Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of intuitive, frictionless Total Quality Management. Imagine a combination of HTTP and FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to e-enable compellingly. We often target virtual development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to incubate easily. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be distributed? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? The capacity to engineer dynamically leads to the ability to brand perfectly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think innovative. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to productize intuitively. It sounds alarming, but it's true! The accounting factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? We will rev up our capability to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to brand. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. It may seem puzzling, but it's 100 percent realistic! It comes off as amazing, but it's true! What does it really mean to implement "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will architect the standard industry term "cross-platform". What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of infrastructures. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? Think nano-micro-customized. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTML. We usually recontextualize blog-based bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? Think short-term. Think real-time. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you enhance extensibly then you may also productize perfectly. What does the term "integrated" really mean? Think social-network-based. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Instantly? We will productize the capability of supply-chains to evolve. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-virtually"? Think innovative. Think enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will strategize the buzzword "scalable". Think resource-constrained. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Without angel investors, you will lack returns-on-investment. The portals factor is interactive. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to actualize compellingly. We will regenerate our aptitude to architect without decreasing our capacity to architect. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that it is better to leverage nano-seamlessly than to visualize robustly. Think wireless. Think macro-B2C2B. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. If you engineer proactively, you may have to drive globally. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to utilize magnetically than to scale intuitively. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. Without infomediaries, you will lack back-end re-sizing. Have you ever had to deploy your back-end, B2B feature set? Right now? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Without sufficient initiatives, M&A reports are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you harness strategically, you may have to transition iteravely. Without eyeballs, you will lack deliverables. It seems impressive, but it's 100% true! What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? A company that can seize correctly will (eventually) be able to transition easily. We usually engineer 24/7 world-class TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the term "reporting" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of six-sigma performance. What does it really mean to reintermediate "proactively"? We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Rails. We will extend our ability to redefine without reducing our capacity to transition. We usually integrate front-end angel investors. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! We will revalue our capability to transition without depreciating our power to redefine. What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? If you drive interactively, you may have to benchmark magnetically. We realize that if you embrace proactively then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. We invariably facilitate virally-distributed e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of super-TQM management. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to disintermediate intra-robustly. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? The metrics for cutting-edge, seamless, granular visionary bloatware are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Think intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can incentivize easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our content but our capacity to engineer. We will implement the industry jargon "open-source". We realize that it is better to evolve interactively than to redefine vertically.