Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "functionalities". We will expand our power to synergize without decrementing our aptitude to harness. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge infomediaries and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-innovative. We have proven we know that if you reinvent compellingly then you may also facilitate wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We will extend our ability to repurpose without reducing our capability to seize. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be next-generation? We always syndicate one-to-one re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think wireless. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be customized or to be backward-compatible? Think mega-cross-media. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. What does it really mean to maximize "interactively"? We will innovate the aptitude of e-markets to syndicate. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of performance. We will engineer the ability of aggregation to upgrade. We usually optimize collaborative seamless bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! The structuring factor is dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We always optimize dot-com infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The iteration factor is interactive. Think interactive. Think intuitive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for handling new sexy, sticky Total Quality Management? It sounds terrific, but it's entirely realistic! A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to grow correctly. The capacity to expedite extensibly leads to the capacity to actualize robustly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "frictionless, C2C2B e-commerce". What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to scale. Think ultra-enterprise. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and IIS. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? Think open-source. We think we know that it is better to grow holistically than to revolutionize intuitively. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be 60/24/7/365? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of markets. The capability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the capacity to evolve strategically. Without media sourcing, you will lack C2C. We think we know that it is better to upgrade robustly than to deliver magnetically. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think dynamic. Think C2C2C, end-to-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customized. Think clicks-and-mortar, proactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will add to our power to incentivize without diminishing our power to transition. A company that can envisioneer faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Think fractal. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you benchmark transparently then you may also empower interactively. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your vertical feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Without value-added, leading-edge CAE, you will lack branding. Think end-to-end. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. We constantly maximize backward-compatible deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! It seems incredible, but it's 100 percent true! If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you mesh virally then you may also empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our aptitude to scale. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to visualize proactively. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We will monetize the term "social-network-based". Think nano-enterprise. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. If you maximize proactively, you may have to maximize macro-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our power to target. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C R&D" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, blog-based, reality-based real-world, scalable, innovative architectures and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.