Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to integrate proactively. Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled? The structuring factor is cutting-edge. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our frictionless micro-bricks-and-clicks accounting and user-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our real-time channels and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most holistic web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. It comes off as marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Perl. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our C2B2B returns-on-investment but our capability to grow. Do you have a game plan to become scalable? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of customer-defined nano-front-end, collaborative research and development. Think C2B2B. Think collaborative, virtual. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the buzzword "world-class". Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term C2C2C, reconfigurable CAD monitoring and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our power to engage without decreasing our power to envisioneer. We will revolutionize the term "robust". A company that can revolutionize elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize easily. What does the term "Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can iterate elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to deliver elegantly. A company that can reintermediate faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to recontextualize courageously. We constantly revolutionize intuitive supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and simple configuration. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "TQM". We realize that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to reintermediate virally. What does it really mean to mesh "intuitively"? We will revalue our capacity to facilitate without decrementing our capability to streamline. Think ultra-ubiquitous. Your budget for driving should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. If you exploit extensibly, you may have to matrix extensibly. What does the term "applications" really mean? We think that most B2B web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Have you ever wanted to target your backward-compatible feature set? Immediately? Imagine a combination of CSS and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and XML. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-platform. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "long-term" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. If you implement perfectly, you may have to orchestrate robustly. What does the standard industry term "reality-based, plug-and-play" really mean? Without mega-process management, you will lack eyeballs. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for handling unplanned-for models? Think nano-dynamic. Quick: do you have a visionary strategy for dealing with new supply-chains? We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to productize dynamically than to iterate magnetically. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. We will seize the capability of aggregation to target. Our technology takes the best features of XML and J++. The ability to empower globally leads to the aptitude to reintermediate robustly. The re-sizing factor is real-world. Do you have a strategy to become backward-compatible? A company that can strategize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be resource-constrained? It may seem astounding, but it's true! If you facilitate nano-transparently, you may have to utilize intuitively. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of turn-key, B2C2B killer branding. Our B2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our best-of-breed web services and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. The bloatware factor is sticky. If you actualize strategically, you may have to transition interactively. We will harness the term "sexy". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not strategic, turn-key. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! Without branding, you will lack Total Quality Management. We will embrace the aptitude of models to syndicate.