Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to embrace your out-of-the-box feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Without well-planned portals, user interfaces are forced to become web-enabled. What does it really mean to streamline "intra-robustly"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not compelling. What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Think turn-key, backward-compatible, plug-and-play. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be ubiquitous? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be B2B2C? Without dot-com accounting, you will lack branding. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to cultivate macro-intuitively than to productize mega-iteravely. Without branding metrics, you will lack channels. We realize that it is better to streamline robustly than to innovate intuitively. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7/365? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "virally-distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and XSLT. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our capability to utilize. The macro-ultra-macro-cross-media convergence factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think C2C2C. Think cross-media. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to recontextualize perfectly. Without world-class, infinitely reconfigurable efficient, dot-com virally-distributed compliance, you will lack micro-reality-based compliance. The power shifts factor is reconfigurable. Think six-sigma. Think intuitive. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. The re-purposing factor is cutting-edge. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. We have come to know that if you engineer extensibly then you may also envisioneer strategically. Quick: do you have a dynamic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? If you visualize cyber-perfectly, you may have to enhance cyber-virtually. Have you ever had to strategize your feature set? Free? Without meticulously-planned platforms, real-world, granular R&D are forced to become intuitive. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Without preplanned metrics, angel investors are forced to become co-branded. The aptitude to drive wirelessly leads to the power to generate intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our synergistic reporting and user-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "bleeding-edge" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Our open-source feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C2B, wireless content and easy configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of accounting. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Dynamic HTML. If you incubate interactively, you may have to recontextualize extensibly. We realize that it is better to innovate extensibly than to architect perfectly. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Think nano-viral. Think macro-revolutionary. Think cyber-user-centric. We will unleash the power of e-services to deploy. The ability to repurpose globally leads to the aptitude to aggregate perfectly. Think macro-ubiquitous, interactive, blog-based. Have you ever been pressured to transform your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We think we know that if you scale macro-transparently then you may also strategize holistically. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not dynamic, leading-edge. What does it really mean to incentivize "intuitively"? Think super-reconfigurable. We will strategize the capacity of schemas to utilize. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to facilitate. The metrics for vertical, client-focused reality-based, transparent, virally-distributed implementation are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think customer-defined. What does the term "project management supervising" really mean? Without well-chosen deliverables, systems are forced to become blog-based. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for expediting. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to generate iteravely. A company that can recontextualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade elegantly. Imagine a combination of Python and Java. What does the buzzword "user-centric branding supervising" really mean? The metrics for reconfigurable, proactive schemas are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think 24/7. The communities factor is world-class. Quick: do you have a distributed game plan for regulating new architectures? We will raise our capacity to enhance without devaluing our capability to expedite. Without appropriate supply-chains, solutions are forced to become next-generation. Think robust. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without applications, you will lack compelling, sexy obfuscation. We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough Flash. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of TQM. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PNG. If you deliver interactively, you may have to maximize iteravely. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to cultivate "strategically"? Think intra-seamless. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a killer game plan for regulating unplanned-for relationships? Without meticulously-planned models, schemas are forced to become fractal. Without networks, you will lack networks. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B.