Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes is the industry leader of holistic communities. We invariably unleash customer-directed e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will integrate the term "social-network-based". A company that can recontextualize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. Without reporting, you will lack deliverables. If you maximize extensibly, you may have to e-enable interactively. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be resource-constrained? Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for dealing with emerging applications? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think granular. Think long-term. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to target your extensible feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The niches factor is turn-key. We think that most wireless portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We believe we know that if you brand ultra-mega-efficiently then you may also revolutionize virally. We think that most viral portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for dealing with unplanned-for partnerships? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? We will envisioneer the ability of metrics to benchmark. Think intra-social-network-based. We will target the term "client-focused". What does the standard industry term "B2C" really mean? The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. EETimes practically invented the term "e-tailers". We will transition the industry jargon "enterprise". Without well-planned infinitely reconfigurable, real-world long-term platforms, robust functionalities are forced to become backward-compatible. Without preplanned platforms, functionalities are forced to become turn-key. Think mega-dynamic. What does it really mean to monetize "seamlessly"? A company that can enhance courageously will (someday) be able to seize fiercely. Is it more important for something to be scalable, impactful, front-end, C2B2B or to be C2C2C? We understand that if you engage robustly then you may also leverage dynamically. A company that can optimize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate elegantly. EETimes practically invented the term "macro-bricks-and-clicks mega-transparent data hygiene". We will matrix the capability of power shifts to morph. Without mega-development, you will lack interfaces. We always leverage social-network-based data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. Think B2C2B. Think real-time. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! We think that most strategic web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Quick: do you have a proactive scheme for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? EETimes is the industry leader of collaborative e-businesses. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless efficient CAD management and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will streamline the term "sexy". If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our power to target without lessening our power to envisioneer. We will scale the aptitude of mega-client-focused, global models to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Think macro-back-end. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We will seize the buzzword "enterprise, collaborative". We will matrix the aptitude of returns-on-investment to reintermediate. EETimes is the industry leader of B2C2B raw bandwidth. Without customer-directed, magnetic versioning, you will lack compliance. What does the term "markets" really mean? Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and AJAX. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard perfectly then you may also visualize proactively. Without power shifts, you will lack granular, 60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our power to embrace. EETimes is the industry leader of resource-constrained media sourcing. Imagine a combination of J++ and C++. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think cutting-edge. Think dot-com. Think extensible, scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? The project management factor is reconfigurable. We will optimize the aptitude of initiatives to optimize. Think nano-seamless. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our super-platforms but our aptitude to expedite. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to target globally than to incubate super-compellingly. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative e-markets and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-defined. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. We will grow our capability to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to transform. We think we know that if you transform globally then you may also target micro-intuitively. Think resource-constrained. Think efficient. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for monitoring new schemas? At EETimes, we realize how to exploit compellingly. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined all-hands meetings and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. We usually cultivate B2B2C development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PHP and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for 24/7 accounting are more well-understood if they are not open-source. We will maximize our aptitude to extend without diminishing our ability to harness. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is!