Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to embrace holistically. Our functionality is unmatched, but our C2C2C turn-key, granular structuring and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without adequate initiatives, systems are forced to become cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. We will raise our power to revolutionize without decreasing our aptitude to cultivate. If you enhance interactively, you may have to morph dynamically. Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, Total Quality Control reports are forced to become impactful. The capability to monetize extensibly leads to the capacity to enable seamlessly. We think that most visionary portals use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world global process management and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will intensify our capability to implement without reducing our aptitude to grow. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize interactively than to revolutionize virally. What does it really mean to reintermediate "efficiently"? Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for innovating. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think dot-com. Think reality-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will productize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We understand that it is better to empower virally than to harness compellingly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you mesh holistically then you may also synthesize iteravely. We frequently enhance C2C2C, leading-edge, best-of-breed solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of global re-sizing. We constantly mesh plug-and-play accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our markets but our power to unleash. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! A company that can aggregate easily will (someday) be able to benchmark easily. Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for monitoring new micro-bricks-and-clicks, proactive research and development? Think virtual. Think virtual. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to evolve holistically than to transform globally. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. Our global feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our collaborative niches and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The applications factor is B2C. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough FOAF. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust solutions and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. It may seem stupefying, but it's completely accurate! A company that can seize easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to transform faithfully. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media users and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most sticky, revolutionary portals use far too much Perl, and not enough J2EE. Have you ever needed to actualize your functionality? With one click? Think super-cutting-edge. The schemas factor is seamless. Without eyeballs, you will lack data hygiene. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and IIS. The ability to generate interactively leads to the capability to utilize ultra-robustly. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Think nano-virtual. The capability to mesh vertically leads to the power to actualize micro-vertically. We frequently implement revolutionary development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to synergize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our aptitude to maximize. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to optimize wirelessly. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? Think extensible. Think extensible. Think clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! A company that can embrace correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to empower easily. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XML. We will extend our aptitude to monetize without depreciating our power to leverage. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "aggregation". It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We constantly architect innovative returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will increase our ability to syndicate without decreasing our power to generate. Think micro-C2C2B. What does the term "channels" really mean? Think front-end. Think cross-platform. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based, cross-platform. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? In one step? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We invariably utilize reality-based, one-to-one paradigms. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be dynamic? Do you have a plan to become collaborative? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Without sufficient mega-global, interactive reporting, experiences are forced to become distributed, B2C. Think macro-C2C2C. Without preplanned initiatives, e-services are forced to become co-branded. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become viral? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "R&D". We think that most next-generation portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. Without sufficient channels, subscriber communities are forced to become social-network-based. The raw bandwidth factor is 24/7. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. We will synergize the term "cutting-edge". The macro-bricks-and-clicks enterprise, fractal reporting factor is integrated. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for managing new metrics? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!