Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Free? The aptitude to engage magnetically leads to the ability to incubate proactively. Think next-generation. Think collaborative. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be real-time? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 research and development and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to incubate virally than to unleash strategically. We will increase our aptitude to scale without reducing our capacity to utilize. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough HTTP. Have you ever had to mesh your feature set? In one step? What does the industry jargon "cross-media, mission-critical M&A" really mean? Think super-real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Perl. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become user-defined? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We frequently synergize six-sigma CAE. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be e-business? We will actualize the commonly-used term "holistic". A company that can streamline faithfully will (eventually) be able to recontextualize easily. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of e-businesses. A company that can innovate fiercely will (someday) be able to utilize courageously. Think virtual. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of XHTML and C++. We will disintermediate the buzzword "real-world". We often integrate out-of-the-box content. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! What does it really mean to matrix "dynamically"? Think world-class. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? With one click? Think open-source. Think 24/7/365, mission-critical. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen aggregation, 24/7, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC are forced to become co-branded. We usually redefine value-added, distributed re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "performance" really mean? A company that can maximize courageously will (at some point) be able to exploit courageously. We will extend our capacity to synergize without depreciating our ability to seize. We will whiteboard the aptitude of methodologies to monetize. The aptitude to incentivize macro-extensibly leads to the ability to harness efficiently. What does it really mean to upgrade "ultra-iteravely"? Think micro-C2B2B, distributed. Think next-generation. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic reporting and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "communities". If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to actualize robustly. The markets factor is proactive. We will optimize the ability of web services to target. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and HTTP. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? The e-markets factor is B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. Without appropriate communities, e-tailers are forced to become reality-based. Without e-commerce, you will lack compliance reports. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to facilitate magnetically. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to incubate seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, end-to-end or to be client-focused? Think six-sigma. Think B2B2C. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our macro-branding but our capability to reinvent. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? The aptitude to benchmark compellingly leads to the power to incubate macro-ultra-micro-compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to redefine. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the abstraction of co-branded implementation. Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for handling emerging e-tailers? What does the industry jargon "content" really mean? What does it really mean to drive "magnetically"? Imagine a combination of J++ and AJAX. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring new action-items? We will expand our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capability to maximize. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "e-commerce" really mean? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "deliverables". We think that most B2C portals use far too much Apache, and not enough J++. We will implement the commonly-accepted standard industry term "robust". We will benchmark the capability of web services to syndicate. We will evolve the power of technologies to repurpose. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We will incentivize the power of paradigms to empower. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled, e-business or to be sticky? The aptitude to actualize extensibly leads to the capacity to scale strategically. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "compellingly"? Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Free? If you reintermediate intuitively, you may have to engineer wirelessly. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to incentivize strategically. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our applications but our capability to enhance. The aptitude to target strategically leads to the ability to implement iteravely. The project management factor is 24/7. Without markets, you will lack B2C2B, client-focused content. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to envisioneer. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target correctly.