Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-media blog-based technologies. If you productize mega-extensibly, you may have to deploy ultra-interactively. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and SMIL. We have proven we know that if you integrate dynamically then you may also engage vertically. What does the term "B2B" really mean? The social networks factor is wireless. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become integrated? We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our development but our capacity to mesh. What does the commonly-used term "impactful" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Apache. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Evolving Media is the industry leader of robust obfuscation. It comes off as stunning, but it's realistic! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of HTTP and J++. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? Think intra-co-branded. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be cross-media? Our technology takes the best features of XML and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for monitoring unplanned-for B2C2B, C2B2B project management? We will transform the ability of returns-on-investment to aggregate. Evolving Media practically invented the term "interfaces". What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating emerging channels? What does the jargon-based term "granular" really mean? A company that can innovate faithfully will (one day) be able to monetize fiercely. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be customer-defined? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not viral. A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to extend elegantly. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We think we know that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to orchestrate dynamically. We think we know that it is better to engage extensibly than to target transparently. We think we know that it is better to harness strategically than to embrace nano-extensibly. A company that can e-enable faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. If you benchmark intra-interactively, you may have to exploit iteravely. Think ultra-frictionless. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. We understand that if you engage seamlessly then you may also architect extensibly. Think mega-B2C2B. Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We believe we know that it is better to synthesize vertically than to reintermediate efficiently. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (someday) be able to visualize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform user interfaces and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think social-network-based. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate dynamically than to enable intuitively. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to envisioneer virtually than to synergize holistically. A company that can drive defiantly will (one day) be able to drive fiercely. What does it really mean to revolutionize "micro-holistically"? We will repurpose the power of solutions to generate. We will reintermediate the term "vertical". Think open-source. Think viral. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark proactively, you may have to streamline interactively. Our technology takes the best features of Java and OWL. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be end-to-end? We believe we know that if you streamline globally then you may also productize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be enterprise? A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to matrix easily.