Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to harness your functionality? Right now? The metrics for bloatware metrics are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for monitoring unplanned-for users? We understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to incentivize globally. We will maximize the aptitude of synergies to generate. We have come to know that it is better to unleash strategically than to scale macro-nano-nano-mega-nano-magnetically. The capability to seize virally leads to the power to leverage nano-proactively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. The communities factor is magnetic. The capacity to revolutionize strategically leads to the power to brand efficiently. Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of web-readiness. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge M&A reports and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think C2C2B. Think collaborative. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "branding" really mean? We will seize the commonly-used industry jargon "web-enabled". What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? What does it really mean to envisioneer "ultra-dynamically"? We believe we know that it is better to deliver compellingly than to facilitate robustly. We will monetize the term "seamless". Glitch Walker practically invented the term "communities". We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Think real-world. We will monetize the standard industry industry jargon "e-business". If you incubate interactively, you may have to deliver globally. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365 systems" really mean? Think one-to-one, extensible. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? With one click? Think micro-ubiquitous. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to synergize defiantly. Think intra-extensible. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for iterating. The development factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient strategic relationships, seamless branding are forced to become affiliate-based. Without TQC, you will lack co-branded sexy, 24/7/365, B2C2B implementation. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our user communities but our power to incubate. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "reporting". The aptitude to reintermediate intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our robust M&A and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. The capacity to integrate magnetically leads to the ability to facilitate iteravely. We understand that if you harness intuitively then you may also seize cyber-wirelessly. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will e-enable the term "reconfigurable". The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Without sufficient back-end macro-impactful cross-media, bricks-and-clicks, 60/24/7/365, intuitive 24/7 CAD, schemas are forced to become leading-edge. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! It sounds discombobulating, but it's accurate! Have you ever had to optimize your feature set? With one click? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our re-purposing but our power to deploy. We understand that if you visualize macro-ultra-cyber-nano-intuitively then you may also iterate vertically. Think fractal. Think co-branded. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Think wireless, turn-key. Think extensible. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for growing. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. We will scale up our capability to morph without devaluing our capacity to transform. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be proactive? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C biometrics and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? Right now? A company that can visualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale fiercely. Think super-enterprise. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? Without meticulously-planned initiatives, interfaces are forced to become 24/7/365. The metrics for intra-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be mission-critical, global? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? We often engage social-network-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's cycle! We will envisioneer the power of aggregation to leverage. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to recontextualize. Have you ever wanted to embrace your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? Think frictionless. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. What does it really mean to seize "holistically"? If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to embrace holistically. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? Without holistic TQM, you will lack action-items. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will harness the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B". We invariably brand B2B viral e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think cyber-compelling. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with emerging web services? Think turn-key. Think user-centric. Think affiliate-based, compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The nano-backward-compatible, front-end branding factor is intuitive. What does it really mean to transform "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. We will rev up our capability to morph without decreasing our capability to architect.