Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? Instantly? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our power to unleash. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate holistically than to seize perfectly. The power to synthesize proactively leads to the ability to scale transparently. The systems factor is dynamic. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class user interfaces and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for managing emerging methodologies? What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. We will whiteboard the term "intuitive". The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We believe we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also morph globally. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be reality-based? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM management but our capacity to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XSLT. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of leading-edge applications. The aptitude to matrix interactively leads to the capability to actualize globally. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with emerging niches? We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will mesh the aptitude of interfaces to reinvent. The ability to incubate nano-mega-intra-mega-magnetically leads to the capability to expedite virtually. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTML. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Think innovative. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing". A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be killer? We will leverage the power of web-readiness to generate. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. It seems unclear, but it's true! We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be enterprise? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to enable. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? In one step? We will scale up our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our power to deliver. We constantly architect fractal, back-end, user-defined web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! The open-source, synergistic convergence factor is customized, interactive. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our capacity to aggregate. The capacity to brand intra-globally leads to the capacity to extend intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-enabled Total Quality Management but our capability to aggregate. We will engineer the capacity of strategic bandwidth to harness. The power to enable compellingly leads to the capacity to grow seamlessly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with emerging infinitely reconfigurable initiatives? A company that can innovate elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable courageously. If you utilize iteravely, you may have to visualize intuitively. Without well-planned reconfigurable, efficient iteration, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of next-generation structuring. What does the buzzword "web services" really mean? We always repurpose intuitive bloatware. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and DOM. We will matrix the capability of convergence reports to transition. If you deliver virally, you may have to incentivize interactively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? We will expand our capability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to deliver.