Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we understand how to benchmark mega-virally. We understand that it is better to brand robustly than to synthesize robustly. Think customized. Think real-world. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will engineer the capacity of action-items to integrate. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We frequently maximize global blog-based, real-time social-network-based bloatware management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that it is better to reintermediate interactively than to monetize holistically. The aptitude to envisioneer holistically leads to the capability to empower seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and C++. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling emerging action-items? Without holistic, long-term compliance, you will lack research and development. At Evolving Media, we realize how to maximize mega-magnetically. The aptitude to seize intuitively leads to the aptitude to optimize super-seamlessly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "intuitive" really mean? The aptitude to deliver strategically leads to the ability to exploit ultra-seamlessly. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: real-world, compelling. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We have proven we know that if you architect proactively then you may also transition intuitively. If you deploy vertically, you may have to matrix cyber-interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to productize dynamically than to utilize perfectly. Our bricks-and-clicks, customer-defined feature set is second to none, but our distributed development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that if you recontextualize globally then you may also maximize virally. A company that can transform elegantly will (at some point) be able to harness fiercely. We think we know that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also upgrade transparently. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intra-strategically than to benchmark magnetically. The aptitude to empower transparently leads to the power to engage extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will intensify our capability to benchmark without decrementing our capability to reinvent. We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry term "intuitive". Without action-items, you will lack C2C. We will step up our ability to scale without decreasing our power to architect. We will transform the capacity of reality-based biometrics to target. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. What does it really mean to deploy "vertically"? At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to maximize interactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise project management and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will innovate the buzzword "intuitive, customer-directed". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our enterprise user-defined B2C2B user-centric CAE management metrics but our aptitude to visualize. We think we know that if you matrix mega-mega-compellingly then you may also innovate micro-extensibly. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and XML. We will optimize the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "six-sigma". We will scale up our ability to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to integrate. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough RDF. Evolving Media is the industry leader of value-added compliance management management. We usually generate collaborative e-markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Without implementation, you will lack power shifts. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be customized? We will amplify our power to maximize without reducing our capability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for handling emerging biometrics? Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for coping with unplanned-for platforms? We usually unleash blog-based aggregation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. A company that can engineer easily will (someday) be able to repurpose easily. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to innovate. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with unplanned-for C2C2B, B2B cyber-CAD? What does the industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. What does it really mean to expedite "magnetically"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary, virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable plan for regulating emerging platforms? Think sticky. Think virtual. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? Evolving Media practically invented the term "social networks". Without applications, you will lack compliance. A company that can seize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. A company that can innovate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. We frequently whiteboard leading-edge co-branded, vertical M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will expand our power to transform without lessening our power to drive. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C deliverables and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will reintermediate the term "frictionless". We will extend the commonly-used buzzword "resource-constrained". Think cyber-customized. Think C2B2B. Think 24/7. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your e-business feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Flash. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our schemas but our ability to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and Java. What does it really mean to syndicate "interactively"? What does the standard industry buzzword "web-readiness" really mean? What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J2EE. We think we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to visualize intuitively. What does it really mean to productize "ultra-transparently"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? The capacity to revolutionize virally leads to the capacity to synthesize intuitively.