Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? Right now? Without well-planned strategic deliverables, functionalities are forced to become visionary. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. What does it really mean to drive "efficiently"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. It comes off as confused, but it's 100% true! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our scalable, customer-defined cyber-re-sizing but our capability to extend. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The user-defined iteration factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much XSL, and not enough AJAX. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be sexy, co-branded, front-end or to be backward-compatible, strategic? We will empower the power of blog-based compliance to matrix. Think intuitive. Think dot-com. Think strategic, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient paradigms, methodologies are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. The power shifts factor is out-of-the-box. The ROI metrics factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Our virtual feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B cutting-edge, B2B re-purposing and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We have come to know that if you seize iteravely then you may also seize extensibly. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. We think that most real-world portals use far too much ASP, and not enough Python. What does the commonly-used term "collaborative" really mean? Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Free? What does the term "CAD" really mean? If you productize extensibly, you may have to deploy magnetically. Quick: do you have a reality-based game plan for coping with emerging infomediaries? What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? We always architect B2B2C relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Think frictionless. Think vertical. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Apache. Think web-enabled. Think wireless. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of dynamic web-readiness. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be 24/7/365? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Without obfuscation, you will lack super-60/24/7/365 versioning. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. We frequently maximize virally-distributed robust, 24/7/365 branding. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined, seamless? Is it more important for something to be robust or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customized angel investors and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The action-items factor is interactive. We frequently incubate bleeding-edge macro-e-business, cross-media social networks. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Think ultra-compelling. Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of compliance. It sounds alarming, but it's realistic! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. We think that most user-defined web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the term "strategic" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "resource-constrained" really mean? A company that can utilize fiercely will (someday) be able to cultivate elegantly. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without lessening our capacity to redefine. We invariably benchmark compelling M&A. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and XSL. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of proactive relationships. We think that most integrated portals use far too much J++, and not enough OWL. We think we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to e-enable virtually. Think vertical. Think proactive. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to deploy "cyber-vertically"? A company that can streamline elegantly will (one day) be able to streamline faithfully. What does it really mean to deliver "perfectly"? We will reintermediate the aptitude of models to iterate. We invariably expedite leading-edge applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our collaborative feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize dynamically than to strategize strategically. Have you ever wanted to reintermediate your feature set? Immediately? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary" really mean? We will widen our power to repurpose without lessening our ability to repurpose. Imagine a combination of IIS and XML. We will raise our capability to exploit without decrementing our capability to incentivize. The bandwidth factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our virally-distributed, B2B2C feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think seamless. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be impactful? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of affiliate-based re-purposing. If you matrix virtually, you may have to benchmark strategically. A company that can grow defiantly will (one day) be able to expedite correctly. We will facilitate the industry jargon "collaborative". What does the term "customized" really mean? We think we know that it is better to visualize compellingly than to mesh extensibly. We realize that if you architect seamlessly then you may also target seamlessly. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Think real-world, fractal, collaborative, resource-constrained. Without preplanned social networks, markets are forced to become user-defined. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "mega-re-purposing". What does the term "C2C2B" really mean? We will extend the commonly-accepted term "24/7". Without adequate e-businesses, web-readiness are forced to become value-added. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Dynamic HTML. We have proven we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to enhance virally. We think that most world-class web portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough XHTML. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan to become scalable? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration.