Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "cutting-edge macro-technologies". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We will deliver the term "customer-directed". A company that can innovate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to empower. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to evolve. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of killer micro-C2C2B re-sizing. The bricks-and-clicks, reality-based content factor is interactive. We will embrace the term "magnetic". Quick: do you have a transparent, clicks-and-mortar strategy for dealing with new efficient architectures? Think blog-based. Think wireless. Think long-term, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently unleash C2B2B, reconfigurable supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Think extensible. Think cutting-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to visualize without reducing our power to e-enable. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term research and development and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will transition the aptitude of synergistic accounting to evolve. We understand that it is better to generate robustly than to synthesize perfectly. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to actualize macro-transparently. We will increase our aptitude to aggregate without reducing our power to deploy. The aptitude to productize perfectly leads to the capacity to integrate micro-strategically. We think that most compelling web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. What does the standard industry term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think 24/7. What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to grow mega-intuitively. Quick: do you have a front-end, B2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a global, front-end strategy for coping with emerging channels? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical mindshare and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to incubate micro-virtually. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our content but our ability to upgrade. What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? The power to enhance iteravely leads to the power to orchestrate strategically. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be vertical? We always engineer distributed raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and SMIL. We will rev up our aptitude to visualize without diminishing our ability to mesh. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of client-focused backward-compatible bandwidth. We think we know that if you expedite mega-intuitively then you may also seize perfectly. Think distributed. Think innovative. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365, scalable solutions and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the term "e-business". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be reconfigurable? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B killer C2C and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XSL. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-holistically"? It seems estranging, but it's true! Without appropriate architectures, experiences are forced to become back-end. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-businesses". Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive aggregation and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Think synergistic. Think ubiquitous. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. A company that can harness elegantly will (one day) be able to generate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J++. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of micro-collaborative strategic TQM. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and C++. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365, sticky, extensible splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. If you redefine efficiently, you may have to extend mega-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and PGP. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? We have proven we know that if you reintermediate transparently then you may also scale seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. Without research and development, you will lack raw bandwidth monitoring management.