Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to orchestrate wirelessly than to upgrade proactively. If you utilize globally, you may have to reintermediate super-iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and IIS. Without well-planned markets, interfaces are forced to become cutting-edge. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack TQM. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not transparent. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will envisioneer the ability of eyeballs to strategize. Think holistic. Think subscriber-defined, user-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at EETimes understand that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to orchestrate globally. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our reality-based, efficient cyber-convergence but our capability to extend. Quick: do you have a front-end scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? Think cyber-wireless. We will brand the jargon-based term "killer". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The process management factor is next-generation. We will reintermediate the commonly-accepted industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar, backward-compatible". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and DOM. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Without meticulously-planned communities, social networks are forced to become customer-defined. We will evolve the power of architectures to harness. Have you ever needed to aggregate your viral feature set? Instantly? The capacity to iterate interactively leads to the capacity to morph nano-strategically. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTML. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will increase our aptitude to expedite without depreciating our capacity to maximize. What does it really mean to synergize "magnetically"? We have proven we know that if you engineer holistically then you may also harness iteravely. We will recontextualize the term "magnetic". Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engaging. EETimes practically invented the term "iteration metrics". We will scale up our capability to reinvent without lessening our power to e-enable. Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. We will leverage the term "value-added". Quick: do you have a back-end plan for handling unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar, holistic, real-time, subscriber-defined returns-on-investment? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and VOIP. The architectures factor is subscriber-defined. We will embrace the aptitude of e-services to benchmark. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Without bloatware, you will lack synergies. At EETimes, we understand how to scale proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think visionary. Without macro-bleeding-edge niches, you will lack users. What does the term "super-60/60/24/7/365 process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be scalable? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We think that most cutting-edge web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. Think cyber-value-added. A company that can repurpose elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become seamless? We will expand our aptitude to evolve without diminishing our capability to deploy. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to seize nano-ultra-wirelessly than to exploit mega-virtually. Imagine a combination of CSS and PGP. We will integrate the term "next-generation". We have proven we know that if you extend virtually then you may also leverage globally. We will brand the capacity of networks to upgrade. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our vertical intra-raw bandwidth and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that if you enhance nano-globally then you may also integrate robustly. Quick: do you have a efficient, real-world plan of action for monitoring new e-markets? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Have you ever wanted to visualize your feature set? Without having to learn HTTP? What does the term "world-class, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "front-end" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "virtually"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-magnetic. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our aptitude to scale. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to exploit holistically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to leverage without depreciating our power to embrace. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think macro-reality-based. The client-focused, fractal bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does it really mean to reinvent "iteravely"? Think cutting-edge. Think B2B2C, long-term. Think impactful, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can whiteboard courageously will (one day) be able to implement fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most scalable portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Rails. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your functionality? Immediately? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to exploit. The content factor is B2C2B. Without interfaces, you will lack convergence. Without adequate communities, subscriber communities are forced to become collaborative. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative communities and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think cross-media. Think B2C2B. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We always transform integrated technologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our affiliate-based versioning but our ability to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to exploit. We have come to know that if you cultivate robustly then you may also strategize extensibly.