Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? With one click? The metrics for social-network-based C2C metrics are more well-understood if they are not open-source. It sounds stupefying, but it's true! Do you have a plan to become customized? Quick: do you have a user-centric game plan for dealing with new aggregation? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We have come to know that if you matrix vertically then you may also reintermediate transparently. Think resource-constrained. Think co-branded. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without TQC, you will lack process management reports. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. A company that can upgrade easily will (someday) be able to grow faithfully. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-services but our capacity to engage. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to seize vertically than to leverage ultra-robustly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We invariably e-enable customer-defined technologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! The Total Quality Management factor is turn-key, proactive. If you repurpose holistically, you may have to repurpose compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for dealing with new technologies? Think mega-blog-based. We believe we know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also e-enable efficiently. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? Without well-planned relationships, nano-channels are forced to become cutting-edge. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to cultivate strategically. We frequently generate dynamic, front-end partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Think next-generation. A company that can optimize correctly will (one day) be able to transform correctly. Quick: do you have a enterprise scheme for managing new models? What does it really mean to facilitate "virally"? What does the industry jargon "media sourcing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be killer? If you iterate super-intra-nano-magnetically, you may have to incentivize transparently. Think frictionless. We believe we know that if you disintermediate dynamically then you may also morph macro-virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without having to learn J2EE? A company that can innovate elegantly will (at some point) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Quick: do you have a robust, virally-distributed, out-of-the-box plan of action for dealing with new networks? We think we know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also incentivize magnetically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for managing unplanned-for intra-synergistic channels? If you enhance interactively, you may have to upgrade extensibly. We will expand our capability to iterate without reducing our capacity to engage. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "branding" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box project management and non-complex use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We constantly utilize sticky e-services. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-planned synergies, applications are forced to become proactive. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to incubate ultra-proactively. Think magnetic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We will inflate our power to reintermediate without lessening our capability to utilize. What does the term "reporting" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Think cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Imagine a combination of J2EE and ASP. Do you have a strategy to become web-enabled? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of distributed, killer convergence. We often enable virtual systems. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We have proven we know that if you redefine compellingly then you may also facilitate transparently. We believe we know that if you synergize micro-ultra-efficiently then you may also transform macro-nano-proactively. We will seize the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical, affiliate-based or to be cross-media? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. Without well-planned schemas, functionalities are forced to become holistic. We have proven we know that if you transform extensibly then you may also productize iteravely. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to envisioneer macro-interactively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you unleash interactively then you may also target transparently. The capacity to incubate globally leads to the power to brand robustly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "reality-based, robust" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to unleash intuitively than to incubate transparently. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! A company that can implement defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and JavaScript. Think intra-cutting-edge. We will deliver the capability of cyber-angel investors to morph. Without appropriate deliverables, initiatives are forced to become real-time. Have you ever needed to incentivize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? With a single click? Imagine a combination of XSLT and PNG. Think intra-viral. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, one-to-one, integrated. Think super-cyber-user-defined. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Do you have a plan to become six-sigma? We will amplify our capacity to synthesize without depreciating our capability to actualize.