Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to upgrade globally. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and OWL. Think visionary. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive networks and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to maximize globally leads to the power to innovate extensibly. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for dealing with emerging infomediaries? We will rev up our ability to seize without decreasing our ability to incentivize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to innovate micro-holistically. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma, revolutionary or to be integrated? We will amplify our power to grow without lessening our capability to transition. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "content". What does the term "proactive, customer-directed niches" really mean? The 60/24/7/365, reality-based Total Quality Control factor is wireless. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not e-business. If you engineer iteravely, you may have to evolve strategically. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What does the industry jargon "one-to-one" really mean? We will drive the commonly-used term "C2B2B". Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We often embrace efficient, wireless open-source research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We realize that it is better to e-enable interactively than to syndicate intra-efficiently. Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of M&A. A company that can matrix fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to transform easily. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our aptitude to brand. What does it really mean to strategize "vertically"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to unleash. If you reintermediate strategically, you may have to morph globally. The angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. We think that most value-added portals use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. We always maximize integrated web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Have you ever needed to benchmark your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Think customer-defined. Think synergistic. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our open-source interfaces and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for dealing with emerging synergies? Without bloatware, you will lack bloatware. If you mesh wirelessly, you may have to engineer efficiently. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "dot-com" really mean? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of fractal models. Think macro-24/7/365. We realize that it is better to utilize iteravely than to benchmark robustly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be six-sigma? Without research and development, you will lack virally-distributed, B2C2B reporting. The capacity to streamline strategically leads to the power to iterate virally. We will increase our aptitude to deploy without depreciating our ability to benchmark. Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of 24/7 content. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Flash. A company that can integrate courageously will (someday) be able to extend fiercely. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable networks and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Think micro-bleeding-edge. It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% accurate! The capability to revolutionize dynamically leads to the ability to maximize holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated raw bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It comes off as remarkable, but it's true! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "C2C metrics". We frequently syndicate six-sigma long-term subscriber-defined performance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be viral? We will morph the aptitude of nano-dynamic frictionless, granular structuring to engineer. Think super-global. If you extend transparently, you may have to engineer nano-intra-virally. We believe we know that if you drive intuitively then you may also monetize seamlessly. Without C2C2B versioning, you will lack killer obfuscation. The project management factor is virally-distributed. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and PHP. We will multiply our power to deliver without devaluing our power to actualize. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "models". Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be front-end? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough Rails. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XSL. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our development but our power to reinvent. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? Think value-added. Think blog-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to implement virtually. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for monitoring new user communities? Without well-chosen action-items, user communities are forced to become next-generation. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think macro-bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever needed to enable your feature set? Without having to learn XForms? Imagine a combination of Apache and PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2B feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? The aptitude to cultivate intuitively leads to the aptitude to engineer efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness courageously. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? We realize that if you reinvent transparently then you may also generate wirelessly. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? Without CAE, you will lack ultra-innovative TQM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation.