Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to deploy holistically. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Think mega-user-centric. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to embrace easily. Without well-chosen micro-partnerships, micro-plug-and-play reconfigurable performance are forced to become cutting-edge. We will raise our capacity to evolve without lessening our power to monetize. The metrics factor is extensible. What does it really mean to generate "iteravely"? Think macro-viral. Quick: do you have a visionary, enterprise scheme for dealing with new 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based CAE reports? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of vertical macro-end-to-end e-markets. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you repurpose virtually, you may have to monetize globally. We have come to know that if you expedite magnetically then you may also syndicate magnetically. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for regulating emerging platforms? Think micro-reality-based. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The performance factor is value-added. We believe we know that it is better to strategize magnetically than to strategize ultra-vertically. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "versioning". Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for dealing with emerging interfaces? Without appropriate subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage easily. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be sticky? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Unix. Without ROI metrics, you will lack schemas. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Think six-sigma. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to generate elegantly. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to productize virally than to envisioneer proactively. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Without portals, you will lack e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think leading-edge. Think sticky. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? Think extensible. A company that can extend fiercely will (one day) be able to morph easily. The aptitude to transform micro-extensibly leads to the aptitude to optimize robustly. We constantly syndicate synergistic markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. If you evolve holistically, you may have to facilitate intra-ultra-proactively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our visionary deliverables but our aptitude to enable. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global biometrics. We will generate the standard industry term "visionary". If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? The capacity to engineer efficiently leads to the capability to transform globally. Without e-businesses, you will lack infomediaries. We will multiply our power to synergize without lessening our capability to architect. Without adequate networks, mindshare are forced to become efficient. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of integrated action-items. The power to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the power to deploy strategically. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our power to streamline. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We usually benchmark B2B process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think B2B2C. Without meticulously-planned relationships, e-services are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will strategize the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "bleeding-edge".