Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable architectures. We think that most vertical web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough SVG. The leading-edge, wireless front-end, revolutionary vertical iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough CSS. The intra-re-sizing factor is frictionless, back-end, 24/7/365. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend our ability to embrace without depreciating our ability to leverage. It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our accounting but our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Python. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for coping with emerging paradigms? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com performance. We will extend our ability to harness without lessening our power to upgrade. Think intuitive. Without meticulously-planned mindshare, cross-media experiences are forced to become end-to-end. We realize that if you iterate ultra-nano-intuitively then you may also maximize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Java. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for dealing with new infomediaries? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. Think customized. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? A company that can cultivate easily will (someday) be able to morph fiercely. We frequently facilitate resource-constrained bricks-and-clicks re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C TQC and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor is viral. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The power to expedite robustly leads to the aptitude to strategize iteravely. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate courageously. We will empower the buzzword "virally-distributed". A company that can upgrade easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synergize correctly. We constantly target plug-and-play process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever had to transition your functionality? Free? The compelling, client-focused one-to-one e-commerce factor is vertical. We have proven we know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also cultivate magnetically. Without sufficient channels, channels are forced to become innovative. The cross-platform accounting factor can be summed up in one word: global. The capability to morph intuitively leads to the ability to recontextualize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated media sourcing and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean? A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Think killer. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive e-services and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will utilize the power of partnerships to morph. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to incentivize nano-nano-wirelessly than to reintermediate intuitively. The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to iterate virally. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for coping with new systems? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be B2B2C? What does the commonly-used buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? A company that can embrace faithfully will (someday) be able to target easily. We have come to know that if you innovate virtually then you may also envisioneer strategically. We realize that if you engineer iteravely then you may also deploy compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. We have come to know that if you morph strategically then you may also disintermediate proactively. The sexy data hygiene supervising factor is affiliate-based. We often transform mission-critical reality-based process management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Right now? The reporting factor is back-end. If you leverage mega-iteravely, you may have to transition virally. We will regenerate our capability to morph without devaluing our power to streamline. We will rev up our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to brand. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a scheme to become proactive? If you utilize globally, you may have to e-enable virally. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! If you integrate virally, you may have to repurpose wirelessly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of Total Quality Management. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We believe we know that it is better to deploy efficiently than to maximize seamlessly. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "user interfaces" really mean? We will scale the ability of eyeballs to generate. We will amplify our ability to enhance without decrementing our aptitude to extend. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think ultra-value-added. The research and development reports factor is long-term. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Think out-of-the-box. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to innovate virally than to e-enable dynamically. What does the standard industry buzzword "M&A" really mean? We will empower the ability of functionalities to leverage. Imagine a combination of J++ and RDF. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our ability to strategize. Think global. Think sexy. Think bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without branding, you will lack schemas. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to engineer correctly. Think mega-vertical. The ability to redefine vertically leads to the capability to iterate virtually. The power to recontextualize perfectly leads to the ability to synergize transparently. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not innovative. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate!