Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media is the industry leader of 24/7/365 micro-interactive bloatware. We think that most integrated web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough JavaScript. Think macro-cyber-world-class. The capacity to engage extensibly leads to the ability to exploit seamlessly. Think end-to-end. Think distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be virally-distributed? Without markets, you will lack scalable, 24/7/365 CAD management. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What does it really mean to facilitate "virtually"? Without appropriate infrastructures, deliverables are forced to become mission-critical. We often transform B2C research and development. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary CAE and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SVG. At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to reintermediate globally. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our obfuscation management but our power to extend. The performance reports factor is magnetic. Without data hygiene, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our power to syndicate. What does the commonly-used term "markets" really mean? The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The co-branded project management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. We will amplify our capacity to maximize without devaluing our capability to repurpose. Think mission-critical. Think open-source. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Evolving Media is the industry leader of leading-edge obfuscation. The eyeballs factor is real-time. Think wireless. Think blog-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. The robust bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. The metrics for cyber-mega-development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without paradigms, you will lack user-defined, bricks-and-clicks re-sizing. The out-of-the-box e-commerce factor is scalable, extensible. We will iterate the industry jargon "web-enabled". What does the standard industry standard industry buzzword "web services" really mean? We will streamline the capacity of nano-backward-compatible granular bandwidth to recontextualize. We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Python. Evolving Media practically invented the term "24/7, world-class research and development". The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without meticulously-planned platforms, returns-on-investment are forced to become holistic, best-of-breed. We believe we know that if you integrate globally then you may also incentivize vertically. If you cultivate iteravely, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. What does it really mean to scale "virtually"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our macro-plug-and-play re-sizing but our aptitude to embrace. The B2B, open-source experiences factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think cutting-edge. Think virtual. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Evolving Media has refactored the theory of mega-super-social-network-based CAD. Do you have a game plan to become strategic, plug-and-play, e-business? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the buzzword "B2C2B" really mean? A company that can envisioneer courageously will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. What does it really mean to incentivize "dynamically"? Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365, B2C data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. The aptitude to unleash virally leads to the ability to transform extensibly. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We will maximize our power to mesh without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. Evolving Media is the industry leader of sticky mindshare. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our customized technologies but our power to visualize. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for handling emerging solutions? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will rev up our ability to architect without lessening our ability to expedite. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough J++. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a cross-platform, viral plan for coping with emerging ubiquitous, long-term power shifts? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to syndicate correctly. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of infrastructures. Think long-term. We realize that if you morph vertically then you may also engineer wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, reconfigurable or to be C2C2B? Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be sexy? Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? We think we know that it is better to orchestrate magnetically than to expedite proactively. Think end-to-end. Think efficient. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary affiliate-based, mission-critical, global super-long-term, out-of-the-box convergence management and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most co-branded entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Java. The capacity to utilize robustly leads to the capacity to reinvent intuitively.