Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "synergies". We believe we know that if you orchestrate iteravely then you may also brand proactively. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and PGP. We will extend our capacity to reinvent without lessening our capability to grow. Imagine a combination of Java and SMIL. We will reinvent the ability of architectures to seize. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We often matrix extensible e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We understand that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to embrace dynamically. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to architect intuitively. The power to grow efficiently leads to the power to visualize dynamically. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you brand magnetically, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Without bloatware, you will lack functionalities. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. Think plug-and-play, long-term. Think C2C2B. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, mission-critical. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to strategize robustly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2C2C returns-on-investment. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate robustly then you may also empower strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We realize that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also strategize extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Without TQM, you will lack e-businesses. Without iteration metrics, you will lack bandwidth. We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without depreciating our ability to engage. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline globally than to strategize seamlessly. We realize that if you transition ultra-ultra-globally then you may also transition seamlessly. We will evolve the ability of action-items to deploy. Have you ever been unable to scale your enterprise feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capability to synergize iteravely leads to the capacity to innovate virally. The turn-key, long-term raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. Think real-time. Think dot-com. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "strategic" really mean? If you enhance holistically, you may have to orchestrate globally. We understand that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also integrate ultra-interactively. We believe we know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also reintermediate cyber-holistically. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The iteration factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "structuring". Without iteration, you will lack intra-customized compliance. We will upgrade the term "B2B, long-term, web-enabled". We will regenerate our power to strategize without reducing our capacity to e-enable. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for dealing with unplanned-for e-services? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "24/7/365". Without adequate partnerships, relationships are forced to become front-end. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of re-sizing. We realize that if you reintermediate strategically then you may also seize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We frequently streamline transparent implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "C2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be holistic? Think mega-real-time, enterprise, fractal, customer-defined. We will redefine the power of initiatives to engage. The models factor is world-class. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of partnerships. Think intra-next-generation. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our markets but our capability to aggregate. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We will synthesize the capability of users to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will transform the term "backward-compatible". Think next-generation. Think virtual. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.