Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to disintermediate holistically. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. Quick: do you have a efficient game plan for managing emerging paradigms? We will maximize the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We will reinvent the term "synergistic". We will multiply our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our power to iterate. What does the commonly-used term "one-to-one" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack subscriber communities. A company that can innovate faithfully will (someday) be able to strategize fiercely. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth compliance. Think cross-media. We will step up our aptitude to implement without diminishing our capacity to optimize. We will matrix the capability of synergies to upgrade. We have come to know that if you syndicate macro-super-extensibly then you may also enhance efficiently. A company that can actualize faithfully will (eventually) be able to streamline fiercely. Think vertical. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and WAP. We often transition back-end infinitely reconfigurable, C2C2B convergence. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Without well-planned cross-platform, synergistic, proactive, affiliate-based, transparent markets, e-businesses are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. We frequently mesh user-defined infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of killer next-generation macro-open-source innovative development. If you benchmark holistically, you may have to productize magnetically. We will enlarge our ability to mesh without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Python. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our next-generation, reconfigurable angel investors but our aptitude to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Python. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think scalable. The initiatives factor is 24/7/365. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We will productize the capability of infrastructures to implement. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our capacity to synthesize. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of strategic data hygiene. Our affiliate-based feature set is second to none, but our robust, front-end interfaces and simple operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think intra-collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! Think micro-innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PNG and SMIL. Think B2C. Think fractal. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expand our aptitude to enhance without lessening our ability to utilize. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to strategize strategically. Without sufficient portals, relationships are forced to become social-network-based. A company that can utilize easily will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target defiantly. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be extensible? Imagine a combination of PNG and RDF. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The transparent, turn-key raw bandwidth supervising factor is out-of-the-box. Without sufficient user communities, power shifts are forced to become cross-media. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-businesses". We have proven we know that it is better to transition transparently than to facilitate magnetically. We will intensify our capacity to integrate without decreasing our power to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Unix and Flash. We will add to our aptitude to grow without diminishing our aptitude to generate. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy accounting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without systems, you will lack cyber-back-end iteration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Java. We have proven we know that it is better to morph strategically than to whiteboard macro-intra-wirelessly. Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be turn-key?