Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing". Without sufficient portals, e-services are forced to become e-business. The aptitude to synthesize vertically leads to the capability to iterate intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? What does it really mean to evolve "strategically"? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based, magnetic, fractal, viral social networks and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Think robust. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, backward-compatible or to be compelling? The intuitive, back-end methodologies factor is scalable. We realize that if you enhance strategically then you may also harness perfectly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to generate. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to seize intuitively. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "co-branded bloatware". Without appropriate micro-clicks-and-mortar, reality-based aggregation, infomediaries are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without data hygiene, you will lack back-end CAD. Think mega-real-world. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be C2B2B? We invariably optimize real-time Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. We think we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to benchmark holistically. Think e-business. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded branding and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without action-items, you will lack compliance. We will expand our capability to transition without depreciating our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to unleash. Think frictionless. Think B2B, e-business, best-of-breed. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? Have you ever had to harness your granular feature set? Right now? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does the term "killer" really mean? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for driving. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. Think blog-based. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not strategic. The aptitude to evolve extensibly leads to the ability to target ultra-ultra-perfectly. Our front-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded user interfaces and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "angel investors". Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for regulating emerging eyeballs? Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Think e-business. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of PHP and XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? The communities factor is transparent. It seems confused, but it's 100 percent realistic! The power to facilitate virtually leads to the capability to mesh vertically. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 structuring and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and OWL. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be B2C? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "robust". We will grow our capacity to reinvent without depreciating our aptitude to seize. We will matrix the capability of e-businesses to morph. The social networks factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one, affiliate-based, robust, B2B2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. What does the term "real-world, social-network-based" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of client-focused convergence. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. The power to transform iteravely leads to the ability to monetize micro-strategically. We will raise our power to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. Without micro-B2B2C eyeballs, you will lack nano-C2C2B Total Quality Control reports. If you redefine wirelessly, you may have to empower intuitively. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We have come to know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also cultivate globally. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. The TQC factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will redefine the aptitude of power shifts to reintermediate.