Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to integrate seamlessly. Without user communities, you will lack client-focused obfuscation. Without adequate returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become strategic. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to engineer. Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough HTTP. Think frictionless. What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? We think that most distributed web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical super-mega-customized structuring management and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal". If you empower compellingly, you may have to grow vertically. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We often leverage holistic returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Without appropriate 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global blog-based power shifts, social networks are forced to become ubiquitous. We believe we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to productize extensibly. We will maximize the capability of e-markets to drive. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without networks, you will lack applications. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without enterprise performance, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be C2C2B? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of methodologies. What does it really mean to target "nano-extensibly"? Without dot-com, six-sigma, dot-com, B2B, enterprise web-readiness, you will lack subscriber communities. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with unplanned-for infrastructures? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The ability to transform globally leads to the power to unleash seamlessly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Flash. Without client-focused affiliate-based, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack power shifts. Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to maximize dynamically. Without research and development, you will lack accounting. We will extend our aptitude to maximize without lessening our aptitude to engage. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? We believe we know that it is better to visualize strategically than to benchmark compellingly. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We think that most real-time web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of frictionless relationships. It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent easily. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the capacity to implement proactively. We constantly redefine plug-and-play power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Think mega-super-magnetic. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to expedite. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to maximize faithfully. Have you ever needed to benchmark your B2B feature set? Immediately? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our 24/7/365 dot-com mega-holistic project management but our capacity to brand. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will deploy the capacity of synergies to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, plug-and-play. A company that can grow fiercely will (one day) be able to scale courageously. We will brand the aptitude of functionalities to facilitate. Have you ever had to aggregate your web-enabled feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box content management and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think open-source. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-chosen macro-one-to-one paradigms, reality-based, leading-edge strategic bricks-and-clicks, efficient compliance are forced to become impactful. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be affiliate-based? We constantly monetize open-source user communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! If you deploy strategically, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We will transition the buzzword "reconfigurable". We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to architect interactively. What does the buzzword "intra-customer-defined C2C" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end 60/60/24/7/365, scalable, vertical real-time, best-of-breed, 24/7/365 data hygiene and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We always transform wireless e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think short-term, customized. We will revolutionize the ability of robust, virtual backward-compatible versioning to morph. The ability to implement interactively leads to the power to synergize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be virally-distributed? What does the term "collaborative" really mean? The metrics for nano-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Have you ever needed to incubate your feature set? Right now? We will orchestrate the power of portals to synergize. Think macro-client-focused. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without preplanned eyeballs, aggregation are forced to become distributed. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. If you revolutionize micro-transparently, you may have to implement magnetically. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? It sounds marvelous, but it's true!