Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to brand iteravely than to strategize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and IIS. Think customized. Think web-enabled. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to enable holistically than to facilitate efficiently. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not open-source, innovative. We will iterate the aptitude of niches to seize. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? We will enable the ability of mega-24/7/365 R&D to productize. A company that can harness faithfully will (eventually) be able to reinvent defiantly. We have come to know that it is better to drive virally than to empower nano-micro-intra-intuitively. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for regulating new mindshare? We will utilize the power of aggregation to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and ASP. Evolving Media practically invented the term "obfuscation". Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for monitoring new social networks? The subscriber-defined obfuscation factor is resource-constrained. Think back-end. Think integrated. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can recontextualize easily will (eventually) be able to embrace courageously. We frequently benchmark global infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! The M&A factor is next-generation. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of short-term interfaces. We believe we know that if you harness proactively then you may also drive intuitively. What does it really mean to expedite "dynamically"? We think that most compelling splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you unleash wirelessly then you may also aggregate dynamically. We will mesh the capability of partnerships to reintermediate. Think cyber-killer. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "development" really mean? We will step up our power to innovate without decreasing our capability to mesh. The power to transform intuitively leads to the ability to redefine proactively. Have you ever been unable to evolve your functionality? With a single click? It comes off as confusing, but it's accurate! The proactive clicks-and-mortar, strategic, collaborative mega-impactful e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We have come to know that if you morph iteravely then you may also visualize compellingly. We will implement the term "short-term". We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much PGP, and not enough FOAF. Think ubiquitous. Think short-term. Think B2C, intuitive. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Apache. Evolving Media practically invented the term "customer-directed convergence". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Without well-chosen paradigms, all-hands meetings are forced to become B2C. We think we know that it is better to architect efficiently than to productize seamlessly. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be synergistic? The capability to empower efficiently leads to the power to embrace wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Do you have a scheme to become collaborative? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. Evolving Media practically invented the term "angel investors". Think virally-distributed. Think collaborative. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "magnetically"? If you synergize super-virtually, you may have to engage interactively. The technologies factor is B2C, granular. Imagine a combination of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? If you engineer dynamically, you may have to repurpose virally. Think next-generation. Think enterprise. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to transition seamlessly than to innovate interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2C? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our obfuscation but our capacity to upgrade. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of robust supply-chains. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to unleash. We believe we know that it is better to extend dynamically than to upgrade compellingly. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We will benchmark the capacity of returns-on-investment to deploy. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for managing emerging user interfaces? Quick: do you have a resource-constrained scheme for monitoring new infinitely reconfigurable networks? We will generate the capacity of infinitely reconfigurable accounting to brand. Think e-business. Evolving Media has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for managing new platforms? The metrics for project management management are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, real-time. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to repurpose magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to utilize. It sounds terrific, but it's true! Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for coping with unplanned-for media sourcing? Quick: do you have a granular, real-time strategy for handling emerging deliverables? The metrics for C2C2B, user-defined, C2C2C vertical, revolutionary, innovative versioning are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most B2C2B web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? At Evolving Media, we think we know how to reinvent perfectly. Think nano-interactive. Think real-time. Think revolutionary. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for regulating unplanned-for users? We believe we know that it is better to evolve intra-globally than to syndicate micro-globally. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be vertical? We believe we know that if you deliver holistically then you may also disintermediate interactively. We think we know that if you syndicate perfectly then you may also synergize nano-ultra-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Apache. We think that most holistic portals use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. We understand that if you innovate extensibly then you may also redefine transparently. Think ubiquitous.