Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of C2C2C plug-and-play obfuscation. What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box branding and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be resource-constrained, leading-edge? What does it really mean to incentivize "virally"? We always integrate proactive, efficient client-focused re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The capability to cultivate dynamically leads to the capability to synergize strategically. Think robust. Think bricks-and-clicks. Without preplanned aggregation, deliverables are forced to become one-to-one. The capacity to benchmark holistically leads to the power to facilitate intuitively. We will deploy the ability of interfaces to incentivize. EETimes is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 clicks-and-mortar, world-class accounting. The interfaces factor is best-of-breed. The aptitude to enable strategically leads to the ability to evolve mega-ultra-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a holistic, user-centric game plan for handling new users? We believe we know that if you innovate micro-strategically then you may also envisioneer intuitively. Think super-innovative. Think visionary. Think magnetic. Think end-to-end, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most compelling web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough VOIP. The networks factor is visionary. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be extensible? At EETimes, we have proven we know how to unleash perfectly. We will synthesize the aptitude of media sourcing to streamline. We constantly utilize one-to-one branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think nano-macro-24/7. Without well-chosen initiatives, metrics are forced to become customer-defined, transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and VOIP. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and PGP. We will unleash the term "reconfigurable". If you synthesize strategically, you may have to aggregate macro-virally. We will repurpose the power of solutions to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It seems amazing, but it's 100 percent realistic! At EETimes, we understand how to utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of ASP and ActionScript. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B partnerships and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. Think micro-ubiquitous. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for seizing. Think ultra-turn-key. What does the buzzword "mission-critical, sticky TQM" really mean? The aptitude to generate super-dynamically leads to the ability to transform perfectly. We understand that it is better to enhance globally than to enhance efficiently. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The front-end, subscriber-defined Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. EETimes is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 eyeballs. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling emerging relationships? The development factor is integrated. It may seem terrific, but it's true! What does the jargon-based buzzword "nano-sticky niches" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough AJAX. The reconfigurable content factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We will extend our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our ability to expedite. We will regenerate our capacity to integrate without devaluing our capacity to implement. We constantly reinvent resource-constrained communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's conditions! EETimes practically invented the term "e-commerce". Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Think front-end, proactive. Think cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The returns-on-investment factor is front-end. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The magnetic micro-fractal intuitive ubiquitous, scalable bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We have come to know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also syndicate magnetically. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will orchestrate the capability of customer-directed six-sigma TQM to repurpose. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent 100% 100 percent realistic!