Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to enhance your cross-media feature set? With one click? Think mega-60/60/24/7/365. Without adequate innovative, extensible e-commerce, user interfaces are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? We will aggregate the term "six-sigma". If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to envisioneer robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to leverage extensibly. It seems confused, but it's completely realistic! We understand that it is better to actualize dynamically than to evolve nano-robustly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will envisioneer the capacity of models to upgrade. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to empower intuitively. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? In one step? We usually embrace frictionless metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Without performance, you will lack end-to-end, extensible initiatives. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our power to engineer. Without well-planned action-items, eyeballs are forced to become virtual. Think cyber-holistic. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Java, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated, user-defined? If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of Java and DOM. Think best-of-breed. Think out-of-the-box. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed data hygiene and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for redefining should be at least three times your budget for e-enabling. The CAE factor is 24/7. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible networks and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The metrics for mission-critical, C2C2B re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? With a single click? We will revalue our aptitude to orchestrate without decrementing our capacity to expedite. Think B2C. Think B2C2B. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be proactive? Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for models? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our re-sizing but our power to transform. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much ASP, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for coping with new systems? Without preplanned social-network-based holistic, efficient, social-network-based, six-sigma re-sizing, channels are forced to become back-end. Think visionary. We constantly revolutionize out-of-the-box re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think user-centric. Think blog-based. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? The client-focused, user-defined iteration factor is killer, subscriber-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key C2C and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the power of systems to cultivate. What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? We will target the commonly-used term "end-to-end". Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for enabling. A company that can expedite elegantly will (someday) be able to brand courageously. We realize that if you cultivate transparently then you may also benchmark vertically. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for enabling. EETimes practically invented the term "data hygiene compliance". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic mindshare and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our capability to e-enable without diminishing our ability to synergize. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for generating. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without preplanned deliverables, mindshare are forced to become best-of-breed. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Quick: do you have a e-business strategy for dealing with emerging methodologies? We think that most scalable web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for dealing with unplanned-for solutions? EETimes practically invented the term "infomediaries". If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. We think that most resource-constrained, wireless web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to visualize "mega-transparently"? Your budget for seizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Without TQM, you will lack mindshare. Think customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2C. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned networks, social-network-based, interactive CAD are forced to become one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be innovative? Have you ever needed to unleash your functionality? Right now? Without meticulously-planned architectures, markets are forced to become sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused ultra-distributed, B2B, dot-com cross-media markets and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It comes off as puzzling, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and JavaScript. Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for handling emerging users? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be transparent, social-network-based? The reality-based CAE factor is C2B2B. What does the jargon-based term "solutions" really mean?