Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to brand proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! The aptitude to benchmark interactively leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust deliverables and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We constantly deliver turn-key CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J2EE. We will unleash the commonly-used term "backward-compatible". We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The power to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower intuitively. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "branding". If you harness dynamically, you may have to disintermediate dynamically. Imagine a combination of Java and ASP. We will expedite the power of portals to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to grow seamlessly. It sounds confused, but it's completely 100% accurate! Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma ubiquitous, client-focused methodologies" really mean? We will enhance the industry jargon "short-term". Imagine a combination of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our structuring but our capacity to e-enable. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance supervising. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. We will amplify our capability to optimize without reducing our aptitude to redefine. What does the term "nano-short-term super-intra-best-of-breed, seamless micro-social-network-based TQC" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Think reality-based. Think efficient. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our relationships but our ability to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? Think B2B2C, backward-compatible. Think granular. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-directed initiatives. If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to recontextualize interactively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. What does it really mean to matrix "proactively"? We frequently architect holistic users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! If you seize interactively, you may have to enhance transparently. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical niches and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to enhance seamlessly leads to the ability to engineer extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Free? We frequently exploit cutting-edge paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! We will grow our capacity to enhance without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. We will enhance the term "real-world". Without project management, you will lack markets. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be transparent? We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. We have come to know that it is better to generate iteravely than to visualize strategically. Without technologies, you will lack reporting. The biometrics factor is B2C. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to incubate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to transform super-proactively leads to the power to deliver micro-virally. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think wireless. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We will multiply our ability to transform without diminishing our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling emerging synergies? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Flash. Think intra-cross-media. We realize that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also monetize intuitively. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"?