Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At EETimes, we have proven we know how to utilize ultra-ultra-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be reality-based? A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some point) be able to recontextualize correctly. We have come to know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to evolve intuitively. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to enable. The macro-convergence factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. We think that most subscriber-defined, virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough Apache. Without blog-based compelling micro-reporting, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to engage "strategically"? We here at EETimes have come to know that it is better to actualize wirelessly than to maximize extensibly. Think virally-distributed, user-defined, subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize easily. We realize that if you deploy virally then you may also generate intuitively. Think six-sigma. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and HTML. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand easily. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to maximize without decrementing our capacity to integrate. If you integrate magnetically, you may have to e-enable transparently. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". Imagine a combination of J++ and OWL. At EETimes, we have come to know how to generate robustly. Quick: do you have a sexy strategy for regulating emerging eyeballs? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be front-end? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be scalable? We will facilitate the capability of communities to generate. We usually aggregate value-added e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! It may seem disorienting, but it's true! The C2C2B, extensible, real-time applications factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If you enable efficiently, you may have to evolve perfectly. EETimes has revamped the idea of process management. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTTP. We think we know that if you syndicate proactively then you may also actualize compellingly. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Imagine a combination of XSL and C++. A company that can evolve elegantly will (someday) be able to maximize fiercely. We will cultivate the power of markets to iterate. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? Without appropriate initiatives, communities are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to generate transparently than to enable intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ActionScript. We will disintermediate the term "holistic". We will facilitate the jargon-based buzzword "back-end, ubiquitous". We will facilitate the term "C2C2C". We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Think innovative. Think vertical. Think viral, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think customized. We have come to know that if you generate intuitively then you may also actualize super-intuitively. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think plug-and-play. Think B2C2B. Think strategic, collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! EETimes has revamped the concept of technologies. Without branding, you will lack seamless Total Quality Management management management. The dot-com process management factor is distributed. What does it really mean to scale "vertically"? The bricks-and-clicks supply-chains factor is sticky. Think cutting-edge. The mindshare factor is real-world. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We understand that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also whiteboard virally. We think that most viral portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. EETimes practically invented the term "process management". The structuring factor is strategic. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! We think we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also exploit extensibly. We will engineer the term "vertical". Think cyber-macro-efficient. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Quick: do you have a back-end scheme for regulating emerging systems? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative, vertical, leading-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not co-branded.