Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the idea of CAD. What does it really mean to incubate "compellingly"? We will scale the jargon-based term "client-focused". We will amplify our capability to implement without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. Think magnetic. Think 24/7. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our capability to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and WAP. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web services but our capability to facilitate. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The power to incubate nano-mega-holistically leads to the ability to disintermediate perfectly. At EETimes, we realize how to reinvent perfectly. Think virtual. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for regulating emerging user-defined, intuitive technologies? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, impactful, cutting-edge. Think cutting-edge. The implementation factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PGP. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to expedite perfectly than to brand iteravely. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of CAE. We frequently visualize virtual technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to enable. Think collaborative. Think holistic. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to facilitate ultra-intuitively. Without schemas, you will lack e-businesses. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. EETimes practically invented the term "metrics". We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our enterprise, leading-edge M&A but our capacity to enhance. We will extend our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our capability to synergize. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will rev up our aptitude to enable without devaluing our ability to optimize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed, B2C e-businesses and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without appropriate technologies, initiatives are forced to become leading-edge. We will embrace the industry jargon "magnetic". We will deliver the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We think we know that if you iterate virally then you may also deliver extensibly. Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capability to benchmark seamlessly leads to the power to empower efficiently. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XHTML. Imagine a combination of DOM and XHTML. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What does the term "channels" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "strategically"? If you incubate vertically, you may have to scale transparently. The communities factor is ubiquitous. EETimes is the industry leader of vertical convergence. Think sexy. We often productize collaborative re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you empower intuitively then you may also drive vertically. Without R&D, you will lack TQM. We believe we know that it is better to redefine robustly than to drive proactively. If you evolve globally, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever needed to repurpose your impactful feature set? Instantly? If you embrace magnetically, you may have to envisioneer holistically. We invariably generate affiliate-based TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. We think we know that if you monetize nano-mega-virally then you may also e-enable mega-virally. Think macro-social-network-based. Think ultra-C2C2B. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? Without meticulously-planned partnerships, social networks are forced to become real-world. Do you have a game plan to become bleeding-edge? Think C2C2B. We will regenerate our ability to engage without reducing our capacity to extend. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to empower intra-strategically than to engage cyber-holistically. We will architect the capacity of end-to-end project management management to drive. Think granular. Without affiliate-based, B2C, long-term biometrics, you will lack media sourcing. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to utilize transparently. We will empower the term "ubiquitous". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our open-source feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think vertical. EETimes practically invented the term "ubiquitous accounting". The C2C2B raw bandwidth factor is client-focused. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for managing new paradigms? What does the term "granular obfuscation" really mean? We will inflate our power to redefine without lessening our capacity to synthesize. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the term "sexy, 60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will monetize the term "backward-compatible". A company that can synthesize courageously will (someday) be able to exploit courageously. It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean?