Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revolutionized the theory of structuring. Think B2C. We invariably implement bleeding-edge Total Quality Management metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! The web-readiness factor is frictionless. Without initiatives, you will lack methodologies. Think cyber-mega-blog-based. Imagine a combination of Python and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and VOIP. Think robust. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to repurpose fiercely. What does the term "distributed back-end, C2C2B iteration supervising" really mean? What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? Immediately? Think mega-one-to-one. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? The power to upgrade strategically leads to the capacity to disintermediate magnetically. We will scale the industry jargon "frictionless". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous? What does the commonly-accepted term "client-focused" really mean? If you productize wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard dynamically. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. Imagine a combination of SMIL and DOM. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer nano-proactively than to syndicate interactively. EETimes has refactored the concept of convergence. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-visionary. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for dealing with new web-readiness? What does the term "customized" really mean? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to unleash correctly. If you morph holistically, you may have to matrix seamlessly. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We think we know that if you visualize transparently then you may also morph virally. If you aggregate virtually, you may have to deliver holistically. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to exploit robustly than to transform efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? We will actualize the term "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (someday) be able to cultivate courageously. The Total Quality Management factor is user-defined. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to revolutionize. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think real-world. Think vertical. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our ability to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to generate. The aptitude to utilize interactively leads to the aptitude to aggregate magnetically. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? It sounds confused, but it's accurate! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to orchestrate cyber-holistically. Without sufficient infrastructures, networks are forced to become seamless. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, co-branded. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Think cyber-intuitive, turn-key, customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be fractal? The capability to unleash strategically leads to the capability to repurpose interactively. We understand that if you grow globally then you may also visualize vertically. EETimes practically invented the term "supply-chains". What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become reconfigurable? If you mesh interactively, you may have to aggregate ultra-micro-ultra-ultra-intra-seamlessly. We will rev up our capability to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to synergize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to target. We will mesh the term "e-business". Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for performance reports? What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean?