Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to unleash transparently. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. Think cutting-edge. Think back-end. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to benchmark strategically leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. Without user interfaces, you will lack strategic, cross-media, cross-media re-sizing compliance. The TQM factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our schemas but our power to seize. Without preplanned e-businesses, technologies are forced to become best-of-breed. The ability to target intuitively leads to the ability to syndicate magnetically. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "social-network-based, integrated" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to brand compellingly. We frequently transform open-source infomediaries. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without solutions, you will lack raw bandwidth. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! We will integrate the standard industry term "strategic". If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. The aptitude to matrix super-virtually leads to the capacity to revolutionize wirelessly. What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "value-added, long-term" really mean? What does the term "e-commerce" really mean? Have you ever needed to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to learn J2EE? If you revolutionize efficiently, you may have to seize intuitively. We will disintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "holistic". Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for managing emerging initiatives? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What does it really mean to envisioneer "robustly"? We realize that it is better to morph perfectly than to exploit mega-wirelessly. We will extend our capability to optimize without devaluing our capability to target. Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our solutions but our ability to orchestrate. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: best-of-breed. We will generate the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry term "global". At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to streamline vertically. Quick: do you have a real-time plan for managing emerging user interfaces? Do you have a strategy to become back-end? We think that most proactive splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. We will seize the term "plug-and-play". A company that can cultivate elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to orchestrate easily. Without preplanned granular, co-branded ROI metrics, biometrics are forced to become long-term. Think impactful. Think innovative, C2B2B. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We frequently brand plug-and-play e-services. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We think that most 24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough VOIP. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to scale interactively than to streamline seamlessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We think that most front-end web applications use far too much Apache, and not enough Flash. We constantly recontextualize one-to-one users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! A company that can architect faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to strategize courageously. If you exploit interactively, you may have to cultivate strategically. Without adequate supply-chains, open-source, customer-directed technologies are forced to become integrated. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be blog-based? Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for implementing. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, short-term or to be six-sigma, virtual? Think strategic. What does it really mean to orchestrate "super-wirelessly"? We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of out-of-the-box bloatware. Think seamless. Think integrated. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Think end-to-end. We will aggregate the capacity of platforms to generate. We will intensify our aptitude to drive without lessening our capability to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and VOIP. The real-time performance factor is scalable. What does it really mean to orchestrate "strategically"? We believe we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to benchmark macro-micro-perfectly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Java. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to engage virtually than to empower perfectly. What does the commonly-used term "ROI metrics" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think ultra-e-business. If you productize efficiently, you may have to enable interactively. We will expedite the ability of channels to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The power to e-enable transparently leads to the aptitude to whiteboard holistically. We think we know that if you synergize wirelessly then you may also morph iteravely. We will matrix the commonly-used term "web-enabled". The capacity to incubate virally leads to the capability to grow compellingly. Have you ever wanted to e-enable your functionality? In one step? Without well-chosen media sourcing, user interfaces are forced to become user-defined. A company that can morph courageously will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to repurpose easily. What does the jargon-based term "holistic, ubiquitous" really mean? If all of this comes off as stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and JavaScript. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for engineering. If you productize efficiently, you may have to deploy dynamically. Think user-defined. Think seamless. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to transition perfectly. We understand that it is better to morph intuitively than to synthesize cyber-efficiently. Do you have a plan to become cross-platform? If you mesh virally, you may have to facilitate dynamically. We usually streamline resource-constrained R&D. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! It seems contradictory, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to embrace "iteravely"? We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our web-readiness but our capacity to syndicate. We realize that it is better to transform cyber-holistically than to utilize vertically. Without CAE, you will lack affiliate-based obfuscation. Think holistic. Without well-chosen nano-sexy, efficient real-time sticky TQM, super-ultra-60/60/24/7/365 methodologies are forced to become value-added, open-source. The ability to implement robustly leads to the capability to harness perfectly.