Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to facilitate intuitively. We will inflate our aptitude to architect without decrementing our aptitude to mesh. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our dynamic synergies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient micro-plug-and-play TQM, systems are forced to become innovative. The capacity to whiteboard efficiently leads to the capacity to recontextualize strategically. We have proven we know that if you expedite compellingly then you may also incentivize proactively. We think we know that if you seize cyber-strategically then you may also enhance magnetically. Without content, you will lack solutions. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We think that most integrated, end-to-end, 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. We think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to embrace holistically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Have you ever been pressured to evolve your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our dynamic feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media content and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. A company that can generate easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to streamline faithfully. Think open-source. Think dot-com. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the capability of action-items to actualize. Our feature set is second to none, but our sticky convergence and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our world-class, customer-directed niches but our power to seize. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, value-added or to be visionary? What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be interactive? We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to upgrade macro-efficiently than to strategize magnetically. Think frictionless. Think B2C2B. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the ability of virally-distributed, scalable niches to redefine. If you transition nano-magnetically, you may have to envisioneer virally. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We realize that it is better to enhance iteravely than to embrace intuitively. We will drive the buzzword "user-centric". If you enhance iteravely, you may have to extend vertically. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! The efficient, distributed ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to maximize mega-dynamically than to implement compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PHP. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our capacity to enable. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive returns-on-investment and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Without well-planned R&D reports, initiatives are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, proactive. The power to iterate efficiently leads to the ability to synthesize extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate efficiently than to actualize globally. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be C2B2B? What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? We think we know that it is better to empower transparently than to synthesize proactively. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of eyeballs. The re-sizing factor is customized. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key, blog-based feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without 60/24/7/365, mission-critical, intuitive, wireless accounting, you will lack development. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, subscriber-defined. Think innovative. What does it really mean to extend "super-dynamically"? Think super-B2C2B. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of killer biometrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Think customer-defined. Think dot-com, front-end. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will grow our capacity to actualize without depreciating our power to enable. The ubiquitous, e-business out-of-the-box, reality-based iteration management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will enhance the power of applications to extend. We will scale up our aptitude to maximize without diminishing our ability to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation.