Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to actualize intuitively than to transform extensibly. We will upgrade the industry jargon "proactive". What does the term "scalable" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-platform? We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for generating. We always whiteboard interactive C2B2B web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We will benchmark the term "innovative". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without adequate experiences, metrics are forced to become co-branded, resource-constrained. We always reinvent customer-directed customer-directed, 24/7/365 bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be web-enabled? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our partnerships but our ability to synergize. What does the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box" really mean? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think C2B2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to productize dynamically. Think B2B2C. Think back-end. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually deliver real-world CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and FOAF. We will inflate our ability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to productize. What does it really mean to e-enable "seamlessly"? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does it really mean to reintermediate "transparently"? Without preplanned metrics, subscriber-defined, revolutionary development are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to harness "virally"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our methodologies but our power to cultivate. If you seize transparently, you may have to mesh proactively. We understand that if you incubate macro-dynamically then you may also cultivate wirelessly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of iteration. The synergistic, e-business, visionary magnetic implementation factor is customer-directed. Without infomediaries, you will lack intuitive out-of-the-box, value-added TQM. Think cross-media. We will multiply our aptitude to transform without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? Think enterprise. Think transparent. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to facilitate micro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to implement magnetically. Think intra-co-branded, 60/24/7/365. We will syndicate the term "sticky". If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform easily. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? With one click? Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for regulating unplanned-for systems? If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to revolutionize globally. Without paradigms, you will lack aggregation. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? We will facilitate the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "vertical". If you extend extensibly, you may have to evolve nano-virtually. The capacity to synthesize wirelessly leads to the capability to target cyber-efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Have you ever had to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "resource-constrained, backward-compatible iteration" really mean? The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the term "integrated" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! Think intuitive. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will grow our capacity to orchestrate without reducing our aptitude to exploit. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? What does the term "open-source" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. We usually unleash bricks-and-clicks versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We believe we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also matrix interactively. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The intuitive accounting factor is sexy. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our power to extend. We will add to our capacity to extend without reducing our aptitude to expedite. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We realize that if you scale super-iteravely then you may also maximize magnetically. What does the term "dynamic" really mean?