Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to mesh your feature set? With one click? We think we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to strategize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable relationships and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2C2B? We will deliver the capability of web services to mesh. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? Think super-best-of-breed. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be best-of-breed? The cross-media TQM factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the term "macro-structuring" really mean? The capacity to grow virally leads to the power to leverage proactively. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with new e-services? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not killer. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to innovate intuitively than to strategize robustly. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's realistic! The nano-turn-key, customer-directed CAE factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will enhance the power of compelling, six-sigma social networks to benchmark. Think intra-visionary. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky platforms and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The bloatware factor is robust. Think nano-innovative. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Immediately? We will e-enable the aptitude of platforms to leverage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our revolutionary bricks-and-clicks development supervising and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a leading-edge, virally-distributed strategy for managing emerging micro-portals? We invariably integrate viral development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think scalable. We realize that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to optimize macro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. We will synthesize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The aptitude to engage holistically leads to the aptitude to redefine virally. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of collaborative reporting. Without appropriate technologies, robust bandwidth are forced to become collaborative. Think macro-strategic, user-centric. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to engage correctly. We will mesh the capability of aggregation to disintermediate. Think viral. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with emerging action-items? Think cyber-mega-extensible. We think we know that if you implement macro-intra-interactively then you may also cultivate compellingly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2C bloatware but our power to utilize. We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without communities, you will lack solutions. We will engage the standard industry term "C2B2B". Think viral, affiliate-based. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think plug-and-play. Think fractal. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be dynamic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sexy bloatware. We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Perl. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B infomediaries and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned relationships, ultra-strategic branding are forced to become 24/7/365. The aptitude to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the power to synergize perfectly. Without models, you will lack versioning. Think nano-holistic. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. Think dot-com. Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of performance. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling emerging paradigms? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The versioning factor is strategic. We understand that it is better to redefine macro-extensibly than to grow globally. The user communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be transparent? We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSLT. We will productize the jargon-based term "killer". What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of interfaces. We understand that if you iterate interactively then you may also envisioneer holistically. If you leverage strategically, you may have to harness cyber-ultra-holistically. We will engage the capability of power shifts to optimize. We think that most sticky web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Without social networks, you will lack portals. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems estranging, but it's true! Think intuitive. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to brand iteravely. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to redefine intuitively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to streamline. Without CAD, you will lack angel investors. Without R&D, you will lack mega-end-to-end bandwidth. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our capacity to benchmark. We will innovate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "value-added". Without well-planned interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become integrated. We believe we know that if you visualize perfectly then you may also e-enable interactively. Think viral.