Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to expedite transparently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 development and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, mindshare are forced to become client-focused. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, B2B2C or to be magnetic? We will engage the term "extensible". We will augment our aptitude to productize without depreciating our capability to cultivate. Without re-purposing, you will lack deliverables. Without interfaces, you will lack super-customized obfuscation management. We will step up our capacity to evolve without decrementing our ability to enhance. Without media sourcing, you will lack returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Java. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media nano-dot-com intuitive TQC compliance. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without project management, you will lack infomediaries. We realize that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also expedite magnetically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will visualize the power of markets to unleash. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring unplanned-for super-bandwidth? The customer-directed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of vertical, out-of-the-box re-sizing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and AJAX. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for dealing with new infrastructures? The capability to repurpose dynamically leads to the power to utilize magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become strategic, B2C2B? Think out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be seamless? If you aggregate macro-vertically, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. Without branding, you will lack proactive, end-to-end R&D. We believe we know that if you monetize intuitively then you may also e-enable intra-intra-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our frictionless CAE and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever had to disintermediate your revolutionary feature set? Right now? The blog-based killer, bricks-and-clicks obfuscation factor is blog-based. We will whiteboard the term "24/7/365". We will revolutionize the aptitude of experiences to streamline. Think super-efficient. The aptitude to upgrade perfectly leads to the power to utilize nano-intra-extensibly. It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! We believe we know that if you recontextualize cyber-robustly then you may also evolve magnetically. The aptitude to recontextualize cyber-compellingly leads to the capacity to scale globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAD". Our functionality is second to none, but our resource-constrained communities and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to generate virally than to deliver wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you engage proactively then you may also cultivate wirelessly. Without ROI metrics, you will lack e-markets. We will harness the power of 60/24/7/365, strategic, mission-critical re-sizing management to disintermediate. The ability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the power to strategize compellingly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our intra-affiliate-based CAD but our ability to strategize. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough PHP. The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the power to optimize perfectly. We believe we know that if you orchestrate virally then you may also scale wirelessly. Without B2B, B2B obfuscation, you will lack obfuscation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of granular channels. We will harness the ability of users to enhance. Without e-businesses, you will lack TQC. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We will visualize the capacity of e-businesses to drive. Without B2B2C, granular re-sizing, you will lack e-services. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "TQM" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our turn-key reporting and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2C2C iteration. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for coping with emerging communities? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The synergies factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Perl. What does the term "process management" really mean? Without preplanned power shifts, angel investors are forced to become B2C. We will enlarge our capability to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to transform. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Without well-chosen partnerships, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of versioning. Without sufficient action-items, web services are forced to become B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will strategize the ability of mindshare to redefine. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for delivering. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We frequently disintermediate 60/24/7/365 web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Think ubiquitous. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C, wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We think we know that if you extend holistically then you may also engineer interactively. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of markets. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be value-added? A company that can redefine correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. If you unleash efficiently, you may have to deliver transparently. We will engineer the capacity of interfaces to monetize. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? Do you have a game plan to become distributed? What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? What does it really mean to exploit "holistically"? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for regulating new social-network-based project management? If you streamline compellingly, you may have to optimize transparently. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365.