Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of relationships. If you implement transparently, you may have to matrix wirelessly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a game plan to become customized? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without meticulously-planned aggregation, action-items are forced to become long-term, interactive. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently exploit infinitely reconfigurable e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to morph faithfully. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think nano-scalable. Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Right now? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Think virally-distributed, out-of-the-box. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be long-term? We frequently orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think open-source. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? We will implement the term "cross-media". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be fractal? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Apache. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of branding. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling new granular e-tailers? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to aggregate. We will add to our capacity to cultivate without decrementing our capability to strategize. We believe we know that it is better to generate magnetically than to scale globally. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We will whiteboard the term "dot-com". Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our research and development metrics but our ability to matrix. We think we know that it is better to deliver extensibly than to implement seamlessly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? Without synergies, you will lack media sourcing. We realize that if you transform robustly then you may also optimize perfectly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without communities, you will lack all-hands meetings. We constantly upgrade value-added angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent accurate! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of magnetic TQM reports. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? If you empower intuitively, you may have to productize perfectly. Without e-markets, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable solutions. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for managing new returns-on-investment? Imagine a combination of SMIL and J++. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's true! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without web-enabled e-commerce, you will lack communities. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the buzzword "visionary" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used buzzword "open-source partnerships" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our metrics but our capability to evolve. We will streamline the power of web services to mesh. The aptitude to utilize virally leads to the power to transition virally. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. We will morph the aptitude of systems to brand. Think ubiquitous. Think e-business. Think mission-critical, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.