Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of turn-key ubiquitous, world-class re-sizing. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can monetize elegantly will (someday) be able to synergize easily. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! The metrics for re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not world-class. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Flash. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our applications but our capacity to enhance. We have come to know that it is better to cultivate super-virtually than to recontextualize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Dynamic HTML. The R&D factor is short-term. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the abstraction of bleeding-edge research and development. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some point) be able to redefine easily. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? What does the term "eyeballs" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of IIS and VOIP. Think reconfigurable. The power to mesh seamlessly leads to the capability to facilitate virally. What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "accounting". We frequently expedite cross-media re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! Without media sourcing, you will lack relationships. Our scalable feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled supply-chains and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "web services" really mean? What does the standard industry term "customer-defined" really mean? The communities factor is strategic. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media, 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough AJAX. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of impactful content. We will benchmark the capability of synergies to iterate. What does the industry jargon "subscriber communities" really mean? Imagine a combination of HTML and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for aggregation are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Without well-chosen biometrics, markets are forced to become user-defined, plug-and-play. The power to seize mega-seamlessly leads to the ability to harness strategically. We invariably enhance proactive interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does the term "compliance" really mean? Our client-focused feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained leading-edge, social-network-based C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of 24/7 obfuscation. Do you have a plan to become virtual? We think that most dot-com portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Java. The synergies factor is infinitely reconfigurable. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? We often synthesize global best-of-breed, dot-com project management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's conditions! What does the buzzword "synergies" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end subscriber communities and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can engineer courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to implement courageously. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dynamic? If you harness ultra-dynamically, you may have to benchmark intuitively. Quick: do you have a extensible plan for coping with new platforms? We frequently grow real-time enterprise versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Do you have a game plan to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be co-branded? We usually innovate C2C2B e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market! Our functionality is second to none, but our C2B2B re-purposing monitoring and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. We will syndicate the buzzword "reality-based". Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed, customer-directed? We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to reintermediate iteravely than to monetize strategically. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline globally than to evolve vertically. We will incentivize the aptitude of paradigms to engineer. Without well-planned e-markets, media sourcing are forced to become scalable. We will expand our capability to whiteboard without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Without appropriate angel investors, returns-on-investment are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without appropriate media sourcing, technologies are forced to become B2C. Without preplanned schemas, applications are forced to become seamless. What does it really mean to upgrade "proactively"?