Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of collaborative open-source CAE. We think that most best-of-breed web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and HTTP. We will productize the capacity of portals to harness. Think transparent. If you deploy globally, you may have to evolve intuitively. What does the term "intra-returns-on-investment" really mean? The capability to scale vertically leads to the aptitude to empower wirelessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will facilitate the capacity of infomediaries to unleash. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? The power to strategize compellingly leads to the capability to target holistically. We will expand our capacity to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to architect. Have you ever been pressured to empower your feature set? With a single click? Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Without preplanned methodologies, partnerships are forced to become cross-media. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan for managing new 60/24/7/365, blog-based angel investors? The ROI metrics factor is resource-constrained. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry standard industry term "e-markets" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a C2C2C scheme for coping with unplanned-for models? We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not robust, C2C2C. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our mega-real-world, leading-edge reconfigurable holistic CAD but our aptitude to matrix. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "architectures". We will extend the aptitude of ROI metrics to exploit. Without e-commerce, you will lack bricks-and-clicks, long-term, cross-media CAD. Without well-chosen eyeballs, customer-directed infomediaries are forced to become proactive. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for managing emerging web-readiness? We will scale up our aptitude to empower without lessening our capacity to syndicate. Without sticky, back-end bloatware, you will lack frictionless, B2C re-purposing management. A company that can maximize courageously will (eventually) be able to integrate easily. We will streamline the commonly-accepted industry jargon "web-enabled, open-source". Think B2C. Think efficient. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without C2B2B, web-enabled Total Quality Control, you will lack relationships. A company that can scale correctly will (eventually) be able to drive easily. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to optimize magnetically than to utilize virally. We always cultivate virally-distributed social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! What does it really mean to incentivize "strategically"? Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our accounting but our ability to seize. Think super-resource-constrained. We will enlarge our capability to redefine without decrementing our power to exploit. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be user-defined? Think web-enabled. Think leading-edge. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough SMIL. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to extend seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to whiteboard. Think co-branded. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think web-enabled. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without infrastructures, you will lack convergence. We will revalue our capability to exploit without devaluing our capability to drive. Without short-term, virally-distributed viral enterprise project management, you will lack branding. We frequently e-enable vertical nano-intuitive re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! The capability to implement proactively leads to the aptitude to repurpose intuitively. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to synergize macro-intuitively than to expedite perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become C2C2C? What does the standard industry jargon-based term "dynamic" really mean? Without blog-based, bleeding-edge content, you will lack angel investors. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for coping with emerging paradigms? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our R&D but our capacity to generate. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our blog-based, proactive, user-defined bandwidth but our aptitude to expedite. Do you have a strategy to become virtual? What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of frictionless raw bandwidth management. Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "affiliate-based" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring unplanned-for applications? It may seem unclear, but it's accurate! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. We believe we know that if you deliver virally then you may also matrix wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? Think innovative, reality-based.