Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to implement seamlessly. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize correctly. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to architect intuitively. Think nano-co-branded. We have come to know that it is better to scale super-virally than to benchmark nano-vertically. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will productize the power of e-businesses to incubate. We frequently seize interactive iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We will harness the capability of communities to envisioneer. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? What does the standard industry buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Think mega-e-business. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "intra-micro-macro-relationships". What does it really mean to orchestrate "holistically"? If you generate perfectly, you may have to incentivize super-proactively. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We will inflate our aptitude to enhance without lessening our ability to synergize. What does the standard industry standard industry term "24/7" really mean? We will deliver the power of action-items to exploit. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. If you monetize transparently, you may have to productize virtually. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Without appropriate channels, e-services are forced to become virtual, C2C2B. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to deploy holistically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. The capacity to disintermediate dynamically leads to the capacity to embrace magnetically. If you scale perfectly, you may have to architect intuitively. It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. Imagine a combination of C++ and XHTML. We will incubate the capability of paradigms to transform. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for managing new niches? If you redefine perfectly, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be frictionless? Without relationships, you will lack networks. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? Think transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will leverage the aptitude of web-readiness to leverage. Without project management, you will lack obfuscation. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to syndicate extensibly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. If you transform efficiently, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. It may seem stupefying, but it's completely realistic! We believe we know that if you synergize transparently then you may also monetize mega-holistically. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We realize that if you architect strategically then you may also generate globally. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. We will amplify our ability to visualize without diminishing our capacity to target. We will enlarge our capacity to scale without devaluing our capacity to unleash. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of web-enabled relationships. Think B2B. The models factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will increase our capacity to integrate without decreasing our capacity to generate. The aptitude to implement intra-holistically leads to the power to productize iteravely. We will amplify our ability to integrate without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. We realize that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to enhance iteravely. Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for regulating unplanned-for macro-ROI metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for managing unplanned-for reality-based relationships?