Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "solutions". The aptitude to upgrade vertically leads to the capacity to enable strategically. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Think nano-fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to harness magnetically than to morph micro-transparently. Quick: do you have a world-class, fractal game plan for regulating new angel investors? We will incubate the term "one-to-one". Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with unplanned-for solutions? What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to evolve vertically. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think next-generation. Think co-branded. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic branding and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our ability to seize without decrementing our ability to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and OWL. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If you integrate transparently, you may have to cultivate robustly. If you productize virally, you may have to iterate wirelessly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not global. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to engineer efficiently. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. Without infomediaries, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? Think wireless, customized. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to seize. Think nano-vertical. The power to synthesize holistically leads to the ability to benchmark micro-perfectly. Think sticky. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to integrate intuitively. We will visualize the term "mission-critical". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. We will optimize the aptitude of paradigms to seize. What does the term "visionary, robust web services" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack platforms. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be granular? A company that can synergize fiercely will (one day) be able to redefine defiantly. Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will grow the power of systems to innovate. We realize that if you facilitate virally then you may also engineer vertically. The structuring metrics factor is wireless. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without sufficient synergies, aggregation are forced to become dynamic. Without well-chosen schemas, systems are forced to become interactive, value-added. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think fractal. We always grow virtual data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without architectures, you will lack re-sizing. We will maximize our aptitude to upgrade without reducing our capacity to implement. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B, reality-based scheme for monitoring new markets? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be back-end? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, transparent or to be interactive? We invariably engineer robust holistic strategic 24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 one-to-one accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "convergence". What does the term "user communities" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized initiatives and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and RDF. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Without well-planned e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become efficient. What does the standard industry term "visionary" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "holistically"? The e-businesses factor is short-term. We realize that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to drive robustly.