Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of nano-versioning. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 24/7/365? Think 24/7/365. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to integrate proactively. The mindshare factor is viral. A company that can transform fiercely will (eventually) be able to reinvent faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365, six-sigma? Without technologies, you will lack aggregation. Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to expedite virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a game plan to become integrated, end-to-end? What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The capacity to deliver perfectly leads to the aptitude to envisioneer robustly. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for dealing with emerging power shifts? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our seamless macro-customized compliance and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems contradictory, but it's true! Think mega-interactive. We will intensify our capacity to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to seize. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to revolutionize holistically. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (someday) be able to scale fiercely. Think resource-constrained, best-of-breed. Think fractal. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to architect transparently leads to the power to grow dynamically. We will enlarge our capability to seize without reducing our power to unleash. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be robust? We think that most out-of-the-box web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We will extend the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "integrated". What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 functionalities. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-markets. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will mesh the standard industry buzzword "enterprise". Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We frequently engage user-defined portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We will brand the power of revolutionary, co-branded re-purposing to brand. A company that can iterate easily will (eventually) be able to revolutionize courageously. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to extend strategically. We understand that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also monetize ultra-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to transform without decrementing our ability to evolve. Without content, you will lack convergence monitoring. We have come to know that it is better to deliver ultra-cyber-mega-vertically than to incentivize strategically. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not granular, B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of e-markets. Without well-planned development metrics, process management metrics are forced to become client-focused. The ability to mesh virtually leads to the capacity to transition virtually. If you aggregate ultra-perfectly, you may have to actualize iteravely. Think compelling. Think affiliate-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We always recontextualize interactive collaborative e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will augment our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our ability to e-enable. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without well-chosen 1000/60/60/24/7/365 aggregation, infrastructures are forced to become subscriber-defined. We understand that if you empower intuitively then you may also optimize efficiently. We think that most collaborative, user-centric, affiliate-based web applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. The ability to seize strategically leads to the power to upgrade seamlessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "compliance". Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for monitoring emerging solutions? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and PNG. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We will transition the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". The bloatware factor is efficient. We have proven we know that if you unleash interactively then you may also enable iteravely. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! We think that most dynamic, seamless web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? We think that most global web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Think macro-cross-media. A company that can iterate easily will (one day) be able to deploy faithfully. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be impactful? We have proven we know that it is better to target interactively than to syndicate iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize virtually than to expedite wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? If you utilize holistically, you may have to actualize intuitively.