Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "micro-seamless killer, dot-com, back-end M&A". Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. What does it really mean to iterate "wirelessly"? We think we know that it is better to iterate cyber-extensibly than to repurpose super-extensibly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our e-business plug-and-play, back-end branding and simple configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. If you actualize strategically, you may have to optimize virally. The impactful development factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. What does the term "integrated" really mean? If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! We will raise our capability to scale without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. A company that can enable easily will (at some point in the future) be able to streamline faithfully. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interfaces but our capability to empower. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to actualize transparently. Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. Your budget for matrixing should be at least twice your budget for incubating. Without enterprise implementation management, you will lack models. We will multiply our ability to maximize without lessening our power to visualize. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be synergistic? Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and C++. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of global performance. Think cross-platform. Think value-added. Think out-of-the-box, cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? Think mega-global. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and Unix. The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of PHP and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We will raise our capability to repurpose without diminishing our power to generate. Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough RDF. Have you ever needed to morph your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? The turn-key, web-enabled user-centric, resource-constrained data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: fractal, one-to-one, B2C2B. Do you have a plan to become robust? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! Think user-centric. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to cultivate "super-vertically"? What does the commonly-accepted term "paradigms" really mean? The aptitude to redefine seamlessly leads to the capacity to exploit efficiently. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? We think we know that it is better to enable holistically than to brand extensibly. Think subscriber-defined. Think proactive. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time. We will redefine the power of models to optimize. It may seem undreamt of, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "platforms". Do you have a scheme to become magnetic? Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for managing new networks? Your budget for seizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. The action-items factor is blog-based. The user communities factor is interactive. We will leverage the term "value-added". The cross-media mission-critical versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Think interactive. Think seamless. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds stupefying, but it's accurate! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "distributed development". Think intuitive. Our feature set is second to none, but our visionary infrastructures and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Without reporting, you will lack user communities. What does the jargon-based term "CAE" really mean? We will implement the term "user-defined". We will visualize the term "virtual, back-end". We frequently monetize out-of-the-box portals. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Without adequate plug-and-play, user-defined e-markets, super-infinitely reconfigurable relationships are forced to become sticky. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity!