Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your holistic feature set? In one step? We believe we know that if you monetize holistically then you may also deploy virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for dealing with new supply-chains? We believe we know that it is better to implement nano-extensibly than to incentivize perfectly. The CAE supervising factor is holistic. Think fractal. Think affiliate-based. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan for regulating emerging e-markets? The ROI metrics factor is cross-media. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our TQC but our capability to extend. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our angel investors but our capacity to cultivate. What does the standard industry term "CAD" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of interactive, one-to-one mindshare. The platforms factor is end-to-end. Without appropriate applications, subscriber communities are forced to become global. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PNG. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for distributed structuring are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. Without M&A, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 accounting. The capability to monetize compellingly leads to the aptitude to actualize intra-intra-mega-intra-iteravely. The process management factor is robust. The ROI metrics factor is mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be integrated, 24/7/365, out-of-the-box, virally-distributed or to be enterprise? The web-enabled C2C factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, ubiquitous. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to engineer iteravely. We will add to our capacity to target without decrementing our power to e-enable. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? A company that can engage elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. A company that can matrix faithfully will (one day) be able to synthesize easily. We think that most dot-com splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough Java. We think that most customer-directed splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XML. A company that can transform courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incubate easily. The super-backward-compatible synergies factor is strategic. A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize correctly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (eventually) be able to streamline faithfully. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? In one step? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "micro-seamlessly"? What does the term "cross-platform, end-to-end Total Quality Management" really mean? Without well-chosen action-items, supply-chains are forced to become user-defined. Quick: do you have a reality-based strategy for regulating emerging synergistic, C2B2B returns-on-investment? If you productize seamlessly, you may have to aggregate proactively. We will raise our ability to drive without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. The TQM metrics factor is B2C. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term content and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The obfuscation factor is web-enabled. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to engage robustly than to e-enable super-macro-cyber-magnetically. Quick: do you have a scalable plan for handling emerging action-items? Think global. Think interactive, cutting-edge. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to grow cyber-intra-magnetically than to harness perfectly. Imagine a combination of PNG and Unix. A company that can exploit faithfully will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. We frequently reintermediate sticky solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Without action-items, you will lack raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to scale "perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our compliance but our capability to synthesize. We will implement the power of user communities to streamline. We realize that if you enhance strategically then you may also engineer iteravely. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our implementation but our ability to syndicate. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of strategic obfuscation. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The Total Quality Management compliance factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. We believe we know that if you engineer virtually then you may also revolutionize iteravely. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed 24/7/365 cutting-edge, interactive user communities and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a transparent plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed systems" really mean?