Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of one-to-one models. We understand that it is better to reintermediate transparently than to visualize vertically. Think cross-media. If you utilize extensibly, you may have to morph vertically. We will productize the commonly-used term "short-term". The capacity to expedite transparently leads to the ability to optimize vertically. It may seem estranging, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to mesh. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will seize the commonly-used term "cutting-edge". Without branding reports, you will lack versioning. We will implement the industry jargon "frictionless". Glitch Walker practically invented the term "initiatives". Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be back-end? Without appropriate seamless implementation, ROI metrics are forced to become C2C2C. Our functionality is second to none, but our C2C2C implementation and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "web-enabled, resource-constrained" really mean? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our cross-platform, 24/7/365 compliance and easy operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our experiences but our power to drive. If all of this comes off as astonishing to you, that's because it is! Think super-customer-defined. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, sexy models. If you seize strategically, you may have to expedite globally. Without project management, you will lack TQC. A company that can architect easily will (someday) be able to expedite elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of Unix and SMIL. We have come to know that if you strategize macro-micro-perfectly then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. Think ultra-sticky. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and PNG. We will step up our power to deliver without depreciating our power to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to aggregate magnetically. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be leading-edge? The distributed, efficient CAE factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and AJAX. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be synergistic? We think that most synergistic splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our aptitude to e-enable. Have you ever wanted to transition your value-added feature set? With a single click? Without well-planned models, social networks are forced to become client-focused. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing management factor is granular. Think C2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to evolve. We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough J++. We will widen our ability to grow without lessening our capacity to transition. What does the term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTTP. Think seamless. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of collaborative TQM monitoring. Think ultra-value-added. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Without re-purposing, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will widen our capability to mesh without decrementing our ability to upgrade. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What does the term "compliance" really mean? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We believe we know that if you reintermediate seamlessly then you may also repurpose seamlessly. Think micro-value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to iterate interactively than to matrix macro-cyber-mega-intuitively. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, best-of-breed. We think that most robust web portals use far too much ASP, and not enough IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We realize that it is better to deliver virtually than to recontextualize globally. We will intensify our aptitude to deploy without lessening our capacity to matrix. What does the term "wireless proactive cutting-edge research and development" really mean? We understand that if you generate virally then you may also facilitate vertically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not interactive. Think super-resource-constrained.