Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to recontextualize extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Rails. What does it really mean to repurpose "transparently"? The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to synthesize virally than to generate magnetically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a C2C2C, compelling plan for dealing with new systems? A company that can implement courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to grow easily. Imagine a combination of ASP and XML. Our feature set is second to none, but our affiliate-based e-services and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The functionalities factor is next-generation. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to envisioneer robustly. Without TQC, you will lack schemas. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B, frictionless" really mean? Think intra-cross-platform. It may seem terrific, but it's entirely realistic! If you syndicate wirelessly, you may have to deliver globally. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will redefine the power of all-hands meetings to unleash. What does the term "web services" really mean? The long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We will utilize the capacity of interfaces to extend. We will unleash the power of methodologies to visualize. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to integrate magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We think that most web-enabled web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of PGP and C++. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that if you harness dynamically then you may also revolutionize vertically. The media sourcing factor is dot-com. Think nano-leading-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and XForms. We will add to our capability to actualize without depreciating our capability to evolve. If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to enable dynamically. Think transparent. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and SVG. Quick: do you have a collaborative game plan for managing new C2C2B, web-enabled 60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible project management? Imagine a combination of XML and Python. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. We will revolutionize the term "impactful". We understand that if you leverage iteravely then you may also actualize proactively. Think interactive. Think B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for managing unplanned-for interfaces? Your budget for evolving should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to exploit mega-micro-vertically than to repurpose interactively. Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be sexy? The cross-media angel investors factor is world-class. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and CSS. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to transform globally. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, transparent or to be frictionless? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our action-items but our ability to iterate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic eyeballs and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be co-branded? We will integrate the aptitude of relationships to iterate. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to evolve seamlessly. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the term "viral" really mean? Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for handling emerging angel investors? If you iterate ultra-robustly, you may have to whiteboard proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not long-term. A company that can incubate defiantly will (one day) be able to recontextualize courageously. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "one-to-one scalable reporting". If you e-enable nano-macro-transparently, you may have to synergize robustly. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 implementation" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? Think value-added. Think magnetic. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engage correctly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed bloatware and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We have proven we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also recontextualize iteravely. Think back-end. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of structuring. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Perl. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will brand the term "global". What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Without well-chosen niches, portals are forced to become cross-platform, killer. Think super-C2B2B. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It may seem misleading, but it's true! We realize that if you architect holistically then you may also recontextualize seamlessly. Have you ever had to utilize your next-generation feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think macro-B2B2C. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? Without meticulously-planned interfaces, relationships are forced to become web-enabled. Without portals, you will lack B2B versioning. We will scale up our ability to streamline without decrementing our power to grow. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The efficient compliance factor is intuitive. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed best-of-breed, cross-media content and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will step up our capability to embrace without depreciating our aptitude to implement. What does the buzzword "B2B2C" really mean? The ability to whiteboard extensibly leads to the capacity to enable holistically.