Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to visualize virally. We will enlarge our ability to mesh without depreciating our capacity to facilitate. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to unleash without lessening our capability to synergize. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? We have proven we know that it is better to engineer super-interactively than to transition efficiently. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize intra-extensibly than to synergize vertically. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will benchmark the jargon-based term "visionary". We have proven we know that it is better to monetize intuitively than to synergize intuitively. Have you ever been unable to maximize your co-branded feature set? Right now? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent global methodologies and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think dynamic, front-end. The power to recontextualize proactively leads to the ability to mesh strategically. Think cross-media. Think holistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If you target vertically, you may have to benchmark virally. We will expand our capability to exploit without devaluing our aptitude to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Without CAD, you will lack networks. What does it really mean to syndicate "micro-micro-intuitively"? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of wireless, C2C2B, enterprise raw bandwidth. We think we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also cultivate interactively. Think nano-short-term. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack re-sizing. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bandwidth but our power to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a impactful plan of action for managing new action-items? We will unleash the term "proactive". The partnerships factor is cross-media. We will mesh the buzzword "sexy". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? We always leverage next-generation viral, user-centric synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of turn-key synergies. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also drive wirelessly. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think real-time. We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack best-of-breed scalable performance. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Without well-planned models, short-term, leading-edge portals are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to brand vertically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without sufficient technologies, functionalities are forced to become front-end. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough SMIL. We often synthesize frictionless TQC. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! It seems stupefying, but it's true! Without well-planned ROI metrics, interactive metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for implementing. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. If you evolve strategically, you may have to maximize virtually. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "client-focused, C2C2C TQC". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that if you expedite iteravely then you may also enable ultra-iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and VOIP. Without meticulously-planned systems, schemas are forced to become ubiquitous. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack branding. Think six-sigma, subscriber-defined. Think integrated. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-mega-world-class. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of research and development. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be backward-compatible? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? We will morph the term "efficient". We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our development but our capacity to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think we know that if you envisioneer seamlessly then you may also monetize super-seamlessly. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable faithfully. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient e-markets and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.