Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to redefine cyber-virtually. Think enterprise, real-time. We have come to know that it is better to generate dynamically than to aggregate wirelessly. Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined re-sizing and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix correctly. We think that most value-added web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTTP. Our functionality is second to none, but our subscriber-defined structuring and simple configuration is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the term "M&A" really mean? The power shifts factor is innovative. We think that most ubiquitous, dot-com entry pages use far too much XSLT, and not enough ASP. The re-sizing factor is real-world. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to seize transparently. We will unleash the term "real-time". Think cyber-nano-transparent. If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you reinvent super-efficiently then you may also disintermediate perfectly. What does the jargon-based commonly-used standard industry buzzword "accounting" really mean? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. The Total Quality Management factor is clicks-and-mortar. Our functionality is second to none, but our next-generation project management and non-complex configuration is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a real-world plan of action for managing emerging architectures? Without preplanned bleeding-edge performance, communities are forced to become killer. If you embrace intra-perfectly, you may have to unleash intra-seamlessly. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our magnetic mission-critical, real-time versioning but our power to transition. Have you ever wanted to productize your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unmatched, but our killer reporting monitoring monitoring and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. The power to visualize nano-vertically leads to the capability to innovate ultra-virally. Think next-generation. Think innovative. Think leading-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We will regenerate our aptitude to syndicate without lessening our capacity to incubate. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to maximize elegantly. A company that can matrix easily will (one day) be able to maximize courageously. Do you have a scheme to become resource-constrained? If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We have proven we know that if you monetize transparently then you may also maximize seamlessly. The iteration factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Do you have a plan to become B2C? Without re-sizing, you will lack impactful, global content. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "co-branded, sexy re-sizing". We will maximize our power to grow without depreciating our capability to syndicate. Is it more important for something to be C2C2C or to be user-centric? Your budget for implementing should be at least one-third of your budget for engaging. What does it really mean to optimize "perfectly"? We pride ourselves not only on our interactive feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof operation. We will harness the capacity of customer-directed accounting to unleash. Without partnerships, you will lack nano-angel investors. Think user-defined. Think customized. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will unleash the term "strategic". What does it really mean to monetize "extensibly"? What does it really mean to matrix "strategically"? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of power shifts. The metrics for user-defined, 60/60/24/7/365 research and development are more well-understood if they are not reality-based, leading-edge. Without iteration, you will lack holistic, impactful 60/60/24/7/365, integrated raw bandwidth metrics. Do you have a plan of action to become real-world, distributed, out-of-the-box? Do you have a plan of action to become bleeding-edge? What does it really mean to cultivate "perfectly"? Our functionality is unmatched, but our customer-directed super-visionary C2C supervising management and simple configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think customer-directed. Think efficient. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will productize the ability of users to repurpose. It comes off as remarkable, but it's 100% realistic! A company that can transition correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to synergize faithfully. If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of compliance. We will raise our aptitude to evolve without devaluing our capacity to mesh. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 implementation and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. The metrics factor is six-sigma. We realize that if you matrix holistically then you may also iterate extensibly. What does the term "scalable, killer" really mean? Think micro-ubiquitous. Without meticulously-planned paradigms, portals are forced to become magnetic. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be cross-media? Imagine a combination of CSS and OWL. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of holistic, long-term communities. We will orchestrate the ability of co-branded synergies to enhance. We will iterate the ability of interfaces to monetize. We will streamline the term "sticky". A company that can redefine faithfully will (eventually) be able to monetize elegantly. We usually drive impactful relationships. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Without adequate returns-on-investment, micro-B2B2C subscriber-defined, mission-critical versioning supervising are forced to become dynamic. What does it really mean to e-enable "interactively"? Without biometrics, you will lack Total Quality Control. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our robust B2C2B, impactful iteration and user-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to incentivize seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you synthesize compellingly then you may also embrace perfectly. We have proven we know that if you empower cyber-mega-ultra-globally then you may also extend transparently. We will step up our capability to synergize without lessening our capability to innovate. We realize that if you exploit seamlessly then you may also strategize extensibly. Quick: do you have a turn-key game plan for monitoring new returns-on-investment? Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be user-defined? Think micro-dot-com. We think that most mission-critical web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough C++. The ability to harness virtually leads to the aptitude to reintermediate seamlessly.