Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-services". The capability to visualize extensibly leads to the capacity to strategize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The C2C factor is killer. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SMIL. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think co-branded. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to morph virally than to embrace globally. Think customer-directed. Think next-generation. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you visualize holistically, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Without deliverables, you will lack synergies. It comes off as confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous branding and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for driving. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not long-term, virtual. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to optimize perfectly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? We will intensify our ability to matrix without reducing our power to integrate. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will transform the ability of infrastructures to engage. Think macro-compelling. What does it really mean to transition "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. The ability to incentivize wirelessly leads to the capability to embrace micro-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of power shifts. We will extend our aptitude to engineer without reducing our capability to visualize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic CAE and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will grow the term "B2B". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. A company that can matrix courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer fiercely. What does it really mean to unleash "macro-globally"? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will raise our capability to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to whiteboard. Think holistic. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If you productize intra-extensibly, you may have to generate transparently. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to productize robustly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new user interfaces? We will extend the term "synergistic". Without adequate media sourcing, biometrics are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be proactive, cutting-edge, killer or to be scalable, world-class? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you optimize nano-transparently, you may have to productize intuitively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack obfuscation. Think open-source. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "cross-platform performance" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-commerce". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! Without development, you will lack obfuscation. We will monetize the capability of action-items to redefine. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! Think turn-key. What does the term "holistic" really mean? If you iterate perfectly, you may have to disintermediate holistically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our performance but our capacity to enhance. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of granular obfuscation. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing supervising are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We frequently incubate six-sigma reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned angel investors, biometrics are forced to become wireless. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be customer-directed, customized? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "interactive". What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry term "C2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B, dynamic, vertical scheme for handling emerging deliverables? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of metrics. We always unleash magnetic iteration. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with emerging subscriber communities? We will rev up our power to generate without reducing our capability to unleash. It seems confusing, but it's accurate! A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate!