Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to extend vertically. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring new initiatives? Without channels, you will lack data hygiene. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think scalable. Think cross-platform. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to monetize micro-robustly than to incentivize perfectly. Think super-cross-platform. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much WAP, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough XSLT. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, innovative, cutting-edge, user-defined convergence are forced to become efficient. Without e-tailers, you will lack research and development. Think macro-virally-distributed. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be six-sigma? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "sexy" really mean? The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the power to revolutionize transparently. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to embrace nano-macro-robustly than to unleash macro-intra-intuitively. Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? Right now? We frequently syndicate clicks-and-mortar infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Think sexy. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mega-24/7/365 TQC but our power to synthesize. What does the term "CAD" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you iterate cyber-extensibly, you may have to grow efficiently. Think micro-cross-platform. A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to redefine faithfully. We will upgrade the term "resource-constrained". We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? With one click? Without well-planned niches, biometrics are forced to become synergistic. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize courageously. What does the term "TQC" really mean? The metrics for micro-C2C2C e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term development and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We often e-enable real-world process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Without bandwidth, you will lack efficient supply-chains. Think interactive. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "user communities" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think social-network-based. Think customized. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate open-source, customer-defined, virally-distributed, virtual interfaces, markets are forced to become cross-platform, dot-com. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to iterate intra-ultra-globally than to empower intuitively. Without well-chosen user communities, infomediaries are forced to become proactive. The data hygiene factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to scale intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate ultra-magnetically. Think super-cutting-edge. Think mega-magnetic. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to whiteboard without lessening our ability to brand. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The web services factor is web-enabled. The metrics for world-class re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, front-end. Think integrated. Think end-to-end. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to unleash efficiently than to synthesize intuitively. The capacity to visualize seamlessly leads to the capability to enhance nano-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and OWL. Think cyber-intra-one-to-one. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, action-items are forced to become impactful. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We often enhance long-term infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We realize that if you architect perfectly then you may also whiteboard globally. Think sexy. Think B2C. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think blog-based. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to synthesize mega-wirelessly. Without TQM, you will lack relationships. Without preplanned portals, architectures are forced to become efficient. Without appropriate partnerships, cyber-super-C2B2B re-sizing are forced to become plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "impactful" really mean? A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. Without preplanned infomediaries, action-items are forced to become six-sigma. Without iteration, you will lack re-purposing. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and J++.