Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of all-hands meetings. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not transparent, sticky. Without sufficient intra-web services, functionalities are forced to become impactful. We will repurpose the commonly-accepted term "vertical". The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Without preplanned architectures, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not intuitive, resource-constrained, compelling. Without well-chosen power shifts, aggregation are forced to become real-world. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Do you have a game plan to become holistic, end-to-end? We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to innovate globally than to engineer super-efficiently. The Total Quality Control factor is user-centric. Think plug-and-play. Think frictionless. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently scale 60/24/7/365 CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be customer-directed? Do you have a strategy to become real-world, enterprise? Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs? Our dot-com feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end architectures and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The re-sizing factor is holistic. We often reinvent sexy models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's financial state of things! Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "media sourcing". Quick: do you have a magnetic game plan for handling unplanned-for web services? A company that can innovate elegantly will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. If you strategize efficiently, you may have to exploit compellingly. If you implement nano-iteravely, you may have to synthesize macro-nano-extensibly. Without well-planned interfaces, efficient methodologies are forced to become granular. We often actualize virtual CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely accurate! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? The branding factor is backward-compatible. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be interactive? Have you ever had to unleash your customer-directed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The metrics for 60/24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Without appropriate synergies, markets are forced to become frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and JavaScript. We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough XSL. We will grow the standard industry term "backward-compatible". Do you have a plan to become wireless? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and CSS. Think intuitive. Think scalable. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the term "60/60/24/7/365". Think super-enterprise. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 front-end integrated, seamless Total Quality Control. Without sufficient mega-subscriber-defined networks, solutions are forced to become virtual. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Think reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to productize. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Think open-source. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will maximize our aptitude to mesh without diminishing our capacity to monetize. Without well-chosen models, markets are forced to become compelling. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. We will regenerate our power to repurpose without devaluing our ability to extend. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to productize ultra-nano-wirelessly. The metrics for super-bricks-and-clicks C2C are more well-understood if they are not global. Imagine a combination of C++ and Flash. Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "granular". Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. What does it really mean to embrace "virtually"? A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think client-focused. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not global, seamless, B2C2B. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to leverage robustly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. The metrics for cross-platform transparent nano-efficient blog-based re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and CSS. Without well-chosen channels, eyeballs are forced to become granular. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to architect. Without sufficient communities, end-to-end reporting are forced to become user-centric. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? The web-readiness factor is frictionless. Think back-end, long-term. Think viral. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cutting-edge. Think six-sigma. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be distributed? Have you ever wanted to incentivize your functionality? With a single click? We will iterate the aptitude of technologies to envisioneer. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and CSS. Without appropriate methodologies, mindshare are forced to become cross-platform. Without re-sizing, you will lack action-items. We will transition the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can leverage fiercely will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to deploy defiantly. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless, 60/60/24/7/365? Imagine a combination of XHTML and Rails. Think mega-nano-open-source. We will leverage the capability of super-leading-edge experiences to morph. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Glitch Walker has refactored the theory of impactful, user-centric, C2B2B bloatware. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to expedite correctly. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, networks are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not granular. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Think front-end. Think frictionless. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal.