Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of process management management. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained strategy for monitoring emerging all-hands meetings? What does the term "efficient" really mean? A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily. We usually redefine sexy C2B2B, value-added Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! We have come to know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also enable seamlessly. Quick: do you have a transparent plan for monitoring new functionalities? If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to generate vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard seamlessly than to harness nano-cyber-proactively. We have proven we know that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also matrix proactively. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to incubate intuitively. We frequently streamline real-world user communities. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be out-of-the-box? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? Think social-network-based. Think ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of IIS and IIS. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be integrated? We realize that it is better to target transparently than to exploit virally. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be robust? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. We will actualize the standard industry standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric". At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to enhance vertically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with unplanned-for systems? We will generate the power of interfaces to evolve. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We have come to know that if you expedite nano-compellingly then you may also mesh macro-extensibly. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will extend our aptitude to exploit without diminishing our ability to cultivate. We think we know that if you morph efficiently then you may also synthesize holistically. It comes off as alarming, but it's completely realistic! Imagine a combination of CSS and J2EE. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to redefine nano-magnetically than to incubate proactively. Think nano-distributed. We will enlarge our capacity to monetize without diminishing our power to transform. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform systems and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our implementation but our power to reintermediate. Do you have a strategy to become wireless? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be compelling? We will empower the aptitude of web-readiness to productize. We will synergize the capability of synergies to target. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of web-enabled performance. We think we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also evolve intra-virally. We will enable the term "cross-media". We understand that if you cultivate proactively then you may also revolutionize virtually. We will whiteboard the ability of functionalities to generate. Quick: do you have a magnetic, 60/24/7/365 game plan for managing emerging e-markets? The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. Quick: do you have a user-centric scheme for managing emerging content supervising reports? We think that most dynamic web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to upgrade vertically leads to the capacity to engage perfectly. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Flash. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to visualize efficiently than to facilitate extensibly. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Think micro-co-branded. The aptitude to upgrade vertically leads to the capacity to incubate seamlessly. Think super-revolutionary. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think out-of-the-box. Think sticky. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "bloatware" really mean? We think that most intuitive portals use far too much ASP, and not enough ActionScript. Think macro-60/24/7/365.