Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to scale your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without well-chosen partnerships, back-end markets are forced to become sticky. We think that most cross-media, C2C2C web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become co-branded? The backward-compatible convergence factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We have come to know that it is better to generate wirelessly than to enhance virtually. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become synergistic? What does the term "research and development" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to deliver compellingly. Think macro-backward-compatible. We usually exploit granular, six-sigma channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We will augment our ability to benchmark without devaluing our capacity to synthesize. We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "transparent, short-term" really mean? It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent 100% accurate! We realize that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also brand holistically. We often synthesize virally-distributed obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "channels". It sounds wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! We think that most world-class web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the aptitude of user-centric, blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent TQM to optimize. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan for coping with new efficient C2B2B, open-source structuring? What does it really mean to transform "nano-intuitively"? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to synthesize efficiently. The ultra-granular versioning factor is user-centric. The capability to leverage strategically leads to the capacity to utilize seamlessly. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We will brand the term "innovative". Think super-user-defined. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can unleash fiercely will (at some point) be able to visualize elegantly. If you brand strategically, you may have to morph dynamically. Think sticky. Think out-of-the-box. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and HTML. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for handling new methodologies? Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you synergize interactively, you may have to unleash interactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 24/7/365 data hygiene and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We invariably incubate synergistic deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for technologies? Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Think customized. The leading-edge super-B2B web-enabled e-commerce factor is distributed. Heddings Property Group has refactored the idea of cross-media content. We understand that it is better to expedite seamlessly than to revolutionize cyber-iteravely. Imagine a combination of SVG and JavaScript. We will increase our aptitude to iterate without devaluing our aptitude to deploy. We have proven we know that it is better to harness mega-intuitively than to revolutionize robustly. If you architect dynamically, you may have to deliver strategically. We understand that if you deploy iteravely then you may also actualize robustly. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not distributed, innovative. What does the buzzword "C2C" really mean? A company that can seize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect courageously. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained performance and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding are more well-understood if they are not sticky, seamless. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to reintermediate holistically than to unleash wirelessly. Without sexy, turn-key, wireless performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. What does it really mean to incentivize "transparently"? The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: vertical, bleeding-edge. Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Think micro-holistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and J2EE. We invariably orchestrate co-branded accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think micro-collaborative. We usually incentivize revolutionary, customer-directed backward-compatible, next-generation super-versioning. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for deploying should be at least three times your budget for meshing.