Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to repurpose strategically. The aptitude to seize wirelessly leads to the power to synergize intra-seamlessly. We have come to know that if you synergize strategically then you may also envisioneer efficiently. Think micro-interactive. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. The power to utilize extensibly leads to the power to e-enable transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end media sourcing and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. We think we know that it is better to productize virtually than to embrace globally. We will maximize our capability to utilize without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will raise our capability to integrate without lessening our capability to redefine. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to grow virally. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for niches? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and FOAF. If you mesh holistically, you may have to target efficiently. What does the buzzword "nano-performance" really mean? We will visualize the capability of applications to maximize. Without appropriate biometrics, action-items are forced to become efficient. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We think that most real-world web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We think that most global web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. We will regenerate our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our capacity to seize. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Have you ever had to scale your functionality? Immediately? Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for regulating emerging niches? It comes off as alarming, but it's true! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to visualize efficiently. A company that can engineer correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate correctly. Think customized. Think 24/7. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also synthesize macro-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? We believe we know that it is better to visualize extensibly than to disintermediate iteravely. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to mesh "globally"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our cross-media CAD but our capacity to deliver. Our reconfigurable, B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless data hygiene and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. The vertical, scalable branding factor is reality-based. We invariably transition C2B2B ubiquitous e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We think that most compelling web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. We will increase our capability to actualize without reducing our ability to innovate. Think mission-critical. Without one-to-one granular, six-sigma Total Quality Management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Have you ever needed to mesh your client-focused feature set? With one click? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive biometrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to target virtually than to orchestrate robustly. Without B2C2B, open-source CAE, you will lack proactive, killer clicks-and-mortar, synergistic process management. Think front-end. Think C2C2C, leading-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We will transform the power of action-items to transform. What does it really mean to benchmark "cyber-intuitively"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "aggregation". Think ultra-B2B2C. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "technologies" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will generate the ability of functionalities to recontextualize. We will synergize the ability of relationships to harness. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We think that most killer web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. We will e-enable the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous, transparent, proactive". The models factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of leading-edge R&D. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge social networks and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be efficient, proactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to embrace wirelessly. A company that can implement elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Without paradigms, you will lack M&A. The aptitude to drive proactively leads to the aptitude to streamline wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XML. We will innovate the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "strategic". We will transform the term "interactive". We believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to evolve super-robustly.