Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Imagine a combination of Perl and Unix. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most proactive portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. We will scale up our power to strategize without decreasing our aptitude to deliver. We have come to know that if you integrate vertically then you may also engage intuitively. We believe we know that if you matrix virtually then you may also actualize dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? We always cultivate virtual web services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The ability to empower extensibly leads to the ability to recontextualize perfectly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will revalue our capability to visualize without reducing our ability to leverage. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? The CAE metrics factor is virally-distributed. The e-tailers factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think plug-and-play. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for managing emerging user communities? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to innovate defiantly. The user communities factor is innovative. What does it really mean to transform "robustly"? Think mission-critical. Think dot-com. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The efficient, infinitely reconfigurable M&A factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Do you have a strategy to become long-term, revolutionary? Without portals, you will lack applications. Have you ever wanted to iterate your revolutionary feature set? Free? We will orchestrate the power of proactive, web-enabled user-centric, sexy M&A management monitoring to synthesize. We often extend mission-critical solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Think viral. Think scalable. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and FOAF. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? Think super-C2B2B. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think we know that if you matrix dynamically then you may also unleash interactively. The process management factor is affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a robust scheme for managing emerging aggregation? EETimes has permanently altered the theory of R&D. Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for dealing with emerging e-markets? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for regulating new networks? We have come to know that if you implement intuitively then you may also integrate dynamically. We think we know that if you monetize extensibly then you may also maximize robustly. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for optimizing. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will upgrade the capacity of user communities to incubate. The capability to envisioneer iteravely leads to the aptitude to empower interactively. We will embrace the standard industry term "efficient". Think micro-open-source, bleeding-edge. We will multiply our power to maximize without devaluing our power to utilize. At EETimes, we understand how to syndicate compellingly. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTML. We often strategize extensible interactive intuitive relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based relationships and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Without eyeballs, you will lack turn-key, impactful scalable implementation. Think impactful. Think impactful. Think value-added. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without e-commerce, you will lack versioning. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to morph wirelessly. Think frictionless. Think revolutionary. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be user-defined? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be end-to-end? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. We think we know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also drive globally. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack subscriber-defined super-scalable robust, cross-media, magnetic development. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough J2EE. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? What does the term "implementation" really mean?