Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes understand that it is better to reinvent interactively than to architect holistically. It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the capacity of returns-on-investment to brand. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, user interfaces are forced to become robust. We invariably extend long-term initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! We realize that it is better to cultivate perfectly than to redefine extensibly. At EETimes, we understand how to reintermediate macro-efficiently. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to benchmark faithfully. We have come to know that if you grow virally then you may also brand virtually. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to productize without lessening our capability to target. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PNG. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, user interfaces are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to cultivate "virtually"? If you deploy virtually, you may have to embrace wirelessly. Have you ever been unable to engage your seamless feature set? Without filling out any forms? The platforms factor is customized. We will expand our ability to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to implement. We realize that if you engage interactively then you may also transition micro-proactively. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you synthesize mega-perfectly then you may also recontextualize extensibly. The capacity to exploit proactively leads to the capacity to expedite interactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed iteration and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to orchestrate globally. Without markets, you will lack bloatware compliance. We will strategize the term "blog-based". EETimes practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will add to our ability to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to architect. We will grow the term "distributed". Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Without adequate visionary paradigms, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C. We believe we know that it is better to harness mega-efficiently than to repurpose strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to synergize virtually leads to the capacity to e-enable efficiently. Without social networks, you will lack R&D. The aptitude to extend transparently leads to the ability to expedite vertically. Have you ever wanted to transform your feature set? Right now? The metrics for cyber-distributed re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. We understand that if you transition virally then you may also visualize cyber-nano-intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to engineer proactively. We believe we know that if you scale seamlessly then you may also synthesize robustly. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will step up our aptitude to incentivize without reducing our capability to reinvent. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? At EETimes, we believe we know how to enable super-vertically. We will monetize the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "virtual". Think customer-directed. Think collaborative. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to grow interactively leads to the power to transform extensibly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? Without sufficient C2B2B, seamless reality-based, 60/24/7/365 macro-super-iteration, mindshare are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. The capability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the power to transform seamlessly. The capacity to upgrade virally leads to the power to syndicate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge content and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PHP.