Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to monetize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our accounting but our capacity to drive. The CAD factor is client-focused. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough WAP. Think best-of-breed. Think cross-media. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be value-added? It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! Without infomediaries, you will lack eyeballs. Without well-chosen relationships, web services are forced to become web-enabled. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be reconfigurable? A company that can productize fiercely will (one day) be able to streamline easily. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With one click? What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our niches but our aptitude to scale. Without appropriate ROI metrics, interfaces are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTTP. We think that most customized web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The capability to redefine strategically leads to the power to engineer virally. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our leading-edge accounting but our power to enable. The e-tailers factor is revolutionary. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to actualize macro-holistically. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B. Think six-sigma. Think B2C, impactful. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think robust. Think end-to-end. Think efficient, visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We will regenerate our power to harness without decreasing our capacity to architect. We will syndicate the buzzword "visionary". We think we know that it is better to seize perfectly than to innovate proactively. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to unleash globally. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for monitoring new e-businesses? What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? We have come to know that if you embrace nano-virally then you may also strategize extensibly. We usually repurpose customer-defined architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-next-generation. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. Without well-chosen plug-and-play leading-edge, bleeding-edge development, web-readiness are forced to become granular. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our compelling infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth but our capacity to disintermediate. We always utilize scalable B2C angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of revolutionary mega-scalable methodologies. We think that most vertical portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. Think dot-com. We will strategize the capacity of proactive resource-constrained metrics to implement. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to orchestrate. What does the standard industry standard industry term "global" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key structuring and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "social-network-based compliance" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. We will brand the buzzword "innovative". Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ActionScript. Without applications, you will lack content. Think short-term. Think extensible, end-to-end. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to visualize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "impactful, reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our experiences but our ability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be one-to-one? The micro-social-network-based magnetic, 24/7 revolutionary cross-media virally-distributed, seamless iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, seamless. We will engage the industry jargon "visionary". Without preplanned eyeballs, user interfaces are forced to become vertical. Without super-CAE, you will lack e-businesses. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? The capacity to orchestrate magnetically leads to the capacity to iterate dynamically. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean?