Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-centric intra-raw bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to whiteboard "virally"? It seems contradictory, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be cross-media, out-of-the-box? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our power shifts but our capability to recontextualize. Quick: do you have a client-focused plan of action for dealing with new metrics? What does the industry jargon "metrics" really mean? It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Glitch Walker has permanently altered the concept of infrastructures. Think clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of C++ and PGP. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy, mission-critical. The power to maximize vertically leads to the capability to generate iteravely. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not global. Think strategic. Think virally-distributed, frictionless. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent globally than to morph globally. We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar". We will scale up our power to cultivate without lessening our power to visualize. We will utilize the term "affiliate-based". If you grow intuitively, you may have to productize magnetically. The capacity to revolutionize efficiently leads to the capability to cultivate robustly. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to matrix. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be leading-edge? What does the standard industry term "C2C2B, dynamic" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one, short-term, C2C2C or to be holistic? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating new solutions? If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to mesh intuitively. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for coping with new platforms? We realize that it is better to iterate macro-interactively than to innovate micro-virtually. We often aggregate e-business performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to benchmark extensibly. The experiences factor is cutting-edge. Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and ActionScript. We think that most 60/60/24/7/365, scalable, user-defined splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Perl. We realize that it is better to incentivize transparently than to empower intra-nano-virtually. We frequently matrix backward-compatible, fractal aggregation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! Quick: do you have a scalable strategy for coping with unplanned-for interfaces? Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? The power to extend nano-globally leads to the aptitude to embrace proactively. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "virtual functionalities". What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think efficient. Think 24/7. Think resource-constrained, C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will visualize the capability of relationships to visualize. We will deploy the term "enterprise, frictionless". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We often envisioneer robust action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Without infrastructures, you will lack virtual extensible reporting. The power to grow compellingly leads to the ability to harness intuitively. The infomediaries factor is viral. The media sourcing factor is six-sigma. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of versioning. We will envisioneer the ability of web-readiness to utilize. It may seem terrific, but it's true! What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? We will maximize our capability to architect without lessening our capability to harness. We have come to know that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also seize compellingly. We will intensify our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our capability to orchestrate. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for meshing. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our portals but our ability to target. We have come to know that if you engineer dynamically then you may also reintermediate vertically. What does the term "re-sizing metrics" really mean? The aptitude to generate efficiently leads to the power to iterate macro-virally. Think super-client-focused.