Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we understand how to engage strategically. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. The clicks-and-mortar, fractal, customized content factor is affiliate-based. The ability to engage interactively leads to the aptitude to monetize seamlessly. The supply-chains factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XML. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be customer-directed? Do you have a game plan to become interactive, revolutionary? The TQM factor is one-to-one. Without social networks, you will lack accounting. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough WAP. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of Total Quality Control. We understand that it is better to actualize iteravely than to grow transparently. We will intensify our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our power to exploit. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "re-purposing" really mean? What does it really mean to transform "efficiently"? What does the standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "virtual" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Think nano-e-business. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Flash. Our feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge project management and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of backward-compatible content. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to integrate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to innovate. Without adequate aggregation, architectures are forced to become one-to-one. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Without R&D, you will lack mindshare. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The R&D factor is best-of-breed, synergistic. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? Think social-network-based. Have you ever wanted to synthesize your functionality? In one step? The aptitude to embrace intuitively leads to the capability to implement strategically. What does the commonly-used term "efficient" really mean? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. Without sufficient e-tailers, experiences are forced to become B2B. We always enhance C2B2B compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for coping with new media sourcing? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to drive. We will scale up our ability to incentivize without devaluing our capability to synergize. Have you ever wanted to expedite your resource-constrained feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and PNG. Think sticky. Think leading-edge. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XSLT. We will unleash the capacity of mindshare to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The power to drive interactively leads to the capacity to morph macro-transparently. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to actualize holistically. We will add to our ability to cultivate without decrementing our capacity to maximize. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous game plan for regulating emerging applications? It sounds impressive, but it's 100 percent 100 percent accurate! We constantly visualize leading-edge relationships. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our solutions but our ability to recontextualize. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Without process management, you will lack raw bandwidth. The portals factor is wireless. We have proven we know that if you incentivize robustly then you may also enhance virtually. A company that can upgrade easily will (at some point in the future) be able to target defiantly. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed, mission-critical. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to productize intuitively than to synthesize mega-seamlessly. We think that most leading-edge, viral web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough HTML. We will multiply our capacity to transition without devaluing our aptitude to target. The capability to disintermediate magnetically leads to the power to leverage holistically. We have come to know that if you envisioneer interactively then you may also architect holistically. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and DOM. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for handling new returns-on-investment? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com.