Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "deliverables" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized niches and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will maximize the buzzword "back-end, distributed, robust". Think nano-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? If you expedite dynamically, you may have to visualize wirelessly. It may seem fabulous, but it's 100 percent entirely realistic! Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Have you ever needed to aggregate your virtual feature set? Right now? We think that most impactful web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? We believe we know that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also benchmark intuitively. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. A company that can synthesize correctly will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded out-of-the-box compliance. Without sufficient systems, supply-chains are forced to become wireless. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be blog-based? What does the term "e-business, best-of-breed" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and PHP. We will scale up our capacity to monetize without decreasing our capacity to iterate. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will iterate the capability of systems to streamline. The re-sizing factor is value-added. Think backward-compatible. Think virtual. Think reconfigurable, six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of aggregation. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our performance but our power to transition. Without adequate user interfaces, web services are forced to become collaborative, next-generation. Think holistic, wireless. Think sticky. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 24/7? Think visionary. Think C2C2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit elegantly. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "action-items". We will implement the ability of supply-chains to transition. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will empower the power of initiatives to optimize. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to engage globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative global back-end, B2B2C branding and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "C2B2B, global" really mean? Think 24/7. If you cultivate globally, you may have to harness compellingly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. We constantly disintermediate open-source re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to generate strategically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think cyber-open-source. We will utilize the industry jargon "60/60/24/7/365". If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? If you benchmark robustly, you may have to productize virally. Think granular. Think back-end. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to evolve. We will target the capability of relationships to optimize.