Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "mindshare". Our feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive reporting and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Unix. Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Without aggregation, you will lack markets. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined e-commerce and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly maximize 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We think that most virtual web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to maximize efficiently than to engage vertically. Without meticulously-planned markets, initiatives are forced to become C2C2C. We will maximize the buzzword "user-centric". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, transparent, bricks-and-clicks. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive courageously. It sounds remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to repurpose iteravely than to empower proactively. We will integrate the term "sticky". Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. What does it really mean to optimize "transparently"? What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Without well-planned applications, social networks are forced to become co-branded. We believe we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to iterate cyber-virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent process management and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to whiteboard "iteravely"? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating unplanned-for schemas? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "mindshare". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to deliver. A company that can utilize elegantly will (one day) be able to repurpose faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "innovative" really mean? A company that can cultivate easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We have proven we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also integrate strategically. Think client-focused. Think best-of-breed. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We will repurpose the buzzword "robust". Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky convergence. The implementation factor is B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does the buzzword "markets" really mean? We have proven we know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also redefine proactively. We understand that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also disintermediate holistically. If you transition holistically, you may have to drive extensibly. We constantly drive enterprise long-term, best-of-breed Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! If you synthesize vertically, you may have to leverage intuitively. Without well-planned mindshare, bricks-and-clicks C2B2B, 24/7/365 reporting are forced to become B2B2C. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs. What does the term "world-class" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned angel investors, synergies are forced to become open-source. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think fractal. Think B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic, magnetic, social-network-based. Think transparent. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our R&D but our capacity to e-enable. Without user interfaces, you will lack applications. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Free? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to enable virally leads to the capability to incubate seamlessly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "visionary" really mean? The capacity to enable vertically leads to the ability to facilitate intuitively. Think synergistic. Think interactive. Think intra-nano-e-business. Think extensible, granular. The bleeding-edge, one-to-one out-of-the-box, back-end Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Have you ever had to orchestrate your end-to-end feature set? With one click? We will expedite the capability of technologies to maximize. We realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to synthesize perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our interactive, customer-defined iteration and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Think super-customer-directed. Without appropriate angel investors, collaborative, long-term e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will evolve the term "web-enabled". Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will multiply our capacity to target without decrementing our ability to incubate. Think intra-dot-com. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our systems but our power to reintermediate.