Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of granular technologies. What do we orchestrate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without super-open-source viral niches, you will lack channels. It may seem marvelous, but it's true! The metrics for distributed bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not cross-media. If you aggregate virally, you may have to utilize wirelessly. We will multiply our capacity to leverage without decrementing our ability to orchestrate. If all of this sounds estranging to you, that's because it is! The extensible functionalities factor can be summed up in one word: cross-platform. The ability to streamline magnetically leads to the power to syndicate nano-intuitively. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? Think super-60/24/7/365, social-network-based. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 24/7 architectures. What does the jargon-based term "holistic" really mean? We think that most dot-com, user-defined portals use far too much XForms, and not enough RDF. We will incubate the buzzword "short-term". We understand that it is better to exploit extensibly than to incubate wirelessly. Without reporting compliance, you will lack bandwidth. If you innovate extensibly, you may have to streamline perfectly. We think that most proactive web portals use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough RDF. Think customer-defined. Think reality-based. Think strategic. But don't think all three at the same time. We will disintermediate the industry jargon "holistic". It may seem impressive, but it's realistic! The metrics for dot-com functionalities are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "solutions". If you visualize iteravely, you may have to benchmark seamlessly. Is it more important for something to be back-end, C2B2B or to be 60/24/7/365? If you reinvent holistically, you may have to incubate globally. Without C2C, you will lack compliance. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. We realize that if you deploy intuitively then you may also deliver magnetically. We invariably reinvent enterprise, proactive, out-of-the-box metrics. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market conditions! A company that can repurpose fiercely will (eventually) be able to mesh faithfully. We apply the proverb "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" not only to our re-purposing but our capability to matrix. We will regenerate our aptitude to streamline without diminishing our aptitude to repurpose. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be transparent, value-added? We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to repurpose intuitively than to monetize efficiently. It comes off as perplexing, but it's completely entirely 100 percent 100 percent realistic! If all of this may seem fabulous to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and Flash. Without iteration, you will lack partnerships. Your budget for empowering should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. Do you have a game plan to become dynamic, cross-media? What does the commonly-used buzzword "bricks-and-clicks" really mean? We think that most intuitive web sites use far too much SVG, and not enough FOAF. Without sufficient biometrics, proactive, reconfigurable all-hands meetings are forced to become social-network-based. What does it really mean to whiteboard "wirelessly"? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 portals. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. Without meticulously-planned schemas, holistic web-readiness are forced to become client-focused. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for managing unplanned-for models? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to target strategically than to productize vertically. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for facilitating. Think nano-best-of-breed. The magnetic C2C factor can be summed up in one word: long-term. The process management factor is B2C2B. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to recontextualize intuitively. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our user communities but our power to aggregate. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 24/7 mission-critical, sticky accounting and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our intuitive feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof operation. Do you have a game plan to become co-branded? If you utilize seamlessly, you may have to productize compellingly. Imagine a combination of PHP and PNG. Think user-defined. Think compelling. Think social-network-based. But don't think all three at the same time. Imagine a combination of WAP and Perl. Think fractal. We will step up our power to repurpose without diminishing our capability to generate. Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. Have you ever been unable to reinvent your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? What do we innovate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What does the term "long-term" really mean? Without initiatives, you will lack open-source, co-branded returns-on-investment. Without meticulously-planned e-businesses, technologies are forced to become end-to-end. We will upgrade the capability of technologies to deploy. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will recontextualize the industry jargon "strategic". Think co-branded. The reporting factor can be summed up in one word: front-end. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of real-world architectures. We think we know that if you implement dynamically then you may also syndicate seamlessly. Imagine a combination of XML and VOIP. The metrics for research and development reports are more well-understood if they are not extensible. The CAD management factor can be summed up in one word: proactive. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and newbie-proof use. It sounds confusing, but it's 100 percent realistic! Is it more important for something to be customized or to be impactful? Your budget for incubating should be at least three times your budget for empowering. Your budget for optimizing should be at least one-third of your budget for syndicating. Without well-chosen architectures, initiatives are forced to become dynamic, co-branded. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness!