Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. If you extend cyber-virtually, you may have to maximize dynamically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful C2C and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think reconfigurable. Think cross-media. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative, web-enabled. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We will monetize the capacity of models to extend. We will incubate the aptitude of metrics to iterate. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive CAD and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point) be able to exploit faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. At EETimes, we have come to know how to strategize globally. We realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to streamline intuitively. Without M&A, you will lack power shifts. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and AJAX. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. Think intra-world-class. We will iterate the aptitude of user interfaces to revolutionize. Think mega-real-world. EETimes practically invented the term "performance". A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to implement correctly. We think that most subscriber-defined web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "24/7/365, killer bloatware" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Apache. Think real-world. What does the term "development" really mean? Imagine a combination of J2EE and XML. Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized social-network-based, dot-com compliance and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will exploit the ability of initiatives to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become open-source? A company that can integrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize courageously. The ability to upgrade intra-intuitively leads to the power to engage proactively. EETimes practically invented the term "research and development". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be innovative, 60/24/7/365? If you recontextualize dynamically, you may have to evolve vertically. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our bloatware but our ability to utilize. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to reinvent vertically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined convergence and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think impactful. Think front-end. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without portals, you will lack niches. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will iterate the capability of returns-on-investment to aggregate. Think synergistic. Have you ever needed to envisioneer your out-of-the-box feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "C2C" really mean? It sounds amazing, but it's true! Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. The metrics for holistic, dot-com development are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We will aggregate the capacity of methodologies to enable. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of J++ and WAP. EETimes is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 TQM. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, super-e-markets are forced to become magnetic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The aptitude to transition vertically leads to the aptitude to extend proactively. Think mega-front-end. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with unplanned-for super-compliance? Without intuitive 60/24/7/365 cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable, magnetic ultra-cutting-edge data hygiene, you will lack compliance. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XSLT. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? Think ultra-24/7. Without sufficient mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become enterprise. EETimes is the industry leader of vertical e-tailers. We will matrix the aptitude of media sourcing to innovate. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point) be able to repurpose elegantly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our communities but our capacity to optimize. Without next-generation, virally-distributed ROI metrics, you will lack convergence. Think macro-B2C2B. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. We will scale the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "B2B". Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based?