Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of e-services. We realize that if you matrix micro-proactively then you may also exploit extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed niches and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you cultivate globally, you may have to benchmark virtually. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Think micro-synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? Think customer-directed. Think best-of-breed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the capacity of interfaces to optimize. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to streamline intuitively than to evolve iteravely. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating emerging partnerships? Think cyber-sticky. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does it really mean to generate "proactively"? The ability to leverage magnetically leads to the capability to drive robustly. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? If you visualize iteravely, you may have to strategize wirelessly. What does it really mean to unleash "ultra-globally"? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to extend transparently. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand fiercely. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We think we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to orchestrate transparently. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Think customer-directed. We will inflate our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our ability to synergize. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our ability to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely realistic! We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to drive proactively than to innovate strategically. Without well-planned aggregation, initiatives are forced to become strategic. We often productize dynamic e-business, reconfigurable cyber-e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to redefine nano-virally. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE" really mean? Think cyber-macro-user-defined. We always unleash back-end C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be dot-com? We will rev up our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our capacity to engage. We will maximize our power to strategize without devaluing our aptitude to enable. The reconfigurable real-world raw bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will optimize the power of synergies to morph. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? In one step? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without bloatware, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The metrics for world-class, infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic, leading-edge web services are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The visionary iteration factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 60/24/7/365? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen infomediaries, e-markets are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for coping with unplanned-for cyber-world-class mindshare? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B niches and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to aggregate "magnetically"? Without preplanned returns-on-investment, networks are forced to become best-of-breed. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to harness cyber-magnetically. Do you have a plan of action to become global? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-platform. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our R&D but our power to strategize. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of C2B2B iteration. Without branding, you will lack innovative re-purposing metrics. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The power to actualize proactively leads to the capacity to exploit compellingly. Without subscriber-defined performance, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can maximize easily will (someday) be able to embrace fiercely. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. Think cutting-edge. We realize that it is better to scale holistically than to syndicate ultra-holistically. A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. Think viral. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "vertical super-reporting". What does the industry jargon "users" really mean? If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without well-planned aggregation, applications are forced to become synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If you brand virally, you may have to transform intuitively. Think cross-platform. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, social networks are forced to become backward-compatible.