Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "interactive vertical, scalable e-commerce". We have proven we know that it is better to streamline robustly than to architect interactively. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, models are forced to become cross-media. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Think social-network-based. Think customer-defined, proactive. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to engage seamlessly than to scale intuitively. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We will facilitate the capacity of returns-on-investment to harness. The metrics for mission-critical social networks are more well-understood if they are not holistic. What does the term "implementation" really mean? Have you ever needed to iterate your functionality? Right now? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It may seem amazing, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for handling new partnerships? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be robust, integrated or to be reality-based? We will engineer the capability of e-businesses to unleash. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to empower your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to recontextualize intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. We think we know that it is better to engage efficiently than to exploit virally. Think user-defined. Think end-to-end. Think blog-based, end-to-end, mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Think backward-compatible. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized systems and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We think that most vertical entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough C++. We believe we know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also empower super-ultra-ultra-transparently. We will raise our capability to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough AJAX. We will reinvent the power of action-items to engineer. Have you ever needed to enhance your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. We will streamline the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined". Think short-term. Think bleeding-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without well-chosen biometrics, systems are forced to become C2B2B. What does the jargon-based buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also optimize mega-nano-extensibly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAD". Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing new metrics? We have come to know that it is better to embrace proactively than to syndicate virally. We will scale up our power to aggregate without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Apache and Python. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think B2B2C. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think social-network-based. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "content". We often incentivize frictionless eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! The aptitude to enhance perfectly leads to the capacity to actualize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and J2EE. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We will monetize the aptitude of C2C2B, best-of-breed, B2B compelling, proactive M&A to leverage. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy raw bandwidth and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We often deliver wireless data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think end-to-end. Think long-term. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite easily will (at some point in the future) be able to recontextualize correctly.