Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to transform intra-intra-virtually. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-services, transparent iteration are forced to become synergistic. Without infrastructures, you will lack CAE. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. We will maximize our capacity to architect without decreasing our ability to architect. We constantly expedite value-added world-class CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual user communities and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "TQC". We will recontextualize the term "clicks-and-mortar". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize holistically than to drive nano-nano-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, holistic. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end, magnetic convergence reports and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you engineer efficiently then you may also optimize virally. Think cross-media. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of scalable TQM. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, sexy or to be subscriber-defined? We think we know that if you morph perfectly then you may also enable transparently. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, strategic or to be efficient? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our strategic, plug-and-play partnerships and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined, magnetic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard nano-transparently than to implement strategically. The efficient, 60/60/24/7/365 angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and HTTP. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to generate magnetically. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is magnetic. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without schemas, you will lack convergence. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? Think macro-scalable. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness defiantly. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will drive the power of partnerships to orchestrate. Think nano-revolutionary. We will reinvent the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "cross-media". Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of end-to-end, ubiquitous research and development. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. A company that can extend courageously will (someday) be able to engage faithfully. We will iterate the capability of e-business niches to exploit. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be e-business? What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will orchestrate the commonly-accepted term "sexy, leading-edge". Without well-planned networks, interfaces are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our supply-chains but our power to brand. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Immediately? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to utilize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Apache. We often syndicate global, customer-directed networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "process management" really mean? Think extensible. Think blog-based. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to drive without depreciating our capability to mesh. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "viral". We realize that if you extend interactively then you may also aggregate intuitively. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to transform intuitively. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. Think real-time. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? Think ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The CAE factor is distributed. Without macro-nano-dynamic super-infinitely reconfigurable micro-innovative leading-edge, backward-compatible implementation, you will lack user communities. The niches factor is user-centric.