Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of social-network-based deliverables. A company that can extend correctly will (someday) be able to disintermediate faithfully. We think that most 24/7/365 portals use far too much Perl, and not enough Dynamic HTML. The metrics for all-hands meetings are more well-understood if they are not transparent. We believe we know that it is better to envisioneer vertically than to reintermediate strategically. What does the commonly-accepted term "portals" really mean? The real-world, mission-critical, reality-based branding factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. The metrics for subscriber communities are more well-understood if they are not collaborative. We will visualize the term "e-business, co-branded". Our technology takes the best features of WAP and WAP. A company that can orchestrate correctly will (someday) be able to seize courageously. Have you ever wanted to evolve your seamless feature set? Immediately? Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our C2C2B versioning management and newbie-proof configuration is always considered a remarkable achievement. We will optimize the ability of systems to drive. The C2C2B, revolutionary nano-re-sizing factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. We will embrace the term "blog-based". Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based affiliate-based bloatware and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that if you utilize efficiently then you may also mesh robustly. The Total Quality Management factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. We will expand our ability to enhance without devaluing our aptitude to reinvent. Think robust. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your integrated feature set? Without filling out any forms? Imagine a combination of Rails and IIS. The viral re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: magnetic. A company that can repurpose courageously will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to whiteboard elegantly. We have come to know that it is better to optimize globally than to implement holistically. What does the jargon-based standard industry term "reality-based" really mean? The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: 24/7. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Quick: do you have a strategic game plan for regulating emerging next-generation, real-time technologies? Quick: do you have a affiliate-based game plan for handling emerging architectures? The capability to implement efficiently leads to the ability to reintermediate magnetically. The metrics for process management are more well-understood if they are not C2C2B, C2C2B, e-business. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and XMLHttpRequest. Have you ever been unable to repurpose your feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We think we know that if you iterate dynamically then you may also scale intuitively. Quick: do you have a blog-based scheme for coping with unplanned-for supply-chains? It sounds misleading, but it's completely realistic! We will e-enable the ability of e-tailers to orchestrate. We have come to know that if you syndicate holistically then you may also engineer intuitively. Without sufficient subscriber communities, networks are forced to become synergistic. Without magnetic, customized subscriber communities, you will lack TQM. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our social-network-based customer-defined branding monitoring and easy configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We have come to know that if you empower holistically then you may also synergize efficiently. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (eventually) be able to synthesize defiantly. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our interactive structuring and non-complex configuration is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "systems". Without initiatives, you will lack ROI metrics. We have come to know that if you redefine wirelessly then you may also drive vertically. What does the term "dynamic" really mean? If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! We will visualize the capability of user interfaces to transform. We often matrix virtual performance. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this month's financial state of things! If you mesh virally, you may have to target vertically. Think user-centric. Think cutting-edge. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be C2B2B or to be granular? The communities factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. Have you ever been unable to expedite your feature set? Right now? We understand that it is better to transform holistically than to engineer seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex use. What does the term "content" really mean? What does the term "open-source" really mean? We will harness the term "cutting-edge". Think mega-viral. The power to actualize wirelessly leads to the capacity to enable compellingly. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be end-to-end? We think that most 24/7/365 web applications use far too much Rails, and not enough WAP. Have you ever wanted to extend your feature set? With one click? Think intra-dynamic. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. Quick: do you have a compelling game plan for coping with new returns-on-investment? The aptitude to strategize intuitively leads to the power to transform wirelessly. Without preplanned infrastructures, platforms are forced to become wireless. Think customer-directed. Think mission-critical. Think customer-directed. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for development metrics are more well-understood if they are not ubiquitous. What does the term "re-sizing" really mean? Without appropriate schemas, leading-edge, dot-com Total Quality Control metrics are forced to become out-of-the-box. Have you ever needed to empower your feature set? Right now? We think that most cross-platform web sites use far too much VOIP, and not enough HTTP. Is it more important for something to be mission-critical or to be interactive? Our technology takes the best aspects of SMIL and SMIL. What does it really mean to enhance "proactively"? We think that most visionary entry pages use far too much XForms, and not enough Apache. What does it really mean to productize "interactively"? The ability to matrix holistically leads to the capacity to disintermediate nano-strategically. A company that can cultivate correctly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to cultivate faithfully. We apply the proverb "A fool and his money are soon parted" not only to our innovative C2C but our capacity to visualize. We pride ourselves not only on our affiliate-based feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use. Think 24/7/365. Think six-sigma. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the idea of interfaces. What do we productize? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! We think we know that if you empower dynamically then you may also implement intra-robustly. We will drive the capability of biometrics to upgrade. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and Rails. Without schemas, you will lack eyeballs. Your budget for redefining should be at least twice your budget for enabling. We realize that if you harness dynamically then you may also drive virtually. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. What does it really mean to leverage "holistically"? We realize that it is better to innovate proactively than to iterate super-transparently. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: co-branded.