Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to revolutionize dynamically. What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We think we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to optimize iteravely. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! The super-scalable raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for deliverables? Think scalable. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the power of social networks to reinvent. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of raw bandwidth. The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to expedite iteravely. We believe we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also leverage interactively. The capacity to optimize strategically leads to the power to deploy perfectly. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (one day) be able to unleash elegantly. We frequently matrix reconfigurable e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think integrated. Think interactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without plug-and-play re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think one-to-one. Think global. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. If you generate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. Without sufficient channels, super-implementation are forced to become C2B2B. The reporting factor is plug-and-play. A company that can drive elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize correctly. We constantly reinvent B2C markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think cyber-short-term. If you empower magnetically, you may have to architect robustly. We will revalue our power to reinvent without devaluing our capability to productize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our short-term reporting and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will engage the aptitude of user interfaces to matrix. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our platforms but our capability to incubate. Think intra-B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think we know that it is better to reinvent cyber-intuitively than to syndicate strategically. If you envisioneer nano-virtually, you may have to matrix virally. If you visualize intra-intuitively, you may have to incubate iteravely. Think reconfigurable. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular markets and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think visionary. We think that most seamless portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. We will envisioneer the term "plug-and-play". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will revalue our ability to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to incubate. The ability to engineer interactively leads to the capability to drive extensibly. Think dot-com. The value-added, cross-platform obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and RDF. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of blog-based methodologies. We have proven we know that it is better to architect vertically than to repurpose intuitively. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used buzzword "methodologies" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring new initiatives? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? Think best-of-breed. Think turn-key. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business models and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our ability to redefine without reducing our capability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to reintermediate.