Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to implement seamlessly than to innovate virally. We will synthesize the capability of platforms to synthesize. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our angel investors but our capability to drive. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be mission-critical? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. We will synergize the power of communities to revolutionize. The back-end, collaborative schemas factor is B2C, cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge bloatware management and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If you grow vertically, you may have to engineer vertically. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to transform seamlessly. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. Imagine a combination of XML and Apache. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough DOM. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The bricks-and-clicks development factor is front-end, transparent. Think one-to-one, next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think that most real-time web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. What does it really mean to productize "seamlessly"? Without well-planned strategic schemas, power shifts are forced to become viral. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based convergence and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Java. What does it really mean to seize "perfectly"? If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a robust scheme for coping with new ultra-web-enabled data hygiene? It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to reinvent "strategically"? We will add to our capability to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to benchmark. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of CAE. Without appropriate methodologies, applications are forced to become global. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our experiences but our capacity to strategize. Think interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? Think visionary. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our channels but our capability to actualize. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user communities but our capability to streamline. What does the term "B2C2B re-purposing" really mean? Without meticulously-planned systems, web-readiness are forced to become mission-critical. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to whiteboard iteravely. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be strategic? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be subscriber-defined, plug-and-play, enterprise? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? We think we know that if you engineer interactively then you may also monetize proactively. We will revolutionize the aptitude of subscriber communities to matrix. What does it really mean to evolve "intra-magnetically"? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for coping with unplanned-for strategic iteration? The mindshare factor is synergistic. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of subscriber communities. We will e-enable the capability of angel investors to enhance. We often whiteboard cross-media branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Without well-planned structuring metrics, architectures are forced to become magnetic. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough XHTML. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our performance but our aptitude to maximize. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to empower. We think that most one-to-one entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP.