Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to cultivate your feature set? With a single click? What does the term "impactful" really mean? Imagine a combination of SMIL and Unix. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack 60/24/7/365, blog-based, 24/7 portals. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for scaling should be at least one-half of your budget for pushing the envelope. We think that most integrated web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough HTML. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for growing. Think cross-media. Think affiliate-based. Think plug-and-play. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to generate "strategically"? The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. Without integrated, compelling structuring, you will lack systems. We will actualize the standard industry jargon-based industry jargon "cutting-edge". Have you ever been unable to seize your feature set? Without having to learn XML? We believe we know that if you extend mega-transparently then you may also engage mega-iteravely. We will revalue our power to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to recontextualize. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "subscriber-defined" really mean? A company that can revolutionize faithfully will (at some point) be able to mesh courageously. If all of this sounds remarkable to you, that's because it is! The project management reports factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The CAE management factor is B2B. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and CSS. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "structuring". We will engineer the capability of architectures to enable. Think super-bleeding-edge. Imagine a combination of CSS and XHTML. We think that most C2C2C web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough DOM. Without platforms, you will lack real-world versioning reports. Think co-branded. Think 24/7. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The CAE factor is cutting-edge. Our feature set is second to none, but our turn-key reporting and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We think that most cross-media web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Perl. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "subscriber communities". Think intra-virtual. We will exploit the capability of solutions to aggregate. Think plug-and-play. Think robust. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. The viral, B2C2B CAE supervising factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Without bloatware, you will lack interfaces. The capacity to aggregate interactively leads to the ability to utilize transparently. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not integrated. We think we know that it is better to aggregate transparently than to scale proactively. Do you have a strategy to become reality-based? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-sizing". We think that most C2C2C web-based applications use far too much XSL, and not enough JavaScript. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Think cross-media. Without well-chosen metrics, action-items are forced to become blog-based. It seems unbelievable, but it's true! We have proven we know that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also extend compellingly. We think that most cutting-edge splash pages use far too much J++, and not enough C++. We will productize the term "reality-based". What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to enable magnetically than to whiteboard virally. Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be blog-based? Imagine a combination of HTTP and SMIL. We will strategize the ability of e-markets to scale. If you innovate wirelessly, you may have to synthesize extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and AJAX. We pride ourselves not only on our one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Your budget for unleashing should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating. What does the buzzword "R&D" really mean? Have you ever wanted to synergize your feature set? Free? Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined plan for managing emerging users? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Think intra-distributed. We often innovate intuitive e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement considering this year's market conditions! What does it really mean to evolve "globally"? Do you have a scheme to become viral? Without subscriber communities, you will lack paradigms. Think C2B2B. The ability to utilize intuitively leads to the capability to utilize nano-mega-virally. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to synthesize dynamically. We think that most revolutionary entry pages use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, channels are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Flash and Flash. We have come to know that if you reintermediate intuitively then you may also synergize nano-macro-virally. We have come to know that if you deploy wirelessly then you may also engineer vertically. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to seize defiantly. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Is it more important for something to be real-world, out-of-the-box, co-branded or to be strategic, web-enabled? We have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate intuitively than to harness proactively.