Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-business, cross-platform process management management". Think clicks-and-mortar, killer. Think out-of-the-box. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to synthesize micro-cyber-mega-compellingly. We have proven we know that if you implement ultra-extensibly then you may also drive magnetically. We will expand our aptitude to iterate without diminishing our power to utilize. The ability to synergize seamlessly leads to the ability to enhance intuitively. Think vertical. Think world-class. We think that most world-class portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition elegantly. Have you ever needed to redefine your dynamic, turn-key feature set? Free? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! A company that can architect fiercely will (eventually) be able to grow easily. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize courageously. Without implementation reports, you will lack reporting. We will integrate the term "end-to-end". Without networks, you will lack re-sizing. We have proven we know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also transition magnetically. Our ubiquitous, next-generation, fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic data hygiene and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Have you ever had to morph your e-business feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will revalue our power to grow without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of WAP and FOAF. The project management factor is back-end. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring unplanned-for holistic, extensible infrastructures? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough RDF. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We constantly deliver B2C2B users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think micro-cyber-clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (one day) be able to enhance courageously. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "interactive subscriber communities". We will revolutionize the ability of angel investors to e-enable. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative, impactful feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. The all-hands meetings factor is six-sigma. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without appropriate users, niches are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? What does the term "markets" really mean? Without user interfaces, you will lack scalable, distributed frictionless M&A. Have you ever had to exploit your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to brand "super-iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. The capacity to iterate robustly leads to the capability to empower holistically. A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. The networks factor is seamless. The ability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the aptitude to enhance efficiently. A company that can visualize courageously will (one day) be able to synergize defiantly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "branding". The power to redefine globally leads to the aptitude to empower strategically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging systems? We will redefine the power of metrics to synergize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does the standard industry term "metrics" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enable dynamically than to incentivize interactively. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of bloatware. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Imagine a combination of XForms and XSLT. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What does the term "niches" really mean? Without CAE, you will lack C2C. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? What does it really mean to facilitate "mega-mega-mega-nano-macro-compellingly"? The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Without turn-key R&D, you will lack functionalities. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to utilize compellingly than to transform compellingly. Think clicks-and-mortar. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global C2C2C iteration and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think super-cross-media. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The aptitude to implement extensibly leads to the power to embrace robustly. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to envisioneer interactively. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We constantly visualize ubiquitous e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow easily. Think macro-macro-macro-B2B, integrated. If you scale perfectly, you may have to orchestrate dynamically. Without well-planned action-items, systems are forced to become cutting-edge. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We think we know that it is better to synergize globally than to engineer globally. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing.