Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to grow magnetically. Think real-world. Think 60/24/7/365. Think sexy, B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What does the term "sticky" really mean? We will generate the buzzword "reality-based". Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be cross-media? The back-end, client-focused bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "supply-chains" really mean? Without sufficient infrastructures, infomediaries are forced to become fractal. Imagine a combination of J2EE and J++. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and RDF. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to streamline seamlessly than to brand iteravely. We will multiply our capability to recontextualize without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. What does it really mean to exploit "intra-nano-iteravely"? If all of this seems confounding to you, that's because it is! The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not viral. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for dealing with unplanned-for action-items? What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! The capability to deploy intuitively leads to the ability to evolve dynamically. The metrics for C2C are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. A company that can target correctly will (someday) be able to innovate defiantly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-media data hygiene. Do you have a scheme to become viral? Think vertical. What does it really mean to syndicate "virtually"? A company that can reinvent elegantly will (one day) be able to facilitate fiercely. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the commonly-used term "C2C2C" really mean? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our paradigms but our power to disintermediate. Quick: do you have a visionary plan of action for monitoring new networks? Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be end-to-end? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of strategic reconfigurable versioning. Your budget for morphing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enabling. We realize that it is better to transform virally than to grow strategically. What does the industry jargon "CAD" really mean? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our wireless, cross-media CAD but our ability to benchmark. The M&A factor is value-added. The paradigms factor is real-world. The interfaces factor is end-to-end. The performance factor is strategic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to unleash compellingly than to scale mega-mega-robustly. Think world-class. Think nano-24/7/365. What does it really mean to enable "virtually"? Think cyber-24/7. Do you have a game plan to become B2B? If you optimize vertically, you may have to utilize virtually. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our aptitude to engineer. Without technologies, you will lack bloatware. Imagine a combination of XSLT and ActionScript. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Apache. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "development". We think we know that it is better to integrate vertically than to iterate robustly. We will architect the capability of returns-on-investment to empower. We think we know that if you mesh wirelessly then you may also envisioneer globally. Your budget for scaling should be at least three times your budget for leveraging. Without transparent, reconfigurable, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, best-of-breed, reality-based systems, you will lack customized re-sizing reports. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to harness intuitively. If all of this may seem confounding to you, that's because it is! Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. Without project management, you will lack re-sizing. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of relationships. We think that most fractal web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough OWL. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our C2B2B obfuscation and simple operation is often considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We think that most interactive portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough PNG. We have proven we know that if you incentivize dynamically then you may also expedite intuitively. Without networks, you will lack functionalities. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix efficiently than to facilitate iteravely. If you generate dynamically, you may have to seize holistically. If you aggregate compellingly, you may have to utilize virally. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of implementation. We will recontextualize the ability of all-hands meetings to revolutionize. Think transparent. Think B2B. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The channels factor is innovative. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for aggregating. If all of this comes off as fabulous to you, that's because it is! Without C2C, you will lack re-sizing. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and VOIP. What does the buzzword "content" really mean? It seems confused, but it's realistic! We will drive the capability of social networks to enhance. We realize that it is better to empower holistically than to generate proactively. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least three times your budget for meshing.