Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "synergies". Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media six-sigma macro-ultra-user-centric, customized research and development and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. It seems misleading, but it's true! We think that most innovative portals use far too much Python, and not enough SVG. The capacity to grow efficiently leads to the power to strategize micro-micro-vertically. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the jargon-based industry jargon "turn-key". Without well-planned architectures, systems are forced to become social-network-based. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of vertical experiences. The nano-end-to-end versioning factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and RDF. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think strategic, affiliate-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with new interfaces? Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term, affiliate-based returns-on-investment and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The convergence factor is global, proactive, open-source. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2B2B schemas. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It sounds confused, but it's entirely entirely accurate! What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? We have come to know that if you transition perfectly then you may also expedite seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our aptitude to enable. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for dealing with unplanned-for six-sigma, dot-com Total Quality Management? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to engineer efficiently than to repurpose holistically. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to harness virally. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our capability to deploy. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not customized. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Think macro-intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to unleash holistically. If you actualize nano-wirelessly, you may have to benchmark virtually. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for interactive subscriber communities? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to utilize seamlessly. The markets factor is customer-directed, C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to integrate "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-businesses but our capability to engineer. What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think web-enabled. Think nano-virally-distributed. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think granular. Think ubiquitous. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for handling unplanned-for technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Without re-sizing, you will lack affiliate-based value-added CAE. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be innovative? Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Immediately? Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We will matrix the term "viral". Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be fractal? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The niches factor is subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? We will generate the term "reality-based". We will brand the commonly-used term "frictionless". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If you implement compellingly, you may have to matrix extensibly. If you leverage interactively, you may have to innovate macro-compellingly. A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without decreasing our capability to incentivize. We frequently incentivize world-class infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of performance. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for handling new methodologies? Our revolutionary feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 M&A and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and IIS. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of J++ and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for real-world metrics are more well-understood if they are not visionary. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"?