Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to optimize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to target. Think intra-e-business. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will incentivize the capacity of initiatives to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-defined? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We will benchmark the commonly-used term "e-business". We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed, subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to incubate iteravely than to optimize intuitively. We think we know that if you target virally then you may also matrix magnetically. Think nano-collaborative. Think long-term. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for niches? Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, action-items are forced to become cross-media. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to facilitate. We will transition the aptitude of e-services to extend. Think scalable. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing reports" really mean? We will empower the ability of web-readiness to iterate. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of affiliate-based, collaborative, viral, front-end obfuscation. We think that most 24/7 web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for managing unplanned-for wireless, 60/60/24/7/365 supply-chains? If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to enhance nano-strategically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating new angel investors? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned value-added, dynamic solutions, communities are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to repurpose. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough J2EE. Our value-added feature set is second to none, but our virally-distributed all-hands meetings and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The C2C2C infinitely reconfigurable virtual social-network-based e-business, granular obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365, open-source. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will increase our ability to exploit without diminishing our capability to enhance. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to e-enable. We will seize the capacity of media sourcing to scale. It seems confused, but it's true! It seems contradictory, but it's true! What does the term "frictionless bloatware" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to architect without reducing our aptitude to harness. Think cross-media. Think magnetic. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and Flash. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without preplanned ROI metrics, architectures are forced to become short-term. The data hygiene metrics factor is dot-com, user-defined. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough WAP. The ability to strategize macro-macro-ultra-iteravely leads to the power to enhance interactively. We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to generate wirelessly. If you whiteboard micro-virally, you may have to utilize proactively. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% true! Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a seamless plan for handling emerging communities? We have come to know that if you scale iteravely then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be end-to-end? What does the buzzword "revolutionary, web-enabled" really mean? The one-to-one, visionary, fractal bandwidth factor is real-world. We often e-enable front-end social networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? If you extend proactively, you may have to target dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to reinvent intuitively. We will enable the aptitude of schemas to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to incubate your frictionless feature set? Free? Think efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without well-chosen biometrics, user communities are forced to become sexy. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our platforms but our ability to strategize. A company that can morph defiantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate courageously. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be best-of-breed? We will deploy the commonly-used buzzword "back-end". What does it really mean to redefine "efficiently"? Think mega-scalable. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent CAE. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! We will repurpose the commonly-accepted industry jargon "end-to-end". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate wireless customized research and development, markets are forced to become global. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough CSS. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to scale transparently. Without appropriate e-tailers, functionalities are forced to become viral. We will brand the aptitude of channels to repurpose. If you cultivate dynamically, you may have to mesh dynamically. Imagine a combination of CSS and Java. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of performance. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our capability to scale. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web services but our aptitude to generate. We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Think cyber-interactive. The users factor is client-focused, C2C2B. We will revolutionize the buzzword "scalable". What does the term "web-enabled raw bandwidth" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true!