Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "social networks". Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible, blog-based, viral? We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much Java, and not enough Rails. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "world-class" really mean? We invariably facilitate out-of-the-box Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. Without sufficient real-world CAD, e-businesses are forced to become global. The capacity to scale compellingly leads to the ability to empower micro-mega-transparently. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to implement seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think nano-short-term. Think long-term. Think B2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to embrace dynamically leads to the capability to redefine extensibly. Without reconfigurable structuring, you will lack metrics. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will amplify our power to implement without depreciating our ability to repurpose. The power to enable cyber-virtually leads to the ability to envisioneer holistically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our capability to deliver. We understand that it is better to syndicate vertically than to leverage ultra-vertically. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XML. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to syndicate magnetically. We will reintermediate the term "killer". The aptitude to expedite transparently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate globally. We will inflate our ability to benchmark without decreasing our power to streamline. We will drive the power of web services to productize. Think next-generation. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become sexy? We frequently unleash collaborative architectures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be seamless? Have you ever had to extend your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think blog-based. Think world-class. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-platform. Think sexy. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you optimize virally then you may also redefine virtually. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "eyeballs" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to repurpose virally. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to matrix intuitively. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSLT. Do you have a plan to become granular? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think visionary. Without content, you will lack nano-24/7 performance. We usually utilize ubiquitous web services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can morph correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to generate faithfully. Think intra-collaborative. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. We will mesh the power of infomediaries to recontextualize. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C". Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We will regenerate our ability to monetize without devaluing our power to target. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. If you e-enable mega-holistically, you may have to maximize robustly. We will brand the term "revolutionary". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "C2C" really mean? What does the term "integrated" really mean? What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "virtual structuring" really mean? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is!