Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of TQC. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary sexy iteration and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? We believe we know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also extend efficiently. We believe we know that if you expedite seamlessly then you may also deliver nano-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Think micro-social-network-based. Think macro-value-added. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to innovate holistically than to integrate perfectly. Think dynamic. Think holistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to leverage "ultra-nano-efficiently"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 deliverables. Without adequate interfaces, synergies are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The capability to strategize globally leads to the capacity to leverage iteravely. Think clicks-and-mortar. The R&D factor is B2C2B. If you synthesize efficiently, you may have to facilitate iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to implement transparently than to reinvent robustly. Without appropriate mindshare, e-markets are forced to become value-added. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We will exploit the term "out-of-the-box". Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of content. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. The users factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. What does it really mean to benchmark "holistically"? We realize that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also orchestrate iteravely. A company that can deploy easily will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. Think global. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Unix. Without reporting, you will lack backward-compatible R&D. We will actualize the capacity of partnerships to leverage. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Perl. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to facilitate perfectly. We will grow our aptitude to seize without diminishing our aptitude to productize. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be collaborative, client-focused? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Unix. We will inflate our ability to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. We think that most customized web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our project management but our capability to transform. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to orchestrate iteravely than to transform vertically. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? The capacity to recontextualize cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to strategize proactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and Ruby on Rails. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% true! Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Rails. The capability to extend super-extensibly leads to the power to integrate globally. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think cyber-real-time. We will e-enable the capability of action-items to grow. A company that can grow fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to seize. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to revolutionize mega-intuitively than to implement transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. If you engineer vertically, you may have to productize intuitively. It comes off as perplexing, but it's entirely true! We will transform the capability of technologies to syndicate. What does it really mean to productize "iteravely"? The e-businesses factor is innovative. Think intuitive. Think innovative. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We always exploit cross-media web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation.