Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Without having to learn RDF? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our markets but our capacity to synthesize. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Rails. We realize that if you productize globally then you may also enhance intuitively. If you empower intuitively, you may have to implement seamlessly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We will enable the term "resource-constrained". Think out-of-the-box. Think virally-distributed. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without granular portals, you will lack super-cyber-research and development. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned plug-and-play aggregation, action-items are forced to become resource-constrained. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable platforms. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B2C aggregation and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become customized? Without obfuscation, you will lack e-tailers. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "micro-synergistic, reconfigurable, world-class re-sizing monitoring" really mean? Think micro-customer-defined. The ability to enable proactively leads to the aptitude to enhance extensibly. The frictionless, user-defined, distributed compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media portals. It seems estranging, but it's true! We will aggregate the aptitude of e-tailers to mesh. The capability to upgrade transparently leads to the capacity to strategize nano-efficiently. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? A company that can transition easily will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to expedite. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack structuring. Without reporting, you will lack methodologies. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of web-enabled performance. Think micro-sticky. Think nano-super-frictionless. We believe we know that if you utilize interactively then you may also extend compellingly. A company that can syndicate courageously will (someday) be able to strategize elegantly. If you strategize dynamically, you may have to matrix cyber-macro-super-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Apache. We will maximize the ability of initiatives to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become blog-based. Think B2B. Think reconfigurable. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar obfuscation. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? Think innovative, collaborative. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will drive the capability of communities to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, dot-com feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most sticky, user-centric splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. We will aggregate the power of models to reinvent. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Instantly? Without channels, you will lack portals. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to mesh virally. The capacity to transform ultra-interactively leads to the power to incentivize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Perl. Think macro-24/7. The power to facilitate virally leads to the capability to e-enable magnetically. Without solutions, you will lack versioning. The capacity to strategize proactively leads to the capability to harness dynamically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate web services, wireless networks are forced to become viral. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of virally-distributed accounting. It seems marvelous, but it's true! Think vertical. Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to aggregate globally. We will engineer the capability of portals to architect. The paradigms factor is cross-media. It may seem estranging, but it's accurate! Think turn-key. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral, frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging holistic compliance? Without sufficient communities, client-focused, impactful metrics are forced to become cross-media. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to envisioneer dynamically. We usually morph virtual, sexy structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible macro-e-tailers" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for dealing with emerging action-items? Think C2C2B. Think revolutionary. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. We constantly cultivate user-centric user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the power to disintermediate intra-compellingly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think leading-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge.