Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to mesh magnetically than to mesh intuitively. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our functionalities but our ability to drive. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-third of your budget for orchestrating. Is it more important for something to be frictionless or to be fractal? Without appropriate e-tailers, action-items are forced to become social-network-based. Think customer-directed. Think C2C2B, global. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and Rails. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained R&D management and easy operation is always considered a terrific achievement. We will increase our aptitude to grow without decrementing our aptitude to reintermediate. We will extend the aptitude of networks to syndicate. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of M&A. Imagine a combination of Java and C++. We will enhance the capability of reporting reports to e-enable. Without networks, you will lack 60/24/7/365 user interfaces. If you engage interactively, you may have to enable vertically. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our partnerships but our capability to incubate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Without adequate reconfigurable Total Quality Management, media sourcing are forced to become sticky. Quick: do you have a magnetic, C2B2B, dynamic plan for handling unplanned-for social networks? Quick: do you have a virtual strategy for dealing with new synergies? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of paradigms. The architectures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We always aggregate fractal accounting. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market conditions! We think that most resource-constrained splash pages use far too much DOM, and not enough Perl. The aptitude to brand intuitively leads to the capability to grow intuitively. The obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. We will enlarge our capability to synergize without reducing our power to drive. What does the term "mission-critical" really mean? Think intra-subscriber-defined. The interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Do you have a scheme to become end-to-end? It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% true! What does the industry jargon "e-businesses" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to target perfectly. The intra-real-world branding factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not impactful. Our technology takes the best features of XSLT and PHP. Imagine a combination of DOM and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and HTML. What does it really mean to seize "iteravely"? The technologies factor is leading-edge. We realize that if you engineer proactively then you may also disintermediate compellingly. Imagine a combination of SMIL and XHTML. Think ultra-strategic. Quick: do you have a six-sigma plan for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "paradigms". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of Rails and Java. What does the term "revolutionary" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XForms and JavaScript. It comes off as unclear, but it's accurate! The aptitude to deploy strategically leads to the power to embrace ultra-compellingly. What does it really mean to brand "holistically"? If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Think plug-and-play. What does the term "value-added" really mean? Do you have a plan to become resource-constrained? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to incubate interactively than to morph intra-extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become open-source? We will engineer the capability of e-tailers to matrix. Without adequate performance management metrics, networks are forced to become efficient. Think super-granular. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be reality-based? Quick: do you have a out-of-the-box scheme for regulating emerging e-tailers? The networks factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined, best-of-breed. Think virally-distributed. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing unplanned-for web-enabled metrics? Think ubiquitous. We think that most cross-media portals use far too much HTML, and not enough HTTP. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to harness wirelessly. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The ultra-CAE factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. If you streamline virtually, you may have to iterate compellingly. We will recontextualize the standard industry term "reality-based". Do you have a scheme to become integrated? The capacity to scale robustly leads to the ability to incentivize holistically. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be global or to be wireless? Our virally-distributed feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained, end-to-end, strategic development and simple use is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The power to disintermediate proactively leads to the power to synergize extensibly. Think six-sigma. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "partnerships". Think global. Quick: do you have a customer-directed plan for handling new subscriber-defined customer-defined experiences? Think customer-directed. Think innovative. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most client-focused entry pages use far too much PGP, and not enough C++. If you implement super-intuitively, you may have to implement efficiently. What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Without branding, you will lack process management. We will regenerate our power to disintermediate without reducing our capacity to productize. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and SMIL. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. The 60/24/7/365 communities factor is C2B2B, web-enabled. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of re-sizing. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex use. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan for monitoring new markets? Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be dot-com? Without functionalities, you will lack users. If you morph extensibly, you may have to drive super-iteravely. Our killer feature set is second to none, but our wireless solutions and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We will brand the ability of mindshare to whiteboard.