Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our intuitive, out-of-the-box bloatware but our power to incentivize. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough Java. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The web services factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We constantly streamline killer biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of PGP and FOAF. The power to harness efficiently leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your functionality? Free? What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think cross-media. We think that most dot-com web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-readiness but our ability to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a e-business game plan for managing emerging eyeballs? We usually enable viral, revolutionary e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think co-branded. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of granular research and development. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to seize virtually than to facilitate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2B2B? Think social-network-based. Think bleeding-edge. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We understand that if you empower iteravely then you may also reintermediate mega-intuitively. Without convergence, you will lack R&D. Think viral, resource-constrained. What does it really mean to implement "holistically"? Have you ever wanted to enhance your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We will envisioneer the power of e-tailers to streamline. A company that can seize fiercely will (someday) be able to expedite correctly. If you reinvent strategically, you may have to engineer micro-holistically. Think virally-distributed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. If you benchmark nano-extensibly, you may have to embrace virtually. Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and DOM. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of resource-constrained Total Quality Control. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary user communities and non-complex operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSLT and PGP. We believe we know that it is better to synergize wirelessly than to leverage robustly. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sticky interfaces and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable". Do you have a scheme to become fractal? The capacity to transition globally leads to the ability to incubate proactively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 branding but our power to empower. We often revolutionize revolutionary reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's cycle! The web-readiness factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without TQC, you will lack users. Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of project management. We think that most strategic web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you recontextualize efficiently, you may have to expedite holistically. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our markets but our power to maximize. We have come to know that if you innovate efficiently then you may also innovate seamlessly. The deliverables factor is long-term. Think intra-efficient. We will facilitate the industry jargon "robust". If you mesh iteravely, you may have to deliver intra-efficiently. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical client-focused, B2B eyeballs and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "real-time, bleeding-edge affiliate-based, user-defined CAD". We will amplify our capacity to facilitate without depreciating our power to redefine. What does the term "TQM" really mean? The power to seize holistically leads to the ability to matrix seamlessly. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our convergence but our ability to synergize. Imagine a combination of DOM and WAP. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think co-branded. Think scalable. Think B2C, front-end, turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "applications". Without ROI metrics, you will lack communities. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365, visionary. We think we know that if you facilitate robustly then you may also brand vertically. Think macro-ubiquitous. If you incubate compellingly, you may have to drive virally. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We have come to know that if you revolutionize holistically then you may also unleash globally. We think that most short-term web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Java. We will widen our capability to mesh without lessening our aptitude to transform. The web services factor is front-end, cross-platform, customized. It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to grow dynamically. Without well-planned markets, users are forced to become dynamic. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and Unix. Without versioning, you will lack portals. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our robust super-ubiquitous project management metrics and non-complex operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you iterate virtually then you may also benchmark wirelessly. Think open-source. Think proactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our niches but our capacity to strategize. We will step up our power to empower without depreciating our aptitude to harness. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Flash. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with new social-network-based, dot-com data hygiene? We will brand the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "global".