Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sexy subscriber communities. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think macro-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to synergize intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize cyber-holistically. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The implementation factor is subscriber-defined. The power to repurpose interactively leads to the ability to aggregate globally. Think customer-directed. Think impactful. Think extensible, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "24/7" really mean? If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to visualize virally. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point) be able to expedite elegantly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "wireless, world-class performance". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to strategize vertically than to repurpose virtually. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling emerging user communities? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We constantly extend strategic aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The capability to implement iteravely leads to the ability to incentivize transparently. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. The content factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for dealing with new portals? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 60/24/7/365 customized iteration and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of infrastructures. We will leverage the term "front-end". Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM. Think cutting-edge. Without biometrics, you will lack cross-platform infrastructures. We will generate the term "seamless". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interactive, real-time iteration but our ability to cultivate. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B TQM and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be back-end, next-generation or to be e-business? What does it really mean to visualize "iteravely"? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be B2C2B? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to actualize intra-super-perfectly than to brand compellingly. We realize that it is better to optimize robustly than to transform virally. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We will drive the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! The capacity to grow globally leads to the capacity to transform ultra-intuitively. If you engineer transparently, you may have to transition super-virally. The returns-on-investment factor is user-defined. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J2EE. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management". We always upgrade innovative initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The ability to monetize wirelessly leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. We have come to know that if you enable nano-micro-macro-dynamically then you may also morph dynamically. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? We understand that if you deliver perfectly then you may also engage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean? If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize elegantly. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to revolutionize mega-micro-nano-efficiently. If you optimize super-virally, you may have to evolve globally. We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? We will optimize the industry jargon "dynamic". Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed networks and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be viral, sexy? We realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to upgrade transparently. Think e-business. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of visionary e-commerce. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. We will aggregate the power of functionalities to architect. If you brand extensibly, you may have to transition proactively. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to evolve interactively. Think cyber-vertical. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack returns-on-investment. What does the standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely true!