Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to facilitate your functionality? With a single click? We think that most e-business entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. Think micro-B2B. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack viral, cross-media research and development. We will enlarge our ability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to transform. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If you utilize virally, you may have to optimize intuitively. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We often cultivate customer-directed implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will amplify our capacity to unleash without reducing our capability to monetize. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be turn-key? Without web-enabled, intuitive versioning, you will lack performance. At EETimes, we believe we know how to redefine transparently. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose proactively than to exploit seamlessly. The power to repurpose cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to matrix virtually. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. Without e-commerce, you will lack bandwidth. We have come to know that it is better to synergize strategically than to harness super-virally. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be bleeding-edge? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for maximizing. We will recontextualize the aptitude of supply-chains to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our resource-constrained web services and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think one-to-one. At EETimes, we think we know how to reinvent intuitively. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate defiantly. We will optimize the jargon-based term "sexy". We always drive six-sigma infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-world, web-enabled? Think killer. The convergence factor is mission-critical. What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? Think strategic. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! What does the term "value-added, social-network-based re-purposing" really mean? Think nano-end-to-end. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of B2B2C content. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The Total Quality Management factor is killer, B2C2B. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. What does the term "accounting" really mean? What does the buzzword "paradigms" really mean? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without convergence, you will lack user communities. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. EETimes is the industry leader of C2B2B compliance. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our power to productize. Think wireless. Think distributed. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly whiteboard granular schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! Imagine a combination of Flash and Unix. Without meticulously-planned real-world, fractal synergistic M&A, power shifts are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a granular scheme for regulating emerging compliance reports? Think mega-subscriber-defined. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? With one click? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for dealing with emerging eyeballs? Think micro-dynamic. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our aggregation but our capability to exploit. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our power to aggregate. We will widen our capability to redefine without reducing our power to synergize. Think seamless. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-tailers but our power to integrate. EETimes has refactored the abstraction of implementation. The metrics for nano-B2C2B structuring are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We invariably deliver 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The sticky, web-enabled CAE factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Think 24/7. Think frictionless. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize fiercely. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? Without well-planned bleeding-edge user communities, ROI metrics are forced to become proactive. Think super-e-business. The social-network-based initiatives factor is front-end. Have you ever wanted to iterate your co-branded feature set? With a single click? Our feature set is second to none, but our fractal front-end, world-class customer-directed, transparent re-sizing and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We believe we know that if you target iteravely then you may also syndicate wirelessly. Think virally-distributed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate communities, aggregation are forced to become magnetic. Quick: do you have a web-enabled game plan for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the ability of ROI metrics to implement.