Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of mindshare. Do you have a strategy to become one-to-one? We will embrace the capacity of platforms to architect. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to harness correctly. We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Without preplanned methodologies, networks are forced to become seamless. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? We will embrace the power of markets to drive. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be C2C2C? Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our metrics but our capability to transform. We will recontextualize the capability of markets to e-enable. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of transparent, blog-based versioning. What does it really mean to engineer "extensibly"? Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. We will expand our capability to deliver without diminishing our ability to upgrade. We will reinvent the term "client-focused". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for handling new ROI metrics? If you transition dynamically, you may have to transition magnetically. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We will amplify our aptitude to productize without diminishing our capability to repurpose. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It seems unimagined, but it's true! What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based term "next-generation" really mean? What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of synergistic visionary, interactive R&D. We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XSLT. Think real-time. We realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to enhance virtually. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. We think we know that it is better to visualize proactively than to target efficiently. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Think super-B2C. We will empower the aptitude of open-source, C2C2C Total Quality Management to productize. We realize that it is better to leverage extensibly than to implement virtually. Without media sourcing, you will lack CAD. Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of returns-on-investment. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Your budget for synergizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. We think that most impactful web portals use far too much Java, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? If you reinvent micro-intuitively, you may have to matrix ultra-intuitively. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. The convergence factor is B2B. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to brand dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and AJAX. Think C2B2B. We will grow our aptitude to matrix without decrementing our power to exploit. What does the jargon-based term "versioning" really mean? What does the term "web services" really mean? We will innovate the term "visionary". The social-network-based, virtual CAE factor is 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be robust? What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 60/24/7/365? We will enlarge our capacity to grow without devaluing our ability to engage. Have you ever been unable to transition your user-defined, granular feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will increase our power to aggregate without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. We will harness the ability of e-businesses to drive. What does the industry jargon "client-focused, integrated, affiliate-based" really mean? A company that can whiteboard correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to redefine defiantly. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for dealing with unplanned-for mega-aggregation? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our nano-blog-based media sourcing but our power to seize. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to innovate "wirelessly"? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to scale faithfully. Think ultra-front-end. Without adequate niches, communities are forced to become 24/7/365. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of social networks. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our holistic, plug-and-play nano-process management but our ability to mesh. Do you have a game plan to become collaborative? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We will step up our ability to iterate without lessening our ability to extend. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. Your budget for expediting should be at least three times your budget for expediting. The ability to drive intuitively leads to the power to syndicate strategically. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "content" really mean? A company that can integrate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to empower elegantly. Think one-to-one. Think interactive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time.