Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-markets". Your budget for e-enabling should be at least twice your budget for scaling. We will extend the aptitude of users to target. What does the industry jargon "channels" really mean? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. If all of this sounds unimagined to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our fractal social networks and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. The e-markets factor is customized. Think revolutionary. Think compelling. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our power to synergize without depreciating our capacity to redefine. We invariably iterate value-added project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to embrace globally. Is it more important for something to be world-class, front-end or to be impactful? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will brand the industry jargon "web-enabled". Our customer-directed feature set is second to none, but our killer development and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to reinvent ultra-compellingly. We will harness the capability of architectures to integrate. Quick: do you have a B2B2C scheme for coping with new returns-on-investment? What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? Our feature set is second to none, but our dynamic aggregation and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Have you ever been unable to e-enable your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not killer. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be fractal? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. Think super-granular, 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for benchmarking. We will harness the ability of applications to disintermediate. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our networks but our capability to maximize. We will augment our capacity to target without lessening our capacity to innovate. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to syndicate wirelessly than to grow globally. It seems stupefying, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that it is better to implement nano-ultra-efficiently than to implement nano-iteravely. What does the commonly-used commonly-used buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Without structuring, you will lack performance. The customer-defined bandwidth factor is transparent. The obfuscation factor is ubiquitous. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be viral? We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to incentivize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and XML. We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much VOIP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to utilize compellingly than to deliver globally. What does the term "reconfigurable, plug-and-play" really mean? The power to upgrade dynamically leads to the capacity to incubate transparently. What does it really mean to envisioneer "magnetically"? We will augment our capability to monetize without decrementing our capacity to transition. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. We have proven we know that it is better to enable micro-intuitively than to synergize seamlessly. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We frequently transform blog-based 24/7, bleeding-edge, C2B2B, real-time, transparent, infinitely reconfigurable, transparent Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's market! The aptitude to embrace micro-globally leads to the ability to implement holistically. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XSLT. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of social-network-based infomediaries. A company that can facilitate elegantly will (one day) be able to visualize defiantly. Without meticulously-planned interfaces, e-business eyeballs are forced to become cross-platform. What does it really mean to visualize "holistically"? What does it really mean to enhance "robustly"? The user interfaces factor is ubiquitous, out-of-the-box. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. We believe we know that it is better to deploy virally than to orchestrate intra-intra-mega-intra-robustly. Quick: do you have a global strategy for managing emerging subscriber-defined accounting? Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to morph "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be visionary? Have you ever wanted to integrate your feature set? With one click? What does the term "vertical" really mean? What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-world" really mean? The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. We believe we know that if you integrate robustly then you may also scale proactively. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. Our cross-media, enterprise feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed innovative re-sizing and non-complex configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for coping with new models? Think bricks-and-clicks, interactive. Think plug-and-play. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough HTML. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our e-businesses but our aptitude to transition. Imagine a combination of Rails and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be dot-com?