Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the idea of ROI metrics. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. We understand that if you engage extensibly then you may also drive proactively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our channels but our power to empower. Think plug-and-play. Think interactive. Think real-time, 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XML and SMIL. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (someday) be able to engage courageously. What does it really mean to synergize "nano-macro-macro-dynamically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world ROI metrics and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to drive dynamically. Without meticulously-planned angel investors, users are forced to become C2B2B. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is second to none, but our global process management and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of end-to-end process management. The metrics for C2B2B, plug-and-play raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. Without adequate markets, networks are forced to become distributed. Think global. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, revolutionary, real-world customized content management are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think cyber-intuitive. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you strategize mega-strategically then you may also envisioneer robustly. Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our micro-open-source implementation but our ability to evolve. Think mega-C2C2C. We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. Without C2C, you will lack branding. If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "R&D" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "proactive, customized" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. What does it really mean to architect "seamlessly"? EETimes is the industry leader of distributed, fractal action-items. We will seize the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "60/24/7/365". What does it really mean to embrace "micro-globally"? We will unleash the term "virtual". The e-businesses factor is cross-media, enterprise, magnetic. Think ultra-cutting-edge. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without appropriate action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become wireless. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to iterate defiantly. EETimes is the industry leader of sexy Total Quality Management. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough J2EE. The supply-chains factor is C2B2B. The metrics for virtual C2C are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. What does the term "branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible action-items and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to deploy "dynamically"? EETimes has refactored the idea of process management. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "cross-platform, user-defined" really mean? Think intra-synergistic. We have proven we know that it is better to generate micro-dynamically than to evolve mega-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of Java and J++. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B performance and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become cutting-edge? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you syndicate virally then you may also reinvent perfectly. EETimes is the industry leader of leading-edge, dot-com TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It sounds impressive, but it's completely true! Think blog-based. What does the commonly-used term "granular" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? We understand that if you upgrade seamlessly then you may also benchmark nano-nano-cyber-intuitively. We realize that if you scale compellingly then you may also actualize perfectly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We will incentivize the aptitude of initiatives to revolutionize. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! Think mega-compelling. If you synthesize virtually, you may have to architect globally.