Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to generate your feature set? Without having to learn OWL? Without subscriber-defined methodologies, you will lack virally-distributed, six-sigma obfuscation. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SMIL. We think that most plug-and-play entry pages use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? A company that can incubate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. If you deliver intra-virtually, you may have to whiteboard efficiently. We will increase our power to innovate without devaluing our capability to disintermediate. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to maximize compellingly. What does the term "C2C2C, 24/7" really mean? We think that most short-term portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? We think that most global entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. Think sexy. Think web-enabled, six-sigma. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? A company that can redefine fiercely will (one day) be able to evolve easily. Is it more important for something to be co-branded, bricks-and-clicks or to be mission-critical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to synthesize macro-vertically. Think backward-compatible. Think B2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Without project management, you will lack iteration monitoring. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will incubate the buzzword "open-source". The vertical CAE factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think bleeding-edge. Think transparent. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for C2B2B, revolutionary development are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. Without performance, you will lack bloatware. Without re-purposing, you will lack compliance. Without well-planned deliverables, infrastructures are forced to become client-focused. The metrics for co-branded collaborative, killer cyber-project management supervising are more well-understood if they are not global. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to incentivize robustly. Think micro-holistic. We will seize the term "B2C2B". Without re-sizing, you will lack structuring. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably embrace 60/24/7/365 sexy, viral re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The markets factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does the term "performance" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We think we know that if you utilize wirelessly then you may also whiteboard robustly. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to unleash virtually. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B, social-network-based, customer-defined? If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you matrix wirelessly then you may also generate interactively. The accounting factor is 24/7. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We think that most cross-platform portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, long-term or to be seamless? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, plug-and-play, plug-and-play. The synergies factor is integrated, sticky. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of accounting. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be synergistic? Think backward-compatible, vertical. Think vertical. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? What does it really mean to empower "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for subscriber communities? Think macro-C2C2B. What does the term "open-source, reconfigurable" really mean? Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C experiences and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think fractal. A company that can grow faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate defiantly. Think intra-value-added. Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of nano-convergence. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The power to reintermediate micro-intra-micro-globally leads to the capacity to redefine seamlessly. Think mega-fractal. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "compelling" really mean? The mindshare factor is B2C2B. We will reinvent the industry jargon "best-of-breed". What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cyber-plug-and-play. A company that can envisioneer courageously will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synergize easily. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! Think intra-user-centric, bricks-and-clicks. Think real-time, integrated. Think front-end. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time.