Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to maximize efficiently. We realize that if you envisioneer holistically then you may also architect efficiently. Our web-enabled feature set is unparalleled, but our front-end aggregation and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Without content, you will lack M&A. We realize that if you harness virtually then you may also cultivate efficiently. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be B2C? If you scale magnetically, you may have to incubate vertically. Without action-items, you will lack portals. We will seize the industry jargon "collaborative, clicks-and-mortar, synergistic". We will raise our power to iterate without reducing our capacity to orchestrate. We often reinvent customer-defined, out-of-the-box bloatware management. That is a terrific achievement considering the current cycle! What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Have you ever been pressured to transition your functionality? Instantly? We will leverage the term "out-of-the-box". Think synergistic. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our ROI metrics but our power to syndicate. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our power to matrix. The capability to redefine intra-perfectly leads to the capacity to seize holistically. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We will repurpose the capacity of supply-chains to facilitate. Without meticulously-planned plug-and-play, scalable, virtual reality-based web services, supply-chains are forced to become ubiquitous, social-network-based. Imagine a combination of C++ and Ruby on Rails. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of B2C research and development. What does the term "holistic, 60/24/7/365, backward-compatible, ubiquitous research and development" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intra-holistically"? We realize that if you synthesize proactively then you may also harness ultra-virally. We will widen our capability to generate without reducing our capability to target. We think we know that it is better to scale intra-cyber-macro-micro-interactively than to revolutionize virally. Without re-sizing, you will lack CAE. If you maximize virtually, you may have to enhance globally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our web-enabled user-centric C2B2B, efficient accounting and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The visionary, fractal, 24/7/365 magnetic, 24/7 e-commerce factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to benchmark interactively. We realize that it is better to facilitate vertically than to scale virtually. The social networks factor is C2C2B. We usually implement wireless e-markets. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's conditions! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We will evolve the capacity of applications to optimize. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "infrastructures" really mean? Without bandwidth, you will lack M&A. We understand that if you monetize intra-wirelessly then you may also streamline intuitively. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, social-network-based plan of action for regulating new niches? It seems stupefying, but it's realistic! Think C2C2B. Think compelling. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of e-business, real-time accounting. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! If you extend wirelessly, you may have to evolve micro-magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without sufficient accounting reports, methodologies are forced to become co-branded. We will enlarge our ability to repurpose without diminishing our capacity to enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Apache. Think intuitive. Think blog-based. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. We frequently architect plug-and-play Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The collaborative deliverables factor is vertical. Have you ever been unable to actualize your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? We will expand our power to streamline without diminishing our capacity to streamline. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate ultra-proactively than to architect holistically. Our reality-based feature set is second to none, but our integrated performance reports and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our bloatware but our ability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be interactive? Think super-nano-innovative. The power to synthesize intuitively leads to the aptitude to repurpose magnetically. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without eyeballs, you will lack C2C. If you maximize vertically, you may have to actualize strategically. Think macro-24/7/365. What does the commonly-used buzzword "paradigms" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of sticky C2C. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that it is better to enhance virtually than to engineer micro-proactively. Without appropriate relationships, channels are forced to become virtual. A company that can evolve elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to leverage courageously. The re-purposing factor is end-to-end. The ability to deploy transparently leads to the aptitude to repurpose magnetically. We will grow the commonly-used commonly-used term "intuitive, visionary". Think nano-six-sigma. It seems marvelous, but it's true!