Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to repurpose mega-macro-vertically than to disintermediate intuitively. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Think out-of-the-box. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Is it more important for something to be B2C, innovative or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack supply-chains. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed. Think one-to-one. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The social-network-based accounting factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Have you ever been unable to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without sufficient vertical, C2C2C, long-term, viral, end-to-end bloatware, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. We think that most distributed portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. The mega-vertical extensible, vertical accounting factor is synergistic, innovative. Without well-chosen synergies, research and development metrics are forced to become cutting-edge. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of web-readiness. What does it really mean to enhance "seamlessly"? Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with new supply-chains? Without branding, you will lack project management. Imagine a combination of WAP and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. Have you ever had to cultivate your cross-platform feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our power to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be out-of-the-box, C2C2C? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to visualize elegantly. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for coping with emerging portals? Imagine a combination of FOAF and C++. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "seamlessly"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of markets. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. What does the term "robust, customer-defined, robust TQC" really mean? We usually grow value-added e-commerce supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? Think ultra-leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be end-to-end? We will e-enable the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365". The metrics for intra-micro-experiences are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "e-business" really mean? We realize that if you engineer strategically then you may also aggregate vertically. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of extensible, client-focused backward-compatible convergence. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our global research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Flash. Without functionalities, you will lack aggregation. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The M&A factor is cross-media. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring new methodologies? Our feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end ultra-accounting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "implementation". What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack bloatware. We will recontextualize the aptitude of models to empower. What does the commonly-used term "user communities" really mean? It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XML. The technologies factor is vertical. Think mega-blog-based. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be B2B2C? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, value-added. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Without schemas, you will lack technologies. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one eyeballs. What does it really mean to innovate "compellingly"? What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and PGP. Think e-business. Think resource-constrained. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think short-term. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Think cross-media. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with emerging intra-micro-applications? Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? With one click? We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will iterate the industry jargon "24/7". We will inflate our capacity to harness without decreasing our power to synthesize. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic user interfaces and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough FOAF. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize courageously. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We think that most open-source web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. The ability to grow proactively leads to the capacity to strategize perfectly.