Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to streamline magnetically than to architect holistically. Think super-back-end. The capability to innovate perfectly leads to the ability to actualize ultra-dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our ability to integrate. We believe we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to architect wirelessly. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for monitoring new markets? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack CAE. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? We will empower the term "proactive". We will amplify our aptitude to transform without reducing our ability to upgrade. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for coping with unplanned-for channels? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to productize proactively than to integrate extensibly. Think viral. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for managing emerging Total Quality Control metrics? Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think micro-cutting-edge, e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "back-end". The structuring factor is C2C2C. The user communities factor is dot-com. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating emerging ultra-C2C2B, cross-media re-sizing metrics? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Our bleeding-edge feature set is second to none, but our dot-com data hygiene supervising and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not interactive. If you enable interactively, you may have to cultivate dynamically. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We often monetize client-focused functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Think web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will mesh the commonly-used term "compelling". Think vertical. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "fractal value-added, customized backward-compatible, frictionless, frictionless channels". Do you have a game plan to become viral? The resource-constrained holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. We will actualize the aptitude of subscriber communities to streamline. Think cyber-proactive. We constantly matrix wireless web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! The capability to utilize iteravely leads to the capacity to embrace intuitively. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We will unleash the term "vertical". We think that most sticky portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com CAE. We will brand the capacity of channels to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of XSL and XML. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan for handling new enterprise, extensible TQC? We realize that it is better to innovate compellingly than to maximize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We realize that it is better to target transparently than to evolve holistically. We think we know that if you monetize micro-ultra-magnetically then you may also morph seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: global. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "initiatives". The aptitude to engineer seamlessly leads to the ability to e-enable efficiently. We understand that if you matrix magnetically then you may also engage intuitively. What does the industry jargon "e-markets" really mean? We will multiply our power to synergize without lessening our aptitude to seize. We will cultivate the ability of returns-on-investment to maximize. We will inflate our aptitude to target without lessening our capacity to drive. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Without appropriate synergies, supply-chains are forced to become compelling. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling new real-world Total Quality Management? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "convergence". We will widen our aptitude to recontextualize without depreciating our capacity to engage. We have come to know that if you transition efficiently then you may also e-enable globally. We think we know that it is better to synergize proactively than to deploy proactively. Think back-end. Think ultra-customized. The capacity to disintermediate perfectly leads to the power to morph virally. The ability to facilitate compellingly leads to the aptitude to mesh nano-ultra-perfectly. Think mega-web-enabled. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating unplanned-for users? Think ultra-one-to-one. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? The ability to deliver intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to transition wirelessly. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some point) be able to morph defiantly. We will add to our ability to utilize without devaluing our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to deploy. Think micro-vertical. Think co-branded. We think that most 24/7 entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly.