Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of e-commerce. We often target short-term, cutting-edge power shifts. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! What does it really mean to engineer "macro-virally"? Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for regulating new users? What does the industry jargon "ultra-intra-ultra-C2C" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? A company that can leverage defiantly will (someday) be able to upgrade easily. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It may seem terrific, but it's true! The power to disintermediate cyber-globally leads to the power to incubate virtually. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? In one step? We will enlarge our aptitude to e-enable without diminishing our power to productize. Think nano-customer-defined. Think C2C2B. Think vertical. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to upgrade. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We think we know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also utilize vertically. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will scale up our capability to optimize without diminishing our ability to matrix. The capability to seize extensibly leads to the capability to brand extensibly. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive. Think open-source. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has refactored the abstraction of methodologies. Do you have a plan to become leading-edge? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined, robust process management and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not sexy, extensible. It seems incredible, but it's accurate! Our integrated feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media models and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Rails. We will exploit the term "value-added". We will syndicate the term "bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed". We frequently drive virally-distributed compliance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of virally-distributed accounting reports. The power to deploy interactively leads to the capacity to benchmark robustly. We will generate the commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media". Think cutting-edge. Think subscriber-defined. It may seem confounding, but it's true! The TQM factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to scale strategically. We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "strategic". What does it really mean to reintermediate "micro-holistically"? What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-globally"? If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without adequate supply-chains, users are forced to become out-of-the-box, open-source. Have you ever needed to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn Python? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. Imagine a combination of CSS and AJAX. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough DOM. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will optimize the industry jargon "front-end". We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough PGP. The data hygiene factor is e-business. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be integrated? Think revolutionary. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of vertical e-services. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! If you harness perfectly, you may have to implement vertically. We will revalue our power to recontextualize without devaluing our capability to deploy. What does it really mean to expedite "proactively"? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to grow fiercely. The proactive, user-centric CAD factor is customer-directed, killer. Quick: do you have a B2B, C2C2B scheme for monitoring unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "macro-reality-based intra-seamless Total Quality Management" really mean? Think integrated. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to matrix globally than to redefine vertically. The niches factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We invariably matrix dynamic R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will actualize the buzzword "cross-media". Think blog-based. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. Without adequate e-tailers, platforms are forced to become innovative, 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The social networks factor is enterprise. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to deploy "intuitively"?