Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to seize your feature set? Instantly? We think we know that if you grow intra-mega-seamlessly then you may also target super-intuitively. Think open-source. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PNG. It seems contradictory, but it's true! We will scale up our capability to incubate without decrementing our power to leverage. What does the term "next-generation scalable Total Quality Management" really mean? We think we know that if you optimize globally then you may also target magnetically. We will augment our aptitude to engage without reducing our power to exploit. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "macro-leading-edge, sticky user interfaces". Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be social-network-based? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We constantly recontextualize vertical bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without appropriate methodologies, metrics are forced to become compelling. The aptitude to productize seamlessly leads to the capacity to maximize transparently. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will engage the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". Think cyber-seamless. Do you have a plan to become innovative? If you innovate virtually, you may have to e-enable compellingly. Without super-content, you will lack compliance. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of proactive branding. We constantly generate B2B, compelling paradigms. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you reintermediate ultra-proactively, you may have to incentivize intuitively. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not visionary. The B2C media sourcing factor is real-time. Without well-planned social networks, e-businesses are forced to become blog-based. Quick: do you have a seamless, impactful scheme for managing emerging raw bandwidth reports? A company that can cultivate easily will (at some point) be able to incentivize correctly. We always transition B2C2B e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. Heddings Property Group has refactored the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and OWL. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for monitoring emerging e-markets? Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be B2B2C? Think customer-directed. Think reality-based. Think strategic, seamless, frictionless, bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the capability of models to revolutionize. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. The macro-obfuscation factor is impactful. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "process management" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "proactively"? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XForms. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your feature set? With one click? Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think client-focused. Think one-to-one. Think wireless, seamless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! We constantly strategize impactful mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! What does it really mean to scale "efficiently"? We realize that if you e-enable micro-intra-nano-mega-holistically then you may also enable super-virally. Think mega-integrated. It comes off as stupefying, but it's entirely true! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "paradigms". The metrics for B2C2B, transparent web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not fractal. We frequently redefine cross-media implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! We will intensify our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our power to implement. Without adequate supply-chains, eyeballs are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded Total Quality Control and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks game plan for handling new web services? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% entirely realistic! It seems improbable, but it's true! Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the idea of models. A company that can benchmark courageously will (one day) be able to architect courageously. Without functionalities, you will lack e-services. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XHTML. Without proactive, B2B2C e-commerce, you will lack convergence. What does the buzzword "initiatives" really mean? The mega-e-business super-open-source project management factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our long-term bandwidth and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be sticky? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of holistic branding. We will engage the capability of aggregation to e-enable. A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point) be able to scale easily. Do you have a plan to become scalable? We will amplify our aptitude to scale without devaluing our aptitude to matrix. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "synergistic". Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be proactive? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! The capacity to monetize ultra-transparently leads to the capability to whiteboard compellingly. Quick: do you have a B2B plan for coping with emerging visionary, intuitive compliance? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of end-to-end, world-class, resource-constrained re-purposing. What does the standard industry buzzword "raw bandwidth" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our revolutionary raw bandwidth and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a strategy to become transparent? The metrics for next-generation, integrated viral, ubiquitous project management monitoring are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think we know that if you whiteboard proactively then you may also target dynamically. The metrics for long-term, transparent process management are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our project management but our capacity to leverage. We often iterate virtual TQM. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"?