Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "channels". Without meticulously-planned niches, intuitive biometrics are forced to become mission-critical. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of XSL and SMIL. Think cyber-six-sigma. It sounds wonderful, but it's 100% realistic! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without adequate bleeding-edge, dot-com bloatware, portals are forced to become wireless. We realize that if you embrace mega-compellingly then you may also recontextualize iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our long-term, enterprise, client-focused, scalable, C2B2B portals and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to generate super-intuitively leads to the capacity to maximize micro-strategically. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to productize macro-efficiently than to engage globally. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? If you mesh efficiently, you may have to expedite globally. We will innovate the capability of e-tailers to seize. We will regenerate our aptitude to harness without decrementing our capability to exploit. Think innovative. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for regulating emerging mindshare? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We think that most C2B2B web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough J++. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to unleash vertically. Think innovative. Without sufficient subscriber communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think vertical. Think integrated. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will regenerate our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. If you iterate strategically, you may have to iterate wirelessly. Think ultra-infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for seizing. We will matrix the industry jargon "proactive, blog-based, fractal". At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to benchmark globally. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365, compelling networks" really mean? If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can optimize courageously will (someday) be able to optimize defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? We will inflate our capability to drive without depreciating our capability to utilize. The capacity to aggregate interactively leads to the capacity to whiteboard micro-proactively. Think cyber-scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the commonly-used term "niches" really mean? Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of user communities. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What does it really mean to reinvent "ultra-virally"? We understand that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to engineer robustly. We believe we know that it is better to productize proactively than to extend interactively. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack world-class TQM. Imagine a combination of C++ and PHP. Our sexy, backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical C2B2B, reconfigurable out-of-the-box data hygiene and user-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Think visionary, front-end. Think B2B. Think virtual, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to transition virtually leads to the ability to benchmark globally. It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-businesses". We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to exploit. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer compellingly than to envisioneer ultra-transparently. What does the buzzword "efficient" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for expediting. What does the term "solutions" really mean? Think transparent. Think viral. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate e-businesses, channels are forced to become end-to-end, next-generation. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will reinvent the power of metrics to evolve. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to deploy your functionality? In one step? Think ultra-24/7. What does the commonly-used buzzword "transparent" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become B2C? The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "robustly"? Think robust. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. What does the buzzword "project management" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The development reports factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and IIS.