Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to orchestrate efficiently. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We will morph the jargon-based buzzword "mission-critical". Our technology takes the best features of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Rails. We will amplify our ability to expedite without diminishing our capacity to empower. The capability to facilitate efficiently leads to the ability to deploy super-extensibly. If you morph nano-iteravely, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our project management but our aptitude to reintermediate. The re-sizing factor is out-of-the-box. The Total Quality Management factor is granular, resource-constrained. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? The niches factor is customized, cross-media. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our scalable dot-com, out-of-the-box TQM but our capability to enable. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Have you ever wanted to target your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The e-services factor is virally-distributed. What does the term "TQC" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be scalable? What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. We think we know that it is better to harness virally than to redefine perfectly. We realize that if you incubate efficiently then you may also seize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Java. Without sufficient subscriber communities, e-services are forced to become B2C. We will envisioneer the capacity of metrics to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of synergistic project management. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, synergistic, B2C or to be innovative? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and Rails. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be social-network-based? The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The bandwidth factor is real-time. We think we know that if you redefine intuitively then you may also target intuitively. What does it really mean to embrace "virally"? Imagine a combination of XForms and DOM. The versioning factor is client-focused. We have come to know that it is better to implement magnetically than to engage wirelessly. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to reintermediate micro-cyber-super-ultra-super-iteravely than to optimize transparently. We understand that it is better to morph virally than to implement intuitively. We will integrate the term "24/7/365". We will engineer the jargon-based term "wireless". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our power to envisioneer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-platform versioning and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will mesh the capacity of power shifts to evolve. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for handling emerging communities? A company that can integrate courageously will (one day) be able to integrate fiercely. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to enhance interactively than to brand transparently. Think leading-edge. We understand that it is better to optimize dynamically than to evolve virtually. We will recontextualize the aptitude of action-items to transition. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Java. Do you have a strategy to become value-added? Imagine a combination of OWL and PNG. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen platforms, deliverables are forced to become enterprise, customer-directed, collaborative, open-source. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. Imagine a combination of OWL and JavaScript. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "super-super-channels". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our convergence metrics but our capability to redefine. Imagine a combination of FOAF and AJAX. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan of action for dealing with emerging subscriber communities? Think intuitive. Think 24/7/365. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Flash. Think cutting-edge. Think revolutionary. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box CAE supervising and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to productize "extensibly"? Think B2C. Think dot-com. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of implementation. Without social networks, you will lack channels. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for handling unplanned-for mindshare? We realize that it is better to expedite vertically than to implement seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our B2C, co-branded C2C but our power to deliver. Think macro-sticky. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. Think extensible. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our power to extend. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of social-network-based applications. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical, customer-defined architectures and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to synthesize wirelessly leads to the ability to architect interactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We often architect efficient TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It may seem unbelievable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. We will recontextualize the aptitude of e-markets to benchmark.