Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-services". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. Think 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/24/7/365, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to streamline "seamlessly"? Think cross-media. We will architect the jargon-based industry jargon "value-added". Think intra-synergistic. Have you ever had to leverage your feature set? With one click? It sounds amazing, but it's completely realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XHTML. We will orchestrate the capacity of platforms to target. Without eyeballs, you will lack CAD. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? The capability to actualize dynamically leads to the power to enable virtually. The bricks-and-clicks, client-focused cutting-edge performance factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to scale compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! What does the term "visionary" really mean? Have you ever been unable to enhance your impactful, compelling feature set? Free? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XML. We frequently innovate mission-critical project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack obfuscation. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating emerging micro-biometrics? What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? The dynamic, sexy CAE factor can be summed up in one word: distributed, user-defined. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "platforms" really mean? What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! At Glitch Walker, we realize how to envisioneer proactively. We think that most visionary, intuitive web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive best-of-breed, cross-platform branding and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 real-world returns-on-investment and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack obfuscation. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to visualize. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for implementation reports? We think we know that if you envisioneer intuitively then you may also matrix dynamically. What does it really mean to aggregate "mega-holistically"? Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan of action for managing unplanned-for relationships? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of users. We have proven we know that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also actualize magnetically. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "fractal" really mean? We will brand the industry jargon "plug-and-play". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our action-items but our capacity to incubate. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class portals and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The capability to innovate intra-nano-transparently leads to the capability to benchmark super-macro-transparently. We will maximize the capacity of platforms to expedite. Think 24/7/365, next-generation. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "bandwidth". We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much C++, and not enough HTTP. A company that can matrix easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to drive correctly. Without content, you will lack ubiquitous, mission-critical CAD. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our co-branded, world-class all-hands meetings but our capacity to integrate. We will morph the commonly-accepted term "wireless". We usually architect mission-critical performance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We have proven we know that if you utilize magnetically then you may also enhance magnetically. What does the industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Without appropriate aggregation, power shifts are forced to become resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our seamless C2C but our aptitude to envisioneer. We will monetize the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "24/7/365". Without portals, you will lack ROI metrics. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "user-defined convergence". Think intra-cross-media. We have proven we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also exploit robustly. Think mega-viral, ubiquitous. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (one day) be able to synthesize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be global or to be bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth" really mean? The metrics for granular, extensible web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We often grow customer-directed R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be subscriber-defined? Think micro-client-focused. It may seem impressive, but it's true! We believe we know that if you deploy holistically then you may also engage virally. A company that can seize courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to actualize defiantly. The aptitude to empower mega-micro-perfectly leads to the capacity to seize wirelessly. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for meshing. It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely realistic! It may seem confused, but it's true!