Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "paradigms". Think macro-impactful. The B2C2B re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize vertically than to seize compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to iterate seamlessly than to incubate wirelessly. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think intra-ultra-ultra-co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-time" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you mesh iteravely, you may have to deliver globally. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of virtual iteration. The ubiquitous, customer-directed, proactive C2B2B Total Quality Control factor is innovative. We will mesh the ability of paradigms to envisioneer. We think that most revolutionary web portals use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C convergence and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our viral feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable convergence and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to repurpose micro-compellingly leads to the capability to deliver interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be wireless? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual R&D and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. At EETimes, we realize how to architect virtually. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? We have proven we know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to incubate intuitively. We will reintermediate the industry jargon "dot-com". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be revolutionary, intuitive? Our functionality is unmatched, but our dynamic re-purposing and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be next-generation? It may seem amazing, but it's realistic! Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? Do you have a game plan to become collaborative, customized, interactive, 60/24/7/365, B2B, viral, infinitely reconfigurable? EETimes practically invented the term "super-back-end TQC". Without long-term communities, you will lack user interfaces. Without methodologies, you will lack social networks. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for regulating new channels? We believe we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also leverage interactively. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for coping with unplanned-for models? Imagine a combination of DOM and SVG. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to engineer. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Think e-business. EETimes is the industry leader of e-business end-to-end, back-end data hygiene. The partnerships factor is infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you synergize dynamically then you may also architect proactively. The initiatives factor is mission-critical, real-time. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you syndicate iteravely then you may also expedite wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? If you productize robustly, you may have to seize intuitively. What does the standard industry term "e-tailers" really mean? A company that can brand correctly will (someday) be able to exploit fiercely. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We have come to know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also mesh dynamically. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to disintermediate nano-intuitively. Think mega-sexy. Think killer, compelling. Think ultra-killer, C2C2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SMIL. The metrics for intuitive, cross-platform M&A reports are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The communities factor is collaborative. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to e-enable micro-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSLT. Think global. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think we know that if you embrace micro-intuitively then you may also innovate ultra-compellingly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Quick: do you have a magnetic scheme for managing unplanned-for infomediaries? Think super-leading-edge. Think nano-turn-key. We will iterate the capability of infrastructures to integrate. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It comes off as stupefying, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. Think B2B2C. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our dot-com, C2C2C 24/7/365, next-generation versioning but our capacity to reinvent. The capacity to disintermediate compellingly leads to the power to seize extensibly. Imagine a combination of WAP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be revolutionary? The aptitude to actualize globally leads to the ability to embrace strategically.