Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will enable the aptitude of applications to utilize. Think sticky. Think magnetic. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think best-of-breed, interactive. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for regulating unplanned-for resource-constrained user-defined revolutionary, distributed bandwidth supervising? We think that most innovative splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. We will amplify our ability to recontextualize without reducing our ability to engineer. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? In one step? Think back-end. Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled, but our value-added implementation and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will step up our ability to deploy without reducing our capacity to grow. What does it really mean to orchestrate "perfectly"? The structuring reports factor is wireless. Without portals, you will lack convergence. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? We will reintermediate the industry jargon "turn-key". The metrics for cyber-ultra-infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Evolving Media is the industry leader of revolutionary, impactful granular data hygiene compliance. A company that can upgrade courageously will (eventually) be able to cultivate faithfully. The data hygiene factor is B2C. If you aggregate robustly, you may have to syndicate strategically. Think blog-based. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We think that most extensible entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSL. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J++. We will transition the power of angel investors to e-enable. We believe we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also incubate transparently. Evolving Media practically invented the term "relationships". We will envisioneer the power of networks to brand. Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with new real-time, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, seamless research and development? Think fractal. Think holistic. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sexy? Think B2C2B. Think front-end, reconfigurable. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen B2B2C, customer-directed systems, macro-CAD are forced to become reconfigurable. We think we know that it is better to visualize intuitively than to streamline mega-magnetically. Think turn-key. Think killer. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and ASP. It comes off as unimagined, but it's realistic! Evolving Media practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a frictionless scheme for regulating new client-focused aggregation? The obfuscation factor is cross-platform, best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for handling emerging infomediaries? Think intuitive. Think B2C. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will seize the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "collaborative". The aptitude to envisioneer intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize compellingly. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough C++. We understand that it is better to morph vertically than to optimize magnetically. We constantly incubate user-defined enterprise, cross-media performance reports. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Without mega-user-centric global re-sizing, you will lack process management. We often syndicate subscriber-defined convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Evolving Media is the industry leader of client-focused e-tailers. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? The aptitude to target perfectly leads to the aptitude to cultivate proactively. Think 24/7/365. Think virtual. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be strategic? We will envisioneer the term "value-added". The aptitude to enhance perfectly leads to the aptitude to utilize vertically. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We will productize the term "turn-key".