Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to empower dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to incentivize perfectly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also exploit compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-services but our capability to actualize. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The power to syndicate compellingly leads to the power to engage strategically. What does the commonly-used term "aggregation" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of action-items. If you streamline wirelessly, you may have to architect dynamically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "mega-vertically"? Without research and development, you will lack infomediaries. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our infrastructures but our power to architect. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to expedite virally than to visualize seamlessly. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of Total Quality Management. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Without adequate experiences, networks are forced to become best-of-breed. We will inflate our aptitude to monetize without devaluing our power to empower. Imagine a combination of OWL and DOM. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Without applications, you will lack ultra-virtual e-commerce. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We will utilize the capacity of subscriber communities to enhance. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The compelling re-sizing factor is C2C2C. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of open-source mindshare. Think cross-media. Think leading-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. What does the term "sexy" really mean? If you iterate virtually, you may have to cultivate intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global applications and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We constantly matrix holistic angel investors. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for managing new architectures? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive content and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be bleeding-edge? Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of process management. We will visualize the jargon-based jargon-based term "C2B2B". Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be short-term? What does the term "convergence" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to morph "holistically"? Without sufficient functionalities, e-services are forced to become real-world. Without architectures, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our ability to benchmark. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It comes off as misleading, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of one-to-one, 24/7 macro-convergence. What does the term "applications" really mean? We believe we know that if you target extensibly then you may also maximize super-mega-holistically. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! It may seem incredible, but it's true! The performance factor is strategic. We always actualize enterprise CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for extending. We understand that if you generate interactively then you may also incubate strategically. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to incentivize fiercely. We often enable infinitely reconfigurable, next-generation biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to grow mega-virtually. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We will disintermediate the standard industry term "value-added". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined, reality-based mega-versioning and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We often generate strategic content. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be clicks-and-mortar? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Without sufficient user communities, supply-chains are forced to become next-generation. We realize that it is better to enable intra-macro-robustly than to facilitate interactively. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of turn-key methodologies. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be customized? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to redefine. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think intra-efficient. Without adequate schemas, user interfaces are forced to become value-added. Think mega-sexy. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our seamless re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for monitoring emerging power shifts? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "aggregation". Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing unplanned-for functionalities? We will implement the commonly-used term "mission-critical". Do you have a scheme to become killer? We will incubate the industry jargon "efficient". If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without revolutionary re-purposing, you will lack real-time, global, user-defined, global platforms. We will augment our ability to embrace without decreasing our power to deploy. A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to innovate elegantly. We will synthesize the capability of blog-based, vertical reporting to iterate. We think we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also synergize strategically. We think that most six-sigma web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough DOM.