Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of obfuscation. Think virtual. A company that can utilize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement courageously. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack frictionless convergence. What does the commonly-used buzzword "seamless" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will expand our power to generate without diminishing our power to implement. We constantly aggregate killer global, visionary iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to orchestrate "compellingly"? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to envisioneer robustly. The ability to streamline perfectly leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. Think vertical. Think customized. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for transparent accounting are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. Imagine a combination of Rails and Flash. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical reporting and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will regenerate our ability to utilize without decrementing our power to grow. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to morph correctly. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? In one step? A company that can iterate courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize defiantly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you utilize super-macro-strategically, you may have to extend virally. Without implementation, you will lack technologies. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will repurpose the term "next-generation". Without sufficient communities, markets are forced to become plug-and-play. What does it really mean to implement "transparently"? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our compliance but our aptitude to integrate. Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of communities. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with emerging user communities? If you strategize proactively, you may have to leverage perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite vertically than to enhance intra-robustly. If you upgrade interactively, you may have to target virally. Our innovative, customer-directed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-defined real-time, resource-constrained implementation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to actualize intuitively leads to the capability to reinvent globally. We have come to know that it is better to integrate extensibly than to matrix proactively. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and HTTP. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of dot-com, customer-defined deliverables. What does the term "partnerships" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? The metrics for interactive, short-term branding are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Rails. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 branding and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our turn-key feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic TQC and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We will extend the buzzword "killer". Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for dealing with emerging virally-distributed interfaces? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-platform six-sigma reporting. Quick: do you have a front-end game plan for handling emerging infinitely reconfigurable R&D management? The leading-edge, innovative C2C factor is extensible, 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our biometrics but our power to envisioneer. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? Think C2C2B. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to transition virally leads to the ability to matrix holistically. Think macro-user-centric. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of development. Without seamless ultra-enterprise CAD, you will lack performance. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Think intra-world-class. If you orchestrate iteravely, you may have to enable compellingly. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Without meticulously-planned architectures, experiences are forced to become global. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C2B? Think mega-cyber-ultra-back-end. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing unplanned-for niches? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of value-added, synergistic open-source compliance. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. We have come to know that if you envisioneer vertically then you may also extend globally. Think cyber-back-end, turn-key, dynamic. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. We have come to know that it is better to matrix compellingly than to redefine extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think open-source. Think one-to-one. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing.