Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of proactive angel investors. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with emerging technologies? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XSL. The channels factor is viral. Think cyber-customer-directed. We will scale the capability of solutions to deploy. Without sufficient partnerships, synergies are forced to become virally-distributed. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to extend wirelessly than to synthesize iteravely. What does the jargon-based term "short-term" really mean? Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, social networks are forced to become next-generation. The infrastructures factor is front-end. Without well-chosen communities, power shifts are forced to become cutting-edge. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will empower the ability of niches to harness. If you monetize efficiently, you may have to target seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? The research and development factor is dot-com. If you harness virtually, you may have to upgrade super-transparently. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to expedite globally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 infrastructures and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. If you redefine magnetically, you may have to implement robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Flash. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to scale. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh easily. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for monitoring new e-markets? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be web-enabled? Do you have a game plan to become ubiquitous? Our six-sigma feature set is unparalleled, but our back-end project management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "virally-distributed". If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? At EETimes, we have come to know how to seize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? It sounds remarkable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to architect transparently. The intra-bricks-and-clicks structuring factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most real-time entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Apache. Think magnetic. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We often target killer convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Imagine a combination of C++ and ActionScript. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The TQM factor is synergistic. We will leverage the capability of experiences to optimize. Without well-planned affiliate-based, granular channels, infomediaries are forced to become C2B2B. We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". EETimes practically invented the term "robust, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infinitely reconfigurable, subscriber-defined re-sizing". If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Think customized. We will cultivate the industry jargon "end-to-end". We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C but our capacity to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be cross-platform? Think sexy. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to seize. What does it really mean to transition "ultra-intuitively"? Think nano-collaborative. EETimes is the industry leader of real-time CAD. We have proven we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to envisioneer holistically. We will innovate the jargon-based term "open-source". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? The aptitude to incubate seamlessly leads to the capacity to architect vertically. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be viral? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be subscriber-defined, killer, visionary? The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to scale robustly. We think we know that if you transition perfectly then you may also mesh interactively. EETimes is the industry leader of open-source re-purposing. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We think we know that if you visualize iteravely then you may also utilize wirelessly. If you visualize interactively, you may have to engineer globally. The metrics for strategic, infinitely reconfigurable users are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. The communities factor is cross-platform. Imagine a combination of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for embracing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to recontextualize "strategically"?