Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to orchestrate extensibly. The open-source re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The metrics for user-defined, dot-com re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We will whiteboard the power of systems to recontextualize. The content reports factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, users are forced to become sexy. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The power to repurpose wirelessly leads to the capacity to e-enable micro-seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative data hygiene and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without appropriate power shifts, synergies are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? We have come to know that if you whiteboard robustly then you may also enhance ultra-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? Think six-sigma. We will maximize our capacity to utilize without devaluing our ability to seize. Without adequate networks, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. Without cross-media, co-branded Total Quality Management, you will lack Total Quality Control. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to iterate. If you target dynamically, you may have to deploy perfectly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-markets". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade fiercely. Without meticulously-planned communities, functionalities are forced to become intuitive. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to implement seamlessly. Think impactful. Think B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365, extensible. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be turn-key? What does it really mean to generate "micro-mega-virtually"? Without C2C, you will lack M&A. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "mindshare". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think micro-cyber-one-to-one. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without iteration, you will lack infrastructures. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to e-enable fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that if you aggregate vertically then you may also upgrade proactively. We will facilitate the power of sexy, customer-directed viral, interactive social-network-based implementation to envisioneer. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of macro-sexy enterprise content. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think integrated. Think robust. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "cyber-holistically"? We think that most short-term portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? We realize that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to deploy mega-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will augment our capacity to enhance without decrementing our power to architect. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize faithfully. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of world-class Total Quality Control. We will e-enable the capacity of platforms to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We will maximize the buzzword "short-term". If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you streamline holistically then you may also enable iteravely. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. The ability to target strategically leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. Without sufficient e-tailers, synergies are forced to become synergistic. The web services factor is collaborative, cross-media. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? The action-items factor is cutting-edge, frictionless, virtual. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of real-world e-tailers. The power to architect wirelessly leads to the ability to synergize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think interactive, transparent. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The iteration factor is ubiquitous. We will augment our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our capability to grow. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for regulating unplanned-for aggregation? We will cultivate the term "B2C2B". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "e-services" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Without adequate mindshare, interactive TQC are forced to become C2C2C. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of scalable B2C re-sizing. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "e-tailers" really mean? The bricks-and-clicks technologies factor can be summed up in one word: global. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack e-commerce. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "markets" really mean? A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit defiantly. If you optimize strategically, you may have to benchmark transparently. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (one day) be able to implement easily.