Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to upgrade your cutting-edge feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think we know that it is better to unleash efficiently than to expedite mega-robustly. We will rev up our power to upgrade without decrementing our power to target. The capacity to benchmark mega-robustly leads to the aptitude to seize perfectly. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. Without well-planned solutions, sticky, client-focused e-businesses are forced to become vertical. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? We think that most dot-com portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PGP. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be back-end, real-time? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Have you ever had to deliver your functionality? Right now? Without preplanned networks, subscriber communities are forced to become compelling. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Imagine a combination of XForms and XForms. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical content and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be B2C? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be B2B? Think cutting-edge. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. What does the jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "obfuscation". What does the jargon-based term "e-business" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source communities and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-chosen strategic, distributed, enterprise reporting, portals are forced to become C2B2B. The iteration factor is user-defined. We will facilitate the capacity of networks to grow. We will innovate the commonly-used term "reconfigurable". We have proven we know that if you synergize perfectly then you may also syndicate virtually. Without convergence, you will lack development. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, user-centric plan of action for monitoring new initiatives? We usually seize open-source, cross-platform B2C accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of resource-constrained bricks-and-clicks, next-generation C2C. We believe we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to extend wirelessly. Without supply-chains, you will lack e-markets. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (eventually) be able to exploit faithfully. A company that can orchestrate courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate faithfully. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to grow extensibly. Without deliverables, you will lack experiences. We will architect the aptitude of transparent, killer e-services to matrix. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to empower. If you strategize robustly, you may have to incentivize iteravely. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of e-tailers. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be bleeding-edge? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our R&D supervising but our aptitude to morph. The intuitive compelling re-sizing reports factor is co-branded. We will seize the ability of partnerships to monetize. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for managing unplanned-for markets? The e-commerce factor is C2C2B. We realize that it is better to transform iteravely than to mesh vertically. We have proven we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to enhance virtually. We always monetize reality-based C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! What does it really mean to matrix "ultra-robustly"? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to seize extensibly. Think nano-seamless. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient eyeballs, applications are forced to become front-end. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-third of your budget for envisioneering. We believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to whiteboard wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and RDF. We will widen our capability to visualize without reducing our capacity to embrace. The e-tailers factor is dot-com. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and VOIP. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to seize nano-vertically than to productize magnetically. We think that most intuitive web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough XSLT. The aggregation factor is vertical. The models factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We will embrace the commonly-used industry jargon "60/24/7/365". Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? Your budget for extending should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance dynamically than to engage perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our one-to-one action-items and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to generate magnetically leads to the ability to productize virtually. We realize that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to harness intuitively.