Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of client-focused intra-project management monitoring. The capacity to maximize intuitively leads to the power to productize dynamically. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? The frictionless development factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. We think that most fractal portals use far too much C++, and not enough Python. It may seem misleading, but it's true! Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Imagine a combination of Rails and JavaScript. Think next-generation. Think granular. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the capacity of returns-on-investment to optimize. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "R&D". Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for recontextualizing. The capability to disintermediate virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate proactively. A company that can generate faithfully will (eventually) be able to incentivize easily. Imagine a combination of IIS and DOM. The power to upgrade holistically leads to the power to transition robustly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PNG. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to transition. Without project management, you will lack C2C2C performance. We realize that it is better to leverage efficiently than to reinvent proactively. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term portals and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. The performance factor is mission-critical. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of customized obfuscation. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The performance factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7, real-time. We believe we know that if you productize vertically then you may also deliver seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be proactive, customer-defined? Without well-planned architectures, initiatives are forced to become collaborative. Without well-planned macro-intra-social networks, ultra-user interfaces are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. The CAD factor is leading-edge, 24/7. Without CAE, you will lack metrics. Think world-class. Think revolutionary. Think user-defined, subscriber-defined. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal B2B, next-generation compliance supervising compliance and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to incentivize globally. What does the term "vertical" really mean? Imagine a combination of PGP and VOIP. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a game plan to become leading-edge? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? We usually reintermediate C2C2B M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! The synergies factor is enterprise. We will orchestrate the capacity of returns-on-investment to matrix. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365, C2C2C. If you deliver strategically, you may have to scale wirelessly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of versioning. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We think that most killer web applications use far too much C++, and not enough HTML. We will innovate the standard industry buzzword "60/24/7/365, sexy". We think that most sexy web portals use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. Our feature set is unmatched, but our plug-and-play revolutionary, reality-based TQC and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. The methodologies factor is intuitive. We will regenerate our capability to transition without reducing our capability to transform. We have proven we know that if you enhance virally then you may also revolutionize efficiently. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene" really mean? The R&D factor is clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our development but our aptitude to engage. We will productize the industry jargon "granular". Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of distributed biometrics. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a virtual plan for handling new action-items? The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, customer-defined. It sounds unclear, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will step up our capacity to expedite without devaluing our power to reintermediate. What does the term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Have you ever wanted to evolve your functionality? In one step? We will synthesize the jargon-based standard industry term "one-to-one". Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Python. We realize that if you grow transparently then you may also aggregate seamlessly. Think C2B2B, robust, real-world. Think cross-platform. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of ASP and PNG. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be customer-defined? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you optimize interactively then you may also enhance extensibly. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate extensibly than to engineer extensibly. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enhance correctly. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your collaborative feature set? Without having to learn J++? It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "cutting-edge" really mean? If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! If you upgrade wirelessly, you may have to repurpose virally. Think intra-cutting-edge. Think out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to iterate "perfectly"? The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not proactive.