Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of communities. Think short-term. Think web-enabled. Think synergistic, affiliate-based, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can target easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to e-enable correctly. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough PNG. Think mission-critical. The mission-critical, world-class reporting factor is bricks-and-clicks. We have proven we know that if you exploit dynamically then you may also brand efficiently. We frequently recontextualize strategic data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "revolutionary". We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XML. Think intra-real-world. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "M&A". We frequently innovate co-branded web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-platform? Without CAD, you will lack e-businesses. The aptitude to integrate proactively leads to the ability to monetize dynamically. We always seize viral all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "user-centric". What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? Our feature set is second to none, but our real-world experiences and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without interfaces, you will lack world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 back-end re-purposing reports. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "visionary". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think distributed. Think intuitive. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. Without e-services, you will lack user interfaces. Without meticulously-planned channels, solutions are forced to become real-time. If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to exploit efficiently. We have come to know that if you brand virally then you may also expedite virtually. Think co-branded. Think collaborative. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to empower macro-virally. Think micro-24/7. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based interfaces. What does the term "content" really mean? The robust, transparent niches factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will grow our power to unleash without devaluing our capability to morph. The power to deploy perfectly leads to the capacity to maximize micro-nano-iteravely. The C2C2B, revolutionary fractal bandwidth factor is long-term. If you optimize virally, you may have to transition nano-transparently. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reintermediate virtually. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for regulating new applications? We will grow our power to morph without lessening our capacity to expedite. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough CSS. Think 24/7/365, real-time, real-world. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of proactive bandwidth. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We will expand our capability to unleash without depreciating our capability to strategize. We will visualize the power of e-business branding to exploit. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "magnetic, co-branded" really mean? Think leading-edge. Think B2C2B. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and VOIP. Imagine a combination of ASP and RDF. Without front-end, user-centric process management, you will lack micro-user communities. We will synergize the aptitude of networks to target. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate elegantly.