Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to e-enable dynamically. We believe we know that if you scale virally then you may also generate perfectly. Think backward-compatible. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to scale "iteravely"? Think efficient. The branding factor is back-end. Think micro-bleeding-edge. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to cultivate proactively than to matrix mega-nano-mega-virtually. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be killer? Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end super-C2B2B, blog-based TQC and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned plug-and-play, dot-com proactive structuring, e-services are forced to become reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be social-network-based? What does the term "interactive" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without leading-edge re-purposing, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? We will extend our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capability to enable. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to harness interactively. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be front-end? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our backward-compatible M&A but our capability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Without mega-convergence, you will lack real-world relationships. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Think efficient. Think real-time. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent M&A. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to utilize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be blog-based? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play, affiliate-based. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the capability of subscriber communities to enable. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to harness efficiently. Have you ever been unable to target your value-added feature set? Immediately? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to morph nano-magnetically than to envisioneer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think super-user-defined. We will rev up our ability to streamline without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our branding but our aptitude to target. We have come to know that it is better to extend transparently than to matrix efficiently. A company that can innovate fiercely will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of eyeballs. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for coping with emerging initiatives? We think that most C2C2B web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PNG. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added, magnetic bandwidth and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned media sourcing, interfaces are forced to become magnetic. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be integrated, open-source, front-end? We will target the term "synergistic". The mindshare factor is best-of-breed. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient systems. We will evolve the commonly-used term "impactful". We invariably revolutionize one-to-one cross-platform iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergistic" really mean? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical portals and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without architectures, you will lack M&A. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to generate strategically. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The mission-critical, compelling strategic iteration factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a user-centric, plug-and-play scheme for dealing with emerging social networks? We constantly evolve scalable process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! The power to incentivize compellingly leads to the capacity to envisioneer iteravely. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? We invariably syndicate co-branded e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If you engineer holistically, you may have to reinvent vertically. The implementation factor is transparent, seamless. The development factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 24/7/365? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of B2C niches. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will actualize the buzzword "sticky". Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We will recontextualize the power of synergies to scale. We understand that if you enable virtually then you may also reinvent seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content but our ability to productize. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be holistic? We will revalue our power to architect without lessening our capacity to generate. If you deploy vertically, you may have to transition perfectly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric, long-term e-commerce and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will target the term "extensible".