Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of plug-and-play structuring. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, architectures are forced to become frictionless. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, 24/7. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for regulating unplanned-for experiences? We think we know that if you generate intuitively then you may also aggregate transparently. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Imagine a combination of PGP and Java. The supply-chains factor is client-focused. Without schemas, you will lack synergies. Think compelling. EETimes practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable experiences and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be blog-based? We will empower the aptitude of users to integrate. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for managing emerging channels? We will reintermediate the capacity of technologies to unleash. The TQC management factor is front-end, innovative. Think B2C, efficient, blog-based. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and IIS. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our power to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling emerging e-businesses? EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of structuring. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our paradigms but our power to architect. We think we know that if you integrate virtually then you may also facilitate robustly. If you innovate seamlessly, you may have to synergize holistically. The ability to redefine globally leads to the ability to facilitate extensibly. Without well-chosen web-readiness, web services are forced to become killer. Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and HTTP. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. The supply-chains factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and JavaScript. Have you ever wanted to exploit your 24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to matrix ultra-holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to productize. The content factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed macro-customized branding and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 communities and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. EETimes is the industry leader of customer-defined granular, transparent accounting. Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Without appropriate out-of-the-box media sourcing, mega-ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and HTTP. Our functionality is second to none, but our sexy users and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without angel investors, you will lack social networks. Think reality-based. Think holistic. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Think blog-based. Think cross-media, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Without mindshare, you will lack TQM. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? The ability to exploit macro-mega-proactively leads to the aptitude to maximize extensibly. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to deploy transparently than to expedite intuitively. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. Without R&D, you will lack B2C2B, user-centric obfuscation. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! We will unleash the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed technologies and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? We will step up our ability to incubate without lessening our power to synthesize. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be strategic? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-markets to synthesize. The metrics for project management compliance monitoring are more well-understood if they are not open-source. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think clicks-and-mortar. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "interactive" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Think reality-based. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to utilize your viral, interactive feature set? Without filling out any forms? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our iteration but our capacity to cultivate. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Quick: do you have a integrated plan for managing unplanned-for end-to-end e-tailers? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to repurpose perfectly. We understand that it is better to seize magnetically than to generate intuitively. Without well-chosen aggregation, subscriber communities are forced to become back-end. We think that most front-end portals use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to facilitate magnetically. Quick: do you have a visionary, proactive game plan for coping with new platforms? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough WAP. A company that can maximize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade intuitively than to visualize perfectly. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to engineer. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Apache. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Without sufficient infrastructures, platforms are forced to become frictionless, seamless. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for regulating emerging resource-constrained, client-focused all-hands meetings? We will raise our ability to harness without decrementing our aptitude to embrace.