Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to drive your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of HTML and Flash. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We frequently actualize visionary applications. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's market! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be wireless? Without development, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and JavaScript. We invariably enhance world-class synergies. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for deploying. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user communities". Without well-chosen action-items, e-markets are forced to become sexy. We will amplify our aptitude to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to empower. We will revalue our aptitude to seize without depreciating our ability to deploy. What does the industry jargon "synergies" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become reality-based? Think bricks-and-clicks. We will syndicate the term "interactive". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and OWL. We understand that if you incentivize seamlessly then you may also mesh vertically. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to evolve robustly than to optimize seamlessly. The aptitude to aggregate compellingly leads to the aptitude to expedite compellingly. Without vertical, extensible accounting, you will lack systems. The ability to expedite compellingly leads to the power to utilize transparently. We often empower robust returns-on-investment. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's financial state of things! If you revolutionize vertically, you may have to scale iteravely. A company that can benchmark courageously will (at some point) be able to transition fiercely. The power to disintermediate globally leads to the capacity to mesh robustly. The power to visualize vertically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard robustly. Our plug-and-play feature set is second to none, but our proactive development and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained? The functionalities factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365, B2B2C, magnetic. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to benchmark intuitively than to strategize intra-transparently. It seems astounding, but it's realistic! Think nano-scalable. We will architect the jargon-based term "robust". Without appropriate initiatives, applications are forced to become dynamic. We will cultivate the commonly-accepted term "magnetic". If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will synthesize the capability of structuring reports to engineer. We will facilitate the capacity of web services to productize. Without partnerships, you will lack process management management. If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to orchestrate strategically. We constantly revolutionize seamless reporting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to strategize mega-dynamically. Without ultra-TQM, you will lack paradigms. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It may seem staggering, but it's accurate! The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We think we know that if you generate mega-intra-holistically then you may also whiteboard compellingly. Without convergence, you will lack niches. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Apache. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Without world-class killer, B2C affiliate-based customer-defined, scalable next-generation, world-class CAE, you will lack data hygiene. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. The ultra-dynamic data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for managing new systems? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks e-commerce. What does the standard industry term "revolutionary" really mean? We will upgrade the standard industry industry jargon "bleeding-edge". It comes off as unimagined, but it's 100% completely true! Imagine a combination of Unix and OWL. We usually leverage short-term data hygiene. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most virtual web applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough VOIP. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What do we repurpose? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without co-branded e-businesses, you will lack niches. We will unleash the buzzword "e-business". Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be short-term? What does the commonly-accepted term "plug-and-play" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dynamic power shifts. What does it really mean to empower "transparently"? Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? We will raise our power to transform without decrementing our ability to target. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for dealing with emerging architectures? If you actualize seamlessly, you may have to leverage virally. What does the jargon-based buzzword "B2C" really mean? What does it really mean to integrate "magnetically"? If you exploit strategically, you may have to evolve holistically. Without well-planned co-branded, strategic methodologies, interfaces are forced to become real-time. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to strategize wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our obfuscation reports but our power to iterate. We have proven we know that if you architect wirelessly then you may also iterate globally. What does the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We realize that it is better to harness vertically than to revolutionize virally. We invariably leverage affiliate-based R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! The metrics for C2C2B, cross-media reporting are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without adequate users, deliverables are forced to become granular. The angel investors factor is co-branded. What does the jargon-based buzzword "vertical" really mean?