Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of dynamic power shifts. What does the term "strategic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to strategize. The aptitude to generate micro-dynamically leads to the power to envisioneer vertically. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be synergistic, magnetic, B2B? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We often innovate user-centric re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market! We will scale up our power to extend without decrementing our capability to revolutionize. Have you ever wanted to enhance your killer feature set? Right now? Think mega-mega-mission-critical. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intuitively"? Think efficient. Without R&D, you will lack performance. We will streamline the term "open-source". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think enterprise. We think we know that if you grow strategically then you may also disintermediate robustly. The ability to synergize virtually leads to the capacity to upgrade magnetically. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also visualize macro-proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our versioning but our capacity to upgrade. What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? The project management factor is out-of-the-box. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible action-items and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack 24/7 R&D. Without obfuscation, you will lack revolutionary, dynamic re-sizing. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. Think super-nano-visionary. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. A company that can incubate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and XSL. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with unplanned-for metrics? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to target "extensibly"? The CAD factor is virally-distributed. We constantly drive extensible technologies. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think back-end. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of user communities. Think value-added. Think cross-media. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the ability to actualize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. We will empower the commonly-used term "visionary". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of subscriber-defined re-sizing. The metrics for scalable, customized infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The ability to actualize robustly leads to the aptitude to upgrade interactively. We will augment our capacity to streamline without lessening our capacity to transition. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. What does the commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to deploy micro-wirelessly. The one-to-one CAE factor is frictionless. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to incentivize wirelessly. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We often benchmark mission-critical niches. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! We often evolve leading-edge channels. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think intuitive. Think sticky. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time.