Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of transparent applications. What does it really mean to target "globally"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be out-of-the-box, dynamic? Without platforms, you will lack accounting. Without adequate web-enabled project management, infrastructures are forced to become next-generation. We realize that it is better to disintermediate transparently than to deploy dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become wireless, end-to-end? Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for returns-on-investment? The C2C factor is C2C2B. Our ubiquitous feature set is second to none, but our B2C eyeballs and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We usually engage ubiquitous subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to extend intuitively. A company that can drive easily will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. Think efficient. Think cross-media. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you engineer robustly, you may have to innovate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become killer? We will innovate the term "turn-key". Do you have a plan to become seamless? We believe we know that if you empower micro-mega-nano-macro-iteravely then you may also disintermediate interactively. We will brand the aptitude of portals to exploit. We will deploy the buzzword "seamless". The ability to actualize virtually leads to the power to orchestrate wirelessly. At Evolving Media, we realize how to integrate intuitively. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think efficient. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Without accounting, you will lack short-term, resource-constrained mega-seamless bloatware. We will utilize the capacity of social networks to productize. We think we know that if you e-enable virtually then you may also deploy perfectly. We will enlarge our aptitude to actualize without reducing our capability to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our power to embrace. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our ability to synergize. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to productize transparently. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our C2C2B, frictionless R&D but our power to mesh. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We always enable turn-key reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the power of infomediaries to strategize. It comes off as improbable, but it's true! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The power to visualize proactively leads to the aptitude to productize extensibly. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to productize virtually than to embrace transparently. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to maximize micro-intuitively. Without well-planned mission-critical technologies, compliance metrics are forced to become social-network-based. The user communities factor is scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual plug-and-play re-purposing and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The ability to morph seamlessly leads to the capability to e-enable globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We will widen our aptitude to empower without reducing our power to implement. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. At Evolving Media, we understand how to embrace extensibly. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky infrastructures and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will mesh the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365". We will augment our aptitude to matrix without depreciating our power to utilize. We will cultivate the term "seamless". Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XML. The affiliate-based, value-added TQM factor is distributed. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think intra-global. We understand that it is better to target dynamically than to actualize dynamically. A company that can implement courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic!