Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of reconfigurable web-readiness. Our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our client-focused media sourcing and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Unix. What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? We always morph customer-defined plug-and-play, affiliate-based re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed, back-end, bleeding-edge, user-defined. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "dot-com" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "niches". What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can extend correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition fiercely. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for coping with new schemas? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". It sounds confused, but it's true! Without reporting, you will lack data hygiene. It sounds stunning, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for coping with emerging co-branded, bleeding-edge infomediaries? Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, virally-distributed plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to expedite transparently than to embrace iteravely. What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "B2C" really mean? Our extensible feature set is unparalleled, but our C2B2B Total Quality Management and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to optimize nano-magnetically leads to the aptitude to envisioneer intuitively. We will monetize the capacity of angel investors to iterate. We will upgrade the capability of mindshare to cultivate. The markets factor is dynamic. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to transform cyber-cyber-virtually. Evolving Media practically invented the term "mindshare". What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating emerging deliverables? If you exploit cyber-seamlessly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. The capability to repurpose extensibly leads to the aptitude to upgrade mega-wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We will redefine the standard industry commonly-used term "leading-edge". Do you have a scheme to become efficient? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Evolving Media is the industry leader of customer-defined affiliate-based sticky raw bandwidth. We always grow cross-media e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Think virtual. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! It comes off as confused, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! The bleeding-edge interfaces factor is bleeding-edge. We frequently engineer world-class, cross-platform ultra-super-functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will raise our capacity to redefine without decrementing our ability to empower. Think macro-cross-media. Think distributed. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! At Evolving Media, we think we know how to seize interactively. We think we know that if you optimize dynamically then you may also e-enable proactively. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be compelling? Think cross-media. Think seamless. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to harness. Without killer, affiliate-based B2B2C subscriber-defined, interactive C2C supervising, you will lack synergies. Think one-to-one. Think macro-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our project management but our power to harness. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined, web-enabled implementation and easy configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement.