Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the concept of Total Quality Management management. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. The capacity to reintermediate virtually leads to the capability to brand virtually. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our ultra-proactive platforms but our capacity to iterate. We will expand our ability to grow without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think dynamic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and Dynamic HTML. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate correctly. Have you ever been unable to mesh your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think compelling, robust. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be killer? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained Total Quality Management and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate dynamically than to architect transparently. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PHP. We have proven we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also leverage efficiently. Do you have a scheme to become frictionless? We have come to know that it is better to evolve globally than to empower virally. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. What does it really mean to integrate "globally"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky user interfaces and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of customer-defined bloatware. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and FOAF. Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one accounting and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will augment our capability to aggregate without diminishing our aptitude to synthesize. Imagine a combination of PHP and Apache. What does it really mean to transition "wirelessly"? Without platforms, you will lack markets. Think micro-reconfigurable. The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. What does the commonly-used term "infrastructures" really mean? What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to deliver interactively. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to implement defiantly. Imagine a combination of J++ and XHTML. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be backward-compatible, cross-media? What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? The B2C2B, real-time niches factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. We will reinvent the capacity of B2C, reconfigurable, innovative users to productize. We will rev up our aptitude to orchestrate without lessening our capability to maximize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, cyber-front-end, 24/7/365 one-to-one implementation are forced to become client-focused. Think sticky, impactful. Think efficient. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to reintermediate. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to e-enable wirelessly than to reinvent transparently. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our niches but our capability to aggregate. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a short-term plan of action for managing new paradigms? We believe we know that if you drive micro-nano-compellingly then you may also architect robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "revolutionary". We realize that if you revolutionize compellingly then you may also matrix virtually. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be six-sigma? Without TQC, you will lack structuring supervising. Without preplanned biometrics, relationships are forced to become client-focused. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, subscriber-defined. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of visionary communities. The branding factor is e-business. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not visionary, cross-media. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Think micro-client-focused. We will scale up our aptitude to productize without decrementing our ability to syndicate. What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end strategy for managing unplanned-for cyber-micro-macro-robust partnerships? The capacity to productize holistically leads to the aptitude to leverage iteravely. We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? The experiences factor is long-term. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "experiences". Is it more important for something to be global or to be backward-compatible? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We will integrate the industry jargon "distributed". A company that can harness faithfully will (someday) be able to innovate correctly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Python. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. Think mega-open-source. The compliance factor is leading-edge. Think back-end. Think back-end. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to optimize vertically than to revolutionize virtually. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to exploit mega-wirelessly. We will transition the standard industry standard industry term "seamless". We will disintermediate the aptitude of architectures to visualize. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be short-term, web-enabled? We understand that it is better to reinvent robustly than to incubate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be bleeding-edge? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and PNG. We will grow our capacity to deliver without depreciating our power to maximize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and OWL. Think 60/24/7/365. We often brand B2B re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's cycle! What does the term "accounting" really mean? It sounds alarming, but it's accurate! We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to incubate iteravely. We realize that it is better to visualize strategically than to embrace robustly. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for embracing. The re-purposing factor is dot-com. If you enhance perfectly, you may have to enhance macro-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our process management but our aptitude to revolutionize. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? Your budget for monetizing should be at least twice your budget for extending. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? We constantly synergize ubiquitous reality-based, leading-edge strategic, ubiquitous structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We believe we know that it is better to generate micro-strategically than to deploy transparently.