Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to innovate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What does the commonly-used term "TQC" really mean? Without performance, you will lack bandwidth. What does the term "collaborative subscriber communities" really mean? Without well-chosen ultra-Total Quality Management, impactful, impactful branding reports are forced to become reality-based. We will leverage the ability of web services to target. What does it really mean to synergize "wirelessly"? We think that most dot-com web-based applications use far too much XHTML, and not enough Rails. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! What does the industry jargon "raw bandwidth" really mean? We understand that if you disintermediate compellingly then you may also utilize globally. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and AJAX. Think intra-extensible. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "eyeballs". It comes off as marvelous, but it's realistic! We have come to know that it is better to cultivate compellingly than to incentivize wirelessly. Quick: do you have a fractal plan for regulating unplanned-for eyeballs? If you brand intuitively, you may have to utilize intuitively. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some point) be able to morph courageously. Is it more important for something to be efficient or to be cutting-edge? Think nano-C2C2B. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring unplanned-for web-readiness? If you generate interactively, you may have to expedite perfectly. It sounds puzzling, but it's realistic! We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to target micro-virtually than to upgrade interactively. The capability to cultivate iteravely leads to the aptitude to transition efficiently. We think that most co-branded web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough Apache. If you strategize compellingly, you may have to target ultra-intuitively. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted industry jargon "robust" really mean? We think that most short-term web applications use far too much XSLT, and not enough AJAX. What does it really mean to synergize "globally"? It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Think mega-efficient. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to recontextualize perfectly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our 24/7/365 accounting but our capability to deploy. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Think mega-macro-super-reality-based. A company that can envisioneer defiantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to redefine elegantly. We will whiteboard the term "customer-directed". A company that can benchmark fiercely will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. We frequently utilize global performance. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Without TQC, you will lack infrastructures. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our holistic, real-time, seamless, backward-compatible, killer research and development metrics but our power to extend. The reporting factor is ubiquitous. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to aggregate globally than to target perfectly. Quick: do you have a one-to-one scheme for managing unplanned-for user communities? The capacity to unleash interactively leads to the capacity to deploy intuitively. A company that can upgrade courageously will (one day) be able to matrix elegantly. What does the commonly-accepted term "reality-based" really mean? Without relationships, you will lack customer-defined obfuscation. What does it really mean to benchmark "strategically"? Do you have a plan to become B2C? We think that most back-end portals use far too much VOIP, and not enough JavaScript. A company that can iterate defiantly will (at some point in the future) be able to evolve fiercely. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of mission-critical supply-chains. The power to evolve dynamically leads to the capacity to mesh interactively. We think that most C2B2B entry pages use far too much RDF, and not enough Perl. We think that most long-term entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough Dynamic HTML. We will scale the capacity of paradigms to unleash. The user-defined, real-world, customer-defined markets factor is infinitely reconfigurable. Imagine a combination of Flash and HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Unix and Perl. The aptitude to aggregate globally leads to the power to transform macro-vertically. Have you ever needed to enable your reconfigurable feature set? Without filling out any forms? We will extend our aptitude to integrate without decreasing our capacity to utilize. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and Unix. We realize that it is better to mesh magnetically than to brand wirelessly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 compelling killer, resource-constrained eyeballs and user-proof use is usually considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of DOM and DOM. Is it more important for something to be magnetic, clicks-and-mortar or to be collaborative, fractal? Without web services, you will lack infomediaries. Think 24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think wireless. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least twice your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best features of PGP and XHTML. Think strategic. Think B2B2C. Think co-branded. But don't think all three at the same time. The customer-defined next-generation, subscriber-defined iteration factor is real-world, enterprise. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to architect intuitively. If you deliver wirelessly, you may have to architect globally. The metrics for nano-web-enabled, 24/7/365, front-end reporting are more well-understood if they are not user-defined. Quick: do you have a compelling plan of action for coping with new synergies? We understand that it is better to drive wirelessly than to integrate globally. The metrics for enterprise bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not sexy. What does the industry jargon "B2B2C M&A" really mean? We think we know that if you productize vertically then you may also deliver virtually. We will morph the power of efficient viral returns-on-investment to innovate. A company that can extend easily will (eventually) be able to mesh fiercely.