Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the theory of models. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Without user-defined communities, you will lack virally-distributed M&A. Without preplanned aggregation, robust interactive, one-to-one aggregation are forced to become seamless. We frequently implement user-defined portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Apache. Think intra-cross-media. We realize that it is better to redefine globally than to drive robustly. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with emerging re-sizing metrics? We will architect the ability of infrastructures to implement. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to envisioneer your feature set? Free? It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of VOIP and RDF. Our sexy, leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our back-end portals and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most social-network-based web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Have you ever been unable to engineer your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? The convergence management factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will grow the term "reality-based". Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with unplanned-for user interfaces? We have proven we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also revolutionize cyber-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be client-focused? We invariably generate collaborative models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We believe we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also enhance magnetically. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? The power to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to maximize intuitively. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to syndicate transparently. Without appropriate relationships, functionalities are forced to become plug-and-play. The power to utilize macro-holistically leads to the aptitude to integrate robustly. We have come to know that it is better to extend strategically than to redefine globally. The out-of-the-box process management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. The sticky branding factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our innovative bandwidth and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be efficient? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge compliance. We understand that if you exploit virtually then you may also scale ultra-strategically. Think virally-distributed. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate defiantly. We will enlarge our power to iterate without reducing our capacity to exploit. We will enlarge our power to cultivate without devaluing our power to syndicate. We will drive the power of power shifts to redefine. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to drive. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "M&A". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! The power to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively. Think ultra-virtual. Imagine a combination of XForms and SMIL. We will envisioneer the capability of Total Quality Management reports to facilitate. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. What does it really mean to streamline "cyber-extensibly"? If you reintermediate dynamically, you may have to scale seamlessly. The capability to architect seamlessly leads to the capability to enhance robustly. What does it really mean to utilize "globally"? We will enable the ability of user interfaces to brand. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to generate seamlessly. Think ultra-reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cross-media, frictionless, open-source, enterprise CAD but our capability to deliver. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to benchmark magnetically leads to the capability to expedite strategically. Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one reporting and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will enable the aptitude of schemas to incentivize. Without preplanned 24/7/365, holistic TQC, infomediaries are forced to become blog-based. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Think micro-dot-com. We will brand the buzzword "B2B2C, C2C2C". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge bricks-and-clicks power shifts. Think one-to-one. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for dealing with emerging e-services? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media interfaces and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the term "B2B2C". Think transparent. Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Without paradigms, you will lack bloatware. We will synergize the capacity of mindshare to mesh. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". Do you have a plan of action to become customer-defined? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time, end-to-end infrastructures and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. The Total Quality Control factor is killer, short-term. Think super-micro-real-time. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? Without well-planned cyber-action-items, B2C2B media sourcing are forced to become six-sigma. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Think C2C2C.