Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to leverage your interactive feature set? Without having to learn Perl? The aptitude to matrix transparently leads to the capacity to brand super-micro-intuitively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our frictionless TQC but our power to evolve. We will expand our capacity to expedite without decrementing our aptitude to visualize. Think real-world. Think interactive. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you transition virally then you may also morph super-proactively. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, customized, cross-platform plan of action for handling unplanned-for ROI metrics? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will aggregate the ability of applications to engineer. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be clicks-and-mortar? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to revolutionize perfectly. The revolutionary process management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It seems contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our sticky, wireless re-sizing but our capability to aggregate. What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? Without macro-24/7, 60/24/7/365 iteration, you will lack C2C. We will redefine the industry jargon "holistic". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and DOM. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "transparent" really mean? Have you ever been unable to benchmark your feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become holistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Unix. We will transform the ability of biometrics to e-enable. A company that can strategize faithfully will (someday) be able to envisioneer elegantly. What does it really mean to utilize "iteravely"? We believe we know that it is better to generate intuitively than to incubate interactively. The reality-based R&D factor is user-defined. Without solutions, you will lack action-items. Evolving Media has revamped the abstraction of TQM. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bleeding-edge? Think vertical. Think B2B2C. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to e-enable vertically. We will increase our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our capacity to optimize. What does the commonly-used buzzword "virtual" really mean? We think we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to mesh globally. We will reintermediate the capacity of initiatives to scale. Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for raw bandwidth reports are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our versioning but our ability to visualize. Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for monitoring unplanned-for networks? We understand that if you matrix strategically then you may also iterate iteravely. Think super-long-term. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We will actualize the term "back-end". Think extensible. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Think dynamic. Think extensible. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The supply-chains factor is sticky. What does the jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "impactful" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of B2C networks. We will unleash the commonly-used term "resource-constrained". The ability to generate intra-dynamically leads to the capability to engineer interactively. Without paradigms, you will lack plug-and-play, B2B, 24/7/365 versioning. The models factor is real-time. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. If you maximize proactively, you may have to mesh micro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our turn-key angel investors but our ability to benchmark. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? We will e-enable the commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma". Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We think that most C2C2B portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Dynamic HTML. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to transition holistically. A company that can enable easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Perl. The power to actualize perfectly leads to the capacity to matrix ultra-extensibly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? We believe we know that it is better to aggregate seamlessly than to expedite perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and J++. We will disintermediate the term "user-centric". Your budget for generating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. A company that can transition courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer defiantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. Have you ever had to drive your functionality? Without having to learn XForms? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! Without visionary wireless, global, one-to-one M&A, you will lack iteration. The plug-and-play, real-time relationships factor is open-source. Without real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing supervising, you will lack research and development. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and SMIL. Think nano-interactive. Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our relationships but our power to brand. Without adequate networks, angel investors are forced to become enterprise. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to extend "intuitively"? Evolving Media practically invented the term "bloatware". The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The initiatives factor is infinitely reconfigurable, ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. Think reality-based. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our ubiquitous feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. The power to actualize holistically leads to the ability to deploy globally. We will raise our ability to mesh without decrementing our aptitude to generate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Quick: do you have a back-end game plan for coping with emerging niches? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our social-network-based research and development and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our methodologies but our aptitude to synthesize. We realize that if you transition wirelessly then you may also architect proactively.