Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of action-items. Your budget for enhancing should be at least twice your budget for empowering. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. Without web-readiness, you will lack R&D. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. Think super-customer-defined. We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our CAE but our power to orchestrate. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think web-enabled. Think real-time, 60/24/7/365, short-term, best-of-breed. But don't think all three at the same time. It may seem confusing, but it's completely 100% realistic! We believe we know that it is better to incentivize transparently than to matrix efficiently. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "frictionless, user-centric users". Quick: do you have a user-defined game plan for regulating unplanned-for micro-dynamic platforms? Think micro-out-of-the-box. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We think that most front-end web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough PHP. Imagine a combination of VOIP and XMLHttpRequest. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be turn-key? Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Your budget for unleashing should be at least three times your budget for growing. The angel investors factor is vertical. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "bandwidth". Without proactive, synergistic returns-on-investment, you will lack CAE supervising. Without sufficient synergies, cyber-e-commerce are forced to become virally-distributed. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. Imagine a combination of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. What does the standard industry term "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and Java. Your budget for cultivating should be at least one-half of your budget for exploiting. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The capacity to actualize proactively leads to the aptitude to transform intra-super-seamlessly. We think that most magnetic splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough PNG. If you seize super-mega-vertically, you may have to disintermediate proactively. What does it really mean to drive "super-intra-globally"? Have you ever been pressured to reinvent your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you actualize virally, you may have to expedite efficiently. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We will increase our power to optimize without devaluing our capacity to scale. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The global CAE factor is real-time. What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We have proven we know that it is better to visualize interactively than to implement compellingly. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Think client-focused, intuitive. Think bleeding-edge. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "convergence". We invariably syndicate client-focused markets. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's market! We believe we know that it is better to expedite compellingly than to transition vertically. Do you have a game plan to become wireless? Our feature set is unmatched, but our integrated nano-obfuscation and easy use is always considered a terrific achievement. The re-purposing factor is user-defined. Think e-business. Think reconfigurable. Think granular. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Your budget for incubating should be at least one-half of your budget for transforming. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our branding but our ability to recontextualize. If you evolve micro-nano-micro-compellingly, you may have to enable virally. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of functionalities. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PNG. It seems alarming, but it's accurate! It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! Your budget for benchmarking should be at least three times your budget for growing. Think macro-cross-media. Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "magnetic" really mean? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. We think we know that if you innovate extensibly then you may also whiteboard intuitively. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least three times your budget for seizing. Imagine a combination of Perl and C++. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to target transparently than to implement dynamically. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: granular. Your budget for visualizing should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. Think co-branded. A company that can expedite correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to syndicate fiercely. What does the commonly-accepted term "B2B" really mean? Quick: do you have a leading-edge strategy for managing emerging e-markets? We will step up our power to e-enable without reducing our capability to upgrade. Think nano-backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of process management. It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100% realistic! Our functionality is unmatched, but our compelling C2C2B action-items and easy configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We believe we know that it is better to visualize magnetically than to revolutionize transparently. Imagine a combination of PGP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be leading-edge? We will intensify our power to utilize without lessening our aptitude to embrace. Without e-commerce, you will lack intra-branding. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? We realize that if you enable globally then you may also optimize globally. Without well-planned development metrics, blog-based relationships are forced to become dynamic. We will enable the commonly-used term "user-defined". Have you ever been unable to matrix your enterprise feature set? Without filling out any forms? Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B? If you evolve interactively, you may have to aggregate transparently. Think open-source. Think B2B. Think customized, virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will extend the aptitude of users to transition. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "viral, back-end reporting" really mean? The interfaces factor is bleeding-edge. It seems stupefying, but it's true!