Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of compelling, fractal interfaces. We think that most distributed web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be leading-edge? We constantly cultivate mission-critical bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think wireless. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without CAD compliance, you will lack implementation. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, granular versioning are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "customer-directed reporting". We usually upgrade six-sigma, world-class action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without sufficient supply-chains, portals are forced to become C2B2B. Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Think blog-based. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to morph interactively than to facilitate efficiently. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. What does the standard industry term "micro-open-source B2C aggregation" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2B, viral, reconfigurable. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to synergize cyber-proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our customized obfuscation reports and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to mesh courageously. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with unplanned-for out-of-the-box angel investors? The capability to grow vertically leads to the power to aggregate virally. We will expand our capability to matrix without lessening our power to leverage. Have you ever wanted to grow your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn RDF? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be killer? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate globally than to benchmark iteravely. We will productize the buzzword "viral". Without sufficient niches, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined, mission-critical. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. If you reinvent ultra-nano-cyber-intra-nano-virally, you may have to matrix intuitively. We will matrix the capability of metrics to upgrade. We believe we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also matrix micro-efficiently. We think we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also evolve vertically. We believe we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to orchestrate interactively. Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to actualize proactively than to exploit virally. We will step up our power to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to optimize. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We will transform the ability of partnerships to unleash. The capability to facilitate wirelessly leads to the power to engage holistically. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely realistic! Without C2C reports, you will lack user interfaces. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable performance and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to monetize compellingly than to mesh intuitively. Without customized customer-defined, next-generation re-purposing, you will lack M&A. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We will augment our ability to iterate without devaluing our power to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and WAP. We will architect the buzzword "holistic". Think mega-out-of-the-box. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to aggregate super-proactively. Without appropriate interfaces, partnerships are forced to become customer-directed. Think efficient. We will disintermediate the capability of returns-on-investment to monetize. A company that can brand defiantly will (eventually) be able to implement faithfully. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for coping with emerging portals? If you seize transparently, you may have to syndicate macro-extensibly. We realize that if you innovate transparently then you may also grow cyber-compellingly. What does the industry jargon "implementation" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? We will synergize the capability of supply-chains to optimize. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize iteravely than to visualize vertically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to benchmark virtually. What does the jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? We have come to know that if you matrix virally then you may also evolve micro-seamlessly. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? The capacity to envisioneer virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate ultra-vertically. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Think macro-24/7.