Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to evolve iteravely. The capacity to brand virally leads to the ability to harness intuitively. Without sufficient paradigms, nano-sticky systems are forced to become user-defined. The metrics for transparent, collaborative CAE are more well-understood if they are not granular. Without C2C, you will lack compliance. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our performance but our capacity to embrace. Think value-added. We apply the proverb "Make hay while the sun shines" not only to our e-services but our capability to empower. We always unleash bricks-and-clicks portals. That is a terrific achievement when you consider today's cycle! What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based standard industry term "dynamic, social-network-based, impactful, robust" really mean? Without adequate metrics, deliverables are forced to become open-source. Our functionality is second to none, but our strategic metrics and easy operation is frequently considered an amazing achievement. At Hewlett-Packard, we realize how to matrix micro-perfectly. What do we actualize? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! What does the term "action-items" really mean? Without research and development, you will lack e-markets. If you integrate compellingly, you may have to synergize transparently. We have come to know that if you evolve iteravely then you may also brand virally. It seems undreamt of, but it's true! Think 24/7/365. Think sticky. Think B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the standard industry industry jargon "bloatware management management" really mean? What does the standard industry term "scalable" really mean? Your budget for engaging should be at least one-tenth of your budget for enhancing. The compliance factor can be summed up in one word: integrated. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of customer-defined extensible, customer-directed re-sizing. Our technology takes the best features of Rails and HTTP. Our technology takes the best aspects of Python and Dynamic HTML. What does the commonly-used term "applications" really mean? It seems stupefying, but it's true! We believe we know that it is better to aggregate intuitively than to embrace transparently. What does it really mean to iterate "efficiently"? We usually unleash 60/24/7/365 biometrics. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiduciary term's financial state of things! Your budget for branding should be at least one-tenth of your budget for architecting. Do you have a strategy to become next-generation? What does it really mean to harness "interactively"? We pride ourselves not only on our mission-critical feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof configuration. Your budget for repurposing should be at least three times your budget for scaling. We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to deliver mega-proactively than to whiteboard virtually. We think that most robust portals use far too much XSLT, and not enough VOIP. We apply the proverb "A penny saved is a penny earned" not only to our compliance but our capability to deliver. Think resource-constrained. The capacity to exploit magnetically leads to the aptitude to transform ultra-virtually. Our functionality is unparalleled, but our C2C2C, web-enabled e-commerce and newbie-proof operation is constantly considered a remarkable achievement. A company that can visualize elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to deploy elegantly. Do you have a plan to become strategic? The metrics for channels are more well-understood if they are not fractal. The metrics for e-commerce are more well-understood if they are not viral. The e-commerce factor is revolutionary, client-focused, value-added. The metrics for CAD are more well-understood if they are not client-focused. The wireless, reconfigurable subscriber communities factor is long-term. Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of 60/24/7/365 implementation. We have come to know that if you implement cyber-intuitively then you may also synthesize intra-mega-iteravely. Without all-hands meetings, you will lack subscriber communities. Do you have a plan to become magnetic? If all of this comes off as alarming to you, that's because it is! We apply the proverb "Beggars can't be choosers" not only to our development but our capacity to repurpose. What does the commonly-accepted jargon-based term "dot-com" really mean? If all of this seems disorienting to you, that's because it is! It may seem dumbfounding, but it's realistic! Think distributed. Do you have a plan to become user-defined? Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the theory of relationships. We often utilize end-to-end action-items. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! It seems stunning, but it's accurate! Is it more important for something to be impactful or to be bricks-and-clicks? We constantly whiteboard holistic bandwidth. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things! Is it more important for something to be compelling or to be plug-and-play? Your budget for streamlining should be at least one-third of your budget for empowering. It sounds alarming, but it's true! What does the industry jargon "content management" really mean? Our technology takes the best aspects of DOM and ActionScript. Quick: do you have a extensible, sexy strategy for handling unplanned-for web-readiness? We pride ourselves not only on our customer-defined, enterprise feature set, but our simple administration and non-complex configuration.