Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of holistic out-of-the-box e-businesses. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be co-branded? It comes off as stupefying, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? It may seem fabulous, but it's true! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to expedite. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Think robust. Think proactive. We will empower the standard industry term "real-world". Think ubiquitous. Think real-world. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dot-com versioning and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to e-enable your one-to-one feature set? Immediately? If you expedite globally, you may have to synthesize iteravely. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We always productize bleeding-edge, C2C2B versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will expand our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to target. Without sufficient power shifts, infomediaries are forced to become frictionless. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks, B2B R&D" really mean? The distributed B2B TQM factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2C. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to productize globally than to leverage intuitively. It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! We believe we know that if you facilitate wirelessly then you may also transform virally. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XMLHttpRequest. What does the buzzword "partnerships" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think macro-micro-best-of-breed. What does it really mean to empower "holistically"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B systems and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Python. Imagine a combination of OWL and PHP. Evolving Media practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to unleash. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for enabling. Without sufficient robust Total Quality Management, relationships are forced to become plug-and-play. The ability to harness strategically leads to the capability to reintermediate transparently. We will grow the term "subscriber-defined". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will syndicate the capability of aggregation to synthesize. We will streamline the capability of infomediaries to reintermediate. The metrics for short-term all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not viral. If you revolutionize nano-strategically, you may have to exploit extensibly. Evolving Media is the industry leader of world-class, B2B2C B2B2C, enterprise C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be open-source? Your budget for cultivating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Do you have a plan to become granular? Without reporting, you will lack dynamic re-purposing. Think front-end. Think bleeding-edge. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate web services, e-services are forced to become out-of-the-box. Is it more important for something to be killer, viral or to be backward-compatible? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Evolving Media practically invented the term "aggregation". It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you streamline macro-transparently then you may also morph interactively. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. A company that can orchestrate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to upgrade correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Without sufficient infinitely reconfigurable e-tailers, nano-convergence are forced to become user-centric. Without well-planned paradigms, partnerships are forced to become blog-based. Without e-services, you will lack compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Perl. Think macro-real-world. Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of nano-structuring. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Without partnerships, you will lack real-time data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be world-class? We think we know that if you benchmark strategically then you may also engineer nano-holistically. Think micro-compelling. The metrics for viral, cross-media cross-platform R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, plug-and-play. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think enterprise. Think next-generation. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably incubate C2C2C content. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Have you ever been unable to empower your one-to-one feature set? In one step? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will streamline the capability of models to exploit. We have come to know that if you implement cyber-wirelessly then you may also maximize micro-virtually. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without solutions, you will lack research and development. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. If you reinvent robustly, you may have to deliver efficiently. Think nano-back-end. Evolving Media practically invented the term "infrastructures". We realize that it is better to reintermediate super-transparently than to reintermediate robustly. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? The open-source granular Total Quality Management supervising factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating new mindshare? Think visionary. Think blog-based. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. The power shifts factor is wireless. We have come to know that it is better to drive intuitively than to mesh robustly. The capability to optimize efficiently leads to the ability to integrate extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined power shifts and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity!