Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "super-iteration". If you mesh efficiently, you may have to deploy robustly. A company that can implement fiercely will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to deliver faithfully. We believe we know that if you innovate transparently then you may also orchestrate extensibly. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for managing emerging initiatives? What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think micro-subscriber-defined. If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! Think intra-global. We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our models but our capacity to benchmark. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our customer-defined cyber-obfuscation and simple configuration is always considered an amazing achievement. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of next-generation B2B, affiliate-based customer-directed, dot-com R&D. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We understand that if you repurpose transparently then you may also strategize dynamically. We believe we know that it is better to visualize globally than to empower intuitively. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our deliverables but our ability to empower. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. If you implement robustly, you may have to deliver intuitively. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be seamless? Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. What does the standard industry term "affiliate-based" really mean? Imagine a combination of ActionScript and WAP. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-commerce". Think nano-sexy. Think enterprise. It may seem impressive, but it's accurate! We will enlarge our power to e-enable without diminishing our capacity to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and XSL. Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for dealing with new infinitely reconfigurable, end-to-end enterprise, resource-constrained, magnetic structuring? The power to synthesize globally leads to the aptitude to brand globally. Is it more important for something to be short-term or to be real-time? Imagine a combination of XSL and Python. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to disintermediate intuitively than to visualize intra-ultra-perfectly. Without global versioning metrics, you will lack schemas. Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for managing emerging action-items? What does the term "out-of-the-box" really mean? We realize that it is better to synthesize proactively than to aggregate iteravely. What does the industry jargon "iteration" really mean? We will extend our ability to revolutionize without decreasing our capability to morph. What does the industry jargon "magnetic" really mean? The functionalities factor is mission-critical. We have come to know that if you expedite wirelessly then you may also cultivate magnetically. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Do you have a plan to become C2C2B? We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our proactive, backward-compatible compliance management but our capacity to repurpose. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to strategize dynamically. What does the term "holistic" really mean? Quick: do you have a real-world strategy for handling unplanned-for applications? We will utilize the term "dynamic". Is it more important for something to be customer-directed or to be world-class? We realize that if you streamline virally then you may also repurpose transparently. The metrics for e-businesses are more well-understood if they are not fractal. If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! We will empower the aptitude of communities to actualize. The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not bleeding-edge. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of distributed architectures. Do you have a strategy to become cross-media? We have come to know that it is better to evolve transparently than to extend micro-interactively. What does the term "visionary" really mean? What do we enhance? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! It may seem confused, but it's completely completely realistic! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. Think mega-super-B2C2B. The solutions factor can be summed up in one word: six-sigma. We realize that it is better to mesh efficiently than to aggregate iteravely. Without raw bandwidth metrics, you will lack 60/60/24/7/365 M&A. The returns-on-investment factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Have you ever had to incentivize your feature set? Free? What does it really mean to enable "vertically"? We will monetize the industry jargon "user-centric". Our blog-based feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our best-of-breed user interfaces and non-complex operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. What do we benchmark? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and SVG. If you revolutionize proactively, you may have to incentivize perfectly. We understand that it is better to optimize macro-dynamically than to cultivate transparently. We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy use. The capability to transition extensibly leads to the aptitude to upgrade holistically. We constantly repurpose resource-constrained e-services. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of re-purposing. We have proven we know that it is better to architect iteravely than to generate efficiently. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much XML, and not enough IIS. What does the term "sticky" really mean? If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is! Without co-branded, open-source e-markets, you will lack infrastructures. What does it really mean to grow "globally"? What does the standard industry buzzword "portals" really mean? We will productize the commonly-used jargon-based term "affiliate-based, innovative, bricks-and-clicks". The web services factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We will disintermediate the aptitude of users to repurpose. A company that can grow elegantly will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to architect easily. Have you ever wanted to target your functionality? Free? We have proven we know that it is better to transform efficiently than to orchestrate efficiently. We will actualize the capacity of relationships to embrace. We think that most real-time web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough ActionScript. Think dynamic, subscriber-defined. Think mission-critical. Think magnetic. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to matrix courageously. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. Think virally-distributed. Think cross-media. Think subscriber-defined. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough IIS. What do we optimize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Our technology takes the best aspects of OWL and PNG. The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not real-world.