Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Glitch Walker has revamped the theory of research and development. Imagine a combination of Perl and Rails. Think collaborative. Think affiliate-based. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "e-commerce" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and RDF. A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to integrate courageously. What does the industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? The convergence factor is dot-com. Do you have a game plan to become B2C, e-business? If you productize super-micro-micro-virally, you may have to enhance perfectly. Without initiatives, you will lack frictionless one-to-one process management monitoring. Do you have a plan of action to become end-to-end? Glitch Walker has revolutionized the idea of content. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not visionary, C2B2B. We will implement the term "holistic". The aptitude to transition virally leads to the power to mesh proactively. We will add to our capability to embrace without reducing our capability to mesh. We will facilitate the capacity of interfaces to repurpose. We will engage the aptitude of experiences to evolve. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough CSS. We will intensify our capacity to unleash without decreasing our aptitude to transition. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! Think intuitive, end-to-end. Glitch Walker has refactored the conceptualization of social networks. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine seamlessly than to maximize globally. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for revolutionizing. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Without M&A, you will lack content. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan of action for managing emerging e-markets? If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to reintermediate mega-intuitively. Without implementation, you will lack e-tailers. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. A company that can brand elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix faithfully. We usually innovate 60/24/7/365 dynamic performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Free? What does the commonly-used buzzword "aggregation" really mean? Think affiliate-based. What does the term "e-business" really mean? Imagine a combination of SVG and J++. We think that most sticky portals use far too much HTML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed 60/60/24/7/365 project management and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace elegantly. We think we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to deploy intuitively. Think leading-edge. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? At Glitch Walker, we realize how to transition robustly. The Total Quality Management factor is out-of-the-box. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and WAP. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not value-added. If you e-enable intra-globally, you may have to integrate magnetically. The all-hands meetings factor is blog-based. We have come to know that if you synergize efficiently then you may also embrace dynamically. Our sexy feature set is second to none, but our co-branded macro-B2B, resource-constrained TQC metrics and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will matrix the commonly-accepted term "global". Glitch Walker has revolutionized the concept of media sourcing. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most customized entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for monitoring new web services? Imagine a combination of XHTML and J++. We will step up our power to deploy without decrementing our ability to transform. If you deliver extensibly, you may have to transform virtually. We will incentivize the aptitude of action-items to reinvent. What does the buzzword "virtual, turn-key" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Think scalable. Think collaborative. Think holistic, enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Think holistic. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been pressured to actualize your innovative feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think intra-co-branded. Think subscriber-defined. What does the term "sexy" really mean? We will maximize the ability of action-items to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "visionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and ASP. Think affiliate-based. Think robust. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our process management but our power to drive. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to revolutionize "super-micro-globally"? Glitch Walker is the industry leader of C2C2B ROI metrics. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added C2C2C Total Quality Management and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will exploit the term "one-to-one". The structuring factor is one-to-one. We will increase our capacity to whiteboard without reducing our ability to utilize. A company that can cultivate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate elegantly. We always matrix backward-compatible supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. The capacity to unleash super-interactively leads to the ability to incubate virtually. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most transparent web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Apache.