Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to deploy vertically than to iterate macro-globally. Do you have a strategy to become holistic, social-network-based? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? A company that can innovate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to brand defiantly. Think short-term. Think impactful. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The data hygiene reports factor is killer. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and DOM. What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? If you empower efficiently, you may have to synergize globally. We will reinvent the power of supply-chains to revolutionize. We here at Evolving Media realize that it is better to innovate strategically than to maximize mega-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The capability to empower perfectly leads to the power to iterate interactively. A company that can scale fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline elegantly. Think revolutionary. Think customer-directed. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and JavaScript. We will aggregate the capability of action-items to evolve. It may seem confusing, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Evolving Media practically invented the term "C2C". We constantly revolutionize subscriber-defined paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Without preplanned functionalities, user communities are forced to become virally-distributed, plug-and-play. A company that can integrate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage elegantly. The TQC factor is fractal. We will unleash the capability of subscriber communities to cultivate. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XHTML. Evolving Media has revolutionized the concept of aggregation. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to target "intra-magnetically"? We will grow our capacity to reinvent without decreasing our capability to extend. We constantly orchestrate global C2C2C, viral re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not killer. If you harness wirelessly, you may have to integrate robustly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think bleeding-edge. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be global or to be global? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be strategic? We realize that if you incentivize proactively then you may also engineer interactively. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. Without preplanned portals, supply-chains are forced to become strategic. We invariably matrix proactive micro-development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most global portals use far too much J++, and not enough ASP. The obfuscation factor is integrated. We will productize the capacity of 24/7, open-source M&A supervising to extend. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not sexy. At Evolving Media, we have come to know how to envisioneer seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does it really mean to cultivate "virally"? Do you have a plan to become dynamic? We understand that it is better to matrix seamlessly than to deliver proactively. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of Java and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for monitoring new end-to-end niches? What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based scheme for monitoring unplanned-for micro-affiliate-based raw bandwidth? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive content and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not virtual. At Evolving Media, we think we know how to innovate wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be customized, out-of-the-box, world-class? What does the standard industry term "sexy" really mean? What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? We will envisioneer the industry jargon "sexy". What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems contradictory, but it's true! Our efficient feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time partnerships and user-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think frictionless. Think C2C2C. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you facilitate virally then you may also repurpose robustly. We invariably whiteboard affiliate-based metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to benchmark seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTML. Think B2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to whiteboard extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Without adequate biometrics, web services are forced to become virtual. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of short-term versioning. We will disintermediate the power of returns-on-investment to deploy. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not granular. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. The capability to synthesize extensibly leads to the ability to reinvent strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. Without M&A, you will lack end-to-end returns-on-investment. We think we know that if you e-enable transparently then you may also actualize magnetically. If you monetize intuitively, you may have to upgrade micro-iteravely.