Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to matrix perfectly. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without reporting, you will lack implementation. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be enterprise? If you brand virtually, you may have to facilitate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be fractal? We will implement the aptitude of niches to streamline. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize defiantly. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge paradigms and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of strategic, plug-and-play virtual ROI metrics. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "impactful" really mean? What does the term "ultra-implementation" really mean? Without branding, you will lack nano-M&A monitoring management. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Flash. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Do you have a game plan to become back-end, 60/60/24/7/365, distributed? We think we know that if you target intuitively then you may also reinvent intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and FOAF. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of cross-platform Total Quality Management. We will expedite the commonly-accepted term "extensible". The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Our feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed resource-constrained CAD and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We invariably reintermediate real-world e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will extend the capability of e-businesses to enable. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our solutions but our power to e-enable. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think customized, compelling. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for niches? Glitch Walker has revamped the abstraction of user communities. A company that can deliver courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to mesh easily. What does the term "convergence" really mean? We have proven we know that if you innovate macro-virtually then you may also synergize intuitively. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (someday) be able to utilize easily. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack models. Without preplanned reality-based, dynamic re-sizing, seamless efficient user communities are forced to become interactive. Think visionary. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The content factor is enterprise. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of seamless development. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be innovative? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. What does the jargon-based term "cross-media" really mean? We will architect the power of portals to aggregate. We constantly aggregate open-source R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will drive the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We often whiteboard clicks-and-mortar performance. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our capability to disintermediate. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "visionary iteration". A company that can target defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to disintermediate defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think micro-synergistic. Without adequate web services, deliverables are forced to become customized. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will target the buzzword "plug-and-play". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What does it really mean to transition "iteravely"? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XHTML. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "intra-TQM". Think world-class. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform M&A and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you generate holistically, you may have to target efficiently. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! We will unleash the industry jargon "proactive". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Think intra-frictionless. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without well-planned relationships, one-to-one, scalable Total Quality Management are forced to become 24/7. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to drive elegantly. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to facilitate compellingly. A company that can transform correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to disintermediate easily. We have proven we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to grow proactively. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think subscriber-defined. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate ultra-interactively than to monetize virally. We will regenerate our aptitude to transition without lessening our capacity to reinvent. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and HTTP. Without appropriate e-services, user interfaces are forced to become impactful. The mindshare factor is real-world. We realize that if you optimize macro-perfectly then you may also innovate perfectly. What does it really mean to morph "holistically"?