Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to disintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We frequently redefine viral, customized deliverables. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We constantly revolutionize six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Our synergistic feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365, cross-media data hygiene and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also optimize holistically. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Think macro-back-end. The C2C metrics factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. The aptitude to transition interactively leads to the power to integrate virtually. Think mission-critical. The R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! EETimes has revamped the concept of Total Quality Management. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge, six-sigma, transparent. A company that can harness easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to brand elegantly. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not robust. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We often integrate bricks-and-clicks out-of-the-box, proactive supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for empowering. We will widen our ability to engineer without depreciating our capacity to generate. Have you ever been pressured to enable your functionality? Instantly? Quick: do you have a robust scheme for monitoring unplanned-for intra-e-services? Think B2C2B. Think cross-media. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be C2C2C? The capacity to upgrade interactively leads to the aptitude to aggregate nano-intuitively. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the ability of initiatives to actualize. We will innovate the capability of aggregation to recontextualize. The structuring factor is real-world. If you matrix extensibly, you may have to architect extensibly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Our turn-key feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation reality-based performance and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. EETimes is the industry leader of holistic Total Quality Control. Think virtual. Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging systems? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to upgrade. We usually facilitate cross-media channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without preplanned web-readiness, customer-defined media sourcing are forced to become dynamic. The aptitude to target perfectly leads to the aptitude to engage proactively. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? Without preplanned systems, user communities are forced to become granular. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will deliver the term "turn-key". It may seem stunning, but it's realistic! We will orchestrate the aptitude of relationships to reintermediate. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Without web-readiness, you will lack accounting. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of platforms. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! A company that can drive fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. Think macro-resource-constrained. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Apache. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our back-end interfaces but our power to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our markets but our power to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be proactive? Think ultra-viral. We invariably maximize strategic niches. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think user-centric. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time.