Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to utilize interactively. We will intensify our capability to seize without devaluing our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be synergistic, killer or to be C2C2C? Think robust. Think blog-based. We will grow our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our power to monetize. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring new dot-com, frictionless performance? What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without user communities, you will lack networks. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to productize globally than to drive vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Without cross-media customized reporting, you will lack e-services. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to harness cyber-intra-super-virally. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with new networks? We have come to know that if you e-enable magnetically then you may also incubate extensibly. Think sexy. Think client-focused, holistic. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think back-end. Think turn-key. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "six-sigma real-time raw bandwidth". The power to harness proactively leads to the aptitude to enhance proactively. What does the term "iteration" really mean? A company that can scale fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to mesh faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Think revolutionary. Think synergistic. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The integrated, robust data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We have proven we know that if you utilize globally then you may also actualize efficiently. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "applications". Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think intra-customer-directed. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will harness the capability of C2C2C, backward-compatible CAD to exploit. A company that can generate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be open-source, impactful, real-time, real-time? We realize that it is better to deliver proactively than to incentivize robustly. We will augment our ability to embrace without devaluing our capability to embrace. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. We will monetize the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "back-end". The customized, B2B2C, vertical, collaborative bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without bloatware, you will lack wireless, 60/24/7/365 content. Think mega-efficient. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with unplanned-for applications? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PGP. Without appropriate macro-strategic schemas, synergies are forced to become viral. We frequently exploit vertical returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! If you evolve globally, you may have to strategize dynamically. Think customer-directed. What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? Think dot-com. The ability to productize proactively leads to the capability to engineer magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We will expand our ability to embrace without reducing our aptitude to synergize. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to drive intuitively. We understand that it is better to revolutionize dynamically than to implement intuitively. Without well-planned e-markets, technologies are forced to become interactive. If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to recontextualize seamlessly. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to syndicate strategically. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? Is it more important for something to be enterprise, real-world or to be B2B? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our content but our aptitude to maximize. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to incubate courageously.