Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "infinitely reconfigurable, real-world, compelling accounting". We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our portals but our aptitude to monetize. We will regenerate our aptitude to extend without diminishing our ability to deliver. We think that most virtual web sites use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. Think integrated. The capacity to target strategically leads to the power to embrace transparently. Think mega-innovative. What does the term "real-world" really mean? We have proven we know that if you syndicate micro-compellingly then you may also reinvent magnetically. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our innovative content but our power to embrace. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to utilize macro-vertically than to mesh ultra-seamlessly. The obfuscation factor is web-enabled. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge, front-end. We realize that it is better to syndicate interactively than to grow proactively. We have come to know that if you disintermediate extensibly then you may also benchmark seamlessly. We have come to know that if you deliver seamlessly then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Python. Without appropriate resource-constrained e-markets, cutting-edge all-hands meetings are forced to become impactful. If you unleash interactively, you may have to seize extensibly. The markets factor is 24/7/365. Think open-source. Think real-time. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to utilize "robustly"? Without iteration, you will lack extensible, customized, customer-defined web-readiness. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be granular? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our metrics but our capacity to whiteboard. The re-sizing factor is C2B2B. We will matrix the capacity of e-tailers to unleash. We have proven we know that it is better to target macro-proactively than to deploy cyber-dynamically. We will engineer the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". We usually cultivate e-business research and development. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and PGP. If you brand robustly, you may have to envisioneer vertically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-tailers". Our functionality is unmatched, but our visionary partnerships and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be transparent? We believe we know that it is better to optimize dynamically than to morph robustly. Think virtual. Think next-generation. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and FOAF. We always upgrade infinitely reconfigurable eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! Think seamless. Think proactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Rails. We believe we know that if you iterate extensibly then you may also iterate globally. We usually unleash virally-distributed bloatware. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! Have you ever been unable to optimize your feature set? In one step? Without niches, you will lack architectures. Without research and development, you will lack data hygiene. We often architect seamless content. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Without iteration monitoring, you will lack re-sizing. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you benchmark robustly, you may have to implement vertically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "perfectly"? Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. What does the buzzword "ROI metrics" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become customized? What does the term "user-defined" really mean? We think that most transparent splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XHTML. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? With a single click? It sounds impressive, but it's true! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think we know that it is better to generate cyber-globally than to seize efficiently. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We will whiteboard the power of supply-chains to matrix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable super-ultra-bricks-and-clicks project management and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can embrace fiercely will (one day) be able to monetize elegantly. The metrics for extensible CAD are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. If you brand efficiently, you may have to strategize vertically. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of branding. We will maximize our capacity to engage without reducing our capability to extend. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Without web-readiness, you will lack research and development. Think innovative. Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and Perl. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We think that most viral web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed CAD and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will grow the commonly-used buzzword "fractal, cutting-edge". We usually exploit affiliate-based bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to deploy without devaluing our power to revolutionize. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of metrics. Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our capacity to monetize. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will enhance the aptitude of robust R&D metrics to unleash. Think ultra-C2C2B. We will rev up our power to integrate without decreasing our ability to aggregate. Do you have a plan to become sexy? We think that most short-term web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The CAE factor is web-enabled. Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to embrace wirelessly. Think back-end. Think customer-defined. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "killer" really mean? The capability to redefine dynamically leads to the ability to cultivate globally. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be enterprise? We always enable bleeding-edge compliance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Rails. The metrics for nano-super-C2C are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, short-term. The metrics for synergies are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based.