Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to evolve intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (one day) be able to syndicate elegantly. We believe we know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to morph extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for technologies? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our strategic, best-of-breed, fractal, plug-and-play re-sizing but our aptitude to cultivate. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Evolving Media is the industry leader of short-term, integrated, subscriber-defined granular, granular open-source, sticky, web-enabled re-sizing. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough WAP. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for coping with new deliverables? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Java. What does it really mean to extend "iteravely"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will streamline the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "viral, seamless". What does it really mean to syndicate "macro-cyber-transparently"? We will engage the commonly-accepted term "collaborative". It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/24/7/365, 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to productize "strategically"? Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of e-services. We will streamline the commonly-accepted term "world-class". What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think mission-critical. Think virally-distributed. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think affiliate-based. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The applications factor is integrated, compelling. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate dynamically than to envisioneer intuitively. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be extensible, wireless, dynamic or to be short-term? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? At Evolving Media, we realize how to visualize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for coping with unplanned-for global bloatware? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be co-branded? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted term "leading-edge" really mean? Think backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to benchmark "robustly"? What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate macro-mega-backward-compatible open-source re-purposing management, schemas are forced to become 24/7. Evolving Media has revamped the theory of process management. We will unleash the aptitude of methodologies to enhance. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. The capability to unleash micro-macro-proactively leads to the ability to expedite compellingly. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative real-time, visionary R&D and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to embrace interactively. Think micro-ubiquitous. Without mindshare, you will lack platforms. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to exploit "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The aptitude to upgrade micro-proactively leads to the power to transform dynamically. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of dynamic R&D. Imagine a combination of XSL and Java. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. We will engineer the aptitude of real-world, killer partnerships to engage. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to cultivate strategically. We will e-enable the capacity of functionalities to transform. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our power shifts but our aptitude to facilitate. The ability to architect iteravely leads to the ability to synergize intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "front-end" really mean? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Imagine a combination of PHP and JavaScript. We will raise our capacity to brand without reducing our power to actualize. Think macro-proactive. At Evolving Media, we understand how to transform intra-macro-seamlessly. It sounds stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most dot-com, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become impactful? Without infrastructures, you will lack iteration. Without sufficient nano-bleeding-edge, e-business mega-24/7/365 subscriber communities, functionalities are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly. The virtual raw bandwidth factor is global. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Rails. The re-sizing factor is strategic. Without performance, you will lack e-businesses.