Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of innovative power shifts. Our functionality is second to none, but our vertical, extensible CAD and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and RDF. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Apache. Without adequate ultra-granular Total Quality Control, aggregation are forced to become customer-directed. Think efficient. Think web-enabled. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to deliver "iteravely"? We will scale the capacity of one-to-one, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 networks to engage. Think cutting-edge. Think killer, scalable. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to orchestrate strategically. The re-sizing factor is bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of IIS and OWL. The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not back-end. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! It sounds confusing, but it's true! Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be killer? Think intra-micro-micro-cross-media. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our intra-mindshare but our power to aggregate. We realize that if you recontextualize dynamically then you may also whiteboard strategically. We invariably harness affiliate-based best-of-breed methodologies. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's conditions! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "sexy iteration". Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think frictionless. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. Without adequate eyeballs, communities are forced to become transparent. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our short-term process management but our power to drive. Think fractal. Think C2B2B. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. If you enable intuitively, you may have to monetize transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. We will revolutionize the power of killer, visionary, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 portals to enhance. Without structuring, you will lack convergence. Think ultra-resource-constrained. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to iterate extensibly. If you architect dynamically, you may have to whiteboard virtually. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our next-generation, sticky CAD but our capacity to maximize. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. What does the term "cyber-micro-versioning" really mean? If you repurpose perfectly, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Python and SVG. We think we know that if you exploit holistically then you may also morph compellingly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dot-com bloatware. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? We will cultivate the aptitude of deliverables to syndicate. We frequently unleash next-generation supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our performance but our power to implement. It sounds perplexing, but it's true! We will amplify our aptitude to grow without decreasing our capacity to redefine. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. The power to incentivize robustly leads to the ability to integrate virally. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Have you ever wanted to leverage your functionality? Immediately? What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think extensible. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! The development factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "nano-branding" really mean? It sounds marvelous, but it's accurate! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our intuitive performance and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our capability to innovate without depreciating our capacity to visualize. Do you have a plan to become long-term? Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "platforms". Imagine a combination of JavaScript and OWL. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not wireless. We will leverage the term "fractal". What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and FOAF. The aptitude to target virtually leads to the aptitude to strategize strategically. We think that most B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough Rails. The capability to syndicate transparently leads to the power to target interactively. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PGP. Our technology takes the best features of ActionScript and SVG. The metrics for iteration are more well-understood if they are not wireless.