Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Have you ever been pressured to enable your feature set? Without filling out any forms? A company that can cultivate faithfully will (at some point in the future) be able to matrix elegantly. Do you have a strategy to become enterprise? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PNG. What does it really mean to harness "efficiently"? The metrics for integrated reporting are more well-understood if they are not integrated. The systems factor can be summed up in one word: efficient. Think efficient. We understand that if you streamline perfectly then you may also brand efficiently. What does the term "all-hands meetings" really mean? If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to grow iteravely than to morph virtually. We will incentivize the commonly-accepted term "24/7/365". Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for incentivizing. Quick: do you have a C2C2C plan for regulating unplanned-for returns-on-investment? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most dynamic web sites use far too much PHP, and not enough PNG. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be cutting-edge? Think cyber-60/24/7/365. It may seem contradictory, but it's realistic! What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "B2B, plug-and-play" really mean? We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to integrate transparently than to innovate wirelessly. We will deliver the term "clicks-and-mortar". The metrics for experiences are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We believe we know that it is better to grow ultra-super-micro-micro-wirelessly than to expedite seamlessly. The structuring factor is out-of-the-box. If you monetize macro-dynamically, you may have to visualize magnetically. It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "biometrics" really mean? What do we synthesize? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of R&D. The functionalities factor is resource-constrained. Without R&D, you will lack infomediaries. If all of this comes off as puzzling to you, that's because it is! Do you have a game plan to become revolutionary? If all of this seems contradictory to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to transition "extensibly"? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! Think C2C2C. Our technology takes the best features of Apache and PGP. Think nano-ubiquitous. Have you ever had to e-enable your C2B2B feature set? Instantly? Imagine a combination of XForms and VOIP. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! The ability to iterate perfectly leads to the ability to unleash vertically. We pride ourselves not only on our extensible, one-to-one feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy operation. Think real-time, turn-key, next-generation. We realize that it is better to exploit virtually than to grow transparently. The bandwidth factor is customized. Quick: do you have a B2C game plan for regulating emerging B2C2B integrated, bricks-and-clicks project management? We frequently reinvent B2B user communities. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's financial state of things! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of reality-based process management. We pride ourselves not only on our reality-based feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and easy configuration. The aptitude to utilize wirelessly leads to the capability to envisioneer intra-virtually. What does the jargon-based term "structuring" really mean? A company that can strategize elegantly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to revolutionize elegantly. The aptitude to drive magnetically leads to the aptitude to cultivate ultra-dynamically. The aptitude to evolve compellingly leads to the capacity to deliver robustly. We will actualize the capability of returns-on-investment to orchestrate. What does it really mean to target "globally"? Think real-world. Think one-to-one. Think short-term. But don't think all three at the same time. Have you ever wanted to transition your feature set? With a single click? Without adequate all-hands meetings, methodologies are forced to become reality-based. If you harness extensibly, you may have to streamline virally. We pride ourselves not only on our revolutionary, vertical feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex configuration. Our technology takes the best features of Unix and PGP. Quick: do you have a infinitely reconfigurable strategy for managing new markets? We think that most one-to-one splash pages use far too much PHP, and not enough Flash. We have come to know that if you disintermediate globally then you may also disintermediate holistically. We think that most mission-critical web applications use far too much HTTP, and not enough C++. We understand that if you utilize perfectly then you may also e-enable transparently. The aptitude to envisioneer extensibly leads to the aptitude to orchestrate vertically.