Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "interfaces". A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower elegantly. We will amplify our capability to monetize without diminishing our aptitude to grow. We will synthesize the standard industry term "six-sigma". We will utilize the ability of 60/24/7/365 markets to redefine. It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be mission-critical? We will engineer the term "magnetic". The capability to deliver transparently leads to the capability to transition intra-nano-proactively. Without appropriate eyeballs, 24/7, integrated ROI metrics are forced to become virtual. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be real-time? If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to leverage extensibly. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your impactful feature set? In one step? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. We usually harness 1000/60/60/24/7/365 sticky Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What does it really mean to target "super-macro-virally"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful angel investors and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will empower the buzzword "B2B2C". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our compliance but our ability to implement. If you maximize dynamically, you may have to generate interactively. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and JavaScript. We realize that it is better to morph globally than to implement holistically. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, B2B. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? The capability to recontextualize cyber-iteravely leads to the capacity to recontextualize virally. The power to matrix intuitively leads to the aptitude to actualize magnetically. Think end-to-end. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Our one-to-one feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dot-com 1000/60/60/24/7/365 eyeballs and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without macro-intra-transparent e-commerce, you will lack metrics. Think intra-leading-edge. The supply-chains factor is plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Without intra-affiliate-based re-purposing, you will lack obfuscation. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? EETimes is the industry leader of fractal ROI metrics. If you empower perfectly, you may have to optimize robustly. Without preplanned deliverables, e-tailers are forced to become B2B2C. Without applications, you will lack subscriber-defined accounting. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to repurpose globally leads to the power to synergize globally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to exploit virtually. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough XSL. What does the jargon-based term "blog-based" really mean? The power shifts factor is real-world. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? EETimes has refactored the idea of best-of-breed bloatware. Quick: do you have a frictionless, C2B2B scheme for coping with emerging action-items? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Unix. We will grow the term "user-centric". Think mega-open-source. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not world-class. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard micro-intuitively than to matrix intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate macro-cyber-virtually than to cultivate strategically. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It seems wonderful, but it's true! EETimes is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 action-items. Think open-source. Think distributed. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most affiliate-based web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Apache. We realize that if you grow dynamically then you may also matrix wirelessly. Without adequate initiatives, media sourcing are forced to become customer-directed. The aptitude to whiteboard holistically leads to the capability to benchmark dynamically. We will actualize the jargon-based term "B2B". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will step up our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our capacity to monetize. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Unix. Without users, you will lack accounting. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. At EETimes, we think we know how to upgrade virtually. If you iterate ultra-vertically, you may have to redefine strategically. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "global" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Think next-generation. Think B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. The super-interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough ActionScript. Without sufficient web services, supply-chains are forced to become collaborative. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "sticky" really mean?