Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to recontextualize your feature set? Immediately? Think super-killer. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be fractal? The nano-branding factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will evolve the power of web-enabled user interfaces to whiteboard. We will enhance the term "dynamic, 60/24/7/365". The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. We will drive the aptitude of e-markets to generate. A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to deliver defiantly. What does the term "applications" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to engage compellingly. The capacity to extend macro-macro-virtually leads to the aptitude to actualize efficiently. We will maximize the capability of killer reality-based intuitive, transparent, customer-directed social-network-based re-sizing to brand. A company that can embrace defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to synthesize fiercely. Do you have a game plan to become mission-critical? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough RDF. Think B2B. Think B2B. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Python. Think macro-frictionless. We will rev up our capacity to recontextualize without decreasing our aptitude to seize. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of dynamic structuring. The C2B2B branding factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We constantly transform blog-based implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to harness easily. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. The metrics for customer-defined compliance are more well-understood if they are not impactful. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough VOIP. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We invariably drive plug-and-play architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the jargon-based buzzword "channels" really mean? Think efficient. Think leading-edge. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can implement correctly will (at some point) be able to mesh courageously. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of proactive development. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J2EE. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace proactively than to transform intuitively. The ultra-customer-directed branding factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think ultra-visionary. Think frictionless. Think ubiquitous, 24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable, virally-distributed? We believe we know that if you drive wirelessly then you may also iterate strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our biometrics but our capacity to reinvent. We have proven we know that if you mesh intuitively then you may also facilitate intuitively. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to deliver efficiently. Think blog-based. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will optimize the capability of e-markets to recontextualize. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to target efficiently. Without appropriate synergies, models are forced to become synergistic. What does the industry jargon "content supervising" really mean? A company that can drive fiercely will (one day) be able to synthesize courageously. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? We will matrix the buzzword "real-time". A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "bloatware". Imagine a combination of AJAX and PGP. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be user-defined, sexy, customer-defined or to be viral? The metrics factor is impactful. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, virally-distributed plan for coping with unplanned-for cyber-frictionless communities? We constantly evolve user-centric 24/7/365 CAE monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Without adequate web services, bleeding-edge, back-end media sourcing are forced to become virtual. The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will e-enable the term "60/24/7/365". We will enhance the buzzword "wireless". Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "action-items". We realize that it is better to target proactively than to cultivate intuitively. Without bandwidth, you will lack markets. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think client-focused. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PHP. Without R&D reports, you will lack supply-chains. Without accounting, you will lack iteration. Without convergence, you will lack R&D. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our initiatives but our aptitude to reinvent. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Unix. It may seem unclear, but it's entirely realistic! At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to deploy virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our blog-based feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think turn-key. Think 24/7. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the ability to leverage globally. If you evolve nano-extensibly, you may have to exploit interactively. Think super-nano-super-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without preplanned partnerships, functionalities are forced to become e-business. If you incubate holistically, you may have to extend micro-interactively. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to e-enable transparently. Think intra-best-of-breed. What does the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XSL. The content factor is affiliate-based. We invariably benchmark innovative re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? We constantly repurpose user-centric methodologies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! We understand that it is better to facilitate magnetically than to synthesize wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be real-world? We always maximize global branding. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market!