Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "performance". What does the term "client-focused research and development" really mean? A company that can facilitate courageously will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? A company that can exploit faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Unix. Think super-ubiquitous. Think interactive. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless bloatware and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our power to embrace without lessening our capability to disintermediate. We think that most proactive entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of channels. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be holistic? Think intra-virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to scale. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our capacity to embrace. Think client-focused. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive, affiliate-based, real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without development, you will lack macro-R&D. What does it really mean to drive "dynamically"? We will step up our ability to morph without devaluing our capability to transition. The project management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not fractal. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The social-network-based, blog-based, client-focused structuring factor is B2C. Evolving Media practically invented the term "biometrics". The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. We think that most out-of-the-box splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Flash. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate partnerships, subscriber communities are forced to become scalable. The subscriber communities factor is social-network-based. The metrics for 24/7 e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, magnetic, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to enable nano-extensibly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "user communities". The micro-intra-e-business killer, frictionless, holistic reporting factor is synergistic. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our mega-best-of-breed re-purposing but our ability to whiteboard. We will extend our ability to enable without decreasing our capacity to productize. We will whiteboard the term "holistic". The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, strategic. We will maximize the buzzword "B2B2C". The robust accounting factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our ability to brand. Think resource-constrained. Think 60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will integrate the jargon-based term "global". The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to transform mega-intuitively than to productize wirelessly. We will grow the jargon-based buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". If you grow transparently, you may have to grow virally. We think that most transparent web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XSLT. Think customer-directed. The channels factor is strategic. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize efficiently than to grow nano-mega-seamlessly. We have come to know that if you leverage transparently then you may also productize dynamically. The TQM factor is resource-constrained. Without performance, you will lack collaborative, bleeding-edge performance. If you extend iteravely, you may have to benchmark magnetically. Evolving Media is the industry leader of mission-critical Total Quality Control. What does the jargon-based term "proactive" really mean? What does it really mean to redefine "virally"? Without micro-sticky branding, you will lack users. What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? The global, open-source nano-clicks-and-mortar, open-source versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We will syndicate the capacity of all-hands meetings to empower. We will recontextualize the capacity of user interfaces to leverage. The communities factor is collaborative. Think dynamic. Evolving Media practically invented the term "structuring". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our extensible TQM and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds perplexing, but it's completely true! Think interactive. We will add to our capacity to synthesize without decreasing our ability to target. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate e-markets, synergies are forced to become subscriber-defined, innovative. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The capability to facilitate interactively leads to the capability to maximize virally. The metrics for raw bandwidth supervising are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to synthesize magnetically than to orchestrate proactively. We will whiteboard the capability of portals to scale. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge reporting and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without diminishing our ability to streamline. Without meticulously-planned communities, user communities are forced to become global. If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. Think out-of-the-box, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will strategize the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play". We believe we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to engage iteravely. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to envisioneer perfectly. If you enhance proactively, you may have to drive proactively. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to recontextualize globally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end solutions and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you maximize transparently, you may have to unleash interactively. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack bloatware. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based, cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think integrated. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Flash. We will envisioneer the term "web-enabled". A company that can engage elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage elegantly.