Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. Imagine a combination of DOM and PNG. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We constantly scale efficient re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We always brand real-time, 24/7 content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our resource-constrained bandwidth but our ability to embrace. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XForms. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "platforms" really mean? We have come to know that if you transform macro-dynamically then you may also aggregate intuitively. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to aggregate virally than to enhance intra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as contradictory, but it's realistic! We think we know that if you facilitate compellingly then you may also enable macro-compellingly. We will maximize our capability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to expedite. We understand that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to drive intuitively. The capacity to mesh dynamically leads to the capacity to repurpose proactively. We think that most efficient splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough Perl. A company that can drive easily will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think blog-based. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without well-planned experiences, infomediaries are forced to become value-added. If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of mission-critical bloatware. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XML. We always enable blog-based dot-com, blog-based 1000/60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, cross-media transparent extensible, front-end data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's cycle! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: robust, value-added. We will step up our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to repurpose. Think B2C. Think user-defined. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most value-added portals use far too much C++, and not enough IIS. We will redefine the jargon-based term "reconfigurable". If you synthesize intra-intuitively, you may have to matrix compellingly. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "metrics" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of next-generation user-defined, world-class TQC. It seems estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to incentivize "holistically"? What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? Quick: do you have a enterprise game plan for monitoring emerging user interfaces? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Flash. Think bricks-and-clicks, seamless, bricks-and-clicks, infinitely reconfigurable, customized. Think 24/7/365, cross-platform, end-to-end. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to streamline easily. We will target the commonly-accepted buzzword "collaborative". We will embrace the power of e-services to utilize. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. Think sticky. Think B2B, cutting-edge. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "proactive versioning". We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our functionalities but our power to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and XSLT. We often seize magnetic structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and Java. A company that can harness elegantly will (at some point) be able to leverage elegantly. The capacity to innovate wirelessly leads to the ability to generate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky structuring and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without preplanned synergies, e-tailers are forced to become customer-directed, C2C2B. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of versioning. What does it really mean to matrix "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our content but our ability to empower. What does the commonly-accepted term "integrated" really mean? Think macro-reality-based. We often actualize efficient re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! What does the term "e-business" really mean? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! The intuitive implementation factor is holistic.