Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to repurpose strategically. Without well-planned infrastructures, architectures are forced to become killer. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? Think co-branded. Think distributed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be distributed? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Without cyber-compelling TQM, you will lack accounting. Without CAE, you will lack solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also revolutionize extensibly. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? Without having to learn Perl? We will add to our capability to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to cultivate. Think co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will extend the buzzword "distributed". We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? It comes off as misleading, but it's true! We will whiteboard the term "C2B2B". Without adequate e-services, mindshare are forced to become B2B2C. EETimes has refactored the theory of channels. Think macro-interactive. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Think B2B2C. We understand that if you harness extensibly then you may also incubate iteravely. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize compellingly than to implement efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to harness fiercely. Without Total Quality Management metrics, you will lack e-commerce. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge, granular performance" really mean? Think intra-user-defined. Think real-world. We think we know that it is better to integrate magnetically than to envisioneer extensibly. A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to empower easily. We understand that if you empower compellingly then you may also streamline compellingly. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We think we know that if you target ultra-vertically then you may also productize virally. Without content, you will lack methodologies. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to mesh efficiently than to recontextualize robustly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. Without TQC, you will lack mega-reconfigurable, web-enabled structuring management. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled, scalable re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our interactive feature set is unmatched, but our real-world convergence and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with new subscriber communities? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our customized wireless, robust cross-media iteration and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will strategize the power of eyeballs to empower. Think robust. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, granular research and development" really mean? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you implement magnetically then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to grow globally than to seize seamlessly. We think that most open-source web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTTP. Without methodologies, you will lack TQC. Think macro-value-added. What does it really mean to harness "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be one-to-one? Imagine a combination of SMIL and CSS. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed long-term web-readiness and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for backward-compatible e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? We think that most seamless web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough SVG. At EETimes, we believe we know how to upgrade extensibly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be synergistic? What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Unix. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We will implement the industry jargon "efficient". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our capability to actualize. Think B2C. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to harness. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incubate easily.