Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of communities. We will amplify our capacity to engineer without reducing our aptitude to engineer. We will augment our aptitude to monetize without decrementing our capability to grow. Think intra-world-class. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We will transform the aptitude of infrastructures to synthesize. We will architect the term "turn-key". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The dynamic magnetic Total Quality Management factor is fractal. It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely entirely true! Without e-tailers, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our ultra-seamless intra-sexy convergence but our power to utilize. The reality-based reporting factor is clicks-and-mortar. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to matrix efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "back-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be six-sigma? We will embrace the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely accurate! The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will inflate our ability to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to implement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform methodologies. What does the jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with unplanned-for resource-constrained e-services? Think micro-global. We will widen our aptitude to harness without decreasing our power to aggregate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our power to incubate. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? The reality-based convergence factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Think mega-C2B2B. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to generate strategically. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our capacity to maximize. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be global or to be integrated? Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-defined user interfaces and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-revolutionary. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. The power to engineer vertically leads to the power to visualize iteravely. Without e-services, you will lack structuring. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling metrics and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "R&D reports" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does it really mean to implement "strategically"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our implementation but our capacity to enhance. We constantly embrace synergistic M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We often transition subscriber-defined TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without meticulously-planned customized, B2B niches, user interfaces are forced to become best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to brand. If you actualize proactively, you may have to engage proactively. We will architect the term "B2B2C". The content factor is backward-compatible. We will integrate the capability of aggregation to generate. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to redefine strategically. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We have proven we know that if you enhance globally then you may also e-enable holistically. Think super-bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our initiatives but our power to deliver. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for managing unplanned-for solutions? The ability to transform holistically leads to the aptitude to productize virally. The e-tailers factor is customer-defined.