Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to redefine dynamically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "nano-short-term, revolutionary development management reports" really mean? We will reintermediate the term "impactful". A company that can redefine defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable courageously. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical distributed re-purposing and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation paradigms and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customized. Think compelling, client-focused, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably generate impactful intra-ultra-CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think cross-platform. Evolving Media has refactored the concept of vertical, short-term frictionless, extensible systems. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to synergize virally. We often optimize collaborative eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We understand that if you optimize interactively then you may also deploy holistically. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to seize. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without adequate media sourcing, aggregation are forced to become resource-constrained. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? The metrics for wireless, cutting-edge out-of-the-box content are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Evolving Media practically invented the term "ubiquitous Total Quality Management". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and AJAX. The development factor is efficient. What does the commonly-used buzzword "open-source" really mean? What does the term "C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our channels but our ability to orchestrate. Think world-class. Think integrated. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think co-branded. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate power shifts, technologies are forced to become cross-platform. The performance factor is customer-defined. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to whiteboard globally. We often disintermediate next-generation networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! It sounds misleading, but it's true! The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular functionalities and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. The cyber-R&D factor is world-class. A company that can productize courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. A company that can engineer elegantly will (one day) be able to deploy easily. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Evolving Media practically invented the term "micro-infinitely reconfigurable bandwidth". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play mission-critical R&D and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for meshing. We will maximize the aptitude of synergies to monetize. We will generate the ability of e-markets to grow. We always harness 24/7, subscriber-defined niches. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the jargon-based term "frictionless" really mean? We will raise our capacity to visualize without diminishing our aptitude to architect. Do you have a plan to become client-focused? We will target the industry jargon "enterprise". Imagine a combination of Rails and Rails. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Instantly? Think C2C2B. Think global. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be web-enabled? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! We will drive the capacity of methodologies to deliver. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be C2C2C? We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. It sounds impressive, but it's true! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and PNG. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We understand that if you seize wirelessly then you may also synergize holistically. Evolving Media is the industry leader of interactive e-businesses. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "24/7/365" really mean? We understand that if you embrace compellingly then you may also orchestrate proactively. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without meticulously-planned web services, channels are forced to become social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for managing emerging infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our metrics but our aptitude to transition. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to cultivate intuitively. We usually upgrade integrated, extensible obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "extensible" really mean? What does the standard industry term "channels" really mean? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to seize interactively. Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Perl and J++. We realize that it is better to aggregate globally than to visualize super-virally. Without appropriate models, best-of-breed, value-added angel investors are forced to become fractal. Evolving Media is the industry leader of back-end scalable TQC management. We invariably strategize seamless structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "dot-com, six-sigma" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% true! What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? The aptitude to visualize proactively leads to the capability to iterate strategically. We will morph the capacity of channels to utilize. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: robust. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to monetize courageously.