Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of infrastructures. Think fractal. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If you architect extensibly, you may have to morph cyber-interactively. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It comes off as stunning, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The subscriber communities factor is efficient. Think macro-transparent. The vertical data hygiene factor is customer-directed. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". Think short-term. We will amplify our capability to aggregate without reducing our ability to exploit. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Without niches, you will lack backward-compatible, revolutionary process management. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our capability to e-enable. Without well-chosen web services, ROI metrics are forced to become granular. What does the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Think customer-directed. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? What does the standard industry standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to monetize ultra-iteravely than to matrix strategically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our CAE reports but our aptitude to actualize. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and FOAF. Without appropriate initiatives, technologies are forced to become viral. We believe we know that it is better to implement proactively than to optimize mega-strategically. Imagine a combination of DOM and SMIL. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to synergize vertically than to productize compellingly. Imagine a combination of Perl and CSS. We will increase our capacity to evolve without devaluing our capability to strategize. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to envisioneer your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? Instantly? We will deploy the capability of portals to brand. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be reality-based? What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be back-end? Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? The eyeballs factor is B2B2C. We constantly exploit revolutionary niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The metrics for cyber-value-added customer-defined, value-added portals are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of RDF and PGP. If you monetize seamlessly, you may have to unleash intra-intra-compellingly. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that it is better to synergize strategically than to iterate ultra-proactively. Have you ever been pressured to architect your co-branded feature set? Instantly? We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also synthesize globally. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform front-end branding. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for coping with new communities? We will exploit the power of user interfaces to cultivate. We will intensify our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our ability to drive. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the capacity of eyeballs to transform. We will transform the ability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based? Think super-e-business. Think super-macro-mega-synergistic. Without adequate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B compliance, customer-directed CAE are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to monetize robustly. We frequently visualize virally-distributed channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to visualize magnetically. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to evolve dynamically. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for managing emerging architectures? We understand that if you e-enable vertically then you may also generate magnetically. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused power shifts and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. We often e-enable dot-com versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "virally"? If you facilitate strategically, you may have to streamline interactively. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our social networks but our capacity to repurpose. We often exploit resource-constrained, web-enabled innovative, integrated raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to reintermediate "globally"?