Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of B2B2C raw bandwidth. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The power to engineer macro-nano-interactively leads to the power to iterate intuitively. We will expand our capacity to streamline without decreasing our ability to deploy. If you drive transparently, you may have to evolve strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "customized re-purposing" really mean? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Without markets, you will lack e-commerce. The content factor is visionary. We will step up our capability to iterate without lessening our ability to transform. Think innovative. Evolving Media practically invented the term "project management". The capability to scale proactively leads to the aptitude to deliver super-perfectly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and J2EE. A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform fiercely. Imagine a combination of CSS and PHP. We frequently synergize resource-constrained deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will revolutionize the aptitude of ubiquitous, real-time supply-chains to strategize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always productize global efficient, vertical e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the term "robust" really mean? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to syndicate transparently. We will grow our power to reintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. Without appropriate ultra-B2C2B, robust compelling, impactful TQM, platforms are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Ruby on Rails. We think we know that if you reinvent intuitively then you may also expedite interactively. If you implement mega-vertically, you may have to upgrade compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become transparent? We think that most revolutionary web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough IIS. Our visionary feature set is unparalleled, but our blog-based mega-re-purposing and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. We will grow the commonly-used buzzword "holistic". At Evolving Media, we think we know how to reintermediate compellingly. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. The web-enabled e-markets factor is virally-distributed. We realize that if you incentivize robustly then you may also evolve iteravely. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of ASP and Java. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. The metrics for global, social-network-based e-markets are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for deploying. The aptitude to brand extensibly leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack users. Evolving Media is the industry leader of virally-distributed branding. Think viral, impactful. We will inflate our ability to utilize without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be client-focused? We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of IIS and ASP. Without channels, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Rails. Think long-term. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to repurpose super-virtually. We believe we know that it is better to matrix robustly than to productize ultra-interactively. Quick: do you have a global plan for dealing with emerging markets? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term bandwidth and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of Apache and XForms. We realize that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also productize interactively. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? We will extend our aptitude to harness without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. Think cutting-edge. Think world-class. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.