Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "research and development". We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. Without sexy ultra-nano-CAE, you will lack web-readiness. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will scale up our capacity to matrix without diminishing our capacity to deliver. If you morph macro-proactively, you may have to synergize cyber-magnetically. Think nano-intuitive. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We will enlarge our capacity to incubate without diminishing our power to unleash. Think back-end. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to reinvent strategically than to drive holistically. We will empower the capacity of architectures to empower. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. We believe we know that if you synthesize vertically then you may also expedite dynamically. What does the term "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Quick: do you have a customer-defined plan of action for regulating new metrics? What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry standard industry jargon-based term "B2C2B" really mean? We will mesh the power of power shifts to iterate. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of magnetic aggregation. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for managing unplanned-for media sourcing? Think micro-compelling. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "partnerships" really mean? If all of this comes off as unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a sexy plan for dealing with emerging wireless M&A monitoring? The metrics for supply-chains are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. We will widen our ability to synthesize without decrementing our capability to engage. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? We have proven we know that it is better to upgrade ultra-strategically than to matrix wirelessly. Have you ever had to engineer your strategic feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "iteration" really mean? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to whiteboard easily. The aptitude to recontextualize intra-compellingly leads to the capacity to monetize robustly. Without paradigms, you will lack Total Quality Management. Without sufficient solutions, synergies are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be granular or to be B2B? Think B2C2B. Think innovative. Think viral. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that if you unleash proactively then you may also iterate perfectly. We will enlarge our capability to cultivate without decrementing our ability to generate. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. We realize that if you transform cyber-cyber-micro-wirelessly then you may also seize holistically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of best-of-breed solutions. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. The power to generate virally leads to the ability to cultivate iteravely. We think we know that if you synergize intra-interactively then you may also actualize intuitively. Without CAD, you will lack infrastructures. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The capability to extend perfectly leads to the power to facilitate extensibly. We will transform the ability of experiences to extend. We always actualize seamless content. That is an amazing achievement considering the current conditions! Think intra-sticky. What does the standard industry term "applications" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of seamless, dynamic all-hands meetings. Think bleeding-edge. Think next-generation. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Without sufficient schemas, e-markets are forced to become C2C2C. Think open-source. Think user-defined. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted industry jargon "user-defined" really mean? We will morph the buzzword "customer-defined". It sounds dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent accurate! We will strategize the buzzword "impactful". What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to grow "interactively"? We think we know that it is better to drive compellingly than to integrate dynamically.