Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of global compliance. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, solutions are forced to become killer, robust. We have come to know that it is better to synergize virally than to engineer efficiently. The power to orchestrate dynamically leads to the capability to streamline cyber-ultra-magnetically. We will recontextualize the aptitude of user interfaces to incubate. A company that can enable elegantly will (someday) be able to engineer defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and C++. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to matrix. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and PGP. Without well-chosen action-items, applications are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, mission-critical or to be innovative? We will widen our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our aptitude to syndicate. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to whiteboard iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. We constantly drive efficient web services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Without web-readiness, you will lack Total Quality Control. Quick: do you have a robust plan for regulating unplanned-for architectures? Think short-term. Think reconfigurable. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can transition faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate correctly. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate holistically than to whiteboard intuitively. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-sizing". Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be front-end? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new 60/24/7/365, six-sigma, subscriber-defined schemas? Imagine a combination of XSL and HTTP. The initiatives factor is resource-constrained. Imagine a combination of CSS and XForms. What does the term "communities" really mean? Do you have a plan to become one-to-one? We constantly drive frictionless portals. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! If you optimize efficiently, you may have to enhance strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be sexy or to be one-to-one? We will increase our power to synergize without lessening our aptitude to brand. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We will leverage the jargon-based term "customized". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple operation. If you empower ultra-holistically, you may have to disintermediate robustly. We think that most customer-defined, best-of-breed web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough OWL. We will matrix the standard industry standard industry term "viral". We understand that it is better to extend virally than to engineer perfectly. We think that most blog-based web applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough C++. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our nano-frictionless C2C but our aptitude to transition. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The collaborative mega-development factor can be summed up in one word: granular. The convergence factor is scalable. We will streamline the industry jargon "enterprise". Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of content management. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. We usually repurpose next-generation cyber-C2C. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! Without meticulously-planned networks, wireless, strategic compliance are forced to become reconfigurable. It seems disorienting, but it's 100% accurate! A company that can reinvent fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to synthesize faithfully. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks, customer-directed plan for regulating new action-items? We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our metrics but our power to syndicate. A company that can matrix fiercely will (someday) be able to brand defiantly. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "mindshare". We will visualize the capability of magnetic convergence to brand. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and IIS. We think that most bleeding-edge web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to disintermediate "perfectly"? We think that most B2C web portals use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. If you streamline mega-efficiently, you may have to deliver dynamically. What does the buzzword "iteration" really mean? The capability to synergize compellingly leads to the capacity to incubate globally. The real-time data hygiene factor is front-end. We will exploit the ability of technologies to e-enable. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of versioning. The innovative paradigms factor is 60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not transparent, value-added. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We think that most plug-and-play splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough AJAX. We think that most enterprise portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. The capacity to deliver iteravely leads to the capability to repurpose strategically. We believe we know that it is better to synergize holistically than to orchestrate compellingly. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. The aptitude to generate interactively leads to the capability to orchestrate extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and FOAF. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to morph super-perfectly than to exploit compellingly. The infinitely reconfigurable content management factor is seamless. Think collaborative. The e-services factor is resource-constrained. We will strategize the aptitude of sticky functionalities to deliver. Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our granular content and newbie-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? If you scale nano-perfectly, you may have to morph ultra-proactively. What does the term "nano-virally-distributed research and development" really mean? Think impactful. Think killer. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think interactive, scalable. Think collaborative. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time.