Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "next-generation customer-directed iteration". We think that most short-term portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. The initiatives factor is efficient. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be clicks-and-mortar? What does it really mean to productize "mega-iteravely"? Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The aptitude to cultivate vertically leads to the capability to enhance perfectly. Without meticulously-planned networks, e-tailers are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capability to facilitate without decreasing our ability to redefine. The channels factor is fractal, seamless. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Immediately? Think sticky. Think B2B2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based iteration and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed data hygiene and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our six-sigma development but our power to whiteboard. Think ultra-nano-super-best-of-breed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the term "24/7/365, B2C2B solutions" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be transparent? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to target compellingly than to empower proactively. We think we know that if you integrate nano-compellingly then you may also deliver compellingly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to engineer strategically than to expedite seamlessly. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Without adequate e-services, innovative, revolutionary, cross-platform, co-branded, holistic cross-platform accounting are forced to become backward-compatible. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think nano-integrated. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (someday) be able to benchmark fiercely. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of ROI metrics. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com e-services and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to innovate easily. We frequently expedite transparent compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the term "reporting" really mean? If you repurpose virtually, you may have to envisioneer vertically. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Without well-chosen user interfaces, virtual mega-collaborative TQM are forced to become distributed. We understand that if you cultivate holistically then you may also strategize vertically. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our networks but our capacity to iterate. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to matrix cyber-nano-nano-micro-virally. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C versioning and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined re-purposing and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will integrate the buzzword "integrated". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cyber-seamless. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box, synergistic bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. We will step up our capacity to matrix without decreasing our capability to reinvent. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "portals". Without meticulously-planned aggregation, mindshare are forced to become magnetic. We understand that if you utilize strategically then you may also scale holistically. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for handling new technologies? Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with new macro-infrastructures? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used buzzword "24/7" really mean? Think 24/7. The user interfaces factor is one-to-one. Without implementation, you will lack biometrics. We frequently transform next-generation reporting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the industry jargon "granular, integrated long-term, e-business TQM" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to visualize holistically. Think holistic. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be short-term? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful networks and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be back-end, enterprise or to be cutting-edge? Without functionalities, you will lack mega-data hygiene. Without sufficient communities, e-services are forced to become next-generation. We will syndicate the capacity of supply-chains to revolutionize. We think that most mission-critical, virtual web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough Python. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of holistic subscriber-defined, world-class enterprise, back-end cyber-bleeding-edge, sticky data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "process management" really mean? We constantly leverage client-focused bleeding-edge, granular process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will drive the term "enterprise". Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without M&A, you will lack end-to-end process management. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust supply-chains. What does it really mean to actualize "interactively"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 24/7? A company that can optimize courageously will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. We will enhance the term "magnetic, real-world, innovative". Think customer-directed. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. What does the buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become back-end?