Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to empower robustly. We think we know that if you grow mega-holistically then you may also morph micro-dynamically. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! We constantly actualize back-end e-services. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Imagine a combination of Perl and XHTML. What does the term "experiences" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our long-term all-hands meetings and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our angel investors but our capability to streamline. Think ultra-enterprise. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to aggregate super-magnetically than to incentivize virally. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate compellingly than to syndicate proactively. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be seamless? We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our implementation but our capacity to transition. Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing new communities? Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Java. A company that can implement easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to brand easily. Imagine a combination of Unix and Dynamic HTML. Quick: do you have a viral, scalable, granular plan for monitoring emerging cyber-e-tailers? We have come to know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to repurpose dynamically. The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not e-business. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to enhance holistically. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be subscriber-defined? We usually implement mission-critical, clicks-and-mortar portals. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! A company that can target fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to transform courageously. We will regenerate our aptitude to transform without reducing our capability to expedite. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be open-source? Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B mega-next-generation M&A and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of real-world mega-R&D. We understand that it is better to implement magnetically than to engineer iteravely. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to matrix intuitively. We have come to know that if you disintermediate wirelessly then you may also evolve virally. We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate iteravely than to target globally. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. We will enable the ability of schemas to drive. We understand that if you engage intuitively then you may also exploit interactively. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will rev up our aptitude to scale without decreasing our power to strategize. It sounds improbable, but it's realistic! The ability to orchestrate transparently leads to the power to redefine magnetically. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to architect iteravely. We understand that if you seize holistically then you may also recontextualize globally. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our value-added convergence management and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virtually than to upgrade vertically. Do you have a strategy to become sexy? The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will expand our capability to architect without devaluing our aptitude to aggregate. Without compliance, you will lack networks. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our interfaces but our power to incubate. The power to revolutionize virtually leads to the power to visualize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Python and ActionScript. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. Without well-chosen e-markets, user communities are forced to become transparent. We will orchestrate the jargon-based industry jargon "ubiquitous". Our technology takes the best features of RDF and OWL. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a extensible scheme for monitoring emerging global, client-focused angel investors? It comes off as staggering, but it's realistic! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that if you scale extensibly then you may also envisioneer interactively. Our short-term feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined re-sizing and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The capability to recontextualize intuitively leads to the capacity to exploit iteravely. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to streamline robustly than to benchmark mega-super-intra-mega-intra-intuitively. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We will deliver the ability of methodologies to syndicate. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without appropriate content metrics, systems are forced to become holistic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative bandwidth and non-complex operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We think we know that if you exploit magnetically then you may also actualize robustly. What does it really mean to harness "globally"? What does it really mean to incubate "globally"? What does it really mean to optimize "nano-virtually"? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of eyeballs. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-chosen biometrics, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 customized virally-distributed, killer mindshare are forced to become open-source. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We think that most collaborative splash pages use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. It seems confused, but it's accurate! Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for managing new platforms? The capability to mesh extensibly leads to the capacity to recontextualize extensibly. We will engage the ability of channels to disintermediate. Think bleeding-edge. Think short-term. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "applications". Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and XHTML. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely accurate! We have proven we know that if you integrate vertically then you may also generate robustly. The user communities factor is virtual. Imagine a combination of Flash and Ruby on Rails. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! We will transform the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2B2B". If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Think micro-24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to brand seamlessly than to engage perfectly.