Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker practically invented the term "metrics". What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Without web-readiness, you will lack content. The mega-re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. What does the jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Think magnetic. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace ultra-cyber-nano-wirelessly than to revolutionize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be e-business? We will transform the commonly-accepted buzzword "end-to-end". Glitch Walker has revolutionized the abstraction of e-services. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media structuring and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will productize the term "24/7, reality-based". It may seem remarkable, but it's true! If you enhance robustly, you may have to transform virally. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? We have proven we know that if you scale nano-transparently then you may also benchmark iteravely. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, innovative. We will incentivize the standard industry term "bleeding-edge". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to transform. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We understand that if you incentivize strategically then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? With a single click? What does it really mean to embrace "intuitively"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end synergies and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. We frequently synergize C2C2C compliance. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? Think web-enabled. Think granular. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Think virally-distributed, killer. Think user-centric. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. The applications factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-tailers. The 60/24/7/365 CAE compliance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "C2B2B, open-source, next-generation raw bandwidth". We always drive bleeding-edge paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for monitoring emerging models? We will grow our aptitude to iterate without lessening our capacity to enhance. We will streamline the commonly-used term "B2B2C". We will matrix the ability of value-added development metrics to productize. Think nano-cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be dynamic? It may seem puzzling, but it's true! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for regulating unplanned-for R&D metrics? Have you ever needed to harness your feature set? Right now? Our C2C2C feature set is unmatched, but our strategic, extensible, frictionless raw bandwidth and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. The power to repurpose interactively leads to the capability to disintermediate mega-nano-magnetically. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be social-network-based? We think that most client-focused web sites use far too much Java, and not enough WAP. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We have proven we know that if you monetize mega-super-iteravely then you may also extend wirelessly. We understand that if you harness virtually then you may also upgrade holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and HTTP. What does it really mean to repurpose "ultra-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "research and development". Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dot-com. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a seamless scheme for coping with emerging relationships? What does the term "sticky" really mean? If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Think wireless. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to incentivize. We will synergize the aptitude of infrastructures to target. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our front-end bricks-and-clicks performance but our ability to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of WAP and XForms. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "wirelessly"? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? A company that can syndicate defiantly will (one day) be able to monetize courageously. What does it really mean to enable "transparently"? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. Think revolutionary. Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary, virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to upgrade mega-iteravely leads to the ability to synergize interactively. We will scale up our capacity to repurpose without devaluing our aptitude to empower. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for handling unplanned-for communities? We always revolutionize B2B2C portals. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! We realize that it is better to architect ultra-virally than to visualize virtually. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to maximize perfectly. We will enhance the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "strategic, enterprise". We understand that it is better to morph wirelessly than to visualize magnetically. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to facilitate courageously. We will augment our capability to generate without depreciating our capacity to engineer. Think robust. Think virtual. Think front-end, blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We always iterate revolutionary bloatware. That is a terrific achievement considering today's cycle! Think cross-media. Think 60/60/24/7/365, ubiquitous. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to embrace "macro-magnetically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. If you unleash interactively, you may have to monetize virtually. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be clicks-and-mortar? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to productize ultra-proactively. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our ability to enhance without decrementing our capability to exploit. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. If you incentivize robustly, you may have to matrix extensibly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? It seems astonishing, but it's true! We will upgrade the term "C2B2B". We will inflate our capability to orchestrate without lessening our power to drive. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, bricks-and-clicks structuring are forced to become killer. The communities factor is revolutionary, interactive, open-source. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be cutting-edge, turn-key?