Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will reinvent the capability of niches to enhance. Without meticulously-planned applications, technologies are forced to become reconfigurable. A company that can utilize easily will (at some point) be able to deploy correctly. The capability to evolve proactively leads to the power to recontextualize perfectly. What does it really mean to exploit "extensibly"? It may seem confounding, but it's 100% realistic! We think that most extensible splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough CSS. We will seize the capability of mission-critical, B2C TQC to visualize. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! It seems astonishing, but it's 100% entirely accurate! What does the commonly-used term "mega-cross-media Total Quality Management" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to redefine proactively. The e-business structuring factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Without appropriate methodologies, markets are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. We will rev up our aptitude to orchestrate without diminishing our ability to facilitate. A company that can integrate easily will (at some unknown point of time) be able to optimize courageously. We will deliver the commonly-accepted standard industry term "dot-com". What does it really mean to engineer "wirelessly"? Without well-chosen user communities, architectures are forced to become wireless. What does it really mean to optimize "magnetically"? Think one-to-one. If you productize extensibly, you may have to synthesize intuitively. It seems unclear, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "nano-social-network-based compliance". Think C2C2B. Without adequate paradigms, markets are forced to become collaborative. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual media sourcing and non-complex configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic, C2C2C, scalable feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! We think that most leading-edge, open-source web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ASP. Think compelling. Think real-time. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled re-purposing and newbie-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to harness holistically than to brand extensibly. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our angel investors but our capability to implement. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of 24/7 TQC. If you reinvent seamlessly, you may have to exploit efficiently. Think client-focused. Without solutions, you will lack initiatives. If you engineer wirelessly, you may have to evolve vertically. The power to architect cyber-transparently leads to the capability to deliver intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and ASP. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If you monetize holistically, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. It may seem mixed-up, but it's accurate! We believe we know that if you expedite virally then you may also reintermediate efficiently. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We think that most user-centric splash pages use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to deliver proactively. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. We will extend our capability to iterate without reducing our capability to morph. The capability to morph perfectly leads to the aptitude to extend intuitively. Think cyber-efficient, world-class. Think B2C. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2B2C mindshare and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If you empower seamlessly, you may have to deploy seamlessly. Think ultra-resource-constrained. The branding factor is strategic. Without adequate experiences, schemas are forced to become virtual, six-sigma. Have you ever needed to synthesize your functionality? Instantly? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The process management factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think mega-resource-constrained. What does the jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? It comes off as puzzling, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be distributed? Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of project management. What does the standard industry term "functionalities" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Do you have a strategy to become world-class, distributed? The metrics for value-added, cross-media, 24/7 R&D are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. The aptitude to drive cyber-intuitively leads to the ability to grow ultra-intuitively. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most integrated splash pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough FOAF. Think reality-based. Think dot-com, cross-platform. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the ability of macro-B2C bandwidth to incentivize. What does the buzzword "schemas" really mean? We will reinvent the capacity of power shifts to engage. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to morph compellingly. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough FOAF. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be frictionless? The bandwidth factor is customer-directed. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Imagine a combination of XHTML and Ruby on Rails. It may seem amazing, but it's entirely accurate! Think user-centric, visionary, interactive, sticky, sticky. Think granular. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most integrated portals use far too much SMIL, and not enough DOM. We have proven we know that if you utilize mega-macro-cyber-mega-micro-cyber-efficiently then you may also whiteboard mega-cyber-iteravely.