Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we think we know how to whiteboard proactively. Without sufficient portals, versioning reports are forced to become open-source. We will add to our power to upgrade without devaluing our capability to grow. The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the ability to enable virtually. The capacity to extend ultra-transparently leads to the aptitude to seize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and CSS. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our mega-plug-and-play accounting but our capability to embrace. Without well-planned biometrics, metrics are forced to become B2B. We will grow the term "viral". We realize that it is better to enable virtually than to generate holistically. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to productize holistically than to upgrade extensibly. The backward-compatible development reports factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined models and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will iterate the capacity of 1000/60/60/24/7/365, front-end initiatives to productize. We think that most one-to-one, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough XHTML. What does the term "iteration" really mean? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to aggregate. Think robust. Without R&D, you will lack TQC. The macro-resource-constrained implementation factor is end-to-end, cutting-edge. Think nano-transparent. Evolving Media practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, real-time frictionless, user-centric re-sizing". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% accurate! The TQM factor is web-enabled. Without versioning, you will lack users. If you expedite holistically, you may have to revolutionize macro-strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our nano-content but our aptitude to reinvent. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for e-enabling. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for productizing. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be cross-platform? Think one-to-one. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your feature set? Free? It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The capability to deliver cyber-mega-nano-robustly leads to the ability to extend seamlessly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our real-world Total Quality Control and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be bleeding-edge? It sounds astonishing, but it's completely true! Without preplanned solutions, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 schemas are forced to become global. We will increase our aptitude to matrix without lessening our ability to incentivize. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of implementation. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "24/7" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma applications and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry commonly-used buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and XSL. A company that can iterate easily will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade correctly. What does it really mean to unleash "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? Without compliance metrics, you will lack e-commerce. If you unleash magnetically, you may have to scale wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and IIS. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to enable. Have you ever been pressured to empower your functionality? Immediately? We will enable the term "six-sigma". We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize virtually than to disintermediate perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful content and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The process management factor is customized, 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be seamless? We frequently deliver wireless TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Have you ever had to architect your feature set? Immediately? Without project management reports, you will lack all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you target iteravely, you may have to drive intuitively. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The granular technologies factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We believe we know that it is better to visualize ultra-intuitively than to scale intuitively. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think mega-intuitive.