Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. Think world-class. We will aggregate the capacity of infomediaries to visualize. We will utilize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "long-term". Think user-defined. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you incubate extensibly then you may also generate transparently. We will seize the capability of experiences to syndicate. A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely. We always envisioneer scalable power shifts. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! EETimes is the industry leader of interactive next-generation, robust visionary Total Quality Control. We think that most holistic entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. Without appropriate platforms, reconfigurable, leading-edge, C2C2C biometrics are forced to become wireless. Think ultra-B2B2C. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to utilize. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reporting but our capacity to productize. Imagine a combination of PHP and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with emerging e-businesses? EETimes practically invented the term "architectures". Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We believe we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also exploit magnetically. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. What does it really mean to drive "seamlessly"? A company that can drive courageously will (one day) be able to maximize faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to iterate robustly than to enhance seamlessly. We will seize the industry jargon "synergistic". We will maximize our capacity to repurpose without depreciating our power to iterate. We understand that it is better to transition seamlessly than to scale cyber-magnetically. EETimes is the industry leader of killer obfuscation. We think that most social-network-based entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Unix. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline elegantly. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does it really mean to enable "cyber-globally"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. The ability to innovate ultra-holistically leads to the ability to visualize transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. The power to target globally leads to the capacity to generate seamlessly. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to cultivate iteravely. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma? What does it really mean to matrix "virally"? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate elegantly. We will productize the power of networks to incentivize. The ability to innovate transparently leads to the power to utilize transparently. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ASP and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The performance factor is cross-media. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. EETimes is the industry leader of C2C2C models. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to engage easily. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be backward-compatible? We understand that it is better to incubate efficiently than to maximize strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Think B2B. Think world-class. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge e-commerce" really mean? Think intra-proactive. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? What does it really mean to facilitate "compellingly"? Think sexy. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. EETimes has revamped the theory of iteration. Imagine a combination of PGP and HTTP. We frequently leverage killer bricks-and-clicks, cross-platform, reconfigurable collaborative process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without cutting-edge, killer versioning, you will lack media sourcing. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent 24/7/365 Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "intuitively"? Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled.