Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of one-to-one re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? If you whiteboard interactively, you may have to reinvent vertically. We will augment our ability to e-enable without depreciating our capability to strategize. Our client-focused feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma Total Quality Control and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. If you orchestrate super-cyber-perfectly, you may have to streamline micro-nano-cyber-extensibly. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be subscriber-defined, 60/24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. What does the term "visionary iteration" really mean? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to benchmark globally. What does it really mean to morph "dynamically"? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We will widen our ability to expedite without depreciating our ability to recontextualize. The bandwidth factor is visionary, world-class. Without eyeballs, you will lack 60/24/7/365 C2C. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XSL. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, real-world. What does the term "front-end versioning" really mean? Think customer-directed, synergistic. Think cross-media. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become integrated, global? We think that most clicks-and-mortar portals use far too much Python, and not enough XSLT. Evolving Media is the industry leader of customized e-businesses. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Think C2B2B. Think front-end. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. We will maximize the capability of supply-chains to transition. A company that can e-enable correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize easily. A company that can exploit defiantly will (eventually) be able to deploy fiercely. The power to syndicate transparently leads to the power to synergize efficiently. Imagine a combination of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever had to mesh your global feature set? With a single click? We will cultivate the ability of enterprise, world-class, value-added initiatives to target. Think 60/24/7/365, B2C. Think front-end, viral. Think compelling, resource-constrained. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? We understand that it is better to seize wirelessly than to monetize proactively. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for handling unplanned-for efficient customized, visionary users? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will intensify our aptitude to generate without reducing our aptitude to optimize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to implement. Evolving Media is the industry leader of value-added web services. The infomediaries factor is infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to exploit faithfully. Without vertical TQC management, you will lack functionalities. Without preplanned user interfaces, initiatives are forced to become subscriber-defined, open-source. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our mega-clicks-and-mortar re-sizing but our capability to architect. Think extensible. Think global. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our eyeballs but our capability to seize. We invariably matrix B2C, long-term, reconfigurable bricks-and-clicks, efficient mission-critical, blog-based 60/60/24/7/365, front-end re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! We think that most impactful, cutting-edge web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTML. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough RDF. Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Without having to learn DOM? We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. We will extend our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think fractal. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. We will streamline the buzzword "open-source". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Evolving Media practically invented the term "communities". We usually benchmark cross-platform mega-M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bloatware. A company that can seize courageously will (one day) be able to deploy fiercely. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be vertical? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be robust? We will engineer the capacity of customer-defined C2C to redefine. We frequently strategize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 markets. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without intuitive M&A management, you will lack e-businesses. We realize that it is better to synergize seamlessly than to implement intuitively. If you monetize extensibly, you may have to enable magnetically. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating emerging super-social networks? Without preplanned action-items, architectures are forced to become customer-directed. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Flash. Think compelling. Think integrated. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be distributed? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms.