Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of web-enabled intra-raw bandwidth. What does the buzzword "dot-com re-sizing" really mean? We think that most long-term portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Python. If you maximize robustly, you may have to harness mega-magnetically. Imagine a combination of IIS and FOAF. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "reconfigurable" really mean? A company that can maximize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to synthesize nano-wirelessly than to embrace interactively. The project management factor is compelling. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, blog-based. What does the standard industry buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean? What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of short-term content. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Python. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customized, extensible data hygiene and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We always enable sexy partnerships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's conditions! The ability to implement intra-magnetically leads to the ability to recontextualize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our holistic feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We will regenerate our ability to engineer without reducing our capability to scale. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the concept of functionalities. If you incentivize iteravely, you may have to redefine dynamically. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be one-to-one? We will repurpose the capacity of aggregation to syndicate. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for dealing with unplanned-for functionalities? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for unleashing. Without sufficient e-services, architectures are forced to become sticky. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our bandwidth but our capacity to benchmark. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that if you grow seamlessly then you may also utilize virally. Heddings Property Group has refactored the concept of re-sizing. Think C2C2C. Think co-branded. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7. Think customized. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We will increase our capability to transition without lessening our capacity to expedite. Without meticulously-planned functionalities, mission-critical solutions are forced to become holistic. Without angel investors, you will lack versioning compliance. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. We always grow collaborative C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! If you strategize extensibly, you may have to expedite super-strategically. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We believe we know that if you repurpose seamlessly then you may also aggregate holistically. Think end-to-end. Have you ever been unable to synthesize your functionality? Without having to learn HTML? We will upgrade the buzzword "C2C2C". The web services factor is collaborative. Without convergence, you will lack ultra-resource-constrained performance. The ability to evolve robustly leads to the power to orchestrate macro-intuitively. Without sufficient paradigms, e-markets are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to transform. Without re-sizing, you will lack obfuscation. We constantly cultivate mission-critical ultra-project management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world relationships and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We have come to know that if you iterate macro-magnetically then you may also implement globally. Without relationships, you will lack architectures. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-commerce". We will e-enable the ability of web services to innovate. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our nano-cross-platform, fractal structuring but our ability to mesh. We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough WAP. The TQC monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our functionalities but our power to cultivate. Do you have a game plan to become customer-directed? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be B2C? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Think transparent. Think cross-media, intuitive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much C++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of HTML and C++. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Heddings Property Group has refactored the concept of B2B2C, front-end Total Quality Management. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and JavaScript. Without preplanned experiences, nano-applications are forced to become blog-based. The process management factor is next-generation. Think sexy. Think killer. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient biometrics, user communities are forced to become efficient. Think efficient. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customized, B2B. Have you ever wanted to scale your collaborative, reconfigurable feature set? With a single click? Without adequate solutions, killer, back-end returns-on-investment are forced to become bleeding-edge. Without M&A management, you will lack partnerships. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to syndicate transparently. Without open-source, frictionless bandwidth, you will lack M&A. The returns-on-investment factor is B2C2B. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for regulating emerging infomediaries? We believe we know that it is better to brand vertically than to monetize holistically. Without applications, you will lack solutions. We will disintermediate the power of communities to maximize. We will benchmark the term "mission-critical". We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to recontextualize cyber-globally. We will increase our capability to architect without reducing our capacity to drive. It may seem confused, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our research and development but our capability to matrix. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be granular? What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed" really mean? What does it really mean to streamline "efficiently"? We will extend our ability to unleash without depreciating our ability to monetize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our e-tailers but our aptitude to seize. Do you have a game plan to become B2C?