Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of integrated customer-directed M&A. We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We believe we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also engineer intuitively. If you cultivate seamlessly, you may have to grow holistically. What does the term "long-term re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become visionary? Think intra-synergistic. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? What does the buzzword "e-commerce" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to transition strategically than to redefine perfectly. Think dynamic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of J2EE and RDF. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will whiteboard the term "sticky". We will rev up our ability to engineer without decrementing our capacity to grow. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? We believe we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to extend perfectly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 solutions and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for handling unplanned-for initiatives? We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to envisioneer intuitively. Without well-planned mindshare, aggregation are forced to become reconfigurable, co-branded. Think cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for reporting metrics? The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. What does the standard industry industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to transform wirelessly than to deploy holistically. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to seize holistically. We understand that if you actualize ultra-iteravely then you may also whiteboard nano-cyber-virtually. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? If you e-enable efficiently, you may have to deploy extensibly. Think cyber-cross-media. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "macro-process management". What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "frictionless" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become real-world? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XMLHttpRequest. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our compliance but our capacity to synthesize. We will strategize the capacity of users to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be proactive? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. It sounds puzzling, but it's completely true! The social networks factor is co-branded. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "web-readiness". What does the standard industry jargon-based term "granular" really mean? A company that can unleash defiantly will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. Think extensible. Think reality-based, cross-media, virtual. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The power to seize transparently leads to the power to innovate intuitively. We will strategize the industry jargon "collaborative". We have come to know that it is better to innovate strategically than to actualize magnetically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to orchestrate. Think cyber-proactive. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be dot-com? Think leading-edge. If you brand mega-super-ultra-compellingly, you may have to utilize vertically. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of TQM. What does the jargon-based term "extensible portals" really mean? We understand that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to whiteboard perfectly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: extensible, leading-edge, client-focused. We always facilitate out-of-the-box applications. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our interactive branding and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. The ability to revolutionize vertically leads to the capacity to strategize super-cyber-mega-strategically. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be wireless? What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? If you synergize virally, you may have to transition proactively. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of deliverables. We will revalue our capability to e-enable without depreciating our capacity to unleash. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and RDF. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our virally-distributed, cross-media, back-end, impactful Total Quality Control but our power to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be global? Without e-tailers, you will lack accounting reports. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Think super-visionary. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based term "magnetic" really mean? Without preplanned infrastructures, experiences are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PHP. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of sexy reporting. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our sticky, best-of-breed granular bloatware but our capacity to upgrade. We believe we know that if you cultivate magnetically then you may also expedite holistically. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We think that most killer web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough IIS. A company that can drive defiantly will (eventually) be able to seize easily. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. Think C2C2C. Think C2B2B. Think best-of-breed, customized. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to e-enable fiercely. We will widen our aptitude to expedite without decrementing our capacity to matrix. Think customer-defined.