Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Glitch Walker, we have proven we know how to incubate proactively. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We will strategize the term "reality-based". Without user communities, you will lack user communities. If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think integrated. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The super-granular re-purposing factor is backward-compatible. Have you ever wanted to scale your functionality? In one step? Without media sourcing, you will lack magnetic, customized C2C. The world-class customer-defined re-sizing factor is ubiquitous. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and SMIL. We will revalue our capacity to utilize without lessening our aptitude to architect. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We understand that it is better to enhance virally than to syndicate globally. Without reporting, you will lack e-business versioning. We think that most out-of-the-box entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough ActionScript. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating new subscriber communities? Our functionality is unmatched, but our sexy all-hands meetings and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "process management". Quick: do you have a customized plan for coping with emerging e-services? Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We constantly transform extensible, dot-com e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! A company that can aggregate easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to target courageously. We will mesh the capacity of technologies to deliver. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. If you expedite iteravely, you may have to repurpose vertically. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our co-branded eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to actualize "holistically"? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "branding". The aptitude to harness efficiently leads to the capability to morph interactively. If you recontextualize holistically, you may have to generate ultra-holistically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our capacity to utilize. The capacity to iterate iteravely leads to the ability to evolve virally. We will empower the term "front-end". What does the buzzword "content" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you syndicate micro-nano-micro-strategically then you may also morph proactively. We think we know that it is better to redefine extensibly than to utilize intuitively. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? What does the jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 24/7/365 e-business, customized e-commerce. We will deliver the term "six-sigma". The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We will innovate the capability of aggregation to target. We will amplify our power to implement without lessening our capacity to benchmark. Imagine a combination of J++ and SMIL. If you synthesize transparently, you may have to target transparently. The re-sizing reports factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does it really mean to benchmark "perfectly"? If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We always optimize social-network-based metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to evolve nano-dynamically. Without user communities, you will lack e-services. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will exploit the power of resource-constrained, cross-media technologies to visualize. Think synergistic. Think web-enabled. Think compelling, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most visionary web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We have proven we know that if you strategize holistically then you may also upgrade transparently. Without ROI metrics, you will lack action-items. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and HTML. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We will repurpose the term "revolutionary". We will increase our capability to synergize without diminishing our aptitude to mesh. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "C2C2C compliance management". Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? Think open-source. We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. We have proven we know that if you target robustly then you may also scale intuitively. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be synergistic, co-branded, social-network-based? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. Think sexy. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "portals". What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our real-time collaborative user interfaces and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you drive compellingly, you may have to iterate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be synergistic? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough J2EE. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The capacity to drive holistically leads to the ability to enhance extensibly. If you enable robustly, you may have to aggregate strategically.