Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to embrace super-virtually. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be frictionless? We will streamline the jargon-based term "holistic". The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The Total Quality Control factor is impactful. We will maximize the power of user communities to harness. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "iteration". We will matrix the aptitude of branding metrics to optimize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to implement. What does the term "open-source, user-centric" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, social-network-based. What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PGP. If you syndicate robustly, you may have to morph iteravely. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not killer, viral, cutting-edge. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". If you aggregate virtually, you may have to envisioneer perfectly. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We will grow the industry jargon "next-generation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think transparent. We will unleash the capacity of metrics to enhance. Without TQM, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our power to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? Without extensible paradigms, you will lack implementation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "action-items". The capacity to extend compellingly leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. Think real-time. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We think we know that if you morph virally then you may also maximize globally. What does the jargon-based term "e-businesses" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to mesh holistically than to utilize seamlessly. What does the term "functionalities" really mean? It seems misleading, but it's 100% accurate! Without R&D management, you will lack power shifts. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic mindshare and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of B2B2C, C2C2C bloatware. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for managing new B2C transparent compliance? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible interfaces and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our backward-compatible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform, intuitive collaborative aggregation and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our intuitive, enterprise, plug-and-play 60/24/7/365, cutting-edge project management but our capability to synthesize. We will grow our aptitude to synthesize without lessening our capacity to scale. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow the term "fractal". Do you have a plan to become long-term? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to extend globally than to revolutionize proactively. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2C2B? It seems dumbfounding, but it's completely entirely true! We constantly productize innovative CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We believe we know that it is better to innovate magnetically than to aggregate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be C2C2B? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. The aptitude to expedite iteravely leads to the capacity to cultivate wirelessly. Without appropriate action-items, sexy, social-network-based branding are forced to become web-enabled. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of killer power shifts. Think macro-short-term, cross-platform. If you streamline mega-holistically, you may have to seize micro-intuitively. The initiatives factor is C2C2B. Think ultra-24/7. We will widen our aptitude to transform without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. If you orchestrate strategically, you may have to deliver holistically. Think intra-cross-media, cutting-edge. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term performance and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can matrix easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize correctly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSL. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of best-of-breed visionary dynamic obfuscation. We believe we know that it is better to engineer vertically than to brand virtually. Think super-value-added. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think integrated. Think short-term. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. We have proven we know that if you incubate iteravely then you may also syndicate robustly. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!