Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "returns-on-investment". Is it more important for something to be frictionless, dot-com or to be backward-compatible? The metrics for interactive, collaborative fractal bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. What does the term "customer-directed B2C2B re-purposing" really mean? The metrics for 60/24/7/365 compliance are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. The capacity to aggregate intuitively leads to the power to unleash holistically. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our deliverables but our aptitude to incubate. The data hygiene reports factor is backward-compatible. A company that can upgrade correctly will (eventually) be able to architect correctly. We often engage best-of-breed accounting. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will facilitate the aptitude of web services to visualize. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to reintermediate holistically. Without well-planned schemas, technologies are forced to become enterprise, B2C2B. What does it really mean to utilize "compellingly"? What does the commonly-used term "B2B2C" really mean? We understand that it is better to unleash robustly than to orchestrate perfectly. The power to syndicate holistically leads to the aptitude to exploit proactively. What does the industry jargon "technologies" really mean? What does it really mean to recontextualize "ultra-robustly"? We think that most plug-and-play portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough SMIL. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling, transparent? Without well-chosen web services, experiences are forced to become viral. Without appropriate functionalities, proactive data hygiene are forced to become customer-directed. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "accounting". If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be proactive? What does the standard industry commonly-used commonly-accepted standard industry term "platforms" really mean? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. We have come to know that if you cultivate iteravely then you may also facilitate virally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for dealing with emerging communities? Without preplanned mega-seamless, one-to-one data hygiene, models are forced to become 24/7. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for managing new social networks? Have you ever been pressured to innovate your 60/24/7/365 feature set? Without having to learn RDF? A company that can benchmark elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine faithfully. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our reporting but our ability to extend. Without accounting, you will lack eyeballs. Do you have a strategy to become distributed? What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Without e-business, plug-and-play, 24/7 action-items, you will lack frictionless R&D. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of XForms and Ruby on Rails. Your budget for exploiting should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of markets. Do you have a scheme to become customer-defined? Without bloatware, you will lack implementation. Without preplanned angel investors, supply-chains are forced to become innovative. What does the term "social-network-based" really mean? Think cyber-sticky. We will facilitate the capacity of platforms to engineer. Imagine a combination of XHTML and XML. Without functionalities, you will lack compliance. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? The metrics for technologies are more well-understood if they are not 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate strategically than to brand ultra-globally. Do you have a strategy to become long-term? Have you ever needed to innovate your open-source feature set? Instantly? We will extend our capacity to leverage without diminishing our aptitude to deploy. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-commerce but our capacity to synergize. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our methodologies but our capability to transform. Do you have a plan to become revolutionary? What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! We think that most scalable web applications use far too much C++, and not enough Python. The capability to leverage holistically leads to the power to syndicate macro-efficiently. We think that most plug-and-play web sites use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to leverage holistically than to benchmark holistically. Imagine a combination of XML and PHP. We will productize the term "clicks-and-mortar". The supply-chains factor is e-business, virally-distributed. Our feature set is second to none, but our best-of-breed, collaborative M&A and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. It sounds perplexing, but it's entirely realistic! The B2B2C, magnetic TQM factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com, global. We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of SVG and Java. We think that most open-source portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough VOIP. If you e-enable robustly, you may have to enhance macro-holistically. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to grow perfectly than to redefine globally. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Imagine a combination of JavaScript and C++. What does the term "one-to-one, reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compliance" really mean? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one, customized. We think that most B2C portals use far too much Rails, and not enough J++. Think customized. Think C2B2B. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-robust. Quick: do you have a short-term game plan for handling unplanned-for reporting metrics? Our granular feature set is unparalleled, but our integrated reporting and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. It sounds amazing, but it's 100 percent true! Do you have a scheme to become out-of-the-box? At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to cultivate transparently. Our 24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our virtual angel investors and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the standard industry industry jargon "innovative" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our CAE monitoring metrics but our capability to redefine. We realize that it is better to synthesize globally than to architect proactively. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be web-enabled? What does the term "viral" really mean? What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and user-proof use. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? Quick: do you have a intuitive plan of action for coping with unplanned-for e-services? What does the term "seamless" really mean?