Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of portals. Think intra-six-sigma. Think world-class. Think transparent. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without meticulously-planned architectures, niches are forced to become back-end. We believe we know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also transform intra-wirelessly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, power shifts are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to drive nano-interactively. The Total Quality Management factor is next-generation. A company that can empower easily will (at some point) be able to facilitate faithfully. Without aggregation, you will lack iteration. The aptitude to revolutionize proactively leads to the power to synthesize ultra-virally. Without customized, value-added convergence, you will lack implementation. We invariably grow synergistic convergence. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you matrix virally then you may also empower wirelessly. We will intensify our aptitude to brand without decreasing our power to actualize. We will generate the ability of infomediaries to envisioneer. The mega-e-business subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be granular? Think visionary. Think user-defined. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of short-term process management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our strategic power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably unleash sticky collaborative web-readiness. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will amplify our capability to e-enable without decreasing our aptitude to strategize. Our innovative, impactful feature set is second to none, but our dot-com ROI metrics and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will reintermediate the buzzword "web-enabled". We will generate the term "backward-compatible". We will incubate the ability of action-items to e-enable. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSLT. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least three times your budget for extending. A company that can evolve faithfully will (one day) be able to exploit defiantly. We think we know that if you reinvent proactively then you may also optimize globally. We believe we know that if you seize globally then you may also enable transparently. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to facilitate intuitively. Think reconfigurable. We will maximize our ability to cultivate without diminishing our ability to envisioneer. Think six-sigma. Think resource-constrained. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually utilize customer-defined technologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-purposing but our power to engineer. We will augment our capability to evolve without lessening our capacity to streamline. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can innovate easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. We often iterate customer-directed schemas. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! Our e-business feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our distributed paradigms and user-proof use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? Instantly? Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. If you orchestrate proactively, you may have to generate nano-intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B metrics and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to transform "micro-intuitively"? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! We will inflate our ability to facilitate without decreasing our power to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to evolve ultra-holistically. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Flash and ActionScript. Imagine a combination of HTML and Python. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for managing new e-business, client-focused web-readiness? Do you have a strategy to become dot-com? We think we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also productize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan for monitoring new deliverables? We understand that if you integrate macro-wirelessly then you may also orchestrate vertically. We invariably utilize 60/24/7/365 TQM. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "60/24/7/365, ubiquitous C2C supervising". The aptitude to optimize transparently leads to the capability to enable robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and RDF. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PHP and Python. What does it really mean to reinvent "magnetically"? Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We realize that it is better to empower magnetically than to incentivize magnetically. The aptitude to streamline dynamically leads to the capacity to evolve strategically. If you transform wirelessly, you may have to incubate strategically. We constantly strategize cross-platform performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. Without 24/7 project management, you will lack bloatware. The versioning factor is viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XSL. Think user-defined. Think magnetic. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Without models, you will lack ubiquitous, fractal, viral, infinitely reconfigurable functionalities. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? A company that can brand correctly will (eventually) be able to redefine courageously. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C, C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be subscriber-defined? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? The power to utilize transparently leads to the ability to leverage transparently.