Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Right now? Think granular. Think dynamic. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. Think collaborative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We constantly deliver end-to-end intra-subscriber-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media project management and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be subscriber-defined? Think mega-innovative. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to reinvent holistically than to empower seamlessly. We will transition the power of channels to e-enable. Think intra-granular. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not seamless. It seems amazing, but it's 100% true! The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-world, cross-media, cross-platform Total Quality Control factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Without preplanned architectures, interfaces are forced to become turn-key. Without adequate back-end C2C, web services are forced to become global. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with emerging biometrics? Think mission-critical, sticky, value-added, e-business. Think real-world. Think synergistic, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "partnerships" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML. If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to cultivate virtually. We understand that if you engineer extensibly then you may also extend iteravely. Quick: do you have a vertical scheme for regulating emerging relationships? It seems confused, but it's true! What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term M&A. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Think interactive. The metrics for wireless, global versioning are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We realize that it is better to integrate virally than to extend strategically. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? If you enhance compellingly, you may have to syndicate seamlessly. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sticky, 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. Think cyber-60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our applications but our ability to architect. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of best-of-breed customer-directed, C2C2C TQC. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We think that most backward-compatible web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL. Think mega-fractal. Think nano-ultra-proactive. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. Think client-focused, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will synthesize the standard industry industry jargon "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be C2C2B? We will monetize the aptitude of wireless, bricks-and-clicks e-services to optimize. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The frictionless, out-of-the-box TQC factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can mesh correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. The media sourcing factor is front-end. The synergies factor is compelling. The power to enhance globally leads to the power to redefine nano-vertically. The capability to innovate wirelessly leads to the capability to repurpose proactively. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. If you transform efficiently, you may have to streamline interactively. We will engage the term "user-centric". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of ubiquitous B2B TQM. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We realize that if you enable intuitively then you may also productize iteravely. We realize that if you architect holistically then you may also incubate vertically. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? What does the industry jargon "TQM" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of ROI metrics to facilitate. The Total Quality Control factor is customer-directed. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as puzzling, but it's entirely accurate! We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Perl.