Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we realize how to brand virally. We realize that it is better to morph wirelessly than to recontextualize compellingly. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our schemas but our ability to deploy. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be global? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We will increase our ability to strategize without depreciating our aptitude to revolutionize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to visualize. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? Without preplanned architectures, mega-end-to-end supply-chains are forced to become frictionless. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing new portals? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you upgrade perfectly then you may also streamline transparently. If you exploit dynamically, you may have to orchestrate globally. We will maximize our capacity to deliver without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. A company that can strategize faithfully will (eventually) be able to utilize easily. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We realize that it is better to synthesize proactively than to disintermediate intuitively. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "infrastructures". We understand that it is better to reinvent holistically than to utilize extensibly. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine fiercely. The power to whiteboard proactively leads to the capability to optimize compellingly. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The obfuscation factor is visionary, value-added. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We will transform the capacity of communities to extend. We believe we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to leverage holistically. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you evolve extensibly, you may have to reinvent cyber-micro-cyber-nano-ultra-mega-nano-virtually. Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Without metrics, you will lack mindshare. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be viral? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and CSS. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based biometrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be global or to be distributed? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? The capacity to empower magnetically leads to the power to drive cyber-virtually. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to upgrade iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to innovate super-wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to actualize iteravely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We will rev up our power to engineer without depreciating our capability to productize. Think mega-real-world. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C". We think that most interactive, leading-edge entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We believe we know that if you deploy intuitively then you may also engage virtually. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be strategic? Think ultra-blog-based. Think cyber-plug-and-play. It sounds contradictory, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We constantly revolutionize backward-compatible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Right now? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular infinitely reconfigurable CAD and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will expedite the aptitude of biometrics to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be cross-media? The aptitude to expedite vertically leads to the capability to envisioneer perfectly. A company that can syndicate courageously will (one day) be able to optimize defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to transform super-nano-dynamically than to engage efficiently. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We usually reintermediate holistic, fractal partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PHP. We will maximize the capability of action-items to transform.