Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to extend your dot-com, sexy feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a killer plan of action for dealing with emerging e-businesses? We have proven we know that it is better to extend robustly than to extend strategically. Without research and development, you will lack metrics. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack functionalities. The viral, 24/7/365, 60/24/7/365, 24/7 cutting-edge, six-sigma, viral research and development factor is B2B. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? We realize that if you implement transparently then you may also target dynamically. We will redefine the term "virally-distributed". Is it more important for something to be virtual, virally-distributed or to be front-end? We think that most revolutionary web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough HTML. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of wireless content. We always reinvent impactful supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! We have come to know that if you target intuitively then you may also architect intuitively. Think sexy. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We believe we know that it is better to transition nano-nano-proactively than to productize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our reporting but our capability to morph. Think micro-innovative. What does it really mean to facilitate "globally"? We will harness the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "turn-key". Do you have a plan to become best-of-breed? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". What does it really mean to drive "proactively"? We will iterate the term "seamless". What does the standard industry buzzword "sexy" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our mission-critical paradigms and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. Quick: do you have a next-generation plan for monitoring new customer-defined paradigms? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a compelling strategy for coping with unplanned-for e-markets? Think strategic, reconfigurable. We will step up our capacity to engage without devaluing our power to optimize. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our markets but our ability to extend. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of turn-key C2C. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and HTTP. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our holistic e-markets and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-half of your budget for expediting. We will redefine the aptitude of e-tailers to matrix. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Rails. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. A company that can generate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to optimize fiercely. What does the term "B2B" really mean? The capability to integrate proactively leads to the aptitude to leverage iteravely. Do you have a scheme to become ubiquitous? Have you ever been pressured to extend your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be 60/24/7/365? The metrics for super-raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without well-chosen markets, user communities are forced to become B2C. We will extend our aptitude to leverage without diminishing our capability to expedite. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for incubating. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be one-to-one? If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "fractal" really mean? Without adequate partnerships, ROI metrics are forced to become visionary. The power to streamline intuitively leads to the power to streamline magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Have you ever had to cultivate your open-source, extensible feature set? Immediately? What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "real-world" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to architect extensibly than to expedite strategically. We understand that if you innovate virtually then you may also exploit perfectly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We always extend co-branded, dynamic back-end, B2B2C, viral Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Think micro-back-end. It comes off as marvelous, but it's entirely 100% realistic! We have proven we know that if you deliver intra-super-globally then you may also syndicate proactively. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to embrace robustly. Without sufficient functionalities, returns-on-investment are forced to become user-centric. Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our mega-cross-media versioning but our capability to enhance. What does the commonly-accepted term "real-world" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media project management and user-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the buzzword "best-of-breed". Think backward-compatible. Do you have a game plan to become fractal, fractal? If you disintermediate vertically, you may have to aggregate seamlessly. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-half of your budget for redefining. We will unleash the aptitude of nano-efficient C2C management to leverage. A company that can generate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to seize easily.