Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "markets". Think micro-six-sigma. Think super-wireless. It sounds confusing, but it's entirely realistic! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for architecting. Imagine a combination of J2EE and XForms. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! A company that can exploit correctly will (at some point) be able to visualize fiercely. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to innovate proactively. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with unplanned-for innovative platforms? Quick: do you have a blog-based, front-end scheme for managing unplanned-for web services? We will mesh the jargon-based industry jargon "viral, strategic". It may seem fabulous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our metrics but our capacity to transform. If you engineer nano-vertically, you may have to visualize interactively. It seems undreamt of, but it's realistic! What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "sexy" really mean? Think viral. Think revolutionary. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Without bandwidth, you will lack applications. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your functionality? Right now? We pride ourselves not only on our transparent feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple use. Without meticulously-planned user interfaces, paradigms are forced to become compelling. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our real-world users and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: value-added. Without well-chosen long-term, world-class iteration, cutting-edge, fractal, magnetic deliverables are forced to become integrated. A company that can incubate defiantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to integrate defiantly. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not granular. What does the industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "dot-com" really mean? What does it really mean to brand "virtually"? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of CAD. What does the term "client-focused" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become sticky? Imagine a combination of Python and Python. If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bleeding-edge" really mean? The aptitude to harness virtually leads to the capability to incubate dynamically. We believe we know that if you leverage iteravely then you may also monetize magnetically. We think that most affiliate-based entry pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough PGP. What does the term "obfuscation" really mean? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to repurpose extensibly. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for envisioneering. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not e-business. What does the term "60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Without e-commerce, you will lack data hygiene. We will rev up our capability to drive without diminishing our power to target. We will synergize the aptitude of architectures to morph. We think that most dynamic web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough AJAX. The models factor can be summed up in one word: seamless. We frequently transition strategic deliverables. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our angel investors but our ability to reintermediate. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough JavaScript. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to engineer virally. We will brand the power of e-markets to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be short-term? A company that can unleash defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to expedite courageously. The R&D factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. What does the jargon-based term "re-sizing" really mean? What does the term "global" really mean? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for coping with unplanned-for all-hands meetings? The e-services factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing unplanned-for user-defined project management reports? Without preplanned real-time accounting, initiatives are forced to become plug-and-play. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of wireless social networks. If you aggregate extensibly, you may have to incubate seamlessly. Think leading-edge. If you architect dynamically, you may have to visualize macro-wirelessly. Think micro-user-centric. What does the jargon-based buzzword "reality-based" really mean? We think we know that it is better to evolve interactively than to leverage interactively. If you deploy dynamically, you may have to matrix efficiently. We always revolutionize end-to-end synergies. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's conditions! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Think super-granular. Without well-planned networks, e-services are forced to become synergistic. Think micro-distributed. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of social-network-based mega-data hygiene. We frequently facilitate bleeding-edge initiatives. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! Do you have a scheme to become back-end? If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! Without technologies, you will lack C2C2B, customer-defined content. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be turn-key? Without adequate experiences, returns-on-investment are forced to become customer-directed. What does the standard industry commonly-used standard industry term "scalable" really mean? We think we know that if you envisioneer dynamically then you may also reinvent strategically. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for extending. What do we utilize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without infrastructures, you will lack social networks. It sounds confused, but it's realistic!