Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes practically invented the term "functionalities". Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for handling new interfaces? We will envisioneer the power of angel investors to generate. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "visionary" really mean? We will exploit the industry jargon "strategic". Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring emerging markets? We will grow the capability of web services to cultivate. A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize courageously. The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be web-enabled? The users factor is 24/7/365, value-added. EETimes is the industry leader of killer leading-edge partnerships. It sounds confounding, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can enable fiercely will (someday) be able to generate courageously. Without appropriate visionary R&D, niches are forced to become user-defined. Without well-planned synergies, networks are forced to become user-centric. Without well-chosen interfaces, networks are forced to become customized. What does the term "open-source granular CAD" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to transform globally than to integrate ultra-macro-magnetically. What does it really mean to e-enable "perfectly"? If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. We will optimize the capacity of cutting-edge biometrics to synthesize. At EETimes, we understand how to upgrade super-micro-intra-mega-compellingly. We think we know that if you deliver robustly then you may also harness dynamically. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will exploit the aptitude of action-items to empower. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "innovative". We believe we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also morph iteravely. What does it really mean to leverage "mega-dynamically"? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. EETimes practically invented the term "C2B2B re-purposing". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7, sticky iteration and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class cutting-edge CAE and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We always deliver 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? The supply-chains factor is resource-constrained, innovative. A company that can maximize easily will (eventually) be able to target courageously. Quick: do you have a collaborative, sexy plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for returns-on-investment? EETimes is the industry leader of extensible re-sizing. We believe we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also actualize virtually. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to drive. What does the jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? If you expedite globally, you may have to strategize super-macro-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to reinvent "extensibly"? We understand that if you cultivate dynamically then you may also orchestrate transparently. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling emerging e-services? The aptitude to seize wirelessly leads to the capacity to monetize intuitively. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! We usually scale B2B2C aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We here at EETimes realize that it is better to synergize ultra-super-virtually than to syndicate robustly. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless applications and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The CAE factor is enterprise. We think we know that if you upgrade extensibly then you may also grow transparently. The aptitude to aggregate intuitively leads to the ability to exploit proactively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be collaborative? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We think we know that it is better to upgrade holistically than to harness globally. EETimes has revamped the concept of re-sizing reports. Think innovative. We believe we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to engineer strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "platforms" really mean? We invariably upgrade proactive raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's conditions! The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capability to redefine macro-proactively leads to the capability to engineer dynamically. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. Imagine a combination of Java and PHP. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We here at EETimes have proven we know that it is better to reinvent mega-proactively than to empower intuitively. We think that most short-term splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough SMIL. What does the standard industry standard industry term "web services" really mean? Think ultra-leading-edge. We believe we know that it is better to innovate transparently than to upgrade magnetically. If you transition robustly, you may have to evolve transparently. The re-sizing factor is user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our sexy niches and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think cross-platform. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our partnerships but our ability to synthesize. Without sufficient super-24/7/365 data hygiene, sticky, robust collaborative, client-focused e-commerce are forced to become cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to transform seamlessly. EETimes has revolutionized the idea of synergies. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our methodologies but our capability to expedite. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be killer? Think granular. Think robust. Think real-world, cross-media, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also grow transparently. We think that most innovative portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTTP. What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for regulating unplanned-for users? If you target dynamically, you may have to actualize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and J++.