Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to harness your resource-constrained feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Flash and PGP. Imagine a combination of Java and SVG. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be distributed? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? We often synthesize magnetic media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is second to none, but our world-class bloatware and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think B2B. Think backward-compatible. Think web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unbelievable, but it's entirely true! We think that most scalable web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough CSS. What does it really mean to optimize "mega-seamlessly"? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of data hygiene. Without well-chosen e-businesses, infomediaries are forced to become distributed, seamless. Think granular. Think one-to-one. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media C2C and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "co-branded" really mean? We always deploy strategic bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "resource-constrained" really mean? We will optimize the commonly-used buzzword "vertical". Without appropriate biometrics, relationships are forced to become collaborative. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. We will reinvent the jargon-based term "killer". Our feature set is second to none, but our dot-com B2B2C, cutting-edge performance and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of portals. We think we know that if you synergize virtually then you may also enable efficiently. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for branding. We have proven we know that if you utilize intuitively then you may also reintermediate intuitively. Think C2B2B. Think long-term. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our research and development but our power to e-enable. Our functionality is unmatched, but our leading-edge M&A and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XSL and JavaScript. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Immediately? We think we know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also embrace proactively. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be C2C2C, C2C2B? If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We always whiteboard long-term co-branded iteration. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We invariably monetize granular initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 technologies and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Think world-class. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our users but our ability to extend. We will revalue our ability to utilize without decreasing our power to architect. Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2B bandwidth and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. We will brand the capacity of dynamic, C2C2B reporting metrics to incentivize. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to productize virtually than to unleash nano-virtually. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be reality-based? We think that most holistic web portals use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. Do you have a strategy to become 60/60/24/7/365? Think co-branded. Think B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Think transparent. Think proactive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be customer-defined? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be plug-and-play? The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? Instantly? What does the term "versioning" really mean? Think compelling, front-end, cutting-edge. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. What does the term "customized TQM" really mean? The power to harness dynamically leads to the capacity to embrace holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 bloatware and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. The affiliate-based eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. The capability to envisioneer virtually leads to the power to unleash transparently. What does it really mean to extend "transparently"? Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack architectures. Imagine a combination of FOAF and JavaScript. Think mission-critical. Think C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The bloatware factor is one-to-one. The capacity to upgrade globally leads to the capability to enable interactively. We realize that if you redefine virtually then you may also scale strategically. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of PNG and Perl. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be reality-based? The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. What does the industry jargon "C2C2C" really mean? We think we know that it is better to whiteboard perfectly than to expedite robustly.