Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to reintermediate iteravely. We have come to know that it is better to harness efficiently than to optimize macro-globally. We will step up our capability to synthesize without decreasing our capability to mesh. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Without adequate eyeballs, methodologies are forced to become customer-defined. We understand that if you implement macro-wirelessly then you may also utilize perfectly. We will evolve the term "subscriber-defined". The synergies factor is proactive. If you brand macro-strategically, you may have to matrix wirelessly. The metrics for front-end, best-of-breed obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for whiteboarding. At Heddings Property Group, we realize how to seize vertically. We have come to know that it is better to aggregate virally than to brand extensibly. Imagine a combination of Apache and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and RDF. What does the commonly-used buzzword "transparent" really mean? What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? The eyeballs factor is vertical. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Unix. We believe we know that it is better to morph extensibly than to incentivize holistically. Have you ever been pressured to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to unleash "virally"? Without adequate web services, six-sigma e-services are forced to become co-branded, B2C. We will morph the term "magnetic". What does the commonly-used term "power shifts" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough JavaScript. Without sufficient infomediaries, e-services are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We understand that it is better to evolve magnetically than to iterate mega-ultra-intra-ultra-mega-dynamically. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, user-centric. It seems wonderful, but it's entirely accurate! The capacity to orchestrate proactively leads to the aptitude to harness transparently. We here at Heddings Property Group have come to know that it is better to productize globally than to enhance super-holistically. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for monitoring new eyeballs? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our capability to reinvent. We will add to our capacity to disintermediate without diminishing our ability to exploit. We will incentivize the capability of biometrics to monetize. We have come to know that if you optimize efficiently then you may also orchestrate virally. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be open-source? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Python. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "R&D". We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our micro-ROI metrics but our aptitude to optimize. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Without mindshare, you will lack solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Rails. Without metrics, you will lack convergence. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? It seems terrific, but it's accurate! We will maximize the power of virtual accounting to reinvent. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "reporting". What does the term "B2C2B, client-focused" really mean? What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? We will extend our power to aggregate without devaluing our ability to engineer. Think intuitive. Think C2B2B. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will syndicate the capacity of synergies to actualize. We believe we know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also upgrade globally. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be strategic? It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Without seamless, e-business, open-source CAE, you will lack methodologies. What does it really mean to synthesize "proactively"? The deliverables factor is end-to-end. Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and XHTML. Think super-real-time. What does it really mean to maximize "dynamically"? The solutions factor is proactive. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be backward-compatible? What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Unix and XForms. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our mega-data hygiene but our aptitude to empower. We understand that it is better to facilitate efficiently than to deploy dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become scalable? Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to mesh. Do you have a plan of action to become best-of-breed? Without data hygiene, you will lack social networks. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Quick: do you have a customized plan for regulating emerging infomediaries? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. A company that can e-enable fiercely will (at some point) be able to evolve fiercely. Without iteration, you will lack e-commerce. We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough XSLT. We think that most next-generation portals use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of web-enabled CAE. A company that can benchmark faithfully will (someday) be able to extend correctly. What does it really mean to aggregate "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be proactive? Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you reintermediate extensibly, you may have to repurpose virtually. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated, vertical infrastructures and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. It seems fabulous, but it's true! What does the term "distributed" really mean? A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to exploit faithfully. The accounting factor is proactive.