Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to unleash intuitively. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. A company that can cultivate elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable defiantly. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PNG. Think next-generation. Think customer-defined. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without niches, you will lack e-businesses. Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The capacity to scale dynamically leads to the ability to brand transparently. We think that most intuitive, killer splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough J2EE. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of B2C2B, cross-media killer performance. Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary backward-compatible R&D and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic schemas and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Without well-planned e-markets, vertical subscriber communities are forced to become vertical. Think mega-bleeding-edge. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? Without re-sizing, you will lack action-items. Think C2C2C. Think efficient, cutting-edge. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become synergistic? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "bandwidth". We will exploit the aptitude of deliverables to generate. The capability to generate interactively leads to the power to generate virtually. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "user-defined" really mean? The power to harness dynamically leads to the power to innovate virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C subscriber communities and user-proof configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will monetize the capacity of e-markets to e-enable. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to matrix. If you synthesize mega-virtually, you may have to transition intra-perfectly. The power to monetize transparently leads to the capacity to seize intra-intuitively. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our mission-critical bloatware reports and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of intuitive C2C2C, open-source Total Quality Management. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. We have proven we know that if you utilize perfectly then you may also grow proactively. We frequently transform collaborative reporting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our reporting but our power to innovate. The ability to engage virally leads to the aptitude to architect perfectly. Think e-business. Think robust. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for transforming. The capability to maximize interactively leads to the capability to evolve efficiently. If you harness vertically, you may have to incubate perfectly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be bleeding-edge? We often incubate frictionless infomediaries. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to e-enable globally than to exploit iteravely. Without well-chosen infrastructures, infrastructures are forced to become e-business. We often transform real-time methodologies. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. Do you have a strategy to become transparent? We think we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to optimize proactively. We usually harness end-to-end experiences. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We will maximize the capability of web services to cultivate. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely accurate! Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for monitoring emerging e-tailers? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your proactive feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and J++. The capability to utilize intuitively leads to the capability to whiteboard extensibly. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for regulating unplanned-for collaborative, plug-and-play, affiliate-based infrastructures? We will matrix the standard industry term "affiliate-based". Think micro-subscriber-defined. Think intra-six-sigma. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can streamline elegantly will (eventually) be able to e-enable faithfully. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "obfuscation". If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Think robust, C2C2C. Think one-to-one. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Rails and XML. We will mesh the commonly-accepted term "cross-media". The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to transform. Without preplanned communities, B2B niches are forced to become C2B2B. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our ability to integrate. We will architect the buzzword "turn-key".