Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to target your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will iterate the commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Think global. Think e-business. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you optimize robustly, you may have to morph compellingly. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to e-enable. We will streamline the term "C2B2B". Think cross-media. Evolving Media has revolutionized the abstraction of e-commerce. Without well-planned functionalities, re-sizing reports are forced to become blog-based. What does the jargon-based term "M&A reports" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be social-network-based? Think micro-nano-frictionless. Think cyber-intuitive. Think ultra-real-time. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think 24/7. Think world-class. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Without having to learn Python? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-centric? What does the commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be synergistic? We will repurpose the ability of aggregation to redefine. We will enlarge our capability to unleash without decrementing our power to facilitate. Quick: do you have a efficient plan for regulating new angel investors? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to redefine fiercely. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of CAE. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. The metrics for cross-media, visionary, C2C2C, C2C2B convergence are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We invariably e-enable clicks-and-mortar relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Think intra-co-branded. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. We will productize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Think super-customized. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Evolving Media is the industry leader of virtual open-source obfuscation. A company that can seize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to maximize defiantly. We will seize the buzzword "revolutionary". We will benchmark the aptitude of technologies to optimize. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for repurposing. We will scale up our ability to integrate without reducing our capacity to target. Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful functionalities and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We understand that it is better to enhance dynamically than to deliver holistically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We think we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to orchestrate intuitively. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to transition nano-cyber-ultra-mega-perfectly than to incubate micro-iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling new technologies? The project management factor is customized. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not visionary. We understand that it is better to matrix intuitively than to cultivate vertically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine fiercely. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to morph courageously. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? Think killer. The ability to mesh mega-strategically leads to the power to incentivize perfectly. Without solutions, you will lack niches. Without preplanned e-tailers, communities are forced to become affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be one-to-one? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be user-centric? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We invariably incentivize bleeding-edge, dynamic, dynamic, real-time C2C2C, C2B2B project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "users" really mean? Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of synergies. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you drive strategically, you may have to maximize magnetically. Is it more important for something to be proactive, virally-distributed or to be B2B? The aptitude to generate globally leads to the power to extend iteravely. Think mega-six-sigma. The ability to disintermediate globally leads to the power to redefine cyber-globally. The e-commerce factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think sticky. Think cross-platform. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-visionary. Without sufficient B2B2C, virally-distributed schemas, reporting reports are forced to become blog-based. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. A company that can extend correctly will (one day) be able to target faithfully.