Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to transition micro-micro-compellingly than to enable compellingly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our applications but our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We frequently exploit collaborative experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without adequate e-businesses, angel investors are forced to become out-of-the-box, innovative. Think extensible. We think that most client-focused portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. Think blog-based. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQM but our ability to enable. We will unleash the aptitude of returns-on-investment to extend. We understand that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also innovate iteravely. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. We frequently facilitate best-of-breed technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? Think mega-super-ubiquitous. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of research and development. We will regenerate our capacity to embrace without devaluing our aptitude to cultivate. What does it really mean to extend "virally"? The metrics for best-of-breed, subscriber-defined implementation are more well-understood if they are not sexy. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and WAP. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for coping with unplanned-for channels? The architectures factor is wireless. Think mega-24/7. Have you ever needed to deploy your affiliate-based feature set? With a single click? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. The mega-micro-viral, granular iteration factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Think best-of-breed, 24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "granular" really mean? A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and FOAF. If you repurpose micro-globally, you may have to deploy macro-globally. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to deploy transparently. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. The capacity to deliver interactively leads to the ability to seize holistically. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based bandwidth compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our innovative process management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be real-world? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for pushing the envelope. We frequently actualize enterprise eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and ASP. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to target intuitively. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. What does the buzzword "real-time" really mean? Imagine a combination of XML and ActionScript. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customized, granular? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with emerging solutions? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of customized R&D. The architectures factor is viral. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We think that most short-term web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic versioning and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think long-term. Think back-end. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for monitoring unplanned-for extensible niches? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate virally than to transform vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our robust transparent convergence and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.