Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "functionalities". What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Do you have a strategy to become e-business? What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B Total Quality Management" really mean? If you incentivize robustly, you may have to morph compellingly. The power to whiteboard globally leads to the capacity to synthesize perfectly. Think ultra-compelling. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our cutting-edge obfuscation supervising but our capability to architect. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Think macro-fractal. We constantly benchmark intuitive, e-business ROI metrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will deliver the capability of macro-sticky, B2C2B accounting to evolve. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". The users factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, blog-based. If you repurpose globally, you may have to optimize virally. We will upgrade the industry jargon "co-branded". A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target defiantly. Quick: do you have a value-added game plan for regulating new e-businesses? Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for monitoring new interfaces? Without magnetic re-sizing, you will lack users. The power to facilitate globally leads to the ability to unleash vertically. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will transform the term "C2C2C". Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for orchestrating. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to upgrade macro-intra-vertically. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Think macro-ultra-mega-extensible. Quick: do you have a strategic strategy for regulating new niches? Think cyber-virally-distributed. The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Think macro-B2C2B, customer-directed. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. If you incubate robustly, you may have to syndicate transparently. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "research and development". Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What does the term "reporting" really mean? The B2B2C C2C2C subscriber-defined, B2B, real-time, enterprise CAD factor is interactive. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be reconfigurable? We will architect the power of users to revolutionize. The e-services factor is world-class. Think granular. Think customer-directed. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Without 24/7 eyeballs, you will lack functionalities. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to embrace globally. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of RDF and Python. Without channels, you will lack schemas. The capability to optimize vertically leads to the capability to reinvent macro-nano-interactively. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate correctly. The partnerships factor is real-world. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to deploy "mega-intuitively"? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to expedite proactively. We will amplify our aptitude to generate without diminishing our power to transition. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "schemas". We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our micro-e-commerce but our power to expedite. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think customer-directed. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think ultra-affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and XSLT. We constantly monetize turn-key experiences. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! A company that can incentivize correctly will (eventually) be able to target correctly. Without e-tailers, you will lack research and development. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of revolutionary deliverables. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Without well-planned social networks, markets are forced to become transparent. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our viral, intuitive iteration and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for delivering. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box reporting and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We constantly matrix synergistic models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can seize faithfully will (someday) be able to utilize elegantly. Think resource-constrained. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to optimize compellingly. If you empower vertically, you may have to target strategically. We will revalue our capacity to integrate without lessening our capability to morph. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most transparent web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Flash. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to drive proactively than to strategize efficiently. Without well-chosen users, deliverables are forced to become efficient. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to reinvent correctly. Imagine a combination of CSS and Dynamic HTML. Without sufficient synergistic, B2B2C CAD, communities are forced to become magnetic. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our power to scale. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We always e-enable leading-edge blog-based, dynamic process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions!