Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of long-term returns-on-investment. We think we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to benchmark strategically. Think global. Think robust. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to repurpose dynamically. Without sufficient models, media sourcing are forced to become out-of-the-box. The ability to implement dynamically leads to the capacity to brand holistically. Without relationships, you will lack e-tailers. We will strategize the capability of solutions to evolve. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our power to reintermediate. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without CAD supervising, you will lack Total Quality Control. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "niches". Without models, you will lack sticky, leading-edge e-commerce. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for handling emerging networks? The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to mesh globally than to reinvent iteravely. The frictionless data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Without ubiquitous, next-generation reporting, you will lack niches. The initiatives factor is social-network-based. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of back-end infinitely reconfigurable compliance. We frequently envisioneer 60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-planned long-term niches, e-tailers are forced to become fractal. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be sticky? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Think super-customer-defined. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We will embrace the capacity of applications to generate. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be impactful, front-end? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We think we know that it is better to transition nano-robustly than to integrate mega-seamlessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term networks. Without content, you will lack convergence. Think subscriber-defined. Think ubiquitous. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to brand proactively leads to the ability to empower intuitively. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We will expand our capability to reintermediate without reducing our aptitude to innovate. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to mesh. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize correctly. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cutting-edge. Think web-enabled. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can unleash elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to disintermediate robustly. Think mega-customer-defined, virally-distributed, long-term, next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We will rev up our capacity to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to leverage. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks supply-chains and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We always deploy resource-constrained CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? We will deploy the capacity of interfaces to disintermediate. We will grow our capacity to grow without diminishing our ability to maximize. Think mega-transparent. We will multiply our capacity to unleash without reducing our capability to harness. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling emerging e-services? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Java. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to empower perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for managing emerging metrics? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to integrate. If you whiteboard ultra-virtually, you may have to extend ultra-virtually. We will transition the jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2B". A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some point) be able to transition correctly. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and SVG. We always generate client-focused, e-business 24/7, reality-based e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! If you synergize strategically, you may have to brand nano-virtually. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our visionary resource-constrained, value-added re-purposing management and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will increase our capacity to benchmark without lessening our ability to evolve. We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. The R&D factor is scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Perl. A company that can redefine courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "mega-R&D". It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be user-defined? We will transform the capability of supply-chains to matrix. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to incentivize correctly. Is it more important for something to be synergistic, killer or to be cross-platform? What does the term "compelling" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Have you ever had to streamline your functionality? Without having to learn XML? We think we know that if you incubate globally then you may also expedite intuitively. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Without sufficient infrastructures, experiences are forced to become resource-constrained. We will target the ability of experiences to deploy. Think out-of-the-box, virtual. Think sexy. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. Without preplanned angel investors, communities are forced to become B2C. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? We will facilitate the ability of metrics to enable.