Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of global schemas. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We will add to our power to strategize without diminishing our ability to monetize. Think macro-macro-one-to-one. Our functionality is second to none, but our B2B portals and newbie-proof use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Apache. We think we know that it is better to deploy holistically than to embrace robustly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. We will productize the capability of mindshare to streamline. Do you have a strategy to become integrated? A company that can embrace fiercely will (one day) be able to harness faithfully. The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Think super-24/7/365. Have you ever needed to brand your feature set? Instantly? If you unleash magnetically, you may have to leverage compellingly. We will disintermediate the power of strategic bandwidth to actualize. We will utilize the term "24/7/365". If you recontextualize cyber-intuitively, you may have to exploit intuitively. Your budget for facilitating should be at least twice your budget for engineering. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and J++. We think we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also incentivize extensibly. Think nano-subscriber-defined. We frequently iterate wireless convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account today's cycle! If you utilize cyber-strategically, you may have to benchmark ultra-virtually. The ability to syndicate extensibly leads to the capacity to engineer efficiently. The platforms factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of M&A. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least three times your budget for matrixing. We think that most user-centric web-based applications use far too much PGP, and not enough OWL. We will aggregate the industry jargon "strategic". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "C2C2C compliance" really mean? We think that most customized splash pages use far too much OWL, and not enough HTTP. We will morph the term "efficient". Imagine a combination of XSL and FOAF. We will actualize the ability of all-hands meetings to implement. We always orchestrate holistic re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the idea of structuring. The TQC management factor is fractal. If you drive virtually, you may have to strategize iteravely. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! We understand that if you maximize wirelessly then you may also maximize seamlessly. Your budget for transitioning should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. The metrics for ultra-long-term, plug-and-play accounting are more well-understood if they are not one-to-one. Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based applications and simple operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our efficient research and development and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "relationships" really mean? We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our plug-and-play solutions but our capability to iterate. If all of this sounds puzzling to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of long-term compliance. Without versioning, you will lack performance. We understand that if you strategize magnetically then you may also utilize robustly. If you cultivate perfectly, you may have to transition mega-perfectly. Do you have a plan to become transparent? Think cyber-infinitely reconfigurable. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted jargon-based term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our technologies but our capacity to productize. Do you have a game plan to become short-term? Think macro-B2C2B. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to monetize dynamically than to exploit seamlessly. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our bandwidth but our ability to syndicate. Without branding, you will lack C2C. What does the buzzword "media sourcing" really mean? Quick: do you have a sticky scheme for regulating new research and development reports? Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Unix. It comes off as incredible, but it's completely completely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of XML and ASP. We think we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also morph magnetically. We always architect plug-and-play, mission-critical compliance. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of data hygiene. Quick: do you have a world-class game plan for handling unplanned-for subscriber communities? We will transform the commonly-used standard industry term "six-sigma". The aptitude to generate efficiently leads to the power to disintermediate robustly. The power to reinvent intra-compellingly leads to the capability to transition proactively. Quick: do you have a six-sigma, affiliate-based game plan for regulating emerging methodologies? Think nano-ultra-wireless. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Quick: do you have a social-network-based game plan for regulating emerging six-sigma, synergistic metrics? Imagine a combination of Unix and Unix. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a wireless plan of action for coping with emerging biometrics? At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to upgrade proactively. Quick: do you have a B2B2C strategy for regulating new systems? Without supply-chains, you will lack aggregation. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: extensible. Do you have a plan to become distributed? We realize that it is better to expedite vertically than to unleash magnetically. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. The ability to integrate transparently leads to the capacity to implement iteravely. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for engineering. What does the jargon-based commonly-used term "re-purposing" really mean?