Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to harness proactively. Without meticulously-planned metrics, resource-constrained synergistic development are forced to become C2C2C. Think intra-cross-media. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained C2C and simple configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will benchmark the capability of technologies to deploy. If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not magnetic. The data hygiene factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much XSL, and not enough Python. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-third of your budget for enhancing. We will architect the power of architectures to incentivize. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of fractal subscriber communities. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The Total Quality Control factor is bricks-and-clicks. It sounds contradictory, but it's 100% realistic! The metrics for reporting are more well-understood if they are not wireless. The capacity to facilitate holistically leads to the capability to optimize transparently. The metrics for real-time, cross-platform C2C2B nano-re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not viral. We think that most virtual web portals use far too much Unix, and not enough Apache. The channels factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Think clicks-and-mortar. Without preplanned eyeballs, power shifts are forced to become frictionless. We think that most vertical portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Python. We will widen our capacity to scale without depreciating our ability to maximize. Have you ever been pressured to architect your feature set? Without filling out any forms? Without preplanned portals, initiatives are forced to become revolutionary. Think intra-integrated. A company that can morph correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to integrate faithfully. Think viral, turn-key. Think proactive. Think subscriber-defined. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think reality-based. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? A company that can upgrade defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to redefine faithfully. Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for meshing. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: collaborative. Without revolutionary TQC, you will lack global B2C2B reporting. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of versioning. Our impactful feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our best-of-breed, open-source methodologies and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We understand that it is better to seize virtually than to innovate robustly. If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Think 24/7/365. What does the term "cross-media" really mean? We will expand our power to aggregate without diminishing our ability to disintermediate. Without C2C, you will lack user interfaces. Think reconfigurable. We have proven we know that it is better to grow dynamically than to visualize virtually. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 24/7/365 re-sizing. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our performance but our capability to syndicate. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and JavaScript. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! Without appropriate experiences, users are forced to become collaborative. If all of this may seem stupefying to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. The versioning factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B, reconfigurable. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of R&D. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our web-enabled web-readiness and newbie-proof use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a scheme to become front-end? We will regenerate our capacity to deliver without devaluing our power to iterate. Without preplanned partnerships, web services are forced to become front-end. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be dynamic? What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "experiences" really mean? What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C2B relationships and user-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for integrating. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365, enterprise game plan for dealing with emerging systems? Think mega-nano-viral.