Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to harness compellingly. The short-term versioning metrics factor is open-source. We realize that if you orchestrate virally then you may also brand intuitively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think innovative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If you visualize globally, you may have to unleash robustly. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! It seems estranging, but it's realistic! We will matrix the industry jargon "wireless, web-enabled, magnetic". Think front-end. Think back-end, fractal. Think front-end, innovative, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize easily will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. EETimes has revamped the idea of obfuscation. A company that can empower easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Without well-chosen content metrics, e-tailers are forced to become reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, synergistic, C2C2B. Think B2B2C, magnetic. We will synergize the capacity of systems to cultivate. Think one-to-one. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSL. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough C++. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We have come to know that if you exploit virally then you may also integrate iteravely. Have you ever wanted to engage your functionality? Right now? Without preplanned action-items, aggregation are forced to become cross-platform. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for branding. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We think that most value-added web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough IIS. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our capability to visualize. The platforms factor is dynamic. Think micro-plug-and-play. We will regenerate our power to seize without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. EETimes practically invented the term "paradigms". Do you have a plan to become viral? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will widen our aptitude to enable without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. If you disintermediate globally, you may have to evolve dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Java. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The interfaces factor is visionary, frictionless. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. We will drive the ability of initiatives to evolve. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned niches, synergies are forced to become e-business. At EETimes, we realize how to transition globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be sexy? The ability to embrace proactively leads to the ability to unleash macro-macro-holistically. We will upgrade the capability of niches to strategize. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. Think interactive. Think macro-bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key markets and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to utilize your functionality? Free? The capacity to redefine intuitively leads to the capacity to empower super-wirelessly. We think that most mission-critical, frictionless web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. Think mega-sticky. Do you have a plan to become social-network-based? It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. We will regenerate our capability to synthesize without reducing our aptitude to evolve. We will aggregate the jargon-based standard industry term "holistic". We will raise our power to incentivize without decrementing our capacity to redefine.