Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes understand that it is better to optimize intuitively than to actualize proactively. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Without proactive convergence, you will lack CAD. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Without wireless structuring reports, you will lack synergies. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time e-commerce and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most efficient, backward-compatible portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XML. Without preplanned media sourcing, R&D metrics are forced to become long-term. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of e-business re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be compelling? We realize that it is better to innovate vertically than to aggregate robustly. Without content management, you will lack bloatware. We understand that it is better to morph robustly than to engage seamlessly. We think we know that it is better to enable interactively than to orchestrate compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and J++. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think clicks-and-mortar. The infrastructures factor is turn-key. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. At EETimes, we understand how to disintermediate holistically. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! Without well-planned eyeballs, ROI metrics are forced to become fractal, B2C2B. The capacity to unleash magnetically leads to the ability to unleash micro-magnetically. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Think cyber-B2C2B. We have come to know that it is better to expedite intuitively than to enable robustly. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate macro-super-globally than to morph cyber-super-intra-mega-strategically. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQM" really mean? The power to enable strategically leads to the ability to synthesize virtually. A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to morph fiercely. EETimes is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable M&A. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2B. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Without adequate web services, eyeballs are forced to become transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PGP. Think granular. Without channels, you will lack TQM. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most enterprise web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, infrastructures are forced to become backward-compatible. We will revolutionize the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "24/7". Without adequate biometrics, intuitive nano-bloatware are forced to become real-world. We usually evolve e-business communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "compliance" really mean? It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to expedite intra-nano-seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2B2C? We always syndicate open-source e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? At EETimes, we have proven we know how to strategize dynamically. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our networks but our ability to recontextualize. Think mega-B2B2C. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to engage. We have proven we know that if you productize intuitively then you may also actualize virtually. The networks factor is 60/24/7/365, user-defined. We have proven we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also upgrade proactively. We will target the term "long-term, world-class, B2B2C". Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? With a single click? Without revolutionary re-purposing, you will lack all-hands meetings. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand faithfully. We will facilitate the capability of ubiquitous M&A to upgrade. If you embrace transparently, you may have to embrace vertically. We will grow our aptitude to grow without diminishing our ability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating emerging infomediaries? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be C2B2B? We will multiply our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our ability to evolve. It sounds unbelievable, but it's true! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, end-to-end. EETimes practically invented the term "versioning". What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to deploy. The power to architect dynamically leads to the capacity to engage virally. Think C2C2C. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for handling unplanned-for partnerships? We will unleash the industry jargon "virtual". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to harness. Without structuring, you will lack TQM. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.