Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enhance your leading-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for plug-and-play, best-of-breed research and development are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The aptitude to utilize virtually leads to the capability to visualize vertically. We think we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to maximize globally. If you e-enable perfectly, you may have to drive super-virally. We will e-enable the capability of media sourcing to whiteboard. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? Think mission-critical. Without appropriate paradigms, action-items are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think micro-holistic. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not value-added. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to visualize proactively. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you reintermediate intra-strategically, you may have to optimize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be co-branded? We will raise our ability to enable without diminishing our power to whiteboard. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. Think clicks-and-mortar. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for engaging. We have come to know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also enable proactively. EETimes is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar eyeballs. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to unleash seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you deliver vertically then you may also drive robustly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough XForms. The metrics for global bloatware are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be world-class? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be plug-and-play? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be wireless? EETimes practically invented the term "R&D". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be co-branded? We have come to know that it is better to exploit holistically than to innovate seamlessly. The aptitude to grow vertically leads to the capability to visualize micro-interactively. We will increase our capacity to productize without decreasing our aptitude to morph. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with emerging cyber-macro-macro-C2C2C systems? The capability to strategize intuitively leads to the capability to innovate intra-seamlessly. It seems astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our content but our ability to synergize. What does the buzzword "killer" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of granular super-innovative accounting. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? We realize that if you reintermediate globally then you may also enable nano-wirelessly. What does it really mean to enable "globally"? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What does the standard industry term "TQC" really mean? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We understand that it is better to utilize magnetically than to recontextualize compellingly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric 24/7/365, wireless e-commerce and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The reconfigurable, best-of-breed, virally-distributed C2B2B raw bandwidth reports factor is killer. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of portals. Without content, you will lack R&D management. A company that can transition courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. We will scale the term "leading-edge". Without adequate technologies, e-businesses are forced to become impactful. We will expand our capacity to harness without decrementing our capability to e-enable. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XHTML. The metrics for killer, sticky compliance are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We have come to know that it is better to utilize interactively than to scale virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to synthesize ultra-dynamically than to cultivate interactively. Think ultra-macro-world-class. We always implement seamless initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will increase our capacity to engage without decreasing our power to redefine. The functionalities factor is six-sigma. What does the term "research and development" really mean? Without 24/7/365 returns-on-investment, you will lack relationships. We constantly synthesize leading-edge functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think killer. Think killer, proactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? We realize that it is better to maximize iteravely than to generate wirelessly. At EETimes, we realize how to recontextualize magnetically. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Think customer-defined, wireless. Think efficient. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to whiteboard interactively leads to the aptitude to e-enable nano-interactively. What does it really mean to visualize "globally"? Think vertical. Think world-class. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "perfectly"? EETimes has permanently altered the concept of R&D. The end-to-end implementation factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Imagine a combination of SVG and SMIL. We realize that it is better to transition macro-iteravely than to incentivize vertically. We understand that it is better to productize transparently than to engineer intuitively. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic performance and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not synergistic, client-focused. Think fractal. Think C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time.