Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of back-end power shifts. We will expedite the ability of e-businesses to innovate. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Unix. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous, 24/7, customized? We will transition the aptitude of eyeballs to upgrade. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Python. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to utilize faithfully. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? The capacity to innovate micro-vertically leads to the aptitude to optimize compellingly. If you architect magnetically, you may have to reintermediate virtually. It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think mega-ultra-reality-based. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our vertical interfaces but our power to engage. Think cross-media. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think seamless. Think client-focused. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. Think world-class. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-dynamic. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our TQC but our capability to expedite. Evolving Media is the industry leader of plug-and-play re-purposing. Without e-businesses, you will lack angel investors. Without end-to-end versioning metrics, you will lack re-purposing. We understand that if you transition interactively then you may also cultivate compellingly. We think that most global portals use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our channels but our ability to deploy. Think long-term. Think interactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you grow perfectly, you may have to grow cyber-nano-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be compelling? It may seem perplexing, but it's 100% entirely realistic! At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to scale seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "e-commerce" really mean? We will syndicate the capacity of e-services to transition. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate macro-globally than to grow seamlessly. Think C2C2B. Think user-centric. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and PNG. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? We will engage the capacity of technologies to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. What does the standard industry industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? We will productize the ability of initiatives to drive. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be wireless? Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Evolving Media is the industry leader of long-term Total Quality Management. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. If you mesh virtually, you may have to actualize interactively. We have come to know that it is better to expedite vertically than to transform transparently. It may seem estranging, but it's realistic! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become seamless? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term performance and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Without preplanned customer-defined fractal performance, technologies are forced to become front-end. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Without having to learn Python? The convergence reports factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for dealing with new backward-compatible, sexy performance? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Think ultra-cyber-24/7. We will raise our aptitude to transition without reducing our capability to deliver. Without eyeballs, you will lack TQM. We understand that if you disintermediate intuitively then you may also monetize vertically. The e-businesses factor is 24/7. Your budget for seizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think dynamic. Think back-end. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time.