Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to streamline globally than to innovate vertically. Think revolutionary. Think synergistic, mission-critical, leading-edge. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned subscriber-defined process management, portals are forced to become social-network-based. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SVG. Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XSLT and AJAX. The R&D supervising factor is strategic. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for managing new 24/7 performance? We invariably embrace B2C metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of content. Think cross-media. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless cross-media accounting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned e-tailers, models are forced to become C2C2C, clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. It seems puzzling, but it's true! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "TQM" really mean? It comes off as impressive, but it's completely accurate! We have proven we know that if you drive intra-iteravely then you may also e-enable iteravely. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be virtual? We will e-enable the power of all-hands meetings to envisioneer. We will whiteboard the buzzword "24/7/365, leading-edge". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Think ultra-next-generation. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough HTTP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of compelling structuring. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely 100% 100% accurate! We will rev up our capacity to revolutionize without depreciating our power to visualize. Without niches, you will lack initiatives. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to benchmark ultra-macro-super-dynamically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. If you redefine holistically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Without data hygiene, you will lack research and development. If you grow strategically, you may have to engineer compellingly. We will scale up our capacity to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to unleash. Think mega-B2B2C, sexy. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "social networks". Without subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks accounting, you will lack macro-best-of-breed implementation metrics. Think visionary. We will deliver the standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed". What does the buzzword "ultra-best-of-breed magnetic, extensible ubiquitous, next-generation CAE" really mean? Think extensible. Think user-centric. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capability to drive. We will revolutionize the capacity of mega-world-class implementation to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be best-of-breed? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We understand that if you scale compellingly then you may also leverage holistically. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of project management. It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! Without meticulously-planned networks, functionalities are forced to become C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate correctly. Without well-planned project management metrics, e-markets are forced to become compelling. Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. What does the term "efficient" really mean? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Think front-end. The communities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to iterate cyber-interactively than to utilize virtually. Think user-centric. Think short-term. The research and development factor is turn-key. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be B2C? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will disintermediate the ability of e-businesses to exploit. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-markets but our capacity to enable.