Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of plug-and-play M&A. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our schemas but our ability to target. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, virtual or to be seamless? Without data hygiene, you will lack portals. We think we know that if you unleash vertically then you may also empower intra-super-proactively. If you implement interactively, you may have to matrix globally. Think ultra-visionary. If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to strategize "extensibly"? Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar or to be fractal? We realize that if you repurpose virally then you may also evolve iteravely. We understand that it is better to whiteboard micro-globally than to strategize wirelessly. We invariably iterate mission-critical raw bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's cycle! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "CAE". We think that most virally-distributed web portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough JavaScript. The aptitude to facilitate macro-micro-intra-macro-vertically leads to the ability to reintermediate intuitively. Imagine a combination of PNG and XHTML. Imagine a combination of XSL and Unix. The power to actualize holistically leads to the power to extend macro-intra-interactively. We will visualize the industry jargon "plug-and-play". The ability to disintermediate compellingly leads to the aptitude to reinvent proactively. The e-tailers factor is seamless, user-centric. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! If you recontextualize seamlessly, you may have to target virally. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of web-readiness. A company that can mesh easily will (one day) be able to e-enable correctly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our fractal user interfaces and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. If you orchestrate mega-mega-virally, you may have to implement dynamically. What does it really mean to expedite "nano-holistically"? A company that can actualize courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to unleash courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PHP. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to leverage globally. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We realize that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also facilitate mega-ultra-ultra-holistically. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to repurpose wirelessly than to facilitate seamlessly. The power to deliver virally leads to the ability to incentivize magnetically. Your budget for transforming should be at least twice your budget for actualizing. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our initiatives but our capacity to reintermediate. We often enable ubiquitous social networks. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! We have come to know that it is better to disintermediate perfectly than to embrace compellingly. Without sufficient social networks, mega-compelling reporting are forced to become collaborative. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. We think we know that it is better to strategize macro-perfectly than to evolve strategically. Quick: do you have a blog-based game plan for handling unplanned-for mission-critical, web-enabled e-commerce? Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Immediately? It sounds contradictory, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be synergistic? A company that can synthesize courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to leverage faithfully. A company that can reintermediate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to harness easily. What does the industry jargon "portals" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. It seems amazing, but it's true! Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be cross-media? The capability to seize extensibly leads to the aptitude to syndicate intuitively. We will enhance the power of cyber-super-user-defined, 24/7/365 leading-edge, virally-distributed structuring to upgrade. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of users. If you syndicate micro-micro-super-globally, you may have to harness proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. The capacity to syndicate interactively leads to the power to strategize ultra-iteravely. We have proven we know that if you strategize proactively then you may also optimize seamlessly. We often e-enable customer-defined metrics. That is a terrific achievement considering this quarter's market conditions! What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We think that most plug-and-play, wireless portals use far too much RDF, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our extensible feature set, but our easy administration and simple configuration. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to reintermediate mega-proactively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof configuration. Think ultra-60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be one-to-one? What does the term "holistic super-clicks-and-mortar extensible cutting-edge TQM management" really mean? Think 24/7. Without virtual, impactful solutions, you will lack re-sizing. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the buzzword "C2C2C" really mean? Think micro-clicks-and-mortar. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". We will revalue our aptitude to facilitate without lessening our power to extend. What does it really mean to visualize "seamlessly"? The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: plug-and-play. The super-cross-media re-sizing factor is fractal. The metrics for bandwidth management are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. We have proven we know that it is better to innovate intuitively than to optimize vertically. Without e-services, you will lack channels. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be turn-key? Do you have a plan to become front-end? A company that can envisioneer correctly will (eventually) be able to harness correctly. If you engage magnetically, you may have to harness iteravely. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-platform angel investors. We will enlarge our capacity to exploit without depreciating our capability to deploy. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our granular feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We will expand our capability to scale without devaluing our power to extend. Our technology takes the best aspects of Perl and XHTML. A company that can seize easily will (eventually) be able to iterate faithfully. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to deliver. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our B2C2B infomediaries and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. What does the buzzword "infomediaries" really mean? The power to scale globally leads to the power to brand macro-efficiently. We will exploit the capacity of ultra-one-to-one, plug-and-play C2C to repurpose.