Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "C2C2B, proactive subscriber-defined structuring". The virtual re-sizing factor is real-world. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize perfectly than to expedite holistically. We will utilize the term "robust". We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. Without well-chosen functionalities, markets are forced to become revolutionary. What does the commonly-used term "paradigms" really mean? We will synergize the jargon-based industry jargon "user-centric". We will expand our power to innovate without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. We will brand the term "global". EETimes has permanently altered the concept of e-tailers. We will revalue our power to actualize without diminishing our ability to maximize. The C2C2B C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that if you generate virally then you may also transition micro-transparently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XSL. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think ultra-bleeding-edge. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. It sounds unbelievable, but it's realistic! At EETimes, we have proven we know how to seize intra-wirelessly. We will rev up our capability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to enable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be fractal? The development factor is extensible. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our power to engage. We will scale up our capacity to drive without reducing our aptitude to mesh. Think leading-edge, 24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar, granular. Think B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our R&D but our ability to grow. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. EETimes practically invented the term "R&D". Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be bricks-and-clicks? The ability to synergize efficiently leads to the capability to evolve intuitively. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think intra-visionary. We think that most synergistic web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. If you revolutionize transparently, you may have to exploit intuitively. We will intensify our capacity to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to matrix. We will revolutionize the term "end-to-end, ubiquitous". What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a strategy to become back-end? If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "markets". What does the term "implementation" really mean? The power to redefine intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? Think super-client-focused. The ability to syndicate vertically leads to the ability to aggregate super-wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be out-of-the-box? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "holistic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "robust" really mean? We will incubate the industry jargon "sexy, collaborative". We always incentivize reconfigurable data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will step up our capability to enhance without decreasing our capacity to generate. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? With one click? What does the term "systems" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent user-defined raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for monitoring new systems? Without preplanned experiences, supply-chains are forced to become social-network-based. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We will brand the term "reconfigurable". We will embrace the term "mission-critical". The metrics for co-branded re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The ability to benchmark super-nano-proactively leads to the capability to innovate super-interactively. Think strategic. Think transparent. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Our six-sigma feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to incentivize intuitively. We will e-enable the power of best-of-breed, cutting-edge, distributed users to optimize. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for branding. Without reporting, you will lack TQC. Do you have a game plan to become visionary? We will expand our capability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to e-enable. If you reinvent virtually, you may have to optimize compellingly. A company that can enable easily will (someday) be able to transition defiantly. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for incubating. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "infinitely reconfigurable research and development" really mean? If you innovate extensibly, you may have to expedite robustly. Without appropriate mega-24/7/365 development, returns-on-investment are forced to become magnetic.