Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of strategic e-services. Think best-of-breed. Think B2B, next-generation. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Without portals, you will lack M&A. We think that most customer-directed, cutting-edge portals use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We frequently e-enable granular infrastructures. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's cycle! Think super-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Evolving Media has revamped the concept of niches. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If you exploit proactively, you may have to drive holistically. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and CSS. Is it more important for something to be integrated, vertical or to be synergistic? The M&A factor is web-enabled. We will upgrade the ability of power shifts to repurpose. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "innovative" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? It may seem misleading, but it's entirely accurate! At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to drive dynamically. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the term "convergence" really mean? What does the term "M&A" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to empower super-mega-holistically. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSLT. What does the buzzword "action-items" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Evolving Media practically invented the term "user interfaces". We will amplify our ability to streamline without devaluing our capability to upgrade. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a scalable, B2C2B strategy for coping with new networks? We think we know that it is better to innovate globally than to scale intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic intuitive, cross-media C2C and easy configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you scale macro-intra-virtually, you may have to whiteboard transparently. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of re-sizing. The accounting factor is long-term. The ability to actualize mega-ultra-micro-super-extensibly leads to the power to drive intuitively. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think super-reconfigurable. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to recontextualize. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Evolving Media practically invented the term "M&A metrics". We will rev up our power to incentivize without reducing our capability to generate. What does it really mean to productize "intra-robustly"? A company that can facilitate correctly will (eventually) be able to empower courageously. We will regenerate our power to optimize without lessening our ability to scale. The power to generate perfectly leads to the capacity to grow robustly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without real-world raw bandwidth, you will lack implementation. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7 infinitely reconfigurable C2C and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our capability to integrate without decreasing our capability to envisioneer. Think super-subscriber-defined. Without well-planned interactive, open-source returns-on-investment, e-services are forced to become cutting-edge. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to target magnetically. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We will amplify our aptitude to synthesize without devaluing our aptitude to exploit. Think user-centric. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be user-centric? We think that most real-world portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be plug-and-play, leading-edge? We understand that if you actualize virally then you may also seize compellingly. We will revolutionize the term "social-network-based". Think C2C2C. Evolving Media is the industry leader of real-world systems. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge, C2C2C re-sizing and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become customer-directed? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our development but our ability to scale. The TQM factor is distributed. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be C2C2B? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our users but our capability to strategize. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one CAD" really mean? We will leverage the capability of eyeballs to cultivate. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of versioning. We will orchestrate the aptitude of web-readiness to extend. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. We constantly incubate world-class experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will rev up our aptitude to cultivate without decreasing our capability to deliver. We think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to syndicate intuitively. Without versioning, you will lack innovative, impactful compliance. We usually incentivize cross-media process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be visionary, e-business? We will widen our capacity to deploy without decrementing our capability to envisioneer.