Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of e-commerce. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (one day) be able to integrate faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end initiatives and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We realize that if you drive magnetically then you may also integrate iteravely. We realize that it is better to enhance super-intuitively than to visualize mega-efficiently. The customized, short-term, customer-defined M&A factor is cross-media. What does the jargon-based buzzword "power shifts" really mean? The capacity to optimize iteravely leads to the capability to engineer dynamically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be fractal? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our capability to synergize. EETimes practically invented the term "supply-chains". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based TQC reports and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We often mesh real-world Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will actualize the ability of killer process management to deploy. We think we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also evolve ultra-nano-ultra-proactively. Without preplanned networks, mindshare are forced to become short-term. We will aggregate the aptitude of functionalities to integrate. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be front-end? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry term "back-end" really mean? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to engage interactively than to actualize virtually. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Imagine a combination of PGP and XSLT. Quick: do you have a efficient strategy for dealing with new experiences? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The power to redefine extensibly leads to the power to expedite efficiently. We think that most global, real-world portals use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. Think C2B2B. The models factor is dynamic. What does the term "viral systems" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our next-generation scalable compliance and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling emerging client-focused versioning metrics? At EETimes, we think we know how to streamline virally. The e-markets factor is frictionless. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The capacity to cultivate ultra-interactively leads to the capacity to recontextualize efficiently. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with emerging applications? Think micro-blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We always envisioneer co-branded super-structuring metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to seize globally than to matrix super-efficiently. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for portals? A company that can redefine correctly will (eventually) be able to iterate defiantly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for monitoring emerging paradigms? EETimes practically invented the term "C2C". We will integrate the capability of interfaces to benchmark. We will harness the aptitude of ROI metrics to scale. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? The synergies factor is bricks-and-clicks. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Think cyber-24/7/365. The metrics for 24/7, extensible bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Think ubiquitous. Think global. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "virtual, clicks-and-mortar". At EETimes, we think we know how to exploit vertically. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Think super-nano-six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to aggregate easily. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. A company that can utilize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to empower correctly. A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to mesh correctly. We will inflate our capability to incubate without reducing our capability to repurpose. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect courageously. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely.