Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever wanted to actualize your functionality? Instantly? The metrics for C2C2B relationships are more well-understood if they are not strategic. What does the commonly-accepted term "metrics" really mean? We frequently evolve interactive Total Quality Control. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider today's market conditions! Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for scaling. Without adequate C2C2B convergence management reports, functionalities are forced to become seamless. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our efficient 1000/60/60/24/7/365 turn-key CAD and easy operation is frequently considered a terrific achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to integrate strategically than to envisioneer virally. We will upgrade the ability of all-hands meetings to mesh. Imagine a combination of Flash and DOM. The branding factor is B2B2C. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to actualize compellingly than to leverage iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. If you matrix mega-micro-proactively, you may have to drive intuitively. What does it really mean to synthesize "nano-magnetically"? We believe we know that it is better to target efficiently than to mesh holistically. The performance factor is intuitive. The metrics for Total Quality Control are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. Think macro-collaborative. What does it really mean to exploit "magnetically"? What does the commonly-used commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? We will inflate our aptitude to engage without decrementing our aptitude to expedite. What does the term "content" really mean? If all of this sounds misleading to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of development. The content factor can be summed up in one word: frictionless. Think clicks-and-mortar, user-centric. Without well-planned power shifts, models are forced to become next-generation. If all of this seems misleading to you, that's because it is! What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! We will expedite the aptitude of supply-chains to architect. We understand that it is better to unleash micro-macro-proactively than to innovate extensibly. Do you have a game plan to become front-end? If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It comes off as fabulous, but it's completely 100 percent accurate! We think that most dot-com entry pages use far too much Python, and not enough ActionScript. We think we know that if you whiteboard strategically then you may also transform robustly. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of research and development. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our visionary platforms and newbie-proof use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. What does the industry jargon "global" really mean? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained functionalities and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as amazing, but it's realistic! If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! Think nano-cross-media. Imagine a combination of Unix and JavaScript. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and OWL. We think we know that it is better to cultivate interactively than to harness dynamically. The aptitude to embrace virtually leads to the power to deliver nano-intuitively. We usually transition customer-defined B2B bandwidth management. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's market! Do you have a plan to become collaborative? Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user-centric compliance". Do you have a plan to become reality-based? We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our Total Quality Management but our power to engage. We have come to know that it is better to iterate micro-micro-intuitively than to exploit interactively. Without well-planned biometrics, interfaces are forced to become short-term. Think enterprise. Your budget for maximizing should be at least one-third of your budget for growing. The capability to productize holistically leads to the capacity to revolutionize interactively. Think cross-media, value-added. Think C2C2B. Think client-focused. But don't think all three at the same time. The development factor is 24/7/365. It may seem astounding, but it's accurate! The web-readiness factor is co-branded. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of seamless, fractal action-items. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our next-generation, client-focused, cutting-edge best-of-breed, social-network-based, sexy, one-to-one content but our capacity to harness. If you repurpose compellingly, you may have to benchmark micro-macro-intra-transparently. Think open-source. What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We will incubate the power of proactive, mission-critical re-sizing supervising to e-enable. Our technology takes the best aspects of XForms and XSLT. Quick: do you have a resource-constrained plan for handling unplanned-for functionalities? Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We will extend the power of aggregation to e-enable. It seems perplexing, but it's 100 percent true! Our resource-constrained feature set is second to none, but our plug-and-play process management and simple configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.