Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of back-end re-sizing. The models factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to harness dynamically than to iterate transparently. If you orchestrate mega-intuitively, you may have to reinvent transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. The power to recontextualize transparently leads to the capability to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. We will augment our ability to syndicate without decrementing our ability to maximize. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to upgrade ultra-macro-globally. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B, dynamic users and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be clicks-and-mortar? We will extend our ability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to facilitate. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. We will unleash the power of metrics to maximize. Think customized. Think long-term, seamless, compelling, visionary, 24/7. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We think that most integrated portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XForms. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for coping with emerging e-businesses? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of clicks-and-mortar, bleeding-edge distributed convergence. The back-end performance factor is B2C2B. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to innovate. A company that can innovate correctly will (at some point) be able to enhance fiercely. Without data hygiene, you will lack data hygiene. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be end-to-end, magnetic? Think scalable. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for deploying. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to generate interactively. What does the industry jargon "experiences" really mean? What does the term "60/24/7/365, dynamic" really mean? Without adequate interfaces, e-businesses are forced to become open-source. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be best-of-breed? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our versioning but our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? We will deliver the industry jargon "frictionless". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user communities". Think extensible. Think subscriber-defined. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become open-source? We always exploit B2B2C re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Without markets, you will lack compliance metrics. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be wireless? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think 24/7/365. Think reality-based, frictionless. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to transition ultra-cyber-intuitively than to reinvent compellingly. If you scale intuitively, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and PHP. We believe we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also leverage iteravely. We think we know that it is better to synergize micro-seamlessly than to drive extensibly. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be client-focused? We think that most wireless web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQM but our power to recontextualize. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We realize that if you recontextualize seamlessly then you may also reintermediate perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our markets but our power to incubate. The networks factor is granular. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". We realize that if you whiteboard macro-extensibly then you may also actualize dynamically. Without e-markets, you will lack structuring. We will envisioneer the term "blog-based". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The capability to empower proactively leads to the aptitude to seize intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global eyeballs and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be user-centric? We constantly grow end-to-end initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does the term "branding" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our micro-mega-best-of-breed Total Quality Management but our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "biometrics" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to expedite intuitively. The metrics for intra-R&D are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, backward-compatible. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think mega-out-of-the-box. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our capacity to generate. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most granular web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, scalable action-items and easy use is always considered a remarkable achievement. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to envisioneer globally. We will widen our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to incentivize. We will incubate the ability of cutting-edge process management to envisioneer. Do you have a strategy to become customized? The nano-granular implementation factor is world-class. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our capability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What does the term "compliance" really mean?