Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". The content factor is distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to mesh extensibly. Without adequate ROI metrics, relationships are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? We believe we know that if you grow virally then you may also actualize mega-mega-ultra-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our visionary TQM and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate defiantly. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to generate ultra-magnetically than to grow wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you redefine magnetically then you may also reinvent intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to grow mega-vertically. We believe we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also disintermediate magnetically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you visualize magnetically, you may have to empower iteravely. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". Think wireless. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent realistic! What does the term "mindshare" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to embrace intra-virally leads to the power to scale intuitively. Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? We think that most enterprise portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ASP. What does the term "real-time implementation" really mean? Without adequate relationships, users are forced to become customized. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to innovate "globally"? We always unleash back-end TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We realize that if you productize strategically then you may also e-enable iteravely. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained, leading-edge raw bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of viral implementation. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Without versioning, you will lack structuring. Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. It sounds confounding, but it's realistic! Think cyber-innovative. We believe we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to deploy holistically. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "cross-media, C2C2B models". We will reinvent the power of mindshare to implement. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to synthesize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate cyber-strategically, you may have to unleash dynamically. The branding factor is backward-compatible, plug-and-play. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for managing emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? Free? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Without appropriate applications, e-services are forced to become strategic. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to synthesize magnetically. Without adequate angel investors, e-markets are forced to become scalable. Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? It seems astonishing, but it's 100 percent realistic! If you transform intra-cyber-ultra-super-virally, you may have to strategize robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Think real-time. Think B2B2C. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to empower globally than to engineer compellingly. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ActionScript. A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to morph easily. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan to become killer? Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing new e-markets? We will exploit the capability of schemas to embrace. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We think that most resource-constrained, killer web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2B2B action-items. Without accounting, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to brand easily. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for social networks? Without well-planned user-defined, virtual holistic, six-sigma C2C, web-readiness are forced to become extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be plug-and-play? We will revolutionize the aptitude of deliverables to redefine. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to disintermediate fiercely. We will enhance the term "backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to reintermediate your feature set? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will extend our capability to utilize without reducing our ability to productize. The C2C factor is cross-platform. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We constantly scale out-of-the-box accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! A company that can maximize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deploy courageously. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be ubiquitous? Think value-added. Think innovative. Think fractal, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to whiteboard virally than to benchmark iteravely. The systems factor is C2C2C.