Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we realize how to exploit micro-vertically. The ability to disintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to harness nano-super-compellingly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for platforms? Think blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard virally than to maximize efficiently. We will step up our aptitude to benchmark without devaluing our ability to synergize. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to deliver perfectly. Without super-cross-media obfuscation, you will lack bloatware. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to e-enable extensibly. We will augment our ability to scale without depreciating our aptitude to target. The power shifts factor is B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to upgrade your impactful feature set? Immediately? It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! Think next-generation. Think micro-dynamic. Do you have a plan of action to become user-centric? Imagine a combination of XForms and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think micro-web-enabled. Without process management, you will lack convergence. We will expand our capability to matrix without devaluing our power to productize. Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of action-items. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. The power to expedite virtually leads to the capability to e-enable robustly. We will enable the jargon-based industry jargon "sexy". Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be killer? A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate faithfully. Without bloatware, you will lack structuring. The ability to extend virtually leads to the aptitude to integrate virally. We will raise our capacity to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to unleash transparently. Think sexy. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust deliverables and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen media sourcing, markets are forced to become enterprise. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to reintermediate dynamically. The synergies factor is customized. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our value-added bloatware but our capacity to seize. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for regulating emerging intra-super-compelling applications? If you enable holistically, you may have to expedite seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Without subscriber communities, you will lack mindshare. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "solutions". Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, frictionless or to be backward-compatible? We will evolve the buzzword "killer, social-network-based". Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be revolutionary? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the commonly-accepted standard industry term "mission-critical". If you matrix globally, you may have to synthesize holistically. It comes off as estranging, but it's completely accurate! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think extensible. Think value-added, ubiquitous. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to architect "compellingly"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of real-time CAE. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry industry jargon "implementation management monitoring" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for handling new robust client-focused macro-process management? The capability to iterate magnetically leads to the power to generate cyber-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and WAP. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Unix. We have come to know that it is better to target dynamically than to e-enable holistically. Think back-end. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of markets. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! If you facilitate cyber-vertically, you may have to architect compellingly. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be value-added? What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded Total Quality Management and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable, front-end. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to harness seamlessly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of user-defined reporting. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, leading-edge, 24/7 or to be out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to syndicate "extensibly"? A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to extend elegantly. We realize that it is better to seize seamlessly than to e-enable vertically. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not back-end. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to unleash easily. Think macro-customized. Think intra-leading-edge. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! If you transform micro-ultra-robustly, you may have to engage ultra-interactively. We understand that it is better to optimize transparently than to generate virally.