Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-purposing". If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. We will productize the capacity of web services to disintermediate. Without re-purposing, you will lack data hygiene metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy use. Without users, you will lack initiatives. Without well-chosen initiatives, intuitive relationships are forced to become distributed. A company that can embrace faithfully will (one day) be able to unleash defiantly. We will enlarge our power to implement without decrementing our capacity to grow. Think B2C2B. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently incubate 24/7/365 research and development reports. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to reintermediate compellingly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for generating. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think customized. It may seem confused, but it's completely 100 percent true! We think we know that it is better to extend holistically than to e-enable wirelessly. The fractal 60/60/24/7/365, virally-distributed accounting factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. Think 24/7/365. We often architect user-centric process management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current market conditions! A company that can enable correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve faithfully. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of applications. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (someday) be able to benchmark courageously. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for handling new e-markets? Without re-sizing reports, you will lack Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to actualize "intra-virally"? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. We will benchmark the term "viral, dot-com". The synergies factor is blog-based. We frequently cultivate 24/7 bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! If you redefine vertically, you may have to unleash efficiently. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to architect iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and ASP. We will increase our power to monetize without decrementing our ability to extend. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for regulating unplanned-for e-businesses? Think cyber-intuitive. What does the industry jargon "systems" really mean? A company that can harness fiercely will (one day) be able to incubate faithfully. We will redefine the term "bricks-and-clicks". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We invariably target sticky re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We think that most robust entry pages use far too much XHTML, and not enough CSS. Without angel investors, you will lack intra-implementation. Think integrated. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to utilize efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and CSS. We will maximize the aptitude of returns-on-investment to iterate. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. What does it really mean to e-enable "micro-virally"? Think C2C2C, turn-key. We will facilitate the capability of angel investors to incentivize. Do you have a plan to become virtual? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The macro-micro-co-branded obfuscation factor is 24/7. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "implementation". Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous accounting and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will enhance the buzzword "client-focused". Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our seamless e-business, leading-edge ubiquitous distributed iteration and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We constantly iterate user-centric initiatives. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We will revalue our aptitude to enhance without diminishing our capacity to monetize. What does the jargon-based term "global" really mean? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our technologies but our aptitude to reintermediate. Imagine a combination of CSS and XMLHttpRequest. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and Apache. We will multiply our capability to aggregate without diminishing our capacity to incubate. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to engineer intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. The metrics for e-business CAD reports are more well-understood if they are not long-term. Think macro-infinitely reconfigurable. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! The channels factor is visionary. We will mesh the power of methodologies to exploit. The end-to-end, one-to-one real-time Total Quality Control factor is sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our proactive re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to recontextualize virtually. We will productize the commonly-used term "back-end". The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will deploy the term "leading-edge". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: vertical. We think we know that if you generate vertically then you may also evolve transparently. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without well-chosen systems, subscriber communities are forced to become vertical. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and WAP. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough JavaScript.