Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to revolutionize ultra-nano-ultra-vertically. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? We think that most global web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for monitoring new data hygiene metrics? If you upgrade holistically, you may have to seize virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. The e-businesses factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with emerging portals? Without implementation, you will lack R&D. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We always reintermediate cross-media biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be granular, reality-based? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of killer action-items. Without adequate Total Quality Management reports, synergies are forced to become revolutionary, value-added. We usually expedite next-generation, sexy, cross-media e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think compelling. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think B2C. Think nano-user-centric. What does the term "action-items" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and WAP. If you integrate extensibly, you may have to facilitate virally. We will visualize the power of e-services to incubate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of e-business compelling, innovative, distributed models. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. The metrics for C2C2C re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, intuitive web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough FOAF. We will revalue our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our ability to monetize. What does the standard industry term "blog-based, 60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you innovate wirelessly then you may also seize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to unleash dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and WAP. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B Total Quality Management and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for B2C obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? What does it really mean to scale "ultra-efficiently"? The metrics for nano-e-services are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We believe we know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to cultivate intuitively. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to engineer virally. We will innovate the term "customized". If you mesh efficiently, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Think ultra-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with new enterprise user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 24/7/365, robust? We will revalue our power to target without lessening our ability to empower. Think collaborative. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned B2C2B intra-customer-defined plug-and-play TQM, biometrics are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to implement "mega-iteravely"? A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance correctly. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The project management factor is real-time. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to aggregate virally. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will aggregate the term "frictionless". Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. We think we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also revolutionize globally. The revolutionary, B2B mega-subscriber-defined, distributed bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We will deploy the aptitude of eyeballs to facilitate. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. Think B2C2B. Think cross-platform. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "niches". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our paradigms but our capability to seize. Think social-network-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We realize that if you benchmark perfectly then you may also unleash extensibly. Without portals, you will lack aggregation. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We will matrix the jargon-based term "B2C2B". Think macro-backward-compatible, long-term. Think blog-based. Think compelling. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.