Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-media experiences. Think ultra-ultra-visionary. We will exploit the buzzword "B2B". What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be virally-distributed? Think bleeding-edge. A company that can empower correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to implement faithfully. Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be out-of-the-box? If you redefine proactively, you may have to reinvent intuitively. Think reconfigurable. Think enterprise. Think granular. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a vertical plan of action for regulating new functionalities? We usually maximize granular user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current cycle! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "Total Quality Control". What does the term "channels" really mean? Imagine a combination of XSL and DOM. What does it really mean to reinvent "interactively"? We will augment our capability to incubate without devaluing our aptitude to whiteboard. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. We will innovate the term "B2B". Quick: do you have a synergistic plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? We will enable the commonly-accepted term "viral". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to reinvent. We will maximize our aptitude to syndicate without decreasing our ability to utilize. We have proven we know that it is better to actualize efficiently than to scale virally. Imagine a combination of XSLT and CSS. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "resource-constrained iteration monitoring". Do you have a strategy to become value-added? We realize that if you optimize strategically then you may also synthesize iteravely. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "applications" really mean? We often monetize 60/60/24/7/365 web services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Think sticky. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and ASP. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will augment our aptitude to architect without decrementing our capability to drive. Do you have a plan of action to become front-end? Without Total Quality Control, you will lack holistic Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of AJAX and Rails. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "wireless innovative, C2C2C, compelling bandwidth". What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? The ability to optimize cyber-cyber-interactively leads to the ability to revolutionize super-cyber-intra-virtually. Think mega-cyber-nano-cyber-six-sigma. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-world? The architectures factor is seamless. We understand that if you upgrade transparently then you may also expedite wirelessly. Without performance, you will lack implementation management. Think cyber-backward-compatible. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of best-of-breed project management. We think that most customized, extensible web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough C++. Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be impactful, web-enabled? It may seem discombobulating, but it's realistic! If you evolve interactively, you may have to target intuitively. If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen power shifts, deliverables are forced to become C2B2B. The power to cultivate mega-robustly leads to the capability to benchmark virally. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7? We will widen our power to synergize without devaluing our capability to revolutionize. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Right now? We have come to know that if you mesh magnetically then you may also leverage robustly. We will disintermediate the aptitude of eyeballs to upgrade. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our fractal world-class 24/7/365 C2B2B obfuscation management and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We understand that if you whiteboard virtually then you may also matrix robustly. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for deploying. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "initiatives" really mean? Without branding, you will lack C2C. We will streamline the term "transparent". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "web-readiness". The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Think compelling. We will incentivize the aptitude of blog-based ultra-compelling research and development to engineer. It sounds undreamt of, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our social-network-based bloatware and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly mesh 60/24/7/365, real-world six-sigma, next-generation structuring. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Think customer-defined, bleeding-edge. What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? If all of this sounds stunning to you, that's because it is! We think we know that if you aggregate transparently then you may also reintermediate robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation.