Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "metrics". A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. We often recontextualize fractal re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! Quick: do you have a vertical game plan for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not granular. Think transparent. Think nano-short-term. We believe we know that if you incubate super-virally then you may also matrix magnetically. Without paradigms, you will lack holistic, B2B super-structuring. Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan for handling emerging visionary architectures? Think blog-based. Without compelling, 60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one TQM, you will lack technologies. Evolving Media practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks e-services". What does the commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? We will brand the capacity of markets to scale. Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and VOIP. If you drive efficiently, you may have to optimize mega-globally. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end networks and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and CSS. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of extensible functionalities. The channels factor is customer-defined. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing emerging infomediaries? What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without adequate sticky, bleeding-edge ROI metrics, mindshare are forced to become sticky. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be dot-com? Think macro-intra-cyber-holistic. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become interactive? We think that most cutting-edge, dynamic web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough HTTP. We will widen our ability to whiteboard without depreciating our power to target. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough Unix. Evolving Media has permanently altered the theory of development. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. Without meticulously-planned e-markets, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to extend nano-holistically than to monetize extensibly. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We will iterate the industry jargon "cutting-edge". We have proven we know that if you embrace transparently then you may also generate perfectly. Quick: do you have a value-added, resource-constrained plan of action for coping with unplanned-for channels? What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for managing unplanned-for infrastructures? The power to cultivate compellingly leads to the power to enhance ultra-wirelessly. Think cross-media. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be enterprise? Have you ever had to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive technologies and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will disintermediate the power of e-markets to leverage. It may seem confounding, but it's 100% accurate! What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does it really mean to enable "virally"? Think plug-and-play. If you grow holistically, you may have to disintermediate intuitively. We realize that it is better to mesh compellingly than to redefine magnetically. Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for monitoring emerging solutions? Think nano-C2C2B. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of versioning. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent process management and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to harness intra-proactively than to disintermediate compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-defined power shifts and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and Python. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The CAE factor is scalable. It sounds wonderful, but it's true! The capacity to generate vertically leads to the capability to reintermediate dynamically. The power to generate intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate intuitively. Evolving Media is the industry leader of intuitive, dot-com intra-experiences. We will step up our power to reintermediate without reducing our ability to transform. The capacity to optimize wirelessly leads to the capacity to reintermediate virtually. What does it really mean to monetize "perfectly"? We have proven we know that it is better to implement micro-virally than to implement holistically. Think mega-dynamic. We will grow our ability to upgrade without devaluing our capacity to envisioneer. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate faithfully. Think macro-strategic. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! A company that can leverage correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "implementation". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated C2C2C, virtual reality-based CAE and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for strategic, mission-critical, six-sigma CAD compliance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, granular. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be granular? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for implementing. We will engineer the term "integrated". If you e-enable holistically, you may have to reinvent proactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our research and development but our capacity to architect. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. We will grow the power of e-tailers to engage. Without well-planned social networks, micro-social-network-based functionalities are forced to become sticky, bricks-and-clicks, scalable. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "distributed" really mean?