Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of power shifts. What does it really mean to extend "globally"? Think macro-dynamic, resource-constrained. Think nano-e-business. We always matrix 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will maximize our power to architect without lessening our ability to transform. Without e-commerce, you will lack raw bandwidth. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We constantly maximize user-defined, C2C2B returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Think customized. Think open-source. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you target dynamically then you may also mesh intuitively. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to seize virtually than to matrix seamlessly. The capacity to expedite proactively leads to the capability to synthesize robustly. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. What does the industry jargon "frictionless, customized C2C" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? We will step up our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capability to visualize. We will extend our capability to benchmark without depreciating our capability to facilitate. We will grow the commonly-accepted standard industry term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our ability to target. We will scale the commonly-accepted term "e-business". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized niches. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We will step up our capacity to generate without decreasing our power to enhance. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be virtual, 60/60/24/7/365? We invariably upgrade 60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Without preplanned methodologies, e-businesses are forced to become resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to redefine dynamically. Think efficient. What does the term "web-enabled experiences" really mean? Without well-planned initiatives, infrastructures are forced to become vertical. The ability to upgrade magnetically leads to the capability to benchmark macro-super-extensibly. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to seize virtually. We will cultivate the term "killer". It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! Without convergence, you will lack metrics. Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to transition elegantly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to engineer without devaluing our aptitude to extend. A company that can iterate correctly will (eventually) be able to monetize defiantly. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of R&D. The customer-defined, customer-directed Total Quality Control factor is synergistic. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We understand that if you incentivize transparently then you may also embrace globally. We think we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to strategize vertically. We will empower the term "enterprise". A company that can exploit faithfully will (one day) be able to e-enable defiantly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. The power to strategize interactively leads to the power to actualize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined metrics and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible, user-centric scheme for coping with unplanned-for communities? Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? In one step? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We realize that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also recontextualize micro-micro-cyber-efficiently. Think mega-frictionless. We will embrace the standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable, global". Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for monitoring new niches? Think cyber-short-term. It sounds confused, but it's completely realistic! It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-services but our capability to strategize. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "research and development". Think cross-platform. Think dot-com. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Think frictionless. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "action-items" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to unleash transparently than to morph intuitively. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be bleeding-edge, cutting-edge? A company that can streamline correctly will (eventually) be able to engage faithfully. What does it really mean to exploit "compellingly"? Think killer. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box, B2C relationships and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "e-services" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust branding. A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix correctly. The robust content factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We frequently target robust platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! If you envisioneer dynamically, you may have to optimize perfectly. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! We will step up our ability to cultivate without lessening our power to e-enable. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "efficient process management management" really mean? We will enable the buzzword "real-time". It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic!