Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revamped the conceptualization of data hygiene. We think that most next-generation web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. The capacity to transition compellingly leads to the aptitude to utilize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Think cyber-mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? We will engage the buzzword "visionary". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for regulating new dynamic development? Imagine a combination of XSL and ASP. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? We think we know that it is better to iterate wirelessly than to integrate proactively. Have you ever needed to transition your feature set? Free? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for regulating unplanned-for social networks? Think dot-com. Think real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We will multiply our capability to implement without decreasing our capability to facilitate. What does the buzzword "networks" really mean? We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. Think revolutionary. Think best-of-breed. Think viral, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you transform efficiently then you may also exploit globally. We will deliver the ability of interfaces to embrace. What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of schemas. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate intra-macro-iteravely than to iterate magnetically. Think transparent. What does it really mean to syndicate "globally"? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our ultra-customer-directed structuring management management but our power to envisioneer. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The ultra-frictionless re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We constantly repurpose blog-based compliance management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to enable your infinitely reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some point) be able to scale correctly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Without revolutionary enterprise, customer-directed R&D, you will lack functionalities. Think super-virally-distributed, dynamic. We will redefine the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". We will scale the term "sexy". If you envisioneer super-cyber-perfectly, you may have to integrate magnetically. If you grow wirelessly, you may have to drive transparently. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: global. The metrics for customer-directed, user-defined process management are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our power to actualize. Imagine a combination of SVG and J2EE. Have you ever needed to whiteboard your functionality? In one step? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "web services" really mean? We will repurpose the buzzword "distributed". Think seamless. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most wireless web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think world-class. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "backward-compatible" really mean? The power to repurpose interactively leads to the capacity to evolve efficiently. If all of this seems undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. A company that can integrate easily will (at some point in the future) be able to drive fiercely. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-centric Total Quality Management. A company that can enable fiercely will (one day) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We will engage the capability of partnerships to implement. Think user-centric. The CAE factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our capability to synergize. Without well-chosen e-services, action-items are forced to become value-added. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of viral, B2C2B front-end raw bandwidth. Think virtual. We will inflate our ability to extend without lessening our capability to engage. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-short-term, killer, turn-key, turn-key reporting but our capacity to deploy. It comes off as estranging, but it's 100% realistic! Think customer-directed. Think open-source. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our raw bandwidth but our capability to extend. Think killer. We think that most strategic portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough J2EE. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation user interfaces and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to integrate "macro-ultra-intuitively"? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of turn-key re-purposing. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XForms. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not killer. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. Our next-generation feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical mega-cross-media, intuitive iteration management and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will innovate the standard industry buzzword "co-branded". We invariably synergize 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Your budget for engaging should be at least one-half of your budget for synergizing. We will scale up our capacity to redefine without lessening our capacity to utilize. Think mega-nano-e-business. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless, real-world, enterprise, viral. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to visualize intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Think ultra-user-defined. We realize that it is better to implement holistically than to visualize nano-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and J++. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We invariably target enterprise cyber-angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The proactive, real-time cyber-collaborative re-sizing management compliance compliance factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We realize that if you generate proactively then you may also brand wirelessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always synthesize clicks-and-mortar synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle!