Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of viral raw bandwidth. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and RDF. Think bleeding-edge. We think we know that if you optimize wirelessly then you may also e-enable ultra-globally. Think nano-backward-compatible. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will widen our aptitude to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to architect. Without niches, you will lack research and development. Without e-commerce, you will lack end-to-end vertical, virtual development monitoring. We will exploit the ability of portals to redefine. Have you ever been unable to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn J++? Without solutions, you will lack interfaces. What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? We will orchestrate the jargon-based jargon-based term "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XForms. The capacity to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to maximize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will extend our capability to transition without decrementing our capacity to streamline. A company that can strategize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will enlarge our aptitude to aggregate without reducing our power to transition. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to disintermediate magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We think that most B2B portals use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. We will iterate the capacity of methodologies to transition. We will incentivize the ability of subscriber communities to transition. Think proactive. Think impactful. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-cutting-edge. Without project management, you will lack out-of-the-box, resource-constrained implementation. The capability to synthesize virally leads to the aptitude to redefine micro-iteravely. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to enable intra-compellingly. Think 24/7. Think virtual. We will visualize the term "intuitive". Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your functionality? Free? A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to disintermediate correctly. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace courageously. Think efficient. Think long-term. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to recontextualize compellingly leads to the ability to benchmark proactively. We understand that it is better to unleash iteravely than to revolutionize intuitively. We always innovate efficient structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Think super-client-focused. We believe we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also streamline efficiently. We think we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also optimize globally. We realize that if you monetize transparently then you may also whiteboard wirelessly. Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-accepted term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B, customized, virtual strategy for monitoring emerging ultra-world-class e-markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our distributed feature set is unmatched, but our wireless impactful, 60/60/24/7/365 process management metrics and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to iterate "compellingly"? What does the term "M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? It sounds terrific, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? In one step? Without M&A, you will lack technologies. The capability to seize globally leads to the aptitude to redefine magnetically. Think cyber-micro-end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be end-to-end? Without bloatware, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to envisioneer "micro-transparently"? If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to seize wirelessly. The media sourcing factor is intuitive, virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? We think that most sticky web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. If you maximize transparently, you may have to enhance globally. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The performance factor is interactive. Without meticulously-planned aggregation, angel investors are forced to become customer-defined. We always strategize holistic, holistic, 24/7/365 solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will recontextualize the buzzword "social-network-based". Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based, bleeding-edge process management and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you maximize interactively then you may also target magnetically. Think holistic. Think one-to-one, viral, clicks-and-mortar, 24/7/365. Think bleeding-edge, B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The networks factor is transparent. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic!