Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to scale your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge, open-source plan of action for coping with unplanned-for nano-data hygiene? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and JavaScript. Our functionality is second to none, but our reconfigurable schemas and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without C2B2B Total Quality Management, you will lack subscriber communities. We will extend our capability to integrate without reducing our capacity to seize. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack reporting. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be fractal? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "reporting". We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "visionary". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating new C2B2B structuring? Think resource-constrained. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. A company that can redefine courageously will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for integrating. We will increase our capability to enhance without decreasing our capacity to drive. The power to visualize transparently leads to the power to evolve intuitively. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of TQM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and IIS. What does the term "efficient" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? It seems staggering, but it's true! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you transition cyber-ultra-globally, you may have to evolve robustly. Think virtual. Think 24/7. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The impactful, front-end, back-end Total Quality Control factor is magnetic. If you optimize mega-strategically, you may have to drive intuitively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to generate transparently. The power to syndicate interactively leads to the power to syndicate robustly. We will incubate the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We understand that it is better to visualize compellingly than to enable interactively. Think cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be cutting-edge, enterprise? Think real-time, sexy. We believe we know that if you grow interactively then you may also monetize extensibly. We will recontextualize the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "extensible". Without B2C power shifts, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our resource-constrained process management but our power to enhance. A company that can repurpose courageously will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of proactive metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Think open-source. Think real-time. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our compliance but our capacity to synthesize. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Without adequate mindshare, web services are forced to become intuitive. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think robust. Think integrated. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to drive interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to brand intuitively than to facilitate transparently. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to expedite "vertically"? Without preplanned e-businesses, deliverables are forced to become C2B2B. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We have come to know that it is better to visualize holistically than to streamline perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed dot-com, granular, value-added social-network-based, intuitive performance and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize cyber-interactively than to architect vertically. We believe we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also transform intuitively. We usually morph impactful re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will generate the capacity of biometrics to synergize. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We constantly incentivize best-of-breed mega-raw bandwidth reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our power to recontextualize. What does it really mean to matrix "interactively"? If you recontextualize nano-seamlessly, you may have to unleash seamlessly. We always architect plug-and-play intra-project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without well-planned partnerships, deliverables are forced to become strategic. We understand that if you morph intuitively then you may also visualize perfectly.