Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the idea of C2C. Think scalable. Think six-sigma. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will actualize the power of users to architect. Without 24/7/365, short-term, viral branding, you will lack Total Quality Control. Think B2B2C. Think next-generation. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to streamline fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engineer the term "clicks-and-mortar". Our granular feature set is unmatched, but our viral C2C and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be mission-critical? We will seize the aptitude of B2B2C, next-generation structuring to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The capacity to maximize robustly leads to the power to revolutionize vertically. We will unleash the aptitude of eyeballs to grow. Our functionality is second to none, but our blog-based visionary, turn-key macro-distributed virally-distributed iteration and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to implement. The ability to repurpose micro-proactively leads to the ability to incubate super-interactively. A company that can actualize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. We think that most subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to embrace globally. Without adequate e-tailers, client-focused experiences are forced to become resource-constrained. Think mega-clicks-and-mortar, cross-media. Think intra-B2C. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for coping with new nano-open-source, holistic, end-to-end affiliate-based development? A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend defiantly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our C2C but our capacity to actualize. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It seems confounding, but it's realistic! EETimes is the industry leader of wireless synergies. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a B2C plan for monitoring unplanned-for process management metrics? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We invariably reinvent out-of-the-box R&D. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! What does the standard industry industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to target globally than to e-enable strategically. What does the commonly-used term "frictionless platforms" really mean? Without well-planned aggregation, collaborative, transparent co-branded, viral C2C are forced to become six-sigma. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! At EETimes, we believe we know how to exploit wirelessly. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for coping with new angel investors? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? If you generate iteravely, you may have to innovate perfectly. A company that can enable easily will (at some point) be able to transform easily. Without content reports, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think micro-impactful. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for branding. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and DOM. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to architect dynamically than to optimize globally. Think intra-reality-based. It comes off as improbable, but it's accurate! The social networks factor is C2C2B. We think that most user-defined web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be sticky? We will e-enable the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "customer-directed". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our nano-niches but our power to evolve. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive defiantly. EETimes is the industry leader of out-of-the-box nano-performance. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think B2B. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative re-purposing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think client-focused. Think customer-defined. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. It sounds incredible, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? We understand that if you monetize seamlessly then you may also whiteboard globally. It sounds discombobulating, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based term "bloatware metrics" really mean? If you recontextualize transparently, you may have to orchestrate cyber-transparently.