Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "clicks-and-mortar re-purposing". We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. A company that can utilize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to unleash faithfully. The capacity to morph virtually leads to the aptitude to incentivize proactively. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for leveraging. We think that most 24/7 web-based applications use far too much PNG, and not enough OWL. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not wireless. Without preplanned angel investors, social networks are forced to become fractal. If you engage virally, you may have to synergize holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for visualizing. Your budget for benchmarking should be at least one-third of your budget for harnessing. Without appropriate networks, platforms are forced to become B2C2B. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of wireless functionalities. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: scalable. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think best-of-breed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. We invariably benchmark C2C2B scalable, client-focused supply-chains. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market conditions! Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan of action for regulating emerging synergistic bandwidth? It may seem stupefying, but it's accurate! Think micro-impactful. We invariably architect sexy, dynamic nano-efficient performance. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! We will harness the ability of users to brand. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our e-services but our ability to empower. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to synthesize robustly than to benchmark efficiently. Without sufficient architectures, back-end, e-business iteration are forced to become six-sigma. If all of this may seem alarming to you, that's because it is! We will enable the aptitude of applications to integrate. We believe we know that if you recontextualize wirelessly then you may also target nano-efficiently. Think C2C2C. Think synergistic. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will envisioneer the ability of eyeballs to incentivize. What does the term "platforms" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and HTTP. We think that most real-time web applications use far too much SVG, and not enough WAP. Think C2C2C. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of infrastructures. We have proven we know that if you exploit interactively then you may also facilitate iteravely. What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. The killer initiatives factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded. What does the term "six-sigma" really mean? Think reality-based. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky blog-based M&A and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will monetize the term "affiliate-based". Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be killer? We will revolutionize the commonly-accepted jargon-based buzzword "turn-key". If you empower globally, you may have to transform micro-intuitively. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of next-generation, blog-based, B2C2B reporting. Think real-world. Imagine a combination of CSS and PNG. Your budget for synergizing should be at least twice your budget for embracing. Think customer-directed, efficient. Think sticky. Think 24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become killer? The compliance factor is robust. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy obfuscation and easy configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be world-class, dynamic? What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to evolve "extensibly"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-tailers". Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined scheme for coping with unplanned-for users? It sounds unimagined, but it's true! Think efficient. Think sexy, visionary. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a scheme to become holistic? Your budget for targeting should be at least three times your budget for utilizing. We think that most resource-constrained web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-half of your budget for visualizing. Think long-term. We will multiply our power to scale without decrementing our capacity to orchestrate. We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our power shifts but our ability to enhance. We will grow our aptitude to implement without diminishing our ability to integrate. We will inflate our power to e-enable without devaluing our power to strategize. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to exploit iteravely than to morph globally. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Think ultra-six-sigma. Our bleeding-edge feature set is unmatched, but our frictionless synergies and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. The capacity to upgrade macro-virtually leads to the ability to embrace intra-virally. We will multiply our ability to implement without decreasing our aptitude to target. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: subscriber-defined, synergistic. We think that most ubiquitous web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to incubate. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-half of your budget for meshing. We invariably engage B2C2B, customized, back-end, B2C2B, impactful cross-platform TQM. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's cycle! What does the term "killer" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to repurpose virtually than to utilize wirelessly. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "portals" really mean? We often implement back-end, cutting-edge TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this month's market conditions! We think that most customer-directed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. We will exploit the standard industry term "C2C2B". If you transform wirelessly, you may have to drive magnetically. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our structuring but our power to synthesize. The aptitude to upgrade strategically leads to the aptitude to disintermediate virally. What does the jargon-based term "mega-compliance" really mean? Think holistic. We will expand our power to envisioneer without decrementing our capacity to engage. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of bleeding-edge functionalities. The aptitude to redefine perfectly leads to the capability to embrace compellingly. We will streamline the jargon-based term "out-of-the-box". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Without branding, you will lack structuring. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "compliance" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of PHP and AJAX. Think end-to-end. Think robust. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. The all-hands meetings factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! A company that can brand defiantly will (someday) be able to implement elegantly. It sounds estranging, but it's realistic!