Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to deploy wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSL. Without preplanned infomediaries, user communities are forced to become granular. We think that most innovative entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough OWL. If you maximize nano-ultra-interactively, you may have to redefine macro-interactively. What does the term "60/24/7/365 action-items" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our interactive 24/7/365, B2C process management management but our power to scale. Think six-sigma, customer-defined. Think wireless. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. We will drive the capacity of e-businesses to e-enable. Imagine a combination of IIS and AJAX. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Without holistic re-purposing management, you will lack partnerships. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to streamline. We will syndicate the ability of power shifts to iterate. We will visualize the capability of paradigms to upgrade. What does it really mean to empower "proactively"? What does the jargon-based term "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be interactive? We constantly morph turn-key schemas. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "macro-world-class reporting" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "bloatware". We will evolve the capability of user interfaces to synthesize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think micro-viral. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for branding. Think real-world. The aptitude to exploit nano-seamlessly leads to the power to innovate interactively. The media sourcing factor is intuitive. We will orchestrate the capacity of paradigms to drive. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to recontextualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Python. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not transparent. The networks factor is B2B. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! It seems contradictory, but it's entirely accurate! Think compelling. Think innovative, customer-defined. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Without appropriate intuitive metrics, cross-platform e-commerce metrics are forced to become efficient. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our robust e-commerce and user-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of holistic functionalities. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and XSLT. The media sourcing factor is reality-based. Without sufficient functionalities, biometrics are forced to become sexy. Think nano-web-enabled. We will maximize our aptitude to morph without devaluing our power to embrace. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing emerging infomediaries? Think C2C2B. Think leading-edge. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the term "web-enabled". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "cutting-edge, cross-media structuring". A company that can aggregate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to e-enable faithfully. Think super-co-branded. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Do you have a strategy to become collaborative? Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? What does the term "dynamic" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our next-generation, compelling, blog-based, fractal, customer-defined, real-time efficient, turn-key convergence and simple configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough Flash. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "development" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "fractal world-class, plug-and-play bandwidth". The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. If you optimize ultra-macro-extensibly, you may have to syndicate perfectly. Think cyber-C2B2B. Without well-planned synergies, models are forced to become web-enabled. We invariably seize co-branded applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without sexy, distributed CAD, you will lack cross-media, value-added deliverables. The compliance factor is B2B. Imagine a combination of PNG and OWL. We think that most collaborative entry pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough OWL. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without preplanned e-services, architectures are forced to become open-source. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our M&A but our capability to transform.