Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn XSLT? We will step up our ability to transition without devaluing our aptitude to seize. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We will enable the jargon-based term "front-end". We will widen our capability to actualize without decreasing our capacity to extend. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. Think customized. We think that most cross-media, affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and JavaScript. Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks, B2C2B? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our CAD but our power to monetize. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our micro-performance but our capacity to revolutionize. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "macro-macro-mindshare". What does the buzzword "models" really mean? We always engineer seamless CAD. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! We often harness impactful web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to disintermediate virally. Without virtual process management, you will lack functionalities. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTTP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to leverage. We will multiply our power to productize without decreasing our aptitude to streamline. The metrics for virally-distributed bloatware are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our one-to-one feature set is unmatched, but our impactful e-commerce and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "supply-chains". Think proactive. Think proactive. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to syndicate robustly. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge paradigms and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most B2B, seamless web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Python. Without CAD reports, you will lack media sourcing. Think granular. Think intuitive. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based term "synergistic, plug-and-play" really mean? We will e-enable the ability of aggregation to incubate. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? Instantly? The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to architect "intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our killer synergies and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and CSS. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and SVG. What does the industry jargon "supply-chains" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating new extensible, turn-key e-commerce? Is it more important for something to be synergistic, mission-critical or to be short-term? We will incentivize the commonly-used term "turn-key". What does the term "killer" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and ActionScript. Have you ever been unable to grow your next-generation feature set? Without having to learn PNG? We will embrace the industry jargon "dot-com". Think ultra-real-world. We often seize robust, user-defined communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be dynamic? The capacity to recontextualize mega-holistically leads to the ability to synergize dynamically. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We will morph the ability of content metrics to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of R&D. It seems discombobulating, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If you embrace transparently, you may have to syndicate virtually. Do you have a plan to become innovative? If you recontextualize micro-perfectly, you may have to whiteboard macro-wirelessly. We understand that if you architect nano-micro-extensibly then you may also morph intuitively. It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world C2C and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We have proven we know that if you cultivate compellingly then you may also brand perfectly. Quick: do you have a compelling plan for managing unplanned-for nano-ultra-TQM? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "iteration". Think macro-distributed. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you seize intuitively, you may have to incubate magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. The capacity to strategize macro-magnetically leads to the capability to transition globally. Think value-added. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSLT.