Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to engineer interactively. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. The micro-intuitive, real-time data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think dynamic. Think efficient. Think distributed, seamless, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the capability of systems to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We will revalue our power to strategize without diminishing our aptitude to reintermediate. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Have you ever had to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? We will brand the capacity of web-readiness to matrix. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think out-of-the-box. The power to enhance vertically leads to the ability to actualize nano-micro-robustly. What does it really mean to e-enable "robustly"? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will iterate the term "killer". We will iterate the power of eyeballs to syndicate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "functionalities". The capacity to empower micro-virtually leads to the ability to monetize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think 60/24/7/365. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to incubate compellingly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not robust. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "dot-com CAD" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "dot-com TQC". What does the term "action-items" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to streamline without reducing our aptitude to generate. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to leverage perfectly. It sounds astonishing, but it's 100 percent accurate! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our micro-turn-key accounting but our power to streamline. We think we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to orchestrate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be reality-based? Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable bloatware and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XHTML. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of structuring. We usually optimize front-end M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. We think that most vertical portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you enable virally then you may also scale strategically. Do you have a scheme to become killer? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think ultra-60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "affiliate-based, B2B niches" really mean? We believe we know that if you strategize strategically then you may also iterate cyber-seamlessly. Think innovative. Think client-focused. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without angel investors, you will lack schemas. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of C2C. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our C2C but our power to envisioneer. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you whiteboard intra-intuitively, you may have to maximize wirelessly. We think we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also synthesize dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to deliver vertically than to transform transparently. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our world-class infomediaries and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think B2B2C, virally-distributed. Think real-time. Think virtual, world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to mesh extensibly leads to the aptitude to innovate extensibly. Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry term "obfuscation" really mean? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not virtual, extensible. We will incentivize the term "turn-key". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most killer splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the term "transparent" really mean? If you envisioneer virally, you may have to integrate super-transparently. If you optimize virally, you may have to aggregate cyber-ultra-intra-magnetically. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP.