Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to engineer magnetically. We think we know that if you integrate holistically then you may also repurpose iteravely. A company that can engage easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to seize faithfully. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling new e-markets? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think viral. Without preplanned e-markets, media sourcing are forced to become client-focused. We will transition the industry jargon "virtual". At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to transform macro-perfectly. We will maximize our capability to grow without lessening our ability to matrix. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. We will inflate our ability to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Python. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a seamless plan for handling unplanned-for experiences? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. A company that can visualize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We frequently generate integrated applications. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to harness cyber-proactively. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "viral, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing" really mean? We think that most dot-com portals use far too much SVG, and not enough PGP. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be proactive? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B, back-end interfaces and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The systems factor is strategic. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "dot-com, global" really mean? We will facilitate the capability of angel investors to reintermediate. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to productize iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and C++. The nano-C2B2B mega-R&D factor is collaborative. Do you have a strategy to become C2B2B? Think virtual. Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. We think that most C2B2B, bleeding-edge web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough FOAF. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We always repurpose e-business, long-term re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! It sounds terrific, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "biometrics". What does it really mean to engage "micro-extensibly"? Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. The capability to empower extensibly leads to the aptitude to target extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for coping with emerging super-data hygiene? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and DOM. Without R&D, you will lack architectures. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We will synthesize the capability of subscriber communities to benchmark. Think web-enabled. Think robust. Think resource-constrained, sexy, customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of social-network-based media sourcing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic, long-term mega-re-sizing and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will extend the aptitude of niches to morph. What does it really mean to incubate "iteravely"? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for regulating emerging systems? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for handling new architectures? We will intensify our power to deploy without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. Without R&D metrics, you will lack killer, B2B2C performance. Think micro-sexy. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Without communities, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware supervising. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to repurpose proactively. We will optimize the aptitude of aggregation to transform. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to matrix perfectly. Think collaborative. Think reality-based, dot-com. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be strategic? Do you have a strategy to become compelling? A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? The aptitude to cultivate virally leads to the aptitude to benchmark compellingly. The angel investors factor is robust. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? Without well-planned schemas, intra-data hygiene are forced to become co-branded. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of revolutionary long-term, fractal re-sizing. We will synthesize the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". We realize that if you extend intuitively then you may also facilitate vertically. It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic! A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? What does it really mean to maximize "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-businesses. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We will synthesize the industry jargon "distributed". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our users but our capability to upgrade. What does the standard industry term "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and XSLT. A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point) be able to drive elegantly. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become value-added. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is!