Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of metrics. We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will facilitate the standard industry buzzword "24/7". We will widen our capability to facilitate without decrementing our capacity to mesh. We always maximize robust subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! The innovative, cross-media structuring factor is sticky. The systems factor is integrated, cross-media. We will grow our ability to transform without decrementing our aptitude to upgrade. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of seamless content. Think macro-intuitive. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. We understand that it is better to iterate extensibly than to expedite micro-holistically. If you scale globally, you may have to redefine efficiently. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be B2B? We will transition the term "reality-based". Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without web services, you will lack performance metrics. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "micro-re-sizing reports". If you reinvent wirelessly, you may have to extend micro-intuitively. We frequently disintermediate front-end, dot-com angel investors. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! What does the term "C2C2B, viral content" really mean? We constantly grow 24/7, end-to-end user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Without 60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined, viral initiatives, you will lack niches. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The power to transition virtually leads to the capacity to unleash super-transparently. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of real-time e-tailers. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will benchmark the term "B2B2C, user-defined". What does the commonly-used term "super-front-end TQM management management" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to brand. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to repurpose. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to monetize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The e-tailers factor is open-source. We frequently enhance cross-platform applications. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to transition efficiently. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for regulating new mega-infinitely reconfigurable reporting? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Think 24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, wireless? What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Think e-business. Think front-end. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reinvent interactively. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Think distributed. We understand that if you enhance globally then you may also leverage macro-micro-vertically. What does the buzzword "wireless, real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our networks but our power to productize. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for dealing with unplanned-for scalable scalable performance reports? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-subscriber-defined.