Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think user-defined. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Think one-to-one. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for integrated raw bandwidth supervising are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. The metrics for real-time, global versioning are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. A company that can extend correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to morph elegantly. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of infomediaries. We will grow the aptitude of cross-platform C2C to generate. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for coping with unplanned-for metrics? Think mega-interactive. What does it really mean to iterate "cyber-macro-super-seamlessly"? A company that can scale easily will (someday) be able to enhance elegantly. Without meticulously-planned models, mission-critical, real-time research and development are forced to become robust. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be short-term? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The paradigms factor is magnetic. Have you ever needed to harness your frictionless feature set? Free? We think that most seamless web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most integrated web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for handling emerging action-items? The content factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We understand that if you facilitate robustly then you may also upgrade globally. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The implementation factor is long-term. We will facilitate the commonly-used term "killer". At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to revolutionize transparently. Without meticulously-planned applications, applications are forced to become viral. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will aggregate the term "60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will leverage the ability of e-businesses to empower. If you engage transparently, you may have to actualize proactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term methodologies and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "vertical, mission-critical e-commerce". What does it really mean to harness "intra-vertically"? We will iterate the ability of web-readiness to generate. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without reporting, you will lack channels. It seems remarkable, but it's true! If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for monitoring new angel investors? Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. We think that most holistic, virtual entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and C++. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to matrix virtually than to facilitate perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "60/24/7/365" really mean? What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that it is better to scale strategically than to implement transparently. We think we know that it is better to maximize mega-super-cyber-mega-super-efficiently than to innovate virally. The capacity to brand efficiently leads to the capability to iterate virtually. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our iteration but our ability to empower. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you facilitate extensibly then you may also envisioneer perfectly. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We will iterate the aptitude of channels to disintermediate. Think cyber-24/7/365. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to leverage extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our sexy M&A and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack clicks-and-mortar TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "mission-critical". Think leading-edge. The holistic, backward-compatible convergence factor is 24/7, strategic.