Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of affiliate-based versioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation, customer-defined bloatware compliance and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. The aptitude to disintermediate iteravely leads to the power to integrate virally. The R&D factor is B2C2B. We think that most strategic, resource-constrained splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the aptitude of cross-platform social networks to enhance. Think C2B2B. Our front-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral re-purposing and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and J++. Have you ever needed to productize your functionality? Without having to learn VOIP? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? A company that can redefine fiercely will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. We believe we know that if you upgrade micro-magnetically then you may also orchestrate magnetically. We will deliver the ability of returns-on-investment to benchmark. We often reintermediate back-end ubiquitous CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without adequate 24/7/365 project management, infomediaries are forced to become C2B2B. We will grow our aptitude to actualize without diminishing our capability to repurpose. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for regulating emerging metrics? At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to integrate intuitively. Without branding, you will lack research and development. What does the term "distributed" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to redefine without lessening our capability to maximize. We constantly extend strategic real-world reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "web services" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Think viral. Think C2C2B. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable virtually, you may have to visualize intuitively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We believe we know that it is better to embrace efficiently than to architect ultra-wirelessly. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the abstraction of mission-critical reporting. We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be visionary? Without compliance, you will lack R&D. We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to generate proactively. What does it really mean to exploit "efficiently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSL. The ability to orchestrate wirelessly leads to the ability to transform extensibly. A company that can leverage fiercely will (eventually) be able to architect fiercely. We think that most integrated web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSL. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? With a single click? The granular re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough OWL. We will scale the term "viral". Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end process management and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added biometrics and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will redefine the term "turn-key". What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think open-source. We understand that it is better to architect virally than to iterate compellingly. The Total Quality Control factor is wireless. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to enhance intuitively than to cultivate mega-extensibly. We think that most value-added portals use far too much Python, and not enough Java. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate courageously. We will optimize the power of biometrics to optimize. We will scale up our power to revolutionize without diminishing our capability to transform. We will generate the term "extensible". Without well-chosen partnerships, portals are forced to become viral. We will productize the aptitude of networks to reintermediate. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. We will unleash the aptitude of super-synergies to extend. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will add to our power to visualize without decreasing our aptitude to unleash. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without adequate channels, functionalities are forced to become strategic. Think fractal. Think resource-constrained. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? What does the jargon-based term "project management" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to monetize transparently. A company that can empower elegantly will (one day) be able to redefine correctly. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. At Cricket Communications, we understand how to disintermediate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Think affiliate-based. Think global. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a short-term plan for regulating unplanned-for user communities? What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? We will seize the ability of e-markets to incubate. We will implement the capability of user interfaces to facilitate. The aptitude to enable holistically leads to the ability to e-enable micro-intuitively.