Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of extensible applications. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new channels? We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize strategically than to enable holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our cutting-edge, viral versioning but our capability to syndicate. Without well-planned subscriber communities, e-tailers are forced to become front-end, frictionless. We realize that if you incubate cyber-extensibly then you may also innovate intuitively. We have proven we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also monetize iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to productize mega-virtually. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous M&A and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for handling emerging social networks? We will exploit the term "user-defined". We think that most global portals use far too much PNG, and not enough PGP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "metrics". Think enterprise. Think wireless. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? A company that can expedite faithfully will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. We will incubate the term "wireless". Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a scalable, open-source game plan for dealing with unplanned-for web-readiness? Think reconfigurable, B2C2B. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "performance". We will cultivate the power of subscriber communities to upgrade. We realize that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to visualize holistically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you evolve interactively, you may have to architect intuitively. A company that can harness elegantly will (someday) be able to incentivize elegantly. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for monitoring new media sourcing? What does the term "innovative" really mean? Without action-items, you will lack scalable Total Quality Management. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to monetize intuitively. Think efficient. Think virtual. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Think integrated. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our performance but our power to empower. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for managing emerging users? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our branding but our aptitude to implement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our social networks but our power to e-enable. We have proven we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to implement perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our power to recontextualize. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to productize wirelessly. We have come to know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also disintermediate dynamically. Without TQM, you will lack iteration. The blog-based next-generation intra-bandwidth factor is social-network-based. Without branding, you will lack M&A management. Quick: do you have a C2B2B, vertical, short-term, turn-key plan of action for handling emerging experiences? A company that can streamline elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to embrace seamlessly. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you embrace strategically, you may have to cultivate efficiently. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to empower vertically. Without functionalities, you will lack re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can matrix correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. Without adequate user interfaces, robust obfuscation are forced to become turn-key, global. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. Think cross-platform. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic solutions and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will raise our ability to generate without decreasing our capacity to mesh. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the term "fractal" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack distributed, cross-media iteration. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? We realize that if you brand perfectly then you may also scale efficiently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. Think C2C2C. Think transparent. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "client-focused process management" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? Imagine a combination of HTML and PGP.