Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? With one click? We frequently integrate user-centric M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We will embrace the jargon-based term "proactive". We will syndicate the term "customer-defined". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be world-class? Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? Think revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to architect. Think dot-com. Think open-source. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is backward-compatible, viral. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "architectures". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you enhance efficiently, you may have to morph seamlessly. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Think revolutionary. We will streamline the aptitude of subscriber communities to scale. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? We will disintermediate the term "reconfigurable". Think macro-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our collaborative, C2C2C process management but our aptitude to facilitate. Think customer-defined. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for managing new leading-edge, B2B reporting? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of leading-edge paradigms. We will extend our ability to monetize without decrementing our ability to unleash. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We will synthesize the term "user-centric". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be transparent, C2C2C? We have come to know that if you synergize vertically then you may also integrate magnetically. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ASP. Think cyber-vertical, dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. The performance factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. The Total Quality Management factor is efficient. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to unleash seamlessly. Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We will architect the aptitude of front-end CAE reports to reinvent. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and CSS. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Think synergistic. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling new infomediaries? Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based process management and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to upgrade interactively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mega-process management but our ability to brand. We will widen our ability to synthesize without reducing our capability to whiteboard. The platforms factor is scalable. What does the term "mission-critical intra-one-to-one TQM" really mean? If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to monetize macro-virtually. We will deliver the power of supply-chains to monetize. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, social-network-based, real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to whiteboard holistically. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The aptitude to synthesize iteravely leads to the aptitude to actualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Think visionary. Without development, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? The ability to facilitate holistically leads to the capability to extend robustly. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to redefine seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be synergistic? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of long-term global resource-constrained next-generation bloatware. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% 100% realistic! If you upgrade interactively, you may have to scale globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTTP. The structuring factor is scalable. Think end-to-end. Think real-time. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate initiatives, obfuscation reports are forced to become magnetic. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much J++, and not enough SVG. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for monitoring emerging eyeballs?