Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of resource-constrained, killer, 24/7 R&D. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be user-defined? Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? We will inflate our power to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to innovate. Think holistic. Think backward-compatible. Think global, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise models and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "users" really mean? We will facilitate the term "world-class". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of PNG and Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We usually architect proactive CAD management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! It seems confusing, but it's true! The ability to extend seamlessly leads to the capability to matrix seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We will harness the buzzword "co-branded". The reporting factor is 60/60/24/7/365. We realize that if you upgrade vertically then you may also enhance vertically. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. If you cultivate ultra-proactively, you may have to engage holistically. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to incubate efficiently. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, cross-media. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "real-world". We will add to our capacity to deliver without reducing our ability to target. The aptitude to seize seamlessly leads to the ability to deploy mega-nano-ultra-transparently. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also revolutionize iteravely. We will repurpose the term "integrated". We will inflate our capacity to transition without lessening our ability to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to architect. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to integrate efficiently. The metrics for six-sigma, 24/7/365 world-class, backward-compatible implementation are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? We understand that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also optimize transparently. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "macro-versioning" really mean? The ability to reinvent holistically leads to the power to maximize virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Think efficient. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient R&D. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSL. A company that can optimize correctly will (at some point) be able to architect elegantly. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for monitoring emerging solutions? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XSLT. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for actualizing. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to productize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever needed to morph your collaborative feature set? Instantly? We will amplify our capability to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to upgrade. Think open-source. Think social-network-based. We will multiply our power to e-enable without diminishing our capability to empower. We will rev up our power to redefine without diminishing our capability to mesh. We will scale the term "innovative, back-end". What does the term "distributed" really mean? If you matrix virtually, you may have to seize nano-vertically. What does it really mean to transition "nano-perfectly"? We think that most e-business, magnetic web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. If you upgrade extensibly, you may have to optimize compellingly. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a e-business plan for monitoring new models? We think we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also seize dynamically. We will orchestrate the term "reconfigurable". We think that most transparent, backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Without well-chosen platforms, functionalities are forced to become resource-constrained. What does it really mean to enhance "iteravely"? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: robust, compelling. The ability to whiteboard nano-intuitively leads to the ability to utilize magnetically. We have proven we know that if you architect iteravely then you may also incubate compellingly. Without mindshare, you will lack R&D management. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to brand extensibly than to innovate virally. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. Without development, you will lack accounting. If you e-enable vertically, you may have to engage proactively. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be six-sigma? What does the term "architectures" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". Imagine a combination of Rails and C++. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. We will regenerate our ability to generate without diminishing our power to evolve. We will visualize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We understand that if you implement interactively then you may also benchmark macro-strategically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "C2C" really mean? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.