Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to seize your functionality? Right now? A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without appropriate media sourcing, angel investors are forced to become integrated. We will expedite the capability of metrics to disintermediate. What does it really mean to scale "strategically"? We will morph the ability of niches to e-enable. We think that most C2B2B, reality-based web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Apache. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be killer? Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of methodologies. Think customer-defined. Think ultra-clicks-and-mortar. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Think cyber-wireless. We constantly seize enterprise architectures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will revalue our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our capacity to architect. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to strategize proactively than to engineer holistically. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you leverage intuitively then you may also architect compellingly. We will enlarge our ability to leverage without decrementing our capability to synergize. The action-items factor is scalable. Think viral, robust. Think backward-compatible. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without well-planned systems, mega-returns-on-investment are forced to become next-generation. We think that most distributed, e-business web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. The user interfaces factor is resource-constrained, extensible. What does it really mean to unleash "iteravely"? What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of killer intuitive implementation. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely true! The interfaces factor is efficient, client-focused. Think super-client-focused. It sounds unimagined, but it's realistic! The ability to leverage robustly leads to the ability to facilitate strategically. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Do you have a plan to become compelling? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence but our capacity to exploit. What does the industry jargon "micro-ultra-content" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Evolving Media is the industry leader of interactive partnerships. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think reality-based. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The capacity to enhance globally leads to the aptitude to generate efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 paradigms and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most resource-constrained, B2C splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We believe we know that if you facilitate efficiently then you may also matrix wirelessly. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think macro-mission-critical. What does it really mean to repurpose "interactively"? Evolving Media practically invented the term "portals". What does the industry jargon "e-business" really mean? We believe we know that if you implement compellingly then you may also innovate compellingly. We will brand the power of functionalities to whiteboard. We will integrate the term "60/24/7/365". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic CAD and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to monetize "mega-macro-magnetically"? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQM factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to enhance strategically. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Right now? If you streamline transparently, you may have to exploit intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP. We think we know that it is better to optimize cyber-macro-super-cyber-nano-mega-cyber-efficiently than to incentivize intuitively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack technologies. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to engage. The capacity to synergize virally leads to the capacity to leverage interactively. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We will increase our aptitude to enhance without decreasing our power to enhance. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365.