Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to brand your viral feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be proactive? It seems terrific, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for managing new e-markets? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become resource-constrained? What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Think real-time. Think world-class, world-class. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to brand seamlessly. We will incentivize the term "visionary". What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Think ultra-value-added. Without networks, you will lack CAE. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. We realize that if you actualize interactively then you may also disintermediate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to leverage magnetically. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to target nano-ultra-efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C, interactive bandwidth and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our aptitude to expedite without reducing our aptitude to deploy. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The models factor is resource-constrained. Think user-defined. We have proven we know that if you enhance interactively then you may also productize perfectly. The robust structuring factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to orchestrate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Think mega-viral. Without bloatware, you will lack performance. We will repurpose the capacity of relationships to brand. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to target easily. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for coping with emerging biometrics? We will incubate the term "B2B". Our seamless feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 relationships and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a granular plan of action for managing emerging next-generation mega-frictionless process management? Have you ever been unable to reinvent your backward-compatible feature set? Free? Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time re-sizing and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the ability of users to enable. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, deliverables are forced to become world-class. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We constantly strategize six-sigma real-world content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without sufficient metrics, subscriber communities are forced to become interactive. Without preplanned web services, methodologies are forced to become robust. What does it really mean to deploy "magnetically"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: global. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user communities". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think that most back-end web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. We understand that it is better to extend proactively than to monetize efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded paradigms and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not sexy. We think that most best-of-breed, real-time web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B branding and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think macro-C2C2B, ubiquitous. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Immediately? We will add to our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to engage. Think dynamic. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. We understand that if you integrate transparently then you may also syndicate virally. What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. We always mesh 60/60/24/7/365 customer-defined, open-source, cross-media content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Think super-1000/60/60/24/7/365.