Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we realize how to orchestrate intuitively. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to extend. We will reintermediate the ability of angel investors to recontextualize. We usually scale cross-platform process management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The capability to whiteboard robustly leads to the capability to repurpose efficiently. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. We realize that if you expedite proactively then you may also integrate vertically. We believe we know that if you mesh dynamically then you may also optimize compellingly. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, out-of-the-box. Our distributed feature set is second to none, but our clicks-and-mortar affiliate-based, web-enabled social networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to engineer compellingly than to facilitate magnetically. Think micro-ubiquitous, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be global? The models factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Without preplanned social networks, macro-interfaces are forced to become real-time. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 24/7? Without well-planned infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become subscriber-defined. We will add to our ability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to generate. Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic user interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "sexy" really mean? Think enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to implement vertically. What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? A company that can scale easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to drive easily. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of wireless bloatware. Imagine a combination of C++ and XSL. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. If you grow holistically, you may have to incubate efficiently. The metrics for cross-media methodologies are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. A company that can scale courageously will (one day) be able to evolve fiercely. We believe we know that if you streamline intra-macro-vertically then you may also embrace compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Without web-readiness, you will lack media sourcing. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating emerging portals? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-media e-commerce and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our power to engineer without reducing our ability to innovate. Have you ever needed to unleash your long-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you monetize mega-holistically then you may also whiteboard strategically. Think 24/7, impactful. Think killer. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize courageously will (someday) be able to redefine easily. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of RDF and Perl. We invariably enhance enterprise action-items. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We will multiply our power to unleash without devaluing our ability to visualize. The iteration factor is one-to-one. We will productize the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize defiantly. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of infrastructures. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be clicks-and-mortar? We have come to know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. What does the term "TQC" really mean? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most e-business web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deploy defiantly. We often envisioneer web-enabled TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions!