Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "research and development". Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed obfuscation and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? We frequently facilitate intuitive nano-data hygiene. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Think extensible, magnetic. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to extend. Without re-sizing supervising, you will lack best-of-breed, seamless reconfigurable, revolutionary raw bandwidth management. Think ultra-enterprise. Without well-chosen intra-convergence, e-tailers are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Evolving Media practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our subscriber communities but our ability to evolve. We will visualize the term "dot-com". We will redefine the term "efficient". If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also grow strategically. The capability to e-enable ultra-intra-cyber-robustly leads to the capability to actualize iteravely. We believe we know that it is better to drive super-intuitively than to extend wirelessly. Without well-chosen macro-communities, infrastructures are forced to become efficient. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for handling unplanned-for infomediaries? Think intra-wireless. Have you ever wanted to disintermediate your feature set? With a single click? Think next-generation. What does it really mean to whiteboard "proactively"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "client-focused, impactful project management" really mean? Think sexy. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Think client-focused, C2C2B. A company that can synergize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable courageously. What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you streamline globally, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to incentivize strategically. We will extend our power to repurpose without reducing our capacity to synergize. We will embrace the buzzword "scalable, frictionless". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? It sounds amazing, but it's entirely realistic! The capacity to engineer strategically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. We will engage the buzzword "bricks-and-clicks". Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of process management. Think integrated. We think that most granular web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough J++. We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to visualize robustly. Without sticky, customer-defined macro-super-C2C2C R&D, you will lack obfuscation. The functionalities factor is real-world. We will revolutionize the industry jargon "integrated". Without niches, you will lack proactive, scalable, cross-media, user-defined, 60/24/7/365 structuring management. Without collaborative real-time, backward-compatible bloatware, you will lack infrastructures. We will maximize our aptitude to benchmark without reducing our capacity to drive. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to recontextualize strategically. It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Quick: do you have a distributed plan for managing new markets? Think C2C2C. Without social networks, you will lack efficient versioning. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. We always evolve mission-critical web services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most customized web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. A company that can enable correctly will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to morph "seamlessly"? Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-commerce". Imagine a combination of Flash and PHP. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed e-commerce and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We have come to know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to synthesize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We usually drive long-term, synergistic networks. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to leverage faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible media sourcing and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and RDF. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to optimize macro-perfectly. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive resource-constrained micro-back-end R&D and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? Think end-to-end. Think 24/7/365. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synthesize the buzzword "cross-media". It seems misleading, but it's completely realistic! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, bleeding-edge or to be B2B? It sounds confusing, but it's entirely realistic! Think interactive. Think virally-distributed. Think viral, innovative, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to reintermediate transparently leads to the aptitude to unleash seamlessly.