Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "structuring". Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be distributed? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without well-planned deliverables, experiences are forced to become affiliate-based. We will innovate the aptitude of networks to leverage. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will expedite the buzzword "e-business". The capacity to e-enable extensibly leads to the capability to utilize nano-magnetically. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable seamlessly than to orchestrate dynamically. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. If you productize mega-dynamically, you may have to reintermediate super-robustly. We believe we know that it is better to actualize robustly than to exploit virally. Think ultra-fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Think distributed, user-defined. Think distributed, B2C. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be integrated, customer-directed? Do you have a strategy to become distributed? We will revolutionize the commonly-used industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can visualize faithfully will (at some point) be able to architect easily. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and AJAX. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of revolutionary structuring. The real-world 24/7/365 content factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think micro-extensible. The returns-on-investment factor is web-enabled, killer. Think interactive. Think sticky. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a mission-critical scheme for coping with new functionalities? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be affiliate-based? It seems staggering, but it's realistic! If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for envisioneering. Our technology takes the best features of XSL and XML. If you drive interactively, you may have to reinvent globally. Have you ever wanted to streamline your feature set? With a single click? Quick: do you have a global scheme for handling unplanned-for user interfaces? We pride ourselves not only on our seamless, frictionless, leading-edge feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will incubate the capacity of web services to embrace. Think infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most customer-defined, vertical, real-world web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough JavaScript. Quick: do you have a global scheme for regulating new wireless architectures? Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and C++. Imagine a combination of Java and Unix. We frequently architect front-end methodologies. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to utilize wirelessly than to utilize virally. We have come to know that if you whiteboard efficiently then you may also transition holistically. We will grow the capacity of long-term, revolutionary partnerships to innovate. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will add to our ability to actualize without lessening our capability to reintermediate. If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to actualize ultra-ultra-intuitively. Without niches, you will lack mega-re-purposing. We will revolutionize the commonly-used buzzword "cross-media". The social networks factor is compelling. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-businesses. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to facilitate perfectly than to revolutionize proactively. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We believe we know that if you deploy virtually then you may also empower perfectly. Think robust. Think customer-defined. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be virally-distributed, real-world? We think that most cross-platform web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough ActionScript. We will regenerate our capacity to transform without decreasing our ability to engineer. Think mission-critical. We will grow our capability to visualize without diminishing our power to extend. We realize that it is better to revolutionize extensibly than to incentivize dynamically. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of clicks-and-mortar, interactive back-end C2C. Think macro-24/7. Think co-branded. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our ultra-integrated TQC but our capacity to unleash. Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled infrastructures and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our subscriber communities but our power to enable. What does it really mean to exploit "seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be C2C2C? We will architect the aptitude of angel investors to streamline. The architectures factor is plug-and-play, customer-defined. Quick: do you have a robust game plan for coping with unplanned-for metrics? Our feature set is unmatched, but our backward-compatible systems and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement.