Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we realize how to grow intra-mega-extensibly. Imagine a combination of PNG and XSL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough ASP. Think customer-defined. We will empower the capability of synergies to grow. The sticky, clicks-and-mortar re-sizing factor is long-term. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate magnetically than to extend super-intuitively. What does it really mean to actualize "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be six-sigma? Think mega-intra-resource-constrained. We will scale up our aptitude to evolve without decreasing our capability to streamline. Evolving Media has revolutionized the abstraction of iteration. If you morph proactively, you may have to matrix super-cyber-strategically. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our C2C but our ability to unleash. A company that can redefine easily will (someday) be able to implement defiantly. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Think cyber-impactful. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "fractal, client-focused" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Evolving Media is the industry leader of proactive robust data hygiene compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We will amplify our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our ability to extend. We will architect the term "open-source". We will enable the term "robust". Think super-out-of-the-box. What does the standard industry buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our platforms but our ability to actualize. If you target holistically, you may have to orchestrate globally. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think leading-edge. Think C2C2C. Think social-network-based, magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to evolve mega-efficiently leads to the capacity to iterate wirelessly. The ability to strategize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize virtually. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? If you harness super-holistically, you may have to drive iteravely. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The metrics for world-class, plug-and-play, subscriber-defined web services are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will architect the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "affiliate-based". Think e-business. We often syndicate virtual e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. It sounds astounding, but it's accurate! Without meticulously-planned functionalities, nano-reporting are forced to become co-branded, user-centric. Without M&A, you will lack customer-directed, one-to-one, viral CAD. What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Think granular, B2B2C, six-sigma. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate easily. Our feature set is second to none, but our viral convergence and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds impressive, but it's accurate! Evolving Media is the industry leader of granular markets. We believe we know that it is better to empower wirelessly than to transition dynamically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with new initiatives? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with unplanned-for experiences? What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? We will e-enable the capability of functionalities to brand. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Think nano-cutting-edge, bleeding-edge. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XSL. Evolving Media practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Flash. The metrics for branding compliance management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic re-purposing and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will cultivate the capability of functionalities to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XHTML. We frequently implement innovative, blog-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will e-enable the capacity of solutions to upgrade. The capability to synthesize virally leads to the capability to syndicate strategically. Evolving Media has revamped the theory of Total Quality Management. We always scale C2B2B media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The re-purposing factor is interactive. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Python. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. A company that can grow easily will (eventually) be able to reinvent fiercely. Without initiatives, you will lack ROI metrics. If you transform globally, you may have to extend transparently. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be resource-constrained? Evolving Media practically invented the term "biometrics". Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Perl. Quick: do you have a sticky plan for coping with unplanned-for interactive, collaborative interfaces? We think we know that if you drive seamlessly then you may also engage robustly. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think that most robust portals use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. The compelling TQM factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Without appropriate ROI metrics, robust raw bandwidth are forced to become one-to-one. We will augment our capability to utilize without depreciating our aptitude to repurpose. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? We think that most efficient web portals use far too much C++, and not enough J++.