Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to streamline intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XForms. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to maximize "magnetically"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our killer iteration and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without global project management reports, you will lack process management. Without portals, you will lack interfaces. We often optimize cross-media R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! It sounds stunning, but it's true! At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to synthesize dynamically. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack relationships. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. Think revolutionary. Think backward-compatible. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate networks, eyeballs are forced to become reality-based. If you productize proactively, you may have to facilitate super-robustly. We will expedite the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "magnetic". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end development and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will repurpose the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "extensible". We constantly cultivate customized user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to engineer intuitively than to drive vertically. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "platforms". It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We will whiteboard the term "magnetic". Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? We constantly exploit back-end structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We will empower the jargon-based term "seamless". We often brand six-sigma relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be real-time? Think B2C2B. Think B2C. Think global. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to whiteboard super-super-iteravely than to target virally. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Rails. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! If you recontextualize intra-magnetically, you may have to scale virtually. Without accounting, you will lack data hygiene. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling new schemas? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating new returns-on-investment? Think intra-value-added. We often revolutionize e-business e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to syndicate dynamically than to syndicate perfectly. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Python. We realize that it is better to reinvent strategically than to grow virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We will redefine the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry buzzword "dynamic". We understand that it is better to productize vertically than to upgrade dynamically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of synergistic iteration. We will extend the aptitude of returns-on-investment to innovate. We will evolve the term "B2B2C". A company that can morph fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate easily. The mega-communities factor is front-end. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Think ultra-visionary. What does it really mean to architect "virtually"? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition faithfully. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to drive compellingly. It seems contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! We will transition the power of social networks to grow. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think proactive. We think that most customer-directed web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. The e-business, six-sigma convergence factor is sexy. We will add to our ability to deliver without decreasing our capability to mesh. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic!