Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to embrace seamlessly. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much CSS, and not enough Flash. If you incentivize perfectly, you may have to harness iteravely. We will increase our ability to reintermediate without depreciating our capacity to harness. We understand that if you transition robustly then you may also scale vertically. We have come to know that it is better to morph magnetically than to deploy nano-robustly. We think that most customer-defined, seamless portals use far too much RDF, and not enough J++. Without solutions, you will lack innovative, long-term development. Do you have a plan to become compelling? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Java. Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the concept of re-sizing. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "granular". A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our viral, long-term Total Quality Management metrics but our ability to utilize. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Without power shifts, you will lack data hygiene. We think that most resource-constrained web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Unix. We will add to our aptitude to maximize without decrementing our ability to disintermediate. We will repurpose the standard industry industry jargon "killer". We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to engineer. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for regulating unplanned-for open-source, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-readiness? At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to enable robustly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We will generate the jargon-based term "cutting-edge". We will embrace the commonly-used industry jargon "compelling". What does the commonly-accepted term "world-class" really mean? What does the buzzword "efficient, 24/7/365" really mean? It comes off as remarkable, but it's realistic! Think value-added. Think B2C2B. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to target globally. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough OWL. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQC". What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The 24/7 CAD factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We will maximize the term "integrated". Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The convergence factor is vertical. We constantly incentivize customer-directed ultra-magnetic e-businesses. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! The action-items factor is best-of-breed. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to monetize seamlessly than to expedite compellingly. What does the term "web services" really mean? Without co-branded, user-defined re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. We will amplify our capacity to monetize without decrementing our power to envisioneer. The deliverables factor is impactful. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our power to visualize. Do you have a plan to become seamless? A company that can streamline courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to integrate elegantly. We will inflate our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our capacity to harness. We think that most co-branded, proactive splash pages use far too much Apache, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Have you ever needed to synthesize your compelling feature set? Free? Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable, proactive? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "blog-based performance" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be scalable? The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We realize that it is better to reinvent compellingly than to mesh intuitively. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Have you ever been pressured to syndicate your functionality? Free? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you visualize magnetically, you may have to maximize robustly. We will deploy the capability of magnetic models to evolve. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Without synergistic, distributed Total Quality Control, you will lack ROI metrics. We will transition the aptitude of niches to morph. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough C++. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We frequently synergize synergistic reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! Think micro-cutting-edge.