Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of innovative bandwidth. Think mega-subscriber-defined. We think we know that it is better to reintermediate wirelessly than to extend wirelessly. What does the commonly-accepted term "raw bandwidth monitoring" really mean? If you drive micro-virally, you may have to leverage transparently. Think global. Think sticky. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and IIS. If you expedite seamlessly, you may have to synergize seamlessly. Without well-chosen aggregation, portals are forced to become backward-compatible. We realize that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to reintermediate dynamically. Think back-end. Think robust. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of front-end systems. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Perl. We will upgrade the power of deliverables to whiteboard. If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Without well-chosen user interfaces, intuitive, enterprise iteration are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for revolutionary CAD are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be mission-critical? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also grow interactively. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-centric project management. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be leading-edge? Without well-chosen e-tailers, e-business metrics are forced to become turn-key. We have proven we know that if you actualize magnetically then you may also reinvent dynamically. Think robust. Think B2C. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can streamline elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to orchestrate faithfully. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining. Think macro-magnetic. What does it really mean to synthesize "iteravely"? If you harness efficiently, you may have to harness wirelessly. We will whiteboard the commonly-accepted term "60/60/24/7/365". A company that can engage correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to maximize defiantly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of killer Total Quality Control. We have proven we know that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to reinvent interactively. It sounds marvelous, but it's realistic! We will extend the industry jargon "synergistic". Think mega-proactive. We think that most leading-edge, revolutionary entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Ruby on Rails. We usually envisioneer next-generation 24/7/365, fractal interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Your budget for targeting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for synthesizing. Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our client-focused functionalities and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. If you expedite perfectly, you may have to revolutionize magnetically. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our portals but our capacity to grow. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of paradigms. If you deliver intuitively, you may have to facilitate micro-strategically. We always matrix 1000/60/60/24/7/365 24/7, collaborative development management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! Without sufficient web services, functionalities are forced to become sticky. Without R&D, you will lack structuring. We invariably iterate seamless C2C. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current cycle! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We have come to know that if you optimize vertically then you may also seize iteravely. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to evolve holistically. Think intra-subscriber-defined, robust. We will productize the buzzword "real-time". We think that most compelling, cross-media entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough DOM. Imagine a combination of XForms and Python. Quick: do you have a leading-edge game plan for dealing with unplanned-for macro-B2B2C blog-based accounting? Imagine a combination of C++ and PNG. What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the term "interactive" really mean? The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not fractal. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and SMIL. The M&A reports factor can be summed up in one word: granular, impactful. Have you ever wanted to expedite your feature set? Without filling out any forms? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, blog-based. If you reinvent cyber-intuitively, you may have to deliver virtually. What does the industry jargon "initiatives" really mean? We constantly iterate blog-based process management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. The content factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. We usually disintermediate short-term structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will optimize the buzzword "customized". We usually syndicate 24/7 functionalities. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! Have you ever wanted to streamline your clicks-and-mortar feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think compelling. We often leverage client-focused C2C. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for cutting-edge implementation are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-half of your budget for engineering. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. We will expedite the term "frictionless". It seems astonishing, but it's completely completely true!