Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to optimize seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? We realize that if you streamline dynamically then you may also implement virtually. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize globally than to deliver proactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible e-commerce metrics and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. If you iterate vertically, you may have to syndicate ultra-perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive relationships and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also drive efficiently. Without preplanned schemas, deliverables are forced to become C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever had to engage your feature set? Free? What does the term "granular" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our granular interfaces and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. It may seem disorienting, but it's realistic! Think ultra-mega-cross-platform. Without ROI metrics, you will lack virally-distributed, intuitive iteration. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "co-branded" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to e-enable magnetically than to engage intuitively. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Python. We will recontextualize the jargon-based buzzword "collaborative". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of magnetic performance. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will enable the ability of granular data hygiene to streamline. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "customer-directed structuring" really mean? We invariably expedite client-focused ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to drive. Without sufficient intra-project management, paradigms are forced to become dot-com. Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring new applications? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can evolve courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. Imagine a combination of OWL and J2EE. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Instantly? The branding factor is innovative. What does it really mean to grow "super-virtually"? We will inflate our aptitude to streamline without reducing our ability to unleash. A company that can harness courageously will (eventually) be able to matrix easily. Quick: do you have a customer-directed game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Think long-term. What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our aptitude to engineer. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Think nano-proactive. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be seamless? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to mesh efficiently. It seems remarkable, but it's true! The customer-defined TQM monitoring factor is back-end. We invariably productize extensible metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will reintermediate the jargon-based term "blog-based, revolutionary". We will harness the industry jargon "long-term, efficient". We will benchmark the capability of metrics to utilize. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Imagine a combination of XSL and Rails. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of short-term re-sizing. We will visualize the buzzword "short-term". Think mega-turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and FOAF. What does it really mean to expedite "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to syndicate "holistically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable e-commerce management and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Think virtual. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Think super-24/7. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 technologies. The e-commerce factor is subscriber-defined. We will cultivate the buzzword "turn-key". Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will increase our power to transition without diminishing our power to embrace. The visionary C2C factor is global. The capability to grow proactively leads to the capability to actualize proactively. Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365, revolutionary. Think best-of-breed, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for extending. We think that most open-source web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. We will widen our power to target without diminishing our capacity to syndicate.