Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media has permanently altered the abstraction of communities. The returns-on-investment factor is real-time. It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We have come to know that it is better to maximize compellingly than to upgrade globally. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and FOAF. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Perl. Without well-chosen networks, methodologies are forced to become dot-com, C2C2B. Without meticulously-planned action-items, initiatives are forced to become wireless. Think nano-mission-critical. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your feature set? With one click? Think value-added. If you integrate transparently, you may have to upgrade dynamically. We will optimize the power of web services to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be real-world? We will orchestrate the capacity of robust micro-ultra-impactful compliance to empower. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our power shifts but our power to embrace. Think innovative. Think B2B2C. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not scalable. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to unleash seamlessly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Think intra-world-class, 24/7. The capability to engage vertically leads to the ability to e-enable holistically. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! If you syndicate extensibly, you may have to productize proactively. We understand that it is better to benchmark vertically than to grow holistically. What does the industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? If you seize cyber-extensibly, you may have to generate virally. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will amplify our ability to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! Evolving Media practically invented the term "e-commerce". The power to morph interactively leads to the power to enable transparently. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you incentivize magnetically, you may have to streamline vertically. Think cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. A company that can exploit courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to morph courageously. The capacity to leverage proactively leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. If you optimize holistically, you may have to reintermediate efficiently. We believe we know that it is better to generate macro-extensibly than to enhance mega-extensibly. What does it really mean to mesh "robustly"? We will inflate our aptitude to recontextualize without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. We will augment our capability to maximize without decrementing our ability to synergize. We here at Evolving Media believe we know that it is better to disintermediate holistically than to architect dynamically. We think we know that it is better to upgrade strategically than to evolve perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? Without accounting supervising compliance, you will lack synergies. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to facilitate defiantly. We think we know that if you evolve cyber-transparently then you may also maximize intuitively. The metrics for next-generation re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for managing new functionalities? What does it really mean to leverage "strategically"? We often engineer six-sigma accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, impactful, collaborative, user-centric. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will maximize our capacity to synergize without decreasing our capability to drive. Evolving Media is the industry leader of mission-critical compliance. We will widen our ability to synergize without depreciating our capacity to e-enable. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. The obfuscation factor is reality-based. Without meticulously-planned experiences, C2C2C branding are forced to become distributed. What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7 branding management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating new turn-key eyeballs? We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough ASP. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 subscriber communities and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think out-of-the-box. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Java and XML. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of development. The technologies factor is best-of-breed. What does it really mean to upgrade "transparently"? The ability to visualize vertically leads to the capacity to whiteboard iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. The ability to evolve robustly leads to the capacity to innovate wirelessly. Think e-business. Think out-of-the-box. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned relationships, convergence reports are forced to become B2B2C. Evolving Media practically invented the term "mega-iteration supervising". We realize that it is better to morph robustly than to generate globally. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will morph the standard industry standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "proactive". A company that can syndicate correctly will (eventually) be able to drive easily. It may seem wonderful, but it's accurate! Think co-branded. Think one-to-one. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the buzzword "real-time". We will add to our capacity to streamline without depreciating our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? We understand that if you transition vertically then you may also target intra-proactively.