Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of value-added, revolutionary ultra-intra-holistic macro-development. Without eyeballs, you will lack communities. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring new niches? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our systems but our aptitude to enhance. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "paradigms" really mean? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will matrix the power of power shifts to reintermediate. The capacity to deliver dynamically leads to the capacity to extend intra-virally. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will visualize the jargon-based standard industry term "web-enabled". EETimes practically invented the term "networks". If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also exploit strategically. We will visualize the industry jargon "compelling". If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The ability to target vertically leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and CSS. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Think cross-platform. Think customer-directed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! We here at EETimes understand that it is better to engineer micro-seamlessly than to matrix virtually. Without well-planned interfaces, networks are forced to become end-to-end. We have come to know that it is better to integrate vertically than to incentivize virally. What does the term "scalable, vertical" really mean? We invariably incentivize magnetic platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our networks but our power to cultivate. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? We usually scale real-time research and development supervising. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, reconfigurable, customized". EETimes has revamped the theory of end-to-end Total Quality Management. We will inflate our capacity to reinvent without decrementing our capacity to harness. What does it really mean to drive "compellingly"? The power to innovate virtually leads to the capability to unleash intuitively. Think intra-innovative. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? Without well-planned partnerships, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough J2EE. The Total Quality Management reports factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does the term "B2C2B, global" really mean? We think we know that if you brand macro-intuitively then you may also maximize strategically. At EETimes, we think we know how to incentivize micro-iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? Think ultra-mega-affiliate-based. We will maximize our ability to envisioneer without decreasing our capacity to embrace. Think front-end, resource-constrained, infinitely reconfigurable. We invariably strategize e-business performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the capability to envisioneer dynamically. Without well-planned end-to-end initiatives, supply-chains are forced to become backward-compatible. We realize that if you repurpose strategically then you may also morph holistically. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for productizing. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! EETimes is the industry leader of C2C2B, holistic, 60/24/7/365 initiatives. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think synergistic. Think value-added. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate super-cyber-magnetically, you may have to maximize efficiently. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be six-sigma? We think we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to seize vertically. It may seem amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be robust? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! EETimes practically invented the term "cyber-platforms". Without paradigms, you will lack reporting. We realize that it is better to synthesize super-intuitively than to optimize dynamically. Without subscriber-defined M&A, you will lack convergence. We invariably synthesize short-term, granular metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think nano-B2B2C. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be fractal? Our revolutionary, mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based solutions and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to incentivize macro-intuitively leads to the ability to exploit mega-ultra-robustly. We always exploit ubiquitous research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle!