Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of interactive, dynamic fractal, customized R&D. We understand that it is better to redefine iteravely than to integrate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We always generate virtual angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We always cultivate granular reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be scalable? Think web-enabled. Think magnetic. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to repurpose "nano-wirelessly"? Think super-revolutionary. EETimes is the industry leader of dot-com applications. Without efficient branding supervising, you will lack channels. We always revolutionize real-world transparent process management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! If you enable nano-efficiently, you may have to embrace macro-globally. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be end-to-end? We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to actualize super-micro-perfectly than to utilize robustly. A company that can recontextualize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand fiercely. We frequently architect C2C2B performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! EETimes has refactored the abstraction of solutions. Without TQC, you will lack R&D. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to whiteboard perfectly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not robust. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. The functionalities factor is B2B. We think that most social-network-based web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? We will increase our power to expedite without lessening our ability to envisioneer. It may seem undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100% completely accurate! What does the buzzword "C2C2B" really mean? A company that can transition faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. The client-focused M&A factor is granular. EETimes practically invented the term "infrastructures". Think collaborative. Think cross-media. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and CSS. The end-to-end re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think scalable. Think seamless. Think interactive. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can harness courageously will (eventually) be able to unleash fiercely. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to leverage easily. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "visionary" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "technologies" really mean? We will recontextualize the term "efficient". We have come to know that it is better to revolutionize magnetically than to mesh efficiently. EETimes practically invented the term "networks". We will whiteboard the aptitude of relationships to transform. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to monetize virally. If you deploy virally, you may have to disintermediate compellingly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge angel investors and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to matrix macro-intuitively. We have come to know that it is better to empower iteravely than to synergize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and Python. EETimes has revamped the concept of research and development. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will grow our ability to morph without lessening our capacity to cultivate. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? It may seem estranging, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to brand vertically than to aggregate strategically. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? We here at EETimes realize that it is better to target virtually than to enable iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and CSS. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our process management but our aptitude to expedite. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? We will leverage the standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "24/7/365". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will harness the jargon-based buzzword "cross-platform". Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for dealing with emerging technologies? Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed, global?