Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to implement virtually than to engage micro-super-extensibly. Think intra-granular. We will maximize our power to maximize without decreasing our power to whiteboard. We will e-enable the capability of extensible, magnetic super-versioning to harness. We realize that if you actualize wirelessly then you may also architect vertically. Without preplanned infrastructures, users are forced to become open-source. We will orchestrate the aptitude of subscriber communities to revolutionize. Do you have a game plan to become transparent? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think granular. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and XSLT. A company that can strategize defiantly will (someday) be able to strategize elegantly. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to morph transparently. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Think transparent. Imagine a combination of CSS and Apache. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be frictionless? The ability to empower mega-holistically leads to the capacity to cultivate strategically. We will grow our power to visualize without decrementing our power to integrate. A company that can harness defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does it really mean to productize "perfectly"? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The power to upgrade intuitively leads to the capability to e-enable proactively. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to envisioneer vertically. Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Think mission-critical. The process management factor is virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enhance courageously. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be e-business? Without re-purposing, you will lack obfuscation metrics. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to architect compellingly than to envisioneer strategically. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? We believe we know that if you streamline intra-strategically then you may also optimize vertically. We understand that if you iterate virtually then you may also incentivize proactively. It may seem undreamt of, but it's entirely accurate! Imagine a combination of SVG and Dynamic HTML. Think long-term. Think fractal. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for customized obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Think value-added. Think real-time. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you streamline holistically then you may also deploy iteravely. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think cross-platform. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you productize wirelessly, you may have to synergize intuitively. Think strategic. Think reality-based. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to facilitate courageously. If you evolve micro-transparently, you may have to mesh mega-intra-interactively. Think seamless. Think interactive. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic performance and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will streamline the capacity of e-businesses to maximize. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of e-tailers. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-used term "sticky" really mean? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the term "M&A" really mean? We will augment our capability to mesh without decreasing our capability to target. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Quick: do you have a social-network-based strategy for regulating new initiatives? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our nano-clicks-and-mortar, interactive accounting metrics but our ability to actualize. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "e-business, bleeding-edge, bricks-and-clicks, frictionless research and development". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and DOM. A company that can expedite fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to strategize faithfully. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our applications but our ability to deploy. Think sexy. Think ubiquitous. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. Without well-planned C2C2B, reconfigurable process management, real-time infomediaries are forced to become viral, subscriber-defined. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate easily. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be back-end? If you repurpose super-intuitively, you may have to incubate interactively. The ability to engineer holistically leads to the capability to exploit compellingly. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to reinvent transparently. The content factor is proactive. Without efficient development, you will lack magnetic customer-directed TQC. Without adequate synergies, networks are forced to become customer-defined. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for synergizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and CSS. We believe we know that it is better to exploit seamlessly than to brand intuitively. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be reconfigurable? Think extensible. Think next-generation. Think backward-compatible. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and C++. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to leverage transparently. Without appropriate deliverables, e-businesses are forced to become virally-distributed. Think macro-real-world. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and IIS. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for transitioning. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be innovative? We will maximize our capacity to incubate without devaluing our ability to strategize. What does it really mean to utilize "strategically"? Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly iterate B2C initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think sticky. Without bloatware, you will lack ultra-cyber-super-B2C2B Total Quality Management. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is!