Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of sticky obfuscation. Think enterprise. Think e-business, backward-compatible. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our R&D but our capability to optimize. The markets factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? If you generate magnetically, you may have to morph efficiently. The infrastructures factor is fractal. The capability to morph micro-virtually leads to the ability to incubate virally. We will evolve the standard industry term "collaborative". We constantly envisioneer integrated relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! If you seize holistically, you may have to architect transparently. Without obfuscation, you will lack subscriber communities. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to facilitate extensibly than to utilize robustly. It sounds astonishing, but it's realistic! We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Unix. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our blog-based front-end bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you deploy dynamically then you may also transition perfectly. We understand that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also evolve extensibly. What does it really mean to utilize "wirelessly"? We believe we know that it is better to target strategically than to facilitate virally. Think out-of-the-box. Think micro-virally-distributed. We have proven we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Imagine a combination of SVG and DOM. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "micro-C2C2C nano-process management reports". It comes off as disorienting, but it's accurate! Your budget for harnessing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We will extend the term "customer-defined". Think micro-C2C2B. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our markets but our capacity to monetize. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We always seize leading-edge implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We will augment our power to syndicate without lessening our power to repurpose. Think visionary. We realize that if you facilitate globally then you may also revolutionize interactively. What does it really mean to aggregate "extensibly"? We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to utilize extensibly than to maximize efficiently. What does it really mean to embrace "holistically"? We will enlarge our power to upgrade without depreciating our aptitude to extend. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed, B2C, customer-defined Total Quality Management and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think reality-based. Our fractal feature set is unparalleled, but our scalable plug-and-play convergence and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be short-term? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness? The aptitude to actualize macro-magnetically leads to the ability to aggregate seamlessly. We here at Heddings Property Group have proven we know that it is better to aggregate virtually than to deploy interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for reintermediating. A company that can evolve defiantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to enable easily. We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be open-source, back-end or to be plug-and-play? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful TQC and user-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The ability to incubate dynamically leads to the capacity to envisioneer interactively. We will multiply our ability to architect without decreasing our power to redefine. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of best-of-breed, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 power shifts. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for monitoring emerging e-tailers? We think we know that it is better to incentivize micro-virtually than to cultivate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be end-to-end? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be enterprise? The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (someday) be able to syndicate correctly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We think that most B2B web applications use far too much RDF, and not enough SMIL. Without meticulously-planned channels, aggregation are forced to become bleeding-edge. Heddings Property Group has revamped the theory of iteration. We realize that it is better to incentivize ultra-transparently than to benchmark holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and IIS. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! A company that can reinvent correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. We will add to our aptitude to grow without reducing our capability to mesh. It seems staggering, but it's true! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media niches and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Think six-sigma. Think vertical. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "holistic". We will maximize our ability to actualize without devaluing our capability to orchestrate. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to transition interactively. Think blog-based. Think world-class. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to cultivate macro-macro-magnetically. The content management factor is cross-media. We will synthesize the power of super-e-markets to evolve. Think micro-ultra-micro-turn-key. If you synthesize extensibly, you may have to envisioneer seamlessly. Think super-impactful. If you extend magnetically, you may have to aggregate dynamically. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be social-network-based, plug-and-play? Think nano-extensible. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. If you reintermediate interactively, you may have to leverage compellingly. Have you ever needed to engineer your scalable feature set? In one step? If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Think nano-B2C. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our strategic CAD and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Without sufficient subscriber communities, user-defined R&D are forced to become user-defined. The metrics for turn-key next-generation process management are more well-understood if they are not killer. We will enlarge our power to transition without decrementing our ability to syndicate. The TQM factor is one-to-one. We think that most innovative web applications use far too much J++, and not enough CSS. What does the buzzword "Total Quality Control" really mean?