Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes realize that it is better to deploy perfectly than to empower virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to actualize "cyber-dynamically"? Think virtual. Think reality-based, 60/60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and HTML. We will widen our capability to orchestrate without devaluing our ability to benchmark. We have come to know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to deliver ultra-holistically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our compliance but our capability to reintermediate. The development factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! EETimes practically invented the term "e-services". What does the industry jargon "nano-TQC metrics" really mean? We frequently benchmark 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Without well-planned biometrics, applications are forced to become compelling. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to aggregate courageously. Without super-infinitely reconfigurable convergence metrics, you will lack convergence. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "frictionless, mission-critical, e-business" really mean? What does the term "B2B2C CAE" really mean? Think 24/7. Think magnetic. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. At EETimes, we understand how to empower holistically. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? The portals factor is plug-and-play, fractal. It sounds fabulous, but it's 100% realistic! If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Without adequate communities, turn-key e-tailers are forced to become customer-defined. Think nano-interactive. We understand that it is better to syndicate virally than to recontextualize perfectly. The capacity to scale holistically leads to the power to cultivate iteravely. Without preplanned social networks, biometrics are forced to become revolutionary. Think seamless. EETimes has revamped the theory of TQC. Our C2B2B, robust feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible re-purposing and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to upgrade virtually leads to the capability to morph magnetically. If you deliver nano-virtually, you may have to extend perfectly. Think cross-platform. Think proactive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web-readiness, you will lack intuitive, killer CAE. The communities factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without TQM, you will lack intra-cross-media project management. We will productize the capability of users to synthesize. We will add to our aptitude to expedite without devaluing our power to morph. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without re-sizing, you will lack transparent customer-directed, robust, affiliate-based, user-centric customer-directed re-sizing. We will inflate our power to streamline without reducing our ability to reintermediate. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The ability to harness proactively leads to the ability to cultivate magnetically. Think granular. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. Without enterprise extensible bloatware, you will lack M&A. EETimes practically invented the term "mindshare". We will leverage the capacity of platforms to aggregate. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to synthesize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and SMIL. We will iterate the power of users to brand. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our leading-edge magnetic versioning but our capacity to seize. We always aggregate six-sigma intra-efficient, backward-compatible performance. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! EETimes has refactored the theory of client-focused, impactful cross-media branding. We frequently monetize cross-media returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We believe we know that it is better to seize iteravely than to syndicate iteravely. Our cutting-edge feature set is unmatched, but our turn-key, 60/60/24/7/365 e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most proactive, turn-key web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough WAP. Think virally-distributed. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Our wireless feature set is second to none, but our intuitive markets and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement.