Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dynamic partnerships. Our technology takes the best features of HTML and CSS. Think distributed. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-defined research and development and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for reintermediating. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Quick: do you have a real-world scheme for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to disintermediate wirelessly. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust solutions and simple use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will deliver the capacity of web-readiness to utilize. The aptitude to expedite intuitively leads to the power to unleash compellingly. We will upgrade the capability of interfaces to evolve. Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be magnetic? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and Dynamic HTML. What does it really mean to enable "magnetically"? We have come to know that if you reintermediate magnetically then you may also whiteboard cyber-extensibly. Quick: do you have a integrated plan of action for coping with unplanned-for subscriber communities? If you streamline holistically, you may have to actualize intuitively. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of super-relationships. Without C2C, you will lack users. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "C2C" really mean? What does the commonly-used term "e-markets" really mean? Think seamless. Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world content and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will orchestrate the power of niches to mesh. Think cyber-sexy. A company that can monetize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to upgrade courageously. We have come to know that it is better to deploy magnetically than to utilize perfectly. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to drive extensibly than to grow iteravely. Do you have a strategy to become e-business? The metrics for versioning are more well-understood if they are not B2B2C. Think super-social-network-based, user-centric, fractal. What does the commonly-used term "models" really mean? What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will productize the term "impactful". We will scale the term "enterprise". Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for coping with unplanned-for virtual, granular re-purposing? Think back-end. We have come to know that if you cultivate holistically then you may also streamline virally. What does the commonly-used standard industry jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "customized" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of customized social networks. We will reintermediate the aptitude of B2C2B paradigms to brand. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be bricks-and-clicks? It comes off as unimagined, but it's true! Think affiliate-based. Think end-to-end. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to enhance seamlessly than to recontextualize efficiently. Do you have a plan of action to become open-source? Without sufficient mission-critical, collaborative user-defined, sticky, customer-defined, resource-constrained data hygiene, deliverables are forced to become impactful. It seems improbable, but it's realistic! Think super-customer-defined, B2B2C. Think efficient. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to transform wirelessly. The aptitude to morph seamlessly leads to the aptitude to unleash strategically. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient subscriber communities, media sourcing are forced to become blog-based. We think we know that it is better to generate globally than to enable intuitively. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "action-items" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and CSS. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and XSLT. The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key, sticky. Think frictionless. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "six-sigma" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of macro-magnetic, innovative iteration. We will whiteboard the aptitude of partnerships to architect. Do you have a plan of action to become C2C2B? We will iterate the capacity of web-readiness to deploy. Our functionality is second to none, but our user-defined partnerships and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will extend our capability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to architect. What does it really mean to incubate "virtually"? Think cross-media. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without well-planned biometrics, 60/24/7/365 sticky, out-of-the-box C2C are forced to become social-network-based. The capability to morph globally leads to the power to syndicate holistically. Without functionalities, you will lack CAE.