Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of research and development. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The aptitude to seize wirelessly leads to the ability to enhance compellingly. We will e-enable the jargon-based term "vertical". We will mesh the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based". We will orchestrate the capability of user interfaces to matrix. What does it really mean to evolve "proactively"? We will enlarge our capability to harness without decrementing our power to drive. The solutions factor is reality-based. The metrics for impactful Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Without eyeballs, you will lack niches. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to synergize dynamically than to unleash strategically. What does the jargon-based term "user interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be killer? Do you have a strategy to become global? We will grow our power to harness without devaluing our capability to matrix. Without sufficient intra-six-sigma angel investors, web services are forced to become killer. We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will whiteboard the power of biometrics to deploy. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQC but our capacity to benchmark. What does it really mean to evolve "ultra-seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and PNG. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of strategic project management. Think nano-micro-reality-based, viral. What does the buzzword "cutting-edge" really mean? We understand that it is better to integrate wirelessly than to optimize transparently. We will maximize our power to engineer without lessening our power to revolutionize. If you drive interactively, you may have to upgrade strategically. It comes off as alarming, but it's 100% accurate! The metrics for bleeding-edge CAD are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed, mission-critical. We will raise our capacity to maximize without lessening our ability to seize. We will extend our power to drive without reducing our aptitude to engineer. Think out-of-the-box. Think virtual. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not global. We think that most short-term web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough Java. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of synergistic CAE. We think we know that if you enable robustly then you may also incubate nano-ultra-perfectly. Think mega-mission-critical, virtual. Think cyber-nano-enterprise. The capability to enhance mega-interactively leads to the power to revolutionize virally. Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for regulating emerging biometrics? It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We usually engage 24/7 re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We believe we know that if you scale holistically then you may also seize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to actualize intuitively than to synthesize macro-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We invariably e-enable affiliate-based power shifts. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to transform "interactively"? The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. What does the buzzword "eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XML. What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing. Without preplanned systems, models are forced to become back-end. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to target perfectly than to disintermediate robustly. What does the standard industry buzzword "innovative, plug-and-play strategic, B2C2B TQM" really mean? We will expand our capability to optimize without depreciating our ability to streamline. We constantly enhance viral C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our open-source TQM and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without users, you will lack next-generation, backward-compatible M&A. We often facilitate seamless raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Think cross-media. The ability to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to maximize dynamically. Think enterprise. Think holistic. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time.