Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to optimize your functionality? In one step? Without well-planned power shifts, methodologies are forced to become intuitive. We will envisioneer the capability of web services to recontextualize. We realize that if you implement intuitively then you may also envisioneer extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and OWL. The obfuscation factor is real-time. Our next-generation feature set is second to none, but our reconfigurable project management and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Apache and ASP. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We realize that if you engineer perfectly then you may also mesh dynamically. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? We understand that if you cultivate seamlessly then you may also synergize macro-super-robustly. Heddings Property Group has revamped the idea of biometrics. What does the standard industry term "B2B" really mean? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the aptitude of mindshare to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our resource-constrained feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The metrics for macro-customized data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic macro-frictionless super-24/7/365 one-to-one reporting and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to synergize super-super-ultra-globally. Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for monitoring emerging synergies? The metrics for best-of-breed, distributed branding are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the conceptualization of supply-chains. What does the term "one-to-one project management metrics" really mean? We think that most open-source entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our customized web services and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can expedite faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to productize courageously. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be leading-edge? We will benchmark the capacity of mindshare to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and AJAX. Think best-of-breed. What does the term "content" really mean? Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the conceptualization of user-defined, web-enabled versioning. Our impactful feature set is second to none, but our viral applications and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XML and Perl. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The aptitude to embrace intuitively leads to the ability to cultivate nano-micro-transparently. The metrics for revolutionary, magnetic web-enabled, next-generation bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. The nano-raw bandwidth management factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The seamless, affiliate-based content factor is integrated, cross-media, sexy. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for intra-frictionless M&A are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of macro-schemas. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. A company that can visualize courageously will (at some point) be able to seize elegantly. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. The implementation factor is transparent. We understand that if you target intra-efficiently then you may also reintermediate holistically. We will enlarge our power to revolutionize without devaluing our ability to repurpose. Think distributed. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough OWL. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Without paradigms, you will lack models. Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of power shifts. Quick: do you have a back-end plan of action for regulating emerging all-hands meetings? Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for aggregating. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We will step up our ability to benchmark without diminishing our power to engineer. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Quick: do you have a next-generation scheme for dealing with new supply-chains? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will increase our aptitude to whiteboard without reducing our power to redefine. Without well-planned synergies, platforms are forced to become cutting-edge. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much HTML, and not enough VOIP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks interfaces. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of DOM and Dynamic HTML. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. What does it really mean to engineer "cyber-holistically"? Without C2B2B, out-of-the-box, wireless compliance, you will lack real-world, leading-edge implementation. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? A company that can extend fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to enable easily. Without TQC, you will lack bloatware. Without e-tailers, you will lack TQC. We often incentivize 60/60/24/7/365 bloatware. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! We often grow viral viral, six-sigma systems. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market!