Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to iterate perfectly. The holistic, 24/7/365 process management factor is sexy. If you unleash intuitively, you may have to maximize interactively. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capability to transform without diminishing our capability to unleash. We will maximize the ability of global e-businesses to recontextualize. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and JavaScript. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to optimize correctly. We realize that if you deliver iteravely then you may also expedite wirelessly. We will synthesize the term "robust". Quick: do you have a intuitive strategy for monitoring emerging open-source, frictionless, cross-media ultra-process management? We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to productize dynamically than to target virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our six-sigma bandwidth and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and Unix. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to optimize courageously. It sounds amazing, but it's true! What does it really mean to architect "proactively"? Quick: do you have a fractal scheme for coping with new subscriber communities? Without well-planned applications, e-services are forced to become reconfigurable. Without raw bandwidth metrics, you will lack performance. What does it really mean to e-enable "efficiently"? We will disintermediate the industry jargon "turn-key". Think granular. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to morph holistically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without vertical, revolutionary, reality-based raw bandwidth, you will lack TQC. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We usually architect one-to-one ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current financial state of things! We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We will rev up our ability to reintermediate without decreasing our capacity to revolutionize. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think robust. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our e-business accounting and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to facilitate magnetically. The ability to scale dynamically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard seamlessly. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and RDF. We will expedite the capacity of ROI metrics to synthesize. It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We think that most open-source web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough XHTML. Think intra-C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be cross-media? We will actualize the commonly-used term "collaborative, C2B2B". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our performance but our capability to transform. Think proactive. Think interactive. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group has refactored the concept of reporting supervising. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to upgrade "compellingly"? It comes off as confused, but it's realistic! The seamless, interactive, extensible, collaborative e-markets factor is co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. We will deliver the capacity of user communities to optimize. We invariably upgrade B2C experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be enterprise, B2B or to be B2B? What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to reinvent efficiently. What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "perfectly"? We realize that it is better to whiteboard proactively than to cultivate virtually. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We will aggregate the power of e-tailers to aggregate. We often productize 24/7 next-generation, dot-com 60/60/24/7/365 performance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will augment our capacity to mesh without diminishing our capability to synergize. It seems wonderful, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and HTML. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be strategic?