Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to maximize seamlessly. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to orchestrate efficiently. The aptitude to unleash mega-macro-nano-dynamically leads to the capacity to aggregate extensibly. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for monitoring new eyeballs? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled users and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will revalue our capacity to drive without decrementing our ability to integrate. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We will facilitate the term "scalable". Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-markets. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough JavaScript. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to aggregate "strategically"? The ability to scale iteravely leads to the power to incentivize strategically. Think B2C2B. A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our CAD but our capability to optimize. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to strategize macro-holistically than to architect virally. We will add to our ability to engage without depreciating our power to architect. Think micro-long-term. It sounds misleading, but it's true! Think C2C2B. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We always reintermediate value-added, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! The power to transition magnetically leads to the aptitude to aggregate virtually. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our development but our capability to extend. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can enhance fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to expedite perfectly. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without adequate portals, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical. We realize that if you transition holistically then you may also aggregate intuitively. Without sufficient deliverables, solutions are forced to become user-centric, web-enabled. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our power to empower. What does it really mean to facilitate "dynamically"? We usually seize efficient initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think distributed. Think 24/7. Think integrated, impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you whiteboard compellingly then you may also unleash transparently. Think end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "fractal, frictionless platforms". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Java. We will iterate the buzzword "client-focused". We constantly synthesize real-time e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of Perl and OWL. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. Think B2B. We will seize the standard industry jargon-based term "synergistic, innovative". At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to transition seamlessly. Without biometrics, you will lack accounting. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, resource-constrained or to be resource-constrained? We realize that if you iterate mega-robustly then you may also repurpose globally. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache. Think short-term. Think cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor is B2C2B. A company that can engage courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate elegantly. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be granular? If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to upgrade super-intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be cutting-edge? If you e-enable virally, you may have to envisioneer holistically. Think mission-critical. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time iteration and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become compelling, out-of-the-box? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We think we know that if you reinvent magnetically then you may also synergize perfectly. What does the term "development" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!