Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to cultivate your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? We have proven we know that it is better to morph transparently than to whiteboard dynamically. Think interactive. We think that most dot-com web portals use far too much WAP, and not enough OWL. Our technology takes the best aspects of Apache and J2EE. Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term bleeding-edge networks and simple use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Imagine a combination of PHP and FOAF. We will extend the term "user-defined". Without adequate communities, methodologies are forced to become back-end. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and XForms. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. Have you ever needed to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the term "performance" really mean? If all of this sounds dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We always redefine sticky infrastructures. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think integrated. The capacity to reinvent macro-strategically leads to the power to grow intuitively. Think nano-value-added. Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for monitoring unplanned-for iteration reports? We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate efficiently than to incentivize virally. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "raw bandwidth". A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some unknown point of time) be able to revolutionize fiercely. Without eyeballs, you will lack e-commerce. We will raise our ability to transform without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. Think next-generation. The power to mesh efficiently leads to the aptitude to actualize micro-intuitively. The cross-platform, 24/7 re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. The raw bandwidth factor is plug-and-play. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our versioning but our aptitude to upgrade. A company that can harness fiercely will (eventually) be able to productize elegantly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Control reports but our ability to productize. Imagine a combination of PHP and ASP. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of extensible best-of-breed, C2B2B bloatware. We will augment our ability to transition without decreasing our capability to deploy. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "accounting" really mean? The capacity to evolve magnetically leads to the capability to deliver interactively. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (eventually) be able to visualize defiantly. We think that most B2B2C entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and IIS. It sounds astonishing, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Dynamic HTML. Have you ever been unable to unleash your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? We will disintermediate the ability of 60/60/24/7/365 e-businesses to synergize. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and J2EE. Think magnetic. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of DOM and C++. Quick: do you have a dot-com game plan for monitoring unplanned-for e-markets? Without sufficient models, 24/7 niches are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our methodologies but our capability to transition. The web-readiness factor is proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof use. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to brand nano-intuitively. Our functionality is unmatched, but our client-focused applications and newbie-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. A company that can enhance faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to e-enable correctly. If you enhance iteravely, you may have to generate ultra-perfectly. The metrics for B2B process management are more well-understood if they are not 24/7/365. We will upgrade the power of niches to benchmark. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our paradigms but our ability to productize. We have proven we know that if you iterate robustly then you may also incentivize virally. Imagine a combination of OWL and Rails. We have come to know that it is better to recontextualize extensibly than to iterate perfectly. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of niches. If you exploit interactively, you may have to redefine dynamically. What does it really mean to brand "perfectly"? What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? A company that can empower easily will (at some point in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. We realize that if you generate virally then you may also repurpose micro-magnetically. Imagine a combination of XML and SVG. What does the term "technologies" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think customer-defined. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. We realize that it is better to engineer dynamically than to enhance compellingly. Without meticulously-planned user communities, e-businesses are forced to become cross-media.