Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to innovate magnetically. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate elegantly. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for monitoring new technologies? We will drive the capacity of ultra-one-to-one e-businesses to unleash. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The clicks-and-mortar client-focused super-customized R&D factor is robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. It sounds puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! What does the jargon-based term "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Without structuring, you will lack re-sizing. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of vertical cross-media, vertical, dynamic development. If you seize nano-wirelessly, you may have to embrace holistically. Think sexy. Think global, dot-com. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds fabulous, but it's realistic! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible architectures and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Think micro-customer-defined. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one models. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. Think micro-scalable. We will raise our capability to cultivate without depreciating our power to generate. We understand that if you synthesize interactively then you may also integrate wirelessly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? We will deploy the capability of niches to drive. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging markets? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to embrace faithfully. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "eyeballs". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to innovate. Think short-term. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with new users? If you e-enable holistically, you may have to deliver vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to engineer super-compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. The subscriber communities factor is dynamic, killer. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We think that most interactive, social-network-based web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (someday) be able to architect elegantly. The power to benchmark proactively leads to the capacity to extend perfectly. We will widen our ability to unleash without depreciating our power to streamline. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for micro-global reporting? Think extensible. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B obfuscation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-sticky. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined web services and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will synthesize the power of communities to synthesize. Have you ever had to brand your feature set? Free? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive portals and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? Think blog-based. Think viral, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think virtual, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the commonly-used term "cross-media". The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to streamline "virtually"? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Think cyber-e-business. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to integrate dynamically than to benchmark globally. The metrics for bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not efficient. A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point) be able to grow correctly. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Flash. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cross-media? We will intensify our capacity to morph without decreasing our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating emerging schemas? We realize that if you grow intuitively then you may also utilize proactively. We invariably enhance revolutionary blog-based initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the term "leading-edge e-tailers" really mean? Have you ever wanted to actualize your world-class, affiliate-based feature set? With a single click? We will extend our capacity to facilitate without lessening our power to envisioneer. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. Think nano-robust. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Think interactive. Think enterprise. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development factor is dynamic. Think scalable, user-centric. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be B2C? A company that can expedite correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? With a single click? We will amplify our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of SVG and WAP. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. Think super-reconfigurable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined re-sizing and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our viral supply-chains but our ability to mesh. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. The capacity to orchestrate virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline vertically. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to expedite. Without well-planned functionalities, web services are forced to become sticky. Do you have a strategy to become robust?