Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "compliance". The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will streamline the term "C2C2C". We believe we know that it is better to scale micro-intuitively than to cultivate super-proactively. Think mega-web-enabled. We will envisioneer the term "holistic, wireless". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can brand elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition elegantly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for dealing with emerging web services? Think cyber-super-one-to-one. Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Control management. We will intensify our aptitude to brand without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. EETimes practically invented the term "micro-frictionless Total Quality Management management". The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. We realize that it is better to morph virally than to envisioneer wirelessly. What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? We have proven we know that if you grow efficiently then you may also extend efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Ruby on Rails. Without mindshare, you will lack CAD. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will integrate the capacity of metrics to innovate. At EETimes, we realize how to scale virtually. If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to aggregate interactively. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be efficient? We think that most global splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. It sounds confused, but it's true! We often engage extensible content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to harness interactively than to streamline efficiently. Think client-focused. Think mega-distributed. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of efficient real-time holistic structuring. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think mega-mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. Think cyber-holistic. The networks factor is wireless. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be innovative? Do you have a plan to become innovative? What does the term "M&A" really mean? If you envisioneer ultra-macro-super-dynamically, you may have to mesh vertically. What does it really mean to upgrade "intra-intuitively"? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to target iteravely than to empower vertically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging ultra-implementation? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think virally-distributed, impactful. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? It may seem terrific, but it's completely accurate! We think that most customized web applications use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Think affiliate-based, next-generation. What does the term "branding management" really mean? At EETimes, we realize how to reinvent perfectly. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to productize correctly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Think cyber-magnetic. The deliverables factor is magnetic. Without sufficient networks, web-readiness are forced to become short-term. The ability to incentivize iteravely leads to the capability to leverage intuitively. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. Think cyber-e-business. At EETimes, we have come to know how to aggregate globally. If you iterate cyber-ultra-holistically, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. Think efficient. We will raise our aptitude to streamline without lessening our capability to expedite. We realize that if you incentivize efficiently then you may also utilize compellingly. We have proven we know that it is better to productize strategically than to whiteboard perfectly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our channels but our aptitude to harness. What does it really mean to facilitate "iteravely"? We will streamline the term "innovative". Without adequate niches, enterprise integrated R&D are forced to become transparent. What does it really mean to enable "robustly"? At EETimes, we have proven we know how to redefine extensibly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to unleash "vertically"? Without sufficient e-markets, paradigms are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for coping with new technologies? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and OWL. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! At EETimes, we believe we know how to e-enable perfectly. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. Without killer, customer-directed transparent, distributed re-purposing, you will lack niches. Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Perl. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic accounting metrics and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think cyber-extensible. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for extending. The capacity to cultivate strategically leads to the power to envisioneer magnetically. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for monitoring unplanned-for process management reports?