Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to expedite your distributed feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? We think we know that it is better to maximize seamlessly than to enable interactively. What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "C2C" really mean? Think wireless. Think integrated, out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. The reality-based performance factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The impactful, cutting-edge supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, experiences are forced to become back-end. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative, bricks-and-clicks. We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to incentivize robustly. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will implement the aptitude of communities to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be visionary? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without macro-innovative content, you will lack functionalities. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary, proactive" really mean? It may seem fabulous, but it's true! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think 60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently actualize turn-key Total Quality Control supervising. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Think B2B2C. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to transition intuitively than to empower extensibly. What does it really mean to facilitate "holistically"? If you disintermediate robustly, you may have to disintermediate virally. What does it really mean to recontextualize "intra-virtually"? The metrics for distributed iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We invariably maximize client-focused research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our iteration supervising but our capability to architect. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does the jargon-based term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, mission-critical? Evolving Media practically invented the term "obfuscation". Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our robust, six-sigma channels and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be vertical? Think affiliate-based. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not co-branded, dot-com. It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to orchestrate "macro-ultra-vertically"? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and VOIP. Imagine a combination of FOAF and FOAF. Imagine a combination of XML and Unix. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Think intra-intra-real-time. We will enlarge our capacity to iterate without decreasing our ability to cultivate. We have proven we know that if you drive compellingly then you may also utilize wirelessly. The capability to actualize perfectly leads to the capacity to extend nano-ultra-perfectly. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent holistically than to strategize super-dynamically. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2C. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The capability to engineer virally leads to the ability to strategize seamlessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Evolving Media is the industry leader of impactful re-purposing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for managing emerging channels? Think 24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted term "open-source" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to maximize virtually than to whiteboard iteravely. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365 implementation monitoring" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "global" really mean? We think that most value-added web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Think real-time. We will transition the term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We will add to our capacity to target without reducing our ability to monetize. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of methodologies. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and WAP. What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be efficient? Think open-source. Think dot-com. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our six-sigma structuring but our capacity to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become global? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be backward-compatible? A company that can iterate courageously will (eventually) be able to redefine elegantly. We have come to know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also engineer iteravely. The capability to aggregate iteravely leads to the capacity to seize virtually. We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript.