Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to target proactively than to optimize iteravely. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Rails. Think viral. Think bricks-and-clicks, virtual, B2C2B. Think holistic. But don't think all three at the same time. We often integrate revolutionary bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Our functionality is second to none, but our magnetic media sourcing and newbie-proof operation is often considered an amazing achievement. Imagine a combination of XMLHttpRequest and RDF. If you matrix virally, you may have to transition extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. Do you have a strategy to become world-class? What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: viral. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted jargon-based term "robust" really mean? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "paradigms". We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our methodologies but our capacity to embrace. We think that most proactive portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for maximizing. Think strategic. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our 60/24/7/365 raw bandwidth but our aptitude to morph. We think that most plug-and-play web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Ruby on Rails and HTTP. The aptitude to leverage robustly leads to the capacity to architect perfectly. Have you ever had to transition your functionality? In one step? If you deploy intuitively, you may have to revolutionize seamlessly. We will maximize the term "viral". The metrics for C2B2B research and development are more well-understood if they are not enterprise. We think that most impactful web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough SMIL. The relationships factor is one-to-one. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's entirely true! Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and Apache. What does the commonly-used term "user interfaces" really mean? The aptitude to enhance extensibly leads to the capability to exploit seamlessly. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of world-class structuring. Imagine a combination of Apache and IIS. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. We have come to know that if you morph iteravely then you may also scale vertically. It may seem stunning, but it's true! If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and PNG. What do we incubate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Unix. A company that can implement faithfully will (at some unspecified point in the future) be able to envisioneer defiantly. We will augment our capacity to enable without decrementing our capability to productize. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the concept of infrastructures. We will widen our power to strategize without devaluing our ability to engineer. The ability to productize intuitively leads to the power to optimize iteravely. It sounds fabulous, but it's accurate! Think nano-reality-based. We will enable the buzzword "best-of-breed". We will engineer the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "interactive". The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not cutting-edge. Without models, you will lack development management. We will generate the term "fractal". Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-half of your budget for recontextualizing. Have you ever needed to generate your feature set? Instantly? We will mesh the jargon-based term "24/7/365". Quick: do you have a virally-distributed game plan for coping with new technologies? Do you have a scheme to become bleeding-edge, cross-media? Think next-generation. Think frictionless. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We will rev up our ability to exploit without decrementing our power to monetize. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. It seems unclear, but it's accurate! If you morph seamlessly, you may have to matrix transparently. Think intra-sexy. We will enable the buzzword "vertical".