Corporate Gibberish Generator™

Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click "Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)

Hewlett-Packard has revamped the abstraction of R&D. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and non-complex configuration. Without compliance, you will lack mission-critical, 24/7 obfuscation. What does the buzzword "relationships" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of FOAF and WAP. Do you have a strategy to become dynamic? What does the term "1000/60/60/24/7/365" really mean? Our technology takes the best features of Flash and WAP. If you benchmark virally, you may have to optimize wirelessly. Our leading-edge feature set is unparalleled in the industry, but our magnetic raw bandwidth and easy operation is always considered an amazing achievement. Quick: do you have a web-enabled scheme for handling unplanned-for power shifts? Hewlett-Packard is the industry leader of C2C2C M&A. The power to synergize compellingly leads to the aptitude to enhance compellingly. Think intuitive. Think ubiquitous. Think customized. But don't think all three at the same time. Your budget for redefining should be at least one-third of your budget for exploiting. The metrics for e-services are more well-understood if they are not user-centric. What does the commonly-used jargon-based term "scalable" really mean? Think micro-integrated. Do you have a scheme to become bricks-and-clicks? We believe we know that it is better to transition mega-holistically than to innovate nano-iteravely. Think 60/24/7/365. Think bricks-and-clicks. Think C2B2B. But don't think all three at the same time. What does the term "seamless, 60/24/7/365 iteration" really mean? Think B2C2B. Our functionality is unmatched, but our e-business wireless, back-end, vertical bandwidth and user-proof use is frequently considered a terrific achievement. Have you ever needed to grow your functionality? Without having to learn Python? We usually leverage virally-distributed bandwidth. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current fiscal year's financial state of things! We think that most dynamic portals use far too much ActionScript, and not enough Rails. The capability to e-enable compellingly leads to the capacity to syndicate transparently. The aptitude to incubate ultra-iteravely leads to the capability to streamline efficiently. The metrics for architectures are more well-understood if they are not bricks-and-clicks. A company that can streamline faithfully will (at some point) be able to grow fiercely. We always architect synergistic systems. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider this year's conditions! It comes off as amazing, but it's true! We think that most real-time splash pages use far too much FOAF, and not enough AJAX. Think intra-cross-platform. We here at Hewlett-Packard have proven we know that it is better to leverage intuitively than to innovate interactively. The metrics for mega-social-network-based structuring are more well-understood if they are not customer-directed. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and simple operation. Quick: do you have a extensible strategy for handling emerging markets? Our technology takes the best aspects of HTTP and ActionScript. Is it more important for something to be user-centric or to be world-class? Your budget for syndicating should be at least one-half of your budget for deploying. Without sufficient all-hands meetings, deliverables are forced to become impactful. Without sufficient platforms, macro-seamless re-sizing are forced to become granular. The sexy, world-class solutions factor is customized. Think innovative. Think visionary. Think B2C, reality-based. But don't think all three at the same time. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our easy administration and easy configuration. Imagine a combination of J2EE and PGP. At Hewlett-Packard, we have proven we know how to embrace magnetically. The structuring factor is front-end. The bandwidth factor can be summed up in one word: dynamic. A company that can incubate easily will (eventually) be able to mesh courageously. We have proven we know that if you engineer intra-interactively then you may also actualize interactively. Your budget for recontextualizing should be at least one-third of your budget for engineering. Quick: do you have a B2B scheme for coping with new e-services? We believe we know that if you mesh perfectly then you may also harness interactively. We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our user-proof administration and easy configuration. Quick: do you have a mission-critical plan of action for dealing with new e-markets? Our technology takes the best features of C++ and XSL. Think interactive. Think scalable. Think out-of-the-box. But don't think all three at the same time. We here at Hewlett-Packard understand that it is better to orchestrate robustly than to deploy holistically. What does the buzzword "24/7/365" really mean? We understand that if you integrate compellingly then you may also drive perfectly. We will harness the term "e-business". We frequently strategize transparent TQC. That is a remarkable achievement when you consider the current conditions! We apply the proverb "You cannot have your cake and eat it too" not only to our Total Quality Control but our ability to embrace. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for generating. Think integrated. Think C2B2B. If you leverage extensibly, you may have to syndicate transparently. We will mesh the ability of eyeballs to syndicate. If all of this seems marvelous to you, that's because it is! Hewlett-Packard has revolutionized the abstraction of re-sizing. What does the commonly-used industry jargon "models" really mean? Your budget for pushing the envelope should be at least one-third of your budget for redefining. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our newbie-proof administration and newbie-proof use. Imagine a combination of OWL and AJAX. The architectures factor is cross-media. If you e-enable compellingly, you may have to matrix intra-cyber-super-virally. It sounds unclear, but it's realistic! Your budget for matrixing should be at least one-third of your budget for implementing. What does the term "iteration" really mean? Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our short-term structuring and easy use is invariably considered a terrific achievement. We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our e-commerce reports but our capacity to streamline. We think we know that it is better to enable efficiently than to drive ultra-mega-vertically.