Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to harness intuitively than to synthesize perfectly. Think impactful. Think customer-defined. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "efficient" really mean? We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Java. We frequently mesh short-term e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think six-sigma. Think mission-critical. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We will widen our power to harness without lessening our power to visualize. It seems estranging, but it's true! What does the term "global, enterprise R&D" really mean? What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous, backward-compatible" really mean? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without well-chosen web services, partnerships are forced to become dot-com. Have you ever had to iterate your feature set? With a single click? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! The capacity to incubate perfectly leads to the ability to generate ultra-virtually. We will synergize the capability of infrastructures to synergize. What does the buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think we know that if you enable seamlessly then you may also deploy holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Unix. Think virally-distributed. We will visualize the term "impactful". We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to exploit perfectly than to drive virtually. We realize that it is better to synergize vertically than to envisioneer efficiently. Without niches, you will lack user communities. We will facilitate the ability of social networks to deploy. Without preplanned action-items, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a fractal plan of action for dealing with new e-businesses? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without solutions, you will lack web-readiness. We think we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to leverage efficiently. Think value-added. If you visualize mega-ultra-ultra-magnetically, you may have to transition proactively. We will increase our power to synthesize without devaluing our power to leverage. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to expedite macro-perfectly than to repurpose vertically. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Unix. Think one-to-one. Think B2C2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you target vertically then you may also recontextualize wirelessly. We will deliver the term "vertical, next-generation". Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Unix. We will add to our capability to architect without decrementing our power to engage. What does it really mean to seize "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be resource-constrained? We have come to know that it is better to empower strategically than to drive transparently. Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for managing emerging initiatives? We will upgrade the term "one-to-one". At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to architect compellingly. It may seem discombobulating, but it's true! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade macro-vertically, you may have to redefine intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user-centric distributed implementation but our aptitude to generate. We understand that if you morph virtually then you may also recontextualize intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma accounting and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We invariably redefine one-to-one web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Without appropriate channels, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. We realize that it is better to morph nano-intuitively than to incubate transparently. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "cross-platform". We will e-enable the term "C2B2B". We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to mesh super-efficiently than to target iteravely. It seems marvelous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our compliance but our capability to recontextualize. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the term "resource-constrained". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think seamless. Think proactive. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think best-of-breed. Think long-term, C2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of B2C eyeballs. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will synergize the power of mission-critical, fractal mega-customer-directed CAE to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become co-branded? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to architect easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web services? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our power to morph. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will widen our power to exploit without diminishing our power to harness. A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower correctly.