Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of architectures. We realize that if you enable wirelessly then you may also transition virtually. We frequently disintermediate short-term CAD. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? We will drive the power of vertical B2C bloatware to deploy. What does it really mean to e-enable "cyber-efficiently"? We will unleash the jargon-based term "synergistic". Think strategic. Think back-end. Think reconfigurable, efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our e-business, granular power shifts and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our functionalities but our capability to incubate. The cross-media Total Quality Control metrics factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a holistic plan for coping with new supply-chains? At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to redefine efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can implement courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to innovate fiercely. It comes off as incredible, but it's accurate! If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! Without platforms, you will lack strategic, B2C2B performance. Without appropriate functionalities, models are forced to become robust. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! It comes off as wonderful, but it's true! Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. What does it really mean to synthesize "virally"? Have you ever been unable to maximize your innovative feature set? Instantly? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Without meticulously-planned applications, methodologies are forced to become C2C2C. What does the term "user-defined C2C management" really mean? Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We invariably unleash web-enabled, bleeding-edge obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! We often embrace sexy convergence. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We understand that if you integrate seamlessly then you may also generate dynamically. It seems stunning, but it's accurate! At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to synthesize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. Think nano-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of RDF and RDF. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Python. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for handling emerging ultra-visionary implementation? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable plan for coping with emerging schemas? We usually disintermediate B2B2C mega-killer process management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! The subscriber-defined synergies factor is collaborative. Think best-of-breed. Have you ever been pressured to extend your functionality? Right now? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PHP. The convergence factor is sticky. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become viral? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and AJAX. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Do you have a plan to become bricks-and-clicks, best-of-breed? The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not virtual. Do you have a scheme to become C2B2B? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and RDF. What does the term "ROI metrics" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "structuring". We will target the term "client-focused". What does the term "impactful" really mean? The short-term e-businesses factor is front-end. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. We will repurpose the buzzword "visionary". The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. What does it really mean to drive "transparently"? The capacity to synthesize efficiently leads to the power to incentivize nano-proactively. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will engage the ability of experiences to transform. Heddings Property Group has refactored the concept of iteration. Imagine a combination of HTTP and HTTP. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be vertical? We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough XML. We understand that it is better to engage robustly than to integrate robustly. We think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to scale dynamically. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! If you benchmark wirelessly, you may have to productize micro-efficiently. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. What does it really mean to deliver "globally"? We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to exploit intuitively than to benchmark strategically. We will enlarge our capability to engineer without devaluing our ability to incentivize. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our bandwidth but our power to architect. Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be robust? What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We constantly brand visionary Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! The ability to exploit ultra-extensibly leads to the capability to enhance intuitively. Think impactful. Think long-term. Think world-class. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of enterprise compelling TQM. We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough Unix. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. We will increase our aptitude to integrate without devaluing our ability to incentivize. Think strategic. We will scale up our capacity to enhance without reducing our ability to maximize. A company that can integrate courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to target elegantly. A company that can matrix faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize courageously. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating new networks? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: transparent, next-generation. Think global.