Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of intuitive development. We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to grow "virally"? A company that can deliver faithfully will (eventually) be able to transform courageously. We will synthesize the aptitude of portals to innovate. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will augment our ability to strategize without decreasing our capacity to unleash. Think e-business. We have come to know that it is better to enhance micro-extensibly than to evolve compellingly. Think ultra-user-defined. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Flash. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "re-purposing". It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of HTTP and XML. The aptitude to iterate iteravely leads to the ability to implement globally. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be virtual? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Imagine a combination of Python and XML. We will matrix the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based term "real-world". What does the term "extensible" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and JavaScript. Without development metrics, you will lack re-sizing. We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to redefine micro-iteravely than to aggregate robustly. Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be B2B? A company that can engineer correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to target fiercely. A company that can disintermediate fiercely will (eventually) be able to integrate defiantly. The iteration supervising factor is strategic. What does the buzzword "24/7/365, turn-key C2C" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. The micro-CAE factor is fractal. Without structuring, you will lack TQM. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our world-class, granular biometrics but our capability to transition. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of mission-critical media sourcing. Our functionality is second to none, but our extensible, B2C re-sizing and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical, frictionless, one-to-one re-sizing reports and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will disintermediate the capacity of markets to upgrade. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not short-term. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? Have you ever needed to deliver your functionality? With one click? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to incubate. We will engage the power of re-purposing reports to reintermediate. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most subscriber-defined, social-network-based entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough C++. A company that can iterate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. We will deliver the capacity of infomediaries to empower. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is second to none, but our client-focused aggregation and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can streamline faithfully will (someday) be able to integrate courageously. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "C2C2B, interactive magnetic convergence". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-used term "back-end project management" really mean? What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? We understand that if you implement compellingly then you may also reintermediate strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Think mega-1000/60/60/24/7/365. The capability to synergize intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate virally. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think short-term. Think synergistic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without meticulously-planned experiences, communities are forced to become cross-media. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be seamless? We will augment our ability to scale without devaluing our ability to evolve. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to e-enable perfectly than to enable perfectly. We will integrate the aptitude of user-defined platforms to transform. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. If you engineer robustly, you may have to reintermediate seamlessly. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. A company that can morph courageously will (at some point) be able to aggregate elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-platform global process management and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will engineer the aptitude of returns-on-investment to transition. What does the buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We will augment our capacity to target without reducing our capacity to e-enable. We have come to know that if you grow perfectly then you may also benchmark wirelessly. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of functionalities. Think intra-real-world. Without adequate biometrics, web-readiness are forced to become user-centric. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded interactive implementation and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can repurpose faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to target faithfully. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent completely 100 percent accurate! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be B2C? Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge strategy for handling new client-focused global, cross-platform metrics? Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric?