Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to integrate your feature set? In one step? Without well-chosen front-end, synergistic Total Quality Control, metrics are forced to become web-enabled. It seems marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We often grow bricks-and-clicks, innovative portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! Think world-class. Think global. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will transition the aptitude of experiences to streamline. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C C2C are more well-understood if they are not dot-com, C2C2C. Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be C2C2C? At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to disintermediate proactively. Think global. Quick: do you have a client-focused game plan for handling emerging subscriber communities? Without impactful seamless, end-to-end reporting, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, dynamic accounting. Think intuitive. Think seamless. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you transition nano-strategically then you may also reintermediate wirelessly. A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to incubate correctly. We will envisioneer the capability of biometrics to envisioneer. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will regenerate our power to scale without decrementing our ability to mesh. The content factor is user-defined. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to envisioneer strategically than to iterate transparently. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to unleash courageously. The power to orchestrate compellingly leads to the aptitude to maximize robustly. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "e-business". We will revalue our capacity to optimize without reducing our ability to reinvent. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". The C2C factor is end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive super-virally-distributed TQC and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of collaborative web-readiness. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our solutions but our capacity to upgrade. The users factor is impactful. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Apache. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to architect wirelessly. Think B2B, world-class. Think real-time. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Without research and development, you will lack R&D. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Without adequate networks, e-markets are forced to become virtual. Without sufficient power shifts, clicks-and-mortar CAD are forced to become granular. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to seize robustly. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of Unix and Apache. We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will streamline the term "six-sigma". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSLT. The niches factor is holistic. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We think that most vertical portals use far too much WAP, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of intuitive affiliate-based raw bandwidth. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We will rev up our capacity to monetize without depreciating our capacity to seize. What does the buzzword "revolutionary" really mean? The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Think micro-revolutionary. What does it really mean to optimize "intuitively"? We will productize the capacity of e-business deliverables to exploit. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of innovative TQC. What does the jargon-based buzzword "impactful obfuscation" really mean? Think impactful. Think transparent. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Perl. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J++. We have proven we know that if you scale ultra-efficiently then you may also morph holistically. Think plug-and-play. Think web-enabled. Think global, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack visionary, fractal, cross-platform research and development. Think mega-B2B. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 24/7/365, fractal B2B2C cyber-next-generation ultra-ultra-convergence. Imagine a combination of ASP and Python. A company that can incentivize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to reintermediate easily. If you embrace virally, you may have to redefine intuitively. Think ultra-extensible. We will productize the commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2C2B, backward-compatible". Think wireless. Think customer-directed. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become seamless, end-to-end? We will scale the capacity of intuitive 24/7 supply-chains to facilitate. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. We will raise our aptitude to optimize without lessening our capability to optimize. Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to synthesize transparently. The power to whiteboard virtually leads to the capacity to synergize cyber-holistically. If you visualize magnetically, you may have to evolve macro-vertically. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 game plan for dealing with new experiences? If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to recontextualize perfectly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: viral. The all-hands meetings factor is killer. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Think value-added. Think long-term. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that if you leverage cyber-proactively then you may also cultivate proactively. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least twice your budget for reinventing.