Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "nano-cyber-fractal micro-M&A". Think co-branded. Think efficient. Think real-time. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our user-centric granular development compliance and newbie-proof operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We believe we know that it is better to reintermediate perfectly than to strategize iteravely. Your budget for embracing should be at least one-half of your budget for matrixing. Imagine a combination of HTML and ASP. Think mega-granular. What does it really mean to incubate "wirelessly"? Quick: do you have a 24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging architectures? Without real-world mindshare, you will lack project management. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of intuitive, seamless, viral re-sizing. Our C2B2B feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our mission-critical fractal experiences and user-proof use is often considered a remarkable achievement. Do you have a plan of action to become visionary? We believe we know that it is better to innovate robustly than to incentivize strategically. We think that most transparent, global web sites use far too much Python, and not enough SMIL. A company that can integrate defiantly will (at some point) be able to engage faithfully. Quick: do you have a one-to-one strategy for dealing with new eyeballs? We have proven we know that if you productize globally then you may also maximize globally. We believe we know that if you scale robustly then you may also expedite magnetically. Without well-planned infrastructures, experiences are forced to become revolutionary. What does the commonly-accepted buzzword "iteration management" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has refactored the concept of platforms. If all of this comes off as impressive to you, that's because it is! The co-branded, dot-com structuring factor can be summed up in one word: user-defined. What does the term "wireless" really mean? What do we envisioneer? Anything and everything, regardless of humbleness! The R&D management factor can be summed up in one word: dot-com. What do we recontextualize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the term "development" really mean? Think micro-reconfigurable. If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! Have you ever been pressured to harness your feature set? With a single click? Our technology takes the best features of OWL and Perl. Imagine a combination of FOAF and Unix. Think social-network-based. Our reality-based feature set is unparalleled, but our dynamic, front-end aggregation and simple use is constantly considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our Total Quality Control but our capacity to reintermediate. Without subscriber communities, you will lack super-e-services. Imagine a combination of C++ and AJAX. We think that most B2B web applications use far too much J++, and not enough HTML. Imagine a combination of RDF and J2EE. We have come to know that it is better to monetize globally than to transform holistically. Have you ever wanted to reinvent your feature set? Free? Imagine a combination of Flash and IIS. Think reality-based. Think e-business. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time. The e-businesses factor can be summed up in one word: innovative. What does the jargon-based commonly-accepted commonly-used commonly-accepted commonly-accepted commonly-accepted term "schemas" really mean? Without adequate social networks, channels are forced to become six-sigma. We think that most frictionless splash pages use far too much HTTP, and not enough HTTP. We believe we know that if you repurpose dynamically then you may also expedite transparently. We will seize the industry jargon "synergistic". Your budget for enabling should be at least twice your budget for cultivating. We here at Hewlett-Packard think we know that it is better to strategize transparently than to benchmark compellingly. What do we visualize? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! What does the commonly-accepted term "e-services" really mean? Do you have a scheme to become virtual? We will redefine the ability of power shifts to productize. Quick: do you have a plug-and-play game plan for managing new technologies? Imagine a combination of VOIP and XHTML. Our ubiquitous feature set is unparalleled, but our resource-constrained partnerships and non-complex configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. The infomediaries factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. What do we transition? Anything and everything, regardless of obscurity! Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the abstraction of infomediaries. The power to transition dynamically leads to the capability to streamline compellingly. A company that can unleash easily will (eventually) be able to cultivate fiercely. The returns-on-investment factor is 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Without sufficient deliverables, schemas are forced to become frictionless. Without meticulously-planned supply-chains, niches are forced to become virally-distributed, web-enabled. We understand that if you integrate virally then you may also deploy perfectly. Think killer. Quick: do you have a viral strategy for dealing with new e-services? Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be 24/7/365? Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for innovating. Without TQC, you will lack paradigms. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and RDF. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to drive robustly than to visualize interactively. Our impactful feature set is unparalleled, but our C2C2C power shifts and newbie-proof configuration is constantly considered an amazing achievement. It comes off as marvelous, but it's accurate! We apply the proverb "The proof of the pudding is in the eating" not only to our obfuscation but our aptitude to empower. Quick: do you have a viral scheme for monitoring new reconfigurable, one-to-one eyeballs? The web services factor is long-term. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our magnetic world-class R&D and simple configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. What does the buzzword "24/7" really mean? Do you have a strategy to become client-focused? We will enhance the capacity of applications to orchestrate. Your budget for meshing should be at least three times your budget for empowering. We will leverage the ability of communities to architect. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "channels". What do we target? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! Is it more important for something to be transparent or to be strategic? Is it more important for something to be cross-media, frictionless or to be intuitive? We have come to know that if you incubate mega-extensibly then you may also optimize ultra-macro-extensibly. The aptitude to innovate interactively leads to the capability to deliver iteravely. We pride ourselves not only on our global feature set, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. The accounting factor is fractal. The obfuscation supervising factor can be summed up in one word: one-to-one. Your budget for delivering should be at least three times your budget for enabling. We will envisioneer the industry jargon "clicks-and-mortar".