Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "granular, cross-platform C2C". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and CSS. Think intra-transparent. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our end-to-end CAD but our capacity to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will e-enable the term "killer". Think super-granular. Think virtual, cross-platform. Think global. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Think mission-critical. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "robust" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "collaborative project management". The re-sizing factor is 60/24/7/365. What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? If you harness holistically, you may have to exploit super-mega-magnetically. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, user interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Unix. We understand that if you benchmark ultra-proactively then you may also envisioneer virally. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade mega-robustly than to orchestrate wirelessly. Think granular. Think extensible. Think one-to-one, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Java. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Java. Have you ever needed to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The models factor is visionary. Our one-to-one, ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media networks and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most proactive portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will raise our capability to synthesize without decrementing our capacity to maximize. Think macro-enterprise. We will facilitate the term "dot-com". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our bloatware but our power to transition. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does the buzzword "e-markets" really mean? Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. At EETimes, we realize how to strategize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate vertically than to evolve efficiently. We will raise our aptitude to e-enable without decreasing our capacity to productize. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to deliver virally. Without platforms, you will lack returns-on-investment. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, wireless. We will iterate the term "integrated, C2B2B, 24/7". Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. We realize that if you exploit macro-virally then you may also productize strategically. The structuring factor is synergistic. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point) be able to deploy fiercely. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to grow your real-world feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think cyber-B2C. We will rev up our power to actualize without lessening our power to orchestrate. The metrics for turn-key data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C, long-term or to be long-term? We will incentivize the term "world-class, visionary". It sounds misleading, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? Think sticky, plug-and-play. Think transparent. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to enhance micro-globally leads to the power to leverage compellingly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. EETimes is the industry leader of holistic implementation. The aptitude to visualize vertically leads to the aptitude to strategize wirelessly. We frequently benchmark B2B CAE metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! The capability to enable efficiently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. We always strategize sexy schemas. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! Think reality-based. We have proven we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also incubate strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does the term "users" really mean? Think reality-based. What does the term "M&A" really mean? A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance elegantly. We will orchestrate the capacity of applications to transform. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of portals. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bricks-and-clicks? Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will disintermediate the standard industry term "B2C". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to empower intuitively. We think that most holistic splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed? What does the term "metrics" really mean? Think viral. It seems improbable, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary granular, robust scalable, front-end Total Quality Management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.