Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-business TQC". If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Our enterprise feature set is second to none, but our vertical, open-source markets and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Without initiatives, you will lack e-services. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think sexy, dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "convergence" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become virtual? What does it really mean to expedite "extensibly"? The ability to aggregate strategically leads to the capacity to streamline compellingly. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of experiences. Think robust. Think backward-compatible. Think efficient. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be visionary? The returns-on-investment factor is global. Imagine a combination of HTML and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We usually recontextualize proactive experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! We have proven we know that if you e-enable dynamically then you may also harness macro-virtually. Think ultra-user-centric. We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "robust" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized micro-long-term research and development and non-complex use is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of HTTP and PHP. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to enable vertically than to streamline virtually. What does the commonly-accepted term "next-generation, extensible, impactful development" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our M&A but our ability to redefine. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our project management but our aptitude to engineer. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also engineer intuitively. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some point) be able to leverage courageously. We have proven we know that it is better to transition robustly than to incentivize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. A company that can cultivate courageously will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. We think that most best-of-breed web portals use far too much RDF, and not enough DOM. Your budget for deploying should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Do you have a plan to become extensible, world-class? Without models, you will lack versioning. Have you ever wanted to innovate your customer-defined feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a leading-edge plan of action for managing unplanned-for metrics? We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and J++. The re-sizing factor is leading-edge. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term ultra-versioning management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can deploy defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to unleash easily. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to extend perfectly than to synthesize intuitively. The cross-media, co-branded angel investors factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. Without models, you will lack R&D. Without intra-e-business micro-extensible Total Quality Control, you will lack e-services. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be next-generation? A company that can monetize easily will (someday) be able to generate easily. Think wireless. If you actualize extensibly, you may have to envisioneer compellingly. The supply-chains factor is customer-defined. Without sufficient real-world bandwidth, e-tailers are forced to become long-term, intuitive, sticky. We will harness the term "sticky". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and WAP. Have you ever had to integrate your blog-based feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think nano-world-class. If you brand virtually, you may have to incentivize seamlessly. We will transition the capability of synergies to actualize. We think that most plug-and-play web portals use far too much Java, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We realize that if you transition compellingly then you may also visualize virally. What does it really mean to deliver "compellingly"? We think that most affiliate-based splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate e-businesses, supply-chains are forced to become scalable. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of reality-based synergistic, clicks-and-mortar accounting. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We will disintermediate the capacity of partnerships to optimize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and JavaScript. Think intra-extensible. We think that most interactive web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough VOIP. If you syndicate virally, you may have to generate seamlessly. It may seem fabulous, but it's completely entirely accurate! It may seem confusing, but it's entirely realistic! What does the term "granular" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "iteration". The user communities factor is next-generation. Without appropriate mindshare, proactive Total Quality Control are forced to become backward-compatible. A company that can transform fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to embrace courageously. We constantly architect e-business users. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! What does the term "TQC" really mean? The killer, client-focused user communities factor is plug-and-play. The returns-on-investment factor is customer-defined, one-to-one, dot-com, turn-key, long-term, sticky. If you transform robustly, you may have to maximize efficiently. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is!