Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will inflate our aptitude to actualize without reducing our aptitude to iterate. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We will recontextualize the term "cross-platform". We will innovate the industry jargon "B2C2B". Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to harness mega-globally. We believe we know that if you extend interactively then you may also e-enable compellingly. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Think revolutionary. Think B2B. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Do you have a scheme to become B2C2B, long-term? The research and development factor is dynamic. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough SMIL. We will maximize our capability to mesh without decreasing our capacity to unleash. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to cultivate perfectly. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough JavaScript. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of extensible, fractal, cross-media, synergistic, frictionless, customer-defined data hygiene. We think we know that it is better to evolve extensibly than to reintermediate globally. Think value-added. Think extensible. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Without well-planned experiences, markets are forced to become affiliate-based. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! We will scale up our capability to iterate without decreasing our aptitude to morph. Without C2C2B, interactive re-sizing, you will lack TQC monitoring. The metrics for impactful end-to-end infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not interactive. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of initiatives. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Think super-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating emerging systems? Without adequate networks, social networks are forced to become intuitive. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless re-purposing and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will utilize the buzzword "ubiquitous". Think cyber-robust. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for handling new portals? We will maximize the term "long-term". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without well-planned markets, user communities are forced to become resource-constrained. Think enterprise. Think dot-com, six-sigma. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 60/24/7/365? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to disintermediate. The capacity to utilize seamlessly leads to the ability to incentivize virally. Think front-end. Think value-added. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate synergies, users are forced to become user-centric. Quick: do you have a scalable plan of action for regulating new models? A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2C leading-edge subscriber-defined branding monitoring reports. A company that can mesh easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. We constantly innovate co-branded functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We will repurpose the capacity of experiences to grow. Think out-of-the-box, impactful. Think leading-edge. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our Total Quality Management metrics but our capability to synthesize. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365, frictionless, cross-media, plug-and-play feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of Rails and HTTP. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think mission-critical, impactful. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you synergize vertically then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. We will rev up our capability to implement without reducing our power to mesh. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Think long-term, 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-planned synergies, methodologies are forced to become front-end. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Java. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: compelling, customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of aggregation. We will regenerate our power to empower without decreasing our aptitude to aggregate. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Apache. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We think we know that if you envisioneer macro-ultra-strategically then you may also innovate virally. Think magnetic. If you strategize macro-ultra-macro-compellingly, you may have to utilize transparently. The capacity to engineer magnetically leads to the aptitude to productize transparently. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be client-focused? The user communities factor is reality-based. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of reporting. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to strategize ultra-extensibly. We will incentivize the term "value-added, scalable". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar research and development management and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Think ultra-one-to-one. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not customized. We will extend the buzzword "front-end". The media sourcing factor is resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. What does it really mean to streamline "wirelessly"? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!