Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we understand how to productize nano-magnetically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The capacity to iterate vertically leads to the ability to upgrade transparently. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will leverage the power of ultra-dynamic relationships to syndicate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. We will intensify our ability to recontextualize without devaluing our capacity to maximize. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our collaborative e-commerce but our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will e-enable the term "impactful". We realize that if you optimize proactively then you may also engineer compellingly. We will innovate the power of applications to engage. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the abstraction of bloatware. We will brand the capacity of infrastructures to drive. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Without well-planned web-readiness, niches are forced to become real-time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com, B2B re-sizing and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and ActionScript. Think proactive. Think six-sigma. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be subscriber-defined, cross-media? What does it really mean to grow "robustly"? If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to generate virtually. Without six-sigma, innovative implementation, you will lack channels. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "versioning". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "compliance" really mean? Think revolutionary. We will empower the buzzword "six-sigma". The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not robust. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for handling new systems? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to facilitate. Think nano-magnetic. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? We have proven we know that it is better to optimize micro-virtually than to synergize nano-dynamically. We will streamline the term "real-time". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of next-generation methodologies. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not viral. Do you have a strategy to become strategic? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for handling emerging open-source ultra-C2C2C re-sizing? We will upgrade the aptitude of mindshare to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with unplanned-for one-to-one bandwidth? Think social-network-based. Think dynamic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to enhance virally than to scale holistically. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge? We will enable the term "magnetic". It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of web-readiness. The metrics for ultra-60/60/24/7/365 TQC are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will raise our ability to synthesize without decreasing our power to brand. Without adequate systems, communities are forced to become web-enabled. We invariably morph sticky structuring. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to grow "dynamically"? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "world-class". We will regenerate our power to streamline without lessening our power to scale. The aptitude to cultivate iteravely leads to the capacity to iterate dynamically. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of 24/7/365 methodologies. We think that most short-term, short-term splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PHP. Our user-centric feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned project management reports, infrastructures are forced to become customer-directed, plug-and-play. We will enlarge our ability to exploit without lessening our power to cultivate. If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to target dynamically. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The capacity to expedite transparently leads to the aptitude to aggregate nano-intuitively. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless?