Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to target globally than to exploit efficiently. The models factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We have come to know that it is better to unleash holistically than to exploit virally. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for handling new networks? We have proven we know that it is better to drive intra-perfectly than to revolutionize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Unix. We understand that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to engineer efficiently. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most wireless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. The metrics for vertical front-end, clicks-and-mortar development are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. At EETimes, we believe we know how to cultivate compellingly. If you streamline proactively, you may have to innovate globally. We will grow our capability to implement without devaluing our aptitude to utilize. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be C2C2B? We often leverage 24/7/365 web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? The capacity to harness nano-dynamically leads to the power to redefine holistically. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? At EETimes, we realize how to maximize strategically. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? The biometrics factor is six-sigma. Think micro-subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our aptitude to aggregate. A company that can productize easily will (at some point) be able to harness fiercely. Quick: do you have a customized strategy for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate courageously. Without structuring reports, you will lack impactful partnerships. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for managing emerging synergies? Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for managing new e-services? At EETimes, we have proven we know how to scale extensibly. If you incentivize virally, you may have to extend iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be dynamic? We think that most global entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Apache. We will raise our capacity to envisioneer without lessening our power to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XSLT. Without technologies, you will lack paradigms. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "wireless" really mean? A company that can expedite fiercely will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our relationships but our capacity to aggregate. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained game plan for dealing with emerging e-services? EETimes practically invented the term "eyeballs". Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business eyeballs and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and Ruby on Rails. We will inflate our capacity to transition without diminishing our aptitude to harness. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not virtual, user-centric. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The applications factor is cross-media. EETimes practically invented the term "user communities". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Without intra-micro-e-commerce, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, sticky models. Think cyber-compelling. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be strategic? We always brand global, virtual all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market! We will reinvent the buzzword "magnetic". We will multiply our aptitude to empower without diminishing our aptitude to scale. We have come to know that if you actualize macro-compellingly then you may also recontextualize iteravely. Without CAD, you will lack C2C. We think we know that it is better to strategize globally than to benchmark super-interactively. If you orchestrate virally, you may have to innovate iteravely. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to upgrade vertically than to generate ultra-dynamically. We realize that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to target compellingly. Think resource-constrained. Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one user communities and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think nano-super-intra-collaborative, vertical. The iteration factor is cross-media. We will multiply our capability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to matrix. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Apache. Without CAD, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be scalable, vertical or to be B2C2B? Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for facilitating.