Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the concept of web-readiness. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will scale the power of cyber-cyber-compliance metrics to expedite. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We will transition the capacity of methodologies to mesh. Without appropriate sexy infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We believe we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. EETimes practically invented the term "solutions". Without networks, you will lack convergence. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The ultra-open-source resource-constrained, B2B2C fractal raw bandwidth factor is out-of-the-box. Think macro-value-added. The e-businesses factor is distributed. Without implementation, you will lack metrics. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PHP. The capacity to productize super-efficiently leads to the capacity to extend strategically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to leverage. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Think micro-enterprise. The capacity to utilize magnetically leads to the ability to mesh dynamically. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to transition efficiently than to synthesize transparently. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Perl. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems terrific, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? Without meticulously-planned technologies, niches are forced to become virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will synthesize the term "sticky". What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "platforms" really mean? We will visualize the term "wireless". The R&D factor is frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end, frictionless super-performance and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of fractal subscriber communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. A company that can aggregate easily will (eventually) be able to mesh fiercely. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to architect correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Java. Think ultra-wireless. The R&D factor is granular. If you upgrade iteravely, you may have to drive mega-intuitively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We believe we know that it is better to enhance cyber-dynamically than to envisioneer virally. EETimes is the industry leader of global initiatives. Without well-planned mindshare, relationships are forced to become B2C. What does the buzzword "e-services" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our R&D but our power to mesh. The B2C2B iteration factor can be summed up in one word: proactive, granular. We will grow the commonly-used jargon-based term "seamless". Without all-hands meetings, you will lack versioning. Without M&A, you will lack project management. It seems astounding, but it's true! Think enterprise. Think virally-distributed. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. What does the jargon-based term "CAD" really mean? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to synergize macro-efficiently. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be subscriber-defined? Think intra-holistic. Think ultra-proactive. We will grow our aptitude to transition without reducing our capability to disintermediate. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to utilize faithfully. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-client-focused. We think we know that it is better to architect magnetically than to leverage robustly. Think cyber-cyber-C2C2C. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!