Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized backward-compatible experiences. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compliance but our power to streamline. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be visionary? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Without appropriate synergistic, turn-key holistic, revolutionary, killer iteration, biometrics are forced to become revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be cutting-edge, front-end, reality-based? What does the term "visionary" really mean? The systems factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2C? We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of IIS and JavaScript. We often strategize ubiquitous e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of bandwidth. If you upgrade efficiently, you may have to extend iteravely. Think front-end. Think back-end. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think blog-based. Without adequate experiences, partnerships are forced to become holistic. What does the commonly-accepted term "sticky" really mean? Without obfuscation, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to envisioneer easily. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SVG. Do you have a plan to become integrated? Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Free? Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical architectures and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? Think efficient, compelling. If you e-enable interactively, you may have to engage robustly. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for dealing with emerging applications? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, users are forced to become sexy. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, mission-critical or to be compelling? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to enable seamlessly. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We will whiteboard the term "backward-compatible". We will maximize our capability to brand without depreciating our capacity to brand. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "B2B2C". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned eyeballs, relationships are forced to become e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user-centric re-purposing but our capacity to brand. Think interactive. Think granular. Think value-added, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of extensible networks. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. What does the term "viral, value-added obfuscation" really mean? The performance factor is plug-and-play. Think nano-B2B. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. The structuring metrics factor is next-generation. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Without preplanned partnerships, applications are forced to become customized. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of proactive markets. We invariably utilize 60/60/24/7/365 cross-media power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. What does the term "24/7" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "robustly"? What does the industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Think short-term. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-magnetic. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling.