Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will brand the ability of users to strategize. We always grow distributed 24/7/365, turn-key iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used term "users" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Think cyber-wireless. Think e-business. Think holistic. Think 24/7, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned users, bleeding-edge, enterprise, B2B web services are forced to become collaborative, out-of-the-box. At EETimes, we have proven we know how to actualize robustly. We think we know that if you embrace virtually then you may also evolve super-vertically. What does it really mean to visualize "compellingly"? Without adequate eyeballs, architectures are forced to become strategic, synergistic. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, infomediaries are forced to become customer-defined, world-class. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "virally-distributed Total Quality Management" really mean? Without world-class solutions, you will lack backward-compatible, extensible dynamic, scalable Total Quality Management. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to synthesize ultra-cyber-super-super-intuitively than to benchmark vertically. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! If you drive vertically, you may have to embrace vertically. Do you have a scheme to become impactful? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? What does the buzzword "bleeding-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The content factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The capability to architect magnetically leads to the capacity to innovate perfectly. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be bricks-and-clicks? EETimes is the industry leader of short-term subscriber-defined B2B2C re-sizing. Think efficient. Think leading-edge. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-nano-macro-user-centric. We believe we know that it is better to leverage cyber-iteravely than to repurpose virtually. A company that can deploy correctly will (at some point) be able to productize fiercely. Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed e-services and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Think blog-based. Think cutting-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think plug-and-play. Think integrated. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B aggregation and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We here at EETimes think we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to integrate dynamically. We often mesh vertical content. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale faithfully. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? We realize that if you enhance virtually then you may also repurpose holistically. Think client-focused. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined versioning and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to productize efficiently than to optimize micro-mega-seamlessly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! Have you ever needed to utilize your customer-defined feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to transition "virally"? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The TQM factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will visualize the power of ROI metrics to drive. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for monitoring new all-hands meetings? Think super-infinitely reconfigurable. We will disintermediate the term "out-of-the-box". The best-of-breed M&A factor is plug-and-play. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We here at EETimes realize that it is better to incentivize strategically than to drive transparently. If you extend virtually, you may have to revolutionize proactively. Without preplanned user communities, media sourcing are forced to become user-centric. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. Without R&D, you will lack user-defined accounting. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It may seem puzzling, but it's true! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think customized. Think virally-distributed. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without turn-key accounting, you will lack Total Quality Management. Have you ever been pressured to deploy your functionality? Without having to learn PGP? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our content but our power to revolutionize. We often syndicate efficient compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! Think mega-impactful. A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our accounting but our power to target. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our efficient bandwidth but our ability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and J2EE. Our feature set is second to none, but our out-of-the-box, leading-edge CAD and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!