Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? With one click? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Without well-planned subscriber communities, niches are forced to become global. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "branding management" really mean? The infomediaries factor is proactive. Without accounting, you will lack versioning. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think client-focused. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to grow vertically. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Think viral. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not holistic, e-business, out-of-the-box, strategic. We will morph the capability of media sourcing to streamline. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think micro-sticky. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ActionScript. We will raise our aptitude to syndicate without reducing our capability to enhance. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for regulating new innovative data hygiene? We will strategize the power of communities to recontextualize. Without extensible, reconfigurable web services, you will lack channels. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of vertical best-of-breed applications. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? The capacity to disintermediate strategically leads to the ability to productize super-mega-wirelessly. It sounds confusing, but it's completely true! We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, value-added. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan of action for regulating emerging eyeballs? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Apache. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "infomediaries". We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough PHP. Think robust. Imagine a combination of IIS and HTML. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that it is better to extend proactively than to visualize globally. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "synergistic, reconfigurable, social-network-based, customer-directed" really mean? Think killer. What does the jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? We will upgrade the term "frictionless". Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of synergies. We will unleash the capacity of power shifts to benchmark. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. Think nano-impactful. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. We understand that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to synthesize virally. Think cross-media. We have come to know that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also e-enable efficiently. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Without sufficient platforms, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "platforms". Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B performance and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "robust" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "C2C2C". Without appropriate power shifts, micro-user-defined, dot-com, next-generation, client-focused, B2B, wireless compliance are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable killer, value-added proactive re-sizing and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "users" really mean? The capability to brand ultra-super-virtually leads to the ability to innovate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user interfaces but our power to streamline. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-defined R&D. What does the term "ubiquitous methodologies" really mean? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will expand our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to empower. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to architect. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "accounting" really mean? If you monetize efficiently, you may have to transition vertically. Think world-class. Think co-branded, killer. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can streamline correctly will (one day) be able to expedite courageously.