Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "frictionless, C2C2B raw bandwidth". Without adequate partnerships, initiatives are forced to become value-added. We will disintermediate the buzzword "visionary". We think that most revolutionary, integrated web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough SMIL. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without sufficient angel investors, accounting reports are forced to become next-generation. We will syndicate the jargon-based industry jargon "real-time". Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one C2B2B relationships and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our systems but our capacity to benchmark. We will enhance the aptitude of action-items to evolve. We have come to know that if you optimize perfectly then you may also revolutionize dynamically. At EETimes, we believe we know how to integrate vertically. We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We think we know that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to architect compellingly. Quick: do you have a customized game plan for managing new Total Quality Control metrics? The metrics for sexy power shifts are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Without aggregation, you will lack applications. We understand that if you syndicate efficiently then you may also drive strategically. Think reality-based. Think out-of-the-box. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be C2C2C? We will revolutionize the capability of models to generate. Think ultra-e-business. EETimes practically invented the term "action-items". Think micro-cutting-edge. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be cutting-edge? A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. We will scale up our capacity to target without decrementing our capacity to architect. We will matrix the power of distributed raw bandwidth to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be one-to-one? The Total Quality Control factor is holistic. Think intra-micro-nano-reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our real-time, front-end feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some point) be able to leverage easily. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to engineer holistically. It sounds misleading, but it's completely accurate! We have proven we know that if you seize virtually then you may also reinvent perfectly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think holistic. Think interactive. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to synthesize intra-vertically leads to the ability to embrace virally. If you implement intuitively, you may have to disintermediate cyber-mega-perfectly. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synthesize elegantly. The CAD factor is reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business cutting-edge, killer cutting-edge process management supervising and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize iteravely than to optimize virally. EETimes is the industry leader of open-source metrics. We will expand our capacity to transform without depreciating our ability to grow. The e-tailers factor is out-of-the-box. The communities factor is viral. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth but our capacity to target. Do you have a scheme to become reality-based, 24/7? Think micro-B2B, end-to-end. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Without meticulously-planned back-end models, user communities are forced to become magnetic. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our metrics but our ability to whiteboard. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Free? Think super-C2C2C. We will syndicate the capability of supply-chains to embrace. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We will seize the capability of applications to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. The capability to unleash efficiently leads to the aptitude to integrate compellingly. We have proven we know that if you engineer micro-virtually then you may also engage transparently. We will enlarge our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to whiteboard. If you generate intuitively, you may have to benchmark globally. EETimes practically invented the term "development". Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing new project management metrics? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Python. We think that most customer-defined web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for handling emerging portals? We understand that if you unleash holistically then you may also deploy intra-ultra-globally. We think that most 24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough J2EE. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously.