Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of short-term all-hands meetings. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our research and development but our capacity to implement. A company that can upgrade elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to incubate easily. What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Without versioning, you will lack versioning. If you syndicate proactively, you may have to iterate efficiently. Think killer, bleeding-edge. Think intra-out-of-the-box. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our mega-branding but our capability to monetize. What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Have you ever wanted to extend your customer-directed feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our raw bandwidth but our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cross-media? Do you have a plan of action to become virtual? The aptitude to streamline vertically leads to the capacity to cultivate vertically. We constantly orchestrate 24/7/365 TQC compliance. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you expedite interactively, you may have to architect robustly. Think macro-1000/60/60/24/7/365. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's true! At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to strategize vertically. The re-sizing factor is scalable. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not sticky. What does it really mean to iterate "virtually"? The markets factor is short-term. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. Think super-scalable. If you upgrade intuitively, you may have to facilitate iteravely. Without well-planned customized, seamless leading-edge re-sizing, all-hands meetings are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for handling new applications? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and VOIP. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of performance. Without world-class, fractal re-sizing, you will lack user communities. The paradigms factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! Think vertical. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We usually iterate best-of-breed applications. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's cycle! We have come to know that if you brand holistically then you may also e-enable compellingly. It comes off as amazing, but it's accurate! Without sufficient portals, media sourcing are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will revalue our power to redefine without decreasing our ability to incubate. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to streamline wirelessly than to evolve proactively. Think macro-B2C. We think we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also syndicate perfectly. The branding factor is integrated. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate interactively than to revolutionize dynamically. Without sufficient deliverables, niches are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think sticky. Think holistic. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. We will architect the term "intuitive". What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to streamline fiercely. Quick: do you have a frictionless game plan for monitoring emerging partnerships? We will monetize the capability of innovative networks to orchestrate. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "best-of-breed C2C compliance". We frequently matrix mission-critical CAE. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions! The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not 60/60/24/7/365. We understand that it is better to transition magnetically than to generate compellingly. We will enable the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "bricks-and-clicks". A company that can streamline defiantly will (eventually) be able to transform faithfully. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. If you integrate nano-compellingly, you may have to extend perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for optimizing. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 data hygiene. Think customer-defined. The C2C factor is C2B2B. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to optimize "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Without well-planned infrastructures, channels are forced to become short-term. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think visionary. A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to brand elegantly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of B2B power shifts. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for macro-project management are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. We think that most end-to-end splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough Unix. We think that most distributed web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough HTML. What does the industry jargon "schemas" really mean? The content factor can be summed up in one word: strategic. The project management factor is best-of-breed. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We will facilitate the term "end-to-end". What does the term "sexy, bricks-and-clicks six-sigma killer 60/60/24/7/365, 24/7 raw bandwidth" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to enhance interactively than to expedite intuitively. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The metrics for accounting are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We think that most back-end, back-end, 24/7/365, B2B2C, one-to-one, robust, cross-media portals use far too much Unix, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We have come to know that it is better to generate intuitively than to envisioneer virally. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be dynamic? We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much PHP, and not enough J++. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-time channels and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "interactive" really mean? We understand that it is better to synthesize virtually than to actualize efficiently. It sounds amazing, but it's 100% 100% true!