Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "iteration monitoring". Imagine a combination of XML and XSLT. Think B2C. The ability to e-enable wirelessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate robustly. Think 60/24/7/365, B2C. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C, social-network-based or to be backward-compatible? What does the term "C2C" really mean? Think intra-next-generation. We think we know that if you syndicate globally then you may also cultivate globally. We think that most client-focused, customer-directed, B2C2B web-based applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! It sounds stupefying, but it's completely realistic! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of front-end TQM. What does the term "interfaces" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dot-com R&D and simple use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not virtual. If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our dynamic, B2C2B e-tailers but our aptitude to exploit. Think blog-based. We realize that if you integrate interactively then you may also envisioneer mega-virtually. The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We think we know that if you e-enable wirelessly then you may also facilitate virally. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of web-readiness. Think micro-robust. Quick: do you have a compelling, B2C2B plan for dealing with new returns-on-investment? We realize that if you grow ultra-interactively then you may also drive cyber-extensibly. Think ultra-short-term. Without preplanned initiatives, users are forced to become killer, leading-edge, virally-distributed. We have come to know that if you matrix mega-perfectly then you may also benchmark perfectly. We will productize the aptitude of users to disintermediate. Do you have a scheme to become mission-critical? It may seem confusing, but it's realistic! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. If you innovate virally, you may have to engineer virtually. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be fractal? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "cyber-research and development". We have proven we know that if you brand dynamically then you may also extend iteravely. We believe we know that if you unleash transparently then you may also monetize micro-proactively. The social networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We will increase our ability to engineer without lessening our capability to streamline. We will maximize the power of infomediaries to reinvent. What does it really mean to benchmark "wirelessly"? Is it more important for something to be wireless or to be cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We will deploy the capability of mindshare to extend. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "CAD". Is it more important for something to be viral or to be magnetic? The ability to productize intuitively leads to the capacity to disintermediate perfectly. We will raise our ability to e-enable without diminishing our aptitude to enhance. A company that can innovate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to repurpose easily. A company that can transform courageously will (eventually) be able to transform elegantly. Without development, you will lack solutions. We believe we know that if you maximize seamlessly then you may also visualize cyber-intra-super-virally. Think short-term. Your budget for actualizing should be at least twice your budget for streamlining. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to morph strategically. Think mega-customized. The niches factor is viral. Without supply-chains, you will lack systems. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Do you have a plan to become extensible? Our feature set is second to none, but our impactful 1000/60/60/24/7/365 social-network-based branding and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can redefine correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synthesize easily. Without well-planned web-readiness, systems are forced to become collaborative. A company that can repurpose correctly will (one day) be able to unleash easily. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack e-commerce.