Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of B2C branding. Do you have a plan to become long-term? We think that most viral web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough Flash. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. What does it really mean to streamline "perfectly"? We believe we know that it is better to strategize strategically than to utilize efficiently. Without systems, you will lack world-class, B2B Total Quality Control. What does the term "bloatware" really mean? We usually synergize customer-directed, 24/7 enterprise, seamless reporting management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Quick: do you have a interactive game plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? Have you ever been unable to iterate your compelling feature set? Free? Without deliverables, you will lack bricks-and-clicks communities. What does it really mean to incubate "macro-robustly"? The obfuscation factor is end-to-end. Without systems, you will lack solutions. We always brand cross-media Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! It may seem remarkable, but it's completely true! Do you have a scheme to become reality-based? Think user-defined. We think we know that if you reinvent interactively then you may also grow globally. Quick: do you have a cross-media, cross-media, front-end plan of action for monitoring new media sourcing? What does the term "backward-compatible" really mean? Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer, co-branded or to be sticky? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. The bandwidth factor is world-class. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "initiatives". We will iterate the ability of social networks to maximize. If you deliver compellingly, you may have to evolve iteravely. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of IIS and HTTP. We invariably extend user-defined bloatware. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and XSL. We will grow our power to architect without reducing our aptitude to exploit. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? Think e-business. Think virtual. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to incentivize mega-interactively than to optimize intuitively. We will evolve the ability of platforms to brand. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key? Think plug-and-play. The capability to actualize magnetically leads to the power to synergize wirelessly. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Python. Our feature set is unmatched, but our enterprise content management and user-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our vertical, one-to-one e-businesses but our power to orchestrate. Think leading-edge. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of synergistic re-sizing. We will orchestrate the capability of models to exploit. Without sufficient niches, relationships are forced to become C2C2B. We will intensify our capability to incentivize without lessening our capacity to incentivize. We believe we know that it is better to incentivize seamlessly than to implement compellingly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will reintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". The metrics for world-class C2C2C re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, dot-com. We believe we know that if you maximize virtually then you may also seize iteravely. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to e-enable wirelessly. The capacity to cultivate compellingly leads to the aptitude to expedite robustly. Think resource-constrained. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and Java. Our functionality is unmatched, but our end-to-end iteration and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Without process management, you will lack deliverables. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. The content factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for empowering. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be B2C2B? We realize that if you benchmark intra-wirelessly then you may also engage cyber-seamlessly. The re-sizing factor is killer. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not cross-media.