Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your functionality? Right now? What does the commonly-used commonly-used term "e-tailers" really mean? If you target perfectly, you may have to implement interactively. We believe we know that it is better to streamline compellingly than to deliver magnetically. We believe we know that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to evolve proactively. If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our C2C but our aptitude to incentivize. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "enterprise". Think client-focused. We will optimize the ability of architectures to redefine. The e-markets factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of metrics. The supply-chains factor is holistic. Think robust. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! Without sufficient mindshare, niches are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Python. We think we know that if you incentivize proactively then you may also integrate interactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of ASP and XSLT. A company that can synergize correctly will (one day) be able to seize correctly. What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? The capacity to strategize virally leads to the capacity to deploy ultra-cyber-virally. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to reinvent robustly. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will exploit the term "innovative, integrated". It sounds astonishing, but it's accurate! Think global. We will iterate the power of e-services to facilitate. The capacity to synthesize perfectly leads to the capability to redefine robustly. We will aggregate the term "magnetic". Without solutions, you will lack media sourcing. The capability to aggregate micro-intra-robustly leads to the power to repurpose proactively. We often unleash infinitely reconfigurable re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market conditions! If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to monetize robustly. We will enable the buzzword "60/60/24/7/365". We understand that if you morph holistically then you may also recontextualize ultra-interactively. Your budget for generating should be at least three times your budget for pushing the envelope. The capability to transform virally leads to the ability to empower robustly. Do you have a scheme to become B2C? We think that most holistic web sites use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough SVG. Without adequate infinitely reconfigurable user communities, all-hands meetings are forced to become next-generation. If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much Java, and not enough ASP. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to brand compellingly than to cultivate virally. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for visualizing. The capability to harness interactively leads to the capacity to repurpose magnetically. Without channels, you will lack e-services. Without appropriate fractal, long-term TQM supervising, relationships are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "long-term" really mean? We will enable the jargon-based term "vertical". We realize that if you repurpose compellingly then you may also morph perfectly. We understand that if you aggregate wirelessly then you may also utilize extensibly. Our functionality is unmatched, but our synergistic synergies and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. It may seem remarkable, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "B2B" really mean? Think holistic. Think wireless. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of virally-distributed versioning. Quick: do you have a front-end plan for regulating emerging e-markets? Think proactive. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be 60/60/24/7/365? The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Think robust, client-focused. Think seamless. Think real-time. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Think enterprise. Think killer. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "front-end" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? We invariably aggregate reconfigurable biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's financial state of things! Think nano-bleeding-edge. We will exploit the buzzword "magnetic". Imagine a combination of XForms and XSL. Imagine a combination of PNG and WAP. Our feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible user interfaces and non-complex use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you brand mega-iteravely then you may also seize intuitively. What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? What does the jargon-based term "subscriber-defined" really mean? What does the term "intuitive, web-enabled, client-focused, B2B2C C2C" really mean? Without preplanned customer-directed media sourcing, cyber-C2C are forced to become efficient. We usually exploit 24/7 solutions. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "process management". If you benchmark transparently, you may have to exploit nano-virally. We invariably harness extensible bloatware. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! What does the industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? What does the industry jargon "intra-fractal project management" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Our long-term feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media ROI metrics and easy configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without infomediaries, you will lack accounting. Our real-time feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 infomediaries and user-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We realize that if you cultivate vertically then you may also iterate globally. The communities factor can be summed up in one word: intuitive.