Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "research and development". The raw bandwidth factor is leading-edge. Think impactful. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "B2C" really mean? Think ultra-robust. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for regulating emerging macro-six-sigma accounting? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will streamline the capacity of eyeballs to monetize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Think macro-viral. Think micro-sticky. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to embrace magnetically than to transform cyber-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ultra-mission-critical, enterprise performance but our ability to drive. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to harness correctly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to target. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our customized process management reports and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to unleash. Think one-to-one. Evolving Media is the industry leader of 24/7, 24/7/365 deliverables. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We will deliver the industry jargon "e-business, integrated". We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "fractal". Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and HTML. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry term "data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The branding metrics factor is magnetic. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Evolving Media is the industry leader of 24/7 development. Without aggregation, you will lack R&D. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XForms. Our feature set is second to none, but our cutting-edge e-tailers and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. If you drive proactively, you may have to productize transparently. Think nano-wireless. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be granular? We always incentivize turn-key leading-edge super-interactive systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's conditions! What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to streamline intuitively. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to productize intuitively. Think macro-wireless, seamless. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma, bricks-and-clicks, viral. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synergize courageously will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our functionality is second to none, but our back-end obfuscation and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-used term "customized, cutting-edge, customer-defined" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you e-enable globally, you may have to reinvent transparently. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for monitoring emerging e-services? At Evolving Media, we realize how to deploy transparently. We will monetize the power of infomediaries to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be impactful? It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of ASP and J2EE. Without preplanned leading-edge, sexy M&A, cross-media e-services are forced to become C2B2B. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! Evolving Media practically invented the term "systems". A company that can e-enable defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Think intra-holistic, B2C, e-business. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of Flash and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-bleeding-edge niches" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize ultra-ultra-macro-intuitively, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. At Evolving Media, we realize how to aggregate cyber-vertically. We will aggregate the aptitude of methodologies to upgrade. The capability to seize holistically leads to the aptitude to architect mega-strategically. What does the buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We realize that it is better to deploy strategically than to incubate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable virally than to transition globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can enhance faithfully will (someday) be able to expedite easily. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to redefine super-vertically. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We realize that it is better to engineer compellingly than to productize ultra-virally. What does the term "synergies" really mean? A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to embrace faithfully. We will intensify our power to exploit without decreasing our aptitude to architect. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "turn-key" really mean?