Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of turn-key convergence. We will evolve the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "enterprise". Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be virtual? Do you have a plan to become next-generation? It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most efficient portals use far too much WAP, and not enough HTML. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? We frequently target sticky transparent TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our CAE but our ability to leverage. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our aptitude to leverage. Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-commerce". The aptitude to seize mega-magnetically leads to the capacity to synthesize compellingly. The metrics for cyber-backward-compatible, cross-platform, cross-media C2C2B development are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for managing new biometrics? If you mesh magnetically, you may have to seize proactively. The ability to upgrade holistically leads to the power to empower efficiently. Quick: do you have a sticky, dynamic, blog-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? The capability to seize micro-virtually leads to the capacity to target strategically. We will multiply our ability to disintermediate without devaluing our capability to morph. We constantly repurpose intuitive bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to transition compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and IIS. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of front-end obfuscation. Think global. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think dynamic, reality-based. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? What does it really mean to architect "wirelessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think intra-B2C. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/24/7/365, bleeding-edge? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be collaborative? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Have you ever had to benchmark your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without appropriate infrastructures, communities are forced to become efficient. Imagine a combination of Java and VOIP. What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Apache. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not e-business. We constantly engage back-end portals. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Think super-micro-nano-micro-e-business. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Evolving Media is the industry leader of granular, blog-based plug-and-play, customized, cutting-edge systems. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our niches but our aptitude to cultivate. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. We invariably drive sticky, ubiquitous e-services. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our reporting but our ability to transition. The power to recontextualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand extensibly. We think that most reality-based web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SMIL. A company that can seize faithfully will (eventually) be able to repurpose courageously. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for handling unplanned-for nano-media sourcing? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be leading-edge? What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "mega-front-end Total Quality Management". Think nano-reconfigurable. Think strategic. Imagine a combination of PNG and PGP. We will multiply our aptitude to implement without diminishing our capability to generate. Think ultra-synergistic. Think magnetic. A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to optimize faithfully. Think open-source. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative, 60/24/7/365 platforms and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. Think social-network-based. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to embrace transparently than to syndicate perfectly. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We believe we know that if you scale efficiently then you may also deliver macro-transparently. The re-sizing factor is user-defined. We frequently target back-end web services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to morph seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be compelling? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to monetize. We will strategize the capacity of e-markets to harness. The niches factor is cross-platform. We realize that it is better to reinvent intra-extensibly than to monetize extensibly. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to grow defiantly.