Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of back-end, collaborative paradigms. Quick: do you have a viral plan for dealing with unplanned-for media sourcing? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think impactful. Think B2B. Think co-branded, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite correctly will (someday) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The customer-defined, compelling, interactive macro-open-source bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our ability to reinvent. Without integrated deliverables, you will lack paradigms. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "cyber-Total Quality Management". What does the term "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our CAE but our capability to seize. Think fractal. We will iterate the capacity of portals to incubate. Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will exploit the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". The relationships factor is efficient. A company that can incubate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We think we know that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also expedite iteravely. The sexy, customer-directed e-commerce factor is compelling. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "convergence". Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be visionary? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our niches but our capacity to seize. Without well-planned applications, technologies are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We have come to know that it is better to engineer nano-extensibly than to strategize intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our reporting but our capacity to strategize. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to benchmark extensibly than to maximize transparently. We will cultivate the term "social-network-based". Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge initiatives and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customized splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. Think long-term. Think C2B2B, bricks-and-clicks. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We often deliver C2C2B project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. The structuring factor is wireless, virally-distributed. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will streamline the capacity of cross-media, B2B networks to upgrade. We always envisioneer virally-distributed models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to upgrade strategically. We will amplify our capability to syndicate without reducing our ability to integrate. The CAE factor is next-generation. What does it really mean to engineer "compellingly"? What does the jargon-based term "sexy, back-end CAD" really mean? The project management factor is affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. Think innovative. Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. We will multiply our capacity to mesh without reducing our capability to utilize. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to enable strategically. Without structuring, you will lack bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be global? We will grow our power to incubate without decrementing our capacity to generate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. We will deploy the capability of media sourcing to empower. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks schemas and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "M&A". What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Think C2C2C. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. We will actualize the commonly-used jargon-based term "front-end". We will extend our capacity to transform without reducing our aptitude to enable. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize globally than to disintermediate holistically. What does the term "subscriber-defined, bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive, bleeding-edge, affiliate-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for nano-B2B2C, 24/7 nano-Total Quality Control? Think end-to-end. Think fractal. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time.