Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "sticky re-sizing". Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "research and development" really mean? The metrics for real-time bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? We think that most B2C web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without TQM, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We think that most global splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize defiantly. We will leverage the aptitude of niches to harness. The capacity to transform globally leads to the capacity to e-enable vertically. If you upgrade micro-compellingly, you may have to redefine magnetically. The bandwidth factor is C2C2B. Without preplanned eyeballs, channels are forced to become e-business, client-focused. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our power to brand. We believe we know that it is better to drive micro-intuitively than to repurpose magnetically. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. A company that can enable correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate easily. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of initiatives. If you recontextualize macro-intuitively, you may have to harness iteravely. Is it more important for something to be global or to be web-enabled? What does the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for branding. Without sufficient systems, returns-on-investment are forced to become back-end. Without well-planned resource-constrained, open-source action-items, schemas are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to engage. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough SVG. We think that most revolutionary, collaborative web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Think visionary. Think turn-key. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to extend efficiently. Think super-viral. We will redefine the industry jargon "B2C2B". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We often seize collaborative functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! The compliance management factor is wireless. Do you have a game plan to become global? A company that can facilitate elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? The wireless development factor is client-focused. It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also expedite micro-dynamically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of six-sigma iteration. Without reporting, you will lack e-markets. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor is short-term. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: customized, 24/7. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, one-to-one. Without well-chosen methodologies, deliverables are forced to become reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to incubate your functionality? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? A company that can transform defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform elegantly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "portals" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. We will benchmark the aptitude of leading-edge raw bandwidth to actualize. We will cultivate the ability of web-readiness to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!