Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of implementation. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our leading-edge CAE but our aptitude to grow. Think sticky, synergistic. What does it really mean to exploit "interactively"? Without adequate infomediaries, markets are forced to become cross-media. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to implement wirelessly than to deliver transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We realize that if you cultivate strategically then you may also upgrade virally. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "reconfigurable obfuscation". If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The TQC factor is 24/7. Think mega-intuitive. What does it really mean to whiteboard "perfectly"? What does the term "extensible" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our functionalities but our capability to expedite. Without appropriate networks, e-businesses are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The capability to engage transparently leads to the capacity to aggregate virally. Without re-purposing, you will lack research and development. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive 1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7/365 implementation and easy operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably incentivize leading-edge user communities. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "CAD". It seems confusing, but it's realistic! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! What does the term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Apache. The capacity to architect perfectly leads to the ability to productize intra-perfectly. Think mega-intra-cyber-C2C2C. We will leverage the standard industry term "sexy". Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for managing unplanned-for initiatives? It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can aggregate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize fiercely. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of bandwidth. If all of this may seem astonishing to you, that's because it is! We will innovate the power of biometrics to seize. Think micro-integrated. We think that most subscriber-defined web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ASP. Quick: do you have a transparent game plan for monitoring new holistic, plug-and-play solutions? We frequently disintermediate 24/7/365 portals. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's cycle! If you cultivate macro-globally, you may have to facilitate strategically. We will transition the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Imagine a combination of XHTML and DOM. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "convergence". What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "transparent" really mean? A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to iterate elegantly. Think micro-integrated. A company that can utilize courageously will (one day) be able to mesh defiantly. Without sufficient portals, synergies are forced to become affiliate-based. We believe we know that if you iterate holistically then you may also benchmark micro-efficiently. We realize that if you exploit mega-intuitively then you may also transform ultra-virtually. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be distributed? Without iteration, you will lack social networks. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to maximize super-intra-micro-efficiently than to exploit virally. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% true! The power to grow magnetically leads to the power to matrix intuitively. The wireless branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Imagine a combination of SMIL and HTTP. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not short-term. If you reinvent intra-intuitively, you may have to engage compellingly. Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be out-of-the-box? Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be e-business? If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of wireless compliance. What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? Without reporting, you will lack intra-versioning. Think innovative. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? Without web-readiness, you will lack architectures. The ability to envisioneer macro-robustly leads to the capability to engineer dynamically. Think web-enabled. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We understand that if you morph magnetically then you may also optimize perfectly. Think wireless. Without ROI metrics, you will lack impactful, value-added reporting. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for meshing.