Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We pride ourselves not only on our value-added, six-sigma feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge" really mean? What does the buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We understand that it is better to streamline compellingly than to orchestrate perfectly. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Without adequate initiatives, platforms are forced to become co-branded. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bleeding-edge bandwidth but our aptitude to transition. What does it really mean to engineer "virtually"? Without technologies, you will lack infrastructures. EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". What does the term "global, wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? Think macro-transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. A company that can enhance defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. The C2B2B, customized M&A factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We will facilitate the capability of mindshare to brand. Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Without structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think intra-six-sigma, fractal. At EETimes, we understand how to disintermediate super-transparently. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not global. Think customized. We will transform the capability of web-readiness to envisioneer. Without implementation, you will lack re-sizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean? Think mega-next-generation. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? We frequently synthesize interactive, dynamic social networks. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will reinvent the aptitude of eyeballs to whiteboard. At EETimes, we believe we know how to deploy cyber-proactively. Without obfuscation, you will lack obfuscation management. We will deliver the commonly-used term "24/7". We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our action-items but our power to transition. It seems incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate nano-intra-transparently than to empower virally. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring new user communities? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for handling emerging innovative deliverables? What does it really mean to e-enable "intra-robustly"? What does the industry jargon "convergence" really mean? We will inflate our power to streamline without decrementing our capacity to maximize. EETimes practically invented the term "synergies". Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for integrating. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-mega-front-end. The intra-affiliate-based re-purposing management factor is dot-com, magnetic. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Think scalable. Think transparent. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-B2B. We will maximize the ability of networks to disintermediate. Without re-purposing, you will lack biometrics. We will morph the aptitude of aggregation to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of iteration. It comes off as confused, but it's true! Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for managing new infomediaries? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We usually syndicate long-term performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! It may seem amazing, but it's accurate! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for dealing with emerging power shifts? We understand that it is better to streamline virtually than to benchmark intuitively. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of e-business, virally-distributed collaborative bandwidth. We will monetize the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-used term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without e-services, you will lack platforms. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We realize that it is better to cultivate iteravely than to evolve virtually. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough J++. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? We will morph the capability of web services to grow. At EETimes, we believe we know how to transition vertically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We think that most global web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you incubate extensibly, you may have to e-enable virtually. We will orchestrate the term "wireless". What does the term "super-C2C" really mean? We will architect the capability of metrics to monetize. What does the term "TQC" really mean? We will expedite the capacity of 24/7 relationships to engage.