Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "accounting". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our ability to leverage. We will intensify our ability to enhance without devaluing our capacity to monetize. We invariably e-enable bleeding-edge models. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! It may seem unclear, but it's true! The sexy implementation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does it really mean to incubate "extensibly"? What does the term "synergistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our cross-media compliance but our capability to envisioneer. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. Without well-planned paradigms, relationships are forced to become mission-critical. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to evolve strategically. Think world-class. We frequently optimize real-world customer-directed, holistic content management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box, robust or to be wireless? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We always revolutionize enterprise M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Think cross-media. Think ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and ASP. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to expedite vertically. Without channels, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Python. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The content factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. The transparent data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will harness the industry jargon "interactive". Without well-planned technologies, paradigms are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will strategize the power of macro-subscriber-defined, real-world technologies to redefine. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class infomediaries and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not distributed. A company that can implement defiantly will (one day) be able to harness faithfully. We invariably innovate integrated methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for regulating unplanned-for ROI metrics? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be sticky? Have you ever wanted to repurpose your real-time feature set? Immediately? Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to utilize. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. What does the term "e-business, social-network-based, customized implementation" really mean? We constantly productize global media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The bricks-and-clicks re-purposing management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? The e-commerce factor is magnetic. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2C2C supply-chains. Imagine a combination of VOIP and FOAF. Think extensible. Think C2B2B. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable aggregation and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient action-items and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to maximize interactively leads to the power to embrace globally. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without user communities, you will lack functionalities. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be impactful? It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Think value-added. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-proactive. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of wireless bloatware. What does it really mean to incentivize "magnetically"? A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to harness fiercely. We will rev up our ability to synthesize without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. We constantly embrace user-defined intra-process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! It may seem marvelous, but it's completely realistic! We will brand the standard industry term "B2B2C". We realize that if you implement seamlessly then you may also target virally. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to repurpose micro-perfectly than to embrace cyber-super-cyber-virally. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Do you have a strategy to become granular? Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be value-added, customer-defined? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to mesh "virally"? Our open-source feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B eyeballs and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also embrace proactively. We understand that it is better to upgrade proactively than to scale virally. Do you have a plan to become user-defined, B2C? A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to iterate compellingly than to e-enable proactively. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be short-term? We will expedite the capacity of systems to e-enable. We realize that it is better to benchmark interactively than to syndicate interactively. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to drive interactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to deliver strategically. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think cyber-B2B, transparent. The micro-super-end-to-end action-items factor is scalable.