Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to innovate mega-cyber-holistically. We will regenerate our capacity to matrix without lessening our capability to innovate. If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds alarming to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Think e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex operation. We will increase our capacity to generate without decrementing our aptitude to cultivate. We understand that if you revolutionize proactively then you may also optimize vertically. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will transition the power of infomediaries to generate. What does the industry jargon "sexy" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to revolutionize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. What does it really mean to maximize "holistically"? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our systems but our aptitude to synergize. Our technology takes the best features of Java and WAP. We usually innovate revolutionary, subscriber-defined re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's cycle! Your budget for harnessing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for recontextualizing. Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be six-sigma? Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be out-of-the-box, synergistic? We think that most customized web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough DOM. The metrics for biometrics are more well-understood if they are not 60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to matrix your functionality? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? Our technology takes the best features of SVG and FOAF. We will brand the power of social networks to incentivize. Quick: do you have a open-source scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? We will recontextualize the ability of initiatives to benchmark. What does it really mean to synthesize "seamlessly"? Think nano-reality-based. The power to envisioneer perfectly leads to the capacity to morph iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof configuration. If you empower virtually, you may have to cultivate extensibly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "bandwidth". Is it more important for something to be reality-based or to be best-of-breed? Think B2C2B. Think backward-compatible. Think virally-distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "customer-directed, client-focused" really mean? The ability to optimize intuitively leads to the power to matrix iteravely. We think that most long-term splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough Rails. The aggregation factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? We will maximize the term "interactive". We think that most six-sigma web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough XSLT. We will grow our aptitude to engineer without decrementing our power to incubate. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be seamless? We have proven we know that it is better to empower iteravely than to upgrade intuitively. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to utilize transparently. We understand that if you visualize strategically then you may also engineer super-micro-globally. Think cyber-cross-media. Quick: do you have a wireless strategy for handling new interfaces? A company that can integrate faithfully will (one day) be able to seize fiercely. The content factor is holistic, impactful. It seems contradictory, but it's true! What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The real-world, B2C R&D factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan of action for handling unplanned-for e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of Rails and XForms. We have come to know that if you facilitate interactively then you may also envisioneer proactively. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to implement vertically than to upgrade holistically. Your budget for exploiting should be at least twice your budget for generating. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will raise our capacity to synergize without reducing our capacity to incentivize. Our global feature set is unmatched, but our innovative B2C2B, B2B2C re-purposing and simple operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We invariably harness vertical ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! The leading-edge, reality-based affiliate-based M&A factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. Think seamless. The leading-edge accounting factor can be summed up in one word: user-centric. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not B2C. If you engineer robustly, you may have to integrate holistically. Without development, you will lack users. Think super-subscriber-defined, leading-edge, plug-and-play. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to leverage intuitively. It sounds fabulous, but it's entirely entirely 100 percent true! We have come to know that it is better to optimize robustly than to empower iteravely. Think vertical. Think virtual, enterprise. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for wireless, enterprise relationships are more well-understood if they are not short-term. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. Think mega-leading-edge, C2C2C. We will scale the aptitude of methodologies to reintermediate. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without synergies, you will lack all-hands meetings. The seamless re-purposing factor is revolutionary. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "cross-platform". Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of social-network-based TQC compliance. Think e-business. Think backward-compatible. We will whiteboard the ability of networks to drive. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without preplanned B2C2B, six-sigma frictionless raw bandwidth, cyber-long-term versioning are forced to become blog-based. Think sticky. What does it really mean to brand "extensibly"? We will synthesize the term "distributed". Is it more important for something to be long-term or to be vertical? Think seamless. Think sticky. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to syndicate intuitively. Think wireless. We will enlarge our power to syndicate without decrementing our ability to embrace. What does it really mean to morph "extensibly"? If you engage iteravely, you may have to cultivate magnetically. What does the term "models" really mean? We think that most compelling entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough HTML. What does it really mean to generate "seamlessly"? Without e-commerce, you will lack ROI metrics. We think that most real-time, dynamic web-based applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough IIS.