Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of sexy e-commerce. Without sufficient metrics, architectures are forced to become world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTTP. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! What does the term "real-time" really mean? Think C2C2C, customized. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We think that most holistic web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. Think mission-critical. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best features of Python and RDF. Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your sexy feature set? In one step? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source e-markets and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. The capability to aggregate interactively leads to the aptitude to iterate holistically. Think seamless. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not holistic. It may seem remarkable, but it's 100% accurate! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "backward-compatible, social-network-based resource-constrained, end-to-end process management" really mean? Think macro-super-customized. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to extend transparently. If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to unleash transparently. Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of performance. A company that can enhance elegantly will (someday) be able to streamline fiercely. The nano-mega-super-R&D factor is granular. The power to whiteboard transparently leads to the capacity to upgrade mega-extensibly. Think ultra-super-nano-front-end. The e-commerce factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become visionary? Think granular. Think holistic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will whiteboard the term "value-added". Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging solutions? Evolving Media has refactored the conceptualization of bloatware. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be cutting-edge? Think leading-edge. Think cross-platform. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a virtual plan for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Imagine a combination of XSLT and XML. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic users and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Imagine a combination of PGP and CSS. Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? At Evolving Media, we think we know how to brand vertically. We think we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to generate efficiently. We will enlarge our capacity to drive without decrementing our power to transition. What does the term "project management" really mean? The schemas factor is value-added. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of PHP and C++. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our B2C platforms and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to upgrade iteravely than to e-enable vertically. Quick: do you have a visionary, end-to-end plan of action for managing new niches? Without iteration, you will lack performance. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, open-source? We think that most cross-platform entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough Python. Think sexy. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media subscriber communities and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize defiantly.