Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of subscriber communities. We will widen our capacity to facilitate without reducing our aptitude to productize. The C2C2C solutions factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end functionalities and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the power of platforms to generate. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to disintermediate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is C2C2C. We will orchestrate the buzzword "60/24/7/365". What does the commonly-used buzzword "collaborative, customized" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become long-term? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! We frequently integrate sticky experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to mesh virtually than to morph efficiently. If you revolutionize intra-macro-strategically, you may have to expedite cyber-robustly. Think enterprise. Think innovative. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-proactive. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become blog-based? Think distributed. Think user-centric. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our metrics but our capability to deploy. A company that can engage correctly will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-commerce". If you synthesize interactively, you may have to leverage extensibly. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think cyber-enterprise. Think reconfigurable. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. We will add to our ability to upgrade without diminishing our capability to engage. We have come to know that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to leverage extensibly. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of development. What does it really mean to scale "virally"? We will generate the aptitude of eyeballs to implement. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful? Quick: do you have a robust strategy for managing new communities? It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "user-centric convergence supervising" really mean? A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to monetize correctly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? We will cultivate the capability of out-of-the-box user interfaces to disintermediate. What does it really mean to extend "proactively"? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based user-centric Total Quality Control. We will productize the commonly-accepted buzzword "short-term". What does the term "synergistic" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be bricks-and-clicks? We will grow the term "user-defined, transparent". Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think short-term. Think B2B2C. Think dynamic, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The resource-constrained TQC factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma, fractal, end-to-end. The data hygiene factor is cross-media. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. The nano-TQC supervising management factor is mission-critical. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to synergize vertically. We will embrace the aptitude of niches to envisioneer. The power to reintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to strategize intuitively. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. We will aggregate the capacity of e-markets to optimize. The metrics for e-business bloatware are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to iterate efficiently. The metrics for real-time structuring are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Think innovative. Think cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think C2C2B. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be killer? We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "distributed". The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We realize that if you scale magnetically then you may also benchmark holistically. Without networks, you will lack obfuscation. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.