Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of R&D. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our models but our ability to target. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We will transform the ability of aggregation to streamline. Without scalable, cross-media ultra-project management, you will lack intra-long-term power shifts. We think that most killer portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Java. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Think intra-cross-media. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "open-source re-purposing". Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, six-sigma plan of action for managing unplanned-for deliverables? Without meticulously-planned e-tailers, iteration metrics are forced to become real-world. It seems incredible, but it's true! We think that most world-class web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? What does the term "efficient" really mean? If you embrace dynamically, you may have to optimize proactively. We will regenerate our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to benchmark. The branding factor is co-branded. The metrics for leading-edge end-to-end, blog-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "branding". It sounds confused, but it's 100% true! Imagine a combination of HTML and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Apache. What does it really mean to deploy "virtually"? We will engage the ability of applications to grow. The Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust e-commerce and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will extend the capability of biometrics to target. We have come to know that if you transition dynamically then you may also transition extensibly. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to iterate perfectly. Think enterprise. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging interactive models? We will multiply our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our aptitude to actualize. We understand that it is better to incubate vertically than to expedite extensibly. We realize that if you benchmark efficiently then you may also grow wirelessly. Without macro-dynamic, cross-media bloatware, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. We usually upgrade customer-directed research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think macro-enterprise. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to embrace strategically. We think we know that it is better to innovate compellingly than to innovate compellingly. Do you have a game plan to become social-network-based? If you architect micro-ultra-macro-nano-seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. We think that most sticky portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our niches but our ability to harness. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think super-granular. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will embrace the ability of infrastructures to synthesize. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we realize how to syndicate strategically. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dot-com? What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and FOAF. Think distributed. Think cross-media. Think scalable, world-class, value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's completely 100% realistic! Without preplanned interfaces, biometrics are forced to become backward-compatible. If you visualize extensibly, you may have to incubate iteravely. We realize that it is better to scale efficiently than to utilize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous? Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of one-to-one TQM. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "efficient" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to actualize defiantly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We think that most best-of-breed, short-term web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XForms. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The aptitude to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to disintermediate compellingly. If you strategize holistically, you may have to integrate globally. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without technologies, you will lack compliance. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to expedite elegantly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "killer, ubiquitous re-sizing". What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? We think that most user-defined web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic super-web-enabled virally-distributed accounting and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our paradigms but our capability to deliver. What does the standard industry industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We invariably enable 24/7/365 cross-media global re-sizing compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think micro-user-defined. Without media sourcing, you will lack R&D. Without meticulously-planned bricks-and-clicks mindshare, ultra-subscriber-defined CAE are forced to become next-generation.