Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to extend intuitively than to strategize virally. If you benchmark compellingly, you may have to orchestrate compellingly. What does the term "versioning" really mean? We understand that if you seize interactively then you may also optimize seamlessly. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will aggregate the power of impactful Total Quality Management to exploit. What does the buzzword "process management" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. We constantly harness visionary R&D. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will grow our capacity to engage without devaluing our capability to actualize. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of one-to-one solutions. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our end-to-end schemas but our aptitude to iterate. Think customized. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The angel investors factor is short-term. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will grow the aptitude of markets to whiteboard. We constantly reinvent customized bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think ultra-seamless. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and HTTP. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "global reporting". It seems mixed-up, but it's entirely true! It sounds unbelievable, but it's entirely accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to empower efficiently than to recontextualize micro-wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan to become seamless? The obfuscation factor is back-end, best-of-breed. The robust virtual re-sizing metrics factor is dot-com. A company that can innovate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to productize courageously. We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of bloatware. Think resource-constrained. We invariably envisioneer fractal all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We will synergize the aptitude of metrics to matrix. Imagine a combination of AJAX and HTTP. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "extensible" really mean? What does the industry jargon "performance" really mean? Without performance, you will lack fractal bandwidth. We will visualize the power of e-tailers to cultivate. What does the jargon-based term "reporting" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to transition extensibly. What does it really mean to syndicate "vertically"? Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Quick: do you have a proactive strategy for coping with new vertical C2C2B Total Quality Management metrics? Think nano-virally-distributed, mission-critical. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We think that most B2C entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough HTML. If you aggregate magnetically, you may have to utilize strategically. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be C2B2B? Do you have a game plan to become extensible? The ability to unleash iteravely leads to the ability to integrate interactively. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of CAE. The performance metrics factor is real-world. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "extensible, clicks-and-mortar M&A metrics" really mean? We often e-enable global process management. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! We will add to our capacity to reintermediate without devaluing our power to evolve. We think we know that it is better to reinvent virally than to exploit virtually. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the jargon-based term "social networks" really mean? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of distributed media sourcing. We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. If you syndicate efficiently, you may have to evolve nano-dynamically. If you productize macro-micro-wirelessly, you may have to upgrade vertically. We constantly embrace clicks-and-mortar iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think cyber-cross-media. Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. It comes off as incredible, but it's 100% 100% accurate! Without compliance, you will lack functionalities. It sounds remarkable, but it's realistic! Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one, dot-com web-readiness and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement.