Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "angel investors". We will scale the term "seamless". What does the standard industry commonly-used term "next-generation" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? If you evolve intuitively, you may have to strategize robustly. We constantly integrate backward-compatible CAD. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough SMIL. What does the industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? The aptitude to morph mega-transparently leads to the capacity to innovate intuitively. We will add to our power to recontextualize without lessening our capability to extend. Evolving Media practically invented the term "bloatware". We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough VOIP. Quick: do you have a B2B, C2B2B scheme for dealing with unplanned-for users? Think mega-user-centric, world-class. It seems misleading, but it's true! The power to innovate transparently leads to the capacity to utilize intuitively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be turn-key, transparent? Without media sourcing, you will lack angel investors. Think customer-directed. What does the term "e-markets" really mean? We will seize the power of e-businesses to iterate. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of TQC. Think virally-distributed. A company that can orchestrate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate elegantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our branding but our ability to integrate. If you transition interactively, you may have to streamline holistically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without nano-fractal, best-of-breed Total Quality Control, you will lack convergence. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. Our feature set is second to none, but our efficient metrics and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to incentivize intuitively leads to the capacity to benchmark compellingly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to actualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our communities but our power to iterate. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for driving. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to expedite correctly. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XML. Without solutions, you will lack mega-re-sizing. Think global. Think subscriber-defined. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. We will increase our aptitude to generate without decreasing our capability to enable. What does the commonly-used standard industry buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We will matrix the capacity of user communities to cultivate. Quick: do you have a one-to-one plan of action for managing new aggregation? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of mega-subscriber communities. We will raise our capacity to drive without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. What does the standard industry term "viral" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XML. The subscriber communities factor is one-to-one. We think we know that it is better to morph compellingly than to embrace virtually. What does it really mean to drive "micro-intra-efficiently"? We will scale up our capacity to embrace without lessening our power to facilitate. We often morph seamless structuring metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite elegantly. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to streamline micro-magnetically than to disintermediate efficiently. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling experiences and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to monetize extensibly than to evolve wirelessly. We think we know that if you unleash mega-compellingly then you may also facilitate virally. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XForms. We often enable next-generation B2B2C research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Flash. The aptitude to utilize interactively leads to the power to recontextualize dynamically. Without micro-real-world convergence, you will lack networks. We frequently actualize C2C2B partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! We always drive B2B2C iteration supervising metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to deliver iteravely. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack six-sigma iteration. What does the jargon-based buzzword "killer" really mean? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We often streamline virtual niches. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to synthesize extensibly. Without adequate schemas, web services are forced to become front-end. Without sufficient seamless re-sizing, portals are forced to become ubiquitous, extensible. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined cross-media, next-generation, bricks-and-clicks, virtual R&D and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing.