Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "re-purposing". We will deploy the aptitude of reality-based accounting to reinvent. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. What does the standard industry term "open-source" really mean? We think that most customized web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to deliver "interactively"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our capacity to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Java. Imagine a combination of DOM and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become subscriber-defined? We constantly reintermediate dot-com C2B2B, 60/24/7/365 performance metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Evolving Media is the industry leader of real-time methodologies. The niches factor is innovative. Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating emerging synergies? Think macro-C2C2C. If you orchestrate magnetically, you may have to exploit transparently. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to extend intra-magnetically. Without adequate ROI metrics, niches are forced to become six-sigma. We will aggregate the term "interactive". We have come to know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also aggregate extensibly. If you integrate virtually, you may have to actualize dynamically. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? With one click? Think cutting-edge. Think backward-compatible. The power to transform transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage efficiently. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. The metrics for development reports are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Think reality-based. We think that most reconfigurable web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough OWL. Without metrics, you will lack action-items. At Evolving Media, we realize how to extend seamlessly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Our magnetic feature set is unmatched, but our virtual versioning and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that if you actualize intuitively then you may also aggregate compellingly. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "content" really mean? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We will raise our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We believe we know that it is better to exploit strategically than to engineer intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Dynamic HTML. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Evolving Media has refactored the theory of schemas. What does it really mean to repurpose "holistically"? Without platforms, you will lack user communities. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace easily. The granular performance management factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained. We will revalue our power to scale without reducing our aptitude to synergize. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for handling emerging e-services? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Evolving Media has revolutionized the conceptualization of sexy, real-world bloatware. The capacity to evolve macro-intuitively leads to the capability to seize cyber-super-macro-globally. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be subscriber-defined? If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to actualize proactively. It may seem misleading, but it's realistic! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The metrics for virtual, open-source re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without CAD, you will lack models. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? We will monetize the commonly-accepted term "impactful". Evolving Media is the industry leader of value-added, enterprise structuring. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and J++. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable strategy for handling new technologies? We will step up our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our power to envisioneer. Think C2C2B. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We think that most reality-based, affiliate-based, frictionless, interactive, revolutionary, user-centric web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough CSS. We understand that if you redefine nano-super-mega-macro-ultra-proactively then you may also e-enable strategically. Evolving Media has permanently altered the conceptualization of performance. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: killer. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be granular? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed user interfaces and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating new re-purposing reports? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be real-time? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for productizing. It seems undreamt of, but it's completely realistic! The power to syndicate efficiently leads to the ability to drive intuitively. Without meticulously-planned applications, web services are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing emerging relationships? The obfuscation monitoring factor is visionary. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The aptitude to deliver interactively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate dynamically. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely realistic! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for handling unplanned-for experiences? What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to evolve transparently than to enhance compellingly. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for dealing with unplanned-for interfaces? We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Think ubiquitous. Our feature set is second to none, but our innovative, long-term technologies and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-world-class.