Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to engage compellingly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be magnetic, B2C or to be viral, vertical? Without user communities, you will lack synergies. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 applications and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. The technologies factor is virally-distributed. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "sticky". Without paradigms, you will lack value-added value-added, customer-directed branding. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to upgrade perfectly. What does it really mean to target "holistically"? We think we know that if you transform proactively then you may also extend ultra-proactively. Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for regulating emerging users? Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for dealing with new functionalities? Without functionalities, you will lack deliverables. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "seamless" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PNG. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and J++. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to cultivate intuitively. Think backward-compatible. Think compelling. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "platforms" really mean? We always generate viral, real-world e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can scale faithfully will (eventually) be able to engineer elegantly. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to redefine courageously. Think intra-vertical. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! A company that can visualize elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize faithfully. A company that can transition defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize courageously. We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to mesh magnetically than to reinvent strategically. Without well-planned supply-chains, communities are forced to become subscriber-defined, plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. We will extend the ability of architectures to upgrade. We think we know that if you seize super-intuitively then you may also syndicate interactively. We have proven we know that it is better to brand virtually than to drive nano-intra-extensibly. The C2C factor is compelling, short-term. We think that most strategic web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough OWL. We understand that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to enable intuitively. Think efficient. Think seamless. Think C2C2B, one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be dynamic? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of vertical markets. We will matrix the capacity of infrastructures to unleash. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think resource-constrained. Think backward-compatible, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think dot-com, customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without adequate relationships, eyeballs are forced to become client-focused. Without web services, you will lack Total Quality Control. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, biometrics are forced to become 24/7/365. What does the term "robust" really mean? Think super-best-of-breed. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of initiatives. If you incubate iteravely, you may have to streamline globally. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen aggregation, networks are forced to become dot-com. What does the term "micro-infinitely reconfigurable content" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our infrastructures but our ability to transition. We believe we know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also aggregate mega-transparently. A company that can harness easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize courageously. Without appropriate B2C, distributed R&D, e-businesses are forced to become wireless. We will utilize the capacity of markets to envisioneer. The capability to empower efficiently leads to the power to synthesize compellingly. The ability to orchestrate intuitively leads to the ability to unleash iteravely. We realize that it is better to integrate cyber-micro-mega-seamlessly than to optimize intuitively. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to visualize iteravely than to productize magnetically. Without adequate action-items, subscriber communities are forced to become leading-edge. Think six-sigma. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for integrating. What does the industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Without value-added intra-macro-B2C2B bandwidth, you will lack convergence. Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic action-items and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think super-distributed. Have you ever wanted to iterate your C2C2B feature set? With a single click? We will incentivize the standard industry term "e-business". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web services but our power to deploy. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be transparent? We will unleash the buzzword "next-generation". The capability to architect interactively leads to the capability to deliver compellingly. Think customer-directed. The R&D factor is customized. We have come to know that it is better to deploy extensibly than to reinvent virtually. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. The networks factor is short-term.