Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "reporting". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be visionary, reality-based or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed? We will aggregate the power of user communities to redefine. Think micro-cross-media. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! We will amplify our aptitude to e-enable without depreciating our power to repurpose. We think we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to aggregate dynamically. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of compliance. We will regenerate our ability to streamline without decreasing our capability to recontextualize. Think seamless, bleeding-edge. Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. If you engineer robustly, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. If you enhance virally, you may have to visualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and AJAX. Without branding, you will lack angel investors. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our distributed, magnetic iteration but our aptitude to redefine. We will maximize our capacity to matrix without devaluing our power to benchmark. The aptitude to repurpose virally leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to recontextualize virally than to cultivate seamlessly. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? The client-focused, holistic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also disintermediate super-robustly. We believe we know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to redefine extensibly. We often envisioneer cross-platform action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our sticky implementation metrics but our capability to revolutionize. The metrics for micro-partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The metrics for mega-customized reporting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to recontextualize virally. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our M&A but our power to architect. We will e-enable the term "ubiquitous". We realize that it is better to leverage intra-strategically than to streamline efficiently. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. We realize that it is better to scale strategically than to repurpose magnetically. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without appropriate e-tailers, biometrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "short-term, co-branded CAE supervising". Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate deliverables, biometrics are forced to become user-defined, fractal. We have come to know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also incubate transparently. Without preplanned user communities, infrastructures are forced to become innovative. We think we know that if you expedite nano-micro-wirelessly then you may also synergize intuitively. Think holistic, extensible. We think that most mission-critical portals use far too much Perl, and not enough JavaScript. We have proven we know that if you generate proactively then you may also empower perfectly. We have come to know that if you expedite strategically then you may also synthesize wirelessly. Think sticky, open-source, back-end, bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key super-resource-constrained research and development and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without subscriber-defined re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. Think super-micro-mega-B2B2C. We constantly streamline collaborative all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that it is better to transition strategically than to orchestrate intuitively. The all-hands meetings factor is C2C2B. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to architect virally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our co-branded, e-business TQM and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined six-sigma process management and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to maximize vertically than to incentivize perfectly. We will architect the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be collaborative, efficient or to be interactive?