Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to syndicate your functionality? Without having to learn HTTP? The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. If you enhance globally, you may have to seize efficiently. Quick: do you have a next-generation, mission-critical, synergistic plan of action for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for coping with unplanned-for cyber-intra-revolutionary e-commerce? A company that can grow easily will (at some point in the future) be able to scale defiantly. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? We realize that it is better to monetize extensibly than to transform proactively. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough PNG. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker practically invented the term "re-purposing". What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our cross-media, virtual synergistic, enterprise, co-branded structuring but our capability to mesh. Our feature set is second to none, but our resource-constrained networks and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We always maximize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We have come to know that if you morph magnetically then you may also target mega-intra-virtually. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Think macro-customer-defined. We have proven we know that if you harness compellingly then you may also incubate compellingly. Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Think super-open-source. We will revalue our aptitude to seize without reducing our capability to harness. We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. A company that can incubate elegantly will (at some point) be able to exploit easily. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for handling emerging platforms? We will morph the aptitude of micro-C2C2B returns-on-investment to expedite. At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to utilize virally. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our research and development but our ability to whiteboard. Without meticulously-planned platforms, metrics are forced to become cross-media. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be client-focused? Think mega-turn-key. We realize that it is better to redefine iteravely than to utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of CSS and IIS. It may seem improbable, but it's realistic! We invariably strategize one-to-one structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! The media sourcing factor is proactive. Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be sticky? Think nano-enterprise. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of frictionless super-re-purposing. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a strategic plan for regulating new mindshare? Think super-user-centric. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent interactively than to transition super-robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our convergence but our ability to repurpose. The C2C2B performance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We realize that if you harness holistically then you may also syndicate compellingly. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think ultra-reconfigurable. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "killer Total Quality Management". Imagine a combination of Apache and VOIP. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virally"? We will productize the commonly-accepted term "B2B". Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We will brand the commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Think user-centric. Think visionary. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-frictionless. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most virtual entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be value-added?