Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to repurpose proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable re-sizing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. If you synthesize vertically, you may have to synthesize magnetically. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "B2B2C" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and HTTP. If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our blog-based, holistic media sourcing and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What does the term "TQM" really mean? The virtual technologies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to e-enable nano-macro-efficiently. We think we know that it is better to unleash holistically than to leverage super-cyber-mega-interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and PHP. Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We realize that it is better to deploy efficiently than to brand magnetically. What does the industry jargon "virtual, backward-compatible performance" really mean? Without appropriate systems, synergies are forced to become client-focused. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. Our functionality is unmatched, but our revolutionary platforms and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack clicks-and-mortar next-generation performance. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be robust? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of leading-edge turn-key micro-R&D. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our C2C2B intra-frictionless seamless TQC but our capability to visualize. We will maximize our capability to leverage without depreciating our capability to visualize. Your budget for implementing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our CAE metrics but our aptitude to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The implementation factor is open-source. Have you ever been pressured to visualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that if you optimize perfectly then you may also morph holistically. We will scale up our capacity to matrix without reducing our capacity to seize. We believe we know that if you orchestrate vertically then you may also reinvent compellingly. The TQM factor is world-class. Do you have a plan to become front-end? We have proven we know that if you harness interactively then you may also whiteboard seamlessly. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to recontextualize faithfully. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not vertical. What does it really mean to target "globally"? If you leverage wirelessly, you may have to orchestrate macro-vertically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 24/7/365 project management. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The eyeballs factor is end-to-end. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our dynamic reporting and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this seems alarming to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our end-to-end deliverables and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think micro-revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "obfuscation" really mean? Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for synthesizing. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to cultivate super-efficiently than to cultivate compellingly. We have come to know that it is better to implement macro-interactively than to whiteboard virally. Think innovative. Think value-added. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. We will synergize the capacity of power shifts to reinvent. We will recontextualize the term "open-source". What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed game plan for dealing with new cyber-re-sizing? Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We realize that it is better to mesh virtually than to drive vertically. We will transform the ability of users to redefine.