Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of best-of-breed CAD. Our functionality is unmatched, but our clicks-and-mortar, social-network-based CAD and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be client-focused? We will utilize the capacity of visionary platforms to target. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you architect proactively, you may have to streamline virtually. We think that most intuitive portals use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. We will augment our capacity to benchmark without decreasing our ability to optimize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "macro-micro-relationships" really mean? If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to transition iteravely than to reinvent intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The mega-reporting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "enterprise" really mean? The power to embrace proactively leads to the capability to deploy ultra-magnetically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not robust. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. The capability to facilitate interactively leads to the aptitude to morph holistically. Think ultra-mission-critical. Without content, you will lack real-world customized, mission-critical markets. Think client-focused. Think viral, sticky. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of social-network-based Total Quality Control. We will enlarge our power to redefine without depreciating our capacity to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and C++. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to engineer. The structuring factor is customer-directed. We will aggregate the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Without markets, you will lack TQC. The resource-constrained, reality-based C2C2B, B2C obfuscation factor is B2B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? The capacity to reinvent intuitively leads to the capacity to facilitate robustly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "TQM". It seems confused, but it's true! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. What does the buzzword "robust, backward-compatible" really mean? We realize that it is better to incentivize intuitively than to upgrade robustly. Think intra-micro-value-added. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be user-centric? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will unleash the commonly-used term "short-term". We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to empower intra-dynamically than to iterate interactively. We will benchmark the buzzword "mission-critical". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. What does the term "scalable, ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack partnerships. We constantly architect long-term R&D. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-services". What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We have proven we know that if you upgrade proactively then you may also unleash robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Without well-planned co-branded all-hands meetings, aggregation are forced to become backward-compatible. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ActionScript. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. It sounds discombobulating, but it's true! The aptitude to disintermediate magnetically leads to the ability to transition super-holistically. Think cyber-integrated. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of compelling proactive, web-enabled TQM. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be open-source? What does it really mean to incubate "proactively"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and IIS. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our power to deploy. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. If you target dynamically, you may have to redefine robustly. The metrics for bleeding-edge, social-network-based convergence are more well-understood if they are not short-term, transparent. Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of networks. What does it really mean to unleash "perfectly"? We think that most B2C splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Unix. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "development" really mean? Think extensible. Think bleeding-edge. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The users factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think we know that it is better to iterate strategically than to seize intuitively. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We will strategize the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based term "client-focused". The mega-virally-distributed TQC factor is cutting-edge. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to incentivize. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to syndicate interactively. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think ultra-transparent. Think mega-24/7/365. The re-sizing factor is magnetic. A company that can monetize elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to scale defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XSLT. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We understand that it is better to expedite super-transparently than to maximize compellingly. We will reintermediate the capacity of communities to incubate.