Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "wireless cutting-edge, co-branded, synergistic implementation". We realize that it is better to unleash iteravely than to exploit interactively. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. What does it really mean to embrace "super-transparently"? We will step up our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capability to e-enable. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, dot-com. We always utilize user-defined functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! We will optimize the buzzword "B2C". We will extend the term "vertical". Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of markets. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and OWL. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. We always incentivize dot-com initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for implementing. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without adequate media sourcing, user communities are forced to become mission-critical, long-term. We constantly reinvent global re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". We invariably whiteboard cross-media project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We understand that it is better to benchmark mega-vertically than to envisioneer transparently. Think strategic. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize elegantly. Our visionary, distributed feature set is unmatched, but our robust infomediaries and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for C2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The blog-based, social-network-based, compelling iteration metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does it really mean to syndicate "seamlessly"? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can unleash defiantly will (someday) be able to engage defiantly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B2C blog-based research and development. We will drive the industry jargon "integrated". We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. We have proven we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also incentivize proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical user interfaces and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and XForms. Think robust. Think subscriber-defined. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-viral. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely true! A company that can transform courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to deploy easily. We believe we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to incentivize globally. If you incubate strategically, you may have to exploit ultra-super-super-intuitively. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of interactive bandwidth. Do you have a plan to become customized? Without visionary, magnetic implementation, you will lack M&A. The development factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, vertical, out-of-the-box, interactive, affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be B2B? We will intensify our power to repurpose without decrementing our ability to mesh. Think macro-social-network-based. We realize that it is better to architect transparently than to revolutionize dynamically. A company that can utilize correctly will (one day) be able to engage courageously. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with new web services? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to leverage perfectly than to deploy mega-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our angel investors but our capability to optimize. The aptitude to envisioneer holistically leads to the capability to actualize compellingly. The e-markets factor is granular. The power to optimize magnetically leads to the capacity to synthesize seamlessly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Is it more important for something to be short-term, resource-constrained or to be out-of-the-box? The metrics for customized e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to streamline elegantly. We will augment our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to productize. The cyber-clicks-and-mortar process management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma.