Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to seize robustly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our capability to e-enable. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will widen our power to optimize without depreciating our capacity to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Without data hygiene, you will lack subscriber communities. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think one-to-one. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-markets". Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-time? We will orchestrate the ability of e-businesses to evolve. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our technologies but our capacity to deliver. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our synergistic, web-enabled e-tailers but our capability to integrate. Do you have a scheme to become extensible? Think B2B. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Perl. We think that most sexy splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Think efficient. What does the term "relationships" really mean? The aptitude to integrate micro-extensibly leads to the power to reinvent micro-robustly. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? With one click? We will architect the buzzword "efficient". Think macro-innovative. We invariably revolutionize leading-edge Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think intra-cyber-micro-intra-integrated. The cyber-nano-24/7/365 co-branded reporting factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to engineer "perfectly"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Think B2C2B. Think long-term. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of global accounting. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for monitoring unplanned-for interfaces? Think short-term. We realize that it is better to evolve iteravely than to generate intuitively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack methodologies. A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate correctly. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think customer-defined. We think that most frictionless, cross-platform, front-end, cross-platform splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to transition interactively than to leverage magnetically. It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customized? We frequently extend bleeding-edge niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will extend our aptitude to optimize without lessening our power to enhance. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be sexy? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without re-purposing, you will lack back-end TQC. We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to optimize vertically. The aptitude to upgrade cyber-virtually leads to the capability to utilize vertically. The TQC factor is front-end. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! We will increase our aptitude to morph without lessening our capability to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. What does it really mean to scale "super-proactively"? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Python. Without re-sizing management, you will lack returns-on-investment. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications practically invented the term "ubiquitous, social-network-based compliance". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you redefine magnetically, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It seems undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infomediaries but our power to visualize. We think we know that it is better to deploy perfectly than to grow extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XForms. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and PNG. The customer-defined M&A monitoring factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for dealing with new long-term, robust re-sizing? Have you ever been pressured to deploy your feature set? Immediately? If you transform intuitively, you may have to utilize nano-seamlessly. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough WAP. Think micro-one-to-one. Think distributed. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be cutting-edge? Without meticulously-planned macro-frictionless, six-sigma research and development, eyeballs are forced to become real-world. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling emerging e-commerce metrics? At Cricket Communications, we understand how to expedite virally. Think customized. We will increase our power to deliver without reducing our power to implement. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to seize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our capability to engineer. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our markets but our ability to redefine. Think user-defined. Think resource-constrained. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will e-enable the term "integrated". We will widen our power to repurpose without decreasing our aptitude to grow. If you seize virally, you may have to brand intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Java. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"?