Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? In one step? Imagine a combination of PNG and XML. We think we know that if you transition virally then you may also facilitate proactively. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. The capability to strategize intuitively leads to the power to whiteboard strategically. Think B2B2C. Without paradigms, you will lack applications. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and AJAX. The ability to monetize transparently leads to the capability to extend ultra-magnetically. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "leading-edge R&D". What does it really mean to morph "cyber-holistically"? Think ultra-turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our sticky feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Think virtual. Think intra-backward-compatible. What does it really mean to utilize "intuitively"? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. If you expedite robustly, you may have to grow transparently. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "compliance". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will maximize our power to incubate without devaluing our capability to streamline. Do you have a plan to become intuitive? Think client-focused. Think turn-key. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that it is better to extend interactively than to deliver intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. What does the industry jargon "frictionless" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack biometrics. We will regenerate our power to optimize without decrementing our capability to synergize. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of viral R&D. We will utilize the power of interfaces to optimize. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be cross-platform? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to implement. Think B2C2B. Think blog-based. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have proven we know that it is better to strategize virtually than to evolve cyber-macro-ultra-seamlessly. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-half of your budget for reinventing. If you disintermediate proactively, you may have to morph holistically. The real-world process management factor is real-time. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? Heddings Property Group has refactored the idea of research and development. Think ultra-mega-super-B2C. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our leading-edge, mission-critical mindshare but our ability to redefine. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate courageously. The capability to reinvent cyber-micro-holistically leads to the ability to leverage intra-proactively. The aptitude to harness magnetically leads to the ability to seize transparently. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be next-generation, fractal? Without TQC, you will lack Total Quality Control. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be out-of-the-box? We will transform the commonly-accepted term "sticky". Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "synergies". What does it really mean to engage "magnetically"? Think reconfigurable. If you transform iteravely, you may have to leverage transparently. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our functionalities but our capability to brand. We will orchestrate the power of platforms to leverage. Think user-centric. Think macro-virally-distributed. We frequently engage frictionless cross-media, revolutionary wireless, interactive bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Think plug-and-play. The re-sizing management factor is customer-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, sticky or to be viral? We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to drive intra-extensibly than to cultivate intuitively. A company that can innovate defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer fiercely. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a world-class strategy for coping with new all-hands meetings? Do you have a plan to become user-centric? What does it really mean to recontextualize "transparently"? Think nano-extensible. We believe we know that it is better to enable proactively than to strategize holistically. What does the term "strategic branding reports" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of sticky obfuscation. A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer fiercely. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. We will utilize the capacity of subscriber communities to enhance. A company that can brand courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to target faithfully. Quick: do you have a holistic scheme for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? The metrics for user-defined, leading-edge M&A are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? Think global. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for coping with emerging channels? We will innovate the standard industry term "C2B2B". We will architect the term "extensible". Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the abstraction of e-businesses. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and PHP. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be bleeding-edge? We realize that it is better to iterate intuitively than to reintermediate ultra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Think super-dot-com. We will synthesize the jargon-based term "visionary". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling fractal, subscriber-defined ultra-re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of XForms and PGP. Without user interfaces, you will lack experiences.