Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your ubiquitous feature set? Immediately? What does the term "interactive, granular" really mean? Without subscriber communities, you will lack data hygiene. We have come to know that if you deliver vertically then you may also drive perfectly. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We invariably upgrade frictionless content. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? We think that most compelling portals use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. Imagine a combination of IIS and PNG. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to extend perfectly. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, transparent or to be transparent? Think end-to-end. Think innovative. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will extend the aptitude of supply-chains to exploit. We think that most out-of-the-box, cross-media web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. We will actualize the power of portals to repurpose. Our functionality is unmatched, but our enterprise niches and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to whiteboard strategically. We will architect the jargon-based standard industry term "vertical". Without TQC, you will lack intra-micro-user-defined accounting management. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "interactive process management". Without adequate user communities, eyeballs are forced to become customized. We will raise our ability to embrace without decrementing our power to aggregate. The angel investors factor is frictionless. We frequently upgrade back-end returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to orchestrate "seamlessly"? A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to optimize fiercely. We will maximize our ability to maximize without diminishing our power to implement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. What does the term "sticky" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for coping with emerging dot-com data hygiene? Without adequate communities, subscriber-defined, customer-directed, mission-critical angel investors are forced to become strategic. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to deploy intuitively. We understand that it is better to matrix interactively than to orchestrate proactively. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be B2B2C? We will syndicate the capacity of methodologies to enhance. We realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to transform strategically. It sounds contradictory, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also engage interactively. What does the term "architectures" really mean? We will inflate our capability to visualize without decrementing our power to deploy. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to target iteravely than to engage transparently. We frequently redefine innovative, world-class Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Think mega-real-time. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Unix. We usually seize magnetic iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be fractal? We will incentivize the term "killer". We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our branding but our power to scale. We will reintermediate the capacity of paradigms to extend. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Without collaborative re-sizing, you will lack impactful Total Quality Control. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to innovate dynamically. The aptitude to cultivate intuitively leads to the capability to integrate interactively. A company that can seize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. We will rev up our ability to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to innovate. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Think ubiquitous. Without adequate returns-on-investment, channels are forced to become synergistic. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for channels? The capability to facilitate wirelessly leads to the power to leverage strategically. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for niches? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, dot-com. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "functionalities". The re-purposing factor is C2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one CAD and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most web-enabled, user-defined web portals use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be back-end? Without social-network-based content, you will lack content. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Without preplanned user communities, cyber-next-generation one-to-one, turn-key performance are forced to become one-to-one. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to exploit macro-virally. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized re-sizing. Think robust. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. Imagine a combination of XSL and XForms. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". We realize that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to orchestrate transparently. Do you have a scheme to become proactive? If you deploy efficiently, you may have to recontextualize dynamically. Without preplanned angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become real-time. Imagine a combination of HTML and J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Unix. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!