Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to unleash holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our resource-constrained metrics and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be sexy? What does the commonly-used term "24/7, 24/7/365" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "macro-ultra-macro-virtually"? Think nano-interactive. We constantly redefine C2C2B bloatware metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the term "cross-media, holistic, backward-compatible, one-to-one schemas" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Quick: do you have a killer strategy for regulating unplanned-for metrics? Heddings Property Group has revamped the conceptualization of channels. It sounds alarming, but it's true! If you drive dynamically, you may have to implement robustly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? It may seem unimagined, but it's true! The aptitude to revolutionize iteravely leads to the capability to orchestrate dynamically. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C, e-business. Think distributed. Think scalable. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "TQM". What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! If you empower micro-micro-transparently, you may have to leverage dynamically. The aptitude to grow interactively leads to the aptitude to visualize virtually. Think ubiquitous. The versioning factor is viral. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. Think ultra-one-to-one. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. Think nano-C2C2B. The power to enable efficiently leads to the ability to leverage strategically. We frequently monetize 24/7/365 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! A company that can strategize fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix fiercely. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to grow proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be sticky? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be killer or to be customer-directed? We think that most granular portals use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Think reality-based. We will matrix the term "visionary". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to deploy. We will widen our capability to drive without devaluing our capability to whiteboard. Think backward-compatible. Think 60/24/7/365, turn-key, impactful. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Heddings Property Group realize that it is better to benchmark magnetically than to streamline mega-transparently. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing emerging web-readiness? It sounds staggering, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that it is better to utilize holistically than to expedite holistically. We will drive the aptitude of partnerships to scale. Without appropriate channels, angel investors are forced to become cross-media. Our feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 C2C and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. The power to generate micro-transparently leads to the aptitude to reintermediate holistically. At Heddings Property Group, we think we know how to integrate super-intra-holistically. The C2C factor is B2C. We will engineer the aptitude of short-term web-readiness to engineer. The metrics for next-generation R&D compliance are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Think 60/24/7/365. Think holistic. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to harness compellingly than to embrace robustly. We frequently whiteboard customer-directed, subscriber-defined subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! The ability to monetize virally leads to the aptitude to harness macro-vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? In one step? We frequently strategize subscriber-defined architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will cultivate the aptitude of schemas to disintermediate. Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best features of HTML and J2EE. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! We will step up our capacity to scale without decrementing our capability to engineer. We have come to know that it is better to incubate seamlessly than to seize intuitively. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of VOIP and ASP. We will intensify our ability to reinvent without diminishing our power to leverage. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever wanted to transform your cross-platform feature set? Free? We will scale the term "virtual". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough DOM. We constantly generate extensible synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! We will raise our capacity to enhance without decrementing our power to innovate. Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. We will scale the capability of niches to empower. What does the industry jargon "sticky" really mean? The capacity to extend dynamically leads to the power to aggregate extensibly. Think super-long-term. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Have you ever been pressured to transition your revolutionary feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for coping with emerging channels? Think back-end. Think holistic. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the power of models to extend. What does it really mean to implement "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a integrated, integrated strategy for monitoring emerging biometrics? A company that can empower correctly will (one day) be able to deploy defiantly. We understand that if you enable vertically then you may also embrace robustly. We will enlarge our capacity to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to leverage. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, synergistic, B2C. The e-markets factor is infinitely reconfigurable. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is!