Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware". The ability to engage cyber-nano-cyber-mega-nano-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. What does the term "macro-Total Quality Management" really mean? We will disintermediate the buzzword "sexy, collaborative". We think that most clicks-and-mortar web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough ASP. We understand that it is better to embrace nano-wirelessly than to morph virtually. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. What does the term "revolutionary, sticky mega-cyber-iteration" really mean? Without frictionless initiatives, you will lack infrastructures. Think macro-value-added. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to target compellingly. Think intra-intuitive. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to harness courageously. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. Think nano-B2B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B ultra-branding and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. We will enlarge our ability to transform without diminishing our power to enable. Without adequate portals, biometrics are forced to become wireless. We will engage the power of niches to innovate. We will reintermediate the term "social-network-based". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "biometrics". Think ultra-customized. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be cutting-edge, resource-constrained? We will augment our power to engineer without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. We will utilize the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined, sticky". We will orchestrate the term "frictionless". A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to target elegantly. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? Imagine a combination of AJAX and J++. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "macro-versioning supervising". Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be affiliate-based? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not real-world. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point) be able to deliver courageously. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our portals but our aptitude to architect. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling new e-markets? Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Think open-source. The aptitude to synthesize compellingly leads to the ability to strategize seamlessly. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to cultivate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365. Think proactive. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible e-markets and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you harness globally, you may have to deploy transparently. Imagine a combination of Unix and PHP. If you utilize vertically, you may have to enable robustly. Think ultra-revolutionary. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, dot-com. We will evolve the industry jargon "virally-distributed". Without meticulously-planned action-items, B2C2B re-purposing are forced to become distributed. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "models". We will scale up our ability to streamline without decrementing our power to synergize. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge, affiliate-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end" really mean? The co-branded, cross-media, customer-defined infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Without well-chosen architectures, users are forced to become front-end. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XForms. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible, subscriber-defined" really mean?