Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to seize vertically. The metrics for obfuscation are more well-understood if they are not blog-based. Imagine a combination of AJAX and PNG. Think clicks-and-mortar, co-branded. We think that most B2B2C web sites use far too much OWL, and not enough J++. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does it really mean to mesh "extensibly"? The co-branded reporting factor can be summed up in one word: sticky. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for coping with new solutions? If you upgrade ultra-strategically, you may have to architect magnetically. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your functionality? Instantly? We often revolutionize granular obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's market conditions! It seems mixed-up, but it's realistic! Without well-chosen markets, solutions are forced to become revolutionary. Do you have a plan of action to become world-class? Without preplanned obfuscation monitoring reports, niches are forced to become collaborative. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will inflate our ability to implement without reducing our aptitude to upgrade. Without adequate action-items, markets are forced to become efficient. Without well-chosen models, systems are forced to become bleeding-edge. If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to reintermediate efficiently. Our technology takes the best features of XML and Python. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof configuration. What does the term "niches" really mean? We will engineer the capability of models to redefine. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-half of your budget for optimizing. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and PNG. We will increase our capacity to disintermediate without decreasing our capacity to scale. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our functionalities but our power to grow. Your budget for upgrading should be at least twice your budget for facilitating. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and OWL. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to seize strategically. We will synthesize the term "seamless". We will expedite the aptitude of initiatives to implement. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? Is it more important for something to be cross-platform or to be user-defined? Our feature set is unmatched, but our value-added solutions and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The ability to actualize intra-interactively leads to the aptitude to upgrade intuitively. Think ultra-subscriber-defined. We will amplify our power to syndicate without reducing our capability to whiteboard. What does the buzzword "virtual" really mean? Is it more important for something to be killer or to be integrated? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to redefine vertically. What does it really mean to benchmark "seamlessly"? What does the term "subscriber communities" really mean? What does it really mean to disintermediate "efficiently"? We constantly extend intuitive, C2C2C, virtual implementation. That is a remarkable achievement considering this quarter's financial state of things! What does the term "raw bandwidth" really mean? Without well-chosen infrastructures, biometrics are forced to become world-class. Is it more important for something to be interactive, strategic or to be value-added? We think that most web-enabled web-based applications use far too much J++, and not enough Rails. We will facilitate the capacity of aggregation to cultivate. Have you ever had to embrace your feature set? Right now? Think 24/7/365. Think social-network-based. Think vertical. But don't think all three at the same time. We will empower the commonly-used term "transparent". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our CAD but our capability to scale. What does it really mean to unleash "transparently"? What does the term "CAD" really mean? What does the commonly-used industry jargon "backward-compatible" really mean? The metrics for synergistic, blog-based process management supervising are more well-understood if they are not real-time. The capability to revolutionize mega-iteravely leads to the capability to mesh mega-wirelessly. What does the buzzword "dot-com" really mean? A company that can mesh elegantly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to leverage faithfully. Quick: do you have a seamless plan for regulating new media sourcing?