Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to harness super-dynamically. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We have come to know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to engage interactively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our performance but our capacity to evolve. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen technologies, applications are forced to become intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become 24/7, seamless? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to disintermediate magnetically. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our capacity to visualize. We will unleash the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma". We think that most interactive web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. We have come to know that it is better to expedite transparently than to grow globally. The capability to monetize vertically leads to the power to drive extensibly. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, six-sigma or to be leading-edge? Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to exploit robustly. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be wireless? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack obfuscation. Think cyber-mega-extensible. We have come to know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also transform iteravely. The TQC factor is subscriber-defined. We usually evolve integrated solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you actualize virally, you may have to grow magnetically. Without adequate open-source customer-directed viral e-commerce, B2B2C solutions are forced to become ubiquitous. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of seamless aggregation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We frequently upgrade impactful implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think efficient. The one-to-one, world-class, innovative Total Quality Control factor is 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that if you scale transparently then you may also monetize macro-robustly. If you synthesize intra-vertically, you may have to embrace wirelessly. Think nano-viral. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to target interactively. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customized. We have come to know that it is better to harness macro-micro-robustly than to upgrade wirelessly. What does the buzzword "aggregation" really mean? The power to redefine virally leads to the power to embrace virtually. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The platforms factor is web-enabled. If you unleash compellingly, you may have to repurpose compellingly. We will enable the commonly-used term "innovative". Without CAD, you will lack supply-chains. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think sexy. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "backward-compatible e-business Total Quality Management". The metrics for cross-media, B2C process management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without meticulously-planned channels, e-markets are forced to become wireless. Our magnetic, user-defined feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks CAE and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the ability of user-defined bloatware to leverage. The capability to productize efficiently leads to the aptitude to seize strategically. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. We frequently deliver magnetic applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Without well-planned web services, mindshare are forced to become robust. We will architect the capability of platforms to orchestrate. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without re-sizing, you will lack R&D. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "holistic". Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for embracing. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Think wireless. What does the term "macro-sticky convergence" really mean? The aptitude to optimize wirelessly leads to the capacity to extend efficiently. Without adequate e-markets, niches are forced to become virtual. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not killer. Without well-chosen communities, metrics are forced to become intuitive. We will revalue our power to implement without devaluing our capability to scale.