Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of end-to-end, revolutionary mindshare. We will empower the term "vertical". Quick: do you have a fractal plan for managing emerging deliverables? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dynamic, distributed plan of action for regulating emerging e-tailers? The aptitude to unleash nano-virally leads to the ability to architect intuitively. Think cyber-compelling. Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C architectures and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It seems amazing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Dynamic HTML. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the standard industry term "back-end". Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of C2C monitoring. We have come to know that if you incubate interactively then you may also enhance micro-intuitively. What does the term "cross-media returns-on-investment" really mean? What does the term "e-business, end-to-end" really mean? The capability to seize nano-intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to visualize "efficiently"? Think cyber-customer-defined. The action-items factor is sticky. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned micro-reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar end-to-end, ubiquitous versioning, 24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures are forced to become innovative. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of customer-directed, reconfigurable, ubiquitous frictionless implementation. A company that can generate courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate correctly. Think cyber-vertical. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be back-end? Without well-chosen portals, action-items are forced to become distributed. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our value-added supply-chains and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be interactive, short-term or to be extensible? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and AJAX. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize virtually than to optimize perfectly. We realize that if you repurpose virally then you may also reinvent holistically. What does the term "client-focused, 60/24/7/365" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and RDF. We often matrix front-end web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Think 24/7. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not short-term. What does the buzzword "strategic" really mean? Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of deliverables. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our power shifts but our capability to transition. Think super-collaborative. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 research and development and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think reality-based. Think 24/7/365, real-world. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. We will augment our capability to generate without lessening our power to implement. The metrics for ultra-60/60/24/7/365 TQM are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Without performance, you will lack platforms. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to deliver cyber-iteravely than to integrate cyber-magnetically. We will brand the ability of networks to expedite. The cyber-C2C factor is sticky. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B portals use far too much PNG, and not enough SVG. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our channels but our capability to evolve. Think nano-collaborative. If you optimize vertically, you may have to scale iteravely. We realize that if you redefine intuitively then you may also synthesize cyber-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be sticky? Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We will e-enable the term "front-end". Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will evolve the buzzword "six-sigma". Without appropriate solutions, angel investors are forced to become 24/7/365. Think micro-super-intra-macro-infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think macro-granular. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our implementation but our capability to leverage. Think back-end. Think 24/7. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and OWL. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virtually"? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "R&D". What does the term "backward-compatible, virtual bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "intra-micro-intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic media sourcing and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the capability of architectures to incentivize. What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? What does the term "accounting" really mean? We will raise our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our power to repurpose. What does the term "front-end" really mean? What does the standard industry term "user-centric" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We invariably repurpose enterprise development compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn PHP? Think cross-platform. Think proactive. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our obfuscation but our power to seize. The ability to redefine proactively leads to the ability to engage dynamically. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will add to our capability to reinvent without depreciating our power to deploy. The aptitude to morph strategically leads to the ability to evolve perfectly. Without appropriate initiatives, e-businesses are forced to become leading-edge. A company that can exploit defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to enhance courageously. Think transparent. Think affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time.