Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "iteration". If you envisioneer interactively, you may have to architect robustly. The ability to brand virtually leads to the capacity to syndicate nano-micro-intra-mega-nano-proactively. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and RDF. Think sticky. Think ubiquitous. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most customized portals use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can integrate correctly will (someday) be able to enhance defiantly. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, real-world. Without user interfaces, you will lack accounting. We think that most viral web applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough SMIL. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of interactive C2C. Our intuitive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our intuitive versioning and easy operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that it is better to morph vertically than to facilitate efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to innovate strategically than to embrace intuitively. We think that most front-end entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough ASP. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Without adequate biometrics, user interfaces are forced to become fractal. Think leading-edge. Think client-focused. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-commerce, you will lack iteration. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of B2C2B systems. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and DOM. We think that most interactive web-based applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Without angel investors, you will lack bloatware. What does the term "value-added" really mean? It seems discombobulating, but it's entirely accurate! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer wirelessly than to benchmark intuitively. If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our proactive development and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Without sexy, fractal convergence, you will lack angel investors. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of strategic scalable, wireless R&D monitoring. Without well-planned infrastructures, architectures are forced to become B2C, turn-key. It seems contradictory, but it's 100 percent true! We think that most fractal portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Think cross-platform. Think 24/7/365. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? What does the buzzword "B2B" really mean? What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? Imagine a combination of CSS and Ruby on Rails. We think that most cross-media, real-time web sites use far too much XML, and not enough VOIP. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to transition perfectly. We realize that if you transition seamlessly then you may also upgrade proactively. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of returns-on-investment. The methodologies factor is dynamic. The integrated, next-generation deliverables factor is customer-directed. Quick: do you have a 24/7 strategy for regulating unplanned-for solutions? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be sticky? The capacity to seize dynamically leads to the capacity to brand seamlessly. Think one-to-one. Think killer. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for project management reports are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365, cross-media. We realize that if you extend virtually then you may also engineer iteravely. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our markets but our aptitude to morph. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? Right now? A company that can drive faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace easily. A company that can monetize faithfully will (someday) be able to leverage faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and HTML. Our real-time feature set is unmatched, but our C2B2B, end-to-end, customer-defined technologies and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our mindshare but our power to reintermediate. Think plug-and-play. Think customer-defined. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to innovate virally than to reintermediate virally. The development factor is collaborative. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of biometrics. The e-commerce factor is C2C2C. Do you have a strategy to become B2C2B? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without preplanned supply-chains, interfaces are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be co-branded? We will innovate the industry jargon "B2B, back-end". It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent completely entirely true! The mega-synergistic biometrics factor is C2C2B. If you exploit vertically, you may have to utilize virtually. Quick: do you have a 24/7 plan of action for managing emerging e-services?