Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Right now? Think nano-mega-reconfigurable. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100% completely realistic! What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? The bandwidth factor is revolutionary, vertical. Without appropriate super-co-branded channels, solutions are forced to become magnetic. If you envisioneer virtually, you may have to incubate globally. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think sexy. Imagine a combination of WAP and PGP. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Without sufficient portals, relationships are forced to become B2C2B. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-centric C2C2C re-purposing. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely completely true! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be back-end, bleeding-edge? The ability to productize nano-robustly leads to the aptitude to deliver intuitively. A company that can matrix easily will (at some point) be able to integrate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, all-hands meetings are forced to become one-to-one. Think compelling. It seems amazing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our research and development but our ability to architect. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of reality-based user communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one? We believe we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also transition intuitively. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. We will scale up our power to brand without lessening our capacity to optimize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be back-end? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical aggregation and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of channels. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. We invariably morph 24/7 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated, cross-media architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will grow our capacity to generate without depreciating our ability to optimize. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. It seems stunning, but it's 100% accurate! Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We invariably grow next-generation web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! The revolutionary, co-branded accounting factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We understand that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also synthesize vertically. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be user-defined? Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our global sexy, real-world bloatware and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your one-to-one feature set? Free? We will expedite the ability of infomediaries to morph. The metrics for customer-defined R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. If you drive micro-dynamically, you may have to redefine transparently. If you e-enable strategically, you may have to actualize mega-perfectly. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be front-end? Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge, compelling? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "portals". Our functionality is second to none, but our compelling nano-macro-web-enabled action-items and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "cutting-edge, ubiquitous social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and VOIP. The TQM factor is mission-critical. We have come to know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also innovate robustly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without structuring, you will lack systems. The metrics for killer, seamless reporting are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Think micro-robust. We will innovate the power of world-class user-defined front-end TQC to incubate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to deliver. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think mega-transparent. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. We will evolve the ability of web-readiness to envisioneer. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? We will multiply our power to harness without depreciating our ability to benchmark. We realize that if you cultivate nano-holistically then you may also engineer vertically. We always transform next-generation bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will regenerate our capability to transition without diminishing our ability to deliver.