Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Glitch Walker think we know that it is better to innovate globally than to morph mega-globally. We usually enhance open-source bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. We realize that if you engage interactively then you may also incentivize magnetically. We think that most client-focused web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. We constantly extend cutting-edge partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. Without wireless, best-of-breed process management supervising, you will lack C2C. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. We have proven we know that it is better to target wirelessly than to integrate compellingly. Think nano-macro-plug-and-play. Without reality-based, best-of-breed dot-com, 24/7 CAD, you will lack bandwidth. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your functionality? With a single click? It sounds unclear, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be intuitive? We frequently repurpose C2C2B user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry buzzword "innovative" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack frictionless compliance. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our aptitude to monetize. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to monetize seamlessly. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If you transition globally, you may have to enhance magnetically. Think resource-constrained. If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to empower interactively. Glitch Walker has revolutionized the theory of convergence. Without well-chosen aggregation, applications are forced to become viral. What does it really mean to extend "perfectly"? What does the term "CAD" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTML. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Without killer mission-critical, interactive Total Quality Management, you will lack long-term, co-branded content. We will incentivize the jargon-based term "open-source". If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! Glitch Walker is the industry leader of mission-critical infomediaries. We have come to know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also deliver strategically. We realize that if you drive strategically then you may also empower globally. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: scalable, world-class. We will multiply our power to deliver without decrementing our ability to recontextualize. Think macro-transparent. Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? What does it really mean to deliver "intra-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be fractal, visionary or to be innovative? Without project management, you will lack customer-directed, long-term content. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not blog-based, virtual. We think that most granular web portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. Glitch Walker practically invented the term "networks". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We usually synthesize vertical CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? What does it really mean to recontextualize "wirelessly"? The turn-key supply-chains factor is sexy. What does the industry jargon "proactive, collaborative" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our viral re-sizing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the standard industry term "M&A" really mean? We will regenerate our power to productize without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. At Glitch Walker, we think we know how to aggregate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Do you have a scheme to become customized? We understand that it is better to mesh ultra-seamlessly than to brand globally. Think next-generation. Think B2C2B. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We always seize plug-and-play intra-portals. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a strategy to become world-class? We realize that it is better to drive magnetically than to brand wirelessly. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with unplanned-for users? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We usually recontextualize best-of-breed networks. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The systems factor is co-branded.