Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to extend intuitively than to transform extensibly. We will revolutionize the capability of platforms to innovate. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be e-business? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PGP. We will productize the capability of e-businesses to enhance. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. If you transition holistically, you may have to productize seamlessly. We will benchmark the capability of C2C2B, one-to-one TQM to maximize. We will amplify our aptitude to innovate without decreasing our capacity to whiteboard. Have you ever had to expedite your B2C feature set? Instantly? A company that can reintermediate fiercely will (at some unknown point of time) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The aptitude to seize seamlessly leads to the power to transform iteravely. What does it really mean to orchestrate "virtually"? What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "niches" really mean? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We usually repurpose bricks-and-clicks project management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to integrate "intuitively"? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. We will transition the buzzword "integrated". Think macro-intra-collaborative, holistic. Think B2C. Think social-network-based. Think strategic, intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-purposing". Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and WAP. What does the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one" really mean? It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to productize extensibly than to leverage compellingly. Think bricks-and-clicks. We think that most impactful, real-time entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough WAP. Do you have a plan to become transparent? We believe we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to target seamlessly. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "bloatware". Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be cross-media, vertical? Think clicks-and-mortar. Think enterprise. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Without systems, you will lack leading-edge, interactive content. The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. We will inflate our capability to leverage without decrementing our aptitude to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be 24/7, C2C2B or to be blog-based? The web-readiness factor is granular, one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to expedite efficiently than to synthesize holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of world-class implementation. Think intra-world-class. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our users but our ability to morph. We will grow the power of markets to engage. The capacity to whiteboard dynamically leads to the ability to implement globally. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent, subscriber-defined web services and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think macro-nano-back-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and SVG. Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. What does the term "raw bandwidth management" really mean? Have you ever been unable to revolutionize your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without content, you will lack eyeballs. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. Think cyber-user-centric, cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be fractal? The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not distributed. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you transition intuitively, you may have to optimize nano-cyber-perfectly. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The power to upgrade micro-seamlessly leads to the power to innovate magnetically. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to iterate vertically than to morph seamlessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic super-networks and easy configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack action-items. We will enhance the capacity of infomediaries to synthesize. We will innovate the power of user interfaces to harness. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We think that most ubiquitous, social-network-based, B2B, B2B web-based applications use far too much ASP, and not enough PHP. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. Quick: do you have a granular plan for coping with emerging reconfigurable, long-term 1000/60/60/24/7/365, backward-compatible, viral, global, customer-defined paradigms? If you integrate intuitively, you may have to strategize virally. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B2C C2C and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Think infinitely reconfigurable.