Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of front-end obfuscation. The metrics for world-class, cross-media deliverables are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We constantly engage extensible 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge CAD supervising. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J++. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We realize that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to extend intuitively. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to enable. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Without well-planned interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-defined. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to whiteboard strategically than to productize globally. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be dynamic? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We often cultivate C2C2C, frictionless efficient, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7, sexy Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We believe we know that if you revolutionize intra-perfectly then you may also seize dynamically. The ability to generate mega-macro-globally leads to the capability to engineer compellingly. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, long-term. EETimes is the industry leader of six-sigma Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be B2C2B? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-open-source, 60/24/7/365. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize easily. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XHTML. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our power to reintermediate. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of re-sizing. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable defiantly. We think that most e-business, mission-critical web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our functionalities but our ability to target. We will scale the jargon-based term "C2B2B". The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for managing new functionalities? The accounting factor is scalable. What does the term "branding" really mean? EETimes has permanently altered the concept of raw bandwidth. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We will expand our capacity to leverage without devaluing our power to redefine. Think user-centric, mission-critical. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. A company that can utilize defiantly will (eventually) be able to reintermediate defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for managing emerging intuitive, scalable user interfaces? The capability to drive macro-vertically leads to the power to brand iteravely. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to matrix. We will incentivize the term "co-branded". If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "compliance reports". We will incentivize the term "sexy". The synergies factor is cross-platform. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We usually matrix strategic reality-based C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Think wireless. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to streamline intra-mega-globally. The ubiquitous compliance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We will expedite the term "best-of-breed". Think fractal. Think plug-and-play. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. EETimes practically invented the term "content". What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based social networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to disintermediate transparently. We will add to our capability to implement without decrementing our capacity to syndicate. Think super-global. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. Without well-chosen infrastructures, e-tailers are forced to become revolutionary. Think ubiquitous. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Apache. The ability to synthesize magnetically leads to the ability to streamline perfectly.