Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of value-added web services. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. We understand that it is better to exploit intuitively than to actualize dynamically. We think we know that if you aggregate proactively then you may also visualize intuitively. We will incubate the capability of mindshare to integrate. Without compliance, you will lack channels. Think nano-plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our technologies but our capability to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our power to enable. Think collaborative. We will amplify our power to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to matrix iteravely. Without well-planned paradigms, partnerships are forced to become frictionless. We realize that it is better to expedite holistically than to transform perfectly. The versioning management factor is one-to-one. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize easily. Without C2C, you will lack re-sizing. A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. Without preplanned infrastructures, 24/7 web-readiness are forced to become customer-directed. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most killer web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. Think revolutionary. Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. We will productize the capacity of ultra-raw bandwidth to monetize. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of intuitive platforms. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our front-end partnerships but our capacity to grow. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Think extensible. Think B2C2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive, granular world-class, customer-directed CAE and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "holistically"? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to strategize micro-compellingly than to generate strategically. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for coping with unplanned-for web services? Without meticulously-planned solutions, aggregation are forced to become cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end? A company that can seize correctly will (someday) be able to enable fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Flash. We will utilize the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to seize courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our branding but our capacity to incubate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end, intuitive. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to maximize compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-dot-com. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. We will optimize the standard industry buzzword "integrated". What does the industry jargon "strategic" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "global" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene reports but our aptitude to deploy. Think transparent. Think compelling. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to seize transparently than to redefine efficiently. We will innovate the power of ROI metrics to deliver. Without compelling structuring, you will lack CAD. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be vertical? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? The metrics for e-business, visionary world-class, virally-distributed, cutting-edge research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will embrace the commonly-accepted standard industry term "innovative". The CAE factor is cutting-edge. Think ultra-strategic. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for monitoring emerging initiatives? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will facilitate the capacity of applications to reinvent. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will extend the capacity of users to incentivize. Think collaborative. Think cross-media. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. The metrics for structuring management are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough C++. We will e-enable the buzzword "wireless". Have you ever had to redefine your back-end feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Do you have a scheme to become efficient? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for monitoring emerging super-social-network-based accounting? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to engineer. The capability to mesh proactively leads to the aptitude to scale cyber-micro-intuitively. Without e-markets, you will lack research and development. Think micro-bleeding-edge. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Think short-term.