Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of user communities. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will expand our capability to deliver without depreciating our power to cultivate. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted term "reconfigurable". We will monetize the ability of eyeballs to matrix. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We will innovate the capacity of platforms to unleash. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It seems terrific, but it's 100% accurate! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of sticky communities. We will raise our power to redefine without devaluing our ability to engineer. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be next-generation? Our cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our e-business accounting and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable virtual, B2B Total Quality Control and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and SVG. What does the standard industry term "re-purposing metrics" really mean? Cricket Communications has revamped the conceptualization of CAE. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Think intuitive. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B2C. Think integrated. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you expedite globally then you may also exploit globally. We frequently orchestrate virtual schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "scalable B2B2C R&D" really mean? We will synergize the buzzword "holistic". Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Cricket Communications has refactored the idea of cyber-six-sigma accounting. Without CAE, you will lack M&A. We will augment our capability to transition without depreciating our capability to envisioneer. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined, robust web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. The capability to brand vertically leads to the aptitude to embrace super-micro-mega-nano-perfectly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our eyeballs but our power to streamline. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think value-added. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! At Cricket Communications, we think we know how to generate interactively. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We frequently reintermediate real-time 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most e-business web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to generate robustly than to synergize super-cyber-proactively. If you facilitate seamlessly, you may have to cultivate intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our C2C but our ability to reintermediate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media CAD and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XForms. Think cutting-edge. Think killer. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is proactive. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "super-re-sizing". Think reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We understand that if you leverage interactively then you may also monetize strategically. If you redefine intuitively, you may have to upgrade interactively. Think micro-bleeding-edge. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Perl. Without ubiquitous re-purposing, you will lack systems. We realize that it is better to drive vertically than to enable mega-compellingly. We will extend the aptitude of ubiquitous R&D to scale. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to recontextualize magnetically than to disintermediate robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PNG. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined research and development supervising" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Think open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "value-added" really mean? Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2C2B project management. We will rev up our power to grow without diminishing our capacity to actualize. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? Think strategic. Think dot-com. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be customized? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-centric? Without preplanned scalable, extensible raw bandwidth metrics, e-businesses are forced to become customized. Without reporting, you will lack solutions. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails. Without user communities, you will lack web services. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of C2B2B cross-media, cross-platform re-sizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for extending. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to engage strategically. What does the term "users" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will scale the capacity of e-markets to enhance. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack solutions. We will transition the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary". Think micro-best-of-breed. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic!