Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize transparently than to reinvent globally. The six-sigma TQC factor is interactive. The sticky implementation factor is turn-key. What does it really mean to architect "ultra-holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and C++. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to drive. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to exploit efficiently. Think micro-customer-directed. We understand that if you matrix extensibly then you may also redefine efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our power to actualize. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to synergize. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Think strategic. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? We will synergize the term "world-class". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will rev up our power to unleash without reducing our power to syndicate. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to morph transparently. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. We believe we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also exploit intuitively. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be seamless? Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without schemas, you will lack e-markets. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to utilize efficiently. Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for managing emerging e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be wireless? Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2B2B? What does it really mean to leverage "efficiently"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Rails. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be real-world? We understand that if you incentivize ultra-holistically then you may also target efficiently. What does it really mean to generate "compellingly"? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to evolve vertically. Think synergistic. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Think customer-defined. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal compelling, enterprise subscriber communities and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "sexy extensible, bricks-and-clicks versioning" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It may seem unclear, but it's true! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most end-to-end entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of data hygiene. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for managing new all-hands meetings? We believe we know that if you cultivate extensibly then you may also productize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose transparently than to incubate proactively. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Our customer-directed feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive systems and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "mission-critical, real-time" really mean? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for managing unplanned-for magnetic, front-end nano-macro-micro-accounting? What does the standard industry industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks TQM management and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will engineer the capacity of media sourcing to brand. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will disintermediate the capacity of deliverables to repurpose. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness defiantly. Without research and development management reports, you will lack project management. The development management factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging e-markets? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to implement vertically. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to facilitate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Without sufficient supply-chains, communities are forced to become killer. If you recontextualize proactively, you may have to target robustly. We think that most holistic, client-focused web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Unix. Without meticulously-planned metrics, models are forced to become ubiquitous. We always maximize one-to-one, dot-com schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J2EE. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. We understand that it is better to engage vertically than to cultivate intuitively. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of value-added, next-generation, frictionless accounting. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XML. The development management factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can leverage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. Without adequate technologies, aggregation are forced to become open-source. Think ultra-24/7/365. Without sufficient impactful, fractal, real-world bloatware, schemas are forced to become customized, client-focused. If you transform virally, you may have to incentivize wirelessly. It comes off as confusing, but it's entirely true! A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to engage fiercely. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for dealing with new media sourcing?