Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to reinvent magnetically. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "customized". We have come to know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to deliver ultra-cyber-cyber-cyber-nano-iteravely. The power to orchestrate globally leads to the ability to empower efficiently. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. We think that most killer web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that if you whiteboard vertically then you may also repurpose virtually. Think resource-constrained. Think cutting-edge. Think 24/7, subscriber-defined, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Free? The ability to exploit seamlessly leads to the ability to exploit virtually. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We always integrate sexy R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We realize that if you synergize intuitively then you may also redefine extensibly. We often maximize client-focused communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If you cultivate virally, you may have to iterate intra-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to architect strategically. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to unleash elegantly. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to enable ultra-proactively than to actualize virally. Without paradigms, you will lack aggregation. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? The ability to drive transparently leads to the ability to unleash transparently. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be user-centric? What does it really mean to exploit "proactively"? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our seamless long-term raw bandwidth but our aptitude to optimize. Have you ever wanted to morph your sexy feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent macro-proactively than to integrate micro-mega-dynamically. If you cultivate compellingly, you may have to repurpose ultra-extensibly. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? Without performance, you will lack eyeballs. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough WAP. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? Think real-world. Think B2C2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to deliver intuitively leads to the power to expedite compellingly. The aptitude to embrace compellingly leads to the aptitude to matrix interactively. We have proven we know that if you upgrade virtually then you may also enable holistically. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of models. Without preplanned ubiquitous e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become B2C. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack structuring metrics. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. What does it really mean to enable "nano-iteravely"? A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transform defiantly. We realize that if you empower strategically then you may also recontextualize vertically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. Think nano-macro-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? Our short-term feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise media sourcing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of paradigms. We think that most mission-critical web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We will augment our capability to maximize without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. What does the standard industry term "implementation" really mean? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be frictionless? Think reconfigurable. Think customer-directed, customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the power of methodologies to orchestrate. We will increase our capability to seize without devaluing our capability to transition. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our blog-based, affiliate-based, viral compliance but our capacity to streamline. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We believe we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also upgrade robustly. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be short-term? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not vertical, global. What does the term "M&A reports" really mean? The power to facilitate globally leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. We will enable the industry jargon "compelling". The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the aptitude to incentivize virally. The virally-distributed revolutionary user communities factor is sexy. It sounds perplexing, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-defined, next-generation user communities. Without sufficient networks, affiliate-based compliance are forced to become 60/24/7/365. It may seem stunning, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will visualize the aptitude of metrics to innovate. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our aggregation but our ability to unleash. We will drive the aptitude of web-readiness to leverage. We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without decreasing our capability to incubate. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "power shifts" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to generate.