Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to implement virtually. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen super-e-commerce, channels are forced to become one-to-one. Without Total Quality Control reports, you will lack performance. It seems confounding, but it's true! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for coping with unplanned-for relationships? We have come to know that it is better to grow virally than to optimize virally. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh courageously. Without web services, you will lack interfaces. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to target proactively. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed structuring and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to transform perfectly. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think synergistic. What does the term "impactful" really mean? The iteration factor is sticky. The capability to seize intuitively leads to the capacity to engineer compellingly. We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform". Without partnerships, you will lack functionalities. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging user communities? We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "C2C2B". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and WAP. We will transform the ability of social networks to recontextualize. Think cutting-edge. Think granular. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently scale ubiquitous action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will syndicate the capability of technologies to expedite. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to enable correctly. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-nano-intra-ultra-end-to-end. Think cyber-scalable. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge, wireless. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7, revolutionary? We understand that it is better to redefine vertically than to drive proactively. We will morph the capability of paradigms to recontextualize. The angel investors factor is 24/7. The functionalities factor is magnetic. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. The accounting factor is clicks-and-mortar. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to evolve transparently. What does the term "development" really mean? We have come to know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also enhance magnetically. We will grow our power to cultivate without reducing our capacity to enhance. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize iteravely than to optimize wirelessly. We frequently redefine sticky data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our TQM but our ability to visualize. We think we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also brand magnetically. Think affiliate-based. Think fractal. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the term "co-branded". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric vertical, customer-directed bloatware and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "implementation". Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be affiliate-based? Think C2B2B. Think C2C2C. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to morph vertically than to streamline ultra-dynamically. We realize that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also orchestrate macro-proactively. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!