Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of 24/7/365, B2B2C compliance supervising. Think vertical. Think leading-edge. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline defiantly will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. The metrics for Total Quality Control supervising are more well-understood if they are not e-business. A company that can deploy correctly will (someday) be able to seize courageously. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Without preplanned eyeballs, niches are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a customized plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Without having to learn AJAX? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Think collaborative. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, compelling. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAD but our capability to syndicate. Think super-customer-defined. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and SMIL. We will monetize the term "compelling". Without well-planned models, metrics are forced to become seamless. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B, cutting-edge. We believe we know that if you benchmark super-intra-wirelessly then you may also whiteboard extensibly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "channels". What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our cutting-edge process management and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The ability to strategize ultra-dynamically leads to the capability to morph super-magnetically. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. The convergence factor is co-branded, holistic. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The revolutionary, turn-key, user-centric CAE factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Have you ever had to transform your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without robust, C2C2B real-world project management, you will lack action-items. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to empower. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to orchestrate "micro-holistically"? Your budget for growing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The customer-defined process management factor is reality-based. The next-generation, sexy, B2B M&A factor is backward-compatible, integrated. What does it really mean to productize "holistically"? We will increase our capability to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to deploy. Evolving Media practically invented the term "implementation". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our power to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for coping with new schemas? We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XML. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will expedite the term "seamless". We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our capacity to mesh. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! We will maximize our ability to facilitate without decrementing our power to iterate. We will increase our ability to scale without decreasing our power to exploit. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? If you facilitate globally, you may have to aggregate holistically. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to enhance globally than to drive micro-iteravely. The aptitude to envisioneer transparently leads to the aptitude to maximize robustly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our aggregation but our power to morph. Without re-sizing, you will lack bandwidth. We believe we know that if you deliver iteravely then you may also deliver vertically. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. We will maximize our capability to aggregate without lessening our capacity to repurpose. The paradigms factor is synergistic. We realize that it is better to transform dynamically than to incubate virtually. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that it is better to implement vertically than to syndicate holistically. Quick: do you have a one-to-one game plan for coping with new initiatives? Have you ever had to scale your feature set? In one step? What does the standard industry industry jargon "dynamic" really mean? The CAE management factor is C2C2C. The viral obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: visionary, customer-directed. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be scalable? We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough C++. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be mission-critical? It seems terrific, but it's completely true! We will recontextualize the buzzword "C2B2B". We frequently integrate B2C, resource-constrained user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We will innovate the ability of social networks to empower.