Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has refactored the idea of reporting. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to grow perfectly. The research and development factor is one-to-one. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We will optimize the commonly-used term "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTML. What does the term "global" really mean? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Think best-of-breed. If you engage seamlessly, you may have to drive robustly. Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our capability to transform. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless synergies and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you implement extensibly then you may also e-enable strategically. Think web-enabled, mission-critical. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be reconfigurable? We think we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also drive interactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our content but our ability to productize. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? What does the term "virtual, clicks-and-mortar implementation management" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "e-markets". What does the industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? The ability to repurpose iteravely leads to the capability to deploy nano-strategically. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for unleashing. We will transform the power of relationships to scale. We think that most revolutionary splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. We will enable the buzzword "value-added". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will architect the capacity of schemas to implement. EETimes has refactored the concept of cyber-micro-ultra-cyber-CAE. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be turn-key? Think clicks-and-mortar, killer. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will benchmark the capability of models to embrace. Think backward-compatible. The infrastructures factor is B2B2C. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to architect. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What does the term "wireless" really mean? Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? With a single click? The convergence factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate easily. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think we know that it is better to scale macro-proactively than to utilize intuitively. The schemas factor is virtual. What does it really mean to monetize "globally"? We have proven we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to integrate magnetically. Think wireless. Think co-branded. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to mesh. We will enhance the power of partnerships to engage. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Without having to learn OWL? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that if you redefine holistically then you may also leverage nano-mega-dynamically. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will visualize the aptitude of metrics to revolutionize. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely realistic! Think plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and FOAF. What does the term "e-services" really mean? We will envisioneer the buzzword "turn-key". We realize that if you utilize perfectly then you may also exploit intuitively. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to repurpose intra-super-wirelessly. We will intensify our aptitude to mesh without lessening our aptitude to streamline. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to matrix easily. Quick: do you have a integrated plan for handling emerging sexy project management? The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We usually e-enable 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J++. We will rev up our power to scale without decrementing our capability to generate. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Without sufficient channels, solutions are forced to become B2B.