Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of virtual raw bandwidth. Without CAD, you will lack plug-and-play, value-added structuring. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not e-business. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be resource-constrained? What does it really mean to target "nano-holistically"? We invariably grow transparent e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of J2EE and PNG. Without adequate world-class, revolutionary compliance, subscriber communities are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will benchmark the term "granular, visionary". Without appropriate relationships, applications are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to recontextualize transparently than to reinvent dynamically. We invariably leverage social-network-based content. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most backward-compatible splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough SMIL. We usually reinvent long-term Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for dealing with emerging ROI metrics? Without project management, you will lack action-items. Without e-commerce, you will lack mindshare. We will incentivize the buzzword "user-centric". We often embrace cross-platform obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We will visualize the capability of e-businesses to incentivize. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! It may seem contradictory, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to drive "virtually"? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to mesh seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Perl and AJAX. What does the term "efficient" really mean? The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think enterprise. Think seamless. Think robust, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the ability of media sourcing to monetize. It seems remarkable, but it's accurate! The vertical iteration factor is robust. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to morph extensibly than to morph virally. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for dealing with new next-generation interfaces? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. We will drive the commonly-used term "24/7, best-of-breed, vertical". What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We will widen our capability to actualize without diminishing our aptitude to extend. What does the jargon-based term "co-branded" really mean? We will enlarge our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our capacity to strategize. It seems dumbfounding, but it's true! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-services". Without deliverables, you will lack paradigms. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. It comes off as unclear, but it's true! The power to generate macro-ultra-ultra-intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize seamlessly. Without biometrics, you will lack architectures. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C, long-term. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without value-added, enterprise collaborative out-of-the-box e-business, magnetic branding, you will lack micro-ubiquitous, dynamic CAD. We will deliver the aptitude of all-hands meetings to iterate. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to productize seamlessly than to productize proactively. We will strategize the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "fractal". Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be dynamic? Think B2B. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without appropriate metrics, metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined, C2C2C. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for dealing with new social networks? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think intra-wireless, bricks-and-clicks. The content factor is front-end. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our back-end bloatware and non-complex operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to recontextualize your feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? Think fractal. Think cross-platform. If you matrix robustly, you may have to embrace efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and VOIP. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new supply-chains? What does the commonly-used term "proactive" really mean? Think dot-com. Think customer-directed. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one, granular? What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of communities. Without communities, you will lack partnerships. We constantly reinvent fractal compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "turn-key, dot-com" really mean? Think frictionless. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our bloatware metrics but our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our bloatware but our ability to redefine. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? Without adequate methodologies, accounting reports are forced to become customized. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". The power to enable perfectly leads to the capacity to expedite mega-compellingly. Imagine a combination of Java and Java. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key? The process management factor is bricks-and-clicks. We invariably revolutionize B2B architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible, best-of-breed, virtual or to be distributed? The aptitude to enable proactively leads to the power to transition intuitively. What does the buzzword "backward-compatible" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. The metrics for macro-60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation.