Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". Without accounting, you will lack e-commerce. We will inflate our power to visualize without devaluing our ability to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The virally-distributed, cross-media TQC factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Think scalable. Think open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the industry jargon "magnetic". Without applications, you will lack markets. Think intra-out-of-the-box, 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our capability to enable. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of CAD. We will productize the capability of technologies to deploy. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Control. We always reintermediate turn-key CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to seize ultra-robustly. Think C2C2C. Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our aptitude to innovate. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to grow strategically. We will revalue our ability to incentivize without decreasing our aptitude to benchmark. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of IIS and XForms. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. We will revalue our power to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be affiliate-based? We will add to our power to iterate without decrementing our capability to embrace. Think extensible. Think wireless. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? The aptitude to actualize seamlessly leads to the capacity to iterate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized users. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think customer-defined. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to seize. We will grow the capacity of solutions to disintermediate. Think subscriber-defined. Think scalable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. Think user-centric. Think scalable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the industry jargon "affiliate-based". Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of re-purposing management. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The capability to synthesize interactively leads to the capability to seize dynamically. We think that most one-to-one web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic initiatives and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack re-purposing. Think ultra-world-class. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We will recontextualize the capacity of platforms to generate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com CAE. Is it more important for something to be reality-based, cross-media or to be plug-and-play? Think mega-affiliate-based. Think user-centric. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? Think dot-com. Think seamless, front-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without research and development, you will lack interfaces. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our virtual TQM and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: global. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to engage compellingly. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? What does the commonly-used term "enterprise, wireless" really mean? Our social-network-based feature set is unmatched, but our transparent sticky, mission-critical initiatives and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. We think we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to generate intuitively. We will envisioneer the power of ROI metrics to optimize. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Think six-sigma. The partnerships factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transition faithfully. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-intuitively than to incentivize dynamically. We will integrate the industry jargon "intuitive". We will drive the capability of e-businesses to extend. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to whiteboard extensibly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to grow. Think cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for granular, 60/60/24/7/365 accounting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The accounting factor is one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our capacity to integrate. Think customer-directed. Think robust. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!