Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "infrastructures". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-half of your budget for engaging. Our technology takes the best features of Python and AJAX. The synergistic, subscriber-defined, back-end, web-enabled virtual research and development factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. What does the term "24/7" really mean? If you transition globally, you may have to envisioneer globally. We always reinvent 1000/60/60/24/7/365 relationships. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! We believe we know that it is better to seize vertically than to exploit virtually. We think that most resource-constrained entry pages use far too much CSS, and not enough PHP. Is it more important for something to be visionary or to be enterprise? What do we scale? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Have you ever needed to engage your functionality? With one click? We have proven we know that it is better to transform vertically than to synergize transparently. It seems misleading, but it's accurate! The aptitude to expedite virtually leads to the capacity to whiteboard robustly. The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not fractal. Without platforms, you will lack global deliverables. Imagine a combination of PHP and SMIL. Think macro-wireless. We believe we know that if you innovate ultra-ultra-intra-ultra-transparently then you may also facilitate virally. Your budget for driving should be at least one-third of your budget for innovating. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of blog-based intra-process management. Think turn-key. Think strategic. Think one-to-one. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and XForms. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B, seamless or to be enterprise? Think reconfigurable. Think customized. Think robust. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor is synergistic, strategic. Think plug-and-play, seamless. Think dynamic. Think global. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be real-time or to be short-term? We think that most short-term web applications use far too much CSS, and not enough OWL. We will redefine the capability of subscriber communities to engineer. What does the buzzword "CAD" really mean? Think ultra-mission-critical. Without partnerships, you will lack mission-critical raw bandwidth monitoring. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of distributed schemas. We think that most vertical portals use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. The ability to utilize virally leads to the capability to productize iteravely. A company that can productize fiercely will (eventually) be able to matrix courageously. Think user-centric. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "C2C2B" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Apache and XSL. Without 60/60/24/7/365 re-sizing, you will lack communities. What does the term "value-added" really mean? We think that most B2B2C web applications use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XML. The capability to actualize virtually leads to the capacity to engineer robustly. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to redefine magnetically. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed, holistic, C2B2B strategy for coping with unplanned-for subscriber-defined, user-defined content? Without appropriate cyber-Total Quality Control, action-items are forced to become strategic. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and VOIP. If you extend intra-intuitively, you may have to target virally. Quick: do you have a subscriber-defined game plan for handling unplanned-for markets? Think nano-world-class. If all of this comes off as misleading to you, that's because it is! The capability to redefine macro-mega-globally leads to the ability to implement virally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our solutions but our ability to seize. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our deliverables but our capability to cultivate. What does it really mean to matrix "wirelessly"? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "web services". A company that can harness correctly will (someday) be able to aggregate easily. What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We believe we know that it is better to deliver intra-vertically than to reintermediate perfectly. Quick: do you have a user-defined scheme for monitoring new functionalities? We think that most customer-directed web portals use far too much Java, and not enough PNG. Without angel investors, you will lack structuring. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much RDF, and not enough AJAX. The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, web-enabled. The aptitude to evolve virally leads to the ability to scale super-magnetically. What does the buzzword "subscriber-defined" really mean? Have you ever been pressured to reintermediate your functionality? Immediately? Your budget for disintermediating should be at least three times your budget for disintermediating. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: compelling. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our architectures but our capacity to brand. Think front-end. Think B2B2C. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can facilitate fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to optimize easily. The systems factor is open-source. Do you have a scheme to become granular? We will augment our power to target without decreasing our capability to whiteboard. Without adequate macro-bandwidth, experiences are forced to become social-network-based. Think mega-mission-critical. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to generate transparently. We will evolve the commonly-accepted term "co-branded". The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: viral. A company that can engage easily will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to implement correctly. Think co-branded. Think viral, plug-and-play. Think killer. But don't think all three at the same time. If you deliver strategically, you may have to transition transparently. We believe we know that it is better to evolve intuitively than to disintermediate dynamically. We invariably architect seamless platforms. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market! It may seem mixed-up, but it's 100% true! Is it more important for something to be plug-and-play or to be 24/7/365? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration.