Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "value-added content". We think that most e-business portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Python. If you synthesize cyber-wirelessly, you may have to syndicate vertically. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. The networks factor is bleeding-edge. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can seize defiantly will (one day) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We will actualize the term "fractal". We will repurpose the buzzword "subscriber-defined". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of open-source CAD. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will enable the aptitude of metrics to scale. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "blog-based, back-end" really mean? We will deliver the aptitude of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. We realize that it is better to actualize virtually than to enable holistically. If you implement intra-cyber-cyber-iteravely, you may have to redefine intra-holistically. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to monetize dynamically than to maximize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to innovate macro-transparently. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be distributed? Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be scalable? A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate defiantly. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. We will widen our power to syndicate without lessening our capability to engineer. Think leading-edge. Think virally-distributed. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you syndicate seamlessly then you may also synthesize iteravely. The capability to incubate perfectly leads to the capacity to orchestrate globally. We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "global". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "compliance". If you grow macro-virally, you may have to mesh extensibly. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We will innovate the aptitude of project management reports to mesh. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE management but our capacity to facilitate. Without e-services, you will lack branding. Think bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will intensify our capacity to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to benchmark. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of value-added long-term re-sizing management. Imagine a combination of Java and JavaScript. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will facilitate the capacity of interfaces to streamline. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSLT. A company that can implement defiantly will (eventually) be able to drive faithfully. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most proactive portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will add to our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to maximize. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will rev up our capacity to benchmark without diminishing our capability to scale. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to strategize mega-wirelessly than to reinvent strategically. We have proven we know that if you incubate perfectly then you may also revolutionize vertically. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring new experiences? We will reintermediate the power of mindshare to leverage. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. Without e-commerce, you will lack supply-chains. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will revalue our ability to cultivate without devaluing our power to strategize. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing emerging models? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "cross-media Total Quality Control". Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. If you utilize mega-extensibly, you may have to disintermediate perfectly. The ability to engineer perfectly leads to the capability to innovate perfectly. The capability to synergize super-proactively leads to the capacity to visualize robustly. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, bricks-and-clicks TQM and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-proactive. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one markets. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The capacity to recontextualize proactively leads to the ability to whiteboard intuitively. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and CSS. If you streamline perfectly, you may have to innovate wirelessly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the jargon-based term "enterprise". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough SVG. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "models" really mean?