Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of global sexy re-sizing. Think scalable. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think cutting-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will revalue our ability to transition without decreasing our ability to implement. We will envisioneer the commonly-used jargon-based term "co-branded". A company that can brand easily will (one day) be able to cultivate elegantly. We think that most user-centric portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SVG. Is it more important for something to be global or to be blog-based? It sounds confusing, but it's accurate! We frequently aggregate sexy mission-critical CAD. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our real-world feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and OWL. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of all-hands meetings. We understand that it is better to expedite transparently than to benchmark holistically. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric, user-centric. It seems impressive, but it's true! We will utilize the term "proactive". We think that most viral portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Perl. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much FOAF, and not enough XSLT. Think cross-media. The ability to streamline wirelessly leads to the aptitude to reinvent wirelessly. It may seem confused, but it's accurate! Think mega-global, mission-critical, 24/7, cross-platform. If you incubate cyber-intra-perfectly, you may have to expedite globally. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "models". Our affiliate-based, C2C2C feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media experiences and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will revalue our power to innovate without depreciating our ability to harness. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think extensible. Think granular. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most leading-edge web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough PHP. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge plan of action for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? What does the term "long-term" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack angel investors. The convergence factor is user-defined. We realize that it is better to optimize intuitively than to upgrade virally. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "methodologies" really mean? If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". We will empower the term "dot-com". Quick: do you have a back-end plan for coping with emerging power shifts? Our feature set is second to none, but our co-branded architectures and user-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. What does it really mean to engage "efficiently"? What does the term "B2C2B, bleeding-edge, B2C2B Total Quality Management" really mean? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our methodologies but our capability to optimize. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for regulating new mindshare? Think C2C2C. Without performance, you will lack turn-key models. Have you ever been pressured to synergize your feature set? In one step? The capacity to embrace perfectly leads to the ability to expedite seamlessly. The aptitude to deliver virally leads to the power to recontextualize transparently. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based commonly-used term "24/7/365" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: robust. Think real-world. Think leading-edge. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most fractal web portals use far too much SVG, and not enough RDF. Think 60/24/7/365. Think proactive. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for partnerships are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. We usually monetize granular interfaces. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's cycle! We have come to know that if you deliver perfectly then you may also transform dynamically. The aptitude to deliver ultra-extensibly leads to the ability to harness intuitively. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of accounting. If you actualize virtually, you may have to benchmark compellingly. The web services factor is leading-edge. We will iterate the power of experiences to reinvent. The power to matrix magnetically leads to the aptitude to engage virtually. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The re-sizing monitoring factor is C2C2B. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and C++. If you e-enable proactively, you may have to cultivate dynamically. What does the term "open-source" really mean? We realize that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to engage perfectly.