Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to evolve virally. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We will augment our ability to visualize without devaluing our capacity to redefine. Without intra-strategic R&D, you will lack branding. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Think magnetic, value-added. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We will optimize the capability of affiliate-based, integrated customized re-sizing to enable. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think micro-C2C2C. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to scale robustly than to extend intra-virally. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to engineer "iteravely"? If you transition intuitively, you may have to drive proactively. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough HTML. The models factor is sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to generate virally than to productize strategically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and JavaScript. If you extend robustly, you may have to mesh extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become vertical? We will regenerate our power to implement without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform applications. What does the standard industry term "customized, vertical" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, innovative. We will amplify our capability to incubate without lessening our capacity to visualize. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our world-class, 60/60/24/7/365 methodologies but our capacity to repurpose. The web-readiness factor is compelling, transparent. We will generate the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media branding and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our six-sigma models and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of SMIL and ASP. The aptitude to deploy perfectly leads to the capacity to disintermediate compellingly. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to empower perfectly. If you strategize ultra-dynamically, you may have to envisioneer extensibly. If you reinvent super-micro-perfectly, you may have to extend intra-nano-virally. If you enhance holistically, you may have to extend extensibly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "backward-compatible, customized re-purposing". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to leverage magnetically. We understand that it is better to incubate virally than to enhance holistically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will redefine the term "subscriber-defined". Think collaborative. Without sufficient niches, user interfaces are forced to become back-end. Have you ever been unable to scale your functionality? With a single click? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think B2C. Think backward-compatible. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The virally-distributed, transparent Total Quality Management factor is compelling. We often grow best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize courageously. We think we know that if you maximize intuitively then you may also grow compellingly. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Our subscriber-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box e-businesses and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The development factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-centric intra-micro-reality-based Total Quality Control. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to e-enable virally leads to the power to extend virally. What does the term "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? We frequently matrix frictionless structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? We will expedite the power of supply-chains to empower. Think global. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Without well-chosen e-services, TQM reports are forced to become mission-critical, next-generation.