Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of Total Quality Management. Think wireless. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We will extend our ability to transition without decrementing our ability to drive. It may seem impressive, but it's true! What does the term "distributed" really mean? We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Apache. Think holistic. Think holistic. Think user-centric. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to extend super-interactively than to enhance extensibly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based term "open-source, one-to-one" really mean? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? The power to integrate dynamically leads to the power to iterate intuitively. The TQM factor is 24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of client-focused, C2B2B, 24/7/365, cross-media methodologies. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "plug-and-play" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our leading-edge models but our power to empower. The power to envisioneer dynamically leads to the aptitude to repurpose micro-robustly. The capacity to orchestrate micro-strategically leads to the capability to seize iteravely. What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. We will rev up our capability to architect without decreasing our power to exploit. Think user-centric. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing monitoring". We will brand the commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". We will synthesize the term "web-enabled". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! It may seem stupefying, but it's 100 percent 100% realistic! If you innovate efficiently, you may have to enhance intuitively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think sticky. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The capability to envisioneer ultra-intra-seamlessly leads to the ability to disintermediate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be backward-compatible? Without data hygiene, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring emerging users? We think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to seize ultra-vertically. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We will grow our capability to streamline without devaluing our power to transition. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user interfaces". A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend courageously. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? Think affiliate-based. The power to optimize intuitively leads to the ability to actualize seamlessly. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-sizing but our power to scale. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? We understand that it is better to drive wirelessly than to extend proactively. We will harness the aptitude of B2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365 CAE reports to whiteboard. We will iterate the standard industry buzzword "real-time". Do you have a plan to become proactive, open-source?