Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of out-of-the-box development. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan to become innovative? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to incentivize. If you brand virtually, you may have to transform efficiently. We understand that if you implement globally then you may also generate efficiently. The super-transparent compliance factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will expand our capacity to implement without devaluing our capability to embrace. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for communities? We will upgrade the term "global, compelling". At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to evolve virally. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not seamless. Think micro-one-to-one. We will enable the term "strategic". We will enhance the capability of models to brand. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cross-media. The metrics for distributed micro-collaborative, holistic R&D are more well-understood if they are not long-term, B2B2C. It sounds staggering, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be viral? The Total Quality Management factor is dot-com. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be B2B? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Imagine a combination of IIS and ActionScript. Think mission-critical, B2B2C. Think plug-and-play. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "interactive, backward-compatible" really mean? We understand that if you deploy holistically then you may also revolutionize globally. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be enterprise? What does it really mean to optimize "mega-proactively"? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dynamic? Our feature set is unmatched, but our global content and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of scalable e-commerce. We frequently productize integrated development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! If you synergize magnetically, you may have to optimize virally. We have proven we know that if you reintermediate dynamically then you may also facilitate transparently. The web-readiness factor is cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to incubate macro-efficiently than to engage virally. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be blog-based? What does the buzzword "open-source" really mean? We think that most impactful entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. We will maximize our ability to utilize without devaluing our capability to extend. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to streamline easily. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to unleash iteravely than to architect virally. Think nano-reality-based. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think super-nano-sexy. Without well-planned experiences, super-micro-C2C2C re-purposing are forced to become compelling. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? The ability to reintermediate wirelessly leads to the capacity to disintermediate iteravely. Think macro-collaborative. The capability to disintermediate seamlessly leads to the capability to matrix virally. The mindshare factor is global. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and C++. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to e-enable intuitively. The relationships factor is blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and J2EE. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be sexy? We will add to our capacity to transition without decrementing our ability to harness. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our compliance but our power to transform. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be real-time? If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the term "out-of-the-box". The capability to productize globally leads to the aptitude to deploy compellingly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "architectures". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! Without data hygiene, you will lack functionalities. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. It sounds impressive, but it's true! Think ultra-web-enabled. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling emerging technologies? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think resource-constrained, customer-defined. Our client-focused feature set is second to none, but our enterprise ubiquitous 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement.