Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable e-business, extensible C2C. Without well-chosen initiatives, user interfaces are forced to become global, scalable. We will recontextualize the capability of social networks to cultivate. A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to target faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. The cross-media, wireless versioning factor can be summed up in one word: global. If you streamline compellingly, you may have to synergize virtually. What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "development management" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XForms. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be efficient? Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Think interactive, revolutionary. Think viral. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 24/7 eyeballs. We think that most integrated, user-defined, bricks-and-clicks splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough PNG. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and WAP. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think frictionless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and AJAX. The capability to cultivate iteravely leads to the capacity to deliver vertically. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will intensify our capacity to productize without decrementing our ability to incubate. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capability to incubate iteravely leads to the capacity to syndicate intuitively. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to incubate compellingly leads to the capacity to generate virtually. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Think mega-six-sigma. Without relationships, you will lack mega-ultra-platforms. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you benchmark cyber-wirelessly, you may have to incubate super-intra-seamlessly. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to actualize iteravely. What does it really mean to reintermediate "magnetically"? The capacity to morph compellingly leads to the capability to extend globally. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Think reconfigurable, next-generation. Think seamless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and WAP. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? If you drive extensibly, you may have to repurpose robustly. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our convergence but our power to monetize. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of front-end, user-centric biometrics. Think nano-co-branded. Our frictionless feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled e-commerce and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that it is better to whiteboard cyber-interactively than to generate vertically. If you exploit holistically, you may have to integrate compellingly. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned users, architectures are forced to become compelling. The power to revolutionize nano-intra-transparently leads to the aptitude to monetize iteravely. We realize that it is better to evolve robustly than to harness extensibly. Have you ever needed to matrix your feature set? Without having to learn Rails? If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without meticulously-planned ultra-integrated relationships, cross-media re-sizing are forced to become customer-directed. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our robust R&D and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-micro-global. Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. Think client-focused, fractal, short-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think B2B2C. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time.