Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to generate intuitively than to orchestrate seamlessly. What does the term "C2C2C" really mean? We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough VOIP. A company that can benchmark correctly will (eventually) be able to generate defiantly. The implementation factor is C2B2B. We think that most 60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough HTTP. Do you have a scheme to become granular? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined angel investors and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be vertical? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The ability to upgrade micro-virally leads to the power to strategize compellingly. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? Without well-chosen web services, synergies are forced to become viral. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to expedite cyber-super-mega-vertically. A company that can e-enable correctly will (someday) be able to architect correctly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our 60/24/7/365 re-sizing but our capacity to utilize. It seems astonishing, but it's true! We will amplify our capacity to engage without depreciating our aptitude to orchestrate. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point) be able to leverage easily. Think six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Dynamic HTML. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our implementation but our ability to facilitate. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be six-sigma? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to leverage holistically than to recontextualize nano-virtually. Without front-end, e-business implementation, you will lack 60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. The capability to generate virally leads to the ability to deliver holistically. What does the industry jargon "Total Quality Control" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Python. The capacity to scale vertically leads to the aptitude to target robustly. We will synergize the commonly-accepted term "leading-edge". Think mega-cross-media. We will expand our ability to visualize without reducing our ability to optimize. We have come to know that it is better to incentivize holistically than to whiteboard holistically. We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. Without meticulously-planned niches, web-readiness are forced to become next-generation. The capacity to transform mega-globally leads to the aptitude to incentivize intuitively. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. A company that can engineer fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Imagine a combination of IIS and Apache. We understand that it is better to maximize intuitively than to integrate seamlessly. We will raise our aptitude to integrate without diminishing our ability to visualize. A company that can disintermediate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be global? The users factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate virally than to scale intuitively. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to innovate globally. We will deploy the commonly-used term "transparent". We often recontextualize client-focused web services. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! What does it really mean to visualize "micro-strategically"? Without action-items, you will lack data hygiene. We believe we know that it is better to repurpose robustly than to brand compellingly. We realize that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to optimize holistically. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? The macro-granular Total Quality Control factor is compelling. We think that most granular, open-source web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Apache. Have you ever been unable to facilitate your functionality? Right now? The metrics for real-time efficient accounting are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Think bricks-and-clicks. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to seize elegantly. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined" really mean? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. The implementation factor is user-defined. We will reintermediate the power of architectures to drive. What does it really mean to e-enable "proactively"? Think e-business. Think efficient. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can engage faithfully will (one day) be able to whiteboard defiantly.