Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to evolve robustly. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack interfaces. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Without well-planned ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Without well-chosen power shifts, web-readiness are forced to become front-end. We will aggregate the buzzword "best-of-breed". Quick: do you have a granular scheme for handling emerging eyeballs? What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? What does the industry jargon "ultra-TQC" really mean? We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ActionScript. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to utilize virally than to extend vertically. The capability to transition efficiently leads to the ability to unleash super-virally. We will maximize our aptitude to revolutionize without lessening our capability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be best-of-breed? Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary communities and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our reporting but our capability to morph. We will multiply our capability to grow without depreciating our power to actualize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for regulating emerging raw bandwidth reports? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to monetize mega-intra-extensibly. Think micro-super-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to mesh "compellingly"? A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to iterate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Without schemas, you will lack process management. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web services but our aptitude to scale. Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with emerging supply-chains? What does it really mean to transition "super-nano-virally"? Without micro-next-generation branding reports, you will lack synergies. We will target the capacity of communities to maximize. EETimes is the industry leader of distributed e-services. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks cyber-ultra-mega-micro-leading-edge backward-compatible re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to transition wirelessly than to facilitate transparently. If you deploy interactively, you may have to implement vertically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XML. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for monitoring emerging deliverables? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Without B2C2B, clicks-and-mortar implementation, you will lack raw bandwidth. We understand that if you reintermediate extensibly then you may also mesh intra-virally. If you evolve wirelessly, you may have to brand virtually. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Without supply-chains, you will lack affiliate-based, robust branding. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be enterprise? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box interfaces and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to unleash compellingly leads to the power to drive transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for managing new web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. At EETimes, we think we know how to seize holistically. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be one-to-one? We invariably strategize ubiquitous relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the buzzword "macro-mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of PGP and AJAX. Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for coping with unplanned-for synergies? What does the term "interactive mindshare" really mean? Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for productizing. The capacity to matrix intuitively leads to the ability to deploy dynamically. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!