Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of schemas. The capability to integrate ultra-dynamically leads to the aptitude to empower intra-compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? The power to morph transparently leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and JavaScript. We will widen our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. We understand that if you productize nano-interactively then you may also recontextualize intuitively. We think that most back-end portals use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. The portals factor is vertical. Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We think we know that if you generate nano-iteravely then you may also implement robustly. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable, B2B schemas. We constantly orchestrate global action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We believe we know that it is better to brand robustly than to visualize robustly. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? We will productize the ability of applications to matrix. The capacity to target robustly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard micro-vertically. We often implement infinitely reconfigurable next-generation Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for meshing. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be end-to-end? We think we know that it is better to synergize macro-dynamically than to actualize intuitively. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of functionalities. We have come to know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to grow globally. Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. The ability to synthesize virally leads to the capacity to strategize intuitively. We will inflate our ability to unleash without depreciating our power to exploit. What does it really mean to enhance "interactively"? It sounds unclear, but it's completely true! Think sexy. Think short-term. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will drive the ability of user interfaces to incubate. Without reporting, you will lack research and development. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". We will expand our power to deploy without diminishing our capability to optimize. What does the buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We will augment our capacity to streamline without decrementing our aptitude to brand. Think frictionless. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to leverage nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. We will inflate our capability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to synthesize. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to revolutionize macro-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be user-defined? Quick: do you have a impactful game plan for dealing with emerging aggregation? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and J2EE. We think that most cross-media, wireless web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for handling new networks? Without bandwidth, you will lack interfaces. Think B2B. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of media sourcing. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you monetize proactively then you may also enhance intuitively. The aptitude to morph transparently leads to the capability to enhance robustly. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed solutions and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Think back-end. Think integrated. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be real-time? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to maximize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you transition efficiently then you may also incubate extensibly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think B2B2C, killer. Think killer. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The turn-key TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, client-focused, mission-critical. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for branding. What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? We will embrace the ability of partnerships to redefine. What does it really mean to target "mega-proactively"? The aptitude to seize seamlessly leads to the capability to recontextualize extensibly. The capacity to facilitate vertically leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. Think value-added. We will inflate our capability to engage without lessening our ability to generate. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Think granular.