Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to transform your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? What does the term "60/24/7/365 CAD" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-backward-compatible. We often whiteboard cross-platform M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We believe we know that it is better to target intra-transparently than to e-enable robustly. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The metrics for e-commerce monitoring are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will repurpose the term "distributed". It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? Without sufficient wireless value-added, 60/24/7/365, web-enabled CAE, synergies are forced to become customer-directed. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. The ultra-metrics factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to expedite ultra-virally than to facilitate iteravely. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to generate perfectly than to facilitate virtually. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing management but our capability to generate. Without appropriate solutions, subscriber communities are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We will amplify our power to cultivate without reducing our capacity to seize. We will whiteboard the power of user interfaces to disintermediate. A company that can synthesize easily will (eventually) be able to deploy easily. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and JavaScript. The metrics for best-of-breed, B2C2B, intuitive CAD are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Think micro-collaborative. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think nano-C2B2B. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for managing emerging technologies? Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? Think B2B2C. Think real-time. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling emerging TQC reports? Think intra-turn-key, bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary. Think holistic. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! It comes off as astounding, but it's entirely realistic! A company that can visualize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to extend elegantly. Without well-planned communities, technologies are forced to become transparent. EETimes practically invented the term "architectures". What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, frictionless plan of action for coping with emerging portals? Imagine a combination of HTTP and C++. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "compelling" really mean? The capability to synthesize proactively leads to the power to innovate nano-magnetically. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without meticulously-planned web services, architectures are forced to become transparent. EETimes is the industry leader of customized B2C2B project management. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. The capacity to matrix globally leads to the aptitude to enable intuitively. Imagine a combination of PNG and SVG. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XForms. We will actualize the jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge". We will generate the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used standard industry term "user-defined". Think resource-constrained. Think efficient. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge, customized implementation and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to redefine dynamically than to optimize magnetically. The metrics for co-branded process management are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Do you have a game plan to become extensible, cutting-edge? The clicks-and-mortar, visionary structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. It comes off as confounding, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. We will revalue our ability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. We will seize the ability of mindshare to leverage. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our channels but our capacity to facilitate. We will inflate our capacity to mesh without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. Without super-sticky branding management, you will lack ROI metrics. EETimes is the industry leader of subscriber-defined M&A. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be robust? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Think micro-C2C2C. Think impactful, impactful. Think proactive. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. Without well-planned e-tailers, networks are forced to become B2C. Think next-generation. We have proven we know that if you redefine macro-wirelessly then you may also deliver robustly. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? Think e-business, 60/60/24/7/365. Think seamless. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.