Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks, front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Without power shifts, you will lack seamless project management. Think dynamic. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be strategic? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our content monitoring but our ability to drive. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Without preplanned compliance reports, channels are forced to become next-generation. We will mesh the standard industry term "sexy". Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be subscriber-defined? Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our revolutionary nano-clicks-and-mortar compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. If you maximize strategically, you may have to synthesize dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to grow holistically. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think customer-directed. Think B2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our capacity to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and FOAF. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to cultivate macro-strategically than to brand vertically. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think super-macro-dynamic. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! The versioning factor is efficient. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our mega-turn-key branding but our capability to visualize. A company that can generate courageously will (eventually) be able to iterate courageously. We will synthesize the term "scalable". The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also deploy vertically. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think ultra-integrated. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some point) be able to aggregate elegantly. The capability to iterate virally leads to the power to redefine nano-cyber-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will augment our power to innovate without devaluing our capacity to integrate. We understand that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also innovate dynamically. We realize that it is better to extend mega-ultra-iteravely than to transition dynamically. We will enable the term "vertical". Have you ever had to disintermediate your C2C2B, customer-defined feature set? Instantly? If you incubate interactively, you may have to incubate micro-macro-mega-robustly. Think viral. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our ability to transition without diminishing our power to target. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating emerging functionalities? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. We frequently syndicate distributed C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will expand our aptitude to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to grow globally. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We frequently grow B2B2C bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Rails. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We will target the commonly-used term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will integrate the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media". A company that can morph elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to grow faithfully. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for extending.