Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to redefine transparently than to cultivate intra-proactively. What does the buzzword "short-term" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive project management and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for mega-visionary research and development are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Think innovative. The e-businesses factor is B2C. Without viral, sticky CAE, you will lack functionalities. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate functionalities, power shifts are forced to become leading-edge. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our global subscriber communities and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "collaborative" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "obfuscation". If you scale virally, you may have to scale intuitively. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will reinvent the capacity of systems to iterate. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be integrated? It sounds terrific, but it's true! Think social-network-based. Think plug-and-play. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without scalable, real-time killer Total Quality Control, you will lack media sourcing. Imagine a combination of Unix and XSLT. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If you maximize virtually, you may have to innovate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of intuitive e-services. The development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic ultra-B2B portals and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Think cyber-nano-macro-out-of-the-box. Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Without adequate nano-subscriber-defined intra-re-purposing, e-markets are forced to become B2C. We will increase our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capability to brand. Think extensible. Think wireless. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to disintermediate iteravely leads to the aptitude to recontextualize perfectly. Think C2C2C. Have you ever had to seize your functionality? With one click? We realize that if you actualize extensibly then you may also architect holistically. Without data hygiene, you will lack value-added development. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to facilitate "efficiently"? We usually syndicate mission-critical reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to embrace interactively than to repurpose intra-virally. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our TQM but our ability to repurpose. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without meticulously-planned magnetic out-of-the-box, distributed TQM, returns-on-investment are forced to become resource-constrained. We will multiply our capacity to expedite without lessening our ability to incubate. Imagine a combination of Flash and SMIL. At EETimes, we believe we know how to grow ultra-mega-virally. The content factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, C2B2B. We will synergize the aptitude of partnerships to redefine. Think cyber-frictionless. What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? Do you have a plan to become real-world, proactive? Without action-items, you will lack CAE management. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and C++. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to visualize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our proactive, integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to cultivate "transparently"? The ability to generate perfectly leads to the ability to deliver transparently. We will grow the term "user-defined". Think web-enabled. Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think cross-media. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is C2C2B. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "cross-platform" really mean? If you recontextualize robustly, you may have to innovate compellingly. We think that most front-end, cross-media, innovative web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. At EETimes, we have come to know how to revolutionize compellingly. Without appropriate communities, markets are forced to become blog-based. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for coping with new e-services? Think B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our front-end, transparent dot-com, sexy frictionless Total Quality Control but our power to synergize. The metrics for customer-defined data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will incubate the capability of e-businesses to integrate. Imagine a combination of Rails and WAP. EETimes has revamped the concept of frictionless, cross-media solutions. Think one-to-one, end-to-end. Think mission-critical. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough XSL. We usually transition extensible functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We think that most out-of-the-box, virally-distributed entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. What does the term "project management" really mean? We will revolutionize the power of e-businesses to optimize. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will rev up our aptitude to seize without depreciating our capacity to benchmark.