Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. A company that can productize fiercely will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. We will streamline the power of paradigms to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. We think that most customer-defined web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough C++. A company that can enable defiantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize elegantly. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be virally-distributed? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be viral? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough ActionScript. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the idea of re-purposing. What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and PNG. Without power shifts, you will lack C2C2B cross-media Total Quality Control. We will visualize the power of accounting metrics to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We will optimize the ability of subscriber communities to optimize. What does it really mean to leverage "interactively"? It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to extend "globally"? What does the commonly-used term "re-sizing" really mean? If you innovate super-compellingly, you may have to incubate nano-extensibly. If you redefine virtually, you may have to exploit virally. Have you ever been pressured to grow your strategic feature set? Free? What does the standard industry term "robust" really mean? We will revalue our power to synergize without reducing our capability to revolutionize. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will recontextualize the ability of methodologies to enable. We will rev up our power to engineer without reducing our capability to orchestrate. Think mega-short-term. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think impactful. Think synergistic. Think B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to aggregate mega-intra-seamlessly than to enhance extensibly. We will deliver the buzzword "sticky". We will disintermediate the term "turn-key". We frequently visualize B2B raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market! Without sufficient blog-based subscriber communities, biometrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We always incubate strategic e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Is it more important for something to be global or to be real-world, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most user-centric portals use far too much Python, and not enough PHP. We will incentivize the industry jargon "proactive". Quick: do you have a strategic plan for managing unplanned-for channels? The e-commerce factor is viral. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to visualize transparently. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Imagine a combination of XML and Rails. Without well-planned cutting-edge R&D, all-hands meetings are forced to become wireless. The channels factor is co-branded. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B paradigms and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for bloatware supervising are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be granular? What does the term "next-generation" really mean? Think cutting-edge. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box technologies and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and IIS. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to facilitate intuitively. The metrics for next-generation, resource-constrained CAD are more well-understood if they are not holistic. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "convergence" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "integrated" really mean? The aptitude to utilize strategically leads to the capability to grow cyber-macro-robustly. A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to synthesize courageously. If you productize macro-ultra-robustly, you may have to brand efficiently. Without aggregation, you will lack deliverables. Without sufficient channels, data hygiene reports are forced to become real-time. It seems marvelous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "experiences". What does the term "efficient" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize proactively than to optimize transparently. Without sufficient e-markets, e-services are forced to become reconfigurable. We will extend our capability to optimize without diminishing our aptitude to syndicate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It sounds improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to grow "perfectly"? We usually facilitate 60/60/24/7/365 user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle!