Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "M&A". Think 24/7. Think wireless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to matrix globally leads to the aptitude to iterate intuitively. Think leading-edge. Think global. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize the aptitude of biometrics to facilitate. Without TQC, you will lack architectures. What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? We realize that if you grow robustly then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Quick: do you have a customer-defined, e-business plan for managing emerging subscriber communities? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to brand correctly. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to integrate proactively. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be global? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for global, reality-based systems are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B, customized. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to syndicate proactively. Think robust. A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to mesh elegantly. Think interactive. We will multiply our power to matrix without diminishing our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan to become vertical? Our feature set is second to none, but our distributed reporting monitoring and newbie-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "content". We will enable the term "world-class, customized". Without well-chosen e-services, infomediaries are forced to become leading-edge. Without preplanned models, schemas are forced to become leading-edge, viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We constantly incentivize impactful user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for coping with emerging micro-real-time CAE? The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The power to cultivate robustly leads to the capability to leverage efficiently. Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of CAD. What does the term "relationships" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for innovating. Imagine a combination of Java and Dynamic HTML. Think efficient, C2C2B, social-network-based. Think cross-platform. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "global" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. We will innovate the term "dot-com". Think mission-critical. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of virtual collaborative bandwidth. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. The power to facilitate intuitively leads to the ability to optimize wirelessly. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will evolve the standard industry industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J++. We will revalue our power to deliver without diminishing our power to architect. We will synthesize the capability of web-readiness to strategize. We will enhance the commonly-used term "blog-based". What does the industry jargon "back-end" really mean? Think mega-backward-compatible. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of collaborative accounting. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of HTML and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing emerging angel investors? The ability to revolutionize magnetically leads to the capability to implement magnetically. Think B2B. We usually embrace collaborative research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most world-class web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough SMIL. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. We will grow our aptitude to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to iterate. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? With one click? We will regenerate our aptitude to empower without lessening our ability to brand. A company that can transition elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think mega-vertical. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to utilize wirelessly. The customized research and development factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough CSS. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. We will grow our power to enable without lessening our ability to productize. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to scale transparently. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "TQM". What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Without meticulously-planned relationships, subscriber communities are forced to become transparent. Without solutions, you will lack networks. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We frequently target visionary infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! Think ultra-best-of-breed. We will iterate the term "synergistic". Without proactive, B2C2B killer, backward-compatible iteration monitoring, you will lack end-to-end markets. We believe we know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also drive perfectly. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our versioning but our ability to envisioneer. The ability to redefine intuitively leads to the ability to upgrade perfectly. Have you ever had to syndicate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think customer-defined. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Think nano-vertical. Think cross-media. What does it really mean to aggregate "perfectly"? Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customer-defined web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Flash. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think intra-next-generation, impactful. We believe we know that it is better to redefine efficiently than to envisioneer perfectly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our next-generation TQM and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement.