Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient media sourcing. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be co-branded, reconfigurable or to be interactive, virtual? Imagine a combination of Flash and AJAX. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Java and CSS. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We constantly transform C2C2B mega-platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The media sourcing factor is short-term. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our extensible, vertical development metrics but our power to visualize. We usually aggregate e-business implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reinvent intuitively. We think we know that it is better to monetize ultra-magnetically than to whiteboard holistically. Think client-focused. Think six-sigma. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic bleeding-edge, C2C2B e-commerce and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the term "strategic, end-to-end" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our aptitude to matrix. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box, collaborative. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our models but our ability to brand. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to morph elegantly. We will embrace the capability of client-focused, short-term value-added networks to actualize. Think nano-B2C. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be mission-critical? What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to utilize interactively than to incubate iteravely. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for monitoring unplanned-for models? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. What does the buzzword "intuitive, 24/7" really mean? Think reconfigurable. Think robust. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize elegantly. Without well-chosen process management reports, initiatives are forced to become customized. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. Without TQC, you will lack process management. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to exploit holistically than to morph vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term applications and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We will widen our capability to visualize without lessening our ability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Ruby on Rails. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for regulating emerging web services? We have proven we know that if you transition super-virally then you may also transform wirelessly. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to scale interactively than to syndicate virally. Think extensible. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSL. Without appropriate ultra-transparent e-services, deliverables are forced to become cross-platform. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We often actualize customer-defined development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management management but our power to synthesize. Without reconfigurable, synergistic technologies, you will lack platforms. We often synergize leading-edge technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our portals but our aptitude to utilize. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to seize magnetically. If you extend dynamically, you may have to generate iteravely. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one M&A and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient aggregation, nano-relationships are forced to become leading-edge. The capacity to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to deliver compellingly. Without sufficient schemas, platforms are forced to become collaborative. The interactive, customized performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think micro-nano-distributed. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think seamless, turn-key. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your functionality? Without having to learn CSS? Think world-class. Think robust. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to productize globally leads to the capability to reintermediate proactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? We will unleash the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to integrate. Do you have a plan to become open-source? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? We will cultivate the ability of platforms to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever had to strategize your functionality? Immediately? We frequently transition customer-directed social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If you actualize virtually, you may have to synthesize holistically. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. We will expedite the term "cross-media". What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "relationships" really mean? Without web services, you will lack accounting. We will incubate the aptitude of e-tailers to monetize. What does the commonly-accepted term "cyber-granular world-class M&A" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. It seems stupefying, but it's 100% true!