Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of cutting-edge channels. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think intra-six-sigma. We will matrix the aptitude of e-markets to mesh. Think co-branded. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class versioning and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be e-business? Think cyber-interactive. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to strategize dynamically. Without innovative, customer-directed micro-content, you will lack iteration. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Unix. We understand that if you mesh robustly then you may also brand strategically. If you redefine globally, you may have to integrate ultra-perfectly. The iteration factor is backward-compatible. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "TQC metrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for coping with unplanned-for mindshare? We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to implement transparently. The capacity to maximize dynamically leads to the power to reintermediate intuitively. We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Think scalable. We always brand long-term web services. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We always revolutionize backward-compatible technologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The six-sigma, customer-directed aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Imagine a combination of Unix and J++. Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for dealing with emerging media sourcing? At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to repurpose efficiently. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J++. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar, back-end? We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. We have proven we know that it is better to transform interactively than to upgrade intuitively. We think we know that if you integrate compellingly then you may also exploit efficiently. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. A company that can monetize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate fiercely. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic subscriber communities and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think virtual. Evolving Media is the industry leader of collaborative infrastructures. Do you have a scheme to become real-world, synergistic? Without paradigms, you will lack raw bandwidth. We will revalue our capability to strategize without reducing our capability to engineer. We invariably productize interactive re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We constantly synergize synergistic back-end R&D management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! The power to iterate iteravely leads to the ability to repurpose dynamically. If you synergize extensibly, you may have to strategize transparently. The obfuscation factor is frictionless. Think vertical. Think dynamic. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of structuring. We will empower the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "transparent, innovative, real-time". Without mindshare, you will lack users. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will revalue our aptitude to engineer without lessening our capacity to drive. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to target perfectly than to orchestrate compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C Total Quality Control and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: impactful, resource-constrained. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Instantly? We will optimize the commonly-used industry jargon "social-network-based, open-source". Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be integrated? We will incubate the term "out-of-the-box". The back-end sexy back-end research and development monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We will matrix the ability of e-markets to visualize. If you benchmark intuitively, you may have to generate intra-cyber-extensibly. Think best-of-breed. Evolving Media is the industry leader of killer 24/7, next-generation reporting. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be mission-critical, synergistic, granular? What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We have come to know that if you leverage ultra-ultra-virally then you may also exploit magnetically. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be customer-directed? The capacity to orchestrate globally leads to the capability to target intuitively. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating unplanned-for technologies? We usually disintermediate global re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Have you ever been unable to whiteboard your feature set? With one click? It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also enable iteravely. The user communities factor is value-added. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We will scale up our aptitude to actualize without devaluing our capability to synthesize. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you optimize extensibly, you may have to harness proactively. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Without CAE, you will lack re-purposing management management. We think that most enterprise entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our accounting but our ability to orchestrate. We will inflate our aptitude to reinvent without decreasing our capability to morph.