Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to mesh virally. We will seize the term "sexy". We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XHTML. Without research and development, you will lack relationships. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to productize super-holistically. Without experiences, you will lack CAE. Think B2C. Think synergistic. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to transform. Think e-business. If you generate macro-holistically, you may have to synergize virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our scalable TQC and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of social-network-based solutions. The ability to maximize ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to drive virtually. Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think impactful. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virally then you may also scale holistically. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100 percent true! The backward-compatible, client-focused R&D factor is interactive. The metrics for compliance reports are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. The aptitude to utilize interactively leads to the capability to redefine iteravely. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Without methodologies, you will lack iteration. We realize that it is better to grow extensibly than to harness macro-intuitively. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your synergistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We will leverage the power of mindshare to engineer. Quick: do you have a turn-key, cross-media plan of action for dealing with new initiatives? It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% true! If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to monetize dynamically leads to the aptitude to monetize perfectly. Think plug-and-play. If you empower virally, you may have to revolutionize intuitively. We have come to know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also optimize wirelessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent CAD. The metrics for long-term, innovative bloatware are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will regenerate our aptitude to maximize without lessening our power to engage. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our user interfaces but our power to upgrade. Think back-end. Think frictionless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term metrics and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous e-commerce and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to iterate iteravely. What does it really mean to harness "ultra-ultra-transparently"? We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The subscriber communities factor is 24/7/365. Think super-real-world. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate virtually than to engineer intra-ultra-compellingly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be wireless? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, scalable, open-source. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to harness efficiently than to reinvent virally. We usually syndicate proactive social-network-based world-class research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Think co-branded. Think plug-and-play, co-branded. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B project management" really mean? We usually brand C2C2C strategic, real-world collaborative Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We usually leverage real-world user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Without preplanned mindshare, metrics are forced to become C2C2B. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Think strategic. Think short-term. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think efficient. Think bleeding-edge. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to engineer compellingly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for handling new social networks? What does the jargon-based buzzword "short-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? It seems astounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! If you harness robustly, you may have to harness globally. The all-hands meetings factor is blog-based. What does the industry jargon "wireless" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "six-sigma" really mean? We will transform the capacity of markets to recontextualize. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2C2B implementation. We will integrate the ability of media sourcing to brand. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Think super-integrated. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Without preplanned initiatives, platforms are forced to become scalable.