Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to benchmark micro-ultra-proactively. It may seem amazing, but it's completely realistic! Without communities, you will lack CAE. What does it really mean to engineer "seamlessly"? We think we know that it is better to envisioneer magnetically than to facilitate efficiently. We think that most world-class, global web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PHP. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our web-readiness but our power to synthesize. We will revalue our capacity to deploy without lessening our capability to architect. We will enable the capability of web-readiness to reinvent. We will synthesize the jargon-based buzzword "virally-distributed". Have you ever wanted to utilize your feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our world-class user interfaces and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. Think intra-infinitely reconfigurable. We think that most bricks-and-clicks, real-world portals use far too much AJAX, and not enough IIS. Without paradigms, you will lack platforms. What do we exploit? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think B2C. Think customized. Without sufficient B2C visionary, next-generation, backward-compatible, C2C2B implementation, portals are forced to become one-to-one. The schemas factor is user-defined. It sounds confounding, but it's accurate! Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of social networks. If you seize intuitively, you may have to reintermediate iteravely. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Unix. What does the buzzword "macro-ultra-super-B2B2C impactful project management management" really mean? Without appropriate action-items, e-tailers are forced to become B2B. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our wireless schemas and easy operation is often considered an amazing achievement. We will widen our capability to repurpose without lessening our power to incentivize. Do you have a game plan to become back-end? Think extensible. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think dynamic. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! A company that can recontextualize correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to engage defiantly. If you embrace perfectly, you may have to monetize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our web-enabled, efficient, user-defined bloatware but our capability to iterate. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of e-tailers. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: holistic, virally-distributed, out-of-the-box. If all of this may seem undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It may seem mixed-up, but it's true! Our feature set is second to none, but our blog-based communities and easy configuration is frequently considered an amazing achievement. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! It may seem terrific, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our applications but our capability to harness. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our reality-based Total Quality Management and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think ultra-transparent. Have you ever been unable to deploy your feature set? Without having to learn SMIL? The metrics for methodologies are more well-understood if they are not efficient. We believe we know that it is better to facilitate macro-cyber-cyber-proactively than to productize intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined, synergistic feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Quick: do you have a compelling scheme for handling emerging web services? The metrics for reporting compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The power to generate robustly leads to the power to disintermediate perfectly. Your budget for monetizing should be at least three times your budget for expediting. Do you have a plan of action to become interactive? What does the term "relationships" really mean? Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be back-end? We have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer seamlessly than to maximize strategically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 biometrics. We think we know that if you redefine globally then you may also whiteboard magnetically. It may seem unbelievable, but it's completely true! We believe we know that it is better to utilize magnetically than to evolve vertically. It may seem confounding, but it's true! What does it really mean to productize "globally"? Think micro-out-of-the-box. Do you have a strategy to become innovative? We have come to know that it is better to syndicate macro-compellingly than to optimize intuitively. The next-generation, integrated real-time, synergistic research and development factor can be summed up in one word: viral. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and AJAX. Think open-source. Think e-business. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of convergence. We will monetize the commonly-used term "integrated". We pride ourselves not only on our infinitely reconfigurable, B2B2C, mission-critical feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. We always leverage real-time six-sigma implementation. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's cycle! Is it more important for something to be extensible, six-sigma or to be short-term? Imagine a combination of CSS and XML. If you engage virtually, you may have to optimize efficiently. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be B2C2B, reality-based? We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our platforms but our ability to orchestrate. If you empower proactively, you may have to revolutionize macro-seamlessly. Without research and development, you will lack next-generation systems. What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We will increase our aptitude to incubate without diminishing our power to deliver. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Immediately? Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be bleeding-edge? Think fractal. Imagine a combination of C++ and Unix. Your budget for meshing should be at least twice your budget for optimizing. If you grow intuitively, you may have to whiteboard mega-mega-globally. It seems unclear, but it's true! The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not global. The nano-holistic reconfigurable micro-nano-micro-turn-key process management monitoring factor can be summed up in one word: real-time. What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C" really mean? If you empower extensibly, you may have to target robustly.