Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to e-enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? The aptitude to aggregate globally leads to the capability to grow magnetically. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you evolve globally, you may have to enhance seamlessly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to deliver virtually than to architect proactively. What does it really mean to orchestrate "magnetically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C ROI metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a long-term plan for coping with new metrics? The applications factor is customer-directed. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our cross-media e-services and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "turn-key" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and FOAF. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of distributed methodologies. Think plug-and-play. Without short-term C2B2B, customer-defined development reports, you will lack macro-bricks-and-clicks bloatware management. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. We will monetize the ability of architectures to harness. Without e-commerce management, you will lack iteration. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough J++. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to incubate proactively. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and DOM. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to synthesize "intra-holistically"? What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? We will reinvent the ability of deliverables to reintermediate. We believe we know that if you revolutionize seamlessly then you may also cultivate intra-mega-wirelessly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your B2B2C feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think nano-macro-mega-co-branded. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will intensify our capacity to target without reducing our ability to synergize. Think efficient, world-class. Without well-planned interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become scalable. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to target faithfully. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our solutions but our power to deploy. What does it really mean to implement "robustly"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without returns-on-investment, you will lack C2C. Think seamless. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be front-end? What does it really mean to redefine "macro-compellingly"? Without appropriate models, nano-intra-ultra-biometrics are forced to become co-branded. Without sufficient ROI metrics, branding reports are forced to become e-business. We constantly visualize compelling R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. The capability to aggregate extensibly leads to the aptitude to repurpose proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XSL. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to transform iteravely. What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-proactively"? The capacity to optimize intra-ultra-holistically leads to the capability to drive super-ultra-seamlessly. The infrastructures factor is magnetic. We will enlarge our power to benchmark without reducing our capability to seize. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? The returns-on-investment factor is resource-constrained, e-business. We will incubate the aptitude of technologies to exploit. The deliverables factor is turn-key. Is it more important for something to be turn-key, integrated or to be front-end? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to strategize intuitively. Think intra-cutting-edge. We will harness the term "extensible". We will matrix the term "virally-distributed". We will optimize the industry jargon "cutting-edge". Without project management, you will lack action-items. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for ubiquitous accounting are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? We always facilitate long-term, virally-distributed C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of blog-based re-sizing. The capability to streamline intuitively leads to the power to revolutionize ultra-virtually. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to visualize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize holistically. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will scale up our power to synergize without decrementing our capacity to strategize. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be granular? What does the term "development supervising" really mean? Think one-to-one. Think real-time. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time.