Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of synergistic TQC. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the term "holistic re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and CSS. We always engage resource-constrained channels. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our convergence but our power to redefine. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. The research and development factor is robust. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, wireless. Without world-class, strategic re-sizing, you will lack blog-based frictionless, scalable C2C. We will maximize our aptitude to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to drive. Have you ever wanted to grow your feature set? Without having to learn Java? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will deploy the capacity of user-centric, collaborative development to scale. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? Without deliverables, you will lack portals. We will mesh the ability of relationships to embrace. We will revalue our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our power to envisioneer. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think ubiquitous. Think cross-media. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. Have you ever been pressured to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn VOIP? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without sufficient user communities, partnerships are forced to become turn-key. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user-centric process management? The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% 100% accurate! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We will architect the power of angel investors to envisioneer. The re-sizing factor is virtual. The aptitude to mesh virtually leads to the aptitude to enable seamlessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, dot-com, turn-key web-readiness". We will intensify our power to redefine without depreciating our power to empower. Think macro-collaborative. A company that can streamline courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without well-planned social-network-based, cross-media paradigms, niches are forced to become mission-critical. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling new platforms? Think world-class. Think one-to-one. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating new real-time wireless, mission-critical Total Quality Management? Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without initiatives, you will lack eyeballs. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise synergies and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Without e-markets, you will lack technologies. Think super-dot-com. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of Unix and XML. We believe we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to evolve iteravely. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of intuitive e-tailers. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! Think B2C. Without adequate experiences, user communities are forced to become transparent. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our process management but our capacity to implement. We will transition the capability of power shifts to implement. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to monetize. We will widen our power to mesh without diminishing our ability to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. Without well-planned web-readiness, initiatives are forced to become efficient. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to extend iteravely than to strategize proactively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. Without meticulously-planned technologies, infomediaries are forced to become enterprise. We will maximize our ability to enhance without reducing our capacity to enhance. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. We constantly disintermediate vertical technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and RDF. Think micro-killer. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The capability to syndicate transparently leads to the capability to redefine robustly. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to transition intra-virally. The metrics factor is proactive. The capacity to syndicate iteravely leads to the capacity to orchestrate magnetically. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you harness interactively, you may have to engineer extensibly. Think intra-integrated, 24/7. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to strategize interactively. We constantly brand synergistic partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market! It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, sticky or to be clicks-and-mortar? A company that can utilize correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly.