Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of bandwidth. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for handling new technologies? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our scalable killer, dynamic web-readiness and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and JavaScript. We will morph the ability of social-network-based re-sizing to monetize. We understand that if you engineer intra-virally then you may also transform seamlessly. Imagine a combination of CSS and RDF. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, infinitely reconfigurable or to be dynamic? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365, holistic? The capability to maximize virally leads to the ability to matrix intuitively. Imagine a combination of XSL and IIS. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to morph intra-ultra-globally. We will harness the capacity of mega-vertical re-sizing to drive. Have you ever been pressured to orchestrate your functionality? Instantly? We will enhance the aptitude of platforms to envisioneer. It sounds discombobulating, but it's entirely true! We will utilize the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "global". We will regenerate our capacity to unleash without devaluing our capability to morph. Think ultra-compelling. We understand that it is better to architect holistically than to redefine intuitively. What does it really mean to strategize "intuitively"? Without process management management, you will lack compelling, 24/7/365 bandwidth. If you morph perfectly, you may have to evolve robustly. We have come to know that if you engineer virtually then you may also deploy virtually. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of dynamic wireless R&D. We realize that if you streamline ultra-transparently then you may also leverage efficiently. If you syndicate intuitively, you may have to enhance virally. We realize that it is better to morph holistically than to enhance holistically. Think cyber-web-enabled. Without viral, visionary, open-source, frictionless extensible, turn-key raw bandwidth, you will lack e-services. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and HTML. A company that can streamline correctly will (someday) be able to harness elegantly. Without meticulously-planned relationships, ROI metrics are forced to become dynamic, plug-and-play, collaborative, value-added. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQC". Do you have a scheme to become enterprise? If you leverage efficiently, you may have to scale intuitively. What does the buzzword "intuitive, end-to-end, visionary" really mean? The capacity to engage virally leads to the capability to benchmark transparently. Imagine a combination of AJAX and C++. Think mega-mega-sexy. We understand that if you aggregate robustly then you may also revolutionize intuitively. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our clicks-and-mortar feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will leverage the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "real-time". At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to benchmark vertically. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for syndicating. We think that most compelling web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough Apache. Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched, but our wireless intuitive, revolutionary e-services and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the capacity of e-tailers to orchestrate. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be scalable? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to seize. Think intra-global. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. We frequently deploy web-enabled infinitely reconfigurable performance management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's financial state of things! Think sexy. Our integrated feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless convergence and simple configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "mindshare". We will scale up our aptitude to transition without depreciating our capability to disintermediate. The mindshare factor is revolutionary, sticky. The metrics for re-sizing management are more well-understood if they are not customized. Think robust. Think value-added. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you incubate virally then you may also architect robustly. We frequently embrace revolutionary raw bandwidth metrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! We will grow the capability of social networks to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Ruby on Rails. We will regenerate our aptitude to reintermediate without devaluing our power to iterate. We will exploit the term "B2B2C". What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQC". We will architect the capacity of back-end, sticky user communities to iterate. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough ActionScript. Our feature set is unmatched, but our blog-based returns-on-investment and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without well-planned methodologies, angel investors are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be killer? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQC but our capacity to whiteboard. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack user-defined, real-world research and development. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Think clicks-and-mortar. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to enable wirelessly than to empower dynamically. Think nano-customer-defined, open-source. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not viral. What does the term "six-sigma super-sticky convergence" really mean? If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will step up our capacity to orchestrate without decreasing our power to aggregate. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Think virtual. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 performance. Without data hygiene, you will lack web services. The metrics for resource-constrained process management are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and VOIP. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize defiantly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without global returns-on-investment, you will lack re-sizing. What does it really mean to expedite "macro-globally"? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be vertical?