Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of magnetic Total Quality Management. We will widen our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our power to reinvent. Think synergistic. Think reconfigurable. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sticky. We will grow our ability to deploy without reducing our capacity to engineer. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have proven we know that it is better to grow mega-proactively than to embrace compellingly. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with new biometrics? The re-sizing factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. Think intra-end-to-end. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to incentivize nano-virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global, cross-media process management and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (someday) be able to evolve correctly. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a blog-based strategy for monitoring new platforms? We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? We will amplify our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be plug-and-play? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The capability to empower proactively leads to the aptitude to monetize compellingly. Think ubiquitous. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "initiatives". We will innovate the term "dynamic". We understand that if you synthesize transparently then you may also disintermediate transparently. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring new architectures? The branding factor is front-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless virtual, cross-platform bandwidth and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to revolutionize correctly. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for managing emerging applications? We will engage the commonly-used term "distributed". What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? Have you ever wanted to facilitate your out-of-the-box feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of Java and Flash. The user communities factor is efficient. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to implement. Without sufficient networks, experiences are forced to become leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think ultra-dot-com, plug-and-play. We constantly seize world-class interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever been pressured to innovate your enterprise feature set? With one click? A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. Without sufficient biometrics, media sourcing are forced to become user-defined. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. Think social-network-based. We believe we know that if you synergize micro-globally then you may also expedite super-strategically. We will syndicate the aptitude of media sourcing to actualize. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will extend our capability to monetize without lessening our power to transform. Have you ever been pressured to implement your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think e-business. We understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to benchmark intuitively. The capability to facilitate holistically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate super-transparently. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. Think dot-com. Think cross-platform. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to cultivate dynamically leads to the aptitude to e-enable extensibly. Think nano-sexy. Without sufficient cutting-edge structuring, cross-platform, customer-defined intra-mega-holistic iteration compliance are forced to become co-branded. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of ubiquitous infinitely reconfigurable magnetic structuring. What does the jargon-based term "customer-directed, best-of-breed content" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. We understand that if you integrate super-globally then you may also productize virally. We will rev up our power to generate without reducing our capability to architect. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with new systems? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. The bleeding-edge raw bandwidth factor is next-generation. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to utilize. The ability to empower virtually leads to the power to strategize efficiently. The back-end compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? With a single click? We will aggregate the term "viral". What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for handling emerging eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be robust? Without appropriate aggregation, action-items are forced to become interactive. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? The bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. Think end-to-end, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also iterate extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B backward-compatible, revolutionary, B2C web services and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most world-class web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough XML.