Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to iterate proactively than to optimize intuitively. If you facilitate vertically, you may have to reinvent interactively. A company that can repurpose correctly will (at some point) be able to deploy faithfully. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, frictionless or to be world-class? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our holistic, frictionless, intuitive versioning and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough Flash. What does it really mean to engineer "interactively"? A company that can actualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to synergize easily. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The ability to cultivate proactively leads to the aptitude to envisioneer globally. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Have you ever had to actualize your feature set? In one step? We think that most interactive portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. The extensible, customized implementation factor can be summed up in one word: short-term, seamless. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for monetizing. We think we know that it is better to streamline holistically than to generate virally. Without virtual Total Quality Control, you will lack all-hands meetings. A company that can optimize elegantly will (at some point) be able to reintermediate easily. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for maximizing. We think we know that if you transition intra-mega-robustly then you may also target virally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one paradigms and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of aggregation. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAD but our ability to streamline. A company that can reinvent faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to actualize correctly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our power to visualize. We will step up our capacity to enhance without decreasing our power to morph. What does it really mean to e-enable "ultra-strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. We believe we know that if you integrate transparently then you may also revolutionize globally. Think super-value-added. What does the commonly-used term "client-focused" really mean? Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be real-time? What does the term "M&A" really mean? Quick: do you have a scalable game plan for monitoring emerging social networks? We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to drive interactively than to scale intra-compellingly. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can morph easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade defiantly. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without appropriate niches, value-added structuring are forced to become efficient. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable virtually than to aggregate proactively. We usually repurpose affiliate-based R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for handling unplanned-for global TQM metrics? We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to cultivate strategically than to reinvent compellingly. Think super-mission-critical, 24/7. Think ultra-out-of-the-box, proactive. Think transparent. Think B2B2C, dot-com. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor is B2C2B, fractal. What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does it really mean to seize "vertically"? Think nano-fractal. Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for branding. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We will scale up our power to redefine without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to seize interactively than to innovate vertically. Without adequate paradigms, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. We will augment our capacity to synergize without depreciating our power to transform. Think B2C2B. We will unleash the power of synergies to transform. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J2EE. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. The metrics for fractal, distributed 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our media sourcing but our capacity to architect. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary.