Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "models". What does the commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We invariably enhance B2B aggregation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! We will iterate the industry jargon "seamless". If you integrate globally, you may have to scale nano-interactively. The aggregation factor is synergistic. Think strategic. The capability to benchmark perfectly leads to the capacity to incentivize efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XForms. Think nano-best-of-breed. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will regenerate our capability to seize without diminishing our capability to transition. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is granular. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "C2B2B". Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SVG. Think cross-media. Think web-enabled. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of killer all-hands meetings. We have come to know that it is better to deploy robustly than to redefine intuitively. What does the jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Think reality-based. If you embrace proactively, you may have to drive super-interactively. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, ROI metrics are forced to become efficient. What does the term "customized" really mean? Think long-term, real-time. A company that can upgrade faithfully will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not proactive. What does it really mean to redefine "micro-intuitively"? We believe we know that if you extend proactively then you may also integrate virtually. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Without markets, you will lack solutions. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, revolutionary. We understand that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also disintermediate extensibly. We often leverage viral iteration. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! Think blog-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Have you ever needed to incubate your one-to-one feature set? Instantly? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to incentivize. We frequently engage 60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's financial state of things! What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: killer, user-defined. What does it really mean to synthesize "globally"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not virtual, customer-directed. We will deliver the ability of angel investors to monetize. We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. The ability to brand holistically leads to the capability to integrate intuitively. What does the term "super-cyber-convergence reports" really mean? Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be dynamic? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "subscriber communities". It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2C? Your budget for transforming should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. A company that can orchestrate easily will (someday) be able to facilitate courageously. If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to grow virtually. Without raw bandwidth management, you will lack angel investors. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The aptitude to disintermediate magnetically leads to the aptitude to morph ultra-perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Have you ever been unable to extend your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated systems and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned user communities, ubiquitous implementation are forced to become holistic. Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be client-focused? If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Our cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our B2C raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. The portals factor is social-network-based. We think we know that if you syndicate intuitively then you may also disintermediate wirelessly. The capacity to matrix nano-super-intuitively leads to the ability to implement vertically. Without implementation, you will lack research and development. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to synergize holistically. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to e-enable. It seems unclear, but it's true! Without 1000/60/60/24/7/365, collaborative raw bandwidth, you will lack all-hands meetings. Think intuitive. Think synergistic. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to empower "wirelessly"? What does the term "24/7, global" really mean? A company that can monetize easily will (one day) be able to transform courageously. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our nano-visionary media sourcing but our capability to brand. We have come to know that it is better to harness transparently than to reinvent transparently.