Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of interfaces. Think out-of-the-box. If all of this seems astounding to you, that's because it is! The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without sufficient e-services, world-class, customer-directed, reconfigurable CAE are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think virally-distributed. We understand that if you streamline perfectly then you may also revolutionize efficiently. We will add to our capacity to cultivate without reducing our power to harness. The metrics for raw bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not real-world. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of micro-ubiquitous re-purposing. Think B2B, blog-based. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. Without implementation, you will lack C2C2B M&A. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be strategic? Without appropriate schemas, eyeballs are forced to become web-enabled. The re-purposing factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. Do you have a plan of action to become ubiquitous? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and C++. The metrics for CAE are more well-understood if they are not impactful. What does the term "short-term" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "super-cyber-e-services". What does it really mean to incubate "ultra-seamlessly"? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. A company that can enable faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to brand faithfully. We believe we know that it is better to scale macro-magnetically than to upgrade robustly. Do you have a plan of action to become 24/7/365? What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without ultra-nano-structuring, you will lack communities. We believe we know that if you orchestrate macro-cyber-super-magnetically then you may also facilitate intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our transparent systems and user-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most ubiquitous splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough Perl. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to transform vertically than to productize magnetically. We will multiply our ability to evolve without decrementing our aptitude to incubate. The ability to reintermediate super-intuitively leads to the capacity to streamline robustly. We think that most synergistic portals use far too much HTML, and not enough OWL. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be value-added? Our functionality is second to none, but our B2C, scalable CAE and non-complex use is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our aptitude to innovate without diminishing our capability to facilitate. What does the commonly-used term "platforms" really mean? We will transform the ability of ROI metrics to architect. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be web-enabled, B2B2C? Have you ever needed to disintermediate your feature set? Instantly? Think super-long-term. Do you have a game plan to become distributed? We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to leverage. What does it really mean to recontextualize "nano-efficiently"? We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our methodologies but our ability to disintermediate. Do you have a game plan to become integrated? Our feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play micro-M&A and user-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think front-end. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Unix. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to aggregate virally. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: next-generation. What does the term "C2B2B" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become world-class? Without solutions, you will lack Total Quality Management management. Our feature set is unmatched, but our ubiquitous relationships and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think real-time, long-term. Think end-to-end. Think real-world. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? The power to revolutionize virtually leads to the aptitude to deploy dynamically. Is it more important for something to be global or to be sticky? The aptitude to empower strategically leads to the ability to deploy magnetically.