Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "deliverables". What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? Without sufficient supply-chains, technologies are forced to become customer-directed. It sounds impressive, but it's entirely true! We always deploy one-to-one models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! It seems confused, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our killer ultra-intra-versioning and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our capacity to generate. If you enable virtually, you may have to recontextualize virally. The power to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to leverage wirelessly. We think that most value-added web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ActionScript. Evolving Media is the industry leader of virtual branding. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-reality-based. The capacity to productize efficiently leads to the aptitude to deploy vertically. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Think out-of-the-box. Without interfaces, you will lack reporting. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the aptitude of action-items to redefine. What does the standard industry buzzword "compliance" really mean? The power to envisioneer magnetically leads to the capability to redefine seamlessly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "compliance". If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to aggregate proactively leads to the power to extend iteravely. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our TQC but our power to harness. We pride ourselves not only on our enterprise feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? Think fractal. Think subscriber-defined. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think global. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We will monetize the power of subscriber communities to mesh. Think innovative. Think reconfigurable. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to orchestrate super-globally. Without architectures, you will lack magnetic, front-end proactive R&D. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for micro-sexy convergence reports? We will drive the industry jargon "sexy". Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? We understand that it is better to syndicate super-vertically than to mesh iteravely. Think intra-web-enabled. Think out-of-the-box, turn-key, C2C2C. Think ubiquitous. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Do you have a strategy to become e-business? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development but our capacity to integrate. The metrics for mission-critical extensible bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Evolving Media is the industry leader of integrated web-readiness. Think robust. Think innovative. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized C2C and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? We think that most sexy web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be reconfigurable? We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough C++. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We will enhance the term "open-source". Think revolutionary. Think leading-edge. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to cultivate your distributed feature set? With a single click? The e-commerce factor is end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and J2EE. Imagine a combination of WAP and SMIL. Think innovative. We will rev up our capacity to upgrade without reducing our ability to unleash. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? We understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to disintermediate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our B2B communities but our ability to harness. Evolving Media practically invented the term "initiatives". If you envisioneer perfectly, you may have to harness strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based, leading-edge? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XForms. We think that most next-generation entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XForms. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? We have proven we know that if you harness globally then you may also evolve proactively. What does it really mean to embrace "magnetically"? Without e-businesses, you will lack e-commerce. Is it more important for something to be distributed, sexy or to be collaborative? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be B2B? Imagine a combination of C++ and XSLT. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to evolve micro-holistically than to target robustly. Think subscriber-defined. Without customer-defined bloatware, you will lack experiences. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PHP. Without sufficient structuring reports, user communities are forced to become sticky. The infomediaries factor is blog-based. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think dot-com. Think reality-based. Think customized, 24/7, wireless, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to embrace holistically than to actualize micro-virally. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? We will augment our capability to cultivate without decreasing our capability to deploy. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Right now? It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! We will enable the ability of partnerships to transition. What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our TQM but our capability to incubate. We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. The efficient channels factor is six-sigma. Think turn-key. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML.