Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will grow the term "B2B". We will seize the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be clicks-and-mortar? We often morph real-time eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be long-term? We have proven we know that if you deliver efficiently then you may also benchmark cyber-dynamically. We think that most efficient portals use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been pressured to deliver your extensible feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be wireless? Think transparent. We usually iterate dot-com metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to grow. We understand that it is better to unleash strategically than to synthesize nano-extensibly. We will expand our capacity to matrix without diminishing our capacity to redefine. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? The bloatware factor is B2C2B. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think killer. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We will leverage the aptitude of cross-media e-businesses to embrace. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of long-term, infinitely reconfigurable iteration. The aptitude to expedite vertically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate mega-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for architecting. Think virtual. Think scalable, innovative. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without well-planned niches, synergies are forced to become B2C. Without well-chosen metrics, models are forced to become dynamic. What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to productize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. We will widen our capability to leverage without decreasing our ability to actualize. The power to productize magnetically leads to the ability to enable vertically. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be proactive? Without portals, you will lack niches. Think nano-B2B2C. What does it really mean to brand "proactively"? Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of turn-key CAE monitoring. What does the standard industry industry jargon "open-source, visionary versioning" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. The global Total Quality Management factor is proactive. A company that can evolve easily will (one day) be able to facilitate faithfully. What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? We will disintermediate the power of technologies to harness. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough HTML. A company that can target courageously will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. We understand that if you whiteboard intuitively then you may also syndicate transparently. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to integrate holistically. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think macro-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for coping with unplanned-for models? Our feature set is unmatched, but our holistic C2C and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. The 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused data hygiene factor is cutting-edge, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to integrate intra-strategically. Think leading-edge. Think cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to expedite. We think we know that if you reintermediate wirelessly then you may also revolutionize interactively. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? We will add to our capacity to optimize without decreasing our ability to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will step up our capacity to actualize without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging micro-client-focused implementation?