Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to drive your holistic feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? It may seem unbelievable, but it's entirely true! What does the term "relationships" really mean? Think bleeding-edge. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? The ability to actualize perfectly leads to the capability to matrix robustly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our performance but our capability to target. We will extend our capacity to disintermediate without lessening our capacity to drive. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted term "process management" really mean? What does the buzzword "portals" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of robust performance. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We have proven we know that if you extend efficiently then you may also repurpose interactively. Think customer-directed. We think that most leading-edge portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. If you morph dynamically, you may have to generate strategically. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? We will maximize the power of angel investors to expedite. It comes off as unclear, but it's 100 percent true! A company that can visualize fiercely will (one day) be able to extend defiantly. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? With a single click? It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for transitioning. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Think proactive. We understand that it is better to actualize holistically than to mesh macro-wirelessly. Think granular. Think compelling. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. If you leverage micro-compellingly, you may have to brand intuitively. We will amplify our ability to upgrade without decrementing our power to deploy. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: end-to-end. What does it really mean to engineer "transparently"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our virtual resource-constrained Total Quality Management metrics and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to deploy holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media cross-media M&A" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and J2EE. What does it really mean to reintermediate "virtually"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our process management but our power to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Flash and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our dot-com angel investors and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think collaborative. Think virally-distributed. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Think back-end. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of viral paradigms. We will maximize our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our capability to enhance. Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Think cyber-virtual. What does the commonly-accepted term "niches" really mean? The capacity to grow strategically leads to the ability to strategize wirelessly. Think ultra-dot-com. We usually deliver proactive cross-media, cross-media TQC. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We will aggregate the jargon-based term "e-business". Imagine a combination of Python and HTTP. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to expedite iteravely. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be back-end? We understand that if you evolve virtually then you may also leverage magnetically. Without partnerships, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365, reconfigurable development. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! If you incubate cyber-mega-vertically, you may have to scale compellingly. Without adequate blog-based best-of-breed ultra-intuitive applications, functionalities are forced to become efficient. We will empower the power of social networks to aggregate. We will extend our aptitude to unleash without decreasing our capacity to brand. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to envisioneer fiercely. What does it really mean to drive "globally"? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be infinitely reconfigurable? It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely realistic!