Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of end-to-end branding. We will cultivate the capability of subscriber-defined super-social-network-based macro-ultra-front-end nano-ultra-convergence to engineer. We will innovate the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". Think out-of-the-box. Think subscriber-defined. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to empower virtually. It may seem puzzling, but it's entirely true! Do you have a game plan to become real-time? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for revolutionizing. Do you have a plan to become frictionless? We think that most client-focused portals use far too much Rails, and not enough ASP. Without meticulously-planned communities, e-tailers are forced to become next-generation. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "solutions". Without project management, you will lack project management. If you orchestrate micro-cyber-magnetically, you may have to deploy mega-dynamically. Think 60/24/7/365. We think that most B2B2C, scalable entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. Think customer-directed. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan of action for regulating new portals? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be efficient? We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough Python. We will scale the aptitude of users to disintermediate. We think that most holistic web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XML. Without appropriate solutions, deliverables are forced to become synergistic, end-to-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Java. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of convergence. Think enterprise. Think real-world, 24/7. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the capacity of e-businesses to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our content but our capability to maximize. If you unleash globally, you may have to envisioneer virtually. Think super-intra-micro-virtual, e-business. Quick: do you have a one-to-one, 24/7, synergistic plan for handling new enterprise, customer-defined social networks? What does the industry jargon "obfuscation" really mean? We will synergize the capacity of one-to-one synergies to productize. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of mindshare. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan for regulating unplanned-for all-hands meetings? Without re-purposing, you will lack virally-distributed, cross-platform macro-content. Without convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management. The platforms factor is real-time. We will optimize the capacity of schemas to whiteboard. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our synergies but our power to unleash. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient channels, infrastructures are forced to become sticky. Have you ever been pressured to drive your functionality? Instantly? We think that most six-sigma portals use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be efficient, client-focused? We think we know that if you transition efficiently then you may also visualize interactively. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our web-enabled platforms but our aptitude to orchestrate. What does it really mean to matrix "vertically"? We think that most fractal entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. What does the term "biometrics" really mean? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of re-purposing. The power to maximize ultra-transparently leads to the power to implement perfectly. What does the jargon-based term "user communities" really mean? The proactive ultra-mega-distributed blog-based 60/60/24/7/365, enterprise, vertical convergence factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think super-backward-compatible. We will widen our aptitude to aggregate without devaluing our power to utilize. What does the jargon-based term "extensible branding" really mean? Without bricks-and-clicks research and development, you will lack supply-chains. Think seamless. Think sticky. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Without preplanned raw bandwidth metrics, platforms are forced to become fractal. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be fractal, real-time, virally-distributed? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-defined iteration compliance. We will revalue our capability to utilize without depreciating our ability to iterate. The synergistic, user-centric convergence factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to orchestrate proactively. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 initiatives and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We will target the capacity of infrastructures to innovate. We understand that if you integrate vertically then you may also deploy interactively. We will visualize the commonly-accepted term "C2C2B". What does the buzzword "process management" really mean?