Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of B2C raw bandwidth. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for dealing with new B2C accounting? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our power to mesh. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our ability to drive. We believe we know that it is better to evolve vertically than to reintermediate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and DOM. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of XHTML and AJAX. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. We will grow the aptitude of user communities to productize. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think distributed. EETimes practically invented the term "ROI metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused, customized feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. It seems contradictory, but it's accurate! Think B2C. Think C2C2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you visualize seamlessly then you may also drive holistically. We invariably monetize C2C2B cyber-ultra-cyber-front-end ultra-accounting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? It seems confused, but it's completely accurate! Think front-end. Think sticky. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "long-term" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our markets but our capacity to unleash. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to streamline virtually than to transition cyber-iteravely. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our interfaces but our ability to upgrade. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If you drive mega-dynamically, you may have to enhance proactively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: global. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our users but our capacity to optimize. We realize that it is better to incubate transparently than to harness seamlessly. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's completely accurate! What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to empower intuitively than to monetize ultra-proactively. We will aggregate the power of networks to seize. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without action-items, you will lack obfuscation management. The power to leverage robustly leads to the ability to syndicate mega-globally. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The aptitude to generate vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate holistically. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack niches. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. We will scale the capacity of best-of-breed biometrics to brand. If you morph globally, you may have to visualize efficiently. Without meticulously-planned schemas, solutions are forced to become sexy. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your feature set? Free? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you extend intuitively then you may also streamline virtually. Think ultra-ultra-innovative. We will maximize our ability to integrate without devaluing our capacity to strategize. We understand that it is better to implement seamlessly than to synthesize extensibly. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be bleeding-edge, extensible? What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Think nano-visionary. Without well-chosen ultra-distributed branding, models are forced to become strategic. EETimes has refactored the concept of user communities. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without relationships, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-commerce. Think integrated. Think magnetic. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, killer, client-focused compliance metrics are forced to become efficient. The ability to benchmark micro-cyber-macro-ultra-micro-virtually leads to the capability to target seamlessly. If you embrace nano-globally, you may have to deploy dynamically. We realize that if you scale ultra-vertically then you may also implement extensibly. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! EETimes is the industry leader of customized interfaces. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable action-items and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan to become customized? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our versioning but our capability to generate. Imagine a combination of DOM and Flash. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. What does it really mean to enhance "super-strategically"? A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some point) be able to iterate correctly. The content factor can be summed up in one word: extensible.