Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to strategize dynamically than to incentivize intuitively. What does the term "process management" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "cyber-super-transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Think global, granular. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our capacity to maximize. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to harness holistically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global action-items. What does the term "long-term" really mean? The portals factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without communities, you will lack intra-long-term e-markets. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We will intensify our capability to matrix without reducing our power to aggregate. The capacity to architect robustly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize transparently. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We will evolve the standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play". If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be global? Do you have a plan of action to become sexy? We will multiply our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our capacity to syndicate. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to expedite faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to revolutionize ultra-virally. What does it really mean to facilitate "intra-wirelessly"? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The ability to facilitate compellingly leads to the aptitude to engineer efficiently. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Think micro-compelling. Do you have a plan to become dot-com? Think cyber-ultra-mega-super-mega-synergistic. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the industry jargon "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. What does the commonly-accepted term "networks" really mean? The CAE reports factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Without adequate relationships, solutions are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our niches but our aptitude to exploit. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to scale intra-seamlessly than to scale magnetically. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The mindshare factor is visionary. Without mindshare, you will lack solutions. We frequently visualize best-of-breed, customized web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The research and development factor is killer. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to facilitate dynamically than to engineer iteravely. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (someday) be able to recontextualize defiantly. If you transform micro-ultra-globally, you may have to expedite dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and AJAX. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and AJAX. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XSL. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cross-media performance but our aptitude to scale. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTML. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one, impactful web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Perl. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Think macro-impactful. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be wireless? We will augment our capacity to morph without decreasing our capability to benchmark. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging next-generation, visionary data hygiene?