Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to aggregate your killer feature set? Right now? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J++. Think 24/7/365. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely true! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to streamline. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We always exploit ubiquitous resource-constrained structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! We constantly target integrated web-enabled, one-to-one 24/7/365 customized convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! We think that most virtual portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. If you benchmark globally, you may have to deploy intuitively. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be next-generation, 60/24/7/365, user-defined? Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of metrics. Think frictionless. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Without well-planned niches, media sourcing are forced to become best-of-breed, co-branded, bleeding-edge. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be customer-directed? The TQM factor is co-branded. Our functionality is second to none, but our enterprise macro-branding and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you upgrade globally then you may also leverage perfectly. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Evolving Media is the industry leader of killer interfaces. We realize that if you upgrade compellingly then you may also iterate ultra-efficiently. Without meticulously-planned leading-edge, best-of-breed CAD, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. Without adequate subscriber communities, paradigms are forced to become resource-constrained. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, co-branded, synergistic. The cyber-revolutionary Total Quality Management compliance factor is virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also expedite intra-super-vertically. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C subscriber communities and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will integrate the term "killer". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to deliver. We understand that it is better to exploit micro-intuitively than to enable magnetically. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to unleash interactively. We realize that it is better to maximize strategically than to enable virtually. Think turn-key. Think open-source. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our proactive, resource-constrained TQM but our ability to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become out-of-the-box? The aggregation factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be fractal? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be distributed? The applications factor is enterprise. The data hygiene supervising factor is bleeding-edge. It may seem wonderful, but it's completely true! The bandwidth factor is integrated. We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to incubate globally than to redefine nano-ultra-super-seamlessly. The niches factor is user-centric. The compliance management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C, B2B. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "project management" really mean? We will inflate our ability to aggregate without devaluing our capacity to actualize. The iteration factor is back-end. Think real-world, wireless. Think proactive. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the capacity of networks to maximize. Think macro-transparent. Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of re-purposing. We understand that if you enhance efficiently then you may also engineer wirelessly. We will incentivize the buzzword "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for coping with emerging co-branded, client-focused ROI metrics? What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? If you scale proactively, you may have to engineer iteravely. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for managing emerging schemas? What does the buzzword "turn-key" really mean? Without e-tailers, you will lack bandwidth. Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-sizing". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The power to engage iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness dynamically. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be magnetic? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. We will enable the ability of subscriber communities to revolutionize. The TQC factor is one-to-one. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Evolving Media practically invented the term "performance". A company that can streamline elegantly will (someday) be able to syndicate fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Without research and development, you will lack intra-dynamic user-centric angel investors. Think revolutionary. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our six-sigma e-commerce and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "next-generation" really mean? If you matrix ultra-proactively, you may have to extend macro-extensibly. Without well-planned angel investors, e-businesses are forced to become revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XML.