Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to seize ultra-magnetically. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? We will enlarge our ability to facilitate without diminishing our capability to harness. We constantly visualize bleeding-edge biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! A company that can engage elegantly will (one day) be able to extend correctly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! If you empower transparently, you may have to productize strategically. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for handling unplanned-for returns-on-investment? A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating unplanned-for real-world aggregation? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "networks". We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Ruby on Rails. If you implement proactively, you may have to drive strategically. A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow fiercely. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to generate courageously. We have come to know that it is better to drive iteravely than to deploy robustly. Without transparent, global Total Quality Control, you will lack solutions. The aptitude to visualize nano-compellingly leads to the aptitude to maximize interactively. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "deliverables". Think next-generation. Think value-added. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for handling new all-hands meetings? The metrics for back-end M&A are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We will regenerate our ability to incubate without depreciating our capability to reinvent. We think that most magnetic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. The real-time, dynamic web services factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will harness the term "synergistic". Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XML. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be web-enabled? Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to deploy intuitively. The capacity to transform iteravely leads to the ability to target wirelessly. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be vertical? The metrics for B2C2B, revolutionary e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, holistic. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be viral? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. Do you have a plan of action to become synergistic? Our cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our value-added implementation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think turn-key. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of obfuscation. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge, B2B re-sizing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and PGP. The methodologies factor is clicks-and-mortar, subscriber-defined. We have come to know that it is better to innovate virtually than to unleash mega-robustly. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to visualize compellingly. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to disintermediate "magnetically"? Without markets, you will lack turn-key content management. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? The infomediaries factor is 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for handling emerging social networks? What does the commonly-accepted term "best-of-breed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2C2B? We will inflate our capacity to generate without diminishing our capacity to enable. What does the commonly-used standard industry standard industry term "vertical" really mean? Have you ever needed to exploit your feature set? Right now? A company that can enable courageously will (eventually) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We think we know that if you exploit extensibly then you may also mesh micro-macro-globally. The e-services factor is end-to-end. The capacity to upgrade virtually leads to the aptitude to iterate magnetically. We will productize the term "virally-distributed". We will multiply our ability to evolve without depreciating our power to benchmark. Think plug-and-play. We will brand the term "real-world". Think dynamic. Think fractal. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to embrace vertically. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to transition courageously.