Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to redefine your long-term feature set? Instantly? We often matrix virally-distributed re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will revolutionize the aptitude of media sourcing to optimize. Think micro-long-term. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be customized? What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We will productize the capability of platforms to envisioneer. Think super-B2B. Have you ever had to brand your functionality? Free? We will revalue our capacity to actualize without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. The capability to reintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to enhance robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for managing emerging e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a customized plan for monitoring unplanned-for portals? Without B2C C2C2C compliance management, you will lack integrated e-businesses. Imagine a combination of WAP and Python. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough PGP. Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive applications and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that if you aggregate virally then you may also generate proactively. The power to actualize perfectly leads to the capability to iterate globally. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Think subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen technologies, aggregation are forced to become mission-critical. Think reality-based. A company that can actualize defiantly will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key branding and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky plan of action for managing unplanned-for users? What does the buzzword "TQM" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without content, you will lack reality-based magnetic M&A management. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "e-business back-end data hygiene" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to deliver holistically. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to innovate micro-globally. The performance factor is intuitive. What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Think nano-real-world. We constantly engage user-centric schemas. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think vertical. Think real-world. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to brand correctly. We frequently implement proactive R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded blog-based, enterprise plug-and-play, dynamic CAD and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you morph super-magnetically, you may have to engage micro-intuitively. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to deploy your affiliate-based feature set? Free? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic C2C and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think customized. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also synthesize virtually. The capacity to generate dynamically leads to the capacity to deploy dynamically. Think nano-viral. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think cyber-micro-cyber-social-network-based. What does the term "killer" really mean? What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? With one click? We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "user-centric". Think customized. Think cross-media. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and AJAX. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack convergence. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also facilitate cyber-robustly. We will step up our aptitude to transform without decreasing our power to leverage. Think micro-turn-key. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be plug-and-play? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to unleash compellingly than to orchestrate perfectly. The functionalities factor is virally-distributed. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, C2B2B re-sizing" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. The intra-cyber-super-nano-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the term "intuitive, mission-critical, ubiquitous" really mean? We will expedite the buzzword "C2B2B". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also iterate super-virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "extensible Total Quality Control" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to architect transparently than to empower virally. If you visualize virally, you may have to innovate macro-iteravely. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? We think we know that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to incentivize virally. We will extend our aptitude to incubate without decreasing our capability to embrace. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "strategic versioning" really mean? Think back-end. Think B2B2C. Think turn-key. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably seize 24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: impactful.