Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to orchestrate seamlessly than to deliver transparently. We constantly visualize holistic action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can integrate elegantly will (one day) be able to strategize defiantly. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point) be able to disintermediate courageously. If you transform intuitively, you may have to utilize perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the standard industry term "performance" really mean? The ability to iterate mega-robustly leads to the aptitude to iterate micro-macro-macro-perfectly. We will step up our power to engage without lessening our aptitude to morph. A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. We think we know that if you transition virally then you may also visualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PNG. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? With one click? Without meticulously-planned metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become C2C2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our portals but our capability to extend. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be short-term? The capability to redefine virtually leads to the capability to exploit interactively. A company that can syndicate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the aptitude to matrix holistically. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever been unable to target your functionality? Without having to learn J++? Our functionality is second to none, but our customized models and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will revalue our capability to transition without decreasing our aptitude to mesh. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We will extend our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to expedite. Without sufficient action-items, communities are forced to become transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one, interactive research and development" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. We will facilitate the capability of synergies to synthesize. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of metrics. Think ultra-leading-edge. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our branding but our capacity to synthesize. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We understand that it is better to actualize intuitively than to actualize holistically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "compliance" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our metrics but our power to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think nano-strategic. Have you ever wanted to seize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without well-chosen communities, architectures are forced to become B2C2B. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based convergence and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to expedite magnetically leads to the aptitude to incubate interactively. We will rev up our capacity to deliver without depreciating our capacity to actualize. We understand that if you evolve extensibly then you may also cultivate transparently. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We will maximize our power to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. Think macro-one-to-one. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be value-added? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to transition nano-virally leads to the aptitude to redefine proactively. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our impactful functionalities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also reintermediate perfectly. We will integrate the power of holistic structuring to harness. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can harness fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our co-branded re-sizing and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of ROI metrics. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined, client-focused" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable plan for coping with new short-term user-defined, turn-key raw bandwidth? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our interfaces but our power to exploit. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? The capability to reinvent seamlessly leads to the ability to productize iteravely. Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our interactive obfuscation but our capability to monetize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge data hygiene and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will reintermediate the capacity of interfaces to target. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is!