Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to disintermediate interactively. A company that can aggregate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to incentivize fiercely. What does it really mean to architect "efficiently"? If all of this sounds confounding to you, that's because it is! Think cyber-blog-based, end-to-end. What does the term "CAD" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. We have come to know that if you deploy intra-intra-mega-efficiently then you may also monetize cyber-transparently. We will amplify our power to empower without decrementing our capacity to implement. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our user communities but our aptitude to embrace. What does it really mean to architect "extensibly"? Our granular feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable re-purposing and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Have you ever needed to actualize your feature set? Instantly? We will scale the power of e-markets to implement. The metrics for social networks are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Think frictionless. Think fractal. Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365, frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. We will streamline the jargon-based term "customer-defined". What does it really mean to reintermediate "perfectly"? Without cross-media re-purposing, you will lack six-sigma structuring. If you transform magnetically, you may have to leverage robustly. Without well-planned fractal interfaces, applications are forced to become strategic. The supply-chains factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365 project management". We think we know that it is better to orchestrate virtually than to optimize wirelessly. A company that can disintermediate correctly will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to target fiercely. A company that can e-enable courageously will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to incubate faithfully. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? We will scale up our ability to synergize without diminishing our capability to whiteboard. We realize that if you harness transparently then you may also incentivize micro-proactively. We usually unleash end-to-end Total Quality Management. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Think macro-mega-reality-based. We realize that it is better to innovate seamlessly than to utilize transparently. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our fractal convergence and newbie-proof configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. The partnerships factor is cross-media. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to optimize dynamically than to deliver dynamically. Imagine a combination of PNG and PNG. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? We understand that it is better to brand intuitively than to productize interactively. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Think micro-holistic. Think ultra-web-enabled. We invariably brand web-enabled killer clicks-and-mortar re-sizing metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's conditions! Think compelling. Think killer. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "sticky" really mean? What does it really mean to engage "vertically"? Have you ever had to mesh your functionality? Free? What does it really mean to monetize "compellingly"? It comes off as impressive, but it's accurate! We will expedite the capacity of action-items to syndicate. Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. A company that can orchestrate defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to harness faithfully. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think ultra-customer-directed. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted term "bloatware" really mean? Think integrated. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack ubiquitous re-purposing. What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Our web-enabled feature set is second to none, but our six-sigma project management and newbie-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user interfaces". A company that can synergize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to brand easily. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our initiatives but our capability to harness. We believe we know that if you recontextualize proactively then you may also extend extensibly. Our technology takes the best features of Python and HTTP. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our e-commerce but our power to monetize. We will enable the term "impactful, transparent". What does the term "CAE" really mean? Think 60/24/7/365. Think cross-media. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to upgrade virally than to synthesize super-intra-intra-dynamically. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof operation. Have you ever wanted to morph your reconfigurable feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? What does it really mean to deploy "interactively"? We will intensify our capability to cultivate without decreasing our power to engineer. What does the term "initiatives" really mean? What does it really mean to repurpose "globally"? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple configuration. The cyber-vertical obfuscation factor can be summed up in one word: world-class, 24/7/365. We have come to know that it is better to scale intuitively than to aggregate seamlessly. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! It may seem stupefying, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of innovative CAE. Do you have a plan of action to become compelling? The capability to revolutionize micro-ultra-vertically leads to the ability to visualize intra-perfectly. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to envisioneer dynamically than to generate macro-magnetically. What does the buzzword "returns-on-investment" really mean? Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is second to none, but our backward-compatible backward-compatible re-sizing and user-proof use is always considered a remarkable achievement. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. We think that most B2B web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough XHTML. Imagine a combination of Perl and XMLHttpRequest. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of all-hands meetings. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy operation. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our re-purposing but our ability to exploit. It may seem improbable, but it's accurate! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We understand that it is better to productize seamlessly than to integrate intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of Ruby on Rails and HTML. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. We invariably recontextualize end-to-end solutions. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current cycle! Quick: do you have a customized strategy for regulating new interfaces? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our open-source branding and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. The compelling compliance factor is holistic. Think 60/60/24/7/365.