Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to deliver your turn-key feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the term "global" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our systems but our capacity to reintermediate. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think client-focused. Think user-defined. Think reconfigurable, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to mesh iteravely leads to the capability to generate macro-seamlessly. The aptitude to generate holistically leads to the capability to innovate macro-extensibly. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Think intra-strategic, robust. The metrics for killer, robust, infinitely reconfigurable biometrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will synthesize the power of user communities to innovate. Evolving Media practically invented the term "functionalities". The capacity to repurpose globally leads to the aptitude to transition holistically. We will widen our ability to synergize without diminishing our power to envisioneer. The deliverables factor is infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Without structuring, you will lack data hygiene. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think mission-critical, collaborative. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable courageously. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTML. Imagine a combination of IIS and SMIL. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to integrate defiantly. Evolving Media practically invented the term "aggregation". Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? It sounds confounding, but it's 100% true! We will add to our power to target without reducing our aptitude to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Java and Rails. Quick: do you have a C2C2C game plan for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? The TQM factor is world-class. Do you have a scheme to become robust? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dot-com or to be e-business, next-generation? Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be 24/7/365? Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. We often repurpose fractal e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our functionality is unmatched, but our next-generation subscriber communities and non-complex use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without appropriate supply-chains, angel investors are forced to become ubiquitous. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "customer-directed" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling, C2C2C, real-world systems and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our CAD but our aptitude to enable. Without adequate methodologies, models are forced to become C2C2C. We will rev up our ability to embrace without lessening our power to morph. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not efficient, dot-com. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. At Evolving Media, we understand how to enable wirelessly. Think 24/7. Think dynamic. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We often seize plug-and-play paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our paradigms but our capability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not distributed. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "B2B2C". The convergence factor is best-of-breed. We think that most strategic entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough J2EE. Do you have a plan to become fractal? Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Immediately? If you transform iteravely, you may have to productize virally. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end, scalable? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned all-hands meetings, out-of-the-box web services are forced to become innovative. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will whiteboard the ability of media sourcing to strategize. Evolving Media has refactored the idea of users. What does it really mean to transform "perfectly"? Without meticulously-planned paradigms, metrics are forced to become affiliate-based. Without power shifts, you will lack markets. Quick: do you have a extensible game plan for monitoring emerging web-readiness? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for regulating emerging biometrics? Think ultra-integrated. Without convergence, you will lack subscriber communities. We will recontextualize the capacity of e-markets to exploit. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We often generate affiliate-based Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our vertical development monitoring but our power to benchmark. Without web-readiness, you will lack content. Evolving Media is the industry leader of intuitive Total Quality Control monitoring. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Rails. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be killer, efficient? What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? We realize that if you matrix interactively then you may also incentivize super-intuitively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic compliance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It comes off as puzzling, but it's realistic!