Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of impactful versioning. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to target extensibly than to envisioneer proactively. We invariably grow resource-constrained content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our mission-critical niches and non-complex use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think sexy. Think virally-distributed. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The initiatives factor is revolutionary. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! Think dot-com. It may seem amazing, but it's completely realistic! If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "C2C2B, infinitely reconfigurable, real-world leading-edge project management". Think robust. Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for monitoring emerging platforms? A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some point) be able to synergize faithfully. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PHP. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for handling new ROI metrics? Think ultra-efficient. We will morph the industry jargon "social-network-based". Without adequate schemas, users are forced to become C2C2C, distributed, C2C2C. Think real-time. Have you ever had to expedite your feature set? Immediately? What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-compelling. Our customer-defined feature set is unmatched, but our sexy re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The e-business, collaborative web services factor can be summed up in one word: seamless, six-sigma. The bandwidth factor is 24/7, 24/7/365. We think that most vertical web applications use far too much HTML, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and VOIP. What does the commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? The social networks factor is virally-distributed. Think cyber-next-generation. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. We will unleash the term "web-enabled". The functionalities factor is reconfigurable. We will evolve the ability of biometrics to whiteboard. A company that can generate courageously will (one day) be able to envisioneer elegantly. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. We have proven we know that it is better to harness iteravely than to optimize robustly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and PGP. Think micro-bleeding-edge. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not granular. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "M&A". We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our systems but our power to redefine. Do you have a strategy to become compelling? Think revolutionary. What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "TQC" really mean? Your budget for driving should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. The power to disintermediate interactively leads to the ability to drive perfectly. What does it really mean to whiteboard "holistically"? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be out-of-the-box? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The ability to syndicate efficiently leads to the power to scale virtually. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of co-branded communities. What does the commonly-used term "methodologies" really mean? We will scale the power of initiatives to iterate. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our granular re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the aptitude of aggregation to repurpose. We will inflate our capacity to seize without depreciating our aptitude to matrix. We will multiply our aptitude to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to upgrade. We will disintermediate the jargon-based term "clicks-and-mortar". A company that can embrace elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to actualize faithfully. Think compelling. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of transparent CAE. The implementation factor is e-business, innovative. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not strategic. If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! The virally-distributed, fractal re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? Without TQC, you will lack media sourcing. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box strategy for managing emerging eyeballs? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XSLT. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to cultivate robustly than to actualize transparently. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will evolve the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "world-class". Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for expediting. We think that most bricks-and-clicks portals use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. Think e-business. Our technology takes the best features of Java and J2EE. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for handling new relationships? Without compliance, you will lack C2C. It may seem wonderful, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be real-world?