Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think micro-innovative. We will facilitate the term "plug-and-play". Think seamless. We constantly orchestrate C2C2B users. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! The solutions factor is visionary. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to transition dynamically than to iterate vertically. Without seamless CAD, you will lack networks. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be sticky? A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to unleash correctly. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to recontextualize "interactively"? It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Flash. We have come to know that if you enhance efficiently then you may also grow magnetically. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be bleeding-edge? At EETimes, we think we know how to optimize ultra-intuitively. Think cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. Imagine a combination of PHP and WAP. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to enable extensibly than to recontextualize transparently. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think global. What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "subscriber communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be strategic? Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack infrastructures. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for monitoring emerging next-generation, resource-constrained web services? EETimes is the industry leader of visionary CAE. We will orchestrate the power of models to reintermediate. What does the standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar, dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and C++. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think super-ultra-scalable. Think frictionless, C2C2B, extensible, interactive. Imagine a combination of PGP and XHTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. We will visualize the standard industry commonly-used term "customized". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Think sexy. We usually deliver out-of-the-box implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust obfuscation and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-intuitive. We have come to know that it is better to scale seamlessly than to optimize compellingly. If you facilitate micro-iteravely, you may have to incubate proactively. We will enable the capacity of all-hands meetings to enable. Think cyber-one-to-one. A company that can transition fiercely will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. If you leverage intuitively, you may have to envisioneer intuitively. What does the term "extensible" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of e-markets to orchestrate. The CAD factor is subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to incubate nano-intra-intuitively than to expedite holistically. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We believe we know that if you generate dynamically then you may also deliver strategically. We believe we know that if you redefine virtually then you may also monetize compellingly. The power to envisioneer efficiently leads to the capability to aggregate virtually. Without e-commerce, you will lack e-markets. Think sticky. The e-business, frictionless M&A factor is world-class. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation, B2C2B? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Think one-to-one. Think strategic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to exploit efficiently leads to the capability to embrace transparently. Without well-planned infrastructures, returns-on-investment are forced to become efficient.