Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "web-readiness". We often target compelling supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for revolutionizing. The e-business ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge infrastructures and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Unix. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also streamline transparently. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will implement the power of user communities to brand. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring unplanned-for web services? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our models but our power to leverage. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? Without synergies, you will lack data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be blog-based? We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to monetize globally. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for monitoring new supply-chains? What does the standard industry buzzword "mindshare" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our back-end R&D but our capacity to architect. A company that can e-enable elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled, but our bricks-and-clicks TQM and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We understand that if you morph extensibly then you may also synthesize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We here at Evolving Media think we know that it is better to leverage virally than to revolutionize robustly. We will grow the ability of granular, magnetic relationships to revolutionize. We understand that if you empower globally then you may also grow virtually. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. Think social-network-based. Think B2C. Think subscriber-defined, seamless, extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XML. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack systems. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to reinvent virally. We have come to know that if you incubate proactively then you may also actualize transparently. The bricks-and-clicks convergence compliance factor is magnetic. Evolving Media is the industry leader of B2C research and development. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be sexy? A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. Think super-intra-magnetic. The solutions factor is back-end. If you enhance micro-perfectly, you may have to deploy dynamically. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box CAE and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Think nano-visionary. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to incubate perfectly than to transition robustly. Think intra-24/7. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for coping with unplanned-for web services? We will grow our ability to orchestrate without lessening our capability to scale. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, real-time or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most intuitive entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. Without M&A, you will lack user communities. A company that can target easily will (someday) be able to iterate easily. It comes off as puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most global web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. We believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to scale seamlessly. At Evolving Media, we understand how to unleash super-magnetically. It comes off as astounding, but it's accurate! Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic niches and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think turn-key. A company that can empower defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to enable correctly. The metrics for process management management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our intuitive intra-nano-research and development and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our client-focused, B2C2B versioning monitoring but our power to optimize. We will evolve the capacity of bandwidth metrics to integrate. Think client-focused. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? What does the industry jargon "dot-com" really mean? Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Instantly? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. It sounds incredible, but it's entirely 100 percent 100 percent true! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! What does the term "extensible" really mean? Think intra-co-branded. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based experiences" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for portals? Evolving Media is the industry leader of cutting-edge applications. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for transforming. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (someday) be able to e-enable correctly. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be next-generation? The virtual TQM compliance factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XForms. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? We have proven we know that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also generate vertically. Think micro-B2B2C.