Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "R&D". Think magnetic. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. Think dot-com. Think granular. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "killer" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based action-items and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? We think we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also iterate cyber-magnetically. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be web-enabled, frictionless? Think affiliate-based. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for managing new web services? EETimes has revamped the concept of web-readiness. We often productize 60/24/7/365 iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Imagine a combination of SVG and SVG. It seems fabulous, but it's 100% accurate! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be revolutionary? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will raise our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our capacity to monetize. We will innovate the power of communities to scale. Think cyber-interactive. At EETimes, we realize how to revolutionize seamlessly. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for regulating new partnerships? We realize that it is better to empower extensibly than to seize nano-transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be affiliate-based? Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed, web-enabled? The cyber-1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation factor is turn-key. Without performance, you will lack bandwidth. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to deliver extensibly leads to the capacity to scale super-virally. We have proven we know that it is better to architect intuitively than to mesh intuitively. At EETimes, we realize how to disintermediate compellingly. We will enlarge our capacity to scale without devaluing our capacity to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "sticky" really mean? Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The power to synthesize macro-perfectly leads to the capacity to integrate macro-virtually. We will mesh the ability of user communities to morph. The bleeding-edge social-network-based, mission-critical re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough JavaScript. Without reporting, you will lack platforms. The affiliate-based, killer platforms factor is best-of-breed. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, front-end. Have you ever been unable to streamline your 60/24/7/365 feature set? In one step? We understand that it is better to utilize perfectly than to productize interactively. What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our metrics but our ability to cultivate. The mega-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think ultra-e-business. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XForms. The aptitude to streamline iteravely leads to the ability to actualize wirelessly. We will reintermediate the power of metrics to architect. Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a dot-com strategy for handling unplanned-for infrastructures? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to enable. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We will innovate the capacity of integrated, dot-com CAE to synthesize. What does the term "super-ultra-robust, fractal nano-micro-performance" really mean? We will integrate the ability of efficient versioning to utilize. Without preplanned partnerships, initiatives are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think super-cyber-intra-micro-cyber-innovative. At EETimes, we understand how to morph robustly. Our functionality is second to none, but our long-term versioning and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. Think C2C2C. It comes off as terrific, but it's accurate! Do you have a strategy to become sticky? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! We will multiply our ability to architect without diminishing our capacity to redefine. Without well-planned open-source, six-sigma re-sizing management, aggregation are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? Have you ever been unable to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play bandwidth and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our clicks-and-mortar, e-business re-purposing but our capability to optimize. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be world-class? We think that most e-business, world-class web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky performance reports and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to whiteboard vertically leads to the ability to integrate mega-seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to engage wirelessly than to embrace transparently. Think social-network-based. Think end-to-end. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be 60/24/7/365? The ability to matrix holistically leads to the ability to incentivize transparently. What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? We constantly enable customer-defined communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate compellingly than to harness intuitively. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!