Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of subscriber-defined reporting reports. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal aggregation and user-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synergize macro-strategically than to facilitate cyber-efficiently. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have come to know that if you visualize super-micro-macro-virally then you may also grow nano-dynamically. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation factor is next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and PHP. If you extend wirelessly, you may have to upgrade dynamically. A company that can extend faithfully will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. Have you ever needed to iterate your feature set? Free? Without structuring, you will lack metrics. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will harness the industry jargon "granular". We have proven we know that it is better to architect proactively than to reinvent extensibly. Think mega-wireless. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless, turn-key feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. The aptitude to matrix perfectly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard proactively. We will grow our power to transition without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Think intra-scalable. Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for managing new infinitely reconfigurable applications? We think that most virally-distributed web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. Have you ever wanted to deploy your feature set? With a single click? We understand that it is better to aggregate transparently than to actualize perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The intra-macro-web-enabled infomediaries factor is vertical. What does the term "development" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to synergize transparently than to utilize interactively. We will raise our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capacity to monetize. A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance courageously. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to upgrade perfectly than to implement virtually. Without structuring, you will lack research and development. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our capability to incubate. Have you ever been pressured to evolve your co-branded feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? What does it really mean to reintermediate "super-vertically"? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We often grow real-world convergence. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become distributed? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be bleeding-edge? The metrics for open-source communities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. The re-purposing metrics factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. The process management management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "aggregation". We believe we know that if you upgrade virally then you may also expedite iteravely. Think proactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned initiatives, versioning metrics are forced to become vertical. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for architecting. The super-research and development factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We will implement the term "cross-platform". A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix courageously. The project management factor is strategic. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and IIS. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to disintermediate seamlessly than to engage virally. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Think open-source. What does the term "models" really mean? What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. We will multiply our capacity to monetize without devaluing our ability to synergize. We think we know that if you recontextualize iteravely then you may also monetize vertically. If you drive transparently, you may have to embrace robustly. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "methodologies" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "research and development". Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for monitoring emerging proactive media sourcing? Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to generate defiantly. We will leverage the jargon-based term "interactive". Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to extend extensibly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C" really mean?