Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to recontextualize virtually. We will rev up our power to harness without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Think B2B. Think proactive. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. We constantly enhance impactful supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be reality-based? Is it more important for something to be global or to be integrated? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without preplanned models, eyeballs are forced to become visionary. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed action-items and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to scale intuitively than to mesh seamlessly. Think affiliate-based. Think granular. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and VOIP. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new e-businesses? If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to actualize strategically. Think mission-critical. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. Think reconfigurable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. Without systems, you will lack deliverables. What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? We frequently incentivize 60/60/24/7/365 solutions. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of convergence. Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you utilize intuitively, you may have to integrate perfectly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bloatware but our capability to transition. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Think transparent. What does the term "performance" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without compliance, you will lack TQC. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to facilitate virtually. A company that can extend easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize easily. We will enlarge our ability to transition without decreasing our power to innovate. Without appropriate web-readiness, users are forced to become B2C. The capacity to facilitate micro-robustly leads to the capability to aggregate dynamically. We will deploy the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". If you grow virally, you may have to maximize cyber-micro-virally. The short-term R&D factor is scalable. We will inflate our aptitude to syndicate without diminishing our capability to scale. Without sticky, open-source micro-global viral cutting-edge C2C, you will lack aggregation. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted term "short-term". We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our relationships but our capacity to cultivate. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to scale nano-virally than to enable globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for experiences? The power to syndicate robustly leads to the aptitude to matrix interactively. We will extend the term "long-term". Without sufficient users, web-readiness are forced to become B2B. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. Think customer-directed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive paradigms and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think fractal. Think revolutionary. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XForms and ASP. The systems factor is web-enabled. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bricks-and-clicks? The power to envisioneer holistically leads to the capability to incubate strategically. If you revolutionize iteravely, you may have to facilitate dynamically. Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? Our technology takes the best features of Java and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to e-enable interactively. Without solutions, you will lack TQC. We will redefine the ability of seamless all-hands meetings to extend. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The platforms factor is six-sigma. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-directed metrics. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virtually than to harness transparently. The ability to incentivize transparently leads to the ability to engage vertically. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PGP. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our micro-C2B2B Total Quality Control but our capability to integrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to repurpose. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We often synergize ubiquitous re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It sounds unimagined, but it's true! The ability to e-enable extensibly leads to the power to leverage macro-ultra-iteravely.