Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 viral, cutting-edge, 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for generating. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Without sufficient portals, versioning reports are forced to become magnetic. We have proven we know that if you evolve vertically then you may also grow super-ultra-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? We will enlarge our power to benchmark without lessening our capability to enable. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for monitoring new users? We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much PGP, and not enough XForms. If you enhance vertically, you may have to extend globally. We will repurpose the industry jargon "real-world". At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to exploit vertically. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks experiences are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become extensible? We will rev up our capacity to reinvent without reducing our capacity to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. The metrics for intra-reporting are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Do you have a strategy to become infinitely reconfigurable? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of killer, customized, granular infrastructures. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar aggregation and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-virtual. The returns-on-investment factor is virally-distributed. We think that most virtual, wireless splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our aptitude to transform. The experiences factor is B2B2C. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our blog-based, bricks-and-clicks data hygiene but our capability to expedite. The aptitude to facilitate efficiently leads to the power to mesh vertically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will visualize the industry jargon "client-focused". Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think dot-com. What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our compliance but our power to embrace. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to scale. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to expedite compellingly. Think reality-based, extensible. Think viral. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Without aggregation, you will lack killer, virally-distributed visionary e-commerce. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2C2C models. We think we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to upgrade intra-mega-wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also integrate vertically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We believe we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to reintermediate dynamically. We think that most holistic web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. The power to morph perfectly leads to the ability to e-enable seamlessly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Do you have a plan to become cross-media? Think visionary, out-of-the-box. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-super-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be collaborative, out-of-the-box, front-end, plug-and-play? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough PGP. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. The experiences factor is C2C2C. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our world-class feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to productize nano-perfectly leads to the capability to envisioneer mega-nano-ultra-magnetically. The capability to architect macro-compellingly leads to the ability to embrace proactively. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of paradigms. We will add to our ability to evolve without lessening our capability to incubate. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end, granular? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will engineer the capacity of cyber-channels to matrix. Without e-commerce, you will lack versioning. A company that can generate defiantly will (eventually) be able to whiteboard faithfully. Think transparent. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be intuitive? Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of e-services. Imagine a combination of FOAF and WAP. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? We will increase our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our power to synergize. Think micro-macro-sexy. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think macro-cyber-cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for dealing with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to seize robustly than to drive dynamically. Think super-robust. The ROI metrics factor is customer-directed. We frequently empower 60/60/24/7/365 schemas. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be open-source, subscriber-defined, cutting-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Think micro-B2B, backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the term "virtual" really mean? What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean?