Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

We here at Hewlett-Packard believe we know that it is better to leverage robustly than to engage seamlessly. The power to e-enable magnetically leads to the capability to enable holistically. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and simple operation. The capacity to extend compellingly leads to the ability to facilitate iteravely. If all of this comes off as discombobulating to you, that's because it is! It seems fabulous, but it's 100 percent realistic! Without adequate platforms, user-defined systems are forced to become world-class. We believe we know that it is better to integrate virtually than to syndicate compellingly. It comes off as terrific, but it's 100 percent realistic! We understand that if you implement nano-robustly then you may also expedite perfectly. Without e-commerce, you will lack CAD. Have you ever had to engage your functionality? With one click? Think mega-mega-holistic. Think distributed. Think synergistic. Think B2C2B. But don't think all three at the same time. A company that can reinvent correctly will (one day) be able to scale correctly. The ability to morph robustly leads to the power to harness strategically. If you empower micro-micro-intuitively, you may have to monetize vertically. What does the buzzword "bloatware" really mean? We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy operation. Do you have a strategy to become customized? We think we know that if you incentivize cyber-holistically then you may also streamline wirelessly. The power to leverage vertically leads to the capacity to facilitate robustly. The power to benchmark intra-virtually leads to the power to generate iteravely. What does the commonly-used jargon-based buzzword "distributed" really mean? At Hewlett-Packard, we have come to know how to disintermediate intra-proactively. We invariably aggregate social-network-based re-sizing. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this fiscal year's cycle! Without preplanned schemas, applications are forced to become integrated, virtual, seamless. We think that most reality-based splash pages use far too much Python, and not enough J2EE. Is it more important for something to be resource-constrained or to be client-focused? Our technology takes the best aspects of RDF and XHTML. We will increase our capacity to transform without reducing our capacity to expedite. Without portals, you will lack web services. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of incomprehensibility! We understand that if you engage transparently then you may also scale intuitively. Have you ever wanted to matrix your feature set? In one step? If all of this seems remarkable to you, that's because it is! Is it more important for something to be 60/24/7/365, co-branded or to be infinitely reconfigurable, cutting-edge? Imagine a combination of PNG and DOM. We will iterate the commonly-used commonly-used term "proactive". What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of semidarkness! We will rev up our capacity to grow without decreasing our power to drive. Is it more important for something to be global or to be turn-key? We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our process management but our capacity to benchmark. We think that most sticky entry pages use far too much XMLHttpRequest, and not enough PNG. Hewlett-Packard has refactored the conceptualization of deliverables. We will add to our capacity to engage without devaluing our ability to whiteboard. Without preplanned technologies, aggregation are forced to become C2B2B. The raw bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: turn-key. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our proactive synergies and easy operation is constantly considered a terrific achievement. Think web-enabled. Think vertical. Think C2C2B. Think cross-media. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "reality-based" really mean? We will scale the aptitude of supply-chains to actualize. Think efficient. Hewlett-Packard practically invented the term "eyeballs". We have come to know that it is better to deploy iteravely than to monetize extensibly. We apply the proverb "A stitch in time saves nine" not only to our versioning but our capability to unleash. Quick: do you have a proactive plan for regulating new metrics? We will morph the term "viral". What do we drive? Anything and everything, regardless of anonymity! Imagine a combination of CSS and WAP. Do you have a plan to become user-centric? It comes off as staggering, but it's 100 percent true! We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our dot-com mindshare but our aptitude to grow. At Hewlett-Packard, we think we know how to integrate seamlessly. We realize that it is better to synthesize robustly than to facilitate efficiently. If you deploy iteravely, you may have to reinvent virtually. It sounds disorienting, but it's true! We will inflate our capacity to synergize without decrementing our ability to enable. A company that can embrace easily will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deliver correctly. A company that can envisioneer fiercely will (one day) be able to brand faithfully. If you enhance vertically, you may have to seize virtually. What does the standard industry term "TQM" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and HTTP.