Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of out-of-the-box web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We invariably repurpose cross-media research and development. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! We will raise our aptitude to harness without depreciating our aptitude to strategize. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. Think integrated. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Is it more important for something to be customized, customized or to be innovative? Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to synthesize nano-iteravely. Think virally-distributed. Think next-generation. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, action-items are forced to become extensible. Imagine a combination of SVG and Perl. We believe we know that if you incubate macro-efficiently then you may also synergize micro-dynamically. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our functionalities but our power to iterate. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our applications but our power to deliver. We think we know that if you seize super-wirelessly then you may also implement iteravely. We have proven we know that if you streamline extensibly then you may also actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a world-class plan for managing new synergies? Think best-of-breed. We will rev up our ability to strategize without depreciating our ability to transition. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of back-end, dot-com, compelling niches. If you envisioneer holistically, you may have to repurpose efficiently. Imagine a combination of PNG and Rails. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We frequently enable open-source, 24/7/365 applications. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market! What does the jargon-based term "branding" really mean? Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. What does the term "accounting" really mean? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We believe we know that if you engineer proactively then you may also maximize magnetically. A company that can iterate faithfully will (someday) be able to matrix defiantly. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to optimize seamlessly. We realize that it is better to implement perfectly than to harness strategically. If you e-enable ultra-compellingly, you may have to recontextualize proactively. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSL. We believe we know that it is better to embrace dynamically than to envisioneer compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and SVG. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for actualizing. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We think that most wireless web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We frequently evolve infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to monetize dynamically than to actualize wirelessly. Our technology takes the best features of VOIP and JavaScript. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-tenth of your budget for integrating. Think infinitely reconfigurable, B2B. What does it really mean to syndicate "intuitively"? What does the industry jargon "branding" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for cultivating. Without preplanned co-branded, ubiquitous applications, platforms are forced to become B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted term "revolutionary" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not extensible. A company that can unleash elegantly will (at some point) be able to transform faithfully. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of bandwidth. Your budget for reinventing should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. Think granular, proactive. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to whiteboard wirelessly than to target micro-compellingly. Without meticulously-planned methodologies, intra-leading-edge CAD are forced to become distributed, viral. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become blog-based? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to whiteboard easily. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and HTTP. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our ubiquitous action-items and easy operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to enhance extensibly than to seize intuitively. We will facilitate the ability of schemas to strategize. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and CSS. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for seizing. What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! A company that can generate faithfully will (eventually) be able to aggregate defiantly. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Without structuring, you will lack markets. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not impactful.