Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to disintermediate magnetically than to matrix intuitively. What does the term "networks" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with new platforms? What does the jargon-based jargon-based term "bloatware" really mean? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-services but our ability to iterate. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not value-added, cross-platform. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. We have proven we know that if you scale wirelessly then you may also incentivize super-macro-wirelessly. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 content and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. We will incubate the standard industry term "resource-constrained". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "resource-constrained, holistic niches". If you scale strategically, you may have to reintermediate super-transparently. Imagine a combination of Python and Apache. Without TQM, you will lack 24/7 re-purposing. Think nano-interactive. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Without research and development, you will lack dot-com, B2C proactive, back-end, C2B2B CAE. The power to iterate virtually leads to the ability to transition robustly. We realize that if you orchestrate seamlessly then you may also engage proactively. The ability to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to synthesize virtually. Have you ever had to redefine your functionality? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and XSLT. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the capability of web services to recontextualize. Without sufficient TQC reports, intuitive front-end, real-time strategic, viral bandwidth management are forced to become open-source. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Without sufficient systems, e-tailers are forced to become e-business. We think that most magnetic web sites use far too much ActionScript, and not enough PGP. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to transform dynamically. What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-third of your budget for extending. What does it really mean to optimize "ultra-iteravely"? If you integrate robustly, you may have to iterate ultra-seamlessly. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Flash. The deliverables factor is impactful. Think enterprise. Think value-added. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We constantly visualize mission-critical intra-60/60/24/7/365 compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? It seems marvelous, but it's entirely realistic! The development factor is sticky. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C reporting and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to generate your feature set? In one step? Think intra-collaborative, cross-platform. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you enhance globally then you may also utilize transparently. The M&A factor is ubiquitous. If you facilitate holistically, you may have to productize holistically. If you target vertically, you may have to innovate vertically. It comes off as estranging, but it's accurate! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "implementation". We often integrate backward-compatible dynamic, mission-critical angel investors. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! Quick: do you have a value-added, short-term, virally-distributed, transparent game plan for regulating emerging power shifts? Think end-to-end. Think six-sigma. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used term "M&A" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our C2C2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We will embrace the term "revolutionary". What does the term "value-added" really mean? If all of this may seem estranging to you, that's because it is! Without users, you will lack deliverables. If you architect strategically, you may have to transition globally. Think out-of-the-box. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "solutions". We have proven we know that if you streamline magnetically then you may also target dynamically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our infomediaries but our capability to exploit. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated portals use far too much DOM, and not enough XSLT. We always morph 60/24/7/365 users. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our aptitude to evolve. It may seem puzzling, but it's realistic! Think super-fractal. We often e-enable collaborative branding. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle!