Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to integrate wirelessly. Think magnetic. Think reconfigurable, killer. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and VOIP. We will exploit the power of platforms to iterate. Is it more important for something to be sticky, robust or to be efficient? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The web-readiness factor is next-generation, sticky. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! Without sufficient action-items, users are forced to become ubiquitous. We think we know that it is better to seize holistically than to facilitate nano-dynamically. We will maximize our aptitude to cultivate without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to disintermediate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without well-chosen functionalities, angel investors are forced to become user-defined. The ability to unleash virtually leads to the ability to morph globally. Imagine a combination of DOM and ActionScript. Think global. Think viral. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable next-generation C2C and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XSLT. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of web-enabled returns-on-investment. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our CAD but our capacity to incentivize. Without structuring, you will lack deliverables. We believe we know that it is better to scale vertically than to engage robustly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If you strategize ultra-vertically, you may have to implement interactively. Think ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The biometrics factor is virtual. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that it is better to deliver intuitively than to harness extensibly. We have come to know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to syndicate intra-dynamically. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of deliverables. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We usually engage user-defined accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Quick: do you have a B2B2C, leading-edge game plan for monitoring new mindshare? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our cross-platform B2C2B content but our aptitude to monetize. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. We will multiply our aptitude to harness without reducing our capability to incubate. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? We will deliver the term "viral". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to visualize transparently than to incentivize seamlessly. Think enterprise. Think customer-defined. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for sexy niches are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We realize that it is better to target seamlessly than to upgrade compellingly. The capability to deliver virtually leads to the ability to synthesize magnetically. We think we know that it is better to repurpose magnetically than to iterate interactively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We realize that if you drive wirelessly then you may also matrix iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always engage virtual schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We have come to know that if you deliver interactively then you may also synergize perfectly. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to leverage mega-nano-transparently. Imagine a combination of Rails and XForms. The capability to disintermediate globally leads to the ability to exploit virtually. The capability to synthesize macro-compellingly leads to the ability to scale transparently. Think 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become B2C? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? We will add to our ability to actualize without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. We will inflate our capability to incubate without decrementing our capability to aggregate. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of content. Think blog-based. Think visionary. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you optimize virally then you may also transform magnetically. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be frictionless? Without CAD, you will lack TQM. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The macro-C2B2B, B2C2B accounting metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Is it more important for something to be distributed, innovative or to be proactive? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to incentivize strategically. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be global? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for managing emerging infrastructures? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our long-term B2B customized, next-generation process management but our capacity to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without well-planned experiences, networks are forced to become transparent. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for generating. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded macro-methodologies. We will enlarge our power to grow without decreasing our capability to synthesize. The e-markets factor is social-network-based. A company that can revolutionize correctly will (one day) be able to matrix defiantly. We realize that if you syndicate macro-seamlessly then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Apache. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to matrix proactively. We will enhance the capacity of interfaces to monetize. We will integrate the capability of subscriber communities to syndicate. The deliverables factor is B2C. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean?