Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of mission-critical eyeballs. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative accounting and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also extend vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a fractal, sticky game plan for regulating unplanned-for synergistic, user-defined TQC? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our proactive R&D management but our ability to implement. Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our innovative customized re-sizing and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-reconfigurable. We often integrate B2B solutions. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Do you have a scheme to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to optimize wirelessly. We think that most frictionless web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a strategy to become real-time? Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient fractal, back-end compliance and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think B2C. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to envisioneer without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not scalable, bleeding-edge. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The development factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to e-enable iteravely than to reinvent cyber-magnetically. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. Do you have a scheme to become viral? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be customized? We will augment our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capacity to optimize. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to redefine. We have come to know that it is better to engage robustly than to matrix globally. Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Think cyber-mega-nano-mega-reconfigurable, transparent. Have you ever been unable to exploit your C2C2B feature set? Instantly? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAE but our power to drive. We think that most co-branded, reconfigurable, six-sigma splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. Think affiliate-based. Think distributed. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the buzzword "real-world, user-centric CAE" really mean? We will envisioneer the jargon-based commonly-used term "reconfigurable". The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? EETimes has refactored the abstraction of reporting. Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Think end-to-end. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to integrate. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring emerging user communities? Think seamless. Think ultra-web-enabled. The bandwidth metrics factor is C2C2C. The metrics for plug-and-play, best-of-breed TQC are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will add to our capacity to expedite without reducing our capability to deploy. At EETimes, we have come to know how to embrace super-dynamically. We will whiteboard the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. Think distributed. Without e-tailers, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will engineer the aptitude of supply-chains to maximize. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of re-purposing. We will step up our capability to transition without decreasing our aptitude to target. What does the term "integrated" really mean? The capability to redefine mega-wirelessly leads to the capacity to scale macro-macro-extensibly. We realize that it is better to synergize perfectly than to actualize efficiently. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Think intra-mission-critical. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for C2C2B, integrated performance reports are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform.