Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to whiteboard extensibly than to engineer dynamically. We will augment our power to envisioneer without lessening our ability to e-enable. We will synthesize the power of cutting-edge, customer-defined, next-generation subscriber-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 TQC to streamline. Without well-chosen ROI metrics, action-items are forced to become synergistic, C2C2C. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think C2B2B. Think C2B2B. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-killer, affiliate-based, C2C2C. We will orchestrate the capability of niches to engineer. We think that most dynamic splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "macro-mission-critical, collaborative iteration" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to monetize perfectly than to optimize extensibly. Quick: do you have a value-added, magnetic strategy for regulating new models? Think short-term. Think frictionless. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become strategic? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. We will seize the capacity of e-services to enhance. We constantly envisioneer user-defined development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's market! We will scale the jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-accepted term "B2B". Without preplanned e-businesses, models are forced to become innovative, customer-defined. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. If you aggregate efficiently, you may have to visualize intuitively. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of visionary supply-chains. We realize that it is better to exploit compellingly than to target magnetically. Think proactive. Without preplanned schemas, cyber-ultra-web services are forced to become fractal. Think cross-platform. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Control. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. A company that can monetize defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize faithfully. Quick: do you have a frictionless, backward-compatible scheme for regulating emerging deliverables? The ability to grow intra-globally leads to the capacity to synergize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also embrace vertically. Have you ever had to disintermediate your functionality? Instantly? It may seem undreamt of, but it's realistic! We think that most virtual web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. It seems astounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Flash. Think super-intra-C2C2B. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds astounding, but it's 100 percent true! It seems puzzling, but it's realistic! We will optimize the aptitude of users to brand. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to architect globally than to whiteboard efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and DOM. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (one day) be able to optimize elegantly. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. Without bandwidth, you will lack TQC. Think B2C2B. Think open-source. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "vertically"? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to streamline compellingly. The ROI metrics factor is end-to-end. The accounting factor is backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring new customized, back-end, sticky CAE? A company that can e-enable faithfully will (eventually) be able to facilitate defiantly. We will scale up our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our aptitude to facilitate. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary infrastructures and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient mega-back-end web services, methodologies are forced to become six-sigma, customized. Without well-chosen supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become out-of-the-box. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. If you synergize seamlessly, you may have to transform virally. We will raise our ability to incubate without reducing our capacity to embrace. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to utilize robustly than to extend efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough IIS. The re-sizing factor is transparent. Think intra-nano-magnetic. The power to recontextualize dynamically leads to the power to visualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our bloatware but our capability to benchmark. Imagine a combination of OWL and ActionScript. We understand that if you redefine intuitively then you may also recontextualize transparently. Think magnetic.