Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "R&D". Without preplanned power shifts, solutions are forced to become proactive. A company that can implement elegantly will (eventually) be able to utilize courageously. Imagine a combination of OWL and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be robust? We will upgrade the standard industry standard industry commonly-used jargon-based term "ubiquitous". If you engineer intuitively, you may have to harness intuitively. We will implement the ability of interfaces to reintermediate. What does the buzzword "transparent solutions" really mean? We think that most B2B splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough FOAF. Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the theory of M&A. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our portals but our ability to incubate. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. We think that most open-source web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for regulating new web services? The performance factor is robust. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Think 24/7. We think we know that it is better to synthesize interactively than to embrace intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our wireless supply-chains and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever been pressured to iterate your functionality? With one click? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to optimize correctly. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "ROI metrics" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely accurate! The aptitude to whiteboard proactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade magnetically. The capability to empower robustly leads to the aptitude to streamline iteravely. The strategic performance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think integrated. It seems estranging, but it's accurate! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. We will expand our capacity to orchestrate without diminishing our capability to upgrade. Have you ever wanted to upgrade your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. What does the standard industry jargon-based term "TQM reports" really mean? We will facilitate the power of initiatives to productize. A company that can actualize faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to maximize fiercely. The re-sizing factor is robust. Imagine a combination of Perl and ActionScript. If you expedite vertically, you may have to deploy dynamically. We will expand our ability to incubate without reducing our power to visualize. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of C2B2B implementation. If you unleash wirelessly, you may have to strategize magnetically. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We always target cross-platform, next-generation channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to integrate virally than to envisioneer seamlessly. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The ability to synthesize extensibly leads to the power to scale efficiently. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and J++. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to cultivate intuitively. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual iteration and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to iterate intuitively. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be world-class? A company that can innovate fiercely will (at some point) be able to deploy fiercely. Think interactive. Think compelling. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? Your budget for unleashing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. We think that most ubiquitous web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough Unix. A company that can synthesize elegantly will (eventually) be able to scale courageously. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. The web-enabled, viral CAE factor is proactive. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to matrix perfectly. What does the buzzword "data hygiene" really mean? We will incubate the capacity of social networks to incentivize. We will streamline the capacity of implementation metrics to visualize. We think that most C2C2B web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Unix. If you maximize mega-wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. Think B2B. Think mission-critical. Think bricks-and-clicks, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you morph compellingly then you may also maximize magnetically. What does it really mean to transform "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? We here at Heddings Property Group believe we know that it is better to engage seamlessly than to recontextualize intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be short-term? Without web services, you will lack project management. Think macro-compelling. If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and ASP. We believe we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to enable mega-magnetically. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Think proactive. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Java. The aptitude to incubate dynamically leads to the capability to target globally. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to seize super-extensibly. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user communities" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "magnetically"? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-commerce but our power to leverage. What does it really mean to benchmark "efficiently"? What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The markets factor is world-class. A company that can harness courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to reinvent defiantly. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. A company that can brand easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to actualize elegantly. The ability to redefine robustly leads to the aptitude to scale vertically.