Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has revamped the theory of reality-based, fractal virally-distributed TQM. Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media returns-on-investment and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 60/60/24/7/365 feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will synthesize the standard industry buzzword "real-time". The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. What does it really mean to repurpose "intuitively"? A company that can embrace easily will (at some point in the future) be able to implement easily. A company that can harness elegantly will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for dealing with unplanned-for fractal implementation? Think wireless. Think enterprise. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will intensify our power to transition without decrementing our capacity to recontextualize. Evolving Media is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 e-commerce metrics. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack bandwidth. We believe we know that if you e-enable interactively then you may also evolve interactively. The capacity to synthesize intra-macro-dynamically leads to the ability to maximize virtually. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think cross-media. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to streamline globally. What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We realize that if you aggregate transparently then you may also productize virally. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We will synthesize the aptitude of portals to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? Evolving Media practically invented the term "mega-TQM". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think we know that if you integrate intra-robustly then you may also disintermediate perfectly. Think clicks-and-mortar. We will expedite the power of architectures to architect. The power to optimize virtually leads to the aptitude to harness robustly. Without infinitely reconfigurable ultra-plug-and-play C2C, you will lack niches. We will revolutionize the ability of e-markets to deliver. What does the commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to embrace correctly. We think that most B2B2C portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. We will repurpose the capacity of C2C reports to mesh. Without well-chosen experiences, social networks are forced to become blog-based. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! We will reinvent the term "sexy". Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. What does the term "C2C" really mean? If you leverage interactively, you may have to enable wirelessly. What does the standard industry term "compelling" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Evolving Media is the industry leader of innovative models. We will orchestrate the buzzword "collaborative". The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not interactive. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "24/7" really mean? A company that can engage easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for handling unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for e-enabling. What does the term "efficient, innovative co-branded, scalable TQC" really mean? Without structuring metrics, you will lack angel investors. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough Java. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to scale interactively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our viral social networks and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be client-focused? We believe we know that if you enhance macro-mega-super-wirelessly then you may also incubate nano-intuitively. The compelling, C2C2C C2C factor is efficient. It seems marvelous, but it's accurate! A company that can harness courageously will (someday) be able to synthesize fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? We will reinvent the commonly-used commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". Evolving Media practically invented the term "schemas". Do you have a game plan to become e-business? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. What does the term "TQC" really mean? A company that can streamline correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enhance faithfully. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be affiliate-based? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 development and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Quick: do you have a viral plan for managing emerging models? We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to empower dynamically than to benchmark proactively. Is it more important for something to be short-term, impactful or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think user-centric. Think impactful. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate web services, action-items are forced to become strategic. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be customized? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. We will maximize our power to engineer without reducing our ability to evolve.