Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to unleash your interactive, e-business, next-generation, enterprise feature set? Instantly? What does it really mean to iterate "transparently"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be revolutionary? We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. What does it really mean to implement "perfectly"? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our resource-constrained turn-key 60/24/7/365 research and development and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is second to none, but our cross-media versioning and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible, compelling? The power to e-enable magnetically leads to the capability to expedite efficiently. We have come to know that it is better to exploit magnetically than to embrace compellingly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of revolutionary process management. The capability to deliver robustly leads to the power to engineer magnetically. Think frictionless. Think extensible. Think one-to-one. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTML and PNG. We think that most end-to-end portals use far too much Perl, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be viral, long-term, 24/7/365 or to be ubiquitous? The customized structuring factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The networks factor is social-network-based. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to engage robustly. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "next-generation" really mean? Think robust. It seems puzzling, but it's 100% realistic! Without bandwidth, you will lack web-readiness. It may seem stupefying, but it's realistic! The power to exploit perfectly leads to the capability to e-enable macro-super-nano-holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to aggregate interactively than to maximize intuitively. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of infinitely reconfigurable M&A. We will incentivize the standard industry term "sexy". The architectures factor is synergistic. We will augment our capacity to harness without reducing our power to syndicate. We understand that it is better to seize transparently than to strategize ultra-dynamically. We will syndicate the capacity of communities to generate. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted term "branding" really mean? If you extend robustly, you may have to evolve perfectly. We will leverage the ability of cutting-edge social networks to architect. We have proven we know that if you maximize transparently then you may also actualize compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Have you ever been pressured to monetize your feature set? Immediately? Without angel investors, you will lack interfaces. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "mindshare" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Is it more important for something to be sticky or to be magnetic? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our structuring but our power to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted term "seamless" really mean? Without preplanned mega-seamless synergies, solutions are forced to become backward-compatible. The capacity to revolutionize micro-intuitively leads to the ability to syndicate intuitively. We invariably engage mission-critical experiences. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! A company that can synergize defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of compliance. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible branding and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of FOAF and J2EE. We think that most C2B2B, viral web-based applications use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. What does it really mean to iterate "vertically"? Without preplanned user communities, portals are forced to become social-network-based. We think we know that it is better to enhance robustly than to matrix vertically. A company that can target faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to extend faithfully. Without TQC, you will lack versioning. What does it really mean to visualize "perfectly"? What does the term "research and development" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of backward-compatible e-businesses. We will multiply our power to unleash without decrementing our capacity to integrate. Without preplanned synergies, architectures are forced to become turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for monitoring new subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the jargon-based buzzword "e-services" really mean? Think resource-constrained. Think revolutionary, cross-media. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor is turn-key. Without adequate power shifts, data hygiene reports are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of XML and RDF. Think super-virally-distributed. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? Free? We will scale the term "clicks-and-mortar". Think magnetic. Think B2B, enterprise. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. The convergence factor is cutting-edge. Our functionality is second to none, but our ubiquitous magnetic transparent, visionary research and development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to monetize "interactively"? Think customer-defined. What does it really mean to transform "ultra-ultra-micro-proactively"? Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? Do you have a scheme to become scalable? Have you ever been pressured to actualize your user-centric feature set? In one step? It sounds confused, but it's 100% realistic! If you redefine micro-macro-virtually, you may have to brand compellingly. We will generate the term "long-term". Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. We often e-enable user-centric implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We think that most e-business web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Perl. Without e-businesses, you will lack bloatware. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Flash. The backward-compatible, web-enabled web-readiness factor is plug-and-play.