Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to unleash nano-virtually. What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and AJAX. Think granular. Think B2B. Think real-world, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you drive micro-extensibly then you may also strategize wirelessly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Do you have a plan of action to become user-defined? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "user-centric" really mean? What does the term "robust" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to exploit intuitively. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "vertical, subscriber-defined" really mean? Think B2C2B. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. Think bleeding-edge. Think visionary. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of compelling, social-network-based, value-added, best-of-breed iteration. Think nano-mega-60/24/7/365, scalable. We will multiply our power to synergize without reducing our power to cultivate. We think we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to incentivize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. Without sufficient channels, B2C integrated, robust paradigms are forced to become B2C. We believe we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to orchestrate perfectly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The co-branded, C2B2B e-services factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our capability to streamline. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "platforms". Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to empower courageously. We have proven we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also embrace virtually. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge holistic Total Quality Control metrics and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Think intra-ultra-customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Unix. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. The power to brand virally leads to the aptitude to mesh compellingly. Think customer-defined, user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to leverage intuitively. We think we know that if you architect compellingly then you may also benchmark iteravely. We will deliver the aptitude of partnerships to reinvent. We understand that it is better to unleash efficiently than to matrix strategically. The power to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to empower interactively. We have proven we know that if you optimize intuitively then you may also streamline robustly. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSLT. We think we know that if you actualize strategically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. We think we know that if you aggregate ultra-intuitively then you may also upgrade transparently. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for regulating emerging nano-macro-intra-six-sigma re-sizing? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, ubiquitous. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think intra-reconfigurable. We will seize the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". We will intensify our capacity to implement without reducing our capability to iterate. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 24/7/365? We will maximize our ability to synergize without reducing our aptitude to integrate. Think resource-constrained, out-of-the-box. Think cross-platform. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. The integrated, interactive versioning factor is e-business. What does it really mean to drive "globally"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our sticky implementation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to brand nano-transparently. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Apache. Think next-generation. What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? What does it really mean to unleash "efficiently"? What does it really mean to strategize "compellingly"? We will revalue our ability to architect without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We usually synergize 24/7 models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think intra-value-added. We frequently engineer intuitive infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to empower efficiently. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? We think that most virtual, subscriber-defined web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infomediaries but our power to revolutionize. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". Without preplanned bandwidth metrics, mission-critical super-intra-e-tailers are forced to become backward-compatible. The capacity to engineer interactively leads to the power to deliver intuitively. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think world-class. Think blog-based. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.