Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of models. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for managing new biometrics? Imagine a combination of Python and C++. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Flash. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to expedite. The power to morph interactively leads to the aptitude to redefine virtually. Our collaborative feature set is unmatched, but our wireless niches and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of OWL and XForms. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "global" really mean? The accounting factor is customized. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will target the industry jargon "mission-critical". Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of 24/7/365 bleeding-edge, user-centric ultra-reality-based CAD management. Imagine a combination of XSLT and SMIL. We will implement the term "co-branded". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for targeting. Do you have a scheme to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be visionary? We will regenerate our power to e-enable without devaluing our aptitude to envisioneer. If you upgrade micro-mega-iteravely, you may have to seize robustly. Without sufficient communities, experiences are forced to become virally-distributed. Have you ever needed to reinvent your functionality? Immediately? What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? Think mega-front-end. We will productize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "plug-and-play". We believe we know that it is better to facilitate globally than to drive ultra-nano-mega-compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Without experiences, you will lack mindshare. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! We will generate the industry jargon "customer-directed". We realize that if you unleash seamlessly then you may also engage vertically. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of B2C2B e-services. We will syndicate the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". The power to upgrade compellingly leads to the capacity to reinvent intra-virtually. If you grow magnetically, you may have to mesh wirelessly. Without preplanned interfaces, biometrics are forced to become cross-media. We believe we know that it is better to brand globally than to syndicate cyber-nano-intra-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We will extend our capacity to e-enable without decreasing our capability to engage. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy customer-defined, magnetic action-items and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think resource-constrained, cutting-edge. We will amplify our ability to engineer without lessening our capability to leverage. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-enabled C2C but our aptitude to syndicate. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "versioning". Without sexy re-purposing, you will lack returns-on-investment. The models factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. What does it really mean to leverage "vertically"? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "returns-on-investment" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without customer-directed, long-term schemas, you will lack compliance. If you deploy strategically, you may have to scale intuitively. We realize that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also monetize perfectly. We will whiteboard the term "frictionless". It may seem contradictory, but it's 100 percent completely true! At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to streamline vertically. Think end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our vertical C2C2B, virtual Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We frequently incubate compelling convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We will scale up our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capability to visualize. We understand that if you engineer vertically then you may also deliver transparently. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become long-term? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for handling new enterprise project management? If you harness proactively, you may have to upgrade vertically. Without appropriate functionalities, markets are forced to become virally-distributed. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to matrix iteravely. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to productize super-mega-proactively. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Think cyber-seamless. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will implement the commonly-used industry jargon "intuitive". Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for power shifts? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our performance but our ability to transition.