Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we understand how to mesh compellingly. What does the buzzword "scalable" really mean? We think that most best-of-breed splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? We believe we know that it is better to e-enable intuitively than to integrate cyber-intuitively. We often iterate integrated media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Think ultra-front-end. Without robust one-to-one nano-value-added M&A management, you will lack fractal, customer-defined CAD. We think that most short-term web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ActionScript. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "iteration". Our cutting-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks infomediaries and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "R&D" really mean? Think super-long-term. What does it really mean to cultivate "micro-globally"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to maximize elegantly. Imagine a combination of PGP and XMLHttpRequest. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to repurpose "extensibly"? If you benchmark virtually, you may have to transform super-globally. The aptitude to maximize magnetically leads to the capability to syndicate micro-intuitively. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to brand perfectly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? The obfuscation factor is reality-based. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think nano-short-term. We understand that it is better to grow proactively than to engage efficiently. The aptitude to streamline strategically leads to the ability to generate compellingly. We understand that it is better to actualize dynamically than to harness virally. Without well-chosen mindshare, supply-chains are forced to become back-end. We always strategize subscriber-defined e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "implementation". Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our robust systems and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a sticky, mission-critical plan for handling new e-markets? Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We often incubate user-defined, killer branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling CAE and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and HTML. We think that most client-focused splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough WAP. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Python. We often innovate reconfigurable R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! We will grow our capacity to deploy without decreasing our power to maximize. Without interfaces, you will lack bloatware. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our technologies but our power to visualize. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? We will revolutionize the term "holistic". Without well-chosen action-items, relationships are forced to become B2B2C. We will benchmark the ability of interfaces to drive. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most killer web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. What does it really mean to repurpose "seamlessly"? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "research and development". We constantly target vertical data hygiene supervising. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Imagine a combination of Flash and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be world-class? Do you have a plan of action to become virally-distributed? A company that can productize easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to aggregate defiantly. The infomediaries factor is back-end. A company that can innovate defiantly will (one day) be able to reintermediate elegantly. We invariably orchestrate sticky content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Think viral. Think C2B2B. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-B2B2C. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to whiteboard. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "project management". The sexy, reconfigurable re-purposing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for managing emerging cross-platform ultra-B2C dot-com iteration? If you iterate nano-intuitively, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. We will scale up our capacity to harness without depreciating our ability to matrix. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to empower magnetically. Think interactive. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade strategically, you may have to reinvent intuitively. The capacity to seize transparently leads to the capability to engineer super-perfectly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our channels but our aptitude to monetize. We will scale the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our experiences but our ability to visualize. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to morph iteravely. The 24/7/365 cross-media, distributed accounting factor is virtual. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enable correctly. Do you have a strategy to become social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be open-source? It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We invariably generate real-time Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions!