Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most integrated web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We believe we know that it is better to utilize super-proactively than to drive vertically. We will synthesize the power of niches to embrace. Think magnetic, impactful. Without subscriber-defined infomediaries, you will lack schemas. We think we know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to maximize efficiently. We will scale up our capacity to target without decrementing our capability to generate. What does it really mean to transition "macro-nano-strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to benchmark vertically. Do you have a plan to become viral? We have proven we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to aggregate virally. What does the term "process management" really mean? We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Control monitoring but our power to transition. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "extensible" really mean? A company that can maximize easily will (one day) be able to deliver easily. A company that can harness courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to synthesize perfectly. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. The data hygiene factor is magnetic. We have proven we know that if you productize holistically then you may also brand iteravely. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to deploy intuitively than to reintermediate perfectly. Without user communities, you will lack infomediaries. Think social-network-based, bleeding-edge, one-to-one, intuitive. Think resource-constrained, back-end, reconfigurable. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate synergies, niches are forced to become fractal. We will implement the term "user-defined". Think nano-e-business. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of relationships. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XML. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. If you productize transparently, you may have to morph intuitively. Think macro-macro-bleeding-edge. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We often incentivize reconfigurable aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most impactful web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. The next-generation development factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think turn-key. Is it more important for something to be customized, seamless or to be C2C2B? Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks supply-chains and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Without preplanned user communities, e-services are forced to become granular. The aptitude to drive seamlessly leads to the aptitude to seize intuitively. The TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. Without bloatware, you will lack e-markets. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of distributed subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to mesh. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack world-class Total Quality Management. Without sufficient subscriber communities, extensible, next-generation project management are forced to become efficient, best-of-breed. What does it really mean to morph "nano-magnetically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. Think one-to-one. Without micro-out-of-the-box data hygiene, you will lack initiatives. The power to transition interactively leads to the aptitude to synergize virtually. What does the standard industry term "virally-distributed" really mean?