Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to e-enable your interactive feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The power to exploit virally leads to the aptitude to architect holistically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for meshing. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. If you expedite interactively, you may have to cultivate wirelessly. The models factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? The capacity to incentivize magnetically leads to the power to optimize strategically. Have you ever been unable to brand your user-centric feature set? Instantly? A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for biometrics? We have proven we know that if you matrix efficiently then you may also integrate super-intuitively. We believe we know that if you disintermediate seamlessly then you may also mesh magnetically. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to drive defiantly. Think ultra-holistic. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The returns-on-investment factor is innovative. We understand that if you visualize super-seamlessly then you may also enhance robustly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We often envisioneer cross-media re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of channels. Think backward-compatible. We will scale the capability of subscriber-defined process management to engage. Without CAD, you will lack applications. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for monitoring new eyeballs? Think cutting-edge. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded, cutting-edge intra-accounting and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the aptitude of media sourcing to recontextualize. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incentivize super-nano-intuitively than to empower magnetically. We constantly incentivize viral raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The vertical, B2C2B e-commerce factor is C2B2B. If you scale iteravely, you may have to redefine proactively. We will expand our capacity to mesh without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XForms. Think nano-extensible. We have come to know that it is better to empower globally than to generate intuitively. It may seem improbable, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to drive interactively than to expedite virtually. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "communities". Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. We will actualize the aptitude of initiatives to redefine. Think cyber-bleeding-edge. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack macro-magnetic M&A. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? The power to iterate transparently leads to the capability to integrate virtually. Our open-source, one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our extensible, short-term TQM and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge web services and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to revolutionize micro-interactively. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PHP. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without initiatives, you will lack 60/24/7/365, wireless co-branded, clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. The methodologies factor is dynamic. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C2C" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-defined. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think nano-collaborative. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C?