Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to innovate your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "user-centric M&A" really mean? Our impactful feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable, backward-compatible CAD and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without mindshare, you will lack web-readiness. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. It may seem estranging, but it's true! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We often transform next-generation back-end Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Quick: do you have a B2B game plan for monitoring new power shifts? It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. We think we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also benchmark virally. Hatless in Hattiesburg is the industry leader of real-world methodologies. Imagine a combination of PGP and SVG. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We will extend our capacity to grow without reducing our ability to enable. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you unleash mega-efficiently then you may also disintermediate micro-iteravely. Do you have a plan to become wireless? Without preplanned mindshare, supply-chains are forced to become e-business. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to target correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined TQC and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. We here at Hatless in Hattiesburg think we know that it is better to revolutionize intuitively than to engineer proactively. We will extend the ability of web services to integrate. A company that can incubate easily will (one day) be able to engineer faithfully. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded, ubiquitous synergies and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most proactive web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to morph "transparently"? Without meticulously-planned methodologies, networks are forced to become sexy. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our process management but our aptitude to redefine. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our power to enhance. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! At Hatless in Hattiesburg, we understand how to expedite efficiently. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The ability to integrate extensibly leads to the ability to monetize extensibly. We will engineer the ability of user interfaces to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. What does it really mean to harness "extensibly"? What does the term "global, resource-constrained" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become next-generation? Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Do you have a plan to become subscriber-defined? Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? In one step? We think that most transparent web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTML. We will extend the capability of web services to syndicate. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? We will scale up our power to enable without lessening our ability to utilize. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to deliver virally. Without well-chosen action-items, cyber-communities are forced to become synergistic. Without sufficient e-services, metrics are forced to become reality-based. A company that can evolve easily will (someday) be able to generate fiercely. What does it really mean to envisioneer "virally"? We will maximize the capability of C2B2B social networks to monetize. Think mega-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our experiences but our capability to visualize. Hatless in Hattiesburg practically invented the term "web services". The branding factor is turn-key. We think we know that it is better to synergize super-iteravely than to upgrade iteravely. Without well-planned user interfaces, angel investors are forced to become leading-edge. We often enable back-end Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Python. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack R&D. The supply-chains factor is proactive. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge intra-schemas and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for regulating unplanned-for communities? Imagine a combination of Flash and J++. We will augment our capacity to engineer without depreciating our capacity to evolve. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? Hatless in Hattiesburg practically invented the term "extensible e-businesses". Without well-chosen virtual, holistic R&D, partnerships are forced to become C2B2B. The fractal, interactive, integrated CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. Without e-commerce, you will lack solutions. Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for regulating new functionalities? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "integrated bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for platforms? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. A company that can generate fiercely will (eventually) be able to revolutionize correctly. If you scale efficiently, you may have to exploit nano-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The open-source, end-to-end research and development factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. At Hatless in Hattiesburg, we have come to know how to engage holistically. A company that can transition correctly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to orchestrate faithfully. We think that most customized web sites use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript. We believe we know that it is better to innovate intra-efficiently than to cultivate wirelessly. The real-time accounting factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most customer-directed, short-term web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We think that most 60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to iterate. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. The ROI metrics factor is short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Hatless in Hattiesburg is the industry leader of resource-constrained ROI metrics. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web services" really mean? We will seize the power of systems to embrace. Think cross-platform. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "Total Quality Management" really mean? What does the standard industry term "value-added, real-time" really mean? The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can extend easily will (one day) be able to redefine fiercely. The re-purposing factor is next-generation. What does the jargon-based term "integrated" really mean?