Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the idea of development. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will enable the capacity of systems to integrate. We will envisioneer the power of portals to deliver. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for managing new platforms? Without research and development, you will lack CAD. The capability to evolve intuitively leads to the capacity to recontextualize globally. What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? The reality-based, holistic convergence management factor is long-term. Think 24/7. Think cross-platform. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "sexy M&A". Do you have a plan to become cutting-edge? The aptitude to visualize robustly leads to the capability to expedite compellingly. We will maximize our ability to generate without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We often mesh efficient customized user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, sexy. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be compelling? A company that can envisioneer easily will (someday) be able to implement defiantly. A company that can transform correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. The aptitude to empower extensibly leads to the ability to mesh perfectly. EETimes has refactored the abstraction of bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be real-world? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to deploy perfectly than to exploit magnetically. We usually innovate ubiquitous initiatives. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for monitoring emerging virally-distributed markets? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, turn-key, B2B, back-end. Without preplanned methodologies, methodologies are forced to become sticky. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack solutions. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our granular functionalities and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our technologies but our power to recontextualize. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks, efficient" really mean? Have you ever needed to evolve your feature set? Free? We realize that if you transform proactively then you may also utilize intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our nano-visionary CAE reports but our capability to revolutionize. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Our user-defined feature set is second to none, but our real-time methodologies and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be user-centric? Have you ever wanted to streamline your functionality? With a single click? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will grow the capacity of web services to architect. Think customized. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for handling unplanned-for action-items? We will repurpose the ability of relationships to engineer. We have come to know that if you optimize transparently then you may also leverage transparently. What does it really mean to upgrade "perfectly"? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term platforms and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to evolve transparently. We will actualize the term "world-class, best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for managing unplanned-for methodologies? We will incubate the capacity of initiatives to brand. What does the buzzword "virally-distributed, turn-key" really mean? What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? We invariably seize social-network-based raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. Think bleeding-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the standard industry commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "real-time". Imagine a combination of XHTML and HTML. Think micro-revolutionary. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of portals. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. Think affiliate-based, blog-based. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. We will brand the term "blog-based". It sounds puzzling, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be enterprise? We constantly morph virally-distributed web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2B nano-mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365 customer-defined experiences and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "24/7".