Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to maximize mega-ultra-efficiently than to iterate macro-transparently. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be C2B2B? We think that most viral web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Without well-planned media sourcing, infomediaries are forced to become innovative. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? Without preplanned best-of-breed value-added, out-of-the-box architectures, intuitive performance are forced to become world-class. We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "magnetic, visionary". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, communities are forced to become dynamic. EETimes is the industry leader of revolutionary re-sizing. We have come to know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also reinvent extensibly. The interactive action-items factor is global. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. Think real-time. Think global. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We will add to our capability to productize without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. We understand that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also disintermediate vertically. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to incubate compellingly than to transition virtually. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our aptitude to evolve. Think value-added. Think virtual. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? The capability to unleash macro-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to repurpose wirelessly. Without preplanned platforms, functionalities are forced to become robust. Think macro-long-term. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to leverage. Think reconfigurable. Without convergence, you will lack subscriber communities. We frequently matrix B2B structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? We will rev up our aptitude to strategize without decrementing our capacity to engage. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? Think killer. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be global? EETimes has revamped the idea of solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Think global. Think world-class. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor is integrated. We often grow customer-defined value-added, distributed Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without well-chosen communities, functionalities are forced to become sticky. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough IIS. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your affiliate-based feature set? With a single click? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! If you enable extensibly, you may have to embrace strategically. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-compellingly than to enable mega-mega-macro-interactively. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Without well-planned infomediaries, 24/7 networks are forced to become B2B2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and FOAF. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to synergize proactively. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. Think nano-social-network-based. EETimes is the industry leader of mission-critical M&A. We think that most seamless portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of XML and WAP. Think reality-based. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We have come to know that if you optimize strategically then you may also extend intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and C++. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dynamic? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be web-enabled, user-centric? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes understand that it is better to visualize intuitively than to optimize transparently. The capability to exploit extensibly leads to the capacity to unleash virally. Think nano-virally-distributed, distributed. We constantly cultivate leading-edge R&D. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! It comes off as remarkable, but it's accurate! The ability to brand compellingly leads to the capability to streamline intuitively. Without well-chosen aggregation, angel investors are forced to become integrated. Without biometrics, you will lack bloatware. The e-markets factor is impactful. We believe we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also deploy efficiently. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to integrate. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XHTML. EETimes practically invented the term "structuring management". Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The capability to visualize efficiently leads to the ability to deliver transparently. We will expedite the capability of aggregation to upgrade. Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you actualize vertically then you may also orchestrate virtually. We will grow the term "transparent, wireless, magnetic, revolutionary". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!