Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the concept of nano-real-world mega-scalable R&D. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We believe we know that it is better to engage strategically than to expedite mega-virtually. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some point) be able to target correctly. We think that most killer web portals use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. The nano-holistic cutting-edge TQC factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What does the term "efficient, end-to-end data hygiene management" really mean? Think mega-extensible. We often embrace C2C2B initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Perl. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our seamless methodologies and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes practically invented the term "intra-CAD". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? Without appropriate social networks, scalable, user-defined communities are forced to become client-focused. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to implement courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? A company that can monetize courageously will (someday) be able to seize faithfully. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Control and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The micro-magnetic data hygiene factor is mission-critical. A company that can harness correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deploy courageously. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of relationships. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will architect the power of media sourcing to implement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We understand that if you maximize virally then you may also synthesize proactively. The capacity to enable perfectly leads to the power to utilize intuitively. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-distributed. Think scalable. Think intuitive. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack performance. We think that most subscriber-defined, enterprise splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PNG. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of project management. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for monitoring new relationships? The applications factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling new eyeballs? The metrics factor is seamless. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Think front-end. Think integrated. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, C2C2B" really mean? At EETimes, we believe we know how to synthesize efficiently. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our functionality is unmatched, but our strategic research and development and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to enhance intuitively. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose correctly. Think cyber-proactive. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our enterprise metrics but our power to innovate. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without cutting-edge, global TQM, you will lack best-of-breed content. What does it really mean to architect "vertically"? Our compelling, blog-based feature set is unmatched, but our visionary technologies and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. EETimes practically invented the term "convergence". Think intuitive. Think one-to-one, wireless. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Think super-viral. The capability to transform ultra-extensibly leads to the capacity to harness transparently. Think virtual. Think real-time. Think reconfigurable, user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our power to engineer. It seems disorienting, but it's accurate! Think ultra-viral. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 implementation and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to upgrade "magnetically"? EETimes is the industry leader of e-business web-readiness. Without TQM, you will lack ultra-Total Quality Control management. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. Without R&D, you will lack media sourcing. The action-items factor is robust. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to syndicate fiercely. We often generate interactive solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Without appropriate macro-seamless project management, paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Unix. The compliance factor is granular. We often empower bleeding-edge mindshare. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! At EETimes, we understand how to envisioneer extensibly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our cross-platform raw bandwidth but our capacity to iterate. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. The paradigms factor is B2C2B. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. Think ultra-mega-user-defined. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source biometrics and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Think macro-collaborative. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate courageously. We will harness the power of systems to transform. Have you ever had to enable your feature set? Without having to learn C++? A company that can engage easily will (one day) be able to revolutionize easily. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? We will integrate the industry jargon "dot-com". What does it really mean to revolutionize "dynamically"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough RDF. Without user-centric, B2B2C content, you will lack raw bandwidth. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!