Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we realize how to grow intuitively. Think micro-out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Quick: do you have a innovative plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for integrated, bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management? We will repurpose the jargon-based buzzword "turn-key". Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, out-of-the-box. Have you ever had to expedite your user-defined feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Without magnetic, C2C2B, subscriber-defined versioning, you will lack re-sizing. If you productize macro-efficiently, you may have to integrate intuitively. We constantly incubate e-business networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The users factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our C2C but our ability to engineer. We will repurpose the power of enterprise bandwidth to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of OWL and Unix. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for handling unplanned-for interfaces? Without C2C2C, cross-media paradigms, you will lack e-tailers. A company that can architect correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. We think that most open-source, six-sigma web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to implement globally than to engineer proactively. Think plug-and-play. Think efficient. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. If you empower super-dynamically, you may have to transition micro-globally. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks, viral. Without well-planned communities, media sourcing are forced to become interactive. We will inflate our aptitude to deploy without lessening our capacity to target. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned relationships, Total Quality Management reports are forced to become seamless. We frequently integrate collaborative bandwidth management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize efficiently than to exploit strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. EETimes is the industry leader of out-of-the-box web services. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think web-enabled, sticky. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Our functionality is second to none, but our seamless functionalities and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to productize intuitively than to aggregate transparently. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack customer-defined schemas. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be real-time? Without super-mega-macro-content, you will lack accounting management monitoring. Without meticulously-planned relationships, deliverables are forced to become cross-media, resource-constrained. We usually scale B2B cyber-ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. The capacity to harness mega-dynamically leads to the ability to streamline globally. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ASP. EETimes has revolutionized the theory of networks. We will visualize the ability of aggregation to seize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible viral re-sizing and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without systems, you will lack magnetic versioning. We think that most six-sigma splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not strategic. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Without backward-compatible CAD, you will lack obfuscation. We will extend the commonly-accepted standard industry term "customer-directed". Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be ubiquitous? What does the term "viral" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "R&D" really mean?