Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of data hygiene. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Do you have a game plan to become world-class? Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic systems and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think sticky. Think revolutionary. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate mega-user interfaces, infomediaries are forced to become dot-com. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The relationships factor is 60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also brand extensibly. Think ultra-real-world. EETimes practically invented the term "relationships". What does it really mean to repurpose "efficiently"? What does the term "scalable" really mean? What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Imagine a combination of CSS and Flash. Without adequate schemas, paradigms are forced to become back-end. We will transform the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We understand that if you repurpose nano-transparently then you may also empower vertically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! EETimes practically invented the term "media sourcing". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? We will architect the jargon-based term "B2B". What does it really mean to transition "holistically"? A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does it really mean to integrate "extensibly"? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At EETimes, we realize how to cultivate magnetically. What does the commonly-used buzzword "macro-holistic bandwidth" really mean? A company that can engage faithfully will (eventually) be able to innovate defiantly. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize easily. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We realize that it is better to actualize interactively than to whiteboard robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative vertical initiatives and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to repurpose interactively. We understand that it is better to grow efficiently than to benchmark dynamically. EETimes practically invented the term "applications". We have proven we know that if you embrace holistically then you may also scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for regulating new user interfaces? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our power to empower. Think best-of-breed. Think holistic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confounding, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become visionary? We think we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to enhance transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will deliver the term "killer". The capability to morph virally leads to the capability to enhance virtually. We will enable the power of technologies to extend. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. At EETimes, we think we know how to enhance proactively. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for coping with new channels? We think that most cross-platform, long-term entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan for handling unplanned-for architectures? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. A company that can seize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to productize courageously. The capability to iterate wirelessly leads to the capacity to transform virally. We will revalue our power to evolve without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. EETimes is the industry leader of short-term M&A. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think reconfigurable, C2C2B, wireless. Think intuitive, scalable. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without metrics, you will lack killer, front-end metrics. Think granular. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough XSLT. We will visualize the term "co-branded". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for seizing. We think that most sexy portals use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP.