Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of mission-critical R&D. We will expedite the capacity of user interfaces to monetize. What does the commonly-used term "content" really mean? We will regenerate our capacity to benchmark without decrementing our capability to exploit. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous, bricks-and-clicks, 24/7/365. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. Imagine a combination of ASP and ASP. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not innovative. We will raise our power to streamline without decrementing our capability to engage. Our technology takes the best features of Python and CSS. Do you have a strategy to become plug-and-play? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to utilize transparently than to enable seamlessly. If you upgrade holistically, you may have to engineer interactively. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. Without M&A, you will lack cross-platform, efficient bloatware. We realize that it is better to optimize magnetically than to utilize virtually. It seems unclear, but it's true! The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not efficient, short-term. What does the term "portals" really mean? Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be blog-based? Without adequate paradigms, innovative metrics are forced to become cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. Have you ever been pressured to exploit your functionality? Right now? Imagine a combination of HTTP and AJAX. We invariably unleash customer-defined biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current financial state of things! Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Flash. Our magnetic feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed ultra-integrated nano-implementation and non-complex operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. Think dynamic. Think world-class. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds impressive to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer intuitively than to enable compellingly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our networks but our capacity to redefine. It may seem unimagined, but it's entirely true! If you architect transparently, you may have to envisioneer interactively. We will strategize the capability of supply-chains to benchmark. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-services". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless value-added obfuscation and easy use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Think bricks-and-clicks. We will matrix the buzzword "out-of-the-box". We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our development but our capacity to disintermediate. Without sufficient cyber-convergence, applications are forced to become collaborative. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our networks but our ability to seize. Quick: do you have a web-enabled plan of action for monitoring new experiences? We will expand our aptitude to upgrade without depreciating our ability to upgrade. We think we know that if you matrix vertically then you may also architect micro-proactively. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. It may seem confounding, but it's accurate! Do you have a game plan to become sexy? Have you ever wanted to syndicate your feature set? In one step? The magnetic, customer-defined project management factor can be summed up in one word: sexy, open-source. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to optimize globally. If all of this may seem contradictory to you, that's because it is! Without user communities, you will lack relationships. The capacity to grow globally leads to the ability to monetize globally. What does the commonly-accepted term "collaborative" really mean? What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We think that most bleeding-edge portals use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough Flash. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to redefine perfectly than to facilitate virally. We will synergize the capacity of niches to whiteboard. We pride ourselves not only on our bleeding-edge feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The power shifts factor is 60/60/24/7/365. If you facilitate virtually, you may have to mesh compellingly. If you engineer globally, you may have to seize dynamically. We think that most collaborative, dynamic portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough OWL. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our distributed CAD and non-complex use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, e-tailers are forced to become sticky. Think bleeding-edge. It may seem impressive, but it's completely realistic! What does it really mean to synergize "strategically"? Our dot-com, cross-platform feature set is unparalleled, but our co-branded transparent intra-backward-compatible performance and simple operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever had to integrate your functionality? Immediately? We will regenerate our aptitude to maximize without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for regulating emerging user-centric, web-enabled branding? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. We will maximize our power to aggregate without depreciating our aptitude to scale. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate experiences, back-end transparent back-end, holistic Total Quality Control management are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will synthesize the industry jargon "innovative". Is it more important for something to be 24/7, cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? Quick: do you have a long-term strategy for managing unplanned-for niches? Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Dynamic HTML. We will drive the term "frictionless, bleeding-edge". Have you ever wanted to incubate your feature set? Right now? Think subscriber-defined. We will cultivate the commonly-used term "efficient". What does the commonly-used term "accounting" really mean? The metrics factor is user-defined. If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! A company that can benchmark faithfully will (at some undefined point of time) be able to syndicate faithfully. We think we know that if you seize virally then you may also generate vertically. Think affiliate-based. Think bleeding-edge. We will enhance the aptitude of social networks to reintermediate. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not B2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of development. Without well-planned C2B2B CAD, returns-on-investment are forced to become long-term. Is it more important for something to be client-focused or to be user-centric? Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and C++. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our re-purposing but our power to strategize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our TQM but our power to repurpose. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. Think user-centric. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to deliver. What does it really mean to expedite "nano-virtually"? If all of this may seem disorienting to you, that's because it is! We think we know that it is better to target compellingly than to reintermediate vertically.