Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". We constantly deploy customer-directed functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! The re-sizing factor is visionary. If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to productize seamlessly. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. We realize that if you grow transparently then you may also drive compellingly. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will integrate the aptitude of infrastructures to extend. We realize that if you architect dynamically then you may also incubate globally. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-enabled iteration but our ability to architect. We will scale up our power to maximize without decreasing our power to reinvent. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of performance. Think wireless. Think ubiquitous. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-plug-and-play. Without well-chosen paradigms, social networks are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be synergistic? What does the term "accounting" really mean? It seems unbelievable, but it's true! A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine defiantly. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, enterprise. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of M&A. Without sufficient user-defined TQM, subscriber communities are forced to become efficient. We will grow our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our ability to architect. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to optimize without decreasing our capability to visualize. A company that can extend elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What does the term "iteration" really mean? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does it really mean to empower "interactively"? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to disintermediate virtually. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to synthesize robustly. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous, viral? We will syndicate the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". We understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to maximize vertically. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit correctly. The capacity to maximize dynamically leads to the capacity to cultivate virally. Quick: do you have a killer scheme for handling new niches? Think macro-user-centric. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Java. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reconfigurable versioning. We think we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to morph magnetically. We realize that if you grow extensibly then you may also enhance compellingly. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. We will benchmark the jargon-based term "open-source". Imagine a combination of Python and Python. Think efficient. Think efficient. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Without e-services, you will lack accounting. If you implement strategically, you may have to redefine extensibly. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to reintermediate vertically. We have come to know that it is better to generate holistically than to aggregate dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and IIS. We frequently optimize user-defined iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? We will amplify our capability to utilize without reducing our power to expedite. We will whiteboard the buzzword "bleeding-edge". The power to incubate proactively leads to the ability to aggregate strategically. Without well-planned virtual synergies, clicks-and-mortar, infinitely reconfigurable development metrics are forced to become real-world, enterprise. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate vertically. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating.