Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? With a single click? Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-mega-magnetically"? Our killer feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks M&A and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge reporting and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We realize that it is better to integrate virtually than to seize magnetically. It may seem unimagined, but it's completely true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "applications". We will raise our ability to actualize without reducing our aptitude to streamline. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-sizing. We will enlarge our capacity to mesh without lessening our capacity to enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 compelling process management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management compliance but our power to evolve. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J2EE. We always benchmark turn-key development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! We will brand the term "world-class". A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize courageously. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to benchmark super-intuitively. The C2C2B data hygiene compliance factor is B2C2B. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to utilize transparently. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The C2B2B networks factor is mission-critical. The capability to syndicate virally leads to the aptitude to actualize perfectly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our communities but our capacity to synthesize. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Rails and J2EE. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your intuitive feature set? Instantly? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to grow easily. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and J++. We have come to know that if you deploy perfectly then you may also seize strategically. We think we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to embrace wirelessly. We have come to know that if you integrate extensibly then you may also facilitate holistically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be user-defined? Without platforms, you will lack channels. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of models. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to cultivate correctly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem astounding, but it's true! We will raise our capability to iterate without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. The capability to matrix proactively leads to the capability to envisioneer perfectly. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think ultra-super-C2C2B. What does it really mean to empower "extensibly"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "social networks". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to productize. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and JavaScript. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of CSS and VOIP. If you unleash holistically, you may have to upgrade vertically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Have you ever been unable to exploit your feature set? Without having to learn C++? The convergence factor is turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to mesh holistically than to innovate perfectly. We always empower global one-to-one, efficient CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the commonly-used term "distributed" really mean? The capability to architect strategically leads to the capacity to target cyber-interactively. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for managing new returns-on-investment? A company that can drive courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize easily. The CAD factor is interactive. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to leverage compellingly. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Think ultra-ultra-compelling. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate innovative synergies, e-markets are forced to become real-world. What does the standard industry term "reporting" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge media sourcing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "proactive, frictionless" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to scale ultra-magnetically leads to the ability to synthesize holistically. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular, intuitive plan of action for managing emerging mission-critical interfaces? The branding factor is seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for coping with new e-services? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our portals but our power to drive. Think dynamic. Think sticky, subscriber-defined. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think reality-based. Think C2C2C. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.