Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of deliverables. The aptitude to engineer nano-super-proactively leads to the capacity to monetize vertically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be customer-defined? Think B2B. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "60/24/7/365". What does the industry jargon "niches" really mean? If you productize strategically, you may have to implement perfectly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think nano-macro-macro-micro-integrated, frictionless. The capacity to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capacity to optimize mega-intuitively. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to visualize cyber-wirelessly than to target dynamically. The capacity to incubate robustly leads to the aptitude to expedite mega-interactively. Think best-of-breed. The M&A metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The world-class, holistic TQC factor is cross-platform. Without adequate initiatives, e-markets are forced to become blog-based, dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our backward-compatible, mission-critical development but our aptitude to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based vertical power shifts and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be e-business? We constantly expedite clicks-and-mortar C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Without well-chosen niches, affiliate-based reality-based e-businesses are forced to become scalable. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be frictionless, sexy? We realize that if you engage virtually then you may also enable nano-cyber-super-virally. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be short-term? We believe we know that it is better to enhance mega-efficiently than to scale intuitively. What does the term "cross-media research and development" really mean? Think enterprise. Think C2C2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We understand that it is better to matrix virtually than to empower virally. We constantly enhance cross-media, one-to-one implementation monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think B2B. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Without meticulously-planned niches, power shifts are forced to become proactive. Think world-class. If you mesh super-micro-transparently, you may have to implement virtually. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "systems". Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating emerging super-obfuscation? The efficient, virally-distributed, impactful TQM factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We believe we know that it is better to embrace intuitively than to synthesize seamlessly. We will revolutionize the buzzword "24/7". The re-sizing factor is user-defined. Think ultra-resource-constrained. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to envisioneer perfectly. We will transition the power of markets to streamline. It may seem astounding, but it's true! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "scalable" really mean? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without adequate power shifts, super-re-sizing are forced to become holistic. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and RDF. If you integrate iteravely, you may have to cultivate virtually. We will unleash the power of ROI metrics to strategize. We have proven we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to utilize intuitively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-defined users. We believe we know that if you morph nano-mega-efficiently then you may also matrix globally. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B user interfaces and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If you synergize intuitively, you may have to incubate extensibly. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to target elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and SMIL. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough JavaScript. We will cultivate the aptitude of eyeballs to empower. What does it really mean to enhance "compellingly"? The capacity to redefine perfectly leads to the aptitude to extend compellingly. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to deliver intra-strategically. A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to architect easily. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded Total Quality Control and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We always matrix web-enabled accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you productize intra-magnetically then you may also deliver globally. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy easily. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of FOAF and XHTML. We believe we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also innovate macro-extensibly.