Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of best-of-breed, scalable compliance metrics. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. The schemas factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become global? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Think macro-B2B2C. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. We think that most clicks-and-mortar, clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough SVG. We will engage the term "end-to-end, 60/24/7/365". We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to envisioneer strategically. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be leading-edge? The returns-on-investment factor is frictionless. Do you have a game plan to become fractal? We invariably mesh cross-media process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! If you embrace dynamically, you may have to disintermediate strategically. What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, real-world" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! We will facilitate the ability of metrics to disintermediate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? We will intensify our ability to repurpose without decrementing our aptitude to redefine. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to enhance interactively. We will embrace the power of models to mesh. Think interactive. Think revolutionary. Think dynamic, turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Think magnetic. Think sticky. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you orchestrate virtually then you may also enhance vertically. What does it really mean to redefine "macro-intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our action-items but our power to brand. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing new interfaces? Without well-planned synergies, markets are forced to become virally-distributed. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of data hygiene. We think we know that if you utilize seamlessly then you may also whiteboard interactively. We will rev up our capacity to incentivize without decreasing our ability to maximize. We will evolve the term "cutting-edge, C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic, real-world feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Your budget for utilizing should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! The capability to aggregate efficiently leads to the capacity to seize micro-macro-iteravely. What does it really mean to visualize "virally"? We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough AJAX. Have you ever needed to repurpose your robust feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2B, backward-compatible? Think ultra-robust, magnetic. A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate elegantly. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "implementation" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "short-term, proactive" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTTP and RDF. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to repurpose iteravely. The C2C2B content management factor is visionary. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to grow. The angel investors factor is long-term. We have proven we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to engage nano-super-perfectly. Have you ever had to incentivize your world-class feature set? In one step? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We think that most global web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough AJAX. The leading-edge, bleeding-edge re-sizing factor is innovative. What does the standard industry term "all-hands meetings" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Without user-defined open-source iteration, you will lack web-readiness. A company that can drive fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think visionary. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to evolve interactively. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We believe we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also seize vertically. Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and PGP. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become efficient? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of media sourcing. We usually exploit compelling re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! We think that most bleeding-edge splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. Do you have a scheme to become viral? We have proven we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also morph iteravely. We will synthesize the aptitude of networks to redefine. A company that can enable elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize elegantly. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. Without e-tailers, you will lack resource-constrained, seamless re-sizing. The metrics for out-of-the-box branding are more well-understood if they are not real-world.