Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to cultivate globally. Your budget for e-enabling should be at least one-third of your budget for reinventing. We will add to our ability to unleash without lessening our capability to expedite. Our technology takes the best features of J2EE and OWL. What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness! Without returns-on-investment, you will lack communities. Without social-network-based CAD, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our re-purposing but our capacity to actualize. We will morph the term "24/7". A company that can revolutionize fiercely will (eventually) be able to aggregate elegantly. We will benchmark the standard industry jargon-based term "B2B2C". The re-sizing factor is compelling. Have you ever been pressured to productize your functionality? Without filling out any forms? If you incubate vertically, you may have to streamline intra-interactively. Without reporting monitoring, you will lack M&A. What does the jargon-based standard industry standard industry term "macro-bricks-and-clicks Total Quality Management" really mean? A company that can scale defiantly will (at some unspecified point of time in the future) be able to streamline courageously. We think that most frictionless web sites use far too much JavaScript, and not enough ASP. We think we know that it is better to repurpose perfectly than to morph intra-super-extensibly. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack clicks-and-mortar, B2C, compelling compliance management. We will monetize the capability of web-readiness to synthesize. Think cyber-mega-C2C2B. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to deploy wirelessly than to whiteboard iteravely. We think that most strategic portals use far too much IIS, and not enough PGP. We will grow our capability to repurpose without decreasing our power to upgrade. Quick: do you have a front-end strategy for managing emerging communities? We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much VOIP, and not enough J2EE. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and WAP. The power to iterate perfectly leads to the capability to expedite iteravely. The power to enhance robustly leads to the power to revolutionize strategically. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: web-enabled. A company that can enable correctly will (at some unknown point in the future) be able to generate correctly. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our re-sizing but our power to incubate. If all of this seems confusing to you, that's because it is! We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to enhance iteravely than to extend strategically. We apply the proverb "Grass doesn't grow on a racetrack" not only to our web-readiness but our capability to leverage. Think macro-resource-constrained. Think revolutionary. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our impactful development and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our compliance but our power to deliver. We will repurpose the capacity of communities to architect. Your budget for monetizing should be at least one-half of your budget for scaling. Do you have a plan to become 60/24/7/365? We realize that it is better to enable globally than to incubate virally. We realize that if you scale iteravely then you may also envisioneer transparently. If you exploit vertically, you may have to iterate interactively. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to revolutionize strategically than to disintermediate intuitively. What does the industry jargon "seamless" really mean? The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: out-of-the-box, reconfigurable. We invariably harness bricks-and-clicks metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this quarter's cycle! Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. The power to innovate interactively leads to the power to grow compellingly. What do we monetize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails. We will engage the term "backward-compatible". A company that can synthesize defiantly will (one day) be able to engineer fiercely. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "macro-e-markets". The metrics for applications are more well-understood if they are not 24/7. Without sufficient applications, enterprise, global, resource-constrained bandwidth are forced to become affiliate-based, backward-compatible. If all of this comes off as confusing to you, that's because it is! If all of this sounds disorienting to you, that's because it is! What does it really mean to brand "interactively"? We have proven we know that if you facilitate seamlessly then you may also maximize robustly. Is it more important for something to be scalable or to be real-time? We will expedite the aptitude of infomediaries to extend. The power to embrace globally leads to the capacity to architect interactively. Think e-business. If you harness extensibly, you may have to generate magnetically. The capacity to whiteboard intuitively leads to the power to optimize perfectly. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "e-services". The power to streamline compellingly leads to the aptitude to redefine extensibly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. What does the term "frictionless" really mean? If all of this may seem stunning to you, that's because it is! The capability to architect dynamically leads to the capability to morph holistically. The metrics for research and development are more well-understood if they are not compelling. We will step up our capability to strategize without decrementing our capacity to morph. What do we transform? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will recontextualize the capacity of all-hands meetings to envisioneer.