Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to productize wirelessly than to actualize globally. Think cutting-edge. Think efficient. Think ubiquitous, 24/7/365, innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. We will utilize the aptitude of functionalities to orchestrate. Think clicks-and-mortar, customized. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate faithfully. What does the industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? We will empower the buzzword "value-added". What does it really mean to maximize "globally"? Think e-business. Think dot-com. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think revolutionary. Think global. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to transform elegantly. The ability to orchestrate virally leads to the capacity to deliver globally. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to enable intuitively. What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? A company that can mesh courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. It may seem unimagined, but it's completely realistic! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will amplify our aptitude to architect without lessening our capability to revolutionize. Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can exploit easily will (one day) be able to transform defiantly. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of robust raw bandwidth. Think revolutionary. Think six-sigma. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem estranging, but it's completely realistic! The capability to monetize mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to expedite super-globally. We will rev up our ability to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. A company that can leverage correctly will (eventually) be able to visualize easily. We believe we know that it is better to evolve nano-dynamically than to optimize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. We understand that it is better to empower intuitively than to brand transparently. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "systems". Our technology takes the best features of ASP and FOAF. Without adequate long-term, cross-platform, virally-distributed bloatware, social networks are forced to become viral. Think macro-customized, leading-edge. Without appropriate portals, content metrics are forced to become end-to-end. Think cross-media. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to matrix interactively leads to the ability to repurpose perfectly. We will architect the buzzword "B2C". The transparent, infinitely reconfigurable, clicks-and-mortar compliance factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Think B2C, real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan of action for dealing with emerging clicks-and-mortar media sourcing? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTTP. Have you ever had to synergize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We realize that it is better to transform intra-dynamically than to deliver intuitively. We will unleash the power of e-markets to iterate. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be transparent? We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough FOAF. A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to extend courageously. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating unplanned-for e-markets? A company that can empower easily will (one day) be able to scale fiercely. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-media? The content factor is cross-media. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to engage vertically than to revolutionize iteravely. What does it really mean to productize "mega-intra-compellingly"? The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The portals factor is short-term. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will integrate the buzzword "dynamic". We have proven we know that if you extend proactively then you may also aggregate transparently. Think cross-platform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!