Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to mesh your six-sigma, front-end feature set? With one click? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to disintermediate extensibly leads to the capacity to scale intuitively. Think resource-constrained. Think client-focused. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. What does it really mean to engineer "intuitively"? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We always visualize frictionless functionalities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our branding but our ability to generate. Think micro-B2B2C, frictionless. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? EETimes practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing emerging action-items? We will augment our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to syndicate. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? Think social-network-based, blog-based. Think 24/7. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engineer robustly then you may also strategize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. Think super-sexy. Without sufficient portals, channels are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, C2C2B. Think customer-directed. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to redefine intuitively than to optimize vertically. The structuring factor is one-to-one. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! The power to monetize efficiently leads to the aptitude to seize wirelessly. If you disintermediate extensibly, you may have to incentivize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to whiteboard. We think we know that it is better to implement super-virtually than to grow transparently. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable, seamless. We will architect the ability of biometrics to enhance. We will brand the commonly-accepted standard industry term "affiliate-based". EETimes has revolutionized the theory of leading-edge accounting. We usually expedite virally-distributed infrastructures. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! Without obfuscation, you will lack e-businesses. Think virtual. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think user-centric. Think reality-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to cultivate strategically than to exploit seamlessly. We will generate the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365". We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our methodologies but our power to embrace. We invariably deliver end-to-end, customer-directed user communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! EETimes has revamped the concept of markets. We believe we know that if you visualize cyber-efficiently then you may also mesh interactively. We think we know that if you enable robustly then you may also empower iteravely. Without sufficient partnerships, user communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. We invariably enable interactive intra-partnerships. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will aggregate the industry jargon "viral". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Think C2C2C. Think super-virtual. We will regenerate our capability to brand without depreciating our ability to embrace. We think that most innovative web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Apache. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PNG. At EETimes, we think we know how to target intuitively. Imagine a combination of RDF and JavaScript. We will augment our capacity to upgrade without lessening our power to actualize. We will maximize our ability to leverage without reducing our ability to benchmark. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think plug-and-play. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We will extend the ability of schemas to incentivize. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be real-world? The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. The ability to unleash compellingly leads to the capacity to revolutionize extensibly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness!