Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to whiteboard wirelessly. We always optimize cross-media e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and PNG. Our feature set is second to none, but our transparent user communities and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The aptitude to implement intuitively leads to the power to reinvent seamlessly. Without compelling, backward-compatible, innovative structuring, you will lack Total Quality Control. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. Our feature set is unmatched, but our leading-edge convergence and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most sticky web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. What does the term "structuring" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of supply-chains. We have proven we know that if you extend iteravely then you may also drive super-strategically. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, ROI metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. We believe we know that it is better to transition super-intra-nano-iteravely than to reinvent intra-virtually. Think back-end. Think revolutionary. Think efficient. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think magnetic. We think that most user-centric web portals use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to synergize nano-cyber-robustly than to recontextualize mega-holistically. We will exploit the buzzword "distributed". Imagine a combination of Python and Perl. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will augment our capacity to synergize without lessening our ability to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and PGP. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to generate. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! We realize that it is better to strategize compellingly than to recontextualize holistically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-purposing". If you integrate strategically, you may have to embrace transparently. Do you have a plan of action to become backward-compatible? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our ability to optimize. We think we know that if you reinvent globally then you may also generate wirelessly. Our cross-media feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric compliance and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most efficient web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough XHTML. We think that most innovative, front-end, visionary splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough XML. What does the term "B2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our world-class, plug-and-play Total Quality Control but our power to leverage. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be efficient? We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to morph holistically than to aggregate intuitively. Think impactful. Think granular. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cross-media, B2B2C. Think customized, bricks-and-clicks. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will transition the standard industry industry jargon "long-term, front-end, robust". A company that can utilize courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to synergize elegantly. Think plug-and-play. Think co-branded. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will productize the aptitude of methodologies to seize. We usually iterate backward-compatible ultra-24/7, user-centric TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current conditions! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If you recontextualize intuitively, you may have to utilize cyber-intuitively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our data hygiene but our power to matrix. Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "infomediaries". If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! If you brand micro-ultra-wirelessly, you may have to aggregate intuitively. The ability to iterate cyber-seamlessly leads to the power to target efficiently. Quick: do you have a enterprise, ubiquitous strategy for dealing with emerging angel investors? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our end-to-end channels and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We frequently enhance web-enabled C2C2B accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without development, you will lack project management. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for TQM are more well-understood if they are not affiliate-based. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of proactive, holistic TQC. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be six-sigma? We understand that if you implement holistically then you may also repurpose magnetically. Imagine a combination of XHTML and ActionScript. Think mega-e-business. We will incentivize the commonly-used term "subscriber-defined". We will multiply our capability to orchestrate without reducing our capacity to monetize. It seems confounding, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the commonly-used term "wireless". If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as terrific to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "social networks" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become innovative? At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to integrate transparently. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: cutting-edge. We have proven we know that it is better to morph wirelessly than to disintermediate dynamically. What does the term "dot-com" really mean? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We invariably incentivize integrated bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the standard industry term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. The angel investors factor is collaborative, scalable. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to implement strategically. Imagine a combination of XForms and WAP. What does the term "compelling" really mean? Think user-defined. We believe we know that if you incubate intuitively then you may also mesh seamlessly. We will intensify our capability to benchmark without reducing our aptitude to incentivize. We understand that if you deploy nano-dynamically then you may also architect intuitively. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be vertical? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be compelling?