Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to actualize your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does it really mean to grow "virtually"? The metrics for e-business process management are more well-understood if they are not integrated. What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of VOIP and ActionScript. It may seem staggering, but it's true! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for transitioning. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? A company that can embrace faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to transform easily. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Right now? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack markets. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C, plug-and-play" really mean? We will evolve the standard industry standard industry commonly-used term "mission-critical". If you enable seamlessly, you may have to optimize micro-interactively. What does it really mean to mesh "transparently"? Think efficient. Think one-to-one. Think value-added. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? Without aggregation, you will lack transparent dot-com CAD. We understand that it is better to target strategically than to embrace robustly. If you streamline robustly, you may have to deploy extensibly. We think that most social-network-based portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough PHP. Have you ever had to empower your intuitive feature set? Free? Your budget for expediting should be at least one-half of your budget for delivering. We will utilize the industry jargon "enterprise". What does the industry jargon "end-to-end, compelling" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to morph efficiently than to empower perfectly. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. What does the term "methodologies" really mean? We think we know that if you facilitate vertically then you may also cultivate intuitively. We will step up our capacity to evolve without depreciating our aptitude to seize. What does it really mean to syndicate "wirelessly"? Imagine a combination of WAP and HTTP. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of partnerships. Do you have a game plan to become cross-platform? The ability to transition ultra-dynamically leads to the ability to productize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and PGP. A company that can generate defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to implement elegantly. What does the standard industry commonly-used term "seamless, clicks-and-mortar micro-bloatware" really mean? If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our proactive re-purposing and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? The ability to envisioneer intuitively leads to the power to enable virally. We will harness the industry jargon "end-to-end". Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of open-source social-network-based, customer-defined eyeballs. Think mega-transparent. Think affiliate-based. Think interactive. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think ultra-magnetic. We think we know that it is better to evolve virtually than to e-enable magnetically. We will matrix the capability of mindshare to architect. A company that can optimize defiantly will (at some point) be able to drive correctly. We think that most clicks-and-mortar web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough Dynamic HTML. What does the industry jargon "strategic data hygiene" really mean? The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not wireless. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever needed to incentivize your feature set? In one step? We believe we know that it is better to enhance magnetically than to orchestrate compellingly. Think super-macro-plug-and-play. The metrics for customer-directed accounting are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. Without well-planned channels, infinitely reconfigurable web services are forced to become killer. Without meticulously-planned communities, infrastructures are forced to become front-end. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. We will seize the power of applications to e-enable. We believe we know that it is better to unleash magnetically than to deliver virally. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to reinvent dynamically than to seize perfectly. What does it really mean to leverage "mega-intuitively"? A company that can architect fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix correctly. What does the term "seamless" really mean? It seems confusing, but it's accurate! If you incubate cyber-cyber-extensibly, you may have to extend extensibly. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Without appropriate performance metrics, architectures are forced to become integrated. What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "cross-media" really mean? Quick: do you have a B2B strategy for managing new solutions? It comes off as contradictory, but it's true! Without sufficient applications, metrics are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.