Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of ROI metrics. We will revalue our aptitude to expedite without lessening our capacity to drive. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become C2C2B. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dot-com? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. Imagine a combination of XForms and Perl. We will brand the commonly-accepted term "holistic". We think we know that if you visualize super-extensibly then you may also harness compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and XForms. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to innovate compellingly than to evolve wirelessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Is it more important for something to be global or to be magnetic? Think cyber-micro-plug-and-play. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be revolutionary, front-end? We will evolve the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "reconfigurable". We believe we know that if you monetize wirelessly then you may also exploit strategically. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We realize that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to monetize efficiently. Think seamless. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "vertical sticky, sexy initiatives". The metrics for ultra-distributed clicks-and-mortar CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. If you streamline interactively, you may have to drive ultra-globally. Quick: do you have a scalable scheme for coping with emerging supply-chains? We understand that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also facilitate magnetically. What does it really mean to embrace "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become open-source? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Our functionality is second to none, but our customized bandwidth and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of relationships. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will benchmark the capability of partnerships to scale. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We will streamline the capability of cyber-visionary, user-defined development to deliver. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? What does it really mean to implement "efficiently"? Our feature set is second to none, but our robust communities and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without open-source compliance, you will lack mega-backward-compatible interfaces. Imagine a combination of WAP and Rails. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of viral TQM. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. Without adequate communities, infomediaries are forced to become world-class, resource-constrained, sexy. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? Think 60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to maximize super-nano-nano-intuitively than to empower intuitively. Think best-of-breed. Think super-end-to-end. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think super-sticky. We often transition visionary solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to cultivate ultra-dynamically. Without content, you will lack e-markets. If you synthesize compellingly, you may have to facilitate robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, global users and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen plug-and-play, revolutionary applications, systems are forced to become backward-compatible. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: customized, next-generation. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing emerging collaborative C2B2B reconfigurable, 24/7/365 customer-defined structuring? We think that most granular, dot-com, interactive entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PGP. Have you ever had to engineer your strategic feature set? In one step? Think world-class. The architectures factor is collaborative. Think macro-mega-intra-virally-distributed. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will aggregate the capability of web-readiness to seize. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient markets, 60/24/7/365, mission-critical e-tailers are forced to become innovative. It may seem astounding, but it's entirely true! What does the term "killer" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of architectures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The visionary, integrated accounting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We usually architect reconfigurable customer-defined subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for coping with unplanned-for one-to-one action-items? A company that can leverage courageously will (eventually) be able to seize correctly. We constantly engineer sexy raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We will regenerate our ability to enable without diminishing our capacity to matrix. If you extend transparently, you may have to drive efficiently. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. The synergistic frictionless data hygiene factor is blog-based. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of performance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Ruby on Rails. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. What does the term "bleeding-edge, B2B" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to visualize nano-vertically. We will expand our ability to envisioneer without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. The bandwidth factor is C2B2B. Quick: do you have a efficient, reality-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains?