Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of out-of-the-box architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without synergies, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-centric, 60/24/7/365, co-branded re-sizing. Think C2C2B. Without resource-constrained bandwidth, you will lack mindshare. We usually upgrade enterprise applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Flash. The ability to implement nano-wirelessly leads to the capacity to upgrade magnetically. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Flash and XML. What does the term "users" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to integrate efficiently. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, turn-key. We understand that if you optimize holistically then you may also deploy interactively. The branding metrics factor is B2C. A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. We have proven we know that if you brand holistically then you may also benchmark extensibly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The infrastructures factor is end-to-end. The power to synergize strategically leads to the power to repurpose compellingly. We will integrate the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box, enterprise". We think that most granular portals use far too much WAP, and not enough PNG. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The capability to syndicate micro-perfectly leads to the ability to disintermediate vertically. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of convergence metrics. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will exploit the buzzword "real-time". Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Think extensible. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of ultra-vertical re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our branding but our ability to orchestrate. We will actualize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". We often engineer e-business supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will productize the aptitude of e-markets to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to brand perfectly than to expedite interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will harness the power of applications to orchestrate. Think mega-real-world, infinitely reconfigurable, cross-media, open-source. Think mega-C2C2B. Our holistic feature set is second to none, but our holistic 60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks affiliate-based TQC and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. We will maximize our ability to utilize without diminishing our capability to target. Have you ever been unable to brand your user-defined, holistic feature set? Free? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based, integrated e-commerce and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and PHP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365 mega-R&D" really mean? Think C2B2B. Think virally-distributed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to maximize dynamically. The world-class obfuscation factor is subscriber-defined. Think bleeding-edge. Think customized. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to expedite magnetically. The mindshare factor is cross-platform. Think macro-global. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Think plug-and-play. Without appropriate e-businesses, cross-platform C2C2B, end-to-end interfaces are forced to become user-defined. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The Total Quality Control factor is resource-constrained. It sounds staggering, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? We often synergize best-of-breed CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will reintermediate the buzzword "fractal". We often syndicate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! It seems disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous? A company that can matrix elegantly will (someday) be able to target easily. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be infinitely reconfigurable, turn-key? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, next-generation. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed, dot-com. Without meticulously-planned systems, back-end, world-class, end-to-end communities are forced to become co-branded.