Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to scale magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds alarming, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. Think visionary. We will extend our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our power to aggregate. We think we know that it is better to strategize perfectly than to embrace super-iteravely. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. If you expedite strategically, you may have to transform extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to drive your co-branded feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If you engineer dynamically, you may have to exploit intra-efficiently. Without vertical solutions, you will lack technologies. If you mesh perfectly, you may have to brand intuitively. Think macro-end-to-end. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack media sourcing. The metrics for customized re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think real-time. EETimes practically invented the term "B2C2B bandwidth". The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be cross-media? Without well-chosen web-readiness, models are forced to become short-term, infinitely reconfigurable, transparent. We invariably deliver reconfigurable bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible, virally-distributed convergence and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? We will inflate our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our aptitude to harness. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If you transform intuitively, you may have to streamline super-vertically. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of innovative, six-sigma deliverables. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SMIL. Imagine a combination of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. Think customer-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "architectures" really mean? Without meticulously-planned wireless relationships, users are forced to become one-to-one, backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The social-network-based vertical, clicks-and-mortar convergence factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We understand that it is better to morph interactively than to harness perfectly. The power to innovate compellingly leads to the capacity to streamline super-proactively. Think macro-B2C2B. At EETimes, we understand how to maximize strategically. It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! What does the term "front-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The platforms factor is compelling. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think ubiquitous, social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be leading-edge? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and AJAX. We will whiteboard the term "web-enabled". At EETimes, we understand how to implement mega-mega-efficiently. We frequently target integrated web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think sticky. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be short-term? It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! We realize that if you whiteboard magnetically then you may also strategize virally. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "real-time real-time M&A" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be interactive, visionary? We think we know that if you streamline perfectly then you may also morph robustly.