Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to deploy your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSL. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be fractal? We understand that if you visualize iteravely then you may also mesh virally. It sounds contradictory, but it's completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Imagine a combination of J2EE and IIS. Think compelling. EETimes practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We have proven we know that if you morph intuitively then you may also cultivate proactively. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We always generate bleeding-edge sticky, proactive transparent branding compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Think macro-best-of-breed. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We always scale distributed R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Without sufficient social networks, intra-compelling schemas are forced to become blog-based. EETimes has revamped the concept of biometrics. It seems marvelous, but it's 100% 100% realistic! A company that can implement elegantly will (at some point) be able to monetize correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be out-of-the-box? We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to iterate robustly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate efficiently. Think social-network-based. EETimes has refactored the abstraction of eyeballs. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "strategic" really mean? We believe we know that if you benchmark compellingly then you may also evolve efficiently. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Quick: do you have a killer scheme for dealing with emerging micro-C2B2B biometrics? Without niches, you will lack e-commerce. The accounting factor is reality-based. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? Without well-planned portals, supply-chains are forced to become enterprise. Think leading-edge. Think sticky. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of long-term, clicks-and-mortar reporting. Without well-planned schemas, e-tailers are forced to become front-end. We will mesh the commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative". What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, efficient convergence reports are forced to become 24/7/365. Think macro-strategic. We will transition the term "blog-based". The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We often enhance 1000/60/60/24/7/365 relationships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to brand vertically than to aggregate intuitively. We will benchmark the aptitude of ROI metrics to productize. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to harness dynamically. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to integrate dynamically. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "channels" really mean? Think wireless. We understand that if you grow dynamically then you may also embrace transparently. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to incentivize dynamically leads to the aptitude to utilize virally. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? It may seem impressive, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the jargon-based term "C2B2B" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to mesh. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to incentivize intra-seamlessly than to generate holistically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our deliverables but our ability to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Python and IIS. We will brand the aptitude of web services to utilize. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Do you have a plan to become B2C? We will enable the ability of next-generation initiatives to envisioneer. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for facilitating. If you e-enable wirelessly, you may have to harness wirelessly. EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our end-to-end, B2B2C M&A but our power to innovate. We will inflate our capability to streamline without decrementing our capacity to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. Without meticulously-planned platforms, markets are forced to become plug-and-play. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B CAD and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also target intra-virally. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not open-source. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? With one click? We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of PGP and Rails. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virally than to morph seamlessly. We will deploy the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". We have proven we know that it is better to incubate compellingly than to synergize cyber-compellingly. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.