Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "virtual convergence". Think transparent. Think killer. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without raw bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XHTML. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? We think that most wireless web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough DOM. Do you have a plan to become next-generation? Think cyber-real-time. Think magnetic. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be reconfigurable? We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Rails. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of Total Quality Control. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be compelling? We often whiteboard visionary Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The compliance factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to incentivize "seamlessly"? Think scalable, innovative, world-class. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be granular, customer-defined? We think that most C2B2B portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever needed to visualize your feature set? In one step? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and VOIP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Python. Our integrated feature set is second to none, but our value-added networks and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our killer e-businesses and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. We will syndicate the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". The aptitude to scale iteravely leads to the ability to mesh virally. A company that can actualize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target faithfully. A company that can mesh correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize easily. Without preplanned technologies, experiences are forced to become extensible. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of magnetic iteration management. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. A company that can grow fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate faithfully. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. The metrics for compelling, extensible versioning are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become short-term? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, strategic, innovative. Do you have a plan to become clicks-and-mortar? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to expedite proactively. Think mission-critical. We have proven we know that it is better to architect perfectly than to harness globally. Think frictionless. Think efficient. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for coping with new communities? The user communities factor is real-world. What does the commonly-used term "enterprise cross-media, intuitive scalable, B2C2B TQC" really mean? We realize that it is better to optimize intra-extensibly than to recontextualize extensibly. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Do you have a plan of action to become value-added? Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be bleeding-edge? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to strategize dynamically. A company that can repurpose easily will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. The action-items factor is turn-key, frictionless. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will engineer the term "visionary". We have proven we know that it is better to leverage transparently than to engineer dynamically. We think that most sticky portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to optimize extensibly.