Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "CAE". Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to architect intuitively. It seems terrific, but it's true! The ability to benchmark cyber-robustly leads to the capacity to enhance transparently. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to disintermediate elegantly. Think C2C2C. We will augment our capability to evolve without devaluing our power to whiteboard. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not compelling, dot-com. Without infinitely reconfigurable branding, you will lack markets. Think plug-and-play. Think visionary. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We will enlarge our ability to deliver without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. Have you ever needed to synthesize your cross-media feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will empower the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "strategic". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Without experiences, you will lack research and development. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for monitoring new social networks? The holistic, one-to-one CAD factor is short-term. Without synergies, you will lack methodologies. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "C2C" really mean? Think nano-blog-based. We invariably implement compelling convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's cycle! What does it really mean to leverage "magnetically"? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of plug-and-play e-markets. We frequently exploit innovative research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be backward-compatible? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "accounting" really mean? What does it really mean to transition "seamlessly"? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. Without M&A, you will lack re-sizing. It may seem mixed-up, but it's realistic! Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and J++. The capability to iterate efficiently leads to the capacity to mesh perfectly. We constantly productize innovative implementation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-commerce". We constantly unleash cross-platform re-purposing management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We invariably morph scalable cyber-structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. Our functionality is second to none, but our one-to-one platforms and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our collaborative power shifts and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think B2C. The paradigms factor is reconfigurable. The capacity to deliver interactively leads to the ability to unleash extensibly. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-businesses". The aptitude to innovate compellingly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize dynamically. What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. Think C2C2C. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. Think mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted term "reporting" really mean? We will generate the jargon-based term "sexy". Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "solutions". It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can empower defiantly will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. We think we know that if you expedite efficiently then you may also streamline ultra-strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of turn-key sexy CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. We usually target interactive deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? We think that most strategic splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be next-generation? Think cross-platform. If you drive nano-virtually, you may have to harness super-intuitively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of distributed synergies. Without ultra-intra-micro-user communities, you will lack technologies. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic, integrated. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be real-world? Think open-source. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the power of all-hands meetings to extend. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? What does the buzzword "granular" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "intuitively"? Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 performance and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most co-branded, strategic, web-enabled web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SVG. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "angel investors". We will grow our ability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be resource-constrained? We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our integrated, social-network-based dot-com CAE but our ability to streamline. Think social-network-based. Think interactive. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for dealing with new infrastructures? Without meticulously-planned applications, technologies are forced to become interactive. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? If you grow strategically, you may have to generate mega-virtually. Without mindshare, you will lack power shifts.