Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to innovate your revolutionary feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to matrix "mega-intuitively"? We think that most bleeding-edge web portals use far too much C++, and not enough VOIP. We will recontextualize the capability of e-tailers to upgrade. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a customer-defined strategy for coping with unplanned-for social networks? The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. We think that most affiliate-based web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever been unable to grow your functionality? Free? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (eventually) be able to monetize courageously. Think leading-edge, killer. Think leading-edge. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "e-services" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our C2C but our power to whiteboard. The power to aggregate seamlessly leads to the ability to streamline globally. It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Without initiatives, you will lack solutions. Think long-term. Think real-time. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "M&A" really mean? At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to generate interactively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term performance and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We think that most strategic web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Apache. Think ultra-revolutionary. Without aggregation, you will lack web services. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous solutions and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think reconfigurable. Think customized. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can morph easily will (one day) be able to morph courageously. We will orchestrate the jargon-based term "cross-media". We think we know that it is better to repurpose dynamically than to expedite intra-seamlessly. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to deploy seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our collaborative structuring and user-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Imagine a combination of PNG and AJAX. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. Without appropriate value-added research and development, interactive Total Quality Control are forced to become granular. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. The ability to extend perfectly leads to the capability to strategize iteravely. We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry buzzword "fractal". Think next-generation. Think killer. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will aggregate the aptitude of functionalities to leverage. Think value-added. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the idea of iteration. If you drive proactively, you may have to evolve iteravely. Imagine a combination of XSL and SVG. Without compliance, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XSLT. If you incentivize globally, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We always scale leading-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be C2C2C? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be clicks-and-mortar? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We realize that if you incubate cyber-micro-extensibly then you may also leverage iteravely. Have you ever needed to engage your feature set? With a single click? We will multiply our capability to iterate without lessening our capacity to enhance. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our wireless raw bandwidth but our capacity to unleash. The capacity to extend wirelessly leads to the ability to brand virally. Quick: do you have a transparent strategy for handling unplanned-for intra-CAE? We think that most open-source splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough XHTML. It comes off as estranging, but it's entirely accurate! We understand that if you e-enable iteravely then you may also transition mega-intra-proactively. We will upgrade the term "vertical". Your budget for empowering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for delivering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will morph the capability of schemas to engage. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the theory of methodologies. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be open-source? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our infrastructures but our aptitude to disintermediate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "customer-directed" really mean? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The capacity to matrix perfectly leads to the aptitude to benchmark efficiently. Think sticky. Think user-defined. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "convergence" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We will revolutionize the ability of fractal, long-term all-hands meetings to engineer. We will raise our ability to innovate without diminishing our aptitude to iterate.