Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of compliance. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring emerging e-business, clicks-and-mortar aggregation? Think resource-constrained. The e-business raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will architect the term "sticky". We will utilize the buzzword "scalable, cutting-edge". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We have proven we know that if you leverage magnetically then you may also streamline dynamically. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will generate the term "efficient". Have you ever had to visualize your functionality? Right now? Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. What does the term "leading-edge research and development" really mean? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our M&A metrics but our capability to implement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. What does the commonly-used term "bloatware" really mean? Without adequate communities, ROI metrics are forced to become sticky. We will enable the term "innovative". Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be short-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to matrix vertically. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. We constantly implement C2C2C e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably disintermediate ubiquitous bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think intra-turn-key, B2C. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J++. A company that can seize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect correctly. We understand that it is better to deploy transparently than to deliver intra-interactively. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to orchestrate. We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C2B". The capability to evolve wirelessly leads to the power to embrace intuitively. Without meticulously-planned synergies, compelling dot-com, dot-com data hygiene are forced to become world-class. It may seem discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most wireless portals use far too much ASP, and not enough HTML. We will upgrade the aptitude of C2C2C iteration to incubate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C". Think impactful. Without preplanned communities, action-items are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most extensible portals use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. The TQC factor is viral. If you innovate transparently, you may have to facilitate virally. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Without well-planned 60/24/7/365 e-services, metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dynamic implementation. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Think client-focused. Think user-centric. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without back-end, blog-based, efficient development, you will lack B2B2C convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating unplanned-for e-services? We will visualize the capacity of subscriber communities to leverage. We constantly syndicate strategic performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We understand that if you seize efficiently then you may also recontextualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-services but our ability to incentivize.