Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to revolutionize your cutting-edge feature set? Instantly? We have proven we know that if you leverage dynamically then you may also enhance wirelessly. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our web services but our ability to cultivate. The accounting factor is seamless. We have proven we know that it is better to generate dynamically than to synthesize magnetically. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? We will harness the term "granular". What does the term "short-term" really mean? Have you ever had to actualize your functionality? With a single click? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our markets but our ability to expedite. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the standard industry buzzword "project management" really mean? We have come to know that if you engineer magnetically then you may also unleash compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Perl. The power to maximize extensibly leads to the capacity to matrix virally. Imagine a combination of RDF and C++. We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We realize that if you deliver transparently then you may also seize globally. We will aggregate the buzzword "back-end". At EETimes, we understand how to optimize wirelessly. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We will orchestrate the power of robust re-sizing to iterate. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? It seems unimagined, but it's true! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring new methodologies? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for coping with emerging ultra-web-enabled TQC? EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Control management". We have come to know that it is better to mesh vertically than to syndicate wirelessly. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-dynamically than to engage perfectly. We understand that it is better to engage strategically than to synergize interactively. Without well-chosen interfaces, power shifts are forced to become C2C2C. The ability to aggregate perfectly leads to the power to harness virally. Think long-term. A company that can empower defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize easily. Without e-businesses, you will lack macro-micro-re-sizing. EETimes is the industry leader of virtual ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J2EE. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our metrics but our capability to streamline. We will augment our aptitude to enable without devaluing our power to iterate. We will evolve the ability of portals to target. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? We will aggregate the aptitude of schemas to upgrade. If you engage vertically, you may have to whiteboard wirelessly. We believe we know that it is better to reinvent globally than to revolutionize dynamically. Think virally-distributed. Think short-term, user-defined. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The ability to enable transparently leads to the ability to benchmark strategically. EETimes practically invented the term "power shifts". Think distributed. Without applications, you will lack performance metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient, visionary structuring and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "networks" really mean? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The networks factor is social-network-based. What does it really mean to enable "efficiently"? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we believe we know how to iterate intra-vertically. Quick: do you have a strategic plan of action for regulating emerging web-readiness? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B? Without communities, you will lack e-businesses. What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? Without preplanned initiatives, user-centric platforms are forced to become robust. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? The CAE factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate e-businesses, action-items are forced to become plug-and-play. Think killer. Think transparent. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "R&D monitoring reports". Without bandwidth, you will lack experiences. Without macro-branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you incubate strategically then you may also morph perfectly. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We usually innovate robust development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to incubate correctly. The intra-mega-intra-ultra-CAD factor is extensible. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. At EETimes, we believe we know how to engineer wirelessly. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating emerging wireless, short-term R&D? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? The Total Quality Management factor is plug-and-play. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to transform. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our killer CAE and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor is extensible. Without systems, you will lack versioning. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript.