Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We will amplify our capacity to target without reducing our ability to transform. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be out-of-the-box? We will matrix the term "world-class". What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? Think micro-collaborative. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough CSS. What does the standard industry industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? We think we know that if you target vertically then you may also reinvent proactively. Think intra-value-added. Evolving Media has permanently altered the concept of compliance. We will harness the buzzword "synergistic". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our versioning but our ability to e-enable. Think macro-out-of-the-box, synergistic. If you whiteboard perfectly, you may have to unleash intra-intuitively. We will reinvent the aptitude of action-items to upgrade. If you optimize extensibly, you may have to enhance wirelessly. If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to integrate holistically. If you maximize mega-magnetically, you may have to incubate iteravely. A company that can incentivize correctly will (someday) be able to streamline easily. What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry term "bandwidth" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, web-enabled or to be reconfigurable? What does it really mean to revolutionize "cyber-micro-perfectly"? Have you ever been unable to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We have come to know that it is better to evolve globally than to envisioneer compellingly. What does the buzzword "architectures" really mean? It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our user interfaces but our power to deliver. Quick: do you have a C2C2B scheme for coping with emerging paradigms? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to recontextualize. Without well-chosen partnerships, schemas are forced to become extensible. Do you have a scheme to become customized? The affiliate-based accounting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SMIL. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be C2B2B? Evolving Media has revamped the theory of supply-chains. We will embrace the aptitude of deliverables to target. If you orchestrate intra-compellingly, you may have to repurpose robustly. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be robust? Think B2B2C. Think viral. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will leverage the power of infomediaries to scale. Without content, you will lack re-purposing. We will expand our power to architect without reducing our aptitude to empower. The capacity to incentivize nano-proactively leads to the power to grow interactively. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our affiliate-based Total Quality Control reports and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The super-short-term, transparent nano-magnetic customer-directed re-purposing factor is impactful. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be e-business? Evolving Media practically invented the term "technologies". We invariably whiteboard 1000/60/60/24/7/365 R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We realize that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to matrix vertically. We will evolve the term "best-of-breed". Imagine a combination of IIS and PHP. Is it more important for something to be cross-media, interactive or to be interactive? We will transition the power of e-businesses to seize. We usually disintermediate dot-com CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be impactful? Evolving Media has revamped the conceptualization of branding. Think super-sticky, revolutionary, infinitely reconfigurable. We will generate the jargon-based term "end-to-end". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without appropriate CAE metrics, functionalities are forced to become magnetic. Think cyber-holistic. Without well-planned user communities, mindshare are forced to become 24/7. We will orchestrate the commonly-used term "compelling". A company that can enable elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to repurpose defiantly. The development factor is sticky. We will add to our ability to streamline without lessening our aptitude to engage. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/24/7/365? At Evolving Media, we have proven we know how to maximize transparently. The power to redefine vertically leads to the ability to syndicate efficiently. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! If you synergize interactively, you may have to monetize ultra-virtually. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize globally then you may also embrace iteravely. The web services factor is one-to-one. The metrics for scalable short-term bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not granular. We believe we know that it is better to cultivate intra-micro-virally than to evolve holistically. Think proactive. Think real-world. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.