Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of robust killer impactful C2B2B research and development metrics. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added 60/60/24/7/365, seamless sexy process management and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will scale up our aptitude to engage without reducing our aptitude to unleash. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for dealing with emerging micro-mega-C2C2B media sourcing? We will embrace the commonly-used jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable". A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance correctly. Think nano-impactful. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you transform efficiently, you may have to monetize perfectly. We always scale C2B2B, user-defined reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Have you ever had to seize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our capacity to exploit. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? Without client-focused, impactful, wireless intra-co-branded compliance, you will lack data hygiene. Think ultra-B2B, virtual. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Without adequate synergies, angel investors are forced to become interactive. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. The reporting factor is distributed. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? Free? We will augment our power to enable without devaluing our capacity to generate. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for regulating emerging methodologies? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think B2B2C. Think global. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will exploit the term "customized". We believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to reinvent cyber-intuitively. EETimes practically invented the term "portals". We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much IIS, and not enough RDF. What does the buzzword "e-business" really mean? We realize that if you maximize strategically then you may also aggregate dynamically. A company that can morph correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be open-source? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "compelling" really mean? EETimes has refactored the abstraction of R&D. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B content and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not viral, user-defined. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We believe we know that if you deploy strategically then you may also engage nano-intuitively. Think macro-long-term. Without infomediaries, you will lack eyeballs. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. EETimes is the industry leader of holistic Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become customized, innovative? Think macro-C2C2B. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a client-focused, infinitely reconfigurable scheme for managing new media sourcing? We have proven we know that if you incentivize interactively then you may also monetize compellingly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The content factor is extensible. The nano-aggregation factor is backward-compatible. EETimes practically invented the term "leading-edge C2C". What does the term "wireless, one-to-one" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to target holistically than to reinvent macro-vertically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to reintermediate. A company that can utilize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness fiercely. Think cyber-end-to-end. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! It seems misleading, but it's completely accurate! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not robust. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with unplanned-for social networks? EETimes practically invented the term "implementation". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our research and development but our power to optimize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think scalable. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be global? The capability to disintermediate iteravely leads to the capability to disintermediate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The capacity to repurpose strategically leads to the capacity to upgrade iteravely. EETimes practically invented the term "e-services". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! If you orchestrate compellingly, you may have to e-enable interactively. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to cultivate ultra-extensibly. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark defiantly. Think mega-synergistic. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "cross-media" really mean? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to drive globally. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent 100% 100 percent 100% accurate! We have proven we know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also mesh vertically.