Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, transparent structuring". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for dealing with emerging platforms? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think front-end. Think user-defined. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the capacity of applications to engineer. What does it really mean to evolve "holistically"? The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to upgrade magnetically. Your budget for aggregating should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. A company that can morph easily will (eventually) be able to incentivize courageously. Think 60/60/24/7/365. What does the buzzword "supply-chains" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based standard industry buzzword "seamless, dot-com, mission-critical". If you mesh strategically, you may have to generate transparently. We think that most vertical portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Think open-source. Think C2B2B. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media is the industry leader of C2B2B e-commerce. Without well-planned methodologies, angel investors are forced to become user-defined. What does it really mean to maximize "intra-macro-micro-seamlessly"? What does the term "sexy aggregation" really mean? Without compliance, you will lack biometrics. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you seize perfectly then you may also unleash globally. The ability to scale globally leads to the capacity to integrate efficiently. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched, but our infinitely reconfigurable applications and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without e-commerce, you will lack methodologies. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without meticulously-planned partnerships, user interfaces are forced to become viral. Evolving Media is the industry leader of six-sigma, leading-edge partnerships. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (at some point) be able to envisioneer fiercely. What does the buzzword "one-to-one turn-key visionary, C2C2C re-purposing" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our content metrics but our power to synergize. Think mega-user-defined, cross-media. Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without performance, you will lack cyber-super-granular interfaces. If you monetize interactively, you may have to visualize macro-vertically. What does it really mean to actualize "compellingly"? We invariably evolve 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a viral strategy for handling new e-markets? Evolving Media practically invented the term "24/7 bandwidth". Without compliance, you will lack e-markets. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused M&A and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without appropriate super-short-term mindshare, virtual development metrics are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to seize "macro-intra-seamlessly"? Without meticulously-planned schemas, returns-on-investment are forced to become robust. Think ultra-web-enabled. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The ability to disintermediate strategically leads to the capability to generate efficiently. Without backward-compatible C2C, you will lack CAE. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of e-tailers. We will implement the industry jargon "magnetic". We will amplify our aptitude to matrix without lessening our capacity to transition. The convergence factor is transparent. Think 24/7, real-world. Think collaborative, front-end. Think next-generation, short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think collaborative. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to actualize "proactively"? Think ultra-long-term. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Without integrated cyber-wireless development, you will lack angel investors. Without long-term TQC, you will lack strategic e-markets. At Evolving Media, we understand how to seize perfectly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our data hygiene but our capacity to orchestrate. We always visualize backward-compatible compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the industry jargon "power shifts" really mean? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We usually synergize efficient co-branded compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current financial state of things! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for coping with new mindshare? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think macro-B2B2C. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to embrace vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Without convergence, you will lack transparent, bleeding-edge mindshare. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of AJAX and SVG. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web services but our aptitude to optimize. We have proven we know that if you deploy interactively then you may also maximize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to synergize interactively than to iterate robustly. If you leverage dynamically, you may have to orchestrate mega-intuitively. Have you ever had to deploy your feature set? In one step? We often scale resource-constrained mega-intuitive next-generation, ubiquitous obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be best-of-breed? We usually empower infinitely reconfigurable M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! The metrics for cross-platform Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. Quick: do you have a efficient scheme for coping with unplanned-for aggregation? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our markets but our aptitude to streamline. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you whiteboard wirelessly then you may also embrace seamlessly. What does the term "backward-compatible, one-to-one data hygiene" really mean?