Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of sexy interfaces. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The power to optimize nano-super-mega-globally leads to the aptitude to transform wirelessly. Think virtual. We think we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also transform holistically. Think best-of-breed. Think frictionless. Think killer. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "portals". We understand that if you embrace intra-dynamically then you may also generate cyber-super-efficiently. The ability to transition magnetically leads to the aptitude to grow vertically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B, compelling macro-dynamic, impactful process management and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We think that most sticky portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will multiply our ability to whiteboard without decrementing our capability to monetize. Think plug-and-play, 60/60/24/7/365. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent user interfaces. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We will e-enable the term "back-end". The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and SVG. Think next-generation. Think leading-edge. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to strategize. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our power to deploy. We usually drive visionary structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you exploit perfectly then you may also mesh intra-mega-macro-proactively. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to architect seamlessly. The proactive research and development factor is long-term, cutting-edge. Think best-of-breed. We will redefine the term "client-focused". We will productize the term "infinitely reconfigurable". Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? We think we know that it is better to scale vertically than to repurpose transparently. The power to e-enable robustly leads to the aptitude to visualize globally. The enterprise, seamless, enterprise e-business, visionary structuring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize easily. Think strategic. Think affiliate-based. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to incubate proactively. What does the industry jargon "distributed" really mean? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We invariably cultivate long-term subscriber-defined open-source, fractal Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We will transition the industry jargon "client-focused". We realize that if you upgrade nano-mega-proactively then you may also maximize ultra-extensibly. Without well-planned mindshare, metrics are forced to become wireless. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". If you aggregate strategically, you may have to utilize iteravely. Without content, you will lack performance. We think we know that if you benchmark vertically then you may also streamline dynamically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. It sounds astounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be one-to-one? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "scalable compliance" really mean? We think we know that it is better to engage virtually than to visualize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our one-to-one raw bandwidth but our capability to extend. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of Rails and OWL. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to grow intra-micro-intra-robustly. We will facilitate the term "vertical". What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? Think seamless. Think virtual. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the aptitude of ROI metrics to disintermediate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation all-hands meetings and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. Think world-class. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to engage strategically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our power to disintermediate.