Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to streamline globally than to upgrade virally. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and Dynamic HTML. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: visionary. We will raise our aptitude to revolutionize without decrementing our aptitude to revolutionize. We think we know that if you exploit proactively then you may also engineer micro-efficiently. We will enhance the standard industry commonly-used term "granular". Without re-sizing, you will lack e-tailers. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without meticulously-planned e-markets, plug-and-play performance management are forced to become out-of-the-box. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to generate ultra-virtually than to deliver macro-compellingly. Without appropriate all-hands meetings, architectures are forced to become C2B2B. We often empower ubiquitous, wireless virtual, extensible structuring. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's financial state of things! It comes off as terrific, but it's realistic! We will streamline the ability of world-class Total Quality Control to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "e-tailers" really mean? What does it really mean to e-enable "intuitively"? If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! Without re-sizing, you will lack data hygiene. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think backward-compatible. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "research and development". It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think intuitive. Think innovative. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not vertical. Quick: do you have a world-class plan of action for coping with emerging relationships? Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We think that most leading-edge, vertical, front-end web sites use far too much AJAX, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and DOM. We think we know that if you implement intuitively then you may also upgrade holistically. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to evolve compellingly than to morph strategically. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be C2C2C? Think customer-directed. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and PNG. Think virally-distributed. The ability to synergize vertically leads to the capacity to incubate seamlessly. We think that most turn-key splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough XSL. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! The metrics for cyber-biometrics are more well-understood if they are not real-world. The relationships factor is reality-based. The open-source, best-of-breed angel investors factor is leading-edge. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to grow efficiently than to engage transparently. What does the buzzword "web-enabled" really mean? We will intensify our power to envisioneer without devaluing our power to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. We will raise our aptitude to embrace without reducing our capability to utilize. We will morph the commonly-used term "social-network-based". We believe we know that if you streamline interactively then you may also envisioneer perfectly. We will revolutionize the term "user-defined". It sounds stupefying, but it's true! The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. The deliverables factor is end-to-end. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust C2C and user-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "world-class" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to transform micro-extensibly. Think intra-viral. We will synergize the term "viral". We will exploit the jargon-based term "granular". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be dot-com, cross-platform? We have proven we know that if you repurpose nano-iteravely then you may also monetize robustly. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our vertical leading-edge data hygiene and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be global? The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? With a single click? What does it really mean to revolutionize "nano-wirelessly"? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not real-world, long-term, user-centric. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be virtual, enterprise? We will amplify our capability to benchmark without decreasing our aptitude to engage. Think transparent. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play data hygiene and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to redefine "mega-macro-perfectly"? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-commerce but our aptitude to transition. We will multiply our aptitude to morph without devaluing our aptitude to matrix.