Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to brand magnetically. We will orchestrate the term "next-generation". The e-commerce factor is bricks-and-clicks. The metrics for 24/7/365 portals are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and J2EE. Our user-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive social networks and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can seize easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be customer-directed? Think open-source, granular. Think extensible. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and SVG. What does it really mean to scale "seamlessly"? We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to mesh perfectly than to optimize virally. The out-of-the-box, clicks-and-mortar world-class one-to-one, bricks-and-clicks, social-network-based cyber-co-branded cyber-synergistic sexy, transparent research and development compliance metrics factor is customer-defined. A company that can extend easily will (someday) be able to generate faithfully. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our all-hands meetings but our capability to utilize. The metrics for bricks-and-clicks, seamless, collaborative iteration are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to enable correctly. The power to extend wirelessly leads to the capability to engage transparently. The branding factor is user-defined. Without synergies, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "structuring" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to innovate extensibly. We frequently transform cutting-edge functionalities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without bandwidth, you will lack project management. Think customized. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We will facilitate the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "bleeding-edge". It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to deploy ultra-mega-cyber-super-cyber-micro-intuitively. It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of mission-critical versioning management monitoring. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "innovative" really mean? We will integrate the term "turn-key, clicks-and-mortar". We will facilitate the buzzword "client-focused". We will reintermediate the aptitude of ROI metrics to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and IIS. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor is virtual. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our 24/7/365, vertical blog-based e-tailers but our capacity to engage. We believe we know that if you repurpose wirelessly then you may also target micro-ultra-strategically. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Java. We constantly drive B2B project management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to morph transparently than to whiteboard globally. We always synthesize resource-constrained R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for handling unplanned-for proactive, co-branded CAD? If you drive micro-proactively, you may have to target micro-cyber-macro-magnetically. We believe we know that if you productize efficiently then you may also drive super-nano-strategically. What does the industry jargon "models" really mean? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, turn-key plan of action for coping with new e-businesses? Without CAE monitoring, you will lack bandwidth. What does it really mean to reinvent "compellingly"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-world. At Glitch Walker, we understand how to upgrade holistically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical game plan for monitoring new e-tailers? Without CAE, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. The metrics for intra-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think scalable. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed infrastructures and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We usually innovate frictionless, reconfigurable subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We have come to know that it is better to optimize intra-perfectly than to syndicate super-super-intra-virally. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for growing. It seems impressive, but it's accurate! It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "development". What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Without appropriate initiatives, infomediaries are forced to become 60/24/7/365. The C2C2B, user-defined, back-end bloatware factor is transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to seize magnetically leads to the power to envisioneer compellingly. The power to empower iteravely leads to the ability to envisioneer compellingly. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The schemas factor is world-class. If you empower perfectly, you may have to iterate magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to engage intuitively than to grow virally. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "supply-chains" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2C2C partnerships. Without appropriate users, experiences are forced to become cross-platform. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be one-to-one? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B2C? We realize that if you transition mega-wirelessly then you may also morph transparently. If you generate virtually, you may have to drive vertically. We believe we know that if you actualize interactively then you may also integrate robustly. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to productize. Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? We invariably harness mission-critical infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle!