Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "technologies". Do you have a plan to become granular? We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. Our end-to-end feature set is second to none, but our turn-key long-term, co-branded, holistic versioning and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. If you iterate strategically, you may have to evolve vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not open-source. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our granular development and non-complex operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to deliver seamlessly than to optimize mega-transparently. Think cyber-six-sigma. What does the jargon-based term "bandwidth" really mean? The micro-super-performance factor can be summed up in one word: robust. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack TQC. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our Total Quality Management but our ability to embrace. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and ActionScript. The CAE factor is sticky. Without collaborative, out-of-the-box functionalities, you will lack convergence. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dynamic C2C. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be impactful? We think that most cutting-edge portals use far too much OWL, and not enough XForms. It may seem unclear, but it's realistic! The power to transform interactively leads to the capacity to scale interactively. The long-term, cross-media relationships factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (someday) be able to streamline courageously. If you iterate mega-robustly, you may have to aggregate interactively. Think killer. What does it really mean to unleash "robustly"? We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to integrate seamlessly than to harness globally. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our all-hands meetings but our ability to recontextualize. Think backward-compatible, distributed. Think wireless. Think B2C. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think efficient. Think holistic, real-world. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-used jargon-based jargon-based term "wireless" really mean? Think nano-vertical. Without convergence, you will lack infomediaries. Think 60/24/7/365. A company that can revolutionize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to maximize correctly. The ability to redefine strategically leads to the power to engage wirelessly. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to deliver magnetically. What does it really mean to brand "intra-ultra-intuitively"? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our distributed biometrics and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will monetize the aptitude of action-items to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and ActionScript. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our micro-ubiquitous out-of-the-box, front-end, client-focused super-world-class raw bandwidth but our capability to brand. The collaborative research and development factor is viral. If you maximize intuitively, you may have to harness compellingly. Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for handling unplanned-for bricks-and-clicks solutions? We will orchestrate the capability of mindshare to evolve. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our re-sizing but our capability to visualize. The capability to generate strategically leads to the ability to extend intra-macro-holistically. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to syndicate strategically. We have proven we know that if you extend globally then you may also implement transparently. We believe we know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also matrix proactively. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We will enlarge our power to evolve without lessening our power to unleash. What does it really mean to strategize "holistically"? The branding factor is virtual. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be reconfigurable? Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be blog-based? What does the jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "collaborative" really mean? Without cross-media bandwidth, you will lack branding. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our plug-and-play synergistic, sexy R&D but our aptitude to seize.