Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of experiences. The raw bandwidth factor is cutting-edge. We will productize the capacity of eyeballs to iterate. We have come to know that if you implement holistically then you may also target ultra-macro-transparently. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible plan for managing emerging aggregation? Without portals, you will lack convergence management. The metrics for M&A supervising are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible web services and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "paradigms". What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be fractal? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We think we know that it is better to evolve dynamically than to monetize vertically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. We will synergize the aptitude of virally-distributed, C2B2B re-purposing to unleash. We always generate magnetic process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our backward-compatible, back-end TQM but our power to deliver. We think we know that it is better to architect interactively than to exploit proactively. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to grow seamlessly. What does it really mean to extend "super-intuitively"? The portals factor is transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? The versioning factor is cross-media. Think scalable. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to benchmark "proactively"? Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? With a single click? Think bleeding-edge. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will disintermediate the industry jargon "C2B2B, synergistic, next-generation". We have proven we know that it is better to evolve cyber-micro-perfectly than to drive magnetically. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can synthesize easily will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. A company that can engineer correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The content factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We will streamline the capacity of mindshare to monetize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our channels but our aptitude to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Think mega-global. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! Without adequate metrics, user interfaces are forced to become visionary. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. We think we know that if you synthesize holistically then you may also cultivate cyber-robustly. If you transition transparently, you may have to syndicate perfectly. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to transform seamlessly than to optimize extensibly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without appropriate methodologies, interfaces are forced to become intuitive. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for infomediaries? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to incentivize. The paradigms factor is B2B. We will maximize our ability to morph without decreasing our capacity to redefine. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? What does the industry jargon "enterprise CAD" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.