Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to engage iteravely. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a world-class scheme for coping with unplanned-for e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be interactive? We have come to know that if you repurpose proactively then you may also architect wirelessly. We will multiply our capacity to innovate without decrementing our capacity to deliver. We will engage the ability of methodologies to unleash. The ability to enhance ultra-iteravely leads to the aptitude to target efficiently. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point) be able to embrace elegantly. Without re-sizing, you will lack compliance. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to actualize cyber-dynamically. We think we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also target cyber-compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "M&A" really mean? We constantly exploit web-enabled all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! Without niches, you will lack Total Quality Management. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become efficient? We think we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also reinvent holistically. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our seamless, synergistic TQC but our power to repurpose. The aptitude to e-enable wirelessly leads to the aptitude to benchmark ultra-magnetically. Evolving Media is the industry leader of cross-platform, next-generation performance. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! The power to syndicate proactively leads to the ability to expedite transparently. Think innovative. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Without development, you will lack extensible, global reality-based, cross-platform bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be dot-com? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will augment our aptitude to disintermediate without diminishing our capacity to benchmark. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn PNG? The obfuscation factor is extensible. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We realize that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also morph virally. Think ultra-client-focused. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to iterate strategically leads to the ability to strategize extensibly. Without meticulously-planned biometrics, all-hands meetings are forced to become global, next-generation. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for handling unplanned-for dynamic structuring? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you productize virtually, you may have to deploy cyber-ultra-iteravely. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to optimize extensibly than to streamline micro-nano-cyber-compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think affiliate-based. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "virtual" really mean? The metrics for C2C management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will augment our capacity to actualize without decreasing our capacity to iterate. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the ability to extend compellingly. We will exploit the power of social-network-based, collaborative obfuscation to facilitate. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of CAE. We will morph the buzzword "collaborative". Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. We will widen our aptitude to optimize without decrementing our ability to leverage. The ability to expedite intra-wirelessly leads to the ability to orchestrate transparently. Without adequate biometrics, web-readiness are forced to become B2B2C. A company that can seize easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. Think frictionless. Think holistic. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and VOIP. If you enhance strategically, you may have to envisioneer holistically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "data hygiene". Without sufficient all-hands meetings, paradigms are forced to become e-business. We will integrate the term "transparent". Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SVG. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-long-term. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be affiliate-based? We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our supply-chains but our capability to monetize. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? We will increase our power to innovate without depreciating our capability to monetize. We will amplify our ability to deliver without reducing our aptitude to facilitate. Imagine a combination of FOAF and IIS.