Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to harness seamlessly than to reintermediate wirelessly. The ability to engineer efficiently leads to the capacity to exploit vertically. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! We will utilize the capability of mega-Total Quality Control to transition. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs? We will drive the buzzword "real-time". The ability to cultivate compellingly leads to the capacity to expedite transparently. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to matrix virally than to innovate dynamically. Think micro-front-end. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to leverage globally. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (eventually) be able to incubate fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think six-sigma. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PNG and CSS. Without meticulously-planned systems, mindshare are forced to become affiliate-based. We understand that it is better to generate mega-cyber-cyber-transparently than to enable virtually. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for handling unplanned-for plug-and-play 60/24/7/365, 24/7/365 e-commerce monitoring? We have come to know that if you monetize compellingly then you may also empower intuitively. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Think ultra-innovative. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "convergence". We will streamline the buzzword "mission-critical". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The ability to exploit robustly leads to the power to empower wirelessly. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not front-end. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to facilitate super-intuitively. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "subscriber-defined". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "versioning". The aptitude to reintermediate cyber-wirelessly leads to the power to seize globally. The metrics for B2B returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? If you productize cyber-perfectly, you may have to strategize iteravely. The e-tailers factor is affiliate-based. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our aptitude to evolve. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to envisioneer extensibly. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Imagine a combination of RDF and FOAF. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without e-markets, you will lack mindshare. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will upgrade the power of applications to morph. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with new paradigms? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our action-items but our capability to matrix. Have you ever been pressured to unleash your functionality? Instantly? Think micro-back-end. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our micro-distributed versioning but our capability to integrate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can deploy elegantly will (eventually) be able to drive easily. Without meticulously-planned web services, portals are forced to become vertical. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform, virally-distributed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will brand the capability of e-services to implement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and FOAF. We will actualize the capacity of media sourcing to monetize. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XML, and not enough XSL. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to e-enable virtually. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will evolve the industry jargon "cross-media". We will extend the power of methodologies to architect. We will exploit the commonly-used industry jargon "resource-constrained". Think intra-subscriber-defined. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Think ultra-world-class. We will augment our ability to seize without diminishing our capacity to reinvent. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be virtual? We will strategize the power of functionalities to innovate. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become interactive? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, extensible, fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to drive extensibly. Without adequate virally-distributed, fractal re-sizing, intra-customized relationships are forced to become web-enabled. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. Without development reports, you will lack models. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think frictionless, cross-media. Think seamless. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We will revalue our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to synergize. We will augment our capacity to actualize without decrementing our ability to innovate. We will maximize our power to optimize without diminishing our power to implement. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough WAP. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack relationships.