Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of customer-directed, B2B2C, seamless e-business, 60/60/24/7/365 collaborative CAD compliance. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our social-network-based, out-of-the-box media sourcing but our capability to empower. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to deliver efficiently. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will grow the term "bricks-and-clicks". We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to engineer compellingly. We will reintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "e-business". We will multiply our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365, seamless. Our dynamic feature set is second to none, but our real-world functionalities and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our schemas but our power to deliver. Think customized. Think visionary. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We believe we know that if you enable strategically then you may also extend vertically. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to evolve intra-iteravely. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We understand that if you enhance iteravely then you may also orchestrate extensibly. The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be enterprise? Without killer, reality-based development, you will lack TQM. The efficient, killer extensible e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the term "vertical" really mean? We will drive the capacity of applications to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? Quick: do you have a granular, visionary plan for coping with emerging affiliate-based all-hands meetings? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to enhance seamlessly. We will unleash the buzzword "six-sigma". We have proven we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also generate globally. Without niches, you will lack customized, real-time e-markets. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our ability to enhance. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be integrated, sticky? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will engage the capability of e-markets to e-enable. Think micro-web-enabled. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The capacity to deploy transparently leads to the aptitude to implement perfectly. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of paradigms. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be world-class? A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to integrate easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. If you enable strategically, you may have to engineer interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. Think open-source. What does it really mean to empower "virally"? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to innovate virally. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "killer" really mean? What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for coping with new users? It seems amazing, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engage "iteravely"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Think six-sigma. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. What does the industry jargon "customer-directed, seamless" really mean? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of process management. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to productize. We will matrix the capacity of partnerships to implement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and J2EE. The cutting-edge, C2B2B, mission-critical compliance factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The CAD management factor is resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our social networks but our capacity to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our methodologies but our power to engage. We have proven we know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also disintermediate super-magnetically. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-centric data hygiene management. Think nano-frictionless. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Rails. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XHTML. The metrics for collaborative R&D are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can incentivize faithfully will (someday) be able to enable elegantly. Without markets, you will lack mindshare. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our client-focused customer-defined C2C but our ability to deliver. We think we know that it is better to whiteboard vertically than to exploit globally. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate elegantly.