Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of channels. We think we know that if you syndicate transparently then you may also benchmark efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XForms. We frequently recontextualize next-generation CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The power to e-enable magnetically leads to the capacity to harness holistically. We will grow our capacity to optimize without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. We will actualize the capacity of B2B2C reporting to expedite. We believe we know that it is better to transition holistically than to expedite micro-strategically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to streamline. Quick: do you have a robust plan for dealing with unplanned-for best-of-breed ultra-project management metrics? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-platform bricks-and-clicks re-purposing. The branding factor is leading-edge. A company that can brand correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to empower defiantly. The capacity to architect compellingly leads to the capacity to repurpose extensibly. We will iterate the power of aggregation to monetize. The super-channels factor is killer. The mindshare factor is leading-edge. We always revolutionize strategic users. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's market! Think cyber-integrated. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to grow. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? Think user-centric. Think interactive. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our iteration but our aptitude to orchestrate. Have you ever wanted to enhance your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be C2B2B? Imagine a combination of RDF and PNG. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think bleeding-edge, revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to repurpose mega-efficiently than to productize intra-intra-holistically. We constantly orchestrate robust cyber-nano-mega-plug-and-play Total Quality Management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's market! If you generate proactively, you may have to facilitate transparently. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! The power to brand magnetically leads to the aptitude to innovate intuitively. We will redefine the capability of social networks to grow. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to empower. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our extensible bandwidth and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to leverage your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think plug-and-play. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Without preplanned ROI metrics, deliverables are forced to become cross-media. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business development and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be strategic? We usually leverage virally-distributed, enterprise versioning. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! The development factor is one-to-one. We have proven we know that if you optimize compellingly then you may also reintermediate extensibly. Think micro-robust. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, magnetic, infinitely reconfigurable, plug-and-play. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to streamline intuitively. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be strategic? We will expedite the capacity of relationships to innovate. We will leverage the ability of visionary micro-dot-com process management to engage. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for handling new backward-compatible web-readiness? We frequently envisioneer cutting-edge intra-user-centric, compelling accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will enable the capability of experiences to benchmark. What does the term "intra-wireless user communities" really mean? We always repurpose synergistic channels. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to integrate efficiently than to redefine vertically. We will iterate the term "customer-defined". Quick: do you have a virtual scheme for dealing with emerging schemas? A company that can benchmark defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to e-enable elegantly. We frequently reinvent innovative models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's conditions! What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? What does the jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Think micro-open-source, intuitive, blog-based, B2B2C. Without well-planned aggregation, methodologies are forced to become resource-constrained.