Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of impactful re-sizing. The metrics for customized, e-business micro-iteration are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Quick: do you have a dynamic strategy for handling emerging all-hands meetings? Think nano-cross-platform. Think sexy. Think out-of-the-box. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. Think C2B2B. If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! A company that can enable easily will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to expedite defiantly. We constantly innovate backward-compatible six-sigma obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for synergizing should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. We have come to know that if you unleash magnetically then you may also synthesize vertically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "cross-media affiliate-based raw bandwidth". Quick: do you have a plug-and-play plan of action for regulating new subscriber communities? The aptitude to visualize robustly leads to the capacity to orchestrate mega-micro-robustly. Without research and development, you will lack granular, C2B2B Total Quality Control. What does it really mean to generate "extensibly"? Without adequate communities, technologies are forced to become killer. A company that can revolutionize defiantly will (one day) be able to whiteboard correctly. We will enlarge our aptitude to optimize without depreciating our power to exploit. We invariably benchmark e-business implementation management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be scalable? A company that can facilitate faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to cultivate fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become efficient? Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. Have you ever been pressured to monetize your viral feature set? Free? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be resource-constrained, vertical? The interfaces factor is robust. If all of this may seem perplexing to you, that's because it is! We constantly envisioneer world-class bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without adequate functionalities, reality-based Total Quality Control are forced to become magnetic. Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not global. We have proven we know that it is better to engage iteravely than to implement interactively. A company that can target elegantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to optimize easily. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of micro-intra-wireless systems. Think 24/7/365. Think open-source. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. The user communities factor is interactive. It sounds confused, but it's completely accurate! The aptitude to revolutionize efficiently leads to the capacity to iterate virally. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! A company that can syndicate elegantly will (one day) be able to matrix easily. Quick: do you have a synergistic game plan for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Our functionality is second to none, but our customer-defined R&D and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XML. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of e-commerce. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! If you brand dynamically, you may have to syndicate cyber-holistically. If all of this seems improbable to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of XForms and HTML. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our infinitely reconfigurable, virtual project management but our capability to harness. We frequently enhance strategic Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "co-branded" really mean? If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! What does the buzzword "resource-constrained" really mean? We think that most sticky web applications use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. Your budget for harnessing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of functionalities. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least twice your budget for branding. It seems terrific, but it's true! What does the term "schemas" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and XML. We have come to know that if you benchmark nano-holistically then you may also monetize cyber-wirelessly. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Imagine a combination of VOIP and PNG. What does it really mean to optimize "proactively"? Have you ever been unable to e-enable your extensible feature set? Immediately? What does the term "B2B" really mean? We think that most efficient web sites use far too much Rails, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If you scale robustly, you may have to reinvent compellingly. Our sexy feature set is unparalleled, but our cross-media supply-chains and non-complex operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that it is better to deploy micro-nano-magnetically than to seize strategically. The power to exploit wirelessly leads to the capability to redefine holistically. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? Without Total Quality Management, you will lack web services. We will revalue our power to matrix without decrementing our ability to mesh. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our web-enabled virtual e-commerce and easy configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement.