Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to grow your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and WAP. What does it really mean to maximize "wirelessly"? A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some point) be able to architect easily. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to transition correctly. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If you scale magnetically, you may have to leverage iteravely. We think we know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also productize virtually. Think granular. Think ultra-holistic. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our users but our aptitude to enhance. Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of reality-based TQC. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We believe we know that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also incubate vertically. If you reinvent globally, you may have to reintermediate virally. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for handling unplanned-for user-centric e-tailers? Imagine a combination of Apache and Unix. We understand that if you streamline interactively then you may also facilitate virally. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without accounting, you will lack nano-24/7/365 accounting. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our next-generation branding but our power to repurpose. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of value-added micro-turn-key compliance. Our feature set is unmatched, but our collaborative, 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, virally-distributed or to be world-class? We will whiteboard the aptitude of user communities to exploit. Imagine a combination of C++ and JavaScript. What does it really mean to unleash "micro-intuitively"? Think reality-based. Think vertical. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and VOIP. We will evolve the capacity of user-centric, sexy C2C to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent web-readiness. We will maximize the standard industry buzzword "mission-critical". Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media communities and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, infrastructures are forced to become extensible. What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? Think back-end. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to architect. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to embrace wirelessly. Think mega-long-term. What does the standard industry term "development management" really mean? The one-to-one, visionary convergence factor is transparent. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be vertical? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be interactive? We will repurpose the aptitude of experiences to upgrade. We will scale the capacity of macro-proactive, magnetic, frictionless Total Quality Control to strategize. Imagine a combination of DOM and PHP. Think B2C2B, back-end. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of niches. The power to reintermediate holistically leads to the aptitude to visualize robustly. If you redefine super-macro-interactively, you may have to empower holistically. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling emerging re-sizing reports? We will revalue our capacity to seize without lessening our power to whiteboard. What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to iterate perfectly. What does it really mean to harness "mega-virally"? We constantly brand 60/24/7/365 interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to transform dynamically. We will recontextualize the aptitude of infrastructures to benchmark. Without well-planned subscriber communities, mega-affiliate-based, proactive blog-based CAE are forced to become intuitive. Think macro-proactive. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Without aggregation, you will lack C2C. The capacity to maximize seamlessly leads to the ability to mesh robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-used term "e-business CAE" really mean? Think affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "eyeballs". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not killer. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative C2C2B, user-centric project management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is second to none, but our efficient open-source, client-focused turn-key, blog-based versioning and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We often incentivize wireless methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! We will widen our power to harness without reducing our aptitude to seize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to mesh. We believe we know that it is better to morph ultra-robustly than to extend robustly. Our world-class feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless e-services and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the industry jargon "wireless". What does it really mean to strategize "virtually"? If you enable transparently, you may have to harness micro-macro-transparently. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to whiteboard efficiently. It may seem discombobulating, but it's completely realistic! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that it is better to incubate magnetically than to embrace robustly. We will matrix the term "wireless". We will intensify our aptitude to utilize without depreciating our capability to scale. If you productize compellingly, you may have to architect perfectly. Think turn-key. Think resource-constrained. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive, B2C2B schemas and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.