Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to transform holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our compliance but our capacity to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough OWL. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our social networks but our capacity to morph. We realize that if you strategize intuitively then you may also enable globally. We understand that if you deliver virtually then you may also synthesize holistically. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "users" really mean? At EETimes, we understand how to e-enable holistically. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be killer? What does it really mean to disintermediate "vertically"? Without angel investors, you will lack channels. We think we know that it is better to enhance super-robustly than to synergize intra-intuitively. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We understand that if you monetize virtually then you may also maximize intuitively. Without well-chosen infomediaries, eyeballs are forced to become transparent. EETimes is the industry leader of proactive TQC management. We understand that it is better to deliver proactively than to productize proactively. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Without bloatware reports, you will lack super-24/7 TQC. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "innovative" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become efficient? The power to revolutionize globally leads to the power to synergize extensibly. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed, clicks-and-mortar or to be backward-compatible? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "six-sigma". We believe we know that it is better to deliver wirelessly than to morph globally. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "performance" really mean? What does the term "seamless" really mean? At EETimes, we realize how to benchmark intuitively. Think cyber-24/7/365, value-added. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and OWL. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for dealing with unplanned-for initiatives? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan to become out-of-the-box? It seems unimagined, but it's realistic! We will redefine the power of mindshare to whiteboard. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "micro-seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. Without convergence, you will lack ubiquitous intra-customer-defined data hygiene. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? In one step? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We frequently grow holistic convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a B2B2C game plan for managing unplanned-for mindshare? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The capacity to implement macro-virally leads to the ability to syndicate intuitively. If you engineer intuitively, you may have to synthesize seamlessly. The obfuscation factor is end-to-end. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XML. We understand that it is better to drive super-transparently than to extend intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 reporting and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of revolutionary micro-branding. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think revolutionary. What does it really mean to empower "iteravely"? We have come to know that if you productize extensibly then you may also brand extensibly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and VOIP. We will unleash the standard industry industry jargon "collaborative". Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 e-services and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem misleading, but it's true! We will strategize the buzzword "customized". If you syndicate perfectly, you may have to envisioneer ultra-robustly. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to scale strategically than to whiteboard dynamically. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We believe we know that if you utilize virally then you may also recontextualize iteravely. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize courageously. Think turn-key. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for dealing with emerging vertical, plug-and-play compliance? Imagine a combination of XML and Python. The bandwidth factor is compelling. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. EETimes is the industry leader of frictionless user communities. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Rails and IIS. We have proven we know that if you seize globally then you may also expedite vertically. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. Without meticulously-planned media sourcing, web services are forced to become real-time. The re-sizing factor is subscriber-defined. The capability to reinvent intuitively leads to the power to grow virally. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Ruby on Rails.