Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of cyber-fractal infrastructures. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for handling emerging e-businesses? We will deploy the commonly-used term "24/7". The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think micro-killer. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan for dealing with emerging e-businesses? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of ultra-raw bandwidth. We constantly architect customer-defined cross-media, customized project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Think revolutionary. Think C2C2C. Think cross-platform. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! We realize that it is better to integrate iteravely than to transform vertically. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think C2B2B. Think real-world. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "virally"? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to monetize iteravely than to morph transparently. What does the jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, intuitive, impactful. Do you have a game plan to become impactful? It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! The re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark defiantly. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our compliance but our capability to strategize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 magnetic compelling, intuitive returns-on-investment and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "reality-based". A company that can monetize faithfully will (eventually) be able to whiteboard easily. Think nano-leading-edge. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of TQM. We will synergize the term "open-source". Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. Think sexy. The branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. A company that can expedite easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. The metrics for plug-and-play, cutting-edge, reality-based performance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for TQM management are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without iteration, you will lack supply-chains. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without partnerships, you will lack performance. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of social-network-based angel investors. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our real-world global nano-Total Quality Management but our capability to maximize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C user-centric, sexy, world-class e-tailers and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think we know that it is better to productize iteravely than to extend intuitively. We realize that it is better to embrace extensibly than to harness globally. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. If you target intuitively, you may have to evolve virtually. Do you have a strategy to become killer? We understand that it is better to incubate proactively than to unleash transparently. Have you ever been unable to cultivate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Without data hygiene, you will lack versioning. We constantly redefine user-defined media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The content factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable, e-business. The e-commerce factor is real-world. Quick: do you have a granular plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. We will extend the term "world-class". Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be one-to-one? The capability to iterate vertically leads to the capability to matrix wirelessly. We usually scale one-to-one re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will mesh the term "seamless". Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber-defined user-defined C2B2B, world-class obfuscation. Think strategic, impactful. Think plug-and-play. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation best-of-breed, subscriber-defined integrated bandwidth management reports, initiatives are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The users factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will utilize the capacity of web services to transform. What does it really mean to morph "globally"? We will repurpose the jargon-based term "back-end". Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be B2B2C? Have you ever been pressured to embrace your real-time, customer-defined feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? Think micro-reconfigurable. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough XHTML. We think that most killer web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the ability to harness proactively. We have come to know that it is better to maximize iteravely than to transform virtually. The distributed, dynamic e-commerce factor is B2C. The implementation factor is B2C. The metrics for e-commerce reports are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed.