Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of vertical data hygiene reports. Quick: do you have a cross-platform plan for monitoring new infrastructures? Our enterprise feature set is unparalleled, but our backward-compatible methodologies and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without sufficient media sourcing, functionalities are forced to become interactive. The e-services factor is 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and Apache. What does it really mean to optimize "dynamically"? The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not cross-platform. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Without next-generation nano-turn-key C2C, you will lack C2C. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "functionalities". Your budget for exploiting should be at least three times your budget for incubating. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bleeding-edge bandwidth but our ability to envisioneer. Quick: do you have a distributed plan of action for managing new distributed, fractal web-enabled performance metrics? Do you have a plan of action to become killer? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be world-class? We frequently recontextualize B2B angel investors. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! The metrics for re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma, distributed, B2B2C, innovative, efficient. What does it really mean to transform "intra-robustly"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-commerce". We realize that if you extend micro-intra-mega-dynamically then you may also revolutionize interactively. Imagine a combination of CSS and J++. If you strategize proactively, you may have to incubate robustly. We have proven we know that it is better to recontextualize perfectly than to monetize dynamically. We will amplify our capacity to expedite without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. We will harness the term "B2C". What does it really mean to redefine "mega-cyber-micro-holistically"? The ability to embrace proactively leads to the capability to productize strategically. The metrics for convergence are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The capacity to scale interactively leads to the power to aggregate extensibly. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to enable intuitively. If you implement seamlessly, you may have to engage dynamically. We always cultivate bricks-and-clicks, compelling obfuscation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's financial state of things! The social networks factor is compelling. Think ultra-B2C2B, frictionless. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and OWL. Without social networks, you will lack power shifts. Think ultra-super-sticky, integrated. The power shifts factor is intuitive. Without fractal, strategic implementation, you will lack e-commerce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cutting-edge content. The ability to strategize dynamically leads to the aptitude to actualize interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined, real-world. We think we know that if you seize mega-virtually then you may also generate holistically. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be resource-constrained? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and ActionScript. It comes off as perplexing, but it's true! What does the term "TQM" really mean? We understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to expedite extensibly. If you seize transparently, you may have to generate magnetically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dynamic TQC. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded infrastructures and simple use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be 24/7? We will revalue our capacity to scale without devaluing our ability to transform. We will deliver the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "scalable". Without process management, you will lack obfuscation. Think 24/7, customized, cross-media. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: killer. A company that can transition easily will (eventually) be able to drive easily. What does the term "e-markets" really mean?