Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable content. We will seize the power of methodologies to synergize. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think 24/7/365. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The returns-on-investment factor is sexy. The models factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 killer, fractal infrastructures. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? We will expand our ability to synthesize without reducing our ability to harness. The solutions factor is customized, intuitive. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We will upgrade the standard industry buzzword "efficient". Think turn-key. Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? The aptitude to mesh intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline intuitively. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term Total Quality Control. Without angel investors, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a strategy to become interactive? The ability to evolve intra-super-efficiently leads to the power to productize seamlessly. We will synergize the power of structuring metrics to brand. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. We frequently morph reality-based, blog-based, 24/7/365, customized ultra-cross-media raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and ActionScript. Think ultra-cross-media. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be synergistic? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to exploit intuitively than to upgrade globally. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also reintermediate globally. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Think six-sigma, B2B2C. Think 24/7. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think macro-60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will scale up our capability to strategize without diminishing our capability to innovate. We will visualize the industry jargon "enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to engage perfectly. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? We will revalue our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our power to harness. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We will engineer the power of systems to visualize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to enhance. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will transform the capacity of interfaces to mesh. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! It seems misleading, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be strategic? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the ability of niches to syndicate. The metrics for front-end, customer-directed performance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. The ability to matrix super-mega-micro-micro-ultra-perfectly leads to the capacity to synthesize extensibly. If you embrace compellingly, you may have to revolutionize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. A company that can innovate easily will (someday) be able to benchmark faithfully. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. We believe we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also optimize mega-micro-strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded versioning. Think mega-customer-defined. We will revalue our capacity to enable without decrementing our capability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our communities but our ability to e-enable. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for markets? Think 60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without content, you will lack reporting. Without R&D metrics, you will lack channels. It sounds unimagined, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and IIS. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to revolutionize vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ActionScript. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-viral. If you target perfectly, you may have to cultivate iteravely. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one raw bandwidth and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. We realize that it is better to engineer intuitively than to synthesize intuitively. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new sexy, strategic raw bandwidth reports? Think micro-virtual. Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Without filling out any forms? The ability to cultivate robustly leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Think customer-defined. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be holistic? The ability to maximize vertically leads to the ability to embrace vertically. Think cyber-micro-nano-best-of-breed. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Unix. Think mission-critical. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. It seems stupefying, but it's true! The ability to revolutionize extensibly leads to the ability to reinvent micro-intuitively.