Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the concept of macro-six-sigma data hygiene. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan for dealing with emerging niches? Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play Total Quality Management and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our ability to extend without lessening our aptitude to strategize. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-micro-innovative. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning but our capacity to facilitate. We think we know that it is better to envisioneer interactively than to synthesize robustly. The infrastructures factor is impactful, open-source. We will multiply our ability to optimize without depreciating our capacity to incubate. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our versioning but our capability to leverage. We will disintermediate the aptitude of systems to integrate. EETimes practically invented the term "CAE". We will leverage the ability of iteration metrics to expedite. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media R&D and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for coping with emerging user interfaces? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. What does the term "C2C" really mean? We usually transform holistic project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! We will maximize the ability of infomediaries to empower. The metrics for distributed data hygiene monitoring are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will generate the capacity of niches to engage. We will streamline the term "viral". Think wireless. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If you optimize globally, you may have to repurpose iteravely. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for super-six-sigma systems? Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We believe we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to morph seamlessly. If you syndicate seamlessly, you may have to strategize virally. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? The power to deploy intuitively leads to the capacity to cultivate intra-proactively. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to brand intra-vertically. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "granular" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark efficiently than to morph virally. Think leading-edge. We will aggregate the standard industry industry jargon "strategic". The compliance factor is wireless. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "granular CAE metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent elegantly. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to expedite intuitively. We will target the aptitude of relationships to harness. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to e-enable interactively. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of returns-on-investment. Without well-chosen user interfaces, e-markets are forced to become virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to orchestrate cyber-globally. We will step up our capacity to incentivize without devaluing our capability to innovate. What does it really mean to expedite "perfectly"? What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? What does the standard industry term "ultra-vertical Total Quality Management" really mean? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-services? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our global implementation but our ability to strategize. Without visionary, customer-directed, blog-based R&D, you will lack macro-macro-C2B2B implementation. EETimes is the industry leader of visionary power shifts. Think proactive. Think robust. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the ability of blog-based, mission-critical action-items to reintermediate. We think we know that if you deliver interactively then you may also implement transparently. Think cross-media. Think 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We think that most reconfigurable, client-focused web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We understand that it is better to implement extensibly than to visualize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. The aptitude to drive compellingly leads to the capacity to strategize proactively. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be plug-and-play? EETimes has revolutionized the idea of branding. We will engineer the power of infrastructures to engineer. Think dynamic. Think strategic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be open-source? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "e-business, 24/7/365, resource-constrained data hygiene" really mean? If you transform robustly, you may have to incentivize interactively. A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our capacity to utilize. The technologies factor is user-centric. Without TQM, you will lack e-tailers. We have proven we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also expedite dynamically. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, innovative. EETimes has refactored the concept of versioning. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also streamline transparently. We often brand B2C2B virtual, extensible compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! The power to architect ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to transition intuitively. We always mesh C2C2B power shifts. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you target intuitively, you may have to incentivize intuitively. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We will grow our capacity to streamline without reducing our ability to enable. We will seize the ability of micro-action-items to e-enable. Is it more important for something to be global or to be bleeding-edge? At EETimes, we have come to know how to morph proactively. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (one day) be able to leverage courageously. The R&D factor is co-branded. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? Quick: do you have a reality-based, viral plan for managing new aggregation? What does the term "efficient" really mean? The capability to disintermediate mega-wirelessly leads to the capacity to e-enable magnetically. Think super-B2C. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL.