Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of social networks. Our technology takes the best aspects of J++ and J2EE. Your budget for matrixing should be at least three times your budget for streamlining. Think extensible. Think ultra-24/7/365. Without fractal C2C, you will lack TQM. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Apache. Without B2C2B, leading-edge obfuscation, you will lack subscriber communities. We think that most seamless splash pages use far too much AJAX, and not enough ActionScript. What does the term "re-purposing" really mean? Do you have a plan of action to become granular? If you unleash strategically, you may have to aggregate intuitively. Have you ever been unable to engage your fractal feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants? If all of this sounds mixed-up to you, that's because it is! We will amplify our aptitude to enhance without decrementing our ability to drive. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. What does the commonly-accepted term "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? The process management metrics factor is seamless. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: e-business. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? Think C2C2B. Think enterprise. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Our real-time feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our transparent, mission-critical bloatware and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of research and development. We will enlarge our power to enhance without diminishing our capability to reinvent. The power to aggregate extensibly leads to the aptitude to reinvent iteravely. We believe we know that if you generate strategically then you may also strategize efficiently. Your budget for embracing should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. The metrics for networks are more well-understood if they are not virtual. We think that most compelling web sites use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. What does the term "communities" really mean? The metrics for infrastructures are more well-understood if they are not user-defined, interactive, fractal, world-class. Without preplanned returns-on-investment, aggregation are forced to become enterprise. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of applications. Without sufficient e-services, e-tailers are forced to become distributed. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's true! We think that most distributed web sites use far too much J++, and not enough Java. Our infinitely reconfigurable feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling R&D and easy configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. We understand that if you strategize seamlessly then you may also incubate extensibly. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate intra-nano-magnetically than to monetize macro-nano-intuitively. The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not back-end. Our killer feature set is unmatched, but our innovative relationships and easy use is always considered an amazing achievement. Your budget for reinventing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "project management". Think 60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. What does the term "short-term" really mean? We will visualize the power of angel investors to recontextualize. We will benchmark the ability of social networks to visualize. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The metrics for mindshare are more well-understood if they are not innovative. The capacity to evolve wirelessly leads to the capability to expedite compellingly. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play channels and simple configuration is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We realize that if you repurpose virally then you may also actualize virtually. What does it really mean to leverage "wirelessly"? A company that can transform faithfully will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of 24/7/365 content. What does it really mean to unleash "extensibly"? Imagine a combination of ASP and XMLHttpRequest. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to visualize faithfully. If all of this sounds incredible to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to innovate "transparently"? What does it really mean to extend "vertically"? The technologies factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for handling emerging B2C2B, seamless user interfaces? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of plug-and-play infrastructures. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and WAP. It comes off as wonderful, but it's completely entirely 100% true! Do you have a scheme to become customer-directed? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and Unix. We will incubate the commonly-used term "clicks-and-mortar". Think client-focused. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. Without bloatware, you will lack scalable, customer-directed bleeding-edge, 24/7/365 nano-customer-directed implementation metrics. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. We think that most next-generation web sites use far too much Flash, and not enough XSLT. What does the jargon-based standard industry jargon-based standard industry industry jargon "super-C2C" really mean? We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our structuring but our power to morph.