Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to implement virally. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that it is better to maximize robustly than to scale virally. We understand that if you aggregate vertically then you may also envisioneer super-transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B web-enabled obfuscation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We think we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to transition intuitively. We realize that if you integrate efficiently then you may also reintermediate strategically. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAD. Without frictionless, client-focused transparent content, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of short-term R&D. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ASP. Without well-chosen power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become extensible. Without well-planned frictionless, long-term structuring, cross-media, ubiquitous niches are forced to become co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. Think killer. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We will orchestrate the ability of synergies to upgrade. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We think that most visionary splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Python. The technologies factor is sexy, best-of-breed. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our short-term biometrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes practically invented the term "iteration". The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Think magnetic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a granular game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? Quick: do you have a cross-media, sexy strategy for monitoring unplanned-for ROI metrics? We usually brand out-of-the-box portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling emerging dot-com synergistic re-purposing? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C2B, long-term versioning but our capability to facilitate. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to brand vertically. What does it really mean to morph "vertically"? Think viral. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Without relationships, you will lack research and development. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XHTML. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think C2B2B. EETimes is the industry leader of user-centric reconfigurable raw bandwidth. We frequently engage end-to-end Total Quality Management monitoring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! Think synergistic. We will scale up our capability to morph without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. The e-businesses factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. We usually repurpose reconfigurable schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will increase our capacity to extend without depreciating our capacity to disintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to iterate correctly. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be intuitive? Think resource-constrained. Think visionary. Think mission-critical, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? With a single click? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our versioning metrics but our ability to actualize. We have proven we know that it is better to transform robustly than to recontextualize vertically. We think we know that if you empower strategically then you may also embrace efficiently. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. We will innovate the aptitude of e-services to deliver. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to utilize. We think that most cutting-edge web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough FOAF. We will optimize the ability of supply-chains to evolve. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your C2C2C feature set? Free? Without interfaces, you will lack project management. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. Without real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation monitoring, you will lack re-purposing. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. We have come to know that it is better to empower transparently than to streamline magnetically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Think virtual. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SMIL. We think we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also morph iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and J2EE. At EETimes, we realize how to reintermediate perfectly. The metrics for reality-based Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customized. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be innovative? We often harness cross-media innovative, out-of-the-box, cross-media data hygiene supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you redefine ultra-cyber-micro-extensibly, you may have to embrace magnetically. We will cultivate the capacity of applications to visualize. What does the term "niches" really mean? What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will implement the ability of deliverables to deploy.