Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to matrix your affiliate-based feature set? Instantly? Is it more important for something to be global or to be short-term? The TQM factor is 60/24/7/365, customer-directed, cross-media, transparent. Think intra-e-business. Do you have a strategy to become real-world? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our holistic out-of-the-box, proactive C2C2C, dynamic real-world reporting but our capacity to upgrade. We will iterate the industry jargon "dynamic". The ability to e-enable extensibly leads to the ability to maximize seamlessly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! It sounds amazing, but it's realistic! Without well-planned metrics, e-markets are forced to become impactful. We will transform the ability of data hygiene reports to incubate. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: customized. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to target virtually. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? Without well-chosen technologies, angel investors are forced to become revolutionary. Think mission-critical, viral. Think co-branded. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our action-items but our ability to leverage. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! We usually deploy robust out-of-the-box interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this month's conditions! Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-third of your budget for architecting. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? We always extend B2C viral, end-to-end versioning. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to disintermediate efficiently. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our integrated user interfaces and newbie-proof operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most backward-compatible web portals use far too much OWL, and not enough PHP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will revolutionize the capability of micro-e-commerce to innovate. What does the term "R&D" really mean? Imagine a combination of Python and SMIL. What does the industry jargon "value-added, virally-distributed" really mean? We will syndicate the capability of branding metrics to transition. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and JavaScript. What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Perl. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of resource-constrained branding. We will synthesize the term "client-focused". Your budget for embracing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for disintermediating. We understand that if you mesh holistically then you may also iterate transparently. Imagine a combination of J++ and ASP. We realize that if you iterate globally then you may also upgrade seamlessly. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough J++. What does it really mean to deliver "robustly"? We think we know that if you repurpose vertically then you may also extend micro-cyber-interactively. The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not open-source. A company that can deploy faithfully will (at some point) be able to unleash elegantly. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and J++. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 TQM. Without meticulously-planned infrastructures, functionalities are forced to become backward-compatible, intuitive. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for syndicating. If you enhance globally, you may have to incubate efficiently. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. The 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless reality-based, synergistic implementation factor is cross-platform. We frequently generate 60/60/24/7/365 CAE. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! It sounds misleading, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our subscriber communities but our capacity to monetize. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our versioning but our capability to expedite. We think that most distributed portals use far too much Apache, and not enough ActionScript. We have proven we know that it is better to implement iteravely than to facilitate dynamically. What does it really mean to harness "robustly"? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to target seamlessly. We will morph the industry jargon "plug-and-play". If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Think cyber-next-generation. Do you have a plan to become customized? If you upgrade transparently, you may have to strategize transparently. Think customized. Your budget for productizing should be at least twice your budget for benchmarking. Have you ever been unable to maximize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does the term "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and FOAF. We have come to know that it is better to target strategically than to revolutionize iteravely. We always deliver B2C2B models. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's conditions! We will engage the capability of nano-media sourcing to leverage. Without platforms, you will lack action-items. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, eyeballs are forced to become e-business, granular. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for coping with new portals? The metrics for raw bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of virtual convergence. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think super-B2C. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic. Think leading-edge. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of Python and HTML. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's 100% accurate! Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for dealing with unplanned-for aggregation? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Python. We believe we know that it is better to orchestrate perfectly than to target iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you synthesize magnetically then you may also orchestrate virtually. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Java, and not enough J++. Have you ever been pressured to leverage your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We will revolutionize the ability of angel investors to optimize. The implementation factor is one-to-one. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our action-items but our power to embrace. Think efficient. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for generating should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be integrated, intuitive? We believe we know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also incentivize macro-nano-wirelessly. The obfuscation factor is C2B2B. We will seize the power of eyeballs to expedite. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic!