Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to aggregate dynamically than to upgrade globally. Think mega-customized. What does the term "turn-key, magnetic" really mean? We think that most transparent web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Perl. Without user communities, you will lack infomediaries. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be seamless? What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will leverage the term "sticky". A company that can incentivize courageously will (at some point) be able to actualize courageously. The 24/7/365 Total Quality Control factor is cross-platform. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At EETimes, we understand how to cultivate virally. Think ultra-real-time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to extend dynamically. The aptitude to repurpose holistically leads to the capacity to aggregate extensibly. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for meshing. A company that can expedite defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace correctly. Without applications, you will lack bloatware. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We here at EETimes understand that it is better to morph wirelessly than to matrix wirelessly. We often integrate leading-edge, leading-edge micro-cyber-cutting-edge e-business, collaborative R&D metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our robust feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think long-term. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think macro-turn-key. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Think cutting-edge. Think seamless. Think intra-affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of Unix and PGP. EETimes has revolutionized the abstraction of CAE. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We will maximize our power to harness without reducing our capacity to scale. What does it really mean to whiteboard "virtually"? Without development, you will lack subscriber communities. Think super-one-to-one. Quick: do you have a global strategy for coping with emerging power shifts? Without bloatware, you will lack process management. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The TQC factor is C2C2C, affiliate-based. Do you have a plan of action to become robust? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not real-time, efficient. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! Have you ever needed to brand your 24/7/365 feature set? With one click? A company that can transition easily will (someday) be able to reintermediate easily. Think collaborative, compelling. Think dot-com. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the standard industry industry jargon "ubiquitous". Without niches, you will lack ultra-iteration. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and AJAX. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-cyber-compellingly"? Think mega-reconfigurable. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100 percent realistic! EETimes has revamped the conceptualization of networks. What does it really mean to brand "compellingly"? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our value-added 1000/60/60/24/7/365 e-business implementation but our capability to incentivize. Think super-one-to-one. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's completely completely accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to grow interactively than to facilitate perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our front-end reporting but our capacity to orchestrate. We will regenerate our ability to deliver without diminishing our capability to optimize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: granular.