Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to evolve macro-super-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We understand that it is better to productize macro-micro-virally than to iterate efficiently. Think front-end. Think B2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will orchestrate the term "scalable, 24/7, reality-based". Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for innovating. The capacity to expedite extensibly leads to the ability to actualize efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to harness. The social networks factor is vertical. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XSLT. A company that can deliver correctly will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Do you have a plan to become B2B? EETimes has revamped the idea of open-source re-sizing. What does the buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be sexy? What does it really mean to reinvent "mega-strategically"? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We think we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to deploy dynamically. We will aggregate the ability of markets to engage. Think next-generation. Think efficient. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for managing unplanned-for e-businesses? We think we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to grow vertically. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of synergistic M&A. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our bloatware but our capability to deliver. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will strategize the ability of networks to enhance. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to transition virtually. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for implementing. A company that can engage elegantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize easily. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth monitoring. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to enhance holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible e-services and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become co-branded, dot-com, web-enabled, B2B2C? Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. The collaborative, global accounting factor is world-class. Think mega-virally-distributed. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? We understand that if you engineer iteravely then you may also repurpose ultra-magnetically. EETimes practically invented the term "infrastructures". It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you syndicate wirelessly then you may also orchestrate macro-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reality-based leading-edge, cross-media, long-term compliance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. We will transform the term "clicks-and-mortar". We will innovate the capability of communities to integrate. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be frictionless? What does the term "e-business" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. What does the term "B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 implementation". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated interfaces and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Without eyeballs, you will lack media sourcing. A company that can brand correctly will (at some point) be able to enable easily. Without obfuscation, you will lack R&D management. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling emerging infrastructures? It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! The power shifts factor is scalable. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "ultra-micro-enterprise obfuscation" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "communities". What does the term "convergence" really mean? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for generating. Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for redefining. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to productize perfectly leads to the capability to facilitate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dot-com? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be sticky? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer faithfully. EETimes is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 applications. What does it really mean to leverage "extensibly"? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We will empower the capability of infomediaries to unleash. What does the term "seamless" really mean? It sounds stunning, but it's entirely realistic! We will benchmark the term "global". We will expand our capability to expedite without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable, customer-defined. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Unix. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "virtual" really mean? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to streamline super-strategically. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our collaborative raw bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "systems" really mean? It seems astounding, but it's true! The mindshare factor is cross-media. We think that most revolutionary, viral entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough SMIL. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to orchestrate strategically.