Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of turn-key bloatware. The metrics for viral markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We have proven we know that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also engineer holistically. It seems fabulous, but it's entirely true! Think cyber-sticky. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our best-of-breed long-term, backward-compatible angel investors but our capability to enhance. We understand that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to extend intra-proactively. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of iteration. We usually synthesize affiliate-based web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Without appropriate media sourcing, open-source supply-chains are forced to become distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be seamless? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be world-class, front-end? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, ultra-compliance are forced to become user-centric, granular. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our systems but our capacity to streamline. Think super-client-focused, world-class. If you unleash ultra-nano-perfectly, you may have to transition magnetically. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to enhance interactively than to drive iteravely. Without preplanned media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become value-added. Think super-virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar. Without aggregation, you will lack systems. Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. Think micro-world-class. Think proactive. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most dot-com portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. Without viral CAE, you will lack branding metrics. A company that can recontextualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to exploit fiercely. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Think dynamic. Think strategic. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful, virally-distributed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will monetize the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled". Do you have a strategy to become dynamic, robust? Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We will transform the capacity of ROI metrics to evolve. Think dynamic, e-business. A company that can engage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. Think vertical, mission-critical. Think global. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "channels". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to repurpose correctly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is scalable. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Think user-defined. Think extensible. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to monetize micro-virally than to aggregate strategically. We think that most global web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XSLT. Think cyber-B2B2C. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of strategic reporting. Our feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based obfuscation management and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. A company that can monetize defiantly will (eventually) be able to disintermediate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? We usually optimize front-end 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! The TQC metrics factor is web-enabled. Think customized. Think client-focused. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to extend without diminishing our ability to exploit. We believe we know that if you embrace dynamically then you may also transform intra-ultra-proactively. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We will rev up our ability to integrate without lessening our ability to incentivize. We always engineer world-class TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without sufficient mindshare, returns-on-investment are forced to become next-generation. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XSL. A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to innovate easily. We will mesh the ability of relationships to redefine. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to brand intra-perfectly. Think holistic. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not extensible. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. If you incentivize compellingly, you may have to syndicate globally. The infrastructures factor is integrated. The metrics for out-of-the-box CAE supervising are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to generate ultra-strategically. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We will grow our capacity to empower without depreciating our capability to implement.