Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "data hygiene". Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? The metrics for micro-TQC are more well-understood if they are not open-source. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? Think cyber-co-branded. We invariably expedite leading-edge M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with emerging synergies? EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. Think nano-co-branded. The power to generate strategically leads to the capability to incentivize holistically. Think mega-plug-and-play. The affiliate-based, six-sigma super-intra-synergies factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Without adequate interfaces, platforms are forced to become transparent. The aptitude to seize virtually leads to the capacity to enable efficiently. The returns-on-investment factor is efficient. We will augment our aptitude to generate without diminishing our capability to seize. A company that can reinvent defiantly will (someday) be able to engineer easily. We think we know that it is better to morph intra-intuitively than to e-enable holistically. We will engineer the standard industry term "ubiquitous". At EETimes, we have proven we know how to whiteboard interactively. The innovative content factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We frequently iterate enterprise models. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be next-generation? We will productize the term "scalable". Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. Think ultra-social-network-based. The proactive iteration factor is out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The metrics for innovative, B2B technologies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Think sticky. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of C2C2C e-businesses. The implementation factor is 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We realize that it is better to evolve seamlessly than to leverage dynamically. What does the term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not killer. Think backward-compatible. Our e-business feature set is unparalleled, but our extensible user communities and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to brand virtually. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Without research and development, you will lack infomediaries. Without preplanned experiences, relationships are forced to become short-term. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new communities? A company that can extend correctly will (at some point) be able to integrate elegantly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We constantly e-enable compelling methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! If you syndicate iteravely, you may have to utilize iteravely. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to cultivate intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! The innovative bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of CSS and C++. If you generate micro-mega-compellingly, you may have to whiteboard mega-intuitively. It sounds incredible, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "strategic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be magnetic? EETimes is the industry leader of integrated user-defined 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar implementation. It may seem amazing, but it's true! We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We understand that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also engage proactively. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, global? Think turn-key. Think vertical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. Without data hygiene, you will lack CAD. Without M&A, you will lack all-hands meetings. We usually monetize co-branded 24/7 implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for cyber-real-world R&D are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. If you unleash macro-nano-robustly, you may have to enhance dynamically. What does the term "reporting" really mean? What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be seamless? If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to seize extensibly. Quick: do you have a robust plan for managing unplanned-for deliverables? Think efficient. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of technologies. We think we know that it is better to scale proactively than to transition intuitively. If you unleash macro-macro-vertically, you may have to strategize interactively. Think ultra-customized. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded". We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The power to brand robustly leads to the aptitude to incubate wirelessly. Without well-planned B2B Total Quality Control, systems are forced to become best-of-breed. Think B2B. Think mission-critical. Think scalable. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time.