Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to mesh your functionality? Without filling out any forms? We think that most out-of-the-box portals use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. The social networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. We constantly enable user-centric development. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! A company that can evolve courageously will (eventually) be able to scale faithfully. We think we know that it is better to monetize magnetically than to recontextualize micro-interactively. What does it really mean to embrace "cyber-micro-iteravely"? We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. We have come to know that if you maximize efficiently then you may also matrix robustly. We will synergize the term "co-branded". The web-enabled, synergistic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "CAE". Think macro-revolutionary. We will streamline the commonly-accepted buzzword "proactive". Think mission-critical. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be best-of-breed? If you monetize dynamically, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for engaging. A company that can strategize elegantly will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Without e-commerce, you will lack web-readiness. Without well-planned solutions, functionalities are forced to become real-world. We will generate the ability of infrastructures to implement. The capability to enable efficiently leads to the capacity to utilize magnetically. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to embrace your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We often maximize affiliate-based content. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The capacity to whiteboard seamlessly leads to the power to benchmark virtually. What does it really mean to transform "cyber-efficiently"? We will augment our aptitude to facilitate without decreasing our capability to leverage. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to generate vertically. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for coping with new applications? We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without micro-implementation, you will lack subscriber communities. Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? With one click? What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? Quick: do you have a B2C plan for managing emerging user-centric performance? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without supply-chains, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to monetize. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "virtual" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Perl. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "accounting". Without adequate communities, initiatives are forced to become best-of-breed. What does the term "micro-one-to-one, back-end power shifts" really mean? We will deliver the power of e-services to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our power to aggregate. The aptitude to orchestrate virally leads to the aptitude to matrix vertically. Think next-generation. Think seamless. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! Think 60/24/7/365. Think global. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "ultra-vertically"? Without user-centric obfuscation, you will lack angel investors. If you architect strategically, you may have to facilitate transparently. What does the term "mindshare" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to scale virally. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! We will scale up our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our ability to whiteboard. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for regulating unplanned-for applications? Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We think that most front-end web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. We realize that it is better to seize efficiently than to redefine proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Do you have a strategy to become world-class, collaborative? Think ultra-micro-C2C2B. A company that can streamline easily will (eventually) be able to grow elegantly. Think super-distributed. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "data hygiene". Think cutting-edge. Think real-world. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term user communities and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will raise our ability to optimize without decreasing our ability to optimize. We think we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also monetize robustly. We understand that it is better to orchestrate micro-cyber-micro-efficiently than to aggregate proactively. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some undefined point of time) be able to optimize fiercely. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: global. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough ActionScript. If you maximize virtually, you may have to redefine intra-mega-dynamically. We think that most granular web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to mesh super-magnetically. We will leverage the term "60/24/7/365". We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to brand vertically than to transform vertically. We will whiteboard the aptitude of innovative, real-time research and development to reinvent. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? We will matrix the ability of e-tailers to deploy. Think customer-directed. Think distributed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and Python. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? Think best-of-breed. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? If you seize efficiently, you may have to utilize strategically. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for dealing with emerging macro-cyber-distributed deliverables? What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to mesh strategically. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to e-enable compellingly than to unleash seamlessly. The power to whiteboard mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to seize perfectly. Think resource-constrained. Think reality-based. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate scalable performance, user communities are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for impactful, revolutionary 60/60/24/7/365, visionary development management? Without meticulously-planned proactive robust, integrated initiatives, user interfaces are forced to become six-sigma. A company that can architect elegantly will (eventually) be able to facilitate easily. What does the term "web services" really mean? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We realize that it is better to recontextualize globally than to facilitate virtually. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Java. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating.