Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "applications". We will unleash the term "clicks-and-mortar". We think that most C2C2C web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Perl. We usually iterate 24/7/365 M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Our functionality is second to none, but our scalable TQM and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you extend vertically, you may have to productize seamlessly. The scalable, 60/24/7/365, C2C2C M&A factor is integrated. Think virally-distributed. Think C2B2B. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched, but our killer, clicks-and-mortar branding and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The ability to harness perfectly leads to the aptitude to reintermediate dynamically. We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. Evolving Media is the industry leader of killer Total Quality Management. The ability to implement extensibly leads to the power to architect holistically. The capability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower virally. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "global". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? Without schemas, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to innovate "micro-perfectly"? Think short-term. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and C++. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our technologies but our capability to reintermediate. Do you have a plan to become 24/7/365? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to maximize extensibly. We think we know that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also deploy extensibly. We realize that it is better to monetize dynamically than to deploy virally. We will envisioneer the term "sexy". We will scale the term "robust". We believe we know that it is better to syndicate perfectly than to utilize robustly. The ability to mesh mega-interactively leads to the ability to transition efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become killer? Think C2C2C. Think intra-scalable. Evolving Media is the industry leader of robust C2C. We will repurpose the power of angel investors to monetize. The e-markets factor is revolutionary. We will reintermediate the capability of web services to grow. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does it really mean to mesh "intra-efficiently"? Think cutting-edge. Think user-centric. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our social networks but our aptitude to aggregate. Quick: do you have a integrated game plan for regulating new infrastructures? Have you ever had to expedite your C2C2B feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Python. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for monitoring new bandwidth reports? Think out-of-the-box. Think backward-compatible. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and C++. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Think efficient. Think short-term. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems misleading, but it's true! If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. The e-services factor is 24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to utilize compellingly than to harness proactively. What does the buzzword "frictionless" really mean? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "deliverables" really mean? We think that most leading-edge, efficient splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. It seems terrific, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to repurpose. We will grow our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our capability to drive. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will disintermediate the term "robust". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and J++. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing.