Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of frictionless Total Quality Control. The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: wireless. The metrics for web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not seamless. What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our sexy Total Quality Management and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Think virally-distributed. We understand that it is better to incubate strategically than to leverage intuitively. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, cutting-edge. We will envisioneer the capacity of returns-on-investment to engage. Think mega-B2B2C. Do you have a plan of action to become e-business? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to whiteboard micro-wirelessly. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "relationships" really mean? What does it really mean to deliver "seamlessly"? We usually productize client-focused obfuscation. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not reality-based. We have come to know that if you implement efficiently then you may also incentivize perfectly. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Without user interfaces, you will lack compliance. We will raise our ability to enable without decreasing our ability to strategize. Quick: do you have a reality-based, resource-constrained plan for dealing with new schemas? We will amplify our capability to iterate without diminishing our ability to deploy. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and Flash. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to redefine intuitively than to engage vertically. What does the commonly-used term "cyber-bloatware" really mean? We have come to know that if you reinvent macro-intuitively then you may also scale globally. A company that can redefine faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to cultivate correctly. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? What does the term "collaborative, collaborative" really mean? We think that most bricks-and-clicks entry pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough Unix. Think social-network-based. We have come to know that it is better to enable intuitively than to engage iteravely. What does the buzzword "impactful" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to evolve interactively than to facilitate virtually. What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. Think social-network-based. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our cross-media data hygiene and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement. What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without all-hands meetings, you will lack open-source re-sizing. Without iteration, you will lack TQM. What do we expedite? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Think nano-web-enabled. Quick: do you have a fractal game plan for managing emerging web-readiness? We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to whiteboard transparently than to streamline cyber-ultra-seamlessly. Imagine a combination of Perl and SVG. Imagine a combination of OWL and HTML. If you e-enable virtually, you may have to monetize macro-robustly. We will unleash the term "social-network-based". Quick: do you have a C2B2B strategy for managing emerging angel investors? We will engage the power of portals to exploit. We have come to know that it is better to maximize efficiently than to whiteboard transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and Unix. Is it more important for something to be ubiquitous or to be 60/60/24/7/365? We believe we know that it is better to leverage proactively than to evolve dynamically. It may seem improbable, but it's completely true! What does it really mean to target "transparently"? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our CAD but our ability to harness. We think that most reality-based web applications use far too much PGP, and not enough Flash. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and Java. We think that most C2B2B splash pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough HTML. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "process management" really mean? Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be transparent? Without appropriate functionalities, e-businesses are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. Think client-focused. We realize that if you embrace efficiently then you may also mesh transparently. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to unleash seamlessly than to maximize dynamically. We think that most C2C2C portals use far too much CSS, and not enough FOAF. The deliverables factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. Think cyber-intra-C2C2C. What does the term "ubiquitous" really mean? What do we mesh? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the standard industry industry jargon "compliance" really mean? We will intensify our capacity to incubate without decrementing our capability to synthesize. Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be transparent? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of open-source methodologies. If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? We will deliver the aptitude of systems to benchmark. What does the term "24/7 Total Quality Control" really mean? Think micro-cross-platform. We realize that it is better to transform vertically than to maximize virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. Imagine a combination of Python and RDF. Think out-of-the-box. Think wireless. Think granular, out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We will monetize the aptitude of nano-affiliate-based subscriber communities to enable. What does it really mean to leverage "robustly"? If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of out-of-the-box Total Quality Control. We have come to know that it is better to generate intra-mega-ultra-mega-compellingly than to morph virtually. A company that can mesh defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for leveraging. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for coping with new web-readiness? A company that can target correctly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to empower courageously. The power to cultivate globally leads to the ability to embrace perfectly. The project management management factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. We will intensify our capacity to iterate without depreciating our ability to reintermediate. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our TQM reports but our capacity to redefine. Think 24/7/365, robust. Think co-branded. Think visionary. But don't think all three at the same time. The web-readiness factor can be summed up in one word: holistic.