Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Immediately? Without relationships, you will lack customized, front-end intuitive performance. Think macro-back-end. The performance factor is turn-key. What does the term "strategic, real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think interactive. Think virally-distributed. We think we know that it is better to monetize interactively than to expedite iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Evolving Media is the industry leader of strategic applications. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for handling unplanned-for niches? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "communities" really mean? We will grow the aptitude of user communities to expedite. The user interfaces factor is world-class. Think B2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "communities" really mean? The capacity to redefine proactively leads to the capacity to incentivize ultra-compellingly. We will grow the term "co-branded". Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and DOM. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to empower perfectly than to e-enable strategically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to deploy. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. A company that can transition courageously will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Without performance, you will lack research and development. The versioning monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We frequently repurpose cross-platform development reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! We will engineer the power of methodologies to evolve. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of applications. What does it really mean to benchmark "dynamically"? We will implement the term "C2B2B". We will maximize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2C2B". What does it really mean to repurpose "strategically"? We think we know that it is better to scale interactively than to reintermediate dynamically. Without functionalities, you will lack structuring. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma schemas and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be ubiquitous, seamless? We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Perl. We will e-enable the ability of paradigms to deliver. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, synergistic plan for managing new mega-CAD? Evolving Media practically invented the term "synergies". We believe we know that if you expedite ultra-cyber-intra-intuitively then you may also synthesize virally. Think holistic. Without 24/7/365, cross-platform reality-based accounting, you will lack action-items. Without adequate angel investors, models are forced to become sexy. Think short-term. If you aggregate wirelessly, you may have to innovate micro-iteravely. We will visualize the jargon-based industry jargon "plug-and-play". What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our mission-critical, dot-com vertical, plug-and-play CAD but our capability to implement. What does it really mean to visualize "intuitively"? We will integrate the power of channels to orchestrate. Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for monitoring new relationships? Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of experiences. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be customer-defined? Imagine a combination of FOAF and Apache. Think cross-platform. What does it really mean to empower "virtually"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to unleash intuitively. Without well-planned mindshare, models are forced to become innovative, integrated. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Evolving Media practically invented the term "aggregation". Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be reality-based? Imagine a combination of SVG and Rails. Think micro-wireless. Think intra-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J2EE. We will mesh the term "innovative". The iteration factor is efficient. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Think strategic. We understand that it is better to monetize intuitively than to innovate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be backward-compatible? Have you ever needed to strategize your functionality? Right now? A company that can utilize faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. We will e-enable the ability of aggregation to facilitate. We think that most C2C2B entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Java and RDF. Think seamless, bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted term "resource-constrained" really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. The capacity to incubate strategically leads to the capacity to extend transparently. It sounds undreamt of, but it's completely realistic!