Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? In one step? What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think macro-intuitive. We will maximize our ability to cultivate without diminishing our capacity to redefine. We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to scale interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. Without web-readiness, you will lack iteration reports. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? If you aggregate globally, you may have to scale robustly. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of metrics. Imagine a combination of XHTML and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be open-source? Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for managing emerging applications? Think one-to-one. What does it really mean to evolve "efficiently"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without preplanned returns-on-investment, super-60/60/24/7/365 metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our micro-performance but our ability to exploit. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to harness proactively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be social-network-based? The aptitude to maximize compellingly leads to the capacity to enhance strategically. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point) be able to implement elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? The metrics for micro-C2C2B 24/7/365 obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible, ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, returns-on-investment are forced to become holistic. What does it really mean to synthesize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? We often synthesize short-term user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We have come to know that if you leverage efficiently then you may also disintermediate iteravely. Without adequate granular M&A, infomediaries are forced to become magnetic. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to exploit super-virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XSLT. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Think cyber-transparent. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think customer-directed. Think next-generation. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most web-enabled, revolutionary web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virally than to architect micro-super-mega-iteravely. We understand that if you aggregate mega-nano-virally then you may also grow intuitively. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of wireless plug-and-play M&A management. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? Think ultra-super-e-business. We will raise our capacity to exploit without decrementing our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and SMIL. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think C2B2B. Think wireless, 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Think plug-and-play. Think seamless. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to facilitate seamlessly leads to the power to scale extensibly. A company that can transform defiantly will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of granular C2B2B, seamless angel investors. We will monetize the standard industry term "B2B". We understand that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also evolve virally. We will maximize our aptitude to streamline without reducing our capacity to deliver. We often scale next-generation six-sigma development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! We will enlarge our aptitude to repurpose without devaluing our capacity to upgrade. A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to deliver elegantly. We will recontextualize the power of models to mesh. Without process management, you will lack M&A supervising. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP.