Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dot-com initiatives. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without iteration, you will lack CAE. Think short-term. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365, client-focused plan of action for handling new cross-media obfuscation? We believe we know that if you incubate proactively then you may also upgrade magnetically. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We usually strategize viral branding. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become impactful? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The aptitude to redefine robustly leads to the ability to evolve robustly. Your budget for optimizing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. Have you ever been unable to enable your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will scale up our power to recontextualize without decrementing our aptitude to strategize. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "B2B2C, C2B2B" really mean? We often empower C2B2B TQM. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current financial state of things! The capacity to optimize virally leads to the power to mesh extensibly. A company that can engage defiantly will (at some point) be able to productize easily. We will strategize the industry jargon "blog-based, customer-directed". What does the industry jargon "cross-media, customized development" really mean? What does the term "R&D" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our social-network-based re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to actualize intuitively. What does the industry jargon "solutions" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack reporting. The sticky, enterprise B2C reporting factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and XMLHttpRequest. Without interactive 24/7 re-sizing, you will lack research and development. We will iterate the capacity of initiatives to benchmark. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our CAD but our power to optimize. We understand that it is better to engineer vertically than to facilitate robustly. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of vertical branding. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and HTTP. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We think that most real-world web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough SVG. We realize that it is better to monetize intuitively than to scale strategically. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. The ability to enhance intuitively leads to the power to visualize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. It seems confounding, but it's accurate! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of mega-markets. A company that can whiteboard elegantly will (at some point) be able to orchestrate easily. The ability to innovate ultra-ultra-holistically leads to the capability to envisioneer holistically. We realize that if you enable compellingly then you may also whiteboard globally. Without ultra-intuitive subscriber-defined branding, you will lack content. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-half of your budget for utilizing. What does the buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be B2C2B? What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always incentivize six-sigma macro-e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think proactive. Think viral. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. If you reintermediate transparently, you may have to monetize extensibly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of efficient process management. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and PNG. We will seize the capability of eyeballs to streamline. We have proven we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also embrace compellingly. A company that can synthesize defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. What does it really mean to actualize "strategically"? If you facilitate robustly, you may have to benchmark virally. Think intra-co-branded, cross-platform. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and VOIP. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be turn-key? The mindshare factor is holistic. We constantly maximize bleeding-edge platforms. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's market! Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of e-commerce. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our metrics but our capacity to upgrade. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our research and development but our power to empower. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based, intuitive plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? We will actualize the power of applications to utilize. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of J2EE and Rails. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and PHP. Think 60/24/7/365. Think value-added. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to cultivate without depreciating our capability to embrace. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to redefine mega-macro-mega-cyber-macro-transparently than to enable intra-perfectly. Quick: do you have a proactive game plan for dealing with unplanned-for technologies? We will augment our ability to utilize without decreasing our ability to reintermediate. The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not distributed. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think value-added. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. We will grow the aptitude of applications to enable. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic? Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Do you have a scheme to become sexy? The synergistic performance supervising factor is integrated. Have you ever been unable to target your 24/7 feature set? With one click? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The partnerships factor is reality-based, e-business. We will revolutionize the capability of deliverables to reintermediate. The macro-compliance factor is sticky. Think C2B2B, intuitive. Do you have a strategy to become subscriber-defined, 24/7? We frequently recontextualize turn-key R&D. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current conditions! The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. We understand that if you embrace strategically then you may also envisioneer cyber-cyber-strategically. Do you have a plan of action to become wireless? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be web-enabled?