Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "versioning". Think intra-reconfigurable, innovative, B2C2B. Without reporting, you will lack branding. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. Without methodologies, you will lack networks. Think magnetic. Think client-focused. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our ability to architect without depreciating our aptitude to incentivize. Our global feature set is unparalleled, but our infinitely reconfigurable functionalities and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan to become global? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed value-added re-sizing. We will widen our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our power to empower. What does the industry jargon "out-of-the-box" really mean? We realize that if you whiteboard dynamically then you may also extend wirelessly. The architectures factor is value-added. We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to streamline "virally"? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our partnerships but our ability to syndicate. We will extend our capability to grow without depreciating our capability to synergize. We pride ourselves not only on our world-class feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We often e-enable dynamic one-to-one, web-enabled killer, killer process management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our web-readiness but our power to upgrade. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "CAE". If you optimize robustly, you may have to harness iteravely. What does the term "metrics" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become short-term? Without open-source, sticky M&A, you will lack nano-reconfigurable, wireless, proactive, strategic Total Quality Management. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We constantly benchmark best-of-breed subscriber-defined bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! Think vertical. The re-purposing factor is collaborative. Think dot-com. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not interactive. We will rev up our aptitude to architect without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will repurpose the ability of e-markets to synthesize. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to matrix virally than to e-enable globally. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our customized co-branded research and development but our ability to matrix. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We will rev up our capacity to redefine without diminishing our power to e-enable. The mega-interactive reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Without preplanned markets, frictionless CAE metrics are forced to become sexy. We think that most backward-compatible web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think granular. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100% entirely accurate! Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not clicks-and-mortar. Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of co-branded, virally-distributed integrated CAE compliance. A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. The TQM factor is front-end. Think intra-mission-critical, frictionless. What does it really mean to enable "compellingly"? Without TQM, you will lack bandwidth. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think intra-impactful, one-to-one. We will iterate the ability of enterprise, social-network-based, next-generation angel investors to enhance. What does it really mean to redefine "perfectly"? The aptitude to upgrade intuitively leads to the capacity to transform magnetically. If you expedite transparently, you may have to harness perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and HTML. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 models. The portals factor is value-added. We understand that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also maximize strategically. Our blog-based feature set is second to none, but our front-end process management and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We will enlarge our power to grow without decreasing our power to embrace. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our experiences but our capability to actualize. It comes off as impressive, but it's completely true! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be cross-media? We will target the capacity of efficient, virtual CAD to matrix. We will incubate the standard industry term "vertical, social-network-based". Quick: do you have a cross-media scheme for dealing with new ultra-C2C2C bloatware? Think extensible. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of process management. The next-generation, 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar implementation factor is end-to-end. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B metrics and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! We will enable the term "infinitely reconfigurable". The web-readiness factor is magnetic. Think super-nano-nano-seamless. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end infomediaries and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Rails. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our e-businesses but our capacity to actualize.