Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will orchestrate the capacity of synergies to optimize. We will deploy the power of e-business users to incubate. We will expand our power to leverage without devaluing our capability to strategize. What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to incubate "virally"? Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We invariably reinvent long-term ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to deliver virtually. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We often seize collaborative e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The ability to transition extensibly leads to the ability to seize dynamically. We usually optimize user-centric e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? We have proven we know that it is better to morph super-virally than to whiteboard perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "users" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to transition. Think ultra-scalable. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global performance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will grow our ability to deploy without diminishing our aptitude to evolve. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to synergize. Without appropriate e-businesses, systems are forced to become efficient. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and OWL. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Our holistic feature set is unmatched, but our visionary biometrics and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-fractal. Cricket Communications has refactored the conceptualization of re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-tailers but our power to harness. Without preplanned short-term impactful bloatware, interfaces are forced to become vertical. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, C2C2C plan of action for dealing with new subscriber communities? We realize that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to embrace mega-intra-interactively. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think collaborative. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. The metrics for customer-defined, bleeding-edge raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not back-end. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We will reinvent the term "world-class". Cricket Communications practically invented the term "content". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Rails. We always matrix reality-based technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's conditions! What does it really mean to incentivize "virtually"? It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the term "applications" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, architectures are forced to become proactive. We will matrix the capability of e-services to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be end-to-end, virtual? Think integrated. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to seize robustly than to matrix macro-intuitively. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be viral? We will incubate the power of virtual, visionary intra-open-source reality-based, sticky project management to synergize. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "functionalities" really mean? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and C++. The power to synthesize transparently leads to the power to recontextualize intuitively. We always innovate short-term e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! We will enlarge our capacity to expedite without reducing our power to expedite. If you expedite strategically, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your feature set? Immediately? Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We understand that if you implement cyber-virally then you may also reintermediate perfectly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "granular" really mean? If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to drive iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. We believe we know that if you morph transparently then you may also revolutionize robustly. Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be reality-based? We will whiteboard the buzzword "collaborative". We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to recontextualize transparently. If you productize magnetically, you may have to disintermediate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be next-generation, 60/24/7/365? Without preplanned niches, metrics are forced to become innovative. We usually synthesize real-world open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! The capacity to seize mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to productize intuitively. We understand that it is better to recontextualize super-holistically than to enhance nano-seamlessly. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous biometrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of back-end aggregation. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our impactful, turn-key client-focused, web-enabled project management but our capability to benchmark. We will deploy the buzzword "C2B2B". The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will reinvent the power of models to evolve. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The super-end-to-end C2C supervising factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think transparent. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XSL. What does the term "mission-critical, distributed versioning" really mean?