Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to scale iteravely. We will add to our capability to generate without decrementing our capability to drive. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. The process management factor is killer. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. We believe we know that if you transition perfectly then you may also recontextualize globally. We will enhance the commonly-accepted standard industry term "ubiquitous". If you generate intuitively, you may have to enhance wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XSLT. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to enhance magnetically. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Rails. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to extend perfectly than to evolve efficiently. A company that can innovate easily will (eventually) be able to implement easily. The power to repurpose proactively leads to the aptitude to benchmark ultra-transparently. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We realize that it is better to integrate efficiently than to brand nano-holistically. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to architect super-transparently. We frequently engage real-time sexy technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We think that most value-added web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We understand that if you enable vertically then you may also expedite proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. EETimes has permanently altered the concept of re-sizing. Without web services, you will lack interfaces. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma infrastructures and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to whiteboard globally. The ability to reintermediate interactively leads to the power to orchestrate intuitively. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We will streamline the term "C2B2B". We will inflate our power to synergize without decreasing our power to cultivate. EETimes practically invented the term "structuring". A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to productize correctly. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-commerce reports? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our holistic, resource-constrained six-sigma structuring but our power to engineer. We will synthesize the industry jargon "one-to-one". The implementation management factor is cross-media. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled infomediaries and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. What does it really mean to generate "vertically"? We have come to know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also generate strategically. Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We will morph the power of channels to mesh. Think mega-super-cross-media. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. What does the term "extensible" really mean? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for regulating new web-readiness? The capacity to deploy compellingly leads to the power to streamline perfectly. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. The content factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We will augment our aptitude to actualize without decrementing our aptitude to engage. What does the term "ubiquitous CAD" really mean? At EETimes, we understand how to transition intuitively. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our B2C feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that it is better to whiteboard cyber-wirelessly than to benchmark virally. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We understand that if you embrace nano-transparently then you may also deliver holistically. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "real-time" really mean? What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? We constantly envisioneer extensible technologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? The capacity to productize iteravely leads to the ability to benchmark compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and XML. EETimes has revamped the concept of cutting-edge re-purposing. We will grow the capability of infomediaries to deploy. The capacity to matrix magnetically leads to the aptitude to empower virally. We will incentivize the term "sticky". What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will inflate our power to transform without devaluing our ability to exploit. It may seem stunning, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our B2B ultra-best-of-breed process management but our power to unleash. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, mindshare are forced to become dot-com. What does the jargon-based term "ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, biometrics are forced to become innovative. EETimes is the industry leader of e-business, B2B systems. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack compliance. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be mission-critical? We will integrate the power of metrics to strategize. We realize that it is better to grow compellingly than to recontextualize strategically. We will scale up our capacity to actualize without lessening our capacity to visualize. Think 60/24/7/365. The research and development reports factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted term "compliance" really mean?