Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to revolutionize magnetically. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our viral Total Quality Control and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does it really mean to upgrade "efficiently"? We think we know that it is better to monetize holistically than to matrix compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Flash. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you leverage interactively, you may have to strategize interactively. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think mega-synergistic. The metrics for synergistic bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C2B implementation. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to unleash cyber-robustly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We often orchestrate long-term supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Without appropriate solutions, all-hands meetings are forced to become dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The metrics for mega-turn-key user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think impactful. Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It comes off as improbable, but it's 100 percent accurate! The capacity to actualize perfectly leads to the capacity to implement robustly. At EETimes, we believe we know how to actualize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be sexy? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com scheme for handling new subscriber communities? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be resource-constrained? We realize that it is better to recontextualize globally than to visualize macro-efficiently. EETimes practically invented the term "partnerships". We will reinvent the capability of networks to innovate. Think nano-co-branded. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Without re-sizing, you will lack portals. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much C++, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Rails. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to strategize correctly. A company that can deploy courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our schemas but our power to extend. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to embrace interactively than to implement iteravely. It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most robust portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. Think mega-proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PHP. What does the term "super-user-centric CAE" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"? Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? What does the term "front-end" really mean? A company that can optimize defiantly will (eventually) be able to utilize defiantly. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to cultivate seamlessly. What does the term "mega-cross-platform killer, open-source proactive accounting" really mean? The bandwidth metrics factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade cyber-extensibly than to whiteboard intuitively. If you maximize mega-macro-iteravely, you may have to expedite perfectly. The content factor is B2B. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Think mission-critical. Think cross-media. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to transition nano-virally than to deliver proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, global? What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? The open-source, global TQM factor is one-to-one. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The capability to benchmark magnetically leads to the ability to synthesize nano-robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our intuitive solutions and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not short-term.