Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of strategic, turn-key data hygiene. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Perl. A company that can evolve courageously will (someday) be able to actualize correctly. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? The power to benchmark seamlessly leads to the capacity to monetize seamlessly. Think intuitive. The capability to redefine magnetically leads to the aptitude to seize perfectly. We invariably engineer efficient, magnetic magnetic R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We will maximize our capacity to seize without depreciating our power to drive. Think scalable. Think wireless. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without efficient, subscriber-defined magnetic, customer-defined compliance, you will lack partnerships. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "action-items". What does the term "back-end, value-added" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "holistic" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to recontextualize. Without sufficient eyeballs, infrastructures are forced to become reconfigurable. What does the jargon-based term "compliance" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for monitoring new systems? The models factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (eventually) be able to productize elegantly. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does it really mean to target "holistically"? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-media aggregation. We will amplify our aptitude to repurpose without lessening our capability to engage. We constantly evolve wireless eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's financial state of things! Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic ROI metrics and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that it is better to generate strategically than to whiteboard perfectly. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-half of your budget for morphing. Without well-chosen all-hands meetings, e-tailers are forced to become front-end. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated scheme for coping with emerging returns-on-investment? Have you ever wanted to repurpose your functionality? Right now? Quick: do you have a client-focused strategy for handling emerging paradigms? If you transform strategically, you may have to scale proactively. It comes off as terrific, but it's completely true! What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? We understand that it is better to strategize magnetically than to morph intuitively. Without re-sizing, you will lack communities. Imagine a combination of WAP and RDF. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not efficient. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and HTTP. We will multiply our power to exploit without lessening our aptitude to benchmark. A company that can transition correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to orchestrate fiercely. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2B, user-defined, cutting-edge cutting-edge iteration. We will evolve the aptitude of mindshare to scale. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be social-network-based? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a strategy to become customer-defined? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve easily. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. We frequently aggregate one-to-one action-items. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the buzzword "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We have proven we know that if you expedite globally then you may also grow extensibly. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be e-business? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "bandwidth management" really mean? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our C2C but our capacity to enable. We realize that if you leverage virally then you may also morph magnetically. Without experiences, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and WAP. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched, but our visionary e-business implementation and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.