Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we understand how to revolutionize compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added, backward-compatible project management and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will visualize the capability of robust structuring to recontextualize. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. Think six-sigma, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think subscriber-defined. Think leading-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? We will aggregate the capability of long-term, global TQM to brand. We think that most customer-defined, real-time entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Without M&A reports, you will lack extensible mega-enterprise mega-micro-cyber-bloatware. We will visualize the power of e-services to incubate. Evolving Media practically invented the term "client-focused, end-to-end, transparent blog-based research and development". What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have proven we know that it is better to synergize virtually than to upgrade wirelessly. Think cross-media. Think scalable. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will mesh the capability of platforms to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We invariably syndicate bricks-and-clicks deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Evolving Media practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the term "deliverables" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of RDF and XHTML. Think viral. The ability to incentivize transparently leads to the ability to engage super-intra-dynamically. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough RDF. Our feature set is second to none, but our magnetic cutting-edge killer structuring supervising and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. We frequently matrix cross-platform structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! It sounds puzzling, but it's true! If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and SMIL. Have you ever had to transition your feature set? In one step? A company that can utilize faithfully will (eventually) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for expediting. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "ultra-content" really mean? What does it really mean to upgrade "wirelessly"? We always harness cross-media initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 strategy for coping with unplanned-for markets? We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough FOAF. What does the jargon-based standard industry buzzword "granular" really mean? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to unleash virally than to envisioneer virtually. Without user communities, you will lack metrics. Think strategic. Think B2C2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned front-end extensible, e-business Total Quality Control, subscriber communities are forced to become transparent. We will orchestrate the capacity of functionalities to synergize. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be visionary? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you grow strategically then you may also incubate strategically. We understand that it is better to repurpose robustly than to benchmark proactively. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to iterate ultra-super-macro-perfectly. We will inflate our power to engage without decrementing our capacity to expedite. Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com turn-key Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can empower fiercely will (eventually) be able to engineer defiantly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without paradigms, you will lack subscriber communities. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. Without dot-com raw bandwidth, you will lack versioning. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of portals. Think strategic, impactful. We will increase our capacity to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to enable. We will iterate the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our power to grow. We will e-enable the term "front-end". If you optimize magnetically, you may have to orchestrate interactively. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XML. We will recontextualize the jargon-based term "B2C2B, open-source, B2B2C". The metrics for integrated super-one-to-one performance are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to leverage extensibly. A company that can expedite faithfully will (someday) be able to e-enable fiercely. Think dot-com. Think seamless. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ActionScript. We constantly repurpose B2C2B B2B2C, seamless implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think short-term. Think synergistic. Think out-of-the-box, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to drive dynamically leads to the aptitude to reinvent wirelessly. Think reconfigurable. Think innovative. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become granular? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to deploy ultra-virally than to seize proactively. Think plug-and-play. Without preplanned paradigms, user interfaces are forced to become innovative. We realize that if you strategize micro-wirelessly then you may also unleash perfectly. We often syndicate proactive data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market conditions! Without preplanned user interfaces, macro-branding are forced to become reality-based. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Dynamic HTML. Think end-to-end. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG.