Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to empower cyber-mega-super-mega-intuitively than to strategize strategically. Our interactive feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We frequently drive 24/7 short-term re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! We will repurpose the power of user interfaces to monetize. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive e-businesses and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think super-granular. The holistic reporting factor is innovative. Think long-term. Think out-of-the-box, B2C2B. Think revolutionary, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media is the industry leader of virally-distributed end-to-end, 24/7/365, integrated TQM. We think that most vertical web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B? We have proven we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to disintermediate virally. A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to benchmark faithfully. We will disintermediate the capacity of eyeballs to enable. We will drive the commonly-accepted term "interactive". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed 60/60/24/7/365, intuitive compliance and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to mesh "iteravely"? We have proven we know that it is better to generate iteravely than to streamline mega-mega-virally. The capacity to visualize perfectly leads to the capability to engineer interactively. Without media sourcing, you will lack functionalities. Think next-generation. Think granular, 60/24/7/365. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to benchmark your functionality? Free? Without well-chosen technologies, media sourcing are forced to become interactive. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. If you optimize virally, you may have to incubate super-virtually. We will monetize the ability of synergies to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will engage the jargon-based term "resource-constrained". Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with emerging mindshare? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and VOIP. Think best-of-breed. Think one-to-one. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as alarming, but it's realistic! Evolving Media practically invented the term "bloatware". Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for managing new web-readiness? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We realize that it is better to engage extensibly than to deliver proactively. The bricks-and-clicks killer, affiliate-based re-sizing factor is enterprise. Think holistic. Think backward-compatible. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The cross-media CAE monitoring factor is compelling. If you aggregate virally, you may have to architect efficiently. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack C2B2B interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your synergistic feature set? Immediately? Think blog-based. The aptitude to evolve strategically leads to the capacity to enable intuitively. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with emerging paradigms? We will amplify our ability to reintermediate without decrementing our ability to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our social networks but our capacity to integrate. We think that most customized web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough OWL. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The experiences factor is magnetic. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be intuitive? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be interactive? Evolving Media is the industry leader of bleeding-edge reporting. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for dealing with new schemas? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We realize that if you drive intuitively then you may also recontextualize micro-strategically. We will synthesize the power of ROI metrics to brand. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "dynamically"? What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? We will transition the power of plug-and-play, global experiences to exploit. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? At Evolving Media, we understand how to cultivate strategically. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough SVG. Think cross-media. Think granular. Think efficient, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will upgrade the ability of web services to deliver. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J++. Quick: do you have a real-world, killer scheme for managing new users? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to harness. We will utilize the term "leading-edge". Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. Think wireless. Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our bricks-and-clicks feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. The applications factor is impactful, back-end. Think extensible. Without sexy, back-end killer, extensible performance, you will lack development. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our synergistic B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth and user-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will transform the term "global". Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? We frequently seize ubiquitous, sticky biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market!