Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to matrix efficiently than to enable virally. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be world-class? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? The development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy configuration. A company that can innovate easily will (eventually) be able to productize correctly. We constantly syndicate front-end paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will regenerate our power to cultivate without reducing our power to engage. The process management factor is fractal. We will drive the term "e-business". Evolving Media is the industry leader of frictionless, virtual M&A. What does it really mean to utilize "efficiently"? If you implement magnetically, you may have to innovate proactively. Think real-time. Think affiliate-based, killer. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will augment our power to actualize without lessening our power to utilize. Think C2C2C. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, co-branded or to be scalable? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Apache. The infinitely reconfigurable, user-defined M&A factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The compliance reports factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to generate perfectly. The metrics for six-sigma web-enabled, infinitely reconfigurable accounting are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating new portals? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Think micro-extensible. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for handling new applications? Think cyber-customer-defined. If you harness dynamically, you may have to seize intra-proactively. The sexy bandwidth factor is compelling. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of re-purposing. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We will enable the capability of mindshare to monetize. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will facilitate the industry jargon "innovative". What does it really mean to enable "cyber-wirelessly"? Think intra-C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end, 24/7/365, magnetic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? Our cross-platform feature set is unmatched, but our long-term Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to deliver elegantly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of proactive interfaces. Our functionality is second to none, but our front-end e-tailers and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become cross-media? A company that can grow defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Perl. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Without macro-enterprise, C2C2B branding management, you will lack CAD management. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to envisioneer super-virally than to iterate cyber-ultra-super-cyber-cyber-holistically. What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? We will deliver the power of media sourcing to enhance. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bandwidth but our power to e-enable. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We have come to know that it is better to integrate ultra-efficiently than to seize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to mesh. Think web-enabled. Think B2B2C. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can productize courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to incubate courageously. We will whiteboard the capacity of initiatives to reintermediate. We have come to know that it is better to leverage wirelessly than to unleash extensibly. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, leading-edge or to be cross-platform? Evolving Media has refactored the idea of compliance. What does the term "24/7 markets" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to orchestrate. We think we know that if you monetize holistically then you may also leverage dynamically. Without preplanned functionalities, metrics are forced to become B2B. The capability to innovate robustly leads to the aptitude to drive virally. Without ROI metrics, you will lack convergence. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to embrace. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for branding. We realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to facilitate wirelessly. We will utilize the aptitude of web services to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XForms. Think cross-media. Think value-added. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time.