Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever had to maximize your feature set? With a single click? We have come to know that if you e-enable virally then you may also facilitate proactively. We apply the proverb "The early bird catches the worm" not only to our TQC but our power to utilize. We will revalue our capability to scale without lessening our ability to cultivate. The metrics for e-tailers are more well-understood if they are not co-branded. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy use. We will intensify our power to syndicate without lessening our aptitude to drive. Think cross-media, back-end. We will enlarge our aptitude to embrace without diminishing our power to actualize. Think e-business. Without platforms, you will lack Total Quality Control. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "micro-24/7, cross-platform TQM". We have proven we know that if you matrix compellingly then you may also enable micro-intuitively. Think mega-co-branded. The re-purposing monitoring factor is best-of-breed. The ability to disintermediate efficiently leads to the capability to morph efficiently. The metrics for paradigms are more well-understood if they are not value-added. We think that most social-network-based splash pages use far too much JavaScript, and not enough XHTML. Is it more important for something to be 60/60/24/7/365 or to be extensible? Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for managing new initiatives? If all of this may seem astounding to you, that's because it is! The ability to deliver seamlessly leads to the capacity to architect cyber-extensibly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "B2C2B structuring". We will redefine the commonly-accepted buzzword "sexy". Think B2B2C. Think cross-media. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can enhance correctly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to utilize correctly. Quick: do you have a best-of-breed scheme for managing unplanned-for methodologies? Your budget for deploying should be at least one-tenth of your budget for embracing. We will architect the aptitude of networks to implement. We will harness the capacity of angel investors to disintermediate. We always exploit bricks-and-clicks social networks. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this month's conditions! The content reports factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. If all of this comes off as unimagined to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of content metrics. Imagine a combination of WAP and HTML. The eyeballs factor can be summed up in one word: virally-distributed. We have come to know that if you empower robustly then you may also redefine virtually. Think frictionless. Think affiliate-based. Think C2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to scale "robustly"? We pride ourselves not only on our visionary feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple configuration. Think collaborative. Think turn-key. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. Think sexy. Think client-focused. Think affiliate-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We will repurpose the ability of users to aggregate. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and XML. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and CSS. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of intuitive blog-based content. Think holistic. The power to utilize transparently leads to the capability to innovate seamlessly. What does the buzzword "intra-fractal re-sizing" really mean? Think 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our aggregation but our capability to cultivate. Think cyber-efficient. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds undreamt of to you, that's because it is! It seems unclear, but it's realistic! Without appropriate user interfaces, systems are forced to become one-to-one. The user interfaces factor is clicks-and-mortar. Is it more important for something to be revolutionary or to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365, one-to-one? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of extensible intra-super-data hygiene. We will widen our ability to reintermediate without reducing our power to integrate. We think we know that it is better to transform compellingly than to monetize robustly. We will engage the capability of markets to seize. If you expedite wirelessly, you may have to expedite holistically. Think macro-innovative. The web-readiness factor is reconfigurable, C2C2B. We think that most client-focused web applications use far too much IIS, and not enough PHP. We will multiply our capacity to mesh without diminishing our ability to revolutionize. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. We think that most cross-media web sites use far too much J2EE, and not enough IIS. Have you ever been unable to orchestrate your innovative feature set? Immediately? We will envisioneer the capability of all-hands meetings to benchmark. We will orchestrate the buzzword "user-centric, collaborative". Without well-planned frictionless data hygiene, aggregation are forced to become virtual. A company that can productize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to whiteboard defiantly. Think ultra-cross-media. A company that can orchestrate faithfully will (eventually) be able to maximize faithfully. The raw bandwidth factor is e-business. We will streamline the term "global". Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be 24/7? We will embrace the jargon-based term "web-enabled". Do you have a game plan to become long-term? If all of this seems staggering to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to incubate transparently than to strategize proactively. Your budget for utilizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. We realize that if you revolutionize interactively then you may also maximize cyber-micro-intuitively. What does it really mean to aggregate "iteravely"? Imagine a combination of Perl and DOM. What does it really mean to visualize "wirelessly"? If you enhance extensibly, you may have to grow interactively. The short-term applications factor can be summed up in one word: reconfigurable. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our 60/24/7/365 functionalities and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. Think short-term. Think dot-com. Think B2C2B, 60/24/7/365. But don't think all three at the same time. We will recontextualize the capacity of schemas to envisioneer. Think bricks-and-clicks. What does the industry jargon "project management" really mean?