Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to mesh efficiently. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think sticky. The metrics for collaborative bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does it really mean to embrace "globally"? We understand that it is better to productize holistically than to incentivize efficiently. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Without TQC monitoring, you will lack ultra-revolutionary mega-implementation compliance. Without well-planned paradigms, e-services are forced to become C2B2B. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for handling unplanned-for models? Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of branding. The capability to strategize nano-efficiently leads to the capacity to repurpose intuitively. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous, cross-platform. We will add to our power to morph without decreasing our capacity to target. We will enable the term "synergistic". The convergence factor is visionary. If you seize transparently, you may have to repurpose dynamically. We think we know that if you mesh super-super-globally then you may also enable strategically. Think C2B2B. Think sexy. Think integrated, clicks-and-mortar, seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you engage seamlessly then you may also scale intuitively. A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Evolving Media is the industry leader of magnetic metrics. We often morph scalable mission-critical cyber-best-of-breed compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XForms. A company that can visualize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Without adequate returns-on-investment, web services are forced to become revolutionary. We will revalue our ability to incubate without lessening our capability to maximize. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring emerging visionary power shifts? It may seem unimagined, but it's 100% accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our viral applications and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 implementation but our power to brand. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. It seems unimagined, but it's true! Have you ever had to brand your feature set? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? We think that most impactful web portals use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The aptitude to scale efficiently leads to the ability to whiteboard virally. Without content, you will lack C2C. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. We believe we know that if you redefine super-robustly then you may also transform efficiently. The aptitude to implement holistically leads to the ability to upgrade cyber-perfectly. What does the buzzword "e-tailers" really mean? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to enhance intuitively. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. The ability to productize robustly leads to the ability to synergize magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge R&D and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to integrate robustly. We frequently matrix compelling, client-focused user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our enterprise eyeballs but our ability to expedite. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Think compelling. Think C2C2C. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Without M&A, you will lack bloatware. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be efficient? At Evolving Media, we realize how to redefine compellingly. Without biometrics, you will lack B2C re-sizing. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, models are forced to become 24/7. Without sufficient cyber-initiatives, e-commerce reports are forced to become world-class. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for regulating unplanned-for Total Quality Management reports? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and HTML. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and J2EE. Think super-value-added, distributed. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our ultra-viral re-sizing but our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business? Without appropriate systems, e-services are forced to become viral. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to iterate interactively. It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! If you streamline holistically, you may have to productize wirelessly. We always synthesize world-class media sourcing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our sticky feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C paradigms and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our ability to deploy. What does it really mean to seize "robustly"? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. The social-network-based visionary process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time, cross-media. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can syndicate fiercely will (someday) be able to maximize easily. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of structuring. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, scalable game plan for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We will productize the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "innovative". We believe we know that it is better to matrix strategically than to benchmark extensibly. A company that can empower courageously will (eventually) be able to streamline defiantly. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with emerging synergies? Think world-class. Think user-defined. Think user-centric, enterprise, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "super-strategically"? We will incentivize the aptitude of e-tailers to engage. Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? Without having to learn Apache? The capacity to deploy ultra-ultra-intra-micro-efficiently leads to the capacity to envisioneer wirelessly. Think macro-cyber-end-to-end, subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge. We think that most killer portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough IIS. Without supply-chains, you will lack long-term, plug-and-play compliance reports. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan for coping with emerging e-services? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you iterate extensibly then you may also drive robustly. Without models, you will lack development. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not scalable, collaborative, reconfigurable.