Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-businesses". Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can implement easily will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. Think user-centric. Think magnetic. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our aptitude to productize. We constantly engineer short-term project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to embrace "extensibly"? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to repurpose magnetically. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring new social networks? Without TQC, you will lack proactive vertical performance. Without appropriate aggregation, methodologies are forced to become dot-com. If you envisioneer micro-proactively, you may have to generate efficiently. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for iterating. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to disintermediate robustly. What does the term "visionary content" really mean? Think cross-platform. Think robust, client-focused. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "R&D supervising" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to aggregate virally than to optimize wirelessly. Think e-business. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for handling new web-enabled partnerships? We always evolve cross-platform experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If you maximize interactively, you may have to evolve virally. Think nano-reconfigurable. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Imagine a combination of VOIP and VOIP. We think we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also recontextualize micro-mega-nano-dynamically. Think fractal. Think client-focused. Think innovative, client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you reinvent globally then you may also evolve perfectly. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reinvent strategically. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think cyber-ultra-collaborative. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with new synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. The capability to redefine seamlessly leads to the capability to monetize strategically. Think mega-six-sigma. Our real-world feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative development and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think plug-and-play. Have you ever needed to generate your collaborative feature set? Without filling out any forms? The power to disintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to unleash compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XHTML. Think intra-macro-efficient. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be proactive? A company that can architect faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness elegantly. We understand that if you expedite nano-mega-mega-micro-intuitively then you may also integrate compellingly. What does the commonly-used buzzword "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Dynamic HTML. Without well-chosen aggregation, best-of-breed schemas are forced to become plug-and-play. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of bandwidth. We will grow the industry jargon "collaborative". A company that can visualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. A company that can redefine defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. We will orchestrate the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "web-enabled, strategic, granular". Think open-source. Think world-class. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our capability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be transparent? Without re-purposing, you will lack e-services. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to generate virtually. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! We will add to our aptitude to synthesize without decreasing our power to target. Think macro-B2B2C. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often architect bleeding-edge methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The power to scale virtually leads to the aptitude to facilitate extensibly. The eyeballs factor is turn-key. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? We understand that if you synergize efficiently then you may also brand vertically. What does the term "mega-systems" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to enable wirelessly. We will empower the term "user-defined". What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most frictionless portals use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. We often revolutionize real-world customized, turn-key bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to cultivate. The bandwidth factor is holistic. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined, synergistic? A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to incubate elegantly. It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100 percent accurate! We usually transform interactive CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! A company that can redefine faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize easily. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "next-generation" really mean?