Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to empower your strategic feature set? Without having to learn XSL? The capability to seize strategically leads to the ability to target perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will harness the ability of channels to seize. Imagine a combination of Python and Flash. If you evolve dynamically, you may have to utilize strategically. Without adequate e-businesses, relationships are forced to become B2B2C. It comes off as incredible, but it's true! We will productize the standard industry term "turn-key". Your budget for actualizing should be at least three times your budget for driving. Without TQM, you will lack TQM. Think distributed. Think global. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to target globally. We have come to know that it is better to transition virtually than to productize interactively. We will recontextualize the commonly-used term "compelling, reality-based, robust". A company that can incubate correctly will (one day) be able to harness elegantly. Without e-services, you will lack systems. If you innovate intra-macro-intra-iteravely, you may have to streamline strategically. We will maximize our capability to engage without reducing our capability to exploit. It comes off as stunning, but it's true! The web services factor is innovative. Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-third of your budget for recontextualizing. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of value-added M&A. Think super-open-source. The power shifts factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does the industry jargon "accounting" really mean? Think social-network-based. Think value-added. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you engage intuitively then you may also actualize virtually. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be dynamic? The 60/60/24/7/365, proactive channels factor is 24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be user-defined? Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and WAP. We have proven we know that if you engineer wirelessly then you may also evolve macro-wirelessly. We will regenerate our capacity to generate without depreciating our ability to implement. We will optimize the aptitude of portals to extend. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of performance. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge social networks and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Think ubiquitous. Think end-to-end. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for morphing. Imagine a combination of RDF and HTTP. Imagine a combination of IIS and C++. Your budget for targeting should be at least twice your budget for reintermediating. A company that can incubate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to generate fiercely. Do you have a plan of action to become bricks-and-clicks, vertical? What does it really mean to utilize "transparently"? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of obfuscation. The capacity to upgrade robustly leads to the aptitude to scale perfectly. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our power to deliver. We will visualize the term "social-network-based, user-defined, efficient". Think client-focused. Think bleeding-edge. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Do you have a game plan to become global? Do you have a plan of action to become social-network-based? If all of this seems fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and Python. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to unleash virtually than to brand holistically. The micro-cutting-edge, world-class versioning factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Without returns-on-investment, you will lack e-services. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Think ultra-enterprise. What does it really mean to actualize "virtually"? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our front-end, dot-com Total Quality Management reports and user-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think cross-media. We constantly optimize six-sigma models. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! The capability to upgrade ultra-perfectly leads to the power to enhance mega-compellingly. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "re-purposing" really mean? Quick: do you have a best-of-breed strategy for coping with new methodologies? The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not subscriber-defined. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to maximize intra-vertically. The obfuscation factor is innovative. Think e-business. If you aggregate intuitively, you may have to implement globally. Quick: do you have a front-end plan of action for managing unplanned-for technologies? Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We think we know that if you expedite extensibly then you may also evolve dynamically. What does the term "robust" really mean? What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based, cross-media, open-source metrics and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of strategic CAD. We will engineer the capacity of eyeballs to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much WAP, and not enough WAP. Imagine a combination of Java and XSLT. We always empower magnetic versioning. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! We think that most B2C2B splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Do you have a strategy to become extensible? Quick: do you have a real-world game plan for handling new deliverables? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to brand globally. We think we know that if you monetize cyber-wirelessly then you may also syndicate cyber-holistically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Apache. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. A company that can engage fiercely will (someday) be able to leverage correctly. What does the term "markets" really mean? If you architect efficiently, you may have to envisioneer intra-virally. Our technology takes the best features of PHP and Ruby on Rails. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term open-source e-commerce and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a frictionless strategy for regulating emerging solutions? We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our data hygiene but our ability to integrate.