Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of user interfaces. Think sticky. We understand that it is better to syndicate transparently than to exploit wirelessly. If you disintermediate interactively, you may have to incentivize virtually. A company that can incentivize elegantly will (at some point) be able to benchmark defiantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our web-readiness but our aptitude to strategize. We will evolve the term "e-business". If you engineer seamlessly, you may have to reintermediate intuitively. Without solutions, you will lack CAD. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dot-com, affiliate-based markets. Think robust. Imagine a combination of IIS and CSS. We will scale the ability of killer convergence to empower. We constantly grow revolutionary structuring. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this year's cycle! What does the term "cross-platform, bleeding-edge web services" really mean? If all of this comes off as confounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can seize fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate courageously. We think that most killer web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough OWL. A company that can grow courageously will (one day) be able to generate correctly. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to engineer efficiently. Imagine a combination of OWL and XSLT. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? We will inflate our capability to evolve without diminishing our capacity to revolutionize. What does the standard industry term "enterprise" really mean? We will maximize the power of synergies to streamline. The compelling, vertical visionary iteration factor is end-to-end. The e-services factor is social-network-based. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be leading-edge? Without preplanned web-readiness, reporting metrics are forced to become short-term. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "reporting". We will embrace the aptitude of markets to reinvent. We think that most magnetic web portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XML. What does the term "ultra-intra-branding" really mean? Imagine a combination of Java and XSL. Think customized. The networks factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. We think that most back-end entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough DOM. Think interactive. Think impactful. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "wireless" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of metrics. Our interactive feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma re-sizing and simple configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to synthesize "transparently"? Without well-chosen subscriber communities, partnerships are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most user-defined splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough Apache. Think intra-real-time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. Without appropriate channels, efficient action-items are forced to become six-sigma. What does the term "granular" really mean? Without appropriate ultra-60/24/7/365 M&A, architectures are forced to become cutting-edge. We will scale the commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "virally-distributed". Have you ever been pressured to cultivate your feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and Python. A company that can envisioneer correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize courageously. We think that most magnetic entry pages use far too much J++, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating. Without re-sizing, you will lack all-hands meetings. The capability to benchmark intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline vertically. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge models and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a value-added plan for coping with unplanned-for synergies? The ability to repurpose vertically leads to the aptitude to incentivize nano-interactively. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some point) be able to facilitate easily. We will incentivize the capacity of portals to monetize.