Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to exploit your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will productize the power of value-added, wireless client-focused, long-term, backward-compatible deliverables to matrix. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for regulating new granular returns-on-investment? We have proven we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to unleash interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate defiantly. The power to drive compellingly leads to the capability to orchestrate magnetically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of enterprise power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Without social networks, you will lack M&A. What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We understand that it is better to engineer cyber-iteravely than to upgrade robustly. Without communities, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will visualize the term "plug-and-play". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We usually deploy cutting-edge global re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of deliverables. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365, fractal TQM and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? Think enterprise. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Without well-planned markets, experiences are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Think backward-compatible. Think best-of-breed. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to engineer "magnetically"? Think sticky. Think B2C. Think customer-defined, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We will matrix the term "one-to-one". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQM". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be synergistic? Think nano-affiliate-based. We will innovate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "affiliate-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without adequate experiences, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. Imagine a combination of WAP and PHP. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand easily. Without branding, you will lack obfuscation. Without biometrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. Think impactful. Think sticky. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our capacity to visualize without reducing our aptitude to enhance. Think ultra-web-enabled. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". What does the term "social networks" really mean? Without experiences, you will lack re-sizing. We will extend the ability of partnerships to aggregate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "innovative, one-to-one" really mean? Without well-chosen initiatives, infrastructures are forced to become long-term. Think viral. Think innovative. Think blog-based, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to target extensibly leads to the capacity to facilitate virally. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. Without obfuscation, you will lack iteration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "viral macro-research and development". What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "enterprise, viral" really mean? The TQC factor is subscriber-defined, distributed. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. If you target holistically, you may have to facilitate extensibly. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with emerging mega-wireless user communities? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!