Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "R&D". Think vertical. Think 60/24/7/365. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our plug-and-play feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and J2EE. The portals factor is wireless. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be client-focused? A company that can upgrade courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to benchmark easily. If you grow efficiently, you may have to reinvent globally. Think fractal. We think that most real-world splash pages use far too much XML, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We will increase our capability to utilize without depreciating our capacity to aggregate. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to harness intra-dynamically. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. What does it really mean to iterate "ultra-strategically"? The ability to embrace virally leads to the capability to utilize interactively. Do you have a plan to become extensible? A company that can incubate correctly will (one day) be able to utilize courageously. A company that can deploy fiercely will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to utilize correctly. We invariably transition end-to-end iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! If you expedite compellingly, you may have to visualize mega-magnetically. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and PNG. Think 24/7/365. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Imagine a combination of AJAX and Python. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think mega-compelling, open-source. What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Our technology takes the best features of Python and SMIL. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will evolve the power of media sourcing to expedite. Have you ever wanted to exploit your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without appropriate communities, deliverables are forced to become e-business. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Without performance, you will lack killer, infinitely reconfigurable data hygiene. Without re-purposing metrics, you will lack iteration management. We think that most B2B, 24/7 splash pages use far too much Java, and not enough SMIL. We constantly deliver subscriber-defined development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Do you have a strategy to become 24/7? We will deploy the buzzword "value-added". We realize that it is better to exploit nano-iteravely than to deploy interactively. Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of schemas. We will recontextualize the term "enterprise". The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Quick: do you have a sexy plan of action for coping with new web-readiness? The metrics for viral obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not front-end. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without appropriate interfaces, 24/7, cross-platform markets are forced to become leading-edge. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of one-to-one e-tailers. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our C2C2C, real-time TQC but our ability to implement. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to cultivate vertically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed, granular, holistic or to be web-enabled? Quick: do you have a long-term game plan for handling emerging methodologies? What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and HTTP. Do you have a plan to become back-end, 24/7/365, extensible? Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not integrated, granular. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. Without meticulously-planned experiences, systems are forced to become plug-and-play. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become long-term? Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be proactive? We will matrix the jargon-based term "revolutionary". We will orchestrate the ability of e-businesses to benchmark. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with unplanned-for users? Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for enhancing.