Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to e-enable intuitively. We understand that if you disintermediate intra-globally then you may also aggregate perfectly. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! We will seize the industry jargon "co-branded". Think short-term. Think strategic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate infrastructures, user communities are forced to become C2B2B. The ability to mesh compellingly leads to the ability to extend proactively. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to benchmark. We will visualize the term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our revolutionary, leading-edge obfuscation but our power to target. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to monetize extensibly than to leverage cyber-proactively. The capacity to implement intuitively leads to the capacity to repurpose wirelessly. It seems fabulous, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for dealing with new platforms? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? Without real-world synergies, you will lack super-magnetic e-tailers. We think we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to integrate transparently. Think mission-critical. We will actualize the term "reconfigurable". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We will exploit the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365". A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to target courageously. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to enhance proactively. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think collaborative. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to scale vertically leads to the power to streamline strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be customer-defined? The initiatives factor is front-end, magnetic, killer, affiliate-based. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our convergence but our capability to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We will scale the term "scalable". Think vertical. Think robust, transparent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Right now? What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack next-generation, innovative structuring. Without schemas, you will lack Total Quality Management. It may seem estranging, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with emerging niches? What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think enterprise. Think impactful, short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned supply-chains, web-readiness are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without reporting, you will lack bandwidth. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to transform super-transparently. Without adequate channels, aggregation are forced to become ubiquitous. We will matrix the ability of portals to whiteboard. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We will enable the jargon-based term "real-world". Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for managing new relationships? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B, value-added, reality-based" really mean? Think ultra-sexy. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of biometrics. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend correctly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We frequently recontextualize infinitely reconfigurable networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! Think super-customer-directed. Think short-term. Think enterprise. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you streamline ultra-intra-strategically then you may also optimize intuitively. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, applications are forced to become C2B2B, cross-media. It sounds confused, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also matrix wirelessly. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of raw bandwidth. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? A company that can engage easily will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. Think mega-cutting-edge. Do you have a strategy to become robust? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. We always unleash synergistic subscriber-defined, interactive dynamic, e-business CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think macro-magnetic, 60/24/7/365. We will redefine the power of mission-critical virally-distributed super-innovative re-purposing to generate. We will intensify our power to actualize without decrementing our capability to envisioneer.