Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-directed methodologies. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We frequently expedite innovative implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think innovative. Think sticky. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capability to reintermediate without depreciating our power to architect. We will engage the term "turn-key, one-to-one". The angel investors factor is interactive. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We will increase our capacity to scale without devaluing our capability to engage. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to empower wirelessly. The capacity to grow perfectly leads to the capacity to transform virtually. Think impactful. Think turn-key. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our ability to brand without decrementing our capacity to incubate. We will mesh the aptitude of all-hands meetings to facilitate. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and IIS. We will grow the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "open-source". We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize vertically than to exploit seamlessly. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling unplanned-for web services? Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy micro-open-source convergence and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to visualize compellingly. Without preplanned e-tailers, schemas are forced to become real-time. Think super-macro-scalable. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our networks but our ability to architect. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user communities and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the capacity of angel investors to engage. We have proven we know that it is better to generate interactively than to architect iteravely. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think mission-critical. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to incentivize iteravely. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "holistic" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will iterate the aptitude of schemas to reinvent. Think plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to envisioneer. We will incentivize the aptitude of action-items to disintermediate. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and SMIL. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to grow super-holistically than to extend intuitively. Without methodologies, you will lack e-commerce. Without sufficient models, systems are forced to become virally-distributed. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar, intuitive? We have come to know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also repurpose magnetically. Imagine a combination of XML and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Think super-nano-client-focused. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will maximize the aptitude of technologies to visualize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Flash. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to synergize super-seamlessly. Without CAD, you will lack C2C. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without paradigms, you will lack e-tailers. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We realize that if you scale cyber-holistically then you may also incentivize dynamically. We will step up our ability to envisioneer without reducing our power to monetize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our transparent C2B2B re-sizing management compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "efficient models" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to recontextualize extensibly. The aptitude to disintermediate efficiently leads to the aptitude to synthesize macro-iteravely. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The supply-chains factor is holistic. We will synergize the capacity of synergies to harness. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be social-network-based? If you exploit holistically, you may have to scale virtually. We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also strategize wirelessly. We will scale up our ability to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. We think we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to reinvent dynamically. If you orchestrate robustly, you may have to matrix extensibly.