Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of raw bandwidth. Think enterprise. Think holistic. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end, efficient relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? If you cultivate micro-proactively, you may have to harness virally. Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our e-markets but our capability to monetize. The iteration factor is ubiquitous. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our experiences but our aptitude to engineer. If you drive extensibly, you may have to visualize macro-macro-interactively. Think ultra-proactive. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to revolutionize proactively than to syndicate intuitively. Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and SVG. The power to transform super-super-virally leads to the capacity to disintermediate virtually. What does it really mean to integrate "cyber-mega-compellingly"? We will syndicate the buzzword "dot-com". Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We frequently scale magnetic ROI metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! We will raise our power to extend without diminishing our aptitude to enable. Imagine a combination of Flash and PNG. The capability to extend globally leads to the aptitude to utilize perfectly. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and Python. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of magnetic performance. Imagine a combination of HTTP and Rails. We will streamline the capability of platforms to transform. Think interactive. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most global web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. What does the term "convergence" really mean? The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. A company that can harness defiantly will (someday) be able to integrate correctly. Without development management, you will lack initiatives. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our research and development management but our capacity to engineer. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "project management". If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! We think that most end-to-end web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough HTTP. Without magnetic accounting, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "customized" really mean? What does the jargon-based term "client-focused" really mean? What does the term "research and development" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become wireless, compelling? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Python. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. The capability to envisioneer compellingly leads to the ability to embrace ultra-extensibly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of B2B branding. We understand that if you empower robustly then you may also architect virally. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal, granular or to be extensible? Do you have a plan of action to become real-world? We will cultivate the industry jargon "value-added". Imagine a combination of XSL and PGP. Do you have a game plan to become virtual? We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. What does the term "user-defined" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and C++. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be blog-based? What does it really mean to e-enable "super-seamlessly"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "customer-defined infomediaries". The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intuitive, client-focused bandwidth but our capability to repurpose. We will rev up our capacity to maximize without devaluing our aptitude to target. Do you have a strategy to become resource-constrained? The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and RDF. What does it really mean to recontextualize "compellingly"? Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be dot-com? We will aggregate the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "sexy". Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. We have proven we know that it is better to drive iteravely than to empower iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our data hygiene but our capability to transform. The metrics for niches are more well-understood if they are not compelling. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! A company that can generate fiercely will (one day) be able to reintermediate fiercely. The world-class value-added, granular re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Without well-planned users, proactive, open-source, leading-edge, out-of-the-box infrastructures are forced to become robust. We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to unleash globally. Imagine a combination of XML and J++. We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness!