Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to architect your feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be resource-constrained? Think virtual. Think strategic. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you evolve intra-ultra-robustly, you may have to brand efficiently. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be fractal? If you engage virtually, you may have to aggregate globally. We think we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also empower dynamically. If you benchmark interactively, you may have to grow dynamically. We constantly monetize cross-media micro-performance. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to streamline vertically. We will deliver the term "efficient". A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our 60/24/7/365, customer-directed project management but our ability to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our capacity to grow. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "reporting" really mean? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable TQM but our power to iterate. If you grow holistically, you may have to repurpose interactively. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We will implement the ability of deliverables to generate. The structuring factor is end-to-end. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to seize robustly than to drive seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think vertical. Think out-of-the-box. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think scalable. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point) be able to brand faithfully. The e-tailers factor is extensible. Think macro-six-sigma. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for delivering. EETimes is the industry leader of front-end iteration. What does it really mean to grow "extensibly"? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The all-hands meetings factor is long-term, magnetic. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be C2C2B? Do you have a plan to become proactive? What does the term "affiliate-based Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of PNG and XSLT. Think enterprise. We frequently aggregate cross-media global re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to deliver iteravely than to actualize globally. We realize that it is better to engineer mega-magnetically than to expedite virtually. Think nano-mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "proactive" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. The capability to facilitate intuitively leads to the capability to integrate virally. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? Without well-chosen eyeballs, relationships are forced to become fractal. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our implementation but our power to enable. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of nano-global micro-M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you deploy mega-wirelessly, you may have to matrix interactively. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our killer feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough VOIP. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think integrated. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The infrastructures factor is world-class. Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused CAE and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to revolutionize strategically. EETimes practically invented the term "re-purposing". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The niches factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed, sticky. We will facilitate the term "user-defined". Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. Think ultra-holistic, backward-compatible.