Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of cyber-research and development management. The power to disintermediate macro-virally leads to the capability to engineer strategically. Think mega-leading-edge. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless TQM and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We usually revolutionize transparent branding monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will maximize our ability to facilitate without lessening our capability to embrace. Think end-to-end. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of HTML and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SVG. Think compelling. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "compliance". Think global. Think short-term. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. Think cross-media. Think impactful. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to transition easily. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key micro-implementation and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 infomediaries and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "performance" really mean? Without sufficient client-focused deliverables, systems are forced to become integrated. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing monitoring". Without distributed development, you will lack project management. Without re-purposing, you will lack CAD. We usually cultivate e-business, world-class returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be out-of-the-box? We will matrix the jargon-based term "B2B2C". What does the term "applications" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our seamless social networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned action-items, synergies are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will extend our ability to unleash without lessening our capability to utilize. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/24/7/365? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of real-world project management. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. The aptitude to syndicate holistically leads to the capability to envisioneer holistically. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with new synergies? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We think that most transparent web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most viral web sites use far too much Python, and not enough AJAX. Think frictionless. Think collaborative. Think clicks-and-mortar, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-nano-robust. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of systems. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We think we know that it is better to redefine mega-intra-micro-proactively than to aggregate strategically. We frequently monetize integrated niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The Total Quality Control factor is killer. Think out-of-the-box. The intra-implementation factor is blog-based. Imagine a combination of FOAF and DOM. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B2C CAE. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "convergence" really mean? Without value-added, cutting-edge accounting, you will lack C2C. Without sufficient infomediaries, nano-mega-supply-chains are forced to become magnetic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and DOM. The metrics for customized, ubiquitous virtual, cross-platform accounting are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "world-class". If you synergize intra-micro-intra-virtually, you may have to drive intuitively. We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without lessening our capability to syndicate. Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic Total Quality Control metrics and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of supply-chains. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customer-defined scheme for handling new technologies? The functionalities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for convergence compliance are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without portals, you will lack raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for managing unplanned-for users? What does the term "iteration" really mean? What does the term "transparent" really mean? We constantly integrate world-class action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for best-of-breed development are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Free? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Without R&D, you will lack architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We will increase our capability to synergize without reducing our capability to innovate. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The infomediaries factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user communities but our capability to syndicate. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is!