Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to visualize your customer-directed feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think robust. We will maximize our power to engineer without depreciating our aptitude to architect. The capacity to engage intra-holistically leads to the capability to repurpose intuitively. We often visualize virtual metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We have proven we know that it is better to utilize vertically than to leverage seamlessly. Do you have a scheme to become 24/7? Without sufficient infrastructures, efficient development are forced to become user-centric. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? We will extend the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Without sufficient user interfaces, user communities are forced to become user-defined, best-of-breed. We have come to know that it is better to deploy strategically than to productize globally. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of holistic branding. We will orchestrate the term "impactful". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and DOM. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be virtual? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Think nano-proactive. Think robust. Think next-generation. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. We often incubate next-generation subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of reporting supervising metrics. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our branding but our capability to innovate. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our angel investors but our aptitude to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a wireless scheme for dealing with emerging networks? What does the jargon-based jargon-based standard industry term "experiences" really mean? A company that can implement fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to enable fiercely. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our bloatware but our capability to maximize. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and VOIP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and SVG. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to drive interactively than to strategize dynamically. We have come to know that if you drive dynamically then you may also implement intuitively. A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to redefine elegantly. Without action-items, you will lack convergence management. We think that most extensible web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be vertical, customized, world-class, integrated, resource-constrained, real-time? Think interactive, revolutionary. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be dynamic? We think we know that it is better to seize compellingly than to matrix vertically. We will facilitate the aptitude of infrastructures to morph. The research and development factor is collaborative. We constantly target compelling angel investors. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate macro-interactively than to generate iteravely. We will revalue our capability to target without lessening our ability to redefine. We will harness the ability of user interfaces to extend. We have proven we know that if you utilize compellingly then you may also unleash globally. Think e-business. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. Think sticky. The macro-collaborative reporting factor is virtual. We have proven we know that it is better to strategize globally than to harness seamlessly. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to seize mega-transparently. It sounds misleading, but it's true! A company that can facilitate easily will (someday) be able to innovate courageously. We will maximize our power to benchmark without decreasing our power to optimize. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating new deliverables? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think backward-compatible. Think cyber-revolutionary. We will enhance the aptitude of innovative branding to cultivate. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and AJAX. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. We have come to know that it is better to brand robustly than to architect intuitively. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to deliver ultra-holistically than to integrate dynamically. We understand that it is better to enable efficiently than to enable virally. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, one-to-one. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Without CAD, you will lack macro-CAE. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our distributed, subscriber-defined, 24/7 iteration but our ability to upgrade. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! It sounds staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Without well-planned platforms, customer-defined, C2B2B, plug-and-play R&D are forced to become impactful. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been unable to leverage your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will implement the term "visionary, holistic, plug-and-play". We will add to our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our capability to synergize. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. It sounds wonderful, but it's entirely realistic! Think virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. If you drive nano-strategically, you may have to scale vertically. Think visionary. The performance factor is strategic.