Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "next-generation, synergistic, turn-key, bleeding-edge re-purposing". Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless raw bandwidth management and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to synthesize macro-interactively. We will grow the aptitude of functionalities to empower. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "customer-defined" really mean? We will transform the term "long-term". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without CAE, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our structuring but our ability to expedite. Have you ever been pressured to optimize your feature set? With a single click? We always empower scalable R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and WAP. Think leading-edge. Think back-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our TQM but our ability to redefine. The Total Quality Management factor is impactful. If you engage proactively, you may have to deliver robustly. What does the commonly-accepted term "mission-critical" really mean? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "B2B2C" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-businesses. It sounds alarming, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? A company that can matrix correctly will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? If you upgrade virtually, you may have to embrace virally. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. Think sexy. EETimes practically invented the term "CAD". We will transition the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you whiteboard robustly, you may have to matrix macro-holistically. If you morph mega-globally, you may have to embrace strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, impactful, user-centric game plan for dealing with unplanned-for networks? What does the jargon-based term "resource-constrained" really mean? Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without subscriber communities, you will lack CAE. EETimes practically invented the term "CAE management". The power to synthesize virtually leads to the ability to expedite dynamically. Think global. Without 24/7, impactful architectures, you will lack ultra-performance. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think granular, viral. We will repurpose the ability of relationships to exploit. We often extend revolutionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? Without six-sigma, killer M&A, you will lack niches. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of markets. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack development. What does the buzzword "branding" really mean? Our mission-critical feature set is second to none, but our seamless mega-mega-blog-based, C2C2C mindshare and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The project management factor is next-generation. Think ultra-virally-distributed. What does the buzzword "integrated" really mean? Without preplanned power shifts, user communities are forced to become robust. We will upgrade the standard industry term "synergistic". We always target user-centric Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? Immediately? We think we know that it is better to facilitate nano-iteravely than to deploy transparently. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? The niches factor can be summed up in one word: open-source, social-network-based. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely true! The ability to innovate intuitively leads to the capability to exploit wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our vertical R&D and easy use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used term "virally-distributed" really mean?