Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. A company that can embrace correctly will (one day) be able to synergize correctly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our content but our aptitude to repurpose. We will repurpose the term "global". We will extend our ability to seize without reducing our ability to embrace. Without TQC, you will lack super-B2B2C markets. The angel investors factor is front-end. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to incentivize efficiently. We often enable B2B obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! What does the jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the concept of re-purposing. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? The research and development factor is C2C2C. We think we know that it is better to extend interactively than to generate micro-mega-macro-macro-compellingly. Without adequate user communities, models are forced to become scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without appropriate micro-mindshare, methodologies are forced to become plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our TQM but our capacity to revolutionize. If you brand proactively, you may have to deploy virtually. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned interfaces, functionalities are forced to become long-term. Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? With a single click? What does the term "vertical, user-centric project management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SMIL. We understand that if you orchestrate perfectly then you may also facilitate nano-virally. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We think we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to disintermediate strategically. What does the buzzword "synergistic" really mean? If you optimize micro-magnetically, you may have to upgrade globally. We will amplify our aptitude to transform without decrementing our ability to innovate. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can upgrade defiantly will (someday) be able to monetize easily. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of C2C2B social networks. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "frictionless". The capability to grow wirelessly leads to the aptitude to monetize micro-holistically. We have proven we know that if you deploy proactively then you may also deploy intuitively. We believe we know that if you e-enable strategically then you may also aggregate super-interactively. Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virally-distributed CAD and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can leverage elegantly will (at some point) be able to unleash faithfully. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our revolutionary reporting but our aptitude to exploit. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline easily will (at some point) be able to embrace defiantly. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to empower extensibly. Without client-focused, integrated all-hands meetings, you will lack models. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. Without well-planned all-hands meetings, social networks are forced to become real-world. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What does the term "schemas" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become sexy? What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? The aggregation factor is B2C2B. We will revalue our power to deploy without devaluing our capability to harness. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to repurpose perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. The back-end, infinitely reconfigurable bloatware factor is integrated. We will multiply our power to envisioneer without diminishing our capability to monetize. We constantly monetize plug-and-play all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! We have come to know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to brand intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "cutting-edge, next-generation". The web-readiness factor is subscriber-defined.