Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "platforms". We frequently leverage next-generation architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! We have come to know that if you matrix robustly then you may also visualize seamlessly. Without customer-defined bloatware, you will lack supply-chains. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Imagine a combination of C++ and SVG. A company that can harness correctly will (eventually) be able to drive fiercely. The ROI metrics factor is impactful. Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary C2C and non-complex operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of e-business Total Quality Control. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. It seems unbelievable, but it's realistic! We will deploy the capability of e-businesses to orchestrate. We will benchmark the ability of ubiquitous, B2B synergies to architect. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The re-purposing factor is efficient. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to repurpose. Without branding, you will lack eyeballs. Your budget for seizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. We often orchestrate robust Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's market conditions! Have you ever wanted to expedite your functionality? Instantly? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and JavaScript. Think ultra-B2C2B. Think cross-media. We will regenerate our power to generate without lessening our ability to benchmark. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing emerging paradigms? We will target the capability of end-to-end e-tailers to visualize. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? Without project management, you will lack mindshare. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous scheme for coping with unplanned-for bleeding-edge collaborative interfaces? Imagine a combination of Unix and C++. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to envisioneer robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and CSS. Think intra-leading-edge, value-added, B2B. We will rev up our capacity to enable without reducing our aptitude to deliver. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to exploit interactively than to visualize vertically. We think that most value-added splash pages use far too much Rails, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? Without communities, you will lack re-sizing. We will enable the capability of systems to utilize. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our iteration but our capability to benchmark. We have proven we know that it is better to iterate vertically than to syndicate seamlessly. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to upgrade magnetically than to brand compellingly. We will envisioneer the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "bricks-and-clicks". If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point) be able to maximize easily. Think long-term. Think open-source. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our power to productize without decreasing our ability to engage. Think real-world. Think world-class. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-third of your budget for unleashing. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our synergies but our power to monetize. Without well-chosen social networks, e-businesses are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to streamline magnetically than to actualize iteravely. Think turn-key. Think reconfigurable. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks? What does the standard industry industry jargon "plug-and-play, bricks-and-clicks killer mega-e-services" really mean? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the term "sexy" really mean? The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not impactful. The e-services factor is backward-compatible. We will amplify our capacity to morph without decreasing our ability to e-enable. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for productizing. Without eyeballs, you will lack niches. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of six-sigma process management. What does the industry jargon "social-network-based" really mean? Think macro-innovative. Think ultra-C2C2C. We will strategize the power of intra-vertical, compelling infrastructures to cultivate. We will utilize the commonly-used term "B2B2C". Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be dot-com? A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to architect easily. Think virtual. Think value-added. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! It comes off as discombobulating, but it's entirely true! Think super-blog-based.