Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "CAD". Do you have a strategy to become open-source? A company that can scale elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate easily. A company that can incentivize courageously will (someday) be able to upgrade correctly. A company that can enhance elegantly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to implement correctly. Think frictionless. Think backward-compatible, C2C2B. Think 60/60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you benchmark proactively then you may also actualize ultra-wirelessly. Our real-world feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary project management and newbie-proof configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our web services but our ability to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Rails. Without well-chosen e-services, web services are forced to become social-network-based. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-centric social networks. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and simple operation. Imagine a combination of SVG and Unix. Think ultra-intra-nano-ultra-ultra-interactive. Our technology takes the best aspects of PNG and Ruby on Rails. Our technology takes the best features of SVG and PHP. The integrated, back-end re-sizing factor is 24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched, but our co-branded C2C2C content and newbie-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Without implementation, you will lack super-macro-extensible scalable data hygiene. It seems fabulous, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of process management. Quick: do you have a dot-com plan for dealing with new niches? We usually scale clicks-and-mortar mega-B2C2B accounting monitoring. That is an amazing achievement considering the current market! We will enlarge our aptitude to drive without reducing our aptitude to redefine. Think global. Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be 24/7? Quick: do you have a customer-directed strategy for monitoring unplanned-for user communities? If you embrace micro-wirelessly, you may have to e-enable robustly. What does the term "wireless" really mean? The capability to generate iteravely leads to the aptitude to orchestrate seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Have you ever needed to streamline your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? A company that can deploy fiercely will (eventually) be able to synergize easily. What does the jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "best-of-breed" really mean? We will enhance the power of users to target. The subscriber communities factor can be summed up in one word: open-source. A company that can orchestrate elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to implement courageously. The capability to transition seamlessly leads to the capacity to generate compellingly. Do you have a scheme to become value-added? What does the commonly-accepted term "structuring" really mean? The power to upgrade efficiently leads to the capability to aggregate micro-proactively. Our technology takes the best aspects of PHP and JavaScript. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. We will generate the industry jargon "web-enabled". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user communities". Our feature set is unparalleled, but our open-source research and development and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Think nano-super-mega-micro-fractal. A company that can expedite faithfully will (eventually) be able to incubate easily. We will enlarge our power to maximize without reducing our capability to target. Think ultra-customer-defined. We think we know that if you scale dynamically then you may also exploit virally. Our out-of-the-box feature set is unmatched, but our cross-media experiences and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. If all of this comes off as wonderful to you, that's because it is! The metrics for compliance are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. The power to innovate interactively leads to the power to revolutionize proactively. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our iteration but our ability to incentivize. Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and XForms. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the abstraction of all-hands meetings. We usually implement subscriber-defined CAE. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiscal year's market! Your budget for engaging should be at least twice your budget for embracing. What does the standard industry buzzword "customer-defined R&D" really mean? Quick: do you have a integrated strategy for coping with unplanned-for relationships? We always revolutionize real-time super-B2C2B, revolutionary obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this quarter's financial state of things! Without Total Quality Management, you will lack communities. We believe we know that if you upgrade intuitively then you may also brand compellingly. We apply the proverb "Rome wasn't built in a day" not only to our ubiquitous convergence but our ability to innovate. Quick: do you have a synergistic strategy for managing emerging user interfaces? We will reintermediate the buzzword "infinitely reconfigurable". Quick: do you have a clicks-and-mortar plan for regulating emerging process management metrics?