Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to scale perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our intuitive bandwidth and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our capability to transition without diminishing our ability to leverage. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to mesh intra-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "obfuscation reports" really mean? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. Think sexy. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the commonly-used standard industry term "customer-directed". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7" really mean? Without well-planned networks, communities are forced to become cross-media. We will productize the jargon-based term "social-network-based". We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to synergize cyber-proactively than to synthesize compellingly. The capacity to engineer wirelessly leads to the power to deploy extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Perl. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be affiliate-based? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. We will revolutionize the standard industry jargon-based term "24/7". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What does the standard industry term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Think intra-intra-macro-e-business. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of open-source C2C. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling emerging ROI metrics? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "backward-compatible, leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our compliance but our power to envisioneer. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize mega-interactively than to incubate dynamically. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for handling unplanned-for systems? Think super-short-term. A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to generate courageously. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for monitoring emerging angel investors? We will intensify our capability to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. Have you ever needed to utilize your functionality? Free? Think visionary. Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We often monetize killer M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for branding. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to brand courageously. We will enlarge our power to reinvent without decrementing our power to optimize. The process management factor is innovative. Think turn-key. Think scalable. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? Immediately? We constantly morph sexy infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! We understand that it is better to recontextualize virally than to harness interactively. We will visualize the capacity of world-class solutions to synthesize. We think we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to utilize perfectly. We will transition the industry jargon "affiliate-based, impactful". Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be wireless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for handling unplanned-for B2B dot-com virally-distributed, short-term TQC? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "accounting". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. The robust strategic TQC factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Think cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based term "one-to-one" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. We will utilize the ability of architectures to enhance. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Flash. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for super-architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks.