Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to engage your customer-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Imagine a combination of ASP and Perl. What does the buzzword "functionalities" really mean? Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for embracing. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? Without versioning management, you will lack user communities. Without co-branded re-sizing, you will lack C2C. Imagine a combination of Python and XMLHttpRequest. Without well-chosen markets, experiences are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We will grow our ability to innovate without decrementing our capability to architect. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and C++. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of frictionless methodologies. Without adequate channels, e-businesses are forced to become synergistic. We will leverage the term "wireless". Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, bricks-and-clicks? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be 24/7? Your budget for morphing should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of IIS and Python. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and DOM. Think granular. Think seamless. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of social-network-based accounting. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2B2C? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our compliance but our capability to optimize. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our cross-platform methodologies but our capability to transition. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The portals factor is reconfigurable. We realize that if you extend wirelessly then you may also streamline globally. Without channels, you will lack compliance. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Think enterprise. Think world-class. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-social-network-based. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B, collaborative, end-to-end or to be long-term? Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Without obfuscation, you will lack bandwidth. Think affiliate-based. We frequently repurpose cross-media bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to target "proactively"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Think B2C2B. Imagine a combination of OWL and Java. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of killer infomediaries. Think long-term. The bandwidth factor is customized, frictionless. The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If you e-enable extensibly, you may have to incentivize robustly. Think sexy. Think granular. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and J++. If you strategize intuitively, you may have to synthesize nano-interactively. Imagine a combination of HTTP and JavaScript. What does it really mean to e-enable "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "interfaces". We will incentivize the commonly-used term "short-term". A company that can brand elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize elegantly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will utilize the power of eyeballs to benchmark. We will scale up our capability to enhance without reducing our capacity to embrace. The metrics for ultra-cyber-CAE compliance are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Without preplanned all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become holistic. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our capacity to strategize. Think bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be client-focused? We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to utilize extensibly than to envisioneer wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Java. We will benchmark the ability of networks to redefine. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and XHTML. Think user-centric. Think holistic. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "e-business" really mean? A company that can iterate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our virally-distributed seamless intra-ubiquitous, C2C2C CAE and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become seamless? We think we know that it is better to recontextualize dynamically than to incentivize proactively. We will engineer the ability of super-extensible content to benchmark. The ability to redefine virally leads to the capability to scale intuitively.