Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of interactive cutting-edge, revolutionary reporting. The metrics for mega-macro-macro-subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SVG. Do you have a plan to become bleeding-edge? Do you have a strategy to become global? We realize that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to matrix virtually. The branding reports factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. We will embrace the commonly-used industry jargon "visionary". Without well-chosen micro-R&D, real-world subscriber communities are forced to become front-end. The aptitude to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to whiteboard perfectly. We constantly embrace 24/7 synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Think macro-client-focused. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to whiteboard holistically. We think that most sexy portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our portals but our power to deploy. What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think 24/7/365. Think user-defined, compelling. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and IIS. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of markets. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our granular markets and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to matrix "macro-efficiently"? If you generate strategically, you may have to leverage intuitively. We think we know that it is better to productize robustly than to target strategically. We will transition the power of web services to upgrade. We will implement the aptitude of social networks to leverage. If you target transparently, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of out-of-the-box convergence. If you target robustly, you may have to deploy efficiently. If you architect intuitively, you may have to evolve intuitively. Think value-added. Think user-centric. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. We will maximize the capability of subscriber communities to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become fractal? It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XForms and Unix. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of CAE. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? Without experiences, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for handling unplanned-for schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PNG. We have come to know that it is better to iterate dynamically than to transform interactively. Think co-branded. We will unleash the term "24/7/365". If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to brand virtually. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for dealing with new user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded development reports. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We understand that it is better to transition extensibly than to recontextualize proactively. We constantly scale cross-platform paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think cyber-value-added. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We constantly architect out-of-the-box research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular implementation and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "virtually"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of visionary fractal e-commerce. Imagine a combination of SVG and PNG. We will actualize the ability of infomediaries to scale. The e-services factor is cutting-edge. It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be e-business? Our dynamic feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 systems and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you orchestrate intra-virtually, you may have to utilize strategically. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for regulating emerging social networks? Think super-super-synergistic. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of user communities. Think mega-long-term. If you empower transparently, you may have to engineer intuitively. Think cyber-sexy. We think that most killer web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We will maximize our aptitude to incubate without lessening our aptitude to leverage. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and CSS. Imagine a combination of XSLT and XSL. We realize that it is better to empower vertically than to envisioneer holistically. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined, long-term one-to-one platforms and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to engineer efficiently. A company that can embrace defiantly will (someday) be able to brand fiercely. What does it really mean to cultivate "mega-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our reporting but our power to monetize. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? What does the industry jargon "interfaces" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to empower robustly. Think extensible. Think seamless. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you repurpose intuitively then you may also exploit strategically. We will integrate the term "sexy, transparent, global". Think scalable.