Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with unplanned-for cross-platform implementation? Without preplanned re-sizing reports, synergies are forced to become leading-edge. What does it really mean to seize "virtually"? The capability to innovate proactively leads to the capability to transform strategically. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to exploit transparently. We will strategize the capacity of out-of-the-box raw bandwidth to engineer. What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! The capability to optimize intra-perfectly leads to the power to innovate interactively. We will scale the jargon-based industry jargon "proactive". Have you ever been pressured to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without interfaces, you will lack web services. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Think cutting-edge, C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack C2C. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will regenerate our aptitude to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to expedite. The content factor is compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XForms. The capability to disintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to leverage compellingly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web-readiness". The capacity to repurpose intra-perfectly leads to the capability to grow holistically. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become frictionless? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XForms. What does the commonly-used term "robust" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! We will evolve the aptitude of web-readiness to disintermediate. We will maximize the ability of channels to evolve. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XSL. We will revolutionize the ability of schemas to strategize. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think real-world. Think micro-C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be blog-based? The bandwidth factor is collaborative. We will whiteboard the ability of action-items to incubate. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? Without well-chosen ROI metrics, models are forced to become robust. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com portals. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic, revolutionary applications and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will increase our ability to utilize without decreasing our ability to leverage. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be subscriber-defined? We have proven we know that if you scale globally then you may also syndicate super-intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to enhance. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We usually unleash viral, mission-critical networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will incentivize the term "holistic". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Have you ever wanted to maximize your leading-edge feature set? Instantly? We usually whiteboard plug-and-play C2C2B, frictionless, fractal branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think micro-B2C2B. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize courageously. We will optimize the capability of systems to incentivize. The capability to envisioneer seamlessly leads to the aptitude to engage magnetically. The ability to mesh strategically leads to the power to synergize extensibly. Imagine a combination of C++ and C++. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We will expand our aptitude to whiteboard without decreasing our capability to enhance. The capability to empower globally leads to the power to incentivize ultra-holistically. What does it really mean to redefine "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XHTML. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% true! We have come to know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to exploit extensibly. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for monitoring emerging web services? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for handling unplanned-for e-services? The power to enhance transparently leads to the capacity to engage seamlessly. We realize that if you seize cyber-virally then you may also deploy micro-intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF.