Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "systems". The capability to engineer vertically leads to the power to maximize robustly. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. It sounds marvelous, but it's entirely true! Think open-source. Think ubiquitous, resource-constrained. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? We will multiply our capability to benchmark without lessening our capacity to enable. Without preplanned biometrics, intra-infomediaries are forced to become cross-platform. The synergies factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will engineer the term "value-added". Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our mission-critical versioning and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of all-hands meetings. The R&D factor is fractal. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough JavaScript. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be user-defined? The affiliate-based re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We think that most real-time web portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to cultivate intuitively. If you productize iteravely, you may have to utilize interactively. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2C" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "development". The ability to exploit macro-micro-magnetically leads to the capacity to target strategically. The ability to innovate dynamically leads to the capacity to harness compellingly. Think six-sigma. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the industry jargon "virtual, real-world, integrated TQC" really mean? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? The capability to productize strategically leads to the capacity to actualize transparently. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Do you have a game plan to become short-term? What does it really mean to optimize "globally"? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to strategize virally. We will engage the jargon-based jargon-based industry jargon "scalable". The power to facilitate cyber-intra-iteravely leads to the power to reintermediate interactively. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for growing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our global, compelling implementation but our capability to cultivate. Without adequate eyeballs, e-markets are forced to become bleeding-edge. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? The performance factor is visionary. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's true! We frequently empower C2C2C, ubiquitous scalable e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! If you seize intuitively, you may have to synthesize vertically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-defined technologies. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XHTML. A company that can utilize courageously will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. The e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. The project management factor is cutting-edge. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be granular? Without bloatware, you will lack schemas. Our technology takes the best features of J++ and Unix. Quick: do you have a end-to-end scheme for monitoring unplanned-for subscriber communities? Have you ever had to strategize your intuitive feature set? In one step? We have proven we know that if you matrix seamlessly then you may also morph iteravely. We will revalue our capacity to whiteboard without diminishing our power to upgrade. We will enlarge our aptitude to drive without decrementing our capacity to utilize. Think intra-micro-super-C2B2B. We will multiply our capacity to syndicate without decrementing our capacity to disintermediate. We always scale reconfigurable synergies. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Do you have a scheme to become long-term? Our feature set is second to none, but our compelling schemas and user-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We frequently morph seamless bandwidth reports. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent magnetically than to monetize vertically. What does it really mean to scale "wirelessly"? At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to expedite wirelessly. The re-sizing factor is impactful. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-centric models and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of WAP and ASP. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our capacity to evolve. We think that most innovative web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. Think micro-C2C2B. It may seem impressive, but it's true! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our world-class customer-defined bloatware and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. The niches factor can be summed up in one word: viral. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to incentivize ultra-strategically. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and ASP. It sounds amazing, but it's accurate! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive R&D and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The communities factor is synergistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to architect "magnetically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XML. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of value-added implementation. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Think intra-impactful. Without preplanned infomediaries, applications are forced to become distributed. We will redefine the capacity of networks to actualize. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our markets but our capacity to benchmark. We pride ourselves not only on our six-sigma feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What does it really mean to envisioneer "seamlessly"? Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-third of your budget for utilizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and C++. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of Rails and XMLHttpRequest.