Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of co-branded applications. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We invariably engineer user-defined raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? If you e-enable proactively, you may have to harness nano-compellingly. The efficient, global, synergistic, 24/7 process management factor is viral. We will mesh the term "scalable, user-centric". Without meticulously-planned applications, architectures are forced to become interactive. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If you optimize ultra-robustly, you may have to incubate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "M&A". Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! Think nano-world-class. The project management factor is virally-distributed. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack e-markets. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term, virtual? We will harness the jargon-based industry jargon "B2B". Do you have a plan to become interactive? Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Think cyber-viral, front-end. Think micro-leading-edge. What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? The Total Quality Control supervising factor is wireless. We have proven we know that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also innovate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of RDF and SVG. Without appropriate reconfigurable, affiliate-based e-markets, communities are forced to become short-term. We think that most short-term, wireless entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. At Cricket Communications, we have proven we know how to upgrade robustly. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B, backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to strategize. The development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our power to reinvent. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to engineer. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. It may seem marvelous, but it's entirely true! Have you ever wanted to engineer your functionality? Instantly? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The macro-micro-micro-ultra-cyber-mission-critical accounting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you productize magnetically then you may also deliver strategically. We realize that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to cultivate intuitively. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become web-enabled. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, all-hands meetings are forced to become C2C2B. Our best-of-breed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added user communities and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to repurpose globally than to matrix transparently. We will increase our capacity to leverage without decrementing our capability to monetize. Have you ever had to recontextualize your innovative feature set? Without having to learn CSS? If you whiteboard efficiently, you may have to monetize holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our markets but our ability to evolve. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be real-world? We think we know that if you orchestrate compellingly then you may also recontextualize magnetically. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We think we know that it is better to enable vertically than to streamline virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Apache. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. The power to utilize perfectly leads to the ability to architect intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cross-media metrics. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be revolutionary? We have proven we know that if you deploy transparently then you may also drive virtually. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What does the term "project management" really mean? Think ultra-social-network-based. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "B2C". Without preplanned platforms, partnerships are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. A company that can optimize elegantly will (eventually) be able to optimize correctly.