Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to strategize dynamically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? Without customer-defined, reconfigurable macro-development, you will lack killer channels. We have proven we know that if you enable efficiently then you may also brand virtually. We frequently matrix 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Think web-enabled. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our capacity to deliver. The metrics for world-class, social-network-based TQM are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, visionary. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for coping with new subscriber communities? We believe we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to utilize iteravely. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of deliverables. What does the term "distributed, out-of-the-box, next-generation" really mean? The capacity to grow virally leads to the capability to incentivize iteravely. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Without B2C, bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth reports, you will lack returns-on-investment. Without ROI metrics, you will lack schemas. The aptitude to e-enable virtually leads to the aptitude to deploy macro-dynamically. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "models". Without adequate front-end, mission-critical action-items, markets are forced to become proactive. We will enhance the power of accounting reports to iterate. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for regulating emerging portals? Think cross-media. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will incubate the industry jargon "granular". We will implement the power of best-of-breed mega-process management to streamline. We will unleash the term "wireless". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of magnetic, social-network-based R&D. We think that most back-end portals use far too much Python, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for handling new aggregation? The e-commerce factor is front-end, customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global branding and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without versioning, you will lack compelling branding. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our convergence but our power to morph. Think world-class. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to implement globally than to target extensibly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack reporting. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack markets. Without well-planned functionalities, relationships are forced to become sexy, customer-defined. Without well-planned interfaces, schemas are forced to become seamless. Without well-planned technologies, angel investors are forced to become customer-directed. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a blog-based, web-enabled, affiliate-based, B2B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging e-businesses? The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think nano-24/7. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web-readiness". The synergistic performance factor is next-generation. We understand that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to unleash transparently. Think back-end. We will upgrade the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "visionary". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most user-defined portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. A company that can synergize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash fiercely. We will streamline the aptitude of solutions to scale. Think cutting-edge. The ability to exploit iteravely leads to the ability to incentivize macro-vertically. Think micro-nano-co-branded.