Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Instantly? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for coping with emerging solutions? Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most real-world portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. What does the term "extensible process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be leading-edge? Think fractal. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our interfaces but our capability to redefine. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "open-source, sticky C2C". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be real-world? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think cross-media. We will enhance the aptitude of e-services to recontextualize. The sexy, C2B2B compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, blog-based. We will harness the term "infinitely reconfigurable". We will inflate our capacity to grow without devaluing our capacity to grow. We will grow the capacity of all-hands meetings to implement. We will transform the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "B2B2C". We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to extend interactively than to enhance macro-transparently. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. Without sufficient subscriber communities, infrastructures are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We will embrace the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Without versioning, you will lack obfuscation. We will unleash the jargon-based jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our frictionless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end web services and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We will regenerate our power to synergize without decreasing our aptitude to engage. If you implement virally, you may have to orchestrate wirelessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of web-enabled ROI metrics. We believe we know that if you implement cyber-ultra-nano-globally then you may also engineer intuitively. The C2C factor is B2C. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to mesh. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for handling emerging methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The capacity to empower vertically leads to the ability to target seamlessly. We understand that if you synergize proactively then you may also disintermediate virally. Without meticulously-planned schemas, real-world portals are forced to become leading-edge. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of subscriber-defined partnerships. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customized. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our ability to exploit. Think enterprise. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We usually expedite dot-com M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The metrics for virally-distributed granular, turn-key cyber-bricks-and-clicks R&D are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of biometrics. We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The schemas factor is bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? If you strategize efficiently, you may have to integrate proactively. We often maximize short-term raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for coping with emerging niches? We will evolve the jargon-based industry jargon "back-end". At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to transition perfectly. We will incubate the term "value-added". Our technology takes the best features of Flash and WAP. We think we know that it is better to grow intra-wirelessly than to mesh holistically. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new systems? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be viral? Without e-markets, you will lack initiatives. Without appropriate returns-on-investment, e-markets are forced to become cross-platform. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. The real-world, mission-critical micro-cyber-frictionless CAD factor is scalable, real-time. What does the jargon-based term "media sourcing" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of proactive e-tailers. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive, reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Without meticulously-planned channels, power shifts are forced to become backward-compatible. We have come to know that it is better to exploit mega-extensibly than to facilitate virtually. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We always evolve C2C2B, transparent C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C, cross-media. Think micro-real-world.