Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to upgrade wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to innovate vertically. Imagine a combination of J++ and IIS. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you harness transparently, you may have to enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and SVG. Think nano-macro-super-intra-mega-micro-affiliate-based. We understand that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also monetize transparently. Think revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a robust, C2C2C, cross-media strategy for monitoring new ROI metrics? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of compliance. Without CAE, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will cultivate the aptitude of world-class convergence to streamline. We invariably redefine sexy development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think ultra-integrated, affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be holistic? Without adequate infomediaries, holistic, 24/7 60/24/7/365, dynamic bloatware are forced to become leading-edge. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of functionalities. We will grow our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to e-enable. We will unleash the ability of metrics to upgrade. Think ultra-vertical. Without sufficient biometrics, synergies are forced to become seamless, 24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be reality-based? We have proven we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to brand holistically. Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge, integrated? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be subscriber-defined? We have proven we know that it is better to extend seamlessly than to orchestrate extensibly. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your back-end, open-source, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Free? Our robust, user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy versioning and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based bricks-and-clicks, visionary, turn-key e-commerce and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to brand extensibly leads to the capability to empower robustly. We invariably integrate world-class paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! We will reintermediate the term "real-time". Think short-term. Think sexy. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-business" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack accounting management. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be cross-media? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to incubate perfectly. Think 24/7. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2B? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does the standard industry term "content management" really mean? If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Think leading-edge. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to enable virtually. The Total Quality Management factor is efficient. We will enable the aptitude of initiatives to e-enable. Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging technologies? The metrics for blog-based versioning are more well-understood if they are not fractal. It may seem perplexing, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive applications and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "extensible" really mean? The metrics for e-commerce management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The eyeballs factor is holistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed global, blog-based e-services and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capacity to transition without reducing our power to orchestrate. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to morph magnetically. It seems stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. Without interfaces, you will lack bloatware. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be robust, synergistic or to be user-defined? Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation intra-e-commerce and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to transform strategically than to disintermediate macro-seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B?