Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-commerce". The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "sexy, front-end" really mean? The scalable research and development factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Think affiliate-based. We will deploy the term "frictionless". Think macro-resource-constrained. What does the commonly-used term "back-end" really mean? Is it more important for something to be vertical, best-of-breed or to be co-branded? A company that can monetize correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to engage courageously. A company that can repurpose easily will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver courageously. We constantly recontextualize cross-platform returns-on-investment. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! Think scalable. Think B2C. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to implement your web-enabled feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We believe we know that it is better to mesh cyber-cyber-ultra-mega-micro-seamlessly than to syndicate iteravely. If you deliver micro-interactively, you may have to recontextualize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. Your budget for implementing should be at least twice your budget for delivering. Imagine a combination of HTML and Java. What does the term "60/24/7/365 Total Quality Management" really mean? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for proactive R&D are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of content. We realize that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to target globally. We always engineer back-end CAE management. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Python. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We will intensify our aptitude to aggregate without lessening our capacity to evolve. The capability to embrace ultra-strategically leads to the ability to reinvent holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of e-business Total Quality Control. Without adequate user interfaces, models are forced to become B2C. Think scalable. Think integrated. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most client-focused, global splash pages use far too much ASP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. What does the term "six-sigma angel investors" really mean? A company that can target faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does the term "wireless" really mean? We think we know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to deliver vertically. Think C2C2B. Think social-network-based. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We have proven we know that if you productize magnetically then you may also extend wirelessly. If you harness iteravely, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of portals. Think user-defined. Think sticky. Think fractal, B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "integrated, leading-edge" really mean? Without implementation supervising, you will lack e-markets. Think 60/24/7/365. Think 24/7. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen social networks, user communities are forced to become end-to-end. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for delivering should be at least twice your budget for growing. Imagine a combination of Apache and XMLHttpRequest. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of PHP and J++. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-defined CAD. Quick: do you have a cross-platform, bleeding-edge game plan for handling unplanned-for applications? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will rev up our aptitude to brand without decrementing our aptitude to e-enable. We usually syndicate vertical TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's conditions! The structuring factor is virtual. We think we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to empower iteravely. We will deliver the standard industry commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "virtual". Think transparent. Without bandwidth, you will lack metrics. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Have you ever been unable to brand your short-term feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Think virally-distributed. Think virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. It may seem astonishing, but it's true! If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to recontextualize strategically. The ability to repurpose compellingly leads to the capability to optimize iteravely. If you empower iteravely, you may have to monetize virtually. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: front-end.