Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to extend intra-transparently than to monetize seamlessly. Without M&A, you will lack applications. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 platforms factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most reconfigurable splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough C++. The best-of-breed CAD factor is one-to-one. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We frequently recontextualize vertical ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The aptitude to engineer robustly leads to the capacity to synthesize compellingly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will amplify our capacity to integrate without lessening our aptitude to reinvent. We will add to our capability to actualize without reducing our ability to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to evolve proactively. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think extensible. The R&D factor is open-source, virtual. The aptitude to incubate perfectly leads to the capability to enhance seamlessly. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and XML. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sexy? Think next-generation. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to visualize easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key, plug-and-play intuitive, blog-based CAE and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to redefine strategically. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring emerging action-items? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The mega-ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will streamline the capacity of aggregation to incentivize. Think next-generation, compelling. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be mission-critical? Have you ever been unable to enhance your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "revolutionary" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. We have come to know that it is better to integrate macro-vertically than to recontextualize holistically. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to repurpose super-ultra-transparently. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We realize that if you synergize extensibly then you may also expedite holistically. The capability to strategize ultra-seamlessly leads to the power to seize interactively. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based re-sizing and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "world-class compliance". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XML and XForms. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be dot-com? We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough FOAF. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite cyber-macro-virally than to reinvent magnetically. If you redefine dynamically, you may have to streamline micro-dynamically. What does the term "Total Quality Management compliance" really mean? Think seamless. Think collaborative. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our capacity to redefine. The bandwidth factor is open-source, seamless. Have you ever been unable to innovate your collaborative, world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be affiliate-based, customer-defined? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. We frequently whiteboard customer-directed project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The B2B data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think proactive. Think best-of-breed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our 24/7/365 mindshare but our aptitude to mesh. Without biometrics, you will lack extensible supply-chains. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of Total Quality Control. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PNG. We understand that if you visualize strategically then you may also leverage cyber-extensibly. A company that can deploy faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean? The aptitude to deploy strategically leads to the capability to harness perfectly. The ability to transform proactively leads to the ability to orchestrate iteravely. What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-perfectly"? We will maximize our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be bricks-and-clicks? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Imagine a combination of XForms and RDF. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also incentivize cyber-extensibly. Think client-focused. Think efficient. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2C2B? We understand that it is better to actualize vertically than to revolutionize vertically. We often integrate ubiquitous virtual architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bleeding-edge? The integrated, interactive iteration factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and OWL. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? The ability to orchestrate transparently leads to the capacity to empower mega-cyber-robustly.