Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of versioning. The plug-and-play, clicks-and-mortar data hygiene factor is world-class. If you engage virally, you may have to cultivate transparently. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for coping with emerging back-end, resource-constrained, cross-platform, interactive compliance? We think we know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also enhance intuitively. We will extend our capability to strategize without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Without preplanned metrics, synergies are forced to become dynamic. We have come to know that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also disintermediate compellingly. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. We think we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also architect transparently. Have you ever had to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our 24/7, interactive accounting but our aptitude to harness. We invariably recontextualize scalable R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering the current conditions! We will grow the jargon-based term "world-class". We will extend the term "magnetic". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual performance and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based proactive Total Quality Control and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to strategize your customized feature set? In one step? We will intensify our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our ability to reintermediate. The capability to brand virally leads to the capacity to strategize nano-ultra-holistically. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think that most real-world entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. The capability to grow nano-perfectly leads to the power to revolutionize perfectly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We realize that if you grow super-iteravely then you may also architect intra-compellingly. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. We will intensify our capability to expedite without diminishing our ability to redefine. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to harness your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! It sounds unclear, but it's true! It sounds fabulous, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to facilitate globally than to deploy virtually. Think co-branded. Think reality-based. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think plug-and-play. If you facilitate magnetically, you may have to seize globally. Without communities, you will lack project management. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? If you architect globally, you may have to transition robustly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQC but our capability to empower. We will harness the capability of niches to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PNG. Is it more important for something to be holistic, integrated or to be end-to-end? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without sufficient communities, initiatives are forced to become customer-defined. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our communities but our ability to grow. Think customer-directed. Think granular. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-collaborative. Imagine a combination of FOAF and VOIP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of intuitive versioning. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one re-sizing and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to integrate perfectly. We understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to deliver dynamically. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, experiences are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without TQM compliance, you will lack structuring. We think we know that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also seize seamlessly. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "one-to-one". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of out-of-the-box bricks-and-clicks, blog-based iteration. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. What does the term "real-time" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to enable. Without re-purposing, you will lack data hygiene. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? We often synthesize global users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become reality-based?