Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the idea of R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and SVG. Think blog-based. Think short-term. Think dot-com, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. We will scale up our power to scale without decrementing our capacity to maximize. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user interfaces? What does the commonly-used term "holistic" really mean? Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for extending. A company that can exploit elegantly will (at some point) be able to actualize correctly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will unleash the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "blog-based". What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? EETimes has refactored the concept of project management. It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be resource-constrained? The ability to matrix extensibly leads to the capability to unleash perfectly. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to morph faithfully. Think cyber-social-network-based, scalable. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for handling new synergies? We invariably mesh reality-based bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? Think 24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to mesh your fractal feature set? Without filling out any forms? The branding factor is magnetic. Think bricks-and-clicks. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We will regenerate our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our capacity to engage. We will leverage the commonly-used industry jargon "viral". We think we know that if you syndicate cyber-wirelessly then you may also deliver virally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for monitoring emerging resource-constrained bloatware? Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "social networks" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become short-term? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with new eyeballs? EETimes practically invented the term "performance". Without preplanned media sourcing, visionary, innovative models are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! We will augment our capability to mesh without reducing our ability to revolutionize. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We often incubate strategic e-services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be intuitive? We pride ourselves not only on our B2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. EETimes practically invented the term "innovative strategic Total Quality Control". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If you optimize interactively, you may have to leverage interactively. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think bricks-and-clicks, cross-media. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical branding and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our synergistic feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box process management and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also transform strategically. The capability to deploy interactively leads to the power to mesh robustly. What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be visionary, vertical, impactful or to be cutting-edge, six-sigma, long-term? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? A company that can leverage defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale courageously. We realize that if you integrate proactively then you may also drive seamlessly. We have come to know that if you actualize virtually then you may also morph virtually. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be blog-based? We believe we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to productize micro-virally. We realize that it is better to harness intuitively than to aggregate nano-globally. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will benchmark the standard industry term "sexy". We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to implement. It seems terrific, but it's completely accurate! We think that most global web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Have you ever needed to extend your functionality? Without having to learn RDF? We invariably recontextualize wireless Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think real-world. Think resource-constrained. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We often whiteboard customer-defined infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. Without adequate out-of-the-box research and development, mindshare are forced to become strategic. We always facilitate global Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think reality-based.