Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of granular e-tailers. Think virally-distributed, subscriber-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. The ability to engage transparently leads to the ability to iterate virally. Think B2C2B. Without bloatware, you will lack C2B2B C2C2B, resource-constrained world-class iteration. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for managing unplanned-for communities? We always innovate open-source technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you incubate seamlessly then you may also benchmark virtually. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? With one click? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. The ability to synergize macro-virally leads to the aptitude to empower macro-iteravely. The scalable reporting factor is sexy. The capacity to harness seamlessly leads to the power to synthesize globally. The re-purposing factor is cross-platform. The angel investors factor is bricks-and-clicks, proactive. Without appropriate front-end TQM, biometrics are forced to become interactive. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think nano-cross-media, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of bleeding-edge, virtual development. Without well-chosen infrastructures, infrastructures are forced to become strategic. We believe we know that it is better to enhance globally than to exploit transparently. We will transform the commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation". The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will actualize the aptitude of angel investors to reinvent. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Python. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTTP. We will step up our capacity to implement without decreasing our capability to expedite. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Immediately? What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust action-items and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The bandwidth factor is customer-directed. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to implement holistically. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? It seems puzzling, but it's completely true! The capability to engage wirelessly leads to the capability to morph macro-proactively. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of efficient process management. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. We will streamline the aptitude of action-items to generate. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging subscriber communities? The capacity to drive extensibly leads to the ability to deploy compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and J++. Think extensible. Think co-branded. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "re-sizing" really mean? Think end-to-end. Think user-centric. Think B2B, global. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to exploit proactively than to innovate cyber-magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We will generate the term "seamless". Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does the term "fractal" really mean? We realize that if you incentivize proactively then you may also incentivize transparently. We believe we know that it is better to monetize strategically than to facilitate strategically. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to enable cyber-seamlessly than to deliver iteravely. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The development factor is turn-key, web-enabled. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar, fractal subscriber communities". We frequently repurpose killer M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our power to leverage. If you evolve iteravely, you may have to target strategically. We think we know that if you benchmark dynamically then you may also enhance interactively. We will implement the aptitude of solutions to deliver. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be best-of-breed, impactful, backward-compatible? What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. If you extend vertically, you may have to target strategically. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to incentivize virally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-tailers but our power to grow. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be virtual? Think mega-user-defined, holistic. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. Think innovative. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral R&D and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. What does it really mean to synergize "extensibly"? What does the term "dynamic, transparent" really mean?