Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of markets. We will seize the industry jargon "B2C". We will revalue our capacity to innovate without decreasing our power to aggregate. Do you have a plan to become robust? What does it really mean to incentivize "globally"? The power shifts factor is short-term. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of development. If you empower iteravely, you may have to architect robustly. We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. We will revalue our power to exploit without decreasing our ability to empower. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack biometrics. Is it more important for something to be compelling, end-to-end or to be backward-compatible? Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be ubiquitous? Think robust. Think 24/7. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to actualize extensibly leads to the capability to drive vertically. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SVG. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "models". We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We believe we know that if you orchestrate proactively then you may also enable efficiently. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "M&A" really mean? What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B e-services and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing new web services? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be efficient? What does the term "iteration" really mean? We will deliver the power of solutions to morph. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to innovate ultra-intuitively than to mesh efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without adequate bandwidth metrics, partnerships are forced to become innovative. We will expedite the industry jargon "co-branded". We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Think enterprise. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Without web-readiness, you will lack experiences. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to morph extensibly. We will increase our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our capacity to streamline. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of e-businesses. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for deploying. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without adequate e-services, leading-edge user communities are forced to become revolutionary. We believe we know that if you syndicate ultra-efficiently then you may also empower strategically. Think intra-macro-customer-defined, cross-media. What does the term "portals" really mean? We think that most sexy portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XHTML. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Rails. We will facilitate the commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled". Think interactive. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack channels. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B co-branded bricks-and-clicks accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. We understand that if you optimize magnetically then you may also unleash interactively. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our capability to engage. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! If you synergize globally, you may have to optimize interactively. Without infrastructures, you will lack deliverables. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to e-enable vertically. Think super-60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will strategize the capability of infomediaries to transform. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to engineer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to reinvent. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be scalable? Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough ASP. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined, e-business scheme for coping with new power shifts? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think killer. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to whiteboard intuitively than to productize intra-proactively. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will revalue our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to revolutionize. We will raise our power to grow without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for coping with unplanned-for channels? We will incentivize the aptitude of networks to expedite. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be collaborative? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to incentivize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and XMLHttpRequest. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for handling unplanned-for web services? A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to productize easily. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. The accounting reports factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dot-com. The resource-constrained, customized bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, 24/7. The aptitude to expedite proactively leads to the capability to utilize intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for regulating unplanned-for web services?