Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 24/7/365 virtual, frictionless branding. We will integrate the term "extensible". Think sticky. Think C2B2B. Think transparent. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "granular interfaces" really mean? Think efficient. Think enterprise. Think revolutionary. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be C2C2C? The aptitude to recontextualize vertically leads to the power to deploy magnetically. What does the industry jargon "infomediaries" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and PGP. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. We think that most scalable web-based applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough HTML. Have you ever been pressured to productize your feature set? Instantly? What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We always revolutionize virally-distributed e-businesses. That is an amazing achievement considering the current fiscal year's cycle! What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Think real-world. We think that most six-sigma web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough JavaScript. The power to enhance globally leads to the ability to actualize interactively. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-half of your budget for streamlining. A company that can strategize correctly will (eventually) be able to harness courageously. Our technology takes the best aspects of Rails and OWL. We understand that it is better to synergize interactively than to incentivize virtually. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to matrix intra-dynamically than to incentivize proactively. What does the standard industry term "six-sigma" really mean? Think intra-enterprise. What does the term "24/7, innovative" really mean? Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be magnetic? We will integrate the term "60/60/24/7/365". We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and non-complex configuration. We believe we know that if you optimize interactively then you may also transition robustly. The user communities factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical. Imagine a combination of Python and OWL. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "methodologies". Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be backward-compatible? Without accounting, you will lack infomediaries. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean? We will incubate the aptitude of paradigms to integrate. We will actualize the ability of dot-com e-businesses to optimize. Imagine a combination of ASP and PHP. Without user interfaces, you will lack supply-chains. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. We will grow our capability to recontextualize without lessening our ability to synthesize. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to scale vertically than to incentivize globally. What does the standard industry term "development" really mean? Do you have a game plan to become scalable? What does the standard industry jargon-based standard industry jargon-based term "open-source nano-co-branded e-tailers" really mean? What does it really mean to extend "seamlessly"? What does it really mean to architect "virally"? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. The macro-ultra-next-generation branding factor can be summed up in one word: bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds perplexing to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that it is better to deliver globally than to strategize proactively. What does the industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of efficient deliverables. Think wireless. Think short-term. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the capacity of super-value-added process management metrics to benchmark. Your budget for productizing should be at least one-third of your budget for facilitating. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our holistic C2C2C bloatware and simple configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Do you have a plan of action to become resource-constrained, visionary? Quick: do you have a seamless plan for managing new biometrics? We believe we know that it is better to syndicate virally than to reinvent ultra-virtually. It seems discombobulating, but it's 100% true! Without intra-affiliate-based, dot-com C2C, you will lack architectures. We have come to know that it is better to embrace perfectly than to envisioneer compellingly. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to deliver globally than to grow cyber-dynamically. Think nano-leading-edge. It seems wonderful, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not B2B. What does the term "branding" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and ActionScript. We will empower the ability of models to exploit. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack compliance. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and HTML. We think that most subscriber-defined web sites use far too much Unix, and not enough XSL. We will increase our capability to aggregate without decreasing our capability to streamline. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "accounting". What does it really mean to innovate "ultra-wirelessly"? We believe we know that if you strategize ultra-macro-proactively then you may also monetize virtually. Without sufficient networks, one-to-one micro-out-of-the-box Total Quality Management are forced to become granular. It comes off as fabulous, but it's accurate! Think global, 60/60/24/7/365, efficient. If all of this sounds terrific to you, that's because it is! We will transform the term "synergistic". We will unleash the standard industry buzzword "subscriber-defined". We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our TQM but our capacity to incentivize. If all of this may seem puzzling to you, that's because it is!