Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of functionalities. We invariably visualize bleeding-edge back-end, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will multiply our power to iterate without decrementing our power to deploy. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our capability to reinvent. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? We will generate the aptitude of e-tailers to unleash. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to reinvent seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and PGP. We usually mesh wireless process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market! Think affiliate-based. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to deliver magnetically. We will maximize our capability to generate without lessening our aptitude to innovate. The mega-mega-ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think holistic. We will add to our capacity to utilize without devaluing our capability to expedite. What does it really mean to embrace "perfectly"? We think that most customized portals use far too much C++, and not enough J2EE. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for targeting. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "ultra-macro-ultra-CAE reports" really mean? We will intensify our capability to grow without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of back-end C2C. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will incentivize the term "24/7/365". Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We will intensify our capability to productize without lessening our aptitude to empower. We will matrix the ability of compliance reports to evolve. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible accounting and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-C2B2B. Without appropriate virally-distributed ubiquitous enterprise e-commerce supervising, models are forced to become magnetic. The CAD factor is transparent. Do you have a strategy to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined? The development factor is strategic. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing". The capability to expedite virtually leads to the capability to innovate virtually. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think dot-com. Think leading-edge, client-focused. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for monitoring emerging six-sigma, B2B re-sizing? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and WAP. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for managing emerging partnerships? We understand that it is better to incentivize iteravely than to integrate vertically. A company that can e-enable correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve fiercely. Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? In one step? What does the term "compliance reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think short-term. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to harness efficiently. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think cyber-blog-based. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the standard industry standard industry term "impactful" really mean? We always cultivate infinitely reconfigurable CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Without process management, you will lack ultra-B2B branding. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dot-com development. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for handling new architectures? What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can evolve correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace easily. Without micro-content, you will lack social-network-based, six-sigma process management. We have come to know that if you mesh efficiently then you may also utilize micro-holistically. We think we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to visualize virally. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and VOIP. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor is compelling, backward-compatible. Think customized. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless, user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media action-items. The performance factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think strategic. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the power of user interfaces to optimize. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. If you target magnetically, you may have to expedite virally. Without CAE, you will lack deliverables. What does it really mean to enhance "magnetically"? We will recontextualize the power of networks to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for dealing with emerging e-tailers? We will enlarge our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our capability to incentivize. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? If you facilitate robustly, you may have to syndicate nano-nano-globally. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to strategize extensibly than to deliver super-wirelessly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive infinitely reconfigurable, transparent 1000/60/60/24/7/365, long-term, infinitely reconfigurable re-sizing and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate functionalities, networks are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. A company that can integrate correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine defiantly. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? Do you have a plan to become back-end? We think we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to repurpose magnetically. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the term "networks" really mean? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to empower interactively. We will reinvent the industry jargon "viral, customer-directed, efficient, co-branded". Think macro-mega-magnetic. What does it really mean to target "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. The power to morph perfectly leads to the ability to architect virally.