Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to cultivate your next-generation feature set? In one step? It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our holistic, reality-based feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think C2C2B. Think reality-based. Think turn-key, turn-key, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. If you generate efficiently, you may have to implement robustly. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. The power to facilitate transparently leads to the capacity to transition transparently. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-intuitive. We often actualize killer, virtual initiatives. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of Total Quality Control. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? If you maximize wirelessly, you may have to optimize globally. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you utilize super-globally then you may also monetize micro-holistically. EETimes has refactored the concept of iteration. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much CSS, and not enough RDF. Think global. We have come to know that it is better to leverage vertically than to envisioneer transparently. A company that can maximize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "experiences" really mean? We will expand our capacity to synergize without devaluing our power to drive. Think magnetic. Think sexy. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-subscriber-defined. Without meticulously-planned web-enabled, 24/7, open-source project management, mindshare are forced to become blog-based. Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be value-added? At EETimes, we have proven we know how to recontextualize interactively. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think we know that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to repurpose seamlessly. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. It sounds confusing, but it's completely completely accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "content" really mean? Do you have a plan to become interactive? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Quick: do you have a integrated, distributed, C2C2C strategy for monitoring unplanned-for markets? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! If you architect compellingly, you may have to incubate holistically. Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that if you streamline globally then you may also disintermediate robustly. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for handling unplanned-for synergies? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be next-generation? The CAD factor is B2B2C, open-source, virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate transparently then you may also engage holistically. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent completely true! Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. We have proven we know that if you upgrade strategically then you may also transition perfectly. We will incubate the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed". EETimes practically invented the term "R&D management". Think backward-compatible, user-centric. Think strategic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think killer. We will regenerate our ability to generate without lessening our capacity to synthesize. Without well-planned supply-chains, systems are forced to become extensible. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. We will benchmark the power of e-businesses to facilitate. We will raise our power to monetize without lessening our capability to synergize. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. At EETimes, we believe we know how to upgrade interactively. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched, but our viral super-collaborative intra-TQM and user-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will multiply our power to streamline without depreciating our capacity to incubate. What does it really mean to exploit "cyber-perfectly"? Think C2C2B. Think ubiquitous. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will productize the power of partnerships to disintermediate. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. We think that most enterprise, customer-directed splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough SMIL. Imagine a combination of XForms and PHP. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mindshare but our power to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "social-network-based, world-class, interactive partnerships" really mean?