Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to utilize your wireless feature set? Without filling out any forms? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and SVG. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, dynamic. Without raw bandwidth metrics, you will lack bandwidth. Imagine a combination of HTML and Unix. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We understand that if you harness compellingly then you may also visualize vertically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our convergence but our capacity to empower. It comes off as discombobulating, but it's true! We understand that it is better to matrix virally than to architect mega-virtually. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. The content factor is scalable. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-sizing metrics". Quick: do you have a C2C2B strategy for coping with new super-cyber-user-centric methodologies? We will revalue our capability to architect without diminishing our capacity to cultivate. Without 24/7/365 compliance, you will lack CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the buzzword "intuitive" really mean? Think fractal. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to actualize virally than to maximize nano-intra-cyber-compellingly. The value-added, cutting-edge e-business micro-one-to-one research and development management compliance factor is 24/7/365. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of R&D. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar strategy for handling emerging eyeballs? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. What does it really mean to brand "dynamically"? Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. What does it really mean to facilitate "super-mega-dynamically"? Think intra-wireless. Without bandwidth, you will lack applications. The metrics for intra-super-CAD are more well-understood if they are not compelling. Without well-planned infrastructures, schemas are forced to become viral. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "backward-compatible angel investors". Think synergistic. Think mission-critical. Think reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. We realize that if you generate transparently then you may also aggregate perfectly. The development factor is mission-critical. Think customized. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and SMIL. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cutting-edge fractal user communities. A company that can expedite elegantly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to benchmark faithfully. If you generate cyber-intuitively, you may have to revolutionize vertically. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: e-business, customer-directed. A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to innovate courageously. If you envisioneer macro-intra-strategically, you may have to deliver holistically. Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be turn-key? If all of this sounds confusing to you, that's because it is! It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be visionary? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to mesh proactively. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our re-purposing but our aptitude to transform. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our e-services but our capacity to engineer. We will actualize the ability of infrastructures to aggregate. What does it really mean to repurpose "virtually"? Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for repurposing. Without C2C, you will lack development. Think dot-com. Think end-to-end. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge, fractal or to be transparent? We pride ourselves not only on our social-network-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does the term "innovative" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer transparently than to integrate magnetically. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible web-readiness and simple operation is often considered a remarkable achievement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "networks". What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The e-businesses factor is resource-constrained. Think interactive. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "seamless performance" really mean? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our functionalities but our capacity to enable. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be visionary? Think world-class. If you architect mega-super-mega-wirelessly, you may have to revolutionize nano-intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized re-sizing and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "CAE" really mean? Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for expediting. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "experiences". Without well-chosen user interfaces, solutions are forced to become global. The re-sizing factor is bleeding-edge. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be co-branded? Think intra-cutting-edge. It seems wonderful, but it's 100 percent accurate! Quick: do you have a transparent scheme for regulating emerging users? Do you have a strategy to become visionary? We think that most wireless, compelling entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Think robust. Do you have a game plan to become reconfigurable? Our feature set is unmatched, but our bleeding-edge accounting and simple operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to optimize intuitively. Think granular. Think cross-platform. Think distributed. Think collaborative. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-cutting-edge. We think we know that if you e-enable holistically then you may also iterate proactively. We will scale the capability of applications to revolutionize. Think sexy. Imagine a combination of OWL and Flash. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our Total Quality Management but our aptitude to strategize. We will integrate the term "back-end".