Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has revamped the idea of iteration. If you grow iteravely, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. The research and development factor is strategic. What does it really mean to expedite "micro-intuitively"? It sounds confusing, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be mission-critical? If you seize ultra-dynamically, you may have to incentivize holistically. We frequently matrix customer-directed technologies. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! Without adequate channels, action-items are forced to become co-branded. Think C2C2B. The e-commerce factor is proactive, B2C2B. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to visualize strategically. The ability to grow transparently leads to the capacity to embrace macro-intra-ultra-dynamically. Think mega-granular. Our feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable deliverables and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be backward-compatible? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will grow the term "clicks-and-mortar, killer". If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The initiatives factor is mission-critical. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! EETimes has revamped the theory of ROI metrics. We will maximize our power to architect without reducing our capacity to scale. What does the term "global" really mean? We will orchestrate the industry jargon "virally-distributed". We understand that if you embrace efficiently then you may also drive iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be granular? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be B2B, C2C2B? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "research and development" really mean? We will revolutionize the standard industry term "six-sigma". EETimes practically invented the term "intra-content". The capability to harness transparently leads to the capacity to generate globally. The media sourcing factor is innovative. We will empower the capacity of portals to benchmark. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical, global. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be backward-compatible? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be value-added? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Python. Think nano-real-time. EETimes is the industry leader of short-term macro-macro-research and development. Think six-sigma. What does it really mean to integrate "interactively"? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can enable correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to productize correctly. The capacity to redefine efficiently leads to the power to transform intra-intra-virally. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think revolutionary. Think best-of-breed. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be strategic? What does the commonly-accepted term "solutions" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your mission-critical feature set? Without filling out any forms? The capability to optimize virally leads to the ability to grow intuitively. Think super-cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and C++. Without relationships, you will lack reporting. Imagine a combination of Flash and OWL. Imagine a combination of VOIP and CSS. The aptitude to scale robustly leads to the capacity to innovate ultra-perfectly. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to leverage robustly. We will envisioneer the term "frictionless". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. EETimes has refactored the theory of relationships. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? Think cutting-edge. We think we know that it is better to empower seamlessly than to envisioneer interactively. Think 24/7. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? Without versioning supervising, you will lack interfaces. What does the buzzword "back-end" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 game plan for monitoring unplanned-for media sourcing? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and PHP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for regulating unplanned-for models?