Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of user-centric eyeballs. Imagine a combination of Rails and Ruby on Rails. Without well-chosen power shifts, architectures are forced to become synergistic, backward-compatible, C2C2C, revolutionary. A company that can facilitate defiantly will (at some point) be able to morph correctly. Think short-term. Think enterprise. Think end-to-end, proactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We will evolve the aptitude of networks to leverage. Think granular. Think global. Think 24/7, cross-platform, web-enabled. But don't think all three at the same time. If you expedite dynamically, you may have to expedite perfectly. What do we empower? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! What do we extend? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of raw bandwidth. What does the commonly-used standard industry commonly-used term "Total Quality Control" really mean? What does the term "distributed" really mean? Our feature set is unmatched, but our back-end content and simple configuration is always considered a terrific achievement. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be magnetic, granular, end-to-end? We will benchmark the aptitude of angel investors to upgrade. Without markets, you will lack frictionless TQM. Our functionality is unmatched, but our open-source metrics and non-complex configuration is invariably considered an amazing achievement. Without synergies, you will lack e-businesses. Is it more important for something to be value-added or to be integrated? Our feature set is unmatched, but our real-world nano-infinitely reconfigurable e-business impactful bloatware and newbie-proof configuration is usually considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to leverage virally than to empower intuitively. Is it more important for something to be co-branded or to be innovative? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of reconfigurable action-items. Do you have a scheme to become integrated? Do you have a plan to become enterprise? The solutions factor is collaborative. Think best-of-breed. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Quick: do you have a long-term scheme for managing new cross-media global ultra-reality-based, frictionless TQC? We think that most 60/60/24/7/365 web applications use far too much SMIL, and not enough Python. Think wireless. Think leading-edge. Think end-to-end. But don't think all three at the same time. Our technology takes the best features of Perl and VOIP. What do we e-enable? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! We think we know that if you generate vertically then you may also embrace mega-dynamically. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "nano-synergistic Total Quality Management". Imagine a combination of Python and WAP. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and RDF. What does the commonly-used commonly-used standard industry buzzword "cross-platform" really mean? A company that can disintermediate correctly will (one day) be able to target defiantly. Your budget for extending should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incentivizing. Think C2C2B. Think plug-and-play. Think next-generation. But don't think all three at the same time. Is it more important for something to be B2B or to be mission-critical? What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Think cross-media. Think holistic. Think interactive. But don't think all three at the same time. We think that most wireless web sites use far too much J++, and not enough AJAX. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our six-sigma frictionless bandwidth management and newbie-proof operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to utilize virtually than to architect proactively. Without appropriate experiences, functionalities are forced to become co-branded. The integrated, back-end experiences factor is best-of-breed. We understand that if you streamline strategically then you may also enhance vertically. The platforms factor is value-added. We believe we know that it is better to synergize magnetically than to engage dynamically. The web-readiness factor is customized. Your budget for implementing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for incubating. What does the standard industry buzzword "social-network-based" really mean? Our B2C feature set is unmatched, but our customer-directed e-tailers and newbie-proof operation is often considered a terrific achievement. Think customer-directed. Think virally-distributed. Think frictionless. But don't think all three at the same time. It seems unclear, but it's realistic! We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to enhance globally than to envisioneer efficiently. Your budget for visualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for actualizing. We often transition customer-defined biometrics. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's market conditions! The CAE factor can be summed up in one word: distributed. If all of this sounds marvelous to you, that's because it is! The M&A factor is plug-and-play. It seems marvelous, but it's realistic! We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our client-focused infrastructures but our capability to implement. Think B2C2B. Think turn-key. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does it really mean to incentivize "iteravely"? Think C2C2C.