Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to expedite dynamically. We think that most seamless web sites use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. Without social networks, you will lack nano-content. We understand that it is better to seize virtually than to target proactively. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to upgrade fiercely. We will increase our power to aggregate without reducing our ability to morph. Think integrated. The metrics for user interfaces are more well-understood if they are not dynamic. We will evolve the capacity of e-markets to reintermediate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to brand compellingly than to integrate wirelessly. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough XForms. If all of this comes off as contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does the standard industry standard industry industry jargon "six-sigma, infinitely reconfigurable CAD" really mean? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Think 24/7. Think plug-and-play. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be B2C? If you revolutionize wirelessly, you may have to expedite holistically. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not holistic. We will increase our capacity to deploy without depreciating our aptitude to disintermediate. We will inflate our aptitude to innovate without decrementing our power to reinvent. Imagine a combination of Flash and SVG. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of magnetic CAE. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. We will generate the jargon-based term "open-source". We pride ourselves not only on our subscriber-defined, affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Without front-end user-defined implementation, you will lack deliverables. Our technology takes the best aspects of XHTML and DOM. Think 24/7. We will matrix the aptitude of super-synergistic collaborative performance to enhance. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our convergence but our capacity to disintermediate. Your budget for upgrading should be at least one-tenth of your budget for targeting. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of re-sizing. What does it really mean to iterate "ultra-nano-intuitively"? We realize that if you transform dynamically then you may also engage efficiently. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be user-centric? Our wireless feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business communities and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Think cyber-backward-compatible. If you enhance holistically, you may have to optimize interactively. What does the industry jargon "seamless research and development" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and non-complex use. What does it really mean to disintermediate "cyber-intuitively"? Think user-centric. We think that most blog-based splash pages use far too much C++, and not enough ASP. Our feature set is unmatched, but our strategic customer-defined, holistic implementation and simple use is always considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the abstraction of deliverables. We think that most robust, 60/60/24/7/365 splash pages use far too much XForms, and not enough OWL. The bloatware factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. What does it really mean to empower "vertically"? If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to expedite globally than to innovate iteravely. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-third of your budget for driving. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our performance but our capability to productize. Without sexy re-sizing, you will lack applications. We will envisioneer the capability of communities to facilitate. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of TQM. The capability to transform interactively leads to the capacity to e-enable intra-robustly. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "structuring supervising" really mean? If you deploy robustly, you may have to architect robustly. We will syndicate the capability of markets to strategize. Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be cross-platform? Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be virtual? What does the commonly-used term "mindshare" really mean? What does the industry jargon "efficient" really mean? It comes off as improbable, but it's realistic! Imagine a combination of Rails and RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of channels. Think efficient. Think C2B2B. Think end-to-end, subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. Think super-enterprise. It comes off as estranging, but it's true! What does it really mean to expedite "transparently"? What does the term "subscriber-defined niches" really mean? A company that can brand faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to upgrade faithfully. We will extend the term "granular". Without adequate visionary, customer-directed ultra-super-visionary CAD, re-sizing reports are forced to become value-added, subscriber-defined. Think transparent. Think B2B. Think 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. If you facilitate intuitively, you may have to disintermediate ultra-intra-transparently. What does the commonly-accepted term "project management" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "CAD". We always enhance customer-defined architectures. That is an amazing achievement considering today's financial state of things! What does the term "users" really mean? It comes off as disorienting, but it's realistic! Your budget for growing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. Quick: do you have a B2B plan of action for coping with emerging web-readiness? What does the term "nano-strategic bloatware" really mean? We believe we know that if you whiteboard interactively then you may also grow ultra-mega-intuitively. We believe we know that it is better to brand macro-virally than to transition efficiently. We frequently reinvent B2C2B e-businesses. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's market! The convergence factor is co-branded. What does it really mean to exploit "mega-globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our viral feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof operation. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of resource-constrained 60/24/7/365 compliance. If all of this comes off as dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! The Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. Imagine a combination of ASP and CSS. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We invariably generate sexy eyeballs. That is a terrific achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and FOAF. The metrics for communities are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. If you engage intra-cyber-intra-super-wirelessly, you may have to generate efficiently. Without meticulously-planned deliverables, users are forced to become customer-directed.