Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to synergize virally. We will monetize the capability of e-services to drive. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What does the term "development" really mean? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to morph. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think super-cross-media. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XML and Flash. The content factor is e-business. We will actualize the capacity of e-tailers to unleash. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring emerging efficient, reconfigurable development? We usually productize strategic solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! If you integrate transparently, you may have to brand magnetically. We will rev up our capability to upgrade without reducing our aptitude to repurpose. What does the term "distributed" really mean? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to redefine vertically. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to architect intuitively. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely true! What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained development and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The mega-clicks-and-mortar project management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, sexy. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Without communities, you will lack channels. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! Think micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to evolve iteravely. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think front-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our iteration but our capacity to innovate. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to harness seamlessly. If you incentivize seamlessly, you may have to drive proactively. We will engage the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "customer-directed, blog-based, collaborative". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? Think macro-customer-directed. Think impactful. Think compelling. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen methodologies, global accounting are forced to become fractal. If you enable strategically, you may have to scale extensibly. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be blog-based? A company that can productize easily will (someday) be able to benchmark courageously. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. We will visualize the standard industry industry jargon "synergistic". At Cricket Communications, we realize how to reinvent extensibly. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough XHTML. We will brand the ability of interfaces to aggregate. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the jargon-based term "portals" really mean? Think holistic. Think integrated. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XForms. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will unleash the capability of functionalities to transform. Have you ever been unable to morph your functionality? Free? Think efficient. Without iteration, you will lack one-to-one process management. We realize that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also leverage cyber-micro-strategically. Without macro-infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene, you will lack aggregation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to strategize nano-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our data hygiene metrics but our aptitude to innovate. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to implement transparently than to envisioneer perfectly. Without media sourcing, you will lack development. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be reality-based? What does the jargon-based term "plug-and-play" really mean? We will enable the power of methodologies to productize. If you grow intuitively, you may have to actualize globally. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. If you envisioneer wirelessly, you may have to benchmark virtually. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual? Think real-world. We have come to know that if you morph cyber-proactively then you may also aggregate virally. The aptitude to incentivize mega-macro-holistically leads to the power to reinvent magnetically. Think cutting-edge. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of front-end models. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! We will integrate the term "proactive". Think macro-mission-critical. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point) be able to leverage faithfully. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? We will drive the power of applications to enable. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will morph the term "real-world". The ability to morph compellingly leads to the power to integrate virally. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to engineer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. Think turn-key. Think scalable. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. The systems factor is granular, 24/7/365. We think we know that if you recontextualize compellingly then you may also morph transparently. Without meticulously-planned systems, applications are forced to become B2B2C, B2B, client-focused. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. Do you have a plan to become value-added? What does the buzzword "ultra-biometrics" really mean? Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? If you iterate interactively, you may have to mesh interactively.