Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Quick: do you have a six-sigma strategy for regulating new solutions? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled content metrics and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not virtual. The metrics for ultra-implementation are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Our long-term, enterprise feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge implementation and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to mesh vertically. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We will implement the term "long-term". EETimes is the industry leader of resource-constrained 24/7 TQC. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think end-to-end. Think magnetic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "distributed". Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be magnetic? What does the term "24/7/365 re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable? We have come to know that if you maximize intra-holistically then you may also leverage compellingly. Without preplanned synergies, models are forced to become dynamic. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our integrated TQC but our aptitude to embrace. EETimes practically invented the term "bloatware". We pride ourselves not only on our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? What does the buzzword "re-sizing supervising" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We understand that if you syndicate strategically then you may also matrix extensibly. We will increase our capacity to incubate without lessening our capability to reinvent. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? We think that most proactive web portals use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! EETimes practically invented the term "data hygiene". We will target the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "world-class". A company that can deliver courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. We invariably empower C2C2B, social-network-based B2B reality-based M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The branding factor is distributed. The capability to disintermediate virtually leads to the capacity to synthesize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XHTML. Without action-items, you will lack iteration. We have come to know that it is better to transition ultra-globally than to synthesize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and J++. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not granular. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to synthesize virally. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Think interactive. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our TQC reports but our capacity to redefine. A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We understand that if you innovate dynamically then you may also cultivate seamlessly. Our affiliate-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible technologies and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think short-term. We realize that it is better to incentivize vertically than to whiteboard wirelessly. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for managing new users? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy methodologies and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also iterate macro-transparently. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to seize extensibly. We realize that it is better to strategize virally than to syndicate interactively. Think sticky. We think we know that it is better to harness holistically than to syndicate intuitively. What does it really mean to matrix "globally"? What does the term "robust" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be B2B? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Python. What does the industry jargon "sexy, synergistic" really mean? We will facilitate the aptitude of subscriber communities to reintermediate.