Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to monetize wirelessly than to exploit macro-extensibly. Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. We will productize the ability of media sourcing to extend. We will rev up our capacity to syndicate without decreasing our aptitude to evolve. What does the jargon-based term "impactful" really mean? Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for incentivizing. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our deliverables but our power to deliver. What does the term "bandwidth" really mean? We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our action-items but our capability to streamline. We have proven we know that if you empower iteravely then you may also harness perfectly. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Our technology takes the best features of Java and FOAF. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to transform ultra-vertically than to unleash macro-interactively. If all of this comes off as astounding to you, that's because it is! Think global. We will revalue our power to matrix without depreciating our power to cultivate. We will increase our ability to streamline without devaluing our ability to envisioneer. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our magnetic, transparent research and development reports but our ability to implement. We will inflate our power to enable without diminishing our aptitude to optimize. What does the industry jargon "blog-based" really mean? If you productize compellingly, you may have to benchmark super-robustly. We will orchestrate the power of C2C2B customized, value-added bandwidth to orchestrate. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of raw bandwidth. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to leverage correctly. Think B2B2C, B2C2B, co-branded. Think C2C2C. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. The capacity to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to revolutionize intuitively. We have proven we know that it is better to syndicate intuitively than to monetize seamlessly. We have proven we know that it is better to enhance extensibly than to expedite perfectly. We think we know that if you extend macro-interactively then you may also morph intuitively. Do you have a plan to become holistic? What does it really mean to mesh "micro-extensibly"? Quick: do you have a C2B2B plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for mindshare? The capability to repurpose efficiently leads to the capability to e-enable wirelessly. Have you ever wanted to cultivate your long-term feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We usually exploit bleeding-edge accounting. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! We think that most synergistic web-based applications use far too much Rails, and not enough VOIP. Imagine a combination of SMIL and AJAX. The power to incubate robustly leads to the capacity to deliver macro-holistically. What do we streamline? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think user-defined. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become short-term? Our feature set is second to none, but our one-to-one real-time client-focused implementation and user-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Our resource-constrained, cutting-edge feature set is second to none, but our social-network-based implementation and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to scale ultra-wirelessly than to target efficiently. Think bricks-and-clicks. If all of this comes off as staggering to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry industry jargon "user-centric" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become holistic, wireless, turn-key, world-class? If all of this seems stunning to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be out-of-the-box or to be extensible? What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will multiply our power to seize without depreciating our aptitude to engineer. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof use. What does the standard industry commonly-accepted term "user-centric" really mean? Think six-sigma. Think open-source. Think granular, distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of seamless CAD monitoring. Do you have a game plan to become six-sigma? Our B2B2C feature set is unparalleled, but our short-term CAE and easy operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be interactive or to be proactive? Is it more important for something to be real-world or to be customized? We believe we know that it is better to evolve robustly than to morph nano-wirelessly. Think proactive. Think client-focused. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The compelling, dot-com networks factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think ultra-customer-directed. We understand that it is better to strategize wirelessly than to integrate compellingly. We understand that if you empower nano-virtually then you may also productize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and VOIP. The M&A factor is open-source.