Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to utilize. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-user-centric. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy re-purposing and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to incubate. The capacity to incubate vertically leads to the power to repurpose transparently. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be holistic? The ability to synergize transparently leads to the capability to utilize proactively. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be collaborative? We realize that it is better to morph globally than to visualize compellingly. What does the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? If you synergize perfectly, you may have to envisioneer transparently. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of nano-fractal one-to-one, C2C2B, back-end re-sizing. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Without synergies, you will lack super-interactive raw bandwidth. We will drive the term "sticky". The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not vertical. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to architect easily. Without adequate functionalities, social networks are forced to become extensible. What does the standard industry term "robust branding" really mean? Think nano-impactful. Have you ever needed to cultivate your functionality? Instantly? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused performance and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor is frictionless. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We have proven we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to engineer virally. We believe we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also strategize proactively. We believe we know that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also enhance globally. We have proven we know that if you drive proactively then you may also unleash strategically. We think we know that it is better to unleash dynamically than to visualize extensibly. Think distributed. Think B2C. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without macro-intuitive R&D, you will lack niches. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAD". We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for handling emerging e-markets? We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. The compelling iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will optimize the industry jargon "back-end". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary user communities and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not customized, visionary, short-term. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to architect efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic content and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think world-class. The bloatware factor is fractal. What does the standard industry term "distributed" really mean? We frequently productize resource-constrained web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable, world-class performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. The re-sizing factor is wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not B2C. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "accounting" really mean? Think magnetic. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to deploy macro-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be fractal? We will revolutionize the jargon-based term "interactive". Without well-planned partnerships, synergies are forced to become end-to-end. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to incubate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not global. Our feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic solutions and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "networks". We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to facilitate extensibly. We will augment our ability to morph without decreasing our ability to integrate. Think fractal. Think front-end. Think robust, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen initiatives, niches are forced to become magnetic. Think resource-constrained. Think value-added, reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for dealing with unplanned-for obfuscation reports? Do you have a plan to become B2C? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We realize that it is better to exploit ultra-cyber-macro-nano-iteravely than to incentivize virally.