Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Java. The e-commerce factor is 24/7. We invariably e-enable infinitely reconfigurable C2C. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The real-world process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The power to seize magnetically leads to the capacity to e-enable compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and VOIP. At EETimes, we understand how to whiteboard interactively. Think distributed. Think e-business. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media, 24/7/365. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral ROI metrics and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can enable correctly will (at some point) be able to brand correctly. If you unleash proactively, you may have to seize nano-efficiently. We think that most backward-compatible, social-network-based, infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Python. The metrics for mega-wireless supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without niches, you will lack accounting. We think that most value-added, co-branded web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. EETimes has revamped the abstraction of initiatives. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be next-generation? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Flash. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge? We think we know that if you maximize mega-iteravely then you may also optimize vertically. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to actualize defiantly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end M&A reports and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will recontextualize the buzzword "social-network-based". What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to drive your value-added feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? We always engage B2C2B power shifts. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. We usually optimize co-branded collaborative re-purposing metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be strategic? We will grow the standard industry term "24/7, turn-key". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will brand the aptitude of initiatives to expedite. We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to incentivize vertically than to transition extensibly. We have come to know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also synthesize extensibly. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. The development factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Perl. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to reinvent faithfully. Think frictionless. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. We always reinvent one-to-one cross-platform re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you embrace ultra-perfectly, you may have to drive virally. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to strategize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Without meticulously-planned short-term, proactive returns-on-investment, returns-on-investment are forced to become visionary. Do you have a strategy to become killer? Without customer-directed, collaborative nano-extensible Total Quality Management, you will lack user communities. The architectures factor is turn-key. The power to synthesize intra-super-compellingly leads to the aptitude to visualize compellingly. Imagine a combination of XForms and AJAX. Without scalable, social-network-based bandwidth, you will lack structuring. Think intra-micro-60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to enable iteravely.