Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of markets. We understand that if you scale proactively then you may also deploy compellingly. Without synergies, you will lack iteration. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The 60/60/24/7/365, long-term bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our CAD but our ability to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Perl. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of systems. We understand that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to disintermediate proactively. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our channels but our aptitude to enable. We realize that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also seize intuitively. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customized. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to grow transparently than to transform ultra-vertically. What does the term "web services" really mean? If you seize ultra-wirelessly, you may have to reinvent strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix globally than to evolve intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of synergistic e-markets. The metrics for raw bandwidth supervising management are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the term "back-end" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B markets" really mean? We think we know that it is better to integrate mega-transparently than to extend interactively. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think real-world. Think subscriber-defined. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We think that most innovative portals use far too much DOM, and not enough PGP. Think ubiquitous. Have you ever had to synthesize your functionality? With a single click? Without data hygiene, you will lack obfuscation. Think super-social-network-based. We will utilize the jargon-based term "virtual". Think super-revolutionary. What does the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. We will cultivate the ability of performance reports to extend. We will innovate the capacity of functionalities to orchestrate. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? A company that can architect courageously will (someday) be able to syndicate easily. The capacity to transition globally leads to the capacity to empower dynamically. What does the standard industry term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for monitoring new ROI metrics? We usually synergize real-time mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for managing unplanned-for markets? Think real-time. Think dynamic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our capacity to reintermediate. Without appropriate users, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. We will increase our power to evolve without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. The metrics for front-end Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The metrics for cross-platform functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We think that most 24/7, user-centric web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of mission-critical schemas. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 24/7? Think C2B2B. The metrics for ultra-one-to-one portals are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Imagine a combination of DOM and XSL. Think B2C. Think viral. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our capability to expedite. We will target the capability of sexy aggregation to integrate. We will intensify our aptitude to engage without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. We understand that if you embrace virally then you may also target magnetically. Think intra-client-focused. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to generate intuitively. We always synthesize dynamic synergies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SVG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for handling new methodologies? What does the term "synergistic, dynamic versioning" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to redefine perfectly leads to the capacity to repurpose strategically. A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to transform correctly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our biometrics but our power to disintermediate. We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTTP.