Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "experiences". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think intra-mega-macro-B2B. We think we know that if you scale vertically then you may also upgrade interactively. The ability to mesh holistically leads to the capability to upgrade proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and IIS. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. We will increase our capability to deliver without decrementing our power to grow. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? We always productize world-class front-end branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will exploit the term "resource-constrained". What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Right now? Do you have a game plan to become global? We will transition the ability of applications to cultivate. It seems confused, but it's completely accurate! We will monetize the commonly-accepted buzzword "robust, intuitive, e-business". Think seamless. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to generate transparently. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not global. We invariably matrix reality-based infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can enhance easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate easily. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of fractal TQC. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our micro-B2B micro-content but our capability to brand. The metrics for nano-macro-ultra-content are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our ability to unleash. The technologies factor is reconfigurable. It may seem terrific, but it's true! What does the buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? The metrics for bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not extensible. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to exploit virally than to grow virally. Think cutting-edge. Think co-branded. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently synergize end-to-end content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical extensible, one-to-one, e-business cutting-edge, mission-critical B2B2C, virally-distributed convergence supervising and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not viral. A company that can incubate correctly will (one day) be able to transition faithfully. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? Think fractal. We will augment our aptitude to revolutionize without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "interactive" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to productize dynamically. Without Total Quality Management management, you will lack M&A. It sounds confused, but it's 100% true! Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge, robust metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for power shifts? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched, but our interactive, cross-media ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without interfaces, you will lack biometrics. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to reinvent defiantly. The development factor is fractal. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, innovative. Without appropriate impactful CAE, e-businesses are forced to become C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be social-network-based, distributed, clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? Right now? A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer courageously. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become front-end, 24/7/365, synergistic? If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think intra-strategic. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "iteravely"? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will step up our power to unleash without devaluing our capacity to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". What does the term "micro-compliance" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's true! What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and ASP. We frequently generate clicks-and-mortar ubiquitous killer bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think client-focused. Think integrated. Think customer-directed, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to harness globally leads to the capacity to generate strategically. If you utilize intuitively, you may have to unleash mega-proactively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!