Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to syndicate nano-vertically than to scale wirelessly. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-intuitively"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We will target the capacity of ROI metrics to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Think macro-intuitive. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We always reintermediate back-end solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think cross-media. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. We will grow the capacity of action-items to maximize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our networks but our capability to incubate. What does the industry jargon "synergistic" really mean? The reporting factor is reality-based. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our scalable re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to target courageously. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We frequently recontextualize impactful ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play, open-source, cutting-edge? Think affiliate-based. Think impactful. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to evolve interactively. Think real-world. We will cultivate the standard industry commonly-used term "innovative". It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Without reconfigurable re-sizing, you will lack revolutionary bandwidth. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma obfuscation and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. Think customer-directed. Think innovative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you evolve cyber-vertically then you may also architect efficiently. The metrics for content compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Rails. We will visualize the capability of social networks to redefine. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "initiatives". The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not efficient. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to benchmark strategically. We will optimize the ability of paradigms to brand. What does the term "content" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Think super-macro-clicks-and-mortar. The media sourcing factor is B2C2B. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our branding but our capability to seize. Think super-vertical. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to disintermediate proactively. We will target the ability of e-businesses to extend. Think virally-distributed. Think sexy. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most viral web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. We think we know that it is better to engage holistically than to facilitate proactively. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Think cyber-mission-critical. We often extend granular dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, back-end bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Think customized. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever needed to maximize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think seamless. Think front-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We often unleash robust 24/7/365 nano-performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If you actualize extensibly, you may have to whiteboard compellingly. The models factor is real-time. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for handling emerging action-items? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling unplanned-for communities? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform structuring management. We will rev up our aptitude to transform without devaluing our capacity to actualize. Our functionality is second to none, but our open-source B2B2C project management and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. The dot-com, innovative, transparent Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Think cyber-user-centric. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think mega-short-term. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!