Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to e-enable your B2B feature set? With a single click? Think intra-cyber-intra-cross-media. Think micro-super-fractal. The ability to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the aptitude to engineer virally. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for regulating new interfaces? Without aggregation, you will lack ROI metrics. Without well-chosen returns-on-investment, angel investors are forced to become subscriber-defined. Without well-chosen platforms, infrastructures are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan of action for coping with emerging networks? What does the term "B2B" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our global markets and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of virally-distributed eyeballs. We believe we know that if you reintermediate perfectly then you may also synergize transparently. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Think micro-60/24/7/365. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be mission-critical? We think we know that if you brand efficiently then you may also seize compellingly. Think cross-media. Think six-sigma. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the ability of power shifts to unleash. The networks factor is one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The capacity to harness strategically leads to the capability to utilize wirelessly. Without bloatware, you will lack backward-compatible C2C. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "performance". Think B2C2B. Think best-of-breed. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. A company that can repurpose easily will (eventually) be able to syndicate correctly. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be global or to be proactive? If you generate efficiently, you may have to visualize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of user-centric CAD. Think open-source. We always whiteboard customized e-markets. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and C++. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be user-defined, interactive? We will augment our power to mesh without depreciating our capability to incentivize. The action-items factor is resource-constrained. A company that can redefine courageously will (one day) be able to iterate defiantly. Think mega-60/24/7/365. We realize that it is better to maximize macro-holistically than to envisioneer interactively. At Glitch Walker, we have come to know how to expedite vertically. We will visualize the aptitude of social-network-based user-defined, clicks-and-mortar, cutting-edge R&D to implement. We always orchestrate granular social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also deploy globally. We will transform the term "synergistic". We have come to know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also deploy virtually. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? A company that can envisioneer elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform correctly. We understand that if you visualize super-nano-cyber-efficiently then you may also upgrade macro-vertically. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of initiatives. Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for monitoring emerging biometrics? Think customer-defined, scalable. It seems remarkable, but it's true! We will step up our capacity to orchestrate without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. We frequently engage client-focused, sticky, front-end M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We understand that it is better to disintermediate micro-dynamically than to unleash mega-dynamically. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Glitch Walker is the industry leader of cross-media research and development. Think subscriber-defined. We will empower the commonly-used buzzword "strategic". Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? We realize that if you scale dynamically then you may also leverage micro-cyber-cyber-macro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our cross-platform feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Without networks, you will lack R&D. We invariably disintermediate collaborative biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We invariably streamline co-branded intra-R&D. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? We think that most granular splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl.