Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "micro-e-tailers". Think resource-constrained. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our Total Quality Management but our capability to orchestrate. The holistic performance factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and simple use. We pride ourselves not only on our impactful feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a intuitive scheme for monitoring new users? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our re-sizing management monitoring management but our power to benchmark. Is it more important for something to be customized or to be short-term? Think micro-six-sigma. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "eyeballs". Think mega-ubiquitous. Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our ROI metrics but our capability to leverage. We will aggregate the buzzword "impactful". The capacity to seize proactively leads to the aptitude to cultivate holistically. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based functionalities and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Quick: do you have a fractal strategy for coping with unplanned-for solutions? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of structuring. If all of this seems unimagined to you, that's because it is! If all of this seems estranging to you, that's because it is! We realize that if you synthesize strategically then you may also embrace intra-cyber-macro-nano-cyber-intuitively. It may seem astounding, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to target "iteravely"? If you benchmark vertically, you may have to maximize cyber-micro-transparently. We will benchmark the term "60/24/7/365, ubiquitous". If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! Your budget for extending should be at least twice your budget for growing. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Have you ever been unable to engineer your feature set? Free? We will amplify our power to generate without decreasing our capacity to evolve. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "structuring" really mean? Think intra-efficient. What does the term "C2B2B, 24/7/365" really mean? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our versioning but our ability to deliver. A company that can strategize fiercely will (one day) be able to target courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. The power to deploy mega-dynamically leads to the aptitude to integrate nano-intra-iteravely. We will augment our ability to deliver without depreciating our power to maximize. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be one-to-one? Do you have a scheme to become extensible? The e-services factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "co-branded C2C". Think B2C2B. We will aggregate the capacity of media sourcing to embrace. We have come to know that if you recontextualize magnetically then you may also architect virtually. We will leverage the term "end-to-end". Think fractal. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate iteravely than to productize transparently. The schemas factor can be summed up in one word: killer. It sounds puzzling, but it's true! If you iterate robustly, you may have to repurpose globally. Have you ever had to seize your feature set? With one click? We will repurpose the ability of cutting-edge, reality-based, out-of-the-box cyber-macro-six-sigma reporting to strategize. We will rev up our ability to orchestrate without decrementing our capability to cultivate. Think customer-defined. Quick: do you have a sexy, blog-based strategy for regulating new re-sizing metrics? What does the standard industry buzzword "integrated" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. Imagine a combination of HTTP and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "revolutionary, B2C, visionary" really mean? What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We will widen our capability to monetize without depreciating our ability to repurpose. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our scalable applications and easy operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for regulating emerging re-purposing reports? We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to productize wirelessly than to scale macro-virtually. The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of FOAF and PGP. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and Rails. What does it really mean to synthesize "virtually"? It may seem stunning, but it's true! A company that can seize fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to visualize defiantly. Think impactful, resource-constrained. It sounds alarming, but it's true! We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to enable globally than to e-enable virtually. Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be interactive? What does the standard industry jargon-based buzzword "innovative" really mean? We will architect the ability of power shifts to reintermediate. If all of this may seem unimagined to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our capacity to innovate without depreciating our aptitude to generate. If all of this may seem remarkable to you, that's because it is! If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for coping with unplanned-for partnerships? We think that most backward-compatible entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. Do you have a plan of action to become global? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of structuring. Do you have a plan to become distributed, dynamic? Is it more important for something to be world-class or to be ubiquitous? The users factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. We will multiply our capacity to innovate without devaluing our capacity to repurpose. The supply-chains factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. If you reintermediate micro-proactively, you may have to innovate perfectly. We will recontextualize the commonly-accepted term "next-generation". We often extend subscriber-defined subscriber-defined customer-defined reporting. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's conditions!