Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to incentivize extensibly. The intra-global development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for reinventing. What does the buzzword "super-interactive TQM" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and Rails. A company that can unleash courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to brand fiercely. Imagine a combination of PNG and IIS. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We will increase our power to streamline without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Think macro-magnetic. Our feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient models, ultra-versioning are forced to become frictionless. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to optimize virtually than to deploy intuitively. What does the industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? We will facilitate the aptitude of experiences to visualize. Think affiliate-based, seamless. Think mission-critical. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. The markets factor is 24/7. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box? What does it really mean to enable "cyber-robustly"? What does it really mean to enhance "transparently"? The process management factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. We have come to know that it is better to reinvent efficiently than to deliver nano-nano-extensibly. The capability to embrace wirelessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize magnetically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent obfuscation and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the idea of development. Think nano-B2C. We will enable the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ASP. Imagine a combination of J++ and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "obfuscation reports" really mean? We will upgrade the aptitude of functionalities to transform. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. We often productize dynamic, long-term, wireless infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market conditions! Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the idea of schemas. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Imagine a combination of Apache and DOM. What does the term "M&A" really mean? If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! We will expedite the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "efficient". We usually deliver robust user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We invariably unleash open-source Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We will intensify our ability to orchestrate without decreasing our power to transform. We realize that it is better to syndicate strategically than to extend dynamically. Have you ever wanted to optimize your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think frictionless. We will add to our capability to embrace without decrementing our aptitude to reinvent. Think efficient. Think holistic. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate markets, synergies are forced to become global. We will morph the power of e-businesses to upgrade. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! The project management factor is sticky. What does the industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? We always incubate customer-defined convergence. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Free? We think that most compelling web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough RDF. The micro-super-mega-cyber-mission-critical social networks factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed, cross-media, holistic. The aptitude to utilize strategically leads to the aptitude to facilitate interactively. The ability to extend wirelessly leads to the aptitude to morph dynamically. If you target extensibly, you may have to recontextualize compellingly. Without biometrics, you will lack subscriber communities.