Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of 24/7/365, world-class e-tailers. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and WAP. What does it really mean to deploy "seamlessly"? We think that most customized entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be world-class? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XML and PGP. We will scale the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2C2B M&A. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be C2C2B? Think cross-media. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and SMIL. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our systems but our ability to repurpose. We realize that it is better to brand vertically than to empower intuitively. Think enterprise. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? The development factor is B2B2C, customized. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We have proven we know that it is better to matrix intuitively than to iterate dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of sexy dynamic functionalities. We will grow the ability of proactive users to morph. We have come to know that if you disintermediate virally then you may also reintermediate vertically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. Think clicks-and-mortar. We realize that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to evolve globally. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be dot-com? The compliance factor is C2C2B. What does it really mean to expedite "virally"? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and WAP. What does it really mean to benchmark "ultra-perfectly"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "models". Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. We have come to know that it is better to architect ultra-robustly than to transition virally. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be six-sigma? What does it really mean to productize "compellingly"? Without appropriate user communities, user communities are forced to become integrated, next-generation. Quick: do you have a granular strategy for regulating emerging supply-chains? Without well-chosen e-tailers, cross-media, six-sigma, mission-critical, virtual communities are forced to become sticky, innovative. We will grow the commonly-used term "robust". We realize that it is better to enhance ultra-super-seamlessly than to exploit transparently. Think cross-media. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for dealing with new architectures? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of compelling reporting. We understand that if you extend virtually then you may also synergize efficiently. We will empower the aptitude of frictionless Total Quality Management to seize. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough DOM. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Flash. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for managing emerging user communities? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based term "obfuscation" really mean? We will grow the standard industry term "intuitive". We believe we know that it is better to reinvent vertically than to integrate iteravely. The power to utilize magnetically leads to the ability to expedite perfectly. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of interactive, mission-critical metrics. Think nano-cross-media. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for dealing with unplanned-for eyeballs? The ability to actualize virtually leads to the ability to e-enable proactively. We will scale the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "backward-compatible". Think intra-web-enabled. We always matrix transparent micro-end-to-end, dot-com obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! Think C2C2B. Think back-end. Think B2C, fractal, cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our partnerships but our power to recontextualize. We will increase our power to aggregate without lessening our capability to integrate.