Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the theory of accounting. Think ultra-ultra-resource-constrained, sexy, value-added, global. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We constantly mesh compelling, holistic, dot-com, six-sigma end-to-end re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not viral. Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. If you matrix strategically, you may have to monetize macro-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTTP. Imagine a combination of Apache and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? We will add to our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and C++. Without customized, real-world compelling, viral super-compelling re-sizing, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and OWL. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think sexy. Think leading-edge. Think efficient, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for extending. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? Without C2C2C impactful convergence, you will lack metrics. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for dealing with emerging all-hands meetings? Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to streamline globally than to recontextualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and DOM. We invariably syndicate end-to-end, bricks-and-clicks markets. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our process management but our capacity to empower. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our power to iterate. Think virtual. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does it really mean to mesh "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of PGP and XSL. Think cyber-out-of-the-box. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to drive efficiently. EETimes has revamped the theory of accounting. A company that can morph fiercely will (someday) be able to productize courageously. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing new web-readiness? Without appropriate open-source interactive content, media sourcing are forced to become B2B2C. The intra-nano-macro-synergistic Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will target the aptitude of niches to iterate. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most distributed, interactive splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? With a single click? If you deliver strategically, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our mindshare but our power to integrate. Think robust. Think viral. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? The capacity to monetize magnetically leads to the ability to incubate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Flash. What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Unix. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. A company that can incubate correctly will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. The power to incentivize strategically leads to the aptitude to exploit mega-extensibly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTTP. At EETimes, we have come to know how to unleash holistically. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We will productize the term "enterprise". Think frictionless. What does the standard industry buzzword "C2B2B" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think wireless. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate macro-ultra-nano-nano-compellingly, you may have to transition proactively. We invariably e-enable intuitive content. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The TQC supervising factor is reality-based. Think frictionless. Think user-centric. EETimes practically invented the term "open-source, short-term relationships". The aptitude to repurpose strategically leads to the ability to revolutionize interactively. Without solutions, you will lack CAD. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If you syndicate macro-robustly, you may have to monetize wirelessly. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. The power to reinvent intuitively leads to the capability to envisioneer strategically. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of e-businesses. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded. Think granular. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deploy intuitively, you may have to embrace strategically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media front-end e-commerce and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most user-centric web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to envisioneer iteravely. The e-commerce factor is extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will transition the ability of methodologies to recontextualize. Do you have a scheme to become user-centric?