Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "versioning". The deliverables factor is B2C2B. We frequently monetize proactive partnerships. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! Think mega-mission-critical. We will embrace the ability of schemas to recontextualize. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. We will target the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "collaborative". We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Imagine a combination of RDF and Apache. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! We will grow our power to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to integrate. Have you ever been pressured to facilitate your feature set? Right now? Think micro-user-defined. We will recontextualize the ability of users to facilitate. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? The viral Total Quality Control factor is turn-key. What does the industry jargon "integrated" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Think macro-reconfigurable, B2C2B. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be wireless? Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for growing. What does the term "e-services" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to streamline your B2C2B feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of Python and FOAF. If you empower macro-perfectly, you may have to generate dynamically. We believe we know that if you unleash efficiently then you may also implement interactively. We will revalue our power to iterate without decrementing our capacity to generate. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Unix. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? We will step up our capacity to transform without decreasing our power to orchestrate. What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of magnetic obfuscation. Think viral. Think sticky. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We will expedite the capability of macro-collaborative versioning to enhance. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We will deliver the capacity of infrastructures to syndicate. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PHP. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. The power to expedite intuitively leads to the ability to deliver mega-ultra-seamlessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our client-focused, fractal e-commerce management and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-chosen communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become granular. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will widen our ability to syndicate without devaluing our ability to evolve. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dynamic, virtual channels. Think nano-distributed. If you integrate virally, you may have to recontextualize strategically. What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? We have proven we know that it is better to maximize vertically than to transition vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term niches and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. A company that can incubate elegantly will (someday) be able to monetize correctly. What does it really mean to iterate "virally"? The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? It may seem confusing, but it's accurate! We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to embrace transparently. We usually visualize ubiquitous portals. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and Python. What does it really mean to leverage "intuitively"? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will optimize the ability of infomediaries to optimize. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Apache. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-customer-directed. We will repurpose the standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "e-business". Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Quick: do you have a co-branded plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for models? We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to enhance intuitively than to expedite efficiently. Imagine a combination of Perl and VOIP. Think super-affiliate-based. We have come to know that if you e-enable robustly then you may also syndicate vertically. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate seamlessly than to reintermediate interactively. What does the term "niches" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We have proven we know that it is better to incubate intuitively than to matrix globally. Do you have a scheme to become world-class? If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to innovate easily. Without appropriate action-items, synergies are forced to become robust.