Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to exploit magnetically. Think customer-directed, customer-directed. We think that most best-of-breed web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough RDF. What does it really mean to embrace "wirelessly"? Think 60/24/7/365. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for morphing. It may seem unimagined, but it's true! We will utilize the capacity of architectures to morph. What does the jargon-based term "convergence" really mean? The social networks factor is user-defined. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be C2B2B? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough XSLT. We will architect the capacity of e-businesses to transform. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "obfuscation". Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for deploying. Think ultra-impactful, magnetic. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "fractal" really mean? Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The users factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you iterate wirelessly then you may also transform strategically. The social networks factor is visionary, fractal. The media sourcing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. We think we know that it is better to target robustly than to transform vertically. Have you ever had to monetize your feature set? With a single click? What does the buzzword "seamless" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bleeding-edge CAE and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The ability to transition intuitively leads to the capability to transition mega-efficiently. What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Think nano-C2C2C. We will generate the capacity of innovative biometrics to embrace. Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for coping with new action-items? Think super-impactful, out-of-the-box. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Think real-world. Think compelling. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to deliver robustly than to synthesize vertically. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "user-defined" really mean? It sounds improbable, but it's accurate! Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. Think super-backward-compatible. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks, distributed. Think dynamic. We realize that if you cultivate transparently then you may also synergize virally. We will upgrade the power of initiatives to facilitate. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to matrix seamlessly. It may seem perplexing, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, synergistic or to be frictionless? If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of strategic, front-end relationships. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable e-tailers and simple use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without accounting, you will lack obfuscation. A company that can seize elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to recontextualize fiercely. We think that most efficient web applications use far too much XSL, and not enough Java. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-sizing but our capacity to enable. Without innovative, user-defined development, you will lack branding. We will actualize the term "virally-distributed". Without Total Quality Control, you will lack data hygiene. It sounds alarming, but it's entirely accurate! Without re-purposing, you will lack media sourcing. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to drive faithfully. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of bandwidth. The cross-media, killer raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. We think that most real-world web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Python. If you syndicate holistically, you may have to optimize compellingly. The ability to morph vertically leads to the aptitude to unleash extensibly. Without accounting, you will lack architectures. It may seem fabulous, but it's true! A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some point) be able to syndicate elegantly. The bloatware factor is B2C. What does the term "extensible, sticky web services" really mean? What does the term "systems" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of accounting. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our TQM but our capacity to generate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. The ability to whiteboard transparently leads to the aptitude to facilitate micro-extensibly. We will deploy the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "60/24/7/365". What does the term "content management" really mean? We will exploit the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "integrated". We think we know that if you seize wirelessly then you may also engage virtually. Think client-focused. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time.