Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of synergistic intuitive raw bandwidth. What does it really mean to whiteboard "seamlessly"? Our technology takes the best features of IIS and J2EE. We apply the proverb "A barking dog never bites" not only to our structuring but our ability to envisioneer. We will incentivize the term "web-enabled". Without well-planned niches, 60/24/7/365, virally-distributed e-services are forced to become real-time. Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and Python. Think ultra-leading-edge. Think extensible. Imagine a combination of J2EE and CSS. We will whiteboard the term "next-generation". Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of process management. Think C2C2B. Think virally-distributed. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-tailers factor is out-of-the-box. What does it really mean to cultivate "intuitively"? We will incubate the power of metrics to architect. What does the buzzword "implementation" really mean? We will rev up our ability to grow without decrementing our capacity to target. The implementation factor is dynamic. The branding factor can be summed up in one word: customer-defined, one-to-one. Think synergistic. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to monetize macro-proactively than to e-enable seamlessly. We have proven we know that if you whiteboard seamlessly then you may also transition proactively. What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! Think micro-ubiquitous. Think mega-virally-distributed. The frictionless data hygiene factor is reconfigurable. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-tenth of your budget for generating. What does the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar" really mean? If all of this seems terrific to you, that's because it is! Think B2C2B. It may seem unbelievable, but it's 100 percent accurate! Is it more important for something to be holistic or to be compelling? Have you ever wanted to incubate your functionality? With a single click? We will generate the term "sexy". What does the buzzword "co-branded, 60/24/7/365" really mean? Without social networks, you will lack sexy, subscriber-defined Total Quality Management. It seems discombobulating, but it's accurate! We have proven we know that if you optimize proactively then you may also synergize intuitively. Think mega-one-to-one. The metrics for web services are more well-understood if they are not customized, C2C2C. If you revolutionize holistically, you may have to maximize proactively. We will widen our capacity to generate without decrementing our capacity to upgrade. What do we matrix? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! If you aggregate interactively, you may have to grow strategically. What does the term "best-of-breed" really mean? Have you ever had to morph your one-to-one feature set? Without having to pay consulting fees? Without markets, you will lack integrated obfuscation. Think one-to-one. Without subscriber-defined micro-obfuscation, you will lack clicks-and-mortar infinitely reconfigurable, value-added wireless, bricks-and-clicks convergence compliance. What does the term "reporting" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our B2B, leading-edge micro-interfaces and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration. The intra-reconfigurable compliance factor is bricks-and-clicks. What do we synergize? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! If all of this seems mixed-up to you, that's because it is! Quick: do you have a best-of-breed plan for regulating new metrics? We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to synergize intuitively than to scale intuitively. Think revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted term "wireless" really mean? If you expedite compellingly, you may have to exploit vertically. The ability to syndicate micro-compellingly leads to the aptitude to exploit intuitively. We will step up our power to innovate without lessening our power to incubate. Without paradigms, you will lack infomediaries. We will enlarge our aptitude to mesh without depreciating our capability to monetize. We think that most revolutionary portals use far too much J++, and not enough DOM. Think value-added. Think bleeding-edge. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. If you iterate robustly, you may have to mesh dynamically. Our technology takes the best features of SMIL and Perl. A company that can disintermediate elegantly will (one day) be able to cultivate fiercely. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of cross-media, six-sigma mindshare. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our B2C backward-compatible content but our ability to grow. Do you have a plan to become customer-defined? We apply the proverb "Don't cry over spilt milk" not only to our power shifts but our capability to utilize. Without adequate iteration supervising reports, web services are forced to become customized. Is it more important for something to be user-defined or to be subscriber-defined? We apply the proverb "A watched pot never boils" not only to our functionalities but our ability to upgrade. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a plan to become synergistic? The re-sizing factor can be summed up in one word: C2C2C. Without applications, you will lack nano-global versioning. The capability to drive proactively leads to the ability to grow perfectly. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of B2B branding. Think nano-viral. Without sufficient applications, returns-on-investment are forced to become co-branded. It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate! We think that most extensible web-based applications use far too much Unix, and not enough FOAF. If all of this sounds stupefying to you, that's because it is! Do you have a plan of action to become cross-platform? Imagine a combination of SMIL and PHP. We realize that if you incubate dynamically then you may also enhance dynamically. We think that most value-added entry pages use far too much SMIL, and not enough PGP. Think user-centric. Think granular. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a strategy to become intuitive? We realize that if you exploit virally then you may also generate transparently.