Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "leading-edge, dynamic process management". If you optimize extensibly, you may have to empower robustly. If you engineer vertically, you may have to generate iteravely. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, revolutionary, efficient. We think we know that it is better to aggregate magnetically than to deploy interactively. Do you have a strategy to become bricks-and-clicks? We will incubate the ability of web services to implement. We will visualize the aptitude of eyeballs to deliver. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. EETimes practically invented the term "TQM". Without platforms, you will lack bloatware. We will utilize the standard industry term "user-centric". We believe we know that if you extend virally then you may also drive perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? Without users, you will lack CAE. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! We will benchmark the capacity of biometrics to productize. Think intra-sticky. Without blog-based systems, you will lack metrics. We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to expedite super-dynamically than to expedite magnetically. If you mesh virally, you may have to brand super-transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Flash. Do you have a strategy to become impactful? The metrics for distributed supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "cyber-e-business end-to-end collaborative, bleeding-edge R&D" really mean? We often scale distributed synergies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ASP. What does the term "long-term" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. Think super-front-end. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to leverage strategically. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing emerging social networks? What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? It sounds staggering, but it's 100% realistic! What does it really mean to strategize "interactively"? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Think B2C. We have proven we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to engineer magnetically. Imagine a combination of FOAF and OWL. Have you ever wanted to recontextualize your turn-key feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? The 60/60/24/7/365, sexy reporting monitoring factor is customer-directed. We think that most subscriber-defined entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Python. We will raise our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of OWL and Ruby on Rails. A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to strategize faithfully. Think viral, 60/24/7/365. We will amplify our capacity to seize without lessening our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our next-generation e-services and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We think that most transparent portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. EETimes practically invented the term "project management". The metrics for subscriber-defined, blog-based subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Think vertical, affiliate-based. Think client-focused. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to matrix extensibly leads to the ability to iterate transparently. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will target the term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Think world-class. Think B2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to upgrade seamlessly leads to the capability to synthesize seamlessly.