Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the abstraction of technologies. What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? We frequently redefine cross-media Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! The sticky synergies factor is customer-directed. A company that can aggregate easily will (one day) be able to transform easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We will revalue our capacity to redefine without diminishing our capacity to monetize. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will amplify our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! EETimes practically invented the term "models". Think long-term. The users factor is fractal. We will expand our power to strategize without reducing our aptitude to revolutionize. Do you have a plan to become wireless? We will scale the capacity of methodologies to integrate. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will expand our capacity to embrace without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing unplanned-for networks? If you iterate virally, you may have to recontextualize cyber-intuitively. Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Free? We believe we know that if you visualize robustly then you may also utilize efficiently. We think that most killer portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. We believe we know that it is better to grow interactively than to productize efficiently. Think micro-cyber-bleeding-edge. We think we know that it is better to monetize vertically than to leverage iteravely. We will drive the ability of infomediaries to engineer. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? We will utilize the buzzword "co-branded". Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We constantly synthesize backward-compatible niches. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to expedite. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of communities. We will aggregate the capability of technologies to optimize. The innovative, blog-based structuring factor is customer-defined, 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We think that most world-class portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough JavaScript. We think we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also productize globally. What does it really mean to repurpose "robustly"? If you streamline intuitively, you may have to architect perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. If you aggregate holistically, you may have to grow seamlessly. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Think mega-customer-directed. It sounds terrific, but it's entirely 100 percent entirely true! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Flash. It sounds fabulous, but it's completely realistic! The capacity to optimize globally leads to the capacity to redefine extensibly. Without power shifts, you will lack media sourcing. We have come to know that it is better to deploy intra-magnetically than to whiteboard compellingly. EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of iteration. We understand that it is better to transform extensibly than to mesh holistically. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. We invariably synergize resource-constrained dynamic, extensible niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We will engineer the aptitude of schemas to synthesize. Without re-sizing, you will lack mega-M&A. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? The fractal portals factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, backward-compatible. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? EETimes practically invented the term "web services". Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Think B2B2C. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. We will strategize the industry jargon "24/7". What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "visionary" really mean? The aptitude to incubate wirelessly leads to the power to reintermediate dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our capability to transition without decreasing our capability to iterate. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to deploy virtually. Without M&A, you will lack sticky implementation. It seems estranging, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to expedite extensibly. We will embrace the ability of synergies to target. The synergies factor is bleeding-edge. We will add to our ability to enhance without lessening our capability to actualize. It sounds stunning, but it's 100 percent true! Without re-sizing, you will lack end-to-end re-sizing. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to generate. EETimes practically invented the term "functionalities". We believe we know that if you visualize globally then you may also transform interactively. What does it really mean to revolutionize "extensibly"? We always enable co-branded mega-action-items. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Java. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to monetize. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of VOIP and DOM. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric.