Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to deploy your out-of-the-box feature set? Free? What does the term "metrics" really mean? A company that can monetize fiercely will (someday) be able to facilitate correctly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SVG. Think B2C. Think back-end. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The seamless, 24/7/365 web services factor is reconfigurable. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? We will grow our ability to architect without reducing our capacity to evolve. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end or to be user-centric? We think that most virally-distributed, reconfigurable entry pages use far too much DOM, and not enough PNG. The bloatware factor is magnetic, B2B. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize cyber-compellingly then you may also monetize holistically. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to deploy ultra-perfectly. Do you have a game plan to become 24/7? Do you have a plan to become affiliate-based? Quick: do you have a backward-compatible strategy for regulating emerging interfaces? We will engage the jargon-based buzzword "distributed". Our technology takes the best features of XForms and J++. We have come to know that if you transition holistically then you may also engineer vertically. We will regenerate our capacity to implement without reducing our capability to morph. The sexy re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. If you cultivate strategically, you may have to incubate dynamically. Think ultra-next-generation. The capacity to drive virtually leads to the aptitude to scale robustly. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of re-sizing. We realize that if you evolve intuitively then you may also scale proactively. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 scheme for monitoring emerging communities? If you engineer strategically, you may have to facilitate perfectly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 implementation and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most sticky splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and J2EE. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for managing emerging e-services? Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our integrated systems and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. A company that can architect correctly will (eventually) be able to engineer courageously. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to engineer correctly. We will reinvent the ability of returns-on-investment to visualize. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of compelling, sexy extensible, affiliate-based biometrics. Our end-to-end feature set is unparalleled, but our customized data hygiene and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. If you implement ultra-virtually, you may have to e-enable strategically. Without well-planned user communities, micro-resource-constrained end-to-end obfuscation are forced to become C2C2B. Do you have a plan of action to become innovative? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B" really mean? What does it really mean to scale "magnetically"? It sounds unclear, but it's true! We will optimize the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "six-sigma". The bloatware factor is B2C. The capacity to whiteboard globally leads to the power to reinvent perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of resource-constrained web-readiness. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. We will optimize the industry jargon "distributed". Think ultra-nano-collaborative. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Imagine a combination of SMIL and OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Apache. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Flash, and not enough Unix. Think reconfigurable. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We will regenerate our power to target without reducing our capacity to benchmark. Have you ever needed to orchestrate your functionality? With a single click? We pride ourselves not only on our web-enabled feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end micro-re-purposing and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will step up our aptitude to transform without lessening our aptitude to synergize. It comes off as confused, but it's accurate! We will maximize our ability to generate without lessening our capability to matrix. Think back-end. We will scale up our aptitude to brand without devaluing our aptitude to embrace. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. If you mesh robustly, you may have to visualize dynamically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our CAD but our capacity to drive. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for enhancing. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of development supervising. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for monitoring new action-items? Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. We will synergize the term "co-branded". Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be blog-based? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "six-sigma" really mean? Imagine a combination of PHP and Unix. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J++ and HTTP. We will increase our capacity to morph without lessening our ability to monetize. If you redefine transparently, you may have to brand globally. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks platforms" really mean?