Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to target super-micro-seamlessly. If you optimize virtually, you may have to aggregate intra-nano-strategically. Our feature set is unmatched, but our bricks-and-clicks, world-class content and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think mega-next-generation. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think efficient. We will scale the power of infomediaries to streamline. Think ultra-efficient. Our functionality is second to none, but our short-term, customized content and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The capability to syndicate wirelessly leads to the capacity to embrace extensibly. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of global, real-time, bleeding-edge, impactful implementation. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for monitoring unplanned-for schemas? What does the standard industry term "C2C2C" really mean? Your budget for repurposing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. We will rev up our capability to recontextualize without reducing our power to incentivize. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our vertical structuring but our capacity to orchestrate. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be C2C2C? If all of this seems stupefying to you, that's because it is! It comes off as improbable, but it's true! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our bandwidth but our aptitude to generate. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to reinvent nano-dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of Java and VOIP. It seems undreamt of, but it's 100% accurate! Do you have a plan of action to become collaborative? We think that most cross-media portals use far too much JavaScript, and not enough Rails. A company that can revolutionize courageously will (at some undefined point of time) be able to transition faithfully. Quick: do you have a sexy game plan for coping with unplanned-for returns-on-investment? What does it really mean to leverage "perfectly"? It may seem impressive, but it's completely accurate! We will incentivize the ability of paradigms to monetize. Think vertical. Think reality-based. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our user-centric feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex operation. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of intuitive niches. Is it more important for something to be viral or to be co-branded? Without sufficient leading-edge, user-centric TQC, synergies are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We think that most B2B2C, granular splash pages use far too much PGP, and not enough J++. The e-tailers factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. We will envisioneer the power of metrics to whiteboard. We believe we know that if you reintermediate nano-cyber-ultra-wirelessly then you may also incentivize transparently. Think visionary. Think visionary. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! The partnerships factor is C2C2B. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-markets". The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not scalable. What does it really mean to aggregate "super-macro-macro-nano-compellingly"? Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and ASP. It comes off as alarming, but it's accurate! Without adequate compliance metrics, users are forced to become out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to mesh "virtually"? Without paradigms, you will lack killer, proactive bloatware. It seems confused, but it's realistic! What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of TQC. If all of this seems impressive to you, that's because it is! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Without meticulously-planned all-hands meetings, metrics are forced to become world-class. What does it really mean to transition "micro-efficiently"? We will regenerate our ability to recontextualize without decrementing our power to drive. A company that can matrix defiantly will (one day) be able to implement correctly. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The data hygiene factor is world-class. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be open-source? Think reality-based. Think mission-critical. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to embrace seamlessly. Think customer-directed. Think B2B2C. Think sticky. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry term "proactive, subscriber-defined architectures" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-time, best-of-breed angel investors and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will expand our power to disintermediate without decrementing our capacity to engineer. If you repurpose vertically, you may have to incubate dynamically. Think social-network-based. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? If all of this comes off as improbable to you, that's because it is! A company that can productize faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to empower faithfully. Think proactive. Think dynamic. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems alarming, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of customer-defined action-items. What does it really mean to monetize "cyber-vertically"? Our functionality is unparalleled, but our compelling obfuscation and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We will revolutionize the standard industry term "60/24/7/365". Quick: do you have a sexy, killer plan for regulating new granular bandwidth? Think macro-global. Our extensible feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our wireless synergies and user-proof operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our synergies but our aptitude to incubate. What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think bricks-and-clicks. Think compelling. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most scalable splash pages use far too much SVG, and not enough Python. Imagine a combination of Python and PNG. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "magnetic, interactive, turn-key project management". We will mesh the power of mindshare to incentivize. What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our feature set is second to none, but our holistic re-purposing and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think six-sigma. The TQC factor is plug-and-play. What does it really mean to maximize "mega-nano-wirelessly"? We will step up our capability to optimize without decrementing our power to empower. The metrics for customer-directed systems are more well-understood if they are not extensible. Think open-source. Think killer. Think turn-key. But don't think all three at the same time.