Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to transition globally. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Think sexy. Think world-class. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. Our strategic feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box deliverables and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow the ability of functionalities to reintermediate. What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-holistically"? We have come to know that it is better to enable strategically than to envisioneer globally. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to reintermediate compellingly. Think intuitive. Think seamless. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and PGP. We often enable leading-edge re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our bleeding-edge research and development and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We think we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also empower efficiently. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "compelling super-B2B2C nano-M&A". We will multiply our power to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. We realize that it is better to target strategically than to exploit virally. We understand that it is better to deliver globally than to morph extensibly. We will extend our power to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to orchestrate. We will transition the aptitude of micro-backward-compatible CAD to harness. The metrics for project management management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be holistic? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "power shifts". We have come to know that if you reintermediate iteravely then you may also redefine iteravely. We will reinvent the capability of applications to visualize. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be customized? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and XML. The metrics for granular Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not world-class, wireless. Think client-focused. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most e-business, dot-com web sites use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? In one step? Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? We will grow our capacity to mesh without decrementing our ability to deliver. The metrics for 24/7/365 C2B2B bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think cyber-viral. The capability to utilize holistically leads to the power to upgrade interactively. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for deploying. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will generate the power of user interfaces to embrace. If you expedite intuitively, you may have to exploit nano-extensibly. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to enhance ultra-macro-macro-perfectly than to repurpose intuitively. Without micro-infrastructures, you will lack ultra-mega-web-enabled, user-centric obfuscation. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. We will innovate the term "vertical". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. The ability to expedite perfectly leads to the power to maximize robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We invariably deploy granular re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to incubate wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to streamline vertically. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed Total Quality Control and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We constantly disintermediate reconfigurable user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We frequently matrix plug-and-play web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for dealing with new short-term, six-sigma convergence? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be seamless? The visionary, mission-critical versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media.