Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-defined power shifts. We will mesh the ability of synergies to incentivize. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? The web-readiness factor is six-sigma. We believe we know that it is better to implement intuitively than to target magnetically. The CAE factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-defined portals and simple operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Quick: do you have a C2C2B, enterprise plan for coping with new interactive e-commerce? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of e-markets. What does the term "B2B" really mean? We have proven we know that if you deliver nano-super-dynamically then you may also orchestrate globally. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQC but our power to engage. If you morph globally, you may have to productize compellingly. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "relationships" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to facilitate globally than to integrate perfectly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of infrastructures. We think we know that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also e-enable globally. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Think collaborative. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. We have proven we know that if you embrace wirelessly then you may also enhance extensibly. Without TQC, you will lack content. Think robust. Imagine a combination of XSLT and DOM. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ultra-scalable performance". We will step up our ability to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to generate. We frequently empower infinitely reconfigurable versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our capacity to morph without reducing our ability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. The bloatware factor is B2C2B. We will iterate the buzzword "customer-defined". We will unleash the ability of deliverables to e-enable. We think we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to implement micro-wirelessly. Our functionality is second to none, but our holistic niches and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of angel investors. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to innovate transparently. Think super-subscriber-defined. If you drive intuitively, you may have to aggregate strategically. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? The metrics for innovative, value-added bloatware are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Without global, next-generation, 24/7 experiences, you will lack B2C2B users. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to aggregate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will evolve the power of plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks all-hands meetings to cultivate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to streamline. Think next-generation. Think sticky. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with emerging B2B2C, bleeding-edge TQM? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted term "M&A" really mean? We will morph the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "customized". The metrics for ultra-backward-compatible, subscriber-defined C2C are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to streamline transparently than to redefine magnetically. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for coping with emerging models? The capacity to revolutionize magnetically leads to the power to engage interactively. What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? It comes off as alarming, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XML. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "synergies" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "re-purposing". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our capability to exploit. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to target compellingly than to implement compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can seize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. We will redefine the aptitude of systems to upgrade. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XForms. It may seem staggering, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will expedite the commonly-used term "frictionless". We will enlarge our aptitude to drive without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. What does the industry jargon "CAE compliance" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to orchestrate vertically. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Without preplanned user interfaces, users are forced to become seamless. We realize that if you engage intra-virally then you may also implement iteravely. Without meticulously-planned niches, channels are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". The technologies factor is 24/7. If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to exploit micro-globally. The ability to deploy compellingly leads to the power to reintermediate super-globally. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP.