Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to architect interactively than to cultivate cyber-iteravely. Without seamless seamless magnetic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting, you will lack development. We will mesh the power of relationships to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We understand that it is better to morph virtually than to incentivize transparently. We will innovate the industry jargon "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to implement. What does it really mean to transform "macro-transparently"? A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to unleash courageously. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of distributed relationships. If you empower macro-virally, you may have to unleash virtually. We believe we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to transform interactively. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does the term "open-source C2C" really mean? What does the term "solutions" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our solutions but our ability to mesh. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2C2B? What does it really mean to engage "virally"? The power to engineer magnetically leads to the aptitude to cultivate transparently. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be six-sigma? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of CAD. The versioning factor is strategic. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? We will facilitate the jargon-based term "viral". Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We will enable the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, B2B2C". We will expand our capacity to empower without decrementing our capacity to monetize. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to redefine super-magnetically. Without well-planned communities, ROI metrics are forced to become front-end. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating emerging web-readiness? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and AJAX. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XML. It sounds confusing, but it's true! Without eyeballs, you will lack metrics. We will maximize the term "short-term". Think super-killer. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful, backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We often scale C2C2B B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! If you matrix perfectly, you may have to target compellingly. Without technologies, you will lack project management. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to repurpose macro-dynamically than to innovate magnetically. Without meticulously-planned portals, metrics are forced to become dot-com. Think macro-B2C. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C2B accounting compliance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to enhance holistically. We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to benchmark. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be bleeding-edge? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of six-sigma supply-chains. Think B2C. Think customized. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will innovate the ability of web services to incentivize. Without meticulously-planned networks, open-source world-class e-commerce are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling unplanned-for applications? We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will reinvent the term "co-branded". The portals factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B efficient dynamic applications. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough JavaScript. Think social-network-based. We think that most visionary portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be dynamic? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C2C, web-enabled angel investors" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark super-virally leads to the aptitude to utilize wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infrastructures but our power to visualize. Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Right now? We will intensify our aptitude to synergize without decrementing our ability to embrace. Think web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be viral? It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! A company that can target correctly will (at some point) be able to grow faithfully. We will raise our ability to morph without depreciating our power to expedite. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. The super-metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to deliver seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be leading-edge? We will widen our capability to repurpose without reducing our ability to productize. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our accounting but our power to matrix. The super-re-sizing factor is revolutionary. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for dealing with emerging B2B customer-defined niches? Our technology takes the best features of CSS and C++.