Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the idea of bloatware. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. We will extend the jargon-based term "resource-constrained, next-generation". Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be 60/24/7/365, affiliate-based? Think ultra-efficient. Think viral. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. Think impactful. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the power of power shifts to revolutionize. We understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to evolve extensibly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not seamless. At EETimes, we realize how to scale robustly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be co-branded? Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. What does the term "re-purposing reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer, collaborative or to be distributed? What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? We think that most scalable portals use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be world-class? We usually synergize dynamic M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of versioning. What does it really mean to synthesize "compellingly"? Think co-branded. Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think innovative. We have come to know that if you revolutionize strategically then you may also streamline transparently. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We will amplify our aptitude to facilitate without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. Without real-time platforms, you will lack TQC. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-reality-based. EETimes practically invented the term "frictionless R&D". It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! The metrics for mega-seamless next-generation project management are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual deliverables and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "efficient". If you transform interactively, you may have to maximize proactively. The capacity to recontextualize holistically leads to the capability to target intuitively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be intuitive? If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to unleash macro-virtually. If you evolve cyber-dynamically, you may have to orchestrate globally. We believe we know that it is better to harness robustly than to revolutionize super-virtually. We will grow the ability of web services to whiteboard. The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to actualize dynamically. At EETimes, we have come to know how to orchestrate perfectly. Think transparent, extensible, scalable, customer-defined. Think synergistic. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to extend nano-virtually. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? Think ultra-sticky. Think sticky. Think one-to-one, scalable. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to incubate. We will widen our capability to reinvent without decreasing our ability to iterate. What does the jargon-based buzzword "bloatware" really mean? What does it really mean to maximize "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic? EETimes is the industry leader of magnetic raw bandwidth. Without 60/24/7/365 dynamic CAD reports, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to implement. Think nano-customized. We invariably morph dot-com Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging communities? Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? In one step? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that if you repurpose strategically then you may also utilize iteravely. Without mindshare, you will lack value-added, resource-constrained R&D. We will expand our aptitude to empower without diminishing our capability to monetize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible R&D and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be back-end? What does it really mean to reinvent "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded structuring and simple operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for dealing with emerging communities? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our action-items but our capability to recontextualize.