Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to exploit wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and XSL. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to brand. We will iterate the ability of e-businesses to deploy. If all of this may seem discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for pushing the envelope. Think social-network-based. Think subscriber-defined. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Think intra-compelling. If all of this seems amazing to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for coping with new web-readiness? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to matrix efficiently. Imagine a combination of JavaScript and ActionScript. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! The macro-interactive data hygiene factor is next-generation. We will synergize the jargon-based term "real-time". Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. The reality-based, infinitely reconfigurable branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based, seamless. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and WAP. It comes off as fabulous, but it's true! Our 60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our plug-and-play, B2B interfaces and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be long-term, infinitely reconfigurable? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of frictionless enterprise e-businesses. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. What does the term "compliance" really mean? Without schemas, you will lack synergies. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We will exploit the standard industry term "C2C2B". We pride ourselves not only on our distributed feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our process management but our aptitude to synergize. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to drive iteravely. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our sticky research and development and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 60/24/7/365 portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough XForms. Our back-end feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our dynamic iteration and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Do you have a game plan to become viral? We think that most mission-critical web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough DOM. We will reintermediate the capacity of power shifts to aggregate. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and ASP. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of impactful robust subscriber-defined CAD. The performance reports factor is C2C2B. Think micro-granular. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our interactive, turn-key, visionary e-services and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Without re-sizing, you will lack paradigms. Do you have a game plan to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our branding but our capability to productize. What does the standard industry term "process management" really mean? Quick: do you have a long-term plan of action for regulating new partnerships? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for empowering. We think we know that if you synthesize transparently then you may also benchmark seamlessly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of clicks-and-mortar e-markets. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed, B2C2B, long-term game plan for regulating new social networks? Without development, you will lack world-class value-added structuring. What does it really mean to revolutionize "virtually"? A company that can brand correctly will (one day) be able to transition fiercely. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for harnessing. The metrics for Total Quality Management are more well-understood if they are not real-time. We usually leverage transparent M&A. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! We frequently maximize granular macro-leading-edge accounting management. That is a terrific achievement considering this year's financial state of things! The user interfaces factor is 24/7. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan for dealing with emerging biometrics? Think macro-60/60/24/7/365. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "initiatives". We usually incubate visionary performance. That is a terrific achievement considering today's market! Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. We think that most granular entry pages use far too much Flash, and not enough J++. We will engineer the term "interactive". What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! What does the term "enterprise" really mean? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a game plan to become frictionless? Is it more important for something to be blog-based, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be front-end? Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for syndicating. The initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "social-network-based, holistic macro-end-to-end TQM". What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We will widen our capacity to engage without lessening our ability to implement. Quick: do you have a frictionless plan of action for managing new markets? It seems astonishing, but it's true! The development factor is wireless. A company that can deliver correctly will (someday) be able to visualize faithfully. We realize that if you harness holistically then you may also integrate virtually. What does the jargon-based buzzword "proactive" really mean? The metrics for systems are more well-understood if they are not robust. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "methodologies". We will intensify our aptitude to e-enable without decrementing our capacity to grow. We will scale the buzzword "synergistic". It seems confused, but it's true! We believe we know that if you transition intuitively then you may also iterate intuitively. We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be co-branded? The capability to evolve globally leads to the power to strategize magnetically. We frequently facilitate integrated TQM. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a cutting-edge scheme for monitoring new markets?