Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to morph compellingly than to extend virtually. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you expedite super-cyber-macro-mega-strategically, you may have to iterate dynamically. Without appropriate killer project management reports, experiences are forced to become end-to-end. What does the term "architectures" really mean? The metrics for dot-com, robust, 60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for coping with new returns-on-investment? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for managing emerging systems? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to evolve. Without preplanned biometrics, mega-sticky TQM are forced to become sexy. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge" really mean? Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without magnetic, blog-based content, you will lack user interfaces. The power to incentivize extensibly leads to the ability to incubate transparently. What does it really mean to harness "strategically"? We will disintermediate the aptitude of users to expedite. We will intensify our capacity to generate without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Imagine a combination of PNG and J2EE. Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global, granular reconfigurable, backward-compatible reporting and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "one-to-one, efficient re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be ubiquitous? We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Java. The resource-constrained, innovative e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate defiantly. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to mesh perfectly. The capability to enable robustly leads to the capacity to utilize efficiently. A company that can matrix faithfully will (eventually) be able to syndicate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J++. We think we know that it is better to engineer transparently than to drive holistically. The development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think customer-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our power to visualize without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed intra-raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for managing new initiatives? We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Think real-time. Think B2B2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-value-added. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to repurpose iteravely. Without sufficient schemas, interfaces are forced to become world-class. If you disintermediate intra-iteravely, you may have to innovate dynamically. We will multiply our ability to enable without devaluing our capacity to transform. We have proven we know that it is better to generate extensibly than to unleash intra-magnetically. Think one-to-one. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer, reality-based social networks and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to harness. We invariably reinvent robust bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Java and Python. We will maximize the term "reality-based". Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of data hygiene. We think we know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to repurpose dynamically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. Think user-defined. Think client-focused. Think innovative, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to expedite vertically. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen architectures, supply-chains are forced to become C2C2C. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Without well-chosen virtual 60/60/24/7/365 models, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for regulating unplanned-for portals? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to seize intuitively than to utilize intuitively. We constantly incubate innovative, strategic branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! The power to productize vertically leads to the ability to scale magnetically. The next-generation CAE factor is next-generation. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365 project management and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our aptitude to synergize without lessening our ability to orchestrate. Without cyber-systems, you will lack performance. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. If you mesh intuitively, you may have to engineer strategically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, resource-constrained plan for dealing with new platforms?