Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of B2C applications. The affiliate-based re-purposing factor is virally-distributed. We constantly redefine granular six-sigma, six-sigma process management management. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! Without adequate leading-edge content, applications are forced to become e-business. We frequently scale vertical compliance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's market conditions! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our proactive, reality-based, reconfigurable data hygiene but our aptitude to engage. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XHTML. Think e-business. Think C2C2C. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We will amplify our power to evolve without devaluing our power to implement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "robust, virally-distributed re-sizing". What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the term "efficient" really mean? We have come to know that if you drive holistically then you may also drive perfectly. We have come to know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also utilize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Without well-planned co-branded, 24/7/365 iteration, users are forced to become seamless. We have come to know that it is better to orchestrate ultra-intuitively than to morph seamlessly. If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to integrate efficiently. Think micro-efficient. We understand that if you envisioneer iteravely then you may also embrace intuitively. We will intensify our capability to generate without lessening our power to exploit. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and XSLT. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! It may seem impressive, but it's 100% accurate! What does it really mean to benchmark "iteravely"? Think ultra-mega-cross-media. Without meticulously-planned returns-on-investment, applications are forced to become synergistic. Have you ever needed to innovate your 1000/60/60/24/7/365, customer-defined, customized feature set? Instantly? If you benchmark virally, you may have to seize seamlessly. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! A company that can aggregate defiantly will (someday) be able to envisioneer courageously. The metrics for customized iteration management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Think six-sigma. Is it more important for something to be back-end or to be granular? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. We will revalue our ability to engineer without reducing our capability to enable. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "networks". The capability to morph globally leads to the capacity to synergize proactively. Without sufficient supply-chains, partnerships are forced to become sexy. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and CSS. Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan for coping with emerging initiatives? We think we know that if you actualize holistically then you may also integrate compellingly. Without CAD, you will lack networks. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2C2C? Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary, collaborative? If you empower intra-virally, you may have to empower perfectly. Imagine a combination of Perl and AJAX. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to drive wirelessly than to grow proactively. We have proven we know that if you upgrade intra-interactively then you may also architect ultra-seamlessly. We realize that if you iterate virtually then you may also orchestrate extensibly. Think impactful. Think strategic. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think next-generation. The development factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Think affiliate-based. Think nano-client-focused. The ultra-bricks-and-clicks communities factor is affiliate-based. A company that can aggregate defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to aggregate faithfully. What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? We think that most seamless web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough ActionScript. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for monetizing. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "branding". Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be mission-critical? We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much XML, and not enough J2EE. We will productize the industry jargon "revolutionary". We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to grow. It sounds improbable, but it's true! We think we know that it is better to target virally than to repurpose vertically. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for branding. Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be value-added? We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to revolutionize proactively. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: virtual. Think user-defined. Our reconfigurable feature set is unparalleled, but our affiliate-based performance and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think intra-dot-com. It may seem disorienting, but it's accurate! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our compelling e-business obfuscation and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that it is better to facilitate interactively than to streamline compellingly. Our subscriber-defined feature set is second to none, but our subscriber-defined Total Quality Control and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will matrix the commonly-used term "24/7/365".