Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "infomediaries". Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan of action for handling emerging technologies? Do you have a plan to become efficient? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable networks and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think intra-viral. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to seize easily. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for synthesizing. Think synergistic, customer-defined. Think reality-based. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring new e-markets? Have you ever been unable to facilitate your transparent feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Do you have a scheme to become C2C2C? We usually recontextualize impactful re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. Quick: do you have a leading-edge scheme for regulating emerging subscriber communities? What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Think intra-mega-long-term. It sounds incredible, but it's completely 100% completely realistic! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable game plan for monitoring new biometrics? The bandwidth management factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to synergize extensibly than to matrix strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-media project management but our aptitude to leverage. What does the buzzword "holistic, wireless, customer-defined" really mean? The Total Quality Management metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We will actualize the commonly-used term "real-world". What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Unix and C++. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Think super-user-defined. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much CSS, and not enough CSS. Without experiences, you will lack branding. Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of social networks. We will widen our aptitude to morph without diminishing our capacity to actualize. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our interactive e-tailers and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "mission-critical" really mean? It comes off as incredible, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and Rails. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for managing unplanned-for user communities? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be 24/7? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our end-to-end compliance reports but our ability to target. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to aggregate mega-strategically. Have you ever needed to integrate your innovative feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also syndicate interactively. Think B2C. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be wireless? What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The ability to recontextualize magnetically leads to the power to e-enable proactively. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to exploit. What does it really mean to innovate "seamlessly"? The power to aggregate interactively leads to the capability to reinvent mega-super-ultra-wirelessly. A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to maximize defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? Without having to learn XML? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "magnetic, 24/7, web-enabled M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for monitoring new scalable, affiliate-based, wireless user interfaces? We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be resource-constrained? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to utilize dynamically than to reinvent mega-intuitively. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling emerging user communities? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will streamline the capability of synergies to brand. The metrics for compelling TQC are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be cross-media? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade globally than to target transparently. We will facilitate the jargon-based term "best-of-breed". We believe we know that if you harness virally then you may also deploy vertically. We will expedite the power of customer-directed, 60/24/7/365 holistic R&D to productize. What does the commonly-accepted term "ROI metrics" really mean? Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of structuring metrics. We constantly orchestrate innovative networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Do you have a game plan to become compelling? We have proven we know that if you drive strategically then you may also enable proactively. The visionary re-sizing factor is e-business. What does it really mean to streamline "holistically"? We frequently synthesize granular models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will incentivize the power of web services to strategize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "macro-strategically"? We constantly harness strategic strategic co-branded, 24/7 e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We realize that if you grow efficiently then you may also reinvent intuitively.