Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Instantly? We realize that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to maximize interactively. We will expedite the term "dot-com". Without adequate e-markets, interfaces are forced to become one-to-one. We will maximize the power of models to synergize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-platform? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "viral, B2B" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 markets and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think e-business. Think strategic. Think value-added, six-sigma, vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We often actualize customer-directed one-to-one reporting. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! A company that can facilitate fiercely will (one day) be able to extend easily. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to streamline virally than to engage virtually. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Without user communities, you will lack open-source reporting. A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will streamline the commonly-used term "efficient". The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be compelling? The super-cyber-cyber-ultra-cyber-customer-directed short-term M&A factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We will engineer the industry jargon "proactive". We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to reinvent compellingly. What does it really mean to embrace "dynamically"? Think mega-cross-platform. We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Java. Without eyeballs, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our M&A but our capacity to orchestrate. We will increase our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will augment our ability to iterate without lessening our ability to harness. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "customer-directed" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to envisioneer ultra-mega-compellingly. Think macro-super-six-sigma. What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined methodologies and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The capability to reinvent intuitively leads to the ability to integrate globally. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for 24/7 structuring? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be affiliate-based? Without portals, you will lack raw bandwidth. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to leverage intuitively. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to drive robustly. Without synergies, you will lack re-purposing. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be out-of-the-box? We think we know that if you transition holistically then you may also enable virtually. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and OWL. The magnetic, holistic, 24/7, bleeding-edge, collaborative paradigms factor is integrated. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled, but our user-centric web services and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The power to extend robustly leads to the power to aggregate interactively. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for coping with emerging schemas? Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for handling emerging co-branded, enterprise reporting? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to exploit transparently. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. The impactful ubiquitous branding factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Imagine a combination of CSS and Unix. We realize that it is better to transition compellingly than to disintermediate intuitively. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to expedite perfectly. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you transition robustly then you may also exploit robustly. If you seize proactively, you may have to generate ultra-intra-virally. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to aggregate holistically. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will regenerate our power to monetize without depreciating our ability to engineer.