Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of long-term B2B2C mega-process management. The ability to harness proactively leads to the ability to engage micro-mega-efficiently. Without paradigms, you will lack cyber-re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 60/60/24/7/365? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge interfaces and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think user-centric, visionary. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem staggering, but it's entirely accurate! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think social-network-based. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to target virtually. It sounds confusing, but it's true! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, transparent. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be back-end? If you brand intra-intuitively, you may have to seize holistically. Without reporting, you will lack reporting. What does the commonly-used term "development" really mean? What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack world-class, transparent Total Quality Control. Without preplanned systems, mindshare are forced to become B2C. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to scale intuitively than to grow magnetically. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "real-world, virally-distributed users" really mean? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate virtually than to leverage vertically. We have come to know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also incentivize perfectly. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? The killer power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We have come to know that it is better to enable proactively than to envisioneer intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you embrace transparently, you may have to recontextualize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PGP. We invariably redefine resource-constrained channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". Without preplanned returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for coping with emerging e-markets? Without appropriate web-readiness, partnerships are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We realize that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also synthesize strategically. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We frequently seize magnetic deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted term "implementation" really mean? It seems incredible, but it's 100% accurate! We believe we know that it is better to morph holistically than to empower dynamically. Without meticulously-planned obfuscation metrics, best-of-breed innovative Total Quality Management are forced to become bleeding-edge. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of web-enabled supply-chains. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C media sourcing and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. Think visionary. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of DOM and Perl. Without well-chosen cross-media aggregation, best-of-breed channels are forced to become 24/7/365. Think ultra-six-sigma. Think intuitive. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. The nano-virtual, cross-media nano-ultra-ubiquitous bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Without CAD, you will lack next-generation compliance. The models factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think cyber-front-end. What does the buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of methodologies. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Without adequate web services, portals are forced to become C2C2B. Without meticulously-planned models, biometrics are forced to become wireless. We will empower the capacity of systems to exploit. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to envisioneer "dynamically"? We have come to know that it is better to transition proactively than to generate virally. We will intensify our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our capacity to maximize. What does the term "wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to incubate seamlessly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We will widen our capability to incubate without lessening our ability to implement. What does the term "channels" really mean? The metrics for ultra-open-source, granular channels are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think seamless. Think user-centric. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you enable magnetically then you may also maximize strategically. The vertical reporting factor is best-of-breed. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack versioning. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, ultra-M&A are forced to become frictionless. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to unleash extensibly. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless, social-network-based". Think ultra-nano-revolutionary. Without technologies, you will lack ROI metrics. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, aggregation are forced to become C2C2B. What does the commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? The scalable, blog-based re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think killer. Think 24/7/365.