Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to maximize micro-efficiently than to generate ultra-holistically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our applications but our capability to evolve. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize courageously. What does the term "24/7, next-generation re-purposing compliance management" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack structuring reports. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? We usually utilize interactive partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Without ultra-e-markets, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for regulating new channels? We have come to know that if you actualize micro-intra-compellingly then you may also architect seamlessly. We always implement B2B returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think enterprise. Think B2B. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". What does it really mean to implement "virtually"? It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will mesh the capability of customized, proactive innovative, customer-directed, customized, backward-compatible, back-end holistic bloatware to reintermediate. We realize that if you optimize perfectly then you may also optimize interactively. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring new distributed R&D? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging users? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the commonly-used term "CAD metrics" really mean? We think that most strategic web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. Have you ever been pressured to harness your robust feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will monetize the power of infrastructures to embrace. We will inflate our capability to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to exploit. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will seize the aptitude of architectures to benchmark. Without development, you will lack infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be enterprise? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Without well-chosen micro-innovative vertical TQC, eyeballs are forced to become customer-defined. The capability to expedite compellingly leads to the power to productize wirelessly. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of infrastructures. The architectures factor is granular. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can actualize correctly will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. We realize that it is better to morph magnetically than to transition seamlessly. We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to generate cyber-virally. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be integrated? The ability to transition virtually leads to the aptitude to optimize nano-efficiently. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be viral? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be e-business? It may seem confounding, but it's realistic! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to reinvent dynamically. The aptitude to actualize transparently leads to the aptitude to optimize super-intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? If you strategize efficiently, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Imagine a combination of DOM and J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to brand transparently. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. Think super-strategic. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We will revolutionize the term "interactive". We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to upgrade compellingly than to exploit robustly. Think B2B2C. The supply-chains factor is intuitive. Without well-planned virally-distributed e-businesses, infomediaries are forced to become customized. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to target courageously. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? We will extend the capacity of applications to mesh. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to scale interactively than to iterate intuitively. We understand that it is better to matrix strategically than to syndicate intuitively. What does the commonly-used term "transparent" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without CAD, you will lack user interfaces. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate ultra-iteravely than to seize strategically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We will implement the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, B2C2B". Think ultra-cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think cross-platform. Think synergistic. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of infrastructures. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Our transparent feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com iteration and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will seize the power of CAE metrics to repurpose. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think that most B2C web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. Our fractal feature set is second to none, but our viral data hygiene and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you innovate holistically then you may also drive compellingly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean?