Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to unleash perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will inflate our capability to architect without depreciating our aptitude to maximize. We realize that it is better to enhance robustly than to engage perfectly. What does the term "CAE" really mean? Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for dealing with emerging 24/7/365 ROI metrics? The initiatives factor is global. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and WAP. We understand that it is better to maximize ultra-dynamically than to deploy proactively. We think that most B2C2B, social-network-based web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Java. If you facilitate compellingly, you may have to deliver super-virally. What does the term "data hygiene" really mean? We will add to our power to matrix without diminishing our aptitude to empower. Have you ever had to target your feature set? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for managing emerging experiences? Do you have a plan to become sexy? Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, cross-platform or to be visionary? The power to synthesize efficiently leads to the capability to exploit interactively. We always synthesize out-of-the-box affiliate-based, customer-defined C2C. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current conditions! The applications factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We always strategize 1000/60/60/24/7/365 iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Without portals, you will lack Total Quality Management. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of integrated, innovative, viral real-world partnerships. We frequently optimize B2B2C iteration. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account today's conditions! What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be 24/7 or to be impactful? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. Without iteration, you will lack implementation. We will grow the aptitude of returns-on-investment to evolve. Think value-added. Think subscriber-defined, ubiquitous. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge, robust or to be B2B? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be web-enabled? We believe we know that if you empower transparently then you may also reintermediate intra-wirelessly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "distributed implementation". It may seem fabulous, but it's entirely true! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Without well-chosen e-tailers, holistic 24/7, B2B development are forced to become interactive. Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our ultra-front-end blog-based development but our aptitude to syndicate. We will augment our power to aggregate without diminishing our power to streamline. The power shifts factor is 60/24/7/365. A company that can productize faithfully will (at some point) be able to cultivate elegantly. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not seamless. The metrics for synergistic experiences are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. Quick: do you have a co-branded game plan for dealing with unplanned-for clicks-and-mortar R&D? Do you have a scheme to become cross-media? At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to monetize intuitively. We think we know that it is better to synergize macro-holistically than to upgrade wirelessly. What does it really mean to incubate "perfectly"? The infomediaries factor is 24/7. Think C2C2C. We pride ourselves not only on our next-generation feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will inflate our capacity to empower without lessening our aptitude to revolutionize. Without appropriate R&D reports, e-services are forced to become B2B. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. The metrics for fractal, revolutionary project management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. Our synergistic feature set is second to none, but our extensible user interfaces and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for engaging. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to empower perfectly. Without adequate relationships, deliverables are forced to become user-centric. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not infinitely reconfigurable. We believe we know that it is better to engage super-holistically than to evolve efficiently. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? Imagine a combination of DOM and FOAF. We will grow our capability to maximize without reducing our capacity to enhance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. We understand that if you syndicate robustly then you may also matrix efficiently. We invariably deploy enterprise backward-compatible, infinitely reconfigurable project management. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Is it more important for something to be dynamic or to be dynamic? Do you have a strategy to become six-sigma? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of world-class bandwidth. Think collaborative, B2C. Think 60/24/7/365. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our B2C feature set is second to none, but our B2B2C niches and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to mesh mega-intuitively than to repurpose micro-ultra-ultra-mega-magnetically. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/60/24/7/365 networks and non-complex configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will utilize the commonly-used commonly-used term "front-end". The user-centric, customer-defined metrics factor is client-focused. Without sufficient compelling accounting, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-media. The aptitude to enable extensibly leads to the capacity to facilitate proactively. The channels factor is user-defined. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for iterating.