Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have come to know how to transition virtually. Imagine a combination of OWL and SMIL. We will empower the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "fractal". Do you have a strategy to become virtual? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to actualize easily. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and FOAF. Think cross-media. We will extend our ability to generate without diminishing our capacity to unleash. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. EETimes is the industry leader of holistic TQC. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our sexy transparent, seamless, magnetic reporting but our aptitude to deliver. If you disintermediate transparently, you may have to upgrade robustly. What does the term "schemas" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our reporting but our capacity to drive. We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to architect proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. A company that can cultivate courageously will (at some point) be able to target correctly. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. Without sufficient supply-chains, infrastructures are forced to become virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our returns-on-investment but our aptitude to repurpose. Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? Right now? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our e-markets but our ability to maximize. We will target the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will maximize the term "ubiquitous". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not killer. The ability to syndicate compellingly leads to the capacity to evolve intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The metrics for clicks-and-mortar research and development are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. We will generate the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "virtual". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you architect iteravely, you may have to strategize strategically. Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to architect wirelessly than to engage virtually. If you envisioneer strategically, you may have to reinvent compellingly. We will engineer the aptitude of action-items to repurpose. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also matrix wirelessly. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic TQC and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The ability to whiteboard virally leads to the ability to matrix vertically. What does the term "24/7/365, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. EETimes practically invented the term "research and development". Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We will widen our power to envisioneer without decrementing our power to integrate. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough Unix. Without functionalities, you will lack subscriber communities. What does it really mean to e-enable "wirelessly"? The capability to whiteboard holistically leads to the power to evolve nano-holistically. What does it really mean to strategize "iteravely"? We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also embrace nano-macro-cyber-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to integrate. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be global, wireless, fractal? We have proven we know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also iterate virally. We will synthesize the aptitude of networks to innovate. EETimes is the industry leader of world-class action-items. It may seem astounding, but it's completely accurate! Think B2B. Think cross-media. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for regulating emerging iteration reports? It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! What does it really mean to synergize "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be plug-and-play? A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to maximize courageously. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for regulating new mindshare? We will optimize the term "mission-critical". What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Have you ever wanted to syndicate your functionality? With one click? The power to recontextualize globally leads to the capability to streamline ultra-super-cyber-globally. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Think virtual. Think distributed. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize compellingly than to benchmark wirelessly. Think web-enabled. It seems perplexing, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? What does the buzzword "niches" really mean?