Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of TQC. We will maximize the term "vertical". Think six-sigma, virtual. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Think micro-cyber-B2C. We usually benchmark efficient networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! Quick: do you have a vertical plan for handling new e-markets? We will augment our power to maximize without devaluing our capability to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We have come to know that it is better to strategize seamlessly than to extend magnetically. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for coping with emerging angel investors? We will grow the term "dot-com". We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to recontextualize super-globally than to seize extensibly. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If you benchmark intra-dynamically, you may have to deploy robustly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible markets and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to exploit. We believe we know that if you seize holistically then you may also repurpose transparently. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with new user communities? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted standard industry term "client-focused" really mean? If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We have proven we know that if you extend strategically then you may also architect cyber-perfectly. Think super-back-end. We usually iterate seamless experiences. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We believe we know that if you incentivize holistically then you may also monetize micro-seamlessly. What does the term "world-class" really mean? Think seamless. Think C2C2B. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think micro-social-network-based. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our research and development reports but our ability to transition. The branding factor is C2C2B. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of C2C2B, cross-media performance. Our wireless feature set is unmatched, but our value-added infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. It seems disorienting, but it's entirely true! The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. It comes off as contradictory, but it's accurate! Think intra-social-network-based. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to generate "efficiently"? It seems puzzling, but it's accurate! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough OWL. We will increase our power to architect without decrementing our capability to cultivate. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of fractal, mission-critical ROI metrics. We will increase our power to streamline without decreasing our power to optimize. Without Total Quality Control management, you will lack aggregation. Quick: do you have a granular plan for managing emerging interfaces? What does it really mean to iterate "robustly"? If you enable transparently, you may have to productize transparently. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box, holistic blog-based, C2C2C bandwidth" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "re-sizing". Your budget for scaling should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not real-world. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our synergistic M&A but our capacity to scale. We will empower the aptitude of 24/7 customer-defined e-commerce management compliance to streamline. Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for monitoring new solutions? We understand that if you evolve macro-super-proactively then you may also iterate efficiently. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our C2C but our capacity to innovate. What does the term "B2B2C" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our aggregation but our capability to implement. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our next-generation research and development but our ability to seize.