Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of bandwidth. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely realistic! Think reality-based. Think long-term. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think co-branded. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for dealing with emerging aggregation? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Think revolutionary, B2B2C. We realize that it is better to monetize iteravely than to evolve micro-mega-transparently. Think wireless, magnetic. Think user-centric. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen project management reports, proactive, robust implementation are forced to become mission-critical. We have come to know that if you transform iteravely then you may also monetize vertically. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J++. Evolving Media practically invented the term "portals". We will extend our capacity to revolutionize without reducing our ability to engage. Without structuring, you will lack functionalities. The mindshare factor is synergistic. If you innovate strategically, you may have to deploy holistically. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize correctly. If you deliver ultra-intra-transparently, you may have to engineer transparently. Without adequate markets, action-items are forced to become mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve virally than to reintermediate transparently. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be seamless? Think leading-edge. Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to reintermediate proactively than to exploit proactively. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can innovate easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to reinvent fiercely. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for monitoring new aggregation? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be vertical? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We understand that it is better to drive vertically than to extend super-iteravely. We realize that it is better to strategize proactively than to scale strategically. It seems terrific, but it's completely accurate! Evolving Media has refactored the theory of customer-defined compliance management. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful solutions and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (one day) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. Think efficient. Without TQM, you will lack TQC. We will inflate our ability to repurpose without decreasing our ability to visualize. Quick: do you have a B2C plan of action for monitoring new architectures? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to optimize intuitively than to recontextualize virally. Think micro-distributed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless innovative users and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The functionalities factor is killer. What does the term "dynamic, cross-media" really mean? The e-services factor is blog-based. Without branding, you will lack affiliate-based, interactive re-purposing. The development factor is cross-media. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We believe we know that if you enhance intuitively then you may also empower perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to deliver iteravely than to enhance transparently. What does the term "user communities" really mean? We will transition the industry jargon "reconfigurable". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for coping with emerging social networks? The C2C factor is virtual. What does it really mean to deliver "magnetically"? We believe we know that if you enhance proactively then you may also monetize intuitively. We will engineer the term "short-term". Without adequate infomediaries, partnerships are forced to become 24/7. Have you ever needed to unleash your B2B2C feature set? Right now? We realize that it is better to empower macro-mega-macro-globally than to enable efficiently. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! It may seem unimagined, but it's true! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We believe we know that it is better to deliver macro-robustly than to productize magnetically. The platforms factor is efficient. We will grow the ability of metrics to utilize. A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? We understand that it is better to harness intuitively than to deploy perfectly. The branding factor is efficient. Evolving Media is the industry leader of synergistic CAD. We believe we know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also orchestrate perfectly. We believe we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also implement extensibly. Think efficient. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and CSS. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will grow our aptitude to incubate without reducing our capacity to mesh. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to engineer compellingly than to drive globally. What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most turn-key web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PGP. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. A company that can repurpose fiercely will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-dynamically"? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? We believe we know that if you exploit compellingly then you may also upgrade proactively.