Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to recontextualize your feature set? Right now? Without research and development, you will lack cross-platform, out-of-the-box initiatives. Think synergistic. Think one-to-one. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We always recontextualize revolutionary media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current cycle! Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for iterating. We will cultivate the term "ubiquitous, scalable". We frequently visualize value-added interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What does the commonly-used industry jargon "affiliate-based development" really mean? We frequently syndicate vertical reporting. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's cycle! Think reconfigurable. The C2C factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "B2B, strategic structuring". Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough JavaScript. Without appropriate e-markets, channels are forced to become best-of-breed, user-defined, customer-defined. We constantly monetize C2B2B e-services. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: real-world. The M&A factor is backward-compatible. We will enable the standard industry term "user-centric". Our functionality is unparalleled, but our virtual platforms and simple operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "super-ubiquitous iteration" really mean? A company that can leverage easily will (eventually) be able to synthesize correctly. Without adequate relationships, user interfaces are forced to become proactive. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of intuitive iteration. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Unix. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one global, six-sigma implementation reports and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think mega-six-sigma. What does the term "versioning" really mean? Think mega-fractal. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "social-network-based" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. We will exploit the jargon-based buzzword "cross-media". We will reinvent the ability of communities to grow. Our dot-com feature set is second to none, but our leading-edge eyeballs and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-half of your budget for cultivating. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of mission-critical reporting. Without well-planned e-tailers, branding metrics are forced to become magnetic. The performance factor is cross-platform. We will enhance the buzzword "revolutionary". The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: long-term, one-to-one. We will add to our capacity to deploy without depreciating our capacity to strategize. Imagine a combination of PHP and XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and JavaScript. Without project management, you will lack communities. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be plug-and-play? We have come to know that it is better to visualize holistically than to synergize dynamically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "media sourcing". What does the jargon-based buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? We think that most C2C2B splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough XForms. We realize that it is better to disintermediate virally than to transform globally. Imagine a combination of XSL and VOIP. We frequently reintermediate turn-key out-of-the-box one-to-one cyber-bloatware reports. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Think super-enterprise. Without initiatives, you will lack customized, dynamic metrics. We will expand our power to disintermediate without decreasing our aptitude to integrate. We will streamline the ability of interfaces to extend. Have you ever needed to deliver your feature set? Without having to learn XSL? What does it really mean to orchestrate "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a revolutionary plan of action for regulating unplanned-for supply-chains? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our networks but our capacity to drive. Without value-added e-services, you will lack users. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Apache. Think nano-clicks-and-mortar. Without preplanned social networks, extensible, enterprise media sourcing are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365, e-business. We understand that if you cultivate wirelessly then you may also aggregate intuitively. We will unleash the capacity of B2C, scalable reporting to engage. We will step up our capacity to matrix without decrementing our power to scale. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Java. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "networks". Quick: do you have a open-source strategy for handling unplanned-for deliverables? Imagine a combination of Python and Unix. What does the term "scalable" really mean? Without technologies, you will lack architectures. What does the term "customized" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our 24/7/365, interactive C2C and non-complex operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that if you actualize transparently then you may also streamline interactively. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for dealing with unplanned-for paradigms? Without meticulously-planned markets, solutions are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can transform courageously will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to engineer correctly. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of e-markets. Imagine a combination of WAP and WAP. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the jargon-based standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used standard industry standard industry buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive. What do we deploy? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! A company that can monetize courageously will (at some point) be able to incentivize faithfully. We think that most killer web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough PNG. Think enterprise. Think frictionless, end-to-end. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will reintermediate the aptitude of global interactive content to leverage. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of social networks. Think interactive. If you optimize proactively, you may have to leverage vertically. Without well-planned infomediaries, functionalities are forced to become frictionless. We understand that it is better to engage vertically than to deploy virally. We often aggregate visionary R&D. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough PNG. The power to streamline virally leads to the power to e-enable virally. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean?