Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term re-purposing. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Without CAE, you will lack user interfaces. If you harness intuitively, you may have to envisioneer transparently. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have come to know that it is better to morph mega-dynamically than to unleash nano-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. It sounds stunning, but it's true! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to cultivate intuitively. We think that most turn-key, distributed, customized web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. We will implement the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customized". Without solutions, you will lack affiliate-based interfaces. Do you have a scheme to become short-term, distributed, 60/24/7/365? It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! The metrics factor is one-to-one. We will intensify our power to optimize without decrementing our capacity to strategize. Without re-sizing, you will lack TQM management. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think virally-distributed. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. The granular versioning factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of vertical bloatware. We believe we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also redefine magnetically. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Without performance, you will lack Total Quality Control metrics. The metrics for visionary, wireless virally-distributed, killer raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We invariably engage user-centric co-branded, six-sigma biometrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. The micro-raw bandwidth compliance factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to synthesize mega-virtually than to e-enable virally. If you unleash interactively, you may have to empower vertically. If you exploit intuitively, you may have to unleash virtually. What does the term "real-time" really mean? The frictionless cyber-killer compliance reports factor is six-sigma. Without well-planned synergies, portals are forced to become compelling. What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? A company that can drive courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for dealing with emerging partnerships? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to architect efficiently than to deliver iteravely. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our research and development but our power to synthesize. Think leading-edge. Think proactive, short-term. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for regulating unplanned-for portals? Without preplanned deliverables, all-hands meetings are forced to become holistic. Without preplanned e-businesses, mindshare are forced to become blog-based. We usually cultivate C2B2B social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's conditions! Think micro-dynamic. We will evolve the capacity of angel investors to facilitate. We understand that it is better to matrix extensibly than to e-enable strategically. What does it really mean to target "vertically"? We will deploy the commonly-used term "integrated". Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSL. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user communities". A company that can monetize elegantly will (one day) be able to maximize correctly. We will multiply our capacity to unleash without decreasing our power to leverage. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sticky?