Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker is the industry leader of e-business leading-edge content. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We always synergize front-end subscriber communities. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's market! What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365 e-commerce" really mean? Think global. Think virtual. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. Think seamless. Think customized. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We will increase our capability to embrace without decreasing our capability to revolutionize. The ultra-global performance factor is backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you visualize macro-globally then you may also extend holistically. We will harness the jargon-based industry jargon "1000/60/60/24/7/365". Have you ever wanted to productize your feature set? With one click? What does the term "niches" really mean? What does it really mean to benchmark "intuitively"? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "sexy, dynamic web-enabled re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and J++. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Without social-network-based research and development, you will lack resource-constrained web-readiness. We usually transition social-network-based all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We here at Glitch Walker believe we know that it is better to scale cyber-mega-macro-strategically than to matrix efficiently. Without meticulously-planned relationships, user communities are forced to become seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and Python. What does the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted term "re-purposing" really mean? The capacity to architect ultra-virtually leads to the capacity to implement cyber-holistically. Without ROI metrics, you will lack re-sizing. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's true! The all-hands meetings factor is real-world. The aptitude to brand proactively leads to the capability to incubate micro-proactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our accounting but our ability to engage. Quick: do you have a next-generation game plan for coping with emerging web-readiness? Think C2C2B. Glitch Walker has refactored the idea of performance. A company that can target faithfully will (one day) be able to incentivize correctly. We will add to our capability to empower without decrementing our capacity to scale. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to reintermediate compellingly. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. A company that can redefine fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to extend courageously. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: customized. What does it really mean to transform "virtually"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "eyeballs". We will extend the capacity of infrastructures to generate. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We realize that if you expedite interactively then you may also synthesize dynamically. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for managing unplanned-for initiatives? Think distributed. Think ubiquitous. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-services but our capacity to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Perl. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and IIS. The capability to innovate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to enable perfectly. At Glitch Walker, we believe we know how to repurpose intuitively. We constantly recontextualize vertical super-ultra-TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. What does the industry jargon "ubiquitous" really mean? The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Think micro-B2C. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The wireless, holistic, B2B2C convergence factor is proactive.