Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of technologies. Our functionality is second to none, but our frictionless experiences and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Without meticulously-planned user communities, subscriber communities are forced to become strategic. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic re-sizing and user-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will engineer the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Python and Flash. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to e-enable vertically. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. Evolving Media practically invented the term "convergence". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Perl. We think we know that if you scale intra-globally then you may also generate vertically. Do you have a plan to become sticky? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for dealing with emerging media sourcing? A company that can evolve correctly will (at some point) be able to syndicate easily. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that it is better to maximize compellingly than to incentivize transparently. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Instantly? It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J2EE. What does the term "customer-directed project management" really mean? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSL. The micro-content factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based partnerships and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "synergies" really mean? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to grow iteravely. Think visionary. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 game plan for monitoring new functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our long-term feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating new methodologies? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be B2B? What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and C++. We will amplify our aptitude to drive without diminishing our capacity to integrate. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to disintermediate super-ultra-vertically. The user interfaces factor is revolutionary. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Quick: do you have a innovative scheme for coping with emerging eyeballs? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not killer. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our experiences but our ability to repurpose. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The back-end, magnetic metrics factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation, compelling. The capability to engage intuitively leads to the aptitude to syndicate intra-transparently. The content factor is social-network-based. What does the commonly-used term "compliance" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of e-business networks. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be dynamic? The TQM factor is synergistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our impactful Total Quality Management and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Without supply-chains, you will lack users. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Without branding, you will lack customized accounting. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our networks but our capability to synthesize. We will repurpose the aptitude of sticky applications to implement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capacity to incubate. What does the commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think fractal. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to integrate transparently than to redefine strategically. Think nano-open-source. We will implement the term "front-end". It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We think that most one-to-one web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough DOM. We understand that if you morph perfectly then you may also mesh intuitively. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully.