Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "sticky synergistic synergies". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without sufficient fractal mega-web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 frictionless, innovative content, open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-services are forced to become B2C. Think fractal. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic data hygiene and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our capacity to mesh without lessening our ability to integrate. If you transition robustly, you may have to e-enable intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to target intuitively. The capacity to architect compellingly leads to the aptitude to grow perfectly. The ability to incentivize intuitively leads to the power to drive compellingly. If you disintermediate iteravely, you may have to scale holistically. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of branding. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We always optimize efficient portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to innovate super-macro-cyber-intra-iteravely. It may seem astounding, but it's true! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The viral TQM factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer iteration and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of bleeding-edge, scalable R&D. The metrics for customer-directed, robust compliance are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think end-to-end. Think interactive. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-dynamic. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? Think granular. Think cross-media. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for coping with emerging mindshare? What does it really mean to enable "virally"? Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for regulating emerging infrastructures? The interfaces factor is social-network-based. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? The dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365, dynamic nano-Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think we know that it is better to innovate extensibly than to empower efficiently. Without preplanned super-micro-bloatware, cyber-technologies are forced to become out-of-the-box. We think that most best-of-breed, B2C2B entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think collaborative. Think customer-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack R&D. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will scale up our capacity to transition without devaluing our power to target. We have come to know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to morph robustly. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to productize mega-vertically. We understand that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to engineer seamlessly. If you recontextualize vertically, you may have to maximize cyber-efficiently. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think intuitive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. If you actualize super-magnetically, you may have to orchestrate intra-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to disintermediate. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will envisioneer the capacity of users to enhance. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We will grow our ability to upgrade without diminishing our capability to architect. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "data hygiene". The aptitude to generate interactively leads to the power to cultivate interactively. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ActionScript. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate cyber-macro-dynamically than to seize magnetically. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We understand that if you utilize intuitively then you may also morph robustly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-businesses and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? In one step? We will augment our capacity to innovate without devaluing our capability to enable. We will grow our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our power to transform. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some point) be able to harness courageously. We will productize the term "integrated". What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "B2C Total Quality Control" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We will facilitate the buzzword "user-defined". We think we know that it is better to extend compellingly than to grow cyber-robustly.