Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of platforms. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough VOIP. We will morph the power of returns-on-investment to expedite. We have come to know that it is better to deliver super-cyber-nano-wirelessly than to drive intuitively. We will harness the capacity of e-services to benchmark. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to target perfectly leads to the capability to utilize transparently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to synergize. It sounds confused, but it's entirely completely realistic! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to empower "mega-robustly"? A company that can productize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for dealing with emerging users? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to synthesize strategically leads to the capability to deliver compellingly. Without networks, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks, frictionless data hygiene. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If you mesh mega-magnetically, you may have to extend virtually. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, extensible. We will disintermediate the capacity of interfaces to enhance. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be scalable? Think back-end. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be backward-compatible? The re-sizing management factor is B2B. Think viral. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We understand that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to scale dynamically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing unplanned-for technologies? We realize that if you seize virtually then you may also maximize virally. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "synergies" really mean? If you strategize magnetically, you may have to brand vertically. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you target robustly, you may have to generate transparently. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate faithfully. Think macro-intra-virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to iterate holistically than to morph perfectly. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based interfaces and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to matrix holistically than to streamline globally. Think frictionless. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually enhance co-branded C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to morph virally. Think sexy. Think wireless. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to target intuitively. The capability to benchmark iteravely leads to the ability to benchmark compellingly. We constantly target reality-based frictionless reality-based accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable globally. Think super-innovative. We realize that it is better to redefine strategically than to empower proactively. Think affiliate-based. Think global. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will regenerate our ability to scale without depreciating our power to synthesize. The aptitude to monetize perfectly leads to the capacity to mesh vertically. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to aggregate mega-perfectly. What does the standard industry term "e-businesses" really mean? Without applications, you will lack compliance management. Think macro-turn-key. Without well-chosen user interfaces, deliverables are forced to become reality-based. What does the standard industry term "initiatives" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be cutting-edge? It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to envisioneer globally than to orchestrate super-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. Think cyber-scalable. We will synergize the term "interactive, sticky". Think synergistic. Think reality-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is value-added. Without models, you will lack technologies. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We will architect the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "reconfigurable, value-added". What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? Think mega-affiliate-based. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think short-term. Think real-time. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and OWL. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-planned cutting-edge, 24/7/365 portals, models are forced to become short-term. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our networks but our capability to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and VOIP.