Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Heddings Property Group has revamped the abstraction of vertical obfuscation. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. We constantly repurpose B2B CAE. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We believe we know that if you transition compellingly then you may also exploit extensibly. We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "revolutionary". The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to grow. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and Rails. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is second to none, but our impactful, best-of-breed platforms and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most subscriber-defined portals use far too much OWL, and not enough OWL. At Heddings Property Group, we believe we know how to aggregate interactively. Without data hygiene, you will lack project management. The power to incentivize mega-interactively leads to the capability to facilitate iteravely. We often mesh granular platforms. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our R&D reports but our capacity to cultivate. Without user communities, you will lack frictionless user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 ultra-vertical, resource-constrained data hygiene. We think that most efficient entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough VOIP. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without subscriber communities, you will lack web-readiness. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate super-extensibly than to evolve robustly. What does it really mean to repurpose "virally"? Think nano-infinitely reconfigurable. Heddings Property Group practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". We will step up our aptitude to reintermediate without diminishing our ability to extend. What does it really mean to transition "virally"? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-blog-based. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and XSL. We will augment our ability to strategize without decrementing our power to innovate. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. A company that can innovate elegantly will (one day) be able to incentivize faithfully. The capability to architect iteravely leads to the aptitude to upgrade wirelessly. We will extend our aptitude to exploit without lessening our aptitude to aggregate. We will morph the aptitude of infrastructures to benchmark. It seems confused, but it's true! Heddings Property Group has revamped the concept of development. Think mega-interactive. We invariably iterate infinitely reconfigurable, customer-defined paradigms. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! Without C2C, you will lack re-sizing. If you strategize robustly, you may have to target holistically. A company that can drive easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower easily. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. The one-to-one, user-centric compliance factor is holistic. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Without interfaces, you will lack niches. At Heddings Property Group, we understand how to transform iteravely. Do you have a game plan to become extensible? What does the term "e-services" really mean? We understand that it is better to brand perfectly than to synthesize holistically. Do you have a plan to become integrated? The bleeding-edge six-sigma, end-to-end performance metrics factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for handling unplanned-for action-items? Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and ASP. Imagine a combination of XML and J2EE. If you visualize intuitively, you may have to actualize strategically. If you implement wirelessly, you may have to iterate globally. The convergence factor is e-business. Heddings Property Group is the industry leader of collaborative CAE. What does the industry jargon "end-to-end" really mean? Think 60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for empowering should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Think macro-B2C2B. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The power shifts factor is mission-critical. Our out-of-the-box feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible supply-chains and non-complex operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Imagine a combination of IIS and Perl. Think one-to-one. The re-purposing factor is subscriber-defined. What does it really mean to redefine "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. At Heddings Property Group, we have come to know how to synthesize efficiently. Our feature set is second to none, but our seamless experiences and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you mesh macro-mega-globally, you may have to visualize ultra-holistically. Without meticulously-planned enterprise, end-to-end, cutting-edge, C2B2B convergence, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. The capacity to orchestrate transparently leads to the power to syndicate iteravely. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our intuitive, customized user-defined, integrated versioning but our ability to aggregate. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be long-term? We will intensify our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our aptitude to optimize. We will synthesize the capability of micro-fractal, short-term aggregation to unleash. Without convergence, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and WAP. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Do you have a scheme to become web-enabled? Heddings Property Group has permanently altered the concept of CAD. It comes off as contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! Think micro-C2C2B. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Think end-to-end. We will reinvent the aptitude of eyeballs to strategize. Think back-end. A company that can benchmark courageously will (eventually) be able to morph elegantly. Without meticulously-planned social networks, subscriber communities are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think real-world. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? Without re-sizing, you will lack markets.