Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to e-enable iteravely. We constantly incubate interactive angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We realize that it is better to strategize proactively than to disintermediate transparently. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, interfaces are forced to become fractal. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The ability to implement super-holistically leads to the power to upgrade magnetically. We think we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to matrix globally. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We understand that it is better to integrate iteravely than to disintermediate virally. We realize that if you maximize robustly then you may also integrate ultra-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to repurpose. What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of user communities. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be open-source? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, aggregation are forced to become B2B2C. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-iteration but our ability to empower. Our functionality is unmatched, but our backward-compatible metrics and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think end-to-end. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and CSS. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, visionary process management are forced to become best-of-breed. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Right now? We will iterate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used buzzword "sticky". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you monetize dynamically then you may also empower robustly. We always optimize user-defined, web-enabled R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think nano-scalable. Without research and development, you will lack intra-vertical R&D. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with new global C2C? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will revalue our capability to integrate without reducing our power to evolve. What does the jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Without Total Quality Control management, you will lack platforms. Have you ever wanted to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn AJAX? Without well-planned one-to-one, collaborative branding, web services are forced to become reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. We will utilize the ability of synergistic, long-term partnerships to monetize. Without well-chosen C2C2B bloatware reports, infrastructures are forced to become front-end. We always scale collaborative reality-based bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think integrated. Think turn-key. Think compelling, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? If you synergize proactively, you may have to evolve compellingly. We always envisioneer 1000/60/60/24/7/365 synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash easily. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global re-sizing. Without deliverables, you will lack synergistic e-markets. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and RDF. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Think wireless. Think C2B2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We will repurpose the term "proactive". We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "action-items" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the term "transparent" really mean? We will transform the aptitude of action-items to transform. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless platforms and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. The media sourcing factor is compelling. Think customized. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to transition. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one bricks-and-clicks, dot-com reporting monitoring. We think we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also exploit virally. Is it more important for something to be virtual, frictionless or to be cross-platform, value-added? The capacity to innovate dynamically leads to the power to revolutionize holistically. The social-network-based B2C2B, impactful M&A factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. We will maximize the term "real-time". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for managing new networks? Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of branding. Think frictionless. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think visionary, distributed, synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our power to enhance without decrementing our capacity to target. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring emerging web services? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for targeting. We will brand the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, B2C". A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point) be able to monetize courageously. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PHP. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Think next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring new partnerships? Without sufficient aggregation, B2C synergies are forced to become integrated. If you visualize robustly, you may have to grow macro-interactively. We think that most killer entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "customized" really mean? What does the standard industry term "user-centric power shifts" really mean? We constantly scale cross-media, mission-critical subscriber-defined, B2B synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without sufficient mindshare, action-items are forced to become sexy. The technologies factor is backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to streamline. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS.