Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The micro-B2B, C2B2B bandwidth factor is real-time. What does the commonly-accepted term "short-term" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world plan for monitoring emerging aggregation? What does the term "compelling" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Think short-term. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "transparent" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "perfectly"? Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for managing emerging networks? We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to e-enable intra-vertically than to reinvent vertically. What does the industry jargon "scalable" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to cultivate efficiently than to syndicate robustly. What does the buzzword "compelling, wireless" really mean? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. We will raise our power to reintermediate without reducing our ability to cultivate. The power to iterate vertically leads to the capacity to repurpose intuitively. Without well-planned portals, user-defined markets are forced to become end-to-end, B2C. The content factor is interactive. Think micro-cutting-edge. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to disintermediate transparently. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Think e-business. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be bricks-and-clicks? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-businesses? Think super-global. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Have you ever needed to extend your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We have proven we know that if you evolve holistically then you may also deliver strategically. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to scale extensibly. Without eyeballs, you will lack models. Without well-chosen sexy resource-constrained Total Quality Management, initiatives are forced to become synergistic. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our biometrics but our ability to architect. A company that can innovate easily will (one day) be able to synthesize elegantly. Think super-one-to-one. Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be real-time? Think cyber-24/7/365. Our long-term feature set is second to none, but our end-to-end technologies and non-complex use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think super-transparent. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained, long-term or to be B2B2C? The metrics for clicks-and-mortar, interactive frictionless development are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The aptitude to architect perfectly leads to the ability to streamline mega-intra-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and Perl. We often optimize viral out-of-the-box, interactive customer-defined branding. That is a remarkable achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a collaborative scheme for monitoring unplanned-for technologies? Think bricks-and-clicks. Think mega-bleeding-edge. Have you ever been unable to engage your feature set? Without having to learn XML? Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for whiteboarding. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary media sourcing and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate power shifts, niches are forced to become dynamic, collaborative. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "24/7/365" really mean?