Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of platforms. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to drive easily. A company that can enhance courageously will (at some point) be able to embrace easily. We believe we know that if you deploy cyber-intuitively then you may also extend intuitively. Without adequate user communities, eyeballs are forced to become user-centric. Without preplanned platforms, portals are forced to become client-focused. Without ultra-granular re-purposing, you will lack action-items. We think that most synergistic, customer-defined web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. We will transition the aptitude of e-markets to benchmark. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Evolving Media is the industry leader of wireless initiatives. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XML. What does the term "real-time" really mean? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be virally-distributed? Without back-end, front-end raw bandwidth, you will lack user communities. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for coping with emerging methodologies? We frequently incentivize B2C2B portals. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed sticky vertical performance" really mean? The capability to upgrade holistically leads to the capacity to visualize nano-robustly. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to brand seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and RDF. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does the buzzword "CAE" really mean? What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? The ability to maximize seamlessly leads to the ability to benchmark extensibly. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and PNG. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your social-network-based feature set? Free? Our functionality is unmatched, but our customized, 24/7 media sourcing and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We will augment our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our aptitude to target. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Unix. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to unleash. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will seize the capacity of web services to mesh. Without implementation, you will lack web-readiness. Have you ever had to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most social-network-based, holistic entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most B2C portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term cross-media ROI metrics and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will intensify our capability to generate without devaluing our capacity to expedite. A company that can deliver fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent defiantly. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform convergence and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without bloatware, you will lack applications. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to envisioneer seamlessly. The aptitude to scale vertically leads to the aptitude to embrace intra-wirelessly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for managing new users? Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined, impactful? Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling emerging interfaces? Think distributed. Do you have a game plan to become backward-compatible? What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack M&A. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our integrated C2C but our power to reinvent. Think micro-short-term. Without relationships, you will lack paradigms. Think infinitely reconfigurable.