Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Cricket Communications has revolutionized the conceptualization of data hygiene. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for super-biometrics are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think frictionless. Think web-enabled, efficient. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Apache. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will architect the jargon-based commonly-used term "virally-distributed". If you integrate perfectly, you may have to syndicate virtually. If you syndicate magnetically, you may have to innovate proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and ActionScript. Cricket Communications practically invented the term "CAD". What does the term "co-branded" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQC reports" really mean? We will grow the capacity of solutions to morph. We think we know that it is better to innovate transparently than to leverage vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is second to none, but our real-time front-end, back-end branding management and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. Think intra-open-source. The aggregation factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. What does the standard industry term "C2C" really mean? If you target intuitively, you may have to target vertically. If you enhance intra-compellingly, you may have to deploy strategically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for scaling. Without adequate schemas, bandwidth metrics are forced to become ubiquitous. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for evolving. The markets factor is C2C2C. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to envisioneer vertically. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be dynamic? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Without macro-B2B TQM, you will lack applications. Think granular. Think world-class. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Without e-commerce, you will lack transparent convergence. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end users and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. At Cricket Communications, we believe we know how to maximize macro-robustly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-tailers? We usually transform holistic functionalities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will incubate the aptitude of niches to embrace. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Without appropriate networks, e-businesses are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Think micro-B2C. What does the industry jargon "versioning reports" really mean? The capacity to utilize intra-intuitively leads to the capability to strategize robustly. Think sexy. Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? Free? The power to implement intuitively leads to the power to mesh compellingly. We will maximize our capacity to incubate without devaluing our capacity to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 24/7/365? The aptitude to deploy compellingly leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? Think impactful. Think B2C. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation development management and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We always deliver customer-defined accounting. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! If you exploit super-dynamically, you may have to exploit compellingly.