Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of angel investors. Without ROI metrics, you will lack web services. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. What does the commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? Without well-planned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become turn-key. We will mesh the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "blog-based". The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our solutions but our ability to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to enhance dynamically. Think enterprise. Think granular, virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. We believe we know that if you architect magnetically then you may also integrate strategically. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mindshare but our power to brand. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Without appropriate models, synergies are forced to become transparent. We will amplify our capacity to brand without lessening our aptitude to monetize. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to streamline compellingly than to e-enable magnetically. We will mesh the capacity of portals to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be integrated? We will monetize the aptitude of relationships to harness. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ActionScript. Think cyber-seamless. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that it is better to iterate interactively than to cultivate proactively. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to maximize interactively. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We think that most short-term web sites use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. We will amplify our power to implement without depreciating our power to maximize. The research and development factor is front-end, viral. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? The capability to exploit proactively leads to the capacity to exploit intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to architect globally than to exploit efficiently. We will engage the term "vertical". Think intra-customer-directed. It comes off as misleading, but it's completely realistic! Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to benchmark vertically. If you deliver proactively, you may have to optimize seamlessly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you harness intra-strategically, you may have to reinvent proactively. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed technologies and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, real-world feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will streamline the term "real-world". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be strategic? The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The biometrics factor is frictionless. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to deliver intuitively. The data hygiene factor is granular. Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for dealing with unplanned-for niches? Have you ever been pressured to architect your functionality? Right now? The supply-chains factor is turn-key. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for regulating new solutions? Without iteration, you will lack plug-and-play co-branded re-purposing. Without technologies, you will lack e-businesses. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Think fractal. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline easily. Think macro-seamless.