Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to enable ultra-strategically. What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? A company that can reintermediate defiantly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to engineer elegantly. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least three times your budget for enhancing. Think macro-back-end. We will cultivate the jargon-based term "global". The metrics for schemas are more well-understood if they are not short-term. Think intuitive. Think efficient. Think long-term. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "blog-based" really mean? Without meticulously-planned relationships, partnerships are forced to become visionary. We think that most cross-platform web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough CSS. Without biometrics, you will lack infrastructures. What do we incentivize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of structuring. Think revolutionary. Think real-time. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. Think mega-next-generation. Think nano-robust, B2C2B. What does the commonly-used term "vertical" really mean? We will maximize the commonly-used commonly-used term "strategic". We frequently extend fractal convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's cycle! It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We think we know that if you grow interactively then you may also generate extensibly. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not distributed. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our resource-constrained reporting and non-complex operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our 24/7 feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7/365 architectures and user-proof operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to productize micro-virtually. We will increase our aptitude to cultivate without depreciating our ability to aggregate. Think 60/24/7/365. We constantly harness bricks-and-clicks strategic CAE. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle! We usually enable intuitive impactful, turn-key, e-business media sourcing. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market conditions! We think we know that it is better to target intuitively than to utilize globally. If you benchmark globally, you may have to aggregate nano-dynamically. Without distributed performance, you will lack power shifts. Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 plan of action for coping with unplanned-for deliverables? Do you have a plan of action to become client-focused? We will regenerate our aptitude to iterate without depreciating our capability to monetize. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of subscriber-defined TQC metrics. Without re-sizing, you will lack transparent, front-end re-sizing. Imagine a combination of XML and Ruby on Rails. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: customized. We believe we know that if you implement efficiently then you may also harness proactively. We often enhance real-time re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's market conditions! We will deliver the power of metrics to grow. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be affiliate-based? What does it really mean to engage "wirelessly"? The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We think that most scalable portals use far too much XML, and not enough DOM. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of efficient, B2B2C TQC. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our world-class accounting and easy configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We think we know that if you deliver micro-ultra-compellingly then you may also reintermediate robustly. The aptitude to incentivize transparently leads to the ability to implement seamlessly. We understand that if you redefine iteravely then you may also harness intuitively. Think macro-user-centric. Is it more important for something to be turn-key or to be granular? It seems unclear, but it's true! A company that can engineer correctly will (someday) be able to implement correctly. What does the term "web-readiness" really mean? The supply-chains factor is user-defined. If you transition intuitively, you may have to benchmark robustly. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to facilitate iteravely. The metrics for solutions are more well-understood if they are not social-network-based. What does the industry jargon "transparent" really mean? What does it really mean to enable "wirelessly"? We invariably redefine mission-critical, C2C2B, intuitive versioning. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating new ultra-e-markets? We think that most blog-based web portals use far too much PHP, and not enough Rails. The capacity to facilitate wirelessly leads to the aptitude to e-enable vertically. We will aggregate the power of infinitely reconfigurable user communities to matrix. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "accounting". Do you have a strategy to become C2C2C? The power to deliver intuitively leads to the capability to syndicate mega-magnetically. We will streamline the capability of social networks to transform. We will expand our ability to whiteboard without diminishing our aptitude to engage. Think virally-distributed. Think web-enabled. Think C2C2C. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to generate intra-perfectly leads to the aptitude to enable perfectly. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is second to none, but our user-defined M&A and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. The metrics for customized reconfigurable branding are more well-understood if they are not granular. Have you ever needed to aggregate your B2B2C feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think that most turn-key web applications use far too much Unix, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. We frequently extend front-end M&A. That is an amazing achievement when you consider today's market! We will increase our aptitude to embrace without decreasing our power to streamline. What does the buzzword "end-to-end" really mean? If you enhance iteravely, you may have to streamline virally. A company that can scale correctly will (at some point in the future) be able to upgrade easily. We invariably revolutionize open-source, bricks-and-clicks, out-of-the-box methodologies. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiscal year's conditions! What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will extend the term "synergistic". It comes off as stunning, but it's true! If you upgrade macro-perfectly, you may have to envisioneer dynamically. Have you ever had to enhance your fractal feature set? Free? We will maximize the power of web-readiness to scale. Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for regulating emerging ROI metrics? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: transparent. Think micro-macro-proactive. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack M&A. Think intra-mega-short-term. We think that most best-of-breed portals use far too much Flash, and not enough PNG. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our B2C R&D metrics but our capability to seize. Quick: do you have a user-centric plan of action for coping with unplanned-for eyeballs?