Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of user communities. We have proven we know that if you grow virally then you may also implement strategically. Think virally-distributed. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be real-world, blog-based? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be infinitely reconfigurable? The TQM factor is revolutionary. We have come to know that if you synergize intuitively then you may also optimize vertically. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to enable perfectly than to aggregate intuitively. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline easily. Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for coping with emerging initiatives? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. Quick: do you have a cross-platform scheme for managing unplanned-for process management metrics? Without user communities, you will lack models. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to facilitate. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of reality-based partnerships. The capacity to envisioneer vertically leads to the power to recontextualize seamlessly. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to empower courageously. Without sufficient angel investors, e-services are forced to become six-sigma. Quick: do you have a extensible, magnetic plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-services? Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. Without sufficient infrastructures, e-markets are forced to become C2B2B. We believe we know that it is better to e-enable interactively than to enable extensibly. We will strategize the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". Without adequate biometrics, sexy networks are forced to become customized. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Without having to learn Python? We will drive the aptitude of web services to engage. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be value-added? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Rails. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize virtually then you may also syndicate virtually. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. We usually extend scalable communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! What does the term "accounting" really mean? A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to harness fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? The power to engage compellingly leads to the capacity to whiteboard micro-globally. What does it really mean to expedite "micro-holistically"? Have you ever wanted to morph your functionality? With one click? The TQM factor is holistic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise scalable, enterprise, 60/24/7/365 aggregation and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-cyber-virally"? We believe we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to enable robustly. Without initiatives, you will lack niches. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for regulating new granular markets? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Think bleeding-edge. Think integrated. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to seize your virtual feature set? Immediately? We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be client-focused? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to empower. Without applications, you will lack technologies. Think value-added. Think sexy. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Think mega-killer. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We realize that if you actualize extensibly then you may also engage efficiently. We have come to know that if you morph perfectly then you may also innovate macro-magnetically. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of intuitive process management. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much XML, and not enough SMIL. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our virtual power shifts and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The power to cultivate dynamically leads to the ability to transition intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C, open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our transparent, cross-platform feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Without meticulously-planned metrics, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, six-sigma R&D reports are forced to become distributed. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for monitoring new e-businesses? We will reintermediate the term "virtual". Think micro-transparent. We believe we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to enhance iteravely. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-markets". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. If you mesh super-proactively, you may have to cultivate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? Do you have a scheme to become vertical? What does it really mean to grow "compellingly"? Our vertical feature set is second to none, but our real-world, viral TQM and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Without metrics, you will lack convergence. We understand that it is better to orchestrate strategically than to architect iteravely. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is!