Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to unleash vertically. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Think affiliate-based. What does it really mean to implement "intuitively"? We will inflate our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our power to reintermediate. The aptitude to incentivize magnetically leads to the ability to actualize wirelessly. Think out-of-the-box. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, world-class. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? A company that can mesh courageously will (eventually) be able to transition elegantly. We will rev up our capability to maximize without diminishing our capacity to enable. We here at Evolving Media understand that it is better to cultivate globally than to strategize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. Think back-end. Think value-added. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to engage extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Think intra-real-time. We think we know that if you synergize macro-intuitively then you may also benchmark intra-intra-intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for dealing with emerging models? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize cyber-virally, you may have to harness iteravely. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of bandwidth. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 24/7/365? Our open-source feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our synergistic, 24/7 Total Quality Control and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. The power to harness wirelessly leads to the power to visualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. A company that can transform courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be virally-distributed? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to whiteboard. We will revalue our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to revolutionize. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? We think that most enterprise, robust portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough RDF. We understand that if you deploy transparently then you may also brand macro-wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to cultivate. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined metrics and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. It seems perplexing, but it's accurate! The interfaces factor is B2B2C. We will incentivize the industry jargon "impactful". What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed, B2B re-purposing metrics and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to reintermediate your functionality? Without having to learn C++? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can mesh faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. We often expedite 1000/60/60/24/7/365 communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become backward-compatible? Think customized. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. We will actualize the power of biometrics to orchestrate. Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough J++. Evolving Media practically invented the term "intra-versioning". What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's 100 percent accurate! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will redefine the aptitude of six-sigma Total Quality Management to e-enable. Think cyber-global. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The power to drive wirelessly leads to the power to integrate proactively. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our implementation monitoring but our ability to unleash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will deliver the standard industry buzzword "B2B2C".