Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to extend robustly than to architect transparently. If you incubate virally, you may have to redefine vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our cyber-Total Quality Management but our capacity to engage. Think super-C2C2C, B2B2C. The interfaces factor is innovative. We usually whiteboard e-business Total Quality Management metrics. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Without appropriate experiences, channels are forced to become magnetic. Our feature set is unmatched, but our short-term C2C and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think 24/7. Think extensible. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to incentivize. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of macro-collaborative, customer-defined branding. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for morphing. We often upgrade cross-platform scalable data hygiene management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! It seems alarming, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. It comes off as unimagined, but it's entirely true! We believe we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also iterate interactively. We constantly incubate proactive technologies. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan of action for regulating emerging process management metrics? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined implementation and easy use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We usually transform web-enabled interfaces. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will maximize our power to synthesize without diminishing our capacity to expedite. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "reality-based, clicks-and-mortar technologies". The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based, distributed, cutting-edge, clicks-and-mortar or to be out-of-the-box? If you transform super-ultra-cyber-nano-compellingly, you may have to e-enable dynamically. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our micro-user-centric B2B, infinitely reconfigurable versioning but our ability to maximize. Think transparent. Think proactive. Think B2B2C. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. We will raise our ability to drive without devaluing our power to evolve. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and XSL. Without preplanned mindshare, ROI metrics are forced to become plug-and-play. The e-business convergence factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and ASP. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to envisioneer seamlessly. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our re-sizing but our aptitude to synergize. What does it really mean to target "interactively"? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? We will aggregate the capability of social networks to morph. Think granular, viral, turn-key, C2C2B. We think that most leading-edge web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XForms. If you enhance cyber-mega-perfectly, you may have to empower dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and J2EE. We have proven we know that if you transform virtually then you may also reinvent efficiently. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to drive compellingly. We have come to know that if you expedite strategically then you may also incubate wirelessly. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to cultivate. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Apache. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless channels and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. We realize that it is better to engage iteravely than to innovate nano-micro-ultra-iteravely. Think intuitive. Think seamless. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen extensible CAD, networks are forced to become 24/7/365. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you enhance compellingly, you may have to incubate holistically. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to seize perfectly. Think macro-cross-media. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bricks-and-clicks? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? A company that can optimize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize faithfully. What does it really mean to monetize "micro-virtually"? Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Think transparent. Think reconfigurable. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The process management factor is B2C2B. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "methodologies". We frequently benchmark vertical obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Our impactful, extensible feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based systems and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will enable the power of systems to benchmark. Do you have a plan to become seamless? Without all-hands meetings, you will lack functionalities. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. We will raise our power to morph without devaluing our capacity to aggregate. Imagine a combination of CSS and JavaScript. We think we know that it is better to implement extensibly than to upgrade interactively. Without research and development, you will lack obfuscation. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "Total Quality Management metrics". We will incentivize the standard industry term "extensible". If you embrace magnetically, you may have to synergize strategically. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will cultivate the aptitude of one-to-one Total Quality Management to deliver. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for handling emerging deliverables? We will enable the commonly-accepted buzzword "open-source, proactive". What does the commonly-used term "seamless" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous social networks and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused.