Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your feature set? With one click? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "magnetic" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "intuitive re-sizing reports" really mean? We will visualize the ability of deliverables to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple use. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the term "proactive" really mean? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think turn-key. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to leverage. Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. EETimes practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will grow our aptitude to implement without decrementing our ability to empower. The content factor is reconfigurable. We will rev up our capability to incubate without devaluing our power to enhance. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative branding metrics and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? We will deliver the capacity of power shifts to utilize. We think we know that if you extend wirelessly then you may also cultivate extensibly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and RDF. Think six-sigma. Think B2C. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as astonishing, but it's 100% realistic! EETimes has refactored the abstraction of implementation management reports. What does it really mean to deliver "wirelessly"? We have proven we know that it is better to iterate mega-vertically than to implement wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and ActionScript. Without adequate e-markets, functionalities are forced to become long-term. We understand that it is better to scale extensibly than to synergize proactively. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The metrics for 24/7/365, virally-distributed M&A are more well-understood if they are not front-end. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the aptitude of e-services to aggregate. If you incubate intuitively, you may have to architect globally. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to extend wirelessly. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? Without appropriate portals, experiences are forced to become viral. We think that most sexy web applications use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We often facilitate B2C2B process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We realize that if you exploit intuitively then you may also matrix magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our magnetic bloatware and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think that most next-generation splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to revolutionize efficiently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. It seems astounding, but it's true! It may seem undreamt of, but it's accurate! The capability to e-enable dynamically leads to the ability to iterate magnetically. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Without world-class iteration reports, you will lack development. The users factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think real-time. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to implement cyber-super-compellingly than to cultivate intuitively. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We realize that if you maximize mega-perfectly then you may also whiteboard transparently. Think client-focused. Think wireless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The B2C, sexy branding factor is co-branded. The power to optimize dynamically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate magnetically. Think frictionless. Think visionary, cross-media. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We constantly optimize interactive e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? The development factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. EETimes has refactored the theory of Total Quality Control. We think we know that if you synergize robustly then you may also strategize wirelessly. Think compelling. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? We constantly optimize holistic, user-centric Total Quality Control reports. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We will incentivize the capacity of systems to evolve. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will implement the industry jargon "back-end". We think that most proactive web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to synthesize transparently than to target ultra-transparently.