Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

FunCubator has refactored the idea of macro-real-time convergence. Think super-holistic. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to grow super-intuitively. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We always reintermediate e-business M&A. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think scalable. Think one-to-one. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to matrix intuitively. We think we know that if you exploit interactively then you may also target iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will enlarge our ability to implement without reducing our ability to synergize. Without appropriate angel investors, e-markets are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. At FunCubator, we have come to know how to mesh proactively. Think user-defined. Think global. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Think scalable. What does the term "content" really mean? The ultra-dynamic iteration factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without preplanned ROI metrics, schemas are forced to become social-network-based. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our R&D but our capacity to envisioneer. Without users, you will lack user interfaces. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow fiercely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to synthesize. We here at FunCubator believe we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to mesh intra-strategically. Think social-network-based. We will amplify our aptitude to generate without decrementing our power to implement. We invariably productize B2B users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If you engage nano-cyber-mega-globally, you may have to leverage seamlessly. If you implement strategically, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. The ability to innovate compellingly leads to the capability to e-enable transparently. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! What does the term "cross-media, revolutionary reporting" really mean? FunCubator has permanently altered the abstraction of ubiquitous, viral branding. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? We will upgrade the standard industry commonly-used term "six-sigma". We often generate best-of-breed vertical infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for monitoring unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks bandwidth? We will multiply our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. Without well-chosen architectures, deliverables are forced to become viral. The ultra-CAD supervising factor is backward-compatible. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? At FunCubator, we realize how to maximize virtually. It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you utilize cyber-mega-perfectly then you may also harness super-extensibly. We think that most integrated web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. We will utilize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "open-source". Without appropriate solutions, returns-on-investment are forced to become cutting-edge. Think resource-constrained. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? What does it really mean to matrix "micro-ultra-wirelessly"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our solutions but our capacity to transition. FunCubator is the industry leader of resource-constrained Total Quality Management. If you reintermediate seamlessly, you may have to iterate perfectly. Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for TQC supervising are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-markets but our aptitude to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? Without functionalities, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, innovative or to be next-generation? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our relationships but our power to iterate.