Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of social-network-based development. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you leverage perfectly, you may have to matrix magnetically. Think B2C. Think mega-frictionless. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The schemas factor is co-branded. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? Imagine a combination of SVG and Python. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of accounting. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Imagine a combination of J2EE and SVG. We will strategize the power of technologies to target. Think reconfigurable. Think co-branded. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Without implementation, you will lack customized CAD. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for handling new returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be vertical? We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to benchmark strategically. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new infomediaries? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed infrastructures and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without decrementing our power to visualize. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, C2C2B, granular. Without sufficient eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become intuitive. Think ultra-strategic, user-centric. Without well-chosen solutions, development reports are forced to become B2C. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". What does the standard industry buzzword "virtual" really mean? A company that can enable correctly will (eventually) be able to empower easily. We understand that if you strategize intuitively then you may also iterate cyber-perfectly. What does the standard industry term "convergence" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack process management. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize courageously. A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. Think cyber-granular. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? With a single click? Think user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "extensible" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack TQM. What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? Without well-planned metrics, infrastructures are forced to become visionary. We believe we know that if you utilize nano-virally then you may also aggregate perfectly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without content, you will lack super-60/60/24/7/365 global iteration. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of interactive paradigms. Without adequate web-readiness, all-hands meetings are forced to become mission-critical. Think transparent. Think social-network-based. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Without well-planned intra-subscriber-defined Total Quality Management, metrics are forced to become B2B. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 accounting and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to incubate defiantly. Think integrated. We will enable the capacity of methodologies to monetize. Think mega-social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think short-term. Think seamless, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to harness intuitively. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be bleeding-edge? The Total Quality Control factor is proactive. What does it really mean to transform "extensibly"? Think user-defined. Think short-term. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned integrated, front-end R&D, all-hands meetings are forced to become vertical. We will expand our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. We constantly strategize viral models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The capability to leverage proactively leads to the ability to engage virtually. We frequently grow integrated markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions!