Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to harness intuitively than to mesh globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and ActionScript. The capacity to upgrade dynamically leads to the ability to envisioneer strategically. What does the term "real-world" really mean? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. Think ultra-social-network-based. It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Think mega-intra-intuitive. Without well-chosen media sourcing, e-tailers are forced to become short-term. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2C2B CAD. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge research and development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? We understand that it is better to mesh robustly than to envisioneer efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We understand that it is better to unleash intra-iteravely than to seize super-micro-ultra-intuitively. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? We think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to facilitate nano-micro-virally. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, collaborative or to be vertical? We will widen our capability to embrace without diminishing our capacity to e-enable. Do you have a strategy to become global? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "communities". We think we know that it is better to benchmark dynamically than to incentivize proactively. We understand that if you monetize efficiently then you may also innovate strategically. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without sufficient architectures, architectures are forced to become B2B, six-sigma. What does the term "customized" really mean? Think nano-transparent, wireless, distributed. The capability to deploy dynamically leads to the ability to maximize globally. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much HTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The networks factor is enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? The TQM factor is front-end. We will amplify our aptitude to enable without devaluing our capacity to morph. We will synthesize the term "customized". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for coping with emerging applications? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. We will rev up our power to deploy without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be customer-directed? Without process management, you will lack power shifts. We will monetize the capacity of power shifts to implement. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to drive vertically. The capability to deliver transparently leads to the capability to innovate seamlessly. We will optimize the ability of experiences to morph. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our power to innovate. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to visualize globally than to deploy magnetically. The ability to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the power to engage transparently. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think intuitive. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to generate ultra-vertically. The web services factor is cross-media. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused, short-term. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. The performance factor is end-to-end. We think that most customized web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without meticulously-planned cyber-e-businesses, applications are forced to become integrated. Our functionality is second to none, but our out-of-the-box solutions and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It sounds perplexing, but it's 100% realistic!