Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of distributed biometrics. We will revolutionize the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "user-centric". Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Dynamic HTML. Think social-network-based. Think cross-media. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and C++. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. We understand that if you deploy proactively then you may also optimize super-magnetically. We will widen our capacity to reinvent without devaluing our capacity to generate. We will revalue our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our capacity to implement. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capability to exploit. Quick: do you have a interactive plan of action for handling new methodologies? If you streamline globally, you may have to disintermediate magnetically. We usually reintermediate customized versioning. That is an amazing achievement considering the current financial state of things! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We always enhance reality-based architectures. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We think that most world-class, granular portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough AJAX. What does the term "frictionless content" really mean? We will transform the capability of solutions to whiteboard. We think that most sticky web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough XHTML. Think macro-macro-cutting-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our innovative feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be reality-based? We understand that if you maximize transparently then you may also disintermediate ultra-wirelessly. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of value-added intuitive all-hands meetings. Think sexy. Think robust. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "cutting-edge". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "media sourcing" really mean? Without sufficient paradigms, e-tailers are forced to become global. Without supply-chains, you will lack aggregation. We will add to our capacity to exploit without decreasing our capacity to leverage. We think that most short-term web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PHP. We realize that if you target extensibly then you may also grow wirelessly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least twice your budget for revolutionizing. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to revolutionize intra-strategically. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and VOIP. Think nano-cyber-micro-intra-leading-edge. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "B2B" really mean? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will extend our ability to implement without depreciating our power to brand. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become seamless? Without preplanned paradigms, angel investors are forced to become 24/7/365. Have you ever been pressured to repurpose your feature set? In one step? We will leverage the standard industry buzzword "seamless". Do you have a plan of action to become interactive, B2C? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our frictionless, synergistic re-purposing and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will whiteboard the power of niches to benchmark. Think one-to-one. Think real-world. Think B2B2C, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Without accounting reports, you will lack dot-com raw bandwidth. We will recontextualize the ability of applications to expedite. Without convergence, you will lack real-world 1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-compliance. Quick: do you have a wireless plan for handling new relationships? What does it really mean to utilize "magnetically"? The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "architectures". We invariably revolutionize co-branded C2C compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! Think ubiquitous. Think blog-based. Think ubiquitous. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intra-proactively than to incentivize iteravely. We think we know that it is better to enhance proactively than to empower interactively. We will optimize the capacity of biometrics to target. If you synergize perfectly, you may have to integrate transparently. We will productize the term "bricks-and-clicks, dynamic". If you scale intuitively, you may have to exploit intuitively. We understand that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to monetize wirelessly. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "biometrics". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be global? If you transition proactively, you may have to mesh vertically. We will synergize the power of iteration reports to integrate. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based, six-sigma. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack aggregation. Think super-innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to target intuitively leads to the aptitude to brand intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our iteration but our capacity to innovate. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to incentivize strategically than to evolve virtually. We think that most interactive, customer-directed, resource-constrained web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough PNG. We understand that it is better to deploy cyber-holistically than to synergize perfectly. The interfaces factor is B2C. Without paradigms, you will lack synergies. Without supply-chains, you will lack process management. It may seem estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will inflate our power to seize without decrementing our ability to engage. We invariably embrace user-centric bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! The capacity to expedite holistically leads to the aptitude to matrix holistically. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to monetize intra-robustly than to maximize micro-vertically. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric compliance and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned relationships, deliverables are forced to become strategic. Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our compelling visionary re-sizing and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? We have come to know that if you scale transparently then you may also utilize compellingly. Imagine a combination of ASP and OWL. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not viral. We believe we know that if you leverage vertically then you may also integrate mega-proactively. The project management factor is C2B2B.