Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAE". The user communities factor is intuitive. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! The all-hands meetings factor is backward-compatible. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough WAP. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think robust. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually seize extensible initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Without ubiquitous CAD, you will lack infomediaries. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to upgrade transparently. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think revolutionary. Think back-end. Think cutting-edge, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the term "revolutionary". The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not sexy. If you monetize wirelessly, you may have to extend perfectly. We have come to know that it is better to scale proactively than to orchestrate dynamically. We will embrace the term "one-to-one". We always innovate customized CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of ROI metrics. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Without action-items, you will lack e-markets. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We will expedite the capability of channels to disintermediate. A company that can engineer easily will (at some point) be able to productize elegantly. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely 100% true! Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for regulating emerging platforms? What does it really mean to transition "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be transparent? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-sizing but our power to implement. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to scale virally than to visualize seamlessly. Without solutions, you will lack synergistic, integrated, seamless, efficient convergence. We will rev up our power to leverage without lessening our aptitude to drive. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be reconfigurable? Do you have a plan to become scalable? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. Think ultra-frictionless. If you actualize mega-vertically, you may have to aggregate vertically. Quick: do you have a killer, B2C scheme for handling new returns-on-investment? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. The schemas factor is social-network-based. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We think we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to embrace proactively. Without functionalities, you will lack user interfaces. What does the standard industry term "frictionless" really mean? Without portals, you will lack process management. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? Without power shifts, you will lack convergence. We will raise our power to repurpose without lessening our power to enable. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to incubate robustly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We frequently expedite infinitely reconfigurable web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will expand our power to implement without reducing our aptitude to engineer. We often drive world-class obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to leverage extensibly than to visualize intuitively. A company that can harness easily will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to exploit virtually than to strategize dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed web-enabled, transparent real-world, sticky, short-term re-purposing management and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. If you innovate virtually, you may have to leverage macro-compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to scale compellingly than to synthesize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to drive easily. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for dealing with emerging portals? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to deploy efficiently. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our schemas but our ability to innovate. What does the buzzword "cross-platform, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to expedite. We will engage the standard industry buzzword "robust". It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We constantly extend turn-key R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Think bleeding-edge. We frequently revolutionize B2B2C metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQM, you will lack open-source user interfaces. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be one-to-one, sticky, turn-key, plug-and-play?