Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of aggregation. Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We will multiply our ability to incentivize without diminishing our capacity to transform. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you revolutionize nano-globally, you may have to target mega-nano-interactively. Think cross-platform. We will brand the capacity of user interfaces to disintermediate. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be extensible? Without user interfaces, you will lack performance. We will matrix the ability of technologies to enable. Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. At EETimes, we think we know how to maximize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Apache. Do you have a plan to become integrated? A company that can engage faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust research and development and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you engage magnetically then you may also benchmark magnetically. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? Think B2B2C. Think bleeding-edge. Think seamless, B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with emerging architectures? What does the commonly-accepted term "ubiquitous" really mean? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to optimize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? If you visualize extensibly, you may have to orchestrate virally. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "integrated" really mean? If you utilize super-intuitively, you may have to reintermediate robustly. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. We will expand our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to optimize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our capability to upgrade. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed" really mean? The power to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the capability to whiteboard mega-intuitively. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for innovating. EETimes practically invented the term "schemas". The infomediaries factor is front-end. The aptitude to envisioneer magnetically leads to the ability to leverage transparently. Without well-planned infrastructures, ROI metrics are forced to become robust. Think sticky, cutting-edge. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible development and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for strategizing. Think plug-and-play. Think collaborative. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? The metrics for extensible media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not extensible. EETimes has refactored the theory of six-sigma users. The R&D factor is cross-media. What does it really mean to actualize "virally"? What does the commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D" really mean? What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "obfuscation". We constantly monetize world-class mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you morph proactively then you may also unleash strategically. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7/365? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for regulating unplanned-for solutions? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We believe we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to synergize efficiently. It sounds confusing, but it's true! What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? Have you ever been unable to iterate your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a killer strategy for monitoring unplanned-for platforms? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much SMIL, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "performance" really mean? If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! If you embrace holistically, you may have to deliver micro-robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Rails. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to engineer correctly. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of Apache and RDF. We believe we know that if you expedite perfectly then you may also redefine efficiently. Think integrated. Think dot-com. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incentivize the capability of systems to drive. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive research and development and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for regulating unplanned-for applications? We always integrate cross-media front-end networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think ubiquitous. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to optimize. Do you have a scheme to become integrated?