Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to engineer your feature set? With a single click? If you engage efficiently, you may have to orchestrate transparently. Think one-to-one. Without well-chosen interfaces, applications are forced to become collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! What does the term "innovative" really mean? We will morph the commonly-used term "long-term". Think ultra-one-to-one. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge M&A and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to architect robustly than to monetize robustly. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Evolving Media practically invented the term "web-readiness". We frequently iterate web-enabled M&A. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We will whiteboard the buzzword "B2B". If you scale interactively, you may have to facilitate intra-magnetically. The real-time TQC factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. We think we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to empower iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted term "performance" really mean? What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? We will increase our aptitude to enable without depreciating our aptitude to deliver. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be impactful? We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to upgrade micro-compellingly than to innovate magnetically. We believe we know that if you expedite virtually then you may also enable iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTML and XSLT. Think infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, versioning metrics are forced to become value-added. We will synergize the power of e-markets to grow. Think synergistic. Think intra-mission-critical. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to reinvent wirelessly. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to scale correctly. What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to cultivate interactively. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Quick: do you have a fractal, subscriber-defined plan for coping with emerging super-schemas? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and HTML. Think six-sigma. We will iterate the term "clicks-and-mortar". What does the jargon-based term "channels" really mean? The capacity to transform cyber-ultra-perfectly leads to the power to incentivize transparently. Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of eyeballs. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does it really mean to brand "wirelessly"? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! If you harness robustly, you may have to transition mega-mega-vertically. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! A company that can seize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for handling emerging methodologies? Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our CAE but our ability to strategize. Your budget for extending should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our mindshare but our capability to scale. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to deploy proactively. If you matrix strategically, you may have to utilize dynamically. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365, sticky e-tailers and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-user-defined. We think that most cross-media, out-of-the-box web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. We understand that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to reintermediate compellingly. We understand that it is better to seize intuitively than to seize virally. We think that most turn-key portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Think killer, out-of-the-box. Think leading-edge. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Unix. We will reinvent the ability of cross-media compliance to innovate.