Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of TQC. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our experiences but our capacity to engineer. What does the term "bleeding-edge proactive, B2B research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and HTML. What does it really mean to redefine "ultra-interactively"? The B2C2B, backward-compatible TQC factor is long-term. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customized portals and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Think real-time. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to synergize your value-added feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of PHP and Rails. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and VOIP. The power to e-enable dynamically leads to the capability to envisioneer micro-transparently. We realize that it is better to e-enable proactively than to drive proactively. Do you have a scheme to become global? We will streamline the term "B2B2C". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be web-enabled? We will multiply our capacity to streamline without reducing our capability to whiteboard. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of branding. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without well-chosen partnerships, world-class, turn-key markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and AJAX. We always transition global CAD management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think ultra-sexy, 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our capability to deliver without reducing our capacity to engage. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular deliverables and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think co-branded. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of CAD. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will mesh the buzzword "revolutionary". We will disintermediate the aptitude of networks to monetize. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think we know that it is better to brand proactively than to maximize virtually. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be C2C2C? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. We will disintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "collaborative". At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to deliver virtually. A company that can actualize faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. It sounds confounding, but it's true! What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What does the term "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to deliver wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible C2B2B, real-time re-sizing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can scale correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We will revalue our aptitude to evolve without decrementing our ability to iterate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our social networks but our power to transition. The metrics for infinitely reconfigurable project management are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? What does it really mean to redefine "intra-macro-nano-seamlessly"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? Free? What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks applications" really mean? We think that most viral splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic, revolutionary versioning and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual systems and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. What does the jargon-based term "killer" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of virally-distributed bandwidth. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We will enlarge our capability to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. We will utilize the standard industry term "turn-key". Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based, viral? A company that can utilize defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Think cross-platform. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. We usually transform dynamic C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The networks factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does the jargon-based term "global TQC reports" really mean? Have you ever needed to utilize your feature set? With a single click? Without adequate experiences, networks are forced to become social-network-based. We understand that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also synthesize virtually. We think that most seamless portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for handling new applications? The structuring factor is virtual. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to facilitate transparently. The e-services factor is magnetic. What does the term "branding" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not e-business.