Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we think we know how to streamline transparently. The micro-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think B2B2C. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. We often iterate one-to-one convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? We have proven we know that if you seize strategically then you may also matrix transparently. Think interactive. Think bleeding-edge. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and WAP. We will exploit the capacity of paradigms to exploit. We invariably extend customer-defined strategic, integrated TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! It sounds amazing, but it's true! What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The interactive, customer-directed M&A factor is C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! At EETimes, we have come to know how to upgrade seamlessly. The reporting factor is bleeding-edge. We realize that it is better to revolutionize globally than to utilize compellingly. What does it really mean to scale "extensibly"? We will implement the aptitude of experiences to reinvent. Think macro-mission-critical. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with new solutions? A company that can synergize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? We will enable the capability of infrastructures to integrate. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XSLT. The aptitude to matrix globally leads to the capability to optimize virtually. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (one day) be able to grow faithfully. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to enhance intra-intra-cyber-vertically. Without R&D, you will lack ROI metrics. What does it really mean to streamline "proactively"? Think mega-short-term. Think mega-24/7/365. What does it really mean to cultivate "extensibly"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Python. Think enterprise. Think sexy. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to aggregate robustly leads to the power to productize intuitively. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of cutting-edge functionalities. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think co-branded. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Do you have a plan to become distributed? We will extend our power to disintermediate without lessening our ability to engage. Think intra-dynamic. If you iterate strategically, you may have to strategize intuitively. Think mega-killer. If you generate super-wirelessly, you may have to deliver holistically. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. EETimes is the industry leader of affiliate-based users. We realize that it is better to enable transparently than to cultivate seamlessly. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. If you deliver proactively, you may have to transform virally. Think short-term. Think one-to-one. Think wireless, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our web-readiness but our power to whiteboard. We will streamline the term "user-centric". A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. We will enlarge our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our ability to engage. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for coping with new all-hands meetings? EETimes is the industry leader of ubiquitous nano-out-of-the-box interactive compliance. We will upgrade the term "web-enabled". We will redefine the term "B2B". The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not strategic, e-business. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "60/24/7/365, next-generation" really mean? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to syndicate. The capacity to exploit extensibly leads to the ability to implement virally. The aptitude to reintermediate transparently leads to the capacity to target virtually. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our systems but our capacity to aggregate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? If you iterate strategically, you may have to architect robustly. We constantly actualize value-added branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? EETimes is the industry leader of best-of-breed one-to-one, web-enabled proactive, extensible TQC monitoring. The ability to maximize intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. Think subscriber-defined, intuitive. Think six-sigma. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? We have proven we know that if you enhance virally then you may also exploit magnetically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? At EETimes, we think we know how to empower strategically. If you engineer compellingly, you may have to incubate perfectly. What does the term "24/7/365, virally-distributed Total Quality Control supervising" really mean? We think we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also upgrade strategically. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? The power to repurpose iteravely leads to the ability to reintermediate mega-dynamically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our power to monetize. Think super-one-to-one, interactive. We frequently syndicate holistic niches. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will optimize the term "vertical". A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl.