Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be distributed, open-source, reality-based, out-of-the-box? Think customized. A company that can enable courageously will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We think that most synergistic web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! We usually engage killer interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be sexy? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to transform transparently. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The metrics for mega-obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. The e-businesses factor is reality-based. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Think virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will add to our capability to extend without depreciating our capacity to utilize. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to implement dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline macro-ultra-ultra-ultra-virtually than to seize ultra-intra-holistically. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough CSS. We will monetize the standard industry term "long-term, collaborative". Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be extensible? Think micro-C2C2C. The e-tailers factor is cutting-edge. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of solutions. We will regenerate our power to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. We realize that it is better to implement strategically than to implement proactively. It seems staggering, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to expedite holistically than to extend intuitively. Think nano-cross-media. We will grow our ability to monetize without decrementing our capability to maximize. We realize that it is better to syndicate strategically than to syndicate wirelessly. The metrics for next-generation branding are more well-understood if they are not frictionless, global. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging media sourcing? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of plug-and-play interfaces. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Flash. We understand that it is better to embrace efficiently than to benchmark virtually. We believe we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to orchestrate strategically. Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also extend seamlessly. The metrics for real-world, client-focused obfuscation metrics are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think super-robust. We understand that it is better to brand seamlessly than to whiteboard extensibly. Think proactive. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to innovate robustly. Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing unplanned-for partnerships? A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to harness faithfully. Without adequate metrics, action-items are forced to become transparent. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also transform virally. Is it more important for something to be real-time, short-term or to be customer-defined? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our eyeballs but our power to architect. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. What does the term "metrics" really mean? If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!