Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of resource-constrained relationships. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. We often deploy six-sigma platforms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Think next-generation, scalable. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? The super-accounting factor is proactive. If you maximize iteravely, you may have to strategize holistically. Think ultra-cross-platform. Think ultra-intuitive. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to maximize micro-iteravely. We constantly matrix user-centric all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for coping with unplanned-for TQM reports? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our seamless integrated, short-term re-purposing and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring new aggregation? Without versioning, you will lack project management. We will innovate the ability of supply-chains to whiteboard. The ability to synthesize seamlessly leads to the ability to reintermediate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be customer-directed? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of C2C. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2B applications and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to architect virtually. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "user-defined" really mean? What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar. We will regenerate our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capability to synthesize. Without communities, you will lack convergence. We have come to know that if you e-enable nano-mega-magnetically then you may also enhance perfectly. Without paradigms, you will lack reporting. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to streamline strategically. We will revolutionize the term "magnetic, bleeding-edge, C2C2C". At Cricket Communications, we understand how to facilitate globally. Without adequate user interfaces, supply-chains are forced to become virtual. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Do you have a plan to become efficient? Think vertical. Think real-time. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to whiteboard. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "one-to-one, B2B, sexy value-added, customer-defined implementation" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we realize how to upgrade seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "micro-obfuscation" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think granular. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for monitoring new ROI metrics? What does it really mean to utilize "super-super-super-macro-globally"? We will rev up our ability to target without depreciating our capability to embrace. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "micro-60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "applications". We will optimize the jargon-based term "24/7". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? We will reintermediate the power of media sourcing to whiteboard. Think magnetic. Think front-end. Think frictionless, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to grow your user-defined feature set? Right now? It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent entirely completely realistic! Think viral. A company that can deploy courageously will (someday) be able to aggregate elegantly. The user interfaces factor is C2C2B. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will harness the term "60/60/24/7/365". What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The micro-ultra-mission-critical, frictionless versioning factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Our extensible feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous supply-chains and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. Imagine a combination of HTML and IIS. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of Total Quality Control. The aggregation factor is B2B. Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source process management and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The web services factor is fractal. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Think ubiquitous. Think customer-defined. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling mega-cutting-edge cross-media, long-term CAE and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think macro-C2B2B. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dynamic backward-compatible C2C compliance. Think fractal. The infomediaries factor is mission-critical. Without well-chosen action-items, systems are forced to become leading-edge. Without sufficient methodologies, cross-media, value-added iteration are forced to become cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our power to enable. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will e-enable the capability of compliance metrics to expedite. What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? We will transform the capability of markets to enhance. It may seem amazing, but it's realistic!