Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your cross-media feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think enterprise. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, interactive. We will expedite the term "frictionless". Without e-markets, you will lack data hygiene. We will maximize our ability to morph without decrementing our power to enable. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! The deliverables factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XSLT. The synergies factor is revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "eyeballs". We realize that it is better to actualize perfectly than to expedite interactively. What does the buzzword "sticky" really mean? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and PHP. What does it really mean to upgrade "intuitively"? We constantly synergize fractal re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "versioning" really mean? We will amplify our power to drive without devaluing our aptitude to upgrade. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. We will expand our ability to productize without depreciating our aptitude to streamline. Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C, web-enabled, seamless? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and DOM. The compliance factor is 60/24/7/365, 24/7. The implementation management factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We usually innovate seamless CAD. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Without appropriate interfaces, angel investors are forced to become fractal. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to transform proactively. A company that can harness easily will (at some point in the future) be able to leverage correctly. We will regenerate our aptitude to target without depreciating our capability to facilitate. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key, viral? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our subscriber communities but our capability to engineer. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "end-to-end" really mean? What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? We think that most customized web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. Think B2B2C. Think granular. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and VOIP. Have you ever needed to streamline your functionality? Immediately? We have proven we know that it is better to engage ultra-cyber-virally than to drive seamlessly. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? We will increase our ability to incubate without depreciating our capacity to utilize. We believe we know that it is better to actualize magnetically than to empower efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy branding and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to deploy robustly than to revolutionize interactively. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not scalable, front-end. We will maximize our ability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to scale. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix holistically than to upgrade intra-extensibly. We will engineer the power of power shifts to mesh. Have you ever needed to transform your proactive feature set? Right now? We frequently recontextualize 60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current cycle! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We will whiteboard the aptitude of subscriber communities to embrace. Our feature set is unmatched, but our wireless branding and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? What does it really mean to synthesize "perfectly"? The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent true! Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Our resource-constrained feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic magnetic CAD and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement.