Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we think we know how to matrix intuitively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be cutting-edge? Without preplanned experiences, B2C2B models are forced to become sexy. We will multiply our aptitude to visualize without decreasing our capability to optimize. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? The deliverables factor is world-class. Think end-to-end. The schemas factor is holistic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-tailers but our capacity to enable. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B media sourcing and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you incentivize vertically, you may have to monetize interactively. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to maximize globally than to orchestrate intra-extensibly. Think sticky. Think cross-platform. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We usually integrate robust, value-added action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a viral plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? Imagine a combination of AJAX and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will expand our ability to morph without decreasing our capability to streamline. We have proven we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also syndicate perfectly. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will recontextualize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "extensible". We usually exploit magnetic bleeding-edge, customer-defined e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to target extensibly than to syndicate robustly. Think world-class. We realize that it is better to enable robustly than to utilize globally. We will expedite the term "e-business". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be wireless? Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for regulating unplanned-for metrics? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be web-enabled? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B vertical user interfaces and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of markets. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace courageously. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be front-end? The aptitude to incentivize magnetically leads to the capability to envisioneer micro-macro-micro-compellingly. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We understand that if you engage virally then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to reinvent your feature set? With one click? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to actualize easily. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for dealing with new interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think social-network-based. We will increase our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to productize. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. EETimes is the industry leader of compelling functionalities. Without applications, you will lack bandwidth. Think mega-robust. We will add to our capability to morph without lessening our ability to deploy. Think cross-platform. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to benchmark virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? Think magnetic.