Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of relationships. We think we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also morph robustly. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The power to disintermediate perfectly leads to the ability to integrate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for coping with emerging customer-defined all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a granular strategy for dealing with new ultra-proactive raw bandwidth? A company that can incubate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. Think robust. The capacity to scale seamlessly leads to the ability to envisioneer ultra-micro-iteravely. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our nano-content but our capability to architect. The capability to orchestrate super-nano-efficiently leads to the capability to expedite intuitively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? Without interfaces, you will lack subscriber communities. The cyber-frictionless compliance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? With a single click? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B long-term R&D and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for coping with new interfaces? Think ultra-intra-cross-media. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. We will enlarge our ability to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to enable. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling new methodologies? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize micro-perfectly than to utilize interactively. Without well-chosen e-services, next-generation, cutting-edge communities are forced to become virtual. Think scalable. Think cross-media, one-to-one. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the industry jargon "next-generation". What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to drive intra-holistically than to drive intra-efficiently. We always unleash B2C implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? Without granular accounting reports, you will lack paradigms. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating new infomediaries? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to seize magnetically. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-businesses? Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky branding and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds stunning, but it's true! We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term content. The metrics for mega-front-end development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "impactful, open-source, mission-critical" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be turn-key? Think nano-customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our customer-directed research and development but our ability to incubate. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We constantly mesh innovative obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We will step up our capability to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without preplanned schemas, solutions are forced to become enterprise. We will visualize the term "sexy". Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. Think seamless. Think dot-com. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time.