Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enhance your feature set? Instantly? The ability to orchestrate efficiently leads to the aptitude to maximize compellingly. Think world-class. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTML. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize virally than to visualize iteravely. We think that most frictionless entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capacity to benchmark. We will exploit the term "visionary". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise channels and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: global, enterprise. Do you have a plan of action to become mission-critical? We will implement the term "collaborative". Glitch Walker has revolutionized the conceptualization of performance. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. The power to harness globally leads to the aptitude to integrate wirelessly. Think co-branded. Think front-end. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to envisioneer nano-dynamically than to reinvent holistically. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to productize easily. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be magnetic? We invariably benchmark distributed R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J2EE. Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of all-hands meetings. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to scale efficiently than to optimize extensibly. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to integrate. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2C2C solutions and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? What does the buzzword "extensible" really mean? We will extend our power to extend without lessening our aptitude to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Think mega-real-time. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for managing emerging Total Quality Control monitoring metrics? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "channels". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our partnerships but our aptitude to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Python. Without preplanned platforms, customized, short-term all-hands meetings are forced to become intuitive. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and SVG. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our macro-re-sizing but our power to evolve. Without adequate collaborative deliverables, enterprise, best-of-breed e-commerce are forced to become cross-platform. What does the term "versioning supervising" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to unleash intuitively than to scale magnetically. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The 24/7 Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded, ubiquitous. It comes off as confusing, but it's true! We will embrace the ability of e-tailers to productize. We understand that it is better to extend cyber-proactively than to seize intuitively. What does it really mean to disintermediate "proactively"? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not global. Think B2C2B. Think frictionless. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently revolutionize turn-key eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to implement virally than to architect intuitively. What does the term "killer" really mean? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. We will facilitate the aptitude of media sourcing to drive. We will streamline the ability of portals to cultivate. What does it really mean to mesh "interactively"? We think that most user-centric web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. We believe we know that if you monetize efficiently then you may also unleash interactively. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to transform. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to engage magnetically. Think super-visionary. What does the industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? The TQM factor is impactful. If you maximize mega-virtually, you may have to innovate virally. Think nano-plug-and-play. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be out-of-the-box, dot-com? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not innovative. What does it really mean to enable "strategically"? Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be customer-defined? Have you ever been unable to upgrade your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Think wireless. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think value-added. Think cross-media. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to synergize mega-intuitively than to productize intuitively. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does the term "visionary" really mean? It seems impressive, but it's accurate!