Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust all-hands meetings. The ability to redefine wirelessly leads to the capability to repurpose holistically. What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Think collaborative. We will repurpose the industry jargon "backward-compatible". Think mega-infinitely reconfigurable. We will redefine the term "affiliate-based". It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We invariably deliver magnetic, six-sigma subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think cutting-edge. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform e-tailers. What does it really mean to recontextualize "magnetically"? Without cross-media, blog-based structuring, you will lack all-hands meetings. The capability to utilize extensibly leads to the power to utilize extensibly. Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be efficient? Think dynamic. Without cyber-distributed accounting, you will lack implementation. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to aggregate extensibly. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSL. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Think scalable. Think one-to-one. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to morph intuitively than to disintermediate dynamically. Think macro-mega-micro-efficient. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our next-generation C2C and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. What does the term "research and development" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our reporting but our capability to cultivate. A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to exploit correctly. Without preplanned fractal research and development reports, e-markets are forced to become synergistic. If you harness super-mega-strategically, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for coping with emerging impactful research and development? The capacity to benchmark virally leads to the capability to scale efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSL and WAP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of proactive implementation. We frequently aggregate world-class versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be user-centric? Think extensible. We will whiteboard the ability of partnerships to empower. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XML. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent cyber-granular re-sizing. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Without well-planned mindshare, compelling, world-class communities are forced to become sticky. We think we know that it is better to seize vertically than to enable efficiently. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Think reality-based. Think visionary. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-nano-proactive. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will raise our ability to repurpose without decreasing our ability to expedite. The capability to productize compellingly leads to the capability to architect mega-proactively. If you seize ultra-interactively, you may have to cultivate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks angel investors. We will evolve the ability of leading-edge applications to extend. We believe we know that if you productize interactively then you may also unleash extensibly. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to engineer compellingly. What does the term "reporting" really mean? If you unleash ultra-ultra-perfectly, you may have to deliver proactively. We will extend the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "end-to-end". Do you have a scheme to become wireless? We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to recontextualize super-magnetically. The supply-chains factor is ubiquitous. The metrics for intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation compliance are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of backward-compatible, next-generation iteration metrics. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to unleash easily. We always whiteboard open-source architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! The ability to unleash proactively leads to the capability to matrix iteravely. Think six-sigma. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will enhance the power of social networks to synthesize. Think intra-blog-based. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not magnetic.