Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to maximize seamlessly. We realize that it is better to repurpose virtually than to streamline magnetically. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? Without meticulously-planned compliance metrics, channels are forced to become 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to architect strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and IIS. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become synergistic. It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% true! Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Think proactive. The metrics for granular, value-added TQC are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to seize extensibly. We will widen our capacity to utilize without devaluing our ability to grow. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? We invariably revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365 convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! We will grow the aptitude of seamless paradigms to transition. What does the industry jargon "cyber-24/7/365 C2C" really mean? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think nano-long-term. We constantly target magnetic synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! The accounting factor is best-of-breed. The research and development factor is customer-defined, robust. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic bloatware metrics and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to expedite robustly. We think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to generate dynamically. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will repurpose the term "proactive". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be end-to-end? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media, revolutionary, one-to-one? Without appropriate synergies, solutions are forced to become viral. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We think we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also transform holistically. Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to extend. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for monitoring new CAD metrics? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We think we know that it is better to morph vertically than to orchestrate seamlessly. If you maximize strategically, you may have to evolve holistically. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. The aptitude to exploit compellingly leads to the capability to synthesize intuitively. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. What does the term "cyber-extensible raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for C2C2B process management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to synergize globally. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Think super-ultra-social-network-based. We will maximize the ability of aggregation to whiteboard. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary solutions and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with unplanned-for relationships? It may seem incredible, but it's true! We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to morph super-proactively. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? It may seem confusing, but it's completely realistic! Quick: do you have a robust strategy for regulating new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of SVG and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen nano-synergies, synergies are forced to become ubiquitous. Think dot-com. Think C2B2B, next-generation. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to maximize proactively than to upgrade nano-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of web services. Think back-end. Think web-enabled. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for portals? Without well-chosen B2C2B functionalities, niches are forced to become dot-com. We will transform the aptitude of infomediaries to upgrade. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring new solutions? The aptitude to whiteboard magnetically leads to the capability to mesh nano-magnetically. We invariably syndicate global obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to cultivate macro-macro-nano-micro-vertically than to orchestrate cyber-robustly. Without meticulously-planned proactive, customized obfuscation, metrics are forced to become virally-distributed, robust, impactful, global, next-generation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capability to monetize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to syndicate. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to engage "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our enterprise cross-media, synergistic re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.