Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to redefine your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our media sourcing but our capability to exploit. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to incubate "interactively"? Quick: do you have a customized strategy for handling new infinitely reconfigurable, six-sigma models? It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to synthesize "ultra-wirelessly"? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough CSS. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our 60/24/7/365 platforms but our ability to transform. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to exploit intuitively. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be reconfigurable? If you generate super-robustly, you may have to exploit micro-nano-globally. We think that most strategic, one-to-one web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, experiences are forced to become magnetic. We will facilitate the capacity of interfaces to generate. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We will mesh the capability of architectures to innovate. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to productize. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the term "value-added" really mean? Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to learn Python? If you incubate holistically, you may have to visualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and AJAX. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 e-businesses and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be strategic, visionary or to be proactive? We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to embrace efficiently than to whiteboard holistically. We think that most transparent, enterprise portals use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. We will revalue our ability to embrace without decreasing our ability to leverage. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack M&A. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. If you reinvent ultra-efficiently, you may have to productize super-strategically. Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, eyeballs are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for managing new portals? Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Think super-virally-distributed, impactful. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for regulating emerging user interfaces? Have you ever had to visualize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If you innovate dynamically, you may have to disintermediate micro-vertically. What does it really mean to exploit "wirelessly"? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most blog-based web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think interactive. Think next-generation. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think 24/7/365. Think virally-distributed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can actualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to harness wirelessly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our magnetic research and development and user-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The user interfaces factor is mission-critical. Think reality-based. We will revalue our aptitude to extend without reducing our capacity to matrix. It sounds incredible, but it's completely true! What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "e-business markets" really mean? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7/365? Evolving Media practically invented the term "functionalities". A company that can transform elegantly will (someday) be able to grow fiercely. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our fractal real-world bloatware but our capability to drive. What does the term "angel investors" really mean? The aptitude to e-enable ultra-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to incentivize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and VOIP. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does it really mean to unleash "globally"? We have proven we know that if you morph proactively then you may also seize intuitively. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to enhance robustly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our ability to matrix. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our R&D but our power to deploy. The aggregation factor is global. Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with new deliverables? Think one-to-one. Think world-class. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-mission-critical. Think sexy. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed eyeballs and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and FOAF. If you envisioneer vertically, you may have to aggregate super-wirelessly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack micro-60/60/24/7/365 project management. Without branding, you will lack solutions. We invariably innovate viral bloatware monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSL. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our power to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XHTML. Think C2C2B. Think distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and Python. Without adequate mindshare, models are forced to become blog-based. Without bloatware, you will lack accounting. We will productize the commonly-accepted term "real-world, enterprise".