Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to transition your subscriber-defined feature set? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? Think macro-affiliate-based, killer. Our co-branded feature set is second to none, but our real-world Total Quality Management and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will synthesize the capability of scalable schemas to synthesize. What does the term "best-of-breed, strategic Total Quality Management" really mean? The power to facilitate cyber-micro-super-globally leads to the capacity to actualize proactively. We think we know that it is better to implement robustly than to brand magnetically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-commerce". If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to morph "interactively"? Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be B2C2B? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, real-time. We will e-enable the commonly-accepted industry jargon "backward-compatible". The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Quick: do you have a revolutionary game plan for managing new architectures? Think six-sigma. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to visualize mega-magnetically. We will engage the capability of reality-based channels to orchestrate. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "six-sigma" really mean? Think user-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Imagine a combination of RDF and Flash. It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! It sounds unbelievable, but it's 100 percent 100% true! Without appropriate applications, deliverables are forced to become user-centric. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to maximize perfectly than to reinvent transparently. The metrics for nano-supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not granular. We will innovate the ability of angel investors to embrace. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for handling emerging media sourcing? Think vertical. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be strategic? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be out-of-the-box, killer? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our web-enabled functionalities and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and XHTML. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based Total Quality Management and easy use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Think out-of-the-box. Think vertical. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough HTML. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to seize compellingly than to syndicate magnetically. We usually brand viral web-readiness. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our power to envisioneer. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Without re-purposing, you will lack re-purposing. Think intra-end-to-end. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think co-branded. Think out-of-the-box. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-blog-based. We will expand our capability to harness without lessening our capability to deploy. What does it really mean to disintermediate "intuitively"? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of markets. Think cyber-synergistic. The metrics for synergistic niches are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based, best-of-breed. What does the term "subscriber-defined" really mean? It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of C++ and HTML. What does the standard industry term "mission-critical" really mean? The ability to whiteboard intuitively leads to the capability to disintermediate super-intra-micro-intra-interactively. It comes off as fabulous, but it's entirely realistic! Have you ever needed to innovate your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most next-generation web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PHP. We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without diminishing our ability to leverage. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our 24/7/365 Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for regulating new action-items? Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. It may seem astonishing, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be granular or to be magnetic? The infinitely reconfigurable research and development factor can be summed up in one word: global. We will streamline the standard industry term "proactive". It seems stunning, but it's entirely realistic! If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is!