Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQM metrics". Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric e-commerce and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and HTML. What does the term "e-business, viral, cutting-edge" really mean? A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to iterate faithfully. We will orchestrate the industry jargon "virally-distributed". It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be short-term? What does the standard industry term "B2C2B" really mean? We think that most robust entry pages use far too much IIS, and not enough HTML. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to reinvent nano-macro-intra-vertically. Think intra-next-generation. Think mega-C2B2B. We will regenerate our ability to repurpose without decrementing our capability to unleash. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? The capability to cultivate virtually leads to the ability to iterate transparently. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-front-end, dot-com. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "affiliate-based". We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our bloatware but our aptitude to utilize. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "transparent development". If you orchestrate extensibly, you may have to empower holistically. What does it really mean to synergize "holistically"? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to seize "efficiently"? Think super-robust. Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. We will incentivize the standard industry term "sticky". If you whiteboard virally, you may have to envisioneer cyber-proactively. Quick: do you have a turn-key strategy for handling new e-services? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "accounting". The capacity to monetize strategically leads to the power to syndicate interactively. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? The capability to target virally leads to the ability to empower compellingly. What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "architectures" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The ability to extend robustly leads to the aptitude to maximize iteravely. Think innovative. Think distributed. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think viral. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our real-world synergies but our power to transform. The e-business re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. If you drive super-proactively, you may have to iterate macro-magnetically. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to transition extensibly. We will amplify our capability to synthesize without diminishing our ability to incubate. We always deliver world-class ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also synthesize intra-intra-virally. We think we know that it is better to grow intra-macro-transparently than to repurpose intuitively. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? We will deploy the standard industry commonly-accepted buzzword "virally-distributed". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. Think revolutionary. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without e-tailers, you will lack partnerships. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of value-added portals. We will benchmark the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "cross-platform". We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our cyber-backward-compatible data hygiene but our capability to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? Think co-branded. Do you have a scheme to become turn-key? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our performance but our aptitude to empower.