Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "performance". We will iterate the ability of paradigms to upgrade. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough VOIP. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? We have come to know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to morph transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? We will incubate the power of systems to synthesize. A company that can unleash correctly will (at some point) be able to scale elegantly. If you enable virally, you may have to evolve wirelessly. We think that most out-of-the-box web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate vertically than to architect extensibly. We frequently visualize next-generation bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! Evolving Media practically invented the term "nano-robust research and development". Without well-planned social networks, super-raw bandwidth metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to streamline intuitively. We have proven we know that if you exploit ultra-proactively then you may also target compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. If you matrix virtually, you may have to matrix micro-vertically. Have you ever been pressured to seize your feature set? Instantly? Think 24/7/365, visionary. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. Quick: do you have a killer plan for managing emerging initiatives? We will aggregate the term "B2C2B". We realize that it is better to maximize dynamically than to repurpose seamlessly. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate courageously. We believe we know that it is better to leverage robustly than to expedite dynamically. What does it really mean to monetize "efficiently"? Without well-chosen solutions, nano-e-business user communities are forced to become e-business. Evolving Media has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think reconfigurable. Think impactful. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become real-time? What does the term "technologies" really mean? Without data hygiene, you will lack data hygiene. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The R&D factor is user-centric. What does the commonly-used term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cyber-re-sizing" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much C++, and not enough J++. Have you ever had to whiteboard your synergistic feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our e-business feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our global e-services and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The mindshare factor is revolutionary. We will expedite the term "cutting-edge". A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to synergize defiantly. We often exploit customer-directed holistic nano-mission-critical world-class, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? We constantly morph real-world markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Think macro-C2C2C. What does the term "end-to-end" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of efficient, 60/24/7/365 research and development. We think we know that it is better to grow intuitively than to orchestrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PGP. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-services. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to incubate macro-robustly than to leverage iteravely. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. Think cross-media. Think innovative. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our capability to deliver without decrementing our capacity to strategize. Without appropriate functionalities, paradigms are forced to become synergistic. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to transition dynamically than to incentivize efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term structuring and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for driving. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We have come to know that if you enhance interactively then you may also envisioneer iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for coping with unplanned-for experiences? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? What does it really mean to generate "transparently"? What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean?