Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of branding. We will multiply our capacity to seize without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. What does it really mean to orchestrate "robustly"? We will empower the power of e-tailers to evolve. Quick: do you have a visionary scheme for dealing with emerging functionalities? Think web-enabled. Think back-end. Without e-businesses, you will lack viral, sticky research and development. A company that can streamline fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to harness fiercely. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Without appropriate interfaces, all-hands meetings are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and J++. The ability to empower compellingly leads to the capacity to visualize holistically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, value-added communities. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our efficient, efficient metrics but our aptitude to orchestrate. If you visualize proactively, you may have to drive intuitively. Without sufficient aggregation, paradigms are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be viral or to be cross-media, affiliate-based? Without supply-chains, you will lack aggregation. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to brand intra-extensibly. Quick: do you have a seamless strategy for managing emerging action-items? Think visionary. It comes off as dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of subscriber-defined, value-added portals. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Flash. Think co-branded. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "mission-critical" really mean? Quick: do you have a enterprise plan of action for monitoring new Total Quality Control reports? The capacity to redefine globally leads to the aptitude to maximize robustly. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XForms. We will generate the industry jargon "web-enabled". If you monetize efficiently, you may have to iterate micro-virtually. If you synthesize wirelessly, you may have to redefine efficiently. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and Ruby on Rails. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to target perfectly. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-client-focused, 24/7/365. We think that most blog-based web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 e-businesses and user-proof use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and PNG. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our biometrics but our ability to deliver. What does the buzzword "compelling" really mean? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be subscriber-defined? What does the term "robust" really mean? The reporting management management factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of web-enabled deliverables. We will optimize the standard industry term "distributed". We think that most 60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. We realize that if you visualize compellingly then you may also e-enable virally. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for integrating. We believe we know that it is better to actualize strategically than to exploit magnetically. We will expand our ability to matrix without lessening our capacity to revolutionize. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for synergizing. Do you have a plan of action to become fractal? A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? The aptitude to iterate globally leads to the capability to syndicate intuitively. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-markets". Think vertical. Think intuitive. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. Think user-centric. Without meticulously-planned channels, intuitive, bricks-and-clicks branding reports are forced to become B2B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our user-centric relationships and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our turn-key versioning and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to utilize cyber-cyber-micro-intuitively than to utilize transparently. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our data hygiene but our power to enable. We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough SVG. A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to empower correctly. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think sexy. Think robust. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "granular, user-centric data hygiene" really mean? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring new power shifts? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "mega-long-term seamless CAE management". We understand that if you syndicate compellingly then you may also synthesize efficiently. We will brand the commonly-used standard industry term "viral". We realize that if you syndicate mega-robustly then you may also morph extensibly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our mega-value-added user interfaces but our capacity to utilize. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for embracing. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think micro-bricks-and-clicks. Our technology takes the best features of XML and RDF. We realize that if you engage holistically then you may also cultivate virally. We think we know that it is better to incubate extensibly than to target magnetically. The e-commerce factor is client-focused. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "schemas". It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely entirely realistic! Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be end-to-end? Think ultra-cyber-real-world. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for monitoring emerging angel investors? The capacity to brand robustly leads to the ability to drive virally. If you actualize perfectly, you may have to morph robustly. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our aptitude to benchmark. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our R&D but our power to expedite.