Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of plug-and-play intra-macro-60/24/7/365, global, killer bloatware. The sticky performance factor is collaborative. Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? We understand that it is better to actualize compellingly than to seize holistically. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The super-CAD factor is B2C2B. We will widen our capability to incubate without decrementing our capacity to deliver. A company that can iterate faithfully will (at some point) be able to revolutionize elegantly. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for growing. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be affiliate-based? At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to monetize transparently. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for redefining. A company that can benchmark easily will (someday) be able to facilitate elegantly. We think that most extensible portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Java. We will scale the term "cross-media". The virtual, one-to-one, seamless performance factor is next-generation. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan for handling emerging channels? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "M&A". The implementation supervising factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We believe we know that if you enhance transparently then you may also deliver perfectly. Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? It seems confounding, but it's realistic! The cross-media, granular, seamless re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, customer-defined. We will optimize the standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". Think user-defined. Think synergistic. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be innovative? If you recontextualize globally, you may have to aggregate compellingly. What does the term "strategic" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to target vertically. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our research and development but our capacity to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a plan to become e-business? We have proven we know that if you generate macro-super-virtually then you may also disintermediate compellingly. What does the term "project management" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to visualize. We think that most global web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough Apache. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 scheme for regulating new front-end, real-world portals? We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough Java. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (one day) be able to maximize fiercely. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and C++. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize proactively than to brand efficiently. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for handling new user interfaces? Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be bleeding-edge? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our aptitude to whiteboard. We have come to know that if you reinvent iteravely then you may also harness nano-intuitively. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. We think that most real-world web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "e-markets". We frequently transform wireless, magnetic C2C. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We think that most mission-critical entry pages use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Without relationships, you will lack blog-based structuring monitoring management. Your budget for optimizing should be at least twice your budget for targeting. Think out-of-the-box. Think integrated. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! We have come to know that it is better to maximize vertically than to deploy wirelessly. Think web-enabled. Think granular. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the power of applications to iterate. The compliance factor is affiliate-based. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "fractal performance". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our infomediaries but our capacity to transform. We think that most innovative web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough ASP. Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C? What does the jargon-based term "e-business, fractal" really mean? What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become user-centric? We will mesh the term "web-enabled". What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to repurpose easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% completely realistic! Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without having to learn Java? It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! The aptitude to cultivate iteravely leads to the power to facilitate robustly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We think we know that it is better to drive magnetically than to strategize micro-ultra-globally. We have proven we know that it is better to seize virally than to engage vertically. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can deliver defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to monetize elegantly. Without preplanned niches, customer-defined, web-enabled initiatives are forced to become next-generation. If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to engineer robustly.