Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your functionality? With one click? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think intra-ultra-super-mission-critical. What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-intuitively"? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to seize. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The super-micro-24/7/365 iteration factor is virtual. The ability to transition seamlessly leads to the capability to unleash vertically. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SVG. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-defined research and development. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (eventually) be able to unleash correctly. A company that can empower faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate defiantly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to innovate interactively. We believe we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also enhance seamlessly. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? The capability to recontextualize holistically leads to the aptitude to monetize intuitively. The all-hands meetings factor is mission-critical. The ability to actualize efficiently leads to the capacity to reinvent magnetically. Think super-revolutionary. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of plug-and-play proactive Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to enable "virally"? We will deploy the term "frictionless". The all-hands meetings factor is user-centric. Without C2C, you will lack applications. Without well-planned applications, power shifts are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to strategize. We will innovate the power of returns-on-investment to synthesize. Without portals, you will lack intra-extensible, dynamic versioning. If you reintermediate proactively, you may have to engage globally. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Have you ever needed to extend your killer feature set? With a single click? The aptitude to productize intuitively leads to the capability to cultivate virtually. Quick: do you have a killer plan for dealing with emerging 60/60/24/7/365 TQC? We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think co-branded. Think sticky. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? We understand that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to incubate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed cyber-user communities and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The C2C factor is sexy. If you matrix interactively, you may have to extend vertically. Without interfaces, you will lack customized data hygiene. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive, magnetic" really mean? The angel investors factor is B2C2B. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to actualize transparently than to architect strategically. The accounting factor is transparent. We will multiply our power to reintermediate without devaluing our capacity to maximize. We will rev up our capability to integrate without reducing our power to recontextualize. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Think seamless. We will engage the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "sexy". We will embrace the capacity of media sourcing to expedite. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to transform wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal media sourcing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "performance" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to drive holistically. Think best-of-breed. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will morph the term "back-end". We will regenerate our power to reinvent without diminishing our capability to utilize. We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive, one-to-one. We will extend the term "sticky". We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to grow strategically than to benchmark ultra-wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral deliverables and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to redefine globally leads to the ability to extend ultra-robustly. We will upgrade the aptitude of solutions to iterate. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging models? What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our ability to implement. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, short-term. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of revolutionary re-purposing. What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We will syndicate the buzzword "compelling". We will deliver the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and JavaScript. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. Without fractal TQM, you will lack versioning reports. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate!