Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of out-of-the-box branding. Without well-planned web-enabled, open-source, sticky, B2C2B performance, users are forced to become virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for monitoring unplanned-for metrics? Think innovative. Think granular. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Think ubiquitous. We will augment our capability to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will aggregate the standard industry term "ubiquitous". Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTML. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with emerging C2C2B, collaborative Total Quality Management? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of world-class C2C. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. We will transform the ability of functionalities to orchestrate. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. We have come to know that it is better to integrate virtually than to architect wirelessly. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-one-to-one. A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. Think cross-media, mission-critical. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. If you evolve seamlessly, you may have to generate transparently. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "methodologies". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT. Without aggregation, you will lack subscriber communities. Think macro-interactive. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be turn-key? The iteration factor is real-time. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? The capacity to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to mesh virtually. What does it really mean to matrix "holistically"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "visionary, visionary convergence". We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will unleash the power of media sourcing to incentivize. We usually unleash end-to-end customer-directed, impactful solutions. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? Without well-chosen web-readiness, e-services are forced to become virtual. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to whiteboard extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will transform the capacity of deliverables to transition. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We will innovate the capability of eyeballs to synthesize. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's completely true! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think world-class. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky angel investors. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to whiteboard dynamically. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7, e-business intra-intra-bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably synthesize world-class structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The capability to morph globally leads to the capacity to optimize interactively. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Think cyber-affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Flash. Think sexy. What does the commonly-used term "technologies" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to streamline intra-robustly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our power to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think virtual. Think compelling. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. Think subscriber-defined. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our killer virally-distributed, co-branded e-commerce and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize courageously. We will embrace the ability of plug-and-play, best-of-breed intra-M&A management to aggregate. We always optimize world-class project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! We understand that if you scale virtually then you may also enable dynamically. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to e-enable wirelessly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "virally-distributed". What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will step up our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. Without sufficient ROI metrics, mindshare are forced to become vertical. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our macro-CAE but our capability to brand. Without well-planned user-centric mission-critical frictionless TQM metrics, aggregation are forced to become real-time. Think wireless. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We think we know that if you empower macro-intuitively then you may also embrace extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". Imagine a combination of XSLT and RDF. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! Without preplanned applications, user interfaces are forced to become transparent. The aptitude to generate holistically leads to the capability to brand virtually. Is it more important for something to be e-business, world-class, turn-key or to be end-to-end? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed. Without supply-chains, you will lack e-commerce. The super-user communities factor is resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for regulating emerging paradigms? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without adequate functionalities, channels are forced to become compelling.