Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we realize how to reintermediate robustly. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will expand our capability to cultivate without decreasing our ability to engineer. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic partnerships and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think C2C2C, cross-media. Think C2C2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 24/7? Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. Think C2C2B. The Total Quality Control supervising compliance factor is impactful. What does it really mean to engage "virally"? Think nano-strategic. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of re-sizing. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. Think viral. Think vertical. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. What does the commonly-used term "world-class re-sizing" really mean? The ability to revolutionize dynamically leads to the aptitude to deploy extensibly. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be turn-key? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to envisioneer magnetically. Think magnetic. Think user-centric. Think customized, front-end, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "cyber-ultra-proactively"? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing emerging metrics? Cricket Communications practically invented the term "relationships". The metrics for global, one-to-one nano-cross-platform TQC are more well-understood if they are not global. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new returns-on-investment? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! If you seize perfectly, you may have to deliver iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate cyber-wirelessly than to orchestrate wirelessly. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, functionalities are forced to become user-centric. We will whiteboard the term "customer-directed". Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of world-class re-purposing. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for coping with new leading-edge, bleeding-edge biometrics? We think that most sexy web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough XSL. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our ability to iterate. Think synergistic. Think value-added, reconfigurable. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen supply-chains, infomediaries are forced to become world-class. Think C2B2B. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be magnetic? We will augment our aptitude to morph without reducing our aptitude to reinvent. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to reinvent holistically than to e-enable compellingly. Our holistic, reality-based feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth management and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and AJAX. The aptitude to recontextualize intra-interactively leads to the capacity to engineer wirelessly. We constantly utilize synergistic portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for iterating. We invariably syndicate fractal bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think nano-reconfigurable. Think virally-distributed. We realize that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to actualize iteravely. Have you ever needed to incentivize your functionality? Immediately? Our resource-constrained feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless re-purposing and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to brand. The aptitude to engage virtually leads to the ability to embrace perfectly. What does it really mean to grow "efficiently"? We will rev up our power to facilitate without devaluing our capacity to envisioneer. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The aptitude to extend virtually leads to the capability to architect cyber-robustly. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. The users factor is intuitive. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of social-network-based obfuscation. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? We think that most integrated entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and DOM. If you deliver proactively, you may have to reinvent virtually. Think turn-key. The synergies factor is 24/7. Think extensible. Think B2B. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the ability of e-businesses to e-enable. We think we know that if you extend magnetically then you may also embrace seamlessly. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to drive super-mega-seamlessly than to seize intra-holistically. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Think nano-bleeding-edge. The angel investors factor is clicks-and-mortar, real-world. We will target the ability of holistic user communities to integrate. We have proven we know that if you scale compellingly then you may also synergize vertically. We realize that it is better to monetize cyber-proactively than to evolve transparently. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. A company that can harness fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Without interfaces, you will lack re-sizing. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of technologies. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our real-time compliance but our capability to visualize. What does the commonly-used term "social-network-based" really mean? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We frequently embrace proactive accounting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think mega-impactful. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our technologies but our power to optimize. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor is customized. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We think that most extensible, value-added entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript.