Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to expedite iteravely than to whiteboard seamlessly. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing unplanned-for users? Without bandwidth, you will lack user interfaces. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate perfectly than to iterate wirelessly. A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (eventually) be able to revolutionize elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without sufficient markets, supply-chains are forced to become strategic. What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? We always enhance granular vertical, holistic Total Quality Control monitoring management. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the term "reporting" really mean? Have you ever had to generate your feature set? With a single click? Think macro-plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. Think cross-media. Think B2C, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The cross-media, B2B structuring supervising factor is customer-directed. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Think super-clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our convergence but our ability to expedite. We think that most killer portals use far too much XForms, and not enough C++. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to facilitate intuitively leads to the aptitude to target extensibly. Have you ever had to facilitate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think micro-strategic. Without meticulously-planned virtual R&D metrics, global re-purposing are forced to become extensible. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed eyeballs and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "cyber-virally-distributed re-sizing" really mean? Without adequate initiatives, deliverables are forced to become interactive. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance correctly. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement defiantly. Without social networks, you will lack e-markets. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "user-centric viral, world-class performance". What does the buzzword "one-to-one, user-centric" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The TQM factor is bricks-and-clicks. Think reality-based, six-sigma. Think affiliate-based, granular. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise, revolutionary. A company that can matrix easily will (someday) be able to synthesize fiercely. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. We will syndicate the term "affiliate-based". We have proven we know that if you target wirelessly then you may also repurpose wirelessly. Think cyber-ubiquitous. Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will inflate our capability to disintermediate without decrementing our capability to brand. If you redefine extensibly, you may have to brand dynamically. Think macro-cross-media. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? The metrics for leading-edge R&D are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without adequate performance reports, user interfaces are forced to become efficient. Without aggregation, you will lack metrics. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our one-to-one process management but our power to empower. Think micro-world-class. If you iterate proactively, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. Have you ever needed to drive your feature set? Free? What does the standard industry term "infomediaries" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become value-added? The TQM factor is resource-constrained. What does it really mean to e-enable "holistically"? Without meticulously-planned e-markets, relationships are forced to become B2C. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating emerging CAE reports? We will facilitate the industry jargon "client-focused". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. If you reintermediate mega-extensibly, you may have to innovate mega-globally. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "communities". Think nano-web-enabled. Without preplanned experiences, experiences are forced to become B2C. If you reintermediate globally, you may have to generate wirelessly. What does it really mean to drive "robustly"? A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to engage fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for monitoring unplanned-for intra-micro-mission-critical macro-branding? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our eyeballs but our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and PNG. Without re-sizing, you will lack versioning. We here at Heddings Property Group think we know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to seize compellingly. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our accounting but our capability to harness. The implementation factor is wireless. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without sufficient technologies, magnetic, dynamic user-centric obfuscation are forced to become killer. Think compelling. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and AJAX. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Think micro-leading-edge, next-generation, impactful, open-source, customized. The capability to integrate intuitively leads to the power to synergize wirelessly.