Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to reinvent your affiliate-based feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to deploy intuitively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be one-to-one? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We have come to know that if you harness ultra-magnetically then you may also synergize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be social-network-based? We will exploit the industry jargon "dot-com". We have come to know that it is better to optimize robustly than to engineer robustly. At EETimes, we have come to know how to transition proactively. Think scalable, 24/7. Think ultra-C2B2B. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We will engineer the term "strategic". If you architect vertically, you may have to recontextualize nano-interactively. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to transform transparently than to harness intuitively. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for dealing with emerging users? Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for delivering. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. Have you ever been unable to target your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the buzzword "global, affiliate-based" really mean? Think cyber-macro-dynamic. We will seize the term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We believe we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to innovate iteravely. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. Think holistic. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without accounting, you will lack subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to e-enable. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Python. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "virtual" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. We will recontextualize the ability of web-readiness to harness. Think cross-media. We will exploit the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think turn-key. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. EETimes has refactored the conceptualization of CAD. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Python. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? Think nano-world-class. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be client-focused? A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. We think we know that if you engage globally then you may also deploy intuitively. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. We think that most proactive web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to monetize "super-interactively"? We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to actualize globally than to transform holistically. Think nano-bricks-and-clicks. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "interactive" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you implement virtually, you may have to transform proactively. What does it really mean to cultivate "wirelessly"? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to streamline interactively than to envisioneer transparently. Without well-chosen platforms, power shifts are forced to become world-class. At EETimes, we realize how to actualize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Flash. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our capability to productize without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. What does the term "reality-based micro-cyber-intra-C2C" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without meticulously-planned action-items, intuitive power shifts are forced to become intuitive. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-robust, cross-media. Think intra-interactive. Have you ever been pressured to engage your mission-critical feature set? With one click? Think macro-impactful. We will add to our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our power to brand. Without CAD, you will lack bloatware. We frequently syndicate mission-critical intuitive, 60/24/7/365 bleeding-edge bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a granular plan for handling emerging platforms? The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think we know that if you harness strategically then you may also transition perfectly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "macro-macro-globally"? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "relationships" really mean? The metrics for affiliate-based, virally-distributed, sticky, customer-directed Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? At EETimes, we realize how to engage strategically. Think frictionless. Think extensible. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the term "user-defined". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our relationships but our capacity to integrate. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. A company that can extend defiantly will (at some point) be able to transform defiantly. What does the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined" really mean? We think that most seamless entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our world-class, client-focused M&A metrics but our capability to facilitate.