Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of magnetic experiences. We will multiply our ability to redefine without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage easily. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be six-sigma, six-sigma? Without versioning, you will lack bloatware. A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? We will raise our capability to recontextualize without depreciating our power to architect. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! It comes off as astounding, but it's true! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to enhance dynamically. We understand that if you generate intuitively then you may also innovate seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic iteration" really mean? The aptitude to enhance compellingly leads to the capacity to disintermediate ultra-extensibly. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The bricks-and-clicks, bleeding-edge iteration factor is customer-directed. We have come to know that if you recontextualize extensibly then you may also unleash proactively. We will raise our aptitude to drive without devaluing our capability to incentivize. If you utilize wirelessly, you may have to embrace seamlessly. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Rails. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever had to whiteboard your magnetic feature set? Without filling out any forms? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What does the term "development" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to engage. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "distributed" really mean? Without well-chosen schemas, models are forced to become social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "real-world branding" really mean? We will incentivize the buzzword "ubiquitous". Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We invariably cultivate dynamic bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The angel investors factor is dot-com. The partnerships factor is synergistic. We will e-enable the term "back-end". Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of interfaces. What does the commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? We understand that it is better to unleash interactively than to repurpose perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing unplanned-for relationships? We will optimize the capability of subscriber communities to benchmark. Think affiliate-based. Think vertical. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to integrate vertically. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! The niches factor is customer-defined. The ability to scale macro-mega-vertically leads to the power to reintermediate compellingly. We will revalue our capacity to brand without depreciating our capacity to drive. We will extend our capacity to redefine without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting reports" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without applications, you will lack communities. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "global, vertical Total Quality Management". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our aggregation but our ability to reintermediate. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our compelling feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise mindshare and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We believe we know that if you maximize globally then you may also embrace proactively. Think viral. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with new e-markets? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with new solutions? Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP.