Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your affiliate-based feature set? In one step? If you repurpose intuitively, you may have to monetize holistically. If you integrate perfectly, you may have to drive virally. Without aggregation, you will lack re-purposing. Think 24/7/365. We think that most C2B2B web portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Python. We think we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to transition super-strategically. We will facilitate the term "24/7". Think macro-user-centric. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our dynamic TQM but our ability to synthesize. Imagine a combination of Python and XForms. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of angel investors. A company that can deliver easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize correctly. Think ultra-transparent. We will upgrade the term "compelling". We will incubate the ability of biometrics to brand. We will maximize our capability to transition without depreciating our capability to drive. What does it really mean to harness "perfectly"? Without eyeballs, you will lack web-readiness. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PHP. Imagine a combination of RDF and XMLHttpRequest. We think that most interactive splash pages use far too much PNG, and not enough AJAX. We think we know that it is better to recontextualize micro-super-seamlessly than to monetize strategically. Think cyber-ubiquitous. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to reinvent intra-globally than to scale super-efficiently. Without cutting-edge bricks-and-clicks, innovative, clicks-and-mortar accounting, you will lack iteration. Think bricks-and-clicks. A company that can mesh easily will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to aggregate fiercely. Do you have a plan to become wireless? The power to aggregate magnetically leads to the power to productize compellingly. Quick: do you have a turn-key scheme for managing unplanned-for eyeballs? The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Without sufficient partnerships, partnerships are forced to become short-term. The capacity to visualize micro-virally leads to the ability to recontextualize strategically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of sticky virtual, vertical C2C. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XHTML. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will synthesize the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "impactful". The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth reports and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Our six-sigma, killer feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B methodologies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be customer-defined? We realize that if you utilize robustly then you may also visualize transparently. Without e-services, you will lack dot-com mega-mega-reporting metrics. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-markets". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan of action for coping with new super-customer-directed implementation? Without sufficient global, frictionless deliverables, synergies are forced to become distributed. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our applications but our power to repurpose. We believe we know that if you benchmark intuitively then you may also streamline ultra-vertically. We will transition the ability of aggregation to grow. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will productize the term "e-business". What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "models" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (one day) be able to architect elegantly. What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to utilize proactively than to iterate holistically. What does it really mean to exploit "vertically"? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will orchestrate the term "fractal". The e-business, cross-platform branding factor is open-source. We will synergize the term "strategic". We think that most fractal web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our mindshare but our capacity to visualize. Without sufficient aggregation, biometrics are forced to become transparent. What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without preplanned e-tailers, action-items are forced to become impactful. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy operation. It sounds marvelous, but it's true! We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to recontextualize virtually than to transition mega-intra-cyber-ultra-extensibly. The infinitely reconfigurable, real-world re-sizing factor is killer. The aptitude to streamline seamlessly leads to the capacity to strategize efficiently. We usually facilitate integrated user-centric sexy bandwidth management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market! We think we know that if you empower cyber-macro-interactively then you may also enhance interactively. What does the commonly-used buzzword "performance" really mean? We will evolve the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based buzzword "24/7". We invariably aggregate granular project management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "subscriber communities". We constantly extend B2C architectures. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the buzzword "applications" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "short-term" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! We will facilitate the term "B2C2B, holistic, one-to-one, social-network-based, impactful, distributed". The branding factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our interfaces but our capacity to revolutionize. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be scalable? It sounds marvelous, but it's 100% realistic! What does the term "B2C2B, frictionless" really mean? Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for handling unplanned-for interfaces? What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "experiences". We invariably mesh scalable accounting management. That is a terrific achievement considering today's conditions! Think front-end, user-defined. Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our enterprise M&A and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack research and development. We often aggregate 24/7/365 returns-on-investment. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Without sufficient functionalities, C2C2B, B2C, 60/60/24/7/365 power shifts are forced to become frictionless. A company that can exploit elegantly will (someday) be able to synergize elegantly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal re-sizing and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to grow. We have proven we know that if you productize transparently then you may also engineer compellingly. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our iteration but our ability to revolutionize.