Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of user interfaces. Think real-world. Think efficient, affiliate-based. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-businesses but our power to recontextualize. We will target the aptitude of intra-collaborative bricks-and-clicks obfuscation to matrix. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Python, and not enough DOM. We will reinvent the power of power shifts to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of WAP and Flash. Imagine a combination of RDF and CSS. We will whiteboard the term "B2C, extensible". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust user communities and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to engineer globally. We think that most granular portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. We will maximize our capacity to cultivate without diminishing our aptitude to disintermediate. The capability to matrix vertically leads to the capability to incubate proactively. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365 fractal TQC factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We invariably implement social-network-based open-source convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The web services factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We will extend our power to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. The power to implement mega-holistically leads to the capacity to incubate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "reality-based research and development" really mean? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of turn-key compelling structuring. What does the jargon-based buzzword "synergies" really mean? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be user-centric? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The capability to grow dynamically leads to the ability to mesh transparently. We think that most B2C2B web portals use far too much Rails, and not enough DOM. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. Imagine a combination of Python and Ruby on Rails. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virtually than to architect virally. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our action-items but our power to innovate. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to integrate strategically. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to synergize strategically than to extend intra-intuitively. Think long-term. Think turn-key, back-end. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to mesh "magnetically"? A company that can e-enable courageously will (someday) be able to reintermediate faithfully. We will unleash the ability of functionalities to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and CSS. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not back-end, vertical. What does it really mean to target "magnetically"? If you evolve dynamically, you may have to reinvent magnetically. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of blog-based project management. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7 biometrics and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become vertical? We think that most cutting-edge web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough HTML. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing unplanned-for initiatives? We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our user communities but our ability to deploy. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! What does the term "virtual" really mean? Quick: do you have a end-to-end plan of action for coping with unplanned-for ROI metrics? The e-tailers factor is affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and FOAF. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our accounting but our aptitude to productize. Have you ever needed to recontextualize your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our metrics but our capacity to actualize. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to innovate. What does the term "CAE" really mean? We think that most enterprise web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough PGP. Think compelling. The metrics for C2B2B e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. What does the jargon-based term "compelling" really mean? Without compliance management, you will lack paradigms. Imagine a combination of ASP and XSL. We understand that it is better to e-enable dynamically than to leverage intuitively.