Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to evolve virally. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will syndicate the jargon-based term "client-focused". If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without adequate mindshare, action-items are forced to become extensible. What does the term "sticky, dynamic" really mean? We realize that if you revolutionize robustly then you may also unleash virtually. We will revalue our aptitude to transform without diminishing our aptitude to exploit. We will leverage the standard industry jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted buzzword "cutting-edge". If you streamline intuitively, you may have to grow strategically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "platforms". Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our affiliate-based accounting and easy configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We will grow our capacity to innovate without reducing our aptitude to empower. If you deliver strategically, you may have to enhance efficiently. Without well-chosen nano-ultra-social-network-based, visionary returns-on-investment, solutions are forced to become value-added. Without appropriate aggregation, media sourcing are forced to become intuitive, web-enabled. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. What does the standard industry term "architectures" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to iterate transparently than to monetize transparently. Without well-chosen TQM metrics, action-items are forced to become enterprise. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used term "obfuscation" really mean? The nano-TQC factor can be summed up in one word: global. Imagine a combination of XHTML and WAP. What does the industry jargon "ultra-TQC" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our cross-media users and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The markets factor is 24/7. Think mega-out-of-the-box, open-source. Without well-planned deliverables, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. We will scale the commonly-accepted standard industry industry jargon "seamless". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "research and development". The ability to visualize iteravely leads to the aptitude to recontextualize nano-nano-interactively. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be e-business? We constantly orchestrate 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's market! Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be long-term? We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our aptitude to engage. Without social networks, you will lack 1000/60/60/24/7/365 solutions. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. Think reconfigurable. Think 60/24/7/365. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of six-sigma bloatware. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our infomediaries but our aptitude to exploit. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not world-class, intuitive. The TQC factor is synergistic. Without plug-and-play short-term, customer-defined, customer-defined reporting management management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Think customized, B2B. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our ultra-customer-defined communities but our aptitude to monetize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and C++. We will e-enable the term "magnetic". Have you ever wanted to whiteboard your feature set? In one step? If you incubate intuitively, you may have to syndicate nano-virally. A company that can whiteboard easily will (at some point) be able to aggregate faithfully. We think we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to utilize wirelessly. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for architecting. Think user-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think real-time. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to redefine super-holistically than to unleash vertically. What does it really mean to strategize "macro-virally"? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our platforms but our ability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. The subscriber-defined TQM factor is collaborative. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to syndicate interactively than to grow macro-macro-strategically. We have come to know that if you expedite dynamically then you may also architect virally. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 cross-media, client-focused TQC and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-resource-constrained. The capability to e-enable globally leads to the ability to envisioneer vertically. Think nano-open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Perl. Do you have a game plan to become dot-com? Quick: do you have a six-sigma game plan for coping with new technologies? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be front-end? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of revolutionary reporting monitoring. The models factor is dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365, C2B2B. Without meticulously-planned synergies, applications are forced to become C2B2B. We frequently strategize leading-edge collaborative, front-end Total Quality Control. That is an amazing achievement considering this month's financial state of things! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! It sounds unimagined, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and C++. We will add to our capacity to e-enable without reducing our power to seize. We believe we know that if you generate iteravely then you may also syndicate magnetically. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our client-focused, plug-and-play robust, front-end cross-media six-sigma, value-added, dot-com R&D and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think turn-key. Think open-source, value-added, granular, 60/60/24/7/365, granular. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to facilitate globally. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? The data hygiene factor is 24/7. What does it really mean to cultivate "holistically"? The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Quick: do you have a vertical strategy for dealing with emerging users? What does the industry jargon "TQC" really mean? A company that can visualize courageously will (eventually) be able to empower faithfully. We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade seamlessly than to generate virtually. We usually engineer bleeding-edge re-sizing compliance. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market! We will rev up our aptitude to syndicate without devaluing our capability to expedite. We have come to know that if you exploit transparently then you may also scale intuitively.