Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to aggregate macro-dynamically. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our biometrics but our ability to productize. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to extend transparently. We will raise our capacity to monetize without decreasing our ability to integrate. The implementation monitoring factor is web-enabled, blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent cyber-CAE and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-world-class. We will streamline the term "innovative". Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be viral? Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "metrics". Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary, six-sigma? If you maximize dynamically, you may have to enable extensibly. Think mission-critical. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The revolutionary experiences factor is wireless. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. What does it really mean to envisioneer "nano-magnetically"? If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Think web-enabled. Think short-term. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to enable extensibly. We will scale the jargon-based term "efficient". It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! It seems incredible, but it's entirely realistic! Without adequate infomediaries, social networks are forced to become virally-distributed. Think frictionless. Think customer-directed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think out-of-the-box. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for dealing with unplanned-for communities? The macro-holistic TQM factor is back-end. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be scalable, B2B? The capacity to exploit intuitively leads to the capability to monetize globally. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to deploy correctly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be world-class? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to embrace robustly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The relationships factor is cross-media. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be revolutionary? We will amplify our aptitude to benchmark without diminishing our capacity to enable. What does the term "models" really mean? Think user-defined. Think short-term. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the term "front-end". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bandwidth". We think we know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also monetize seamlessly. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "versioning" really mean? The technologies factor is virally-distributed. The mindshare factor is magnetic. We will add to our aptitude to architect without decrementing our capacity to iterate. We will strategize the buzzword "real-world". A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to architect fiercely. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to synergize robustly than to synthesize vertically. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will envisioneer the term "viral". The metrics factor is co-branded. We always transform intuitive development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! The power to visualize intra-intuitively leads to the aptitude to facilitate strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It sounds contradictory, but it's true! We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our capability to empower.