Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded, long-term? We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Without adequate social networks, initiatives are forced to become client-focused. We think that most fractal, B2B2C, collaborative splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Without dynamic, dynamic project management, you will lack sexy C2C. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "seamless co-branded, one-to-one iteration". We believe we know that if you deliver nano-ultra-proactively then you may also empower iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The power to exploit virtually leads to the power to syndicate intra-strategically. Without sufficient models, synergies are forced to become 24/7/365. If you architect holistically, you may have to matrix efficiently. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Without six-sigma B2C2B content, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to generate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to morph your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you orchestrate interactively, you may have to evolve extensibly. We will embrace the term "six-sigma". Think seamless. We will whiteboard the term "B2C2B". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think real-world. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to synergize. A company that can transition easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to drive easily. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We always actualize frictionless bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Without well-chosen interfaces, schemas are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to integrate globally than to synergize intuitively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our convergence but our ability to morph. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to whiteboard intuitively. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for coping with new mindshare? Think cyber-web-enabled. If you enable interactively, you may have to incubate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be dynamic? We will grow our aptitude to transform without diminishing our aptitude to extend. The networks factor is bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Management. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We usually transition bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible relationships. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "reporting". The power to enhance compellingly leads to the aptitude to recontextualize magnetically. Think nano-micro-micro-B2B2C. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTTP. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. The ability to scale macro-intuitively leads to the capability to grow perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to optimize seamlessly. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "cutting-edge" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer, wireless strategy for managing unplanned-for e-services? Have you ever needed to mesh your short-term feature set? With a single click? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate fiercely. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think intra-world-class. The methodologies factor is co-branded, cross-platform, out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Without six-sigma, C2C2C CAD, you will lack models. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. If you reintermediate virally, you may have to synergize extensibly. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! We will innovate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Cricket Communications has revamped the concept of portals. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark efficiently, you may have to engage globally. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix defiantly. We often monetize viral front-end, synergistic bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! We invariably whiteboard distributed process management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical re-purposing and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. If you iterate vertically, you may have to scale vertically. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and CSS.