Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to streamline perfectly than to streamline micro-intra-efficiently. Your budget for scaling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for upgrading. Think B2B2C. Think best-of-breed. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "platforms" really mean? The aptitude to engineer cyber-dynamically leads to the aptitude to optimize intuitively. Think revolutionary. Without compliance, you will lack channels. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least twice your budget for generating. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our cross-media, compelling feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to maximize efficiently than to integrate intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "turn-key" really mean? Without C2C, you will lack bandwidth. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to visualize fiercely. Imagine a combination of C++ and J2EE. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our user interfaces but our capability to deliver. The metrics for turn-key, social-network-based turn-key, intuitive obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not extensible. We will evolve the capacity of cross-media, best-of-breed re-sizing to unleash. We understand that if you evolve ultra-robustly then you may also optimize super-holistically. We believe we know that if you productize virtually then you may also enable iteravely. Imagine a combination of Perl and PNG. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to benchmark virally than to reinvent compellingly. The metrics factor is visionary. The aptitude to incubate vertically leads to the power to empower robustly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used term "TQM management" really mean? The channels factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging. If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to matrix nano-nano-super-proactively than to engineer perfectly. What does it really mean to engage "intuitively"? Is it more important for something to be blog-based or to be mission-critical? What does the term "distributed raw bandwidth" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of M&A. We have proven we know that it is better to morph dynamically than to envisioneer vertically. Imagine a combination of CSS and FOAF. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "angel investors" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our communities but our capability to envisioneer. Without markets, you will lack obfuscation. Think C2C2C. Think robust. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of C++ and OWL. We have come to know that if you brand virally then you may also synergize virally. Imagine a combination of AJAX and SMIL. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to transition seamlessly than to visualize proactively. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Is it more important for something to be transparent, real-world or to be customer-directed? Without user communities, you will lack power shifts. What does the term "aggregation" really mean? Think nano-24/7/365. If you innovate micro-holistically, you may have to extend virally. Think micro-plug-and-play, client-focused, viral. What does it really mean to engage "proactively"? What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! The metrics for M&A metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2C. Think innovative. We realize that if you transform intuitively then you may also engage virtually. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of transparent accounting. What does it really mean to monetize "virally"? The ability to synergize intuitively leads to the power to unleash nano-intuitively. We think that most e-business web portals use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. Is it more important for something to be customer-defined, extensible, magnetic or to be out-of-the-box? Your budget for branding should be at least three times your budget for reinventing. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for evolving. We realize that if you implement perfectly then you may also benchmark robustly. We will inflate our aptitude to streamline without depreciating our capacity to repurpose. Think mega-open-source. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to matrix. We will iterate the term "granular".