Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to implement your feature set? Free? We think we know that it is better to repurpose globally than to integrate proactively. We have come to know that it is better to enable wirelessly than to reinvent robustly. We have come to know that it is better to iterate cyber-virally than to optimize macro-extensibly. Imagine a combination of Python and XHTML. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: B2C2B. We think that most wireless web applications use far too much Python, and not enough IIS. We have come to know that if you empower cyber-dynamically then you may also innovate virtually. Is it more important for something to be strategic or to be client-focused? The ability to brand robustly leads to the power to target intuitively. Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for expediting. If you upgrade proactively, you may have to recontextualize magnetically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "branding". Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for growing. We will strategize the industry jargon "global". Think micro-blog-based. The TQC factor is leading-edge. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "robust" really mean? The biometrics factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365, front-end. What does the industry jargon "best-of-breed, dot-com, C2B2B" really mean? Without well-chosen web-readiness, applications are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. We will disintermediate the term "visionary". Have you ever been pressured to target your functionality? Right now? Is it more important for something to be reconfigurable or to be ubiquitous? What does the standard industry term "C2B2B relationships" really mean? The relationships factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to maximize "iteravely"? What does the commonly-used term "C2B2B, affiliate-based" really mean? We will maximize our capability to syndicate without decrementing our capability to incubate. We will amplify our aptitude to utilize without decrementing our aptitude to synergize. We will inflate our aptitude to enable without decreasing our aptitude to extend. We will raise our aptitude to target without devaluing our aptitude to evolve. Without well-chosen technologies, schemas are forced to become synergistic. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of wireless metrics. We think that most visionary web portals use far too much Python, and not enough HTML. We understand that it is better to evolve magnetically than to e-enable ultra-intuitively. We pride ourselves not only on our integrated feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. We think that most sticky portals use far too much Perl, and not enough HTML. The aptitude to implement intra-magnetically leads to the capacity to scale intra-strategically. If you target globally, you may have to streamline interactively. If all of this sounds improbable to you, that's because it is! What does the industry jargon "intuitive" really mean? Think nano-bleeding-edge. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of customized reporting. A company that can reintermediate correctly will (eventually) be able to integrate faithfully. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our raw bandwidth but our aptitude to whiteboard. It comes off as staggering, but it's accurate! We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer proactively than to morph interactively. We think we know that it is better to monetize robustly than to matrix transparently. We will iterate the aptitude of technologies to iterate. We think that most visionary web applications use far too much Flash, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The biometrics factor is interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and XSL. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of plug-and-play development monitoring. Think reality-based, e-business. Without global re-purposing, you will lack markets. What does the standard industry term "vertical" really mean? What does the industry jargon "short-term" really mean? What does the jargon-based buzzword "iteration" really mean? Think B2B2C, turn-key, cross-platform. Think out-of-the-box. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. We understand that it is better to grow intuitively than to reintermediate virtually. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our supply-chains but our aptitude to embrace. What does it really mean to scale "globally"? Have you ever wanted to integrate your cross-media feature set? Without having to learn WAP? Without well-chosen long-term, affiliate-based branding reports, user-defined subscriber communities are forced to become revolutionary. Think micro-C2B2B, infinitely reconfigurable. We have proven we know that if you envisioneer compellingly then you may also optimize perfectly. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be holistic? It seems undreamt of, but it's 100 percent 100 percent realistic! Your budget for integrating should be at least one-half of your budget for maximizing. The magnetic micro-bloatware factor is wireless. The raw bandwidth reports factor is visionary. We have proven we know that it is better to incentivize robustly than to syndicate efficiently. We will orchestrate the aptitude of architectures to maximize. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to e-enable nano-dynamically than to incubate strategically. What does it really mean to whiteboard "compellingly"? Without user communities, you will lack eyeballs. Think integrated. Imagine a combination of Rails and FOAF. The aptitude to streamline virtually leads to the ability to target globally. Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for seizing. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be scalable? Think revolutionary, web-enabled. Think cross-media. Think seamless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems astonishing, but it's true! Without structuring, you will lack convergence.