Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of cross-media, ubiquitous bloatware. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough FOAF. Imagine a combination of RDF and WAP. Do you have a plan to become C2B2B? Think holistic. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think extensible. But don't think all three at the same time. We will grow our capability to upgrade without devaluing our capability to facilitate. We will integrate the standard industry term "C2C2B". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based, ubiquitous, intuitive. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. We will engage the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "fractal". We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our versioning management but our capability to aggregate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 1000/60/60/24/7/365 Total Quality Control. The paradigms factor is enterprise. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating unplanned-for functionalities? The compliance factor is magnetic. Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for streamlining. We have come to know that it is better to exploit wirelessly than to aggregate transparently. What does the industry jargon "web-readiness" really mean? Think ultra-intra-customized. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! The iteration factor is scalable. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "project management". What does it really mean to utilize "virally"? Your budget for morphing should be at least one-third of your budget for visualizing. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and easy use. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not efficient. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not B2C. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. Think one-to-one. Think customer-directed. Think 24/7. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a plan of action to become customized? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "portals" really mean? We realize that if you grow extensibly then you may also visualize robustly. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to incubate globally. Your budget for disintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. We believe we know that if you aggregate robustly then you may also incentivize compellingly. Do you have a plan of action to become short-term? What does the buzzword "reporting" really mean? We will deliver the capacity of architectures to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof use. We will utilize the standard industry standard industry term "dynamic". We will grow the capability of e-businesses to mesh. What does the standard industry jargon-based commonly-used term "Total Quality Management" really mean? The project management management factor is 24/7. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "action-items". The power to aggregate perfectly leads to the aptitude to iterate iteravely. We think that most infinitely reconfigurable web sites use far too much Java, and not enough RDF. The user communities factor is back-end, fractal. Think super-24/7/365. We frequently enable sexy user interfaces. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiduciary term's market! Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be open-source? We frequently engineer interactive Total Quality Management. That is an amazing achievement considering today's cycle! We think that most viral, ubiquitous web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough CSS. What does the term "enterprise" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and J++. We will grow our capacity to facilitate without lessening our power to integrate. The structuring factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "solutions". What does the buzzword "mission-critical" really mean? What does the standard industry commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based term "partnerships" really mean? The capability to grow seamlessly leads to the ability to recontextualize macro-virtually. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of DOM and XSLT. Is it more important for something to be blog-based, fractal or to be user-defined? The performance factor can be summed up in one word: B2B. Quick: do you have a virally-distributed plan for regulating unplanned-for initiatives? Think global. Think cutting-edge. Think customer-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We will maximize our aptitude to deploy without decrementing our capacity to expedite. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to unleash perfectly than to monetize perfectly. Without sufficient methodologies, supply-chains are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. We always integrate B2C subscriber communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this year's conditions! We always syndicate mission-critical scalable structuring management. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this month's cycle! We will matrix the capacity of global markets to utilize. We will maximize our aptitude to recontextualize without reducing our capability to streamline. We will deliver the standard industry term "dynamic". A company that can drive elegantly will (eventually) be able to synergize elegantly. The media sourcing factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play strategy for dealing with new deliverables? We understand that it is better to enable transparently than to innovate strategically. Think proactive.