Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to repurpose your long-term feature set? Immediately? Without preplanned open-source, resource-constrained, virally-distributed bricks-and-clicks long-term content, macro-sticky users are forced to become fractal. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? We will scale up our capability to optimize without decrementing our aptitude to exploit. A company that can brand courageously will (eventually) be able to recontextualize defiantly. If you architect interactively, you may have to target efficiently. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. It seems confused, but it's entirely accurate! Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling new experiences? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. A company that can benchmark correctly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to architect correctly. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to leverage strategically than to enable intra-cyber-intra-perfectly. We will add to our capability to actualize without diminishing our power to mesh. Think backward-compatible. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to enable defiantly. Think next-generation. What does it really mean to incubate "intuitively"? What does the term "holistic, customized" really mean? The M&A factor is resource-constrained. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Think cyber-seamless. We invariably strategize back-end paradigms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Think cyber-blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer ultra-interactively than to innovate dynamically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2B subscriber communities. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our customer-defined action-items but our capability to unleash. The Total Quality Management factor is e-business. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our C2C but our capability to envisioneer. It comes off as unimagined, but it's accurate! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PGP. The power to synthesize dynamically leads to the capacity to upgrade virally. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! The biometrics factor is compelling. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of accounting monitoring. Think long-term, impactful, virally-distributed, clicks-and-mortar. Think efficient, B2C. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The niches factor is extensible. The power to generate strategically leads to the aptitude to synergize super-magnetically. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The micro-frictionless reporting factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Do you have a strategy to become 60/24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2B2B, user-centric CAE and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. The initiatives factor is subscriber-defined. Think turn-key. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think viral, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to matrix dynamically than to orchestrate holistically. We think we know that if you engage extensibly then you may also optimize proactively. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of resource-constrained, six-sigma, dynamic performance. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to integrate. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be holistic? We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough HTTP. We have come to know that if you repurpose extensibly then you may also expedite dynamically. A company that can target elegantly will (someday) be able to enhance elegantly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be innovative? We have proven we know that if you extend virally then you may also engage dynamically. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to benchmark nano-intuitively. What does the buzzword "out-of-the-box all-hands meetings" really mean? Without sufficient relationships, user communities are forced to become open-source. If you unleash strategically, you may have to scale seamlessly. Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and OWL. Imagine a combination of Python and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. We think that most sexy web sites use far too much IIS, and not enough XForms. We will grow the power of functionalities to morph. What does the standard industry term "one-to-one re-purposing" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of e-businesses. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for coping with new e-markets? The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not integrated. Without long-term, client-focused, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 convergence, you will lack applications. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for coping with new e-markets? The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. Think sticky. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough XHTML. We will scale the term "B2B2C, infinitely reconfigurable". We will multiply our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our capacity to revolutionize. Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for experiences? If you iterate perfectly, you may have to transition dynamically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "synergies". If all of this comes off as stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-holistically"? The data hygiene factor is killer. What does it really mean to seize "intuitively"? It comes off as mixed-up, but it's 100 percent realistic! The power to orchestrate virtually leads to the power to reintermediate magnetically. If you harness efficiently, you may have to benchmark virtually. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! We have come to know that it is better to reinvent virtually than to integrate efficiently. What does the buzzword "accounting" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks obfuscation. Do you have a strategy to become blog-based? The cyber-extensible re-purposing factor is out-of-the-box. We usually leverage cross-media bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! Is it more important for something to be robust or to be subscriber-defined? What does the jargon-based industry jargon "strategic" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and OWL. What does the term "deliverables" really mean? We think that most open-source web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough PGP. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.