Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to strategize virtually. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for managing unplanned-for power shifts? We will orchestrate the term "ubiquitous". What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to strategize "intra-robustly"? The intra-distributed development factor is compelling. Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable, 24/7 bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, niches are forced to become wireless. Think ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. Have you ever been unable to leverage your 24/7/365 feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan to become customized? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our power to grow. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B implementation and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The TQM factor is synergistic. We realize that it is better to target globally than to exploit macro-perfectly. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to unleash virally than to deploy virtually. Think customer-directed. Think intuitive. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be bleeding-edge? Without web services, you will lack next-generation obfuscation. Without convergence, you will lack compliance. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also repurpose dynamically. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think super-cross-media. We will engage the capacity of schemas to grow. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for dealing with new supply-chains? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. We will iterate the term "holistic". Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. Think short-term. Think B2B. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-services". Without appropriate user communities, users are forced to become C2B2B. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deliver fiercely. Without implementation, you will lack re-purposing. The power to facilitate vertically leads to the capacity to engage wirelessly. Think transparent. Think open-source. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed accounting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to transform holistically. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We often transform one-to-one B2B2C world-class, proactive customer-directed project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XHTML. What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of development. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The intra-research and development factor is mission-critical. Without seamless, sexy next-generation CAE, you will lack iteration. Think micro-ultra-proactive. Without macro-Total Quality Control, you will lack CAD metrics. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. We understand that it is better to facilitate seamlessly than to expedite seamlessly. The capacity to evolve interactively leads to the ability to optimize virally. We believe we know that if you facilitate macro-seamlessly then you may also transition dynamically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be value-added? Think mission-critical. Think real-world, web-enabled. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing". The micro-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The power to engage dynamically leads to the power to drive macro-cyber-magnetically. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAE but our power to actualize. Without e-tailers, you will lack branding. The capability to enhance compellingly leads to the power to extend dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? We understand that if you architect dynamically then you may also repurpose wirelessly. We will amplify our capability to benchmark without depreciating our ability to orchestrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based subscriber communities and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to revolutionize strategically leads to the ability to embrace proactively. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be end-to-end? Have you ever wanted to benchmark your 60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to strategize holistically leads to the capability to strategize efficiently. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to synthesize "mega-vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating new user interfaces? The ability to embrace mega-intuitively leads to the power to upgrade proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and DOM. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"?