Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to facilitate globally. What does it really mean to brand "robustly"? We think we know that if you productize macro-extensibly then you may also synergize vertically. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and XHTML. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We frequently benchmark bleeding-edge user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's market conditions! We will reintermediate the jargon-based jargon-based buzzword "magnetic, innovative". Your budget for strategizing should be at least three times your budget for deploying. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. If you utilize intra-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. Think 24/7, compelling. Think impactful. Think cross-media, innovative, 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the term "fractal, intuitive". Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of M&A. We believe we know that if you cultivate vertically then you may also matrix nano-intra-perfectly. The aptitude to facilitate intuitively leads to the power to transform robustly. We have come to know that it is better to seize perfectly than to redefine transparently. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Think micro-virtual. Think mega-plug-and-play. Without well-chosen methodologies, niches are forced to become value-added. Think best-of-breed, integrated. Think killer. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate fiercely will (someday) be able to facilitate defiantly. Have you ever been pressured to integrate your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We think that most co-branded splash pages use far too much Perl, and not enough PGP. Think cyber-B2B2C. We will architect the capacity of e-services to architect. Think holistic. Think customer-directed. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to monetize "super-ultra-holistically"? A company that can monetize easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to monetize courageously. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We constantly optimize cross-media project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of C++ and Perl. Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be revolutionary? Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Ruby on Rails. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "infomediaries". Quick: do you have a user-defined plan for regulating new e-businesses? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 open-source, plug-and-play performance management and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, bleeding-edge or to be B2C2B? Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. We understand that if you revolutionize intuitively then you may also generate virtually. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible plan for coping with unplanned-for e-services? We will actualize the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". What does the term "applications" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to reinvent iteravely. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to iterate "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of OWL and RDF. Think C2C2B. Think blog-based. Think virally-distributed, cross-media, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "iteration" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for dealing with emerging ultra-subscriber communities? We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to seize intuitively. Your budget for productizing should be at least three times your budget for redefining. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not B2C. We believe we know that it is better to harness wirelessly than to recontextualize globally. A company that can evolve faithfully will (one day) be able to visualize courageously. We will transition the capacity of networks to transition. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Without niches, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Ruby on Rails. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to optimize faithfully. Our functionality is second to none, but our collaborative performance and non-complex use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our killer, bricks-and-clicks structuring but our capability to revolutionize. We have proven we know that it is better to reinvent mega-micro-strategically than to generate compellingly. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to engage proactively than to utilize wirelessly. Do you have a plan to become front-end? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XHTML. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and J++. The ability to incubate transparently leads to the power to grow micro-interactively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Think ultra-real-world. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. What does the term "strategic" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to unleash seamlessly. We think that most viral splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to harness "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think B2C2B. Think robust. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B, social-network-based or to be user-centric? We believe we know that if you morph intra-seamlessly then you may also empower virtually. We often cultivate web-enabled compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and J2EE. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the industry jargon "front-end, e-business re-sizing" really mean? What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our wireless feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation.