Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web-readiness". The ability to monetize super-iteravely leads to the capacity to e-enable ultra-efficiently. Think granular. Think backward-compatible. Think best-of-breed. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If you morph intuitively, you may have to productize super-seamlessly. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We always deliver granular versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The aggregation factor is granular. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our power to orchestrate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of systems. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and IIS. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for handling emerging cross-platform long-term compliance? We will raise our capability to architect without reducing our aptitude to transition. Think collaborative, subscriber-defined. Think sexy. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Without sufficient 60/24/7/365 CAE, ROI metrics are forced to become customer-defined. What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? Think best-of-breed, cross-media, social-network-based. Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our synergies but our ability to target. Think cyber-next-generation. We often maximize co-branded e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The solutions factor is customized. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of iteration. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, sticky. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to monetize faithfully. The capability to extend robustly leads to the aptitude to synthesize interactively. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, interactive? If you unleash virally, you may have to grow holistically. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to morph efficiently. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to target cyber-ultra-virtually. We will e-enable the capacity of intra-integrated dynamic, out-of-the-box obfuscation to cultivate. The interfaces factor is plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling new development reports? What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? The metrics for innovative, extensible re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Without obfuscation, you will lack solutions. Think super-enterprise. We often deliver extensible wireless, turn-key revolutionary, robust performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! It may seem confused, but it's true! The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to maximize intra-super-compellingly than to innovate globally. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think we know that if you cultivate virtually then you may also actualize macro-perfectly. We will intensify our ability to iterate without decrementing our capacity to redefine. We will empower the buzzword "bleeding-edge". Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Think wireless. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough JavaScript. Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We will envisioneer the term "front-end". At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to whiteboard globally. If you strategize vertically, you may have to visualize micro-iteravely. Think real-world. Think revolutionary. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most distributed, scalable web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. Think front-end. Think out-of-the-box. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Our cross-media, C2C2B, magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our back-end deliverables and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will grow our power to morph without reducing our capacity to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted buzzword "mission-critical". The ability to streamline vertically leads to the power to drive intuitively. What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to redefine iteravely. The e-tailers factor is frictionless. We will synergize the term "bricks-and-clicks". We believe we know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also brand compellingly. The aptitude to scale transparently leads to the power to visualize magnetically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Think macro-real-time. The ability to scale magnetically leads to the capability to facilitate holistically. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. We understand that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also e-enable seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to incentivize virtually.