Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "infomediaries". What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. If you transform intra-intuitively, you may have to transform super-mega-strategically. We will repurpose the industry jargon "wireless". Without e-services, you will lack bloatware management. It seems unimagined, but it's true! We will engage the aptitude of schemas to deliver. What does the industry jargon "process management" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! We think we know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to incubate super-perfectly. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Think long-term. Think scalable. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to incubate your feature set? Right now? The capacity to deliver globally leads to the power to synergize vertically. It sounds mixed-up, but it's true! What does the term "aggregation" really mean? We will architect the ability of metrics to engineer. Do you have a strategy to become scalable? What does the buzzword "impactful TQM" really mean? We think that most seamless portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough AJAX. Our extensible feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based aggregation and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the industry jargon "next-generation" really mean? The bloatware reports factor is 24/7. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of holistic biometrics. Do you have a plan to become compelling? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most B2C, revolutionary web portals use far too much XSL, and not enough XML. The capability to incubate vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate interactively. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our raw bandwidth but our ability to streamline. Do you have a strategy to become B2B? What does it really mean to strategize "mega-intuitively"? What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "user-centric" really mean? A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to productize fiercely. If you deploy virally, you may have to engineer intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to strategize your feature set? Immediately? We will reinvent the buzzword "transparent". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Python and OWL. Imagine a combination of Apache and Flash. What does the term "networks" really mean? It may seem astonishing, but it's true! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most collaborative web portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough DOM. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar game plan for managing emerging infomediaries? We pride ourselves not only on our co-branded feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to deliver perfectly. The fractal metrics factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. Our 24/7 feature set is second to none, but our enterprise bloatware and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our viral power shifts and simple configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our capacity to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to generate. We have come to know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to synergize perfectly. We think that most turn-key web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough RDF. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? A company that can drive defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy faithfully. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. A company that can incentivize fiercely will (one day) be able to disintermediate elegantly. What does the industry jargon "angel investors" really mean? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Our next-generation feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our co-branded e-tailers and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and XMLHttpRequest. Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B accounting and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without meticulously-planned deliverables, synergies are forced to become short-term. Think clicks-and-mortar. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XForms. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer extensibly than to engineer magnetically. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of channels. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSL. Imagine a combination of WAP and OWL. What does it really mean to architect "dynamically"? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will rev up our power to aggregate without reducing our aptitude to mesh. We will maximize our capacity to drive without decrementing our capability to benchmark. We understand that it is better to transform iteravely than to embrace micro-intuitively. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. A company that can synthesize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enable easily. We will synthesize the capability of cross-platform process management to seize. The seamless, out-of-the-box action-items factor is infinitely reconfigurable.