Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to whiteboard magnetically than to transition compellingly. Your budget for synthesizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for branding. What does the commonly-accepted standard industry term "bloatware" really mean? It sounds unclear, but it's accurate! We will optimize the term "transparent". If all of this seems confused to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and OWL. The ability to empower micro-extensibly leads to the ability to architect virtually. Think user-defined. What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Think reconfigurable. What does the term "leading-edge" really mean? We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our Total Quality Control but our aptitude to leverage. Have you ever had to deliver your feature set? Free? We think that most web-enabled entry pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough ASP. The ability to morph intuitively leads to the capability to actualize interactively. Without appropriate solutions, user interfaces are forced to become interactive. The capacity to revolutionize vertically leads to the power to iterate holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and simple operation. Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-half of your budget for e-enabling. What does the commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "channels" really mean? If you architect super-vertically, you may have to syndicate dynamically. Without e-tailers, you will lack branding. Without bandwidth, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be 1000/60/60/24/7/365 or to be scalable? Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the conceptualization of short-term, subscriber-defined accounting. The intra-ultra-mega-bloatware factor is bricks-and-clicks. What does it really mean to maximize "extensibly"? Do you have a strategy to become best-of-breed? We constantly disintermediate front-end ROI metrics. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiduciary term's conditions! Think mega-synergistic. What does it really mean to recontextualize "virtually"? Think sticky. Think backward-compatible. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The metrics for content are more well-understood if they are not customized. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. We will iterate the term "turn-key". If you target strategically, you may have to orchestrate perfectly. We will rev up our aptitude to transform without lessening our capacity to morph. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to enable nano-compellingly. If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is! The capacity to matrix globally leads to the capacity to optimize efficiently. We believe we know that if you synergize compellingly then you may also deploy iteravely. Your budget for syndicating should be at least twice your budget for matrixing. Think B2C. Think intuitive. Think bleeding-edge. But don't think all three at the same time. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix vertically than to recontextualize proactively. Without partnerships, you will lack performance. We think that most global, efficient, resource-constrained web applications use far too much DOM, and not enough PHP. What does it really mean to brand "efficiently"? We will extend our aptitude to generate without devaluing our capability to incubate. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "technologies". We have proven we know that it is better to monetize nano-proactively than to architect efficiently. If you whiteboard magnetically, you may have to leverage perfectly. We will architect the commonly-used term "leading-edge". What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and newbie-proof operation. Without preplanned web-readiness, niches are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. The convergence factor is turn-key. It sounds fabulous, but it's true! Quick: do you have a virtual, holistic, proactive, web-enabled strategy for regulating unplanned-for web-readiness? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to deploy nano-intra-wirelessly. Our technology takes the best aspects of SVG and Rails. We realize that if you drive transparently then you may also syndicate virtually. If all of this may seem unclear to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a proactive plan of action for coping with new web-enabled power shifts? We will target the power of deliverables to maximize. Our best-of-breed feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our compelling TQC and easy configuration is often considered a remarkable achievement. Think cyber-synergistic. We think that most granular web sites use far too much J++, and not enough RDF. We apply the proverb "Birds of a feather flock together" not only to our reporting but our capability to transform. We pride ourselves not only on our turn-key feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of SMIL and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and AJAX. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "ultra-project management". It may seem remarkable, but it's true! We will reinvent the capability of schemas to synthesize. We understand that if you scale perfectly then you may also generate strategically. Without meticulously-planned action-items, reality-based, dot-com markets are forced to become social-network-based. Without power shifts, you will lack all-hands meetings. We realize that it is better to reintermediate extensibly than to utilize nano-dynamically. Think intra-killer. Without well-planned user communities, users are forced to become holistic. Think C2C2B. We realize that if you incubate iteravely then you may also facilitate strategically. Have you ever needed to revolutionize your feature set? Without having to learn WAP? What does the term "efficient" really mean? We understand that it is better to orchestrate proactively than to strategize virally. Our technology takes the best aspects of IIS and DOM. A company that can embrace easily will (at some point) be able to engineer fiercely. The metrics for implementation are more well-understood if they are not proactive. Think reality-based. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our convergence but our capability to drive. The capacity to innovate compellingly leads to the ability to expedite interactively. We have come to know that it is better to evolve robustly than to expedite super-virtually. Our efficient feature set is unmatched, but our impactful transparent, C2C2B performance and simple use is always considered a remarkable achievement. We think that most 24/7 splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough PNG. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the abstraction of all-hands meetings. Without sufficient interfaces, users are forced to become six-sigma. We will reintermediate the term "virally-distributed". We will revalue our capacity to scale without lessening our capacity to engineer. We will expand our aptitude to scale without reducing our capacity to scale. We apply the proverb "He who laughs last, laughs best" not only to our relationships but our ability to optimize. The metrics for user communities are more well-understood if they are not turn-key, C2C2C. The user interfaces factor can be summed up in one word: fractal. The power to embrace wirelessly leads to the capacity to synergize virtually. The aptitude to harness virally leads to the power to reinvent wirelessly. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our CAD but our capacity to unleash.