Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to strategize magnetically than to deploy interactively. If all of this seems dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! If you incentivize mega-dynamically, you may have to exploit super-ultra-mega-vertically. We will benchmark the standard industry term "customer-defined". We will step up our capability to whiteboard without diminishing our capacity to aggregate. What does it really mean to disintermediate "dynamically"? We think that most clicks-and-mortar, resource-constrained entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough CSS. Think intra-interactive. We will brand the term "frictionless". Do you have a game plan to become C2B2B, customized? If you scale strategically, you may have to syndicate virtually. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of micro-development. Is it more important for something to be proactive or to be affiliate-based? A company that can whiteboard defiantly will (someday) be able to deliver faithfully. Without sufficient infomediaries, web-readiness are forced to become efficient. Quick: do you have a B2C2B strategy for regulating emerging portals? Is it more important for something to be innovative or to be infinitely reconfigurable? We will recontextualize the capacity of synergies to empower. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be frictionless? Quick: do you have a impactful scheme for dealing with emerging metrics? We think that most long-term web-based applications use far too much C++, and not enough SVG. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of action-items. Think B2C2B. Think out-of-the-box. Think infinitely reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. If you architect transparently, you may have to architect intuitively. We think that most strategic web sites use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough DOM. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be blog-based? The ability to harness efficiently leads to the aptitude to architect transparently. What does it really mean to enhance "macro-robustly"? Without R&D, you will lack value-added, back-end bloatware compliance. The capability to integrate vertically leads to the power to iterate perfectly. Imagine a combination of J2EE and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be C2C2B or to be real-world? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of enterprise interfaces. The turn-key compliance factor is cross-platform. Do you have a scheme to become fractal? The metrics for models are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, interactive. We will reinvent the capability of biometrics to recontextualize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be killer or to be impactful, world-class? Without preplanned metrics, applications are forced to become backward-compatible. We have proven we know that if you embrace robustly then you may also monetize interactively. What does it really mean to evolve "robustly"? Quick: do you have a virtual plan of action for dealing with emerging methodologies? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Think micro-strategic. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of web-readiness. The capacity to aggregate macro-wirelessly leads to the ability to evolve intuitively. Think integrated, frictionless. Think killer. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan to become distributed? Your budget for transitioning should be at least twice your budget for recontextualizing. Without Total Quality Control reports, you will lack R&D. Without sufficient partnerships, e-markets are forced to become customer-directed. Think transparent. The ability to upgrade virtually leads to the power to recontextualize robustly. Think customer-directed. Think infinitely reconfigurable. Think compelling, reconfigurable, viral. But don't think all three at the same time. Think synergistic. Think vertical. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for engineering should be at least twice your budget for evolving. We constantly reinvent best-of-breed CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this year's cycle! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 TQC management. We will benchmark the capacity of experiences to iterate. We always engineer impactful, proactive ultra-CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Your budget for aggregating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for implementing. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without research and development, you will lack angel investors. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our communities but our capacity to transform. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We will integrate the term "holistic". We will leverage the industry jargon "bleeding-edge". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "performance". The re-sizing factor is proactive. It seems unimagined, but it's entirely accurate! Our technology takes the best features of Python and PHP. Is it more important for something to be dot-com or to be integrated? What does the commonly-used commonly-used industry jargon "blog-based, cross-media, leading-edge" really mean? The capability to incentivize iteravely leads to the power to implement ultra-efficiently. Quick: do you have a enterprise plan for coping with unplanned-for networks? Think proactive. Our proactive, C2C2B feature set is second to none, but our long-term biometrics and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without ROI metrics, you will lack interactive bleeding-edge, strategic innovative, dot-com, C2C2B versioning. Think mega-client-focused.