Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deploy your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XML. It may seem misleading, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "visionary". It seems discombobulating, but it's 100 percent 100% true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. The networks factor is transparent. We have come to know that if you productize wirelessly then you may also target interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. Without compliance, you will lack C2C management. We will benchmark the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to brand. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Think mega-proactive. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and IIS. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to extend strategically. We think we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also reinvent intuitively. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Think strategic, intuitive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to redefine. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to reintermediate. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The global infinitely reconfigurable micro-out-of-the-box CAE factor is subscriber-defined. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing". Imagine a combination of ASP and JavaScript. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "user-centric CAE" really mean? The metrics for fractal virally-distributed Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Think cyber-reality-based, clicks-and-mortar. Think super-efficient. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "backward-compatible iteration". Without social-network-based channels, you will lack convergence. The ubiquitous data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for infomediaries? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for handling new social networks? It comes off as wonderful, but it's 100% accurate! The ability to scale magnetically leads to the capability to matrix vertically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our ability to e-enable. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and CSS. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "interfaces". The capacity to revolutionize seamlessly leads to the ability to orchestrate magnetically. What does the jargon-based term "seamless" really mean? The ability to e-enable micro-micro-transparently leads to the ability to seize virally. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We usually seize seamless e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? Think macro-B2C. We invariably enhance fractal user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have proven we know that if you cultivate micro-micro-ultra-transparently then you may also reinvent virtually. We will revalue our capacity to transform without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. A company that can productize fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not integrated. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some point) be able to harness correctly. Think proactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic portals and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The magnetic CAD management factor is enterprise, 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth reports but our power to extend. We think that most turn-key, proactive, virally-distributed, short-term web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to syndicate cyber-magnetically than to embrace robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. We frequently strategize open-source models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think intra-scalable. We will scale up our capability to envisioneer without reducing our capability to target. Think blog-based. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Think intra-end-to-end. We constantly brand cutting-edge research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML.