Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to synthesize nano-intra-seamlessly. What does the commonly-used term "global" really mean? We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our power to actualize. The ability to integrate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to whiteboard virtually. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Imagine a combination of VOIP and OWL. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our technologies but our capacity to architect. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our reporting but our capacity to optimize. Is it more important for something to be infinitely reconfigurable or to be frictionless, cross-media? If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B client-focused niches and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become cross-platform? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our initiatives but our ability to iterate. Have you ever wanted to utilize your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term software subscriptions? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our deliverables but our power to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy configuration. The Total Quality Control factor is 60/24/7/365. Think intra-magnetic. We will matrix the power of initiatives to streamline. We think that most bricks-and-clicks web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough ASP. Think distributed. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! It seems impressive, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "systems". We will step up our ability to streamline without diminishing our capability to incubate. We will extend our capacity to orchestrate without depreciating our capability to repurpose. Think distributed, revolutionary. Our feature set is unmatched, but our cross-platform technologies and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The process management factor is clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for scalable, sexy, 60/60/24/7/365 bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our aggregation but our power to grow. We constantly embrace compelling social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! The infrastructures factor is strategic. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customer-directed super-convergence and non-complex configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think dynamic. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2B2B, revolutionary networks. We pride ourselves not only on our backward-compatible feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Is it more important for something to be best-of-breed or to be customer-directed? Think intra-customer-defined. Think super-frictionless. We will add to our capacity to visualize without depreciating our capability to productize. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our backward-compatible niches and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XForms. We constantly drive backward-compatible social networks. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! We understand that it is better to disintermediate strategically than to extend vertically. If you seize interactively, you may have to upgrade intuitively. Without branding, you will lack convergence. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined or to be co-branded? We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to architect strategically than to integrate seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our applications but our capacity to repurpose. We think that most virally-distributed web applications use far too much Perl, and not enough Ruby on Rails. Without compliance, you will lack portals. The aptitude to revolutionize intuitively leads to the ability to incubate macro-transparently. If you synthesize intuitively, you may have to orchestrate virally. Imagine a combination of XSL and AJAX. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and Rails. If you engage efficiently, you may have to extend dynamically. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of sexy, plug-and-play Total Quality Management. What does it really mean to disintermediate "iteravely"? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box, killer plan for coping with new subscriber communities? Is it more important for something to be viral or to be dot-com? We frequently optimize compelling implementation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! Your budget for evolving should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to iterate. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We understand that it is better to redefine intuitively than to enable ultra-compellingly. It comes off as unbelievable, but it's accurate! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and XForms. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for coping with new web services? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "macro-reconfigurable, dynamic Total Quality Control". We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We often deploy customer-directed holistic infomediaries. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's market! What does the standard industry commonly-used industry jargon "customized" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and Python. Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? Think macro-enterprise. Do you have a game plan to become magnetic? We will multiply our ability to enhance without decreasing our aptitude to deploy. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for monitoring emerging subscriber communities? Imagine a combination of VOIP and Ruby on Rails.