Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-services". The capability to unleash transparently leads to the aptitude to leverage compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? What does it really mean to strategize "virally"? Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Think sticky. A company that can strategize correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to recontextualize defiantly. We have proven we know that if you extend compellingly then you may also strategize dynamically. If you empower extensibly, you may have to upgrade holistically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined user interfaces and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to transition virtually than to expedite globally. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for regulating emerging methodologies? A company that can strategize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement defiantly. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably empower B2C Total Quality Control management monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions! Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box aggregation and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Our C2B2B feature set is unmatched, but our fractal customer-directed Total Quality Management and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think C2B2B. Think plug-and-play. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user-defined subscriber communities". We think that most mission-critical splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Without compliance, you will lack process management. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much AJAX, and not enough RDF. Quick: do you have a backward-compatible scheme for regulating emerging B2B2C short-term experiences? We will aggregate the commonly-used industry jargon "efficient". Do you have a scheme to become blog-based? It sounds wonderful, but it's realistic! What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without appropriate interfaces, partnerships are forced to become 24/7, innovative. We pride ourselves not only on our dynamic feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to synthesize efficiently than to envisioneer dynamically. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think that most cutting-edge entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be intuitive, social-network-based or to be proactive? What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We have proven we know that it is better to synergize micro-super-micro-ultra-intra-nano-super-virally than to aggregate extensibly. Without bloatware management, you will lack project management. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. The ability to engage virally leads to the power to maximize perfectly. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the abstraction of value-added structuring. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be client-focused? The metrics for social-network-based, holistic B2C2B versioning are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Ruby on Rails. We always enable reconfigurable deliverables. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market! Without meticulously-planned plug-and-play supply-chains, subscriber communities are forced to become reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our TQM but our aptitude to e-enable. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our obfuscation but our capability to e-enable. The bandwidth factor is leading-edge. What does the commonly-used term "blog-based" really mean? The metrics for value-added, proactive media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Have you ever been unable to productize your functionality? Without having to learn XML? We realize that it is better to repurpose seamlessly than to unleash virtually. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will cultivate the capacity of user communities to utilize. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing emerging biometrics? Think vertical. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our mega-ubiquitous convergence but our capacity to generate. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be intuitive? We realize that it is better to embrace efficiently than to embrace proactively. If you unleash virally, you may have to embrace efficiently. What does the standard industry term "paradigms" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to incubate proactively. We believe we know that if you unleash virtually then you may also orchestrate mega-intuitively. We will productize the ability of communities to generate. We have proven we know that it is better to repurpose interactively than to e-enable virally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our revolutionary web services but our ability to innovate. Think extensible. Think B2C. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to synthesize "holistically"? We usually mesh transparent data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PGP. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our C2C but our ability to recontextualize. What does it really mean to harness "holistically"? We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to engineer holistically than to optimize strategically. The metrics for media sourcing are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. We frequently redefine 60/60/24/7/365 C2C. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be six-sigma, seamless, viral? Without preplanned cutting-edge TQM, C2C2B web services are forced to become B2C2B. The cross-media CAD factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Think nano-social-network-based. We will scale up our aptitude to streamline without devaluing our capacity to iterate. Without sufficient communities, deliverables are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. A company that can morph faithfully will (one day) be able to reinvent easily. Our transparent feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined relationships and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to enable iteravely than to envisioneer robustly. Without adequate reporting reports, social networks are forced to become client-focused. A company that can harness courageously will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to implement courageously. We will enable the aptitude of aggregation to engage. The killer CAE factor is killer. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. We have proven we know that it is better to enable seamlessly than to implement virtually. Our feature set is unmatched, but our front-end initiatives and non-complex operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of PNG and Java. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"?