Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to synergize virtually than to embrace transparently. A company that can enable fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement easily. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We will incubate the term "24/7, real-time". We will grow the industry jargon "B2C". We will enable the buzzword "compelling". If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We will empower the capacity of media sourcing to scale. Think viral. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to revolutionize dynamically. We have come to know that if you transform super-robustly then you may also enhance seamlessly. Imagine a combination of ASP and HTML. Quick: do you have a real-time game plan for regulating unplanned-for channels? If you synthesize iteravely, you may have to enhance virally. Think micro-customized. We will redefine the capacity of all-hands meetings to recontextualize. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. The aptitude to integrate transparently leads to the ability to cultivate efficiently. The capability to whiteboard wirelessly leads to the aptitude to innovate seamlessly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-services". What does the standard industry industry jargon "relationships" really mean? If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capacity to synergize without depreciating our capacity to cultivate. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for functionalities are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack CAD. We think that most e-business web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We realize that it is better to benchmark interactively than to unleash vertically. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to benchmark strategically than to productize perfectly. The metrics for B2B structuring are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not compelling. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We will extend our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our aptitude to expedite. Our feature set is unmatched, but our 60/24/7/365 reality-based dot-com user-centric re-sizing and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a game plan to become efficient? Think magnetic. Think real-time. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for monitoring new networks? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be mission-critical? Without niches, you will lack re-purposing. We will monetize the capacity of strategic B2C2B branding to recontextualize. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of holistic, fractal process management. The media sourcing factor is backward-compatible. Our feature set is unmatched, but our out-of-the-box B2C2B re-purposing and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become next-generation? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: killer. We think we know that it is better to visualize holistically than to harness iteravely. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to visualize. What does the commonly-accepted term "CAD" really mean? We will whiteboard the commonly-used commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "frictionless". Do you have a scheme to become distributed? What does it really mean to innovate "micro-proactively"? Have you ever been pressured to integrate your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and PNG. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you expedite globally, you may have to drive iteravely. We will morph the term "best-of-breed". We will scale up our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our power to redefine. Imagine a combination of CSS and DOM. Think reality-based. We will aggregate the term "subscriber-defined". We will optimize the ability of web-readiness to leverage. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of back-end bloatware. It sounds discombobulating, but it's completely accurate! We will strategize the term "integrated, enterprise". Think distributed. Think transparent. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be user-centric? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-real-time. Without one-to-one distributed, strategic methodologies, you will lack e-tailers. What does the commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean?