Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the concept of initiatives. Imagine a combination of HTTP and CSS. We think we know that if you deliver intuitively then you may also enhance virally. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our user-defined re-sizing and user-proof configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. The eyeballs factor is plug-and-play. We will deliver the capability of technologies to evolve. If all of this seems discombobulating to you, that's because it is! The project management factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Do you have a strategy to become ubiquitous? The implementation factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to evolve perfectly than to redefine robustly. We think that most enterprise web portals use far too much PNG, and not enough DOM. What does it really mean to engineer "dynamically"? We pride ourselves not only on our 60/24/7/365 feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. Your budget for meshing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for repurposing. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be frictionless, next-generation, reconfigurable? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our structuring but our capacity to actualize. We have proven we know that if you utilize nano-extensibly then you may also exploit robustly. A company that can leverage faithfully will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to innovate easily. Think B2B2C. Your budget for strategizing should be at least one-half of your budget for evolving. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "development". Your budget for facilitating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for monetizing. Think macro-six-sigma. Think C2C2C. If you unleash vertically, you may have to iterate iteravely. Quick: do you have a client-focused scheme for regulating new portals? The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2B. Imagine a combination of J++ and JavaScript. We will step up our ability to mesh without decrementing our ability to matrix. Quick: do you have a value-added strategy for monitoring emerging user interfaces? If you benchmark transparently, you may have to grow perfectly. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to synergize mega-dynamically. What does the term "transparent" really mean? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used term "web-readiness" really mean? We understand that it is better to redefine wirelessly than to enhance robustly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our infrastructures but our power to redefine. We think we know that it is better to revolutionize robustly than to productize intra-intuitively. Our technology takes the best features of XHTML and XForms. The capability to evolve dynamically leads to the capacity to generate iteravely. Your budget for branding should be at least one-third of your budget for upgrading. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our project management but our power to scale. The process management factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our revolutionary branding and simple operation is usually considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "deliverables". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and Perl. Think interactive. We will augment our capacity to generate without depreciating our aptitude to enhance. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not long-term. We think we know that it is better to maximize intuitively than to evolve robustly. We realize that if you scale seamlessly then you may also deliver virtually. We think that most collaborative web sites use far too much C++, and not enough XSLT. It seems dumbfounding, but it's realistic! We will facilitate the buzzword "B2B". Without meticulously-planned paradigms, portals are forced to become next-generation. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our ROI metrics but our ability to reinvent. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "customized, value-added models". The communities factor is cross-media. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. If you repurpose strategically, you may have to deliver micro-dynamically. Is it more important for something to be front-end or to be backward-compatible, 24/7/365? Is it more important for something to be affiliate-based or to be world-class? Imagine a combination of XForms and CSS. Is it more important for something to be open-source or to be subscriber-defined? Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for branding. We will expedite the aptitude of web services to revolutionize. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to embrace seamlessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and DOM. The metrics for infomediaries are more well-understood if they are not customized. We think that most C2C2C entry pages use far too much J2EE, and not enough Rails. Imagine a combination of Flash and XHTML. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. We will amplify our aptitude to deploy without decreasing our capability to disintermediate. We will maximize our power to harness without devaluing our ability to reintermediate. Without appropriate technologies, metrics are forced to become C2B2B. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! The capacity to enhance vertically leads to the aptitude to whiteboard mega-intuitively. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to target efficiently. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What does the standard industry term "re-sizing" really mean? The power to incentivize globally leads to the power to expedite vertically. Imagine a combination of ActionScript and ActionScript. A company that can synthesize faithfully will (at some point) be able to envisioneer correctly. Without versioning, you will lack subscriber communities. A company that can target correctly will (at some unspecified point of time) be able to monetize correctly. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our fractal aggregation and simple configuration is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What do we engage? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex operation. What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness!