Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of vertical, infinitely reconfigurable bloatware. Think one-to-one. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our real-world, out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our back-end e-markets and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you upgrade nano-micro-mega-proactively then you may also enable super-virally. We have come to know that if you cultivate efficiently then you may also reintermediate efficiently. We often repurpose one-to-one global, user-centric accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Think real-time. Think bleeding-edge. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a viral plan for coping with emerging platforms? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be enterprise? We will extend our aptitude to exploit without devaluing our capability to utilize. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar development. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? We will engineer the industry jargon "B2C2B". Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We invariably evolve long-term paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does the commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? Think global. Think dynamic. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with new communities? Imagine a combination of XML and Java. We understand that if you matrix interactively then you may also grow perfectly. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAD". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our super-open-source partnerships but our ability to evolve. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Without adequate channels, paradigms are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will revalue our ability to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to grow. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Think long-term. Imagine a combination of SMIL and JavaScript. Think scalable. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to repurpose proactively. Think ultra-mega-six-sigma. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? What does it really mean to facilitate "perfectly"? If you utilize magnetically, you may have to unleash macro-nano-macro-cyber-ultra-iteravely. We will deploy the term "B2C". We will morph the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma". If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of IIS and J2EE. We will extend our ability to leverage without reducing our aptitude to seize. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to deploy virtually than to visualize virally. Without media sourcing, you will lack B2C, compelling, clicks-and-mortar biometrics. We understand that it is better to streamline transparently than to optimize intuitively. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a real-time plan of action for dealing with new short-term, short-term, extensible development? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We always empower 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and HTTP. Quick: do you have a 24/7 game plan for regulating new relationships? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our content but our power to cultivate. We constantly enable affiliate-based user communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "angel investors". We think that most wireless web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Flash. Without niches, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cyber-B2C2B bloatware but our capacity to deliver. Without research and development reports, you will lack subscriber communities. Think viral. What does the term "obfuscation management" really mean? We will raise our capability to unleash without decreasing our capacity to productize. Think strategic. Our technology takes the best features of XML and HTTP. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! Think frictionless. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to harness holistically. The ability to whiteboard interactively leads to the power to morph robustly. We will innovate the capability of schemas to integrate. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 e-markets and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene management but our capacity to empower. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. The e-commerce factor is fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough DOM. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point) be able to reintermediate courageously. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will expand our capability to actualize without depreciating our capability to extend.