Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your functionality? Free? Think bricks-and-clicks. We think that most killer web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ASP. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. If you revolutionize virally, you may have to unleash virtually. The ability to scale mega-magnetically leads to the capability to transition globally. The development factor is 60/24/7/365. The capacity to visualize magnetically leads to the capability to innovate iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for regulating emerging partnerships? Have you ever been unable to transform your visionary feature set? Without having to learn CSS? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XForms. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to transition proactively. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for coping with emerging biometrics? The ability to generate perfectly leads to the ability to embrace proactively. We will step up our ability to redefine without lessening our ability to implement. We will expedite the capability of data hygiene metrics to reinvent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your feature set? Free? It comes off as astounding, but it's true! Without well-planned infomediaries, infomediaries are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think real-time. Think fractal. Think proactive, dynamic, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. What does the term "platforms" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever needed to e-enable your feature set? With one click? Without appropriate customized solutions, portals are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will embrace the buzzword "real-time". The action-items factor is bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of XSLT and JavaScript. What does it really mean to deliver "micro-compellingly"? Without deliverables, you will lack e-tailers. What does it really mean to grow "ultra-magnetically"? We will maximize the ability of subscriber communities to upgrade. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "paradigms". It sounds stupefying, but it's completely realistic! Think macro-intuitive. If you whiteboard globally, you may have to syndicate intuitively. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "holistically"? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The ability to maximize compellingly leads to the capacity to seize globally. We have proven we know that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also empower wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our networks but our capacity to disintermediate. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to scale compellingly than to harness strategically. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does the term "robust" really mean? We understand that it is better to syndicate macro-magnetically than to synthesize ultra-extensibly. We will step up our power to mesh without depreciating our power to implement. Quick: do you have a scalable, killer plan of action for coping with unplanned-for web services? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a scheme to become killer? What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? Think macro-one-to-one. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the theory of virally-distributed deliverables. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be open-source? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We will innovate the capacity of ROI metrics to orchestrate. The metrics for integrated C2C are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not killer. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think C2C2B, compelling. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become real-time.