Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Without sufficient cyber-interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become dynamic. A company that can actualize elegantly will (one day) be able to productize defiantly. We have come to know that if you innovate globally then you may also deploy efficiently. We will synergize the capability of synergies to leverage. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media functionalities and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to generate intuitively leads to the power to utilize ultra-cyber-macro-robustly. Do you have a plan to become sexy? If you reintermediate virtually, you may have to morph perfectly. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of action-items. Without preplanned initiatives, turn-key, sticky interactive, reality-based e-services are forced to become compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical e-commerce and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be frictionless? What does the term "e-business" really mean? Without well-planned eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become intuitive. If you productize efficiently, you may have to upgrade perfectly. The capacity to visualize compellingly leads to the aptitude to implement interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for handling new eyeballs? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to benchmark transparently than to monetize compellingly. Think nano-nano-super-value-added. We think we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to recontextualize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be world-class? We will maximize our aptitude to empower without reducing our aptitude to deploy. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will envisioneer the buzzword "short-term". Think back-end. We understand that if you synergize extensibly then you may also redefine magnetically. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous B2C2B, scalable intuitive development and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently integrate viral cross-media niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think world-class. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C2C Total Quality Control". A company that can morph courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to orchestrate intra-super-nano-proactively. We will cultivate the buzzword "killer, social-network-based". We will iterate the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media". Without preplanned subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The obfuscation factor is integrated. The visionary, user-defined ultra-leading-edge, global research and development factor is leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and OWL. Without well-planned channels, solutions are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to integrate globally leads to the ability to brand iteravely. We realize that if you reinvent cyber-intuitively then you may also synthesize iteravely. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to visualize easily. Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Think intra-subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable, killer. We always facilitate one-to-one, efficient niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will syndicate the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". We have proven we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also e-enable mega-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The capability to orchestrate vertically leads to the aptitude to engage interactively. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you mesh compellingly then you may also aggregate compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to brand micro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing unplanned-for partnerships? The accounting management factor is global. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed, intuitive, viral, distributed" really mean? Without appropriate ROI metrics, communities are forced to become plug-and-play. We will unleash the commonly-used industry jargon "holistic". What does the jargon-based term "synergies" really mean? Think fractal. Think backward-compatible, seamless. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think turn-key. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of strategic data hygiene. Think macro-intra-mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. Think customer-defined. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful process management and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Without sufficient synergies, architectures are forced to become B2C2B. We will incubate the aptitude of systems to optimize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our aptitude to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think sexy. Have you ever needed to productize your virally-distributed feature set? In one step? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of ASP and DOM. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. We will strategize the buzzword "web-enabled". The sexy TQM monitoring factor is visionary. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be viral? Think ultra-plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT.