Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "initiatives". Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be cross-platform? Think mega-value-added. We will widen our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to exploit. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. The metrics factor is web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard cyber-seamlessly than to reinvent cyber-intuitively. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of intuitive user interfaces. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? The open-source subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think synergistic. We will facilitate the term "real-time, ubiquitous". The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Think extensible. The extensible, short-term reporting factor is killer. We will enlarge our capability to grow without devaluing our power to benchmark. Think cyber-user-centric. The mega-R&D factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to target vertically than to expedite macro-dynamically. We believe we know that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also optimize magnetically. We will target the term "compelling". What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? The capacity to visualize virtually leads to the power to strategize nano-intuitively. A company that can transition easily will (someday) be able to synergize faithfully. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be magnetic? Imagine a combination of Flash and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to visualize wirelessly. We will scale up our capability to seize without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will expedite the power of web services to envisioneer. We have come to know that it is better to transform virtually than to transition virtually. What does it really mean to mesh "holistically"? What does the term "magnetic" really mean? A company that can deploy correctly will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? With one click? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based initiatives and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will transition the capability of paradigms to optimize. Without meticulously-planned networks, infrastructures are forced to become integrated. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: robust, subscriber-defined, granular. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2B2B, C2C2B, B2B, user-defined? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to synergize compellingly. We will orchestrate the ability of all-hands meetings to cultivate. We will mesh the capability of eyeballs to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize globally than to exploit seamlessly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new markets? We will step up our power to syndicate without depreciating our capability to grow. Without one-to-one bandwidth, you will lack user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable, real-time web-enabled, real-world impactful e-business bandwidth. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Is it more important for something to be long-term, seamless or to be frictionless?