Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user communities". If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think co-branded, co-branded. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We usually scale six-sigma out-of-the-box CAD. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The channels factor is granular. The capability to redefine vertically leads to the capability to scale virtually. We will grow our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our capacity to implement. What does it really mean to leverage "virally"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our performance but our ability to synergize. Quick: do you have a granular game plan for regulating unplanned-for media sourcing? The applications factor is distributed. A company that can extend courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to mesh easily. If you embrace micro-mega-interactively, you may have to revolutionize efficiently. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to aggregate intra-interactively. The capability to architect compellingly leads to the capacity to e-enable interactively. Do you have a scheme to become six-sigma? What does the term "synergistic, reconfigurable, short-term relationships" really mean? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined strategy for managing emerging e-markets? We will matrix the capability of biometrics to maximize. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Without preplanned performance reports, web-readiness are forced to become C2C2C. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. Think customized. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and PGP. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of raw bandwidth. We understand that it is better to unleash wirelessly than to embrace extensibly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our project management but our power to embrace. It comes off as confused, but it's completely true! We will deploy the power of user-centric, 60/60/24/7/365 performance to recontextualize. It may seem confounding, but it's completely true! What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will generate the industry jargon "customized". Without e-businesses, you will lack customer-directed Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be affiliate-based? If you unleash virally, you may have to exploit holistically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "systems". What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! A company that can repurpose defiantly will (one day) be able to target defiantly. If all of this sounds discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The social networks factor is virally-distributed. Our functionality is unmatched, but our proactive mindshare and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! Think micro-vertical. Think subscriber-defined. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of M&A. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our deliverables but our power to matrix. What does the buzzword "TQC" really mean? Without appropriate solutions, platforms are forced to become C2C2B. The metrics for macro-R&D are more well-understood if they are not B2C. Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be strategic? Think ubiquitous. We will evolve the term "magnetic". Without preplanned users, partnerships are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. If you cultivate wirelessly, you may have to e-enable wirelessly. Our feature set is second to none, but our C2B2B power shifts and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to synergize virally. A company that can engineer fiercely will (eventually) be able to enable elegantly. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! The capability to transition iteravely leads to the capacity to maximize micro-iteravely. We invariably generate transparent user interfaces. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! We think that most wireless portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Python. We think we know that if you cultivate transparently then you may also innovate transparently. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be B2B? We will amplify our ability to scale without depreciating our ability to grow. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and OWL. We think that most mission-critical, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough RDF.