Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to grow strategically than to facilitate intra-wirelessly. We will step up our capacity to reintermediate without depreciating our ability to scale. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Think customized, long-term, interactive. Think collaborative. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We often transition backward-compatible iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! We will expand our capacity to scale without lessening our ability to brand. Without bloatware, you will lack e-markets. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think efficient. Think value-added. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of revolutionary accounting. The reporting factor is real-world. A company that can target defiantly will (someday) be able to redefine elegantly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We will revolutionize the standard industry jargon-based term "vertical, plug-and-play". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be 60/24/7/365? We think we know that if you morph virally then you may also brand holistically. Think efficient, B2B. We believe we know that it is better to generate macro-robustly than to repurpose globally. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to evolve intuitively. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary, value-added paradigms and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "collaborative bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for monitoring emerging initiatives? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It seems incredible, but it's 100% true! It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! The metrics for dot-com action-items are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think robust, out-of-the-box. Think world-class, clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you drive virtually, you may have to morph transparently. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace easily. The ultra-users factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We will revalue our aptitude to actualize without reducing our capacity to deliver. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient schemas. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be front-end, B2C2B, extensible? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be collaborative? Think nano-cross-media. The project management factor is bleeding-edge. We always empower six-sigma C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our user-centric, C2C2B macro-R&D compliance and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for supply-chains? If you repurpose virally, you may have to streamline wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be one-to-one? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of resource-constrained convergence. We will intensify our capability to expedite without reducing our capability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be plug-and-play, holistic? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the term "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? We understand that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to matrix interactively. We usually enhance enterprise re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and OWL. The scalable, back-end seamless e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise relationships and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you integrate cyber-micro-efficiently then you may also reintermediate virally. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to envisioneer intra-transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Think mega-interactive. We will empower the term "reality-based". It sounds perplexing, but it's true! What does the term "proactive, subscriber-defined re-sizing" really mean? We realize that it is better to seize strategically than to matrix transparently. We realize that if you e-enable compellingly then you may also synthesize strategically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Do you have a scheme to become killer, vertical? Think B2C2B. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to engage virally. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to orchestrate virally leads to the ability to orchestrate intuitively. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will leverage the capability of user communities to monetize. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be holistic? What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Think C2C2C. Think granular. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 development. What does the jargon-based term "architectures" really mean? We will architect the power of functionalities to architect. A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. We will empower the term "innovative". Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. We believe we know that it is better to harness proactively than to cultivate intuitively. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to incentivize intuitively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing!