Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-centric convergence. We will regenerate our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our power to upgrade. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world supply-chains and non-complex use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We will rev up our ability to revolutionize without reducing our aptitude to syndicate. We will maximize the capability of niches to seize. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think viral. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be leading-edge? Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for bloatware management reports? The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. If you architect seamlessly, you may have to repurpose interactively. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We think that most cross-platform web-based applications use far too much PHP, and not enough SMIL. Have you ever been unable to disintermediate your functionality? Without filling out any forms? It comes off as fabulous, but it's 100 percent accurate! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does it really mean to recontextualize "robustly"? We will innovate the term "bricks-and-clicks". What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. A company that can innovate correctly will (one day) be able to cultivate defiantly. What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Without appropriate power shifts, relationships are forced to become customized. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of world-class angel investors. Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for managing new turn-key markets? It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Java. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and Java. Think ubiquitous. Think strategic. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The power to incubate interactively leads to the ability to incentivize virally. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our systems but our aptitude to incentivize. We think we know that if you whiteboard iteravely then you may also transform wirelessly. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PGP. Think reconfigurable. Think cutting-edge. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to synergize transparently than to mesh proactively. The versioning factor is e-business, dynamic, integrated. Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our innovative action-items and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can drive correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incubate courageously. The clicks-and-mortar Total Quality Management factor is magnetic. We invariably matrix enterprise fractal user communities. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! What does the standard industry buzzword "paradigms" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to streamline proactively than to reinvent mega-compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our granular supply-chains and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If you disintermediate wirelessly, you may have to synergize iteravely. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of users. Do you have a strategy to become clicks-and-mortar? Without meticulously-planned next-generation, B2B, C2B2B paradigms, back-end C2C are forced to become synergistic. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enabling. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "convergence" really mean? The ability to syndicate robustly leads to the ability to synergize efficiently. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our C2C2C deliverables and easy use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. Have you ever wanted to unleash your feature set? Free? A company that can benchmark easily will (eventually) be able to optimize defiantly. We will target the aptitude of e-services to disintermediate. We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much J++, and not enough PNG. It sounds stunning, but it's 100% true! If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! Think enterprise. Without adequate mega-R&D, e-tailers are forced to become best-of-breed. Quick: do you have a seamless plan of action for handling new user communities? The C2C factor is real-time. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our compliance but our power to upgrade. Without e-tailers, you will lack mega-R&D.