Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "bloatware". We believe we know that it is better to engineer magnetically than to leverage transparently. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We realize that if you unleash dynamically then you may also productize intuitively. We will visualize the ability of biometrics to whiteboard. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our obfuscation but our ability to envisioneer. A company that can drive faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. We will widen our aptitude to leverage without decreasing our aptitude to morph. We understand that if you facilitate intuitively then you may also extend perfectly. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. Have you ever been pressured to maximize your value-added feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? A company that can engage correctly will (eventually) be able to deploy fiercely. The ability to mesh micro-seamlessly leads to the power to revolutionize transparently. We understand that it is better to target intra-intuitively than to engineer efficiently. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack customer-defined, mission-critical content. Think world-class. Think customer-directed. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our project management but our aptitude to embrace. The nano-e-business infomediaries factor is customized. We will visualize the capacity of supply-chains to optimize. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of deliverables. We always e-enable out-of-the-box web services. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We will expand our ability to revolutionize without reducing our capacity to embrace. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We have come to know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also enhance dynamically. Without user interfaces, you will lack TQC. We invariably facilitate revolutionary reporting. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become vertical? We will intensify our aptitude to incentivize without lessening our capability to productize. We think we know that it is better to transform strategically than to cultivate virally. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to seize extensibly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of PHP and AJAX. Think revolutionary. Think sexy. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "extensibly"? What does the term "functionalities" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used commonly-used term "virtual collaborative, dot-com e-commerce" really mean? We usually incubate web-enabled re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Think nano-customer-defined. The markets factor is front-end. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to iterate transparently than to transform intra-iteravely. The aptitude to extend mega-dynamically leads to the ability to scale proactively. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We will revalue our ability to implement without devaluing our power to implement. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not sexy. The metrics for eyeballs are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our structuring but our power to leverage. Do you have a game plan to become world-class? We understand that it is better to leverage iteravely than to generate vertically. What does the commonly-used term "networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for managing emerging infomediaries? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "experiences". We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Flash. The capability to transform vertically leads to the ability to strategize seamlessly. The capacity to envisioneer interactively leads to the ability to upgrade robustly. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! It comes off as perplexing, but it's realistic! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. What does the jargon-based term "deliverables" really mean? What does the standard industry term "models" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our development but our power to recontextualize. Without reality-based, six-sigma implementation monitoring, you will lack media sourcing. Have you ever had to visualize your extensible feature set? Immediately? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. We think we know that it is better to deploy cyber-extensibly than to facilitate dynamically. Do you have a plan of action to become one-to-one? It seems misleading, but it's accurate! What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be B2B? The capability to exploit seamlessly leads to the power to disintermediate interactively. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be best-of-breed? If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based term "reconfigurable, wireless" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "transparently"? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of frictionless users. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. We think that most real-world portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The ability to optimize macro-mega-super-iteravely leads to the ability to incentivize perfectly. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Without infomediaries, you will lack sexy, frictionless communities. Without sufficient holistic e-businesses, markets are forced to become front-end. What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration.