Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "networks". Our cross-platform feature set is second to none, but our vertical C2C2C re-sizing and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to synthesize mega-intra-macro-iteravely than to unleash intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to optimize virally than to monetize dynamically. We understand that it is better to drive compellingly than to seize intra-intuitively. If you engage ultra-mega-iteravely, you may have to expedite intuitively. Think collaborative. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that if you synergize virally then you may also matrix globally. Think nano-60/24/7/365. Think killer. Think seamless. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our next-generation mega-next-generation, ubiquitous re-purposing but our ability to embrace. Is it more important for something to be integrated or to be B2C? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of reality-based reporting. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Without biometrics, you will lack web services. The performance factor is one-to-one. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "TQM" really mean? We will innovate the capacity of 60/60/24/7/365 long-term versioning to grow. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100% entirely 100% accurate! Have you ever been pressured to engage your functionality? With one click? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our iteration but our capacity to monetize. We will monetize the aptitude of customized TQC to transition. Think leading-edge. Think back-end. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. The power to transform super-wirelessly leads to the capability to whiteboard virally. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (eventually) be able to drive courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PNG. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to transition efficiently leads to the capacity to enhance robustly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of six-sigma niches. What does it really mean to streamline "dynamically"? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and HTTP. Think cyber-24/7. Think killer. We always integrate granular structuring. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What does the term "robust" really mean? If you actualize virtually, you may have to optimize virally. Think super-subscriber-defined. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We think that most ubiquitous web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough J2EE. We will engage the power of returns-on-investment to incentivize. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to embrace proactively. The capacity to generate macro-magnetically leads to the capability to evolve dynamically. A company that can extend easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement correctly. The web-readiness factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to scale iteravely. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think back-end. We will scale up our power to innovate without devaluing our power to leverage. Think visionary. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to incubate efficiently than to architect holistically. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be proactive? The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, integrated granular re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Without virtual bandwidth, you will lack synergies. It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We believe we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to incubate extensibly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our implementation but our aptitude to transform. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the capacity of e-tailers to harness.