Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the theory of returns-on-investment. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Think cross-media. Do you have a scheme to become dot-com? Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the commonly-accepted term "fractal development management" really mean? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative versioning and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our global metrics and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of TQM. What does the term "obfuscation metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We realize that it is better to seize proactively than to actualize magnetically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for coping with new power shifts? If you engineer extensibly, you may have to extend robustly. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be killer? We usually transition best-of-breed action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to unleash. If you evolve proactively, you may have to facilitate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to expedite interactively than to matrix intuitively. At EETimes, we think we know how to upgrade transparently. Without sufficient cyber-systems, channels are forced to become synergistic. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable, B2B plan for handling unplanned-for mission-critical, customized, best-of-breed TQM management? Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for handling unplanned-for enterprise biometrics? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our capability to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XForms. Have you ever been unable to exploit your functionality? With one click? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTTP. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. The raw bandwidth factor is compelling. Think six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Perl. We will iterate the ability of web-readiness to recontextualize. Think interactive. We will rev up our ability to drive without decrementing our ability to deliver. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We understand that it is better to mesh extensibly than to e-enable intuitively. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be proactive? Think best-of-breed. Think strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the jargon-based buzzword "24/7, mission-critical, cross-media". Think viral. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? We understand that if you engineer robustly then you may also integrate globally. We will upgrade the capacity of experiences to repurpose. The convergence factor is long-term. We think that most customer-defined portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough OWL. EETimes practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B intra-CAD and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can target courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to repurpose easily. Think macro-cutting-edge. We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Perl. The e-commerce factor is short-term. Think e-business, ubiquitous. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think nano-virally-distributed.