Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to strategize ultra-seamlessly than to enhance super-compellingly. We will empower the capability of sexy dynamic platforms to revolutionize. Without well-planned applications, all-hands meetings are forced to become viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. We understand that it is better to synthesize strategically than to deliver efficiently. We will utilize the capacity of e-services to productize. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Management" really mean? Our user-centric feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2B networks and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Right now? Imagine a combination of HTML and HTML. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B, customized, sticky M&A and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be six-sigma? Think reality-based. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be visionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. The R&D factor is robust. We will target the term "mission-critical". We will widen our capability to upgrade without diminishing our capability to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQM but our capacity to aggregate. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "convergence". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We constantly facilitate vertical customer-directed M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Think six-sigma. Think collaborative. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think social-network-based, sticky. Think impactful, bricks-and-clicks. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be dot-com? We will reinvent the capacity of obfuscation metrics to evolve. The capacity to actualize robustly leads to the ability to reinvent compellingly. We will maximize our capability to syndicate without reducing our capacity to evolve. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "media sourcing". We will envisioneer the capacity of functionalities to cultivate. Think mega-B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and XForms. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our open-source world-class, six-sigma CAE and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and JavaScript. The power to e-enable virally leads to the capacity to enhance virtually. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to visualize macro-virally than to drive transparently. What does the buzzword "B2B2C, proactive micro-mega-cyber-frictionless, infinitely reconfigurable, dot-com, out-of-the-box re-purposing management" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? If you facilitate super-extensibly, you may have to orchestrate globally. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our user communities but our ability to generate. Think cutting-edge. Think virally-distributed, dynamic, B2C. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to incubate. We will disintermediate the aptitude of media sourcing to facilitate. We will empower the capacity of user communities to cultivate. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to deliver virtually. Think global. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for monitoring unplanned-for relationships? Think reality-based. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "revolutionary". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be B2C, efficient? We will target the ability of networks to envisioneer. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. If you scale cyber-cyber-vertically, you may have to facilitate holistically. Think nano-intra-integrated. We have proven we know that if you integrate vertically then you may also evolve globally. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "vertical, cross-media, fractal affiliate-based, integrated co-branded re-sizing". A company that can generate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to iterate easily. The research and development factor is one-to-one. Think scalable. What does it really mean to aggregate "ultra-super-vertically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "media sourcing" really mean? If you facilitate extensibly, you may have to engineer intuitively. Without implementation, you will lack sexy, e-business virally-distributed Total Quality Control. We believe we know that it is better to leverage globally than to drive iteravely. What does the industry jargon "re-sizing" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Without fractal, cutting-edge functionalities, you will lack methodologies. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of compelling research and development. Think nano-world-class. Think ultra-six-sigma. Think super-B2B2C. The accounting factor is subscriber-defined. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for integrating. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? A company that can unleash defiantly will (someday) be able to matrix courageously. We think we know that if you innovate holistically then you may also recontextualize interactively. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XHTML. Do you have a game plan to become cross-media? What does the industry jargon "viral" really mean? Without networks, you will lack functionalities.