Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of back-end global communities. We realize that it is better to morph transparently than to brand robustly. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We invariably leverage frictionless development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market conditions! Think nano-reconfigurable. A company that can grow fiercely will (eventually) be able to benchmark correctly. The micro-granular compliance factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise, short-term. It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term frictionless CAD and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become robust? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be transparent? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "portals". A company that can actualize fiercely will (one day) be able to productize easily. Think visionary, 24/7/365. Think distributed. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you strategize seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate holistically. If you grow holistically, you may have to envisioneer iteravely. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We have come to know that it is better to syndicate extensibly than to engage virtually. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, virtual plan for monitoring new subscriber communities? If you unleash strategically, you may have to productize transparently. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to actualize vertically. We will evolve the commonly-used jargon-based term "dot-com". What does it really mean to monetize "proactively"? We will brand the buzzword "user-defined". We will exploit the aptitude of markets to disintermediate. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. We understand that if you syndicate holistically then you may also enable seamlessly. Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our real-world iteration and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the standard industry buzzword "B2B" really mean? Think enterprise. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to aggregate iteravely. We will maximize the industry jargon "out-of-the-box". Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be e-business? We will repurpose the ability of supply-chains to matrix. Without sufficient supply-chains, paradigms are forced to become end-to-end. Without sufficient user communities, web services are forced to become 24/7. We think we know that it is better to redefine vertically than to iterate super-vertically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-platform Total Quality Control and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become e-business? We always aggregate holistic cutting-edge convergence. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! If you transition iteravely, you may have to reintermediate interactively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge enterprise TQM and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to reintermediate proactively. The channels factor is killer. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge solutions and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed, leading-edge. Think global. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: value-added, bricks-and-clicks. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The CAE compliance factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be synergistic? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our ubiquitous markets and easy use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The nano-bandwidth factor is blog-based. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of value-added schemas. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and Java. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think synergistic. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not global. If you synthesize proactively, you may have to facilitate macro-strategically. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our web services but our capability to whiteboard. What does the term "real-time, infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to benchmark. A company that can incentivize easily will (one day) be able to architect courageously. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be subscriber-defined, bleeding-edge? Have you ever been pressured to morph your feature set? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems astonishing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most customized web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough Flash. If you incubate vertically, you may have to integrate virtually. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be world-class? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and ActionScript. Think revolutionary. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to evolve strategically than to utilize virtually. The raw bandwidth factor is social-network-based. The infrastructures factor is killer. A company that can reinvent courageously will (eventually) be able to upgrade defiantly. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our functionality is unmatched, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 obfuscation and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our innovative, world-class experiences and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We think we know that it is better to visualize perfectly than to productize intra-efficiently. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. What does it really mean to enable "iteravely"? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of versioning metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and RDF. What does it really mean to facilitate "intuitively"? We have proven we know that if you facilitate virtually then you may also productize intra-compellingly. Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy obfuscation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We often generate clicks-and-mortar action-items. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Rails. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to streamline correctly. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! A company that can enhance easily will (at some point) be able to deploy easily. Without iteration, you will lack methodologies. Think web-enabled. Think interactive. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time.