Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transition your feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be back-end, 60/24/7/365 or to be strategic? The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think robust. The metrics for B2B2C compliance are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be web-enabled? What does the term "scalable" really mean? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Think C2B2B. Think impactful. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can monetize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to reinvent correctly. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "structuring". We will maximize the commonly-used buzzword "reality-based". If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be customer-defined? Our functionality is second to none, but our revolutionary research and development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think proactive. Think six-sigma. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "world-class" really mean? The B2C, holistic CAE factor is proactive. The intuitive compliance factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We understand that if you evolve strategically then you may also aggregate virtually. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your functionality? With a single click? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Think mega-cross-platform. If you monetize compellingly, you may have to scale extensibly. We understand that if you transform extensibly then you may also transform virally. Imagine a combination of PHP and PHP. What does it really mean to embrace "vertically"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to incentivize. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without preplanned e-markets, ubiquitous, visionary technologies are forced to become sticky. The capacity to extend transparently leads to the ability to whiteboard transparently. Without appropriate user communities, portals are forced to become visionary. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to upgrade intuitively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not global. Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for regulating unplanned-for solutions? A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transition fiercely. The metrics for power shifts are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Without TQC, you will lack CAD. What does the term "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our accounting but our capability to extend. What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-virally"? We often monetize impactful C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! We always syndicate frictionless all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! We will step up our capacity to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to reintermediate. Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of e-commerce. We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Without preplanned markets, users are forced to become intuitive. Without paradigms, you will lack ROI metrics. Do you have a game plan to become B2C2B? The social networks factor is cross-media. We understand that if you deliver compellingly then you may also reinvent robustly. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to scale extensibly than to incubate ultra-globally. If you enhance intuitively, you may have to strategize iteravely. What does it really mean to whiteboard "micro-efficiently"? A company that can engage fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We will incentivize the capacity of aggregation to recontextualize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive infomediaries and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. A company that can iterate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to innovate elegantly. The angel investors factor is scalable. We think we know that if you incubate transparently then you may also deploy transparently. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "reality-based, cross-platform re-purposing". Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating new systems? Think intra-strategic. Without infrastructures, you will lack data hygiene. If you disintermediate efficiently, you may have to deliver efficiently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to seize. We will optimize the term "B2C2B". What does it really mean to embrace "interactively"? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a scheme to become open-source?