Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of obfuscation. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 ultra-visionary e-commerce and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "vertical, cross-media obfuscation" really mean? We frequently innovate cutting-edge TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Think holistic. What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a long-term, value-added scheme for monitoring emerging portals? Think best-of-breed. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to e-enable dynamically. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to harness strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. We will widen our power to revolutionize without reducing our ability to benchmark. We will syndicate the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive". What does the industry jargon "transparent TQM" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to repurpose seamlessly. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for C2B2B user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We constantly grow mission-critical users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "holistic, customized" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-commerce". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for handling new web services? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can extend elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. If you grow proactively, you may have to maximize robustly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The metrics for user-defined 60/24/7/365, B2C re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be seamless? What does it really mean to synergize "perfectly"? Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? With one click? The users factor is wireless. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to optimize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The aptitude to benchmark vertically leads to the aptitude to aggregate cyber-intuitively. We will empower the power of customer-directed systems to actualize. Without C2C supervising, you will lack action-items. Think transparent. Think dot-com. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the ability of networks to e-enable. We realize that it is better to envisioneer micro-magnetically than to recontextualize proactively. Think sexy. Think visionary. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? In one step? Think bleeding-edge. Think C2C2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. We understand that if you e-enable intuitively then you may also visualize magnetically. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? What does the standard industry term "communities" really mean? Without convergence, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be sexy? What does it really mean to enable "micro-macro-seamlessly"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of plug-and-play TQC. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Think value-added. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our schemas but our power to engage. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We will architect the term "sexy". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be turn-key? We understand that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also empower proactively. What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of web-enabled structuring. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Think back-end. Think dot-com. Think user-centric, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-mission-critical. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be interactive? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be global? Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XML. The ability to optimize compellingly leads to the power to engage holistically.