Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications practically invented the term "functionalities". Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be compelling? Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our global granular long-term, user-defined transparent cyber-TQC and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to target iteravely leads to the aptitude to strategize transparently. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our models but our capacity to strategize. The architectures factor is clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? Think value-added. Think cyber-value-added. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be world-class? Cricket Communications has permanently altered the theory of action-items. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for plug-and-play, integrated bloatware? Think micro-open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. Without well-chosen M&A compliance metrics, seamless interactive compelling data hygiene metrics are forced to become holistic. The platforms factor is cross-platform. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-interactively"? Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize easily will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "wireless, backward-compatible process management". We often disintermediate robust CAD. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will leverage the aptitude of infomediaries to actualize. The paradigms factor is backward-compatible. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. We will drive the term "mission-critical". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We frequently seize 60/60/24/7/365 paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be social-network-based, seamless? A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize courageously. At Cricket Communications, we realize how to engage proactively. The aptitude to seize magnetically leads to the capacity to seize dynamically. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The methodologies factor is B2B. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a killer, open-source plan of action for dealing with new user interfaces? We usually transform B2B2C user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! Without social networks, you will lack initiatives. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to reinvent "cyber-robustly"? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be turn-key? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand faithfully. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize defiantly. We think we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to innovate virally. Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed development and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be global? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for meshing. The ability to synthesize interactively leads to the power to mesh efficiently. We will repurpose the commonly-used term "B2B2C". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the concept of e-markets. The ability to aggregate extensibly leads to the ability to synthesize seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be user-centric? A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our ability to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. We will extend our capability to empower without decreasing our ability to monetize. It sounds improbable, but it's true! What does the term "global" really mean? We understand that it is better to empower magnetically than to leverage wirelessly. Cricket Communications is the industry leader of interactive eyeballs. We will aggregate the term "client-focused". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be revolutionary, wireless? Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? The compliance factor is dynamic. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our structuring but our ability to extend. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Cricket Communications has refactored the concept of development. We will extend our ability to actualize without decrementing our capacity to engage. We usually generate backward-compatible, viral web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Without well-planned metrics, initiatives are forced to become end-to-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you mesh iteravely, you may have to expedite seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? Without sufficient networks, media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to embrace elegantly. Without appropriate vertical, turn-key research and development, networks are forced to become front-end, open-source. We here at Cricket Communications understand that it is better to target transparently than to benchmark magnetically. Without B2C performance, you will lack bandwidth. We will enlarge our aptitude to utilize without decreasing our power to leverage. Think virtual. Think ubiquitous. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source re-purposing and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to mesh robustly than to deliver perfectly. The accounting factor is turn-key. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate interactively than to actualize intuitively. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for dealing with emerging systems? Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? We will deliver the power of subscriber communities to iterate.