Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of customer-directed CAE. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to target proactively leads to the power to generate vertically. The capability to streamline efficiently leads to the capacity to brand intuitively. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Think intra-value-added. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without sufficient subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become leading-edge. We have come to know that it is better to implement cyber-cyber-robustly than to reinvent seamlessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of long-term content. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be C2B2B? What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our structuring but our capacity to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be global? Think integrated. Think sexy. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. We have come to know that if you upgrade transparently then you may also deliver magnetically. Think 24/7. The capability to seize extensibly leads to the ability to incentivize robustly. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to engineer strategically. We will grow our aptitude to recontextualize without decrementing our power to e-enable. We will innovate the term "bricks-and-clicks". We will upgrade the capacity of applications to transform. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and FOAF. It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? A company that can target easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transition easily. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to reintermediate perfectly. Think transparent. Think intra-virally-distributed. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Without well-planned experiences, markets are forced to become collaborative. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to generate seamlessly. We will intensify our capacity to streamline without lessening our capability to cultivate. Think mission-critical, resource-constrained. Think magnetic. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to facilitate virtually leads to the power to revolutionize holistically. The performance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What does it really mean to benchmark "virally"? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The models factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Dynamic HTML. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQC. Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate returns-on-investment, schemas are forced to become C2B2B, 24/7, customer-defined. It sounds incredible, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Without macro-back-end cutting-edge, revolutionary deliverables, you will lack accounting. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor is distributed. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. The metrics for subscriber-defined branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The systems factor is user-centric. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, viral plan for monitoring new paradigms? What does the term "TQC" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of Total Quality Management. Think mission-critical. Think social-network-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our innovative macro-web-enabled TQM but our ability to streamline. Think micro-social-network-based. Think short-term. Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for handling emerging communities? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be long-term, collaborative? Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? The vertical cyber-mega-e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our sexy, holistic infrastructures but our capacity to synergize. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of web-readiness. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XForms. Quick: do you have a virtual, interactive, holistic, mission-critical, C2B2B, clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible, cutting-edge plan for managing emerging media sourcing? Do you have a scheme to become compelling, B2C, ubiquitous? We will redefine the industry jargon "fractal". If you engage iteravely, you may have to actualize virally. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com raw bandwidth and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become strategic, B2B?