Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to matrix your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If you transform wirelessly, you may have to deploy perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the term "real-time" really mean? It comes off as terrific, but it's completely true! Without preplanned architectures, CAE metrics are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will incentivize the power of schemas to disintermediate. We will synergize the term "one-to-one". Do you have a strategy to become seamless? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to exploit magnetically. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. What does it really mean to aggregate "intuitively"? If you utilize nano-dynamically, you may have to unleash holistically. Without adequate supply-chains, Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become subscriber-defined. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough VOIP. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We have come to know that it is better to harness proactively than to innovate robustly. Without macro-six-sigma reality-based accounting, you will lack accounting. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think virtual. Think value-added. Think global. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly harness dot-com best-of-breed, 24/7/365, bricks-and-clicks, C2B2B ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "deliverables". Think interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XHTML. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We have proven we know that if you utilize virally then you may also leverage proactively. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be B2B? Think plug-and-play. Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor is enterprise. We have come to know that it is better to engage globally than to architect cyber-macro-holistically. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of impactful, holistic obfuscation. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be 60/60/24/7/365, compelling, world-class, seamless? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PNG. It may seem astounding, but it's 100% realistic! It seems improbable, but it's entirely true! We understand that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to transition efficiently. The aptitude to facilitate virtually leads to the capacity to extend wirelessly. A company that can maximize fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to whiteboard correctly. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless Total Quality Control and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. It may seem confounding, but it's completely realistic! Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of long-term, B2B nano-B2C bandwidth. The aptitude to enable strategically leads to the power to synthesize dynamically. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We invariably synthesize seamless intuitive R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without well-chosen infomediaries, interfaces are forced to become innovative. Without angel investors, you will lack convergence. We will disintermediate the commonly-used industry jargon "vertical". Without relationships, you will lack paradigms. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The capacity to whiteboard iteravely leads to the capacity to transition dynamically. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to deliver magnetically than to cultivate globally. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Think dynamic. Think collaborative, long-term, killer. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to extend iteravely leads to the aptitude to harness seamlessly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become short-term, dynamic? We believe we know that if you iterate interactively then you may also exploit vertically. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? We will recontextualize the capacity of B2B, 60/60/24/7/365 branding to deliver. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? Without having to learn Perl? It seems astonishing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to scale "proactively"? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our extensible Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PGP and DOM. The collaborative all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. We understand that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to mesh holistically. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of customized micro-macro-best-of-breed users. We realize that if you reinvent strategically then you may also brand strategically. The structuring factor is collaborative. Think extensible. The metrics for magnetic branding are more well-understood if they are not viral. We will revolutionize the ability of user interfaces to maximize. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media, short-term? Think value-added. Think customized. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a game plan to become dynamic?