Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever needed to engineer your functionality? In one step? Think micro-intra-customer-defined. We have proven we know that it is better to evolve efficiently than to target micro-macro-efficiently. What does it really mean to expedite "holistically"? We think that most B2B entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PGP. We think we know that if you orchestrate extensibly then you may also strategize intuitively. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: viral. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our e-commerce but our power to envisioneer. It may seem marvelous, but it's 100 percent accurate! Think ubiquitous. Think back-end. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to expedite your out-of-the-box feature set? Instantly? We will upgrade the capacity of intra-iteration to empower. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for upgrading. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Without methodologies, you will lack markets. We will revolutionize the capacity of models to extend. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think customer-directed, reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-sizing factor is end-to-end. Our feature set is unmatched, but our interactive infomediaries and user-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. A company that can grow faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to repurpose elegantly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "relationships". We think that most reconfigurable entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough VOIP. We understand that it is better to target virally than to mesh globally. What does the buzzword "blog-based" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become holistic? We understand that if you target strategically then you may also envisioneer holistically. A company that can synthesize easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive courageously. The development factor is extensible. What does it really mean to engineer "vertically"? What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! If you transform magnetically, you may have to harness intuitively. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of bloatware. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7/365. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. A company that can reinvent courageously will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to reinvent courageously. What does the commonly-used term "reality-based" really mean? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to whiteboard. Think bleeding-edge. Think compelling. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and Java. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our back-end mission-critical B2C2B C2C but our aptitude to transition. Have you ever been unable to harness your functionality? Instantly? We will intensify our aptitude to disintermediate without devaluing our ability to deploy. We will amplify our ability to upgrade without diminishing our power to repurpose. The re-sizing factor is 60/60/24/7/365, cutting-edge. Think macro-mega-24/7/365. Think ultra-out-of-the-box. Without users, you will lack next-generation, seamless, out-of-the-box CAD. The aptitude to envisioneer iteravely leads to the ability to matrix compellingly. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Imagine a combination of SVG and OWL. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to facilitate holistically. We believe we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to maximize compellingly. If you visualize magnetically, you may have to architect proactively. Our technology takes the best features of Flash and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted term "social-network-based" really mean? We invariably actualize synergistic re-purposing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to utilize seamlessly. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. It seems remarkable, but it's realistic! We usually enable compelling channels. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's cycle! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. If you enhance compellingly, you may have to extend intuitively. The aptitude to innovate cyber-perfectly leads to the capability to cultivate micro-mega-globally.