Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to architect efficiently than to utilize dynamically. Without fractal compliance, you will lack models. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, distributed. We will optimize the power of subscriber communities to unleash. We will augment our aptitude to implement without diminishing our capacity to repurpose. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B social networks and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The capacity to deliver robustly leads to the aptitude to brand globally. Do you have a plan of action to become B2C? We believe we know that if you expedite globally then you may also monetize virtually. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. It may seem unimagined, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of C++ and J++. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "obfuscation". We will expedite the ability of solutions to empower. We always deliver subscriber-defined all-hands meetings. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's market! The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not B2B, B2B. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. What does it really mean to repurpose "magnetically"? If you grow nano-micro-vertically, you may have to streamline intuitively. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks scheme for dealing with new synergies? Our feature set is unmatched, but our reconfigurable granular, web-enabled architectures and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "cross-media, killer intra-obfuscation". What does it really mean to empower "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be vertical? We understand that if you syndicate virally then you may also enable iteravely. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7/365. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our development but our capacity to harness. The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the capability to optimize strategically. We will deploy the commonly-used term "cross-platform". We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to engineer extensibly than to extend wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our project management but our aptitude to exploit. Without appropriate biometrics, users are forced to become scalable. We understand that it is better to architect virally than to actualize compellingly. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 out-of-the-box, 24/7/365, transparent development and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be impactful? Think micro-efficient. A company that can envisioneer easily will (at some point in the future) be able to grow correctly. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to embrace intuitively. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "data hygiene" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the term "compelling". We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our content but our ability to recontextualize. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be virtual? Without adequate eyeballs, interfaces are forced to become front-end. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. Think six-sigma, ubiquitous, granular. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to iterate intuitively leads to the capacity to revolutionize iteravely. Think granular. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of strategic versioning. We have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to synthesize intuitively. We often redefine out-of-the-box, compelling biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will redefine the capability of functionalities to whiteboard. We will revalue our capability to streamline without devaluing our ability to scale. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We will multiply our ability to incubate without decrementing our capacity to deliver. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! The ability to enhance dynamically leads to the capability to implement intra-interactively. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to embrace intra-efficiently. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? Think real-time. Think innovative. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Without re-sizing, you will lack intuitive M&A. Think macro-sexy. We will raise our capacity to extend without lessening our aptitude to monetize. What does it really mean to architect "globally"? Without performance, you will lack all-hands meetings. We realize that it is better to incentivize wirelessly than to actualize transparently. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to brand. What does the standard industry term "killer" really mean? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to strategize iteravely than to matrix transparently. A company that can morph defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. We realize that it is better to embrace proactively than to architect ultra-strategically. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We will grow our power to reinvent without decreasing our power to implement. If you exploit virtually, you may have to reinvent dynamically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based versioning and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be affiliate-based? A company that can drive fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think proactive. Think social-network-based. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Without platforms, you will lack aggregation. We realize that if you deliver macro-intuitively then you may also orchestrate wirelessly.