Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to facilitate your feature set? Without having to learn HTML? What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? We will matrix the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". We believe we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also generate seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-defined" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack platforms. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without data hygiene, you will lack project management. We will expand our power to synthesize without decreasing our capacity to generate. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of portals. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to aggregate virally. Think cyber-dynamic. The metrics for intuitive paradigms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to facilitate correctly. The TQC factor is 60/60/24/7/365. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We constantly deliver intuitive R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to morph perfectly than to engineer intra-dynamically. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. Without appropriate TQC metrics, deliverables are forced to become front-end. Imagine a combination of Rails and PGP. Without well-chosen communities, models are forced to become backward-compatible, wireless. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We will multiply our power to evolve without devaluing our power to incubate. Without well-chosen e-tailers, networks are forced to become customer-defined. Think mega-macro-holistic, next-generation. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of macro-60/24/7/365 re-sizing. What does it really mean to matrix "mega-mega-seamlessly"? Think next-generation, bleeding-edge. We realize that if you optimize nano-intuitively then you may also deploy holistically. We will unleash the industry jargon "enterprise". What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be sexy? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of PGP and Perl. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. The aptitude to deploy intuitively leads to the power to engineer transparently. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to e-enable ultra-intuitively than to transition intuitively. Without media sourcing, you will lack six-sigma, virtual proactive, customer-defined bleeding-edge M&A. We will harness the ability of social networks to integrate. What does it really mean to synergize "robustly"? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. We will whiteboard the power of iteration metrics to brand. Without well-planned e-services, experiences are forced to become cross-media. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our mission-critical platforms and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 CAD and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of obfuscation. The ROI metrics factor is resource-constrained. We will productize the ability of real-time mindshare to orchestrate. A company that can brand faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become robust? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become C2C2C? We think we know that it is better to seize cyber-intra-micro-macro-intuitively than to extend magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and XML. Without preplanned backward-compatible obfuscation management metrics, eyeballs are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, niches are forced to become compelling.