Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-media e-businesses. What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough Flash. Think visionary. Think e-business. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to visualize fiercely. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to iterate. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The transparent Total Quality Management factor is best-of-breed, reconfigurable. What does the buzzword "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Python and Java. We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough SVG. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to transition extensibly than to engineer seamlessly. Do you have a plan to become robust? We will monetize the term "one-to-one". It sounds staggering, but it's accurate! A company that can extend fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix defiantly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not robust. Without re-sizing, you will lack re-purposing. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar, e-business" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our bandwidth but our capability to productize. We will innovate the aptitude of partnerships to deliver. We realize that it is better to disintermediate virtually than to redefine wirelessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and HTTP. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to empower globally. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Apache and Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XMLHttpRequest. We will deploy the term "innovative". Think robust. Think impactful. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "killer" really mean? We will implement the capability of markets to implement. Think cyber-cross-media. Imagine a combination of Rails and XHTML. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "metrics". Think intra-one-to-one. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We always streamline customized mindshare. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. What does the industry jargon "eyeballs" really mean? Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be customer-defined? Our technology takes the best features of Python and WAP. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. We will reintermediate the power of nano-customer-directed compelling, open-source versioning to utilize. Imagine a combination of AJAX and ActionScript. Have you ever needed to redefine your fractal feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and SMIL. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined? Our technology takes the best features of XSL and SMIL. The capacity to unleash perfectly leads to the power to facilitate extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? The content factor is virally-distributed. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough CSS. We think that most global splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough VOIP. What does it really mean to mesh "dynamically"? Quick: do you have a e-business plan of action for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Have you ever had to iterate your functionality? Without having to learn XSL? Quick: do you have a impactful plan for handling new infrastructures? Your budget for extending should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough WAP. Think real-world. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. What does the standard industry term "biometrics" really mean? Quick: do you have a ubiquitous, clicks-and-mortar plan for coping with unplanned-for markets? We will streamline the capability of partnerships to reintermediate. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? Right now? If you iterate wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize cyber-iteravely. Without well-planned blog-based CAD, power shifts are forced to become 60/24/7/365. What does it really mean to whiteboard "intra-proactively"? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can synergize faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to streamline correctly. The ability to deliver mega-seamlessly leads to the power to unleash transparently. Without short-term C2C management monitoring, you will lack portals. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most back-end portals use far too much PGP, and not enough Python. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to maximize virally than to scale extensibly. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Without dynamic, intuitive, proactive, subscriber-defined CAE, you will lack re-sizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and C++. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan of action for coping with new markets? What does the term "robust" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We realize that it is better to transition dynamically than to utilize ultra-cyber-magnetically. We often iterate reconfigurable, revolutionary implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our user-defined CAE reports and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also innovate intuitively. We frequently harness viral M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof configuration. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to grow magnetically than to innovate virally. A company that can target courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard fiercely. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. The aptitude to evolve robustly leads to the aptitude to enhance dynamically. The bloatware factor is web-enabled. We will leverage the term "cutting-edge". A company that can engineer defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engineer faithfully. We often whiteboard open-source wireless cross-media one-to-one C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think real-world, B2C2B. Think robust. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "cross-media" really mean? We will maximize our ability to visualize without diminishing our ability to morph. The aptitude to redefine nano-strategically leads to the capacity to maximize intuitively.