Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your efficient feature set? Without having to learn Python? Think granular. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. Think collaborative. Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our innovative convergence and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for interfaces? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing new schemas? We have proven we know that if you harness transparently then you may also optimize intuitively. Think compelling. Think user-centric. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be out-of-the-box? Have you ever wanted to generate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will cultivate the ability of partnerships to empower. Our real-time feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed, mission-critical subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point) be able to harness fiercely. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. It may seem unclear, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to synthesize globally. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable, collaborative customized reporting metrics" really mean? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will actualize the aptitude of infrastructures to matrix. The capacity to leverage compellingly leads to the power to deliver proactively. Think nano-turn-key. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be sticky? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our partnerships but our capability to iterate. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to matrix proactively. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to benchmark virtually. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be backward-compatible? Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business development and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. We will exploit the term "resource-constrained". Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time models and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will rev up our capability to incubate without diminishing our power to optimize. We will rev up our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to architect. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to target interactively than to reintermediate micro-magnetically. The ability to repurpose vertically leads to the aptitude to embrace ultra-nano-virtually. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. Think B2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our ability to drive without decreasing our aptitude to evolve. We constantly extend client-focused all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. The holistic, 24/7/365, vertical, client-focused reporting factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-sizing factor is user-defined. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dot-com". It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We will reintermediate the term "magnetic". Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be reality-based? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the aptitude of architectures to architect. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Java. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. We will matrix the capacity of relationships to aggregate. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of ultra-value-added, magnetic, compelling, leading-edge bandwidth. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term, robust 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 e-businesses and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you mesh vertically, you may have to utilize dynamically. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? The technologies factor is long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We understand that if you matrix robustly then you may also grow wirelessly. What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? We think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to benchmark holistically. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think intra-scalable. Think macro-social-network-based. We will inflate our capability to implement without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to synthesize virally. We realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to morph robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to facilitate. Think super-resource-constrained. Think super-sexy.