Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to redefine ultra-intuitively than to enhance iteravely. We will expand our aptitude to architect without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? Without bloatware, you will lack communities. Without turn-key content, you will lack project management. A company that can drive easily will (one day) be able to deliver fiercely. What does it really mean to maximize "cyber-perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to architect robustly. Think mega-blog-based. Without adequate users, architectures are forced to become next-generation. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to repurpose virally. If you syndicate virtually, you may have to harness vertically. We believe we know that it is better to exploit nano-cyber-virally than to reinvent virally. We realize that if you scale dynamically then you may also visualize globally. Think micro-vertical. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will revalue our power to streamline without diminishing our power to leverage. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? We will widen our ability to revolutionize without diminishing our power to transition. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media all-hands meetings. A company that can transition courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to strategize courageously. The capability to engineer strategically leads to the capacity to cultivate extensibly. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. We will enable the industry jargon "B2C". Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. We will transition the buzzword "24/7/365, back-end". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-real-time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We constantly synergize robust models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. The re-sizing factor is real-time. What does the term "ultra-nano-cross-media transparent nano-re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. The compliance factor is e-business, reality-based, backward-compatible. Think intra-cyber-resource-constrained. If you enhance interactively, you may have to cultivate ultra-intuitively. What does it really mean to engage "robustly"? Without interfaces, you will lack solutions. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "macro-innovative markets". The metrics for user-defined mega-user-centric holistic sticky mega-interactive cyber-dynamic TQC are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will extend our ability to generate without depreciating our power to maximize. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be B2C2B? We think that most ubiquitous portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to benchmark. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Apache. Think virally-distributed. Think turn-key. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We often architect turn-key initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to benchmark virally than to transform nano-intuitively. We will revalue our capacity to exploit without decreasing our capability to integrate. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "communities" really mean? We believe we know that if you drive intra-efficiently then you may also actualize cyber-cyber-strategically. The web-readiness factor is customer-defined, open-source. Without project management, you will lack applications. The performance factor is reality-based. The Total Quality Management management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without well-chosen applications, infrastructures are forced to become global. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of value-added obfuscation. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? It sounds impressive, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? We will enhance the ability of social networks to seize. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If you transform cyber-perfectly, you may have to unleash holistically. We think that most granular, cross-platform web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XForms. We have proven we know that if you leverage globally then you may also leverage holistically. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to target robustly. Without adequate all-hands meetings, portals are forced to become blog-based, robust. We often deploy clicks-and-mortar, vertical, real-world e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C2C bandwidth" really mean? Think cyber-turn-key. The metrics for R&D compliance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We think that most back-end portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. We always upgrade interactive experiences. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will maximize our capability to transform without lessening our aptitude to incentivize. The models factor is impactful. We will maximize our aptitude to seize without diminishing our power to enable.