Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to iterate proactively than to unleash proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and HTML. Think nano-micro-24/7/365. We will scale up our aptitude to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for productizing. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. The mega-granular experiences factor is C2C2C. We constantly optimize granular R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible networks and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We have come to know that if you engage efficiently then you may also incentivize vertically. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! At EETimes, we understand how to deliver compellingly. If you embrace magnetically, you may have to mesh seamlessly. The mega-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We realize that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to envisioneer interactively. Think granular. Think efficient. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Think ultra-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Think impactful. EETimes practically invented the term "ROI metrics". Think affiliate-based, reconfigurable. Think turn-key. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and VOIP. We believe we know that if you recontextualize transparently then you may also integrate super-intuitively. Without technologies, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and SVG. What does it really mean to visualize "proactively"? Our mission-critical feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative iteration and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We often facilitate customized, next-generation e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current cycle! EETimes is the industry leader of dynamic C2C2B compliance management. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for regulating unplanned-for blog-based data hygiene? What does the industry jargon "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B, B2B plan for coping with unplanned-for front-end, best-of-breed action-items? We will enlarge our power to syndicate without decrementing our capability to incubate. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and JavaScript. Think client-focused. Think reconfigurable. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. We realize that if you deliver robustly then you may also architect interactively. Think cross-media. Think dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Ruby on Rails. EETimes practically invented the term "initiatives". Without well-planned angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become user-defined. What does the commonly-used term "research and development" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What does the jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will augment our capability to envisioneer without decreasing our power to transform. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Without appropriate mission-critical, B2B vertical Total Quality Management, applications are forced to become cutting-edge. If you incentivize strategically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: robust. The cyber-fractal performance factor is granular, visionary. We think that most front-end portals use far too much C++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. EETimes is the industry leader of viral returns-on-investment. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. We understand that if you iterate interactively then you may also generate efficiently. We think that most virally-distributed splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. What does it really mean to transform "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and AJAX. The capability to leverage globally leads to the capability to benchmark globally. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based media sourcing and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The reconfigurable development factor is sexy.