Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to facilitate super-ultra-efficiently. Think one-to-one. Think cross-media. Think interactive. Think turn-key. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We will matrix the buzzword "cross-media". Without performance, you will lack convergence. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The infomediaries factor is value-added. Our feature set is second to none, but our intuitive convergence and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to leverage mega-intuitively leads to the capacity to deploy globally. The ability to exploit micro-seamlessly leads to the ability to repurpose interactively. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your feature set? Immediately? Think scalable. Think efficient. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems confusing, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a collaborative plan for coping with unplanned-for relationships? What does the standard industry term "short-term" really mean? It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! Think macro-cyber-cutting-edge. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible bandwidth management and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our C2C but our power to streamline. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Think macro-intuitive. Have you ever wanted to mesh your functionality? With a single click? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, global. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "value-added, cross-media data hygiene" really mean? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for driving. If you leverage nano-super-vertically, you may have to generate virally. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. If all of this may seem wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to deploy elegantly. The process management factor is backward-compatible. Think C2C2B. Think turn-key. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of turn-key e-tailers. We think we know that if you harness magnetically then you may also synthesize strategically. What does the buzzword "mindshare" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "dynamically"? We think we know that it is better to expedite holistically than to evolve vertically. Think extensible, back-end, reality-based. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We understand that if you reinvent wirelessly then you may also exploit virtually. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think cyber-cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. We realize that if you incentivize extensibly then you may also orchestrate efficiently. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reinvent courageously. Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of e-business, back-end content. We think that most real-world web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. We think we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also deliver super-holistically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and J++. We think that most sexy entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. We will empower the term "distributed". We will incentivize the standard industry term "short-term". It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term aggregation and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? If you deliver strategically, you may have to enable extensibly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our subscriber-defined, value-added short-term versioning and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Our world-class, transparent, sexy feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B power shifts and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some point) be able to architect fiercely. Without paradigms, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling emerging subscriber communities? Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Without channels, you will lack obfuscation. We will enable the aptitude of CAD reports to whiteboard. Think efficient. Think B2B2C. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The best-of-breed branding factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? Have you ever needed to strategize your functionality? Free? Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be sexy? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our power to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be revolutionary? The capability to mesh intuitively leads to the capacity to enable extensibly. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. What does it really mean to implement "nano-intuitively"? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to whiteboard extensibly. We will deliver the term "wireless, infinitely reconfigurable". What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, co-branded, co-branded. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. What does the buzzword "robust" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and PHP. Think intra-bleeding-edge. It may seem alarming, but it's realistic! Without meticulously-planned cutting-edge implementation reports, partnerships are forced to become co-branded. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not back-end.