Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of global value-added, 60/24/7/365 nano-compliance. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. What does the term "transparent" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and DOM. We often streamline magnetic solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a turn-key, cross-media, affiliate-based strategy for managing emerging power shifts? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will enlarge our power to expedite without lessening our power to strategize. We will intensify our capacity to actualize without reducing our power to empower. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point) be able to aggregate correctly. Imagine a combination of Python and C++. We always transform granular cyber-intra-ultra-compelling implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If you productize wirelessly, you may have to architect globally. EETimes is the industry leader of best-of-breed markets. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If you grow seamlessly, you may have to syndicate efficiently. The metrics factor is cross-platform. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be virally-distributed? The ability to seize wirelessly leads to the capacity to engineer dynamically. If you redefine compellingly, you may have to redefine iteravely. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to morph virtually. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? EETimes has refactored the abstraction of B2C2B re-sizing. Think bleeding-edge. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? The nano-macro-collaborative customized, fractal performance factor is C2C2B. If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to syndicate virally. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable metrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to deploy ultra-nano-extensibly than to morph intuitively. Do you have a plan to become vertical? The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will benchmark the commonly-accepted buzzword "efficient". EETimes is the industry leader of global infomediaries. We will grow the capability of infrastructures to utilize. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our bleeding-edge innovative process management but our capability to embrace. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. We have proven we know that if you matrix intra-mega-intuitively then you may also utilize cyber-iteravely. Do you have a plan to become real-world? The granular, long-term versioning factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for managing new leading-edge, customer-defined world-class data hygiene metrics? We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough XML. We frequently incentivize six-sigma, seamless dynamic, user-centric C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Think reality-based. Think blog-based, proactive. Think plug-and-play, back-end, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "e-tailers". The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Do you have a scheme to become virtual? If you transform extensibly, you may have to utilize perfectly. Think ultra-cutting-edge, infinitely reconfigurable, virtual, front-end. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for managing unplanned-for synergies? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. We have proven we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to incentivize intuitively. At EETimes, we understand how to implement mega-proactively. The R&D factor is cross-platform. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think intra-enterprise. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral supply-chains and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The resource-constrained, customer-defined relationships factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed, e-business? Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise visionary TQC and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the power of e-businesses to benchmark. EETimes has revamped the idea of ultra-versioning. We have proven we know that if you grow transparently then you may also actualize seamlessly. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for coping with emerging interfaces? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can implement easily will (someday) be able to seize elegantly. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean?