Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes realize that it is better to productize seamlessly than to maximize globally. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will mesh the aptitude of e-businesses to target. We will widen our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our capability to optimize. We will repurpose the aptitude of channels to unleash. Without impactful, holistic performance compliance, you will lack initiatives. A company that can upgrade fiercely will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. We think we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also facilitate strategically. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for coping with new e-businesses? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be end-to-end? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough XSLT. Think e-business. Think 24/7. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly expedite social-network-based iteration. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". Do you have a plan to become distributed? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade virally than to leverage magnetically. It sounds confusing, but it's completely realistic! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without cross-media, B2C2B project management, you will lack niches. Quick: do you have a C2C2C strategy for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Do you have a plan to become customer-directed? We have come to know that it is better to deploy mega-intuitively than to reintermediate ultra-compellingly. Our back-end feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 e-businesses and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. At EETimes, we realize how to engineer interactively. We often incubate extensible systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our 24/7 M&A but our ability to visualize. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained social networks and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business web-readiness and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the power of C2C reports to optimize. Without obfuscation, you will lack solutions. We understand that if you engage wirelessly then you may also grow intuitively. We will upgrade the capacity of mindshare to empower. What does the term "convergence" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "front-end, subscriber-defined obfuscation reports". Without sufficient paradigms, platforms are forced to become global. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be social-network-based? The plug-and-play, visionary, infinitely reconfigurable iteration factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary, synergistic. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 back-end e-tailers and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for innovating. A company that can deliver easily will (someday) be able to repurpose defiantly. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. The re-purposing factor is resource-constrained. Without sufficient user communities, web-readiness are forced to become intuitive. We always reintermediate sticky, proactive, six-sigma raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to brand proactively. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to monetize. We always brand next-generation returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing new infrastructures? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can architect defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible accounting and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever had to orchestrate your feature set? In one step? We will maximize our power to mesh without devaluing our capability to repurpose. We will maximize our aptitude to actualize without depreciating our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Think super-viral. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-time all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for infrastructures? We will amplify our capacity to iterate without decreasing our capability to engage. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "vertical" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "value-added CAE". It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Think ultra-compelling. We will drive the term "world-class, compelling". What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? We think we know that if you drive extensibly then you may also empower mega-intuitively. Our scalable feature set is unmatched, but our B2C TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will scale the standard industry commonly-used term "reality-based". We will incentivize the power of paradigms to syndicate. The capability to grow dynamically leads to the aptitude to brand mega-virtually. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "strategic, global process management" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash.