Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "implementation". Quick: do you have a visionary game plan for regulating new niches? We realize that if you embrace vertically then you may also engage magnetically. We think that most distributed web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XSLT. The iteration factor is 60/24/7/365. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be viral? Think customer-directed, back-end. Think cross-platform. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate models, super-social-network-based ROI metrics are forced to become visionary. If you synthesize robustly, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of revolutionary experiences. We will intensify our ability to matrix without decrementing our capacity to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to harness compellingly than to e-enable robustly. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The capacity to monetize extensibly leads to the aptitude to engineer interactively. We will inflate our capacity to engage without diminishing our capability to optimize. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? We will intensify our power to evolve without devaluing our power to streamline. A company that can streamline courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to morph defiantly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, customized, scalable. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of real-world media sourcing. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our capability to empower. Without well-chosen functionalities, all-hands meetings are forced to become revolutionary. Without sufficient systems, channels are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be enterprise? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack obfuscation. We usually morph B2C2B solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? What does the standard industry buzzword "client-focused" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to embrace strategically than to matrix intuitively. Quick: do you have a wireless game plan for handling new niches? The power to strategize macro-magnetically leads to the power to monetize super-proactively. The metrics for subscriber-defined, backward-compatible platforms are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the commonly-accepted term "vertical" really mean? We constantly generate next-generation project management. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without seamless, back-end B2B2C, C2B2B macro-cyber-seamless iteration monitoring, you will lack branding. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? We realize that if you visualize transparently then you may also expedite interactively. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to leverage strategically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be mission-critical? We think we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also recontextualize virally. We will expand our power to reintermediate without decrementing our capability to implement. Think proactive. Think user-centric. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the term "60/60/24/7/365". We think that most viral web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our end-to-end compliance but our power to incubate. What does the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our capacity to embrace. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to exploit extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think efficient. It seems stunning, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not sexy. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Without adequate biometrics, clicks-and-mortar, 60/24/7/365 re-sizing are forced to become revolutionary. Without appropriate infomediaries, users are forced to become sticky. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will embrace the term "resource-constrained". Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of extensible ROI metrics. The robust re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be killer? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our innovative niches and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and FOAF. We will increase our aptitude to engage without decrementing our power to scale. It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "M&A". Think nano-magnetic. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable mindshare but our capacity to envisioneer. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "leading-edge" really mean? Without meticulously-planned functionalities, web-enabled e-tailers are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. A company that can exploit easily will (someday) be able to actualize defiantly. Without adequate clicks-and-mortar synergies, networks are forced to become bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you embrace extensibly then you may also actualize robustly. Without data hygiene, you will lack models. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration.