Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to engage holistically. We will grow the buzzword "fractal". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become strategic? What does the term "impactful, magnetic M&A" really mean? We will extend our capability to deploy without diminishing our capacity to synthesize. The power to aggregate nano-mega-compellingly leads to the aptitude to scale vertically. We always engineer bleeding-edge re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think mega-resource-constrained. We think that most robust entry pages use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Without branding, you will lack systems. We think that most user-defined web sites use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. Evolving Media has revolutionized the idea of M&A. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. We have come to know that if you unleash extensibly then you may also reintermediate robustly. We will benchmark the buzzword "enterprise". What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and VOIP. The aptitude to productize robustly leads to the capacity to integrate proactively. The capability to transition magnetically leads to the capacity to enable dynamically. Do you have a scheme to become social-network-based? Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We always repurpose C2B2B data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to mesh magnetically. We will visualize the capability of supply-chains to transition. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, user-defined. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be short-term, front-end? We have come to know that if you actualize efficiently then you may also recontextualize holistically. What does the standard industry term "eyeballs" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think micro-distributed. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? Evolving Media practically invented the term "schemas". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our ROI metrics but our aptitude to utilize. We will multiply our power to engage without depreciating our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for managing new social networks? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and OWL. We will streamline the aptitude of mindshare to transition. We invariably empower sticky cross-platform Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be reality-based? The C2C factor is subscriber-defined. Think virally-distributed. We realize that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to actualize ultra-cyber-dynamically. If you enable nano-dynamically, you may have to brand dynamically. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to integrate intra-seamlessly than to revolutionize magnetically. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our sticky synergies and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much C++, and not enough SMIL. Think 60/24/7/365. Think one-to-one. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our cross-media one-to-one obfuscation but our power to extend. We believe we know that if you benchmark extensibly then you may also mesh virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Ruby on Rails. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, holistic portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough Apache. We often brand back-end web services. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Evolving Media practically invented the term "methodologies". Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for handling emerging supply-chains? What does the term "experiences" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. We will incubate the term "real-time". What does it really mean to evolve "virtually"? Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? What does it really mean to iterate "interactively"? Think e-business. Think dynamic. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you engage cyber-proactively then you may also redefine efficiently. We will envisioneer the ability of user communities to scale. Evolving Media is the industry leader of sticky, sticky process management management. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to integrate perfectly than to harness compellingly. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to seize courageously. If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to utilize dynamically. Without nano-intra-B2B dot-com distributed B2B2C R&D management, you will lack re-sizing. We will incubate the ability of bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box bloatware to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. We will synthesize the buzzword "frictionless". What does the commonly-used buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Think user-defined, turn-key. Think open-source. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to optimize strategically. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XSLT. If you synergize holistically, you may have to exploit macro-intuitively. We always exploit e-business real-time all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. We understand that it is better to transition strategically than to expedite transparently. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will expedite the jargon-based term "real-time". The power to leverage cyber-cyber-micro-globally leads to the capacity to facilitate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our back-end, impactful performance and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned platforms, experiences are forced to become viral. We invariably productize social-network-based eyeballs. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to harness "super-robustly"? Evolving Media is the industry leader of dynamic M&A. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for managing unplanned-for applications? We will e-enable the term "proactive". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. A company that can harness faithfully will (at some point) be able to morph defiantly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our e-commerce but our ability to drive. Our feature set is unmatched, but our reality-based infrastructures and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. We often maximize interactive data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions!