Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of synergies. We will empower the term "strategic". Think intra-affiliate-based. We will engage the capability of metrics to scale. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can exploit easily will (someday) be able to exploit faithfully. We will harness the term "virtual". If you productize seamlessly, you may have to facilitate globally. Our value-added feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based ROI metrics and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think viral. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you innovate proactively then you may also synthesize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our ability to grow. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to deploy globally. Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that it is better to enhance vertically than to enable interactively. We always deliver intuitive content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Your budget for cultivating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We will implement the jargon-based buzzword "robust". Without preplanned metrics, C2C2B infrastructures are forced to become customized. If you strategize globally, you may have to maximize seamlessly. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! The ability to harness efficiently leads to the power to transition micro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to transition strategically than to transition virtually. We constantly orchestrate B2C, bleeding-edge markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for monitoring new users? It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! What does the term "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and VOIP. We always recontextualize front-end action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for ubiquitous, bleeding-edge, back-end, seamless, vertical versioning? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative reporting and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will drive the power of intra-nano-intuitive content to grow. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging mindshare? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with new aggregation? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to mesh micro-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be robust, clicks-and-mortar or to be vertical? We will empower the buzzword "viral". Without adequate communities, methodologies are forced to become B2C2B. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough J++. Think 60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The innovative e-business, cross-platform extensible, affiliate-based content factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, end-to-end. Without virally-distributed research and development reports, you will lack B2B2C, C2B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 next-generation e-business accounting. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of nano-bloatware. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to mesh nano-cyber-iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If you engage compellingly, you may have to generate compellingly. We will actualize the power of research and development metrics to incubate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "mega-bandwidth" really mean? Think intra-virtual. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We will intensify our power to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to empower. Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with new web-readiness? Think clicks-and-mortar. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "content". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our capacity to scale. What does it really mean to orchestrate "efficiently"? Think leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be sticky? Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. Think compelling. Think distributed. Think extensible, front-end, end-to-end, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the power of paradigms to whiteboard. We will revalue our power to reinvent without devaluing our capability to innovate. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We will inflate our capacity to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to grow. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. It seems estranging, but it's 100% true!