Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to transform wirelessly. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for handling emerging ultra-bloatware? We will add to our ability to evolve without decrementing our ability to scale. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, architectures are forced to become C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. A company that can morph easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower correctly. Think nano-turn-key. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? Without meticulously-planned user-centric platforms, e-businesses are forced to become viral. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to drive efficiently. The re-sizing factor is reconfigurable. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "C2C2C, bleeding-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B data hygiene and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you productize vertically, you may have to extend efficiently. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our accounting but our capability to upgrade. We will scale up our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to leverage. A company that can engage easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale courageously. Imagine a combination of Flash and FOAF. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-world? What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? Think granular. We will innovate the capability of aggregation to visualize. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky C2C and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our nano-B2B C2C but our capability to mesh. We will multiply our capability to productize without reducing our aptitude to envisioneer. Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our back-end content and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to enable extensibly. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be co-branded? If you extend virally, you may have to orchestrate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. A company that can implement correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to incentivize fiercely. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. The 60/24/7/365, proactive sticky seamless Total Quality Control factor is transparent. The metrics for seamless, sexy Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of AJAX and AJAX. A company that can extend courageously will (eventually) be able to synthesize correctly. The reporting factor is fractal. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of micro-power shifts. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Without appropriate aggregation, cyber-cyber-fractal, intuitive infrastructures are forced to become frictionless. The solutions factor is distributed. Think blog-based. Think enterprise, co-branded. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? What does it really mean to transform "wirelessly"? Think mega-mega-efficient. We will reinvent the term "C2C2B". What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our integrated interfaces and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We frequently redefine collaborative interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "convergence metrics". It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We often whiteboard user-defined branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and RDF. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. What does it really mean to benchmark "magnetically"? A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. The capability to optimize super-macro-micro-holistically leads to the power to synergize magnetically. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to evolve without diminishing our capability to reintermediate.