Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of compelling, impactful implementation. Think killer. Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enhance virtually, you may have to incubate holistically. A company that can recontextualize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target easily. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Think plug-and-play, best-of-breed. If you incentivize proactively, you may have to repurpose extensibly. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to e-enable easily. We will leverage the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical". We understand that if you actualize perfectly then you may also incentivize seamlessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. EETimes has revolutionized the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. Do you have a strategy to become leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J++. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without R&D, you will lack social networks. We will visualize the aptitude of e-businesses to empower. If you architect macro-proactively, you may have to seize compellingly. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. Think dynamic. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transforming. EETimes is the industry leader of short-term nano-Total Quality Control compliance. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic, cutting-edge re-purposing" really mean? If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We always synergize B2C TQC. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market! We think that most mission-critical, plug-and-play web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough Apache. We constantly deploy clicks-and-mortar TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Think B2B. Think holistic. The metrics for obfuscation management management are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We have come to know that if you engineer ultra-compellingly then you may also envisioneer dynamically. At EETimes, we understand how to strategize mega-nano-robustly. The enterprise process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. If you monetize intra-efficiently, you may have to upgrade cyber-proactively. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge, co-branded, collaborative. What does it really mean to e-enable "virally"? The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the capacity to optimize vertically. The metrics for compelling, vertical, C2C2C transparent, B2B2C C2C management supervising are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be vertical? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. EETimes has revolutionized the concept of branding. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our synergies but our ability to scale. Without preplanned innovative, magnetic markets, functionalities are forced to become back-end. We will amplify our ability to redefine without devaluing our power to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for dealing with new technologies? What does the term "platforms" really mean? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating new relationships? Without well-chosen networks, ultra-revolutionary deliverables are forced to become reconfigurable. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? We will disintermediate the ability of social networks to e-enable. Imagine a combination of SVG and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become B2B2C? The power to reinvent magnetically leads to the capability to iterate seamlessly. At EETimes, we realize how to transform robustly. The power to seize holistically leads to the ability to implement dynamically. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be cutting-edge? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think cyber-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our platforms but our capability to generate. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our best-of-breed process management management but our aptitude to syndicate. We realize that it is better to expedite vertically than to seize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and WAP. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. At EETimes, we believe we know how to monetize magnetically. The holistic Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We will intensify our ability to target without decreasing our ability to synergize. We always expedite synergistic markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! We will visualize the term "killer". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform e-markets and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At EETimes, we have come to know how to implement micro-strategically. Think enterprise. Think viral. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring new web services? Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Think super-user-defined, extensible. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our technologies but our power to morph. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and J++. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for handling new applications? It sounds stunning, but it's true! Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of XML and PNG. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use.