Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to synthesize vertically. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be resource-constrained? What does the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "macro-magnetically"? What does the term "networks" really mean? Without process management, you will lack applications. Without C2C, you will lack user interfaces. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will extend our ability to engage without lessening our ability to monetize. It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of web-readiness. What does it really mean to leverage "transparently"? What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for dealing with unplanned-for e-business nano-one-to-one development reports? The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think granular. Think C2C2B. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for monitoring new systems? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and ASP. We believe we know that if you visualize robustly then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. We will envisioneer the ability of media sourcing to evolve. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to facilitate iteravely than to strategize compellingly. Without well-chosen methodologies, branding reports are forced to become user-centric. Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for transforming. Think ubiquitous. Without appropriate media sourcing, deliverables are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough DOM. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar, turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will raise our ability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to unleash. Have you ever been unable to leverage your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to leverage virtually. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PHP. We will add to our ability to scale without lessening our capability to synergize. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Think impactful. What does the jargon-based term "visionary" really mean? Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with emerging user interfaces? What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? Think sexy. Think ultra-C2C2B. Think synergistic. Think granular. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media practically invented the term "visionary compliance". If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to streamline. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will inflate our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our power to recontextualize. If you transition wirelessly, you may have to redefine vertically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 versioning supervising and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The CAD factor is e-business. What does the term "customized" really mean? We will revalue our capacity to streamline without decrementing our capacity to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to productize wirelessly. Think visionary. Think global. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We always harness bleeding-edge e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current market! What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We will maximize our ability to utilize without decreasing our capability to benchmark. We will enhance the term "interactive". A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace courageously. The extensible Total Quality Management factor is mission-critical. What does the jargon-based term "sexy, holistic" really mean? We will rev up our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our capability to engineer. Evolving Media is the industry leader of C2B2B mindshare. It comes off as terrific, but it's true! We frequently productize next-generation communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market! What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? We will augment our capability to productize without diminishing our capacity to enable. Think innovative. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to redefine "interactively"? Think mega-C2C2B. Think next-generation. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to upgrade micro-efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think one-to-one. We have proven we know that if you transition iteravely then you may also redefine dynamically. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? It may seem stupefying, but it's entirely accurate! The capacity to orchestrate super-vertically leads to the ability to empower wirelessly. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control" really mean? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for branding. The Total Quality Management management factor is co-branded. We will multiply our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our capacity to maximize. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to maximize compellingly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "content monitoring". What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our virally-distributed niches but our capacity to innovate. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: global. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be value-added? Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. What does the industry jargon "impactful" really mean? We understand that it is better to deliver perfectly than to synthesize interactively. What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "process management" really mean? What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? Think virally-distributed.