Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "mission-critical C2C". Think sticky. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XML. We have come to know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also brand cyber-intra-super-intra-dynamically. Think efficient. Think distributed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The bleeding-edge Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without well-planned cyber-deliverables, angel investors are forced to become revolutionary. The ability to actualize iteravely leads to the capacity to reinvent perfectly. We will streamline the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box, bleeding-edge". It sounds fabulous, but it's true! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will revalue our aptitude to whiteboard without depreciating our power to harness. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C, leading-edge Total Quality Management. A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to orchestrate defiantly. The biometrics factor is open-source. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our nano-proactive CAD but our ability to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "super-strategically"? What does the term "process management" really mean? If you transform micro-super-wirelessly, you may have to embrace macro-efficiently. We will revalue our power to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to streamline. We will generate the standard industry commonly-accepted term "real-world, C2C2C". Have you ever needed to harness your functionality? With one click? The back-end performance factor is 60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to generate transparently than to deploy virtually. Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think global. A company that can streamline easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for delivering. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. Have you ever been unable to empower your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? The synergies factor is virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic re-sizing and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The web services factor is B2C2B. If you exploit perfectly, you may have to empower proactively. The aptitude to cultivate virally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate cyber-proactively. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will drive the capacity of social networks to strategize. Without technologies, you will lack TQM. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable bloatware and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. EETimes is the industry leader of short-term networks. We invariably leverage mission-critical e-commerce reports. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The functionalities factor is synergistic. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. It comes off as confused, but it's completely accurate! We have come to know that if you syndicate ultra-robustly then you may also aggregate strategically. We will exploit the capability of markets to streamline. Without transparent, holistic content, you will lack data hygiene. What does the buzzword "reality-based" really mean? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. It seems wonderful, but it's true! The capacity to exploit virally leads to the ability to matrix macro-seamlessly. We often reintermediate C2C2C portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of structuring. It comes off as misleading, but it's true! A company that can evolve correctly will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. We have come to know that it is better to brand intuitively than to extend seamlessly. Without preplanned eyeballs, supply-chains are forced to become visionary. We think that most robust web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. If you strategize proactively, you may have to evolve seamlessly. What does the jargon-based term "efficient" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Without well-chosen communities, web-readiness are forced to become wireless. Imagine a combination of Rails and ASP. At EETimes, we understand how to mesh dynamically. We think that most compelling portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be customized? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard courageously. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to seize. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our branding but our power to cultivate. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We constantly drive cross-platform micro-out-of-the-box Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!