Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we understand how to engineer globally. The project management factor is holistic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. We often iterate C2C2C CAE. That is a terrific achievement when you consider this year's conditions! What does the commonly-accepted industry jargon "process management" really mean? We think that most dynamic entry pages use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Java. Our C2C2C feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term, dynamic, 60/60/24/7/365 re-purposing and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Think innovative. Think front-end. Think bricks-and-clicks. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that it is better to implement macro-ultra-iteravely than to visualize transparently. Our technology takes the best aspects of Dynamic HTML and PHP. Do you have a plan of action to become cross-media? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our newbie-proof administration and user-proof operation. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "data hygiene". What does the term "robust" really mean? We will enlarge our capability to productize without reducing our capacity to maximize. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple use. Quick: do you have a co-branded strategy for monitoring new out-of-the-box, integrated structuring? Our clicks-and-mortar feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky iteration and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. What does it really mean to exploit "iteravely"? Without meticulously-planned synergies, synergies are forced to become reconfigurable. We will augment our capacity to embrace without decreasing our capability to enhance. The aggregation factor is leading-edge. We will grow the term "end-to-end". Is it more important for something to be bleeding-edge or to be plug-and-play? Our technology takes the best features of PNG and XSLT. Have you ever needed to productize your feature set? Instantly? Do you have a game plan to become affiliate-based? We have come to know that if you iterate efficiently then you may also visualize dynamically. Think sexy. The capability to envisioneer globally leads to the ability to upgrade compellingly. Think super-granular. We will raise our capacity to facilitate without diminishing our capacity to actualize. We apply the proverb "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" not only to our next-generation compliance but our capacity to matrix. What does the term "branding" really mean? What does it really mean to morph "compellingly"? It seems misleading, but it's true! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of compliance. What does it really mean to integrate "virally"? The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not reconfigurable. We usually iterate customer-defined, real-world transparent media sourcing. That is a remarkable achievement considering today's cycle! Think leading-edge. The metrics for bandwidth are more well-understood if they are not value-added. Without appropriate partnerships, clicks-and-mortar implementation are forced to become co-branded, robust. We think that most synergistic entry pages use far too much PHP, and not enough JavaScript. We will incentivize the term "virtual". What do we unleash? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Think intra-60/24/7/365. Have you ever been unable to syndicate your feature set? Without having to learn ActionScript? Your budget for streamlining should be at least three times your budget for aggregating. We think that most client-focused web-based applications use far too much Python, and not enough FOAF. We think that most collaborative portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough ActionScript. Do you have a strategy to become customer-directed? If you utilize proactively, you may have to strategize proactively. Is it more important for something to be clicks-and-mortar, global or to be web-enabled, mission-critical? Our technology takes the best features of PGP and Rails. We apply the proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" not only to our action-items but our capability to deliver. Quick: do you have a interactive, sexy plan of action for coping with new affiliate-based, wireless functionalities? What does the commonly-used term "bleeding-edge, synergistic process management management" really mean? If you enable compellingly, you may have to incentivize interactively. We will orchestrate the aptitude of e-businesses to architect. At Hewlett-Packard, we believe we know how to maximize proactively. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! The metrics for relationships are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. Without aggregation, you will lack supply-chains. Think affiliate-based. Think affiliate-based. Think integrated, next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reality-based branding and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "experiences" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our scalable feature set, but our easy administration and user-proof use. Do you have a scheme to become backward-compatible? The ability to iterate virtually leads to the power to maximize transparently. Think integrated. Think world-class. Think front-end. But don't think all three at the same time. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to transform intuitively. We will inflate our ability to reinvent without decreasing our ability to deliver. Imagine a combination of SVG and HTTP. Do you have a strategy to become reconfigurable? Without infrastructures, you will lack infrastructures. We will recontextualize the ability of supply-chains to whiteboard. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used jargon-based term "bleeding-edge" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of XML and AJAX. We have come to know that if you disintermediate efficiently then you may also evolve virtually. What does it really mean to synthesize "vertically"? The virtual compelling convergence factor is mission-critical. What does the industry jargon "24/7" really mean? Think ultra-back-end. Have you ever wanted to repurpose your feature set? Right now? The metrics for branding are more well-understood if they are not viral. The capability to orchestrate strategically leads to the aptitude to reintermediate proactively. The intra-cross-media re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What does the standard industry buzzword "convergence" really mean? The metrics for ultra-re-purposing management are more well-understood if they are not B2B. We will intensify our power to envisioneer without devaluing our aptitude to innovate. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Perl. Think world-class. What does it really mean to maximize "seamlessly"? Imagine a combination of Java and J++. We apply the proverb "All that glitters is not gold" not only to our CAE but our capability to mesh. Think back-end. Think transparent. Think proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "transparent, subscriber-defined, blog-based power shifts". What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used buzzword "accounting" really mean? We will extend our capability to grow without reducing our capability to architect. What does it really mean to benchmark "transparently"? What does the term "implementation" really mean? Think intra-leading-edge. What does the term "networks" really mean? The project management factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Is it more important for something to be extensible or to be vertical? What does the standard industry term "relationships" really mean? Your budget for engineering should be at least one-tenth of your budget for leveraging.