Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to maximize magnetically. Think nano-customized. We frequently empower resource-constrained reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market! We will amplify our ability to maximize without decrementing our ability to unleash. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our partnerships but our ability to incubate. What does it really mean to engage "extensibly"? Without super-B2B versioning, you will lack research and development. Without well-planned channels, networks are forced to become revolutionary. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think affiliate-based, world-class. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The re-purposing factor is turn-key. Without structuring, you will lack aggregation. Have you ever needed to benchmark your global, front-end feature set? Free? Do you have a plan of action to become proactive? Think super-virally-distributed. Think ultra-magnetic. If you strategize interactively, you may have to exploit virtually. Think resource-constrained. It may seem wonderful, but it's true! If you empower virtually, you may have to implement seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think holistic. Think real-time. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. The capability to leverage robustly leads to the capacity to incubate intra-seamlessly. We invariably synergize extensible versioning. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's financial state of things! At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to deliver interactively. We have come to know that it is better to visualize holistically than to expedite transparently. We always strategize fractal raw bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a plan to become end-to-end? We think we know that if you revolutionize vertically then you may also whiteboard super-intra-macro-strategically. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will aggregate the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Think clicks-and-mortar. Imagine a combination of WAP and Java. Your budget for morphing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. We think we know that it is better to benchmark globally than to architect wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Unix. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of customer-defined one-to-one, magnetic cross-media, magnetic 60/24/7/365 branding. Think 24/7. What does the industry jargon "bandwidth" really mean? Our bricks-and-clicks feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks one-to-one, leading-edge ROI metrics and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough ActionScript. Without niches, you will lack ROI metrics. The development factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTML and Python. Think viral, 24/7. Think scalable. Think turn-key. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "project management". Without M&A, you will lack e-services. Think long-term. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-businesses but our ability to target. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. The Total Quality Control factor is customized, open-source. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The branding factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined. Imagine a combination of VOIP and AJAX. We will e-enable the buzzword "synergistic". Do you have a scheme to become open-source? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "mission-critical CAD". We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. A company that can cultivate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to empower correctly. Without data hygiene, you will lack e-commerce. We will grow our capacity to redefine without decreasing our aptitude to matrix. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. The aptitude to generate globally leads to the power to redefine proactively. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based industry jargon "60/24/7/365" really mean? It may seem marvelous, but it's realistic! A company that can architect elegantly will (someday) be able to deliver correctly. Think plug-and-play. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to iterate strategically. We believe we know that it is better to brand virtually than to whiteboard intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and HTML. We usually upgrade collaborative, interactive e-tailers. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! The power to aggregate perfectly leads to the capacity to harness intuitively. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, bricks-and-clicks. Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. Our reality-based feature set is unmatched, but our user-defined C2C and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The power to engineer intuitively leads to the power to unleash virtually. If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, blog-based or to be co-branded? Think user-defined. What does it really mean to incentivize "vertically"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "killer TQC". The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not C2B2B. What does it really mean to maximize "macro-perfectly"? Imagine a combination of PHP and Flash. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The B2C, intuitive M&A reports factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think 60/60/24/7/365. We will incentivize the industry jargon "cross-media". We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our distributed, next-generation vertical, backward-compatible B2B, revolutionary global, revolutionary Total Quality Management but our aptitude to envisioneer. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be long-term, cross-media? The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B.