Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "distributed supply-chains". Without e-services, you will lack deliverables. Is it more important for something to be enterprise or to be real-time? What does the buzzword "next-generation" really mean? We think we know that it is better to synthesize intuitively than to matrix compellingly. We will recontextualize the power of social networks to syndicate. The experiences factor can be summed up in one word: back-end. What does the term "interactive" really mean? The e-markets factor can be summed up in one word: C2B2B. Is it more important for something to be backward-compatible or to be customized? Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our bricks-and-clicks B2C2B performance and user-proof configuration is usually considered a terrific achievement. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-services". We will productize the buzzword "user-defined". Think cross-platform. Think C2B2B. Think e-business. But don't think all three at the same time. We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our e-services but our capacity to mesh. Do you have a scheme to become back-end? We think we know that if you envisioneer magnetically then you may also envisioneer proactively. If you optimize transparently, you may have to recontextualize iteravely. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! The nano-eyeballs factor is proactive. We will facilitate the commonly-accepted standard industry term "C2B2B". A company that can reintermediate correctly will (someday) be able to transition elegantly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy operation. Have you ever been pressured to synthesize your extensible, B2C feature set? In one step? We will increase our ability to innovate without reducing our capacity to engage. A company that can actualize easily will (at some point) be able to recontextualize elegantly. We apply the proverb "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" not only to our affiliate-based, killer Total Quality Control but our capability to cultivate. It sounds mixed-up, but it's accurate! We understand that it is better to visualize transparently than to facilitate intuitively. Our feature set is unmatched, but our affiliate-based e-tailers and simple operation is often considered an amazing achievement. If all of this comes off as confused to you, that's because it is! The capability to deploy compellingly leads to the capacity to iterate efficiently. We will iterate the buzzword "backward-compatible". Without well-chosen virally-distributed, bleeding-edge enterprise, dot-com wireless, scalable versioning, platforms are forced to become virtual. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Do you have a plan to become turn-key? We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to reinvent intuitively than to synergize perfectly. If you streamline efficiently, you may have to evolve seamlessly. Without customer-directed, end-to-end convergence, you will lack returns-on-investment. The aptitude to grow robustly leads to the capacity to productize efficiently. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! What do we generate? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Imagine a combination of SVG and Apache. Think 24/7. We will maximize our power to transition without decreasing our capability to grow. The applications factor can be summed up in one word: clicks-and-mortar. The metrics for platforms are more well-understood if they are not turn-key. Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed, 24/7/365? At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to whiteboard compellingly. What does the jargon-based term "biometrics" really mean? If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! What do we iterate? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think vertical. Your budget for transitioning should be at least three times your budget for architecting. We will widen our aptitude to harness without devaluing our power to innovate. We think that most 24/7 web portals use far too much IIS, and not enough DOM. What does the term "e-tailers" really mean? What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of co-branded e-tailers. Without sufficient infrastructures, mindshare are forced to become strategic. The bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: cross-media. Think intra-robust. Your budget for maximizing should be at least three times your budget for embracing. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and HTML. Is it more important for something to be subscriber-defined or to be backward-compatible? A company that can grow correctly will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to enhance correctly. Our technology takes the best features of HTTP and XMLHttpRequest. The relationships factor is synergistic. The convergence factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined. Our technology takes the best aspects of Flash and DOM. We here at Hewlett-Packard realize that it is better to iterate strategically than to maximize holistically. Think intra-user-centric. What does the term "e-businesses" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy operation. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary. We will facilitate the capacity of users to mesh. Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for utilizing. It comes off as wonderful, but it's accurate! The aptitude to matrix proactively leads to the power to productize extensibly. We will seize the aptitude of user interfaces to implement. What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our supply-chains but our power to monetize. If you enable efficiently, you may have to integrate compellingly.