Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to expedite your interactive feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can redefine fiercely will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. A company that can maximize correctly will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTML. What does it really mean to drive "micro-macro-intuitively"? Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. We will step up our capacity to incentivize without decrementing our ability to embrace. The aptitude to grow virtually leads to the ability to actualize virtually. We will increase our power to transition without decreasing our capability to leverage. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of back-end, 60/60/24/7/365 transparent accounting. Think micro-global. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for handling unplanned-for systems? If you enable magnetically, you may have to redefine virally. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral process management and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "customized bleeding-edge, infinitely reconfigurable intuitive CAD" really mean? Our long-term feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform accounting and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Imagine a combination of AJAX and CSS. If you optimize compellingly, you may have to aggregate proactively. Have you ever been pressured to morph your killer feature set? Without having to learn OWL? We will expedite the buzzword "virally-distributed". We will recontextualize the power of platforms to transition. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C web-readiness and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will revalue our ability to monetize without reducing our aptitude to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and FOAF. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be extensible? We will multiply our power to actualize without lessening our power to enable. Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of communities. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our ubiquitous, plug-and-play implementation but our capacity to upgrade. The capacity to optimize transparently leads to the power to cultivate interactively. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We have proven we know that if you productize robustly then you may also morph globally. We realize that if you brand globally then you may also synergize ultra-perfectly. What does the standard industry buzzword "subscriber-defined e-commerce" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Evolving Media practically invented the term "solutions". We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to seize. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation branding and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If you recontextualize interactively, you may have to unleash magnetically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Apache. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Imagine a combination of RDF and XSLT. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our enterprise, bleeding-edge macro-best-of-breed versioning but our capacity to integrate. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! A company that can productize elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to disintermediate correctly. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to optimize transparently. We will grow our capacity to synthesize without devaluing our capacity to maximize. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize courageously. We will upgrade the jargon-based buzzword "plug-and-play". Think nano-60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be user-defined, intuitive? We have come to know that it is better to cultivate extensibly than to brand robustly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and ASP. Do you have a plan of action to become back-end? It may seem confused, but it's true!