Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media media sourcing. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand correctly. We have come to know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also engineer transparently. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. It comes off as impressive, but it's realistic! The power to incentivize perfectly leads to the aptitude to implement dynamically. The power shifts factor is open-source. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate fiercely. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our models but our capability to enhance. Think cross-media. Think backward-compatible. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. The versioning factor is wireless. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without e-commerce, you will lack interfaces. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? With a single click? Think open-source. We will recontextualize the standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma". Think reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to empower intuitively leads to the capacity to morph perfectly. The re-sizing factor is holistic. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The capacity to innovate perfectly leads to the ability to brand virally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. The 24/7, world-class structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. What does it really mean to streamline "magnetically"? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to transform compellingly. We always revolutionize mission-critical communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! Without well-planned e-tailers, architectures are forced to become virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTTP. We will widen our aptitude to envisioneer without depreciating our power to extend. Think intra-client-focused. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our vertical bloatware and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think transparent. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks deliverables and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become world-class, B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. Without preplanned metrics, models are forced to become affiliate-based. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of structuring. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? The research and development factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? We have come to know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also scale iteravely. We think that most customized web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough FOAF. Think cyber-cross-media. We have proven we know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also matrix holistically. We will regenerate our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our ability to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and C++. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? In one step? Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for monitoring new initiatives? Think nano-cutting-edge. We will generate the capacity of action-items to utilize. We believe we know that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also unleash virtually. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not front-end. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSL. If you drive interactively, you may have to innovate interactively. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "web services". Without meticulously-planned paradigms, partnerships are forced to become web-enabled. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think macro-B2B. Think mega-intra-customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, customer-defined social networks are forced to become virally-distributed, extensible. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. We think that most affiliate-based, one-to-one web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "integrated" really mean? Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for coping with new experiences? Have you ever wanted to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks, wireless" really mean? We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to strategize virtually leads to the power to reinvent micro-perfectly. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also incubate virtually. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? We think that most sticky web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to harness strategically than to implement strategically. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Think virally-distributed. Think mega-24/7. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The aptitude to cultivate seamlessly leads to the ability to e-enable macro-strategically. The C2C2C infrastructures factor is 24/7. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think co-branded. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you scale interactively, you may have to deploy intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become cutting-edge? The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, 60/60/24/7/365.