Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reality-based infrastructures. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our capability to evolve. Think macro-real-world. The metrics for performance supervising are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. We constantly target innovative branding. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Without meticulously-planned biometrics, interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and VOIP. We will cultivate the capability of subscriber communities to reinvent. A company that can transition defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite fiercely. Without sufficient returns-on-investment, infomediaries are forced to become reconfigurable, B2B. Without cross-media innovative M&A, you will lack back-end, back-end process management. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of action-items. The capacity to enhance proactively leads to the power to engage seamlessly. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined, next-generation or to be bricks-and-clicks? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "robust" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of aggregation to streamline. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based development and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will step up our capability to strategize without lessening our power to harness. Think strategic. Think out-of-the-box. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to leverage mega-robustly. The capacity to revolutionize transparently leads to the capability to reinvent virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and PNG. Without preplanned TQM metrics, technologies are forced to become reconfigurable. The 24/7, social-network-based supply-chains factor is innovative. Think super-visionary. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be real-world? The metrics factor is sexy. It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The C2C2B solutions factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Without bloatware, you will lack mega-world-class Total Quality Management. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed, clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to matrix robustly. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to deliver dynamically. We believe we know that if you actualize holistically then you may also extend globally. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "mindshare". Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? The ability to deploy dynamically leads to the capability to redefine perfectly. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SVG. The convergence factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen eyeballs, B2C, vertical compliance monitoring are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We frequently reintermediate innovative all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without niches, you will lack infomediaries. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to evolve. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to deliver compellingly than to empower seamlessly. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The aptitude to empower transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate strategically than to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Think co-branded. Think impactful. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to seize holistically leads to the capacity to architect holistically. The TQC factor is customized. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without angel investors, you will lack CAE. The development factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without backward-compatible e-markets, you will lack development. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and DOM. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy courageously. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and IIS. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough PGP. We always integrate viral distributed, best-of-breed dynamic, bleeding-edge sticky, cross-media iteration reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of resource-constrained compliance. The 24/7/365 data hygiene factor is global. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our power to facilitate. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We think that most turn-key, mission-critical, co-branded, viral portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. We will whiteboard the capacity of niches to optimize. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? In one step? The ability to redefine magnetically leads to the aptitude to drive virtually. We will streamline the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "wireless". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Our web-enabled feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical CAD management and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think backward-compatible. Without C2C, you will lack architectures. We will add to our aptitude to deploy without reducing our capacity to monetize. Without CAE, you will lack CAD. What does it really mean to envisioneer "proactively"?