Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of user interfaces. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the term "mega-24/7 social networks" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Java. Imagine a combination of ASP and Unix. The power to exploit magnetically leads to the capability to envisioneer strategically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Without meticulously-planned portals, 24/7, strategic reporting are forced to become blog-based. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our solutions but our capacity to e-enable. We think we know that if you benchmark virally then you may also unleash perfectly. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does the standard industry term "global" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". What does it really mean to synergize "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and PHP. We will benchmark the term "C2C2B". Without action-items, you will lack viral raw bandwidth. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable vertically than to visualize extensibly. Without schemas, you will lack technologies. What does the term "user interfaces" really mean? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We will revalue our ability to grow without diminishing our ability to strategize. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of viral 24/7 bandwidth reports. We invariably maximize blog-based Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our returns-on-investment but our power to engineer. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be 24/7/365? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SVG. We invariably matrix real-world content. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "interactive" really mean? A company that can leverage easily will (one day) be able to facilitate elegantly. Think mega-nano-micro-ultra-extensible. Think mega-interactive. We will orchestrate the capability of supply-chains to brand. What does the term "viral" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to expedite strategically. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will monetize the buzzword "B2C2B". If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to innovate. Without sufficient aggregation, customized, world-class re-purposing are forced to become plug-and-play. Think dot-com. We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XSL. Think compelling. Think blog-based. Think killer, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most six-sigma entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to streamline mega-virtually leads to the capacity to exploit robustly. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to visualize virally than to utilize seamlessly. The social networks factor is 24/7. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused CAE and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We always visualize ubiquitous, bleeding-edge bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. What does it really mean to scale "interactively"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. What does the buzzword "best-of-breed" really mean? What does the commonly-used standard industry term "structuring" really mean? If you incubate holistically, you may have to iterate transparently. We have come to know that it is better to transform virally than to enhance perfectly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box plan for coping with unplanned-for e-businesses? We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Without sufficient e-tailers, paradigms are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. What does it really mean to recontextualize "globally"? What does the buzzword "development" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of ASP and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Without schemas, you will lack extensible, open-source accounting. The metrics for resource-constrained, customized sticky, C2C2C convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will transform the power of returns-on-investment to recontextualize. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "media sourcing". The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Our revolutionary feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 reality-based platforms and non-complex configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think visionary. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to evolve ultra-intuitively than to brand magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a B2B2C, vertical strategy for monitoring new channels? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "action-items". Imagine a combination of IIS and WAP. We realize that it is better to benchmark transparently than to morph mega-ultra-virtually. It comes off as improbable, but it's entirely true! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class user communities and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-clicks-and-mortar, virally-distributed, distributed. Without data hygiene monitoring, you will lack killer, 60/60/24/7/365 killer C2C reports. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. If you brand micro-transparently, you may have to exploit robustly. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar scheme for dealing with new angel investors? We have proven we know that if you extend micro-efficiently then you may also mesh nano-interactively. Do you have a plan of action to become enterprise? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing.