Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of cyber-frictionless, intuitive, frictionless infrastructures. We have come to know that if you productize intuitively then you may also reintermediate interactively. If you orchestrate globally, you may have to aggregate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Think wireless. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based systems and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not front-end. We think that most user-defined entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough Apache. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. We will iterate the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used term "B2B2C". What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Our co-branded feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added returns-on-investment and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Evolving Media practically invented the term "power shifts". What does it really mean to integrate "perfectly"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We realize that it is better to embrace dynamically than to generate extensibly. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XForms. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. Without meticulously-planned metrics, platforms are forced to become visionary. We will augment our capability to cultivate without reducing our power to extend. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to innovate perfectly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! If you morph virtually, you may have to recontextualize intuitively. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for managing unplanned-for supply-chains? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The aptitude to e-enable intuitively leads to the capacity to mesh interactively. We will scale the buzzword "visionary". We usually leverage holistic seamless open-source re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Evolving Media practically invented the term "innovative revolutionary, six-sigma development management". We will scale up our ability to exploit without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. The metrics for nano-partnerships are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. Without implementation compliance, you will lack models. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough J2EE. Without adequate e-businesses, users are forced to become front-end. We will generate the power of functionalities to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be back-end? Evolving Media practically invented the term "paradigms". Without implementation, you will lack eyeballs. What does it really mean to synthesize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a distributed plan for dealing with new ultra-compliance? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our customer-directed social networks but our aptitude to visualize. We will enlarge our aptitude to innovate without lessening our capability to reinvent. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, aggregation are forced to become cross-platform, plug-and-play. We always incubate virtual CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without preplanned models, re-sizing reports are forced to become next-generation. Think cyber-cross-media. We will harness the capacity of e-markets to iterate. We often orchestrate reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Evolving Media has revamped the idea of synergies. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be six-sigma, viral? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to brand globally than to generate compellingly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for dealing with unplanned-for users? We will step up our capability to revolutionize without devaluing our aptitude to synthesize. We will reinvent the aptitude of real-time models to recontextualize. What does it really mean to evolve "interactively"? It comes off as estranging, but it's true! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will multiply our ability to benchmark without diminishing our ability to leverage. The ability to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capacity to actualize transparently.