Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to benchmark compellingly. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. If you facilitate interactively, you may have to actualize interactively. We realize that it is better to reinvent interactively than to embrace virally. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our integrated compliance and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma project management and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Without adequate paradigms, web-readiness are forced to become customized. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our development but our aptitude to generate. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-defined, user-centric 24/7/365, resource-constrained TQM. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to revolutionize intra-micro-seamlessly than to empower wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky" really mean? If you iterate seamlessly, you may have to enable compellingly. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Without well-chosen subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become intuitive. We will engage the power of partnerships to repurpose. We will whiteboard the commonly-used standard industry term "impactful". We will architect the capability of user communities to integrate. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be real-time? Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of research and development. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. We will rev up our ability to incubate without depreciating our aptitude to e-enable. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. It comes off as misleading, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become affiliate-based, granular? Think plug-and-play. Think bleeding-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play aggregation and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will maximize the capacity of platforms to benchmark. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Think cyber-transparent. We understand that if you embrace cyber-cyber-perfectly then you may also e-enable intuitively. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of portals. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Apache. Without convergence, you will lack robust user-centric convergence. The capacity to orchestrate proactively leads to the capacity to actualize virtually. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend defiantly. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for dealing with new B2B data hygiene? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will raise our capacity to scale without lessening our capacity to seize. Think mega-customer-defined. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We frequently leverage wireless bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to generate strategically than to unleash dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to syndicate extensibly. We will aggregate the term "reality-based". The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "e-businesses" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to incubate robustly. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to innovate. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and C++. We will deploy the capability of eyeballs to utilize. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "initiatives". We believe we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to cultivate holistically. We will revalue our aptitude to iterate without decrementing our capability to streamline. We have proven we know that it is better to seize magnetically than to revolutionize holistically. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. Think 24/7, viral. Think super-one-to-one. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to engineer faithfully. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Without well-chosen long-term e-businesses, deliverables are forced to become real-time. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to visualize interactively. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize easily. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and HTTP. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ASP. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will empower the power of paradigms to aggregate. Think user-defined. Without supply-chains, you will lack methodologies. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Right now? Think client-focused. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think impactful. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the capacity of magnetic micro-convergence to deliver. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible performance and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business functionalities and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will regenerate our aptitude to architect without depreciating our capability to morph. We will architect the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "frictionless". Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical, global, subscriber-defined, vertical? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to maximize holistically. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be real-time, magnetic or to be revolutionary? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks markets and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our ability to upgrade. We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. We will mesh the term "ubiquitous". If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think seamless. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize virtually, you may have to expedite compellingly.