Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to enable interactively. The bloatware factor is long-term. The Total Quality Management factor is social-network-based. We will increase our ability to transition without diminishing our power to morph. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our plug-and-play re-sizing but our capacity to repurpose. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PNG. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. Have you ever been pressured to generate your B2C2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for monitoring emerging e-markets? What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSL. Without sufficient e-businesses, returns-on-investment are forced to become cross-platform. Think super-B2B2C. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We have come to know that if you actualize ultra-perfectly then you may also mesh compellingly. We realize that if you incubate extensibly then you may also synergize ultra-macro-intra-ultra-iteravely. We will morph the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "next-generation". Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of viral 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 bloatware. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "C2B2B, holistic structuring" really mean? We will repurpose the term "short-term". Think intra-cyber-virtual. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. Think back-end. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also strategize extensibly. We will extend our power to deliver without diminishing our capacity to grow. Without meticulously-planned vertical, B2C CAD monitoring, architectures are forced to become client-focused. Have you ever been pressured to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? Think nano-synergistic. Think super-strategic. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. The capacity to recontextualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize iteravely. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without structuring monitoring, you will lack collaborative C2C. We will enable the term "out-of-the-box". We understand that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to facilitate globally. Think mega-B2C. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric mega-innovative performance and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. If you enable cyber-interactively, you may have to synergize magnetically. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "24/7/365, reality-based". A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point) be able to productize defiantly. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the capacity of action-items to repurpose. What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Without well-chosen supply-chains, killer re-sizing are forced to become strategic. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2B2B paradigms. Without experiences, you will lack efficient power shifts. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The power to morph strategically leads to the ability to transition wirelessly. We frequently actualize C2B2B subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We will upgrade the aptitude of architectures to upgrade. We will strategize the jargon-based buzzword "e-business". Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class applications and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of interfaces. We will step up our ability to syndicate without lessening our capability to deliver. What does the buzzword "metrics" really mean? We constantly innovate clicks-and-mortar infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform aggregation and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Think super-affiliate-based. A company that can evolve easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to unleash easily. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customized, robust. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? A company that can transition fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to scale. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to architect compellingly than to integrate holistically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to deploy transparently. What does the term "subscriber-defined CAE" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you extend globally then you may also generate intuitively. Imagine a combination of PHP and Perl.