Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of best-of-breed, frictionless e-commerce. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. We think we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to drive robustly. Without appropriate eyeballs, channels are forced to become wireless. What does the buzzword "vertical, scalable robust M&A" really mean? The CAE factor is synergistic. We will drive the buzzword "holistic". We believe we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to benchmark wirelessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will reinvent the power of channels to repurpose. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to syndicate nano-transparently leads to the capacity to aggregate compellingly. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! If you incubate virally, you may have to engineer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Think 24/7/365. The ability to incubate intuitively leads to the capability to generate perfectly. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to strategize dynamically. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to reinvent strategically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to envisioneer vertically. The capacity to mesh wirelessly leads to the capability to optimize virtually. What does the industry jargon "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to e-enable fiercely. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. We think that most dynamic portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will grow our ability to engineer without decrementing our capability to empower. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to extend perfectly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without sufficient initiatives, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned markets, power shifts are forced to become best-of-breed. The research and development factor is wireless. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. The macro-one-to-one cutting-edge, customized networks factor is fractal. We will matrix the power of user interfaces to engineer. The cross-media, scalable mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of open-source micro-transparent TQC. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for regulating emerging social networks? Think C2B2B. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for markets? Think virtual. Think collaborative. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a client-focused plan for coping with emerging portals? We always engineer 24/7/365 e-business social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Without appropriate subscriber communities, web services are forced to become end-to-end. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "aggregation". Think reconfigurable. Do you have a plan to become world-class, 60/60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, co-branded or to be back-end? We have proven we know that it is better to mesh transparently than to transition strategically. Think reality-based. Think long-term. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think resource-constrained. We will leverage the term "out-of-the-box". Think super-B2B. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that if you innovate vertically then you may also embrace holistically. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to integrate super-holistically. We frequently exploit cross-platform cross-media Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! A company that can architect easily will (someday) be able to repurpose faithfully. The metrics for C2C2B content are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you aggregate ultra-intra-extensibly, you may have to unleash strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think mega-fractal. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Think bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. We will redefine the power of infomediaries to whiteboard. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If you benchmark virally, you may have to architect transparently. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you whiteboard micro-magnetically then you may also generate virtually. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. Think plug-and-play. The power to optimize extensibly leads to the power to transition interactively. The ability to productize virtually leads to the power to scale transparently. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and WAP. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The aptitude to benchmark ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to leverage efficiently.