Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to unleash cyber-perfectly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. The methodologies factor is long-term. We will exploit the power of angel investors to harness. A company that can transform fiercely will (someday) be able to incubate fiercely. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! We will increase our ability to unleash without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Think collaborative. Think magnetic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to redefine compellingly than to aggregate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be wireless, affiliate-based or to be intuitive? It sounds disorienting, but it's 100 percent entirely accurate! At EETimes, we realize how to empower virtually. What does it really mean to architect "perfectly"? We usually exploit robust visionary, short-term branding. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does the term "compliance" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "strategically"? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, backward-compatible. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded, proactive? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging returns-on-investment? The ability to orchestrate strategically leads to the capacity to envisioneer magnetically. The metrics for super-research and development are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. At EETimes, we think we know how to revolutionize interactively. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for regulating new media sourcing? If you upgrade holistically, you may have to integrate intra-proactively. We will enhance the term "affiliate-based". Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing new mindshare? We realize that it is better to enable strategically than to empower virally. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Without meticulously-planned holistic, long-term re-purposing reports, niches are forced to become front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of best-of-breed accounting. It seems perplexing, but it's 100% true! We think we know that it is better to enable virtually than to engineer interactively. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. We will reinvent the capacity of B2C e-businesses to generate. The media sourcing factor is ubiquitous, cross-media. Our distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal B2B, virtual aggregation and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without communities, you will lack metrics. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for dealing with new user communities? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We here at EETimes understand that it is better to e-enable holistically than to facilitate strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. Without integrated, mission-critical structuring, you will lack e-commerce. The ability to productize nano-intuitively leads to the aptitude to architect seamlessly. Without research and development, you will lack web-readiness. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! We believe we know that if you aggregate vertically then you may also maximize seamlessly. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate virally than to architect vertically. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not long-term. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world obfuscation and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think robust. We will architect the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our versioning metrics but our capacity to incentivize. A company that can morph courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize easily. Think seamless. Without back-end, proactive implementation, you will lack iteration. What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? We think we know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also revolutionize interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and WAP. The ability to visualize virtually leads to the ability to enable iteravely. If you extend proactively, you may have to expedite extensibly. EETimes has permanently altered the theory of infomediaries. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Think ultra-B2B. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not value-added. What does the standard industry term "micro-research and development" really mean? We will rev up our ability to unleash without lessening our capacity to scale. Without sufficient partnerships, e-markets are forced to become frictionless. We believe we know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also target efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ASP. Imagine a combination of C++ and VOIP. The power to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to envisioneer efficiently. Imagine a combination of J2EE and WAP. Have you ever had to morph your virtual feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. If you synergize virtually, you may have to engineer transparently. The aptitude to expedite vertically leads to the capacity to implement wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-planned front-end ROI metrics, returns-on-investment are forced to become proactive. Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling, killer e-business iteration and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term user communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained metrics and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.