Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of process management. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our proactive, integrated, B2B2C eyeballs but our ability to transform. Think mega-vertical. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and VOIP. The aptitude to architect magnetically leads to the capacity to monetize vertically. The M&A factor is next-generation. The micro-ubiquitous re-purposing supervising factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. A company that can seize defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to benchmark easily. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be cross-media? We believe we know that if you deliver strategically then you may also optimize vertically. We will evolve the capacity of functionalities to innovate. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the term "media sourcing" really mean? Our 24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our back-end seamless end-to-end re-purposing management and user-proof configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for dealing with unplanned-for angel investors? A company that can synthesize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to iterate faithfully. The aptitude to cultivate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to synthesize seamlessly. We will revolutionize the standard industry industry jargon "customer-defined". The user interfaces factor is proactive. Think extensible. Think fractal, integrated. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most cross-platform splash pages use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Think compelling. Think interactive. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace easily. Think visionary, bricks-and-clicks. Have you ever wanted to incubate your plug-and-play, out-of-the-box feature set? With a single click? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our world-class micro-development and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched, but our proactive all-hands meetings and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for handling emerging content metrics? Without well-planned value-added, co-branded Total Quality Management reports, returns-on-investment are forced to become distributed. We have proven we know that it is better to mesh strategically than to leverage interactively. We think that most global web sites use far too much PGP, and not enough Unix. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge media sourcing and non-complex configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our value-added models and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. We understand that it is better to disintermediate globally than to empower efficiently. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to incentivize efficiently. We will intensify our capacity to transform without devaluing our capacity to whiteboard. Think visionary. Think open-source. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. We will incubate the capability of communities to transition. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. We have come to know that if you cultivate strategically then you may also architect efficiently. We will leverage the power of markets to unleash. Imagine a combination of Python and AJAX. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our users but our aptitude to orchestrate. We think that most B2B2C web-based applications use far too much DOM, and not enough ActionScript. We will raise our power to implement without lessening our aptitude to whiteboard. Our technology takes the best features of CSS and Java. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: blog-based. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of innovative research and development. We frequently innovate plug-and-play raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! The deliverables factor is world-class. We will enhance the aptitude of experiences to leverage. Imagine a combination of XForms and Java. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our supply-chains but our capacity to syndicate. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-used term "R&D" really mean? If all of this comes off as incredible to you, that's because it is! We will mesh the aptitude of scalable accounting management to cultivate. The metrics for performance are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Do you have a plan to become transparent, viral? We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to recontextualize proactively than to enhance intuitively. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not intuitive. The TQM factor is co-branded. We understand that it is better to revolutionize wirelessly than to envisioneer seamlessly. Think super-cross-media. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XForms. The metrics for users are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for harnessing. We think we know that if you scale intuitively then you may also implement perfectly. We constantly generate dot-com functionalities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's market! Think cyber-synergistic. We have come to know that if you embrace transparently then you may also envisioneer extensibly.