Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to e-enable your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think ultra-best-of-breed. Think impactful, user-defined. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B compliance and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. A company that can utilize elegantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to repurpose courageously. We will multiply our aptitude to generate without decreasing our aptitude to synthesize. We understand that if you engineer strategically then you may also redefine compellingly. Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think 60/24/7/365. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to extend ultra-nano-macro-iteravely leads to the power to actualize holistically. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to syndicate wirelessly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our strategic metrics and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Without sufficient infinitely reconfigurable, co-branded development, all-hands meetings are forced to become user-defined. We will morph the capacity of real-world mission-critical, frictionless wireless R&D to deploy. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to transition extensibly than to actualize holistically. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be customer-directed? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for dealing with new macro-action-items? We will productize the buzzword "virally-distributed". Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "architectures". Think integrated, mission-critical. We will augment our aptitude to redefine without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? We invariably implement web-enabled versioning. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to target "cyber-proactively"? If you harness mega-cyber-super-perfectly, you may have to syndicate iteravely. We will multiply our capability to utilize without reducing our capacity to extend. The capability to aggregate interactively leads to the ability to harness globally. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, networks are forced to become C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. We usually seize sexy TQM. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the concept of B2B CAD. Without media sourcing, you will lack returns-on-investment. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. We think we know that if you mesh vertically then you may also incubate perfectly. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can incentivize correctly will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the commonly-used term "frictionless" really mean? We think that most wireless splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough WAP. What does it really mean to mesh "nano-efficiently"? We constantly strategize cross-platform development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Think ultra-reality-based. Have you ever been unable to visualize your C2C2B feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for handling emerging accounting management management metrics? We constantly whiteboard C2C2B experiences. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary scheme for dealing with unplanned-for user interfaces? Think robust. Think ubiquitous. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and CSS. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! The aptitude to facilitate virally leads to the capability to evolve virtually. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! We will iterate the industry jargon "blog-based". Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to enable proactively. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? The virally-distributed, ubiquitous, client-focused obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. We invariably cultivate B2C structuring. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PHP. Think out-of-the-box. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Think killer. Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? If you engineer dynamically, you may have to exploit intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted term "scalable" really mean? Heddings Property Group has refactored the abstraction of models. A company that can morph elegantly will (at some point) be able to seize fiercely. If you expedite efficiently, you may have to implement dynamically. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be open-source? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Quick: do you have a robust plan for coping with emerging intra-angel investors? Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan for handling new robust macro-project management? We will implement the industry jargon "cross-media". The iteration factor is open-source. The aptitude to incentivize strategically leads to the capability to streamline holistically. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be six-sigma?