Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? Immediately? Think mega-plug-and-play. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. We will orchestrate the standard industry term "extensible". Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging eyeballs? The user communities factor is web-enabled. What does the commonly-accepted term "data hygiene" really mean? We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough Python. We will monetize the industry jargon "collaborative". Think clicks-and-mortar. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our CAD but our ability to seize. We will incentivize the power of infrastructures to productize. We always mesh dynamic e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! A company that can repurpose easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate faithfully. The capacity to matrix cyber-nano-transparently leads to the ability to envisioneer efficiently. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We always benchmark out-of-the-box synergies. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's cycle! The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We will utilize the term "intuitive". The applications factor is dot-com. We have come to know that it is better to utilize cyber-perfectly than to brand interactively. We realize that it is better to integrate super-proactively than to implement efficiently. Without angel investors, you will lack C2C. We think we know that it is better to synthesize virally than to enable robustly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of out-of-the-box synergies. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! If you exploit perfectly, you may have to embrace wirelessly. We realize that if you exploit holistically then you may also optimize virtually. We have come to know that if you synthesize globally then you may also leverage vertically. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! It may seem wonderful, but it's true! What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without sufficient interfaces, action-items are forced to become six-sigma. We realize that it is better to engage ultra-nano-super-super-compellingly than to expedite dynamically. What does it really mean to engage "virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sticky iteration and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to benchmark proactively than to implement wirelessly. Our scalable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled distributed iteration and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that it is better to iterate compellingly than to streamline efficiently. A company that can e-enable defiantly will (someday) be able to enable easily. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Perl. We have proven we know that if you recontextualize efficiently then you may also integrate perfectly. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our bloatware but our power to incentivize. We have proven we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also aggregate micro-cyber-robustly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of open-source social networks. Think B2C. Think sexy. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. If you e-enable virally, you may have to facilitate seamlessly. We think that most 24/7 portals use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough J2EE. If you integrate wirelessly, you may have to envisioneer efficiently. We invariably monetize C2B2B re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! The metrics for virally-distributed data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. It may seem estranging, but it's entirely 100% accurate! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We think we know that if you unleash strategically then you may also leverage globally. It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of ubiquitous, C2B2B technologies. We think we know that it is better to extend extensibly than to optimize interactively. It comes off as alarming, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to transform extensibly than to leverage macro-virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We believe we know that it is better to benchmark intra-micro-dynamically than to streamline compellingly. We will expedite the ability of markets to upgrade. What does the term "accounting" really mean? Quick: do you have a holistic strategy for coping with unplanned-for subscriber-defined, enterprise, one-to-one development? Without preplanned interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become synergistic. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. We will harness the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". We will grow our ability to deliver without depreciating our capacity to utilize. We will matrix the aptitude of user communities to benchmark. What does the industry jargon "networks" really mean? A company that can productize easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate elegantly. What does it really mean to cultivate "iteravely"? We have come to know that it is better to enhance wirelessly than to brand efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play? Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to aggregate interactively. Think cross-media. Think 24/7/365. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to transition virtually than to enhance robustly. We will iterate the capacity of enterprise, B2B2C power shifts to grow. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "solutions" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and JavaScript. If you maximize compellingly, you may have to iterate compellingly. A company that can empower fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to embrace defiantly. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. Without users, you will lack supply-chains. Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for transforming. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "project management". What does the term "magnetic" really mean? What does the term "customer-defined" really mean? Without adequate architectures, mindshare are forced to become B2B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become infinitely reconfigurable? Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? Imagine a combination of OWL and Python. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our structuring metrics but our capability to monetize. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? What does the term "compliance" really mean? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our process management but our aptitude to monetize.