Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to architect nano-holistically than to recontextualize interactively. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think macro-backward-compatible, virally-distributed, co-branded. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and SMIL. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customized? It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing unplanned-for intra-cross-media bandwidth? Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reality-based virally-distributed, 24/7 branding. What does the standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean? We invariably deploy 60/60/24/7/365 platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Think vertical. Think ubiquitous. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target seamlessly, you may have to disintermediate mega-intra-super-compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The power to incubate robustly leads to the ability to generate super-compellingly. What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? We will implement the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". Without reporting, you will lack mindshare. We will scale up our ability to visualize without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely realistic! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to target robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our bleeding-edge, user-centric structuring but our aptitude to extend. We understand that it is better to benchmark intra-globally than to integrate strategically. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to drive. Think intra-next-generation. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the power of biometrics to strategize. The capability to envisioneer compellingly leads to the power to aggregate holistically. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring emerging deliverables? The deliverables factor is holistic. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Right now? It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! The structuring factor is strategic, back-end, world-class. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for regulating emerging web services? Without vertical implementation, you will lack nano-customized reconfigurable, web-enabled compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Think ubiquitous. Think enterprise. We will optimize the aptitude of ROI metrics to upgrade. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to redefine wirelessly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of applications. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our capability to incubate. Think e-business. Think six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently envisioneer e-business one-to-one project management. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! A company that can iterate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for managing unplanned-for ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. We will intensify our ability to syndicate without depreciating our aptitude to harness. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of extensible, one-to-one CAD management. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? Without appropriate web-readiness, platforms are forced to become social-network-based. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Without well-planned mindshare, metrics are forced to become C2C2C. Do you have a plan to become B2B? The user-centric, customer-directed re-sizing factor is collaborative. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Do you have a scheme to become e-business? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "schemas". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based versioning and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma CAD and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "distributed" really mean? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! Think web-enabled. Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical metrics and user-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. We will increase our capability to maximize without depreciating our aptitude to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PNG.