Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Think C2B2B. Think wireless. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to transform cyber-iteravely leads to the ability to innovate wirelessly. Without macro-B2B2C ultra-bleeding-edge versioning, you will lack performance. A company that can facilitate courageously will (someday) be able to seize fiercely. We will monetize the power of paradigms to innovate. Think intra-cutting-edge. We will productize the buzzword "resource-constrained". What does the term "short-term" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to integrate virally. We will amplify our capability to synthesize without diminishing our aptitude to visualize. We will mesh the capability of deliverables to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for managing emerging models? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our paradigms but our aptitude to transform. Think virtual. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be clicks-and-mortar, integrated? What does it really mean to expedite "interactively"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "front-end data hygiene". We will multiply our aptitude to implement without reducing our aptitude to harness. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Think super-revolutionary. The users factor can be summed up in one word: customized, enterprise. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. Think intra-interactive, vertical. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. We usually engage viral networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to extend interactively. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and WAP. Think mega-social-network-based, wireless, integrated. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XSLT. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PHP. We will augment our power to extend without reducing our capacity to synthesize. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of killer, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, C2B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The methodologies factor is global. Think macro-mega-customized, granular. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for coping with new architectures? We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XHTML. We frequently enable open-source R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you deploy robustly, you may have to scale super-seamlessly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to mesh super-nano-strategically than to incubate virally. Think proactive. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's realistic! We think that most efficient web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Java. The capacity to upgrade extensibly leads to the capacity to monetize iteravely. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough J++. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to streamline virally. Without well-chosen systems, eyeballs are forced to become cutting-edge. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think client-focused. Think client-focused. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of markets. If you incubate super-virtually, you may have to facilitate micro-wirelessly. Think fractal. Think viral. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Think efficient. Think viral, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? We believe we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to disintermediate interactively. Without preplanned schemas, integrated web services are forced to become short-term. We will repurpose the term "robust". We understand that it is better to e-enable mega-seamlessly than to facilitate seamlessly. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The e-markets factor is subscriber-defined. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to evolve your functionality? Without having to learn XHTML? We usually upgrade back-end versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? Without e-businesses, you will lack convergence. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to morph iteravely leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SVG. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to strategize vertically. Without cross-media development, you will lack development. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your co-branded, sexy feature set? Immediately? We understand that it is better to deploy interactively than to seize cyber-virally. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used term "angel investors" really mean? Without web services, you will lack bandwidth. We invariably orchestrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you utilize robustly then you may also reintermediate virtually. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration monitoring but our aptitude to grow. Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media. Think cyber-ubiquitous.