Welcome to the Corporate Gibberish Generator™ by Andrew Davidson. andrewdavidson/at\andrewdavidson/dot\com
Enter your company name and click
"Generate" to generate several paragraphs of corporate gibberish
suitable for pasting into your prospectus.
(The gibberish is geared more toward Internet and technology companies.)
If you whiteboard iteravely, you may have to iterate globally.
Have you ever had to syndicate your virtual feature set? Without having to pay outside consultants?
Think impactful. Think out-of-the-box. Think scalable. But don't think all three at the same time.
Think C2B2B. Think collaborative. Think compelling. But don't think all three at the same time.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and user-proof use.
What does the commonly-used commonly-used commonly-accepted term "extensible" really mean?
We apply the proverb "It never rains but it pours" not only to our visionary Total Quality Control but our capacity to syndicate.
If all of this sounds astounding to you, that's because it is!
We will grow the commonly-accepted jargon-based industry jargon "scalable".
We have proven we know that it is better to incubate virtually than to brand compellingly.
We will grow our aptitude to redefine without lessening our ability to scale.
Our technology takes the best features of Flash and XHTML.
Our efficient feature set is unparalleled, but our sexy users and newbie-proof use is often considered an amazing achievement.
What does the commonly-used term "dynamic" really mean?
It may seem undreamt of, but it's true!
Have you ever been unable to cultivate your cutting-edge, enterprise feature set? Right now?
What do we integrate? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance!
We apply the proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" not only to our cyber-holistic versioning but our capacity to architect.
The metrics for B2C2B R&D are more well-understood if they are not distributed.
Our technology takes the best aspects of CSS and SVG.
If all of this sounds amazing to you, that's because it is!
We apply the proverb "Too many cooks spoil the broth" not only to our e-businesses but our power to innovate.
If all of this may seem incredible to you, that's because it is!
What does it really mean to reinvent "vertically"?
We will grow our aptitude to recontextualize without decreasing our capability to morph.
We will iterate the jargon-based term "six-sigma".
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of impactful TQC.
The R&D factor is affiliate-based.
We will innovate the commonly-used buzzword "bleeding-edge".
We realize that it is better to synergize proactively than to utilize wirelessly.
We will expedite the aptitude of applications to utilize.
If you optimize efficiently, you may have to recontextualize extensibly.
The infrastructures factor can be summed up in one word: wireless, leading-edge.
We apply the proverb "Like father like son" not only to our metrics but our capability to implement.
The ability to synergize extensibly leads to the power to actualize cyber-super-globally.
A company that can synergize courageously will (eventually) be able to productize faithfully.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our robust all-hands meetings and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement.
Think C2B2B.
We think that most C2B2B, e-business web portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP.
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent practically invented the term "implementation".
Quick: do you have a reconfigurable plan for managing emerging infrastructures?
Think mission-critical. Think cross-platform. Think six-sigma. But don't think all three at the same time.
We usually revolutionize sexy e-markets. That is an amazing achievement when you consider this fiscal year's conditions!
We apply the proverb "When the cat's away, the mice will play" not only to our subscriber communities but our aptitude to synthesize.
Without adequate schemas, networks are forced to become turn-key.
The capability to envisioneer virally leads to the power to monetize perfectly.
We will maximize the commonly-used jargon-based commonly-used industry jargon "efficient".
Our technology takes the best features of ASP and ASP.
What does the term "world-class" really mean?
Quick: do you have a cross-media plan for coping with unplanned-for web-readiness?
Have you ever had to engineer your long-term feature set? In one step?
Your budget for reinventing should be at least one-half of your budget for driving.
Our feature set is unparalleled, but our reconfigurable markets and easy use is frequently considered an amazing achievement.
We will widen our capacity to evolve without depreciating our capacity to brand.
It comes off as unclear, but it's entirely true!
Think enterprise.
Without sufficient models, methodologies are forced to become 60/60/24/7/365.
If you iterate iteravely, you may have to morph extensibly.
The metrics for e-business intuitive e-services are more well-understood if they are not revolutionary, B2B2C.
Your budget for integrating should be at least one-tenth of your budget for redefining.
Your budget for leveraging should be at least one-half of your budget for orchestrating.
Your budget for orchestrating should be at least twice your budget for enabling.
It may seem fabulous, but it's realistic!
We will inflate our capacity to e-enable without decrementing our power to evolve.
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of sticky deliverables.
We frequently transition backward-compatible all-hands meetings. That is a terrific achievement taking into account this quarter's financial state of things!
Think e-business. Think backward-compatible. Think reconfigurable. But don't think all three at the same time.
We will step up our ability to transform without lessening our power to expedite.
A company that can leverage fiercely will (someday) be able to whiteboard easily.
Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 strategy for monitoring emerging e-tailers?
Think interactive. Think cutting-edge. Think open-source. But don't think all three at the same time.
The metrics for R&D are more well-understood if they are not seamless.
What does the term "efficient" really mean?
The synergies factor is co-branded.
If all of this comes off as unbelievable to you, that's because it is!
It sounds remarkable, but it's accurate!
We here at Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent think we know that it is better to strategize robustly than to harness micro-iteravely.
What does it really mean to matrix "iteravely"?
We will utilize the capacity of end-to-end mindshare to integrate.
Imagine a combination of PNG and XForms.
We believe we know that if you enable intuitively then you may also integrate super-vertically.
We think we know that it is better to embrace micro-virally than to orchestrate super-wirelessly.
What does it really mean to productize "transparently"?
We will optimize the term "real-world".
A company that can target correctly will (at some undefined point of time) be able to engage easily.
Do you have a game plan to become dynamic?
We think we know that if you disintermediate strategically then you may also extend wirelessly.
We constantly upgrade B2C2B nano-platforms. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year's cycle!
We have come to know that it is better to implement vertically than to benchmark extensibly.
The content reports factor is clicks-and-mortar.
Mardi Gras 2011: New Orleans Celebrates End of Carnival Before Lent is the industry leader of bleeding-edge bandwidth.
The aptitude to integrate intuitively leads to the ability to e-enable intuitively.
Without obfuscation management, you will lack convergence.
Our innovative feature set is unmatched in the industry, but our plug-and-play e-services and non-complex configuration is invariably considered a terrific achievement.
Without web-readiness, you will lack front-end, plug-and-play cyber-Total Quality Control.
We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our non-complex administration and easy configuration.
Do you have a plan of action to become out-of-the-box?
What does the term "end-to-end" really mean?
What do we disintermediate? Anything and everything, regardless of abstruseness!
Without M&A, you will lack C2C.
Quick: do you have a holistic game plan for managing emerging e-businesses?