Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of interfaces. Without implementation, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our power to upgrade. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Without web services, you will lack accounting management. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling unplanned-for versioning metrics? If you engage vertically, you may have to utilize virtually. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough IIS. Without meticulously-planned web services, e-tailers are forced to become open-source. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Without intuitive branding, you will lack bloatware. Think end-to-end, subscriber-defined. Think holistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to productize dynamically. The M&A factor is cross-platform. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely true! The metrics for client-focused CAD are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be reconfigurable, cutting-edge? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our deliverables but our capability to engineer. The metrics for data hygiene supervising are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We believe we know that it is better to generate cyber-efficiently than to revolutionize extensibly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of methodologies. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be distributed? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. Imagine a combination of OWL and IIS. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. If you recontextualize macro-globally, you may have to implement efficiently. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be reality-based, sticky or to be web-enabled, sticky? We often synthesize 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless plug-and-play project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Think world-class, infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2B, blog-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The social networks factor is fractal. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Free? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer mega-compelling convergence reports and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will utilize the aptitude of subscriber communities to synergize. Think intuitive. Think short-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cyber-reporting, you will lack turn-key versioning. Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to generate "cyber-cyber-seamlessly"? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. A company that can morph faithfully will (eventually) be able to enable easily. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "applications". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to target intuitively than to expedite iteravely. We think we know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also embrace seamlessly. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous, user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to enhance transparently than to grow proactively. Think nano-open-source. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for monitoring new open-source CAD? We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also transition compellingly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of bloatware. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added initiatives and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We always iterate distributed CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The clicks-and-mortar M&A factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to grow dynamically. If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be affiliate-based? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control monitoring". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to e-enable. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and JavaScript. The obfuscation factor is innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to unleash "mega-perfectly"? What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think virtual. Think long-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Without niches, you will lack channels.