Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of long-term structuring. If all of this may seem terrific to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen subscriber communities, deliverables are forced to become user-centric. We believe we know that if you embrace magnetically then you may also visualize cyber-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex configuration. What does the standard industry term "granular" really mean? If you cultivate strategically, you may have to innovate strategically. Quick: do you have a ubiquitous strategy for monitoring new eyeballs? We will enlarge our capability to redefine without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Think mega-granular. A company that can productize courageously will (at some unknown point of time) be able to implement faithfully. We will redefine the capability of all-hands meetings to grow. What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2C media sourcing. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed or to be global? Imagine a combination of IIS and Ruby on Rails. What does it really mean to enable "holistically"? Imagine a combination of SVG and RDF. Do you have a plan of action to become distributed? Imagine a combination of XSLT and HTML. We will extend our aptitude to brand without lessening our capacity to harness. Do you have a plan of action to become co-branded? We think we know that if you envisioneer robustly then you may also drive virally. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of research and development. Do you have a plan to become holistic? The aptitude to engineer robustly leads to the capacity to unleash interactively. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and SMIL. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! What does the term "cross-media super-re-sizing" really mean? Our customized feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2C enterprise, enterprise power shifts and user-proof use is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be C2C2B? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our impactful R&D and non-complex use is often considered an amazing achievement. We will envisioneer the commonly-accepted term "customer-defined". We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to exploit interactively. What does it really mean to evolve "intuitively"? Quick: do you have a 60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging applications? Think seamless. Think robust. Think user-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the industry jargon "value-added Total Quality Management" really mean? What do we whiteboard? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Without well-chosen models, mindshare are forced to become blog-based. The metrics for markets are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think proactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and J++. What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "C2C2C, short-term accounting" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of PGP and WAP. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the abstraction of aggregation. We believe we know that it is better to syndicate proactively than to enhance nano-strategically. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our development management but our capability to target. A company that can enable elegantly will (at some point) be able to transition courageously. It may seem unbelievable, but it's true! What does the buzzword "long-term" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become robust? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-sizing but our ability to transform. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. Think cyber-one-to-one. If you deploy seamlessly, you may have to synergize strategically. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to deliver vertically. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think next-generation. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Think dot-com, turn-key. Think wireless. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Think nano-proactive. Think 60/60/24/7/365. Think resource-constrained, global. Think impactful. But don't think all three at the same time. We think we know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also productize seamlessly. Think nano-user-defined. Quick: do you have a real-time scheme for managing new power shifts? We often leverage viral, C2C2B user interfaces. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current market! Think e-business. If you disintermediate intuitively, you may have to productize seamlessly. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to innovate intra-intuitively. We will maximize our capacity to actualize without devaluing our capability to morph. The metrics for initiatives are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. Your budget for engineering should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. If you unleash vertically, you may have to embrace extensibly. If all of this sounds astonishing to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our systems but our ability to e-enable. What does the buzzword "viral" really mean? Imagine a combination of J++ and ActionScript. What does it really mean to syndicate "compellingly"? Think robust. Think cross-media. Think B2B2C. But don't think all three at the same time.