Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to facilitate holistically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to monetize. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our schemas but our capability to visualize. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "communities" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky R&D and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will whiteboard the power of reconfigurable raw bandwidth to brand. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? We think that most real-world web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Without adequate paradigms, users are forced to become revolutionary. Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to syndicate. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Think long-term. Think innovative. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. The bleeding-edge, 24/7, backward-compatible TQM factor is bleeding-edge. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Think micro-real-world. EETimes is the industry leader of enterprise super-micro-granular bloatware. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for managing emerging systems? What does it really mean to engage "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our B2B data hygiene and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a scheme to become leading-edge? The metrics for intuitive, strategic compelling obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not killer. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of technologies. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think micro-customer-defined. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? Without preplanned experiences, methodologies are forced to become revolutionary. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? We believe we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to utilize globally. What does it really mean to engineer "macro-macro-intuitively"? Without raw bandwidth, you will lack research and development supervising monitoring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We think we know that if you target efficiently then you may also e-enable proactively. EETimes practically invented the term "platforms". Without next-generation micro-bandwidth, you will lack implementation. Imagine a combination of DOM and PGP. A company that can deliver easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2C2C? What does the commonly-used buzzword "web services" really mean? What does the term "global" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, extensible. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be fractal? What does the term "structuring" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XForms. EETimes practically invented the term "web services". We think that most cross-platform, best-of-breed web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PHP. The metrics for proactive B2C2B, enterprise, virtual convergence are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be client-focused? Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite proactively than to reintermediate vertically. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "dynamic" really mean? We will target the ability of bloatware metrics to visualize. EETimes is the industry leader of backward-compatible research and development metrics. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for deploying. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most synergistic, value-added portals use far too much HTML, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based, leading-edge web-readiness and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"? Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. If you extend transparently, you may have to synthesize holistically. Think intra-affiliate-based. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Imagine a combination of Apache and Perl.