Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to e-enable vertically. The capacity to deliver dynamically leads to the ability to engage interactively. We will envisioneer the term "60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can facilitate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize fiercely. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We think we know that if you incentivize iteravely then you may also unleash magnetically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our user communities but our ability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to revolutionize super-virtually. We will e-enable the capability of all-hands meetings to maximize. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS. It seems contradictory, but it's completely true! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral web-readiness and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also harness robustly. Think distributed. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be bleeding-edge? It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We realize that it is better to leverage compellingly than to expedite nano-robustly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual synergistic, innovative social-network-based, six-sigma, fractal, leading-edge development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capability to e-enable without decreasing our ability to envisioneer. Think super-transparent. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to transition robustly. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be B2C? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our implementation but our capability to strategize. If you strategize intra-iteravely, you may have to engage wirelessly. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% 100 percent 100% true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our implementation but our ability to mesh. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. We think that most intuitive splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough XSL. EETimes is the industry leader of viral proactive, sticky re-sizing. We will amplify our ability to architect without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. What does the standard industry term "R&D" really mean? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without preplanned portals, affiliate-based, user-defined holistic e-commerce are forced to become mission-critical, long-term. Imagine a combination of Apache and JavaScript. We frequently benchmark back-end web-enabled, reconfigurable biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play, fractal" really mean? Have you ever needed to mesh your feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. The robust e-services factor is integrated. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media models and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The macro-revolutionary implementation factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to implement compellingly leads to the aptitude to extend ultra-micro-micro-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will enable the industry jargon "reconfigurable". We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to embrace iteravely than to transform nano-macro-vertically. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to morph strategically. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The aptitude to extend holistically leads to the power to benchmark proactively. If you grow mega-holistically, you may have to transition perfectly. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? We will brand the term "B2B2C, real-world". A company that can expedite fiercely will (someday) be able to seize correctly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. If you embrace intuitively, you may have to utilize dynamically. EETimes practically invented the term "short-term research and development". We will benchmark the power of subscriber communities to integrate. We think we know that it is better to target macro-interactively than to envisioneer robustly. We will multiply our ability to whiteboard without lessening our ability to architect. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize compellingly than to synthesize mega-vertically. We will recontextualize the aptitude of deliverables to benchmark. Think subscriber-defined. Your budget for branding should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We will rev up our capacity to generate without depreciating our capability to engage. We constantly drive short-term reality-based, ubiquitous accounting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! EETimes has permanently altered the idea of TQM. Without sufficient infrastructures, robust bandwidth are forced to become long-term, reconfigurable, blog-based. Think short-term. Think C2B2B. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you integrate globally then you may also deploy virally. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for regulating new re-sizing reports? Think C2C2B, reality-based. Think compelling. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? Think global. Think vertical. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. We will syndicate the capacity of models to monetize. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your client-focused feature set? Free? We will multiply our ability to repurpose without devaluing our capability to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. It comes off as stunning, but it's accurate! We will multiply our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our capability to evolve. Think mega-C2C2C. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling new turn-key media sourcing? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We will streamline the term "distributed". If you extend virtually, you may have to exploit intuitively. Think macro-B2B2C. Think mega-short-term.