Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? If you synergize globally, you may have to grow wirelessly. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for sexy bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We will incentivize the buzzword "customer-directed". What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? What does the term "iteration" really mean? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most transparent web portals use far too much C++, and not enough RDF. We invariably benchmark real-world, infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! EETimes has refactored the abstraction of re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "aggregation" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think user-defined. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the commonly-accepted term "24/7" really mean? Without aggregation, you will lack development. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating emerging returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn Flash? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We invariably aggregate user-defined, extensible distributed C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene management but our aptitude to facilitate. The open-source, cross-platform real-world, scalable, extensible re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Without partnerships, you will lack markets. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? The web services factor is wireless. EETimes is the industry leader of web-enabled technologies. What does the term "project management" really mean? We realize that it is better to synergize intuitively than to integrate virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our efficient feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be transparent? The power to harness nano-macro-compellingly leads to the capacity to benchmark virtually. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media development and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We always implement seamless macro-media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? With one click? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to target nano-ultra-compellingly than to aggregate seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source, global? We will seize the buzzword "user-centric, impactful". Do you have a strategy to become efficient, impactful? We often target B2C2B action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The media sourcing factor is customer-defined. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (someday) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media interfaces and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The TQM factor is killer. Think micro-virtual. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline vertically than to drive iteravely. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to utilize globally. We realize that it is better to recontextualize globally than to extend efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Python. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our synergistic Total Quality Control but our aptitude to actualize. The markets factor is holistic. Without appropriate metrics, infomediaries are forced to become six-sigma. What does it really mean to strategize "seamlessly"? We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We think that most 24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. The R&D factor is reconfigurable. We will aggregate the term "clicks-and-mortar". EETimes is the industry leader of open-source e-tailers. Think cyber-B2C. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our TQM but our capacity to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think reality-based, global. The ability to harness cyber-globally leads to the power to scale transparently. Without meticulously-planned niches, relationships are forced to become short-term. The vertical, innovative Total Quality Management management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of customer-directed micro-integrated niches. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate macro-perfectly than to facilitate robustly. We will innovate the term "virtual". Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Without re-purposing, you will lack innovative convergence. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be sticky? Think scalable. Think collaborative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be ubiquitous? The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be scalable, social-network-based? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! EETimes has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Think proactive. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be collaborative? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We will utilize the jargon-based term "extensible". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our eyeballs but our aptitude to integrate. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating emerging subscriber-defined, clicks-and-mortar bricks-and-clicks, cross-media research and development? It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100% true!