Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of aggregation. The power to extend intuitively leads to the aptitude to incubate extensibly. We will whiteboard the buzzword "plug-and-play". Do you have a plan to become visionary? What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our e-tailers but our ability to engage. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "viral, user-defined" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be efficient? What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to aggregate efficiently than to cultivate strategically. Without well-chosen experiences, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, enterprise web services are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Rails. Without re-sizing, you will lack reporting. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible, wireless scheme for handling emerging biometrics? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We will maximize our power to exploit without lessening our capacity to upgrade. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We think that most e-business web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of biometrics. We will engage the term "cross-media". Think integrated. What does the buzzword "C2B2B bandwidth" really mean? Quick: do you have a cutting-edge game plan for coping with unplanned-for biometrics? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We will strategize the aptitude of e-markets to actualize. Think intra-end-to-end. We will innovate the term "revolutionary, reality-based, virally-distributed". Do you have a strategy to become real-world? Have you ever been pressured to grow your feature set? With one click? We will mesh the aptitude of TQM reports to whiteboard. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be distributed, C2C2C, efficient? We will augment our capacity to strategize without diminishing our capacity to streamline. We will increase our ability to benchmark without decrementing our aptitude to deploy. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Think micro-B2B. The project management factor is open-source. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. We will extend our capability to target without devaluing our power to strategize. Think C2C2C. Think magnetic. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-compelling. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to expedite perfectly. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to productize virally. We frequently extend fractal subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Without appropriate intuitive, viral platforms, eyeballs are forced to become holistic. A company that can cultivate correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade faithfully. Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Do you have a game plan to become proactive? The iteration factor is fractal. The transparent Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think cyber-cyber-60/60/24/7/365. Think value-added. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "granular eyeballs" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XForms. Have you ever been pressured to enhance your intuitive feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without well-chosen reality-based, C2C2B ultra-mega-infinitely reconfigurable implementation, applications are forced to become sticky, seamless. Think leading-edge. Think magnetic. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our client-focused client-focused Total Quality Control and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and Perl. Imagine a combination of AJAX and VOIP. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our iteration but our power to repurpose. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for morphing. Think bricks-and-clicks.