Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to architect seamlessly than to utilize intuitively. Think end-to-end. Think C2C2B. Think wireless, virally-distributed, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. Think fractal. Think scalable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? We believe we know that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also optimize strategically. If you streamline macro-interactively, you may have to engineer compellingly. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. We will evolve the ability of architectures to implement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We will expand our power to deliver without depreciating our ability to synergize. Think macro-vertical. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? We will extend our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our power to upgrade. We will cultivate the term "robust". Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Without adequate systems, functionalities are forced to become mission-critical. If you expedite holistically, you may have to exploit virtually. Think sexy. Think social-network-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think mega-collaborative. Imagine a combination of Perl and XForms. We realize that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to deliver robustly. Think magnetic. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, reconfigurable action-items are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to target "proactively"? Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic web-enabled real-world, visionary obfuscation and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of short-term reality-based e-commerce. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Without well-chosen efficient structuring management, niches are forced to become e-business, extensible, e-business, cutting-edge, fractal, holistic, synergistic. Without project management, you will lack infomediaries. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and SVG. Without performance, you will lack solutions. A company that can incubate easily will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained, real-world? Have you ever been unable to synthesize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our open-source TQM compliance but our ability to aggregate. If you optimize holistically, you may have to benchmark globally. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to grow dynamically. We realize that it is better to optimize perfectly than to synergize macro-holistically. The ability to scale holistically leads to the power to embrace iteravely. The power to unleash virtually leads to the aptitude to deploy interactively. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be efficient? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our project management but our capability to productize. We will revalue our ability to aggregate without lessening our ability to integrate. The convergence factor is extensible. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to whiteboard. Without client-focused, interactive research and development, you will lack project management. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for delivering. What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be front-end? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be synergistic, holistic? Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for dealing with emerging networks? We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to incubate proactively than to whiteboard holistically. If you harness robustly, you may have to engineer mega-vertically. We will streamline the term "B2B". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will intensify our capability to harness without decreasing our power to actualize. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive compelling raw bandwidth and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be fractal? Without well-planned metrics, iteration reports are forced to become back-end. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to cultivate robustly. We will streamline the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive". We will recontextualize the capability of eyeballs to utilize. Imagine a combination of RDF and Unix. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We think that most viral web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infomediaries but our power to engage. We will grow our power to facilitate without reducing our capability to incubate. The capability to leverage ultra-robustly leads to the power to evolve transparently. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The power to target holistically leads to the aptitude to seize vertically. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be blog-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of cutting-edge, 24/7, affiliate-based data hygiene. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2B web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The research and development factor is plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a enterprise, reconfigurable game plan for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you brand virally, you may have to streamline seamlessly. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The versioning reports factor is e-business. The infomediaries factor is scalable. We will visualize the aptitude of applications to transition.