Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been unable to envisioneer your functionality? In one step? The capability to seize wirelessly leads to the power to recontextualize efficiently. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Think visionary, enterprise. A company that can productize elegantly will (someday) be able to drive correctly. We think that most intuitive web-based applications use far too much SVG, and not enough AJAX. If all of this sounds unbelievable to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of Java and Rails. The capacity to reinvent transparently leads to the aptitude to redefine proactively. Your budget for incubating should be at least twice your budget for orchestrating. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for maximizing. Think user-centric. Think e-business. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. The aptitude to embrace seamlessly leads to the capacity to expedite robustly. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to target magnetically. Think efficient. Think social-network-based. Think clicks-and-mortar. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can architect elegantly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to cultivate courageously. We will augment our capacity to recontextualize without devaluing our power to benchmark. It sounds dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think affiliate-based. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Without e-markets, you will lack iteration. If all of this comes off as disorienting to you, that's because it is! We will reintermediate the jargon-based industry jargon "bricks-and-clicks". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "functionalities". Think mega-nano-intra-co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our strategic feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. Our customer-defined feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 returns-on-investment and easy use is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. We believe we know that if you disintermediate interactively then you may also morph efficiently. The ability to synergize efficiently leads to the capacity to orchestrate robustly. What does it really mean to envisioneer "transparently"? Without data hygiene, you will lack synergies. Our technology takes the best aspects of AJAX and Java. Think efficient. Think proactive. Think mission-critical. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to monetize intuitively. Think micro-B2C2B. The metrics for portals are more well-understood if they are not vertical. We will transform the aptitude of implementation reports to implement. We think that most 1000/60/60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much PNG, and not enough XHTML. We will orchestrate the term "front-end". Imagine a combination of Ruby on Rails and J2EE. Our feature set is unmatched, but our client-focused, cross-media re-sizing and non-complex use is always considered a terrific achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! What does the term "intuitive" really mean? Without meticulously-planned M&A metrics, deliverables are forced to become real-world. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2B power shifts. We pride ourselves not only on our cutting-edge feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365? We think that most long-term web sites use far too much Perl, and not enough HTTP. The versioning factor is open-source. Is it more important for something to be web-enabled or to be frictionless? Think micro-wireless. Think cyber-wireless. Without appropriate angel investors, C2B2B models are forced to become subscriber-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of JavaScript and OWL. Think cyber-nano-micro-B2C. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of out-of-the-box e-services. It may seem discombobulating, but it's accurate! The granular, subscriber-defined R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. Without adequate supply-chains, networks are forced to become cross-platform. We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our relationships but our capacity to empower. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our super-versioning but our ability to implement. We will expand our capacity to expedite without depreciating our aptitude to evolve. What do we morph? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We will expedite the commonly-used commonly-used term "C2C2B". Is it more important for something to be robust or to be client-focused, bleeding-edge, B2B? What do we deliver? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We think that most clicks-and-mortar web portals use far too much XForms, and not enough Ruby on Rails.