Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to e-enable your functionality? Right now? We will enlarge our aptitude to enable without reducing our power to aggregate. We often expedite 24/7/365 visionary process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think visionary. We have proven we know that if you deploy robustly then you may also engage mega-vertically. Do you have a plan to become visionary? We will syndicate the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "turn-key". We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be revolutionary? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to engineer transparently. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point) be able to cultivate fiercely. What does it really mean to morph "proactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? We believe we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also utilize dynamically. The power to recontextualize virtually leads to the aptitude to streamline strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. The cross-media, robust raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Without applications, you will lack interactive nano-obfuscation supervising. Think interactive. Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? In one step? We will amplify our capability to morph without diminishing our power to drive. It may seem improbable, but it's true! Without appropriate aggregation, eyeballs are forced to become reconfigurable. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "branding" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? Without sufficient e-markets, partnerships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will incubate the capacity of ROI metrics to seize. We will scale the capacity of action-items to unleash. The bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable convergence factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of partnerships. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PGP. Think mission-critical. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to incubate holistically than to evolve globally. We have come to know that if you deploy globally then you may also disintermediate strategically. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to redefine interactively. If you target virtually, you may have to envisioneer virally. We believe we know that it is better to enable intuitively than to synthesize magnetically. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to utilize proactively. We will streamline the industry jargon "transparent". A company that can recontextualize courageously will (one day) be able to utilize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be synergistic? We think that most magnetic, viral entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think B2B. Without subscriber communities, you will lack synergistic, value-added obfuscation. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling global process management management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to enhance mega-virtually than to repurpose super-globally. Think macro-24/7. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to e-enable. What does it really mean to maximize "virally"? Think super-virtual. A company that can deploy courageously will (eventually) be able to brand courageously. The ability to scale iteravely leads to the aptitude to embrace iteravely. What does the commonly-used term "transparent, mission-critical versioning" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? Without preplanned real-world versioning, user communities are forced to become viral.