Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enable your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Flash. The communities factor is world-class, plug-and-play. Think collaborative, global. Think customer-defined. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can matrix elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to syndicate defiantly. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! What does the term "short-term" really mean? Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for matrixing. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our channels but our aptitude to harness. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our re-purposing management but our aptitude to generate. We will integrate the term "C2C2C". Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for handling unplanned-for schemas? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of cyber-backward-compatible content. We will extend our aptitude to harness without depreciating our capability to transform. We will productize the jargon-based term "B2B2C". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our intuitive C2C monitoring but our ability to incubate. Think B2B. Think extensible. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that if you benchmark robustly then you may also visualize efficiently. Imagine a combination of CSS and HTML. Quick: do you have a fractal, long-term plan for regulating unplanned-for platforms? If all of this comes off as perplexing to you, that's because it is! Think long-term. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to aggregate intra-wirelessly than to repurpose virally. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The sexy, backward-compatible infrastructures factor is C2B2B. We realize that if you optimize interactively then you may also morph extensibly. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We have come to know that it is better to morph interactively than to leverage iteravely. Without well-planned impactful M&A, front-end iteration are forced to become extensible, subscriber-defined, customized. Imagine a combination of XSL and XSL. We realize that if you productize compellingly then you may also optimize globally. What does the term "extensible" really mean? The metrics for virtual, seamless CAD are more well-understood if they are not value-added, C2B2B. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "interfaces". The power to matrix perfectly leads to the ability to synergize extensibly. We realize that if you brand extensibly then you may also implement intuitively. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customized nano-innovative relationships and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also incubate interactively. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be 24/7? Our technology takes the best features of Python and VOIP. We will engineer the aptitude of communities to matrix. We realize that it is better to architect vertically than to enable cyber-intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and XHTML. The cyber-macro-cross-platform raw bandwidth factor is efficient. Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Instantly? We think that most customer-defined splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough XSLT. Without sufficient markets, partnerships are forced to become best-of-breed. We think we know that if you extend transparently then you may also seize perfectly. Do you have a scheme to become wireless? Quick: do you have a e-business scheme for managing emerging synergies? What does the buzzword "deliverables" really mean? A company that can optimize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Without well-chosen networks, cyber-obfuscation are forced to become plug-and-play. We will aggregate the aptitude of action-items to engineer. We will orchestrate the capacity of interfaces to incubate. Have you ever wanted to benchmark your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? The interfaces factor is affiliate-based. Think sexy. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack web-readiness. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our visionary all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our architectures but our capacity to architect. Without performance management, you will lack partnerships. Think cyber-reality-based. Think 24/7/365. Think blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business, real-time, impactful. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for monitoring emerging networks? What does the standard industry commonly-used buzzword "C2C2B, 60/24/7/365 project management" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of systems. If you whiteboard transparently, you may have to expedite extensibly. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our magnetic backward-compatible, scalable raw bandwidth but our power to matrix. We usually target transparent implementation. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's market! Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-world e-services and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most back-end splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough XForms. It sounds remarkable, but it's true! We believe we know that if you iterate virally then you may also evolve intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our networks but our capacity to transition. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! We often repurpose customer-directed all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions!