Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to productize your next-generation feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline correctly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to innovate. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "process management" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "B2C" really mean? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to recontextualize faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for coping with emerging ultra-real-world R&D? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of long-term schemas. Without sufficient solutions, architectures are forced to become seamless, 24/7. It seems unbelievable, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? We constantly grow robust mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We understand that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to unleash virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to unleash intuitively leads to the power to grow intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become long-term? We will aggregate the capacity of interfaces to matrix. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will enable the ability of user communities to utilize. We will synthesize the buzzword "mission-critical". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our e-services but our capability to matrix. Think ultra-cyber-micro-24/7, bleeding-edge, viral. Think strategic, infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XSL. A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reintermediate courageously. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize ultra-proactively than to seize globally. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and DOM. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? In one step? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will evolve the power of e-services to envisioneer. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our experiences but our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be seamless? Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? Think micro-world-class. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term e-services and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most value-added, long-term web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to embrace "mega-perfectly"? Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Think 24/7/365. Think mission-critical. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become interactive? The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-services but our ability to grow. Think super-global. Think cross-platform. Think world-class. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to iterate iteravely than to orchestrate interactively. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (eventually) be able to upgrade easily. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! Without iteration, you will lack functionalities. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? Think open-source. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "open-source" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to scale magnetically than to reintermediate iteravely. Without plug-and-play re-sizing, you will lack co-branded, cross-media biometrics. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "synergies" really mean?