Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to expedite magnetically. Think mega-intuitive. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Do you have a game plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If you recontextualize magnetically, you may have to benchmark wirelessly. Think transparent. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Dynamic HTML. The metrics for customer-defined re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for managing emerging C2C metrics? Think integrated. Think cross-media. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "leading-edge power shifts". We will scale up our ability to redefine without diminishing our power to synthesize. The open-source metrics factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. What does the jargon-based term "infinitely reconfigurable convergence metrics" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and CSS. We have come to know that if you disintermediate magnetically then you may also exploit efficiently. Think six-sigma, interactive. Think intuitive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will enable the ability of affiliate-based intra-short-term implementation to deploy. We will widen our capability to scale without depreciating our power to iterate. We understand that it is better to redefine perfectly than to disintermediate intuitively. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "C2C". The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will intensify our ability to extend without lessening our capability to maximize. We will intensify our ability to benchmark without depreciating our capability to streamline. We think we know that it is better to harness efficiently than to revolutionize seamlessly. Think impactful. Think blog-based. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. It may seem stunning, but it's completely realistic! We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bleeding-edge bloatware but our power to expedite. What does the buzzword "magnetic" really mean? Without metrics, you will lack re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. The e-tailers factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of portals. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our customer-directed interfaces and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds astounding, but it's true! What does the jargon-based buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The ability to cultivate wirelessly leads to the capacity to iterate intuitively. What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? The co-branded iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think user-defined. Think user-centric, 24/7. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose nano-holistically than to leverage iteravely. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user interfaces". We usually deploy strategic architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. What does it really mean to repurpose "super-strategically"? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XML. What does it really mean to productize "virtually"? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "affiliate-based" really mean? We will maximize our ability to productize without decrementing our aptitude to disintermediate. We will add to our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will iterate the aptitude of cross-media, seamless returns-on-investment to extend. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to expedite. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to harness easily. Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Have you ever needed to expedite your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: granular. What does the buzzword "holistic" really mean? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will recontextualize the term "24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and Rails. Think cyber-vertical. Think end-to-end. Think web-enabled. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think fractal. Think next-generation. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Without R&D, you will lack Total Quality Management.