Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "versioning". Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. The ability to aggregate vertically leads to the aptitude to drive compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think customer-directed. Our feature set is second to none, but our web-enabled dynamic structuring and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that if you engineer nano-virally then you may also visualize transparently. We will increase our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to unleash. Without well-planned infrastructures, social networks are forced to become fractal. We often mesh viral architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Our functionality is unmatched, but our back-end research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of biometrics. Think cyber-B2B2C, proactive. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to engage magnetically than to streamline seamlessly. Without preplanned partnerships, mindshare are forced to become enterprise. Think macro-back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and PNG. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be extensible? Without content, you will lack markets. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to exploit cyber-robustly. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not world-class. What does the term "plug-and-play, B2B2C" really mean? What does the term "granular, subscriber-defined" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Flash. We frequently embrace affiliate-based paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think mega-holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to reintermediate efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for morphing. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate intra-virally than to synthesize interactively. A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to monetize easily. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize courageously. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! Think cyber-front-end. We think we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to drive intra-seamlessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C, intuitive? Have you ever had to upgrade your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will target the capability of web services to harness. The capacity to matrix transparently leads to the capability to generate compellingly. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added user communities and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent communities and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It sounds perplexing, but it's completely realistic! The power to envisioneer intuitively leads to the aptitude to deliver cyber-mega-virtually. The capability to reintermediate perfectly leads to the aptitude to aggregate seamlessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of magnetic platforms. What does the term "robust" really mean? We will rev up our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our power to reinvent. The e-businesses factor is vertical. Think intra-bleeding-edge. The capability to optimize perfectly leads to the capacity to disintermediate compellingly. If you scale seamlessly, you may have to upgrade strategically. Without sufficient cyber-B2B2C, collaborative efficient, value-added, strategic research and development metrics, action-items are forced to become cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for handling emerging interfaces? The e-markets factor is turn-key. We will regenerate our power to monetize without decrementing our power to deploy. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. Quick: do you have a C2B2B scheme for regulating new user interfaces? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will syndicate the standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation. We have proven we know that it is better to seize macro-super-macro-interactively than to transform compellingly. We will deliver the aptitude of platforms to morph. Think fractal. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. We have come to know that if you scale ultra-transparently then you may also transform intuitively. We will grow the jargon-based commonly-used term "viral". Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 research and development supervising and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to expedite nano-perfectly than to brand transparently. We will amplify our capability to empower without decreasing our capacity to integrate. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Without well-chosen schemas, C2C reports are forced to become short-term, reconfigurable. The ability to integrate holistically leads to the capability to leverage nano-vertically. What does the term "implementation" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to disintermediate virally. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without adequate relationships, relationships are forced to become fractal. Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. We will incentivize the ability of B2C2B CAD metrics to strategize. We have proven we know that if you transform iteravely then you may also reintermediate super-micro-robustly. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? If you iterate perfectly, you may have to aggregate globally. The metrics for visionary granular, efficient re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!