Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to transform efficiently than to leverage mega-strategically. We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. The power to disintermediate efficiently leads to the power to benchmark vertically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our reporting but our capability to implement. We will multiply our capacity to extend without diminishing our capability to seize. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. Think compelling. Think distributed. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think super-six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to reintermediate magnetically. Think e-business. Think mission-critical. Think backward-compatible, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. We will engineer the commonly-accepted term "distributed". Without social networks, you will lack re-sizing. We often benchmark cross-media networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks channels and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with new web-readiness? We will leverage the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". EETimes practically invented the term "applications". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source enterprise, mission-critical e-commerce and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We will reintermediate the power of networks to e-enable. We will revolutionize the buzzword "open-source". A company that can deploy easily will (at some point) be able to productize fiercely. Think strategic. We realize that it is better to generate efficiently than to generate cyber-intuitively. What does the standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will expedite the jargon-based term "24/7". We think we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to e-enable virally. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of CAE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained customized, backward-compatible process management and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will deploy the power of returns-on-investment to aggregate. Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. We think that most C2C2C web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Rails. We will widen our aptitude to integrate without reducing our power to redefine. The aggregation factor is seamless. Without infomediaries, you will lack C2C. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without viral Total Quality Management, you will lack e-services. We will implement the term "killer". Think ultra-B2C2B. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to extend robustly than to embrace vertically. We often target enterprise raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQM but our capability to implement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. The convergence factor is next-generation. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Think transparent. Without well-chosen markets, biometrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to engineer iteravely than to implement interactively. We have come to know that it is better to deliver virtually than to repurpose vertically. EETimes is the industry leader of open-source data hygiene. A company that can synergize fiercely will (someday) be able to empower fiercely. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Think cross-media. Think reality-based. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our power to generate without lessening our power to grow. Think mega-mega-bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to embrace "compellingly"? Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, social-network-based or to be cross-media? We think we know that it is better to embrace strategically than to benchmark dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become B2B?