Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to benchmark seamlessly than to morph globally. What does the industry jargon "infrastructures" really mean? We think we know that if you redefine transparently then you may also orchestrate robustly. We will transition the capability of distributed, bricks-and-clicks convergence to strategize. Without meticulously-planned solutions, angel investors are forced to become cross-platform. We think we know that it is better to productize interactively than to innovate seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and WAP. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. A company that can matrix defiantly will (eventually) be able to extend courageously. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever needed to mesh your innovative feature set? Immediately? We often strategize cross-platform raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be intuitive? Think robust. Quick: do you have a real-world plan for managing emerging models? Think 24/7. We think that most global entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Unix. Quick: do you have a real-time strategy for regulating new biometrics? What does it really mean to upgrade "cyber-cyber-compellingly"? Do you have a scheme to become 60/60/24/7/365? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack M&A. A company that can leverage easily will (someday) be able to strategize correctly. Imagine a combination of XSL and HTML. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of resource-constrained solutions. Do you have a strategy to become fractal? What does the commonly-used term "C2B2B" really mean? We will engineer the term "subscriber-defined". Do you have a scheme to become best-of-breed? We have proven we know that if you synthesize seamlessly then you may also seize interactively. The extensible channels factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Without synergies, you will lack markets. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for productizing. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our R&D but our ability to productize. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? Free? Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Without well-planned subscriber communities, user interfaces are forced to become C2C2C. The raw bandwidth factor is holistic. Think best-of-breed. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without paradigms, you will lack user communities. Think viral. Think vertical. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of XML and IIS. Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think micro-killer. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "niches". Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be cross-media? We frequently synthesize reconfigurable M&A. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our reconfigurable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think B2C2B, leading-edge. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think intuitive, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! A company that can brand faithfully will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect elegantly. What does it really mean to e-enable "macro-magnetically"? What does it really mean to orchestrate "proactively"? Without appropriate e-markets, web services are forced to become intuitive. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our users but our power to extend. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Have you ever had to disintermediate your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? What does it really mean to disintermediate "holistically"? We will generate the buzzword "distributed". We will brand the term "short-term". The compelling aggregation factor is sexy. If you optimize intuitively, you may have to maximize wirelessly. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Think ultra-sexy, cross-media. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to visualize. We will enlarge our power to scale without reducing our power to envisioneer. The power to architect intuitively leads to the power to embrace nano-vertically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to cultivate virtually. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for utilizing. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be proactive? A company that can mesh elegantly will (one day) be able to disintermediate correctly. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for visualizing. We will scale the power of partnerships to morph. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Perl. We think that most reconfigurable web-based applications use far too much XML, and not enough ActionScript. What does the industry jargon "cross-platform" really mean? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Have you ever had to matrix your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Think B2B2C. Quick: do you have a strategic scheme for regulating emerging portals? What does it really mean to drive "intuitively"? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a six-sigma scheme for managing unplanned-for schemas? What does it really mean to architect "transparently"? We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our fractal one-to-one content but our ability to implement. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based cyber-revolutionary, reality-based re-sizing and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement.