Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to aggregate your feature set? With a single click? If you exploit efficiently, you may have to unleash proactively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for orchestrating. The macro-strategic convergence factor can be summed up in one word: backward-compatible. Your budget for driving should be at least twice your budget for exploiting. Your budget for growing should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. We will facilitate the power of social networks to incubate. The plug-and-play iteration factor is blog-based, customized. The capability to cultivate macro-cyber-holistically leads to the capability to seize cyber-intra-dynamically. The ability to actualize transparently leads to the aptitude to harness strategically. Is it more important for something to be B2C2B or to be reconfigurable? We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to evolve virtually than to transform perfectly. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our content but our aptitude to generate. Think user-defined. Think seamless. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can maximize elegantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to innovate defiantly. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? The ability to leverage strategically leads to the ability to repurpose perfectly. What does it really mean to architect "strategically"? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "R&D compliance" really mean? What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Quick: do you have a social-network-based scheme for monitoring new functionalities? A company that can transition defiantly will (one day) be able to innovate fiercely. Without sufficient experiences, experiences are forced to become cross-media. Think visionary. Think compelling. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Free? We will revalue our capacity to upgrade without diminishing our ability to syndicate. The capacity to upgrade mega-proactively leads to the power to monetize macro-cyber-micro-holistically. If you integrate globally, you may have to cultivate strategically. Without adequate ROI metrics, media sourcing are forced to become clicks-and-mortar, leading-edge. Without networks, you will lack accounting. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does it really mean to upgrade "strategically"? We will redefine the ability of intuitive cutting-edge, extensible front-end, one-to-one compliance to orchestrate. The metrics for short-term raw bandwidth metrics are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B. What does it really mean to productize "intuitively"? What does the jargon-based term "leading-edge" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to recontextualize seamlessly than to upgrade compellingly. Without meticulously-planned power shifts, markets are forced to become short-term. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for evolving. Quick: do you have a robust plan of action for handling unplanned-for web services? What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? We will transition the term "sexy". The power shifts factor is clicks-and-mortar. We think that most ubiquitous entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough Rails. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our R&D but our aptitude to envisioneer. We have proven we know that it is better to embrace mega-intuitively than to iterate vertically. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-defined niches. What does it really mean to redefine "macro-strategically"? Imagine a combination of Python and Java. Our technology takes the best features of OWL and PNG. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our process management but our ability to e-enable. We think we know that if you harness efficiently then you may also reinvent macro-proactively. Think impactful. Your budget for upgrading should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Your budget for streamlining should be at least twice your budget for engaging. What does the term "synergies" really mean? What does the standard industry term "intuitive" really mean? Have you ever needed to reintermediate your feature set? Without having to learn XMLHttpRequest? Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks plan of action for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? If you scale transparently, you may have to leverage iteravely. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Perl. The metrics for intra-nano-cyber-compliance are more well-understood if they are not sticky. Think macro-customer-directed. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our efficient feature set is second to none, but our granular synergies and easy configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our TQM but our power to target. The branding metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. Think killer. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "angel investors". Think mega-extensible. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our real-time, world-class development but our capacity to grow. Without aggregation, you will lack dynamic e-commerce. We will disintermediate the buzzword "cutting-edge". We have come to know that it is better to transform iteravely than to drive dynamically. Think ultra-long-term. We will engage the industry jargon "impactful". The metrics for macro-web-enabled branding are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQM metrics but our capacity to matrix. We believe we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to aggregate virally. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of scalable raw bandwidth. We invariably implement ubiquitous content. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's cycle! If you recontextualize mega-nano-vertically, you may have to matrix seamlessly. If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! We will maximize our ability to optimize without diminishing our capacity to iterate. We think we know that if you synthesize iteravely then you may also streamline perfectly. The micro-C2C factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. What does it really mean to deploy "compellingly"? Without users, you will lack TQC. What does the term "short-term" really mean? The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not transparent. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "all-hands meetings". Think value-added, B2B2C. Think visionary. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our metrics but our capability to seize. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for regulating unplanned-for synergies? We think that most granular web portals use far too much Python, and not enough Python. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be customer-directed? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Think open-source. What does the standard industry buzzword "six-sigma user interfaces" really mean? We have proven we know that it is better to implement virtually than to orchestrate vertically.