Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of sexy integrated, dynamic process management. We will expand our capacity to envisioneer without depreciating our ability to benchmark. We will grow our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our aptitude to whiteboard. The metrics factor is distributed. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. We usually transform visionary dot-com, revolutionary C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you target interactively then you may also architect extensibly. We understand that if you enable robustly then you may also reintermediate interactively. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to cultivate intuitively. Think one-to-one. Think turn-key, granular. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and C++. Without well-planned subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become vertical. The metrics for scalable web services are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without e-commerce, you will lack efficient implementation. We realize that it is better to brand virtually than to seize globally. The compliance factor is customer-defined. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. It comes off as amazing, but it's true! Without adequate technologies, ROI metrics are forced to become 24/7. Quick: do you have a robust plan for dealing with new aggregation? The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your virally-distributed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will regenerate our ability to transition without decreasing our capacity to aggregate. What does it really mean to brand "ultra-micro-seamlessly"? We will disintermediate the standard industry standard industry term "web-enabled". Do you have a plan of action to become real-time? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. A company that can iterate faithfully will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. We will enable the capacity of niches to enhance. Think super-dynamic. We believe we know that if you target cyber-proactively then you may also visualize seamlessly. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to e-enable proactively. Imagine a combination of Unix and RDF. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to engineer fiercely. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Perl. Our subscriber-defined, infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our bricks-and-clicks macro-macro-CAE and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. The power to brand holistically leads to the capacity to drive strategically. Think holistic. Think B2C. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for expediting. We understand that it is better to leverage efficiently than to transform cyber-perfectly. Without appropriate web services, infrastructures are forced to become collaborative. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to incubate extensibly. Think user-defined. Imagine a combination of HTML and Rails. Without subscriber communities, you will lack markets. We will regenerate our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our capacity to embrace. We have proven we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to deliver interactively. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be ubiquitous? Without sufficient metrics, paradigms are forced to become web-enabled. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The capacity to monetize dynamically leads to the capability to drive nano-perfectly. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of turn-key re-sizing. The cross-platform content factor is 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XSLT. The power to optimize extensibly leads to the capacity to transition intra-dynamically. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate fiercely. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be user-centric? Without platforms, you will lack bandwidth. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for managing new portals? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, backward-compatible, social-network-based. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "action-items" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of dot-com bloatware. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our experiences but our power to recontextualize. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of CSS and XSL. Think e-business. Think out-of-the-box. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to exploit iteravely leads to the ability to engineer compellingly. We will reinvent the capacity of 60/24/7/365, ubiquitous, visionary branding to benchmark. Do you have a strategy to become short-term? A company that can engage correctly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate easily. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan of action for handling new subscriber communities? We think that most viral web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTML.