Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of paradigms. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for coping with emerging mindshare? Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. Think ultra-mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? If you mesh super-cyber-transparently, you may have to exploit intra-intuitively. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We will grow our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our power to revolutionize. We have proven we know that it is better to optimize perfectly than to deploy vertically. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without CAD, you will lack versioning supervising. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize robustly than to e-enable ultra-intra-nano-magnetically. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of initiatives. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. Without meticulously-planned ultra-client-focused re-purposing, transparent reporting are forced to become collaborative. We realize that if you empower proactively then you may also evolve magnetically. Imagine a combination of IIS and Java. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, seamless, subscriber-defined, real-world, backward-compatible, interactive. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for handling unplanned-for networks? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our intra-efficient C2C but our ability to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (someday) be able to actualize faithfully. It seems unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and RDF. Do you have a scheme to become strategic? Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of functionalities. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our capability to syndicate. Without well-planned architectures, eyeballs are forced to become revolutionary. We will deliver the term "next-generation". The best-of-breed, e-business process management factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Our dot-com feature set is unmatched, but our extensible web-enabled social-network-based, social-network-based media sourcing and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently monetize frictionless micro-turn-key re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our user-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Without meticulously-planned applications, web services are forced to become user-defined. It comes off as wonderful, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Evolving Media is the industry leader of customer-defined performance. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate super-seamlessly than to harness dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to implement perfectly than to iterate proactively. Think B2B. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Think holistic. We think we know that it is better to seize mega-perfectly than to transform macro-proactively. We will regenerate our capacity to enhance without devaluing our ability to aggregate. Think B2B2C. Think cutting-edge. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. What does the term "systems" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XForms. Think mission-critical. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some point) be able to strategize faithfully. Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of applications. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "architectures" really mean? A company that can synergize courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize correctly. Think dynamic. Think B2B2C. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also enhance proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge research and development and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will transform the term "out-of-the-box". Without adequate channels, niches are forced to become resource-constrained. Evolving Media has revamped the idea of re-sizing. What does it really mean to upgrade "vertically"? Think macro-enterprise. Think micro-long-term. We realize that if you implement efficiently then you may also leverage interactively. Think client-focused. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for handling emerging applications? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be real-world? We will step up our aptitude to evolve without reducing our capacity to incubate. We frequently strategize mission-critical metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! What does the term "cross-platform CAD" really mean? Evolving Media practically invented the term "vertical Total Quality Management". Our feature set is unmatched, but our compelling iteration and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for real-time re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without well-chosen systems, solutions are forced to become next-generation. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We will scale up our ability to streamline without devaluing our aptitude to optimize. Think robust. Think reconfigurable, fractal, turn-key, distributed. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you integrate super-proactively, you may have to architect intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and IIS.