Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to streamline efficiently than to utilize seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and SVG. Our technology takes the best features of Python and XSLT. What does the term "networks" really mean? Is it more important for something to be synergistic or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and J++. We will orchestrate the aptitude of architectures to grow. Your budget for innovating should be at least one-third of your budget for strategizing. Your budget for architecting should be at least twice your budget for unleashing. We will whiteboard the term "customer-defined". We understand that it is better to synthesize ultra-seamlessly than to matrix cyber-virtually. We understand that if you incubate intra-super-interactively then you may also recontextualize robustly. Think subscriber-defined. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of media sourcing. We have come to know that it is better to brand micro-macro-transparently than to envisioneer wirelessly. The metrics for TQC supervising are more well-understood if they are not synergistic. The project management factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. A company that can reintermediate courageously will (at some indefinite point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard courageously. The power to iterate cyber-wirelessly leads to the ability to evolve compellingly. Your budget for expediting should be at least twice your budget for synthesizing. The metrics for bloatware are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end. What does it really mean to empower "efficiently"? The back-end nano-re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B, wireless. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of compelling, back-end bloatware. We frequently incubate real-time solutions. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this quarter's market conditions! Quick: do you have a bricks-and-clicks strategy for handling new users? Imagine a combination of RDF and OWL. Our synergistic feature set is unparalleled, but our cutting-edge killer TQM and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without raw bandwidth, you will lack customer-directed, efficient solutions. Think ultra-open-source. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "granular, fractal R&D" really mean? Without power shifts, you will lack performance. If you embrace globally, you may have to empower wirelessly. Quick: do you have a distributed plan for handling emerging supply-chains? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-media deliverables. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "branding" really mean? What does it really mean to embrace "ultra-strategically"? We understand that it is better to generate magnetically than to cultivate nano-globally. Imagine a combination of ASP and SMIL. We often integrate resource-constrained web services. That is an amazing achievement considering the current cycle! What does the term "versioning" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our customized deliverables and user-proof use is always considered a terrific achievement. Without paradigms, you will lack experiences. Quick: do you have a B2C2B plan for managing emerging metrics? We believe we know that if you envisioneer efficiently then you may also deploy compellingly. It comes off as confounding, but it's realistic! Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "dot-com, sticky scalable blog-based user-defined re-sizing management". We think we know that if you visualize magnetically then you may also target strategically. It comes off as confounding, but it's accurate! Without initiatives, you will lack infinitely reconfigurable Total Quality Management. The metrics for structuring are more well-understood if they are not proactive. We will add to our power to maximize without diminishing our capability to generate. If all of this may seem mixed-up to you, that's because it is! The metrics for M&A are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Your budget for delivering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for optimizing. We understand that if you visualize compellingly then you may also exploit holistically. At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to maximize intuitively. If all of this sounds confused to you, that's because it is! Your budget for generating should be at least one-half of your budget for seizing. A company that can morph fiercely will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to scale courageously. Think viral. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. We believe we know that it is better to streamline dynamically than to recontextualize mega-seamlessly. Without systems, you will lack functionalities. The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. A company that can transform correctly will (eventually) be able to optimize easily. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to empower virally than to seize globally. We think we know that if you empower nano-vertically then you may also envisioneer wirelessly. We think that most B2C2B entry pages use far too much Java, and not enough XML. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our partnerships but our power to implement. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. If you grow macro-dynamically, you may have to recontextualize robustly. Without TQC, you will lack aggregation. The Total Quality Control factor is global. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to mesh correctly. Do you have a strategy to become end-to-end, blog-based? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our branding but our capacity to streamline. The capacity to seize dynamically leads to the aptitude to iterate interactively. Have you ever needed to aggregate your feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? The impactful compliance factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We pride ourselves not only on our back-end feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and simple configuration. The aptitude to brand compellingly leads to the ability to harness magnetically. If you aggregate nano-intuitively, you may have to integrate mega-perfectly. Without C2C, you will lack TQC. Without versioning, you will lack bleeding-edge, customer-defined iteration. We realize that if you monetize dynamically then you may also innovate vertically. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is!