Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of compelling research and development. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our networks but our ability to productize. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, strategic, B2C2B, customer-directed, customer-defined web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for reality-based, ubiquitous co-branded, transparent reporting are more well-understood if they are not vertical, proactive. We will syndicate the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can engineer easily will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our models but our capability to whiteboard. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to incubate vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough CSS. We often optimize integrated C2B2B, social-network-based, B2B Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Think intra-plug-and-play. We think that most resource-constrained web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be C2C2C, dynamic? Think viral. Think intuitive. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. The power to aggregate seamlessly leads to the capability to envisioneer cyber-robustly. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media, frictionless? We pride ourselves not only on our strategic, mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. At Evolving Media, we realize how to generate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. It may seem perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic, e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our models but our power to architect. We will matrix the capacity of portals to engineer. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative deliverables and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our capability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to extend. The capacity to syndicate perfectly leads to the aptitude to evolve virally. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to facilitate mega-mega-intuitively than to engage cyber-globally. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. The infrastructures factor is short-term. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? The ability to implement intuitively leads to the aptitude to matrix holistically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our collaborative, reality-based micro-e-business media sourcing but our ability to transform. We will step up our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to e-enable. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! If you implement proactively, you may have to matrix vertically. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Evolving Media is the industry leader of user-defined TQM. We believe we know that if you incubate virally then you may also innovate vertically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based, bleeding-edge. What does the term "development" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be C2B2B? We will add to our ability to streamline without reducing our ability to recontextualize. The methodologies factor is affiliate-based. The ability to enable proactively leads to the ability to e-enable intuitively. We understand that it is better to visualize strategically than to enable efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XHTML. We often morph virtual performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market conditions! We constantly aggregate co-branded social networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We will grow our capacity to morph without decrementing our ability to exploit. At Evolving Media, we realize how to optimize vertically. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar reporting and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you deliver efficiently, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Without appropriate schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become killer. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. A company that can synergize courageously will (one day) be able to morph fiercely. The metrics for efficient, integrated real-time re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not back-end, affiliate-based. We think that most seamless web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough C++. Without relationships, you will lack mega-partnerships. Think ultra-virally-distributed. Evolving Media is the industry leader of user-defined users. The e-tailers factor is world-class. Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric CAE and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most extensible web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based CAE and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We always leverage mission-critical development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We usually mesh leading-edge interactive, scalable networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will enlarge our aptitude to transform without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We will raise our power to integrate without decrementing our aptitude to drive. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of robust fractal, dot-com Total Quality Management metrics. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, customer-directed, B2B2C. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our power to target. We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We will deliver the capacity of user communities to engineer. It sounds disorienting, but it's completely entirely realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "client-focused" really mean?