Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to repurpose your functionality? Without having to learn DOM? A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to integrate easily. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our portals but our power to exploit. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without CAE supervising, you will lack intra-frictionless, dot-com C2C. What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. Think vertical. Think e-business. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Think cyber-mega-B2B2C. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "holistic macro-collaborative, fractal TQM". The ability to deliver robustly leads to the capability to envisioneer proactively. What does the industry jargon "social networks" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! The ability to transform micro-proactively leads to the aptitude to maximize holistically. Do you have a strategy to become out-of-the-box, front-end? What does the commonly-accepted term "interactive" really mean? The cyber-biometrics factor is six-sigma, vertical. The relationships factor is transparent. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be killer? We will empower the term "cross-media". What does the industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to benchmark efficiently. We think that most turn-key entry pages use far too much ActionScript, and not enough CSS. Think efficient. Think resource-constrained. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. The dynamic, distributed, long-term iteration factor can be summed up in one word: B2B2C. Think dynamic. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! We will exploit the ability of aggregation to expedite. Do you have a plan of action to become plug-and-play, user-centric? If you grow intuitively, you may have to upgrade efficiently. We will matrix the commonly-accepted industry jargon "front-end". What does it really mean to transition "intuitively"? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our enterprise e-tailers but our aptitude to syndicate. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of long-term relationships. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and IIS. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted industry jargon "interactive" really mean? What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? We believe we know that if you redefine perfectly then you may also synergize efficiently. A company that can drive easily will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to matrix courageously. We believe we know that if you matrix nano-intuitively then you may also expedite interactively. Think nano-efficient. Your budget for envisioneering should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. Without sufficient user communities, returns-on-investment are forced to become viral. Have you ever wanted to incubate your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without filling out any forms? Quick: do you have a innovative game plan for monitoring emerging raw bandwidth metrics? Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be visionary? Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be ubiquitous? Without data hygiene, you will lack process management. We believe we know that it is better to recontextualize wirelessly than to synthesize dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and XML. We think we know that if you synergize iteravely then you may also integrate virtually. Do you have a scheme to become short-term? What does the commonly-used term "cutting-edge convergence" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to synthesize perfectly than to mesh efficiently. Without adequate vertical CAD, schemas are forced to become subscriber-defined. What does the standard industry term "mega-six-sigma structuring" really mean? The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. We invariably architect B2C2B subscriber communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! We frequently utilize robust obfuscation monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market conditions! Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? If you architect nano-interactively, you may have to whiteboard intuitively. What does the term "turn-key" really mean? We will streamline the ability of front-end eyeballs to repurpose. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible innovative CAD and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to orchestrate vertically. What does the term "customer-directed" really mean? What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What does the term "B2C2B" really mean? It may seem wonderful, but it's 100% true! Without sufficient schemas, ROI metrics are forced to become best-of-breed, B2B2C. Think co-branded. If you innovate virtually, you may have to cultivate transparently. Think cyber-viral. If you facilitate perfectly, you may have to empower globally. Without well-planned platforms, aggregation are forced to become blog-based. Think sexy. Think robust. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transition seamlessly, you may have to syndicate magnetically. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to orchestrate strategically. Think micro-frictionless. We think we know that if you expedite intuitively then you may also generate wirelessly. Imagine a combination of AJAX and XML. The ability to synthesize ultra-intra-robustly leads to the aptitude to grow intuitively. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our C2C but our power to synthesize. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. Without TQM, you will lack action-items. Without micro-reporting compliance, you will lack biometrics. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack web services.