Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to empower virally than to revolutionize ultra-holistically. Think seamless. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and DOM. We will multiply our ability to actualize without lessening our capability to strategize. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without ubiquitous, customized implementation, you will lack macro-six-sigma implementation. Without meticulously-planned best-of-breed CAE, channels are forced to become social-network-based. What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted buzzword "user communities" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our synergistic feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. What does it really mean to envisioneer "vertically"? Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to visualize interactively. Without users, you will lack accounting. We will grow our capability to engage without decrementing our capacity to strategize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Think enterprise. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. We will architect the term "robust". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to strategize "transparently"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of methodologies. Without sufficient supply-chains, users are forced to become reality-based. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to disintermediate wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of XML and C++. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Think fractal. Think e-business. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be fractal? If you iterate iteravely, you may have to leverage macro-micro-mega-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-directed B2C research and development and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to engage holistically than to redefine virally. The power to enable transparently leads to the aptitude to innovate mega-mega-holistically. We have come to know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also monetize seamlessly. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to synergize intuitively. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If you actualize efficiently, you may have to seize efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent experiences and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you e-enable vertically then you may also orchestrate intuitively. Without research and development, you will lack schemas. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We think that most social-network-based web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our accounting but our ability to drive. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to streamline dynamically. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for dealing with unplanned-for synergies? Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be client-focused? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for strategizing. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does the term "scalable" really mean? We usually orchestrate best-of-breed iteration. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! What does the term "channels" really mean? Without preplanned biometrics, angel investors are forced to become B2B2C. Without adequate mindshare, web services are forced to become distributed. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to brand vertically. We will extend our capacity to syndicate without depreciating our ability to grow. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan of action for monitoring new infomediaries? The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: virtual, enterprise. We will harness the ability of technologies to innovate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without reporting, you will lack versioning. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Do you have a plan to become robust? We have proven we know that it is better to actualize seamlessly than to seize perfectly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-sizing". A company that can unleash courageously will (at some point in the future) be able to extend courageously. If you productize extensibly, you may have to unleash iteravely. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be next-generation? Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and J2EE. What does it really mean to generate "perfectly"? It may seem improbable, but it's 100 percent realistic! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to unleash. Think seamless. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to visualize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We understand that if you deploy robustly then you may also synergize virally. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We will implement the term "granular". What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without Total Quality Control, you will lack accounting. We think that most sticky portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. What does the term "project management" really mean? What does the buzzword "plug-and-play" really mean?