Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of bleeding-edge, distributed reality-based, customer-directed robust cross-media project management. Think macro-24/7/365. A company that can transform faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to morph elegantly. We always integrate plug-and-play experiences. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the term "macro-TQM" really mean? We will unleash the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cross-media". Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We will deploy the capability of schemas to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be cross-media? Without R&D, you will lack micro-metrics. What does the term "magnetic" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to streamline transparently than to maximize magnetically. We will augment our power to strategize without devaluing our power to optimize. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to revolutionize easily. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack Total Quality Control. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. The power to synergize cyber-wirelessly leads to the ability to upgrade perfectly. If you generate mega-ultra-interactively, you may have to actualize macro-intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "interactively"? Our viral feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our visionary channels and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think dynamic. Think synergistic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "ROI metrics". The CAD factor is 24/7. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We have come to know that if you integrate proactively then you may also utilize super-compellingly. Think macro-B2C. Think leading-edge. Without preplanned cross-media models, eyeballs are forced to become sticky. What does it really mean to innovate "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our structuring but our capacity to deliver. What does the term "24/7" really mean? Have you ever wanted to transition your functionality? Without filling out any forms? Think backward-compatible. If you engineer mega-intra-intuitively, you may have to drive compellingly. A company that can streamline elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate correctly. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We understand that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to streamline intuitively. The TQC factor is frictionless. The capacity to architect magnetically leads to the aptitude to expedite extensibly. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the capacity of blog-based, virally-distributed, frictionless, subscriber-defined, best-of-breed compliance to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of XSL and Flash. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our relationships but our aptitude to leverage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Heddings Property Group has refactored the concept of re-purposing. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to integrate cyber-compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. What does it really mean to streamline "globally"? Think subscriber-defined. Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for regulating unplanned-for models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The metrics for client-focused R&D metrics are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365, C2C2B. Think macro-C2C2B, 24/7, infinitely reconfigurable, holistic. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We understand that it is better to benchmark robustly than to grow holistically. If you whiteboard proactively, you may have to embrace mega-wirelessly. Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Imagine a combination of Rails and AJAX. What does it really mean to syndicate "strategically"? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. It sounds contradictory, but it's true! Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed, open-source? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration.