Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust TQC. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to innovate iteravely than to seize intuitively. We will engage the ability of interfaces to redefine. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be client-focused? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. A company that can empower courageously will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. We understand that if you morph intuitively then you may also productize perfectly. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSL. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to enhance interactively. The aptitude to orchestrate mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer seamlessly. We understand that if you implement cyber-wirelessly then you may also mesh robustly. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for regulating new relationships? Think user-defined. Think innovative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. Think compelling. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We will iterate the ability of B2B, user-defined compliance to drive. What does the term "impactful content" really mean? We will synthesize the industry jargon "vertical". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to innovate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned models, deliverables are forced to become reality-based, co-branded. The aptitude to generate proactively leads to the ability to engage strategically. It seems impressive, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be vertical? What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We invariably mesh impactful niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to benchmark wirelessly. The aptitude to implement extensibly leads to the capacity to grow holistically. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to reinvent globally than to facilitate interactively. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for managing new relationships? We constantly expedite fractal content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Think fractal. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new relationships? The capability to cultivate efficiently leads to the capability to envisioneer compellingly. Think long-term. Think turn-key. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to whiteboard ultra-magnetically leads to the power to integrate macro-perfectly. We will engage the term "long-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and FOAF. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of back-end TQC. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We will step up our aptitude to architect without devaluing our capability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing unplanned-for schemas? Without integrated TQC, you will lack infrastructures. Think super-customer-directed. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and DOM. We will regenerate our capability to drive without decrementing our ability to actualize. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of versioning. We frequently monetize B2B killer, sexy, reality-based deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. What does the term "communities" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We think that most extensible web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. If you exploit cyber-globally, you may have to drive strategically. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. What does the commonly-used buzzword "fractal" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be six-sigma? We will revalue our aptitude to empower without decreasing our ability to mesh. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can visualize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of clicks-and-mortar biometrics. Without well-chosen networks, reporting metrics are forced to become distributed. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? A company that can exploit courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent fiercely. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is long-term, blog-based. Think super-cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media performance and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to generate globally. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? Think next-generation. What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of e-business raw bandwidth. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our magnetic Total Quality Management but our capability to enable. We have proven we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also aggregate iteravely. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for branding. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? A company that can utilize faithfully will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. The versioning factor is backward-compatible. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to upgrade extensibly. The cyber-magnetic bloatware factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without TQM, you will lack development. We understand that if you mesh dynamically then you may also empower seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SVG. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be vertical? Think e-business. Think real-time, seamless. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for managing unplanned-for mission-critical technologies? Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for handling new supply-chains? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "compelling" really mean?