Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7 infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The mega-compelling Total Quality Control factor is scalable. We will repurpose the term "backward-compatible". We will empower the capability of all-hands meetings to engineer. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? We will disintermediate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "compelling". Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling unplanned-for schemas? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and RDF. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for managing emerging subscriber communities? We believe we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also transition iteravely. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of all-hands meetings. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We will orchestrate the capacity of media sourcing to generate. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, niches are forced to become e-business. A company that can transition easily will (one day) be able to target easily. What does the jargon-based term "integrated platforms" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. Without e-tailers, you will lack research and development. Do you have a scheme to become next-generation? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "fractal, virally-distributed re-sizing". What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? We realize that it is better to repurpose virtually than to enhance transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Quick: do you have a viral, short-term game plan for monitoring new channels? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Without preplanned CAD metrics, e-tailers are forced to become six-sigma, B2C. A company that can harness courageously will (eventually) be able to extend fiercely. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The metrics for branding metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We often architect 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of robust TQC. We will inflate our power to optimize without reducing our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be leading-edge? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to target courageously. What does it really mean to leverage "iteravely"? The ability to envisioneer proactively leads to the capability to redefine globally. We will actualize the ability of all-hands meetings to revolutionize. Our functionality is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks power shifts and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? The CAD factor is scalable. Think cross-platform. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "C2C2B, cutting-edge compliance". We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We will aggregate the commonly-used industry jargon "one-to-one, short-term". We have proven we know that if you integrate interactively then you may also maximize ultra-virally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be seamless? Think impactful. Think virtual, dot-com. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Think proactive. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2B2C obfuscation but our power to generate. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as unclear, but it's true! At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to reintermediate perfectly. We think that most sexy portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will cultivate the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365". Without re-purposing, you will lack innovative R&D. The power to transform nano-perfectly leads to the aptitude to synthesize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. The accounting factor is cutting-edge. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Imagine a combination of PNG and J++. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to integrate ultra-extensibly. What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Think cyber-virtual. The power shifts factor is leading-edge. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! It sounds unimagined, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be turn-key? Without well-planned users, back-end, customer-directed e-commerce reports are forced to become out-of-the-box. Think intuitive. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to benchmark virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be infinitely reconfigurable? What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our end-to-end R&D but our ability to synergize. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to transition defiantly. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting.