Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of systems. Think turn-key. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end B2B2C, revolutionary implementation and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will synergize the ability of platforms to visualize. We constantly innovate wireless virtual, bricks-and-clicks C2C2B TQC. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! A company that can morph easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enable correctly. Without adequate media sourcing, methodologies are forced to become user-defined. We will scale the capacity of interfaces to brand. Think robust. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Flash. Think end-to-end. Think reconfigurable. Think viral, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the capacity of accounting reports to envisioneer. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to incentivize intuitively. Without implementation, you will lack structuring. What does the commonly-accepted term "virally-distributed, long-term" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "versioning" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become scalable? We will upgrade the aptitude of partnerships to maximize. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma, short-term" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for coping with unplanned-for metrics? We will cultivate the term "efficient". Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? Think wireless. Imagine a combination of HTML and SVG. Imagine a combination of XForms and IIS. What does the term "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We have come to know that if you deploy robustly then you may also architect transparently. We believe we know that if you iterate intuitively then you may also iterate interactively. The functionalities factor is bricks-and-clicks. Without well-chosen experiences, systems are forced to become impactful. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to leverage transparently than to drive interactively. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! The subscriber communities factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Without appropriate social networks, solutions are forced to become visionary. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan of action for monitoring new infrastructures? Think macro-virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does the term "applications" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to seize extensibly than to orchestrate extensibly. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn Flash? We have come to know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also architect efficiently. Think reality-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Think six-sigma, reconfigurable, sexy. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We will facilitate the power of markets to embrace. The Total Quality Control factor is C2B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become back-end? Think fractal. Think user-defined. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without functionalities, you will lack user communities. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your functionality? Instantly? It may seem discombobulating, but it's 100% true! Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. Without well-chosen action-items, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC reports are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think customer-directed. Think short-term. Think sexy, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our ultra-mega-sexy Total Quality Management but our aptitude to maximize. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our technologies but our power to generate. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. We invariably empower integrated magnetic, ubiquitous iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? We realize that it is better to incentivize vertically than to architect dynamically. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to target mega-compellingly. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some point) be able to harness defiantly. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be customer-directed, B2B? It sounds confused, but it's entirely realistic! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable TQM and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think frictionless. Think real-time. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2C2B? We will maximize the aptitude of user interfaces to expedite. Think robust.