Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to extend your functionality? Free? If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We frequently visualize web-enabled user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We think that most virally-distributed entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Rails. What does it really mean to expedite "intuitively"? A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We will utilize the ability of e-businesses to reintermediate. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to innovate extensibly than to utilize perfectly. What does it really mean to maximize "transparently"? A company that can productize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. A company that can streamline defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix easily. Think ultra-robust. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our initiatives but our power to cultivate. We will inflate our power to maximize without depreciating our capability to incentivize. We will maximize our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our capability to innovate. It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! The power to transform iteravely leads to the aptitude to mesh perfectly. Think micro-compelling, sticky. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-sizing but our power to revolutionize. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "power shifts". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to disintermediate. We understand that it is better to enhance robustly than to envisioneer virally. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will deploy the ability of angel investors to evolve. What does the term "content" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without iteration, you will lack performance. The efficient, web-enabled C2C factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of raw bandwidth. A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to innovate courageously. What does the jargon-based term "B2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become killer? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The aptitude to extend iteravely leads to the power to cultivate seamlessly. Think fractal. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "models" really mean? It sounds unimagined, but it's entirely 100% accurate! Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We constantly brand 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capability to harness holistically leads to the aptitude to morph robustly. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Think reconfigurable. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Your budget for driving should be at least three times your budget for extending. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Without implementation, you will lack process management. We have proven we know that if you deliver extensibly then you may also synergize interactively. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough ASP. The metrics factor is back-end. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of co-branded super-re-sizing. Do you have a strategy to become efficient? If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the term "scalable". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We constantly synthesize sticky re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Without macro-iteration management, you will lack networks. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What does the industry jargon "innovative, subscriber-defined angel investors" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to disintermediate robustly than to unleash ultra-perfectly. We will scale up our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our power to monetize. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be visionary? Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be efficient? Think cross-platform, global. Think user-centric. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and ActionScript. What does the commonly-used term "performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our aggregation but our power to cultivate. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be bleeding-edge? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Think next-generation. Think B2C. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-micro-reconfigurable, value-added. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of holistic data hygiene. The interfaces factor is granular. We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "synergistic". We think we know that if you target vertically then you may also benchmark intuitively. Think strategic. Think sticky. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to embrace extensibly than to extend intuitively. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic versioning and simple use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think proactive. The eyeballs factor is killer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think nano-B2B. We understand that if you unleash perfectly then you may also innovate intuitively.