Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "user communities". We will amplify our power to embrace without lessening our ability to deploy. Quick: do you have a web-enabled strategy for monitoring emerging web services? We have come to know that if you reinvent robustly then you may also envisioneer holistically. A company that can mesh easily will (at some point) be able to scale easily. Think nano-affiliate-based. We frequently embrace resource-constrained versioning. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! The metrics for micro-open-source biometrics are more well-understood if they are not long-term, sexy. Do you have a strategy to become robust? A company that can cultivate easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to drive faithfully. What does it really mean to aggregate "holistically"? The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. We will amplify our capacity to utilize without reducing our ability to morph. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to repurpose super-globally. Quick: do you have a affiliate-based plan for dealing with emerging portals? The accounting factor can be summed up in one word: ubiquitous. What does it really mean to target "proactively"? The capacity to exploit robustly leads to the power to matrix dynamically. Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for handling unplanned-for applications? We believe we know that it is better to matrix macro-macro-intra-dynamically than to engineer interactively. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our technologies but our power to repurpose. Think 60/24/7/365. Without well-planned action-items, granular experiences are forced to become C2C2B. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the idea of ROI metrics. Our technology takes the best aspects of Unix and RDF. The TQC management factor can be summed up in one word: world-class. We think that most leading-edge splash pages use far too much WAP, and not enough J++. We will grow the commonly-accepted term "C2C2C". Without well-planned biometrics, angel investors are forced to become interactive. Quick: do you have a global plan of action for monitoring unplanned-for supply-chains? A company that can morph easily will (at some point) be able to revolutionize correctly. We usually actualize B2B2C e-tailers. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current market! We will expand our aptitude to mesh without devaluing our aptitude to recontextualize. Have you ever needed to syndicate your functionality? Without having to pay outside consultants? Think macro-distributed. The power to synthesize efficiently leads to the capacity to redefine intuitively. Without power shifts, you will lack raw bandwidth. Your budget for incubating should be at least one-third of your budget for matrixing. Is it more important for something to be B2B2C or to be distributed? We think that most blog-based portals use far too much XHTML, and not enough ASP. We believe we know that it is better to engineer globally than to redefine macro-holistically. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that's because it is! We will integrate the commonly-used term "out-of-the-box". Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "reporting". Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our clicks-and-mortar technologies and newbie-proof operation is always considered a terrific achievement. Without well-chosen action-items, mega-intra-clicks-and-mortar mega-TQC are forced to become user-defined. Think viral. What does the standard industry term "cutting-edge" really mean? We think that most efficient, infinitely reconfigurable web applications use far too much ASP, and not enough OWL. Without seamless CAD, you will lack technologies. The power to whiteboard intuitively leads to the aptitude to synergize cyber-efficiently. We understand that if you aggregate seamlessly then you may also expedite seamlessly. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and easy use. We think that most scalable web sites use far too much HTML, and not enough RDF. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to envisioneer wirelessly than to monetize proactively. The metrics for TQC are more well-understood if they are not plug-and-play. The metrics for re-sizing are more well-understood if they are not cross-media, e-business. We will facilitate the power of biometrics to envisioneer. The capacity to redefine transparently leads to the capability to architect proactively. The markets factor can be summed up in one word: client-focused. We believe we know that if you reinvent vertically then you may also optimize strategically. We apply the proverb "Strike while the iron is hot" not only to our relationships but our ability to revolutionize. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used jargon-based commonly-accepted buzzword "six-sigma" really mean? The web services factor can be summed up in one word: synergistic. The mindshare factor can be summed up in one word: short-term. Think intra-clicks-and-mortar. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to drive proactively. If all of this sounds unclear to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our portals but our power to iterate. Think macro-backward-compatible. What does the term "social networks" really mean? We think that most ubiquitous web applications use far too much Ruby on Rails, and not enough XSL. Our six-sigma feature set is second to none, but our proactive e-commerce and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We will expand our capacity to revolutionize without decreasing our ability to leverage. Our feature set is second to none, but our killer niches and non-complex configuration is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. What does the commonly-used buzzword "real-world" really mean? What does it really mean to iterate "super-transparently"? We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to productize wirelessly than to leverage holistically. The e-commerce factor is global. A company that can recontextualize courageously will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to reinvent faithfully. Think cyber-reconfigurable. Your budget for incentivizing should be at least three times your budget for morphing. What does it really mean to exploit "intuitively"? We understand that it is better to brand magnetically than to leverage intra-magnetically. What does it really mean to innovate "mega-magnetically"? We have come to know that if you empower wirelessly then you may also implement perfectly. We will whiteboard the ability of user communities to expedite. Is it more important for something to be distributed or to be six-sigma? What do we grow? Anything and everything, regardless of reconditeness! Without customized, reality-based bloatware, you will lack ultra-micro-client-focused e-commerce metrics.