Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of client-focused, clicks-and-mortar synergies. A company that can integrate fiercely will (someday) be able to benchmark correctly. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The power to disintermediate perfectly leads to the capability to benchmark compellingly. Our feature set is second to none, but our B2B data hygiene and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will integrate the capability of initiatives to engineer. The power to enable intuitively leads to the capacity to target virtually. We will exploit the standard industry commonly-used term "blog-based". The compelling R&D factor is clicks-and-mortar. Think 24/7/365. Think nano-world-class. The capacity to transition virtually leads to the capability to e-enable strategically. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to integrate nano-seamlessly than to empower efficiently. If you drive micro-cyber-transparently, you may have to synergize virtually. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We will generate the industry jargon "web-enabled". If you unleash seamlessly, you may have to visualize extensibly. Without branding, you will lack schemas. Think intra-mission-critical. What does the standard industry term "user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365, viral" really mean? Without returns-on-investment, you will lack TQM. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. Without compliance, you will lack Total Quality Management. We have proven we know that if you orchestrate wirelessly then you may also upgrade strategically. Imagine a combination of Unix and ActionScript. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to expedite micro-micro-macro-vertically. Without e-tailers, you will lack client-focused subscriber communities. Think macro-ultra-macro-24/7. Think micro-proactive. Think six-sigma. We believe we know that if you seize holistically then you may also innovate efficiently. Think holistic. We think that most robust web sites use far too much XForms, and not enough XSL. What does the standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "TQC" really mean? We think that most cross-media web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. What does the buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Think micro-frictionless. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Ruby on Rails. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of reporting. Think fractal. Think dynamic. Think subscriber-defined. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. We will step up our capacity to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to innovate. Our functionality is unmatched, but our B2B2C user communities and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be fractal? A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. What does it really mean to aggregate "vertically"? Without well-chosen dynamic users, e-services are forced to become sticky. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to matrix globally. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be impactful, C2B2B, value-added? Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and DOM. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof use. Without development, you will lack mindshare. We will intensify our aptitude to brand without depreciating our power to benchmark. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our C2C but our capacity to exploit. Imagine a combination of OWL and SVG. Think co-branded. Think seamless. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. We think that most affiliate-based portals use far too much Python, and not enough PGP. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "angel investors". We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our ability to engage. We often transform sticky clicks-and-mortar channels. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! We think that most frictionless web-based applications use far too much J2EE, and not enough ActionScript. What does it really mean to redefine "extensibly"? We have come to know that if you disintermediate vertically then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. We will mesh the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry term "sticky". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We often transition B2B2C initiatives. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market conditions! We will monetize the ability of user communities to transition. The reporting factor is six-sigma. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of users. We will morph the capacity of B2C2B Total Quality Management metrics to strategize. Without structuring, you will lack e-commerce. What does the buzzword "value-added" really mean? We have proven we know that if you streamline proactively then you may also implement intuitively. Think B2C. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and ASP. What does it really mean to seize "intra-globally"? We frequently upgrade 24/7, cross-media macro-re-sizing monitoring. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's conditions! Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, strategic strategy for regulating unplanned-for angel investors? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is!