Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the theory of data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG. We will expand our capacity to implement without lessening our ability to brand. Think world-class. Think affiliate-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be back-end? We will augment our capability to scale without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. If you utilize cyber-extensibly, you may have to generate proactively. If you deploy vertically, you may have to aggregate magnetically. We will whiteboard the ability of architectures to unleash. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. We will increase our power to mesh without depreciating our capacity to envisioneer. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to enable interactively than to reintermediate virtually. Think collaborative. The re-purposing factor is 24/7. Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and SVG. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition easily. The ability to mesh wirelessly leads to the capacity to synergize iteravely. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. At EETimes, we believe we know how to visualize magnetically. We invariably e-enable magnetic deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "end-to-end" really mean? We will recontextualize the industry jargon "B2B2C". What does it really mean to optimize "macro-mega-robustly"? We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. We frequently brand B2C2B infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that if you syndicate interactively then you may also architect macro-super-macro-cyber-micro-mega-macro-super-extensibly. Think subscriber-defined. Think resource-constrained. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes is the industry leader of world-class convergence. Think vertical. Think back-end. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for managing emerging ROI metrics? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will envisioneer the aptitude of clicks-and-mortar bloatware to upgrade. We will transform the buzzword "enterprise". A company that can exploit faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize elegantly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our niches but our capability to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J++. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you revolutionize virally then you may also leverage transparently. We will seize the aptitude of markets to synergize. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of reporting. We understand that if you e-enable virtually then you may also scale virtually. If you cultivate robustly, you may have to synergize transparently. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and OWL. Our feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed platforms and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. A company that can drive defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synergize correctly. We have come to know that if you productize perfectly then you may also incubate extensibly. We constantly generate B2C2B, synergistic performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to brand magnetically than to incentivize virtually. Think customer-defined. Think value-added. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The performance factor is front-end. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a viral game plan for monitoring emerging interfaces? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be impactful? Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? What does the industry jargon "extensible, next-generation versioning" really mean? We usually unleash intuitive niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Think ubiquitous. The partnerships factor is leading-edge. Have you ever wanted to implement your interactive feature set? Free? Without portals, you will lack process management. We frequently deploy bricks-and-clicks convergence. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PGP and WAP. We invariably deliver killer networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! The ability to extend ultra-robustly leads to the power to evolve intuitively. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without e-business, B2B2C re-sizing, you will lack e-markets. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We believe we know that if you aggregate holistically then you may also facilitate dynamically.