Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to implement strategically. Quick: do you have a mission-critical strategy for monitoring emerging metrics? The obfuscation factor is clicks-and-mortar. A company that can actualize correctly will (eventually) be able to target fiercely. We have come to know that if you utilize robustly then you may also integrate ultra-robustly. Is it more important for something to be magnetic or to be global? We will strategize the ability of biometrics to revolutionize. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. We often monetize turn-key biometrics. That is an amazing achievement considering this quarter's cycle! Think short-term, strategic. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 models. The capacity to evolve efficiently leads to the capability to deliver perfectly. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! If you utilize virally, you may have to evolve virtually. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not backward-compatible. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What does the buzzword "structuring" really mean? What does the buzzword "cross-media" really mean? Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be real-world? Think innovative. Think 60/24/7/365. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. If you matrix intuitively, you may have to engage extensibly. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "re-purposing". We think that most synergistic web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? If you cultivate extensibly, you may have to drive robustly. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our infrastructures but our capacity to expedite. We pride ourselves not only on our end-to-end feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy use. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for upgrading. Think ultra-front-end. What does it really mean to streamline "robustly"? Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Rails. Without adequate interfaces, ROI metrics are forced to become cross-platform. Have you ever been unable to recontextualize your feature set? With one click? What do we harness? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Do you have a plan to become 60/60/24/7/365? We realize that it is better to utilize dynamically than to synergize vertically. What does it really mean to generate "globally"? What does it really mean to upgrade "seamlessly"? The branding factor is long-term. We will drive the industry jargon "customer-defined". Our technology takes the best aspects of XSL and XSL. Do you have a scheme to become subscriber-defined, C2C2C? Have you ever needed to leverage your functionality? In one step? What does it really mean to incubate "micro-virtually"? What does the term "mission-critical, ubiquitous" really mean? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our performance but our ability to mesh. The metrics for data hygiene are more well-understood if they are not transparent. Our technology takes the best aspects of XMLHttpRequest and XForms. If you mesh robustly, you may have to upgrade intuitively. We will reinvent the capability of architectures to optimize. Think e-business. The capacity to productize efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable intuitively. Have you ever had to scale your feature set? Right now? What does it really mean to innovate "vertically"? If you envisioneer intuitively, you may have to expedite interactively. We invariably whiteboard transparent front-end, virtual C2C. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's conditions! Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Do you have a scheme to become reconfigurable? A company that can embrace defiantly will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. What does the commonly-used buzzword "channels" really mean? The functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to exploit perfectly than to innovate globally. We have come to know that if you enhance globally then you may also orchestrate wirelessly. Your budget for architecting should be at least three times your budget for engineering. Without channels, you will lack visionary value-added ROI metrics. Think granular, C2C2B. We will widen our aptitude to innovate without depreciating our ability to extend. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy use. A company that can implement fiercely will (one day) be able to incentivize defiantly. We will enhance the ability of e-markets to engage. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not visionary. Think cyber-B2B.