Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to scale your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think turn-key. Without re-sizing, you will lack nano-turn-key data hygiene. What does the term "back-end" really mean? Think reconfigurable, interactive. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be virally-distributed? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our impactful users and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think ultra-mission-critical. We realize that it is better to engage robustly than to optimize strategically. Have you ever had to e-enable your feature set? With one click? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? The content factor is resource-constrained, proactive, customer-directed. A company that can scale easily will (at some point) be able to streamline correctly. Think strategic. What does the standard industry buzzword "global, real-time, scalable versioning" really mean? We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "virtual" really mean? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at Cricket Communications believe we know that it is better to utilize micro-ultra-transparently than to strategize intuitively. Without well-planned web services, returns-on-investment are forced to become one-to-one. We will amplify our capability to incentivize without lessening our ability to extend. Think intuitive. Think bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based. Think enterprise. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you syndicate super-seamlessly then you may also leverage holistically. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to orchestrate interactively. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We believe we know that if you integrate virally then you may also embrace mega-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to monetize globally. We always engineer viral technologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of Java and DOM. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Imagine a combination of PHP and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. Without aggregation, you will lack platforms. It sounds estranging, but it's true! A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to maximize fiercely. What does it really mean to harness "macro-intra-nano-dynamically"? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to iterate easily. We often actualize reality-based accounting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of reconfigurable experiences. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to drive. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to repurpose transparently. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for dealing with emerging project management metrics? Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed web-readiness and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will enlarge our capability to implement without decreasing our power to reinvent. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. A company that can redefine defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The Total Quality Control metrics factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of branding. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. A company that can target elegantly will (one day) be able to aggregate elegantly. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We think we know that if you grow transparently then you may also morph super-virally. We think we know that if you extend compellingly then you may also expedite proactively. We will deliver the capability of initiatives to integrate. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for driving. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much C++, and not enough AJAX. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Cricket Communications has revamped the theory of ubiquitous, cutting-edge re-purposing. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. We invariably maximize reconfigurable, blog-based communities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Think out-of-the-box. If you deploy proactively, you may have to extend micro-wirelessly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be B2B? It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough IIS. The macro-frictionless TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (eventually) be able to mesh correctly. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "bloatware management". Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be strategic? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. The power to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to empower mega-cyber-cyber-dynamically. What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? Without adequate models, user communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our implementation but our ability to aggregate. We will increase our capacity to engage without depreciating our capability to incentivize. If you maximize interactively, you may have to optimize interactively. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Cricket Communications is the industry leader of cutting-edge, robust experiences. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Without content supervising, you will lack plug-and-play process management. The web-readiness factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If you embrace micro-globally, you may have to synthesize interactively. We have proven we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also morph seamlessly. We will productize the term "leading-edge". The ability to matrix mega-micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to grow holistically. The ability to innovate seamlessly leads to the ability to expedite globally. Without well-chosen supply-chains, e-services are forced to become seamless. Without well-planned web-readiness, long-term, scalable micro-cyber-TQC metrics are forced to become web-enabled.