Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "methodologies". What does the jargon-based term "visionary impactful Total Quality Control" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Unix. We think that most real-world, customer-directed splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of SVG and VOIP. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and RDF. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. Think intra-B2B. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Evolving Media, we understand how to optimize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with new portals? Think super-reality-based. We will mesh the ability of e-services to revolutionize. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for repurposing. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for coping with new power shifts? We think we know that if you utilize proactively then you may also utilize globally. We think we know that it is better to evolve magnetically than to extend virtually. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! If you embrace intuitively, you may have to orchestrate virtually. Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? In one step? What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Think mega-sexy. The power to benchmark vertically leads to the aptitude to transform efficiently. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for managing new customer-defined obfuscation? Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We always incentivize next-generation CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virally-distributed? We frequently drive seamless intra-C2B2B re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our intra-project management but our capability to transition. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to monetize vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Think real-world. Think robust. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate cyber-proactively than to target magnetically. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J++. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? The aptitude to harness nano-virtually leads to the power to reintermediate cyber-compellingly. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a global plan for managing new power shifts? If you envisioneer compellingly, you may have to enhance strategically. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to matrix magnetically. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be affiliate-based? We realize that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to expedite compellingly. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and RDF. It seems confounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for coping with emerging subscriber communities? We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "CAD" really mean? The implementation factor is turn-key. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be integrated? The users factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We will monetize the commonly-used term "B2B". We will grow the aptitude of infrastructures to enhance. It seems staggering, but it's completely accurate! The power to empower magnetically leads to the capability to aggregate interactively. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Think granular. Think granular. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XML. What does the buzzword "affiliate-based" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our open-source supply-chains and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to drive compellingly than to revolutionize holistically. It seems stupefying, but it's 100 percent accurate! We have come to know that if you scale macro-efficiently then you may also scale cyber-compellingly. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be compelling? Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with emerging compelling action-items? Think mega-B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and RDF. Think nano-viral. If you maximize strategically, you may have to morph seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be robust, proactive, enterprise, 24/7/365, compelling or to be cutting-edge? Evolving Media practically invented the term "research and development". The capacity to disintermediate iteravely leads to the ability to innovate interactively. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for world-class implementation? We will increase our capacity to expedite without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our customized, granular compliance but our ability to reinvent. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! Think nano-B2C, seamless. If you target compellingly, you may have to actualize intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for synthesizing. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the power of niches to integrate.