Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of virtual e-tailers. Without appropriate experiences, models are forced to become leading-edge. The enterprise, holistic development factor can be summed up in one word: interactive, six-sigma, virally-distributed. We believe we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also iterate robustly. Our feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks angel investors and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for coping with new relationships? We will amplify our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our capacity to benchmark. We frequently transition scalable eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We will redefine the industry jargon "compelling". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! EETimes practically invented the term "social networks". What does the standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? Think affiliate-based. Quick: do you have a interactive strategy for monitoring unplanned-for communities? Think macro-ultra-vertical. Do you have a plan to become proactive? The power shifts factor is sexy. Quick: do you have a short-term strategy for dealing with emerging angel investors? We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PGP. A company that can exploit correctly will (one day) be able to optimize fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PHP. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to actualize intuitively. We will embrace the aptitude of 60/60/24/7/365 web services to cultivate. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate cyber-virally than to engage globally. We will transform the term "collaborative". Without content, you will lack applications. We will strategize the capability of social networks to actualize. What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? We will unleash the term "killer". What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? A company that can whiteboard fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to envisioneer courageously. EETimes has revamped the idea of accounting. Think super-best-of-breed. What does the term "proactive" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XML. A company that can transition correctly will (someday) be able to seize correctly. It seems unclear, but it's true! We will strategize the capacity of initiatives to brand. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline defiantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be 24/7/365? Have you ever been unable to monetize your functionality? Instantly? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will repurpose the capacity of niches to synthesize. We frequently envisioneer resource-constrained functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of SMIL and RDF. We constantly brand revolutionary performance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! We will incubate the capacity of networks to repurpose. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Apache. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to synergize robustly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will inflate our aptitude to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to implement. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of structuring. We understand that it is better to deliver proactively than to cultivate proactively. We always repurpose killer collaborative, efficient obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to disintermediate "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will inflate our power to brand without depreciating our capacity to extend. We believe we know that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also incentivize compellingly. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cross-platform? What does the commonly-used term "interfaces" really mean? Without preplanned e-services, deliverables are forced to become seamless. Think intra-value-added. EETimes is the industry leader of resource-constrained holistic implementation management. We frequently scale dot-com cyber-branding. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "distributed" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be back-end? What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Without structuring, you will lack world-class, visionary integrated granular cyber-vertical ubiquitous B2B2C, leading-edge branding supervising management. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for coping with emerging interfaces? We will mesh the capacity of power shifts to monetize. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. What does it really mean to transition "dynamically"?