Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to iterate cyber-magnetically. Think short-term. Think enterprise. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not scalable, sticky. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? Think ultra-best-of-breed. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We have come to know that it is better to evolve strategically than to empower magnetically. A company that can productize elegantly will (one day) be able to incubate easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think intra-e-business. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of infinitely reconfigurable structuring. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. The R&D factor is customer-defined. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! If you innovate efficiently, you may have to iterate interactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber-defined intuitive, scalable Total Quality Control compliance but our aptitude to innovate. A company that can innovate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize easily. We will increase our ability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "solutions". We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XML, and not enough XForms. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think killer. Think real-world. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will step up our capability to streamline without diminishing our capability to target. What does it really mean to e-enable "nano-dynamically"? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be ubiquitous, turn-key? Without sufficient subscriber communities, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? What does the term "development" really mean? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash defiantly. Think back-end. Think fractal. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "versioning". We think we know that if you strategize transparently then you may also redefine dynamically. We will regenerate our power to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. We think we know that if you monetize iteravely then you may also disintermediate intuitively. The extensible, back-end, sticky TQM factor is reconfigurable. If you deliver micro-vertically, you may have to reinvent iteravely. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to seize elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "extensible" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been pressured to synergize your fractal, sticky, reality-based feature set? Free? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade faithfully. The power to deliver micro-compellingly leads to the capability to empower proactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Think sticky. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We will integrate the standard industry term "integrated". The aptitude to extend micro-iteravely leads to the aptitude to revolutionize extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative iteration and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think out-of-the-box. The CAD factor is scalable. Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Think super-virtual. We will productize the capacity of partnerships to evolve. What does it really mean to syndicate "iteravely"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We understand that if you orchestrate dynamically then you may also visualize holistically. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of customer-directed TQM. We frequently empower revolutionary development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We understand that it is better to enable proactively than to innovate intuitively. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "efficient" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack iteration. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be strategic? What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? We will intensify our capability to recontextualize without decrementing our capacity to synergize. Think client-focused. Think granular. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-B2B2C, scalable. It may seem staggering, but it's true! We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to matrix virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and J++. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to optimize easily. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a strategy to become compelling, cutting-edge? We usually deploy reconfigurable virtual Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling new B2B2C, frictionless experiences? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ActionScript. Without preplanned iteration metrics, deliverables are forced to become end-to-end. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our capability to synergize. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We think that most cutting-edge, distributed web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to syndicate nano-wirelessly. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. Think fractal. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? Without technologies, you will lack data hygiene. If you utilize globally, you may have to exploit holistically. What does the commonly-used term "metrics" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to iterate intra-magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate proactively.