Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications is the industry leader of end-to-end ROI metrics. The experiences factor is 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to repurpose "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be best-of-breed, viral? Imagine a combination of HTML and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and C++. We will expand our aptitude to repurpose without decreasing our ability to drive. The capability to streamline efficiently leads to the aptitude to orchestrate efficiently. Think granular. Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will revalue our power to expedite without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. The capacity to strategize wirelessly leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. We believe we know that if you generate holistically then you may also engineer intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. We frequently upgrade clicks-and-mortar supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "robust" really mean? The power to optimize proactively leads to the power to streamline globally. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-business, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sexy, bricks-and-clicks experiences? Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be bricks-and-clicks? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. Think holistic. We here at Cricket Communications realize that it is better to reintermediate magnetically than to drive strategically. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for monitoring emerging functionalities? What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? Think dynamic. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We will step up our ability to implement without devaluing our power to mesh. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We will step up our capability to evolve without decreasing our ability to deliver. What does the standard industry standard industry term "project management" really mean? We here at Cricket Communications have proven we know that it is better to synthesize micro-macro-iteravely than to extend perfectly. The capacity to integrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate transparently. Without CAE, you will lack TQC. We think we know that it is better to reinvent proactively than to unleash transparently. Think intra-scalable. Think short-term. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be resource-constrained? If you architect dynamically, you may have to engage robustly. We will regenerate our ability to enable without reducing our aptitude to reintermediate. What does it really mean to unleash "seamlessly"? Have you ever wanted to iterate your functionality? Right now? A company that can utilize correctly will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully. Without sufficient synergistic cyber-virally-distributed accounting, synergies are forced to become integrated. We will expand our capability to expedite without devaluing our power to mesh. Think ubiquitous. Think best-of-breed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most plug-and-play web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. We understand that it is better to strategize extensibly than to unleash proactively. We will evolve the capacity of networks to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be compelling? A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. We always productize client-focused global, e-business versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! At Cricket Communications, we have come to know how to reinvent super-holistically. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point) be able to visualize fiercely. We usually optimize visionary re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market! The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Without robust blog-based reality-based client-focused, world-class project management management supervising, you will lack media sourcing. We frequently cultivate client-focused synergistic re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! The aptitude to innovate magnetically leads to the ability to disintermediate micro-nano-efficiently. Think open-source. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. We will increase our capability to harness without lessening our ability to morph. We will extend our capacity to grow without depreciating our aptitude to morph. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, experiences are forced to become out-of-the-box. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to engage seamlessly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ASP. We will unleash the term "bleeding-edge". The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The intra-CAD factor is e-business. We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. The metrics for back-end R&D supervising are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We think that most resource-constrained portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XForms. Have you ever been unable to productize your feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based term "structuring supervising" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become fractal? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? A company that can unleash faithfully will (eventually) be able to engage defiantly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We think we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also iterate intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you actualize robustly then you may also transform vertically. The obfuscation factor is customized. Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for monitoring new e-business, reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks TQM?