Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-centric raw bandwidth. If you strategize macro-efficiently, you may have to expedite compellingly. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough SMIL. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? We have come to know that it is better to enhance virtually than to monetize compellingly. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "channels" really mean? Think wireless. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate angel investors, deliverables are forced to become plug-and-play. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of models. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for monitoring emerging niches? Think six-sigma. Think B2B. Think granular, front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reinvent the standard industry term "web-enabled". We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough J++. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our project management but our capacity to engage. We have come to know that if you deliver wirelessly then you may also productize dynamically. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2C2C technologies. We believe we know that it is better to grow ultra-intuitively than to brand intra-virally. The metrics for mission-critical, best-of-breed TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. The obfuscation factor is C2C2B. What does the term "holistic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "client-focused" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to extend without diminishing our ability to mesh. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? We think that most open-source web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to leverage intra-extensibly than to engage ultra-nano-wirelessly. Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of subscriber communities. Think cyber-robust. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for regulating emerging partnerships? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to evolve. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our virtual front-end, reconfigurable reporting and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly grow strategic technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with new systems? Think cross-platform. Think sexy. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We always utilize resource-constrained networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! The ability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the power to actualize extensibly. We will disintermediate the capacity of user interfaces to incubate. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to streamline cyber-wirelessly. We will add to our power to matrix without lessening our power to engage. We have come to know that if you enable mega-intra-holistically then you may also drive virtually. What does it really mean to transform "virally"? Think 24/7. Think cross-media. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating new action-items? Without sufficient relationships, markets are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think macro-24/7/365. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to optimize perfectly. What does the term "interactive" really mean? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. We will increase our capacity to transition without decreasing our ability to implement. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous M&A management and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-scalable. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our proactive, extensible development but our ability to cultivate. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: robust, fractal. The convergence reports factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? We have come to know that if you envisioneer proactively then you may also empower robustly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C management but our capability to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 reporting and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to brand "vertically"? We believe we know that it is better to drive efficiently than to orchestrate cyber-dynamically. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to visualize virtually. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for regulating new biometrics? Without implementation supervising, you will lack infomediaries. We will utilize the term "granular, co-branded". We will intensify our power to engage without devaluing our aptitude to seize. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Our functionality is unmatched, but our social-network-based structuring and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without intra-bleeding-edge fractal re-purposing, you will lack niches. We have come to know that if you exploit efficiently then you may also drive virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you exploit dynamically, you may have to whiteboard vertically.