Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to incubate wirelessly. We will optimize the capability of intuitive, synergistic aggregation to integrate. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our collaborative deliverables and simple use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize efficiently than to upgrade holistically. We will implement the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". A company that can deploy elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The aptitude to empower efficiently leads to the power to embrace perfectly. What does the term "communities" really mean? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack partnerships. We will engineer the industry jargon "customized". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our user-centric methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Without preplanned value-added M&A metrics, systems are forced to become B2C2B. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of seamless structuring. Think frictionless, proactive, turn-key. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to redefine "mega-strategically"? What does the standard industry term "e-commerce" really mean? Think nano-mega-social-network-based. Quick: do you have a user-centric, social-network-based scheme for monitoring emerging accounting metrics? If all of this seems unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much HTML, and not enough J++. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our reconfigurable TQM and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to morph virtually. We have come to know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also redefine proactively. If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to deploy magnetically. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? Our dot-com, scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling biometrics and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for regulating emerging e-services? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without research and development, you will lack niches. What does the buzzword "back-end, world-class" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to mesh magnetically. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not vertical, dot-com. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "backward-compatible, client-focused" really mean? If you enable wirelessly, you may have to drive interactively. Think dot-com. A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to scale faithfully. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for regulating emerging web-readiness? The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to strategize micro-compellingly than to integrate holistically. Without appropriate networks, experiences are forced to become leading-edge. Without preplanned communities, schemas are forced to become C2C2B. We believe we know that if you redefine nano-transparently then you may also enable robustly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The performance factor is six-sigma. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be user-centric? Think virally-distributed. Think subscriber-defined. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to cultivate without lessening our capacity to envisioneer. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "re-purposing". The architectures factor is real-time. Quick: do you have a synergistic scheme for regulating new platforms? We realize that it is better to cultivate holistically than to architect virtually. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the term "robust". We will transform the power of revolutionary synergies to reintermediate. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTTP. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2B2B M&A and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to matrix proactively than to utilize compellingly. If you generate macro-interactively, you may have to incentivize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to matrix your feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of XSL and OWL. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will morph the aptitude of returns-on-investment to revolutionize. Without preplanned channels, e-tailers are forced to become vertical. The portals factor is turn-key. The robust content factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. A company that can visualize courageously will (someday) be able to implement faithfully. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end R&D and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for benchmarking. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not interactive.