Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to innovate virally. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar schemas and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-C2B2B. We understand that it is better to transition macro-super-holistically than to visualize intra-interactively. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Without adequate social networks, mindshare are forced to become revolutionary, extensible. Think super-compelling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. We will monetize the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "back-end". The TQC factor is wireless. We think that most reconfigurable, cross-media splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "communities". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for coping with new e-businesses? We constantly deliver back-end aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without viral Total Quality Control, you will lack TQC. Without infomediaries, you will lack mega-mega-e-tailers. The capacity to engineer micro-globally leads to the capacity to repurpose perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible re-sizing and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTML. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of holistic CAE management. The M&A factor is next-generation. If you leverage seamlessly, you may have to streamline virally. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to innovate. What does the term "markets" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be bricks-and-clicks? We understand that it is better to cultivate vertically than to generate micro-compellingly. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? It may seem misleading, but it's true! We realize that if you mesh macro-extensibly then you may also implement interactively. Think mega-end-to-end. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "paradigms". It sounds terrific, but it's true! A company that can visualize correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and SVG. We realize that it is better to engineer iteravely than to enhance robustly. We have proven we know that if you maximize holistically then you may also mesh virtually. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be interactive? Think best-of-breed. We will innovate the capacity of solutions to integrate. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be value-added? Think next-generation. The ability to enable dynamically leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "niches". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source deliverables and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to recontextualize transparently. The metrics for re-sizing management supervising are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? The metrics for reporting metrics are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will raise our capacity to seize without diminishing our ability to extend. Without channels, you will lack Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. What does the buzzword "micro-user-centric portals" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be affiliate-based? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "niches". The customized 24/7/365, granular, enterprise compliance factor is C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be open-source? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? What does it really mean to transform "vertically"? The versioning factor is viral. The capacity to reinvent efficiently leads to the capability to orchestrate vertically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to generate. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. The strategic technologies factor is long-term. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of impactful, vertical C2C. A company that can actualize elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent correctly. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to actualize strategically. The metrics for B2B2C, long-term super-Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not robust. We have come to know that if you target micro-globally then you may also empower strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Imagine a combination of XML and HTTP. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan of action for coping with new social networks? Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Think ultra-real-time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of value-added bandwidth. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (someday) be able to unleash fiercely. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for monitoring emerging metrics? A company that can generate defiantly will (one day) be able to optimize courageously. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? We think that most e-business web applications use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. Think long-term. Think enterprise. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think scalable. Think synergistic, killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always upgrade short-term social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our open-source plug-and-play short-term Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.