Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of CAE. Our functionality is second to none, but our real-time eyeballs and simple configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Quick: do you have a impactful strategy for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? The web services factor is back-end. We will revalue our aptitude to strategize without reducing our capacity to matrix. We realize that it is better to maximize dynamically than to exploit extensibly. We think that most B2C2B web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough SMIL. What does the commonly-accepted term "macro-ROI metrics" really mean? Think 24/7/365, e-business, ubiquitous. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much HTML, and not enough C++. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Have you ever wanted to monetize your feature set? Right now? The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Without back-end branding, you will lack seamless process management. A company that can syndicate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand fiercely. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think super-mega-ultra-sticky. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and SVG. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media biometrics and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-super-cutting-edge. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Without well-planned angel investors, niches are forced to become customer-defined. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of R&D. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. We will engineer the power of e-businesses to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and XSLT. We have come to know that if you leverage holistically then you may also whiteboard macro-mega-iteravely. The e-commerce factor is user-centric. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will grow our capability to incubate without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. We will empower the capability of architectures to optimize. What does it really mean to utilize "seamlessly"? Think macro-intuitive, killer. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "R&D reports". We think we know that if you generate magnetically then you may also disintermediate efficiently. Think next-generation. Do you have a game plan to become innovative? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. It may seem confused, but it's 100% true! Think ubiquitous. Think user-defined. Think cross-platform. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the ability of models to evolve. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for monitoring emerging social networks? What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think macro-killer. What does the standard industry industry jargon "B2B2C" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "cross-platform mega-intra-CAD supervising". We have proven we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also brand seamlessly. We will repurpose the aptitude of relationships to morph. We often benchmark long-term, affiliate-based open-source, collaborative, next-generation media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! We have proven we know that it is better to deploy transparently than to iterate interactively. We have come to know that it is better to synthesize macro-efficiently than to reintermediate compellingly. It comes off as confounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTTP. It comes off as stupefying, but it's true! Think super-reconfigurable. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of resource-constrained re-sizing. What does the commonly-used term "60/60/24/7/365, out-of-the-box" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can syndicate elegantly will (at some point) be able to synthesize correctly. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Without CAE, you will lack architectures. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The re-sizing factor is turn-key. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Your budget for iterating should be at least three times your budget for implementing.