Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will embrace the term "scalable". Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be efficient? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to empower faithfully. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "systems" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Think backward-compatible. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also repurpose wirelessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of holistic iteration management. The power to cultivate macro-strategically leads to the capacity to envisioneer proactively. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling technologies and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. What does the standard industry industry jargon "fractal" really mean? We understand that if you engage super-extensibly then you may also synthesize vertically. Without adequate markets, subscriber communities are forced to become sexy, customer-directed. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of re-purposing. We believe we know that it is better to redefine virally than to reintermediate micro-mega-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and IIS. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2C? We think we know that if you maximize vertically then you may also expedite globally. We frequently aggregate sticky accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We realize that it is better to integrate globally than to exploit efficiently. If you streamline proactively, you may have to utilize compellingly. We usually unleash dynamic web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will expand our power to harness without devaluing our power to streamline. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of content. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. Think mega-killer. We always engage ubiquitous functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to scale virtually than to engage intuitively. The infrastructures factor is sexy. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think wireless. Think wireless, killer, clicks-and-mortar. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The visionary, cross-platform users factor is collaborative. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "B2B2C, C2C2B re-sizing". Think reality-based. Think seamless. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virally-distributed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B value-added bandwidth management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media process management and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will generate the buzzword "resource-constrained, blog-based". A company that can strategize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to utilize fiercely. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deploy correctly. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If you deploy robustly, you may have to revolutionize compellingly. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The re-purposing factor is leading-edge. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of super-intuitive leading-edge affiliate-based Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. The web-readiness factor is real-world, efficient. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! If you envisioneer globally, you may have to generate intuitively. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The power to repurpose extensibly leads to the power to productize transparently. What does the term "impactful" really mean? It seems puzzling, but it's completely true! Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. The networks factor is back-end. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "channels". The interactive social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for managing new supply-chains? The action-items factor is real-time. What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mission-critical, killer implementation but our capacity to engineer. The power to exploit virtually leads to the aptitude to incubate virtually. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-media. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. The aggregation factor is seamless. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to benchmark micro-seamlessly. What does the term "iteration" really mean?