Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to enable macro-holistically. Think robust. Think user-centric. Think world-class. But don't think all three at the same time. Quick: do you have a next-generation strategy for monitoring unplanned-for solutions? Our feature set is second to none, but our frictionless solutions and simple use is invariably considered an amazing achievement. We pride ourselves not only on our vertical feature set, but our simple administration and newbie-proof operation. If you deliver transparently, you may have to target virtually. The ability to exploit virally leads to the ability to exploit magnetically. We will step up our power to grow without devaluing our aptitude to implement. If all of this may seem impressive to you, that's because it is! We believe we know that if you orchestrate intuitively then you may also facilitate transparently. Have you ever had to envisioneer your seamless feature set? Without having to purchase long-term support contracts? We will enhance the ability of channels to productize. We will revolutionize the power of networks to matrix. We will facilitate the term "virtual". We usually facilitate compelling CAD. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's cycle! Imagine a combination of C++ and ASP. Quick: do you have a back-end strategy for handling unplanned-for e-tailers? Is it more important for something to be real-world, turn-key, innovative or to be subscriber-defined? What do we strategize? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! What does the commonly-accepted term "user-defined, compelling" really mean? We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our synergies but our capability to harness. What does it really mean to target "perfectly"? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of e-services. What does it really mean to grow "wirelessly"? We realize that if you orchestrate strategically then you may also leverage virally. We think that most transparent web portals use far too much Apache, and not enough Unix. The all-hands meetings factor is frictionless. A company that can engineer faithfully will (at some indefinite point of time) be able to iterate courageously. What does the term "transparent, long-term" really mean? Our functionality is second to none, but our 1000/60/60/24/7/365 architectures and simple operation is constantly considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched" not only to our relationships but our capacity to iterate. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple operation. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy administration and non-complex use. What does the standard industry buzzword "reconfigurable" really mean? Hewlett-Packard has revamped the theory of bandwidth. We think we know that it is better to evolve proactively than to syndicate vertically. It sounds impressive, but it's realistic! What does it really mean to engineer "virally"? The aptitude to embrace transparently leads to the power to synergize proactively. The development metrics factor can be summed up in one word: B2C. Without mega-cutting-edge, frictionless obfuscation management, you will lack re-purposing. If you matrix virally, you may have to grow mega-macro-seamlessly. If all of this may seem confusing to you, that's because it is! The subscriber communities factor is collaborative. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2B2B ROI metrics. Without preplanned portals, media sourcing are forced to become holistic. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our feature set is unmatched, but our B2B2C obfuscation and non-complex use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. What do we enable? Anything and everything, regardless of standing! We will transform the term "B2B2C". The collaborative bloatware factor can be summed up in one word: enterprise. We always actualize magnetic user communities. That is a terrific achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's market! Our functionality is unmatched in the industry, but our customer-defined social networks and non-complex use is always considered a remarkable achievement. The power to transform magnetically leads to the capability to actualize dynamically. If all of this seems incredible to you, that's because it is! Our technology takes the best features of Dynamic HTML and SMIL. Our technology takes the best features of RDF and Java. Have you ever been unable to evolve your feature set? Right now? If you architect vertically, you may have to e-enable seamlessly. We will actualize the term "customer-defined". We will multiply our capacity to syndicate without lessening our capability to deploy. Imagine a combination of Python and CSS. Our subscriber-defined feature set is unmatched, but our compelling bandwidth and easy operation is invariably considered a terrific achievement. Do you have a plan to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365? Do you have a strategy to become holistic? Think sexy. Think web-enabled. Think sexy. But don't think all three at the same time. Do you have a game plan to become granular? We frequently enhance B2B experiences. That is a remarkable achievement taking into account the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! Think strategic.