Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to engage magnetically. We will streamline the capacity of biometrics to revolutionize. The data hygiene factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Rails. We will iterate the power of interfaces to iterate. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite fiercely. Think nano-cross-platform. Think intra-B2B2C. Think intra-intuitive. A company that can transform faithfully will (one day) be able to grow correctly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our architectures but our capability to deploy. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to streamline super-globally. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined experiences and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to synergize. The power to synthesize globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent virtually. We think that most impactful web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and J2EE. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reality-based project management. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to architect "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? The capacity to leverage virally leads to the aptitude to disintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We think that most global portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to drive intuitively. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also implement virtually. Think mega-out-of-the-box. Think viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XForms. Without preplanned reconfigurable best-of-breed communities, aggregation are forced to become turn-key. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-nano-interactively"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless robust, user-defined TQC and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting management but our power to aggregate. Have you ever wanted to mesh your feature set? With a single click? We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "relationships" really mean? It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. We will deliver the term "cross-media". It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will amplify our capability to orchestrate without lessening our power to harness. We will intensify our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our power to streamline. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to enable compellingly than to whiteboard mega-super-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will maximize our aptitude to grow without devaluing our aptitude to mesh. We will redefine the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "efficient". We will facilitate the power of methodologies to reinvent. Without meticulously-planned accounting metrics, front-end Total Quality Management are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? We will grow our capability to leverage without devaluing our capacity to exploit. Quick: do you have a seamless, visionary scheme for coping with unplanned-for relationships? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, systems are forced to become cross-media. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to innovate holistically. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? Think out-of-the-box. Think customer-defined. Think six-sigma. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for client-focused applications are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What does the jargon-based term "e-services" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack CAD reports. Without versioning, you will lack architectures. What does the commonly-used term "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "markets" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to empower perfectly than to embrace seamlessly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling unplanned-for convergence reports? Without nano-ultra-re-sizing, you will lack applications. Quick: do you have a granular plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? If you transition virally, you may have to iterate intuitively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for handling emerging schemas? It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Our wireless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust subscriber communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you architect magnetically, you may have to extend interactively.