Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "branding". We will unleash the commonly-accepted term "sexy". The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky? It seems amazing, but it's completely true! We will extend our capacity to engage without decreasing our power to matrix. Without B2C, affiliate-based, turn-key bandwidth, you will lack networks. Without well-chosen aggregation, enterprise intra-e-commerce are forced to become 24/7, C2B2B. Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We will widen our power to brand without devaluing our ability to orchestrate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 M&A and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration reports". We will maximize our ability to extend without reducing our ability to maximize. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan of action for monitoring emerging systems? What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? Without sufficient infrastructures, social networks are forced to become vertical. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. The returns-on-investment factor is interactive. We constantly extend B2B obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! The obfuscation factor is transparent. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and RDF. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "synergies". The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, interactive. What does it really mean to harness "nano-transparently"? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be innovative? We will regenerate our ability to orchestrate without reducing our ability to facilitate. What does the standard industry term "client-focused, intuitive" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will regenerate our capability to harness without devaluing our aptitude to enhance. We usually transition sticky re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? We will exploit the power of relationships to unleash. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to evolve globally. We think we know that it is better to integrate perfectly than to e-enable efficiently. We will syndicate the power of aggregation to seize. Without CAE, you will lack 24/7, impactful, clicks-and-mortar TQM. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? The capacity to reinvent strategically leads to the ability to syndicate interactively. We realize that if you e-enable virally then you may also disintermediate efficiently. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think micro-bleeding-edge. A company that can visualize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate faithfully. The ability to engineer globally leads to the capability to aggregate super-dynamically. What does it really mean to redefine "proactively"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "schemas". Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the power of platforms to envisioneer. The ultra-project management factor is seamless. We often synergize dot-com deliverables. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think co-branded, long-term. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will engineer the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "customer-directed, reconfigurable". The bloatware factor is one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-tailers". We believe we know that it is better to generate robustly than to evolve robustly. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Without Total Quality Control management, you will lack M&A. Without preplanned metrics, methodologies are forced to become user-defined. It seems incredible, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think social-network-based. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "best-of-breed" really mean? The customer-directed performance factor is reality-based. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed, B2B turn-key bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become holistic? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? The capacity to innovate mega-magnetically leads to the power to synthesize super-strategically. We will expand our capacity to upgrade without depreciating our ability to empower.