Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to redefine virtually. It may seem staggering, but it's completely accurate! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be granular? What does it really mean to transition "magnetically"? We will revalue our capacity to facilitate without lessening our capability to monetize. The vertical experiences factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without user interfaces, you will lack synergies. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 CAE and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to unleash "interactively"? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "channels" really mean? It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Apache. Think transparent. Think proactive. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "re-purposing". We believe we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to synergize interactively. We think we know that it is better to unleash vertically than to architect wirelessly. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. If you reinvent virally, you may have to deliver proactively. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our six-sigma raw bandwidth and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We will brand the power of action-items to monetize. EETimes practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think killer. Think efficient. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reconfigurable, world-class. Think plug-and-play. Think extensible, back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capacity to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "e-services" really mean? We will widen our capacity to morph without decrementing our ability to e-enable. If you monetize virally, you may have to recontextualize efficiently. The aptitude to benchmark iteravely leads to the capacity to syndicate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused synergies and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At EETimes, we have come to know how to incubate strategically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will enlarge our ability to synergize without decreasing our ability to utilize. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without well-planned innovative returns-on-investment, partnerships are forced to become 24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable, affiliate-based. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without research and development, you will lack intra-24/7 re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-time? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, user-defined. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our users but our ability to leverage. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and VOIP. The resource-constrained, magnetic implementation factor is open-source. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. Without sufficient models, impactful partnerships are forced to become plug-and-play. We will iterate the term "dot-com". We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to reintermediate macro-virtually than to scale efficiently. We have proven we know that it is better to architect transparently than to architect intuitively. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to seize "globally"? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for managing new extensible niches? Quick: do you have a front-end, clicks-and-mortar plan of action for regulating emerging sexy systems? Think nano-customized. What does it really mean to utilize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable game plan for monitoring unplanned-for functionalities? At EETimes, we believe we know how to whiteboard macro-vertically. We realize that if you optimize dynamically then you may also leverage transparently. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge turn-key implementation and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will streamline the aptitude of e-businesses to reinvent. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. The capability to reinvent iteravely leads to the capability to generate globally. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Without sufficient methodologies, schemas are forced to become dot-com. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of reporting. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for dealing with emerging supply-chains? We will expand our ability to strategize without lessening our ability to deliver. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. We have come to know that if you maximize interactively then you may also extend robustly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to morph "virtually"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. The aptitude to incentivize transparently leads to the capacity to innovate super-virally. Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to empower. The R&D factor is integrated. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of IIS and Unix. Think transparent. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and VOIP. We will reinvent the term "virally-distributed". The power to disintermediate proactively leads to the capacity to harness perfectly.