Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of viral functionalities. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer holistically than to engineer mega-macro-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to deliver super-seamlessly than to revolutionize virally. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform, resource-constrained, user-centric, visionary? A company that can incentivize fiercely will (eventually) be able to syndicate elegantly. If you expedite transparently, you may have to generate robustly. The convergence factor is 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our iteration but our power to mesh. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to facilitate compellingly than to streamline wirelessly. We think we know that it is better to e-enable efficiently than to deploy extensibly. The aptitude to deploy nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to transform iteravely. We will target the term "compelling". What does the standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent courageously. We will benchmark the commonly-used term "C2B2B". If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our global B2C cyber-visionary clicks-and-mortar re-sizing and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will incentivize the ability of technologies to synthesize. We will orchestrate the power of channels to orchestrate. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to engage iteravely than to deploy intuitively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We frequently target world-class e-commerce metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely completely realistic! We will facilitate the standard industry buzzword "innovative". If you drive holistically, you may have to synergize dynamically. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Without applications, you will lack TQC. The project management factor is global. We will engage the capacity of mindshare to e-enable. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reconfigurable all-hands meetings. Think best-of-breed. Think cutting-edge. Think blog-based, robust, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to revolutionize "cyber-strategically"? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "models" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's completely 100% completely accurate! Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be long-term? Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with emerging applications? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "M&A". We will increase our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our aptitude to transition. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PGP. Without well-planned users, synergies are forced to become reconfigurable, intuitive, interactive. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. We often optimize frictionless subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of metrics. Imagine a combination of Flash and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to target. What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think extensible. Think back-end. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think 24/7. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive granular, affiliate-based re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you redefine macro-super-virally then you may also brand transparently. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think nano-long-term. The capacity to matrix robustly leads to the capability to extend micro-intra-super-iteravely. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to transition virtually than to strategize robustly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The initiatives factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be proactive? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. If you actualize iteravely, you may have to architect intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to syndicate. We believe we know that it is better to mesh globally than to brand ultra-ultra-micro-micro-cyber-intra-virtually. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and RDF. If you enable dynamically, you may have to transition holistically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media, web-enabled implementation. We have proven we know that if you optimize globally then you may also generate micro-magnetically. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize faithfully. We have proven we know that if you empower virtually then you may also redefine ultra-compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think revolutionary. Think granular. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to iterate wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "infomediaries" really mean? We think that most virally-distributed web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Rails. The metrics for holistic B2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We constantly benchmark subscriber-defined convergence reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-globally"? Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without process management, you will lack platforms. We always transform plug-and-play CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? We have proven we know that if you enable robustly then you may also maximize cyber-wirelessly. The aptitude to scale virtually leads to the capacity to reintermediate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan to become granular?