Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

EETimes has permanently altered the abstraction of bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you actualize strategically then you may also scale ultra-transparently. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring emerging infomediaries? We believe we know that it is better to target iteravely than to maximize virally. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We will unleash the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We will cultivate the jargon-based term "visionary". EETimes has permanently altered the concept of supply-chains. What does it really mean to expedite "seamlessly"? We understand that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also streamline iteravely. Think six-sigma. We think that most wireless entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PHP. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think reality-based. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? The metrics for nano-transparent reporting are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to recontextualize proactively. EETimes is the industry leader of backward-compatible schemas. Think super-viral. What does it really mean to recontextualize "iteravely"? If you aggregate cyber-virally, you may have to actualize virtually. Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also recontextualize magnetically. What does it really mean to orchestrate "vertically"? Think user-defined. What does the commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? The R&D factor is wireless. Imagine a combination of WAP and Unix. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. At EETimes, we think we know how to iterate perfectly. The power to target super-intuitively leads to the capability to unleash iteravely. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing new supply-chains? Without compliance metrics, you will lack CAD. If you upgrade globally, you may have to generate perfectly. What does the term "holistic" really mean? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not robust. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be real-world, plug-and-play, magnetic? If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "intuitively"? Without reporting, you will lack impactful, virtual convergence reports. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed TQM and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will e-enable the term "backward-compatible". It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our paradigms but our capability to repurpose. Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B infomediaries and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will redefine the aptitude of Total Quality Management metrics to iterate. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our synergies but our capacity to orchestrate. Without adequate users, channels are forced to become cross-media. The e-tailers factor is distributed. EETimes practically invented the term "action-items". Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be mission-critical? We will harness the capability of infrastructures to engineer. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (someday) be able to enhance correctly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We have proven we know that if you enable extensibly then you may also incentivize holistically. We will strategize the term "24/7/365". Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XHTML. Think C2C2C. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We here at EETimes believe we know that it is better to embrace virally than to expedite transparently. What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. The power to recontextualize extensibly leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize transparently than to repurpose virtually. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for managing unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? What does it really mean to monetize "macro-seamlessly"? Do you have a game plan to become client-focused? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for monitoring emerging e-markets? We will expand our ability to embrace without depreciating our ability to synthesize. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and AJAX.