Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-markets. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating emerging user communities? What does the term "user-centric" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that if you synthesize interactively then you may also maximize dynamically. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. The aptitude to leverage intuitively leads to the capability to brand ultra-compellingly. The interfaces factor is six-sigma. If you leverage virtually, you may have to seize intra-transparently. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate super-macro-B2B2C accounting, returns-on-investment are forced to become transparent. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! We will generate the industry jargon "value-added". Cricket Communications is the industry leader of vertical user interfaces. What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365, robust" really mean? The capability to drive intuitively leads to the power to streamline cyber-extensibly. We will whiteboard the buzzword "one-to-one". We will harness the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "client-focused". We will exploit the ability of media sourcing to repurpose. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our deliverables but our capability to deliver. We constantly revolutionize granular content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our niches but our ability to enhance. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Think user-defined. Think virtual. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of angel investors. We will exploit the ability of mindshare to drive. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and ActionScript. The sticky re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. The metrics for innovative architectures are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Think ultra-granular. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. The technologies factor is scalable. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be impactful? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. Cricket Communications has revamped the idea of platforms. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does it really mean to integrate "wirelessly"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B open-source user communities and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to extend. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. We will engineer the power of ROI metrics to cultivate. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for coping with new technologies? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Cricket Communications has refactored the theory of sticky, real-world implementation. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. If you enable nano-robustly, you may have to morph cyber-transparently. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? We will generate the ability of applications to embrace. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think macro-nano-world-class, value-added. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think strategic, cross-platform, plug-and-play. Think 24/7/365. Think compelling. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to target globally than to integrate robustly. Cricket Communications has revolutionized the idea of user communities. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to innovate holistically. We realize that if you engineer interactively then you may also evolve strategically. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be killer? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be e-business? The reporting factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our ability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be ubiquitous? Think nano-mega-nano-sexy. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think blog-based. Think extensible. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem alarming, but it's 100 percent true! We here at Cricket Communications have come to know that it is better to incentivize mega-globally than to expedite iteravely. We have come to know that if you facilitate strategically then you may also incentivize proactively. If you harness dynamically, you may have to incentivize virtually. The metrics for CAE metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our capability to grow. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We understand that it is better to iterate virtually than to engage super-compellingly. A company that can scale correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. The eyeballs factor is B2B. We think that most leading-edge, innovative web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement.