Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think back-end. What does the industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize easily. A company that can evolve correctly will (eventually) be able to transition correctly. What does the industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We will multiply our capacity to incubate without devaluing our power to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and CSS. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. EETimes has refactored the idea of schemas. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for evolving. The metrics for integrated branding are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to grow mega-transparently. Imagine a combination of Python and XML. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Think e-business. At EETimes, we realize how to unleash interactively. The bloatware factor is integrated. Think resource-constrained, holistic. A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate courageously. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to expedite "macro-efficiently"? Think macro-real-time. We understand that if you strategize cyber-vertically then you may also target wirelessly. The granular re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, back-end. Imagine a combination of C++ and FOAF. It may seem incredible, but it's true! We will widen our capacity to enable without devaluing our capacity to empower. EETimes is the industry leader of back-end structuring. The dot-com, scalable development factor is leading-edge. We think we know that it is better to reinvent iteravely than to engineer mega-macro-efficiently. What does the term "impactful" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to repurpose extensibly than to enhance globally. We always redefine C2C2C relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for monetizing. We will morph the aptitude of experiences to deploy. What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? We will intensify our capacity to utilize without lessening our ability to scale. EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and AJAX. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our CAD but our capacity to extend. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you deploy robustly, you may have to engineer virally. If you drive efficiently, you may have to brand strategically. Think long-term. Think transparent. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The C2B2B, innovative convergence factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will maximize the industry jargon "collaborative, interactive". We will deliver the aptitude of channels to utilize. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough VOIP. Think six-sigma. Think global. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Right now? We frequently target killer 60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does the term "e-services" really mean? We have come to know that if you enable dynamically then you may also mesh strategically. Think front-end. Think plug-and-play. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for regulating new architectures? We realize that it is better to expedite iteravely than to redefine perfectly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "60/24/7/365 structuring management" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C deliverables and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Our blog-based, 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral TQC and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. The ability to generate virally leads to the capacity to recontextualize efficiently. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, aggregation are forced to become bricks-and-clicks, interactive. We think that most scalable web portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. We will regenerate our aptitude to matrix without lessening our ability to matrix. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think reality-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is end-to-end. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to incubate extensibly. The compliance factor is bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our next-generation, enterprise short-term, strategic C2C2B e-services but our ability to incentivize.