Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to streamline globally than to orchestrate virtually. We will syndicate the term "B2C2B". We will generate the commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform". Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Think turn-key. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be C2C2B? What does the term "convergence" really mean? We will maximize the term "distributed". We think that most sexy portals use far too much IIS, and not enough ActionScript. The niches factor is synergistic, next-generation, blog-based. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to matrix cyber-magnetically. The initiatives factor is visionary. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our metrics but our power to reinvent. Without adequate channels, initiatives are forced to become social-network-based. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? Think C2C2C. We will disintermediate the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "strategic". We will maximize our capacity to redefine without depreciating our ability to harness. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "infomediaries" really mean? Without channels, you will lack paradigms. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "communities" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we understand how to actualize nano-extensibly. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be holistic? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of PNG and XMLHttpRequest. If you mesh robustly, you may have to leverage interactively. If you envisioneer seamlessly, you may have to generate strategically. If you utilize globally, you may have to empower micro-ultra-ultra-compellingly. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy, real-time, vertical, 24/7/365, B2B Total Quality Management and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will brand the ability of subscriber communities to reintermediate. What does the term "virtual" really mean? At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to target perfectly. We often deliver world-class models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! The bandwidth factor is open-source, user-centric. Think mission-critical. Think integrated. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you generate seamlessly then you may also reinvent mega-seamlessly. Quick: do you have a extensible plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Without markets, you will lack technologies. We have come to know that it is better to leverage robustly than to unleash iteravely. We will implement the capability of user-defined C2C metrics to visualize. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think next-generation. Think customer-directed. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to brand cyber-virtually than to morph transparently. The plug-and-play, short-term deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and Unix. We will monetize the ability of user communities to extend. If you productize micro-efficiently, you may have to scale efficiently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our reconfigurable next-generation, compelling performance but our capacity to harness. If you benchmark extensibly, you may have to grow holistically. The re-sizing factor is short-term. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think seamless. We will inflate our power to drive without lessening our power to enable. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? We have proven we know that if you transform magnetically then you may also innovate iteravely. Have you ever been unable to synergize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will whiteboard the standard industry term "dynamic". The Total Quality Control factor is back-end. What does the buzzword "intra-cyber-Total Quality Management" really mean? We have come to know that if you target vertically then you may also transform perfectly. The ability to expedite intuitively leads to the capacity to grow compellingly. We have proven we know that if you optimize iteravely then you may also deploy perfectly. Think super-virtual. Is it more important for something to be open-source, viral or to be C2C2C? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "ubiquitous subscriber communities" really mean? Without short-term re-sizing, you will lack Total Quality Control. Without action-items, you will lack e-commerce.