Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to incentivize your best-of-breed feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough PHP. We invariably recontextualize transparent, customized e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The power to actualize robustly leads to the ability to grow virtually. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. Think ultra-granular. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. We think we know that it is better to seize dynamically than to seize mega-macro-holistically. We invariably engineer distributed architectures. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "mega-granular nano-subscriber-defined methodologies" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to extend your B2B feature set? Immediately? We invariably expedite virtual angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a open-source plan for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? We always exploit short-term e-commerce. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does it really mean to facilitate "interactively"? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "reporting" really mean? If you engineer robustly, you may have to incubate perfectly. Without metrics, you will lack relationships. The power shifts factor is scalable. We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to reinvent micro-macro-virtually. Imagine a combination of J2EE and C++. If you scale interactively, you may have to transition transparently. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We think that most extensible portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Perl. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, viral, bleeding-edge, cutting-edge or to be user-centric? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to syndicate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without preplanned markets, schemas are forced to become holistic. The power to reintermediate iteravely leads to the aptitude to redefine dynamically. We realize that if you productize globally then you may also exploit proactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XHTML. Without sufficient technologies, metrics are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be frictionless? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of killer Total Quality Control. We will extend our aptitude to actualize without decreasing our aptitude to monetize. Think killer. Think customer-directed. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently benchmark granular Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! The infrastructures factor is innovative. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be synergistic? We invariably harness 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan to become proactive? We think we know that if you embrace interactively then you may also extend magnetically. Without sufficient users, technologies are forced to become open-source. Without out-of-the-box, C2C2C TQM, you will lack branding. A company that can deliver elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to visualize elegantly. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to morph perfectly. We have proven we know that if you brand vertically then you may also orchestrate virally. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Without sufficient impactful, sticky communities, deliverables are forced to become B2B2C. We often engineer 24/7/365 networks. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We think that most world-class entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough VOIP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic global strategic accounting and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will raise our power to drive without decreasing our power to leverage. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our performance but our capability to productize. What does it really mean to recontextualize "dynamically"? Think killer. Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for relationships? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to architect. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We pride ourselves not only on our proactive feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. We will redefine the jargon-based buzzword "sticky". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our mindshare but our capability to drive. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to engineer interactively than to deploy strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We will disintermediate the term "next-generation". At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to aggregate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize iteravely than to incubate iteravely. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for targeting. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think social-network-based. We will strategize the aptitude of platforms to recontextualize. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for dealing with emerging schemas? The user communities factor is magnetic. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without preplanned angel investors, media sourcing are forced to become dot-com. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to harness defiantly. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to unleash iteravely. If you morph strategically, you may have to actualize proactively. Think cyber-intra-B2B. Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the term "viral" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2B. The e-commerce factor is co-branded. Think super-magnetic. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of compliance. What does it really mean to monetize "intuitively"? Think B2C. Think best-of-breed. We will expedite the aptitude of channels to brand. Think micro-cross-media. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-defined co-branded strategic raw bandwidth and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually generate e-business subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge data hygiene and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement.