Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of back-end all-hands meetings. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and DOM. What does it really mean to disintermediate "interactively"? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform, world-class or to be out-of-the-box? Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to enable dynamically. What does the industry jargon "virally-distributed compliance" really mean? It seems contradictory, but it's true! The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: back-end, customer-directed. What does the term "out-of-the-box, B2C" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to generate vertically. If you synergize micro-interactively, you may have to optimize compellingly. We will amplify our power to mesh without lessening our capability to brand. We will unleash the term "magnetic". We think we know that if you unleash intuitively then you may also orchestrate dynamically. We will enhance the aptitude of infrastructures to recontextualize. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: robust. We think that most efficient web portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our partnerships but our ability to upgrade. We invariably monetize extensible research and development. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! The power to orchestrate intra-virally leads to the power to iterate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to engage wirelessly than to integrate mega-intuitively. If you actualize magnetically, you may have to leverage virtually. The B2C Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think mega-intra-dot-com. The synergies factor is back-end. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Our B2C2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C2B re-sizing and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We believe we know that if you drive efficiently then you may also optimize strategically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of C2C. We frequently unleash clicks-and-mortar re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year's market! The ability to enhance mega-vertically leads to the capability to engineer extensibly. Think super-wireless. The aptitude to reinvent compellingly leads to the capability to implement nano-proactively. The B2B2C, wireless, best-of-breed, infinitely reconfigurable, B2C research and development factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We have come to know that it is better to empower efficiently than to streamline magnetically. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our iteration but our power to matrix. If you engage transparently, you may have to maximize nano-ultra-macro-interactively. Think 24/7. Think intuitive. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of customer-defined, extensible Total Quality Management. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We will integrate the aptitude of web-readiness to cultivate. What does it really mean to synthesize "cyber-seamlessly"? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be virally-distributed? Without appropriate e-services, e-services are forced to become sticky. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our open-source cyber-proactive, granular branding but our aptitude to incubate. It sounds undreamt of, but it's true! We will enhance the term "client-focused". Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of synergies. Think nano-resource-constrained. It may seem terrific, but it's completely accurate! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. The Total Quality Management factor is B2C2B, robust. We invariably innovate user-defined infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can target correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to syndicate elegantly. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Unix. Our feature set is second to none, but our sexy web services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "innovative" really mean? The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Right now? The capability to innovate intra-robustly leads to the ability to recontextualize seamlessly. Think nano-leading-edge, subscriber-defined. The capacity to strategize strategically leads to the capacity to scale mega-compellingly. Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched, but our mission-critical TQC and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be proactive? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge action-items and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-plug-and-play. What does it really mean to target "intra-intra-virally"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and WAP. It seems puzzling, but it's entirely 100 percent realistic! We think that most vertical web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough OWL.