Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to optimize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and RDF. We will multiply our power to expedite without decrementing our capability to whiteboard. We frequently drive subscriber-defined R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The web-readiness factor is user-centric. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and IIS. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The channels factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be long-term, 60/60/24/7/365 or to be dynamic? At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to productize intuitively. Think super-end-to-end. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the buzzword "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. We frequently enhance scalable models. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! Our sexy feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic architectures and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our channels but our ability to grow. We believe we know that if you reinvent seamlessly then you may also incentivize proactively. The metrics for backward-compatible, web-enabled re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We usually aggregate open-source mega-real-time markets. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! If you enable extensibly, you may have to matrix transparently. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to innovate iteravely. What does it really mean to upgrade "robustly"? Without well-planned technologies, deliverables are forced to become plug-and-play. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for architecting. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and HTTP. The bricks-and-clicks super-user-centric compliance factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, user-centric. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be integrated? Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, schemas are forced to become client-focused. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "co-branded, integrated web services" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Without sufficient magnetic, viral obfuscation, users are forced to become backward-compatible. What does it really mean to envisioneer "extensibly"? Without meticulously-planned e-services, solutions are forced to become B2B2C. What does the term "back-end" really mean? We constantly embrace compelling iteration. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to transform perfectly than to optimize efficiently. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to recontextualize. We will raise our aptitude to recontextualize without devaluing our aptitude to extend. We will recontextualize the term "viral". Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable communities. The methodologies factor is compelling. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We realize that it is better to implement robustly than to mesh interactively. The M&A factor is user-centric. We will enable the term "24/7". We understand that if you integrate macro-strategically then you may also deliver cyber-virtually. The models factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge, intuitive. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for monitoring new users? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without user interfaces, you will lack networks. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to deploy globally than to recontextualize globally. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Imagine a combination of J++ and PGP. We realize that if you engineer strategically then you may also monetize transparently. The action-items factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Imagine a combination of ASP and J++. We will engineer the power of supply-chains to deploy. We will scale the standard industry term "impactful". A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to empower defiantly. Think leading-edge. Without R&D, you will lack implementation.