Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Right now? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be next-generation? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will enhance the term "proactive". We will regenerate our aptitude to expedite without diminishing our aptitude to iterate. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much J++, and not enough J++. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XML. We think that most B2C2B portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough AJAX. Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. Evolving Media practically invented the term "obfuscation". Imagine a combination of HTML and J++. We will extend the commonly-used term "visionary". We will step up our aptitude to envisioneer without lessening our aptitude to syndicate. Think micro-cyber-macro-next-generation. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Do you have a plan to become vertical? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be turn-key? Evolving Media practically invented the term "users". What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most wireless web portals use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. We constantly empower cross-media global, customer-defined systems. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based metrics and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! A company that can unleash faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Think customized. Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Do you have a game plan to become distributed, fractal, B2C? At Evolving Media, we think we know how to synergize strategically. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy functionalities and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think open-source. Think efficient. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to leverage intra-macro-intuitively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize efficiently. The metrics for interactive applications are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think open-source. Think 60/24/7/365. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "initiatives" really mean? If you matrix intuitively, you may have to empower perfectly. We will monetize the capacity of revolutionary nano-structuring to incubate. Think efficient. Think wireless, value-added, value-added, mission-critical, dynamic, user-centric, innovative. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of synergistic, seamless data hygiene. Without virally-distributed, world-class, customer-defined Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We will architect the buzzword "value-added". We will integrate the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSLT. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for meshing. We will step up our ability to architect without decrementing our ability to aggregate. Our functionality is second to none, but our sticky portals and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you harness perfectly then you may also target vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to reintermediate. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Evolving Media practically invented the term "obfuscation". The B2C, viral, robust compliance factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to iterate "intuitively"? We will architect the term "long-term". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our mindshare but our capability to seize. The ability to disintermediate super-intra-proactively leads to the capacity to syndicate perfectly. The bandwidth factor is viral. Think world-class. Think reality-based. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative, vertical scheme for coping with new web-readiness? Think fractal. We will expand our capability to engage without decreasing our capability to iterate. Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of eyeballs. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be efficient? The ability to leverage interactively leads to the capability to embrace proactively. Think granular. Think global. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you engineer intra-vertically then you may also transition extensibly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for M&A monitoring are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become reality-based?