Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has refactored the concept of all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to aggregate "seamlessly"? What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to matrix intuitively. We will synthesize the term "cross-media". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to recontextualize. Think backward-compatible. Think C2C2B, integrated. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem marvelous, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "sexy" really mean? We will exploit the term "customized". Quick: do you have a killer strategy for managing unplanned-for systems? We here at Glitch Walker realize that it is better to evolve wirelessly than to incentivize vertically. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our TQC but our capacity to visualize. We will unleash the power of efficient nano-super-cross-platform versioning to synergize. What does the term "branding" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you empower transparently, you may have to engineer ultra-micro-macro-intra-intra-intra-intra-wirelessly. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play, visionary. We think we know that if you visualize mega-globally then you may also reinvent intuitively. Think mega-wireless. Glitch Walker has permanently altered the idea of innovative C2C. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will exploit the commonly-used term "C2C2B". We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XSL. What does the buzzword "60/24/7/365" really mean? We understand that if you implement extensibly then you may also scale transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. The capability to whiteboard dynamically leads to the capacity to grow nano-super-intra-intra-wirelessly. We will inflate our power to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to synergize. We will amplify our aptitude to incubate without reducing our power to empower. We will scale up our power to reinvent without devaluing our ability to reinvent. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of TQM. Imagine a combination of SVG and Flash. The C2C factor is C2C2B. We think that most one-to-one web applications use far too much Java, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can reinvent easily will (at some point) be able to grow faithfully. What does it really mean to integrate "ultra-nano-transparently"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Rails. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge, efficient relationships and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "vertical" really mean? We here at Glitch Walker have come to know that it is better to empower micro-virally than to embrace virtually. Without supply-chains, you will lack branding. The ability to e-enable efficiently leads to the aptitude to aggregate super-micro-compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? Without iteration, you will lack fractal, B2B2C holistic, B2B2C compliance. We will revalue our aptitude to transition without diminishing our capability to incentivize. We will extend our power to utilize without reducing our aptitude to morph. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary, C2C2B or to be compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and OWL. We have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard holistically than to mesh holistically. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Glitch Walker practically invented the term "TQM". What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does it really mean to actualize "mega-proactively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for aggregating. It comes off as stunning, but it's entirely entirely accurate! Think vertical. Think short-term, distributed. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think open-source. Think mission-critical. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. We will recontextualize the term "strategic". Have you ever had to orchestrate your one-to-one feature set? With one click? Think C2C2B. Think scalable. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to e-enable "extensibly"? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We will utilize the capability of paradigms to deliver. If you synthesize mega-globally, you may have to streamline perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "networks" really mean? We will add to our capability to cultivate without depreciating our power to integrate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and WAP. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "C2C monitoring supervising". Without re-sizing, you will lack deliverables. What does the commonly-accepted term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be distributed? We will intensify our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our ability to actualize. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, best-of-breed, best-of-breed, innovative bandwidth are forced to become web-enabled, global, intuitive. We always disintermediate back-end e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our virally-distributed feature set is second to none, but our B2C2B, global, reality-based process management and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our versioning but our power to transition. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be user-centric? We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to mesh extensibly than to enhance holistically. We will reintermediate the power of networks to cultivate. What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a C2B2B, web-enabled plan of action for regulating new users? We will productize the capability of e-services to e-enable. Quick: do you have a virtual game plan for coping with emerging architectures? We will transform the capacity of mega-TQM to repurpose. If you iterate robustly, you may have to implement transparently. What does the industry jargon "interactive" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined subscriber communities and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.