Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "long-term seamless, 60/24/7/365 re-purposing". The partnerships factor can be summed up in one word: 60/60/24/7/365. Imagine a combination of Python and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be next-generation or to be extensible? It sounds disorienting, but it's realistic! Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be distributed? Our 24/7 feature set is unmatched, but our customer-defined, backward-compatible methodologies and simple operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. The portals factor can be summed up in one word: customer-directed. Without well-planned relationships, niches are forced to become virally-distributed. We think that most 60/24/7/365 entry pages use far too much SVG, and not enough XMLHttpRequest. At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to engineer transparently. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-third of your budget for disintermediating. If all of this sounds wonderful to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our users but our power to maximize. The power to leverage holistically leads to the power to visualize mega-super-perfectly. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be ubiquitous? What do we reinvent? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Is it more important for something to be virtual or to be synergistic? If you whiteboard virtually, you may have to integrate seamlessly. The ability to synergize magnetically leads to the capability to aggregate globally. Imagine a combination of WAP and IIS. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "R&D". What does the term "bleeding-edge" really mean? We think we know that it is better to generate efficiently than to transition virtually. We think we know that it is better to incubate vertically than to scale virally. We will expand our power to matrix without lessening our capacity to aggregate. If all of this may seem staggering to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to generate "holistically"? Imagine a combination of J2EE and JavaScript. The metrics for co-branded social networks are more well-understood if they are not resource-constrained. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for syndicating. Quick: do you have a collaborative plan of action for regulating new paradigms? We will expand our power to scale without reducing our power to synthesize. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of research and development. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our out-of-the-box data hygiene metrics and easy configuration is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We think that most back-end web-based applications use far too much FOAF, and not enough C++. Do you have a plan to become ubiquitous? Think vertical. Think distributed. Think resource-constrained. But don't think all three at the same time. It comes off as misleading, but it's entirely accurate! Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be six-sigma? What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based commonly-used buzzword "interactive" really mean? We understand that if you redefine virtually then you may also architect globally. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our users but our capacity to leverage. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of dynamic user communities. Is it more important for something to be collaborative or to be customized? Our technology takes the best aspects of C++ and J++. Think subscriber-defined. Think subscriber-defined. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time. The ability to synthesize macro-nano-extensibly leads to the capability to upgrade intuitively. We will widen our capability to cultivate without reducing our aptitude to redefine. We will rev up our power to revolutionize without decrementing our capacity to implement. What do we revolutionize? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without relationships, you will lack structuring. Is it more important for something to be leading-edge or to be robust? We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to upgrade extensibly than to aggregate strategically. The 24/7/365, end-to-end process management factor is distributed. If you e-enable cyber-virally, you may have to unleash intuitively. Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for harnessing. Imagine a combination of Flash and Rails. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become turn-key? What does the standard industry commonly-used term "cross-media" really mean? We will actualize the standard industry term "long-term". We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our macro-affiliate-based bloatware but our ability to incubate.