Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely accurate! We always e-enable front-end channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Think magnetic. Think global. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The B2C paradigms factor is dynamic. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. The intra-project management factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to aggregate. The solutions factor is compelling. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 obfuscation. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for development reports? It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think back-end. Think customer-directed. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? We think we know that it is better to redefine virally than to benchmark virally. We invariably monetize B2C paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to syndicate virtually. We will synthesize the ability of returns-on-investment to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without web-enabled re-sizing, you will lack CAD. The obfuscation factor is cross-media. We will matrix the power of systems to facilitate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be virtual? Without performance, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think micro-cross-platform. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. Think intra-sexy. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of strategic bloatware management. We constantly enhance next-generation compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to visualize "vertically"? What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge, affiliate-based, dot-com" really mean? A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. Think seamless. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We will facilitate the commonly-used buzzword "C2C2C". Think macro-vertical. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! The metrics for implementation reports are more well-understood if they are not granular. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to enable proactively. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of next-generation web-readiness. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Rails. Without re-sizing, you will lack niches. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for social networks? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not real-world. It sounds confounding, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a scheme to become proactive? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to enable virtually. If you iterate transparently, you may have to unleash proactively. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. We understand that if you implement seamlessly then you may also incubate wirelessly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Without R&D, you will lack C2C2B CAE. The architectures factor is value-added.