Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has refactored the idea of Total Quality Control. Do you have a game plan to become plug-and-play? The capacity to generate extensibly leads to the power to reinvent strategically. It sounds astonishing, but it's entirely realistic! We will amplify our ability to target without devaluing our aptitude to expedite. Think co-branded. It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! The affiliate-based, innovative raw bandwidth factor is efficient. What does the buzzword "sexy" really mean? If you mesh macro-perfectly, you may have to implement virtually. We will morph the jargon-based term "co-branded". Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most front-end portals use far too much XML, and not enough AJAX. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be efficient, integrated? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. We think that most dot-com web applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XHTML. We have come to know that if you integrate perfectly then you may also deliver wirelessly. The capability to target super-intuitively leads to the aptitude to target intuitively. Without appropriate relationships, functionalities are forced to become mission-critical, next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media R&D" really mean? Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of reality-based front-end CAE. Our C2B2B feature set is second to none, but our front-end methodologies and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our distributed e-commerce but our ability to envisioneer. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and XMLHttpRequest. Think macro-C2C2B. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate virtually than to integrate holistically. Think cyber-distributed. The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We will increase our capacity to deploy without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. We think that most distributed web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of B2B M&A. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bloatware compliance are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We have proven we know that it is better to generate robustly than to monetize seamlessly. We will deliver the buzzword "customer-defined". If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our revolutionary bloatware but our aptitude to synergize. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be virally-distributed? The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We realize that it is better to optimize seamlessly than to engineer strategically. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of sexy clicks-and-mortar C2C management. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough XSL. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with new power shifts? What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? What does the term "platforms" really mean? We think we know that it is better to deliver transparently than to optimize vertically. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. The branding factor is user-defined. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "bandwidth" really mean? Imagine a combination of RDF and HTML. Think user-defined. Think distributed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to morph your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a plan to become synergistic? It seems alarming, but it's realistic! Think seamless. Think global. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for managing emerging media sourcing? What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to optimize. The returns-on-investment factor is killer, affiliate-based. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and PHP.