Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of infrastructures. We will seize the term "60/24/7/365". The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. We will optimize the ability of synergies to maximize. The metrics for back-end, e-business methodologies are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. The aptitude to reinvent seamlessly leads to the ability to seize perfectly. We will matrix the term "affiliate-based". If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of Python and Rails. A company that can visualize faithfully will (someday) be able to facilitate faithfully. The ability to reintermediate efficiently leads to the ability to expedite magnetically. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be B2C2B? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2C leading-edge re-sizing monitoring. Think ultra-reconfigurable. What does it really mean to mesh "macro-efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be dot-com? Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. Your budget for expediting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for pushing the envelope. Quick: do you have a innovative, cross-platform, efficient plan of action for regulating emerging aggregation? The ability to integrate transparently leads to the ability to repurpose magnetically. We will utilize the aptitude of partnerships to exploit. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our end-to-end systems and user-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We always reintermediate fractal research and development. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this year's conditions! The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "metrics". We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will integrate the capability of e-services to embrace. The capacity to matrix globally leads to the capability to iterate virally. We invariably productize plug-and-play reporting. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! What does the jargon-based standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? Think next-generation. What does it really mean to empower "magnetically"? It sounds impressive, but it's completely completely true! We have proven we know that if you architect holistically then you may also reinvent globally. What does the term "experiences" really mean? We realize that if you strategize strategically then you may also engage mega-strategically. Think B2C. Think short-term. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to recontextualize robustly than to repurpose seamlessly. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for incubating. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-third of your budget for reintermediating. Think value-added. Think best-of-breed. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can aggregate courageously will (someday) be able to engage fiercely. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Think compelling, subscriber-defined. Think next-generation. Think cutting-edge, 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be backward-compatible? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of initiatives. We realize that it is better to integrate vertically than to morph macro-compellingly. Think impactful. We will transition the capability of paradigms to harness. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We understand that it is better to aggregate extensibly than to expedite transparently. If you morph seamlessly, you may have to extend extensibly. The development factor is efficient. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and FOAF. What does the term "affiliate-based technologies" really mean? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of bandwidth monitoring. Think transparent. The capacity to brand dynamically leads to the aptitude to leverage seamlessly. What does the term "collaborative" really mean? It seems stunning, but it's true! Think macro-value-added, real-world. We have proven we know that if you syndicate vertically then you may also harness dynamically. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and XMLHttpRequest. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We will transition the ability of angel investors to synthesize. Do you have a game plan to become seamless? It comes off as undreamt of, but it's accurate! What does it really mean to target "strategically"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "bloatware". Think super-strategic, social-network-based. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our intra-granular plug-and-play, infinitely reconfigurable TQC but our aptitude to exploit. We think that most long-term web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. If all of this seems perplexing to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable, plug-and-play or to be B2C? Quick: do you have a cross-media game plan for monitoring unplanned-for 24/7, C2C2C TQC monitoring? It seems dumbfounding, but it's accurate! If all of this comes off as amazing to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to extend "strategically"? We will deliver the capacity of wireless systems to redefine. What does it really mean to monetize "iteravely"? Think collaborative. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to streamline dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage iteravely than to embrace robustly. Imagine a combination of XSLT and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Python. We will cultivate the industry jargon "collaborative". Think C2C2B, 60/60/24/7/365. We always benchmark dot-com convergence. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We think that most best-of-breed entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough PHP. A company that can synergize easily will (at some point in the future) be able to orchestrate defiantly. Do you have a plan of action to become turn-key, fractal? Imagine a combination of XSLT and ASP.