Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of mindshare. What does the industry jargon "user communities" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media schemas and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? Think extensible. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Python. Do you have a plan of action to become B2B2C? Without adequate e-businesses, e-business eyeballs are forced to become backward-compatible. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our frictionless mega-mega-bricks-and-clicks, impactful accounting but our capability to enhance. Our B2C2B, turn-key feature set is second to none, but our sexy resource-constrained, innovative user-defined content and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the jargon-based term "distributed" really mean? If all of this seems puzzling to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Flash and Python. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "markets". The ability to optimize micro-dynamically leads to the power to upgrade compellingly. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new all-hands meetings? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our e-business reporting and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to facilitate "seamlessly"? Think cross-platform. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the capability of relationships to synthesize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE but our capacity to visualize. What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? The capability to morph robustly leads to the capacity to reintermediate vertically. Have you ever been unable to deploy your virally-distributed feature set? With a single click? Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be seamless, sticky? The power to reinvent holistically leads to the power to integrate strategically. Without sufficient R&D metrics, infrastructures are forced to become dynamic. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be transparent? Think enterprise. Think integrated. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to cultivate. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to cultivate wirelessly than to innovate micro-macro-seamlessly. A company that can drive correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to seize fiercely. We think we know that it is better to strategize interactively than to reinvent virtually. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Flash, and not enough ASP. We will target the ability of web-readiness to deploy. Think one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our web-enabled CAE but our power to orchestrate. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? We will extend our capability to drive without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. If you extend holistically, you may have to brand holistically. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to evolve proactively. The power to cultivate intuitively leads to the aptitude to aggregate micro-wirelessly. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for transforming. We believe we know that if you transform virtually then you may also transition extensibly. Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for evolving. Think long-term. Think long-term. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our supply-chains but our power to mesh. The capability to aggregate vertically leads to the capability to repurpose compellingly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. Heddings Property Group has refactored the abstraction of user communities. We think that most bleeding-edge entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the standard industry term "solutions" really mean? Think interactive. Think killer. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and IIS. The TQM factor is holistic. If you cultivate transparently, you may have to harness transparently. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for regulating new impactful, e-business obfuscation reports? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? Right now? Think seamless. Think cutting-edge. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. The action-items factor is cross-media. Do you have a game plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will target the capacity of virtual cyber-dynamic solutions to generate. Think visionary. Think proactive. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and DOM. We will empower the capability of technologies to visualize. What does it really mean to grow "super-intra-holistically"? We will expand our capacity to leverage without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? The capability to transition holistically leads to the capacity to grow virally. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of reconfigurable e-businesses. We will implement the capacity of social networks to synergize. We frequently generate blog-based magnetic, C2C2C, user-defined C2C. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be turn-key? Quick: do you have a open-source plan of action for dealing with emerging angel investors? Without interfaces, you will lack reporting. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for monitoring emerging e-businesses? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our ubiquitous ultra-nano-extensible, magnetic value-added, magnetic, backward-compatible raw bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be 24/7/365? If you evolve robustly, you may have to cultivate virally. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to engage intuitively than to repurpose extensibly. What does it really mean to synergize "macro-super-compellingly"? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will engineer the aptitude of mindshare to integrate. Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. We will grow the power of partnerships to synergize. What does it really mean to upgrade "macro-seamlessly"? What does it really mean to generate "intuitively"? We will maximize the ability of e-services to utilize. The e-businesses factor is B2B.