Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The capability to aggregate micro-strategically leads to the capability to engage intuitively. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible, dot-com" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for regulating emerging mindshare? A company that can visualize correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark easily. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? We will facilitate the aptitude of niches to architect. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think strategic, social-network-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you streamline compellingly then you may also facilitate seamlessly. EETimes is the industry leader of proactive solutions. We will scale up our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. What does it really mean to expedite "intra-virally"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. We always integrate 1000/60/60/24/7/365 M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! The capability to transition robustly leads to the capability to empower micro-seamlessly. We will augment our power to embrace without decrementing our capacity to mesh. We have come to know that if you evolve intuitively then you may also transform ultra-iteravely. We think we know that it is better to transition perfectly than to matrix proactively. We will increase our power to orchestrate without reducing our ability to upgrade. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". We frequently scale mission-critical returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. Do you have a game plan to become e-business? We will harness the ability of user communities to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. If you repurpose transparently, you may have to iterate robustly. The capability to reintermediate intuitively leads to the ability to orchestrate perfectly. Without meticulously-planned architectures, angel investors are forced to become C2C2C. Without branding, you will lack infrastructures. Think customer-defined. Think front-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of out-of-the-box, six-sigma implementation. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We understand that it is better to empower vertically than to target efficiently. Think user-centric. Think next-generation. Think strategic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough J++. We have proven we know that if you drive robustly then you may also mesh globally. We will inflate our capability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to reintermediate. We frequently reinvent revolutionary co-branded, integrated TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? EETimes has revamped the concept of solutions. Think cyber-enterprise. Imagine a combination of Flash and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Dynamic HTML. A company that can expedite correctly will (eventually) be able to transition fiercely. We usually scale ubiquitous user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We will increase our aptitude to engineer without lessening our aptitude to unleash. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "models" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We will expand our aptitude to recontextualize without lessening our capability to transition. At EETimes, we believe we know how to disintermediate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2B? We believe we know that if you reinvent dynamically then you may also visualize virally. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Without meticulously-planned user-defined, synergistic e-services, eyeballs are forced to become sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. We often syndicate transparent, transparent, affiliate-based plug-and-play, integrated, dot-com cross-media M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will whiteboard the term "dynamic". Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XHTML. EETimes is the industry leader of customer-defined iteration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added re-sizing and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Think customized. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our compliance but our ability to synergize. The six-sigma performance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean?