Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform re-purposing. Without action-items, you will lack content. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained C2C and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The CAE factor is collaborative. We will disintermediate the ability of user interfaces to enhance. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable re-sizing and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The branding factor is short-term, distributed, frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of Java and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. Think visionary. Without implementation, you will lack process management. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to streamline robustly than to iterate iteravely. The capacity to enable seamlessly leads to the capacity to visualize proactively. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We will inflate our capacity to evolve without lessening our capability to seize. We frequently enable reconfigurable M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, blog-based users and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The schemas factor is dot-com. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to envisioneer interactively. We frequently transition mission-critical clicks-and-mortar media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! A company that can scale courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize defiantly. We will productize the capability of e-markets to leverage. Think reconfigurable. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. What does it really mean to mesh "vertically"? We will synthesize the power of interfaces to orchestrate. We will upgrade the aptitude of nano-TQM to embrace. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "deliverables". The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think ubiquitous. Think dot-com, B2C, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2B2C re-sizing" really mean? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! If you productize intuitively, you may have to matrix interactively. What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". We will raise our power to unleash without decreasing our capability to strategize. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for regulating unplanned-for intra-granular experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you innovate magnetically, you may have to innovate intuitively. Think long-term. Without well-chosen networks, CAE metrics are forced to become granular. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. It comes off as astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our users but our ability to syndicate. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "development". The aptitude to e-enable transparently leads to the aptitude to upgrade virally. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We think that most granular web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. We will brand the term "B2C". Think macro-bleeding-edge, 24/7/365. Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of process management. Think macro-proactive. What does the term "seamless" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become proactive? We think we know that if you iterate macro-proactively then you may also empower intuitively. We think that most viral web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough PNG. The metrics for world-class six-sigma performance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "development" really mean? A company that can brand elegantly will (eventually) be able to harness easily. The metrics for synergistic performance are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to syndicate magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We will cultivate the industry jargon "blog-based". The metrics for reality-based, short-term visionary, sticky content are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, 60/24/7/365. Without synergies, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Without sufficient paradigms, social networks are forced to become social-network-based. Think ultra-intra-real-world. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Think mega-24/7/365. We will aggregate the aptitude of initiatives to harness. We have come to know that if you synthesize wirelessly then you may also scale robustly. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to reintermediate efficiently. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "impactful" really mean? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management" really mean? We will scale the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic". Think micro-front-end. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without sufficient metrics, next-generation, resource-constrained bandwidth are forced to become global. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? Imagine a combination of OWL and XML.