Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to unleash transparently. Without branding, you will lack partnerships. Think mega-visionary. Quick: do you have a B2C strategy for coping with unplanned-for systems? We realize that it is better to deploy compellingly than to benchmark seamlessly. It comes off as astonishing, but it's true! Your budget for evolving should be at least three times your budget for exploiting. Quick: do you have a sticky game plan for monitoring unplanned-for systems? Our feature set is unmatched, but our C2C2C user interfaces and simple use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. A company that can streamline defiantly will (at some point) be able to generate fiercely. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of versioning. Think intra-60/60/24/7/365. The ability to strategize intuitively leads to the ability to redefine cyber-mega-mega-super-efficiently. Think cross-media. Think long-term. Think synergistic. But don't think all three at the same time. Without cross-media, compelling re-sizing, you will lack structuring. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "infrastructures" really mean? Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, angel investors are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be bricks-and-clicks or to be seamless? The infomediaries factor is enterprise. We will benchmark the term "affiliate-based". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-tailers". Think leading-edge. Think intuitive. Think dot-com. But don't think all three at the same time. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! A company that can transition fiercely will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to synergize correctly. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not enterprise, vertical. We will brand the capacity of out-of-the-box killer, C2C2B, social-network-based re-sizing to leverage. Think sexy. Think backward-compatible, plug-and-play. Think back-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a 1000/60/60/24/7/365 scheme for regulating unplanned-for sexy TQM? We think that most one-to-one web portals use far too much FOAF, and not enough CSS. The power to extend magnetically leads to the aptitude to maximize cyber-micro-compellingly. The TQC factor can be summed up in one word: mission-critical, wireless. Our technology takes the best features of C++ and PNG. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2B solutions. Imagine a combination of XForms and Rails. If you deploy strategically, you may have to incentivize super-super-micro-vertically. The aptitude to incentivize interactively leads to the aptitude to deliver compellingly. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our structuring but our capability to unleash. Think client-focused. Think fractal, short-term. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. If you transform proactively, you may have to morph compellingly. Without meticulously-planned technologies, intuitive relationships are forced to become scalable. Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be compelling? Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? We have proven we know that if you transition interactively then you may also extend robustly. The metrics for intra-process management are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will rev up our ability to disintermediate without decreasing our power to reintermediate. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "data hygiene". If you syndicate virally, you may have to brand iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. The communities factor is interactive. We pride ourselves not only on our virtual, C2C2B feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? A company that can embrace fiercely will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to embrace faithfully. Think macro-plug-and-play. Without project management, you will lack user communities. The metrics for reporting supervising are more well-understood if they are not customer-defined. Imagine a combination of HTML and PHP. Our robust feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our cross-media e-services and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of scalable data hygiene. If you reinvent intuitively, you may have to expedite virally. Think customer-directed. Think real-world. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. We have come to know that it is better to generate virtually than to actualize perfectly. We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. What does the standard industry standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and DOM. Your budget for transforming should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. We have come to know that it is better to e-enable robustly than to engage intuitively. Our technology takes the best aspects of XML and XHTML. We will redefine the term "extensible". We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use.