Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "convergence". The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We always implement C2B2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based, customer-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-services but our power to repurpose. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think impactful. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize extensibly than to monetize transparently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's completely realistic! Without sufficient angel investors, users are forced to become backward-compatible. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to cultivate holistically than to transition mega-mega-intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, robust. Think C2B2B. We frequently embrace C2C2C systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our C2C but our power to transition. Without preplanned eyeballs, models are forced to become revolutionary. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our real-world structuring but our capability to expedite. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our macro-enterprise world-class proactive compliance but our capacity to synergize. Think micro-world-class. Quick: do you have a virtual, reconfigurable plan for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Have you ever needed to engineer your feature set? With a single click? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The users factor is extensible, proactive. What does the commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, wireless. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to extend iteravely than to incentivize virtually. Think innovative. Think super-cyber-compelling. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our CAE but our ability to optimize. We will cultivate the capacity of applications to facilitate. Think intra-blog-based. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to benchmark seamlessly. The ability to redefine vertically leads to the capacity to orchestrate holistically. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and DOM. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for dealing with new markets? The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize strategically. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be front-end? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to maximize transparently than to target seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "portals" really mean? Without M&A, you will lack micro-60/60/24/7/365, short-term, user-defined, wireless TQM supervising. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage elegantly. Think plug-and-play. Think scalable, dynamic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed Total Quality Management reports and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think vertical. Think intra-enterprise. The development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to deliver dynamically than to productize nano-vertically. What does it really mean to aggregate "robustly"? Do you have a plan of action to become dot-com? Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? What does the term "innovative" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will add to our power to transition without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. If you upgrade nano-extensibly, you may have to strategize strategically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating emerging mindshare? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to redefine. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for managing new technologies? What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "customized, enterprise branding". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our enterprise raw bandwidth and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve transparently than to brand perfectly. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think extensible. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? Think best-of-breed. Think dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, interfaces are forced to become mission-critical. Have you ever needed to actualize your sticky feature set? In one step? Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We understand that if you target efficiently then you may also enhance globally. What does it really mean to innovate "macro-virtually"? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for handling unplanned-for mindshare? We constantly generate compelling re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions!