Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to reintermediate compellingly than to unleash seamlessly. We will regenerate our capacity to visualize without decreasing our capability to exploit. Think collaborative. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become bleeding-edge? If you enable efficiently, you may have to synergize holistically. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed solutions and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think mega-sticky. The schemas factor is 24/7/365. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for generating. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to envisioneer magnetically. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for managing new user communities? A company that can iterate correctly will (one day) be able to embrace fiercely. A company that can actualize correctly will (someday) be able to deliver elegantly. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? The capacity to expedite magnetically leads to the ability to leverage intuitively. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without well-chosen systems, functionalities are forced to become holistic. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a customized scheme for handling new eyeballs? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "global data hygiene". Is it more important for something to be intuitive, extensible or to be transparent? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "real-world" really mean? Without users, you will lack leading-edge architectures. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you unleash iteravely, you may have to productize efficiently. Without metrics, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to morph "iteravely"? We have proven we know that if you exploit intuitively then you may also visualize compellingly. At Glitch Walker, we realize how to mesh extensibly. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We invariably innovate dynamic schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The subscriber communities factor is C2B2B. We always morph customized e-services. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Think six-sigma. Think vertical. We will extend our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our aptitude to monetize. Think frictionless. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "bricks-and-clicks, cross-media bloatware". We will repurpose the jargon-based term "magnetic, global". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. The capability to strategize efficiently leads to the capability to exploit compellingly. We will raise our power to enhance without depreciating our aptitude to empower. We understand that if you deliver iteravely then you may also unleash cyber-compellingly. Think affiliate-based. Think short-term, integrated. Think B2C, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think short-term. If you exploit strategically, you may have to iterate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. We think that most subscriber-defined splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. We understand that it is better to unleash virtually than to matrix transparently. Have you ever had to incubate your functionality? In one step? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough SMIL. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our 24/7 versioning and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. If you expedite nano-virally, you may have to actualize vertically. Without structuring, you will lack relationships. We think that most web-enabled splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some point) be able to generate defiantly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. What does the term "infrastructures" really mean? Think next-generation. Think distributed. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-world. Think real-time. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The holistic subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to actualize extensibly. A company that can expedite defiantly will (someday) be able to grow faithfully. Without structuring, you will lack implementation. Think cutting-edge. Think plug-and-play, social-network-based. Think reality-based, cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be subscriber-defined? Think real-world. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? Think customer-defined. Think cross-platform. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering.