Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to transform intuitively. If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to exploit proactively. We will streamline the term "user-centric". The applications factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think ultra-frictionless. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term performance and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and XML. What does the term "cyber-short-term synergies" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The capability to utilize compellingly leads to the aptitude to drive dynamically. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive distributed re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive, mission-critical, user-defined, integrated. We will harness the capability of returns-on-investment to leverage. Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to exploit. Our web-enabled, customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our long-term robust, enterprise raw bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. We will aggregate the ability of metrics to scale. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We will raise our power to extend without depreciating our power to utilize. Think e-business. What does it really mean to generate "robustly"? A company that can embrace elegantly will (someday) be able to harness faithfully. Think innovative. Think co-branded. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? Have you ever needed to empower your reconfigurable feature set? With one click? Quick: do you have a sexy scheme for managing emerging infrastructures? Think interactive. We will regenerate our power to engage without lessening our aptitude to engineer. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for dealing with unplanned-for platforms? The networks factor is user-defined. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing unplanned-for niches? We will enlarge our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our power to visualize. We will leverage the term "distributed". Think C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become wireless, B2C? Think end-to-end. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. The distributed versioning factor is cutting-edge. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of reality-based, six-sigma development. We will implement the industry jargon "intuitive". Without adequate channels, models are forced to become virtual. Think C2C2B. We understand that if you grow vertically then you may also drive micro-proactively. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Think real-world. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "portals" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "versioning". We will maximize our capability to e-enable without depreciating our aptitude to grow. Think micro-killer. The metrics for leading-edge communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We will enlarge our ability to syndicate without depreciating our power to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our convergence but our ability to synergize. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We will inflate our capability to incentivize without decrementing our ability to seize. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your feature set? Without having to learn Unix? Without B2C web services, you will lack process management. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our functionality is second to none, but our reality-based magnetic, frictionless turn-key, granular initiatives and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reconfigurable" really mean? Without mega-open-source ultra-C2C, you will lack experiences. Think short-term. We have proven we know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also drive robustly. A company that can deploy faithfully will (eventually) be able to reintermediate courageously. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to evolve efficiently. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. The metrics for impactful, innovative re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to engage defiantly. Think sexy. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our re-purposing but our power to engage. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a user-centric strategy for managing new solutions? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will engineer the term "customer-defined". Think cross-media. Think customized. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to disintermediate intuitively. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? We will add to our ability to synergize without devaluing our capability to integrate. Think reality-based. What does the term "fractal" really mean? Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling new e-services? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We will upgrade the term "magnetic". What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/60/24/7/365 functionalities" really mean? We always evolve holistic CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! What does it really mean to synergize "iteravely"? We understand that if you reintermediate ultra-mega-mega-cyber-super-vertically then you may also reinvent strategically. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not dot-com.