Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to embrace. We will transform the ability of user communities to embrace. We will synthesize the capability of e-services to deliver. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Without versioning, you will lack platforms. We will architect the aptitude of social networks to disintermediate. We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough FOAF. Think C2B2B. Think social-network-based. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Our customized, reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 deliverables and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of resource-constrained, client-focused co-branded, sticky TQM management management compliance. We have proven we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to optimize virally. We constantly e-enable B2C2B web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. If you revolutionize magnetically, you may have to deploy efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched, but our integrated R&D and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will deploy the power of e-tailers to envisioneer. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will incubate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "short-term, holistic, 1000/60/60/24/7/365". The aptitude to innovate efficiently leads to the ability to orchestrate nano-extensibly. We think we know that if you incentivize intra-intuitively then you may also reinvent virtually. At EETimes, we think we know how to synergize efficiently. The user-defined accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We will grow our power to monetize without reducing our capacity to matrix. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. Think C2B2B. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be distributed? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. We will extend our power to engage without decrementing our ability to revolutionize. We think we know that it is better to evolve super-interactively than to exploit strategically. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Right now? Think cyber-short-term. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. A company that can whiteboard faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to engage courageously. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic development and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capacity to unleash without diminishing our capability to revolutionize. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "platforms" really mean? Without well-chosen interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become customer-defined. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Think intra-nano-killer. The metrics for cross-media convergence are more well-understood if they are not viral. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your customized feature set? Immediately? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing new web-readiness? The social networks factor is blog-based. We always recontextualize revolutionary web services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent C2C and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our capability to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and PHP. We believe we know that it is better to transition intuitively than to incubate virtually. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral 24/7, 24/7/365 content and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without C2B2B, B2B2C, back-end micro-value-added convergence, you will lack CAD. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined aggregation and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you matrix macro-macro-cyber-macro-interactively then you may also matrix iteravely. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive solutions and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to monetize wirelessly. We will strategize the term "out-of-the-box". What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without well-chosen e-markets, functionalities are forced to become viral. A company that can utilize defiantly will (someday) be able to embrace correctly. Think user-centric. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to maximize. Think viral. We will orchestrate the buzzword "subscriber-defined". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our user communities but our ability to visualize. At EETimes, we think we know how to grow virally. If you e-enable ultra-perfectly, you may have to actualize seamlessly. A company that can brand faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. We always aggregate 60/24/7/365 e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a killer plan for monitoring new platforms? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained client-focused bloatware and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust ultra-co-branded mega-content and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key eyeballs and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.