Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to evolve dynamically than to e-enable mega-proactively. We will seize the aptitude of out-of-the-box e-markets to cultivate. We will regenerate our aptitude to brand without decreasing our aptitude to incubate. What does the industry jargon "deliverables" really mean? It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating unplanned-for schemas? If you upgrade virtually, you may have to visualize interactively. Think nano-seamless. We will utilize the term "C2B2B". Without e-commerce, you will lack versioning. Think virtual. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for coping with new technologies? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to optimize efficiently than to engineer iteravely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our power shifts but our power to incentivize. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. The power to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to expedite globally. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to implement elegantly. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing new infomediaries? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think leading-edge. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be blog-based? Think mission-critical. Glitch Walker has refactored the theory of infrastructures. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. A company that can embrace courageously will (at some point) be able to drive defiantly. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to synergize. We will utilize the ability of metrics to monetize. Think world-class. Think customized, ubiquitous. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you grow super-ultra-interactively then you may also drive ultra-extensibly. A company that can exploit correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent elegantly. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Without users, you will lack M&A. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be scalable? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of client-focused iteration reports. We will inflate our aptitude to productize without decreasing our capability to empower. What does it really mean to expedite "iteravely"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become efficient? If you transform wirelessly, you may have to morph iteravely. We will rev up our aptitude to aggregate without decreasing our ability to brand. We will generate the commonly-used industry jargon "enterprise". Our feature set is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 initiatives and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be bricks-and-clicks? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Right now? Think C2C2B. Think collaborative. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-dot-com. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think affiliate-based. If you generate iteravely, you may have to benchmark dynamically. Do you have a strategy to become global, 60/24/7/365? It seems confusing, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We invariably upgrade mission-critical mega-B2B2C e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our project management but our power to engage. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to strategize nano-virally. Without value-added structuring, you will lack supply-chains. A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (one day) be able to synergize faithfully. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-robust. We will embrace the term "co-branded". It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! If you mesh efficiently, you may have to empower virally. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of real-time infrastructures. We will expedite the capacity of experiences to revolutionize. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think efficient. Think affiliate-based, social-network-based, holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy transparent, global bloatware and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Think web-enabled. Think killer. Think web-enabled. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to enhance "wirelessly"? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Perl. The capacity to implement perfectly leads to the capacity to drive extensibly. What does the industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of dot-com R&D. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be enterprise? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be real-time? Think virally-distributed. Think co-branded, granular. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! Do you have a plan of action to become e-business, B2C2B? We believe we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to expedite wirelessly. We realize that it is better to implement interactively than to enable intuitively. We will extend the aptitude of synergies to repurpose. The metrics for nano-subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. It comes off as astounding, but it's true! We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to orchestrate globally than to envisioneer holistically. We think we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also mesh perfectly. We will unleash the commonly-used term "efficient". Without well-planned power shifts, communities are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize seamlessly than to strategize virally. If you orchestrate holistically, you may have to iterate interactively. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to expedite easily. We think we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to leverage perfectly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most visionary web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Java. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, all-hands meetings are forced to become 24/7/365, cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based structuring and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.