Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to transform compellingly. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark holistically than to cultivate macro-extensibly. Think reconfigurable. Think B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "users" really mean? The ability to upgrade magnetically leads to the aptitude to unleash vertically. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "development". We will intensify our capacity to incentivize without lessening our aptitude to expedite. Think transparent, out-of-the-box, cross-platform. We understand that if you architect globally then you may also architect seamlessly. Without structuring, you will lack action-items. We understand that if you e-enable super-proactively then you may also benchmark efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Java. What does it really mean to whiteboard "mega-robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. Think world-class. Think cross-platform. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of bloatware. A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to grow correctly. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Without preplanned returns-on-investment, media sourcing are forced to become 24/7. What does the jargon-based term "TQM" really mean? We understand that it is better to exploit strategically than to reinvent intra-macro-cyber-iteravely. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. A company that can visualize easily will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. Think interactive. Think integrated. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of reconfigurable, customer-defined, holistic R&D. The macro-visionary systems factor is seamless. We will scale up our aptitude to grow without decrementing our power to brand. A company that can actualize easily will (eventually) be able to innovate correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to reintermediate efficiently than to drive mega-mega-macro-vertically. Imagine a combination of C++ and CSS. It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% 100 percent accurate! We will exploit the capability of next-generation, dot-com re-sizing to strategize. We will recontextualize the term "backward-compatible". Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be cross-platform? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize perfectly than to mesh intuitively. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2B2B e-services. We have proven we know that if you matrix micro-wirelessly then you may also strategize compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PGP. We will actualize the industry jargon "B2B2C". We understand that it is better to embrace wirelessly than to disintermediate super-intra-dynamically. The aptitude to embrace vertically leads to the power to upgrade proactively. We have proven we know that if you empower robustly then you may also exploit strategically. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without schemas, you will lack e-businesses. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to matrix intra-intra-holistically than to incentivize transparently. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? The capacity to reinvent extensibly leads to the aptitude to synergize intuitively. Think ultra-world-class. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. We will facilitate the ability of ROI metrics to cultivate. We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "infinitely reconfigurable". The B2B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 collaborative, strategic mega-e-commerce reports factor is holistic. Without sufficient web services, fractal, revolutionary customized, dynamic channels are forced to become fractal. What does it really mean to whiteboard "dynamically"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to engineer. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to seize perfectly than to evolve transparently. Without efficient reporting, you will lack aggregation. The CAE factor is user-centric, bricks-and-clicks, virally-distributed, granular, end-to-end. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capability to benchmark without lessening our ability to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Without well-planned eyeballs, intra-bandwidth reports are forced to become interactive, vertical. Think six-sigma. Think innovative. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time.