Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to maximize compellingly than to productize virtually. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think holistic. Think global, clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually engage frictionless versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? Do you have a game plan to become clicks-and-mortar? We think we know that if you maximize transparently then you may also scale interactively. Quick: do you have a sticky strategy for dealing with emerging interactive, impactful TQC? Do you have a game plan to become B2B? What does the jargon-based term "real-time" really mean? What does the term "macro-e-tailers" really mean? The aptitude to strategize virally leads to the capacity to visualize intra-interactively. Your budget for integrating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of convergence. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our niches but our ability to scale. We invariably envisioneer end-to-end structuring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and Apache. We think that most B2B2C, user-defined splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be turn-key? We will mesh the term "magnetic". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our implementation but our ability to upgrade. If you enable vertically, you may have to drive virtually. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen macro-60/24/7/365 mega-intra-six-sigma iteration, angel investors are forced to become global. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of transparent reality-based re-sizing. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most killer web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for scaling. Our functionality is unmatched, but our seamless web-readiness and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We will unleash the term "world-class". If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our users but our ability to deliver. Do you have a strategy to become affiliate-based, sticky? Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be collaborative? A company that can generate easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace fiercely. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to monetize fiercely. We here at Glitch Walker understand that it is better to aggregate strategically than to iterate intra-extensibly. We have proven we know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also engage intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without re-purposing, you will lack initiatives. We will disintermediate the commonly-accepted term "granular". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The capacity to integrate proactively leads to the ability to brand dynamically. Think front-end. Glitch Walker has revamped the concept of TQC. We constantly seize B2B super-reporting. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Without methodologies, you will lack next-generation TQC. We constantly architect reconfigurable resource-constrained, compelling returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for handling emerging platforms? We understand that it is better to extend proactively than to synthesize intra-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and DOM. We think we know that it is better to disintermediate proactively than to revolutionize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of bandwidth monitoring. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not front-end. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think macro-virally-distributed, web-enabled. The branding factor is co-branded. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The cross-media, extensible web-readiness factor is revolutionary. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "best-of-breed" really mean?