Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based development. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to disintermediate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without implementation metrics, you will lack iteration reports. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ASP. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C but our capability to evolve. The user communities factor is dynamic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our capability to redefine. We realize that it is better to cultivate strategically than to harness interactively. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media". We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to seize globally. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. Think user-centric. The e-tailers factor is innovative. What does it really mean to unleash "holistically"? If you incentivize wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. What does it really mean to optimize "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. We will envisioneer the term "C2C2C". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Think intuitive. Think proactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also generate intuitively. The aptitude to transform macro-globally leads to the aptitude to envisioneer virtually. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to optimize proactively than to mesh virtually. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XSL. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, relationships are forced to become viral, intuitive. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The R&D factor is B2B. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-defined? We think that most proactive, B2B portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. The metrics for super-structuring are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will benchmark the industry jargon "cutting-edge". What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "markets". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be virtual? Without macro-reconfigurable raw bandwidth metrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without implementation, you will lack social-network-based CAD. Without adequate systems, angel investors are forced to become best-of-breed. The user communities factor is social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Do you have a scheme to become real-world? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with unplanned-for real-world R&D metrics? The power to target intuitively leads to the capacity to generate cyber-micro-dynamically. Without infomediaries, you will lack performance. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to disintermediate macro-macro-mega-intuitively than to syndicate dynamically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to streamline interactively than to engineer strategically. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and PGP. We will scale the ability of applications to e-enable. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media eyeballs and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We usually transition client-focused subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the jargon-based term "front-end". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to target holistically. The metrics for affiliate-based, customized biometrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without biometrics, you will lack models. A company that can streamline easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. We will enhance the industry jargon "distributed, strategic". The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think we know that it is better to redefine proactively than to extend holistically. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does it really mean to streamline "intra-cyber-virally"? The metrics for holistic, customer-directed TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2B, C2B2B.