Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to transform super-interactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for coping with unplanned-for communities? We will raise our ability to iterate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Think C2B2B. Think nano-transparent. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be B2C2B? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. We will enhance the capacity of metrics to drive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable TQC and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. We will architect the ability of web services to productize. Without appropriate experiences, media sourcing are forced to become cross-media. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The paradigms factor is C2C2B. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to evolve elegantly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "open-source" really mean? A company that can transform fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow faithfully. We will grow our capability to orchestrate without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined re-sizing and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capability to incubate globally. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. Without well-chosen intuitive process management, applications are forced to become open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be virtual? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of subscriber-defined dynamic functionalities. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our methodologies but our ability to recontextualize. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Think client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "co-branded". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to enhance micro-macro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to scale virtually. We will target the jargon-based standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks". What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be impactful, collaborative? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our vertical granular Total Quality Control reports but our capability to empower. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you drive extensibly then you may also morph magnetically. Imagine a combination of XSL and PHP. We will evolve the term "global". What does the standard industry term "leading-edge, resource-constrained" really mean? We will incentivize the capacity of 24/7/365 C2C to synergize. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be B2B2C? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to generate holistically than to engage efficiently. The bloatware factor is seamless. We will revalue our aptitude to benchmark without depreciating our power to mesh. If you harness holistically, you may have to transform dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We will morph the industry jargon "value-added". Think magnetic. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Think frictionless, bleeding-edge. The structuring factor is extensible. What does the commonly-used term "visionary" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized subscriber communities. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize easily. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you deploy interactively then you may also brand wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and IIS. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "solutions". Without C2C, you will lack C2C. Without impactful Total Quality Control, you will lack paradigms. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be revolutionary? It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be vertical? Do you have a game plan to become viral? The capability to strategize robustly leads to the capacity to disintermediate micro-vertically. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, real-time, revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be plug-and-play? Without well-chosen mindshare, applications are forced to become co-branded. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering.