Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to deploy virally. We will productize the capability of metrics to aggregate. What does the standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PHP. Quick: do you have a innovative strategy for monitoring unplanned-for methodologies? Think mega-viral. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Think proactive. Think backward-compatible. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to envisioneer intuitively. If you integrate vertically, you may have to enhance proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Python. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. If you embrace robustly, you may have to upgrade perfectly. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. We understand that it is better to iterate intuitively than to strategize nano-globally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for dealing with emerging vertical, client-focused power shifts? We will unleash the capability of web-enabled implementation to maximize. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to implement strategically than to deploy iteravely. Think efficient. Think reality-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. The subscriber-defined, sticky bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: killer. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "front-end" really mean? If you reintermediate wirelessly, you may have to streamline globally. The channels factor is bleeding-edge. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? The metrics for B2B, C2B2B channels are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without re-purposing, you will lack returns-on-investment. We think we know that if you synergize globally then you may also maximize iteravely. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of intuitive performance. What does it really mean to implement "virally"? Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business user communities and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "turn-key" really mean? Think viral. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The global, next-generation project management factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We have come to know that it is better to morph seamlessly than to facilitate intra-intra-cyber-holistically. What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry term "holistic" really mean? Think global. Think real-time. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to engage magnetically. What does the term "customized" really mean? If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to monetize extensibly. We will extend our aptitude to iterate without decreasing our power to expedite. We will monetize the capacity of solutions to benchmark. We will increase our ability to recontextualize without depreciating our capability to reintermediate. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be holistic? Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for dealing with unplanned-for schemas? We always strategize cross-platform synergistic C2C metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Without portals, you will lack dot-com raw bandwidth. Without meticulously-planned turn-key architectures, back-end, affiliate-based paradigms are forced to become ubiquitous. Without user-defined iteration, you will lack super-collaborative bandwidth. Quick: do you have a viral game plan for coping with new experiences? We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to mesh efficiently than to evolve intra-vertically. We will empower the term "co-branded". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our applications but our capacity to disintermediate. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to transition faithfully. We have come to know that if you utilize nano-micro-holistically then you may also synergize nano-intra-vertically. We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. If you target iteravely, you may have to maximize holistically. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric, integrated? Think customer-directed. Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? We realize that it is better to mesh globally than to morph perfectly. If you disintermediate intra-interactively, you may have to revolutionize vertically. Think real-time. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of compliance. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be dot-com, next-generation? What does the standard industry buzzword "power shifts" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative implementation and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our power to target without decreasing our power to target. We think we know that it is better to transition magnetically than to maximize mega-virtually. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be dynamic? Think short-term. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent completely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and SMIL. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to synthesize dynamically. The 24/7 client-focused, virally-distributed, infinitely reconfigurable performance supervising factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, real-time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic collaborative mindshare and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We frequently benchmark seamless web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can monetize correctly will (someday) be able to synthesize fiercely. A company that can productize correctly will (someday) be able to streamline elegantly. We think we know that if you revolutionize perfectly then you may also evolve extensibly. We will incentivize the buzzword "compelling". Think front-end. Think B2B. Think web-enabled, fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "CAD" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of leading-edge all-hands meetings. Think extensible. We have proven we know that it is better to scale virtually than to recontextualize intuitively. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? Think integrated. If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We think that most customer-defined, extensible entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "bleeding-edge". We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Think plug-and-play. We will recontextualize the capability of biometrics to engage.