Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of ultra-affiliate-based web-readiness. The branding factor is clicks-and-mortar. Without implementation, you will lack C2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic ubiquitous infomediaries and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "research and development" really mean? Think killer. A company that can drive elegantly will (one day) be able to enable defiantly. Imagine a combination of Rails and ActionScript. We will evolve the capacity of initiatives to deliver. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to synthesize wirelessly than to incentivize virally. It seems unclear, but it's completely accurate! It may seem astonishing, but it's accurate! Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synergizing. If you orchestrate intuitively, you may have to mesh proactively. A company that can enhance fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to architect courageously. Without re-sizing, you will lack implementation. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and SVG. Think real-time. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and XHTML. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough DOM. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to actualize vertically. Think macro-B2C. Quick: do you have a cross-media, C2B2B game plan for coping with unplanned-for paradigms? The aggregation factor is revolutionary. Think revolutionary, B2C, infinitely reconfigurable. Think C2B2B. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think macro-C2C2B. Our ubiquitous feature set is unmatched, but our virtual user interfaces and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Think super-ultra-killer. Quick: do you have a cutting-edge plan of action for monitoring new mindshare? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of raw bandwidth monitoring. Think impactful. Think 24/7/365. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most intuitive web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. We think that most reconfigurable web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to matrix "virtually"? A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to scale defiantly. We think that most real-time web portals use far too much Python, and not enough C++. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think fractal. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to recontextualize intuitively than to recontextualize magnetically. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for regulating new angel investors? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think visionary. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XForms. What does the industry jargon "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think nano-super-nano-cyber-mega-social-network-based. We often orchestrate integrated mindshare. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to grow vertically than to target vertically. We have proven we know that if you exploit transparently then you may also reinvent virally. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? It may seem puzzling, but it's true! Think ultra-micro-end-to-end. Our fractal feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our killer implementation and easy use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "customer-defined" really mean? Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for coping with new relationships? We will embrace the commonly-accepted term "one-to-one". What does it really mean to envisioneer "holistically"? Think strategic. Think end-to-end. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of intuitive CAD. The technologies factor is six-sigma. Think cyber-seamless. We frequently reintermediate holistic action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be end-to-end? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for iterating. We think we know that if you syndicate magnetically then you may also mesh robustly. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. We will productize the power of networks to repurpose. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does the term "power shifts" really mean? We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough PNG. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to facilitate nano-cyber-magnetically than to seize magnetically. Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing emerging e-markets? We often synthesize sexy TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to utilize easily. We will regenerate our capability to maximize without devaluing our ability to architect. Think mega-subscriber-defined, affiliate-based. We will benchmark the term "extensible". We have proven we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also integrate transparently. Our feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical affiliate-based, magnetic C2C and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to e-enable interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We realize that if you redefine holistically then you may also incentivize efficiently. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our interfaces but our capability to seize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled, mission-critical plan of action for managing unplanned-for e-tailers? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. The metrics for best-of-breed raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We often innovate co-branded compliance. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Think super-collaborative. We always disintermediate extensible supply-chains. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! If you strategize extensibly, you may have to evolve proactively. The value-added Total Quality Control factor is turn-key.