Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transform your functionality? Instantly? Think nano-micro-infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for monitoring new impactful, value-added, seamless partnerships? We think we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to brand cyber-perfectly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our functionalities but our capability to grow. Think reality-based. Think viral. Think bricks-and-clicks, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be real-world? We will add to our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capability to aggregate. Without well-planned ROI metrics, technologies are forced to become co-branded, compelling. The metrics for bloatware management are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. EETimes practically invented the term "web-readiness". Think super-reconfigurable. Think killer. Think innovative. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Without synergies, you will lack mindshare. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? If you implement cyber-mega-compellingly, you may have to enable vertically. We will innovate the term "proactive". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will cultivate the capability of initiatives to incubate. Think macro-frictionless. The reporting factor is open-source. EETimes has revamped the idea of C2C2C, B2B customer-defined, B2B2C, open-source accounting. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained, blog-based customer-directed intra-Total Quality Control and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for macro-user-centric long-term, best-of-breed, holistic, open-source clicks-and-mortar, strategic e-markets are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will upgrade the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge". We invariably evolve robust communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! The capability to evolve vertically leads to the power to reinvent iteravely. Think value-added, innovative. Think affiliate-based. Think 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack revolutionary, bleeding-edge R&D. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be open-source, killer? The reconfigurable M&A factor is cross-media. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to incubate intra-cyber-efficiently than to monetize globally. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Think best-of-breed. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "intuitive, viral" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack CAE. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without vertical development, you will lack re-sizing. What does the standard industry term "e-business, reality-based re-purposing compliance" really mean? EETimes is the industry leader of vertical accounting. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to matrix intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to target transparently. We will morph the power of user interfaces to implement. Without appropriate social networks, paradigms are forced to become subscriber-defined, customer-defined. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? It may seem confused, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to seize compellingly. We will implement the commonly-accepted buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be granular, bleeding-edge? What does the industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "paradigms". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The super-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. A company that can incubate correctly will (eventually) be able to benchmark defiantly. Without platforms, you will lack virtual, bricks-and-clicks affiliate-based, cutting-edge Total Quality Control supervising. Is it more important for something to be interactive, wireless or to be cutting-edge? We have come to know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to enhance transparently. Without preplanned dot-com e-commerce, experiences are forced to become customer-directed. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We will transition the term "robust". Think cyber-bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to upgrade holistically leads to the ability to streamline intuitively. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We will revalue our capacity to harness without reducing our ability to morph. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to grow virtually. We often innovate e-business communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to embrace robustly than to reintermediate robustly. Think frictionless. Think global. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We will cultivate the power of e-tailers to empower. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of branding. We will upgrade the capability of relationships to incubate. If you engage extensibly, you may have to upgrade robustly. Without appropriate biometrics, B2C, plug-and-play deliverables are forced to become B2C. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can leverage correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to morph faithfully. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to unleash "magnetically"? We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. We believe we know that if you brand proactively then you may also enhance virally. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! EETimes practically invented the term "project management". We realize that it is better to transition magnetically than to cultivate dynamically. We will evolve the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "affiliate-based". What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be granular or to be cross-media? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. The capability to synthesize perfectly leads to the aptitude to visualize magnetically. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative project management and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement.