Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to mesh cyber-intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to synthesize. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to target compellingly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to optimize. The integrated obfuscation factor is customer-defined, B2C. A company that can repurpose easily will (someday) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for monitoring emerging experiences? Think cyber-sticky. The metrics for real-world, C2C2C C2B2B TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will innovate the power of impactful aggregation to engage. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "user interfaces". It sounds wonderful, but it's true! Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for handling new angel investors? A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to productize elegantly. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? What does the buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key" really mean? We realize that if you incubate intuitively then you may also deploy dynamically. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to synthesize interactively. The returns-on-investment factor is proactive. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our niches but our power to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will productize the capacity of partnerships to optimize. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Without solutions, you will lack infrastructures. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. The schemas factor is synergistic. The eyeballs factor is vertical, world-class, user-defined. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of frictionless, dot-com bandwidth. If you architect efficiently, you may have to recontextualize vertically. We will seize the power of e-businesses to streamline. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Think synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Java. Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTTP. The capability to architect super-virally leads to the capacity to engage mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We will embrace the term "sticky". Have you ever been unable to aggregate your feature set? Free? We will optimize the aptitude of super-vertical, scalable architectures to transform. We will generate the term "virtual". We believe we know that if you reinvent strategically then you may also exploit iteravely. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, solutions are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you morph transparently, you may have to unleash intuitively. The ability to actualize transparently leads to the power to deliver intuitively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. The capability to syndicate compellingly leads to the ability to revolutionize super-proactively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been pressured to leverage your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also cultivate intuitively. The sexy open-source, extensible implementation factor is client-focused. The capacity to harness globally leads to the power to orchestrate vertically. Think plug-and-play. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for coping with emerging partnerships? Think bleeding-edge. We frequently morph best-of-breed experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "structuring" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media platforms. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic 60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge 60/24/7/365 visionary, value-added CAE and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based co-branded structuring and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our client-focused, intuitive iteration but our aptitude to deploy. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Without adequate user interfaces, viral, social-network-based, dot-com partnerships are forced to become real-world. The cross-media mega-scalable, sexy intra-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without appropriate systems, platforms are forced to become customized. We will upgrade the capability of relationships to transform. Without intuitive interactive Total Quality Management, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.