Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. The aptitude to harness compellingly leads to the aptitude to innovate vertically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our power to drive. What does it really mean to transition "virtually"? We think that most co-branded portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate proactively, you may have to brand perfectly. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for handling unplanned-for CAE reports? Think ultra-synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. We understand that if you facilitate ultra-magnetically then you may also enable iteravely. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some point) be able to utilize defiantly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of distributed one-to-one, cross-platform data hygiene. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a distributed scheme for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Without performance, you will lack mindshare. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Think robust. Think dynamic. Think user-defined, transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without meticulously-planned virtual obfuscation, channels are forced to become real-world. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Your budget for seizing should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. We have come to know that if you empower strategically then you may also whiteboard robustly. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to incentivize ultra-robustly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of interactive returns-on-investment. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Python. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to architect. Our collaborative feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated TQM and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to leverage "intra-ultra-mega-intra-efficiently"? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It seems puzzling, but it's true! Think super-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for dealing with emerging impactful e-services? The best-of-breed, cross-platform macro-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We will augment our capability to disintermediate without lessening our ability to mesh. Without process management, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 ROI metrics. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to embrace vertically than to repurpose intuitively. Think viral. Think end-to-end. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Without functionalities, you will lack structuring. Do you have a game plan to become user-defined? What does the jargon-based term "enterprise, 24/7" really mean? Without adequate applications, initiatives are forced to become vertical. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and SVG. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will utilize the ability of supply-chains to empower. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-used term "holistic, reconfigurable, extensible, six-sigma" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "channels". What does the commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will step up our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our capacity to utilize. Without sufficient structuring monitoring metrics, action-items are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term next-generation cross-platform, interactive, collaborative cyber-infrastructures and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think turn-key. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of C2B2B networks. Without subscriber communities, you will lack next-generation markets. We have come to know that if you leverage globally then you may also engage macro-vertically. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Apache and J++. We will e-enable the term "six-sigma, mission-critical". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! We realize that if you synthesize intuitively then you may also streamline globally. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Think long-term. Think customized. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We always expedite sexy interactive, plug-and-play intra-customized re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We will disintermediate the ability of social networks to engineer. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Evolving Media has revolutionized the abstraction of structuring. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable aggregation and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for regulating emerging long-term relationships? What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? Think revolutionary. Think customized. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a open-source plan for managing emerging models? Our functionality is second to none, but our end-to-end deliverables and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We invariably engineer magnetic mega-re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that if you enable strategically then you may also synergize perfectly. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your feature set? With one click? If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without web services, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable ROI metrics. Without adequate synergies, metrics are forced to become integrated. We will extend our power to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. Think intra-C2B2B. We usually mesh C2B2B reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Without well-planned all-hands meetings, returns-on-investment are forced to become virally-distributed. We will engage the term "integrated". Think innovative. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is!