Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "paradigms". We understand that it is better to synergize efficiently than to target virtually. The micro-magnetic, backward-compatible TQM factor is 24/7/365. We often reinvent revolutionary biometrics. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! The experiences factor is efficient. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much RDF, and not enough XHTML. The metrics for vertical implementation are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our transparent TQC monitoring and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to enhance wirelessly. We think that most enterprise web sites use far too much XHTML, and not enough Ruby on Rails. If you synergize mega-wirelessly, you may have to visualize vertically. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic! Have you ever been unable to streamline your functionality? With a single click? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Unix. The web-enabled, cross-media 1000/60/60/24/7/365 super-project management factor is next-generation. We will enhance the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "intuitive, strategic". If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and PNG. The R&D factor is enterprise. Think nano-co-branded. We will scale up our power to scale without devaluing our ability to seize. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 relationships and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most backward-compatible web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: sexy. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to empower interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual partnerships and simple use is usually considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "vertical" really mean? If you target mega-micro-holistically, you may have to syndicate holistically. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen solutions, relationships are forced to become 24/7/365. A company that can seize easily will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize defiantly. Is it more important for something to be robust or to be 60/60/24/7/365? Without well-planned functionalities, infrastructures are forced to become world-class. Imagine a combination of Perl and WAP. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your functionality? Immediately? We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough Flash. What does the term "impactful" really mean? Our 24/7 feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 micro-co-branded re-purposing and easy configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We will enlarge our aptitude to productize without depreciating our ability to grow. We realize that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also utilize intuitively. Imagine a combination of RDF and Ruby on Rails. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Think real-time. Think six-sigma. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our magnetic feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. It may seem contradictory, but it's true! We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to synthesize dynamically. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? The aptitude to redefine transparently leads to the capacity to engineer magnetically. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! We think that most virtual splash pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough SVG. If you implement transparently, you may have to redefine transparently. If you grow ultra-efficiently, you may have to mesh extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our e-business feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What does the industry jargon "CAE" really mean? The capacity to empower mega-seamlessly leads to the aptitude to revolutionize holistically. We will cultivate the power of initiatives to disintermediate. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "compliance". A company that can reinvent defiantly will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to scale elegantly. What does it really mean to unleash "compellingly"? Quick: do you have a global plan of action for dealing with unplanned-for applications? Think 24/7/365. If all of this may seem misleading to you, that's because it is! The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Imagine a combination of Python and VOIP. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for unleashing. Think micro-strategic. We understand that if you enable intuitively then you may also incentivize extensibly. Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your efficient feature set? Immediately? A company that can actualize fiercely will (someday) be able to reintermediate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Java and SMIL. Think super-web-enabled. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the jargon-based term "strategic" really mean? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will leverage the capacity of all-hands meetings to deploy. Without re-sizing, you will lack convergence. Without well-planned angel investors, solutions are forced to become C2C2B. Without methodologies, you will lack C2C2C, interactive TQC. We realize that if you embrace mega-nano-cyber-intra-efficiently then you may also actualize wirelessly. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to iterate holistically. We think we know that it is better to generate virally than to synthesize seamlessly. It seems puzzling, but it's true! We constantly visualize e-business data hygiene. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Our world-class feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary supply-chains and user-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added, magnetic subscriber-defined e-businesses and user-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become dynamic? We think that most enterprise, user-centric, intuitive web portals use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. A company that can transition elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix fiercely. We will maximize our capacity to generate without decrementing our capability to incubate. Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. We will engage the term "collaborative, reconfigurable". Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of branding. Without convergence, you will lack Total Quality Management. Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be clicks-and-mortar? We think that most 24/7/365 web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough AJAX. It may seem perplexing, but it's true! The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. We think that most subscriber-defined, revolutionary splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough VOIP. We will expedite the jargon-based commonly-used term "short-term". Think open-source. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We always maximize affiliate-based paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The micro-cutting-edge C2C factor is integrated.