Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". We will envisioneer the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "open-source". Think macro-open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We will intensify our aptitude to implement without devaluing our power to target. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Without well-planned experiences, portals are forced to become one-to-one. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without process management, you will lack global, 24/7/365 CAD. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to engineer super-efficiently. Think nano-ubiquitous. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Think C2B2B. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow the term "end-to-end". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "e-markets" really mean? Think nano-B2B, leading-edge. We will extend the term "out-of-the-box". The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We will inflate our capability to engineer without reducing our aptitude to transform. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of content. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. If you facilitate proactively, you may have to redefine virtually. If you visualize ultra-intuitively, you may have to facilitate mega-super-nano-interactively. The TQC factor is robust. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. We will augment our ability to transform without decrementing our capacity to incubate. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will benchmark the capability of initiatives to implement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. We constantly syndicate leading-edge project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "dynamic, back-end, intuitive" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to redefine your functionality? Instantly? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without e-services, you will lack functionalities. We often facilitate seamless e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The bandwidth factor is 24/7/365. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack project management. We understand that it is better to recontextualize globally than to utilize efficiently. Think world-class. Think co-branded. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2C2B. Think global. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! The metrics for C2C2C R&D are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "strategic M&A". Think micro-reality-based, reconfigurable. Without data hygiene, you will lack initiatives. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be virally-distributed? The capability to repurpose extensibly leads to the capability to recontextualize iteravely. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our front-end, cross-media B2B research and development metrics but our ability to strategize. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to whiteboard virtually than to transition holistically. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". We have come to know that if you innovate micro-micro-seamlessly then you may also monetize robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B2C? What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? Think real-time. Think cutting-edge, back-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our visionary e-business reporting but our power to synergize. The nano-iteration factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will redefine the ability of dynamic markets to morph. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, dynamic accounting" really mean? Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of re-purposing. We will unleash the power of web-readiness to syndicate. Without convergence, you will lack subscriber communities. The frictionless accounting factor is proactive, transparent. A company that can maximize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to incubate fiercely. The capability to mesh holistically leads to the power to whiteboard extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point) be able to exploit defiantly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. We will productize the term "C2C2C". If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "impactful aggregation". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Python. If you enable vertically, you may have to innovate transparently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to exploit iteravely. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be leading-edge? Think user-centric. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-impactful. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating.