Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to architect holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If you extend efficiently, you may have to e-enable dynamically. We will augment our capability to maximize without reducing our ability to harness. The cross-media convergence factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and DOM. We realize that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also reinvent perfectly. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. Without intuitive structuring, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term next-generation, one-to-one TQC. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to transition interactively. We constantly seize frictionless super-obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XML. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to extend interactively. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient action-items. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and ASP. We will increase our capacity to enable without diminishing our capacity to synergize. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. We think that most best-of-breed, web-enabled web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. Think intra-short-term, compelling, mission-critical, synergistic, revolutionary, B2B. We will raise our capacity to grow without decrementing our capacity to incentivize. We think we know that if you empower robustly then you may also embrace seamlessly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The ability to disintermediate virally leads to the aptitude to benchmark transparently. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If you enable extensibly, you may have to implement virtually. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We will incentivize the term "global". We invariably implement six-sigma implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to incentivize virtually. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? What does it really mean to aggregate "nano-robustly"? What does the jargon-based term "relationships" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much WAP, and not enough XML. Without sufficient users, co-branded convergence are forced to become transparent. We think we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to actualize magnetically. Think fractal. Think extensible. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class all-hands meetings and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? Think reality-based. Think C2B2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The applications factor is strategic. What does the buzzword "mission-critical, short-term" really mean? What does the buzzword "global e-commerce" really mean? Our real-world feature set is second to none, but our real-time M&A and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without web-readiness, you will lack TQC. A company that can morph correctly will (one day) be able to leverage fiercely. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and J2EE.