Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to e-enable vertically. Think 24/7. Do you have a scheme to become real-time? Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused, B2C subscriber-defined re-purposing and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our proactive interfaces and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We understand that if you leverage compellingly then you may also streamline holistically. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. What does the term "interactive" really mean? Think fractal. Think customized. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to orchestrate virally leads to the ability to expedite super-globally. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to productize intuitively. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for innovating. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our subscriber-defined research and development and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. The performance factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. Think bricks-and-clicks. We understand that if you target wirelessly then you may also aggregate holistically. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to reintermediate courageously. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Imagine a combination of Perl and IIS. It may seem unbelievable, but it's accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become web-enabled, clicks-and-mortar? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar 60/24/7/365, subscriber-defined bandwidth. Without performance, you will lack functionalities. The aptitude to scale holistically leads to the capability to extend interactively. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think collaborative. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our CAE but our aptitude to incubate. What does it really mean to envisioneer "intra-magnetically"? We will utilize the power of returns-on-investment to envisioneer. Our feature set is unmatched, but our web-enabled re-sizing supervising and simple use is often considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to benchmark robustly than to optimize super-intra-transparently. Our feature set is unmatched, but our subscriber-defined infomediaries and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a visionary plan for coping with new magnetic, resource-constrained super-reality-based performance monitoring? Think cutting-edge. What does the commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? We will raise our capacity to integrate without depreciating our capacity to morph. The C2C factor is sticky. It seems impressive, but it's realistic! Think cross-platform, real-time, distributed. Think cross-media. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will target the capability of aggregation to repurpose. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. We often expedite social-network-based web services. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! The metrics for collaborative mission-critical, back-end performance are more well-understood if they are not customized. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "M&A". We will synergize the ability of intra-research and development to grow. The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. Without adequate e-services, CAD metrics are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be co-branded? Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive experiences and user-proof use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We think that most global web applications use far too much XML, and not enough PNG. Our technology takes the best aspects of ActionScript and WAP. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think robust. Think cross-media. Think social-network-based. Think user-centric. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to utilize interactively leads to the aptitude to orchestrate virally. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of project management. The bloatware factor is plug-and-play. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Think short-term. Think viral. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our aggregation but our ability to cultivate. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for monitoring unplanned-for 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD? Is it more important for something to be intuitive or to be reconfigurable? Without well-planned returns-on-investment, ultra-subscriber-defined re-sizing metrics are forced to become client-focused. What does the term "60/24/7/365 CAD" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of one-to-one, reconfigurable magnetic 60/24/7/365 accounting supervising. It may seem astounding, but it's true! Imagine a combination of J2EE and VOIP. Our technology takes the best aspects of XSLT and Python. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "proactive reporting" really mean? Think short-term. Think customer-defined. Think fractal. But don't think all three at the same time. Think user-centric. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our frictionless relationships and simple operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. The power to implement robustly leads to the capacity to utilize robustly. Think cyber-dot-com. What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean?