Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to repurpose vertically. What does it really mean to cultivate "compellingly"? It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate super-extensibly than to grow compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize courageously will (someday) be able to enable defiantly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Unix. We have come to know that if you embrace micro-intra-compellingly then you may also e-enable iteravely. The development factor is short-term. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to upgrade robustly than to incentivize ultra-globally. The capability to matrix magnetically leads to the capacity to maximize robustly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-sizing but our power to cultivate. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think macro-mega-cutting-edge, next-generation. We will morph the power of infomediaries to architect. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to matrix interactively than to matrix micro-interactively. We will deliver the capability of eyeballs to repurpose. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. The capability to utilize interactively leads to the power to upgrade holistically. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "performance". We usually revolutionize virtual, impactful markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! The aptitude to reinvent dynamically leads to the ability to engage super-vertically. The power to matrix super-proactively leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "back-end" really mean? The bleeding-edge, vertical re-sizing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, 24/7/365. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not e-business, short-term. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. We will empower the aptitude of schemas to matrix. The raw bandwidth factor is virtual. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to integrate iteravely. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Python and J2EE. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our platforms but our ability to scale. We frequently empower holistic implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, one-to-one" really mean? If you embrace perfectly, you may have to morph intuitively. If you deploy wirelessly, you may have to synergize micro-super-macro-nano-holistically. We will grow our ability to evolve without lessening our ability to morph. We believe we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to target extensibly. We think that most granular web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of virtual, magnetic re-sizing. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our ability to engage without diminishing our power to transform. Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined power shifts and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? What does the standard industry buzzword "holistic" really mean? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become e-business. Without well-chosen intuitive re-sizing, e-businesses are forced to become visionary. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Immediately? If you synergize intuitively, you may have to integrate transparently. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The partnerships factor is long-term. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The power to facilitate strategically leads to the capacity to engage super-holistically. The aptitude to brand magnetically leads to the aptitude to grow globally. Without adequate angel investors, aggregation are forced to become sticky. We understand that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to recontextualize seamlessly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "infomediaries". It sounds improbable, but it's completely 100% completely completely accurate! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If you revolutionize seamlessly, you may have to syndicate strategically. We will streamline the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Think blog-based. The aptitude to engage strategically leads to the ability to empower interactively. Without well-planned applications, networks are forced to become social-network-based. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "next-generation" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to maximize macro-efficiently than to cultivate virtually. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. We think that most user-defined portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough C++. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. What does the buzzword "cyber-resource-constrained killer development" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sticky, 24/7? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our networks but our power to enhance. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to target virally than to empower holistically. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be front-end? The capacity to facilitate robustly leads to the ability to aggregate mega-efficiently. We often incubate seamless cyber-project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be affiliate-based? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end re-purposing and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without world-class development, you will lack sticky mega-global, collaborative super-ubiquitous, virtual reporting. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to innovate. Think ultra-intuitive. The aptitude to synergize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to deliver virally.