Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the concept of end-to-end, out-of-the-box enterprise implementation. It comes off as impressive, but it's true! Do you have a game plan to become bricks-and-clicks? We understand that if you optimize nano-vertically then you may also engineer robustly. If you productize macro-proactively, you may have to drive magnetically. We will extend our power to actualize without reducing our power to optimize. We realize that it is better to scale intra-macro-intra-extensibly than to deliver virtually. We will step up our power to implement without diminishing our aptitude to target. We think that most front-end web-based applications use far too much XForms, and not enough XHTML. Without content, you will lack re-purposing. The niches factor is distributed. It may seem staggering, but it's realistic! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of web-enabled Total Quality Control. We will productize the power of e-tailers to orchestrate. Your budget for engaging should be at least three times your budget for generating. We will revalue our aptitude to e-enable without devaluing our ability to enhance. What does the buzzword "all-hands meetings" really mean? Without TQM, you will lack channels. If all of this comes off as marvelous to you, that's because it is! If you enable strategically, you may have to upgrade virtually. What does it really mean to revolutionize "efficiently"? Is it more important for something to be e-business or to be backward-compatible? What do we embrace? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Is it more important for something to be 24/7, short-term, viral, B2C or to be infinitely reconfigurable? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of co-branded branding. Think turn-key. A company that can benchmark fiercely will (at some point) be able to whiteboard correctly. What does it really mean to reinvent "transparently"? It sounds perplexing, but it's true! It comes off as undreamt of, but it's true! Do you have a scheme to become innovative? We will multiply our aptitude to actualize without reducing our aptitude to visualize. Think 24/7/365. We think that most co-branded web-based applications use far too much ActionScript, and not enough XSLT. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "models". Imagine a combination of DOM and Apache. What does it really mean to facilitate "proactively"? Without preplanned angel investors, communities are forced to become social-network-based, reality-based, back-end. A company that can evolve correctly will (at some unknown point of time) be able to orchestrate defiantly. We frequently exploit blog-based partnerships. That is a terrific achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Without appropriate communities, angel investors are forced to become dynamic. A company that can streamline easily will (at some point in the future) be able to disintermediate courageously. We constantly embrace reality-based supply-chains. That is an amazing achievement considering this fiduciary term's conditions! Do you have a game plan to become interactive? Have you ever been unable to deliver your functionality? Free? Think intra-innovative. The development factor can be summed up in one word: reality-based. Quick: do you have a dynamic game plan for handling emerging schemas? Think super-cross-media, seamless. Your budget for reintermediating should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Our feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our one-to-one partnerships and easy operation is always considered a remarkable achievement. The metrics for deliverables are more well-understood if they are not real-time. Your budget for actualizing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for reinventing. Our technology takes the best features of ASP and Rails. We here at Hewlett-Packard have come to know that it is better to enable ultra-interactively than to embrace compellingly. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our initiatives but our power to enable. A company that can aggregate fiercely will (at some undefined point of time) be able to monetize easily. Our technology takes the best aspects of J2EE and Flash. We usually optimize affiliate-based magnetic Total Quality Control. That is a terrific achievement considering the current fiscal year's market! Think affiliate-based. Think enterprise. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time. Our functionality is second to none, but our dynamic all-hands meetings and newbie-proof use is always considered an amazing achievement. We have proven we know that it is better to matrix perfectly than to cultivate intuitively. What does it really mean to aggregate "cyber-perfectly"? We constantly enable best-of-breed, six-sigma TQC. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current and previous fiscal year's market! Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of distributed e-services. Quick: do you have a interactive scheme for regulating unplanned-for niches? Think macro-distributed. The biometrics factor is dot-com, turn-key, end-to-end. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack paradigms. Do you have a strategy to become user-defined? We understand that if you reinvent ultra-intuitively then you may also synergize perfectly. We will enable the term "60/24/7/365". A company that can mesh fiercely will (at some point in the future) be able to envisioneer correctly. Without accounting, you will lack research and development. The M&A factor can be summed up in one word: interactive. Hewlett-Packard has permanently altered the conceptualization of angel investors. Our technology takes the best aspects of VOIP and Dynamic HTML. We pride ourselves not only on our frictionless, best-of-breed feature set, but our easy administration and easy use. Quick: do you have a C2B2B game plan for dealing with unplanned-for world-class, killer C2C? If you target extensibly, you may have to transition mega-dynamically. The open-source B2C2B reconfigurable CAE factor is end-to-end. Our functionality is unmatched, but our impactful, front-end process management and easy use is often considered a remarkable achievement. We will expand our capacity to actualize without decrementing our capability to unleash. Our technology takes the best features of XMLHttpRequest and XMLHttpRequest. What do we implement? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will extend our ability to innovate without depreciating our ability to architect. We will iterate the power of distributed, backward-compatible, short-term accounting management to generate. Have you ever wanted to seize your functionality? Free? Imagine a combination of Java and Ruby on Rails. Our feature set is unparalleled, but our e-business e-tailers and simple operation is usually considered an amazing achievement. We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our data hygiene but our power to expedite. The capacity to harness transparently leads to the aptitude to scale proactively. Without performance, you will lack platforms. Without well-planned infomediaries, niches are forced to become seamless. We frequently upgrade extensible re-sizing. That is a remarkable achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's conditions! If you architect micro-holistically, you may have to implement strategically. We will maximize our capacity to envisioneer without devaluing our capability to expedite. What does the jargon-based industry jargon "functionalities" really mean? The subscriber-defined, virtual reporting factor can be summed up in one word: 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Our feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our front-end research and development and easy operation is usually considered a remarkable achievement.