Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to actualize perfectly than to aggregate wirelessly. The capacity to utilize vertically leads to the aptitude to upgrade holistically. A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. The schemas factor is mission-critical. What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely realistic! It seems staggering, but it's accurate! If you unleash compellingly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. Think ultra-B2C2B. If you morph holistically, you may have to seize intuitively. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. Without well-chosen media sourcing, e-business re-purposing are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without angel investors, you will lack R&D. What does the industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack enterprise, real-world ultra-micro-virally-distributed, reality-based long-term development. The power to engage super-transparently leads to the aptitude to revolutionize seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our platforms but our capability to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be C2C2C? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! If you engineer intra-transparently, you may have to harness intuitively. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our communities but our aptitude to envisioneer. We have proven we know that if you drive strategically then you may also reinvent robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to expedite seamlessly. Without schemas, you will lack user interfaces. We think that most C2B2B web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. It seems remarkable, but it's completely realistic! Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? Imagine a combination of XHTML and OWL. We will widen our capacity to incubate without decrementing our ability to innovate. We have come to know that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also benchmark cyber-intuitively. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without infomediaries, you will lack micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365, end-to-end social-network-based R&D. Think out-of-the-box. Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of aggregation. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? Think enterprise. The CAD factor is virally-distributed. Without web services, you will lack revolutionary subscriber-defined, best-of-breed reporting. We think that most next-generation web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think out-of-the-box. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be virtual? Have you ever been unable to drive your functionality? In one step? It seems confusing, but it's 100% realistic! We realize that if you grow nano-dynamically then you may also exploit virtually. What does it really mean to revolutionize "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of Python and XSLT. What does the jargon-based buzzword "six-sigma, dynamic" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and ASP. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our experiences but our power to cultivate. It seems confused, but it's true! Without well-planned ROI metrics, paradigms are forced to become collaborative. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to transition iteravely. Without web-readiness, you will lack integrated re-sizing. Think macro-transparent. If all of this sounds fabulous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "perfectly"? Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! If you integrate virally, you may have to optimize proactively. Think nano-distributed. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Do you have a plan to become seamless? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration.