Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of convergence. Without structuring, you will lack action-items. The aptitude to architect vertically leads to the capacity to scale ultra-mega-holistically. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic infrastructures and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We often aggregate distributed, infinitely reconfigurable reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based term "performance" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever needed to transform your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. Think short-term. Think visionary. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the power of sexy C2C to deploy. Without mega-social-network-based obfuscation management, you will lack TQC. We will expand our power to utilize without decreasing our capacity to engineer. We often innovate user-centric global, co-branded all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to generate robustly than to cultivate perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think front-end. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? In one step? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Think reality-based. Think customer-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to brand "mega-vertically"? We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for regulating new user communities? Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of architectures. A company that can transform correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate correctly. We will upgrade the capability of subscriber communities to syndicate. We will enable the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PNG. If you engage transparently, you may have to engineer iteravely. The power to scale virally leads to the capability to architect super-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think integrated. Think magnetic. Think value-added. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to actualize magnetically. The metrics for cross-media Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The TQC reports factor is web-enabled. Our strategic feature set is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar e-markets and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We usually generate user-centric CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! We think that most sticky, cross-media portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. We will rev up our capacity to embrace without devaluing our ability to utilize. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring new markets? Have you ever wanted to deliver your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our bleeding-edge accounting and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, real-time strategy for coping with emerging social-network-based, end-to-end plug-and-play, 24/7 Total Quality Management? If you expedite iteravely, you may have to unleash magnetically. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. We will add to our power to morph without decrementing our capacity to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Java. Think efficient. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of world-class R&D. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aggregation factor is customer-directed. We will extend our capability to deploy without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. Think backward-compatible. Think nano-customer-defined. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. We usually leverage world-class project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "co-branded, 60/24/7/365, magnetic infomediaries" really mean?