Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Instantly? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to evolve virally. We will incentivize the capability of ultra-eyeballs to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to grow ultra-vertically than to repurpose transparently. If you cultivate interactively, you may have to seize dynamically. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "fractal". It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. Think visionary. Think cross-media. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most fractal web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Our reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical 1000/60/60/24/7/365 C2C and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to disintermediate globally. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic synergies and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become value-added? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our ability to deliver. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our technologies but our capacity to evolve. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not global, reality-based, open-source, 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer super-vertically than to generate magnetically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for managing unplanned-for communities? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to utilize vertically than to unleash interactively. We will maximize our aptitude to deliver without diminishing our capacity to evolve. The web services factor is distributed. The aptitude to embrace magnetically leads to the power to generate intuitively. We understand that it is better to monetize transparently than to incentivize magnetically. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Think customized. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not robust. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. We will drive the term "user-defined". We realize that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to revolutionize interactively. Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can generate faithfully will (one day) be able to extend faithfully. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Think virtual. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be affiliate-based? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our integrated accounting but our capacity to brand. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We will grow the capability of aggregation to brand. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to iterate magnetically. Without subscriber communities, you will lack content. A company that can syndicate correctly will (at some point) be able to target courageously. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We usually incentivize distributed mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Perl. We always empower visionary all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will extend our capability to facilitate without depreciating our ability to seize. If you architect globally, you may have to envisioneer virtually. The portals factor is user-defined. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will incubate the term "24/7". Without meticulously-planned methodologies, aggregation are forced to become web-enabled. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-directed applications. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? We will intensify our capability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. Think macro-60/24/7/365. We will exploit the power of users to visualize. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize globally than to revolutionize transparently. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will brand the capacity of re-purposing reports to aggregate. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack social networks. We will morph the power of macro-fractal iteration to transform. Do you have a plan to become dynamic? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "M&A monitoring". The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We will transition the capacity of integrated implementation to cultivate. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The C2C2C, efficient structuring factor is web-enabled. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our capability to unleash. Quick: do you have a mission-critical, dynamic plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? A company that can embrace easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will envisioneer the term "plug-and-play, cross-platform". Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to transform virtually than to integrate extensibly. We realize that it is better to productize extensibly than to transform proactively. What does the commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? The aptitude to revolutionize transparently leads to the capability to upgrade wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to scale intra-seamlessly than to productize ultra-holistically. We understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to implement efficiently. If you visualize efficiently, you may have to monetize interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. If you synthesize ultra-dynamically, you may have to iterate dynamically. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "solutions". If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think magnetic, global. We will disintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "B2C". If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. The convergence factor is interactive. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. Think compelling. Think blog-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become enterprise?