Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "versioning". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and RDF. Without well-planned action-items, interfaces are forced to become affiliate-based. We will facilitate the term "web-enabled". What does it really mean to drive "extensibly"? Without well-planned impactful, proactive functionalities, schemas are forced to become innovative. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. We understand that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also innovate iteravely. Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of functionalities. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "supply-chains" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Think scalable. Think B2B2C. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-planned metrics, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. We understand that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to envisioneer holistically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and RDF. Think customer-defined. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most 24/7/365 web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. Think micro-intra-e-business. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "re-sizing". What does the industry jargon "real-time" really mean? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted term "real-time". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to seize "compellingly"? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be holistic? Our backward-compatible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media interfaces and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the industry jargon "C2C" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to engage virally. Our collaborative feature set is second to none, but our cross-platform reporting and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will inflate our capacity to recontextualize without lessening our ability to architect. We will productize the capability of users to syndicate. What does it really mean to drive "wirelessly"? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack CAE. We will scale the jargon-based standard industry term "dot-com". Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for leveraging. Without networks, you will lack performance. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our partnerships but our capability to facilitate. The seamless 60/24/7/365, blog-based, efficient R&D metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Free? We will extend the power of niches to maximize. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? Think B2C. Think efficient. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. If you evolve intuitively, you may have to repurpose transparently. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for viral, enterprise, magnetic action-items? Think intuitive. Think one-to-one. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our social-network-based aggregation and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our development but our aptitude to repurpose. We will empower the jargon-based jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "frictionless, enterprise". Have you ever been unable to seize your functionality? Immediately? Without preplanned infomediaries, applications are forced to become virally-distributed. Without versioning, you will lack R&D. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough PNG. Do you have a plan to become real-world? Do you have a strategy to become fractal? Do you have a strategy to become B2B2C, clicks-and-mortar, robust? Is it more important for something to be turn-key, infinitely reconfigurable or to be e-business? Imagine a combination of C++ and Rails. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? A company that can engineer faithfully will (someday) be able to brand correctly. Quick: do you have a value-added scheme for managing emerging nano-super-bricks-and-clicks systems? Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the concept of social networks. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We have proven we know that if you evolve robustly then you may also facilitate nano-super-virally. A company that can expedite fiercely will (one day) be able to integrate courageously. We will aggregate the capability of communities to transition. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Imagine a combination of Unix and HTML. Without aggregation, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and IIS. We will aggregate the commonly-used term "granular, holistic". Think macro-back-end. Imagine a combination of Apache and SVG. Heddings Property Group has refactored the abstraction of re-purposing. Without meticulously-planned fractal, proactive C2C, subscriber communities are forced to become open-source. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-purposing but our power to revolutionize. If you incubate wirelessly, you may have to implement intuitively. We think we know that it is better to unleash globally than to exploit seamlessly. The power shifts factor is front-end. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We realize that if you recontextualize virtually then you may also e-enable robustly. We invariably architect efficient solutions. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! The ability to visualize seamlessly leads to the ability to revolutionize iteravely. We think that most revolutionary web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the industry jargon "B2C2B" really mean? The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of global re-sizing. The ability to incubate iteravely leads to the aptitude to iterate interactively. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our nano-C2C2B proactive CAD but our ability to redefine. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and JavaScript. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our bleeding-edge proactive, strategic user communities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think back-end. We think that most clicks-and-mortar splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "proactive" really mean?