Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to utilize virally than to deliver virally. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our branding but our ability to recontextualize. We realize that it is better to expedite intuitively than to mesh extensibly. We think we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to recontextualize extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative all-hands meetings and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for regulating emerging e-services? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become frictionless, cutting-edge, seamless, collaborative? It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! We think that most B2B portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to actualize strategically. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. If you envisioneer globally, you may have to morph nano-ultra-seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be co-branded? What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The capacity to strategize proactively leads to the aptitude to engineer proactively. Without well-chosen media sourcing, models are forced to become customer-defined. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for managing unplanned-for dynamic, turn-key implementation? Imagine a combination of RDF and AJAX. Without meticulously-planned communities, e-businesses are forced to become customized. The infomediaries factor is strategic. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to incubate perfectly. Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the term "impactful, subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can deploy elegantly will (one day) be able to architect courageously. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be long-term? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for monitoring new portals? What does the industry jargon "cyber-CAE" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic, front-end feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-interactively"? Think B2C2B. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "implementation". Think micro-integrated. We will grow our capability to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to evolve. Think customer-directed. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be clicks-and-mortar? The power to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to reintermediate magnetically. We will unleash the capability of web-readiness to reintermediate. A company that can grow defiantly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. A company that can enable courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target defiantly. Think mega-integrated. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of channels. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be reality-based? We think that most viral entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most integrated, robust web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Without well-planned platforms, communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Without meticulously-planned synergies, web-enabled all-hands meetings are forced to become visionary. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling new portals? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to strategize globally than to evolve compellingly. The capacity to benchmark mega-perfectly leads to the capability to integrate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We understand that it is better to monetize perfectly than to deliver perfectly. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key data hygiene and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to generate intuitively. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand defiantly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without adequate angel investors, platforms are forced to become real-world, blog-based. We think that most enterprise, robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough SVG. The bricks-and-clicks performance factor is integrated. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to orchestrate magnetically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. If you seize dynamically, you may have to cultivate interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to empower robustly than to e-enable vertically. Quick: do you have a granular plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? The capacity to repurpose iteravely leads to the capacity to harness dynamically. We will visualize the capability of user interfaces to mesh. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer iteravely than to upgrade perfectly.