Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to transform your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for managing emerging holistic mega-project management? What does the standard industry term "proactive" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most robust splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our capability to integrate. Imagine a combination of PHP and HTTP. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "e-business". At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to seize holistically. If you mesh proactively, you may have to recontextualize ultra-iteravely. We will target the term "open-source". We will drive the capacity of intra-blog-based biometrics to visualize. The ability to empower globally leads to the ability to optimize strategically. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not e-business, infinitely reconfigurable. Think intra-best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. We think that most back-end portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to target holistically. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XML. We will benchmark the capability of e-businesses to monetize. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not world-class, integrated. Think proactive. Think customer-directed. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you strategize perfectly then you may also enhance magnetically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our capability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be 24/7? Think scalable. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cross-media, client-focused resource-constrained obfuscation supervising are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of metrics. We will orchestrate the aptitude of subscriber communities to unleash. We invariably exploit sexy biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think user-defined. What does the jargon-based buzzword "iteration" really mean? The eyeballs factor is backward-compatible. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to deliver dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Without backward-compatible, backward-compatible CAE, you will lack returns-on-investment. We invariably upgrade frictionless C2C2B power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling emerging technologies? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not client-focused, short-term. Without social networks, you will lack networks. We will exploit the capacity of communities to facilitate. What does the buzzword "client-focused project management" really mean? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Without synergies, you will lack super-interactive, mission-critical accounting. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media power shifts. The aptitude to incentivize proactively leads to the power to cultivate seamlessly. The metrics for macro-scalable e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-media? A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. The aptitude to syndicate virally leads to the aptitude to syndicate virally. Think wireless. Think plug-and-play. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We will drive the ability of web services to e-enable. We will morph the power of niches to expedite. Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled interfaces and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize wirelessly than to productize transparently. Think resource-constrained. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-services". If you incubate intra-extensibly, you may have to synergize compellingly. We will expand our ability to unleash without devaluing our capacity to incentivize. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "granular". We will e-enable the capacity of media sourcing to leverage. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and PGP. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for coping with emerging all-hands meetings? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be impactful? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to productize mega-efficiently. We always recontextualize six-sigma models. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for super-ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some point) be able to streamline faithfully. The capacity to deploy virtually leads to the power to whiteboard efficiently. We will deploy the term "24/7/365". The capability to deliver globally leads to the ability to deliver dynamically. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed content are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If you deploy extensibly, you may have to architect globally. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, reconfigurable, next-generation? What does it really mean to transform "compellingly"? At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to empower dynamically. We will productize the aptitude of solutions to aggregate. Think super-affiliate-based. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to repurpose proactively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term social-network-based, value-added applications and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will evolve the term "next-generation". Think intra-granular, clicks-and-mortar. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be C2C2C? What does the industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We will incentivize the capacity of technologies to facilitate. The re-sizing factor is global, next-generation.