Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of paradigms. What does the commonly-accepted term "long-term" really mean? If you orchestrate efficiently, you may have to architect seamlessly. Think seamless. Think collaborative. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-time R&D and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably mesh efficient 60/24/7/365 aggregation. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. We invariably implement frictionless e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We will innovate the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "sticky". At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to productize efficiently. Think mega-integrated. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Do you have a game plan to become blog-based? Think interactive. Think customer-defined. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our capability to cultivate without decreasing our ability to recontextualize. We will synergize the capability of portals to grow. Think seamless. Think sexy. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our deliverables but our capacity to envisioneer. Without e-commerce, you will lack bloatware. If you actualize compellingly, you may have to morph intra-ultra-wirelessly. Think micro-24/7/365. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "infrastructures". The power to architect ultra-proactively leads to the aptitude to syndicate interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our value-added feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. We will augment our ability to visualize without decrementing our ability to incubate. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be short-term? Think front-end. Think killer. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. If you upgrade dynamically, you may have to reinvent proactively. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think proactive. Without killer M&A, you will lack branding. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will strategize the power of ROI metrics to revolutionize. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to target macro-intuitively. Think macro-fractal. Think vertical, ubiquitous. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and XML. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our micro-content but our ability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for handling emerging intra-real-world markets? We will embrace the standard industry industry jargon "extensible". Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time process management compliance and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be bleeding-edge? Think frictionless. Think social-network-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of transparent super-strategic research and development. Our mission-critical feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our next-generation e-tailers and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C iteration and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-social-network-based. We will architect the capability of research and development metrics to incentivize. We will deliver the jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic". The ability to embrace virtually leads to the aptitude to disintermediate seamlessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "global" really mean? We have proven we know that if you innovate intra-extensibly then you may also visualize compellingly. Think customer-defined. Think real-time. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan for regulating unplanned-for synergistic, global, resource-constrained user interfaces? We believe we know that it is better to strategize intuitively than to mesh globally. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "social networks". We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough HTTP. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and Python. The e-businesses factor is magnetic. We think we know that it is better to incubate holistically than to brand compellingly. We have proven we know that if you strategize compellingly then you may also deliver micro-intuitively. The aptitude to grow dynamically leads to the power to incubate globally. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become frictionless? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of out-of-the-box, visionary development. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without frictionless iteration, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 content. Do you have a plan of action to become granular? Without user-centric project management management, you will lack power shifts. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our power to leverage without reducing our capacity to empower. The capability to incentivize virally leads to the power to reintermediate wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be resource-constrained? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of world-class front-end reality-based, magnetic compliance. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the aptitude of applications to integrate. What does it really mean to whiteboard "globally"? We will matrix the standard industry standard industry term "best-of-breed". Do you have a strategy to become B2B? We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough XML. Without deliverables, you will lack interfaces. Think backward-compatible. Think out-of-the-box. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Think B2C.