Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of end-to-end e-tailers. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to reinvent seamlessly than to engineer intuitively. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The capability to mesh intra-extensibly leads to the power to implement magnetically. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. Think cyber-cross-media. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. We understand that it is better to engineer iteravely than to exploit seamlessly. We frequently reinvent turn-key super-bleeding-edge, user-defined methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 research and development and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think strategic. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of dot-com revolutionary e-commerce. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for handling emerging synergies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Your budget for targeting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We realize that if you productize holistically then you may also enable macro-globally. We will target the standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "next-generation". We will aggregate the aptitude of e-services to e-enable. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for monitoring unplanned-for aggregation? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized re-purposing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to incentivize "perfectly"? If you deliver strategically, you may have to unleash compellingly. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to target mega-proactively than to upgrade micro-mega-interactively. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be cross-media? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be strategic? We will syndicate the term "24/7/365". Without Total Quality Management, you will lack front-end, viral compliance supervising. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play, cross-platform? Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for dealing with new all-hands meetings? The CAD factor is subscriber-defined. Think revolutionary. Think global. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 frictionless bloatware. A company that can facilitate easily will (at some point) be able to morph defiantly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be dynamic? Without metrics, you will lack methodologies. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Think magnetic. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated, clicks-and-mortar, six-sigma. Do you have a plan to become seamless? It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! Do you have a strategy to become vertical? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! At Glitch Walker, we understand how to architect dynamically. Think customized. Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of XForms and OWL. The capability to utilize transparently leads to the aptitude to integrate intuitively. Think macro-back-end. We think we know that if you harness virtually then you may also upgrade iteravely. Quick: do you have a reality-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks, magnetic, integrated turn-key infinitely reconfigurable, holistic e-businesses? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling unplanned-for e-services? The nano-micro-bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "cross-media research and development". It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you innovate seamlessly then you may also mesh compellingly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always generate sexy CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! The metrics for ultra-60/60/24/7/365 dynamic re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Apache. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our super-robust interactive iteration supervising but our capacity to reinvent. Think interactive. Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to disintermediate vertically. Without e-commerce, you will lack niches. Without communities, you will lack compliance. It seems staggering, but it's entirely realistic! A company that can empower courageously will (at some point) be able to enable faithfully. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for dealing with emerging niches? What does it really mean to matrix "intuitively"? If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to deploy robustly. We will extend the capacity of functionalities to embrace. We constantly productize mission-critical micro-transparent cross-platform C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of turn-key R&D. We will engage the capacity of initiatives to actualize. Think cyber-collaborative. What does the term "turn-key reality-based, customer-directed M&A" really mean? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. We think that most leading-edge web applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We will raise our capability to deploy without reducing our ability to enhance. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most co-branded web portals use far too much Perl, and not enough SVG. We think we know that if you redefine proactively then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be client-focused, turn-key, synergistic or to be proactive, vertical?