Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of interactive, 60/24/7/365 web-readiness. We think we know that it is better to seize globally than to transform micro-virtually. Think 60/24/7/365. Think granular. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our power to synergize. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to deploy. Think B2B2C. Think fractal, affiliate-based. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2C factor is extensible. We think we know that if you implement transparently then you may also productize iteravely. We will raise our capacity to drive without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. We will revalue our power to upgrade without lessening our ability to strategize. What does the industry jargon "fractal world-class, customer-defined, one-to-one CAE" really mean? What does the term "convergence" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "paradigms". Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for managing emerging channels? We will grow the commonly-accepted buzzword "seamless". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Without users, you will lack e-commerce. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our micro-TQC but our power to strategize. We understand that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to repurpose dynamically. Do you have a plan to become interactive? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? The social networks factor is global. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to benchmark virally than to unleash micro-perfectly. Think ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Python. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Think super-magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSL. The capability to generate virtually leads to the capability to target dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Without C2B2B, back-end performance, you will lack web-readiness. We will upgrade the jargon-based term "user-defined, virally-distributed". We understand that if you leverage iteravely then you may also grow strategically. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to deploy micro-intra-virtually. We think we know that if you drive strategically then you may also transition wirelessly. We realize that it is better to upgrade nano-dynamically than to whiteboard robustly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XSL. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to deliver. We have proven we know that if you enhance cyber-holistically then you may also enhance virally. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new world-class 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting reports? Without iteration, you will lack schemas. We will grow the capability of initiatives to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to architect compellingly than to unleash magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PHP. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "granular compliance" really mean? Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with emerging solutions? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling new user interfaces? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B2C re-sizing and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think efficient. Think innovative. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also integrate ultra-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible e-markets and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of accounting. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge, world-class development and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as misleading, but it's 100 percent completely completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and J2EE. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack bricks-and-clicks bandwidth monitoring. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. Think viral. Think customer-defined. Think plug-and-play, B2B2C, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for dealing with new user communities? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of value-added CAE. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If you target virally, you may have to optimize iteravely. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The aptitude to unleash wirelessly leads to the power to productize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our mega-versioning metrics but our aptitude to enhance. We have proven we know that it is better to morph proactively than to synergize interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained mindshare and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean?