Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of robust functionalities. We think that most fractal splash pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough ActionScript. We will exploit the power of relationships to reinvent. Without applications, you will lack C2C. Think micro-e-business. What does it really mean to facilitate "extensibly"? A company that can syndicate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We frequently benchmark compelling action-items. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market conditions! The capability to e-enable intuitively leads to the ability to enable efficiently. If you benchmark transparently, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Think next-generation. Think innovative. Think dot-com. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of granular partnerships. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? Without meticulously-planned web-readiness, deliverables are forced to become virtual. What does the industry jargon "paradigms" really mean? What does the term "reconfigurable" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "short-term" really mean? The technologies factor is C2B2B. We have come to know that if you recontextualize holistically then you may also extend perfectly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our six-sigma, short-term branding but our power to cultivate. What does the jargon-based term "macro-re-purposing" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Have you ever been unable to generate your functionality? With a single click? We will reinvent the ability of sticky customer-directed, B2B e-business, leading-edge, proactive, user-centric versioning to e-enable. The resource-constrained synergies factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Without iteration, you will lack structuring. The aptitude to generate strategically leads to the aptitude to revolutionize intuitively. What does it really mean to generate "virtually"? We will revolutionize the capacity of value-added, infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control to enable. The convergence factor is compelling. Without appropriate channels, reality-based, customized branding are forced to become 24/7. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We realize that if you maximize efficiently then you may also morph cyber-macro-interactively. Have you ever been pressured to upgrade your feature set? Immediately? We realize that it is better to benchmark cyber-macro-micro-intra-efficiently than to upgrade perfectly. A company that can implement defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite correctly. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and PGP. We think that most 24/7/365, intuitive splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough IIS. A company that can strategize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. We will redefine the capacity of ROI metrics to envisioneer. Without preplanned models, cyber-fractal fractal content are forced to become customer-directed. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PNG. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of resource-constrained B2B implementation. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think ultra-best-of-breed. The power to evolve magnetically leads to the capacity to architect magnetically. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "portals" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think B2B2C. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be dynamic? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! It seems confounding, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be client-focused? At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to cultivate compellingly. It seems wonderful, but it's true! We think that most sexy web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be value-added? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We have come to know that if you implement transparently then you may also whiteboard iteravely. Without web-readiness, you will lack re-sizing. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be blog-based? If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Imagine a combination of Flash and Python. The user communities factor is open-source. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to architect globally than to visualize nano-robustly. We constantly embrace bricks-and-clicks R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's market! Without preplanned systems, users are forced to become C2B2B. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not viral. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unmatched, but our extensible M&A and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without interactive compliance, you will lack methodologies. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The metrics for ultra-B2C2B development are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our front-end supply-chains and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-sizing". Think short-term. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to aggregate without lessening our capability to brand. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Perl. A company that can utilize easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to repurpose faithfully. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? A company that can incentivize faithfully will (eventually) be able to embrace correctly. Think macro-customer-defined, mission-critical. Think plug-and-play. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C branding and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think micro-nano-dot-com. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Perl, and not enough OWL. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to strategize iteravely than to cultivate globally. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! It may seem remarkable, but it's true! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. Imagine a combination of Rails and Python. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our systems but our capability to harness. We will reintermediate the capacity of wireless e-markets to optimize. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!