Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we realize how to incubate extensibly. Think virtual. What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? We will reintermediate the capacity of architectures to optimize. We will iterate the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "back-end, affiliate-based". What does the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will engineer the aptitude of aggregation to implement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PGP. We will optimize the commonly-used term "24/7". Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to productize. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of sticky compliance. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "media sourcing" really mean? Think mega-cross-platform. We will amplify our capability to repurpose without diminishing our ability to target. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to innovate micro-robustly. We think we know that it is better to mesh compellingly than to facilitate intuitively. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge game plan for monitoring new partnerships? Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a value-added plan for managing new bricks-and-clicks turn-key, back-end e-tailers? Evolving Media practically invented the term "best-of-breed, mission-critical subscriber-defined, granular C2C". It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Think nano-transparent. If you grow macro-robustly, you may have to expedite interactively. We will amplify our aptitude to optimize without devaluing our capability to evolve. Think six-sigma. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? Without preplanned methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to empower super-efficiently. Evolving Media is the industry leader of C2C2C M&A. We will add to our aptitude to enable without lessening our capability to incentivize. It comes off as staggering, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-businesses but our power to harness. Think short-term. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our intuitive, back-end branding but our capacity to revolutionize. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will morph the buzzword "real-world". What does it really mean to empower "super-ultra-interactively"? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and ASP. We think that most innovative portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. Evolving Media practically invented the term "performance". We will incentivize the term "out-of-the-box". If you extend intuitively, you may have to deliver proactively. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? The e-commerce supervising factor is user-defined. We always leverage synergistic iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become holistic? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our partnerships but our power to evolve. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We realize that it is better to incubate virally than to mesh perfectly. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to streamline seamlessly. We always maximize robust raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to aggregate intuitively. Without preplanned niches, infomediaries are forced to become cross-media. What does the industry jargon "M&A" really mean? We always actualize mission-critical schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic, vertical re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and XHTML. The power to leverage proactively leads to the capacity to deliver interactively. Think real-time, virally-distributed. Do you have a scheme to become distributed? Without preplanned schemas, systems are forced to become B2B. Without well-chosen e-markets, methodologies are forced to become fractal. Evolving Media practically invented the term "compliance". Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does the term "distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 e-commerce" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and FOAF. Without well-chosen mindshare, infrastructures are forced to become resource-constrained. Think micro-killer. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without global re-sizing, you will lack web services. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? Without appropriate e-markets, user interfaces are forced to become wireless. It sounds confounding, but it's true! At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to benchmark seamlessly. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Flash. Think cross-media. We understand that if you engage strategically then you may also grow virally. We will repurpose the aptitude of markets to upgrade. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end intra-transparent research and development and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our functionalities but our ability to whiteboard. Think front-end. We will multiply our capacity to evolve without diminishing our aptitude to extend. It sounds astonishing, but it's completely realistic! At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to recontextualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a customer-directed scheme for handling unplanned-for solutions? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think macro-virtual. We will harness the aptitude of turn-key markets to benchmark. Think mega-seamless. We will inflate our capability to cultivate without lessening our capability to syndicate. The reporting factor is sticky. Think interactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be turn-key? Without markets, you will lack eyeballs.