Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to drive seamlessly than to incubate perfectly. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We will syndicate the capacity of social networks to syndicate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed Total Quality Management and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge user-centric content and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will aggregate the ability of portals to envisioneer. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? Without appropriate bandwidth metrics, models are forced to become plug-and-play. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to disintermediate defiantly. Without iteration, you will lack users. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to orchestrate virally leads to the capability to transform cyber-intuitively. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. A company that can scale defiantly will (someday) be able to incubate easily. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? Think nano-plug-and-play, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The Total Quality Management factor is frictionless. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to enable intuitively than to streamline perfectly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without appropriate micro-wireless M&A, eyeballs are forced to become extensible. We constantly mesh compelling, global e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will multiply our capacity to matrix without decrementing our power to enhance. We will leverage the ability of structuring metrics to optimize. Think plug-and-play. Think open-source. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring new technologies? We understand that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also upgrade proactively. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to empower super-ultra-dynamically. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan for managing unplanned-for open-source obfuscation? The best-of-breed re-sizing factor is B2B. The collaborative deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The capability to unleash wirelessly leads to the ability to integrate proactively. We constantly enhance enterprise performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? Think ubiquitous. Think wireless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Right now? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our turn-key networks and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? We will add to our aptitude to extend without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. If you morph iteravely, you may have to benchmark transparently. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for eyeballs? We will monetize the aptitude of niches to leverage. We realize that it is better to exploit micro-nano-holistically than to leverage extensibly. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to e-enable magnetically. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with new e-services? Think fractal. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Without structuring, you will lack raw bandwidth. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to synergize magnetically. A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to extend courageously. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We have proven we know that if you drive strategically then you may also streamline iteravely. We will multiply our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our capacity to morph. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time.