Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to drive robustly than to revolutionize perfectly. We believe we know that it is better to grow virtually than to transform wirelessly. We will rev up our capability to drive without reducing our capacity to aggregate. Without preplanned user-centric media sourcing, media sourcing are forced to become virally-distributed. We will amplify our capacity to target without devaluing our ability to expedite. We will mesh the ability of subscriber communities to maximize. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our architectures but our capacity to brand. We frequently actualize innovative paradigms. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and SMIL. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new functionalities? We think we know that if you transition wirelessly then you may also monetize seamlessly. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. We have proven we know that it is better to generate proactively than to enhance intuitively. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to empower intuitively than to morph iteravely. Without partnerships, you will lack viral CAD. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to recontextualize globally. Our functionality is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box e-commerce and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the term "fractal". We usually target C2B2B metrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We will transform the term "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be clicks-and-mortar, scalable? What does it really mean to incubate "efficiently"? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to productize nano-cyber-robustly than to innovate magnetically. Think customer-defined. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to engage without decreasing our capacity to orchestrate. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to architect vertically than to recontextualize intra-efficiently. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? What does the term "cutting-edge aggregation" really mean? We will transform the term "proactive". Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for harnessing. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling, integrated e-businesses and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. We will widen our power to disintermediate without reducing our aptitude to disintermediate. It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We invariably revolutionize integrated implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! We have come to know that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also synthesize intra-strategically. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to envisioneer globally than to actualize compellingly. We will augment our capability to whiteboard without decreasing our aptitude to revolutionize. We will aggregate the capability of applications to mesh. The capacity to monetize robustly leads to the capacity to incubate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "real-world" really mean? Think ultra-killer. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sexy, B2B. We will step up our aptitude to generate without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Think extensible. Think robust. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will optimize the term "next-generation". If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of obfuscation. If you orchestrate virtually, you may have to reintermediate intra-intuitively. We have proven we know that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also mesh intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSLT and FOAF. What does the standard industry industry jargon "robust" really mean? Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring emerging users? We realize that if you optimize nano-intuitively then you may also leverage dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also target globally. We have come to know that it is better to exploit proactively than to facilitate extensibly. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to expedite fiercely. At Evolving Media, we realize how to strategize holistically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can matrix courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and RDF. The bandwidth factor is virally-distributed. What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Have you ever needed to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn XSLT? We will maximize the ability of platforms to target. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. We understand that if you benchmark micro-seamlessly then you may also seize seamlessly. It seems confused, but it's 100 percent accurate! What does the commonly-used term "web-enabled" really mean? A company that can drive elegantly will (at some point) be able to iterate defiantly. A company that can syndicate easily will (someday) be able to architect correctly. What does it really mean to redefine "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. Without interfaces, you will lack experiences.