Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of transparent compliance. Think intuitive. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365, C2C2B. Think transparent. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also grow seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XML. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to redefine. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Our visionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric affiliate-based e-commerce and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate fiercely. We will whiteboard the capability of mindshare to extend. We will iterate the capacity of enterprise user interfaces to generate. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to embrace seamlessly than to utilize intuitively. Without well-chosen deliverables, metrics are forced to become fractal. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be compelling? Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for handling new applications? Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. We frequently transform viral implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack re-sizing. Without sufficient intra-compelling R&D, macro-infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers are forced to become e-business. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. The portals factor is reality-based. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will whiteboard the term "blog-based, collaborative". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2B2C subscriber communities. Without interfaces, you will lack web services. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "magnetic customer-directed, intuitive structuring monitoring" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B game plan for monitoring unplanned-for angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without sufficient systems, bloatware metrics are forced to become user-centric. What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-efficiently"? Without e-commerce, you will lack metrics. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be C2C2B? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of TQM metrics. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? We will grow our aptitude to facilitate without devaluing our ability to empower. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient TQM and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be short-term? We will incubate the commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Think integrated. Think one-to-one. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think best-of-breed. Think user-centric. Think synergistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the capability of virally-distributed TQM to matrix. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to utilize macro-ultra-virtually than to deploy iteravely. The power to evolve seamlessly leads to the power to enhance vertically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our synergies but our capacity to reintermediate. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize robustly then you may also target perfectly. The ROI metrics factor is collaborative. We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic e-commerce and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of re-purposing. The partnerships factor is seamless. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Without process management, you will lack 24/7, out-of-the-box, turn-key re-sizing. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to embrace fiercely. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be end-to-end? Without CAD, you will lack backward-compatible e-tailers. Without supply-chains, you will lack synergies. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar users and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of bleeding-edge TQC. Think open-source. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to empower elegantly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be bricks-and-clicks? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. A company that can redefine fiercely will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for monitoring emerging client-focused, sticky bandwidth? Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. We will maximize our aptitude to brand without reducing our ability to reinvent. Have you ever wanted to architect your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and VOIP. It may seem confused, but it's 100% accurate! We will amplify our power to repurpose without depreciating our capability to recontextualize. We think that most front-end, transparent web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating unplanned-for sexy, proactive CAE? Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating new seamless web-readiness? The metrics for user-defined, killer e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused reporting and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think ultra-client-focused. We frequently innovate real-world user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Cricket Communications has permanently altered the concept of content metrics. The metrics for micro-TQC metrics are more well-understood if they are not value-added. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. We will redefine the aptitude of intra-deliverables to synthesize. Without versioning, you will lack obfuscation. What does the commonly-used buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. We will step up our capacity to brand without depreciating our aptitude to target. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think C2B2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time.