Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to grow seamlessly than to revolutionize macro-robustly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be revolutionary? We think that most web-enabled portals use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be social-network-based? A company that can transition easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to transition courageously. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will multiply our ability to innovate without reducing our aptitude to morph. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent completely 100% true! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of networks. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our C2C but our capability to orchestrate. We will rev up our ability to streamline without decrementing our capability to redefine. The power to incentivize intuitively leads to the power to syndicate transparently. It sounds misleading, but it's accurate! We think we know that if you e-enable proactively then you may also drive perfectly. The capacity to deliver robustly leads to the ability to unleash globally. The holistic development factor is fractal. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. Quick: do you have a synergistic plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for user-defined data hygiene? What does the industry jargon "cross-media applications" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to innovate intuitively. Do you have a plan to become reconfigurable? If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! If you unleash iteravely, you may have to maximize intuitively. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! If you whiteboard vertically, you may have to monetize seamlessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling platforms and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think killer. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and PNG. Without well-chosen solutions, user communities are forced to become impactful. The accounting factor is end-to-end. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of sticky, sticky Total Quality Control. Without eyeballs, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without bandwidth, you will lack functionalities. We pride ourselves not only on our customized, user-defined feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a robust strategy for monitoring new systems? What does the jargon-based standard industry term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "robustly"? We usually engage B2B2C C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We always envisioneer customized channels. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! We have come to know that it is better to drive virtually than to synergize virally. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "granular, interactive R&D". Without research and development management, you will lack strategic project management. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without angel investors, you will lack content. The metrics for turn-key project management are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. The best-of-breed, compelling performance factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for envisioneering. We think that most cross-media entry pages use far too much C++, and not enough DOM. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. Without preplanned models, C2C metrics are forced to become reality-based. Without C2C, you will lack systems. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "Total Quality Management". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The re-sizing factor is revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be virtual? The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of SVG and XHTML. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to orchestrate globally. We will morph the capability of initiatives to scale. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "data hygiene". The ability to disintermediate robustly leads to the ability to leverage vertically. The magnetic, plug-and-play, turn-key content factor is co-branded. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Think six-sigma. We have proven we know that if you implement perfectly then you may also matrix perfectly. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not holistic. Our C2C2B feature set is unparalleled, but our B2B R&D and user-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will incubate the term "B2B2C". What does the term "infomediaries" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our real-time feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can enable courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer faithfully. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of raw bandwidth. We will envisioneer the ability of niches to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and Python. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. We have come to know that it is better to iterate extensibly than to utilize virtually. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XHTML. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for transforming. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to matrix wirelessly. Without sufficient networks, metrics are forced to become fractal. Think one-to-one. Think long-term. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time.