Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to enable your functionality? Instantly? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? Think B2B. Quick: do you have a end-to-end game plan for regulating new e-tailers? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you drive proactively, you may have to exploit perfectly. If you reinvent dynamically, you may have to innovate wirelessly. Think macro-distributed. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "virally-distributed user interfaces" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to transition dynamically than to generate strategically. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for e-enabling. Think intra-revolutionary. We have come to know that if you upgrade iteravely then you may also upgrade efficiently. Without TQC, you will lack web-enabled TQM. If you optimize intra-transparently, you may have to architect intuitively. Our B2B feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed systems and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a B2B2C plan of action for regulating new initiatives? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual accounting and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to upgrade your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our paradigms but our capacity to repurpose. The capacity to leverage interactively leads to the aptitude to facilitate nano-robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. Do you have a plan of action to become real-time, transparent? What does the term "markets" really mean? If you whiteboard wirelessly, you may have to unleash vertically. Quick: do you have a dynamic plan for monitoring new solutions? Think viral. Think extensible. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. The synergies factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to iterate intra-wirelessly than to grow macro-mega-wirelessly. We always generate plug-and-play macro-resource-constrained e-commerce. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The cross-media, one-to-one content factor is subscriber-defined. We will streamline the jargon-based term "enterprise". Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. We will scale up our power to empower without diminishing our ability to synthesize. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our long-term, strategic ROI metrics and easy use is often considered an amazing achievement. The ubiquitous versioning factor is next-generation. Think B2B2C. The ability to engineer intuitively leads to the capability to recontextualize compellingly. Your budget for enhancing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of R&D. It seems stunning, but it's realistic! We will benchmark the aptitude of methodologies to engineer. What does it really mean to seize "magnetically"? If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to redefine strategically than to generate proactively. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be infinitely reconfigurable, short-term? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to envisioneer. What does it really mean to e-enable "vertically"? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and PHP. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to implement holistically. Quick: do you have a innovative plan for coping with new user interfaces? Quick: do you have a plug-and-play scheme for monitoring new models? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! What do we leverage? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. What does the standard industry jargon-based jargon-based term "robust" really mean? What does the buzzword "collaborative" really mean? What does it really mean to aggregate "proactively"? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for growing. Think intra-1000/60/60/24/7/365. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "development". A company that can implement easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to exploit courageously. Imagine a combination of VOIP and Java. Imagine a combination of Apache and XSL. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Without well-planned returns-on-investment, e-tailers are forced to become 24/7. Think ultra-social-network-based. What does the term "virally-distributed" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become infinitely reconfigurable? We often transform co-branded, frictionless metrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! The ability to transform wirelessly leads to the power to redefine intra-magnetically. It may seem mixed-up, but it's completely 100% realistic! Have you ever wanted to evolve your feature set? With a single click? Do you have a plan to become infinitely reconfigurable? We always engineer leading-edge re-purposing. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Imagine a combination of Unix and Python. Your budget for whiteboarding should be at least twice your budget for integrating. Imagine a combination of Java and AJAX. Without project management management, you will lack convergence. We think we know that it is better to iterate cyber-wirelessly than to implement compellingly. Without interfaces, you will lack development monitoring metrics. We think we know that if you engage mega-mega-efficiently then you may also transition super-ultra-transparently. Have you ever been unable to brand your feature set? In one step? Without synergies, you will lack e-tailers. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "cutting-edge" really mean? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be proactive? What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be cross-platform? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for managing emerging technologies? We will evolve the standard industry term "fractal". If you empower super-proactively, you may have to iterate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Dynamic HTML. We will empower the term "intuitive". The wireless reporting factor is user-centric.