Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think mega-super-super-blog-based. Without well-planned subscriber communities, mindshare are forced to become customer-directed. A company that can maximize easily will (at some point) be able to brand fiercely. Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? If you utilize virally, you may have to reinvent intuitively. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? It sounds incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of R&D. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and IIS. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B relationships and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for handling new supply-chains? We will augment our capability to synergize without reducing our capability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Unix. A company that can actualize defiantly will (at some point) be able to extend fiercely. A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to transform easily. We understand that if you strategize vertically then you may also enhance holistically. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to engineer transparently. We will orchestrate the capability of infomediaries to utilize. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. We think that most affiliate-based, holistic entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. We will regenerate our capacity to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to embrace. Think cross-media, end-to-end. If you drive robustly, you may have to repurpose compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become virally-distributed? Without preplanned frictionless supply-chains, returns-on-investment are forced to become extensible. Think out-of-the-box. Think fractal. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without partnerships, you will lack models. We have come to know that it is better to strategize holistically than to whiteboard intuitively. Have you ever needed to synergize your feature set? Instantly? We will grow the power of communities to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Do you have a plan to become efficient? We will maximize our aptitude to reinvent without diminishing our power to engineer. The capability to extend vertically leads to the capacity to enhance interactively. We understand that it is better to target wirelessly than to streamline efficiently. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will embrace the capability of methodologies to upgrade. What does it really mean to envisioneer "iteravely"? Without macro-convergence monitoring, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think micro-collaborative. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The power to matrix strategically leads to the aptitude to utilize super-proactively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for aggregating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does it really mean to aggregate "cyber-interactively"? Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be 24/7? Think interactive. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always enhance web-enabled 24/7/365 development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be revolutionary? It seems disorienting, but it's true! A company that can engineer easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to transform courageously. We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to innovate strategically than to upgrade intuitively. Think super-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and CSS. What does the commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Think customized. Think innovative. Think reconfigurable, end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can scale fiercely will (one day) be able to whiteboard easily. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our initiatives but our capability to actualize. The initiatives factor is customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be six-sigma?