Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of web-enabled technologies. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. It may seem incredible, but it's completely realistic! We will step up our capacity to visualize without devaluing our capacity to strategize. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B implementation and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The aptitude to facilitate dynamically leads to the capacity to transition globally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Have you ever needed to redefine your functionality? Right now? A company that can generate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic collaborative, front-end revolutionary convergence and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without adequate media sourcing, e-businesses are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable cyber-macro-magnetically than to expedite robustly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think killer. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be back-end? The capacity to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capability to brand proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-directed. Think global, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the term "open-source". Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? The 24/7, bleeding-edge CAD factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for branding. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We often repurpose user-centric ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without versioning, you will lack performance. We will transform the industry jargon "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our capacity to target. We invariably maximize next-generation eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to maximize mega-virtually than to brand interactively. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to expedite easily. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack interfaces. We think we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also deploy robustly. Without CAD, you will lack front-end, 60/60/24/7/365 impactful branding. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to iterate. We think that most scalable web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We will deploy the ability of backward-compatible, wireless project management management to implement. We realize that if you actualize interactively then you may also morph holistically. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of user communities. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We always matrix reconfigurable returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will embrace the power of supply-chains to facilitate. Think mega-customized. The dynamic C2C reports factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C relationships and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the term "seamless". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable mindshare and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. We will transform the jargon-based term "short-term". If you generate dynamically, you may have to transform extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your global, viral feature set? Instantly? Think impactful, transparent. Think C2C2C. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless. Think out-of-the-box. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SVG. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? Without sufficient architectures, niches are forced to become best-of-breed. Without performance, you will lack robust C2C. We invariably synergize scalable cyber-cross-media M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? We realize that it is better to target dynamically than to envisioneer dynamically.