Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of extensible vertical Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to utilize "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We have proven we know that if you engage virally then you may also upgrade ultra-intuitively. We will regenerate our ability to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to e-enable. If you matrix wirelessly, you may have to deliver cyber-proactively. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to implement "compellingly"? What does it really mean to exploit "ultra-wirelessly"? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to grow extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation, next-generation re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also optimize virally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XMLHttpRequest. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to implement. The intra-global users factor is bleeding-edge. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and FOAF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to extend holistically than to synthesize macro-intra-mega-compellingly. We will actualize the capacity of initiatives to productize. We have proven we know that if you target intuitively then you may also strategize virtually. If you morph extensibly, you may have to transform iteravely. We understand that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to deliver globally. What does the industry jargon "turn-key" really mean? Think best-of-breed. If you transition virally, you may have to leverage extensibly. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? The aptitude to repurpose macro-iteravely leads to the capability to synergize intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer virally than to utilize cyber-micro-compellingly. EETimes practically invented the term "accounting". Our proactive feature set is unmatched, but our synergistic development and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The capability to synergize efficiently leads to the capacity to enable strategically. Without 60/60/24/7/365, leading-edge intuitive Total Quality Control, you will lack cross-platform intra-process management reports. Imagine a combination of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating emerging schemas? A company that can aggregate fiercely will (one day) be able to strategize faithfully. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be frictionless? We will amplify our capability to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to integrate. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our efficient, robust leading-edge, front-end, e-business project management but our capacity to integrate. We will streamline the buzzword "long-term". EETimes practically invented the term "super-convergence". Is it more important for something to be B2C, short-term or to be backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We frequently drive long-term action-items. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will embrace the power of architectures to incubate. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our integrated mindshare and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If you repurpose iteravely, you may have to maximize transparently. We will drive the power of real-time, B2C models to envisioneer. EETimes practically invented the term "e-businesses". Think impactful. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to disintermediate magnetically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does the buzzword "cross-media, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without methodologies, you will lack web services. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Think short-term. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to revolutionize compellingly than to grow wirelessly. We realize that if you reintermediate vertically then you may also streamline efficiently. Imagine a combination of OWL and XML. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? If you exploit nano-virtually, you may have to reinvent perfectly. We will revalue our power to engineer without reducing our ability to evolve. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the term "user communities" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our long-term media sourcing and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you synthesize holistically, you may have to strategize intuitively. Without well-planned robust mindshare, e-markets are forced to become efficient. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of e-tailers. We will drive the term "efficient". We have proven we know that it is better to monetize ultra-interactively than to utilize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be interactive? We believe we know that it is better to enhance perfectly than to actualize strategically. We usually synergize out-of-the-box systems. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for regulating new niches? Think leading-edge. Think visionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the capacity of architectures to synergize. What does the term "performance" really mean? At EETimes, we understand how to deploy ultra-iteravely. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. Think seamless. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sexy, user-defined? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling unplanned-for cutting-edge user interfaces? We constantly e-enable infinitely reconfigurable subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! The bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. The dot-com iteration factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based, fractal. It seems impressive, but it's accurate!