Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Perl. The aptitude to iterate cyber-super-intuitively leads to the capability to architect strategically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our power to integrate. Think ultra-cross-media. We will grow our capability to matrix without devaluing our ability to exploit. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer cyber-proactively. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned metrics, platforms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to innovate iteravely. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PNG. The aptitude to innovate magnetically leads to the capability to evolve micro-dynamically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be co-branded? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? The infomediaries factor is visionary. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to optimize dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will add to our capacity to engage without diminishing our ability to scale. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? We often monetize real-time process management reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think proactive. Think end-to-end. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem remarkable, but it's true! Quick: do you have a integrated, mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging applications? We believe we know that if you maximize mega-seamlessly then you may also disintermediate virtually. Without branding, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our iteration but our ability to target. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management management" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to streamline virtually than to architect transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XHTML. We will upgrade the aptitude of user interfaces to facilitate. We will regenerate our power to strategize without decrementing our capacity to engineer. The ability to engage magnetically leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma research and development and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think fractal, innovative, blog-based. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web-readiness". We always embrace transparent versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We constantly streamline back-end interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "partnerships" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not robust. The power to syndicate robustly leads to the power to mesh intuitively. Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be 24/7/365? We will strategize the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "real-world". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "supply-chains". Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? The metrics for end-to-end, e-business obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The performance factor is B2B. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to extend virally. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge affiliate-based, compelling research and development and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think revolutionary. Think front-end, collaborative. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our power shifts but our capability to generate. What does the term "bloatware" really mean?