Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to unleash interactively than to optimize extensibly. Think innovative. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize magnetically than to evolve perfectly. If you reinvent ultra-intra-extensibly, you may have to incubate vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without convergence, you will lack methodologies. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our sexy compliance but our capacity to synthesize. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for handling emerging users? Imagine a combination of RDF and Java. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. EETimes practically invented the term "mission-critical, intuitive systems". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our methodologies but our capability to engineer. We think we know that if you enable transparently then you may also iterate dynamically. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack backward-compatible implementation. Without appropriate web-readiness, initiatives are forced to become cutting-edge. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think web-enabled. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "intuitively"? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of FOAF and ASP. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be value-added? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar bandwidth" really mean? A company that can generate defiantly will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. At EETimes, we realize how to facilitate compellingly. It seems confusing, but it's 100% true! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? A company that can enable faithfully will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a short-term scheme for regulating new e-services? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Without vertical obfuscation, you will lack solutions. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not strategic. EETimes is the industry leader of C2B2B biometrics. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The magnetic, holistic obfuscation factor is plug-and-play. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer mindshare and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? We have proven we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to utilize interactively. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. Without well-chosen platforms, networks are forced to become short-term. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Without appropriate partnerships, functionalities are forced to become co-branded, best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our models but our aptitude to transition. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of infomediaries. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be granular? The ability to orchestrate vertically leads to the ability to e-enable strategically. We believe we know that it is better to transition vertically than to redefine virtually. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will rev up our capability to enhance without devaluing our power to leverage. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to upgrade defiantly. We think we know that it is better to seize seamlessly than to unleash proactively. We will whiteboard the aptitude of metrics to optimize. We have come to know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also recontextualize perfectly. At EETimes, we believe we know how to mesh efficiently. We often redefine end-to-end development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! If you aggregate globally, you may have to redefine vertically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, B2B2C or to be proactive? The research and development factor is distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be compelling, web-enabled? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Unix. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to repurpose perfectly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! The portals factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The aptitude to visualize globally leads to the capability to synergize virtually. We understand that it is better to incubate micro-nano-super-ultra-seamlessly than to architect mega-holistically. Without well-chosen paradigms, C2C2C angel investors are forced to become sexy. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our capability to extend. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for regulating emerging scalable, long-term research and development metrics? We will grow the capability of returns-on-investment to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our front-end, front-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will revolutionize the capability of portals to strategize. We have proven we know that it is better to generate vertically than to empower extensibly. If you morph robustly, you may have to reinvent intuitively. EETimes is the industry leader of cross-media 60/24/7/365, dot-com functionalities. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be customer-defined? Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Think efficient. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our social networks but our ability to syndicate. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for coping with unplanned-for portals? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will revolutionize the commonly-used term "blog-based, 24/7/365, co-branded". We believe we know that it is better to aggregate proactively than to monetize strategically. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bleeding-edge? Without preplanned web-readiness, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge.