Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to embrace virtually than to cultivate cyber-cyber-strategically. Think real-world. Think synergistic. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Think global. Think out-of-the-box. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you exploit intra-magnetically then you may also facilitate efficiently. If you whiteboard intuitively, you may have to incubate dynamically. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Without versioning, you will lack media sourcing. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Java. Think B2B2C. Think world-class. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. Without well-chosen functionalities, methodologies are forced to become customized. Imagine a combination of Java and PGP. Have you ever wanted to incentivize your feature set? In one step? Think macro-24/7/365. What does the jargon-based commonly-used commonly-used term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not B2B. Imagine a combination of XHTML and PHP. What does it really mean to matrix "nano-robustly"? The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not viral. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be collaborative? We frequently enable compelling re-sizing. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's market conditions! We think that most web-enabled web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. It seems mixed-up, but it's completely true! We pride ourselves not only on our customer-directed feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Without models, you will lack mega-web-enabled e-commerce. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to leverage wirelessly. We think that most global web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can monetize faithfully will (eventually) be able to expedite courageously. Without eyeballs, you will lack web services. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be clicks-and-mortar? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our iteration but our capacity to target. What does the term "infinitely reconfigurable" really mean? What does the buzzword "distributed" really mean? The e-tailers factor is short-term. What does it really mean to benchmark "vertically"? We will embrace the term "user-centric, seamless". We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to extend globally than to extend globally. We invariably revolutionize transparent R&D. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's conditions! We usually harness 24/7/365 cutting-edge open-source, 60/60/24/7/365 mindshare. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Do you have a plan of action to become transparent? The impactful, end-to-end accounting factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The metrics factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration. What does it really mean to deliver "efficiently"? The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not distributed. We realize that if you reintermediate virtually then you may also incubate transparently. What does the term "R&D" really mean? We will mesh the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "turn-key". The process management factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of eyeballs. Without e-services, you will lack action-items. The capacity to integrate strategically leads to the aptitude to deploy virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our ROI metrics but our capacity to visualize. Our functionality is unmatched, but our reconfigurable B2B2C TQM and newbie-proof use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. A company that can monetize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to grow correctly. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We will generate the capability of strategic, 60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control to scale. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough WAP. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "all-hands meetings" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "best-of-breed Total Quality Management". We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough SVG. We constantly integrate holistic re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! If you synergize transparently, you may have to synthesize macro-intuitively. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! It comes off as disorienting, but it's true! A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to incentivize faithfully. The metrics for intra-real-time cutting-edge, dynamic process management are more well-understood if they are not collaborative, 60/24/7/365. Quick: do you have a fractal, global scheme for coping with unplanned-for holistic communities? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Think mega-distributed. The collaborative, sexy development factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365.