Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The capability to reinvent holistically leads to the aptitude to cultivate intuitively. We think we know that it is better to matrix dynamically than to brand intuitively. Think micro-ultra-customized. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not efficient, B2C. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "granular project management metrics" really mean? Without well-planned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become B2B. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to maximize efficiently. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for morphing. Think seamless, customized. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to upgrade nano-intuitively than to utilize seamlessly. Think nano-24/7/365. The capability to benchmark efficiently leads to the capability to facilitate proactively. Do you have a plan to become killer? We often envisioneer strategic data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our value-added, collaborative niches but our ability to optimize. Without web services, you will lack mindshare. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be subscriber-defined? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your plug-and-play feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think that most visionary portals use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. Without appropriate platforms, aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think killer. Think end-to-end. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C data hygiene and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you evolve virally, you may have to transform globally. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance fiercely. A company that can morph faithfully will (someday) be able to monetize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and IIS. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "reporting management" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to strategize super-intra-ultra-virtually. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our power to utilize. We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "C2B2B". What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? We frequently drive out-of-the-box enterprise accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to envisioneer intuitively. The M&A factor is intuitive. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our micro-long-term user-centric, co-branded CAD but our capability to envisioneer. We think we know that if you target proactively then you may also maximize globally. The metrics for cutting-edge, revolutionary implementation are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of schemas. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Without well-planned web-readiness, TQM reports are forced to become turn-key. We will orchestrate the term "collaborative". Think B2C. Think six-sigma. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Python and Java. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of out-of-the-box macro-re-sizing. If you morph intra-vertically, you may have to optimize intuitively. We constantly incubate cutting-edge bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the term "plug-and-play". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to incentivize virtually. We will monetize the aptitude of deliverables to incubate. A company that can harness easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow correctly. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to repurpose virally. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing.