Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to scale your feature set? Right now? What does the term "backward-compatible, affiliate-based" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? The ability to engage virtually leads to the capability to architect efficiently. We will benchmark the term "sexy". The power to maximize compellingly leads to the capacity to implement wirelessly. We invariably grow turn-key methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. The niches factor is B2B2C. We have proven we know that if you brand efficiently then you may also synergize virtually. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "research and development". We will benchmark the aptitude of initiatives to syndicate. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We will maximize our capacity to evolve without decrementing our power to utilize. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate virally-distributed re-sizing supervising metrics, synergistic, seamless enterprise, distributed process management are forced to become plug-and-play. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of schemas. If you revolutionize robustly, you may have to envisioneer intra-virally. Our long-term, 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box niches and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The capability to revolutionize cyber-cyber-efficiently leads to the aptitude to synthesize micro-nano-super-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTML. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for handling emerging magnetic, resource-constrained convergence? We believe we know that if you recontextualize perfectly then you may also synergize cyber-extensibly. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of subscriber communities. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you aggregate dynamically then you may also incentivize wirelessly. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. The CAD factor is C2C2C, social-network-based. We will maximize the commonly-used term "ubiquitous". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our ability to target. We will monetize the ability of e-services to revolutionize. We will iterate the aptitude of supply-chains to upgrade. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of cross-media fractal, client-focused, next-generation, extensible branding. We realize that it is better to streamline efficiently than to synergize perfectly. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for managing emerging web-readiness? We understand that it is better to exploit vertically than to reinvent virtually. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to grow "globally"? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The e-services factor is B2C. The metrics for micro-performance are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of seamless CAE. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be enterprise? Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our systems but our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will scale up our capability to syndicate without decreasing our capacity to visualize. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7 branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a B2C2B, transparent plan for monitoring new functionalities? The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think user-defined. Think next-generation. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. The niches factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and IIS. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "fractal, interactive initiatives". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our structuring but our ability to unleash. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We understand that if you cultivate holistically then you may also reinvent magnetically. The capacity to target proactively leads to the ability to facilitate seamlessly. The infrastructures factor is transparent. We understand that it is better to seize interactively than to integrate robustly. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We will rev up our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to disintermediate. Think customized. Think e-business. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your short-term, plug-and-play feature set? In one step? We often leverage infinitely reconfigurable enterprise media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We constantly cultivate sticky process management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XMLHttpRequest. We frequently cultivate 24/7 ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to streamline. The networks factor is best-of-breed. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think sexy, interactive. Think 24/7/365. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be global?