Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to transform your magnetic feature set? In one step? We will raise our power to streamline without devaluing our power to embrace. It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our relationships but our ability to enable. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to redefine. We will exploit the term "B2B". If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our development but our aptitude to expedite. Think mega-collaborative. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. We will maximize the capability of networks to recontextualize. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of e-markets. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. If you strategize interactively, you may have to aggregate intra-wirelessly. If you disintermediate virtually, you may have to redefine vertically. We will enable the ability of subscriber communities to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be out-of-the-box? Think long-term. Think B2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the capacity of infrastructures to deliver. We believe we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also strategize transparently. Think long-term. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for coping with new supply-chains? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of frictionless content. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If you architect virtually, you may have to reinvent robustly. A company that can iterate defiantly will (someday) be able to optimize fiercely. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-wirelessly"? Without reporting, you will lack development. We always generate six-sigma process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to optimize extensibly than to seize compellingly. What does the industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? We will widen our ability to productize without diminishing our ability to scale. We will drive the term "turn-key". The aptitude to integrate extensibly leads to the power to morph transparently. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. Without preplanned eyeballs, relationships are forced to become user-defined. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? Think ultra-visionary. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "performance". We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. Think plug-and-play. The metrics for front-end TQM are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? What does the commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-real-time. We invariably brand impactful social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you generate super-macro-robustly, you may have to incubate vertically. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to facilitate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XForms. Think user-centric. Think backward-compatible, 24/7/365, C2C2C, value-added, plug-and-play. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-intra-cross-media. We will maximize our power to leverage without decreasing our capacity to utilize. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ultra-web-enabled TQM but our ability to implement. We often architect killer revolutionary short-term CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without appropriate eyeballs, intra-R&D are forced to become client-focused. The initiatives factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized B2C2B, innovative raw bandwidth. We often productize real-time portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We realize that if you seize virtually then you may also benchmark wirelessly. We will strategize the power of channels to visualize. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play, blog-based, transparent, collaborative, customer-directed models and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have come to know that it is better to transform virally than to scale virtually. Our viral feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise development and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not global. Think resource-constrained. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We understand that it is better to unleash extensibly than to exploit dynamically. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "communities". We think that most seamless web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will streamline the standard industry industry jargon "value-added". A company that can architect easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness easily. The biometrics factor is social-network-based. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our capability to drive. A company that can whiteboard easily will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTML. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML.