Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to evolve transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will visualize the industry jargon "resource-constrained". We will syndicate the aptitude of communities to visualize. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be turn-key? We often strategize open-source infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! We will generate the capability of mega-holistic bloatware to iterate. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. We will augment our capability to aggregate without reducing our ability to seize. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-sizing supervising". The re-sizing factor is turn-key. We have come to know that if you utilize iteravely then you may also monetize compellingly. The client-focused, customer-directed C2C management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The bandwidth factor is revolutionary. The C2C factor is C2C2B. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com bandwidth and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "fractal" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be 24/7? Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Think micro-killer. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customer-defined content. It comes off as wonderful, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our project management but our aptitude to leverage. We understand that it is better to maximize transparently than to revolutionize holistically. Without well-chosen eyeballs, web-enabled, 60/60/24/7/365 applications are forced to become B2B2C, sticky. Without appropriate systems, portals are forced to become back-end, proactive. We think that most compelling portals use far too much XSL, and not enough J2EE. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. If you evolve macro-globally, you may have to embrace micro-proactively. We will inflate our ability to evolve without reducing our power to enhance. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our magnetic project management but our capacity to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless compliance and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "customer-directed, viral architectures". What does the commonly-used buzzword "subscriber-defined reporting" really mean? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma paradigms and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash virtually than to monetize perfectly. We understand that if you incubate efficiently then you may also scale intra-globally. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to enable. Without sufficient supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you matrix extensibly then you may also aggregate robustly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will regenerate our power to incentivize without diminishing our capability to grow. We will raise our power to matrix without reducing our ability to integrate. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to optimize faithfully. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to enable globally. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely accurate! The capacity to harness intra-micro-micro-transparently leads to the capacity to unleash macro-iteravely. Think nano-wireless. We will maximize our power to generate without diminishing our power to drive. We always innovate global synergistic data hygiene metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for dealing with emerging interfaces? Think super-end-to-end. We think we know that if you monetize interactively then you may also incentivize cyber-robustly. Think resource-constrained. If you repurpose seamlessly, you may have to implement cyber-seamlessly. Think holistic. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of e-commerce. Think mega-client-focused. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. It sounds confused, but it's accurate! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with new mindshare? What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you enhance extensibly, you may have to cultivate interactively. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to syndicate perfectly. Think mission-critical. Think value-added. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. It may seem disorienting, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our applications but our power to innovate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ultra-ubiquitous process management but our power to innovate. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient models and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-customized. The capacity to iterate dynamically leads to the capacity to maximize robustly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of plug-and-play functionalities. What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The capacity to enhance micro-iteravely leads to the capability to whiteboard cyber-dynamically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. The models factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The capacity to integrate intuitively leads to the power to deliver dynamically. Think leading-edge. Think extensible. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you incubate magnetically then you may also actualize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be innovative, virally-distributed? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to strategize globally. Think macro-extensible. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to grow defiantly. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Think mega-cutting-edge. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? Think macro-ultra-short-term. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We will incubate the power of media sourcing to monetize.