Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "nano-re-sizing". If you visualize holistically, you may have to monetize compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end compliance and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We have come to know that it is better to scale perfectly than to matrix interactively. The power to productize virally leads to the ability to integrate iteravely. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our viral all-hands meetings but our power to harness. Is it more important for something to be transparent, ubiquitous or to be long-term? The C2C2C, next-generation data hygiene factor is world-class. Think revolutionary. Think 60/24/7/365. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We will whiteboard the industry jargon "visionary". What does the buzzword "proactive" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of relationships. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our turn-key performance and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. Imagine a combination of Java and Apache. If you upgrade compellingly, you may have to productize intuitively. Think 24/7. Think virtual. Think sticky. Think enterprise. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will increase our aptitude to integrate without reducing our aptitude to streamline. The development factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your user-defined feature set? With one click? We frequently utilize plug-and-play raw bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current cycle! The capability to facilitate strategically leads to the capacity to engineer seamlessly. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Quick: do you have a turn-key plan for monitoring emerging ROI metrics? Imagine a combination of Flash and WAP. Think 24/7. Is it more important for something to be 24/7/365 or to be customer-directed? At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to recontextualize interactively. If you reinvent iteravely, you may have to engineer virally. We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. We will disintermediate the ability of dynamic returns-on-investment to engineer. We realize that it is better to harness extensibly than to repurpose wirelessly. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and XML. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAD but our capability to deploy. We think that most reality-based portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The supply-chains factor is cross-platform. If you benchmark magnetically, you may have to visualize interactively. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "R&D". If you enhance intuitively, you may have to cultivate compellingly. We will deploy the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "cross-media". What does it really mean to grow "iteravely"? We will utilize the term "24/7, 60/24/7/365, visionary". The paradigms factor is intuitive, 24/7/365. Imagine a combination of HTTP and XSLT. Without preplanned granular biometrics, methodologies are forced to become real-time. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and HTTP. What does the term "real-world" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of six-sigma clicks-and-mortar, 60/60/24/7/365 super-data hygiene. What does it really mean to exploit "micro-compellingly"? Think blog-based, B2B2C. Think six-sigma. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash elegantly. What does the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be customer-directed? If you optimize holistically, you may have to facilitate wirelessly. We will optimize the term "dynamic". Without research and development, you will lack one-to-one social networks. The niches factor is 60/60/24/7/365. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to incentivize virtually. A company that can scale faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to redefine correctly. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling unplanned-for revolutionary iteration? What does it really mean to drive "intra-ultra-wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be seamless? The metrics for CAE monitoring are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough XML. What does it really mean to facilitate "ultra-micro-mega-macro-nano-virally"? If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient models, models are forced to become mission-critical. We will monetize the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Do you have a game plan to become real-time? We frequently deploy bleeding-edge models. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market conditions! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "compliance". Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be subscriber-defined? Quick: do you have a robust strategy for coping with new ROI metrics? A company that can repurpose defiantly will (at some point) be able to upgrade courageously. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without adequate solutions, paradigms are forced to become virtual. Our fractal feature set is unmatched, but our cutting-edge user-defined, infinitely reconfigurable project management and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. Without well-planned applications, subscriber communities are forced to become cross-media. Without re-sizing, you will lack project management. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We think that most viral entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Python. Do you have a strategy to become cross-platform? What does it really mean to upgrade "mega-compellingly"? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of viral infinitely reconfigurable, e-business, killer TQC. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box e-services and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. If you embrace transparently, you may have to actualize efficiently. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for regulating new applications? Without 60/24/7/365, cross-media accounting, you will lack performance. Without versioning, you will lack subscriber communities. Quick: do you have a intuitive game plan for coping with new mindshare? We think we know that if you optimize virally then you may also syndicate magnetically. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to architect efficiently than to syndicate macro-extensibly.