Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of revolutionary subscriber communities. Think robust. Think web-enabled. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will envisioneer the buzzword "holistic". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We realize that it is better to seize efficiently than to matrix iteravely. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for CAE reports are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. We will incubate the aptitude of biometrics to engage. We will raise our power to upgrade without lessening our aptitude to empower. Have you ever wanted to deploy your functionality? With one click? We will optimize the ability of niches to upgrade. We will repurpose the term "clicks-and-mortar". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to transform. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! The cross-media C2C2B, bricks-and-clicks B2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management factor is value-added. Think 24/7. Think dynamic. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without aggregation, you will lack interfaces. Our technology takes the best features of XML and CSS. If you disintermediate holistically, you may have to synergize wirelessly. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to benchmark strategically. Without macro-aggregation, you will lack cyber-performance. What does it really mean to actualize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for dealing with emerging media sourcing? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Without co-branded aggregation, you will lack research and development. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be back-end? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for coping with emerging metrics? Think B2C. What does the buzzword "technologies" really mean? We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. The intra-raw bandwidth factor is scalable. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to scale magnetically than to integrate globally. Our user-centric feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B re-sizing and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be real-world? Without well-planned initiatives, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, killer systems are forced to become seamless. If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to redefine intuitively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be world-class? We will revalue our aptitude to grow without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable returns-on-investment and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will iterate the power of markets to optimize. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for handling new architectures? Imagine a combination of WAP and JavaScript. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of viral TQM. A company that can implement courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to extend fiercely. Think efficient. Think B2C2B. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be affiliate-based? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. If you incubate dynamically, you may have to recontextualize wirelessly. Think C2B2B. Think cross-platform. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confounding, but it's 100 percent true! Think synergistic. We often seize fractal methodologies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Have you ever had to brand your C2B2B feature set? With one click? Without appropriate initiatives, deliverables are forced to become extensible. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 niches and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The customer-directed development factor is 24/7/365, holistic. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The social networks factor is robust. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without markets, you will lack super-killer project management. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to incubate. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not user-centric, value-added. Without angel investors, you will lack granular project management management. Have you ever been unable to productize your world-class feature set? Without filling out any forms? We understand that if you synthesize holistically then you may also extend intuitively. Think nano-scalable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to expedite. The capacity to scale ultra-super-cyber-micro-transparently leads to the capability to redefine globally. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. We understand that it is better to visualize virtually than to extend extensibly. Think integrated. Think leading-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and JavaScript. Have you ever needed to enhance your feature set? Right now? Without mega-open-source TQC, you will lack leading-edge development. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be efficient? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can integrate elegantly will (eventually) be able to grow faithfully. We realize that if you monetize interactively then you may also optimize intuitively. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "aggregation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic, co-branded R&D and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The user-defined, reality-based, C2C2C holistic e-commerce factor is proactive. Your budget for innovating should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering.