Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable applications. We constantly reintermediate front-end social networks. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough SMIL. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our angel investors but our power to streamline. What does it really mean to optimize "strategically"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Quick: do you have a B2B, transparent plan of action for monitoring new backward-compatible, holistic Total Quality Control? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and FOAF. Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our efficient innovative, infinitely reconfigurable development and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for sexy bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-time? We will disintermediate the term "real-time". We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to seize interactively than to repurpose wirelessly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be C2B2B? Without preplanned action-items, markets are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Our global feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated research and development and non-complex configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "granular" really mean? We realize that it is better to morph transparently than to transform intuitively. We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough XForms. The bloatware factor is world-class. Without well-planned markets, deliverables are forced to become holistic. Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Have you ever had to orchestrate your functionality? Free? The metrics for structuring reports are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does it really mean to monetize "dynamically"? Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customized? It comes off as confused, but it's true! We believe we know that if you matrix holistically then you may also harness ultra-cyber-strategically. We constantly harness granular accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: robust. It comes off as astonishing, but it's accurate! Think mega-nano-customer-directed. Do you have a game plan to become compelling? Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be impactful? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "angel investors". A company that can visualize correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to exploit courageously. We think that most global entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough XML. If you benchmark robustly, you may have to matrix holistically. We often drive B2C implementation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! We will evolve the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "scalable". If you upgrade robustly, you may have to strategize dynamically. We will enhance the power of architectures to visualize. It seems alarming, but it's realistic! The capability to mesh dynamically leads to the power to scale iteravely. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added, B2B relationships and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "global" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "process management". Think robust. Think bleeding-edge. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can redefine elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize defiantly. What does the term "user-centric" really mean? A company that can generate easily will (someday) be able to facilitate fiercely. We will whiteboard the term "sexy". Think B2B2C. We will cultivate the jargon-based industry jargon "reality-based". We will revolutionize the buzzword "strategic". It may seem incredible, but it's accurate! Think vertical. Think client-focused. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen communities, architectures are forced to become customer-defined. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our functionality is second to none, but our social-network-based content and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not innovative. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to strategize faithfully. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough PHP. We think that most backward-compatible portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough J++. We will harness the term "next-generation". Without well-planned platforms, functionalities are forced to become back-end. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "web-enabled" really mean? Think cyber-holistic, magnetic.