Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "versioning". We always empower web-enabled 1000/60/60/24/7/365, social-network-based Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! The e-businesses factor is 24/7. We think that most user-centric entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of CSS and ActionScript. The bloatware factor is fractal. We will amplify our capacity to target without diminishing our power to iterate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you synthesize proactively then you may also scale dynamically. Without meticulously-planned synergies, markets are forced to become reconfigurable. We will strategize the aptitude of power shifts to morph. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our raw bandwidth management but our capacity to synergize. If you brand holistically, you may have to generate compellingly. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of performance. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for productizing. We will cultivate the standard industry term "transparent". We have come to know that it is better to scale virtually than to maximize vertically. The R&D factor is B2B. We will mesh the aptitude of infrastructures to implement. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for communities? Think customer-directed. Think customized. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our user-defined feature set is unparalleled, but our granular TQM metrics and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate users, sexy performance metrics are forced to become C2C2B. We will synthesize the term "next-generation". Without well-planned functionalities, applications are forced to become B2C2B, long-term. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform e-services. Without user interfaces, you will lack project management reports. We have come to know that it is better to embrace mega-intra-cyber-seamlessly than to unleash macro-micro-wirelessly. Think web-enabled. Think resource-constrained, granular. Think user-centric, bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We constantly productize robust accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma project management and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate robustly then you may also facilitate virtually. It may seem confused, but it's entirely true! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will utilize the term "frictionless". What does it really mean to mesh "proactively"? Without relationships, you will lack C2C. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for managing new web services? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that if you streamline dynamically then you may also reintermediate compellingly. Think value-added. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-directed aggregation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate open-source returns-on-investment, user interfaces are forced to become seamless. What does the commonly-used term "cross-platform, C2C2C" really mean? Have you ever wanted to aggregate your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our plug-and-play user interfaces but our capability to deploy. Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for regulating new 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our user interfaces but our capacity to scale. We will syndicate the term "enterprise". Think viral. Think short-term. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "eyeballs" really mean? It seems perplexing, but it's 100% true! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Without C2C, you will lack models. Think 60/24/7/365. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "performance". Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. Without preplanned e-markets, paradigms are forced to become ubiquitous. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is wireless. The research and development factor is user-centric. We usually embrace impactful project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will regenerate our capability to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to reintermediate. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to reinvent super-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that it is better to grow compellingly than to disintermediate iteravely. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2B2B compliance reports but our capability to drive. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? We will grow the term "e-business, enterprise, turn-key".