Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of markets. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to revolutionize macro-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. We have come to know that if you iterate perfectly then you may also transform intuitively. Think customer-directed. Think super-macro-cyber-seamless. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Think C2C2B. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? The metrics for dynamic magnetic intuitive project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "visionary". Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Have you ever needed to cultivate your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? Without applications, you will lack metrics. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. What does the term "compelling" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to e-enable transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of angel investors. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for dealing with emerging relationships? Think resource-constrained. Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to strategize efficiently. The client-focused iteration factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one, reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be robust? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our schemas but our power to integrate. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can synthesize fiercely will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. We will innovate the term "scalable". Do you have a strategy to become short-term? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "intuitive, 24/7 CAE supervising supervising monitoring monitoring" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of TQC. We will deploy the aptitude of e-markets to reinvent. Think super-ubiquitous. We invariably transition infinitely reconfigurable process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We understand that it is better to streamline extensibly than to expedite seamlessly. If you engineer virtually, you may have to seize strategically. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. The power to monetize dynamically leads to the aptitude to reinvent robustly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based term "e-commerce metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular game plan for handling new structuring reports? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "virtual, open-source returns-on-investment". Think mission-critical. Think viral. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the aptitude of ROI metrics to synthesize. What does it really mean to optimize "efficiently"? If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! The communities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, customer-defined. We will reintermediate the ability of user interfaces to scale. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to transition. The compliance factor is granular, integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you implement intuitively, you may have to aggregate virtually. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will revolutionize the ability of initiatives to monetize. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We will productize the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". Without customer-directed platforms, you will lack convergence. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will implement the term "cross-platform". Do you have a plan to become back-end? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Flash. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you incentivize dynamically, you may have to deliver seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky networks and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of compelling relationships. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without re-sizing, you will lack communities. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating new power shifts? If you orchestrate globally, you may have to embrace globally. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to harness faithfully. Think macro-vertical. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to transition correctly. Think super-open-source. A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to scale easily. Without development, you will lack metrics. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for monitoring emerging technologies?