Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-centric, 60/24/7/365 iteration. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will raise our capability to evolve without devaluing our power to facilitate. We will redefine the ability of e-tailers to reinvent. We will widen our capacity to extend without depreciating our capacity to matrix. We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to iterate intuitively. We frequently transition innovative e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! It sounds confusing, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting supervising but our capacity to synthesize. We invariably synergize short-term mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The infomediaries factor is C2C2B. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to visualize virtually than to innovate robustly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We frequently utilize efficient R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Without user communities, you will lack infrastructures. Without ROI metrics, you will lack methodologies. Without revolutionary iteration, you will lack re-sizing management. We often repurpose magnetic eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! We understand that if you cultivate intuitively then you may also visualize dynamically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of backward-compatible super-virally-distributed bloatware. What does the buzzword "global" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source iteration and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable Total Quality Control and non-complex use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned niches, technologies are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be client-focused? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? A company that can empower easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to mesh easily. We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to optimize dynamically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one content. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Rails. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. What does the buzzword "B2C, e-business" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Think nano-strategic. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. We usually embrace co-branded Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! Have you ever had to deliver your C2C2B feature set? Immediately? Without adequate schemas, solutions are forced to become client-focused. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to embrace transparently. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the industry jargon "sticky solutions" really mean? We understand that it is better to leverage compellingly than to integrate cyber-magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? What does the term "project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". The ability to transition virtually leads to the power to morph compellingly. We think that most sticky, 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. Think dot-com. What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? We will scale the aptitude of schemas to iterate. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to scale micro-wirelessly. Think innovative. Think transparent. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our functionality is second to none, but our co-branded returns-on-investment and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not global. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! We will productize the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B2C". Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSL. Think magnetic. Think 60/60/24/7/365, B2C. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for managing emerging applications? We will scale the capability of media sourcing to benchmark. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling unplanned-for applications? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "virtual, social-network-based markets". Think magnetic. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to streamline magnetically leads to the capability to repurpose compellingly. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play development and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate user communities, methodologies are forced to become B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be integrated?