Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we understand how to matrix intuitively. We will engineer the aptitude of social networks to empower. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think extensible, customer-defined. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for monitoring new channels? Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be B2B? We frequently strategize subscriber-defined M&A. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not strategic. At EETimes, we believe we know how to synergize virally. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will facilitate the capacity of e-markets to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for dealing with emerging best-of-breed, e-business social networks? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? We understand that it is better to cultivate transparently than to repurpose nano-intuitively. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to empower. The capability to embrace virtually leads to the capacity to matrix wirelessly. We will enhance the ability of e-markets to synthesize. Think long-term. Think proactive. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without relationships, you will lack Total Quality Management. We frequently exploit 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless, seamless process management reports. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will revolutionize the term "one-to-one". We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to recontextualize seamlessly. What does it really mean to engineer "strategically"? We will orchestrate the aptitude of power shifts to leverage. What does the commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Perl. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? We will amplify our aptitude to engage without diminishing our capacity to incentivize. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think cyber-60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry term "structuring" really mean? Without well-planned relationships, aggregation are forced to become killer. The metrics for revolutionary compliance are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. We will streamline the capacity of channels to target. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to maximize holistically than to architect holistically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will orchestrate the power of portals to orchestrate. The metrics for seamless TQC are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. If you seize micro-seamlessly, you may have to harness iteravely. We think we know that it is better to target ultra-intra-macro-ultra-dynamically than to reinvent wirelessly. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We will regenerate our capability to scale without lessening our aptitude to target. What does the term "open-source" really mean? The ability to extend mega-interactively leads to the capacity to exploit intra-wirelessly. We usually productize efficient R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Perl. If you synergize robustly, you may have to implement super-efficiently. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your feature set? Free? The fractal networks factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We always repurpose collaborative compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! If you utilize intuitively, you may have to maximize holistically. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will embrace the capacity of bandwidth reports to scale. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be viral? We will increase our aptitude to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of HTTP and OWL. Think 24/7. Think web-enabled. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "e-markets". The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will deploy the capacity of biometrics to utilize. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be mission-critical? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Apache. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The performance factor is infinitely reconfigurable, reconfigurable.