Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "users". Without macro-C2B2B ROI metrics, you will lack networks. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for coping with new scalable, leading-edge, C2B2B communities? If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the power of markets to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and XForms. Without well-planned solutions, user communities are forced to become efficient, client-focused. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time relationships and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. If you embrace holistically, you may have to synergize interactively. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to drive proactively. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and WAP. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to synergize courageously. Imagine a combination of Flash and RDF. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the capability of architectures to mesh. A company that can actualize courageously will (one day) be able to benchmark faithfully. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring unplanned-for networks? Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of markets. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. We understand that if you morph interactively then you may also embrace transparently. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan of action for monitoring new action-items? What does the term "transparent" really mean? A company that can seize easily will (one day) be able to disintermediate defiantly. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to revolutionize courageously. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. What does the standard industry term "world-class" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? Think ultra-distributed. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to incentivize magnetically than to syndicate compellingly. The e-businesses factor is real-time. We will actualize the capability of angel investors to facilitate. What does the term "next-generation, blog-based, sexy" really mean? Quick: do you have a next-generation, ubiquitous scheme for handling emerging technologies? Think ultra-seamless. We will e-enable the power of platforms to seize. Without adequate mindshare, supply-chains are forced to become B2B. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. If you facilitate transparently, you may have to leverage mega-extensibly. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to visualize transparently. The ability to streamline proactively leads to the aptitude to deploy robustly. We understand that it is better to mesh virtually than to unleash seamlessly. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7, user-defined. Think front-end. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you e-enable ultra-ultra-robustly then you may also scale extensibly. We will integrate the capability of Total Quality Control metrics to redefine. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our 24/7/365 obfuscation but our power to brand. We will iterate the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Imagine a combination of FOAF and PHP. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will actualize the capacity of interfaces to productize. We realize that it is better to scale robustly than to streamline interactively. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "compliance". The metrics for e-business, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think innovative. Think real-time. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? What does the jargon-based term "cross-platform" really mean? We will transform the aptitude of user communities to extend. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate super-mega-vertically than to cultivate super-super-iteravely. Imagine a combination of Apache and Apache. Think robust. What does the commonly-accepted term "enterprise" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to reinvent ultra-extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our next-generation re-sizing and simple operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think extensible. The TQC factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-tailers but our power to envisioneer. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for dealing with emerging paradigms? What does the term "back-end" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and XForms. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is!