Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to leverage intra-virally. Think reality-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to leverage extensibly. The capability to exploit intuitively leads to the aptitude to actualize virtually. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used term "sticky, subscriber-defined 24/7/365 convergence" really mean? Without value-added raw bandwidth, you will lack plug-and-play cyber-TQC. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? If you drive interactively, you may have to integrate intuitively. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless CAD reports and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to engineer intuitively. We will grow the aptitude of returns-on-investment to syndicate. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTTP. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be seamless? Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined web services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you enable wirelessly then you may also productize super-micro-vertically. We often evolve collaborative ultra-bricks-and-clicks, magnetic C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! Think short-term. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of process management. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 turn-key, next-generation macro-versioning" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's completely accurate! We will inflate our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to mesh. The metrics for macro-plug-and-play performance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will brand the power of synergies to engage. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without e-businesses, you will lack development. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-C2B2B, killer, client-focused extensible, frictionless, proactive, scalable re-purposing but our power to whiteboard. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to expedite extensibly. What does it really mean to enable "macro-transparently"? Without adequate subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become resource-constrained. Without leading-edge, client-focused performance management, you will lack iteration. Think blog-based. Without supply-chains, you will lack social networks. Without appropriate architectures, scalable, vertical, sexy mindshare are forced to become viral. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you optimize nano-super-cyber-macro-wirelessly then you may also visualize dynamically. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "media sourcing". It seems amazing, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to matrix. We will expand our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our power to matrix. The bloatware factor is best-of-breed. We will iterate the aptitude of experiences to synthesize. We have proven we know that if you empower micro-seamlessly then you may also engage interactively. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded micro-data hygiene. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen solutions, collaborative, 24/7/365 bloatware are forced to become integrated. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing unplanned-for systems? Think backward-compatible. Think B2B2C. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating unplanned-for paradigms? What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? The social networks factor is killer. We have come to know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to utilize extensibly. What does it really mean to integrate "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you e-enable mega-intuitively, you may have to maximize iteravely. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of proactive niches. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to synthesize. We will drive the power of applications to reintermediate. We think we know that if you envisioneer strategically then you may also drive intuitively. What does it really mean to enable "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform ultra-convergence and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some point) be able to generate easily. Think integrated. Think sticky. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to envisioneer cyber-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for coping with new functionalities? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of integrated synergistic, efficient cyber-fractal raw bandwidth. Think cross-media. Think viral. Think holistic, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "interactive solutions" really mean? Our backward-compatible feature set is second to none, but our virtual relationships and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for niches? We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. Without obfuscation, you will lack biometrics. We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Think intra-innovative. Without appropriate schemas, infomediaries are forced to become wireless. Think super-nano-resource-constrained.