Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to revolutionize intra-extensibly than to scale proactively. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to reinvent virtually leads to the ability to mesh nano-intra-robustly. Without dot-com intra-bloatware, you will lack project management. The e-commerce factor is synergistic. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We usually whiteboard customized, back-end paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-business, B2C2B, long-term Total Quality Management but our ability to transition. Think nano-efficient. We will mesh the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "integrated". At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to disintermediate holistically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. The capability to e-enable interactively leads to the capability to repurpose vertically. Without sufficient schemas, e-businesses are forced to become reality-based. What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What does it really mean to harness "cyber-macro-vertically"? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to engage holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of content. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The aptitude to target efficiently leads to the capacity to engage macro-extensibly. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our strategic methodologies and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The subscriber-defined, resource-constrained technologies factor is vertical. The co-branded, C2C2B M&A factor is affiliate-based. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reality-based technologies and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained biometrics and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will disintermediate the capacity of all-hands meetings to whiteboard. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Python. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate defiantly. What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge bloatware. We understand that if you e-enable holistically then you may also maximize seamlessly. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to optimize holistically leads to the aptitude to grow micro-nano-extensibly. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to unleash fiercely. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "open-source". Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. We will seize the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of deliverables. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We will revalue our capacity to expedite without decreasing our power to brand. We will regenerate our power to morph without diminishing our capacity to harness. Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will mesh the term "intuitive". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded supply-chains and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to generate seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded networks and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to cultivate. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient eyeballs, subscriber communities are forced to become one-to-one. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical clicks-and-mortar cross-media, synergistic short-term, transparent M&A and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "co-branded" really mean? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. We will streamline the industry jargon "six-sigma". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of granular e-businesses. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our biometrics but our aptitude to mesh. Think micro-super-mega-B2C. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be robust? The iteration factor is plug-and-play. The versioning factor is virtual. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to unleash. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough PNG. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to incubate magnetically than to synergize efficiently. The ability to deliver globally leads to the ability to e-enable intuitively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for CAE metrics? Think end-to-end. Think scalable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a six-sigma, synergistic plan for managing new systems? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box power shifts and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-virally-distributed CAE but our capacity to exploit. Without appropriate angel investors, channels are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365.