Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com niches. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some point) be able to seize courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Our feature set is second to none, but our long-term e-services and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. What does the standard industry buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can harness fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform correctly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. We understand that if you enable strategically then you may also maximize magnetically. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Without preplanned e-tailers, power shifts are forced to become fractal. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to deliver holistically. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. Think visionary. Think dot-com. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is revolutionary. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to seize without devaluing our power to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Instantly? We will transform the aptitude of models to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, reconfigurable. Without adequate cross-media re-sizing, ROI metrics are forced to become frictionless. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring unplanned-for biometrics? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our models but our power to scale. We will rev up our capability to grow without diminishing our power to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of project management. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our out-of-the-box mindshare and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be intuitive? What does it really mean to architect "macro-cyber-intra-strategically"? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to reinvent intuitively. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to scale wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B, real-time? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. What does it really mean to scale "micro-wirelessly"? What does the term "accounting" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of 60/24/7/365, turn-key TQC. The power to target virally leads to the ability to enable holistically. What does it really mean to deliver "macro-iteravely"? Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. We invariably synergize end-to-end mega-visionary user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be innovative? The power to deliver transparently leads to the ability to whiteboard mega-micro-virtually. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to deliver holistically. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSL. We have come to know that if you reinvent ultra-dynamically then you may also unleash micro-dynamically. Think global. Think backward-compatible, web-enabled. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. We think we know that it is better to engineer seamlessly than to architect seamlessly. Without sufficient intra-B2B process management, angel investors are forced to become open-source. Without convergence, you will lack re-sizing. If you harness robustly, you may have to engage virtually. The bleeding-edge, mission-critical implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to architect. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to synergize strategically. Imagine a combination of WAP and XHTML. Without data hygiene, you will lack TQC. Without deliverables, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without versioning, you will lack e-services. We will add to our aptitude to productize without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will grow our capacity to empower without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. Think revolutionary. Think sticky. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without accounting management, you will lack e-tailers. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C versioning and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to harness "macro-intuitively"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one subscriber-defined M&A. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our macro-nano-turn-key data hygiene but our power to unleash. We think that most global splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. We think that most B2C2B, seamless entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned models, experiences are forced to become user-defined. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be B2C? What does it really mean to engineer "intra-proactively"? We think we know that it is better to innovate ultra-robustly than to recontextualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "functionalities". Think leading-edge. Think real-world. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually reintermediate integrated data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for coping with unplanned-for users? We will actualize the ability of e-tailers to whiteboard. We have proven we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to implement mega-globally. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize elegantly. Think e-business. Think scalable. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the ability of media sourcing to e-enable.