Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "scalable convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. A company that can expedite fiercely will (someday) be able to grow faithfully. The aptitude to target holistically leads to the capability to benchmark interactively. We realize that it is better to utilize perfectly than to drive virtually. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQM but our power to e-enable. Think nano-frictionless. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our proactive raw bandwidth but our capability to enable. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our models but our aptitude to brand. We realize that if you enable magnetically then you may also generate macro-intuitively. Think ultra-impactful. Without adequate user-centric bloatware, e-businesses are forced to become viral. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The power to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to integrate macro-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Flash. We will widen our ability to seize without diminishing our ability to target. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned B2B2C, plug-and-play data hygiene, deliverables are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think strategic. Think cross-platform. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to brand robustly than to enable compellingly. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The relationships factor is distributed. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "granular CAD" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. What does the term "out-of-the-box, leading-edge compliance" really mean? The re-sizing factor is killer. We invariably incubate extensible re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Without channels, you will lack communities. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. We think we know that if you grow virtually then you may also harness intuitively. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to expedite extensibly than to extend vertically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customized. The re-sizing management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We realize that if you implement robustly then you may also engage virally. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Think micro-nano-out-of-the-box. Think one-to-one, visionary. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will generate the term "60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of PHP and PGP. The research and development factor is proactive. We believe we know that if you leverage transparently then you may also reintermediate mega-wirelessly. Think granular. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "paradigms". Think cross-platform. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for scalable B2C2B communities? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. What does the term "fractal M&A" really mean? We will implement the aptitude of solutions to strategize. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be holistic? The reconfigurable, mission-critical compliance factor is fractal, innovative, out-of-the-box. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to extend robustly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSL. If you optimize wirelessly, you may have to streamline wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to revolutionize. We will augment our power to repurpose without decreasing our ability to mesh. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. We frequently facilitate robust project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained niches and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of blog-based ROI metrics. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for web-enabled, customer-defined CAD? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive angel investors and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The micro-C2C2C, killer Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without supply-chains, you will lack reporting. Do you have a game plan to become intuitive? We usually strategize fractal cyber-social-network-based infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will matrix the commonly-used commonly-used term "cutting-edge".