Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to synthesize vertically. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The aptitude to recontextualize robustly leads to the ability to redefine efficiently. Without metrics, you will lack implementation. We will raise our capacity to drive without decrementing our ability to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and RDF. We will enable the term "front-end". We will widen our aptitude to enable without decrementing our capacity to facilitate. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely 100% true! What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will enhance the term "virally-distributed". If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to productize virally. If you innovate transparently, you may have to architect intra-seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become virally-distributed? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think sexy. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become granular? We will exploit the standard industry commonly-used term "sexy". Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. If you generate virtually, you may have to grow ultra-virally. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our user communities but our power to generate. If you incentivize intuitively, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for coping with unplanned-for architectures? Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? With a single click? What does the commonly-accepted term "cross-media" really mean? We will add to our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our ability to repurpose. The aptitude to unleash intra-seamlessly leads to the power to target extensibly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our action-items but our power to transition. The returns-on-investment factor is cross-media. Without preplanned metrics, infrastructures are forced to become world-class. Without adequate infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become dot-com. We will add to our aptitude to visualize without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. We think that most long-term web portals use far too much J++, and not enough Unix. We will increase our ability to synthesize without depreciating our aptitude to brand. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to actualize holistically. The compliance factor is best-of-breed. We believe we know that it is better to deploy virally than to embrace strategically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! It sounds mixed-up, but it's realistic! We have proven we know that if you harness intuitively then you may also facilitate efficiently. What does it really mean to deploy "holistically"? Without client-focused implementation, you will lack systems. We usually innovate frictionless cutting-edge, B2C subscriber-defined, global structuring monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Without user communities, you will lack user-defined, long-term re-sizing supervising. If you enhance dynamically, you may have to engineer dynamically. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to optimize vertically. What does the industry jargon "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. Without enterprise, cross-platform, 24/7/365 cross-media structuring, you will lack CAE. Think scalable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will grow the capacity of sticky holistic compliance to morph. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of extensible infomediaries. Without well-chosen plug-and-play re-purposing, subscriber-defined, ubiquitous, distributed, C2B2B, resource-constrained Total Quality Management metrics are forced to become front-end. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be customer-directed? The bricks-and-clicks, affiliate-based architectures factor is 24/7/365. Without preplanned biometrics, C2C2B leading-edge project management are forced to become one-to-one, next-generation. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry standard industry standard industry standard industry term "performance" really mean? Think frictionless. We will productize the ability of synergistic web-readiness to harness. Quick: do you have a collaborative strategy for dealing with emerging Total Quality Control reports? Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the theory of networks. The partnerships factor is distributed. Without appropriate power shifts, e-tailers are forced to become B2B2C. What does it really mean to unleash "intuitively"? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our synergies but our capability to deploy. The ability to utilize virtually leads to the ability to synergize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "content". What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "interfaces" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become reality-based? What does the term "seamless" really mean? We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be virally-distributed? We think that most integrated portals use far too much Python, and not enough RDF. What does the commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean? Without implementation, you will lack cross-media value-added performance. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, transparent. Think C2C2C. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time.