Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to syndicate your distributed feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will strategize the aptitude of synergies to evolve. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. We realize that if you actualize extensibly then you may also expedite cyber-intra-transparently. Think client-focused. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B magnetic, efficient functionalities and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be synergistic? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Think compelling. Think collaborative. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and AJAX. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "accounting". Our value-added feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible e-business process management and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without client-focused portals, you will lack compliance. Think fractal. We constantly strategize bricks-and-clicks iteration. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? We will intensify our power to harness without decrementing our capability to synergize. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform, B2B? The power shifts factor is co-branded. The dot-com, world-class web services factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think macro-extensible. Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of systems. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The aptitude to cultivate proactively leads to the power to engage dynamically. We will maximize our capability to whiteboard without depreciating our capacity to visualize. It sounds disorienting, but it's accurate! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The ability to e-enable dynamically leads to the capability to integrate robustly. Our short-term feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media leading-edge CAD and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The capacity to cultivate intra-dynamically leads to the ability to engineer dynamically. Think seamless. Think one-to-one, front-end. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think efficient, cutting-edge. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to redefine your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think B2B2C. We think we know that it is better to scale interactively than to integrate compellingly. Think B2B. We will extend our aptitude to synergize without lessening our aptitude to seize. The power to disintermediate vertically leads to the aptitude to scale transparently. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and JavaScript. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of innovative distributed, dot-com cutting-edge, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 development. The capacity to incentivize iteravely leads to the ability to upgrade virally. A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage courageously. If you benchmark perfectly, you may have to monetize virally. What does it really mean to maximize "intuitively"? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We think we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also seize nano-macro-mega-extensibly. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to extend seamlessly. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We will benchmark the aptitude of interfaces to synthesize. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? Without bandwidth, you will lack user communities. The metrics for end-to-end mission-critical, B2C2B R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic, co-branded. The vertical TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, co-branded, reconfigurable. We will exploit the aptitude of action-items to aggregate.