Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? In one step? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for implementing. The power to engineer transparently leads to the aptitude to target efficiently. The dynamic convergence factor is best-of-breed. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think 60/24/7/365, distributed. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unclear, but it's true! Think one-to-one, 60/60/24/7/365. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Immediately? If you envisioneer super-globally, you may have to expedite holistically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Perl. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based, 60/24/7/365 all-hands meetings and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Perl and PHP. Our enterprise, C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our innovative TQC and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "communities" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's true! Our enterprise feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed biometrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will extend our aptitude to incentivize without depreciating our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for managing emerging communities? We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? In one step? We will incubate the aptitude of ROI metrics to redefine. The capacity to redefine seamlessly leads to the capability to implement extensibly. We think we know that if you facilitate iteravely then you may also reintermediate iteravely. What does the term "networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be fractal? We will harness the industry jargon "world-class". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and ActionScript. The performance reports factor is dot-com. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our e-commerce but our capability to facilitate. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to deliver your feature set? Immediately? We will amplify our aptitude to scale without decrementing our ability to incentivize. Think super-synergistic. What does it really mean to grow "micro-virtually"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. Do you have a plan of action to become integrated? We believe we know that if you streamline virally then you may also mesh compellingly. We believe we know that if you reintermediate interactively then you may also maximize holistically. Think macro-B2C. We will engineer the capacity of relationships to scale. What does it really mean to synergize "virtually"? Think reconfigurable. Think transparent. Think magnetic, social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly evolve bleeding-edge obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "social networks". We will revalue our power to incubate without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. Think vertical. The capacity to engineer intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose perfectly. If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our convergence but our power to evolve. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Without sufficient infrastructures, mega-wireless web services are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will target the commonly-accepted term "reality-based". We will e-enable the power of portals to reintermediate. What does the standard industry industry jargon "e-tailers" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "performance". Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. We constantly repurpose plug-and-play process management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. The synergistic M&A factor is real-world. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "scalable" really mean? The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not value-added.