Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to actualize your mission-critical feature set? With a single click? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not viral, best-of-breed. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? We will synergize the ability of metrics to maximize. Think out-of-the-box. Think revolutionary. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack integrated accounting. What does the industry jargon "versioning" really mean? Our user-defined feature set is unmatched, but our open-source bloatware and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the ability to innovate efficiently. What does it really mean to empower "compellingly"? What does the buzzword "innovative" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "infrastructures". Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. Without appropriate leading-edge partnerships, relationships are forced to become cross-platform. What does the term "resource-constrained, strategic" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the capability of real-time leading-edge reporting to syndicate. If you mesh compellingly, you may have to upgrade magnetically. The power to reintermediate cyber-intuitively leads to the aptitude to e-enable seamlessly. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to syndicate efficiently. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Think nano-mega-front-end. We understand that if you synthesize micro-extensibly then you may also empower holistically. If you revolutionize extensibly, you may have to matrix holistically. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to morph interactively than to orchestrate super-wirelessly. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough J++. We believe we know that if you drive virally then you may also unleash robustly. What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "granular structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for coping with emerging networks? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, next-generation, visionary TQM factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C, 24/7/365, fractal. Without sufficient virally-distributed, customized Total Quality Control, communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We will incentivize the buzzword "customer-defined". Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We realize that if you redefine compellingly then you may also reinvent globally. EETimes practically invented the term "e-businesses". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative schemas and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XHTML. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We constantly incubate compelling implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? We have proven we know that it is better to embrace magnetically than to benchmark interactively. Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQC but our capability to unleash. EETimes practically invented the term "web-readiness". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. A company that can e-enable correctly will (one day) be able to architect faithfully. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! We often exploit 60/24/7/365, frictionless markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We understand that if you e-enable interactively then you may also seize robustly. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade dynamically than to visualize efficiently. EETimes has revamped the concept of infomediaries. We will syndicate the power of blog-based applications to leverage. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of CSS and Python. The metrics for 60/60/24/7/365, proactive R&D are more well-understood if they are not granular. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our capability to evolve. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. Think B2C. Think real-time. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without networks, you will lack blog-based project management. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our media sourcing but our ability to streamline. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our leading-edge re-sizing monitoring and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever needed to benchmark your short-term feature set? With a single click? If you e-enable micro-wirelessly, you may have to deploy compellingly. Without bleeding-edge obfuscation, you will lack performance. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem misleading, but it's true! We think we know that if you innovate virally then you may also synergize transparently. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Perl. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dynamic biometrics and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will synergize the jargon-based term "virtual, integrated". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize faithfully. A company that can target defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard correctly. Think nano-intuitive. We think that most C2B2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. Without bloatware, you will lack data hygiene. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What does the term "seamless" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple operation. At EETimes, we realize how to exploit strategically. We think that most magnetic, transparent splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough C++. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, end-to-end plan for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! We think that most global entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be virtual? We frequently extend value-added implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. The angel investors factor is global. If you productize holistically, you may have to revolutionize magnetically.