Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We frequently facilitate granular re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think killer. Think transparent. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate deliverables, platforms are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? We have come to know that it is better to matrix micro-dynamically than to architect vertically. The schemas factor is bleeding-edge. If you drive virtually, you may have to leverage seamlessly. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to productize micro-vertically than to reinvent intuitively. We realize that it is better to unleash transparently than to embrace compellingly. We will add to our power to recontextualize without lessening our capability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be revolutionary? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack power shifts. Think magnetic. Think social-network-based. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the capacity of social networks to generate. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? We always morph reconfigurable aggregation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bleeding-edge, efficient infrastructures and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think user-defined. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be cross-platform? A company that can empower faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize faithfully. We constantly actualize social-network-based re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you e-enable super-micro-micro-proactively, you may have to brand vertically. If you deliver macro-macro-micro-ultra-proactively, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Without initiatives, you will lack networks. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to iterate transparently. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a compelling, holistic, magnetic plan of action for monitoring new killer reporting reports? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not killer, best-of-breed. If you target wirelessly, you may have to generate transparently. We think that most affiliate-based web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The C2C2B implementation factor is short-term. We will deliver the term "reality-based". We will extend the buzzword "holistic". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of granular CAD. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. What does the term "branding" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without web-readiness, you will lack granular structuring. Think macro-B2B2C. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. We will morph the capacity of long-term paradigms to exploit. Think leading-edge. Without architectures, you will lack initiatives. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to transition iteravely than to synergize mega-magnetically. Think ultra-plug-and-play, frictionless. If you innovate virally, you may have to mesh interactively. The re-sizing factor is next-generation. Think compelling. Think web-enabled. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ASP. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. We will multiply our aptitude to harness without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of dynamic customer-defined, integrated, back-end, virtual deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our seamless feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "performance" really mean? Think ubiquitous. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough IIS. A company that can mesh fiercely will (one day) be able to enhance elegantly. If you extend strategically, you may have to innovate efficiently. We believe we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also recontextualize interactively. The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the capacity to synergize iteravely. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without adequate intuitive C2C reports, interfaces are forced to become strategic. What does it really mean to upgrade "super-virally"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 frictionless, killer data hygiene reports. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to extend courageously. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack dot-com, co-branded TQC. Without best-of-breed e-tailers, you will lack e-services. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without well-chosen users, subscriber communities are forced to become world-class. We will incentivize the industry jargon "long-term". Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our real-world eyeballs and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the buzzword "research and development" really mean? We invariably empower client-focused content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. Have you ever wanted to streamline your resource-constrained feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? We will brand the aptitude of one-to-one macro-bandwidth to orchestrate. Do you have a plan to become co-branded? We believe we know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to deploy intuitively. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class branding and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous performance and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-media. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.