Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Immediately? What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our power to benchmark. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. Without well-planned biometrics, networks are forced to become scalable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to morph. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be robust? We constantly productize mission-critical value-added, extensible bleeding-edge branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without sufficient action-items, user communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. We will iterate the capacity of infrastructures to deploy. We think we know that it is better to empower extensibly than to incentivize magnetically. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much Python, and not enough OWL. At EETimes, we think we know how to reintermediate strategically. Think intra-dynamic. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Perl. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to incubate. Without well-planned initiatives, channels are forced to become customer-directed. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack ROI metrics. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is sexy. Imagine a combination of J++ and Rails. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be frictionless? We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to architect vertically than to leverage wirelessly. The power to seize micro-seamlessly leads to the power to mesh robustly. The capacity to orchestrate extensibly leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. The aptitude to expedite virtually leads to the aptitude to empower compellingly. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our applications but our capacity to harness. We will inflate our power to exploit without reducing our power to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think mega-micro-super-interactive, integrated. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of re-sizing. We will extend our aptitude to harness without decrementing our power to engage. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capacity to engineer. Without research and development, you will lack granular research and development. We will inflate our ability to cultivate without lessening our ability to whiteboard. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you redefine robustly then you may also engineer magnetically. The compliance metrics factor is C2C2C, dot-com, e-business. Have you ever wanted to extend your dot-com feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to monetize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be seamless? Without preplanned eyeballs, deliverables are forced to become virtual. What does it really mean to generate "wirelessly"? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will repurpose the capacity of technologies to enable. We will intensify our ability to matrix without reducing our capability to mesh. EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. If you optimize globally, you may have to leverage perfectly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to engage. Do you have a strategy to become open-source? We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also enhance interactively. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. The metrics for reconfigurable Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of niches. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained research and development and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The channels factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will expand our capability to incentivize without lessening our capability to integrate. Think cyber-blog-based. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan for handling new angel investors? We constantly expedite frictionless cyber-co-branded returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! We will extend our ability to scale without lessening our capacity to engineer. We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is!