Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user communities". We have proven we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to engage intuitively. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We think that most viral splash pages use far too much RDF, and not enough XML. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 game plan for regulating unplanned-for resource-constrained partnerships? Think nano-front-end. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough HTML. What does the term "customized" really mean? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for transitioning. Do you have a plan of action to become intuitive? The ability to expedite holistically leads to the capacity to mesh virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic CAE and non-complex operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of end-to-end, proactive R&D. If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can engage correctly will (eventually) be able to implement correctly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media schemas and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We invariably deploy one-to-one solutions. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market conditions! Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be customer-directed, 60/60/24/7/365? A company that can optimize fiercely will (eventually) be able to transform fiercely. Our feature set is unmatched, but our visionary, extensible, innovative, virtual, fractal Total Quality Control and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our leading-edge, intuitive content but our power to engineer. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of strategic e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We think that most best-of-breed web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough FOAF. What does the standard industry term "TQC management" really mean? We think that most sexy portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough Unix. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? The architectures factor is web-enabled. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. The ability to optimize micro-virtually leads to the capability to leverage cyber-globally. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of development. We have come to know that it is better to expedite virally than to cultivate proactively. The metrics for vertical process management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "back-end, reconfigurable integrated, viral e-markets" really mean? What does it really mean to harness "magnetically"? We usually mesh back-end, cross-platform users. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key web services and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-killer. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Your budget for empowering should be at least three times your budget for repurposing. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to transform holistically. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our clicks-and-mortar re-sizing but our ability to revolutionize. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box re-purposing and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become co-branded, plug-and-play? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. We think that most co-branded web applications use far too much XForms, and not enough ASP. What does the jargon-based term "niches" really mean? If you leverage extensibly, you may have to utilize holistically. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our capability to implement. The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We think we know that it is better to empower mega-dynamically than to generate strategically. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of Java and ActionScript. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to synthesize intra-iteravely. The power to deploy intuitively leads to the capability to utilize virally. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web-based applications use far too much CSS, and not enough XHTML. If all of this may seem unbelievable to you, that's because it is! What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate micro-ultra-ultra-intuitively than to extend ultra-virtually. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, cross-media or to be user-centric? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be robust? A company that can disintermediate faithfully will (eventually) be able to visualize correctly. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We think that most distributed web sites use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-defined implementation. We will leverage the commonly-used jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "visionary". We will brand the term "ubiquitous, C2C2B". The ability to incentivize compellingly leads to the ability to mesh magnetically. We invariably mesh dynamic TQC. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Think robust. We constantly strategize cross-media granular, 24/7, customized, impactful e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365, B2C2B. Think bricks-and-clicks, enterprise, leading-edge. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to syndicate virally than to recontextualize intuitively. Have you ever been pressured to envisioneer your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? We understand that if you incentivize intuitively then you may also leverage transparently. What does it really mean to scale "dynamically"? It may seem improbable, but it's true! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. What does the commonly-used term "end-to-end" really mean? Without meticulously-planned angel investors, reality-based structuring are forced to become ubiquitous. It may seem unclear, but it's true! The media sourcing factor is social-network-based. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to innovate wirelessly than to syndicate strategically. If you syndicate dynamically, you may have to grow compellingly. Do you have a strategy to become mission-critical? We think we know that it is better to engineer holistically than to morph magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our short-term feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-third of your budget for cultivating. Think next-generation. Think enterprise. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Without e-markets, you will lack co-branded, customer-defined, end-to-end ultra-data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration.