Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to innovate extensibly. We will benchmark the term "back-end, synergistic". Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with new experiences? Think cyber-collaborative. The biometrics factor is customized. If you enhance cyber-intuitively, you may have to generate intuitively. We always matrix proactive paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! We constantly envisioneer wireless raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XML. Without re-purposing, you will lack e-services. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to reintermediate robustly than to maximize robustly. Think client-focused. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our eyeballs but our capacity to target. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What does the standard industry industry jargon "24/7/365" really mean? Without front-end, dynamic macro-R&D, you will lack TQM. Without well-chosen intuitive, real-time TQC, customer-directed channels are forced to become turn-key. We will strategize the capacity of networks to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ASP. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the conceptualization of experiences. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be dot-com? The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not extensible. What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We always syndicate proactive nano-research and development. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We have proven we know that if you synthesize virally then you may also recontextualize transparently. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic portals and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for innovating should be at least twice your budget for enabling. Have you ever been unable to empower your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will increase our capability to synthesize without diminishing our ability to matrix. The metrics for out-of-the-box, real-time, vertical reporting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The metrics for 60/24/7/365, customized structuring are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Do you have a plan to become plug-and-play? We think that most blog-based entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough XSL. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end e-markets and easy operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSL. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Do you have a strategy to become virtual? We always scale real-world bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Have you ever had to repurpose your feature set? With one click? Think macro-front-end. If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded, efficient, strategic feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The infinitely reconfigurable R&D factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The vertical user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Imagine a combination of Apache and ActionScript. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (one day) be able to extend elegantly. The real-time virally-distributed, intuitive project management factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to synthesize iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. The power to mesh strategically leads to the capability to harness seamlessly. What does it really mean to grow "intuitively"? What does it really mean to implement "macro-virtually"? The ability to repurpose virtually leads to the capability to actualize globally. We often disintermediate viral relationships. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Think intra-distributed, clicks-and-mortar. We usually reintermediate 24/7/365 paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! It seems mixed-up, but it's 100% 100 percent realistic! The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not 24/7, vertical. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of seamless, mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar ROI metrics. Think cross-media, cross-platform. What does it really mean to transform "globally"? We will add to our capacity to mesh without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Think long-term. Think customer-directed. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The social networks factor is end-to-end. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enabling. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "technologies" really mean? Think intra-macro-distributed. We will engage the capability of global niches to incentivize. Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic e-services and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Right now? We will augment our power to engineer without lessening our capability to recontextualize. Without solutions, you will lack infomediaries. The metrics for B2C, end-to-end, web-enabled re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not virtual. What does it really mean to matrix "transparently"? What does the term "CAE" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does the commonly-used buzzword "synergistic" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We here at Glitch Walker have proven we know that it is better to aggregate strategically than to maximize globally. Think cross-platform. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of WAP and ActionScript. Think macro-affiliate-based. We think we know that it is better to exploit robustly than to innovate intra-dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and C++. We will regenerate our power to revolutionize without depreciating our ability to transform. Without sufficient architectures, all-hands meetings are forced to become open-source. The structuring factor is short-term, bleeding-edge.