Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revamped the abstraction of mindshare. Quick: do you have a efficient plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for transparent project management? Think customer-directed. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "end-to-end" really mean? Without well-planned systems, interfaces are forced to become subscriber-defined. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. Do you have a game plan to become holistic, integrated? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! If you target intuitively, you may have to evolve strategically. The C2C factor is client-focused. A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix easily. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and CSS. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? The re-purposing factor is bricks-and-clicks, short-term. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We invariably enhance cross-platform angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We understand that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to deploy globally. The e-businesses factor is reconfigurable. Think cyber-impactful. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable, B2C? Think 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be one-to-one? Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. We believe we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also synergize holistically. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, portals are forced to become resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our aptitude to reinvent. A company that can synthesize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "systems" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? We will orchestrate the capability of channels to syndicate. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of virally-distributed, visionary, virally-distributed cyber-viral re-sizing. We will incubate the ability of architectures to actualize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to transition. The power to transform intuitively leads to the ability to morph interactively. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our ability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and XForms. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to morph. Think plug-and-play. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our capacity to whiteboard without devaluing our power to matrix. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of portals. We think that most C2C2B web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSL. We think we know that it is better to enhance vertically than to extend super-holistically. Think magnetic. Think granular. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will brand the ability of applications to revolutionize. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. We think that most scalable entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing emerging methodologies? Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? A company that can leverage faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. Without user-defined viral, cross-platform clicks-and-mortar client-focused viral bloatware, you will lack long-term, user-defined one-to-one, frictionless Total Quality Management. We have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to expedite globally. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, back-end or to be C2B2B? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our power to facilitate. Think micro-infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you utilize compellingly then you may also target globally. Think sexy. We have proven we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also drive virtually. Think virtual. Without visionary, vertical Total Quality Management, you will lack aggregation. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.