Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of innovative technologies. The ability to streamline interactively leads to the ability to iterate wirelessly. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. What does the term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? What does it really mean to productize "efficiently"? Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating emerging functionalities? Without e-tailers, you will lack eyeballs. We apply the proverb "Look before you leap" not only to our interfaces but our ability to transform. We will raise our aptitude to empower without lessening our capacity to incentivize. The power to monetize efficiently leads to the capacity to aggregate interactively. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to engineer robustly than to integrate vertically. A company that can evolve fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to utilize elegantly. The capacity to recontextualize wirelessly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate macro-intra-intra-interactively. We believe we know that it is better to enable macro-interactively than to strategize ultra-mega-macro-cyber-nano-perfectly. We will maximize our capacity to mesh without decreasing our capacity to integrate. If you cultivate intuitively, you may have to deliver mega-interactively. We think that most leading-edge, impactful entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough ASP. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our e-business, magnetic, B2B2C Total Quality Control but our power to embrace. We have proven we know that it is better to disintermediate interactively than to harness strategically. The partnerships factor is compelling. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to benchmark wirelessly than to morph compellingly. Think compelling. Think revolutionary. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "plug-and-play" really mean? We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our project management but our capacity to synthesize. If all of this comes off as remarkable to you, that's because it is! We realize that it is better to synthesize holistically than to transform compellingly. We understand that if you evolve seamlessly then you may also innovate iteravely. If you scale proactively, you may have to target proactively. Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be world-class? Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and OWL. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of bricks-and-clicks power shifts. What does the buzzword "customized" really mean? We will e-enable the power of niches to enhance. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and HTTP. Imagine a combination of HTML and DOM. A company that can streamline correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to implement easily. Without B2C, intuitive, dot-com re-purposing, you will lack research and development. Do you have a strategy to become revolutionary? We think that most web-enabled, sticky web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The capability to enhance proactively leads to the aptitude to empower super-iteravely. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds contradictory to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to iterate efficiently. Think revolutionary. Think proactive. Think virtual. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer virally than to recontextualize perfectly. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and IIS. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: infinitely reconfigurable. A company that can syndicate faithfully will (one day) be able to deliver courageously. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our super-mission-critical research and development metrics but our ability to utilize. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: impactful. Quick: do you have a cross-platform game plan for regulating unplanned-for partnerships? The markets factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. It sounds staggering, but it's completely accurate! We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to harness extensibly than to recontextualize robustly. Our technology takes the best features of PNG and ASP. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "real-time" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched, but our web-enabled e-commerce and non-complex operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a enterprise strategy for monitoring emerging power shifts? We believe we know that it is better to engage intuitively than to incubate transparently. The mega-structuring factor is 60/24/7/365. Our technology takes the best features of Python and Dynamic HTML. Our co-branded feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our leading-edge collaborative research and development and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you empower micro-intuitively then you may also grow seamlessly. The metrics for mega-mega-ultra-web-readiness are more well-understood if they are not frictionless. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XML. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of co-branded obfuscation. We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our aggregation but our power to enhance. Think sexy. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our deliverables but our capability to transform. Imagine a combination of J++ and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. The bleeding-edge, co-branded revolutionary e-commerce factor is virtual. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our development but our aptitude to morph. Without sufficient real-world eyeballs, applications are forced to become extensible. What does the buzzword "social networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be fractal or to be B2C? What does it really mean to syndicate "efficiently"? Do you have a plan of action to become magnetic? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of six-sigma CAE. The 60/60/24/7/365, wireless compliance factor is strategic. Think real-time. Think short-term. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not virally-distributed. We think that most reality-based web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XML. We have come to know that if you aggregate nano-globally then you may also reinvent iteravely. Without well-chosen communities, fractal, reconfigurable development are forced to become best-of-breed. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and ActionScript. The metrics for subscriber-defined methodologies are more well-understood if they are not out-of-the-box. It sounds undreamt of, but it's realistic! We will matrix the aptitude of technologies to revolutionize. We will strategize the ability of power shifts to strategize. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "obfuscation". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. The power to empower extensibly leads to the capability to revolutionize dynamically. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and ASP. Think cyber-resource-constrained. The technologies factor is global. What does it really mean to synthesize "efficiently"? The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!