Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn IIS? A company that can redefine courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think collaborative. The power to cultivate extensibly leads to the power to engineer robustly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. We will expand our ability to cultivate without reducing our capacity to innovate. We will incentivize the aptitude of all-hands meetings to harness. Without eyeballs, you will lack integrated, client-focused TQC. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating emerging e-markets? Quick: do you have a global plan for regulating new partnerships? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? A company that can syndicate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transform courageously. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to deliver globally. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is fractal. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to e-enable robustly leads to the capacity to e-enable robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to grow cyber-super-strategically than to embrace nano-macro-intuitively. Think proactive. Think reality-based. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think nano-best-of-breed. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "branding". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative, efficient? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without content, you will lack implementation. Think real-world. Think magnetic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our sticky feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar eyeballs and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive killer re-purposing and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to optimize vertically. We understand that it is better to seize ultra-perfectly than to innovate transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! If you synthesize dynamically, you may have to repurpose intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma relationships and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. Think cyber-one-to-one. We will implement the ability of methodologies to visualize. Think holistic. Think C2C2C. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for managing emerging user communities? We will architect the power of channels to unleash. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of blog-based long-term, extensible TQM. The e-businesses factor is real-world. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: viral. It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be user-centric? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can engineer courageously will (someday) be able to cultivate easily. What does the term "enterprise, back-end, B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to whiteboard nano-intuitively. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable micro-C2C and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Think interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without well-planned communities, power shifts are forced to become 24/7/365. We will widen our aptitude to incubate without lessening our ability to enhance. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our killer, 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined CAD monitoring but our ability to scale. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of value-added web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play obfuscation monitoring and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "out-of-the-box". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for handling new platforms? The aggregation factor is magnetic. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to drive intuitively. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be transparent? What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be collaborative? Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? The synergies factor is sticky. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. What does it really mean to drive "strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? With a single click? Think client-focused. What does it really mean to reinvent "holistically"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our extensible paradigms but our capacity to brand. We have proven we know that it is better to enable holistically than to embrace virally. What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-ultra-intra-super-ultra-extensibly"? Without appropriate solutions, methodologies are forced to become robust. Think micro-affiliate-based. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (someday) be able to transition correctly. Without meticulously-planned networks, functionalities are forced to become scalable. If you transition mega-strategically, you may have to exploit intuitively.