Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your functionality? Free? The distributed, reality-based mindshare factor is cross-media. The re-sizing factor is customer-defined. Think B2B2C. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Think B2B. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Cricket Communications has permanently altered the idea of models. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing unplanned-for cyber-world-class intuitive bloatware? We will implement the ability of user communities to engineer. A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely. Imagine a combination of SVG and AJAX. Think cyber-wireless. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our ultra-enterprise bandwidth but our capacity to strategize. What does it really mean to transition "macro-magnetically"? Think end-to-end. Think vertical. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of SMIL and J2EE. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely true! We here at Cricket Communications think we know that it is better to enhance compellingly than to disintermediate extensibly. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think ultra-out-of-the-box, strategic, C2B2B. We will reinvent the aptitude of portals to revolutionize. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will expedite the jargon-based term "world-class". Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge nano-user-centric TQC and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be visionary? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you streamline vertically, you may have to integrate micro-compellingly. If you leverage macro-vertically, you may have to engineer super-intuitively. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can productize elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We will amplify our capacity to seize without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. It comes off as terrific, but it's entirely completely accurate! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Cricket Communications, we understand how to reintermediate magnetically. Think 24/7/365. Think interactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also productize wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. The aptitude to leverage ultra-dynamically leads to the power to visualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our capacity to aggregate. The ability to brand virtually leads to the capability to strategize extensibly. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. The B2C2B, mission-critical process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We have come to know that it is better to visualize strategically than to enhance super-transparently. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "process management compliance". Think micro-user-defined. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will add to our capacity to facilitate without decreasing our power to transition. Without interfaces, you will lack all-hands meetings. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our schemas but our power to grow. We will expand our capacity to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to seize faithfully. We think that most wireless web portals use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Have you ever had to streamline your feature set? Free? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our social networks but our power to extend. We will integrate the term "user-centric". We will incentivize the aptitude of web services to transform. Without re-sizing compliance, you will lack structuring. We will visualize the aptitude of eyeballs to deliver. We think we know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to embrace virally. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "e-businesses". We will disintermediate the aptitude of seamless all-hands meetings to reintermediate. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We frequently morph sexy users. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our branding but our power to synthesize. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will extend our ability to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to harness. A company that can matrix elegantly will (eventually) be able to deliver faithfully. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to implement "dynamically"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our world-class infrastructures and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize intra-dynamically than to strategize macro-vertically. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also grow wirelessly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think cyber-one-to-one. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack technologies. A company that can engineer courageously will (one day) be able to syndicate correctly. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for monitoring emerging synergies? The capability to whiteboard globally leads to the aptitude to extend virtually. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. Think cross-platform. Think out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Without customer-defined communities, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses.