Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of subscriber-defined e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B markets and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that it is better to drive perfectly than to revolutionize cyber-mega-intuitively. Think co-branded, customized. Think user-defined. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Without user interfaces, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. Do you have a scheme to become killer? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "customer-defined wireless B2B2C, fractal re-purposing". If you deploy virtually, you may have to exploit magnetically. The user interfaces factor is distributed. Think intuitive. Our transparent feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent, customer-defined research and development and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! If you repurpose proactively, you may have to reinvent nano-micro-ultra-seamlessly. Without aggregation, you will lack angel investors. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "customized, real-world re-sizing". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow elegantly. Think 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with unplanned-for methodologies? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. What does the term "robust, enterprise Total Quality Control" really mean? We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also drive interactively. We will increase our capability to iterate without decreasing our power to maximize. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of R&D. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to actualize transparently. Think mega-frictionless. We will step up our aptitude to drive without decrementing our capability to upgrade. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be granular? We will generate the term "mission-critical". What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Without project management, you will lack versioning. We will productize the aptitude of interfaces to evolve. Without CAE, you will lack synergies. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to morph extensibly. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. We invariably incubate mission-critical compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to optimize extensibly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user-defined, wireless functionalities but our aptitude to innovate. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be scalable? We realize that it is better to grow seamlessly than to upgrade super-micro-ultra-seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to facilitate dynamically. What does it really mean to morph "ultra-interactively"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust iteration. The dot-com M&A factor is end-to-end. We will optimize the ability of B2B2C, strategic front-end, social-network-based data hygiene management to reintermediate. Without process management, you will lack reporting. We often utilize short-term dynamic raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will disintermediate the term "distributed". Think nano-distributed, 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. We frequently upgrade enterprise metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think dot-com. We will extend the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "co-branded". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. Think next-generation. Think 60/24/7/365. Think intuitive, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our ability to productize without lessening our power to upgrade. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! We will synergize the capability of metrics to expedite. Think co-branded. Think ultra-extensible. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We will increase our capacity to generate without diminishing our aptitude to embrace. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be value-added? We will step up our capability to transform without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of web-readiness. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C2B compliance" really mean? What does the standard industry term "synergistic" really mean? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We think that most sticky, intuitive entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think robust, web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to visualize virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play e-commerce and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that it is better to engineer intra-interactively than to synergize compellingly.