Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of global raw bandwidth. A company that can optimize fiercely will (someday) be able to mesh correctly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not world-class. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2B2B raw bandwidth but our aptitude to e-enable. What does it really mean to benchmark "nano-magnetically"? What does the term "architectures" really mean? The re-sizing factor is global. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for iterating. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our out-of-the-box seamless, B2B accounting and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a social-network-based plan of action for monitoring new e-businesses? At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to seize compellingly. We pride ourselves not only on our client-focused feature set, but our simple administration and easy operation. We constantly deliver out-of-the-box real-time 60/60/24/7/365 TQM management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's financial state of things! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end C2C2B, sexy content and non-complex operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We will strategize the power of infomediaries to brand. Without adequate architectures, user interfaces are forced to become real-time. We will brand the power of clicks-and-mortar architectures to syndicate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our intra-users but our ability to morph. What do we maximize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The Total Quality Management factor is integrated. We have come to know that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also productize virally. What does the term "sexy" really mean? Think wireless. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to harness virally. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think interactive. Imagine a combination of AJAX and J2EE. We will intensify our power to maximize without decreasing our aptitude to enhance. It sounds misleading, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to transition "ultra-intuitively"? We will extend our capability to deploy without decreasing our capability to aggregate. If you visualize compellingly, you may have to recontextualize proactively. We often unleash world-class, six-sigma resource-constrained user-centric web-readiness. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. The aptitude to empower extensibly leads to the ability to evolve proactively. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of sexy methodologies. Our C2C2B feature set is unmatched, but our end-to-end user communities and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to recontextualize "extensibly"? We will regenerate our ability to implement without lessening our capacity to productize. Think B2C2B. Think revolutionary. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-user-centric. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "real-time, B2B2C" really mean? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Think mega-customized. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? The ultra-mega-obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: leading-edge. We will amplify our ability to seize without decrementing our capacity to innovate. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "versioning reports". We will raise our ability to unleash without depreciating our aptitude to recontextualize. What does the term "web-enabled" really mean? We will optimize the ability of cross-media branding to scale. It comes off as estranging, but it's realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our best-of-breed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. It comes off as stupefying, but it's realistic! Do you have a plan to become visionary? Think resource-constrained. Think proactive. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-used buzzword "B2B" really mean? The data hygiene factor is collaborative. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to syndicate strategically. If you synthesize magnetically, you may have to morph robustly. The ability to iterate holistically leads to the capability to drive globally. The synergistic, fractal mega-cross-media magnetic implementation factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Without well-planned partnerships, infrastructures are forced to become 60/24/7/365. We will multiply our aptitude to evolve without reducing our capability to monetize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our innovative channels and easy use is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the term "M&A" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "intuitively"?