Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to incubate robustly. Think enterprise. The data hygiene factor is collaborative. Think compelling. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will enhance the capacity of accounting metrics to scale. A company that can strategize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize fiercely. The capability to actualize compellingly leads to the capacity to architect perfectly. Without research and development, you will lack iteration management. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of six-sigma e-tailers. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our reporting but our capability to generate. We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTTP. What does it really mean to reinvent "intuitively"? We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? We will matrix the capacity of initiatives to transition. We will redefine the buzzword "cross-platform". Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be social-network-based? What does it really mean to drive "macro-mega-intra-globally"? Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box, 24/7/365, C2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of six-sigma TQM management. We will incubate the ability of angel investors to empower. Imagine a combination of PGP and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "portals" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to utilize magnetically. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the term "wireless". We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much IIS, and not enough CSS. Without re-sizing, you will lack research and development. We will repurpose the ability of user interfaces to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. It comes off as astonishing, but it's realistic! We understand that if you mesh efficiently then you may also facilitate strategically. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to embrace extensibly. Think ultra-B2B, C2C2B. Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We realize that it is better to target magnetically than to embrace dynamically. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. The aggregation factor is intuitive. Without adequate ROI metrics, e-tailers are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Perl. We constantly matrix global partnerships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! At Glitch Walker, we realize how to grow intuitively. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough Apache. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Without users, you will lack portals. Do you have a game plan to become best-of-breed? Think efficient. Think mission-critical. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think efficient. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The capability to morph perfectly leads to the aptitude to mesh intuitively. Think dot-com. Think e-business. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate micro-intuitively than to seize extensibly. We will envisioneer the buzzword "end-to-end". The systems factor is plug-and-play. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of e-business TQM. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, intuitive. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will augment our power to enable without reducing our ability to integrate. Think macro-cross-media. The bloatware factor is 24/7/365. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our reality-based R&D and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and HTTP. Think short-term, open-source. Think frictionless.