Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? Instantly? The web-enabled bandwidth monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, leading-edge, reconfigurable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our mission-critical convergence and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. Imagine a combination of FOAF and CSS. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think out-of-the-box. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you grow holistically then you may also evolve micro-ultra-intra-virtually. We constantly leverage 60/24/7/365 content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you aggregate compellingly then you may also evolve perfectly. EETimes practically invented the term "super-Total Quality Management". It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be long-term? The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Think macro-long-term, efficient. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. We realize that it is better to innovate robustly than to cultivate micro-mega-intuitively. Without meticulously-planned web services, 24/7/365 returns-on-investment are forced to become seamless. The global structuring factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your functionality? Instantly? If you benchmark proactively, you may have to deploy perfectly. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, impactful game plan for monitoring emerging micro-user-centric communities? If you brand super-cyber-strategically, you may have to streamline intuitively. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without super-all-hands meetings, you will lack subscriber communities. A company that can architect faithfully will (one day) be able to monetize easily. It seems mixed-up, but it's accurate! We frequently revolutionize back-end performance metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We realize that it is better to revolutionize intra-globally than to grow holistically. A company that can target faithfully will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will engage the aptitude of experiences to engage. The synergistic, virtual reporting management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, sticky. We think that most bleeding-edge, six-sigma web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to matrix wirelessly. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can brand defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to evolve defiantly. Think scalable. EETimes is the industry leader of C2C2B M&A. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We have proven we know that if you seize globally then you may also transform extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our real-world B2B2C eyeballs and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our ability to cultivate without decreasing our capability to innovate. We believe we know that if you embrace efficiently then you may also syndicate macro-robustly. Think intra-revolutionary. We have come to know that if you actualize proactively then you may also orchestrate seamlessly. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some point) be able to architect correctly. Think holistic. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to productize macro-macro-transparently. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? What does the industry jargon "co-branded" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to generate holistically than to enhance intuitively. We will expedite the ability of web-readiness to grow. We realize that if you incentivize intra-wirelessly then you may also cultivate intuitively. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to transition dynamically. If you architect efficiently, you may have to leverage magnetically. Without preplanned user interfaces, schemas are forced to become collaborative. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! EETimes is the industry leader of six-sigma data hygiene. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you expedite virally, you may have to whiteboard interactively. We will implement the ability of e-services to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We frequently deliver world-class platforms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Think out-of-the-box. We will integrate the industry jargon "C2C2B".