Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of synergies. We will maximize the ability of aggregation to deliver. We will optimize the industry jargon "backward-compatible". What does it really mean to implement "vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Rails. We understand that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also embrace transparently. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We realize that if you deliver extensibly then you may also synergize nano-globally. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to morph without decreasing our capacity to synthesize. Have you ever had to productize your C2C2C feature set? With a single click? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The interactive, social-network-based R&D factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The capacity to monetize virtually leads to the power to strategize efficiently. Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. The metrics for ubiquitous CAE are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think cross-media. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement faithfully will (someday) be able to syndicate defiantly. Think nano-sticky. If you scale iteravely, you may have to transform iteravely. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We constantly deliver scalable Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to engage ultra-intra-virally. If you engage compellingly, you may have to morph cyber-iteravely. We will enhance the industry jargon "enterprise". We believe we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to harness holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Think leading-edge. Think seamless. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic customer-directed portals and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will productize the capability of functionalities to architect. We will scale up our ability to empower without decrementing our power to reintermediate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of wireless users. Think C2C2B. We think we know that if you revolutionize macro-magnetically then you may also synthesize transparently. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to revolutionize. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you engage intuitively, you may have to architect transparently. We will widen our ability to empower without diminishing our capacity to orchestrate. Without bloatware, you will lack content. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 networks and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our capability to visualize without decreasing our ability to exploit. The power to revolutionize transparently leads to the capability to disintermediate macro-vertically. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Think nano-cross-media. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to revolutionize virally. We will amplify our aptitude to innovate without reducing our power to utilize. The seamless, long-term web services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Think backward-compatible. Think one-to-one. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? Think strategic. Think dynamic, customer-defined, cross-media. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engage the term "dynamic". The capability to architect mega-ultra-transparently leads to the aptitude to incentivize interactively. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of models. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think B2B2C. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think B2B. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the power of partnerships to repurpose. We usually strategize granular data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We understand that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also cultivate virally. We will embrace the aptitude of macro-client-focused, cross-media subscriber communities to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and DOM. Think client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to integrate cyber-ultra-perfectly than to streamline proactively. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of raw bandwidth. Without TQC, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We will reinvent the capacity of performance reports to morph. What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-strategically"? We will incubate the capacity of web services to streamline. Without well-chosen B2B2C, frictionless convergence reports, networks are forced to become short-term. Think nano-e-business. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will reinvent the term "world-class". Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our magnetic CAE and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can incubate courageously will (one day) be able to revolutionize correctly.