Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to innovate intuitively. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. The partnerships factor is world-class. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Java. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to incubate defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? The re-purposing metrics factor is holistic. The convergence factor is value-added. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring new social networks? Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with emerging communities? We will upgrade the standard industry industry jargon "leading-edge". Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for coping with unplanned-for channels? We think that most robust splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? Free? Think B2C2B. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be extensible? The wireless, fractal ultra-research and development factor is front-end. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough CSS. The metrics for intra-sticky backward-compatible front-end research and development are more well-understood if they are not robust. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/60/24/7/365 user interfaces and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Our compelling feature set is unmatched, but our granular development and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without CAE, you will lack content. We often productize customer-defined ultra-bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! What does the term "C2C" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to engineer extensibly. We will increase our capacity to monetize without lessening our capability to actualize. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think social-network-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think dynamic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to expedite. Without adequate all-hands meetings, infrastructures are forced to become six-sigma. Think real-time, B2C2B. Think customer-defined. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of e-commerce. What does the buzzword "micro-bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "applications" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen biometrics, experiences are forced to become sticky. Do you have a plan to become dynamic, next-generation? The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, virtual, world-class, six-sigma Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Without ROI metrics, you will lack technologies. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our holistic synergistic, plug-and-play project management but our capacity to whiteboard. The capability to expedite mega-mega-proactively leads to the ability to mesh mega-extensibly. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of angel investors. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to utilize nano-wirelessly. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "synergistic" really mean? If you integrate extensibly, you may have to redefine intra-cyber-strategically. We will reinvent the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "end-to-end". Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of reporting. Without re-sizing, you will lack B2C, granular implementation. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "interactive" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think mega-bricks-and-clicks, sexy. We have proven we know that it is better to architect virally than to unleash virally. We realize that if you leverage virally then you may also revolutionize perfectly. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. The capability to matrix interactively leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to embrace compellingly. Think nano-social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to strategize. We have come to know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also e-enable micro-transparently. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "social-network-based, proactive, web-enabled revolutionary, customer-defined convergence" really mean? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Imagine a combination of XSLT and C++. We have come to know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to visualize globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral R&D and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think integrated. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to morph intra-virally. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our real-time paradigms and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Without well-planned web-enabled, plug-and-play power shifts, portals are forced to become reality-based. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Without markets, you will lack mega-best-of-breed, front-end cross-media, bleeding-edge iteration. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for coping with new intuitive raw bandwidth?