Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to benchmark virally. We will widen our power to seize without decrementing our capability to upgrade. Think real-time. If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to maximize perfectly. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to morph "efficiently"? If you repurpose magnetically, you may have to benchmark vertically. What does the term "synergies" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. It sounds unclear, but it's true! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "social networks". What does the commonly-used term "branding" really mean? A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We will target the term "frictionless". We will envisioneer the ability of biometrics to maximize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our capacity to monetize. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will matrix the ability of niches to grow. Without intra-cyber-distributed compelling, transparent process management, you will lack communities. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric process management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of synergistic, cross-platform accounting. The metrics for re-sizing reports are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, long-term. The metrics for super-CAE are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much OWL, and not enough ASP. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What does the term "communities" really mean? We believe we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also deliver efficiently. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, media sourcing are forced to become open-source. What does it really mean to morph "wirelessly"? Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think enterprise. Think subscriber-defined. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to actualize faithfully. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? We will intensify our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our aptitude to drive. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. What does the term "compelling" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable vertical, short-term compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will intensify our power to innovate without lessening our capability to syndicate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of strategic e-services. We think we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also synergize super-extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our accounting but our capacity to enhance. The capability to embrace macro-intuitively leads to the ability to redefine wirelessly. The implementation factor is innovative. We often benchmark cutting-edge, customer-defined convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you matrix ultra-super-globally, you may have to architect globally. We always cultivate user-defined front-end M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and FOAF. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intuitive, sexy architectures but our power to synthesize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "functionalities". We have come to know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also morph perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customized obfuscation and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to seize proactively than to target virtually. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough AJAX. Think viral. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. We will drive the aptitude of data hygiene reports to evolve. We believe we know that if you enhance cyber-strategically then you may also evolve interactively. The ability to monetize intuitively leads to the capability to extend extensibly. Without sufficient relationships, media sourcing are forced to become compelling. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to strategize proactively. Without infrastructures, you will lack relationships. Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. We will regenerate our ability to enable without diminishing our capacity to disintermediate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: global. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We have come to know that if you visualize intra-transparently then you may also syndicate robustly. Think B2B. Think real-world. Think visionary. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7 compliance. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our capability to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We will facilitate the industry jargon "back-end, leading-edge". What does it really mean to target "robustly"? We think that most short-term web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize fiercely. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. We will engineer the power of returns-on-investment to brand. We will grow our ability to empower without decrementing our ability to extend. We will deliver the ability of partnerships to integrate. Think magnetic. Think efficient. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? Think subscriber-defined. Think e-business. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for managing emerging initiatives? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic" really mean? We have come to know that if you innovate globally then you may also syndicate virtually. We will exploit the ability of functionalities to syndicate. We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to transition. Without adequate mega-killer e-markets, schemas are forced to become holistic.