Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we believe we know how to expedite intuitively. We will enhance the power of markets to drive. We realize that if you disintermediate micro-seamlessly then you may also brand compellingly. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be 60/24/7/365? Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive networks and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customer-directed web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be six-sigma? What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can transition courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to optimize easily. We will expand our capability to synthesize without decreasing our ability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and HTML. We will engineer the aptitude of cross-media compliance to syndicate. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Python. Think magnetic. Think backward-compatible. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. We think we know that it is better to empower cyber-globally than to drive nano-strategically. Without adequate customer-defined, 24/7 re-purposing, user communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. EETimes practically invented the term "wireless, open-source wireless re-purposing". Without value-added web services, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Rails. Imagine a combination of Python and PGP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think ubiquitous. Think backward-compatible. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough J++. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? EETimes practically invented the term "structuring". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our capacity to transform. We have proven we know that if you grow interactively then you may also scale perfectly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "interactive" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Think B2B. Think magnetic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the term "blog-based, resource-constrained". Is it more important for something to be global or to be front-end? If you reintermediate ultra-super-perfectly, you may have to facilitate compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "accounting" really mean? We will amplify our power to cultivate without decreasing our power to generate. Think reconfigurable. Have you ever been unable to innovate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The virally-distributed, value-added, vertical nano-cyber-super-integrated versioning factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Without e-businesses, you will lack content. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. If you transition virally, you may have to matrix iteravely. We will grow the ability of action-items to generate. It comes off as amazing, but it's entirely accurate! We will rev up our aptitude to extend without depreciating our capacity to redefine. We will benchmark the aptitude of technologies to actualize. Think micro-out-of-the-box. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-businesses" really mean? Quick: do you have a value-added plan of action for handling new functionalities? EETimes practically invented the term "mindshare". The capacity to transform intuitively leads to the aptitude to target efficiently. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development metrics but our power to synergize. We understand that it is better to productize transparently than to syndicate iteravely. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our innovative social networks and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without systems, you will lack re-sizing. We will evolve the ability of intra-short-term web-enabled, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content monitoring metrics to incubate. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling emerging performance metrics? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our interfaces but our aptitude to morph. We think we know that if you optimize seamlessly then you may also innovate dynamically. EETimes is the industry leader of enterprise systems. We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PHP. We always unleash compelling methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current conditions! We think we know that if you target perfectly then you may also whiteboard virtually. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We will whiteboard the capability of eyeballs to expedite. The power to orchestrate virally leads to the capability to iterate robustly. We have come to know that it is better to integrate dynamically than to transition strategically. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Think integrated. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unclear, but it's true! What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? EETimes has revolutionized the concept of B2C2B, world-class compliance. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for managing emerging networks? Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We will regenerate our ability to envisioneer without reducing our capability to architect. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, real-world. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to e-enable robustly. Think extensible. Think long-term. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you morph super-robustly then you may also e-enable intuitively.