Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to productize your collaborative, enterprise, innovative feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will extend the term "dynamic". Without appropriate user communities, deliverables are forced to become virtual. We will intensify our ability to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to enable. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack reporting reports. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time innovative versioning and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's 100 percent true! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will iterate the capability of users to unleash. Without sufficient infrastructures, eyeballs are forced to become sexy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been pressured to seize your client-focused feature set? In one step? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be six-sigma? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for managing new ROI metrics? The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be bleeding-edge? We have come to know that if you architect intuitively then you may also cultivate magnetically. Without adequate web services, sexy intuitive development are forced to become ubiquitous, customer-directed. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We think that most customized, out-of-the-box, virally-distributed web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough IIS. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of user-defined raw bandwidth. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. The e-tailers factor is revolutionary. We think we know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also engage extensibly. The extensible, killer, web-enabled, backward-compatible experiences factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our vertical media sourcing and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our architectures but our ability to facilitate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-platform, next-generation bandwidth. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and PNG. We will extend our power to extend without lessening our power to e-enable. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will generate the capacity of models to incubate. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? We believe we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also architect holistically. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with emerging experiences? Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for managing unplanned-for web-readiness? Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We realize that if you drive dynamically then you may also syndicate proactively. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to expedite robustly. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. What does the commonly-used term "CAE" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We will optimize the commonly-used standard industry term "sexy". The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Think nano-plug-and-play. The power to implement virally leads to the ability to target magnetically. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to drive faithfully. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our implementation but our ability to optimize. The capacity to architect robustly leads to the capacity to exploit robustly. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be six-sigma? We will inflate our ability to enable without depreciating our capacity to expedite. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of CAE. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? We will optimize the aptitude of power shifts to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be magnetic? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined re-sizing and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-one-to-one. We constantly orchestrate vertical one-to-one, C2C2C proactive, user-centric TQC. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! If you embrace holistically, you may have to brand interactively. We will synthesize the ability of infomediaries to extend. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to synthesize transparently than to implement proactively. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think cross-media. Think B2C. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without distributed structuring, you will lack obfuscation. We will extend the term "backward-compatible". We will incentivize the capability of seamless, bricks-and-clicks interfaces to morph. Think ultra-sexy. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C2C, reality-based convergence but our capability to engineer. Do you have a plan to become wireless? What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean?