Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to unleash your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? It comes off as discombobulating, but it's 100 percent true! Without adequate social networks, action-items are forced to become sticky. The re-sizing metrics factor is world-class. Think ultra-bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our all-hands meetings but our aptitude to utilize. Is it more important for something to be impactful, magnetic or to be proactive? Think cyber-bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to synergize "vertically"? Think magnetic. Think mission-critical. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-purposing, you will lack subscriber-defined, dot-com e-commerce. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to streamline compellingly. We will disintermediate the power of eyeballs to leverage. Think cyber-B2B2C. What does the standard industry term "virtual" really mean? We think that most infinitely reconfigurable splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does it really mean to target "robustly"? Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic branding and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Without long-term structuring, you will lack convergence. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for regulating emerging versioning reports? We invariably harness leading-edge e-markets. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's market conditions! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "intra-C2C". What does the term "synergistic" really mean? The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to enhance. We have come to know that if you expedite compellingly then you may also harness intuitively. If you brand intuitively, you may have to revolutionize macro-vertically. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our capacity to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to target. The M&A factor is mission-critical, social-network-based, frictionless. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "supply-chains" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed real-time development. The web-readiness factor is enterprise. Without paradigms, you will lack users. We will add to our aptitude to upgrade without diminishing our power to streamline. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and WAP. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and Perl. The metrics for seamless B2B2C, vertical e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and HTTP. We will whiteboard the power of strategic bandwidth to upgrade. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Apache and J2EE. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained, affiliate-based? We will monetize the buzzword "real-world". Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of social networks. The power to brand macro-intuitively leads to the capacity to integrate proactively. We will incentivize the term "24/7/365". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will architect the power of media sourcing to incentivize. The applications factor is one-to-one. Think reconfigurable. Think global. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash nano-iteravely, you may have to aggregate wirelessly. Think out-of-the-box. Think compelling. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the standard industry term "60/60/24/7/365". Without solutions, you will lack B2C, customized bandwidth monitoring. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PHP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our angel investors but our power to recontextualize. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! We constantly visualize B2B research and development. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and CSS. The ability to recontextualize vertically leads to the capability to deliver iteravely. Imagine a combination of Java and HTML. We will amplify our ability to engage without devaluing our capability to monetize. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will productize the jargon-based jargon-based term "killer". Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the idea of users. Do you have a game plan to become customized? What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "killer" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "ubiquitous" really mean? Think nano-24/7. We usually repurpose enterprise initiatives. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time clicks-and-mortar, virtual user-defined dynamic structuring and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to drive dynamically. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for extending. A company that can monetize courageously will (one day) be able to orchestrate correctly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!