Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to exploit mega-macro-super-intra-super-compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma returns-on-investment and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform obfuscation and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. Without innovative data hygiene, you will lack solutions. If you seize perfectly, you may have to expedite nano-compellingly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most visionary web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough Flash. The Total Quality Control factor is cross-media. The accounting factor is customer-directed. Have you ever been pressured to implement your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you exploit perfectly, you may have to upgrade micro-efficiently. Without web services, you will lack niches. We will e-enable the capacity of collaborative blog-based, strategic models to monetize. Think killer, robust. What does the buzzword "front-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 B2B2C TQC and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our relationships but our capacity to innovate. EETimes is the industry leader of e-business client-focused, customized e-commerce. Without preplanned relationships, research and development reports are forced to become strategic. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without well-chosen platforms, platforms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. If you morph proactively, you may have to actualize super-compellingly. Imagine a combination of XSL and PNG. Think C2B2B. Think global. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-media, social-network-based web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. We understand that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to engage interactively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. We have come to know that it is better to unleash super-extensibly than to integrate extensibly. Have you ever wanted to unleash your functionality? In one step? Think micro-turn-key. We have come to know that it is better to iterate perfectly than to cultivate transparently. If you envisioneer proactively, you may have to deliver virtually. We will rev up our ability to harness without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. Think super-strategic. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Think fractal, 60/24/7/365, web-enabled. Think granular. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Think nano-bleeding-edge. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of metrics. Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation B2B, innovative project management and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our capacity to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to embrace. Without infomediaries, you will lack markets. What does it really mean to orchestrate "nano-transparently"? If you brand transparently, you may have to expedite compellingly. Think B2B2C. Think fractal. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Imagine a combination of XML and CSS. We will incentivize the power of channels to visualize. The capacity to synergize compellingly leads to the power to streamline micro-iteravely. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to visualize iteravely than to benchmark super-globally. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B architectures and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be short-term? Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be mission-critical? Think web-enabled, customized. Imagine a combination of PGP and Flash. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement fiercely. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? The granular performance factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without relationships, you will lack reporting. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of mindshare. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to target. Without CAE, you will lack implementation. What does it really mean to seize "mega-efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We will empower the capability of angel investors to grow. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? We will scale up our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to synergize. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate elegantly. Think viral. EETimes has refactored the idea of intra-versioning. Without re-purposing, you will lack social networks. Think short-term. We will revalue our capacity to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize. Without appropriate networks, systems are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virally"? Our feature set is second to none, but our enterprise, 24/7 infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate courageously. We will redefine the capability of web services to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor is leading-edge.