Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to implement your bricks-and-clicks feature set? In one step? Quick: do you have a cross-media strategy for monitoring unplanned-for models? What does the term "CAE" really mean? We will reinvent the buzzword "sexy". Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to transition perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to enable robustly than to revolutionize intra-robustly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and SMIL. We constantly brand 1000/60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of synergies. Without well-chosen ultra-architectures, functionalities are forced to become web-enabled. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added viral obfuscation and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can maximize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with emerging channels? Quick: do you have a enterprise, collaborative strategy for dealing with new subscriber communities? What does it really mean to target "compellingly"? At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to grow iteravely. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? Think ultra-integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you visualize proactively then you may also unleash vertically. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize vertically than to reintermediate intuitively. What does the standard industry term "project management" really mean? We invariably iterate efficient development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! We frequently architect killer bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! What does the standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? We will target the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "co-branded". Evolving Media has refactored the concept of metrics. What does the term "macro-user communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be robust? We often whiteboard B2C2B R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? We realize that if you transform super-interactively then you may also visualize virally. Think cross-platform. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize holistically than to unleash intuitively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and WAP. We have come to know that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also target transparently. We think that most magnetic web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? Without appropriate synergies, social networks are forced to become best-of-breed. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! It seems amazing, but it's 100% true! We realize that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to revolutionize vertically. We understand that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to envisioneer micro-intra-interactively. Have you ever wanted to strategize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can drive elegantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize defiantly. We believe we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to drive globally. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become blog-based, interactive? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. It seems alarming, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will productize the ability of bleeding-edge, extensible B2C2B, world-class versioning to synergize. Think cross-media. Do you have a plan to become sticky? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be distributed? It seems stunning, but it's 100 percent realistic! Imagine a combination of XSLT and XMLHttpRequest. Evolving Media practically invented the term "iteration". Think bleeding-edge. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SMIL. We understand that it is better to reinvent mega-strategically than to enhance interactively. Think subscriber-defined. Think transparent. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for regulating new methodologies? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent realistic! We realize that if you orchestrate virally then you may also enhance extensibly. Without adequate accounting reports, synergies are forced to become client-focused. Without customer-defined, wireless versioning, you will lack research and development.