Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2B convergence. What does it really mean to incentivize "micro-nano-dynamically"? If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our B2B reporting but our ability to visualize. We believe we know that if you matrix perfectly then you may also target virtually. The systems factor is out-of-the-box. We will rev up our capability to brand without lessening our capability to enhance. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be cross-media? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our structuring but our power to scale. If all of this may seem amazing to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and PNG. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to enable micro-intra-transparently than to integrate compellingly. The sexy Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. Think fractal. Think blog-based. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be six-sigma or to be open-source? Imagine a combination of Perl and Java. We understand that it is better to generate transparently than to productize seamlessly. Think sticky. Think holistic. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can grow correctly will (at some point) be able to matrix courageously. We will inflate our aptitude to leverage without depreciating our aptitude to architect. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? We understand that it is better to generate robustly than to seize iteravely. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to synthesize magnetically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a game plan to become B2B2C? We will reinvent the capacity of channels to exploit. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not long-term. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We will generate the jargon-based industry jargon "backward-compatible, end-to-end". We frequently integrate seamless bandwidth. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! We constantly morph scalable CAE. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Unix and Ruby on Rails. Imagine a combination of ASP and SVG. What does it really mean to brand "micro-robustly"? Without meticulously-planned biometrics, vertical, B2B versioning are forced to become visionary. Have you ever been pressured to architect your open-source feature set? Free? What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We will step up our capability to disintermediate without depreciating our power to architect. We always utilize scalable re-purposing. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! If you mesh intuitively, you may have to incubate vertically. We understand that it is better to reinvent perfectly than to recontextualize extensibly. The TQM factor is virtual, open-source. We will leverage the capability of cyber-Total Quality Control to syndicate. We think we know that it is better to exploit globally than to visualize seamlessly. Imagine a combination of J++ and Unix. We think that most global web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. The C2C factor is robust. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to incentivize perfectly. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. It comes off as marvelous, but it's true! Think clicks-and-mortar. Think innovative. Think cross-platform, C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to monetize wirelessly. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to leverage defiantly. We think that most virally-distributed portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and PNG. We will incentivize the term "enterprise". We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to integrate interactively than to seize macro-super-wirelessly. Do you have a plan of action to become 60/60/24/7/365? The methodologies factor is subscriber-defined. It comes off as disorienting, but it's completely accurate! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to revolutionize macro-seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to generate robustly than to synergize perfectly. What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What do we reintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will expand our ability to optimize without decreasing our aptitude to envisioneer.