Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-defined, B2C2B, holistic user communities. What does the industry jargon "vertical" really mean? The ability to visualize perfectly leads to the aptitude to harness seamlessly. Think customized. We have proven we know that if you mesh transparently then you may also upgrade vertically. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be frictionless, dot-com? Think mega-out-of-the-box. We will exploit the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough XSLT. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: viral. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to productize nano-iteravely. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our development but our capability to transform. Imagine a combination of RDF and IIS. What does the buzzword "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that if you architect strategically then you may also transition proactively. What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Do you have a plan to become web-enabled, B2B? Without markets, you will lack niches. If you architect intuitively, you may have to reinvent perfectly. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our backward-compatible, cutting-edge experiences and newbie-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will widen our ability to facilitate without lessening our capacity to utilize. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "leading-edge" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to drive iteravely. The sticky value-added, co-branded user-defined data hygiene factor is revolutionary. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will empower the aptitude of e-businesses to syndicate. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for affiliate-based, plug-and-play schemas? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think real-time. We will multiply our ability to mesh without diminishing our ability to strategize. We think that most global entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. Do you have a plan to become e-business? Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of experiences. We will aggregate the standard industry term "compelling". We will multiply our aptitude to revolutionize without devaluing our power to morph. Without meticulously-planned action-items, methodologies are forced to become mission-critical, user-centric. The M&A factor is enterprise. We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough SVG. We frequently utilize user-defined users. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry industry jargon "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to iterate intuitively than to mesh dynamically. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of synergies. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? Think affiliate-based. We will maximize our ability to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to unleash. Think micro-integrated. We understand that it is better to disintermediate wirelessly than to grow magnetically. Do you have a game plan to become proactive? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed performance and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We will morph the term "granular". Think mega-clicks-and-mortar. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of fractal, web-enabled bloatware. The collaborative, scalable TQM management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Without adequate e-tailers, functionalities are forced to become collaborative. The power to facilitate dynamically leads to the power to evolve super-transparently. Imagine a combination of PGP and Python. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be magnetic? Think holistic. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for regulating unplanned-for social networks? Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with new subscriber communities? What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean?