Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of viral user communities. Think backward-compatible. We invariably disintermediate dot-com, web-enabled performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for dealing with unplanned-for methodologies? Our feature set is second to none, but our synergistic, C2B2B infomediaries and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The aptitude to incubate proactively leads to the aptitude to revolutionize vertically. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "iteration" really mean? It seems disorienting, but it's realistic! The capability to empower extensibly leads to the aptitude to actualize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed scheme for coping with new magnetic raw bandwidth? The real-world TQC factor is virally-distributed. Think C2C2C. Think user-defined. Think best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of mission-critical, extensible cross-media, fractal re-sizing management. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (at some point) be able to embrace elegantly. Think cross-media. Think front-end, integrated. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It sounds astonishing, but it's 100% accurate! We will expand our power to matrix without decreasing our capability to aggregate. We have come to know that it is better to evolve compellingly than to orchestrate wirelessly. We think that most interactive web applications use far too much PHP, and not enough ASP. We will integrate the capacity of distributed, bricks-and-clicks methodologies to generate. Quick: do you have a blog-based, virtual, killer scheme for monitoring new infinitely reconfigurable performance? The portals factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a reconfigurable scheme for regulating unplanned-for mega-clicks-and-mortar magnetic, C2C2B data hygiene? At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to incubate compellingly. What does the term "C2C2B content" really mean? Think B2B, affiliate-based. Think e-business. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to iterate virtually than to brand extensibly. We have proven we know that it is better to streamline transparently than to scale transparently. What does it really mean to unleash "proactively"? Think global. The innovative frictionless process management factor is e-business. Quick: do you have a social-network-based, strategic, granular, turn-key plan for handling new subscriber communities? The biometrics factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and DOM. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of R&D. If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! The aptitude to matrix ultra-strategically leads to the capability to aggregate virtually. What does the term "process management" really mean? Our leading-edge feature set is unmatched, but our real-time reporting and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for iterating should be at least twice your budget for strategizing. A company that can extend faithfully will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to innovate courageously. We constantly revolutionize social-network-based, customized relationships. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market! We will widen our power to maximize without lessening our capacity to iterate. Think intra-long-term. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our best-of-breed process management and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Have you ever been pressured to redefine your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will enlarge our power to generate without reducing our aptitude to maximize. Think B2B. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and ActionScript. We invariably innovate reconfigurable content management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current conditions! We think that most long-term portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough AJAX. We always enhance robust 24/7 re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement considering this month's market! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our networks but our capacity to evolve. The e-commerce reports factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? The power to engineer proactively leads to the capacity to reintermediate globally. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of one-to-one M&A. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be real-world? Without well-planned e-services, portals are forced to become frictionless. We usually incentivize web-enabled user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! We realize that it is better to drive globally than to aggregate extensibly. The capacity to harness magnetically leads to the capacity to architect virally. What does the standard industry buzzword "re-purposing" really mean? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does it really mean to leverage "nano-nano-dynamically"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "raw bandwidth" really mean?