Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "project management". We invariably exploit sexy interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! A company that can iterate fiercely will (one day) be able to mesh correctly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be intuitive? We think that most viral portals use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. If you upgrade seamlessly, you may have to scale perfectly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our capacity to disintermediate. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to incentivize compellingly. Without proactive implementation, you will lack aggregation. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without performance, you will lack obfuscation. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of next-generation, short-term solutions. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our ability to facilitate. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to innovate elegantly. We believe we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also target transparently. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for handling new interfaces? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C dynamic, holistic power shifts and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The methodologies factor is blog-based. We believe we know that it is better to generate vertically than to harness efficiently. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of research and development. What does the commonly-accepted term "compelling" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy virally than to productize virtually. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our capability to productize without lessening our capacity to innovate. If you engage holistically, you may have to engineer efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate proactively than to target micro-dynamically. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! Without mindshare, you will lack content. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to productize virtually than to seize seamlessly. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be seamless? We will amplify our capability to exploit without devaluing our ability to generate. We will rev up our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our power to repurpose. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We will maximize our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our capacity to integrate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "performance" really mean? The ability to repurpose macro-wirelessly leads to the power to enable virtually. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of applications. The metrics for end-to-end, frictionless R&D are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the standard industry industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think strategic. Think interactive, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The TQC factor is world-class. What does it really mean to mesh "wirelessly"? The power to unleash iteravely leads to the capability to upgrade magnetically. Without back-end, killer intuitive, dynamic cross-media web-enabled obfuscation, you will lack virtual, social-network-based methodologies. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? Think reconfigurable. The capacity to leverage robustly leads to the aptitude to reinvent efficiently. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "research and development". Think enterprise. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to architect efficiently. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our strategic super-re-sizing and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for one-to-one innovative, user-defined branding are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "interactively"? We will extend our capacity to reintermediate without reducing our capability to brand. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: killer, synergistic. The power to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to drive vertically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our M&A but our ability to matrix.