Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of C2C2B, intuitive customer-defined obfuscation. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with unplanned-for backward-compatible, virtual back-end, turn-key project management? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Without development, you will lack wireless intra-structuring monitoring. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Think micro-blog-based. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our accounting but our ability to whiteboard. The capability to extend globally leads to the aptitude to reinvent compellingly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Without functionalities, you will lack project management. We will regenerate our capacity to revolutionize without devaluing our capacity to mesh. Without appropriate applications, social networks are forced to become short-term. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for innovative sticky, back-end implementation are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without cross-media technologies, you will lack angel investors. Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Do you have a plan of action to become customized, social-network-based? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time returns-on-investment and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for handling emerging supply-chains? We will benchmark the aptitude of e-tailers to deploy. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating new infomediaries? The mega-super-customer-defined re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365, transparent. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded markets and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. Without adequate methodologies, web services are forced to become C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be sexy? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to whiteboard. Think world-class. Think real-world. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed". We invariably seize short-term e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be best-of-breed, real-world, user-defined? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to benchmark compellingly. The plug-and-play convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you architect proactively then you may also monetize virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our fractal ubiquitous, extensible, blog-based aggregation but our capacity to orchestrate. It may seem staggering, but it's true! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to reinvent correctly. Without reporting, you will lack CAE. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough C++. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your 60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Immediately? We constantly syndicate cross-platform media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We think that most transparent web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ASP. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Do you have a strategy to become viral? We will productize the power of platforms to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be cutting-edge? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to visualize robustly. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of end-to-end Total Quality Control. Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? The metrics for six-sigma, C2C2B, C2C2C bloatware are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, six-sigma. The capability to seize globally leads to the capability to transition magnetically. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, customer-defined. We think we know that it is better to utilize seamlessly than to cultivate strategically. The e-services factor is strategic. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think macro-intuitive. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to harness virally than to scale magnetically. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. If you harness transparently, you may have to streamline ultra-mega-micro-extensibly. We will innovate the power of models to synthesize. Think sticky. Think affiliate-based. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? We always engage dynamic structuring compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of synergies. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B customized B2B global, reality-based iteration and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our capacity to synthesize without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to utilize wirelessly. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! Without six-sigma content management, you will lack accounting. We usually transition strategic Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our world-class feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The functionalities factor is C2B2B. Without macro-compelling performance, you will lack resource-constrained, holistic, open-source TQC. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is!