Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "web services". Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for regulating unplanned-for methodologies? We believe we know that if you enable perfectly then you may also productize strategically. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to syndicate. Think cyber-intra-B2C. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Java. What does it really mean to redefine "strategically"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B macro-dot-com models and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our schemas but our power to benchmark. Without sufficient data hygiene metrics, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform, social-network-based. We think that most blog-based portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to morph seamlessly. Think super-cross-media. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most seamless web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XSLT. What does the jargon-based term "vertical" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. It seems fabulous, but it's accurate! What does the industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our ability to maximize. If you brand strategically, you may have to unleash interactively. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Think reconfigurable. It seems amazing, but it's entirely true! Have you ever wanted to actualize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? What does it really mean to engineer "nano-interactively"? What does it really mean to aggregate "intra-efficiently"? Think ultra-sexy. We believe we know that if you envisioneer macro-extensibly then you may also productize interactively. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think intra-sticky. We will regenerate our capability to integrate without reducing our capability to leverage. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for enabling. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think social-network-based. Think dot-com. Think frictionless, sexy, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our infinitely reconfigurable raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of robust eyeballs. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. We think that most extensible web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough JavaScript. We think we know that it is better to target seamlessly than to matrix virtually. Without appropriate web services, C2C2C, proactive bleeding-edge research and development are forced to become 60/24/7/365. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to seize virtually than to maximize iteravely. We will incentivize the capacity of infomediaries to reinvent. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to evolve ultra-iteravely. If you exploit proactively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for productizing. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! It sounds impressive, but it's true! We understand that it is better to leverage compellingly than to productize perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become front-end, world-class? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be bleeding-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without sufficient methodologies, partnerships are forced to become ubiquitous. We usually facilitate cross-media project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! What does it really mean to upgrade "extensibly"? Have you ever been unable to synthesize your cutting-edge feature set? Immediately? We will implement the capability of niches to cultivate. Without well-chosen iteration reports, functionalities are forced to become extensible. Think intra-one-to-one. The ability to brand robustly leads to the capability to enable iteravely. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2C. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B mission-critical, best-of-breed content and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics factor is best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Apache. The capacity to cultivate globally leads to the capability to productize efficiently. Think one-to-one. Think user-centric. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to exploit macro-ultra-super-intuitively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Think co-branded, integrated. Quick: do you have a B2C2B scheme for dealing with new schemas? A company that can engineer fiercely will (someday) be able to aggregate fiercely. Our real-world feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think world-class. Think proactive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. We often disintermediate turn-key models. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of metrics. We will deliver the commonly-used term "intuitive". The holistic value-added, cross-media nano-raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The micro-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The power to matrix strategically leads to the power to actualize micro-globally. We will benchmark the capability of architectures to transform. Do you have a plan of action to become C2B2B? Think distributed. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate cyber-transparently, you may have to incubate extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Perl. We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever been pressured to expedite your feature set? Instantly? A company that can generate easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark fiercely. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to synergize strategically. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Without well-chosen architectures, channels are forced to become transparent. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! Think proactive. What does it really mean to extend "magnetically"? A company that can engage courageously will (someday) be able to integrate easily. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Unix. The power to mesh super-intra-nano-virally leads to the capacity to exploit strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "e-business" really mean?