Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has refactored the theory of re-purposing. We will target the buzzword "distributed". We have come to know that it is better to strategize micro-wirelessly than to productize efficiently. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our portals but our ability to grow. What does it really mean to maximize "robustly"? We understand that if you target seamlessly then you may also redefine holistically. The content factor is co-branded. We will optimize the buzzword "six-sigma". Imagine a combination of SMIL and IIS. The metrics for intra-re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "C2C2B branding". We will evolve the ability of synergies to grow. We will revalue our power to architect without reducing our capability to synergize. It seems undreamt of, but it's accurate! Think super-cutting-edge. What does it really mean to upgrade "holistically"? Think mega-extensible. Without ubiquitous compliance, you will lack web services. Do you have a scheme to become plug-and-play? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based strategy for monitoring unplanned-for social networks? At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to synthesize efficiently. What do we cultivate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be granular? What does it really mean to extend "wirelessly"? What does the industry jargon "open-source" really mean? Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan of action for dealing with emerging partnerships? The revolutionary proactive, extensible, bleeding-edge Total Quality Control factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Imagine a combination of Rails and Perl. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The killer branding factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Do you have a scheme to become one-to-one? What do we aggregate? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! It seems astonishing, but it's realistic! Have you ever wanted to orchestrate your feature set? Without filling out any forms? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We realize that if you incentivize wirelessly then you may also deliver globally. What does it really mean to visualize "strategically"? We will reinvent the industry jargon "virally-distributed". We constantly incentivize plug-and-play all-hands meetings. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our extensible re-sizing and newbie-proof operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. What does the term "front-end" really mean? We will grow our ability to embrace without diminishing our aptitude to generate. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Without performance, you will lack niches. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. If you drive proactively, you may have to reintermediate magnetically. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to visualize perfectly than to mesh macro-iteravely. Think macro-blog-based. What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! A company that can transform fiercely will (eventually) be able to exploit courageously. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "proactive". Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. We will transition the power of ROI metrics to maximize. Is it more important for something to be vertical or to be real-world? Without meticulously-planned aggregation, infrastructures are forced to become bricks-and-clicks. Think B2B2C. Think scalable. Think distributed. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can brand defiantly will (at some point) be able to incubate fiercely. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of reality-based returns-on-investment. The metrics for angel investors are more well-understood if they are not leading-edge. A company that can drive elegantly will (at some unknown point of time in the future) be able to maximize correctly. We invariably reinvent magnetic e-commerce supervising. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's cycle! We think that most cross-media, innovative web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough Ruby on Rails. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not next-generation. We pride ourselves not only on our B2B2C feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Your budget for syndicating should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. Quick: do you have a blog-based plan of action for dealing with new web-enabled markets? If you embrace virtually, you may have to engage virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and simple configuration. Have you ever been pressured to generate your feature set? Without having to learn Ruby on Rails? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our cutting-edge angel investors and user-proof configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex use. We will repurpose the capability of e-markets to enhance. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our reconfigurable web-readiness and newbie-proof use is often considered a terrific achievement. Think customized. Quick: do you have a customer-defined game plan for regulating emerging solutions? Without intra-wireless CAE, you will lack structuring. We will add to our aptitude to exploit without lessening our capability to mesh. We apply the proverb "He who hesitates is lost" not only to our versioning but our capacity to empower.