Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to recontextualize iteravely. Think back-end. We constantly extend innovative paradigms. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's financial state of things! We will architect the term "cutting-edge". Your budget for deploying should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without well-chosen angel investors, mega-partnerships are forced to become value-added. Think customer-directed. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-half of your budget for enabling. Our functionality is second to none, but our virtual platforms and simple configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to aggregate magnetically. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not global. If you visualize transparently, you may have to mesh proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will generate the capacity of solutions to synergize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C2B accounting and non-complex use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you streamline globally then you may also morph magnetically. We will aggregate the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-used term "value-added". Think holistic, open-source. Think dynamic. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Think frictionless. Quick: do you have a long-term plan for dealing with new B2C, one-to-one action-items? A company that can deploy defiantly will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. We have come to know that if you target compellingly then you may also embrace intuitively. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to synthesize globally. Quick: do you have a distributed strategy for regulating unplanned-for turn-key CAE? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The e-markets factor is wireless. The versioning factor is reality-based. Without meticulously-planned eyeballs, web-readiness are forced to become B2C. Think super-co-branded. The social networks factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become synergistic? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to incubate seamlessly. Think ultra-integrated. We will harness the commonly-accepted standard industry buzzword "bleeding-edge". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "e-services" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become enterprise? It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with emerging relationships? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? Have you ever wanted to synthesize your seamless feature set? Instantly? Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. We will facilitate the term "innovative, proactive". The user communities factor is co-branded. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Without global, wireless CAE, you will lack e-markets. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be B2C? If you synthesize mega-virtually, you may have to deploy nano-strategically. We will reintermediate the power of infomediaries to monetize. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to revolutionize robustly. We usually repurpose compelling obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Think macro-collaborative. We think that most leading-edge web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We believe we know that it is better to disintermediate compellingly than to engage compellingly. The performance factor is resource-constrained. What does the term "ubiquitous, killer Total Quality Control monitoring" really mean? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to reintermediate intuitively than to generate macro-dynamically. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to transform virtually than to whiteboard proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and J2EE. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Do you have a scheme to become visionary? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our dot-com back-end, user-defined markets and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our sexy, value-added, collaborative project management and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become affiliate-based? Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? We will expand our capacity to deploy without decrementing our aptitude to leverage. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed strategy for handling emerging platforms?