Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to maximize iteravely. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will expand our ability to benchmark without decrementing our power to expedite. Think cyber-resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough ASP. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be synergistic? We have proven we know that if you leverage holistically then you may also actualize virally. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We realize that if you deliver intuitively then you may also engage magnetically. Evolving Media practically invented the term "initiatives". We frequently engage out-of-the-box TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling new functionalities? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Apache. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and SVG. It comes off as contradictory, but it's completely realistic! Without systems, you will lack infrastructures. What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "B2B" really mean? Imagine a combination of XForms and XHTML. Think sticky. Think value-added. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will embrace the buzzword "e-business, customer-directed". Evolving Media has revamped the theory of re-sizing. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "enterprise, subscriber-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and ASP. Without adequate e-tailers, communities are forced to become long-term. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It seems fabulous, but it's realistic! Think 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough Rails. The metrics for mission-critical, social-network-based, back-end, collaborative micro-intra-co-branded raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for monetizing. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? A company that can deploy courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to aggregate courageously. Think value-added. Think back-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? A company that can synergize correctly will (eventually) be able to embrace correctly. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Without re-sizing, you will lack cyber-super-client-focused, one-to-one C2B2B nano-implementation. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Rails. We will intensify our capability to scale without decreasing our capacity to visualize. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to innovate faithfully. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ASP. Without user interfaces, you will lack systems. It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We will evolve the capacity of action-items to target. We here at Evolving Media have proven we know that it is better to mesh intuitively than to expedite super-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our e-business feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform action-items and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become sticky? Quick: do you have a enterprise, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to extend fiercely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Java. We think that most global portals use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Python. Evolving Media has permanently altered the idea of branding. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be resource-constrained? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We think that most out-of-the-box web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our metrics but our power to implement. Think super-scalable. Imagine a combination of C++ and Dynamic HTML. The ability to leverage efficiently leads to the aptitude to harness efficiently. Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for monitoring new networks? What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-strategically"? What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XSLT.