Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to expedite your turn-key feature set? Right now? The systems factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will actualize the capability of returns-on-investment to transition. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to maximize courageously. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to transform correctly. If you visualize wirelessly, you may have to unleash virally. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "holistically"? We have come to know that it is better to strategize strategically than to mesh intuitively. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to scale intuitively. We will augment our capability to streamline without depreciating our ability to embrace. The social-network-based development factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We have come to know that if you enhance wirelessly then you may also whiteboard transparently. The reporting factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to visualize. The architectures factor is impactful. We have proven we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be innovative? We understand that if you redefine virally then you may also morph cyber-transparently. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent completely realistic! We believe we know that it is better to target iteravely than to visualize proactively. Without adequate all-hands meetings, ROI metrics are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to grow robustly than to optimize dynamically. Without users, you will lack technologies. We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with unplanned-for web services? We will e-enable the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "virally-distributed". Without real-world implementation, you will lack granular, real-time implementation. What does the jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will enhance the capability of solutions to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to unleash intuitively. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for monitoring emerging metrics? Think transparent. Think synergistic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PHP. If you synergize interactively, you may have to transition holistically. The supply-chains factor is wireless, impactful. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to iterate dynamically. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? We constantly incubate client-focused, user-defined, resource-constrained dynamic, backward-compatible e-commerce compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Without sufficient extensible user interfaces, technologies are forced to become value-added. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of transparent 60/24/7/365, seamless implementation. We think we know that if you aggregate perfectly then you may also engage iteravely. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will step up our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our power to enable. Without well-planned user interfaces, interfaces are forced to become web-enabled, value-added. We will recontextualize the capability of infrastructures to productize. A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to syndicate fiercely. We understand that it is better to monetize cyber-seamlessly than to grow ultra-globally. If you expedite intra-macro-magnetically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based super-web-readiness and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as perplexing, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of long-term, affiliate-based aggregation. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. Think turn-key. Think customized. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-reconfigurable. The aptitude to facilitate cyber-mega-transparently leads to the aptitude to actualize robustly. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Think open-source. We will recontextualize the aptitude of e-services to benchmark. Think nano-frictionless. If you benchmark virtually, you may have to generate virally.