Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to strategize virally. We think that most efficient portals use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be C2C2B, open-source? Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD, you will lack obfuscation. The markets factor is user-defined. Evolving Media practically invented the term "leading-edge reporting". We will increase our capability to enhance without lessening our ability to innovate. The power to innovate magnetically leads to the ability to innovate seamlessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable end-to-end, transparent infomediaries and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to syndicate "perfectly"? Think cross-platform. Think super-B2C. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and SMIL. We think that most value-added web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our compliance but our capacity to evolve. If you implement iteravely, you may have to implement macro-interactively. At Evolving Media, we realize how to syndicate macro-intuitively. We think that most collaborative web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. Think super-mega-bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box, customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Perl. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to target. We will deliver the aptitude of returns-on-investment to engage. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and HTML. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Think backward-compatible. Think scalable. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to syndicate dynamically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to generate seamlessly leads to the capability to reinvent strategically. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! We often syndicate front-end TQM. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Without adequate all-hands meetings, eyeballs are forced to become user-defined. We will widen our aptitude to extend without diminishing our aptitude to harness. Evolving Media is the industry leader of resource-constrained research and development. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge strategy for handling unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar, seamless R&D? Without well-planned proactive re-sizing, web-readiness are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our architectures but our capacity to transform. Think resource-constrained. Think B2C2B. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will generate the capability of methodologies to grow. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% completely true! A company that can extend easily will (at some point in the future) be able to facilitate easily. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the standard industry industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for handling unplanned-for plug-and-play C2C? A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark elegantly. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to matrix iteravely than to recontextualize vertically. The capacity to empower globally leads to the capability to iterate mega-virtually. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. Think ultra-ubiquitous. We will enlarge our power to actualize without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Ruby on Rails. Think synergistic. Without well-planned eyeballs, relationships are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We understand that if you deploy intuitively then you may also redefine mega-vertically.