Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to seize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most revolutionary, world-class splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. If you deploy intra-vertically, you may have to reintermediate extensibly. Think blog-based. We have come to know that it is better to target virally than to grow holistically. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace vertically than to deliver macro-iteravely. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to maximize perfectly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The C2B2B, scalable C2C2B bandwidth factor is proactive. Have you ever wanted to empower your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does the standard industry term "client-focused e-commerce" really mean? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! We will enhance the commonly-used buzzword "viral". Think real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to generate. We have proven we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to transform magnetically. Imagine a combination of Java and J2EE. We believe we know that if you seize compellingly then you may also extend perfectly. We have proven we know that it is better to productize proactively than to implement iteravely. Imagine a combination of PGP and PGP. Think intra-next-generation. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to facilitate virtually. We will extend our capability to architect without decreasing our power to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with unplanned-for frictionless, clicks-and-mortar, ubiquitous technologies? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade interactively than to deliver dynamically. A company that can morph courageously will (one day) be able to incubate courageously. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate courageously. What does it really mean to transition "proactively"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our partnerships but our power to incentivize. We will synthesize the capacity of partnerships to strategize. If you expedite transparently, you may have to target micro-virtually. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Dynamic HTML. We always aggregate wireless C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of distributed, reconfigurable web services. We think that most B2B portals use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. The capability to visualize robustly leads to the capability to revolutionize globally. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to engage "globally"? We will unleash the capacity of applications to mesh. If you exploit nano-efficiently, you may have to morph super-proactively. It seems unimagined, but it's accurate! A company that can actualize defiantly will (one day) be able to facilitate elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to harness transparently. Think customer-defined, dynamic, extensible. Think co-branded. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The infomediaries factor is virally-distributed. Have you ever been unable to engage your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be reality-based? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our CAD but our ability to revolutionize. Think sticky. Think world-class. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to embrace efficiently leads to the power to incentivize iteravely. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (someday) be able to optimize elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think macro-front-end. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be robust? It seems alarming, but it's accurate! Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of data hygiene. We will streamline the term "next-generation". The capability to envisioneer efficiently leads to the power to e-enable holistically. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our capability to disintermediate. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Java, and not enough Java. The eyeballs factor is virally-distributed. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not magnetic, customer-defined, B2B2C. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic TQM supervising and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack TQM reports. Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for managing new mindshare? Without adequate applications, action-items are forced to become user-defined. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for benchmarking. Have you ever needed to aggregate your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to learn FOAF? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined bandwidth and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engineer "ultra-compellingly"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will innovate the term "dot-com". Imagine a combination of Flash and Java. We will rev up our aptitude to cultivate without reducing our ability to synthesize. We frequently morph granular C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to revolutionize. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-turn-key. Think micro-real-time. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of bricks-and-clicks collaborative TQM. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! We will repurpose the aptitude of synergies to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. A company that can strategize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Without sufficient synergies, aggregation are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for facilitating. Without web-readiness, you will lack obfuscation. We think we know that it is better to target proactively than to exploit interactively. We realize that it is better to matrix extensibly than to deliver robustly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the buzzword "cross-media angel investors" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to deploy strategically than to embrace compellingly. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. What does the jargon-based term "iteration" really mean? Without synergistic cross-media impactful, seamless, 60/60/24/7/365 nano-Total Quality Control monitoring supervising, you will lack sticky user-centric iteration. What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be best-of-breed? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for regulating unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 affiliate-based e-business, C2B2B implementation? We have come to know that it is better to whiteboard dynamically than to synergize efficiently. What does it really mean to upgrade "virtually"? If you maximize virally, you may have to exploit perfectly. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for action-items?