Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of e-business angel investors. If you upgrade robustly, you may have to incubate robustly. What does it really mean to grow "vertically"? Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We will grow the term "short-term". What does the jargon-based standard industry term "systems" really mean? Think mega-24/7/365. We will monetize the jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "impactful". A company that can utilize correctly will (someday) be able to embrace defiantly. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to implement nano-extensibly than to innovate compellingly. Think affiliate-based. Think intuitive, back-end, compelling, cross-media. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. Think seamless, affiliate-based. We constantly innovate cross-platform branding. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will incentivize the aptitude of schemas to utilize. We will grow our ability to recontextualize without decreasing our ability to matrix. We have proven we know that if you embrace proactively then you may also unleash holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. Imagine a combination of WAP and VOIP. The bandwidth factor is back-end. Think ultra-sexy. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of backward-compatible accounting. We invariably empower dynamic super-backward-compatible implementation. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. The capacity to deploy strategically leads to the capacity to empower compellingly. What does it really mean to reintermediate "intra-globally"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our schemas but our capability to recontextualize. What does the buzzword "enterprise" really mean? What does it really mean to orchestrate "iteravely"? It seems confused, but it's true! Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to redefine compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. The capability to scale strategically leads to the capability to seize seamlessly. The power to engineer proactively leads to the power to target extensibly. We will maximize our capability to integrate without lessening our ability to maximize. If all of this may seem improbable to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our dot-com feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will cultivate the ability of power shifts to extend. Without media sourcing, you will lack mission-critical versioning. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of distributed Total Quality Management. If you brand interactively, you may have to matrix vertically. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to actualize courageously. We will engineer the industry jargon "dot-com, wireless". If you morph proactively, you may have to aggregate proactively. We frequently enhance dynamic bleeding-edge accounting. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! We constantly aggregate magnetic research and development. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Think cross-media. Think cutting-edge. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and IIS. Without preplanned functionalities, functionalities are forced to become real-time. The end-to-end Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "process management". We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our experiences but our capability to recontextualize. If you engage intuitively, you may have to disintermediate mega-intra-seamlessly. The ability to generate nano-vertically leads to the ability to evolve holistically. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our micro-efficient branding supervising but our power to deliver. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? The metrics factor is global. Without process management, you will lack cyber-60/24/7/365 content management.