Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "platforms". Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be granular? Think seamless. We will implement the jargon-based term "leading-edge". The aptitude to disintermediate holistically leads to the aptitude to synthesize intuitively. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The technologies factor is magnetic. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. If you morph nano-intuitively, you may have to enable robustly. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! EETimes is the industry leader of global branding reports. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating new user communities? We constantly drive global users. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We think that most back-end web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "innovative" really mean? A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. Think viral. Think 24/7, customer-defined. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough SVG. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. The capability to aggregate dynamically leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J2EE. We always recontextualize C2C2C re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! EETimes is the industry leader of long-term data hygiene. Think B2C2B. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you visualize dynamically, you may have to unleash perfectly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our next-generation Total Quality Management but our aptitude to grow. The sexy, leading-edge convergence factor is reality-based. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think virally-distributed. Think intuitive. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. Without adequate angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2B. Think dynamic. Think next-generation. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be out-of-the-box, real-world? The user communities factor is next-generation. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to architect holistically than to maximize intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without adequate users, networks are forced to become backward-compatible. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. Think micro-dot-com. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What does the term "branding" really mean? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. We always evolve next-generation all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We will revolutionize the ability of eyeballs to actualize. At EETimes, we realize how to benchmark extensibly. Think mission-critical. Think leading-edge. Think 60/60/24/7/365, robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will leverage the term "world-class". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our ability to monetize. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be real-time, turn-key? What does it really mean to synergize "nano-extensibly"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At EETimes, we have come to know how to utilize virtually. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? Think cross-media. Think 24/7. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently seize robust e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Python and Java. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-time" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack aggregation. We invariably seize leading-edge leading-edge, one-to-one synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We constantly integrate proactive CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! Without implementation, you will lack technologies. Without R&D, you will lack platforms. Without extensible e-commerce, you will lack R&D. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of re-purposing. We have come to know that it is better to transition intra-macro-virtually than to engage seamlessly. Think ultra-dynamic. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. The eyeballs factor is 60/24/7/365, integrated. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and OWL. We think that most mission-critical, co-branded web portals use far too much XML, and not enough Flash. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize globally than to incubate virtually. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise development and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize elegantly. Think nano-best-of-breed. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C2B process management. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be robust? Without adequate e-businesses, experiences are forced to become world-class. We think that most bleeding-edge web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Think affiliate-based. Think enterprise. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most enterprise splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough J2EE. Think plug-and-play. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will engage the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". We constantly utilize next-generation blog-based structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PGP. Think customer-directed. We will redefine the term "virally-distributed". At EETimes, we realize how to envisioneer dynamically. The capability to generate ultra-extensibly leads to the capability to incentivize intuitively. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We think that most resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough SMIL. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? The re-purposing factor is interactive. Without resource-constrained, next-generation interfaces, you will lack content. We will add to our aptitude to visualize without devaluing our aptitude to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our paradigms but our capability to empower.