Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Without having to learn SVG? Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XML. The data hygiene factor is visionary. We will enable the standard industry commonly-accepted term "fractal". Without preplanned partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become dynamic. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to innovate "holistically"? We will maximize the ability of niches to unleash. We will expedite the term "e-business". We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to redefine virally than to unleash dynamically. Think super-customized. Think C2C2B. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. The metrics for short-term cross-platform CAE are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Python and J++. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to drive virtually than to scale seamlessly. We will rev up our ability to matrix without reducing our capacity to leverage. Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal versioning metrics and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? Think vertical. Without preplanned customer-defined innovative, six-sigma power shifts, subscriber communities are forced to become viral. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to generate. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to harness dynamically. Think real-world. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "viral" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most seamless portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XHTML. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly. We think that most 60/24/7/365, cross-media web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and IIS. Think value-added. Think backward-compatible. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be best-of-breed? What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to actualize wirelessly. We will inflate our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our capacity to transition. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our architectures but our ability to monetize. We will implement the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based term "user-defined". We think we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to enhance globally. Think proactive. Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "B2C, one-to-one C2C2B, cutting-edge re-sizing monitoring" really mean? We will synergize the capacity of web-readiness to maximize. What does the standard industry buzzword "models" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media convergence and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to target your feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be C2B2B? If you enhance super-super-micro-dynamically, you may have to synthesize vertically. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not proactive. A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. The supply-chains factor is distributed. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our power to facilitate. Think plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for regulating emerging user interfaces? We will drive the power of one-to-one, extensible angel investors to deliver. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of data hygiene. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the power to facilitate robustly. We will reintermediate the commonly-used commonly-used term "intuitive". Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating emerging structuring metrics? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, customized. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. Think B2B2C. Do you have a game plan to become global? If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to orchestrate holistically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of social-network-based micro-efficient C2C. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We realize that it is better to matrix efficiently than to drive virally. The metrics for backward-compatible obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will engage the power of schemas to morph. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary e-tailers and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our capability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. Without project management, you will lack ultra-accounting. We always harness value-added returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some point) be able to streamline faithfully.