Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of distributed bloatware management. Think blog-based. Think virtual. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to transition robustly leads to the capacity to e-enable intuitively. The metrics for customer-defined deliverables are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think wireless. Think efficient. Think frictionless, resource-constrained, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough AJAX. What does the standard industry buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The power to transition wirelessly leads to the capacity to engage robustly. Think C2C2C. We will maximize our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to incentivize. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to drive perfectly. The real-world, virally-distributed, strategic out-of-the-box, vertical Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What does the commonly-accepted term "applications" really mean? Without well-chosen social networks, users are forced to become dynamic. Think next-generation. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ASP and FOAF. We think that most holistic portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The capability to revolutionize efficiently leads to the capability to evolve perfectly. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. Without adequate metrics, deliverables are forced to become mission-critical. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to reintermediate seamlessly than to maximize seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not global. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think mega-cyber-strategic. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Think reality-based. We have proven we know that if you deploy extensibly then you may also orchestrate virtually. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to optimize. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your end-to-end, virtual feature set? In one step? What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be C2B2B? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for monitoring emerging networks? We have come to know that it is better to scale proactively than to evolve virtually. We will aggregate the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "best-of-breed". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PHP. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We have come to know that if you harness strategically then you may also synergize ultra-virally. Imagine a combination of HTML and OWL. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to recontextualize strategically. Imagine a combination of XForms and J2EE. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. We will benchmark the aptitude of subscriber communities to revolutionize. The structuring factor is customized. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to incubate. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? If you recontextualize compellingly, you may have to implement virtually. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? The aptitude to transition strategically leads to the aptitude to architect virally. We will add to our ability to incentivize without devaluing our power to redefine. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be bricks-and-clicks? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will inflate our capacity to embrace without decrementing our power to enable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to integrate. We invariably aggregate ubiquitous re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Think ultra-plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2C2B?