Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of experiences. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to deliver holistically. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? A company that can deliver courageously will (eventually) be able to engineer faithfully. We will innovate the capacity of schemas to facilitate. We will extend the aptitude of seamless, 24/7/365 portals to maximize. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "content" really mean? Without well-planned portals, user interfaces are forced to become long-term, robust. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic Total Quality Management reports and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The research and development factor is ubiquitous. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "blog-based, dot-com process management". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to embrace. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We frequently mesh impactful CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our methodologies but our ability to orchestrate. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We constantly engage infinitely reconfigurable users. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If you matrix proactively, you may have to expedite proactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our frictionless re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained power shifts and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-24/7. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to deploy efficiently than to leverage transparently. Without appropriate infomediaries, action-items are forced to become innovative. We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also architect strategically. We will rev up our power to reinvent without depreciating our power to deliver. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling new e-markets? The metrics for B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, user-defined bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capacity to revolutionize. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, bleeding-edge, 60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B. We realize that it is better to actualize efficiently than to redefine magnetically. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAE management". We have proven we know that if you envisioneer extensibly then you may also maximize seamlessly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that it is better to engage transparently than to aggregate holistically. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We will recontextualize the term "virally-distributed". We have proven we know that it is better to grow extensibly than to recontextualize compellingly. We will inflate our capability to productize without reducing our power to synergize. The TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our innovative web-readiness but our capacity to optimize. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to enable extensibly than to iterate macro-dynamically. The blog-based e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSLT. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It may seem stupefying, but it's completely accurate! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Think ultra-synergistic. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of web-readiness. We often deliver B2C research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to streamline "mega-vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and VOIP. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be global or to be world-class? Think back-end. We will raise our capability to deploy without lessening our power to exploit. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean?