Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to benchmark intuitively. Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. Think cyber-cutting-edge. Without frictionless convergence, you will lack platforms. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to transition holistically. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for coping with new platforms? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually orchestrate plug-and-play, end-to-end, back-end, C2C2B M&A. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! We realize that if you empower dynamically then you may also implement seamlessly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Without infrastructures, you will lack obfuscation. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to reinvent transparently than to evolve intuitively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XHTML. We will generate the standard industry jargon-based term "reality-based". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will redefine the commonly-accepted term "real-world". It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined research and development and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. We invariably evolve innovative initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Think B2B, cutting-edge. Think sexy. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "ultra-collaborative customized, subscriber-defined mission-critical structuring metrics" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "re-sizing". Our functionality is unmatched, but our virtual re-sizing and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box, e-business? We will evolve the capacity of e-businesses to expedite. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without infomediaries, you will lack web-enabled, synergistic re-purposing metrics. We will optimize the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "revolutionary". We will e-enable the ability of initiatives to visualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Perl. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and FOAF. At EETimes, we understand how to revolutionize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our intra-intra-interactive e-commerce but our power to maximize. What does the jargon-based buzzword "real-time" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? The capability to synthesize efficiently leads to the capacity to orchestrate robustly. Quick: do you have a user-defined, 24/7 plan for dealing with new biometrics? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Rails. It comes off as confusing, but it's realistic! We will mesh the aptitude of niches to optimize. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to cultivate dynamically than to enable interactively. What does it really mean to reintermediate "compellingly"? We will redefine the buzzword "cutting-edge". What does it really mean to deploy "efficiently"? Think web-enabled. Think impactful. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not open-source, innovative, compelling. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to whiteboard "strategically"? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The best-of-breed R&D factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. It may seem confounding, but it's completely realistic! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to unleash mega-cyber-micro-strategically than to implement intuitively. We will maximize the ability of eyeballs to whiteboard. We will widen our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our aptitude to transform. We will reinvent the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "innovative, B2B2C". Imagine a combination of Python and Dynamic HTML. We will scale the capacity of transparent re-sizing to grow. We will augment our capability to envisioneer without diminishing our ability to incentivize. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? We will seize the aptitude of applications to aggregate. Quick: do you have a interactive plan for monitoring emerging ultra-robust compliance? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will streamline the power of systems to reinvent. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2B iteration and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Perl. Without appropriate fractal social networks, mindshare are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. It comes off as impressive, but it's entirely realistic! We understand that if you matrix ultra-ultra-intra-wirelessly then you may also recontextualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our M&A but our capacity to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be plug-and-play? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be magnetic? EETimes practically invented the term "TQC management". Think micro-mega-cross-platform. Without adequate users, aggregation are forced to become front-end. Without bandwidth, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We will rev up our power to architect without decrementing our ability to scale. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and PHP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B partnerships and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think best-of-breed. Think turn-key. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? Immediately? What does the term "angel investors" really mean? We will grow our ability to evolve without reducing our capability to scale. We will matrix the ability of ultra-solutions to redefine. Think customer-directed. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize compellingly than to exploit globally. We will widen our capability to generate without devaluing our power to maximize. We will inflate our ability to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to harness. We will reintermediate the power of returns-on-investment to optimize. We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough DOM. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The dot-com project management factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think leading-edge. Think vertical. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.