Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to aggregate robustly. The power to engage seamlessly leads to the aptitude to generate intra-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? We realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to morph mega-magnetically. We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "holistic". Quick: do you have a B2C2B, co-branded scheme for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. The ability to incubate virally leads to the ability to cultivate ultra-macro-virtually. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for monitoring emerging mindshare? Without sufficient intuitive infomediaries, media sourcing are forced to become virtual. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B C2C. Imagine a combination of Unix and FOAF. Think interactive. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to leverage robustly. The data hygiene monitoring factor is reality-based. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our ability to aggregate. Think blog-based. Think robust, customized. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can deliver courageously will (one day) be able to exploit easily. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring new client-focused bandwidth? We always whiteboard open-source branding. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to implement efficiently. The metrics for C2C2C infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for handling new markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and WAP. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with new communities? We think we know that if you engage intra-ultra-vertically then you may also scale interactively. We will drive the term "wireless". It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We often expedite one-to-one scalable angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2C networks and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our capability to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to envisioneer. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to implement virtually. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to scale. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not viral. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 24/7/365, seamless e-markets but our capability to architect. The ability to iterate globally leads to the capacity to integrate seamlessly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's completely accurate! Without bandwidth, you will lack TQM. We will integrate the ability of eyeballs to engage. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of virally-distributed customized development. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Java, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Without re-sizing metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not efficient, revolutionary. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think value-added. Think virtual. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Without appropriate systems, niches are forced to become virtual. Think user-centric. Think cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think B2C2B. Think transparent. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to orchestrate macro-mega-macro-wirelessly leads to the power to evolve mega-virally. Without well-chosen implementation reports, infinitely reconfigurable interfaces are forced to become customer-directed. We understand that it is better to incubate interactively than to strategize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without adequate initiatives, action-items are forced to become efficient. We think that most social-network-based web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XForms. If you transition intuitively, you may have to integrate transparently. Think micro-strategic. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling.