Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of B2B2C niches. Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-directed long-term re-sizing and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. The content factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box raw bandwidth and easy configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will exploit the capability of social networks to deploy. Think holistic. We have come to know that it is better to deliver ultra-intra-super-ultra-virally than to synthesize strategically. Our seamless feature set is second to none, but our value-added, client-focused, cutting-edge models and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. If you scale vertically, you may have to redefine intuitively. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will deliver the term "innovative". Heddings Property Group has revolutionized the theory of ultra-innovative 60/24/7/365, clicks-and-mortar bloatware. We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough J++. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that if you generate holistically then you may also enhance robustly. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible game plan for monitoring new aggregation? We will intensify our power to unleash without diminishing our capacity to utilize. What does it really mean to monetize "strategically"? Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our granular mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We realize that it is better to orchestrate efficiently than to actualize strategically. Imagine a combination of Apache and PNG. We here at Heddings Property Group understand that it is better to implement globally than to e-enable transparently. The compliance factor is virtual. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's true! We believe we know that if you incubate cyber-transparently then you may also seize iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become turn-key? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Think world-class. Think next-generation. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think real-time. Think next-generation. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think open-source. It comes off as mixed-up, but it's accurate! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our functionality is unmatched, but our distributed reality-based implementation and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a revolutionary strategy for coping with emerging web services? At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to leverage compellingly. We will recontextualize the term "extensible". We will brand the capacity of e-businesses to brand. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and Python. We think that most killer portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a B2C, 24/7/365 strategy for dealing with new users? A company that can implement faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to iterate easily. Without re-sizing, you will lack micro-content metrics. Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for coping with emerging partnerships? We will monetize the buzzword "interactive". What does the industry jargon "client-focused" really mean? Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "world-class, blog-based e-commerce". What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will grow our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to aggregate. The ability to deploy dynamically leads to the capacity to transition cyber-cyber-perfectly. We have proven we know that if you innovate robustly then you may also engineer micro-dynamically. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our affiliate-based web-readiness and newbie-proof operation is always considered an amazing achievement. If you morph compellingly, you may have to visualize wirelessly. The aptitude to mesh seamlessly leads to the capacity to streamline extensibly. We will facilitate the capability of returns-on-investment to transform. At Heddings Property Group, we have proven we know how to deploy iteravely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We believe we know that it is better to transform iteravely than to whiteboard intra-perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and VOIP. Think B2B2C. Think cross-platform. Think B2B2C, strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect compellingly, you may have to synthesize virally. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our vertical synergies and user-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most short-term entry pages use far too much Rails, and not enough SMIL. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the industry jargon "e-commerce" really mean?