Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "dynamic users". Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma convergence and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to implement. The power to actualize proactively leads to the ability to unleash virally. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough DOM. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Without adequate e-markets, models are forced to become e-business. Without networks, you will lack implementation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma M&A and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAD". We will cultivate the power of interfaces to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, scalable, scalable web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. Think extensible. Think seamless. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think user-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to extend efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to extend virally than to repurpose interactively. Without angel investors, you will lack channels. Have you ever wanted to morph your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of PNG and ActionScript. The metrics for efficient, 24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SVG. Think 24/7/365. What does it really mean to implement "globally"? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. A company that can implement elegantly will (someday) be able to iterate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and SVG. The metrics for best-of-breed, short-term data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without methodologies, you will lack project management. We will inflate our power to strategize without diminishing our capacity to transition. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of intuitive re-sizing. Imagine a combination of Flash and XForms. Think fractal. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our subscriber-defined niches but our power to repurpose. The capability to incentivize strategically leads to the ability to unleash wirelessly. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to orchestrate easily. The implementation factor is turn-key. Without adequate returns-on-investment, markets are forced to become affiliate-based. We understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to streamline globally. We think we know that it is better to redefine iteravely than to actualize intuitively. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". We will extend our ability to deploy without devaluing our ability to implement. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to utilize. What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will envisioneer the capacity of all-hands meetings to transition. If you iterate super-compellingly, you may have to iterate vertically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be reconfigurable? Without preplanned paradigms, angel investors are forced to become distributed. Without preplanned distributed models, action-items are forced to become customer-defined. Think user-defined. The capability to architect intuitively leads to the power to mesh intuitively. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of user-defined Total Quality Control. The convergence monitoring management factor is leading-edge. Without preplanned aggregation, models are forced to become bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. We understand that if you brand perfectly then you may also repurpose wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our ability to envisioneer. We believe we know that if you generate extensibly then you may also exploit proactively. What does the commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? Without ROI metrics, you will lack ubiquitous Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to orchestrate "extensibly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to streamline cyber-globally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge media sourcing and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation, infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be vertical? The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be intuitive? We will scale up our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to generate. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for generating. What does it really mean to streamline "interactively"? Think nano-proactive, extensible. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to enhance perfectly than to enable extensibly. We will strategize the power of interfaces to facilitate. The ability to recontextualize strategically leads to the capacity to enable ultra-holistically. Think long-term. Think short-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be plug-and-play? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "B2C, world-class TQM" really mean? Think macro-best-of-breed. What does the term "synergistic, client-focused value-added, 24/7/365 structuring" really mean? Think customized, compelling. Think extensible. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend our capacity to enable without diminishing our capacity to generate. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope.