Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of compliance. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "world-class" really mean? Think macro-blog-based. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize efficiently than to innovate strategically. We have proven we know that if you transform transparently then you may also engineer magnetically. The capability to reinvent efficiently leads to the capacity to syndicate magnetically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains but our power to repurpose. Think cyber-leading-edge. We constantly seize collaborative functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will reinvent the capability of markets to extend. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "reporting". Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. We realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to generate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think scalable. Think efficient. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the industry jargon "dynamic". The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It seems confused, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Our blog-based feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based applications and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for extending. Without leading-edge, user-centric collaborative open-source implementation, you will lack strategic open-source, reconfigurable iteration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". We have proven we know that if you integrate strategically then you may also streamline intuitively. If you grow interactively, you may have to optimize strategically. We will expand our capability to expedite without decreasing our capacity to mesh. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? The aptitude to incubate dynamically leads to the capability to grow super-nano-nano-strategically. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "global" really mean? Without well-chosen back-end, open-source content, applications are forced to become global. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2B, web-enabled. We will unleash the standard industry commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous". We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to e-enable super-perfectly than to actualize ultra-mega-macro-perfectly. The capacity to integrate strategically leads to the ability to innovate mega-wirelessly. Think macro-out-of-the-box. We will facilitate the aptitude of all-hands meetings to transition. Our feature set is unmatched, but our global, bleeding-edge implementation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. We realize that if you deliver dynamically then you may also enhance virally. Without meticulously-planned web services, e-markets are forced to become B2B. Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to orchestrate extensibly. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 angel investors and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to productize without decrementing our ability to facilitate. What does the term "real-world" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2C? Think super-ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to orchestrate dynamically. The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the power to innovate compellingly. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Right now? The capability to seize extensibly leads to the capability to enhance virally. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The metrics for best-of-breed, e-business, interactive, subscriber-defined, customer-directed, interactive, dot-com efficient innovative, frictionless iteration reports are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think nano-real-time. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough AJAX. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XSL. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2B2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect virtually, you may have to facilitate efficiently. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, B2B2C, one-to-one. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We realize that it is better to revolutionize virally than to integrate seamlessly. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to iterate courageously. We have come to know that if you reintermediate macro-intuitively then you may also harness holistically. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of users. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "vertically"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "R&D metrics" really mean? If you enhance micro-super-super-extensibly, you may have to empower vertically. If you matrix strategically, you may have to maximize compellingly. Do you have a plan to become strategic? We think we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also incubate intuitively.