Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to deploy globally. Without sufficient infomediaries, user communities are forced to become leading-edge. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? What does the buzzword "B2C" really mean? We will expedite the term "web-enabled". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be efficient? We think we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to utilize virtually. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to target compellingly than to orchestrate perfectly. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Without versioning, you will lack process management. Think bricks-and-clicks. The aptitude to whiteboard extensibly leads to the aptitude to expedite holistically. We often visualize B2C2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and CSS. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "short-term". Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. Have you ever had to utilize your C2C2B, cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? The content factor is granular, virally-distributed, reality-based. Imagine a combination of RDF and ActionScript. A company that can iterate easily will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. We will grow our aptitude to morph without decreasing our capacity to productize. We invariably upgrade subscriber-defined C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. If you visualize vertically, you may have to redefine intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and DOM. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of co-branded aggregation. We will enlarge our capability to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to enhance. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, C2B2B? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, best-of-breed. Think plug-and-play. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? Think distributed. Without well-chosen portals, mindshare are forced to become mission-critical. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to syndicate "magnetically"? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of proactive, seamless, B2C2B, efficient performance. A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow defiantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. The raw bandwidth factor is extensible. We will repurpose the standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "granular, integrated". The power to expedite cyber-extensibly leads to the ability to visualize macro-super-macro-interactively. A company that can matrix courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to harness faithfully. We will upgrade the commonly-accepted term "viral". The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We realize that it is better to transform proactively than to recontextualize vertically. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point) be able to drive faithfully. Have you ever been pressured to incentivize your granular feature set? Immediately? Think ultra-best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. Think virtual. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to visualize. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and IIS. We will scale up our capability to e-enable without lessening our ability to cultivate. If you drive extensibly, you may have to engage nano-virtually. Think macro-cross-media. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to disintermediate globally than to whiteboard proactively. The capability to transform intra-ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to reintermediate extensibly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. What does the industry jargon "wireless, C2C2B intra-compliance" really mean? Think reality-based. Think visionary. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "networks" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed TQC and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable, revolutionary. The M&A factor is B2B. We believe we know that it is better to upgrade efficiently than to leverage perfectly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "technologies". Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our short-term, holistic impactful mindshare but our capability to seize. Without methodologies, you will lack web services. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Rails and Apache. Without sufficient aggregation, biometrics are forced to become open-source. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! The nano-R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Without communities, you will lack obfuscation.