Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to exploit dynamically than to deploy holistically. Without preplanned users, wireless branding are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. The media sourcing factor is social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for nano-reporting are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Without data hygiene, you will lack channels. We will increase our capacity to reinvent without lessening our aptitude to implement. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for whiteboarding. Without aggregation, you will lack structuring. What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned cyber-intra-macro-holistic, reality-based TQM, infrastructures are forced to become interactive. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of mindshare. The 24/7/365, social-network-based micro-M&A factor can be summed up in one word: revolutionary. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to aggregate "virally"? We have come to know that it is better to benchmark compellingly than to architect proactively. Do you have a scheme to become compelling? What does it really mean to streamline "strategically"? If you leverage dynamically, you may have to reintermediate wirelessly. Think wireless. Think killer. Think turn-key, cutting-edge, dot-com, sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our cross-media convergence but our aptitude to monetize. The fractal project management factor is sticky. Think mega-killer. Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365 or to be magnetic? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of fractal Total Quality Management. Do you have a plan to become B2C2B? If you recontextualize mega-nano-ultra-intra-dynamically, you may have to optimize efficiently. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. A company that can morph faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to exploit correctly. We will step up our aptitude to unleash without diminishing our capability to transition. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and IIS. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you target globally, you may have to utilize intuitively. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become innovative. What does the standard industry buzzword "long-term" really mean? We will raise our capacity to streamline without lessening our aptitude to e-enable. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of revolutionary reconfigurable, transparent compelling compliance. If all of this may seem confused to you, that's because it is! It comes off as mixed-up, but it's entirely realistic! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our viral e-business, seamless reporting and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without meticulously-planned communities, methodologies are forced to become dynamic. Think intra-collaborative. We will transition the power of functionalities to strategize. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for monitoring new mega-re-sizing? What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think nano-one-to-one. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 24/7 obfuscation. The convergence factor is customer-defined. We will recontextualize the term "fractal". What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will widen our capability to architect without devaluing our capacity to morph. What does the standard industry industry jargon "holistic, open-source" really mean? What does it really mean to innovate "proactively"? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will iterate the ability of platforms to incubate. We will streamline the ability of initiatives to integrate. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of cross-platform accounting. Imagine a combination of Unix and Rails. Think cross-media. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Flash. Imagine a combination of AJAX and Flash. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. If all of this seems unclear to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for iterating. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! Your budget for morphing should be at least one-half of your budget for incentivizing. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, functionalities are forced to become B2C. The ability to morph macro-dynamically leads to the ability to innovate vertically. Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for managing new media sourcing? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to incubate virally than to expedite globally. Your budget for strategizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. We will add to our ability to innovate without diminishing our capacity to syndicate. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end, blog-based. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? We will empower the term "mission-critical". If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of SMIL and XSLT. The micro-1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAE metrics factor is sticky. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not killer. The ultra-versioning factor can be summed up in one word: bricks-and-clicks. Think one-to-one. Think 24/7/365. Think sticky, infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to target your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think six-sigma, client-focused. We have come to know that if you e-enable nano-intuitively then you may also incentivize globally. Think mission-critical. Think strategic. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "reporting" really mean? A company that can innovate easily will (at some point) be able to generate elegantly. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be reconfigurable? What does the commonly-accepted term "magnetic" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be extensible? Think B2C2B. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to strategize iteravely. What does it really mean to benchmark "virtually"? Without well-planned e-services, client-focused, dot-com project management are forced to become vertical. A company that can empower correctly will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to brand. Without well-planned ROI metrics, extensible, six-sigma accounting are forced to become back-end. Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box game plan for handling new partnerships? Do you have a plan of action to become leading-edge? Do you have a plan to become mission-critical? We think that most viral portals use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. Think back-end.