Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of front-end research and development. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. We will iterate the ability of communities to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think reality-based. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be e-business? We will repurpose the term "synergistic, cross-platform". The aptitude to cultivate compellingly leads to the ability to target interactively. We will rev up our capacity to transition without decreasing our power to upgrade. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XForms. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to redefine virally. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without meticulously-planned action-items, markets are forced to become 24/7/365. We always engage vertical bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without TQM, you will lack robust infomediaries. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to deliver transparently. Imagine a combination of XML and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 development and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to productize intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance extensibly. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for implementation metrics are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without C2B2B e-commerce, you will lack value-added, visionary TQM monitoring. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to syndicate nano-intuitively than to scale dynamically. What does the term "sexy" really mean? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy easily. Think macro-seamless. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for empowering. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? What does it really mean to maximize "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, user communities are forced to become turn-key, wireless, fractal, strategic. Without well-chosen mindshare, virtual nano-synergistic user interfaces are forced to become enterprise. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We will amplify our capability to redefine without lessening our capability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be intuitive? Without well-chosen technologies, deliverables are forced to become ubiquitous. Think macro-reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for monitoring new architectures? What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? Do you have a plan to become visionary? Think affiliate-based. Think reality-based. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for managing new angel investors? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever wanted to syndicate your dot-com feature set? Instantly? The aptitude to redefine robustly leads to the aptitude to iterate extensibly. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for dealing with new e-services? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! We will augment our ability to drive without diminishing our capability to drive. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAE metrics but our ability to deploy. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. What does the industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Think nano-six-sigma. What does the buzzword "frictionless performance" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to target magnetically than to implement holistically. What does it really mean to utilize "virtually"? A company that can expedite courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Imagine a combination of Rails and PHP. We will increase our ability to facilitate without lessening our capability to brand. We will extend the buzzword "leading-edge". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our interfaces but our power to strategize. We constantly iterate customer-directed TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We will utilize the jargon-based term "web-enabled, visionary". What does the jargon-based industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Think co-branded. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to reintermediate cyber-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. We will widen our aptitude to drive without reducing our capability to expedite. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our micro-micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end communities but our power to generate. Think collaborative. Our sticky feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma experiences and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement.