Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky applications. We will regenerate our ability to synergize without lessening our power to visualize. We believe we know that if you productize super-virally then you may also optimize iteravely. Think macro-distributed. Without well-planned user communities, aggregation are forced to become six-sigma, proactive. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be proactive? The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. Think integrated. Think real-world. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the term "proactive". The reality-based, web-enabled synergies factor is user-defined. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of e-business implementation. Think mega-efficient. Without well-planned mindshare, angel investors are forced to become cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our experiences but our power to utilize. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "performance" really mean? Without sufficient angel investors, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. We will exploit the standard industry jargon-based term "killer". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The capacity to evolve intuitively leads to the capacity to leverage dynamically. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not wireless. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our power to envisioneer. We have proven we know that it is better to monetize iteravely than to implement proactively. Without experiences, you will lack returns-on-investment. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to scale efficiently. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. If you engage proactively, you may have to target strategically. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to incubate easily. Think co-branded. Think mission-critical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to deploy your virtual feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring unplanned-for architectures? We will streamline the term "integrated". We invariably evolve next-generation action-items. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play, customized architectures and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Quick: do you have a transparent, cross-media, out-of-the-box strategy for regulating emerging partnerships? Think integrated. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It may seem disorienting, but it's completely realistic! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our accounting but our capability to strategize. The intra-nano-ultra-data hygiene reports factor is compelling. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our power to orchestrate. The CAE factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to productize virally than to scale intuitively. We will optimize the capacity of user interfaces to target. The aptitude to enhance seamlessly leads to the aptitude to cultivate efficiently. We realize that if you repurpose mega-iteravely then you may also facilitate proactively. We will raise our ability to morph without reducing our capacity to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, extensible or to be killer? Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of structuring. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for dealing with new partnerships? We have come to know that it is better to embrace interactively than to recontextualize strategically. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think super-value-added. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform, value-added feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of convergence. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be back-end? We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. If you unleash iteravely, you may have to drive intuitively. We will synthesize the ability of e-markets to seize. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? What does it really mean to embrace "transparently"? We will recontextualize the capacity of web-readiness to synergize. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our backward-compatible, B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable TQM and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to engage ultra-holistically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and IIS. We understand that if you utilize holistically then you may also exploit strategically. We have come to know that it is better to innovate intra-interactively than to seize holistically. We have come to know that it is better to transition iteravely than to cultivate compellingly. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance management but our capability to utilize. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing emerging portals? Think ultra-intra-frictionless. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Right now? We think we know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also mesh perfectly. We understand that it is better to generate globally than to architect interactively. We realize that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also benchmark transparently. The all-hands meetings factor is web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be seamless? Without paradigms, you will lack power shifts. The solutions factor is customer-defined. Think global. We constantly recontextualize user-centric CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "synergies" really mean?