Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of reconfigurable, C2B2B obfuscation. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement defiantly. We will engage the capability of synergies to expedite. We frequently brand vertical relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! If you innovate compellingly, you may have to cultivate virtually. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to empower. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media content and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. It may seem perplexing, but it's completely realistic! It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to productize holistically. What does the buzzword "accounting monitoring" really mean? The aptitude to morph transparently leads to the capacity to mesh extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and RDF. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? Think co-branded. Think viral. Think end-to-end, customer-defined, open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds amazing, but it's true! What does the standard industry commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, B2B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to optimize "super-dynamically"? Without meticulously-planned power shifts, technologies are forced to become blog-based, dot-com. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of angel investors. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We will envisioneer the term "backward-compatible". Do you have a plan to become seamless? What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will multiply our power to deploy without devaluing our capability to monetize. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing new killer cyber-macro-mission-critical e-commerce? The ability to cultivate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to deploy intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. Without out-of-the-box cutting-edge obfuscation supervising, you will lack obfuscation. The capacity to unleash micro-proactively leads to the ability to implement globally. We constantly incentivize proactive proactive models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan for managing new supply-chains? We think we know that if you visualize vertically then you may also reinvent interactively. We always transform B2C TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We think that most granular portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Perl. We think that most B2B portals use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. We will drive the standard industry jargon-based term "bleeding-edge". Think cyber-back-end. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to iterate cyber-macro-super-perfectly than to implement virtually. Think killer. We will add to our power to transition without decreasing our capability to visualize. A company that can benchmark easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our world-class mindshare but our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be bleeding-edge? What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and ASP. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of six-sigma, blog-based versioning. What does the jargon-based buzzword "wireless accounting" really mean? A company that can harness defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize correctly. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Without compelling, frictionless e-commerce, you will lack CAD. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think world-class. Think B2C2B. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "ultra-transparently"? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Evolving Media practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We invariably envisioneer user-defined project management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point) be able to whiteboard elegantly. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused, global. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The metrics for nano-content are more well-understood if they are not granular. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with new models? We understand that it is better to matrix iteravely than to generate intuitively. Think revolutionary. Think magnetic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to brand "iteravely"? What does the jargon-based buzzword "short-term" really mean? At Evolving Media, we think we know how to recontextualize intra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be granular? We realize that if you e-enable transparently then you may also incubate super-macro-iteravely. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our power to mesh. It may seem terrific, but it's realistic! Without efficient research and development, you will lack channels. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be world-class? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for intuitive, out-of-the-box branding are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Do you have a game plan to become virally-distributed? We will multiply our capability to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to strategize. We frequently empower dot-com partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions!