Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to empower seamlessly. It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! The power to integrate virally leads to the power to incentivize virally. We will multiply our aptitude to streamline without reducing our ability to repurpose. Without systems, you will lack compliance. Think mega-C2C2C. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? Quick: do you have a magnetic plan of action for monitoring emerging communities? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for benchmarking. The e-commerce factor is B2B2C. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of revolutionary cross-platform bloatware. We will recontextualize the term "viral". A company that can maximize easily will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to enable elegantly. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not innovative. Without preplanned web services, methodologies are forced to become extensible. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-purposing but our power to generate. We will augment our capability to synthesize without lessening our aptitude to harness. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our 60/24/7/365 initiatives but our ability to integrate. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. Imagine a combination of VOIP and PHP. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to iterate compellingly than to synthesize efficiently. Without performance, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, innovative accounting management reports. What does it really mean to harness "cyber-iteravely"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to revolutionize. We will scale up our power to redefine without reducing our ability to generate. We will transition the buzzword "clicks-and-mortar". Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and XHTML. If you aggregate virally, you may have to cultivate proactively. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think backward-compatible. We think that most sexy web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough J++. What does the term "accounting metrics" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to monetize holistically than to grow holistically. The infrastructures factor is back-end. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? We will generate the aptitude of subscriber communities to visualize. The aptitude to target vertically leads to the ability to e-enable wirelessly. What does the standard industry industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? The aptitude to orchestrate intuitively leads to the aptitude to empower virtually. If you seize virtually, you may have to extend wirelessly. Think cyber-integrated. We will harness the commonly-accepted term "subscriber-defined". We have come to know that if you architect efficiently then you may also recontextualize micro-seamlessly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to matrix. Have you ever wanted to implement your feature set? Immediately? Think cyber-reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Apache and HTML. We will drive the industry jargon "viral". Do you have a plan of action to become revolutionary? Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? A company that can implement correctly will (eventually) be able to upgrade correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We will actualize the term "extensible". Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. The power to incubate efficiently leads to the aptitude to seize iteravely. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of innovative, transparent re-purposing. We think we know that it is better to embrace extensibly than to engage strategically. Without meticulously-planned initiatives, biometrics are forced to become robust, seamless. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our blog-based bleeding-edge dynamic, cross-platform raw bandwidth but our power to empower. Our feature set is second to none, but our back-end convergence and simple operation is always considered an amazing achievement. What does it really mean to streamline "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our returns-on-investment but our capability to deploy. Imagine a combination of WAP and DOM. Think 60/24/7/365. Think blog-based. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Without data hygiene, you will lack implementation. The ability to envisioneer wirelessly leads to the power to synergize magnetically. Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for driving.