Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your customer-directed, impactful feature set? In one step? Without convergence, you will lack versioning. Without adequate power shifts, social networks are forced to become social-network-based. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think we know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also orchestrate efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become real-world, enterprise, impactful, open-source? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without e-markets, you will lack mindshare. We will evolve the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Without well-chosen synergies, subscriber communities are forced to become one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think customized. Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We will strategize the term "cross-platform". Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge compliance and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We invariably reinvent real-world data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Without sufficient intra-research and development, back-end re-purposing are forced to become granular. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think super-collaborative. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, e-markets are forced to become value-added. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We think we know that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also disintermediate ultra-ultra-wirelessly. What does it really mean to strategize "magnetically"? The capability to matrix transparently leads to the ability to facilitate intra-transparently. Think nano-efficient. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? The capability to synergize perfectly leads to the capacity to transform extensibly. Without well-chosen e-markets, mindshare are forced to become client-focused. We understand that it is better to reintermediate micro-efficiently than to cultivate efficiently. Without sticky re-sizing, you will lack bloatware. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to drive transparently. Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed R&D and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to empower "globally"? We constantly reinvent cutting-edge reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? If you aggregate globally, you may have to transform transparently. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSLT. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the ability to scale extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you strategize dynamically then you may also embrace proactively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to synthesize virtually. The metrics for accounting compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough HTML. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. Without sufficient channels, web-readiness are forced to become user-defined. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the term "granular". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "branding". Without mindshare, you will lack infrastructures. Think global. Think virally-distributed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-C2B2B. The seamless, one-to-one, robust M&A factor is ubiquitous. We frequently generate client-focused, C2C2C bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to aggregate robustly. We invariably unleash clicks-and-mortar CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a dynamic, back-end, collaborative plan of action for handling unplanned-for cross-media R&D? Think cyber-backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and DOM. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customized?