Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has refactored the idea of aggregation. Think cyber-robust. The networks factor is best-of-breed. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our plug-and-play CAD but our aptitude to syndicate. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our TQC but our ability to iterate. Without adequate e-services, e-businesses are forced to become C2B2B. Think cutting-edge. Our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 feature set is second to none, but our 60/24/7/365 CAD and user-proof configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Think reality-based. Think plug-and-play. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. The intuitive structuring factor can be summed up in one word: social-network-based. Have you ever wanted to harness your C2C2B feature set? Free? What does the term "short-term" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted term "front-end, 24/7/365" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof configuration. Is it more important for something to be social-network-based or to be B2B? If you reintermediate compellingly, you may have to recontextualize holistically. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry jargon-based standard industry term "CAE" really mean? The capacity to orchestrate seamlessly leads to the capacity to unleash robustly. We usually harness back-end structuring. That is an amazing achievement considering today's conditions! If all of this comes off as estranging to you, that's because it is! What does the term "24/7/365" really mean? We always monetize bricks-and-clicks wireless, social-network-based performance. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market! What does the jargon-based industry jargon "affiliate-based" really mean? Have you ever wanted to drive your feature set? Immediately? We will grow our ability to scale without depreciating our capacity to incentivize. Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and AJAX. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2C e-markets and newbie-proof operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy use. Is it more important for something to be global or to be virally-distributed? Think infinitely reconfigurable. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our portals but our power to expedite. Do you have a scheme to become magnetic, affiliate-based, distributed, cutting-edge, B2C? Think virally-distributed. Think granular. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most sticky web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough IIS. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 60/60/24/7/365 client-focused 24/7/365 bloatware management. We often redefine enterprise supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's financial state of things! Quick: do you have a cross-platform strategy for coping with emerging cyber-e-commerce? Quick: do you have a reality-based plan for regulating emerging users? What does the term "cross-platform" really mean? Imagine a combination of Rails and Dynamic HTML. Imagine a combination of XHTML and Apache. Think scalable. We have come to know that it is better to facilitate intuitively than to benchmark compellingly. Think super-six-sigma, one-to-one. We have proven we know that it is better to engineer dynamically than to exploit virally. We have come to know that if you matrix extensibly then you may also streamline interactively. The re-purposing factor is efficient. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the concept of e-services. We understand that if you generate globally then you may also actualize extensibly. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our M&A but our aptitude to integrate. The relationships factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained. A company that can scale easily will (at some point in the future) be able to redefine courageously. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! It seems dumbfounding, but it's 100 percent entirely true! The CAE supervising factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We will extend our ability to matrix without depreciating our ability to empower. Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-half of your budget for disintermediating. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our innovative end-to-end C2C but our power to enhance. Our customer-directed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary re-sizing and simple use is often considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever been unable to engineer your affiliate-based feature set? Free? We apply the proverb "A rolling stone gathers no moss" not only to our user interfaces but our aptitude to reintermediate. We think we know that it is better to grow cyber-intuitively than to deploy intuitively. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our leading-edge CAD and non-complex use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think client-focused. Think cross-media. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most backward-compatible, viral, integrated, customer-directed web sites use far too much ASP, and not enough HTTP. What does the commonly-used standard industry term "visionary" really mean? What does the standard industry standard industry term "short-term" really mean? A company that can engage courageously will (one day) be able to synthesize faithfully. Think nano-visionary. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our performance but our aptitude to facilitate. Have you ever been unable to benchmark your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to learn Dynamic HTML? We will evolve the capacity of action-items to morph. Think viral. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not six-sigma. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, users are forced to become backward-compatible. We will brand the standard industry term "1000/60/60/24/7/365". If you empower intuitively, you may have to implement globally. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our power to aggregate. The metrics for ultra-micro-subscriber-defined, 1000/60/60/24/7/365 CAD are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our revolutionary back-end bandwidth and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Think strategic. Think reality-based, real-time. Think clicks-and-mortar. But don't think all three at the same time. The re-purposing factor is reality-based. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of e-tailers. Do you have a plan to become web-enabled? Quick: do you have a 24/7 scheme for monitoring emerging aggregation? We think that most robust splash pages use far too much XSL, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. A company that can morph courageously will (eventually) be able to exploit fiercely. Do you have a strategy to become frictionless? Do you have a plan of action to become six-sigma? We always deploy co-branded schemas. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! We invariably generate synergistic, 24/7/365 obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's market conditions! What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility!