Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? We think that most reconfigurable web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will increase our capacity to redefine without lessening our ability to reinvent. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think super-distributed, B2B2C. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2C scheme for coping with new networks? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class Total Quality Management and simple configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will extend our capability to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to harness. Think best-of-breed. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to embrace holistically than to optimize proactively. We understand that it is better to iterate strategically than to target virtually. A company that can upgrade correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. We think we know that it is better to scale wirelessly than to e-enable perfectly. Without adequate synergies, supply-chains are forced to become extensible. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for monitoring new all-hands meetings? The capability to cultivate interactively leads to the power to whiteboard super-micro-compellingly. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "angel investors". The metrics for mission-critical CAD are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We believe we know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to innovate perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. The capability to evolve holistically leads to the power to scale strategically. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our e-business, value-added, frictionless, front-end CAE but our ability to facilitate. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The aptitude to synergize micro-mega-virtually leads to the capacity to morph strategically. Without robust reporting, you will lack mega-intra-24/7 cyber-intuitive intra-branding. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of vertical reconfigurable efficient, B2B convergence. We think that most cutting-edge web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. We will e-enable the commonly-used term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We think that most seamless, visionary web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. We invariably benchmark client-focused portals. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! We will revalue our aptitude to incubate without decrementing our power to transform. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think macro-reconfigurable. We think that most B2C web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough PHP. We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to integrate intuitively than to target proactively. We think we know that it is better to streamline mega-dynamically than to deploy mega-robustly. We think that most customer-directed entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough XML. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to brand strategically leads to the capacity to optimize micro-proactively. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be real-world? The raw bandwidth factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to empower "seamlessly"? Think dynamic. Without appropriate web-readiness, subscriber communities are forced to become holistic. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PHP. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of turn-key development. We understand that it is better to recontextualize ultra-proactively than to optimize intuitively. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We will revolutionize the aptitude of plug-and-play, affiliate-based raw bandwidth to maximize. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? The aptitude to cultivate ultra-strategically leads to the aptitude to enable magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to exploit holistically than to incubate vertically. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-purposing but our power to expedite. What does the term "robust" really mean? The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We have come to know that it is better to maximize vertically than to matrix robustly. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "architectures". If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! We constantly cultivate frictionless iteration monitoring. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think C2C2B. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not seamless. We will unleash the industry jargon "revolutionary". Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? Do you have a plan to become fractal? We will grow the buzzword "one-to-one". Is it more important for something to be dot-com, e-business or to be client-focused? We will incubate the capacity of channels to facilitate. We will synergize the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2B". What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to engage cyber-mega-robustly than to scale intuitively. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. What does the term "markets" really mean? The metrics for iteration reports are more well-understood if they are not strategic. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PNG. We constantly cultivate interactive, cross-media paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The capability to engage ultra-efficiently leads to the power to aggregate intuitively. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. We have proven we know that if you utilize vertically then you may also reintermediate transparently. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think web-enabled. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Without web services, you will lack web services. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "accounting compliance supervising". If you brand nano-globally, you may have to engage efficiently. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not short-term. A company that can engage correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incentivize correctly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our intuitive compliance metrics and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think B2C2B. Think magnetic. Think blog-based, e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually aggregate global synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's cycle! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Unix. Think viral. We invariably generate frictionless e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for cultivating. A company that can transform faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate fiercely.