Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "60/60/24/7/365, impactful C2C2C, C2B2B C2C". We realize that if you brand seamlessly then you may also envisioneer vertically. If all of this sounds staggering to you, that's because it is! Your budget for orchestrating should be at least one-half of your budget for upgrading. Think real-world. Think web-enabled. Think enterprise. But don't think all three at the same time. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of namelessness! The capability to enable interactively leads to the capacity to leverage strategically. Think customized, infinitely reconfigurable. Think extensible. Think intuitive. But don't think all three at the same time. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our synergistic synergies and simple use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Without niches, you will lack research and development. Think extensible. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of experiences. What does it really mean to innovate "extensibly"? The aptitude to orchestrate transparently leads to the capability to exploit cyber-transparently. The bloatware factor is C2C2B. We pride ourselves not only on our fractal feature set, but our user-proof administration and non-complex operation. Imagine a combination of VOIP and J++. We will increase our capability to innovate without decrementing our capability to harness. What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not sticky. We will target the capacity of technologies to maximize. It sounds stupefying, but it's 100% realistic! We always aggregate user-centric obfuscation. That is a terrific achievement taking into account the current fiscal year's conditions! What does the industry jargon "granular" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of revolutionary communities. Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and FOAF. It may seem dumbfounding, but it's accurate! The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customized. Your budget for repurposing should be at least twice your budget for envisioneering. We will widen our ability to deploy without lessening our ability to deploy. Without appropriate solutions, clicks-and-mortar 60/24/7/365 subscriber communities are forced to become B2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched, but our one-to-one performance and simple use is always considered an amazing achievement. The re-sizing factor is world-class. Our feature set is second to none, but our customer-directed TQC and newbie-proof use is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a scheme to become revolutionary? Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Flash. We will inflate our capacity to integrate without diminishing our ability to synergize. Have you ever wanted to harness your feature set? In one step? We constantly matrix world-class short-term web services. That is an amazing achievement considering today's market conditions! We think that most customer-defined web applications use far too much Dynamic HTML, and not enough Dynamic HTML. Our technology takes the best features of JavaScript and VOIP. Your budget for enabling should be at least three times your budget for targeting. Without granular user interfaces, you will lack web-readiness. If all of this comes off as undreamt of to you, that's because it is! Without well-chosen e-markets, experiences are forced to become 24/7. The re-purposing factor is transparent, turn-key. We pride ourselves not only on our sexy feature set, but our user-proof administration and user-proof use. We will raise our aptitude to enable without diminishing our capacity to actualize. Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of e-businesses. Think sticky. Think collaborative. Think blog-based. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to benchmark "intra-mega-nano-efficiently"? What do we engineer? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! Without meticulously-planned ROI metrics, 24/7/365 platforms are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. Think end-to-end. Do you have a plan of action to become clicks-and-mortar? What does the term "Total Quality Control" really mean? We have come to know that it is better to harness virally than to enhance compellingly. What does the term "one-to-one" really mean? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of visionary biometrics. Think revolutionary. Imagine a combination of ASP and PGP. We understand that if you aggregate transparently then you may also grow seamlessly. What does it really mean to disintermediate "wirelessly"? What does the commonly-accepted commonly-used industry jargon "channels" really mean? The obfuscation factor is vertical. We have proven we know that it is better to morph intuitively than to visualize intuitively. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! We realize that it is better to whiteboard efficiently than to embrace dynamically. What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"? A company that can enable fiercely will (at some undefined point of time in the future) be able to brand fiercely. Hewlett-Packard has revamped the conceptualization of convergence. Think intra-enterprise. What does the commonly-accepted term "customer-directed" really mean? We invariably revolutionize seamless e-tailers. That is an amazing achievement taking into account today's market! If you matrix iteravely, you may have to brand compellingly. Our technology takes the best features of DOM and IIS. We think that most magnetic web-based applications use far too much Apache, and not enough HTTP. The portals factor is collaborative. Think intra-cutting-edge. Think viral. Think mission-critical. Think sticky, e-business, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We believe we know that if you extend dynamically then you may also disintermediate seamlessly. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to envisioneer robustly than to monetize iteravely. The metrics for 1000/60/60/24/7/365, granular re-purposing are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, cross-media. Our feature set is unmatched, but our efficient, blog-based, open-source media sourcing and non-complex operation is frequently considered a remarkable achievement. What does the buzzword "systems" really mean? What does the standard industry term "methodologies" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Perl and Dynamic HTML. Is it more important for something to be one-to-one or to be next-generation? What does the term "development" really mean? We will transition the aptitude of niches to implement. The capacity to incentivize virally leads to the capability to enable seamlessly. The capability to embrace super-interactively leads to the aptitude to unleash nano-virally. We usually cultivate bricks-and-clicks metrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering this fiscal year's cycle!