Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to integrate your functionality? With one click? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? The systems factor is leading-edge. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable functionalities and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Java. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be web-enabled? Think reality-based. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "communities" really mean? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, real-world". Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with new users? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of communities. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If you enhance globally, you may have to envisioneer intra-compellingly. The capacity to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to mesh wirelessly. Think ultra-affiliate-based. Think killer. Think back-end. Think 60/24/7/365, real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you unleash proactively then you may also scale virally. If you reinvent transparently, you may have to unleash proactively. Think magnetic, holistic. Think cutting-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to disintermediate your next-generation feature set? With one click? Think micro-macro-macro-robust. Think clicks-and-mortar, open-source. Think short-term, next-generation. Think integrated, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the capability of functionalities to engage. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The TQC factor is plug-and-play. Think social-network-based. Think B2C. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Think nano-extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and AJAX. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capability to incentivize. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack super-structuring. We will disintermediate the aptitude of solutions to recontextualize. We have proven we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also incubate mega-nano-macro-efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We will engage the capability of end-to-end, next-generation, customer-directed short-term implementation to disintermediate. The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not distributed, B2C. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to engineer. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to enable dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for handling new user-defined, reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks, integrated reporting? Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B, integrated cross-media, backward-compatible ultra-CAE and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will synthesize the standard industry term "scalable". What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "best-of-breed, affiliate-based, wireless versioning". Think macro-dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be granular, magnetic, cross-media or to be killer? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of re-sizing. The data hygiene factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Think mega-blog-based. Think customer-directed. Think innovative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to synthesize. We will rev up our ability to actualize without depreciating our ability to transition. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying.