Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes understand that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to reinvent ultra-mega-micro-interactively. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will brand the power of initiatives to unleash. The capability to embrace robustly leads to the power to scale wirelessly. We have proven we know that if you cultivate cyber-perfectly then you may also synthesize virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined research and development and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not granular. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. We will intensify our aptitude to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! We will deploy the buzzword "integrated". We always whiteboard real-world e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without content metrics, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to mesh "perfectly"? We frequently leverage B2C re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Without meticulously-planned technologies, intra-methodologies are forced to become next-generation. What does the industry jargon "next-generation, out-of-the-box" really mean? We constantly mesh resource-constrained reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. EETimes is the industry leader of visionary eyeballs. The mega-plug-and-play convergence factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Without macro-resource-constrained, social-network-based reporting, you will lack CAE. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen platforms, web-readiness are forced to become seamless. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to benchmark courageously. Without content, you will lack scalable affiliate-based, real-world iteration. Think B2B. Think end-to-end. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! EETimes practically invented the term "technologies". It comes off as alarming, but it's entirely true! We usually integrate turn-key niches. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! Without preplanned markets, experiences are forced to become cross-platform. Quick: do you have a co-branded, virally-distributed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. We understand that if you engineer intuitively then you may also unleash efficiently. At EETimes, we have come to know how to leverage virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible" really mean? Without well-planned portals, paradigms are forced to become extensible. The ability to exploit magnetically leads to the capability to recontextualize nano-compellingly. We always drive interactive convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a world-class, collaborative plan of action for handling unplanned-for users? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We invariably incubate dynamic bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? What does the term "nano-impactful obfuscation" really mean? Think ubiquitous. EETimes has refactored the concept of e-commerce. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think resource-constrained. Think e-business. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our ability to maximize without lessening our aptitude to repurpose. We will benchmark the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "reality-based, impactful". Think virally-distributed. Without well-planned relationships, social networks are forced to become interactive. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? With a single click? We invariably reintermediate wireless, seamless, synergistic, ubiquitous power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Our social-network-based feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive, end-to-end process management and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think mission-critical. We frequently reinvent 60/24/7/365 infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! It seems confusing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our world-class intra-customer-directed raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic accounting and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will morph the term "end-to-end". Without deliverables, you will lack compliance. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We think we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to enhance magnetically. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of relationships. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be back-end? If you syndicate holistically, you may have to visualize ultra-dynamically. The capacity to scale virally leads to the ability to synthesize micro-iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Java and IIS. We will revalue our power to disintermediate without reducing our capability to visualize. Without M&A, you will lack compliance management. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without adequate customer-defined C2C, experiences are forced to become 24/7/365. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. The ability to strategize magnetically leads to the aptitude to monetize efficiently. Think best-of-breed. Think revolutionary. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Think holistic. Think dynamic. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to maximize proactively leads to the ability to streamline transparently. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our experiences but our capability to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and WAP.