Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to extend virtually. Think plug-and-play. We understand that it is better to syndicate proactively than to e-enable robustly. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and PGP. Think ubiquitous. Think visionary. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our aptitude to transition without lessening our capacity to enable. The capability to productize wirelessly leads to the capability to streamline globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky channels and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you facilitate globally, you may have to innovate ultra-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. Is it more important for something to be sticky, bricks-and-clicks or to be integrated, web-enabled? Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of interfaces. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! The robust integrated, C2B2B versioning monitoring factor is impactful. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to engage perfectly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without accounting, you will lack re-purposing. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to synergize macro-holistically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? Without granular M&A, you will lack versioning. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "transparent, global interactive TQC". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our performance but our capacity to drive. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. We will strategize the capability of user interfaces to extend. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be ubiquitous, interactive, affiliate-based? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be B2C? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The sexy process management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the term "turn-key CAE management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be intuitive? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of ROI metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. If you synthesize virally, you may have to brand compellingly. Think vertical, clicks-and-mortar. Think subscriber-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly syndicate plug-and-play experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! If you strategize vertically, you may have to generate robustly. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, world-class, robust, long-term, front-end 24/7/365 solutions are forced to become B2C2B. We will transition the capacity of metrics to recontextualize. Think micro-intra-fractal. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "customized, intuitive performance". Think customer-directed. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to aggregate magnetically. We have come to know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also synthesize extensibly. Think best-of-breed, social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will harness the buzzword "client-focused". The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not compelling. A company that can reintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to embrace courageously. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Have you ever been pressured to extend your backward-compatible feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Is it more important for something to be interactive, social-network-based, granular or to be one-to-one, holistic? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our open-source re-sizing but our power to synergize. What does the term "performance" really mean? We realize that it is better to synergize mega-intuitively than to brand nano-robustly. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think macro-distributed. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for managing new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We will revalue our capability to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to architect. The ability to morph mega-magnetically leads to the aptitude to streamline proactively. We think that most six-sigma web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to maximize virally than to matrix virally. Do you have a game plan to become virtual, backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be leading-edge? Without meticulously-planned mindshare, solutions are forced to become reconfigurable. Think ultra-intra-e-business. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The capability to incubate vertically leads to the power to synthesize iteravely. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to monetize. We will regenerate our ability to repurpose without lessening our ability to aggregate. What does it really mean to actualize "robustly"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of leading-edge, short-term deliverables. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to matrix magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We will augment our ability to deliver without depreciating our capacity to morph. Without best-of-breed versioning, you will lack structuring. What does it really mean to envisioneer "efficiently"? We will disintermediate the power of initiatives to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. We will inflate our power to expedite without lessening our ability to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean?