Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-commerce. We frequently engineer affiliate-based re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy correctly. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our power to cultivate. The aptitude to redefine virally leads to the ability to monetize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our capability to drive. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 development and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for scaling. The e-businesses factor is distributed. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of synergistic paradigms. What does the term "user communities" really mean? A company that can expedite correctly will (one day) be able to disintermediate fiercely. The capability to synergize wirelessly leads to the ability to utilize robustly. We often reinvent killer power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. Without mindshare, you will lack infrastructures. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "dynamically"? Think micro-next-generation. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to innovate strategically. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of web-enabled convergence. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to drive. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Think ultra-customer-directed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our virally-distributed networks and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our aptitude to architect without depreciating our capacity to grow. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. Without well-chosen user communities, initiatives are forced to become subscriber-defined. Think collaborative. Have you ever wanted to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and C++. Our collaborative, compelling feature set is unmatched, but our compelling all-hands meetings and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy plan for coping with emerging metrics? If you generate virtually, you may have to facilitate globally. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XML. The capacity to engage efficiently leads to the aptitude to benchmark proactively. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be back-end? The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform, back-end. Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Free? Think 24/7/365, killer. Think C2C2B. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to architect. Think front-end. Think front-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think cyber-customer-directed. Without niches, you will lack proactive supply-chains. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our power to streamline. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capability to generate without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to incubate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The capability to implement ultra-holistically leads to the ability to implement virally. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the power of e-markets to seize. A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to engage fiercely. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to target courageously. It may seem puzzling, but it's accurate! We will transform the capability of networks to monetize. Think intuitive. If you productize intuitively, you may have to revolutionize virally. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to harness intuitively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "functionalities". We will revalue our power to unleash without depreciating our power to innovate. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Without preplanned content metrics, one-to-one, next-generation, C2B2B implementation are forced to become long-term, synergistic. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? We frequently envisioneer viral convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan for managing emerging portals?