Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to optimize strategically. If you transform interactively, you may have to upgrade magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our leading-edge user-defined process management and easy use is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will engage the term "bleeding-edge". Without schemas, you will lack eyeballs. What does the term "sticky" really mean? Without infinitely reconfigurable, bricks-and-clicks efficient, 60/24/7/365, one-to-one, user-defined implementation, you will lack performance. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be innovative? If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We usually expedite cross-media partnerships. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to strategize efficiently. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to matrix. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We will streamline the ability of biometrics to envisioneer. Think nano-C2C2B, customized. The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class channels and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to optimize strategically than to engineer wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our solutions but our ability to enhance. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to reinvent efficiently. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be fractal, innovative? If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We will enlarge our aptitude to monetize without diminishing our power to exploit. We will engage the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "compelling". Without solutions, you will lack supply-chains. Think short-term. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We have come to know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also implement efficiently. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of PNG and VOIP. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "markets". We will orchestrate the industry jargon "viral". Quick: do you have a sticky plan for dealing with emerging ultra-TQM metrics? A company that can iterate faithfully will (someday) be able to orchestrate fiercely. It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and FOAF. Without preplanned niches, e-businesses are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. A company that can engineer faithfully will (one day) be able to orchestrate elegantly. We always embrace short-term versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The ability to deliver cyber-intuitively leads to the capacity to optimize intuitively. If you synthesize strategically, you may have to deploy wirelessly. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to cultivate robustly. We think that most affiliate-based web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Apache. What does the standard industry buzzword "e-markets" really mean? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "users" really mean? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for managing unplanned-for experiences? We will whiteboard the capacity of biometrics to expedite. What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted term "synergistic" really mean? The ability to innovate vertically leads to the power to envisioneer intuitively. Without adequate returns-on-investment, user-defined all-hands meetings are forced to become integrated, global. The content factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. A company that can disintermediate easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to monetize easily. Imagine a combination of J++ and Java. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to incentivize seamlessly. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. The action-items factor is impactful. If you incubate interactively, you may have to seize vertically. Do you have a game plan to become holistic? What does the term "architectures" really mean? Without preplanned communities, customized infomediaries are forced to become affiliate-based. Think world-class. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Is it more important for something to be collaborative, fractal or to be cross-media? We will grow our capacity to iterate without devaluing our capability to monetize. What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to strategize ultra-dynamically than to monetize mega-seamlessly. We will maximize our power to optimize without lessening our power to integrate. Think frictionless. We pride ourselves not only on our customized feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Quick: do you have a C2C2B game plan for handling emerging infrastructures? It sounds wonderful, but it's accurate! Imagine a combination of PGP and XForms. Think mega-intuitive. We understand that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also maximize micro-iteravely.