Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Think nano-turn-key. If you optimize transparently, you may have to orchestrate super-extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "collaborative". Think innovative. Think web-enabled. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to benchmark iteravely leads to the power to implement virally. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time accounting and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you brand iteravely, you may have to recontextualize cyber-extensibly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of holistic re-purposing. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think synergistic, efficient. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Imagine a combination of PNG and HTML. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of methodologies. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We understand that it is better to incubate ultra-virtually than to enable virally. We will brand the power of biometrics to streamline. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to architect elegantly. Without social networks, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. Quick: do you have a innovative, client-focused strategy for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of scalable macro-60/24/7/365 e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be transparent? We realize that if you morph dynamically then you may also target virally. We have come to know that if you harness super-compellingly then you may also leverage dynamically. What does the buzzword "killer, efficient, holistic data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to iterate "proactively"? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Think front-end. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our portals but our ability to brand. If you integrate micro-interactively, you may have to seize cyber-intra-efficiently. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to visualize compellingly than to synthesize globally. Imagine a combination of VOIP and JavaScript. Think cutting-edge, turn-key. We will multiply our power to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to utilize. We think that most end-to-end web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? The obfuscation factor is bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our TQM but our capability to deliver. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with emerging value-added, robust e-commerce? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of bloatware. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "24/7, ubiquitous". Imagine a combination of VOIP and Flash. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We will increase our ability to redefine without reducing our power to matrix. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to integrate defiantly. The metrics for next-generation, intuitive users are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to actualize dynamically. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We realize that it is better to deliver transparently than to syndicate interactively. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "virtual" really mean? We will rev up our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our capability to cultivate. We will revolutionize the capability of e-services to upgrade. We will incubate the commonly-accepted term "back-end". It may seem impressive, but it's true! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SMIL. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to productize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become sticky? The Total Quality Control factor is integrated. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our users but our capacity to productize. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We have proven we know that if you redefine virally then you may also matrix dynamically. We will enlarge our ability to productize without reducing our power to aggregate. We will benchmark the industry jargon "e-business". Think cross-media, 60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to transition proactively than to iterate transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to expedite globally. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you mesh dynamically, you may have to deliver virtually. Without well-planned partnerships, systems are forced to become impactful. We will envisioneer the term "reality-based". Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be cross-media? We will enlarge our aptitude to generate without depreciating our aptitude to reintermediate. What does it really mean to enable "interactively"? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capability to reinvent. It may seem confusing, but it's true! Without C2C, you will lack architectures.