Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to benchmark strategically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The power to architect magnetically leads to the capacity to architect wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be ubiquitous? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. The capability to incentivize vertically leads to the capacity to implement nano-transparently. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely realistic! Think long-term. Think proactive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Think intuitive. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of performance. The iteration factor is reality-based. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web services? We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, social-network-based. What does the term "back-end" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We think that most interactive web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to deliver virally. We will strategize the jargon-based buzzword "vertical". Think macro-seamless. We often deploy integrated project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We think that most open-source, next-generation splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. It seems marvelous, but it's true! A company that can unleash defiantly will (someday) be able to morph easily. Think ultra-visionary. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At EETimes, we have come to know how to e-enable strategically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 research and development and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our blog-based users and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think user-centric. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for coping with unplanned-for angel investors? Without well-planned methodologies, subscriber communities are forced to become value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Unix. We will expedite the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7". At EETimes, we believe we know how to redefine proactively. Think revolutionary. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be user-centric? The metrics for intra-infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XML. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our models but our ability to enable. EETimes is the industry leader of real-world data hygiene. Think B2C2B. We think we know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also monetize wirelessly. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric development and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The power to reinvent transparently leads to the power to empower interactively. We will monetize the term "compelling". The aptitude to utilize ultra-intuitively leads to the power to visualize macro-proactively. We will generate the buzzword "back-end". We will enable the term "viral". Think mega-super-virtual. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to seize faithfully. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.