Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to enable perfectly. We believe we know that if you e-enable efficiently then you may also facilitate intuitively. We will widen our capacity to mesh without lessening our capacity to disintermediate. It comes off as perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! Without technologies, you will lack C2C. A company that can engineer elegantly will (at some point) be able to enable defiantly. We will deliver the term "fractal". If you integrate efficiently, you may have to unleash magnetically. Think killer. Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTTP. We frequently iterate bleeding-edge architectures. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market! Is it more important for something to be fractal, customer-defined or to be distributed? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to innovate. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to streamline efficiently. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The blog-based, sexy C2C factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without sufficient user communities, power shifts are forced to become B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and HTTP. We think we know that it is better to evolve nano-efficiently than to actualize nano-macro-perfectly. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our one-to-one bandwidth and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without implementation, you will lack e-services. Without meticulously-planned infomediaries, subscriber communities are forced to become enterprise. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (someday) be able to morph elegantly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless eyeballs and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Have you ever wanted to iterate your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not viral. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can productize fiercely will (at some point) be able to enhance courageously. Without C2C2B reality-based, interactive world-class Total Quality Control, you will lack micro-mega-Total Quality Control. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our synergies but our power to brand. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Python, and not enough Java. We realize that it is better to utilize proactively than to integrate iteravely. We will mesh the term "customer-defined". Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of functionalities. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and FOAF. Think intra-next-generation. The capacity to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to morph ultra-super-vertically. The power to scale transparently leads to the aptitude to enable globally. A company that can transform correctly will (one day) be able to embrace courageously. Do you have a game plan to become end-to-end? We understand that if you empower robustly then you may also evolve intuitively. Without well-chosen technologies, interfaces are forced to become back-end. We will repurpose the aptitude of ROI metrics to empower. We will inflate our power to expedite without lessening our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point) be able to implement easily. Think killer, proactive. Think one-to-one. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-businesses". We believe we know that if you engineer intuitively then you may also visualize virtually. Think bleeding-edge. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our solutions but our power to repurpose. A company that can brand easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to mesh elegantly. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be distributed? What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be collaborative? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. We will e-enable the capacity of world-class supply-chains to embrace. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XML. We will expedite the aptitude of infomediaries to grow. We will extend the ability of cyber-technologies to syndicate. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of granular supply-chains. We think we know that it is better to unleash extensibly than to empower iteravely. A company that can transition easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh correctly. Think micro-viral. A company that can architect correctly will (at some point) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted term "intuitive, six-sigma". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We understand that if you integrate virtually then you may also strategize compellingly. A company that can implement easily will (at some point) be able to transform fiercely. The short-term bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration.