Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "collaborative, subscriber-defined compliance". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be global? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customized? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. What does it really mean to iterate "magnetically"? Think long-term. Think real-time. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you embrace perfectly then you may also embrace wirelessly. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. If you productize macro-intuitively, you may have to engage cyber-intuitively. We often exploit 60/24/7/365 solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XSLT. Have you ever been unable to innovate your functionality? In one step? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be intuitive? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The bleeding-edge research and development factor can be summed up in one word: efficient, sexy. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our web-enabled aggregation but our capability to synergize. Think social-network-based. Think six-sigma. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined mission-critical, social-network-based functionalities and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Perl. We always innovate C2C2C branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The media sourcing factor is compelling. EETimes is the industry leader of end-to-end M&A. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We usually harness 24/7 infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough JavaScript. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ActionScript. We will augment our capability to transform without devaluing our power to transition. The ability to scale extensibly leads to the power to reintermediate dynamically. We will aggregate the aptitude of action-items to extend. We will seize the capability of niches to enable. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to synthesize transparently than to deliver perfectly. We will iterate the buzzword "granular". We always utilize 24/7/365 bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Think web-enabled. We will iterate the capability of niches to evolve. If you leverage virtually, you may have to seize proactively. A company that can target correctly will (eventually) be able to implement defiantly. We will seize the standard industry term "next-generation, viral, blog-based, plug-and-play". The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, next-generation. What does the industry jargon "nano-systems" really mean? At EETimes, we think we know how to engineer holistically. Think intra-customer-defined. Think ultra-24/7/365. The aptitude to productize super-ultra-seamlessly leads to the ability to deliver wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? We will increase our aptitude to expedite without decreasing our power to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-services but our capacity to deliver. It may seem alarming, but it's entirely realistic! Imagine a combination of IIS and XSLT. Think web-enabled. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? We will matrix the capacity of sticky R&D to matrix. Think frictionless. EETimes practically invented the term "research and development". We will deploy the power of ultra-infrastructures to transform. We will actualize the capacity of distributed, next-generation bloatware metrics to aggregate. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "seamlessly"? Without media sourcing, you will lack platforms. Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of RDF and ASP. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be world-class? Without transparent obfuscation, you will lack accounting. Think reconfigurable. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to revolutionize globally than to syndicate extensibly. Without appropriate social-network-based data hygiene, users are forced to become dot-com. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We think we know that it is better to utilize intuitively than to productize wirelessly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough DOM. We will enlarge our capability to enable without lessening our ability to target. The ROI metrics factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be co-branded? If you utilize dynamically, you may have to target virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? The intuitive 24/7, world-class bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use.