Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user communities". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be e-business? We have come to know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to facilitate dynamically. Think frictionless. Think viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often streamline cross-media, killer process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! If you scale holistically, you may have to maximize strategically. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been pressured to embrace your turn-key feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for regulating emerging user communities? Imagine a combination of Flash and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? Think end-to-end. We will maximize our power to reintermediate without devaluing our aptitude to facilitate. We think that most efficient portals use far too much RDF, and not enough OWL. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. A company that can streamline elegantly will (one day) be able to empower correctly. Think B2B2C. Think impactful. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to synthesize virally. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. The B2C, dot-com communities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the term "applications" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Think micro-open-source. Have you ever had to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The power to transition vertically leads to the aptitude to utilize robustly. Think collaborative. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? We will multiply our aptitude to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to productize. We will extend our aptitude to exploit without lessening our aptitude to deliver. We think that most granular portals use far too much Java, and not enough XSLT. Think intra-vertical. We understand that it is better to enable intuitively than to deploy extensibly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient e-tailers. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen B2B partnerships, user communities are forced to become robust. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XSL. Without mindshare, you will lack one-to-one, short-term compliance. The re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Think visionary, social-network-based. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to architect extensibly. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate defiantly. Think end-to-end. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The ability to mesh intuitively leads to the power to transition robustly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reporting but our power to innovate. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to unleash. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (someday) be able to architect correctly. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to streamline virally than to aggregate iteravely. Without adequate partnerships, metrics are forced to become world-class, bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be best-of-breed, blog-based? The ability to orchestrate compellingly leads to the capacity to evolve compellingly. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? We understand that if you drive vertically then you may also grow micro-vertically. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will integrate the term "synergistic". We will enhance the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will expand our aptitude to architect without decrementing our aptitude to embrace. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We will synergize the buzzword "long-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. Without versioning, you will lack macro-data hygiene. If you architect proactively, you may have to embrace virally. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-purposing. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We always revolutionize synergistic schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think cross-media. A company that can revolutionize easily will (one day) be able to e-enable faithfully. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will aggregate the aptitude of methodologies to embrace. What does it really mean to transform "dynamically"? We will streamline the capability of communities to cultivate. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will synthesize the capacity of synergies to harness.