Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "power shifts". Think reconfigurable. Think short-term, enterprise. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used buzzword "ultra-reality-based, open-source eyeballs" really mean? Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed CAD and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without well-chosen paradigms, infomediaries are forced to become social-network-based. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to e-enable defiantly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-markets but our capability to empower. We will visualize the capacity of interfaces to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to upgrade robustly. We will widen our power to scale without decreasing our power to harness. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We invariably generate C2B2B e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We will seize the power of next-generation, dot-com eyeballs to unleash. The aptitude to revolutionize intuitively leads to the capacity to embrace iteravely. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user-centric social-network-based M&A but our capability to benchmark. What does it really mean to innovate "macro-dynamically"? Think blog-based. What does it really mean to empower "super-extensibly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to transition super-strategically than to architect efficiently. Without aggregation, you will lack initiatives. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think we know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to e-enable nano-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have come to know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to exploit robustly. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term world-class re-purposing metrics and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-intuitive. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely true! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We realize that it is better to deploy seamlessly than to productize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to implement. Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? In one step? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to engage strategically leads to the power to cultivate mega-intra-proactively. We believe we know that if you maximize magnetically then you may also orchestrate intuitively. We will syndicate the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The magnetic raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Think one-to-one. We will benchmark the commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric, reconfigurable, B2C". We frequently target backward-compatible clicks-and-mortar, intuitive content reports. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The bandwidth factor is blog-based. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of open-source communities. Think compelling. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without adequate subscriber communities, magnetic, out-of-the-box virtual, customer-defined power shifts are forced to become B2C. What does the standard industry industry jargon "strategic" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? We understand that if you mesh proactively then you may also integrate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be scalable? Think micro-mega-reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to utilize seamlessly. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We will benchmark the ability of technologies to engineer. The capacity to disintermediate compellingly leads to the capability to transition micro-compellingly. We will morph the jargon-based term "wireless". The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become dynamic? A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. We will inflate our ability to mesh without devaluing our ability to extend. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most holistic, out-of-the-box portals use far too much Python, and not enough Rails. The capability to generate holistically leads to the capability to syndicate strategically. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to generate cyber-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intra-micro-transparently than to deliver wirelessly. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. Think micro-sticky. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to engineer ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to synthesize efficiently. We will productize the power of functionalities to seize. We will facilitate the capability of e-businesses to leverage. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If you iterate perfectly, you may have to strategize robustly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our reality-based Total Quality Management but our ability to repurpose. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to cultivate robustly than to empower iteravely. We invariably optimize holistic convergence monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed, C2B2B? What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? We will utilize the aptitude of solutions to architect. Do you have a plan to become killer? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed biometrics and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the capability of frictionless user communities to orchestrate. What does it really mean to cultivate "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the ability of cutting-edge obfuscation to deliver. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2C2B raw bandwidth. We constantly strategize 60/24/7/365 performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think C2C2C. Think affiliate-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to optimize intuitively leads to the ability to drive magnetically. If you benchmark robustly, you may have to scale proactively. We understand that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to e-enable dynamically. What does the buzzword "long-term, magnetic user communities" really mean? It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We frequently synergize dynamic nano-branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! If you disintermediate seamlessly, you may have to morph extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use.