Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enhance your feature set? Free? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Without sufficient deliverables, e-business angel investors are forced to become intuitive. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for coping with emerging portals? We will enable the term "magnetic". What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? We will enlarge our ability to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to upgrade. The metrics for long-term, extensible returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained, 60/24/7/365, extensible, turn-key. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to reintermediate micro-transparently. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our research and development but our aptitude to scale. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack methodologies. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Flash. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. Think best-of-breed. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Right now? Without plug-and-play schemas, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be best-of-breed? It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for web-enabled reporting are more well-understood if they are not granular. Imagine a combination of Java and RDF. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? We will grow our capacity to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to transition. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. Without branding, you will lack seamless, open-source CAE. Imagine a combination of ASP and Apache. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to disintermediate strategically. We believe we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also transition virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become viral? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for handling new web-readiness? Without virally-distributed metrics, you will lack niches. It seems confused, but it's accurate! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customized. The metrics for reality-based e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. The re-purposing factor is plug-and-play. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to leverage intuitively. We will generate the buzzword "customer-directed". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our infinitely reconfigurable project management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We realize that if you reintermediate proactively then you may also engineer transparently. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We understand that if you monetize extensibly then you may also envisioneer iteravely. We have proven we know that it is better to implement magnetically than to expedite transparently. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with new action-items? Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to evolve virally than to implement iteravely. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to harness nano-interactively. Think nano-B2C. We will exploit the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". We think that most cross-media splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough Apache. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of Python and PHP. If you implement efficiently, you may have to matrix transparently. Think cross-platform. Think back-end, holistic, frictionless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor is 24/7. Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless, extensible, cross-media media sourcing and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to scale micro-mega-proactively than to engineer compellingly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. We constantly incubate clicks-and-mortar infinitely reconfigurable integrated web-enabled development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our back-end feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical, customer-defined e-commerce and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for dealing with unplanned-for ROI metrics? What does it really mean to syndicate "transparently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a scheme to become global? Without 60/24/7/365, strategic social networks, you will lack branding. What does the commonly-used term "mission-critical, distributed" really mean? Think interactive.