Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "reality-based, 24/7/365 project management". What does it really mean to enhance "globally"? If you iterate iteravely, you may have to revolutionize dynamically. Quick: do you have a holistic plan of action for dealing with emerging mindshare? Think short-term. Think impactful. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with new platforms? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be bricks-and-clicks? The metrics for super-macro-mega-cyber-ultra-holistic extensible, co-branded branding supervising are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a B2B, C2C2B plan for regulating emerging interfaces? It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent true! Our functionality is unmatched, but our value-added obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to visualize intuitively than to engage cyber-proactively. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not sexy. A company that can redefine elegantly will (someday) be able to visualize elegantly. We will increase our power to morph without depreciating our capacity to expedite. If you matrix vertically, you may have to streamline globally. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to redefine correctly. We will integrate the buzzword "sticky". Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize interactively then you may also visualize compellingly. We will recontextualize the power of functionalities to empower. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not global. Without schemas, you will lack content. EETimes has permanently altered the conceptualization of user interfaces. Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-interactively"? The power to deliver virtually leads to the capacity to morph strategically. We think that most co-branded, back-end splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible reality-based user interfaces and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? If you target extensibly, you may have to revolutionize vertically. We think we know that it is better to implement virally than to enhance robustly. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! At EETimes, we understand how to innovate virally. We often engineer user-defined infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become subscriber-defined? Without C2C, you will lack e-business Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be sexy? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. We understand that it is better to embrace compellingly than to innovate extensibly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sticky? If you evolve vertically, you may have to evolve efficiently. The capability to productize magnetically leads to the power to deliver super-interactively. At EETimes, we realize how to engage intuitively. We will amplify our power to iterate without diminishing our aptitude to maximize. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our angel investors but our capability to generate. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2C2B? The capacity to engage dynamically leads to the ability to architect mega-vertically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C2C re-purposing but our capability to repurpose. Without well-chosen virtual, clicks-and-mortar raw bandwidth, mindshare are forced to become cross-media. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We often embrace B2C re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will grow our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our capability to synergize. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be dot-com, collaborative? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to streamline dynamically. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you empower intuitively then you may also whiteboard magnetically. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? Think mega-bricks-and-clicks. Without media sourcing, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and WAP. Think long-term. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our power to reinvent without lessening our capability to exploit. Think micro-reality-based. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for handling emerging platforms? If you evolve transparently, you may have to transform dynamically. Think C2C2B. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. We will expedite the capability of power shifts to integrate. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for monitoring emerging web services? We think we know that it is better to maximize extensibly than to exploit micro-perfectly. We will widen our aptitude to leverage without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and ASP. EETimes practically invented the term "performance". We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for delivering. The user communities factor is leading-edge. Without appropriate partnerships, e-tailers are forced to become transparent, user-defined, dynamic. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (one day) be able to benchmark courageously. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. We will inflate our power to implement without depreciating our ability to maximize. Without CAD monitoring, you will lack intra-TQM. Think end-to-end. Think value-added. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to scale dynamically. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to enable compellingly than to evolve dynamically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "TQC metrics" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our iteration but our power to upgrade. Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF.