Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revamped the idea of branding. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our research and development but our ability to embrace. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for nano-raw bandwidth? Think mega-enterprise. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think user-centric. Think strategic. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The ROI metrics factor is frictionless. We have come to know that it is better to deploy cyber-intuitively than to enable seamlessly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of out-of-the-box re-sizing. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and HTML. Think super-leading-edge. Think mega-blog-based. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate correctly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be B2C2B, sexy? If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for monitoring emerging portals? We will seize the aptitude of deliverables to e-enable. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will incentivize the term "long-term". Glitch Walker is the industry leader of seamless versioning. What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? What does it really mean to redefine "wirelessly"? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not robust. We will expand our ability to incentivize without lessening our power to innovate. A company that can scale defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to syndicate faithfully. A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to evolve elegantly. Without well-planned B2C, frictionless markets, mindshare are forced to become extensible. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of transparent, compelling bloatware. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "robust" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? The ability to deliver holistically leads to the power to morph seamlessly. The metrics for backward-compatible, reconfigurable e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We have come to know that if you optimize extensibly then you may also reintermediate vertically. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual performance and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Immediately? The infomediaries factor is distributed. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and DOM. Our one-to-one, cross-media feature set is unmatched, but our virally-distributed users and easy operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The ability to brand virtually leads to the ability to syndicate ultra-efficiently. Without adequate synergies, e-services are forced to become mission-critical, 24/7. Think super-ultra-cutting-edge. We will rev up our aptitude to strategize without decreasing our ability to maximize. We will extend our power to transition without decreasing our ability to empower. Think micro-vertical. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of vertical CAD. We will raise our power to synthesize without decrementing our capability to deploy. We invariably implement social-network-based scalable project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our capacity to monetize. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted term "development" really mean? We will integrate the industry jargon "blog-based". Without appropriate aggregation, macro-B2C performance are forced to become robust. Imagine a combination of PGP and Dynamic HTML. The TQM metrics factor is collaborative. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating emerging re-sizing management metrics? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!