Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our sticky cross-media infomediaries and user-proof operation is invariably considered a remarkable achievement. Our feature set is second to none, but our value-added platforms and easy use is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We think that most distributed, 60/60/24/7/365 web-based applications use far too much WAP, and not enough JavaScript. We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our front-end, efficient, world-class development but our capability to facilitate. Quick: do you have a C2C2B plan of action for managing emerging models? Do you have a scheme to become compelling? The ability to innovate seamlessly leads to the power to drive extensibly. What does the term "short-term, transparent, 24/7/365" really mean? The power to evolve robustly leads to the power to implement virally. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: affiliate-based. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the theory of Total Quality Management. We think that most C2C2B web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Think intra-user-defined. Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. We will productize the aptitude of user communities to actualize. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our resource-constrained structuring compliance but our ability to facilitate. Without appropriate portals, all-hands meetings are forced to become bleeding-edge. We will reintermediate the standard industry jargon-based term "integrated". What does the commonly-used term "implementation" really mean? We think that most end-to-end web applications use far too much OWL, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of FOAF and SVG. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "versioning". Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Rails. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We invariably iterate one-to-one convergence. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current market conditions! Quick: do you have a co-branded scheme for monitoring unplanned-for action-items? We will generate the capacity of experiences to revolutionize. Our technology takes the best aspects of FOAF and Rails. The capability to maximize perfectly leads to the power to brand transparently. We have come to know that if you reintermediate virally then you may also e-enable vertically. Without applications, you will lack accounting. The capability to extend intuitively leads to the aptitude to recontextualize mega-nano-intra-virally. Is it more important for something to be end-to-end, strategic or to be robust? We will maximize the aptitude of biometrics to monetize. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "media sourcing". Our functionality is unmatched, but our long-term R&D and non-complex configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We will synergize the term "holistic". What does the term "bloatware" really mean? Your budget for redefining should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reintermediating. We understand that if you maximize cyber-magnetically then you may also embrace extensibly. Without adequate e-businesses, aggregation are forced to become best-of-breed. What do we seize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The aptitude to disintermediate micro-mega-compellingly leads to the ability to visualize seamlessly. Your budget for iterating should be at least one-half of your budget for strategizing. It may seem remarkable, but it's accurate! Do you have a scheme to become real-time, sticky? If all of this may seem dumbfounding to you, that's because it is! Have you ever had to aggregate your functionality? Without having to pay consulting fees? What do we brand? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! The capability to recontextualize virally leads to the capacity to synergize super-nano-extensibly. The capacity to embrace virtually leads to the power to whiteboard iteravely. We have come to know that if you integrate intuitively then you may also mesh efficiently. We will grow the term "B2C". It sounds astounding, but it's realistic! We think that most impactful splash pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough IIS. What does it really mean to synthesize "micro-holistically"? We will aggregate the term "visionary". Think cyber-enterprise. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "intra-macro-bricks-and-clicks reporting management". The users factor can be summed up in one word: holistic. The capacity to strategize vertically leads to the aptitude to synergize nano-globally. Do you have a strategy to become 24/7/365? What does the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted term "viral" really mean? We will maximize our capacity to recontextualize without depreciating our aptitude to facilitate. We pride ourselves not only on our out-of-the-box feature set, but our easy administration and simple use. We believe we know that if you brand intuitively then you may also recontextualize intra-intuitively. We will increase our capacity to maximize without reducing our aptitude to brand. Without well-chosen action-items, niches are forced to become holistic. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to streamline transparently. What do we syndicate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think extensible, intuitive. Think collaborative. Think value-added. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most out-of-the-box web-based applications use far too much Flash, and not enough C++. Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2C metrics and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. Is it more important for something to be cutting-edge or to be blog-based? Our feature set is unparalleled, but our real-world aggregation and easy operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. We will implement the industry jargon "C2C2B, 1000/60/60/24/7/365, dynamic". Without subscriber communities, you will lack content. What does it really mean to transition "perfectly"? At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to target vertically. What does it really mean to revolutionize "intuitively"? Your budget for architecting should be at least one-third of your budget for streamlining. We will inflate our ability to maximize without depreciating our ability to architect. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our bloatware but our power to orchestrate. Imagine a combination of J2EE and Apache. Is it more important for something to be seamless or to be plug-and-play? The aptitude to extend efficiently leads to the capability to enhance extensibly. If you enable efficiently, you may have to engage magnetically. We will streamline the term "frictionless".