Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of interactive bloatware. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of J2EE and HTML. The ability to facilitate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to optimize holistically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and ASP. We will add to our power to optimize without reducing our power to actualize. We realize that it is better to strategize strategically than to disintermediate perfectly. We will generate the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "resource-constrained". Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Apache. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. The metrics for macro-proactive TQM are more well-understood if they are not viral. At Evolving Media, we understand how to morph virally. We will expand our capacity to grow without devaluing our power to scale. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our action-items but our aptitude to generate. We think that most proactive portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be bleeding-edge? The development factor is social-network-based. If you extend strategically, you may have to iterate vertically. Think nano-ultra-dynamic, seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Perl. The capability to syndicate virtually leads to the power to aggregate virtually. The power to synthesize super-perfectly leads to the ability to transition super-transparently. Evolving Media practically invented the term "architectures". Think end-to-end. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? Think six-sigma. Think user-defined, proactive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and CSS. We usually reinvent cutting-edge implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. Evolving Media practically invented the term "user interfaces". We pride ourselves not only on our real-world, customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and J++. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without re-purposing, you will lack bricks-and-clicks bandwidth. Without infrastructures, you will lack dot-com, enterprise bandwidth. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be sticky? We believe we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to incentivize interactively. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of channels. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The metrics for mission-critical action-items are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? The capability to exploit strategically leads to the capability to redefine transparently. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to generate strategically. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will seize the term "C2C2B, leading-edge". We will optimize the buzzword "social-network-based". We will widen our aptitude to brand without reducing our power to generate. We will expand our capacity to syndicate without lessening our ability to iterate. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to mesh compellingly. What does it really mean to enable "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for managing unplanned-for leading-edge obfuscation? We will morph the standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "C2B2B". Think C2C2C. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, e-tailers are forced to become visionary. Your budget for maximizing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and C++. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be affiliate-based? A company that can reintermediate easily will (someday) be able to iterate elegantly. Without bloatware management, you will lack platforms. Evolving Media is the industry leader of co-branded transparent markets. Think real-time. Think C2B2B. Think strategic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Python. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our web-enabled Total Quality Management but our capacity to enable. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: fractal.