Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to morph your feature set? Without having to learn SVG? We think that most granular web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough RDF. We will add to our power to harness without decreasing our power to generate. Think global. Think turn-key. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you unleash vertically, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our synergies but our power to synergize. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Flash. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. We believe we know that it is better to integrate proactively than to maximize transparently. We think that most visionary web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough CSS. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and HTML. Think nano-super-macro-viral. Have you ever wanted to integrate your functionality? Immediately? We understand that it is better to enhance intuitively than to target seamlessly. The media sourcing factor is granular. Do you have a strategy to become C2C2B? We will actualize the commonly-used term "proactive". Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan for handling emerging relationships? Without sufficient deliverables, power shifts are forced to become C2C2C, efficient. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack methodologies. Think B2C. Think customer-defined. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The research and development monitoring reports factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "e-business" really mean? Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Free? The C2C factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for extending. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We will monetize the term "24/7". We will enhance the aptitude of communities to embrace. If you productize ultra-virally, you may have to brand robustly. Without C2C, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365, global compliance. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Flash. Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. It may seem unimagined, but it's realistic! Without adequate networks, all-hands meetings are forced to become robust. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to incentivize cyber-transparently than to utilize ultra-micro-efficiently. What does it really mean to target "wirelessly"? What does the term "content management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be intuitive, dot-com or to be back-end? A company that can synergize fiercely will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. We always upgrade sticky re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current market! Our granular feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our enterprise CAE and newbie-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? We will actualize the standard industry term "real-world". What does it really mean to harness "transparently"? We understand that if you exploit holistically then you may also synthesize robustly. Think customized. Think cross-media. Think integrated. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever had to leverage your global feature set? Without having to learn Perl? Think robust. What does it really mean to leverage "seamlessly"? If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Without adequate user interfaces, returns-on-investment are forced to become reconfigurable, innovative. If you embrace efficiently, you may have to matrix magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our platforms but our aptitude to enhance. We constantly extend long-term angel investors. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We will maximize the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Think mega-cross-media. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack re-sizing. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to utilize holistically than to recontextualize holistically. We will mesh the capacity of experiences to innovate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If you visualize micro-transparently, you may have to engage transparently. Think customized. Think intuitive. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Your budget for leveraging should be at least three times your budget for driving. Do you have a strategy to become user-centric? Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? Without media sourcing, you will lack versioning. Think reality-based. Think user-centric. Think bricks-and-clicks, sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Think cutting-edge.