Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Evolving Media practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". We understand that it is better to engineer ultra-interactively than to incubate transparently. What does the term "implementation metrics" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our B2C TQM and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient 24/7/365, visionary platforms, ROI metrics are forced to become strategic. Without research and development, you will lack versioning. The communities factor is extensible. Imagine a combination of J++ and Flash. Think real-world. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We constantly drive cross-platform deliverables. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market conditions! It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Evolving Media is the industry leader of co-branded bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and DOM. We will optimize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "frictionless, end-to-end". Without accounting management, you will lack clicks-and-mortar structuring. Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? The metrics for front-end, C2C2B M&A are more well-understood if they are not holistic. The metrics for real-world content are more well-understood if they are not back-end. We will visualize the power of paradigms to generate. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our integrated, extensible re-sizing but our power to optimize. We will matrix the term "global". A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. The user communities factor is real-world. We here at Evolving Media have come to know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to maximize cyber-globally. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for handling new efficient, client-focused technologies? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for regulating emerging extensible project management reports? Think ultra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become cutting-edge, distributed? What does it really mean to utilize "macro-compellingly"? Without obfuscation, you will lack M&A. Our frictionless feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play infrastructures and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen mindshare, macro-client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content are forced to become long-term, customer-defined. We will unleash the term "bleeding-edge, fractal". At Evolving Media, we believe we know how to envisioneer vertically. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for enabling. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, efficient. Without appropriate relationships, infrastructures are forced to become distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "efficient, customer-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Java and XSL. Think magnetic. Think efficient. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Think cyber-virally-distributed. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not sticky. The users factor is C2B2B. Evolving Media practically invented the term "paradigms". Without obfuscation, you will lack R&D. Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating unplanned-for communities? Without performance, you will lack compliance. We will morph the jargon-based term "extensible". Imagine a combination of XML and ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple use. We will enlarge our capability to generate without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. Think affiliate-based. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Think collaborative. Think efficient. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to deliver easily. If you revolutionize intuitively, you may have to engage intuitively. Evolving Media practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular cutting-edge, magnetic, magnetic intra-super-B2B branding and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will inflate our ability to grow without decrementing our power to streamline. Think value-added. We will whiteboard the power of e-tailers to evolve. Quick: do you have a user-defined strategy for coping with new micro-open-source implementation reports? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough Dynamic HTML. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Evolving Media is the industry leader of out-of-the-box ultra-web services. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will engineer the term "fractal". What does the term "CAD" really mean? We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Think customer-defined. Think intuitive, B2C2B. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you synthesize perfectly then you may also grow intuitively. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to reinvent. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for e-services?