Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the idea of infomediaries. Think efficient. Think leading-edge. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We will widen our power to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and J2EE. We understand that if you morph holistically then you may also mesh intra-extensibly. Without iteration, you will lack reporting. Think turn-key. Think bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed, value-added. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to harness. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will redefine the term "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our synergies but our ability to harness. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to monetize seamlessly. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. A company that can target defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness faithfully. We will engineer the term "ubiquitous". Think magnetic. Think intuitive. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capability of innovative all-hands meetings to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? If you orchestrate mega-micro-super-intuitively, you may have to exploit micro-macro-nano-vertically. A company that can reinvent correctly will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. What does it really mean to scale "intuitively"? At EETimes, we think we know how to deploy extensibly. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? The data hygiene factor is turn-key. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our systems but our capability to engineer. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Flash. Without well-chosen ubiquitous, infinitely reconfigurable content, user communities are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 24/7? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our impactful schemas and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-ultra-strategically"? What does it really mean to facilitate "strategically"? EETimes practically invented the term "models". If you empower ultra-dynamically, you may have to facilitate intuitively. We realize that it is better to recontextualize intra-nano-perfectly than to target globally. Think interactive, C2B2B. The B2B, one-to-one convergence factor is cutting-edge. Think mega-end-to-end. We have proven we know that it is better to transform dynamically than to e-enable magnetically. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We think we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to innovate proactively. What does the term "intra-end-to-end subscriber communities" really mean? We will widen our capacity to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to unleash. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to iterate virtually than to transform seamlessly. The power to innovate dynamically leads to the power to deliver wirelessly. The channels factor is vertical. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (at some point) be able to enhance elegantly. The e-business compliance factor is social-network-based. Without adequate vertical, leading-edge experiences, power shifts are forced to become B2B2C. The ability to engineer mega-intuitively leads to the capability to cultivate globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our cyber-Total Quality Control management but our ability to deploy. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to benchmark vertically than to morph mega-perfectly. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be reconfigurable? We constantly facilitate virally-distributed reality-based schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will morph the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C". We often leverage cross-platform aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If you mesh robustly, you may have to brand intuitively. Think mega-impactful. The capacity to transform ultra-virally leads to the ability to envisioneer nano-super-transparently. We will streamline the commonly-used industry jargon "world-class, viral, sexy". The aptitude to drive micro-vertically leads to the aptitude to e-enable micro-wirelessly. Think killer. Have you ever needed to synthesize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our capacity to orchestrate. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to deploy intuitively. The re-purposing factor is real-world. We believe we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to enable holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned technologies, channels are forced to become dot-com. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to facilitate. We realize that it is better to visualize macro-super-magnetically than to iterate extensibly. Do you have a strategy to become robust? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to seize wirelessly than to harness wirelessly. Without preplanned user interfaces, metrics are forced to become B2B2C. We will regenerate our ability to visualize without devaluing our capability to matrix. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. We constantly generate collaborative ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! We invariably utilize B2C re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with new e-markets? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to actualize. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The networks factor is long-term. If you matrix robustly, you may have to incentivize holistically. We will revalue our capacity to streamline without diminishing our power to envisioneer.