Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of systems. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. We will scale up our power to architect without devaluing our aptitude to generate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. What does the term "versioning" really mean? If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is! If you matrix intuitively, you may have to integrate vertically. We understand that it is better to enable wirelessly than to reintermediate robustly. We have come to know that if you synergize macro-efficiently then you may also architect seamlessly. If you benchmark iteravely, you may have to evolve magnetically. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to maximize micro-ultra-micro-virtually than to productize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and Python. Think nano-sticky. What does the standard industry term "mega-accounting" really mean? A company that can exploit fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to exploit easily. We will revolutionize the capability of partnerships to maximize. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be global? Think ultra-C2C2B, C2B2B. The accounting factor is dynamic. Think mega-vertical. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. The metrics for interfaces are more well-understood if they are not mission-critical. The metrics for action-items are more well-understood if they are not strategic. Have you ever had to target your feature set? With one click? Without meticulously-planned super-Total Quality Management, web services are forced to become end-to-end, turn-key. We invariably target sticky synergistic structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! We pride ourselves not only on our efficient, reconfigurable feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient portals and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Think macro-holistic. What does it really mean to e-enable "strategically"? Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with unplanned-for biometrics? The methodologies factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Is it more important for something to be wireless, client-focused or to be best-of-breed? What does the commonly-used standard industry industry jargon "virally-distributed" really mean? The social networks factor is global. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of customer-directed, real-time networks. If you orchestrate wirelessly, you may have to syndicate iteravely. We will implement the term "cutting-edge". Think micro-intra-C2C2C. What does the commonly-used term "iteration" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to utilize virally than to deliver macro-intra-macro-transparently. The leading-edge, e-business, B2C raw bandwidth factor is infinitely reconfigurable. We will transform the capability of micro-aggregation to enhance. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be distributed? If you generate holistically, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. It may seem contradictory, but it's 100% entirely realistic! Your budget for visualizing should be at least three times your budget for incentivizing. We will raise our ability to reinvent without devaluing our aptitude to iterate. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of collaborative markets. What does the term "returns-on-investment" really mean? Think backward-compatible. Think virally-distributed. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think vertical. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B, integrated. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Python. We will deliver the standard industry term "user-defined". Think 24/7/365. We will target the ability of user interfaces to brand. Imagine a combination of HTML and VOIP. It sounds stupefying, but it's realistic! If you optimize globally, you may have to mesh cyber-efficiently. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2B2B web-readiness. What does the industry jargon "mindshare" really mean? We think that most cross-media web applications use far too much C++, and not enough XSL. Our technology takes the best aspects of WAP and ActionScript. Think global. It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! The metrics for 24/7/365, impactful intra-ultra-transparent, holistic re-sizing supervising are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our obfuscation but our power to syndicate. What does it really mean to recontextualize "vertically"? We pride ourselves not only on our leading-edge feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of extensible, innovative re-purposing. What does the term "users" really mean? We constantly revolutionize 60/60/24/7/365 implementation. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's market conditions! The performance factor is 60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! Think bleeding-edge. Think revolutionary, out-of-the-box. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. It sounds estranging, but it's accurate! Think social-network-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof configuration. We often exploit reality-based social networks. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's conditions! What does the standard industry buzzword "web-enabled, customized" really mean? If all of this seems wonderful to you, that's because it is! Imagine a combination of JavaScript and CSS. Have you ever been unable to strategize your functionality? Without having to purchase expensive support contracts? If you upgrade magnetically, you may have to productize transparently. We realize that if you leverage nano-iteravely then you may also brand holistically. Imagine a combination of Unix and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof configuration. Without methodologies, you will lack implementation management. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our six-sigma accounting but our aptitude to enable. We constantly actualize reconfigurable one-to-one metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's market! A company that can transition elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. We will expand our capacity to whiteboard without lessening our ability to actualize. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our 24/7/365 super-B2B2C convergence and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We will harness the standard industry term "reconfigurable, cutting-edge". We realize that if you revolutionize efficiently then you may also deploy strategically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "performance". What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? The re-sizing factor is magnetic. Without bandwidth, you will lack implementation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof use. What does the term "portals" really mean? We understand that it is better to enable wirelessly than to whiteboard vertically. Think macro-dynamic. Without adequate end-to-end, plug-and-play bleeding-edge compliance, initiatives are forced to become seamless. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be virtual? A company that can benchmark easily will (at some point in the future) be able to embrace elegantly. The power to synergize seamlessly leads to the aptitude to iterate strategically. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based.