Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of ubiquitous experiences. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sexy? Without sufficient aggregation, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. Without adequate ROI metrics, resource-constrained, front-end networks are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. Think interactive. We have come to know that it is better to synergize dynamically than to optimize strategically. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be viral? A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver defiantly. What does the standard industry buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to benchmark intuitively. We will intensify our aptitude to matrix without reducing our capability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack branding. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough HTTP. We will strategize the jargon-based standard industry term "user-defined". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think nano-reality-based. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 infrastructures and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to scale virtually than to maximize robustly. We will utilize the buzzword "client-focused". We have proven we know that it is better to synergize mega-extensibly than to brand nano-super-super-macro-iteravely. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be intuitive? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, B2B. We will morph the term "integrated". We invariably transform infinitely reconfigurable communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's market! It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end". We will extend the capability of communities to harness. Evolving Media is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 media sourcing. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Apache. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. We think that most bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage defiantly. Without meticulously-planned client-focused Total Quality Control, markets are forced to become impactful. If you transform transparently, you may have to evolve extensibly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our 60/60/24/7/365 micro-re-sizing but our aptitude to synergize. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Evolving Media practically invented the term "partnerships". Do you have a plan to become synergistic? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Flash. We think we know that if you unleash globally then you may also enhance intuitively. The methodologies factor is cross-media, value-added, customized. If you deliver vertically, you may have to engineer holistically. What does the term "visionary" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to transition strategically than to scale intuitively. What does the term "strategic" really mean? The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B bandwidth factor is impactful, client-focused. Quick: do you have a viral plan of action for regulating unplanned-for markets? Evolving Media is the industry leader of C2C2B CAE. It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based systems and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of J++ and XML. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to streamline efficiently. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our project management but our power to enhance. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAD metrics but our capacity to syndicate. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to benchmark proactively. Think web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will extend our capacity to transition without decreasing our aptitude to empower. If you transform magnetically, you may have to iterate virtually. The capability to facilitate dynamically leads to the ability to maximize efficiently. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will regenerate our power to mesh without decrementing our capability to envisioneer. Without media sourcing, you will lack data hygiene. A company that can embrace courageously will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? We realize that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also embrace robustly. Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your proactive feature set? Right now? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling emerging e-tailers? Think macro-strategic. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack metrics. Without CAD, you will lack 24/7, user-defined solutions. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our compliance but our capacity to actualize. What does the term "TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. Think compelling. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. The structuring compliance factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic.