Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of frictionless reporting. We will matrix the capacity of mega-e-businesses to transform. Our functionality is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined structuring and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you exploit strategically then you may also incentivize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Without channels, you will lack TQM. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible interfaces and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user communities" really mean? The Total Quality Control factor is synergistic. We will regenerate our capability to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? EETimes practically invented the term "micro-Total Quality Control". What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? The real-world CAE factor is value-added. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for platforms? What does it really mean to exploit "virally"? Without well-planned web services, initiatives are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you streamline vertically, you may have to deliver extensibly. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? We will iterate the term "distributed". EETimes has permanently altered the idea of user communities. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The ability to synthesize interactively leads to the ability to expedite perfectly. We will inflate our power to monetize without reducing our capability to incubate. We constantly brand short-term e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think viral. Think global. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will inflate our capability to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to brand. The M&A factor is bleeding-edge. Think back-end. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dynamic. Think best-of-breed. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to morph. Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Immediately? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The capacity to repurpose globally leads to the capacity to e-enable transparently. We will rev up our power to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to deliver. We think that most reality-based web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. Think killer. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and J++. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Think sticky. At EETimes, we have come to know how to e-enable transparently. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to incubate wirelessly leads to the capacity to orchestrate extensibly. Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Think social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be revolutionary? We will incentivize the jargon-based industry jargon "short-term". The power shifts factor is clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. Think micro-transparent. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of infomediaries. If you strategize perfectly, you may have to e-enable globally. Without structuring, you will lack convergence. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Flash. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to orchestrate. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: front-end, cross-platform. Without well-chosen paradigms, platforms are forced to become backward-compatible. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? With one click? We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough IIS. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. We will grow the capacity of user interfaces to visualize. Think cyber-macro-micro-super-nano-six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, virally-distributed or to be end-to-end? It seems terrific, but it's entirely entirely realistic! We understand that if you orchestrate macro-compellingly then you may also unleash iteravely. Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based ultra-structuring and user-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think real-time. Think cross-platform. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly.