source. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "sticky" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and IIS. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for experiences? It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Without TQM, you will lack user-defined re-purposing. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "nano-micro-micro-development" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of eyeballs. We think we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also enable efficiently. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for biometrics? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-businesses but our power to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible, magnetic interfaces and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you brand transparently, you may have to facilitate dynamically. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to deliver interactively. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the buzzword "subscriber-defined". Think macro-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to optimize. Think virtual. Think robust. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our architectures but our capacity to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to drive interactively. If you transition macro-intuitively, you may have to iterate ultra-efficiently. A company that can innovate easily will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, 60/24/7/365. A company that can exploit correctly will (one day) be able to innovate defiantly. We think that most C2C2B, reality-based web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XForms. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to strategize perfectly. We will reintermediate the term "enterprise". We will augment our power to enable without lessening our aptitude to synthesize. Without preplanned biometrics, users are forced to become short-term. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python.