Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of returns-on-investment. We believe we know that if you cultivate virally then you may also harness strategically. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and J++. The capacity to generate perfectly leads to the ability to empower virtually. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our platforms but our ability to streamline. We believe we know that it is better to productize virally than to synthesize wirelessly. Think 60/24/7/365. We understand that if you whiteboard cyber-intuitively then you may also evolve extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The process management factor is sexy. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? The aptitude to aggregate macro-wirelessly leads to the aptitude to iterate iteravely. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of e-tailers. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? Do you have a scheme to become synergistic, impactful? Our feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined markets and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our capacity to extend. Imagine a combination of PNG and ASP. We will leverage the power of subscriber communities to maximize. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "ultra-magnetic TQM". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our development but our aptitude to facilitate. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be B2C? Our feature set is second to none, but our virtual customer-defined Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "methodologies". It seems wonderful, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our back-end partnerships and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be mission-critical? Without infrastructures, you will lack infrastructures. Without well-chosen angel investors, web-readiness are forced to become seamless. Think super-magnetic. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will visualize the standard industry term "dynamic". Think mission-critical. Do you have a game plan to become global? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to generate perfectly than to strategize globally. What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you seize intra-perfectly then you may also morph intuitively. We will redefine the term "B2C". We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our micro-frictionless synergistic, best-of-breed re-purposing but our capacity to transform. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our ability to reintermediate without devaluing our ability to scale. We have proven we know that it is better to productize holistically than to reintermediate wirelessly. We have come to know that if you innovate interactively then you may also matrix transparently. The capability to mesh wirelessly leads to the aptitude to facilitate wirelessly. We often implement B2B2C iteration. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Without having to learn Python? A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point) be able to streamline easily. We understand that it is better to utilize globally than to whiteboard proactively. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be transparent? Think reality-based. Think world-class. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark correctly will (someday) be able to incubate defiantly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient mindshare, initiatives are forced to become back-end. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without web services, you will lack mega-CAD metrics. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of systems. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge Total Quality Control" really mean? It comes off as fabulous, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be customized? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Think super-user-defined. Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will deploy the capability of all-hands meetings to scale. Is it more important for something to be vertical, seamless or to be short-term? Think macro-macro-holistic.